#this is what is wrong with society

[medievalthymes]

"Kill them with kindness" WRONG. drop the opera house chandelier on them.

#sarah.txt #why is there no chandelier emoji #this is what is wrong with society #poto #phantom of the opera

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

#dog books #this chapter was very sad reading #when you become aware of punishment #and its use and its prevalence #it's hard not to despair #again this is why positive reinforcement feels like absolution #maybe now my eyes are open I can make up for what I did #what I did because it's what everyone does #because it's more acceptable to punish than to do anything else #I've been having so many thoughts about punishment and society and justice #this book was very validating #another great validating moment in my jumbled thoughts #was listening to the You're Wrong About episode on justice #with Amanda Knox #it helped to ease the despair a little

[fuckmeyer]

the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #edward cullen #twilight saga #twilight meta #not to be a downer but the edward/jacob feud is silly #i understand this feud will continue in perpetuity because controversy & drama will always garner attention in online spaces etc #but the idea that either of these men will provide the happy story some people in this fandom want is an illusion #because no matter what happens The Twilight Saga still operates in the context of the vampire/gothic genre which by design can't produce #a 100% happy ending. the vampire itself reflects the inner anxieties of a society - & isolation & change & death - etc. #these are anxieties that can be alleviated thru vamp media. they can be escaped but never solved. which is part of the horror of the genre #The Horror Will Not Go Away #& in this respect Twilight is NOT the exception to the rule. #'oh but it's a YA romance so-' yeah so the black walls get wallpapered. they're still black underneath & nothing changes that #i wish we were able to debate the choice between Edward & Jacob while still bearing in mind neither choice is wrong #i think this fandom would be a lot less toxic & mean to each other for no fuckin reason but oh well

[penelopecolinb]

it seems like some of you don't really understand the social implications in regency england for an unpopular debutante when her good friend who also happens to be one of the most eligible bachelors of the ton declares that she's not worthy of courting in her own damn garden after being seen taking multiple liberties with her.

it has nothing to do with the fact that he doesn't return her feelings. it has everything to do with how absolutely careless he was with her. even if he didnt realise he was leading her on, that's what he did. he made things harder for a woman who already had so little by her side. he used to be one of the reasons she could stand being part of the ton, but in that moment he instantly became just like one of her bullies. and obviously that breaks her until she becomes what we saw in the sneak peek for s3.

people will see how her friends treat her and think it's fine to mock her to her face. she is the embarrassment, the laughingstock and it was fine when she thought she had the bridgertons by her side. but now she knows what colin really thinks of her. he validated all the bullies she had, when she was mocked for her looks or her shyness. that is such a painful betrayal, especially when not TWO FUCKING SECONDS ago he claimed that she was special to him!!!!!!!

is that not worthy of grovelling?????? cuz i fucking think it is.

#idc what ANYONE says #colin is going to have to fucking grovel for it #some of ya'll just really dont understand the nuance of regency england society expectations #i cant believe some of you guys think he did nothing wrong and he has nothing to apologise for #he's gonna lose his confidence this season? good #he deserves to know what he almost lost #penelope featherington #polin #bridgerton s3 #bridgerton season 3

[stromblessed]

Mizu was wrong to let Akemi be taken because they both deserve better

First, a confession. When I saw this for the first time:

I was relieved. I knew that was what Mizu was going to say and I felt like it's what I would have said in that situation too.

When Akemi does this:

I cringed, because if we know anything about Mizu, it's that she (1) isn't quick to make friends (though to be fair, even though Akemi did try to kill Mizu, so did Taigen - multiple times! - and look how that turned out lol), and (2) doesn't take orders.

So when Akemi and Ringo and later Taigen get angry at Mizu, are they being unfair?

Sure, Mizu isn't obligated to treat Akemi - or Taigen or Ringo or anybody else - nicely, or to serve them, or to be honorable, or be a hero to them, or whatever. No human being is obligated to any other human being. We all have the choice to do whatever we want to anybody else. But the point of flawed characters in storytelling is the tension between those characters and their potential. Their growth into someone who can choose the higher, harder path, who chooses to be obligated to others, who chooses kindness and compassion.

