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veggietales-shitposts · 3 years

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documenting Larry and Archibald’s relationship in every episode (1990′s)

Episode 1: “Where’s God When I’m S-Scared” (1993) - in the first-ever Silly Songs with Larry, Archibald interrupts Larry’s water buffalo song because it’s “too silly” and gets very passionate and up in his face about it. imo I think Archibald just can’t handle his feelings for this silly little cucumber and that’s his way of dealing with it.

- Larry and Archibald star alongside each other in Daniel and the Lion’s Den, where Larry plays Daniel and Archibald plays King Darius. King Darius is very fond of Daniel and proudly promotes him to be his husband second in command. King Daniel also expresses deep concern for Daniel after he is thrown into the lion’s den. I know they are both playing roles here but I don’t think the acting was that hard imo I really think this was the beginning of their relationship.

Episode 2: “God Wants Me to Forgive Them” (1994) - this episode was kinda bad and really hard to watch but here we go - Bob and Larry recall that one summer (many years ago, clearly before the first episode took place) when they owned a boat and gave people tours. Archibald (who was apparently a millionaire) was on the tour along with his wife (we’ll talk about that later). Larry crashes the boat because he’s gay and can’t drive and Archibald’s wife complains that it ruined their vacation (possibly honeymoon??). Everyone eventually forgives Larry, and Archibald is the first to claim “we still like you Larry”. - I’m pretty sure Archibald and his wife are now divorced because we never really see her in any other episodes. I think that’s also why Archibald is no longer a millionaire.

Episode 3: “Are You My Neighbor?” (1995) - In The Story of Flibber-o-loo, Larry gets shoved into the sand by the scallions. The mayor (Archibald) walks by with the doctor (Archibald’s ex-wife) and instead of stopping to help Larry they SING AND DANCE WITH EACH OTHER!? the drama!!! - this whole episode just really drives home the point of “God made everyone special” and “love your neighbor, even if they are different” so uh. yeah there’s that

Episode 4: “Rack, Shack, & Benny” (1995) - Archibald is not in this one but Larry is very silly and gay and it’s a great episode just in general

Episode 5: “Dave and the Giant Pickle” (1996) - In Silly Songs with Larry, Archibald plays the role of Larry’s therapist while Larry sings about his lips

Episode 6: “The Toy that Saved Christmas” (1996) - cute Christmas episode but nothing gay happens, moving on

Episode 7: “Silly Sing-Along” (1997) - just a sing-along of all the songs that have happened in episodes up to this point. while we don’t really establish any new relationships here I have a feeling it might set the stage for episode 11 (we’ll talk about that later)

Episode 8: “Larryboy! & the Fib from Outer Space!” (1997) - this is the first time we see Archibald playing the role of Larry’s butler, Alfred, but it’s never really established why Larry even has a butler in the first place. I mean is Larry even rich? I think it makes sense for Larryboy to have a behind-the-scenes assistant when he’s being a superhero, but a full-time, live-in butler? Personally I think it’s just a cover up for the fact that they are literally just living together. There is even a scene where Larry and Alfred are sitting next to each other on the couch playing Candy Land. Who plays board games with their butler? While sitting next to them? On the couch? - Alfred and Larry share their first fight as a couple in this episode, when Larry is supposed to be out looking for space aliens and he can’t find any and wants to give up and come home. Alfred insists there are aliens and Larry must keep looking to protect Bumblyburg, but Larry doesn’t listen and comes home - Of course the aliens attack, so Larry goes out to fight the alien only to find that Alfred has tricked out his ride “in his spare time” (a labor of love) - Alfred accidentally pulls the plug out of his computer, cutting off communication between him and Larry right before Larry is about to be eaten by the alien. Alfred becomes very emotional, screaming at his computer to reboot, but the information loads just in time to save Larry

Episode 9: “Josh and the Big Wall!” (1997) - Archibald once again interrupts Silly Songs with Larry, this time to criticize Larry’s cebu song because apparently a good old fashioned projector slideshow is not enough of a “multimedia event”. Larry is used to Archibald’s antics at this point because they live together now, ignores his interrogations, and continues the show. - Larry plays the role of Josh, and Archibald plays a commander of the Lord’s army who appears to Josh in the middle of the night. Josh falls facedown in front of the angel. There are definitely some...expressions exchanged here I mean wow like I know they are supposed to be acting in this one but again I think some of those expressions were genuine - my headcannon for this episode is also that it was performed/filmed “live.” In the beginning of the episode, Junior Asparagus helps Bob introduce the show because Larry was “tired” from the last show and they were letting him sleep in. But instead of saying “roll film,” Bob tells Junior to close his eyes and use his imagination and I think this is when they bring in the set and perform it like a play. So the expressions exchanged between Larry and Archibald are seen in real time, and Larry’s reaction to Archibald is genuine because he is actually seeing him dressed in armor, literally shining from the stage lighting instead of a special effect being added later for video. I also like to imagine that they didn’t have a dress rehearsal so they were both seeing each other in full costume/lighting for the first time.

Episode 10: “Madame Blueberry” (1998) - oh shit y’all, this is where it happens! SILLY SONGS WITH LARRY IS CANCELLED!! I am so glad I watched every episode in order because the tension, the DRAMA, everything leading up to this moment!!! - Larry is literally all dressed up, set ready and everything when Archibald interrupts his segment, letting him know *in front of everyone* that it has been cancelled, in part due to what happened last time. Archibald even leaves poor Larry in a freaking bear trap for crying out loud, replacing his segment with Love Songs with Mr. Lunt which has some serious 80′s vibes

Episode 11: “Silly Sing-Along 2: The End of Silliness?” (1998) - alright here we go folks the climax of the season - the episode opens with Larry sitting at a diner during a storm, having nightmares recalling Archibald’s criticism of Larry’s cebu song and cancellation of Silly Songs with Larry. The server notices Larry crying and asks him what’s the matter. Larry replays the cebu song on the jukebox and then cries about it to the server. - Archibald enters wearing a trenchcoat that hides his face and carrying a briefcase. He is followed by his ex-wife. Archibald turns around, keeping his face hidden, and sees Larry crying but Larry does not notice him. - the server, unable to cheer Larry up, asks him again what’s wrong and Archibald finally reveals himself. Archibald and Larry share some very dramatic looks. Archibald plays the clip of him cancelling Silly Songs with Larry, followed by Love Songs with Mr. Lunt. - Archibald admits fault for Larry’s disposition while also trying to explain himself. He then reveals what’s in the briefcase: a petition from Larry’s fans to bring back Silly Songs with Larry. Archibald, overcome with feelings for Larry, hops up onto the counter to passionately declare his feelings reinstate Silly Songs with Larry. Once again the expressions exchanged between these two are just priceless.

Episode 12: “Larryboy and the Rumor Weed” (1999) - In the season finale of the millennium, Larry and Archibald are now back together, as Archibald once again plays Larryboy’s husband “live-in butler,” Alfred. But the drama is not over yet! - After Larryboy defeats a bandit, Larry invites Alfred out on a date for pizza to celebrate. Alfred says he would love to, but politely declines as he will be volunteering at the local elementary school the following morning. Larry smiles wistfully at the thought of his husband helping out at the school and they share a tender exchange of “goodnights”. - The evil rumor weed overhears this exchange and becomes jealous of their gay happiness and decides to start a rumor that Alfred is a dangerous homosexual robot - Larry and Alfred, blissfully unaware of this rumor, are seen gardening together the following morning. When they find out about the weeds (still unaware of the rumor), Alfred is very excited to help Larry because it involves gardening. You can also see some drawings of the background of their house and one of them is a rainbow. - Larryboy goes underground to fight the mother weed and loses contact with Alfred. They both freak out and Alfred goes to save his husband on his gay little European scooter. - Alfred is attacked by an angry mob because he’s a dangerous homosexual robot and seized by the rumor weed, who then turns into a flower after the townspeople decide he is not dangerous, but actually a nice man. Larryboy crawls out of the sewer and reunites with his love for all to see.

for the early 2000′s episodes click here

#gonna keep updating this as I watch all of the episodes in order #veggietales #larry the cucumber #archibald asparagus #larry x archie

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covermeinclouds · 2 years

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i just finished watching gilmore girls including the reboot and here are my final thoughts on the whole thing:

i get distracted too easily and i get way too bored too fast so i don't watch a lot of shows that last 40 minutes an episode. i can only count by hand how many shows i've seen that last that long with more than 4 seasons. gilmore girls was supposed to be a show i'd put on when i don't really wanna watch anything but want to watch something if that makes sense. but i ended up falling in love with the show and finding the home-y type of comfort in it. it's as if i watch an episode just to "go home."

dean forester was my absolute favorite boyfriend even if he had some things about him that i didn't like. dean forester is exactly the guy you want to meet when you want to settle down. he's exactly who you want to be with when you grow older. i think rory said something along the lines of that when she saw dean again in the reboot. (non-verbatim) "you taught me how it feels to be safe." that is exactly why i was rooting for him. cause i'm 24 and have already had a jess mariano in my life to know that dean is exactly the person rory should want

but rory was going to be a teenager. and, yes, even the most book smart people get tempted over guys who are assholes to everyone else but you. it's the trope we all want and root for to succeed. but as expected, they were 17(or was it 18?) and had shit to figure out and jess had stuff in his life he needed to deal with which resulted to mistreating rory (which isn't an excuse but he learned along the way)

didn't like that dean cheated on lindsay for rory. didn't like that he lied to rory to get her to sleep with him either. and that he really probably wouldn't have told lindsay if he didn't get caught.

at first, i was only annoyed at lindsay because of her approach when rory spoke to her in the hockey game. but then again, she is somebody's girlfriend. and even if she was annoying, she didn't deserve to be cheated on. she didn't deserve to marry a guy who was slurring his ex girlfriend's name the night before the wedding. she didn't deserve any of that.

i love dean. season 1 and season 2 dean. i love him.

but GOD THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP. THAT WAS SO NOT RORY

i loved when rory finally got to yale. i mean yeah she did more stupid things and it got really fucking annoying to watch her fuck shit up. but i guess it just got real.

when rory dropped out of yale because of one negative comment about her. might have been an overreaction, but i do get her.

also it screamed privilege for her to just drop out

i loved when shit got real on gilmore girls

justice for tristin. he should have had a bigger role. he should have had more time on gilmore girls. i liked him.

i didn't like logan at first. but overall, he really loved rory. when rory wanted to cut the casual dating and he stepped up and said he'll be her boyfriend, he really was. i didn't like that he slept with someone else when they "broke up" but he didn't know they weren't broken up cause rory hadn't spoken to him in weeks. she should have at least clarified it with him.

but why did he sleep with someone else

ANYWAY HAHAHAHHA logan really did love rory and took care of her. always picked her up when she was about to crumble. rory's first adult relationship. they were each other's best friend. even in the reboot. even if that was fucked up. he shouldn't have done that.

i wanted so badly for lorelai and christopher to work out. i've been a lorelai and luke shipper the whole time ok jsyk since people have been trying to tell lorelai that luke likes her and she denies it. i only wanted lorelai and christopher to work out because he's always been in love with her. even when he didn't have his shit together. even when they were kids.

but i hated when they finally got married and everything was so off and christopher was talking shit about luke even if he was the one who slept with his fiance.

of course, it takes two to tango. it wasn't all that good on lorelai's side either. she wasn't all that innocent. but im glad instead of letting luke marry her, she told him that she slept with christopher and called it all off.

richard and emily gilmore reminded me so much of my mom. yes, my mom only. their elitist ways and condescending tone to people who don't make as much money or who isn't in their circle was such a trigger for me.

the way emily and lorelai were together, that was the tip of the ice berg for me and my mom. i felt lorelai to the core whenever she'd pull out wiseass comments whenever emily spoke. "ah, just like mother and i" i'd tell myself. the urge to want to rebel against your mother. of course, my mother was much worse. i was a rebel with a cause.

nonetheless, i did like that they tried with lorelai and rory. that they had these scheduled friday night dinners. that they wanted to help out whenever and however they could. i was envious and wanted that for me so bad.

there were no small characters in the whole show. it didn't matter if they had 10 seconds of screen time in each episode. you'd remember who they were and what they said.

gilmore girls is the kind of show you'd really want the subtitles on for. you'd want to catch up with all the chaos. most of the show is dialogue. so you'd really want to catch on. well, at least, i did. it made me feel like i was there. like i was a part of it.

best character development throughout the show was lane's mom, mrs. kim. she was still her the ever loving strict, asian mom we all so love and are familiar with. but even when lane finally stood up for herself, she couldn't completely cut her off.

from helping out lane's band get their first tour to helping zack propose to lane by shaping him into a man worthy of lane in her eyes.

it's like she finally understood that she can't control lane and what she does and what she'll like. but she can still be the mother she is to the daughter lane is. they could be themselves and be in each other's lives. but of course, it was fun seeing lane hide all her cds under the floorboards of her room and sneaking around to try to get to talk to boys. that was cute. stressful to watch. but cute.

now, to paris gellar, my favorite character in the whole show. even if she was so fucking annoying in the first seasons. i loved that she ended up befriending rory for real. she knew rory was her only equal. everyone else, for her, were idiots. she basically dropped her friends and kept rory. but let's face it, her friends tolerated her. rory actually understood paris. let her live the way paris knew how to live. became her friend. they lived together! they never left each other's side

and idk paris is just really fucking funny without trying to be. her interview at harvard was so funny even if it was the reason she didnt get in but it was so funny cause paris has one type of tone when she speaks to anyone.

jess' character development was great, too. i loved that they still gave him a few episodes in the later seasons to show that he wasn't still just some punk. that was probably the only time i got on team jess. he treated rory like shit before ok. who says i love you and storms off and never says anything again what the fuck

i love the small town love. i love the small town life. i have never wanted to move to a small town in the middle of autumn so bad

also, i hated when lorelai cheated on luke by sleeping with christopher the same night they "broke up" (im not sure if it was a break up at all but goddamn it was barely a day) i hated how she dated christopher and married him and let him move in to her house THE ONE THAT LUKE HAD RENOVATED FOR THEIR MARRIED LIFE. ICK

GILMORE GIRLS REBOOT REACTION:

i cried the first 10 minutes of winter. bursted into tears when lorelai said "i smell snow"

i was just waiting for everybody to appear. i love that everyone was there. the thing with reboots/spin offs, sometimes, shows struggle to get every single person on-board with the reboot. (im just salty over the olsen twins not being in fuller house, the full house spin off) so this was refreshing.

also, every time i watch old shows, i always want a spin off showing how this show could have been if it were made in the age of smart phones and netflix. and i got just that

MY FAVORITE THING IS THAT LUKE STILL USES THE SAME CELLPHONE HE BOUGHT WHEN HE STARTED DATING LORELAI. ONLY REMINDS YOU THAT HE ONLY BOUGHT IT FOR LORELAI AND HOW HE NEVER NEEDED TO UPGRADE CAUSE HE HAD HER ALREADY

rory having 3 phones and the old flip phone that only works in stars hollow cause apparently you can't get reception there???

luke not giving out the actual password to the wifi in the diner. classic

and jess unplugging the router. classic

really wish we could have seen more of jess, of course. like is he dating anyone???? or will the show always just project that he is always going to be somewhat available for rory?

my favorite thing is that luke always has the last word about rory to jess. like he knows how deep it is for jess. how deep it's buried in him. and he lets jess react however he likes even if he knows

having an update on kirk's life was my absolute favorite thing???????????

i cried during emily grieving over richard's death (rip ed herrmann) the way it hit her. THE WAY IT HIT HER. IT COMPLETELY CHANGED HER LIFE. most of this reboot was truly about emily moving on from her life with richard. it wasn't even just like she was trying to move on. it was because her old life just didn't make sense without richard

that part when she puts a tv in the lounge????? what the fuck? i mean yeah it's a living room it should have a tv but????

anyway it was all too real. how emily grieved and picked up the pace of her life and just did whatever she did

the moment they mentioned the gazette was closing, i knew rory would take the job. i mean duh obviously. she's in between EVERYTHING no job no idea what to do MIGHT AS WELL

logan still being around and cheating on his fiance with rory what the fuck????? that's so fucked up

the last hurrah with logan and his friends cheering up rory and WITH A LITTLE HELP OF MY FRIENDS STARTED PLAYING. THE ACROSS THE UNIVERSE VERSION. IT WAS EXACTLY A REFERENCE TO THAT PART OF THAT MOVIE. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. THE PART WHERE THEY WERE ALL GOLFING FROM THE TOP OF THE BUILDINGS???? IVY LEAGUE SHIT

but she really had to cut him off. it just wasn't right anymore

and JESS GIVING HER THE IDEA TO WRITE A BOOK????? I MEAN THE IDEA FROM A WRITER HIMSELF FUCK YES????