Because Mizu's problem isn't revenge. Nobody is preaching at Mizu that revenge isn't the answer. Her circumstances do suck, her life has been incredibly unfair, she is marginalized, and as far as we and Mizu know for most of the season, she is a child born of violence and no one is saying that that violence doesn't deserve to be repaid in kind.

Mizu's problem is isolation. And the fact that she thinks she has no responsibility toward her fellow human beings, because her hatred of her own circumstances and her having no life outside of her quest devours everything else. This is a problem because it turns Mizu into the worst version of herself. A version that hurts the people who like Mizu, the people who care about her.

Practically, Mizu has just taken on an entire army almost by herself. She's hurt. She's exhausted. If she were to defend Akemi now, it'd be yet ANOTHER fight, this time against horsed and armored samurai.

But that's not the reason Mizu gives Ringo. Mizu's ability or willingness to fight isn't even on her mind. All she says is, "She's better off."

"She's better off" is Mizu deciding what's best for Akemi. Akemi's entire story is about her being a caged bird longing to fly free.

One after the other, every man and woman in Akemi's life makes her decisions for her. She has to grovel and smile prettily and lie through her teeth just for the chance to be heard. Mizu judges Akemi for being a rich princess who isn't being more grateful for what she has, all without understanding Akemi's situation, and without any curiosity for why Akemi feels the way she does. From Akemi's perspective, Mizu is just one more person (one more man!) in a long lineup who ignores Akemi's wishes and (casually!) makes a decision for her that impacts Akemi's life greatly.

In the end, even Seki concludes that Akemi should get to decide what's best for Akemi. What others think that Akemi SHOULD want does not matter compared to what Akemi wants for her own life. As Madame Kaji said - Madame Kaji, who despite calling out the weirdness of Akemi's situation as well as the childishness of her decision to run away - is the only person Akemi meets who doesn't try to make decisions for Akemi, but instead only challenges Akemi to work for and be worthy of what she wants - she needs to decide what she wants for her own fucking self, and then take it.

Mizu being born female does not make her automatically wiser for letting Akemi be taken, and it does not preclude her from having a hand in giving Akemi back to her jailers. A patriarchy that Mizu knows full well would stop Mizu from achieving her own goals if she didn't present as male.

Mizu is still understandable here. She just had to kill Kinuyo, a disabled girl sold by her father into prostitution, a girl in a situation so far beyond Akemi's worst imaginings that I can practically feel Mizu's world being rocked just by comparing them in her mind the way she most likely is. That still doesn't make it right for Mizu to let Akemi be carried off to be sold into marriage by her father against her wishes. Those "good options" Mizu thinks Akemi has don't exist, no more than they ever existed for Mizu. Akemi and Mizu both have to get creative, make the best of their circumstances, take dangerous risks, and break rules in order to have any control over their own lives.

Even on my first watch, when at first I thought that Mizu had made the right decision and that Akemi was being unreasonable, Akemi screaming Mizu's name while being dragged, LITERALLY DRAGGED, back to her father was haunting as hell.

Mizu had the power to help Akemi, and simply chose not to.

Mizu lets Akemi be taken, Akemi who has just begun to trust Mizu. Mizu calls Ringo weak and quickly - seemingly easily - turns her back on him. Mizu values her quest over Taigen's life, after Taigen has endured days of torture to protect her, and she not only risks his life in the process, but doesn't tell him that Akemi is engaged to someone else, or that she came looking for Taigen, or that she is in danger.

Mizu's sword breaks because it is too brittle. Too pure. Too singleminded. Mizu only melts down the meteorite metal when she mixes the metal with objects from parts of her life that have nothing to do with her quest. Objects from the people she cares about, and who care about her.

All I'm saying is - Mizu doesn't have to be a hero. But she is the better version of herself when she reaches out to help and connect with others. When she's just a decent, kinder human being. And I think that's what this story is telling us that we should want for Mizu.