THE LAST PART. I ABSOLUTELY LOST MY SHIT WHEN LORELAI DID THE SEAN PARKER FROM THE SOCIAL NETWORK REFERENCE. "DROP THE 'THE'. IT'S CLEANER" FUCKING HELL I LOST MY FUCKING SHIT

gilmore girls is full of references. the whole fucking show. it truly is a show you'd need to watch with google on standby. it's somewhat educational with all the pop culture shit.

anyway, this whole show felt like a hug. i loved every bit of it. i wish i could watch it with brand new eyes. i tried stretching it as much as i could. but i just couldn't stop watching once i'd start. i watched it along when red (taylor's version) came out. and the vibe was so perfect. it was all autumn and winter vibes and i loved it so so so much.

#pers

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writethelifeyouwant · 4 years

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Dive Bar, Ch. 4/?

Pairing: Dean x Sam, Dean x OFC (Dany) x Sam (previous chapters)

Rating: 18+

Prompt/Summary: @spnkinkbingo square - Gay Panic (eventually, I don’t know how to write short things, so the gay panic comes later). Dany and Dean hit it off at a bar and Dean is confident it’s a sure thing. But Dean doesn’t know that Dany’s has a dare to complete, and he definitely didn’t imagine his night would end with his pull inviting his little brother to come home with them too.

WC: 2262

Warnings: angstttt, mentions of incest, brother/brother incest, mentions of blow jobs

Beta: my enabler - @negans-lucille-tblr 😘😘

Chapter 3

***

At their next stop off, for a dinner that was slightly more substantial than their gas station lunch, they still weren’t talking. There was nothing to talk about besides what Dean resolutely refused to address, so Sam stuck to his silent treatment.

Sam wasn’t sure why he wanted Dean to talk about the previous night so badly. If Dean turned around and asked him how he felt about what went down, he wouldn’t have a good answer. It was probably unfair of him to expect Dean, of all people, to be able to process it if not even Sam could. Okay, it was definitely unfair, Sam thought to himself. But in true little brother fashion, there was no way he was about to own up to that.

Why did he have to make it such a big deal? Like Dean said, so they banged the same chick, so what?

But that’s not all you did, that voice in Sam’s head pushed in again. You blew your big brother. Looked the man in the eye, the man who practically raised you, then sucked his cock down your throat. What the hell made you think that was a good play?

Dean had enjoyed it though, hadn’t he? It definitely sounded like he had. But how does that make it better, Sam, seriously?

It does, he argued with himself. It does because if he enjoyed it too then it’s not just me that’s screwed to all hell.

Dean could tell Sam was up in his head, obsessing over the night before. And the longer Sam stayed quiet, the more Dean worried about what he might be thinking about it. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what they’d done last night wasn’t normal. Wasn’t good. Except it was. It had been so fucking good he’d felt the ghost of Sam’s fingers and lips on his dick every time he had the misfortune to think about it again. And that had been a lot. That’s why you did the right thing shutting Sam up earlier, he reminded himself. Not the time to be popping random boners like a teenager. But the silence was making him self conscious as fuck.

Once he’d made it through his burger, Dean pulled out his phone and started cold calling hunters, asking around for any leads in the midwest. They got a dime about a string of mysterious deaths about 100 miles south; violent and fairly improbable deaths. Very distracting. Thank god.

The Impala was a little less tense now that they had a problem to solve. Their voices sounded a little less strained when they ran through the typical gamut of supernatural evil that could be causing all the mayhem they were driving for.

When they made it into town, it was late enough that most reputable establishments would have been annoyed with them trying to get a room at that hour. Luckily, they didn’t stay in many reputable establishments, and the motel Dean pulled up next to didn’t bat an eyelid when two guys walked in with next to no luggage and wanted to pay in cash. They saw that a lot.

Right now, Dean wasn’t wild about what they must have thought they were there for, and his insides were screaming out - Not here to fuck, I swear! Just your standard monster hunt. Nothing to see here. Not brothers sleeping with each other, that’s for sure. But as he couldn’t reasonably set the record straight, Dean left it, and strode back to the car to grab his duffle before cracking into their motel room. Sam followed close behind, slinging his own duffle onto his chosen bed.

Exiting the bathroom after he’d gotten ready for bed, he was met with Dean holding a bottle of bourbon and wearing a conciliatory expression. Still silent, Sam nodded and accepted the glass Dean handed him a moment later.

Sam settled onto his bed, already in just his t-shirt and boxers, and sipped quietly at his drink. Dean set his glass down on the table between them and took his own turn in the bathroom. He emerged in his typical sleep gear which, Sam all of a sudden remembered, was just his boxers.

Jeez, put a shirt on. Sam tried to look anywhere other than at his very nearly naked brother, but it picked at him that if last night wasn’t a big deal, this shouldn’t bother him. It had never bothered him before. Although… Sam thought to himself. He had looked before, noticed the muscle definition, the odd freckle that hid behind the hair on Dean’s chest.

Sam gulped down nearly half the bourbon in one go in an attempt to burn that thought out of his mind as quickly as possible. That is not how little brothers look at their big brothers. That is not how he looks at Dean. It’s just because he likes guys, at the very least he likes having sex with them. That much he’d come to terms with at college. And it’s not like there’s many dating opportunities in hunting, and Dean didn’t know anything about Sam’s broader sexuality so he wasn’t about to hook up with a guy at a bar when Dean was expecting him to take home a pair of boobs; or more typically, sulk off to the impala while Dean and his guest got their motel room for the evening. Dean was just the only guy around most of the time, that’s all. And since Jess, and then hunting, it had been years since he’d had the chance to to really look at another guy like that. So yeah, he looked, because Dean was not a bad thing to look at.

But right now, Sam’s brain was at war with itself, one side wanting Dean to pull on a shirt and the sweats he’d wear when it got cold, and the other side wanting to peel off the last bit of fabric covering Dean’s skin so he could get a real look. And maybe another taste. And with that, Sam downed the rest of his drink, flicked off the table lamp, and quickly tucked himself under the covers with Dean at his back, who was left to stare blankly at a lump of blankets and messy hair, his full glass of whisky in his hand.

Even though they’d driven a fair bit south of where they’d been yesterday, the grass still crunched under his boots when Sam trod across it the next morning. He’d already been out for a short run, and arrived back at the motel to find an empty room, with Dean presumably out looking for food. Sam settled himself with his laptop on a picnic table and rebooted the pages he’d had open the previous night at dinner when they started looking into this case. He brought up a new window to look into a thought he’d had on his run earlier.

“This is a crappy park.” Dean arrived with their coffee and shoved a paper cup towards Sam, which he took gratefully.

Sam chuckled incredulously when he looked up to his brother, attention momentarily drawn away from his laptop screen. “The park is fine, Dean.”

“No swings. You gotta have swings in a park.” Dean shoved half his donut into his mouth.

Sam fixed him with an admonishing stare for a moment before letting out his amusement in a sharp exhale. “Okay, sure.”

“The swings were always your favourite. You don’t remember that?” Sam shook his head puzzledly. “Yeah,” Dean huffed in the way he does. “When you were a rugrat I couldn’t pull you off those things. Said it felt like flying.”

Sam stared at him for a moment with something behind his eyes that Dean couldn't work out. He ran out of time to try; Sam’s hair fell back in front of his eyes when he looked down to his laptop again.

“Hey, so, get this. I’ve been looking into the local lore and I think our victims -”

“How do you have wifi right now?” Dean asked through a mouthful of the other half of his donut.

“Phone hotspot. Want to focus for a second, Dean? People are, you know, dying here.”

“Yeah yeah,” Dean grumbled. And he tried to focus on what Sam was saying about the creature that might be hanging out in the woods that he ran by that morning, Dean swore he was trying. But deciding to focus on Sam’s lips as a means to concentrate on the words that were coming out of them proved to be a thoroughly misguided strategy. Because the second he looked at Sam’s lips all he could think about was what they had looked like wrapped around his cock. What they’d felt like dragging across his skin. When Sam’s tongue flicked out to catch a drop of coffee that had beaded on the rim of the cup, Dean’s own tongue went dry, his breath caught in his throat.

What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole? Dean hoped his distress wasn’t showing on his face. It seemed like he was doing a decent job at convincing Sam he was listening, because Sam was still talking. This was really gonna bite him in the ass later if he had no clue what Sam was saying this whole time.

Maybe you want Sam to bite you in the ass? Fuck, no, stop it. Dean was used to arguing back and forth with some semblance of a moral compass, though it usually lost, but this time he needed it to win. He had just been sitting there remembering how he used to push a little Sammy on the swings when he was squirt sized. Jumping from that, to wanting him to suck you off does not make you a good brother. Know what it makes you? An asshole. He was supposed to protect Sammy, take care of him, not take care of him.

“Dean,” Sam’s voice saying his name cut through the noise in his head, and he looked up at his little brother. He hadn’t realised he’d been scrubbing his hands across his face, no wonder Sam was looking at him like a sad puppy right now. “You okay, dude?” There was a hint of annoyance but it was mostly concern.

“Yeah,” Dean blinked and ran his fingers up over his face to scrub through his hair. “Totally awesome.”

“Okay, well,” Sam didn't seem convinced, but maybe he wasn’t in the mood to push it. “Let’s go get our fed suits on and head over there.”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” Dean swung off the picnic bench and crumpled his coffee in one hand, tossing it to the nearest trash can. Sam snickered when it bounced off the rim, and flung his own to the same can from further back, landing it dead centre. Smirking, he set off with his laptop under his arm and Dean pulling faces behind him the whole walk back to the motel.

“Where we heading again?”

The glare Sam gave him made it clear he wouldn’t be getting an answer.

By the time they’d made it to the local bar and restaurant that evening to grab some food and scrutinise the local wildlife for signs of supernatural proclivities, Sam was seriously confused. Dean had been acting off the whole day. And not just in the typical evasive act he pulled when he didn’t want to talk about his feelings, he was spacing out of conversations about perfectly mundane things. Witnesses had started getting annoyed with him after the third time he asked the same question Sam had literally seconds beforehand. When they’d been let into the room of one of the victims, a girl about their age - just out of college, he hadn’t made any jokes about her extensive stuffed animal collection (those bears were freakin’ everywhere man), or the vibrator not so skilfully hidden down the side of her bed. When Sam had switched the music in the car, no warning and no asking for permission, Dean hadn’t batted an eyelid. And Sam had changed it to smooth jazz.

Now Sam was standing, bewildered, by a barrel serving as a table that he’d been about to sit down at, because when he’d grab Dean’s shoulder to direct him towards the one empty table in the vicinity of the bar, Dean had broken his grip so fast you’d have thought Sam had insulted their mother. Dean came back from the bar with two beers and some menus, dropping all of them unceremoniously onto the barrel-top, and that’s when Sam noticed.

This was the first time Dean had taken off his fed jacket all day and now he was rolling up his sleeves and loosening his tie, unwinding from the persona and his bracelets were gone. This was the weird thing to end all the weird things that Dean had done all day. Since Sam had given Dean those stupid bracelets nearly a decade ago, he couldn’t remember a single day when Dean wasn’t wearing them.

It wasn’t like they were valuable or anything. It was wooden craft store beads and elephant-hair cord that Sam had strung together at a summer camp when he was twelve. And he’d been embarrassed to give them to Dean when he got home, wondered why he thought Dean would want some lame homemade souvenir, but Dean had coaxed the presents out of Sam, and insisted that he loved them. And that was that, they’d been on his wrists ever since. But not today. Sam’s lungs deflated.

Fuck.

***

Tags: @negans-lucille-tblr @hawkerz12 @babybrotherandthedemon @dylansbabygirl24 @mineshinamary @popsensationnicole23 @spn-problems @donthateme454 @doyouknowsamw @peridottea91@delightfulbakeryaliendeputy @fictionallemons @petitgateau911 @natastic @marvelfansworld @delightfullykrispypeach @akshi8278 @crashlyrose @miufel @lyarr24 @itsthedoctah10 @kiss-my-peachy-arse @leftlokiofpuppy @tftumblin @devilsbby @alice101macwil @caitlinvd @j-ai-adore-dean @disneysloot @half-closeted-bi-girl @deandreamernp

#dive bar #sam x dean #dean x sam #wincest #early season wincest #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #spnfic

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randbwrite · 3 years

Text

La Comtesse Chronicles Chapter 4 Part 1

Words: 1649

TW: None CW: Vampires

A bow went to Comtesse for her compliment made. There was certainly more to him than would meet the eye, as Cal had found out firsthand. Several times over, now, the two of them locked eyes and all of the questions burning bright in emerald eyes settled at last. Heh, for the moment. He could see a build up of new ones coming, something Cal almost never seemed to run out of. That and jokes.

Eyes widened as he tumbled off the rafter, only to have one of his hands stuck to a wooden support beam. Cringing as she heard him scream, she looked him over as he spoke.

<<Afraid killin' ya was a one-time deal, ma'am. You'll find me as harmless as a lamb. Oy, Derrick! Tell me you’re seeing this too? Even if you’re not, humor me. Please?>>

"Well then, suppose that means I can take you out of here alive. Now, let go." Her eyes flashed as she floated up to him, gently catching him in her arms. The power of persuasion was something all pure bloods had, though she rarely needed to use it. It was called for here, as he likely had no idea of how to use his powers. A laugh left her as she held onto him and began to slowly float down towards Derrick.