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #bes #I have so many more thoughts about Mizus tangential relationship to honor and heroism but that is for another post #also reviewing these scenes made me realize that when Mizu calls Ringo weak she LOOKS POINTEDLY AT HIS (LACK OF) HANDS #she legit calls him weak for his disability after EVERYTHING THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH #like Ringo was def disappointed that his master chose not to behave like the (nonexistent) samurai ideal #but what made him ANGRY was the weakness comment and I did not clock that before #also to be explored more in another post #a third thing to explore in another post is how both mizu and taigen have wronged akemi on the basis of Edo period society being A Society #though Mizu starts to correct her own mistake by going back for Akemi - its Taigen whos on thin ice lolol

[chirpsythismorning]

Say it’s likely there will be a Brokeback Mountain reference in s5 and nobody bats an eye.

Say it’s likely that the final byler fight will be inspired by this scene and society goes wild.

#byler #we could’ve had a good life together! #a fuckin' real good life! #had us a place of our own #but you didn’t want it ennis!! #so what we got now is brokeback mountain!! #that part #it just takes me straight to the repetition of them wanting to play games together for the rest of their lives #how they’ve been sort of hiding behind this idea that really is about them wanting to be with each other #the way it’s focused on in their s3 fight #and then Will bringing it up AGAIN in s4 light heartedly and Mike sort of just being somber about it #and what follows right after it… #idk brokeback mountain might support that Mike knew Will was lying about the painting (unserious) (but no actually) #Dimitri @ Yuri lying about what is wrong with the plane #(even tho we know he’s hiding the truth in his pocket) #: you know it to be true. and yet you continue to play tricks!! #😀😀😀 #and society goes wild #so I think the scenes will be identical? #no that’s not the point #one word gesture or even costume design could pay homage to it for a second during their final fight #with a mention of playing games together for the rest of their lives #and what that actually has meant this whole time… #and it’s a wrap

[cinnamonsikwate]

"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White

#dungeon meshi #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing #shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy #i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society #pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred #it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms #shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character #his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point #they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms #shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely #anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills #to hash things out before they got too bad #re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her #she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self #alas not meant to be #i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me #i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him #marcille famously racist 😭 #characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged #practically everyone is casually racist at some point #anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery #he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭 #calemonsito notes #edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin! #i'm sorry toshiro 😭

[bumblingbabooshka]

My name is [BRUTUS] and my name means [HEAVY] so with a [HEAVY] heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy

Something about having absolutely no choice in who you marry. About being literally forced by the law to spill blood - to accept this stranger as your husband over a man you truly care for or accept the fact that the man you love might die because you put him in danger. Something about risking becoming the wife of a man you've never even seen before a few minutes prior because you know anything would be better than putting your beloved in harm's way. Something about the trust inherent in that decision and in the way she speaks of it after. Truthfully, T'Pring doesn't know the captain and she doesn't know Spock. Either one of them could have taken her as their wife but she does know Stonn. She knows that Stonn will remain by her side no matter what. They made a plan together. They have an agreement which T'Pring believes will be upheld even though the plan changed with the arrival of Kirk. Stonn will always be there, always, and Stonn will be hers. Something about the language used around T'Pring: Ownership, subservience, non-personhood. T'Pring is an object that Spock can win. She cannot reject him, she has no say in the matter other than having Stonn 'claim' her instead. Even when Spock leaves after being very clearly rejected by T'Pring he says "Stonn, she is yours." as if despite her clear rejection he still owns her and is must formally 'give' her to Stonn. But the language T'Pring uses around Stonn is a break from that: "There was Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort, and I wanted him." Stonn who wanted very much to be HER consort and she WANTED him. The language here is very particular - It's not, for example: "Stonn wanted me to be his wife" - he is HERS. And she WANTS him. There's a mutual affection there and a strong trust - a trust which seems to be well founded since Stonn (though silent) stands by her side at the end of the episode. <- That might seem small but if Spock would reject her for 'daring to challenge' (again, the language is not 'because I don't want you' but more of an implied disgust at her having the AUDACITY to reject him) then it's not a stretch to assume that it'd be considered an insult in the TOS Vulcan society to NOT choose Stonn as her champion after a prior agreement. Anyway T'Pring was a woman in an impossible situation within a society which saw her as more of an object than a person and she wanted Stonn and Stonn wanted to be hers and she trusted that he would understand if she had to publicly pick someone else to ensure his life would be spared and he did understand.

#amok time #T'Pring i s....T'Pring she....-puts my head through a wall- #PLEASE read under the cut for my rambling about T'Pring in amok time pleasepleaseplease #tired of 'T'Pring is evil/a bitch' and VERY uninterested in 'T'Pring is a girlboss' #T'Pring is a person in a society which doesn't think she has the right to make her own choices who's in [love] with a man who [loves] her #back in what I'd like to think is implied to be a slightly subversive way in its mutual and fervent nature (whether the writers thought #this was a good or bad thing - who knows. We know better RIGHT??) #and yes I will stylize T'Pring's hair differently every single time I draw it HEHEHE #star trek tos #Spock #T'Pring #also of COURSE something something spock/kirk & stonn/t'pring parallels: To keep your beloved safe you have to force someone else to kill #theirs - not BC you hate him (you don't) but you don't love him either and why does HE get to have you even if you don't want him?? Why doe #he get to 'give' you to the person YOU chose?? It's not a hatred on a person level (which I wanted to portray with the 'brothers') portion #but a sort of societal embodying. #I will think about T'Pring not wanting to be 'the consort of a legend' every damn day !!! #They really could have laid it on thick in making her evil guys...T'Pau even makes a comment about Spock's 'vulcan blood is thin' #but all T'Pring says is that Spock is a legend and she doesn't want that for her life. She wants Stonn. #And you're gonna sit there and you're gonna tell her that she's wrong!??? Spock doesn't even want to be with her!! Why is she so hated!? #CAN WE FREE MY GIRL??? She did all that but it's being read in the worst faith possible!! #comix #bea art tag #star trek art #She literally says the word 'FREE'...she's TRAPPED!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

It actually does bother me that eating is treated like spending money - that you have an allotted allowance in the form of calories that you are supposed to budget.

"How are you spending your calories?" I'm spending them on experiences. I'm spending them on time with my community, my people, those who matter to me. I'm spending them on satiating a human need. I'm spending them on the feeling of being alive and not just living.

If there is one experience that I don't want to "pay" for, it's the basic human right of comfort, security, community, and care.

#anti diet culture #fatphobia #fatphobia tw #disordered eating tw #ed tw #(just in case) #ask to tag #if i had to choose between miserable counting and recounting and reallocating calories and... eating then i'm choosing the latter #there are absolutely health conditions which warrent the *need* to count and stay in a range #but that is entirely different than the societal pressure to be within the idea of a 'right' calorie/nutrient count #if you have a health condition which is affected by food/drink then do what you must to balance your wellness and health and happiness #there is absolutely nothing wrong with that #again that is very different than society coming in and telling you what it thinks you 'should' do about yourself #i know this sounds corny but like #does it not drive you insane to obsess over numbers if you don't have to? #does it drive you insane that you're often treated like you can't or shouldn't be permitted to just live? to ENJOY living?

[justafriendofxanders]

if xander came out as bi he would be so fucking obnoxious about it for the first few months. i think the first, like, week would be liberating in that he'd feel free from the expectations of cishet masculinity, then he would obsessively ask willow if this or that was "gay culture" and try to get into astrology only to find it dumb and be the guy who can't stop expressing how dumb he finds it. he would then have a crisis about not being appropriately gay "enough" and not fitting in with the gays but also not with the straights :((. coming out would not save this man. but it would be entertaining. for me.

#xander: maybe if i perform what society expects of a cishet man i will be okay #*is not okay* #xander: maybe if i perform what society expects of a queer man i will be okay #*is still not okay* #xander: i don't know what i'm doing wrong :(( #buffyposting #SORRY for the ceaseless xanderposting i could be normal about this if he wasn't so annoying in a way that i like but the gen fandom doesn't #xander harris

[queeraliensposts]

If y'all don't believe that transmascs experience misogyny let me tell you something that happened recently.

There was a post that was essentially making fun of "pick me gays", where they were saying that "I don't watch rupal's drag race, I don't like being called "gurl" and I don't do *insert stereotypical gay activity"". And in that post I commented that some people don't like being called "gurl" or "girl" because it makes them dysphoric and you shouldn't label them a "pick me" because of it. The responses I got for that comment were SO hostile for the sake of my mental health I had to delete the comment. Some people even tried to PURPOSELY trigger my dysphoria.