“Ah, so that’s his name. Glad to meet you, Derrick. Cal, my name is Rosaline Arcanum, though I suppose you know that already. I’m a pure blood vampire. It would appear that I accidentally sired you on the battlefield. Seems you are already exhibiting powers. Never seen anyone with the ability to hold onto things like that before. Suppose there’s a first for everything. Reminds me a bit of Spiderman. Suppose you might be at this point, minus the whole web shooting thing.”

Shoes clicked on the marble floor, yet she left him suspended in the air just about a foot above the floor. “Let’s take a look at you, shall we?” Eyes roved over his form before she tenderly touched his hand. Eyes glowed for a second and it flashed in her mind: more recent memories of what had been taking place.

Glancing at Derrick, she spoke quietly, “Thank you for keeping him alive. Rare to see someone know what to do with a newly turned vampire. Though, I imagine you know a fair bit more than first impressions give rise to.”

Turning her gaze back to Rapscallion, she sighed, “I’m going to lay this out for you. Apologies if it upsets you or makes you question your sanity any more than you already have. You were exposed to my blood on the battlefield. This is why you are still alive, as no normal mortal could have survived the injuries I gave you. The reason that I’m still alive is because of what I am. It’s almost impossible to kill one of my kind, though I have done it, and will again if it’s called for.

Vampires, both pure bloods, and lesser vampires, such as yourself, develop specific abilities. Yours seems to be grabbing onto things with just your skin, and…. The other is a bit difficult to discern. It’s hard to tell from your memories if it’s super speed or if you are teleporting, but either way, you are ending up places you shouldn’t be. Suppose you will figure it out eventually. One of the powers I possess is telekinesis, hence why I can float or fly, and is why you are still swimming in the air presently. I’m also a telepath, so I can basically get into your head and see what I want to… for the most part. I only saw the most recent things out of respect and to deal with things as quickly as possible.

Now, you, as a lesser vampire have a choice. You can start drinking blood to live, or you can wither away and die. You haven’t healed yet because you haven’t fed. The other choice you have here is whether you will leave this place with me. No harm will come to you if you decide to come live in my castle with me, though the residents probably aren’t too thrilled with this prospect. Or, you are welcome to stay here. You have till we get to what remains of the front doors to decide. And by the way, your friend can see this perfectly fine, just seems to not be phased by it from what I can tell.” Her laughter rang out and echoed through the space, the vaulted ceilings serving as the best acoustics.

B: Derrick:

Derrick watched, impassive through the fall, the nudge of mind and manipulation of matter, her explanation fitting with what he knew so far. What was of more interest was noting how Cal took it all. Had he not been supported via telekinesis, the red head would’ve needed to sit down. Or fallen, a second time. He’d flinched, a momentary tick of a muscle in his jaw the only tell, but Derrick knew. Involuntary touch had never been a kindness. It was this time, and he wished so badly to tell him that...however some things could only be learned through personal experience.

“So...I’m a superhero! Yahoooo that’s sweet!!”

Out of all the reactions one might’ve expected...that wasn’t on the list. Superhero? What was that? Cal had better not be pulling phrases from his hometown for 400 again. Yes, Derrick’s picked up a few. This must mean Cal’s survival mechanisms were back up and running again. That was good. They’d have to discuss the humane sourcing of human blood so he wouldn’t be internally freaking out all the while with that same silly smile on his face. Derrick had gotten good at seeing the small tells, but that didn’t mean he’d catch everything.

Rapscallion:

Spiderman?! How does she know about Spiderman!?? Too cool!!! There was definitely some internal happy dancing going on, external movement forgone for some deep thinking. The reference was kind of like a reboot, reviving the part of him that was the kid who always caused trouble, trying to bring about a laugh. And my but she had some beautiful laughter! He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard such lovely peals resounding in these blood-soaked halls.

Yeah, he’d focus on that and let the other stuff percolate for a sec. Testing out the extent of this hold seemed like a lotta fun too! He sat, finding it comfortable to hover in a kicked back position with one leg crossed over the other, fingers folded in his lap. Totally not trying to hide how they were trembling or anything. Fight or flight response; a difficult thing when it’s not actionable and can’t be switched off.

“Does that mean I’m an X-Men now? Ohhhh hey! You’re totally Professor X! Except way hotter. Hey, Derrick ol’ boy, don’t give me that look! You’ve gotta be thinking it too. Oh right, I forgot. You’d use words like, ‘Her elegance and pulchritude are unrivaled by anything my eyes have beheld before, or will hence.’ Am I right?”

Cal was lost to a laughing fit, great way to let off nervous energy, while Derrick raised an amused eyebrow...trying unsuccessfully to remain impassive.

“Just because some of us have class...”

“Who’re you calling uncivilized?”

“If the boot fits?”

“I’ll show you just where this boot fits, you overgrown Boy Scout!”

The banter between the two was that of old friends, though before now that would not have been a title they’d have flaunted. Which reminded him—before Derrick could get in another repartee, Cal was off with a question.

“Hold up hold up. You have got a lotta names, sweets. Is there one you prefer to go by? Also, do ya really mean it? I—,“ he swallowed thickly, a vulnerable expression no one had seen on Cal’s face since he was a lad...or sleeping, though Derrick would never speak of it...not quite being shuttered quickly enough to be missed. “I can go with you? You-you’re not going to leave me here?”

And he was back to the boy, remembering the day he’d first walked into the Citadel and discovering there was no way out. Not permanently. Would transforming into a kickass superhero by the supreme X-...er, Woman do the trick? Was she bluffing? Another overly confident royal who had it in their head they could defy the assassins? Derrick seemed to believe her, and that usually took some doing. Course he was also making gaga eyes at her, so his judgement might be suspect, but seeing as how Derrick had never looked at a woman that way...least far as Cal knew...maybe there was something real there. Not just another cruel joke.

It was a gamble, or seemed to be. But after the last week? Er...make that over a decade...it was one he was willing to take. Besides! “Shouldn’t let the big guy out of my sight anyway, always getting himself into trouble, he is.”

Technically that was true of both of them. Derrick sticking his neck out for people he shouldn’t, even those around the Citadel who refused to see him as a human being, and Cal, constantly stirring things up...for good or bad.

“How do you propose we get out of here? Nearest window? Need a bodyguard? I know I don’t look like much right now, and you can float an’ all, but there’s gonna be a whole passel of people ticked off you’ve invaded their home.”

The glance at Derrick revealed the man still didn’t look perturbed. Amused, yes. Pensive or concerned, not even the slightest. Okay, so...vampires, floaty people, an entire Citadel full of assassins, and nothing was bothering him? Sheesh, he’d like to know where the man found his chill. Again, vampires?!? Course, this one was really hot...

#cw: vampires #vampires #ikemen vampire #whump #whumpfic #dark fantasy #fanfiction #oc #derrick #rapscallion #comtesse #au #assassin

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hollowistheworld · 3 years

Note

hello this is an opportunity to scream into the void about the kobayashi maru test (if you would like ofc no pressure)

I have so many opinions about the Kobayashi Maru, considering how little we actually know about it canonically.

Let me start by saying I am throwing out whatever the hell the reboot movie was doing with it because yes, that is cheating, actually. That’s like if you were supposed to pass a physical fitness test and you snuck in the night before and replaced all the weights with balloons. You’re missing the point.

The Kobayashi Maru is basically the trolley problem, and everyone who ever writes about it is just as obnoxious as everyone I’ve ever seen talk about the trolley problem - the point is not to ‘beat’ it. If you’re complaining that you would simply not have allowed those people to be on the tracks you don’t know how a thought experiment works. You have two options. Pull the lever or don’t. That’s it.

The Kobayashi Maru test is always portrayed in Star Trek as this weird... humbling thing. Like Starfleet academy is fucking with their cadets before sending them off to be like ‘Ha! A final you have to fail! This’ll teach you to be a cocky bastard!’ And that’s not the point. At all. Like the trolley problem, it’s a morality test. It’s not trying to teach cadets that sometimes you can’t win - I’m sure Starfleet wouldn’t complain about their cadets figuring that out at this point, but they’re not going to have that realization over an ultimately harmless simulation. There’s no way to win the Kobayashi Maru because it’s a psychological test intended to give an idea of what you, as a captain, will do in a no-win scenario. Will you follow protocol and protect your ship and crew, leaving the other ship to almost certainly die? Or will you risk your own life, the lives of your people, and potentially jeopardize your career for the chance of saving that other ship? You can’t save the Kobayashi Maru in either situation because if you could there’d be a way to ‘pass’ the test and it’d throw off the whole thing. (The way Saavik reacts to the test in WoK suggests that there’s a general culture in Starfleet to not talk about the test, otherwise everyone would already know it was unbeatable, but presumably some people at least know the gist.)

We’re never told exactly how Kirk beat the test, other than he ‘changed the conditions of the test’ and he took it multiple times. So here’s my theory (which all the Star Trek writing gods together won’t pry out of my hands):

1. Kirk takes the test the first time. He was a giant nerd with few (if any) friends at the academy and likely went in completely blind. He tries to save the Kobayashi Maru, fails.

2. Kirk, too stubborn to even consider there might not be a way to get all parties involved home safely, thinks on it for a while and asks to take the test again. He’s allowed to because, like I said, it’s a psychological test. If you change your answer (or don’t) after a bad result, that gives an indication into what kind of leader you’ll be in a real life scenario.

3. Kirk tries something new. And I mean really new. Something the computer program giving the simulation doesn’t have a response for. So he basically just errors out and fails again, because whatever ludicrous thing he tried was so far out there that the simulation didn’t even let him try it. (Ever play a video game and you can’t do something because you need, like, a hammer, even though you have a wrench in your inventory that would work just as well? Like that.)

4. So now Kirk is really getting stubborn because he’s adamant that his solution could work and the simulation won’t let him try. So (because he is, remember, a giant nerd) he decides he’s just going to hack into the test and program in his solution so it will let him try. And while he’s in there he sees that there is no allowance whatsoever for winning. No code that allows the Kobayashi Maru to survive. So he says fuck it, and programs that in too.

5. He takes the test again, does his solution, and wins. The academy lets it slide, puts in new programming so now this solution won’t let you win either, and sends Kirk out to the farthest flung reaches of the galaxy because he’s clearly nuts.

So Kirk being the first to beat the Kobayashi Maru isn’t because he’s the first to be a cocky brat and try to break the test, it’s because he’s the first to try something so incredibly out of the box that the simulation doesn’t know what to do with it. He genuinely comes up with a door number three to the trolley problem instead of just going ‘well, have you considered making the trolley hit the brakes?’

Kirk’s disbelief in no-win scenarios isn’t a case of ‘I think I’m God and if you tell me there’s no way to do it I think you’re stupid’. It’s a case of ‘I’m going to keep trying until I win or it kills me because my job is to save as many people as possible’.

#Anonymous #star trek #james t kirk is not a cocky arrogant bastard #hes a man whos really good at his job #and will keep trying to find a way to win because doing anything less is unacceptable #from a moral standpoint #like the corbomite maneuver?#thats who kirk is #none of the outcomes protocol allows for are acceptable #so by god he'll make a new one or die trying

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nautiscarader · 4 years

Text

Wendip Week day 4 - same age

(Ao3)

- This is going to be the most boring holidays ever.

Dipper Pines put down the bags he's been carrying on the wooden floor of their new room, wondering if the creaking he was hearing would be the herald of their doom. But even if, the effect was nullified at once when Mabel began jumping up and down on her new bed, doing somersaults in the air, laughing and cheering.

- Oh come on, dipdop. This place ain't so bad! Come on, let's see what things are in the gift shop. - Mabel, we *live* in a gift shop now. - Dipper grumbled - And I have a feeling our grunkle would be willing to sell us...

The twins walked down the stairs (Mabel two at the time), getting used to the bizarre décor of the Mystery Shack. The modern merchandise clashed with old pictures and clearly fake paraphernalia that wouldn't lure even the most gullible of tourists.

- Man, can you believe this, Mabel? Who would believe in such things? - Dipper asked into the void, leaning against the counter. - Oh, you;d be surprised.

Dipper let out an embarrassingly high-pitched meep as someone jumped from behind the counter. The girl had long, red hair, wore a green plaid shirt, was missing one front tooth, but it somehow didn't detract from her beaming smile. It took Dipper a moment to realise he has been in Mabel's arms the whole time when she caught him, and stepped to the floor.

- Hi there! - the girl asked - You are Mr Pines' grand-kids, right? Oh man, maybe finally the borefest will end. - she kept talking, while she sat on the counter and dangled her feet, which Dipper now noticed were hidden in bizarrely huge boots. - Hi! I'm Mabel! - Wendy. Wendy Corduroy. - the girl reached her hand and fist-bumped Mabel, much to her delight. - Dipper! She knows the SECRET HANDSHAKE. - Heh, it's not very secret, isn't it? - Wendy looked at the chestnut-haired boy - And it's... Dipper?

She raised her brow, ogling him from head to toes.

- It's... it's a nickname. Anyway, - Dipper quickly changed the subject - You were talking about the, uh, clients? - Oh yeah. Lots of people fall for those. - Wait, how do you know? - Dipper inquired - Are you... working here? - Yup.

Wendy jumped to the floor and walked to the twins. She was fraction of an inch taller than them, though her oversized ushanka might have contributed to that effect.

- You are talking with Mystery's Shack best saleswoman! Mostly because I'm the only woman. - she added. - Wait, how come grunkle Stan let you? - Mabel tilted her head in confusion/ - "Grunkle"? - Wendy chuckled - What's that short for, "grumpy uncle"? - "Great uncle" actually. - Ah, makes sense. So, anyway, I asked him if I can work here to earn some cash, and he said yeah, and he was happy cos he thought he'd have to pay me only a half. So then I told him I might call the feds, and you'd have to see his face when he heard that.

Mabel and Dipper exchanged bewildered looks after the girl sputtered the entire history seemingly in one breath. Wendy looked around and lowered her voice.

- Between you and me, I think your grunkle has some serious skeletons in his closet. Or maybe the basement.

She jumped in place, and as she landed, the three heard a faint echo, just like when Dipper put down their bags.

- There must be one, but I can't find an entrance. Anyway, do you guys want to take a tour around the neighbourhood? And by "neighbourhood", I mean forest. - Sure! - Mabel exclaimed - Dipper, isn't she the coolest? - Uh, y-yeah. - Dipper spoke cautiously and followed the two.

Wendy grabbed something from the counter, and as they left the building, it became obvious what did she take.

- Woah, woah, woah. - Dipper ran forward - You're not gonna tell me you will drive this. - he pointed to the golf-cart parked in front of the Mystery Shack. - Oh, you can drive, too? Cool. - Wendy spoke nonchalantly and tossed him the keys. - No, that's not what I meant-

Dipper tried to argue, but the girls were already in the car, looking at him with mischievous looks. He sighed and passed the keys back to Wendy, who, with her big boots, were just tall enough to reach the pedals. While Mabel was singing some silly song, Dipper was saying his last prayer, but he quickly realised he might have underestimated Wendy's abilities.

The three drove into the forest, down the old, beaten paths, and the two city kids were suddenly engulfed by the untamed, serene nature that surrounded them. The sounds of birds chirping, leaves rustling and the distant roar of waterfalls created ambience they only heard in documentary films. And with the sudden rush of clean air came the oxygen shock, and Dipper couldn't stop himself from speaking his mind.

- Wow, Wendy, this is...

He looked to his left and saw the same girl, whose long hair now flowed with the air, while her face and her green eyes were partially obscured by the flickering shadows of the nearby trees. Words got stuck in his throat, and only one came out.

- ...beautiful. - Yeah, it's nice around here. - she answered nonchalantly. - It gets weird when the trolls come from the mountains.

Dipper blinked.

- I'm sorry, what? - Yeah, they are a pain in the behind, but they're not that bad, unless you know how to handle them. And then there are the unicorns, those are jerks, but again, they stay in their glades. Man-bats can be weird, they get rebooted every season anyway, so as far as monster go, they are not that bad, and then there's-

Suddenly, Dipper gripped Wendy's shoulders and turned her towards him, the sheer horror on his face.

- THERE ARE MONSTERS HERE?! - Woah, Dipper, don't do that, or I'll ran into- - A TREE!

Mabel screamed and Wendy slammed the brake pedal, just as they were about to crash into a mighty tree. But only thanks to her reflexes, the car stopped, making only the tiniest contact with the tree that arose in front of them.

- Oh, geez, oh geez, Wendy, I'm so sorry, are you-are you okay? Mabel? What about you?

But neither of the girls reacted to Dipper's questions, staring at the obstacle they nearly ran into. And when Dipper followed their sight, he realised why. There was now a hole in the tree. Not a round one, not one caused by any of the parts of the golf-cart, but a rectangular, precisely cut one, and the door it was hidden behind hang onto the only remain hinge.

- Woah, guys, we found a treasure!

Wendy eagerly jumped out of the cart and crawled onto the mask, her hand already diving into the hidden compartment.

- We-Wendy, be careful there might be some rabid animal there-

Dipper alerted Wendy, who, from the looks on her face, already found something inside.

- Guys, there's some mechanism here!

The red-head eagerly pushed the button inside, and Dipper once more let out a faint meep when he felt that ground underneath him began moving, uncovering another obscured hole, this time underneath thick, metal sliding door. Mabel and Wendy rushed to the spot, but this time, they let out disappointing sighs.

- Eh? A book? Come on, I expected a treasure chest!

But this time Dipper reached for the old, brown-red book as quickly as Wendy jumped up the tree before. The corners were encased in golden metal that once probably shone brightly, but years have made that shine obscured underneath the thick layer of dust. The center of the book's cover was an outline of six-fingered hand as well as number "3", and there was a magnifying glass attached to it on a string.

With trembling hands, Dipper opened it, worrying the book might crumble to dust, but to his surprise and amazement, the book was in almost immaculate state, sans the yellowish tint the once-white pages have acquired.

As he shuffled through the pages, Wendy and Mabel leaned over his shoulders, and with each new hand-made drawings, their curiosity deepened, though only one of the three knew what Dipper might be holding in his hands.

- Holy smokes, guys! - Wendy exclaimed - I think this is some sort of guide to all the monsters and weirdness that happens around here. - she nudged Dipper in his arm - Dude, if you didn't distract me, we would have never found this. - Y-Yeah. - Dipper replied with a equally ecstatic smile - And-and it looks like some pages are written in a code, look!

He opened the book and pointed to a series of mysterious signs that looked random, but upon further inspection were clearly written with some thought in mind.

- Guys, this might be something really big! - Dipper cheered - I thought we might get bored to death here, but-

Suddenly, Dipper remembered why he nearly made Wendy crash their cart.

- Wait, Wendy, did you mention "monsters"? - Oh yeah, the woods are chock full of them. - Wendy shrugged - Like manotaurs, giant ducks, and... - CORDUROY!

The three turned their head around as a new voice reached them. Dipper nearly dropped the mysterious book when a creature from the very same drawing he was looking at materialised itself in front of them, together with dozens of its spike-hatted brethren.

- ...gnomes. - Wendy spoke in disgust and spat - What do you want, you jerks? - We told you not to come here - one of the gnomes spoke - Not after your father tore down our forest. - Ugh. - Wendy rolled her eyes - He is a lumberjack, what else was he supposed to do? - We-Wendy, maybe we should-

Dipper's concern became real when the small, inoffensive-looking gnomes suddenly gathered around, and from the mass of colourful hats, a new, humongous gnome arose, comprised of the whole pack that just a moment ago looked comical.

- Er, okay, guys, it's time to scram.

Wendy didn't have to say it twice to the twins. The three jumped into the cart and Wendy slammed her foot onto the gas, driving them back towards the Shack. Mabel and Dipper watched as the monstrous mega-gnome was left behind, and for a moment, they thought they might have escaped its wrath. But a moment later, a deafening roar shook the forest and the colossal gnome appeared from behind the trees, running after them much faster than they anticipated.

- We-Wendy! It's-it's getting closer! - Check the book! - What? - Check the book, maybe there's something in it!

Dipper and Mabel quickly opened the mysterious journal back onto the page that described the gnomes. Dipper frantically looked through the hand-written descriptions, hearing the ominous, thundering footsteps behind him.

- Er... Er... We-wendy, there's nothing about their weaknesses! - Well, we'll have to improvise. - Wendy spoke - Hold on, guys! - Ah, my hat!

Dipper reached to grab his brown hat that flew with the wind and as it collided with the mouth of the gnome it was torn into pieces.

She made a sharp turn, and the next moment the twins found that for the second time this day their cart was on a collision course, this time with something much bigger.

- We-Wendy! The water tower! - Mabel screamed, but the red-hair was already steeping out of the cart as it slowed down.

Something metallic shone onto her belt, and with a quick "Be right back", Wendy disappeared.

- Oh, great, she left us! - Dipper panicked, but Mabel pointed up. Dipper followed her, perhaps just to avert his eyes from the oncoming death.

With an axe in her hand, Wendy was climbing up the water tower, as as the gigantic gnome was about to squish Dipper and Mabel, she struck the old cistern, and jumped to the nearby tree, as the pressure did the rest. A stream of water hit the gnome in the face, and it began disintegrating, as if it was made from sugar, revealing each and every single little gnome that were part of it.

Like cats treated with a sprinkler, the might enemy dispersed, cursing Corduroy's name as they came back into the woods. With the same grace, Wendy jumped to the ground, welcomed by Dipper's and Mabel's overjoyed cheering.

- Wendy, that was the coolest... - ...most irresponsible, but definitely coolest... - ...think we've ever seen! - Wow, Your mom must be so proud of you! - Mabel exclaimed. - Yeah... I suppose she would be. - Wendy looked away for a moment - You gotta learn how to deal with these guys. Maybe I can help you complete this book, eh?

For a moment, Dipper didn't realise Wendy was addressing him. Though the water around them made the air chilly, he felt hot when his eyes locked with hers, and only Mabel's hand breaking that contact brought him down to earth.

- Oh, oh yeah! Sure!

Wendy raised her brow, and only after a while she realised that was missing from Dipper's usual look.

- Dipper, your hat's gone. - Oh, oh yeah, but it's not a big deal, Grunkle Stan has tons of caps in the Shack, I'm sure he will-

But before he could end the sentence, Wendy plucked her oversized hat onto his head. And as she ruffled his hair, she suddenly noticed something peculiar on his forehead.

- Woah, what's that? A birthmark? - Y-Yeah - Dipper blushed - It kinds looks like... - A big dipper! - Wendy exclaimed - Wow, that's so cool! Now I get why people call you that.

Once more, Dipper found himself speechless, looking at the stunning, brave girl, whose red hair were now illuminated by rainbows from the last streams of water leaking from the water tower. And before he knew it, they were back at the Shack, saying goodbye, as the sun was setting down, and their new friend had to go home.

- Oh, by the way... - Wendy's cheeks turned crimson - You are not the only one with a weird name. My middle one's Blerble.

She stuck her tongue out and waved the twins goodbye, before she ran into the forest, following a path only she knew.

Dipper let out a sigh and was about to walk into the shack, when he collided with his sister, and was met face-to-face with the widest of snarky grins he has ever seen.

- What? - Someone's in lo-ove! - Mabel sang - Come on, Mabel. - Dipper rolled his eyes. - It's not like that. - Oh yeah, mister "It's not like that" - she mocked him - You couldn't take your eyes from her! We drove past like a dozen of weird things and you didn;t even flinch, you were ogling her soooo much!

Dipper walked faster, trying to escape Mabel's taunts.

- Mabel, Wendy is just our friend, we just met her! And yeah, she is cool, and can climb trees, and knows all about the wildlife, and she saved our lives, and she wants to help work on the... the book with me...

Dipper Pines stopped in the middle of the Mystery Shack, and uttered a single "Oh no", just as Mabel erupted into laughter.

#Wendip #Wendip week #wendip week 2020 #same age #nautiscaraderfics

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emilx311 · 5 years

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Tobirama had been blind since birth, he dealt with it, even when his lack of sight led to shenanigans. Madara, on the other hand, was very confused by Tobirama's seemingly random habits. Or, four times Madara really should have figured out Tobirama was blind and the one time it actually came up.

My first MadaTobi week story! I'm hoping to do 4 of these in total. This is for the blind Tobirama prompt

read on AO3 or under the cut, also if you enjoyed this please buy me a coffee

Senju Tobirama had a secret. It was not one he really cared about, but his father had and keeping it had become a habit over the years. You see, Tobirama was blind. He had been born that way, with his eyes closed and his senses open. Hashirama and Touka knew, as did a few of the older Senju, but even within his clan most did not. Tobirama had never understood why others seemed to make such a big deal about it. He had never had it so he could not miss it and he had found ways to compensate for anything his blindness may have prevented him from otherwise doing. He was a capable and deadly warrior so he really did not see why anyone would care. This was why he had never thought to tell the Uchiha of his condition even after pulling his blow on Izuna to create peace and helping their brothers to build the village of their dreams.

One of the first things Madara noticed about Tobirama after peace was established was how messy his handwriting was. This seemed odd since anyone who spent any time around the brothers could see that Tobirama was the organized, logical one. He was the one who came up with the systems, the one who kept his brother in check and on task. And yet, while Hashirama had the beautiful handwriting befitting of a clan head's son Tobirama's was chicken scratch. It was messy and slanted and almost impossible to read. The albino seemed aware of this, had even hired someone specifically to be his scribe, but never did anything to fix it. Madara wanted to say something about it, but none of the Senju reacted or seemed to think it strange and he didn't want to make it seem as if the Uchiha were criticizing their heir. Izuna also thought it odd, but when he asked his brother he was unable to offer a possible explanation even after all the years he had spent fighting and studying the other.

Madara was watching Tobirama again, Hashirama noticed. He’d been doing that quite a bit since Tobirama had pulled his blow to Izuna, but this time seemed different. Instead of being focused on his brother himself the Uchiha was squinting at the book held in his brother’s hands. It was a braille book because Tobirama had just gotten back from a mission the night before and his chakra was still low, but otherwise Hashirama saw nothing out of the ordinary about it.

“Something wrong? You seem distracted” Hashirama asked his friend off-handily. Madara hummed, still focussed on Tobirama.

“Not really just…what is your brother holding?” Madara asks in return. Hashirama gives him a confused look.

“What? It’s a book” he replies. Madara blinks before looking at him quizzically.

“But there’s no words on it and he’s not using it to write in” Madara points out.

“Of course not, it’s written in braille. He always reads that way when he’s tired or low on chakra, it’s more relaxing for him” Hashirama explains. He’s surprised that Madara has never seen his brother read braille before, he does it often enough. Tobirama really did find it more relaxing since he didn’t have to focus his chakra when he read this way. It was almost as good as swimming for de-stressing him.

“Oh” was all Madara could say to that and Hashirama wandered away happily with no idea he’d left his friend even more confused than before.

Madara blinked. He blinked again. The sight in front of him didn’t disappear or change. He activated his Sharingan just to be sure. Everything stayed the same. So, he was not hallucinating or caught in a genjutsu, so what he was seeing had to be real. He took a moment to wrestle with that idea, but he just couldn’t accept it. There had to be an illusion of some sort, had to be! There was absolutely no way in the world Senju Tobirama would be dressed in that otherwise. No way!

He had tracked the Senju down to one of the more secluded training grounds with a few questions about paperwork only to find the sight in front of him. At first glance everything seemed normal enough. Tobirama was flowing through a series of katas, moving fluidly but slowly from one pose to the next with precision and control. He was covered in a light sheen of sweat that made his clothes cling in delicious ways. That was not the problem (or at least not the one Madara was focussed on, the one that is preventing him from appreciating this view). The clothes themselves were even, on a basic level, appropriate training wear. A pair of flexible capris and a teeshirt with a V-neck plus the mesh he wore underneath. No, the problem, the huge mind-bending, reality-warping problem was the colour of the clothes.

The pants weren’t too bad he supposed, being a darkish shade of green unfortunately reminiscent of vomit. They, at least, had the redeeming quality of providing some camouflage with the forest. The shirt did not. The shirt had nothing redeeming about it what so ever. It was a horrendous shade of neon pink (Madara wasn’t sure where the younger man had even been able to find it). The colour would have been bad enough on its own, but when contrasted with the pants was somehow even worse. ‘And’ he noticed distantly, ‘neither of them suits his colouring very well anyway’.

“What the fuck Senju?” He demanded once his brain had rebooted enough for his mouth to work. The Senju in question heaved a sigh and turned to give the Uchiha his full attention in the hope it would get him to leave sooner.

“What Uchiha? It’s called training. I would have thought you aware of the concept, or are you so above us mere mortals that you don’t need it?” He questioned, annoyed at being interrupted.

“What, no! Not the training, of course I know what that is! I meant the clothes! What the hell are you wearing?!?” Madara screeched, waving his hands towards the offending items. Tobirama blinked looking very confused.

“I’m wearing clothes as you yourself just pointed out. I fail to see the issue with it. They are hardly immodest and provide the lightness and flexibility I require to optimize my training” he responded blandly.

“You-immodest, no, what?” The Uchiha sputtered. Tobirama gave him a judgemental ‘get to the point’ look. “It’s not the type of clothes that’s the problem! It’s the colour! Are you trying to make all of Konoha go blind???” He questioned. Tobirama glanced down self-consciously.

“Is it really that bad?” He asked. “I mean, I know they’re not the best, which is why they were in my training clothes pile in the first place, but I didn’t think it was-”

“They are” Madara cut him off. “Please, for the sake of us all, burn them. Or, at least the shirt. No one deserves to see that, not even you.” Then, because he has always been far too curious for his own good, he asked, “where did you even buy that, and why?”