In that same post a cis man said that he prefers men who are masculine and he shouldn't be shamed for his preferences, and EVERYONE agreed with that.

If you don't see the hypocrisy IDK what to tell you.

#for the record I don't think people shouldn't have preferences #as long as you're not INSULTING people that don't fit said preferences there's nothing wrong with that #I also prefer mascs but I'm not gonna insult fems for being fem #what I am saying is that if someone saying 'please don't call me this' is more controversial to you than “I'm not attracted to these people” #you need to check your priorities #I have more right to my boundaries then you have to your dating preferences #this just proves that in a bio essentialist society people will be offended by those who are percieved as women setting their boundaries #if you are offended by a trans man saying “please don't call me girl” but you're not offended by a cis man saying “I prefer mascs” #you have some transphobia and misogyny to unpack #lgbtqia #trans #ftm #transmasc #gay #trans men #transandrophobia

[gretagator]

Chcuk McGill.... save me

#better call saul #bcs #chuck mcgill #fanart #art #never doing this again. #i swear it looks better irl #i haven't been drawing a lot lately because i don't have time and also i've been busy trying to stay alive hihi #honestly wondering if i'll ever be able to function in society lolzsjh can't even say hi back to people because it makes me feel weird. #i feel most comfortable just staring silently. and then i'll complain about feeling lonely ughggd what's wrong with me #if complaining in tumblr tags was an occupation i would be rich....

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

"mom can we have succession?"

"no we have succession at home"

succession at home:

#<- person who has not watched succession #i like to think i'm funny on occasion #mischief theatre #mischief comedy #cornley drama society #cornley polytechnic drama society #the goes wrong show #the goes wrong universe #slightly off-topic but max's face is killing me #sir what are you glaring at

[slttygeto]

I just saw someone say that criticism without empathy is bullying and I totally agree. the internet has become so obsessed with “humbling” people, commenting on their looks, bodies, way of speaking. saying shit like “post this on ig reels now”. even if you don’t necessarily agree with a person, as long as they’re just being themselves without being self centered or problematic, why go out of your way to be mean to them? I also believe in karma. just know that if youre mean to someone unprovoked, it WILL bite you back in the ass ten times harder

#this came out of nowhere but I felt like I need to say it #i am by no means perfect i fuck up too but the first step to change to #or at least get better is to acknowledge what is wrong with our society/generation nowadays #its heartbreaking seeing people gain confidence only for mean people on the internet to shatter it down #its so easy to be mean behind a screen

[garfieldonamonday]

Meltdowns, going/being non/semi verbal, extreme reactions to sensory issues. The only things that NTs know abt autism

#actually autistic #autism #autistic community #autistic experiences #being autistic #what is wrong with society for thinking this??

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

BBC Merlin is a tragedy in that Merlin's choices that were all to save Arthur's life led to Arthur's death, but that doesn't mean it was all for nothing!! The events across their 10 years together led to a new world order which eventually brought about everything they had worked towards!! PLUS THEIR RELATIONSHIP BROUGHT JOY AND MEANING TO BOTH OF THEIR LIVES!! That means something!! GUYS!! listen guys that MEANS SOMETHING!!

#it's not like game of thrones which left us with the feeling that everything is pointless #bbc merlin #merlin #it was their love for each other that brought about the new world order!! #also I feel like people haven't watched the show in a while i keep seeing people say that Merlin betrayed his own kind #HE TRIED TO HELP THEM WHENEVER HE COULD #he introduced morgana to the druids!! He protected Gilli and told him about his magic even tho he couldve betrayed him!! #it's just that he HAD to also protect himself!! it was self preservation ok! #and sure eventually protecting arthur became more important to him than anything else #but how can ya'll play/watch TLOU and be like OBV Joel would doom the world for Ellie and then turn around and be like #merlin is a traitor to his people!! he did all he could for the promise of their future!!! and he's YOUNG and he DID HIS BEST #and how many people would let their loved ones die for a vague idea of a better society #yeah I'm a merlin apologist what of it #it's just such a nuanced issue you know i'm not saying he was right but i'm not saying he was wrong either