“No idea” Tobirama replied with a shrug. “Brother gave it to me, likely as a joke so he could laugh when I grabbed and worse it out by accident”. Madara paused for a moment at that, but it did sound like something Hashirama would do. He wasn’t sure how Tobirama could miss the colour (his eyes!) but then again, he wasn’t always the best in the mornings himself.

“Humph, just do the world a favor and burn it. The idiot’s likely already forgotten about giving it to you” he advised again, only to start sputtering, again, as Tobirama pulled the shirt off right in front of him. “What are you doing now???” He shrieked, a blush forming at the sight of the other’s pale, sculpted chest highlighted by the darkness of the mesh.

“I’m taking your advice. If it’s really that bad I may was well take the chance to get rid of it now. Uchiha are rather well known for their abilities with fire” Tobirama pointed out. Madara preened once he understood what Tobirama was suggesting. Burn the abomination? Yes, he could do that! He grabbed it out of the other’s hands, laid it on the ground and made a show of setting it ablaze. Once the offensive object was nothing but ash, Tobirama used a water jutsu to put the fire out.

“Thanks, Uchiha” Tobirama said. Madara nodded in acknowledgement and wandered off, please with his morning’s work. It was only after he was halfway back to the tower that he remembered why he’d been looking for Tobirama in the first place. He thought for a moment before shrugging. The paperwork could wait, what he’d ended up doing had been far more important. Plus, who wouldn’t have gotten distracted at such a sight? He didn’t know how the Senju had been able to stand having it on! (Meanwhile, Tobirama made a note to himself to go over all his clothes with Mito later-he’d had no idea any of them were that bad!)

Tobirama was beyond tired. He’d just gotten back from a mission (not that bad, but still tiring) and had been planning on making his report and then returning home and passing out. Instead, he had walked into the tower only to be greeted by terrified staff, screams, and flames. He pinched his nose, sighed, and set himself to sorting out the chaos.

He was unsurprised to find Madara and Hashirama at the epicenter of the mess. Stopping to shoot a glare at Izuna and Touka who were standing off to the side snickering, he called up a shave of water and dumped it on the two strongest shinobi of their age. Predictably, the screaming then turned into confused sputtering. Tobirama despaired for the village sometimes, and was also vaguely amazed that there even was one with these idiots in charge.

“Tobi! You’re back!” Hashirama cheered once he noticed his brother. He forgot about Madara as he eagerly launched himself forward to hug Tobirama, who neatly dodged him.

“Yes, I am, no, I am not hugging you while you are all wet” Tobirama told him. Hashirama laughed sheepishly. By that point Madara had managed to wrestle his wet hair back away from his face and had switched his glare from Hashirama to Tobirama.

“Oh, you survived, joy” he muttered. The dunking had not improved his already bad mood (Izuna considered it Karma for the number of times Madara had dumped him in the koi pond). Tobirama snorted.

“Yes, I survived, only to come back to this. I thought I specifically told you that I expected the village to be standing, intact, and not on fire when I got back!” Tobirama gave all four of them a pointed look, and they did have the dignity to look a bit abashed, or well, most of them did.

“It is!” Madara protested.

“This building is part of the village and there was definitely fire just a moment ago” he pointed out drily. Madara pinked slightly and looked away from the albino. Now that he had successfully cowed them Tobirama set about finding out what had happened and actually fixing the problems (setting them on fire is not a solution Madara!).

By the time he’d finished with that and finally made his report it was well into the night, and he was, as previously mentioned, very tired and also a bit low on chakra. Because of this, he was not sensing at anywhere near his usual level. This, he maintained, was why he ran into the door. Taking a step backwards and rubbing his head he glared at the offending piece of wood (ignoring how his brother and Madara were snickering). Grumbling, he reached his hand out to grab the nob and pish the door open. It didn’t move. Puzzled, he tried a bit harder, but there were still no results. Madara had, by now, stopped laughing and was starting to look a bit worried. Fed up, Tobirama switched tactics and gave the door a hard yank. This time, it did open-flying backwards with enough force to knock into his head, again. Tobirama cursed, he’d never been fond of doors, while Madara rushed over.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?” The Uchiha asked, fluttering around him with actual concern. He glared at Hashirama who was still snickering.

“I’m fine” Tobirama waved him off, “just tired”. Madara made a noise of contempt and began feeling the other’s head for bumps himself.

“It’ll be fine, this is hardly the first time he’s done this” Hashirama reassured him, voice still infused with mirth. “He always has trouble with doors when he gets tired. It’s why he has an open layout and shoji doors in his house, and why he uses windows so often” Hashirama explains, which…kind of makes sense. (Madara had wondered about the window thing. When they were first building Konoha, Hashirama had insisted that all the central buildings needed to have large numbers of windows and then that those windows had to be able to open from the outside. The Senju, when they heard, had all nodded with tired and resigned looks. The Uchiha had been so confused until the buildings actually started seeing use and Senju Tobirama started sliding through them. More than one of his clansmen had had minor panic attacks upon turning around to find Tobirama suddenly there, standing calmly by the window, but they’d gotten used to it quickly enough. It had become a secret pleasure for Madara to watch the albino twist his lean body as he entered or exited by his chosen route.)

“He even swore off door entirely for a few months as a child, would only ever use the windows. Broke a few bursting in when they were locked before everyone finally just gave up and started keeping them open” Hashirama adds. Tobirama looks unrepentant and even seems to smirk at the memory. “Still, this is usually a sign that he really needs sleep, and I still have some things to finish up here so would you mind making sure he gets home safe for me?” Hashirama shot his best pleading face ad his friend who pretended to be annoyed as he agreed (neither Senju was fooled). Once they were out of Hashirama’s sight Madara took the opportunity to wrap an arm around Tobirama, who rolled his eyes.

“I know I’m tired, but I can still walk by myself” he mentioned sarcastically. Madara shrugged.

“Maybe I want an excuse to touch my boyfriend who’s been away” Madara said, smiling with pleasure at the light blush his words cause. Their relationship is still new, having only begun a few weeks ago, but it was good. They would probably get around to telling people soon (neither wanted to deal with their brothers’ inevitable dramatics), but for now they were still keeping it quiet.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier” Madara adds, cringing as he remembered his first words to the newly returned Tobirama. “I am very happy that you’re still alive and back safe”. The Senju leaned into him a little in reassurance.

“I know, it’s fine. You were obviously upset, and my welcome to you was not the warmest either” he told the other. Madara just smiled at him, amazed as he always was that this man was his. They stopped once they reached Tobirama’s home and Madara pressed a light kiss to his lips before letting go and stepping back.

“Think you can manage the door?” He couldn’t resist teasing. Tobirama huffed, but there was a small smile playing around his lips. He walked up to the door and opened it with a big flourish, just to prove he could. Madara laughed.

“Good night then dear heart, sleep well” he told Tobirama who waved a hand in acknowledgement and farewell as he stepped into the house and closed the door behind him. Someday, Madara hoped, they would share a house with plenty of open space and windows and shoji doors where they could retire for the evening together.

It was months after that when things finally came to a head. If he was being honest, Tobirama would have to admit that he’d actually forgotten that Madara didn’t know he was blind. His partner was so good about accommodating him and his quirks that the whole thing had rather slipped his mind. Because of this he was genuinely surprised when it actually came out.

Their relationship was going well and they’d finally decided it was time to tell their families (well, they were both pretty sire Mito already knew, but they would tell everyone else). Since both were aware of their brothers’ personalities and tendency to over react (especially Hashirama) they had decided to do this in private and get it over with all at once. So, they had arranged for a family dinner at Tobirama’s and had invited Hashirama, Mito, Touka, and Izuna. They both knew that once the shock passed their family would be happy for them, but Madara was finding that knowing this did nothing to lessen the nerves churning inside him which was making him twitchy and irritable. Tobirama, Izuna, and Hashirama were the most important people in his life and he had no idea what he’d do if he ever lost one of them, but it would not be pretty. Because of this, he was fluttering around trying to make everything as perfect as possible.

“Why do you only have one vase? And why is it so deeply buried?!” He demanded between muffled curses as he finally unearthed the aforementioned object from the back of a cupboard that looked like it hadn’t been opened since Tobirama moved in. He carefully rinsed the dust off it, filled it with water and the flowers bouquet he’d bought and found it a place near the center of the table.

“Flowers aren’t really my thing since I can’t appreciate them properly. Besides, Anija makes them bloom everywhere anyways, so what would the point be?” Tobirama replies from his perch on the counter across the kitchen. Madara doesn’t really understand the first part but that’s okay because he understands the second way too well.

"Does this look okay? I wasn't sure if the colours of the flowers were too clashing but the clerk assured me, they were offset by the others enough that it didn't matter..." Madara trailed off. He knew he was being a bit ridiculous but the level incredulity in Tobirama's look was hurtful and uncalled for.

“Why in the world are you asking me?” Tobirama asked.

“Because you’re here?” Madara’s reply came out more of a question. “I know you don’t really care much about colour, but you can at least tell me if you can stand looking at them” he huffed. Tobirama froze, his eyes going wide which made Madara freeze in turn because that? That was not a good look.

“Shit” Tobirama murmured to himself and Madara felt as if a cold hand was trailing down his back. Tobirama rarely swore and when he did it usually meant something really big and really bad was going on. He had a split second to wonder if the village was being invaded before Tobirama started talking again. “Fuck, you don’t know! How could I forget you didn’t know?!?” He raked an agitated hand through his white hair. Madara was getting the sense that there was something he didn’t know.

“Ah? Tobi, love?” He questioned when after a minute the other just continued muttering to himself about what an idiot he was. “What don’t I know?” He figured it was best to ask bluntly, he’d never been any good at tact anyway. He was startled when the question made his normally stoic boyfriend blush and fidget ever so slightly.

“I…I didn’t mean to keep it a secret from you” Tobirama started off with, trying to reassure Madara but only succeeding in making him more anxious. “I assumed you knew. That Hashirama had told you at some point or that Izuna had figured it out and it just didn’t bother you which is why you never brought it up…” Tobirama realizing he was rambling forced himself to stop and took a deep breath before, finally, getting to the heart of the matter. “I’m blind” he blurted out. Madara took a moment to digest that.

“Oh” the Uchiha eventually replied dumbly. Tobirama, his strong and skilled lover, the man who’d spared his little brother and made his childhood dreams possible was blind. He wanted to reel in shock but…but he kept remembering instances, and small habits of Tobirama’s he’d observed that suddenly made so much more sense. His handwriting, the scribe he had with him at all times at work, his braille books and the way he would always read them and only them when he was low on chakra. It explained Hashirama’s insistence on giving him the most horrible clothes, why he hated doors and kept everything so neat. Every odd habit and quirk of his lover’s he’d wondered about but accepted (because they were a part of Tobirama and therefore precious) suddenly made sense. He looked back at Tobirama (when had he looked away?) and found him playing with a loose thread looking worried and…ashamed? He realized then that Tobirama expected him to be mad. Expected him to be angry that he’d never mentioned this to him before.

“Oh, Tobi” he crossed the distance between them in quick steps and pulled his boyfriend into his arms. “I’m not mad” he reassured the other. “Yes, I’m surprised because I never would have guessed and I’m maybe a bit annoyed at myself for not noticing the clues, but I’m not upset with you. I’m honoured that you trust me enough to tell me now!” He pulled the other down for a kiss that he poured his soul into. He tried to show the other how much he loved him, how learning this only made his love and admiration for the other’s strength grow. He seemed to have succeeded since Tobirama was beaming at him when he pulled away.

“I love you” the albino told him tenderly as he tucked an escaped strand of black hair back behind Madara’s ear, caressing his face as he went. Madara nuzzled into the hand with a smile. “And I trust you with all that I am” he added. Madara felt his heart skip a beat at the admission and the adoration written plainly in red, sightless eyes. He’d known, of course, but to hear it…They would have details to work out later, questions Madara would need to ask and accommodations he’d learn to provide, but for the moment this was everything he needed and wanted.

“I love you too, there is no one I would rather have beside me” he confessed in turn. Delighting in the way Tobirama’s smile widened even more at the words. Entranced with the man in front of him Madara could do nothing but kiss him again. The world around him faded away until the only thing left was Tobirama. Evidently, his love was having a similar experience since neither of them noticed the arrival of their relatives. They were pulled apart, and back into reality, by Hashirama’s happy squeezing and Izuna’s confused exclamations. Blushing, Madara pulled away to let Tobirama hop off the counter. He kept one hand in Tobirama’s and felt the other give it a comforting squeeze. Tobirama had his back and they would face this together. Strength renewed, Madara set about helping the other deal with the ridiculous people they called family.

#MadaTobi #madatobiweek2019 #Blind Tobirama #Tobirama #Madara #Hashirama #Izuna

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precuredaily · 5 years

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Precure Day 149

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 01 - “The Precure of Hope is Born!” Date watched: 1 October 2019 Original air date: 4 February 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/idPOtpl Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

Welcome, everyone, to our fourth series and second reboot in the franchise! Since sales for Splash Star were considerably lower than Max Heart and even below the first season, they decided they really needed to switch up the formula if they were going to keep making shows, so they turned to the ever popular Sailor Moon for some inspiration. Sure, the girls aren’t reincarnated ancient heroines in this version, but there’s some superficial similarities: a team of five color-coordinated girls in matching outfits, each possessing elemental powers, the leader is a bit of an airhead but her sincerity holds the team together, and her hairstyle features two strange objects on either side of her head. To an extent I suppose this describes most modern magical girls, but many of them are also copying Sailor Moon since it was a huge influence on the genre. Anyway, while FW was set in a bustling Japanese city and Splash Star was set in the rural countryside, our all new, all different series seems to be set in the French part of Japan, and the only reason I say it’s not just France is because it’s clearly close enough to visit in All Stars. So yeah, the French part of Japan, which is not a thing, but the point is this is where settings begin to get a little more fantastical and less grounded. Now that we’ve established our inspiration and our setting, let’s dig into the episode! The plot summary is going to run a little long this time as I introduce various characters, objects, concepts, and locations. I’ll keep it shorter in the future.

The Plot

A pink-haired girl is on her way to school when she gets distracted by a butterfly and runs into an attractive young man. They exchange words and she introduces herself as Yumehara Nozomi, but he has to run off before he can give his name.

Nozomi runs to the bus stop just in time to catch the school bus, as her brown-haired friend Natsuki Rin scolds her. Nozomi tells Rin about her mysterious encounter. On the bus is an advertisement featuring a young girl with yellow twintails, and there is also a green-haired girl sitting near Nozomi and Rin, while a car passes by the bus carrying a blue-haired girl. The opening theme has played, so the audience knows these are the future Precures. At school, the blue-haired girl in the car is revealed as the student council president, Minazuki Karen, while the green haired girl from the bus is her best friend, Akimoto Komachi. These two are third years, while Nozomi and Rin are second years, all at L’ecole Cinq Lumiere (School of Five Lights). Karen and Komachi attract a crowd of admirers, while Rin is quickly surrounded by members of every sports club demanding her help, so Nozomi goes on ahead, declaring that she, too, will find what she wants to do. She happens to walk by the yellow-haired girl from the advertisement, who is rehearsing her lines for an upcoming television appearance. She introduces herself to Nozomi as Kasugano Urara, a model and aspiring actress, and a first year at their school.

At the end of the school day, a conversation between Nozomi and Rin turns to the subject of Nozomi’s lack of aspirations. She always strives to cheer others on but doesn’t have a dream of her own, and Rin wants her to find one. Nozomi strives to do so while looking out a window, and notices the attractive guy from earlier snooping around the campus, so she decides to follow him. However, another shadowy figure is also following him that neither of them see.

The man winds up going in the library, where Komachi is acting as librarian and Karen is hanging out with her. Neither of them has seen anyone come in other than Nozomi, and Karen gets a little irate when Nozomi suggests otherwise, running off to look for the man she knows is here Komachi laughs and comments that Nozomi and Karen are similar in how resolute they can be.

While looking for the attractive man, Nozomi finds a glowing book and pulls it off the shelf to find that it has no title, but an ornate carved butterfly on the cover. Suddenly the man runs over and demands that she give him the book. She’s startled by his rudeness since he was nice to her earlier and refuses to hand it over. They get into a tug of war, with the man ultimately losing his grip and transforming in a puff of smoke into a small fox-like fairy, while the book (and Nozomi) falls to the ground, opening up to reveal a toy tablet inside. Nozomi is briefly shocked by the fairy but quickly cuddles him. He finally says his name is Coco, but before he can say much else, the shadowy figure from before shows up, whom Coco identifies as being from Nightmare Corporation. This is Girinma, and he states that he’s after the Dream Collet, the tablet from before. Coco refuses to give it up, as he needs its wish-granting power to restore his hometown, so Girinma transforms into a mantis man and starts attacking.

Nozomi grabs Coco and the Dream Collet and runs off. Karen and Komachi investigate the commotion but all they see is the mess left behind. Nozomi’s screams reach Rin and Urara, but all they do is turn their heads in curiosity. Girinma makes fun of Coco’s dream, causing Nozomi to retort that all dreams are precious and should be protected, and the butterfly from earlier appears and lands on her wrist, transforming into a watch. Coco excitedly tells her this is a Pinkie Catch and to make a wish. She does, and Nozomi transforms into Cure Dream!

Dream does the signature Precure move where she jumps out of the way of an attack and winds up high in the air. Girinma pulls out a mask and turns a portrait into a monster, a Kowaina (roughly “scary”). Dream is afraid of it at first but some encouragement from Coco causes her to turn around and kick it. Girinma tries to grab her and force Coco to hand over the Dream Collet in exchange for her life, but Dream manages to power up and throw the villain. Then she performs a finisher on the Kowaina, Precure Dream Attack, which causes a butterfly to fly from her hand to the monster and explode on its mask, defeating it. Girinma retreats to fight another day.

Coco tells Nozomi that she was able to transform because of her strong heart, and she decides her dream is going to be to work as Pretty Cure to help Coco grant his wish. Coco excitedly tells Nozomi that there are four more members of Precure other than her, whom they need to find, and we close on Nozomi’s surprised reaction.

The Analysis

They cram a lot into this episode. It’s very dense, but it doesn’t feel rushed or anything. We are introduced to our five main characters, of course spending the most time with Nozomi. We are shown that the girls either live in France or the Frenchiest part of Japan (All Stars DX suggests it’s travel distance from Wakabadai, Yuunagi, and Yotsuba so that’s my bet). We get a basic personality and an idea that will carry into their respective character arcs. This is Nozomi’s episode and we see that she is a little airheaded but highly supportive of her friends, while Rin wants her to actually find something of her own to focus on. She’s been in and out of a lot of clubs, always embarrassing herself or causing them trouble through her clumsiness, so bless her, she’s trying. When she bumps into Coco at the beginning, and he catches her, she develops a crush on him, which is why she was so upset when he gave her the cold shoulder in the library. We’ll get to see this crush grow a lot over the course of this show and that’s definitely something to look forward to.

What Nozomi lacks in skills she more than makes up for in compassion. Since she wants everybody’s dreams to succeed and their wishes to come true, she takes an immediate dislike of Girinma when he dismisses Coco’s wish. This spurs her into action and it’s this drive that allows her to transform. I love this. Sure, she’s not the most smart, most athletic, most driven, or most talented, but she has heart. We saw this with Nagisa and Saki before but Nozomi puts it into words, and it’s a lot different as the leader of a team of 5 than a single partner. She declares that helping others to achieve their dreams is now her dream, and I’m here for it. I find that the pressure to have a particular dream you want to achieve, or a life goal, at age 14 is a bit ridiculous to begin with.

In this episode, we get something we haven’t seen before in precure: a single heroine transforming and completely defeating the monster on their own. It’s novel for this franchise, but will become much much more common as the years go on. The fight isn’t very long, but it maintains the physicality that the series has become known for. There are no fairies causing light arcs in this one, it’s back to plain-old punching and kicking and, in one case, throwing. The finishing attack seems to come from the Pinkie Catch rather than being innate to Dream, but it’s hard to tell.

Speaking of the Pinkie Catch, let’s discuss that and the Dream Collet. The Catch is a small, watch-sized device that may have been a v-pet in real life, I don’t honestly know. The surface appears to be a curved diamond shape with an LCD screen in the middle. It’s much smaller than the cell phone changers of the last three years, and possibly the smallest Precure transformation device period. Meanwhile, the Dream Collet appears to be the large toy of the show. In order to use their wish, the Precures have to collect a large number of Pinkies with their Pinkie Catches and return them to the Collet. We’ll explore that better in the future.

As I said, there’s a lot going on in this episode. I’ll dig into more content in future reviews, Next time, it’s going to get fiery in here! Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 1 kettei!

#Precure #Pretty Cure #Yes! Precure 5 #YPC501 #PCD149

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todaysbiggesthits · 4 years

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The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2019

BC: Three straight hours of this

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in my Chapman Ryder Cup match with Code -The Robert M. Chennault Playlist in my Ryder Cup match with Laser -Vampire Weekend's "M79" with Parks and Rec theme interlude in Pawnee Peytonville with my babe -Late night music game with JD and Chaps this Fall -My kids competing for best air guitar solo to Daft Punk's "Digital Love" -The Stones soundtracking Raceday morning with Counterfeit Kenny and the Kennel Boys

Codem: -Picking up the keys after closing on #our house and listening to Arden's dreams for the pad while listening to the songs that brought us together in the first place. -Perched in the balcony of Park West watching Chromatics live and in person. -The Chapman format playlist that Brendon and I put together. It was just one song on repeat. Xtal - Aphex Twin -Plugging in my klipsch's for the first time in the new house to listen to elliott smith on the day of his death. the sound of his discography wafting throughout the whole house was a true delight.

Bronco: My 6-year-old discovering Green Day. My 9-year-old discovering Metallica. Both discoveries have awakened something in them that is hilarious and awesome to behold. And seeing Tool was pretty flaming awesome.

JD: March: Realizing I’d never heard this Stones song, nodding along to the opening riff, and exploding into my biggest laugh of the year at the first line.

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June: The Joni Mitchell performance in the Rolling Thunder Review documentary on Netflix. June: Catching the Thom Yorke Anima short film at the IMAX theater on the Upper West Side. July: Code and I getting a perfect 99 score on the greatest rendition of “Emotional Rescue” karaoke you’ll ever see. October: Playing the music game WAY too deep into the night with BC and Chap (look for the next day’s hangover on my worst moments list).

Chap: Patrick Stickles singing "I'm sorry dad no I'm not making this up" to his dad in the audience.

Nasty: Listening to music at BOB. Nothing but jams that whole weekend. Driving in with Laser - GOOGLE MUSIC JAMS. Trip to the casino - JAMS. Hanging out on the deck - JAMS. Driving to the course with Blazer Black - Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love for Planet Earth aka JAMS. In the cart with Code - JAMS. Driving Chappy and Sfreddo to the rental car - JAMS (but quietly).

Larse: Greta Thunberg speech dubbed to metal

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Best Shows Seent in 2019

Nasty: The Killers @ Summerfest. Hot Fuss will always be an all-time favorite album and Mr. Brightside is the best pop song of our lifetime, IMO. Also, my wife loves them which is about the only band in middle of the venn diagram.

Larse: The Lonely Island at Summerfest

BC: Dead & Company

JD: 1. The Rapture at Music Hall of Williamsburg 2. Viagra Boys at Bowery Ballroom 3. The Strokes and Parkay Boys at the All Points East fest in London with drunk lads screaming along to the guitar parts 4. B Boys at Union Pool 5. Titus Andronicus at Bowery Ballroom 6. Avey Tare at Market Hotel 7. Tame Impala at MSG 8. Weeping Icon at Elsewhere 9. Priests at Elsewhere

Code: interpol - chicago theater illuminati hotties - hideout it looks sad - subT downstairs robyn - riviera steve malkmus - art institute eleventh dream day - hideout colleen green - sleeping village swearin' - lincoln hall surf curse - subT shura - the bottle

Chap: TA was the only show I saw. It was great!

Bronco: All of them. They were each great in their own way. Aside from Tool I was able to interact with the band members at each of the shows. One I didn't have a ticket for and scored one at the door. One was in the tiniest venue I've seen a show at. One had a surprisingly entertaining opening act. And Tool surprised me with how much I enjoyed an arena show despite being so far away I couldn't see the facial features of the band members. And there was SOOOOOOO much weed being smoked in the Garden that night. And I was with a few good buddies. And I was able to sell my fourth ticket for twice what I paid, simulatenously covering me and my fourth friend who had to bail because his life sucks because his wife sucks.

Confession of 2019

Nasty: I consume more music at my cushy, suburban OrangeTheory workout classes than in my own free time. S/O to Coach Vanessa for having some Girl Talk on her playlists.

Codem: i had more fun listening to stuff that i already knew about than stuff that was coming out.

BC: I saw a Yacht Rock cover band and didn't hate it -I succumbed to social pressure and saw DMB -I didn't realize until the last minute that my favorite album was released in 2018 (Wild Nothing). Removing it greatly reduced my loyalty to my list.

Bronco: I'm losing my edge. I enjoyed way more lady singer bands this year than in any other year.

Chap: Couldn't get my shit together on the tracks list so just posted a random playlist

Larse: Not really a confession but more of a TIL (today I learned), but Raphael Saadiq was an original member of Tony! Toni! Tone!

Biggest Disappointment of 2019

Bin: The National @ Summerfest. From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel "the frontman was completely detached, even confessing at one point that he was excited to get back home to his family. The result was an incredibly depressing show — which, given the band's dour songs, is really saying something." ... Huge Bummer.

BC: Didn't see nearly enough shows with nearly enough of yous

Chap: Sturgill Simpson... unlistenable!

Bronco: Baroness.

Laser: Modest Mouse opening for The Black Keys

Code: i was really messed up by dave berman's passing. i had tickets to see him play at the end of august. it was going to be my first catching him live and in concert. i had waited for this moment since i picked up american water back in 2003. two weeks before he was supposed to come through town, he up and died. also, much less of a bummer, the chromatics show in miami that Arden and i were going to attend got canceled two days before the show.

Most Overrated of 2019

Nasty: Kanye's shoes

Chap: LEGACY! LEGACY! – Jamila Woods seems to have been highly regarded? Not my thing

BC: FKA Twigs

Bronco: Baroness.

JD: Big Thief

Code: cancel culture

Larse: Mayor Pete

Make it Stop 2019

Chap: In my house, the Nutcracker Suite. It's great, until the 300th time that day.

Nasty: Cage the Elephant (but children, instead of elephant, and in real life, not the band)

BC: Lizzo

Code: lizzo

JD: Memes

Larse: Trump

Bronco: News

Biggest TBH Regret of 2019

Chap: Can't seem to get to more than one show per year; Jessica Pratt in a church by my old place

JD: Missin’ dat Pratt yet Nick!

BC: Should've listened to the Kanye album. Should've spent more time with the Deerhunter record.

Rotty: Skipping CHVRCHES at Summerfest

Code: another year with no fog party

Nasty: Not going to Indy 500. lol jk.

Bronco: I didn't buy tickets to a few shows I would've liked to have seen. One of them I went to the venue and didn't get in. That bummed me out, but I crossed the street and had a few beers by myself for good measure, so it wasn't a total loss.

Detective Murtaugh of 2019

JD: Everything.

Bronco: Shows that don't start until 10pm. That Girl Band show nearly wrecked me.

Chap: How much I loved Bruce Springsteen's adult contemporary western-themed old-man album.

BC: The ten seconds I lasted with 1000 GECS

Nasty: For the life of me - I cannot figure out how to operate the "play next" queue on these apps.

Laser: Lizzo at Summerfest - lot of younglings running around; people were racist towards Lizzo's security guards, she vowed not to come back to MKE, one of the most segregated cities in America :(

Resolution for 2019 Status

Laser: — How It Went: Who can even remember this shit...I'm sure it was that I'd do better at keeping track or listen to more shit people suggest and I'm sure I failed.

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club How It Went: Noooot toooo gooooood

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year. How It Went: i saw chromatics and colleen green. last i checked .400 gets you into cooperstown.

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it. How It Went: Not bad! I especially nailed the “ineffectual and meaningless” part.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert. How It Went: Learned some piano but got to busy for it... Couldn't guilt JD to invite me anywhere but I DID invite him to a show! The same one I went to! With him!

Bronco: Read more 'classic’ books. I didn’t read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I’m leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics’. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I’m feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it. How It Went: Nope. Fell back in to zombie-apocalypse genre series that I've been reading for a while. But I am currently reading arch-nerd Neal Stephenson's "Fall; or, Dodge in Hell". It's almost 900 pages, I feel like I've been reading for months now, and because I'm a stupidly slow reader, I read only before going to bed, and can only make it 10 minutes before falling asleep and hitting myself in the face with my phone, I'm only 25% of the way through. But man is it painting a creepy yet eerily plausible scene of the near future. Guy just knows how to write.

Nasty: Hope last year I was smart enough to leave this blank. (editor’s note: [removes shoes, pets cat, puts on slippers, retires to favorite easy chair, sips martini, slowly pulls reading glasses out of cardigan pocket, dusts them off, loads todaysbiggesthits.tumblr.com, scrolls to ‘Resolution for 2019’] “Nasty: I’m sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.”)

Resolution for 2020

BC: See Phish in 2020

Codem: i'm making it easier this year. catch ovlov, washer, EMA and colleen green live this year. bonus points: see dom's much anticipated return to the stage.

Bronco: Build a vinyl collection. I know I dumped on Brendon for suggesting he press copies of Carpet Affair, but my kid's getting way into music and listening to it on his own (via Alexa in my bedroom which is super fucking annoying), so we're getting him his own record player and I think it's going to be a cool activity to go record store diving for whatever classics we can scrounge up.

JD: Get to more shows. Take more aimless strolls spinning tunes.

Bin: Send an email about music on the TBH! thread.

Larse: None

Chap: Eh I'm cool

Most Anticipated of 2020

Code: my man dom said that he is coming back to the world this year. i have to believe that he'll keep his word. i'm thinking 2020 is going to be the year for chromatics' Tommy.

Chap: TWOD, Perfume Genius, Jason Isbell

BC: Huey Lewis and the News, Tame Impala, Run the Jewels

Bronco: Kvelertak and Mastodon, maybe some surprise extra Tool material?

JD: Working Men’s Club

Nasty: Spotify getting Jay-Z's catalog back.

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dmctuesdayblog · 5 years

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I did this instead of finishing my cosplay today but I really didn’t want to sew and just wanted to draw Clear instead so--

While I could have been making Lux’s shirt, I was mastering the art of freehanding straight lines instead.

The main character of my fic, more information/explanation and translation of my messy writing under the cut ^^

First of all, I realize from early drafts his ponytail has gone through So Many Changes. I ended with it here because this is the most ‘realistic’ length. The notes on that are:

- Hair is not quite black.

The reasoning is because V has black hair, and so does Lady, so Clear’s more of a brunet lol A lot of my reasoning is to make him stand out from the cast in his own way, while still fitting in.

- Red is more ruddy than Dante’s coat and Nero’s vest. Primary color is grey.

I made his primary color grey/black since up until Vergil in the reboot/new game, Trish is the only one who wore mostly black. I also am really fond of monochromatic schemes with a pop of color around the waist, especially in action series where people employ a lot of acrobatics and kicks and stuff cuz the color accentuates the motions nicely. I also gave Clear something around his waist to match the long-coat silhouette since he wears a shorter jacket than every other character.

The reasoning for red as his secondary color is mainly because of his relation to Dante lol But also, the game uses colors really well within the Sparda family to show each character’s alignment, and thanks to DMC5 giving Eva a model we can now assume that red is the color that represents humanity. So, going off that notion, since Clear is fully human, red became his second color.

Other notes on his clothes:

- Layers make him look more bulky. Yes, those are moto-jeans, I am trash and accept it. Sheath 4 knives. Generic black combat boots (2lazy2draw lol srry...)

Notes on physical appearance:

- Height: 5′9. I wanted him to be a little on the shorter side compared to the other guys, so he and Lady are around the same height when she’s in her usual boots.

- Built for speed/acrobatics, not like Dante and Nero’s more muscular build. It’s cuz he doesn’t claymore, bro lol. Not super lanky like V tho, kinda in-between.

Because his primary weapons are a pair of knives, his fighting style is based a lot around hit-and-run, and block-checking his opponent. So, unlike Nero and Dante who just rush in swords blazing (literally in Nero’s case) and just destroy shit in a flashy manner, Clear actually considers a lot of actions and backs out if he needs to reset.

The Tat: Custom made w/ maximum edge. Also is functionally a Devil Arm.

I’d say that’s a spoiler but it comes up in like, chapter 7 lol Design-wise, it has to be different from V’s so it only covers his arms/upper back/part of his collar and has much more color; it also doesn’t fade in and out of existence and So Far doesn’t give Clear a Devil Trigger (still deciding if I wanna do that or not tho). The current design was no where near what I was intending when I first started designing Clear, but I really like where it’s ended up. The tail was a spur-of-the moment decision.

- Based off of Sin DT and Clear’s knives. Orbs and alchemic circles are featured.

The two sets of wings, tail, and then scales are what were inspired by Devil Trigger. The reason for basing it off Sin DT is because *lowkey spoiler* the tattoo is infused with Sparda’s blood retrieved from Nero. We don’t have time to unpack all that so the TLDR is the person who designed the tattoo was a heretical scientist from Fortuna. Also, the top set of wings is supposed to be more ‘feathered’ as a homage to how Clear initially was going to have something to do with angels/high-order demons. But I scrapped that idea pretty early on lol

- Base of circle is a Directional Circle. Disposal nodes. None of these are real elements tho lol

I did my own research into alchemic circles and ended up basing mine partially on a circle used to make bread LOL But the intended use is deconstructing /redirecting energy from demon blood, disposing of the blood/remains, and transferring the energy left over into Clear to give him power. I’m not functioning with the ‘equivalent exchange’ mechanic of FMA, so it’s a little easier to say “these are the parts of the circle and it will do this.” As for the ‘elements’ in the six small circles, I was initially going to use Actual Elements, but finding the makeup of blood that wasn’t more than plasma, water, salt was proving to be too difficult for my feeble tired mind to handle lol So, I made up six 'elements’: the top one is a drop of blood/eye combined to represent blood, the one to the right is just a random design, the two on the bottom are orbs (one is upside-down and grinning while crying, the other is just surprised screaming), and the left one is two crossed S’s with dots that when drawn wrong just look like boobies LOL The one in the very center is based off the sun/moon array but with two moons crossed over to form an ‘eclipse.’

If you read all the way down to here, thank you for sticking with me! I hope you found any part of my creative process interesting ^^ I hope to do more concept art in the future !!

#devil may cry #dmc OC #devil may cry OC #Clear (adrian cassius)#mayocado #mayocado art #cadofics #character design #original character #art #part 1

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bi-mirandalawson · 5 years

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I’ve been watching scary movies but haven’t posted anything so here’s some assorted horror movie thoughts:

(This is a long post I’m sorry it’s not my fault I can’t use readmores on mobile)

-I watched all 4 of the scream movies and really liked them but now I think ghostface is hiding around every corner or in every closet

-scream 3 was the weakest imo. Scream 4 wasn’t much better and actually mostly felt like a different series bc of the shifted focus from Sidney, but I liked it more bc dang Emma roberts plays a bitch so well. (Also now that I look at this again, it was definitely intentional that Sidney felt like a background character instead of the protag, bc this movie is supposed to be a “reboot” or smth)

-Maybe I’m just dumb but after the first one, there weren’t any real hints to who the killer was and I was not particularly fond of that. It made the reveal of the killer feel like a dumb twist . Maybe that was intentional ?? Bc the movies are really meta so maybe it was a Statement about shitty twists in slasher films ??

-speaking of meta shit, I kind of liked the meta aspect of the characters “knowing” they’re in like a slasher movie. It got kind of obnoxious after a while but I kind of liked that obnoxiousness ??

-“in the tall grass” was good and really trippy. Very good if you like midwestern “there’s something in the corn” vibes or if the scariest thing to you is a completely flat and empty landscape. Also the ending isn’t terrible and bleak with everyone dead, so that’s good.

-“truth or dare” is a fun teen-ish movie about some college kids who get trapped in a supernatural game of truth or dare that is mostly dares and if they don’t do the dare, they die ! I liked that there isn’t really a reason given for them to be trapped in this game ?? No ghosts or demons or portal to hell or anything it’s really just like ‘sometimes this happens’ ????

-I liked “the last exorcism” more than I thought I would ?? It’s found footage, so that earned points from me, but I don’t really get in to exorcism-type movies ?? I don’t like hate them by default, but it’s not something I go looking for I guess. But this was good I’m def glad someone recommended it to me bc I probably would have skipped over it otherwise.

-“as above so below” was good. It’s found footage, so there’s my bias again, but it had a real plot that would have worked as like an adventure movie instead of horror ?? Definitely scary if u r claustrophobic or if ur biggest fear is being buried alive, bc 90% of the movie takes place in abandoned catacombs deep underground.

#sinatext #horror blogging

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grimelords · 6 years

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Two days after I said I’d upload it tonight, here it is! My October playlist is finished and it’s chock a block full of good music and also bad music that I love. From John Mellencamp to drone metal, from Katy B to Cassius, it’s all here and more. Deadmau5 also is here and for that I apologise.

Small Town (Acoustic) - John Mellencamp: Guess who had a legit emotional reaction to a John Mellencamp song this month, thinking deeply about what it means to be from a small town and how much this song gets right and wrong about identity and freedom in a small town versus living in a big town? This guy. I think this song works a lot better stripped down acoustically than it does in the album version. It gives the lyrics a lot more space, and really lays out just how simple the sentiment of the song is. It sets the tone of this month's playlist pretty well now that I think about it. I've been feeling like a real pea-brain hayseed this month and big chunks of this playlist really reflect that.

Katy On A Mission - Katy B: It feels like this and Hold It Against Me by Britney Spears (which was also 2011) is the moment that big american style dubstep completely crossed over into the mainstream, Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites was about six months ago and from there it was a tidal wave until oversaturation and complete death. But Katy On A Mission is different because it's at least got the credentials of dubstep pioneer Benga producing it and it doesn't go all-out on the super dirty bass, or even particularly have a big drop at all - it just uses it textually all the way through and it's better off for it.

I Only Have Eyes For You - The Flamingos: The way this song is recorded is insane. It literally sounds like they're at the bottom of a well. And it's mixed in that good early stereo hard-panned style so the lead is in the right channel and the whole harmony is in the left channel and absolutely soaked in reverb in a way that just sounds incongruous with the rest of the song. It sounds like a dream. My favourite moment is at about 2:30 when the harmony vocals get so large on the high note that they clip out and distort in a way that just sounds very, very cool.

Horses In The Sky (Live Version) - The Sound Of Animals Fighting: The Sound Of Animals Fighting was a post-hardcore prog supergroup where they were all anonymous (it was just the entirety of RX Bandits plus Anthony Green from Circa Survive) and I really wish they'd done more like this after their first album - because they still wrote very very good songs but they got lost in the mire of studio ambient interludes and being avant-garde for the sake of it which sometimes worked and most times just bored you which thankfully they only succumb in the end section of this version. Compare this to the studio version if you want to know what I mean, halfway through the guitar solo it just starts playing in reverse.

Split Wide Open - Cannibal Corpse: Here's what I mean about feeling like a pea-brain this month. Cannibal Corpse is proper troglodyte moron man music. It makes me feel dumb as fuck like a real stupid guy. There's something interesting about Cannibal Corpse's enduring ability to shock people, and that a band making such extreme music are at least a name that people know. They were in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective for god's sake. Before Marilyn Manson and that wave of cabaret shock-rock really got into the popular consciousness Cannibal Corpse were making shocking, violent music without any of the glamour and I think it's served them well in the long run. Songs like 'Hammer Smashed Face' or 'I Cum Blood', are shocking in title, artwork and content to this day are still musically shocking to the vast majority, far more than Marilyn Manson's spooky androgyny and wearing like a top hat and having fangs or whatever that's aged like milk and become just another boring cliche. The idea of the devil being charming and sly, disguised in charisma is so much more boring than the devil just tearing you apart like mince meat and eating you. Anyway I'm here to say Cannibal Corpse is good music for dum-dums like me.

Funeraloplis - Electric Wizard: Someone's edited it now but it's still in the footnote links, but the best ever piece of writing on wikipedia was the quote on Electric Wizard's page where they were explaining the origin of their name because it said "Is the name Electric Wizard made out of two Black Sabbath song titles? [smokes a big bud of weed through a can] Hahahaha, yeah it is!" which is so good and sort of all you need to know about them.

I <3 U So - Cassius: Looking back through this list it seems I'm having a real 2011 moment for some reason. I don't think I *get* Cassius. From everything I read about them they seem to be french dance royalty but they literally have two good songs and they're both in this playlist. These two songs are very good though so maybe it's just that. Anyway it's a shame what Kanye did this to song on Watch The Throne but I don't blame him, it feels like this song is just impossible to work with. It's at a weird tempo, it's incredible loose, it basically has one section. I imagine this song would have frustrated a lot of DJs when it was popular cause I really don't know how you would mix in or out of it, but fuck it while it's on it's a great song!

Youth, Speed, Trouble, Cigarettes - Cassius: This is the other good Cassius song. I'm pitching it as the theme song for when they eventually reboot Skins. I really appreciate that this song has 1 idea and basically just does every variation it can with it before bringing it to a climax. When your idea is this simple and this good that's all you need. Also the big toms that kick in after the 'just one more' but are heaven sent.

It Took The Night To Believe - Sun 0))): Sun 0))) are such morons and it's so funny that you can be so dumb and so serious about this sort of music at the same time. On this song Greg Anderson is credited as Mystik Fogg Invokator and Stephen O'Malely is credited as Taoiseach, which is the name for the Irish prime minister. Whenever I listen to Sun 0))) for the first two minutes I'm like 'lol this sucks' but then suddenly the guy is like 'cry yourself to ash' and I'm feeling the pull of the void quite heavily. Basically it's just like that meme.

Seven Angels - Earth: I remember ages ago some guy posted Earth 2: Special High Frequency edition and it was just this whole album with a high pass filter on it which is a funny joke. Anyway it interesting to think of this album in the context of when it came out. Two years after Nevermind, six months before In Utero - grunge at the absolute height of its power, stoner metal like Kyuss and Sleep huge when suddenly this guy comes out of nowhere and distills guitar music down to its essence: slower, louder, heavier than anything else by an order of magnitude.

Mutual Slump - DJ Shadow: I finally saw Xanadu this month and now I can finally relate to the weird smiling breathing out your nose noise that she makes after she says 'I'd never hailed a cab before' in this song.

Walkin' On The Sidewalks - Queens Of The Stone Age: Queens Of The Stone Age's first album is 20 years old this year and I've been thinking a lot about how it was a two person operation. Josh Homme played and sang everything on this album except the drums and it's funny to think about writing this sort of music all by yourself outside of a jam structure. He really sat down with a pad and paper and wrote down 'outro: bass riff x400' and then recorded it just like that.

Witch - Maps & Atlases: I wake up with this song in my head so often it's insane. I think a triplet groove in 4/4 like this is such a good and underused feeling and this song really deploys is perfectly. I want more of this, the good kind of math rock where it's not just guys doing midwest emo tappy riffs that all sound the same.

Down 2 Hang - Kirin J Callinan: This is what meeting up with people from the internet feels like. It's kind of a shame that this album got completely overshadowed by the Jimmy Barnes screaming meme, and that it's the first and last a lot of americans will ever hear of Jimmy Barnes but in reality it's exactly what Kirin J Callinan wanted to good for him I suppose.

Fast In My Car - Paramore: If you can't tell already I'm having an extremely basic bitch moron man month and that included listening to this Paramore album a lot and telling my girlfriend about how isn't it so interesting that the guitarist Taylor York just took over drum duties for this album after their longtime drummer quit and did such a good job playing drums AND guitar and her rightly not caring at all. I'm always impressed by songs that keep the same chords through the verse and chorus, it seems impossible but it works great here.

Don't Stop The Dance (feat. Delafleur) - Breakbot: I'm clapping my hands to stress each syllable when I tell you that Disco Will Never Die.

Oqiton - Jeremy Dutcher: I'm so glad this album won the Polaris Prize because I feel like I would never have heard of it otherwise. I absolutely love it, and I think what I love so much about it is that it doesn't fall into the trap of similar projects like this in the past of smoothing out all the jagged edges and turning it into plastic pretty music from the untouched ancient peoples - it's a real and alive reinterpretation of old music that looks toward the future and past in equal measure. Including the actual original recordings in each track is such a smart move, it gives you the context you need so this album isn't about liner notes and extra sources and it lets those old recordings seamlessly fold into these new reorchestrations.

I Remember - Deadmau5 & Kaskade: Anyway moron month continues here with the only worthwhile contribution to the planet earth that Deadmau5 ever made, I suspect by letting Kaskade do most of the work. It sounds sadistic but I really appreciate how this song is nearly ten minutes long, I'm a big fan of any song with that much confidence that actually pulls it off.

Overtime - Jessie Ware: Fucking Jessie Ware is back and she’s got Bicep producing! I think I added this song to my playlist before it was even a minute in, I just heard the bassline and my brain stem said yes.

Body - Julie Jacklin: I really think Julia Jacklin might be the best songwriter around right now and I cannot wait for her new album. I guess this keeps with the moron man theme by telling it from the other side. I keep listening to this song and then getting into a real mood for about an hour afterwards so I can't imagine the damage the album is going to do to me.

Can't Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West: Throughout the whole ongoing Kanye drama I've been thinking of this song. " I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny, and what I do? Act more stupidly" "I'm on TV talking like it's just you and me". Anyway he's had is money right for a long time but it's becoming increasingly apparent that you really really can't tell him nothing. I think it's interesting that the thing that seems to have spurred him into clarifying his beliefs and finally backtracking on anything is that Candace Owens tried to credit him for the shitty Blexit thing and it turns out the one thing you can't do to Kanye West is manipulate him into putting his name on something he doesn't believe in or didn't create. It's insane that John Legend and Mos Def and Talib Kweli reaching out didn't change anything but Candace Owens taking one too many liberties absolutely did.

Like Wolves On The Fold - Colin Stetson: I've said it one million times but I love Colin Stetson. I love how straightforward this is for a Colin Stetson song. You can sing along to it! So much writing about him focuses on the intricasies of his technique rather than his resulting very human, very primal music. I feel like his music is not very far from beating on your chest and yelling a lot of the time (especially toward the second half of this song) and the saxophone element just makes it a lot more socially acceptable.

Sack 'Em Up, Pt. I / Sack 'Em Up, Pt. II - Gwenifer Raymond: Bandcamp had a really good article about American Primitive the other day https://daily.bandcamp.com/2018/10/10/american-primitive-list/ and I found this album in it and fell completely in love instantly. I listened to it five times in a row. It's just incredible and I'm so glad that the music I love is finally being rescued from the mire of New Acoustic youtube men with their slapping and tapping and harp guitars and moving forward in new ways with artists like Sarah Louise, Marisa Anderson and Gwenifer Raymond. Women are finally allowed to play guitar now and thank fuck. One of the things I really appreciate about this album is just how written it feels. Every part, even the very swirly Part One of this song feels very purposeful, and if not totally written at least improvised in a tight framework before moving into the completely written second half. There's nothing wrong with improv but in a genre like this that's almost overrun with guys putting out hour long improv records it's refreshing to hear someone with such a clear vision execute it so expertly.

Bleeding Finger Blues - Gwenifer Raymond: Also, get a fucking load of this. An absolute powerhouse performance from a master. There's not enough solo banjo music around and it's a shame because I don't know if there's a better argument for banjo as a solo instrument than this song. The other thing I like about this album is there’s three banjo songs on it, which works well for breaking up the sequencing and making each song really distinct in a genre where albums can really blend together.

4:30 - Danger: It's a shame that Danger never really fulfilled his potential. With songs as good as this as 19:11 he seemed set. But then he took about a decade off before his debut album and I guess he lost something along the way. Anyway, doesn't matter because when you've got a song as good as this it's all you need. Also here's a good video where someone just put this song over the bar scene from Terminator which really accentuates the vibe in my opinion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z37R39-mff8

Crybaby - Abra: I love love love the production on this. A friend sent it to me because he said it reminded him of the Call Me Mr Telephone song I was raving about and he’s absolutely right. I love how formless it is, it goes through about three different verse ideas before finally getting to the chorus at about a minute and a half in and it’s only stronger for it. I’m so glad a new generation of darkwave adjacent people are discovering freestyle because this is great.

OMG!!! - Yelle: This song is probably best experienced with the music video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoWK4rV3INY It’s fantastic on its own, especially the “oh my god!” sample and the whole chorus section, but the video - titties out, covered in glitter, very very good dance move for the rising 'ooo' part, a hamster is there. Really accentuates it.

Copacabana (At The Copa) - Barry Manilow: Was thinking about this song the other day. Woke up with it in my head actually which was strange. I feel like this song and the Pina Colada song definitely take place in the same cinematic universe.

King Of The Dead - Cirith Ungol: I've been rereading Lord Of The Rings and also a very dodgy 70s sci-fi series called Dray Prescot and so divine fate has drawn me to discover Cirith Ungol. The good kind of metal where all the album covers could also be fantasy novel covers and all the songs are about how cool it would be to slay an ancient demon with a sword. I love this song because it feels impossible to sing it without doing some very dramatic face acting and also his voice is completely insane. I feel like this is maybe just how he talks.

Sugaree 10/21/1978 - Grateful Dead: Grateful Dead are good and ever since I came to terms with that I've felt like I'm always on the precipice of buying a box of tapes, covering my car in confusing stickers and dropping completely out of society. The problem with a big chunk of live Dead recordings that I've heard is that while the playing is always on point, the vocals can vary wildly - especially when they try any kind of harmony, but this recording is just great. Fantastic vocals with a lot of feeling, ample crowd noise so it doesn't feel like just a sterile soundboard recording, and of course an incredible extended jam.

Ring De Bell - Brother Resistance: I don't fully understand what rapso music is yet, I don't have enough understanding of the culture or surrounding genres. I basically just found this Best Of compilation and have been listening to it a LOT. As I understand it it's 70s Trinidadian calypso music that got very political, which is very cool. I'm a big fan of this sort of lyric where it feels like you could just go on and on for days about all the places you should ring the bell.

Kojack - David Rudder: The crown jewel of this compilation is of course this song I've posted about before and absolutely love to death. A protest song about them taking Kojack off the TV because it's too violent when shows like Dallas and Dynasty, which are far worse, remain on the air. Miami Vice! Before youtube comments and online petitions you had to make extremely good songs about this kind of thing, and its a huge shame that we've allowed this to die.

The Power Of Love - Celine Dion: I love Celine Dion because all her songs sound like they were recorded across 5 countries and 8 different studios and cost two million dollars. They always sound too expensive for casual listening to me, like I should have an emergency mink coat on me at all times just in case The Power Of Love starts playing in a supermarket.

Airworks - J Dilla: I've been listening to Donuts a bunch this month and really thinking about what makes him so good and the vast legion of Dilla imitators on soundcloud bad and I think this song is a good example. The main sample sounds straight up ugly, it's backwards and twisted to hell, the main strings part keeps folding over itself, it's just chaos but completely controlled chaos. Every imitator is so afraid to make a total mess like he does and is too focused on the underpinning laid-backness of the beat, where Dila somehow makes the relaxed feeling easily as a result of a million clashing elements.

Anti-American Graffiti - J Dilla: I also found a playlist on Spotify where someone had put together Donuts with all of the the original tracks it sampled (or at least the ones that are available on Spotify) and it's such an illuminating new way to listen to this album. https://open.spotify.com/user/keatonkreps/playlist/1TPeWt38uceWXD1Vhyf7wx?si=NJ_jHrYqQpCt18q-W9nrag

Marvel - Solillaquists Of Sound: Every genre has good music in it. Even rappity rap conscious hip hop has good songs like this one. There’s another song on this album called Popcorn that’s basically the It’s Media picture converted to a .wav but this song is good. Especially her vocals when they come in halfway through sounding like an astrology zine except good.

Rock Island Line - Johnny Cash: Johnny Cash has around one million songs about trains, including ‘Blue Train’, ‘Train Of Love’ and a song called ‘I’ve Got A Thing About Trains’ but this is the best one because it’s about train-related fraud and doing perhaps the most outlaw country manoeuvre ever and telling the toll man that you’re carrying livestock when you are in fact carrying pig iron.

I <3 U So (Skream's Made Zdar Feel Like He Was 20 Again Remix) - Cassius: Also as a kind of coda, here's Skream's version of I <3 U So, where he's completely ironed it out and turned it into a pulsing dnb thing which is always impressive to me when people completely reverse the feel of a song in a remix.

Worms Of The Senses / Faculties Of The Skull - Refused: Stereogum had a really good article about The Shape Of Punk To Come on its 20th anniversary and whether it really did turn out to be the shape of punk to come. They asked a bunch of people whether the title seemed arrogant and the vocalist from La Dispute had a really good answer where he said "But it’s like calling your shot and then fuckin’ hitting a home run. If it was arrogant, it was justifiably so." which is so great. https://www.stereogum.com/2020358/refused-shape-of-punk-to-come-turns-20/franchises/sounding-board/

listen here

#playlists

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candiedfangs-blog · 5 years

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HOW DO I CHOOSE A TRUSTWORTHY SEO COMPANY?

On the off chance that you are a business visionary, you are in all probability acquainted with the term SEO and what it implies.Unfortunately, a few people wouldn't put SEO and 'reliable' in a similar sentence, and this is because of the adverse notoriety it has accumulated after some time. However the advantages of good SEO are abundant – on the off chance that you pick a decent SEO organization that is.

Picking a reliable SEO organization can be testing, particularly on the off chance that you haven't worked with one preceding. In this blog entry we will let you know precisely what you have to search for and the inquiries you have to pose so as to settle on an astute business choice.

Anyway, WHAT ARE THE STEPS TO CHOOSING THE RIGHT SEO COMPANY?

Website design enhancement is certainly not a limited band, and any organization you choose to work with ought to have a toolbox of aptitudes and labor to take care of business right. A reliable SEO organization will be contained SEO authorities, however gifted substance scholars, engineers, PR pros and visual fashioners. Their employments are to ensure your site isn't just outwardly wonderful yet upgraded at its center.

Basically, a great SEO organization ought to have the accompanying:

Specialized set up

Group of substance essayists

Group of effort masters

A) TECHNICAL SET UP

Any great SEO organization won't just have a top group behind them, yet access to specialized instruments and assets (Screaming Frog, SEMrush, Ahrefs and so on.). This won't just indicate they are devoted on monitoring your advancement and ensuring everything is done impeccably from a SEO viewpoint, however they are likewise ready to make a speculation and pay for these instruments so as to give the customer the best outcomes.

B) TEAM OF CONTENT WRITERS

So as to get traffic on your site, your substance needs to focus on the best longtail catchphrases and answer search aim so as to change over. A decent SEO organization will almost certainly utilize substance to get you a top spot on the Google SERP and target potential clients to change over them into real clients. Ensure that the substance:

Targets applicable watchwords

Is really valuable to a peruser and answers the inquiries they looked for

Has inside connections to different pages/posts on the customer's site

Can possibly change over

C) TEAM OF OUTREACH SPECIALISTS

This is additionally something you'd need to see offered by your SEO office. Connection winning is accomplished by making incredible substance significant to your subject, which will be sufficient to atrract joins from industry pertinent online productions. As a result of the high caliber and inventiveness of the substance, others will need to connection back to it as a kind of perspective. A decent group had some expertise in effort will know precisely who to focus so as to capitalize on the substance delivered and eventually get however many natural connections as could be expected under the circumstances.

2. Perceive HOW THEY BUILD LINKS

Natural external link establishment is an essential part in getting your site to rank on Google, and keeping in mind that 'quality over amount' is the thing that most organizations guarantee about their practices, this is just right to a limited degree. Truly, it's actual, you wouldn't need connections originating from low quality spaces, yet we're stating that a decent organization comprehends that achievement is part quality, part amount.

In this way, in the event that you need your site to rank exceptionally and be inside Google's rules, you will require at any rate as much expert given by connections as the principle contender/top positioning site, yet these connections additionally need to originate from top notch spaces. The third definitory angle which will make a SEO organization stick out (and is regularly ignored by the deceitful ones) is significance. This means the areas that connect to your site ought to in a perfect world be pertinent to your industry. This enables Google to realize that your site is authentic, and the data it gives is valuable and applicable.

WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF LINKS YOU CAN GET FOR YOUR WEBSITE (AND WHICH ONES YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM)?

what sorts of connections would you be able to get

1) AUTOMATED LINKS (AVOID)

In the event that an organization is offering you these sorts of connections, begin running the other way. These low-quality connections are delivered utilizing computerized instruments and they are seen as spam by Google which can bring about you getting a punishment on your site.

2) MASS PAID LINKS (AVOID)

Likewise against Google's rules, this technique includes paying a provider to make these connections in bunches. This will likewise in the long run trigger a punishment from Google as they are not regular.

3) FREE SITE LINK FARMS (AVOID)

Another to maintain a strategic distance from, some SEO organizations will make heaps of pages with poor substance on free locales to connection back on your site. This is again considered nasty and will place you in Google's terrible books.

4) LINK BAITING (GOOD SEO)

Connection Baiting is an indication that the SEO organization has an able group behind it, as this kind of third party referencing requires composing research that is conveyed to a curated database of columnists, who utilize this examination in an article and connection back to your site.

3. CHECK IF THEY CONTRIBUTE TO THEIR INDUSTRY

Before choosing which SEO organization to contract, have a decent take a gander at their site. The things you ought to search for are creativity and signs that they are considering new ideas.

A top SEO office will be consistently adding to their industry. Exploring different avenues regarding approaches to get customers to the top, the organization you pick ought to be persistently examining the consistently changing field of SEO.

At Reboot know the significance of finding new, imaginative approaches to disentangle how web indexes work, and we like to impart our disclosures to those as energetic about SEO as us.

"REBOOTONLINE.COM [...] PERFORMED SOME WONDERFUL, LARGE-SCALE, LONG-TERM TESTS [...] WE REALLY APPRECIATE THE EFFORTS OF FOLKS LIKE THAT, WHO GO THROUGH INTENSE EFFORT TO GIVE US THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW GOOGLE WORKS." - RAND FISHKIN, FORMERLY OF MOZ.

Reboot at Brighton SEO

4. Comprehend THE PRICE YOU SHOULD BE PAYING

We comprehend it can get exceptionally confounding when you are searching for a top SEO organization and you see some charge £300/month while others charge £10,000/month. Definitely, they all do something very similar, so why not go with the less expensive alternative? We wish it were as straightforward as this.

For what reason SHOULD YOU BE WARY OF LOW-PRICED COMPANIES?

As a rule, a dishonest SEO organization will charge you peanuts – and you'll get monkeys. Low-end SEO offices can't bear to pay for experienced workers nor the expert specialized devices they would need to carry out the responsibility appropriately. Thus, you might need to reconsider enlisting a business with just a few workers.

The way toward improving your site and getting it to the first page on Google can take some time whenever done appropriately and inside Google's rules, so business people should be quiet. Nonetheless, an awful SEO organization will attempt their best to surge those outcomes, so they can demonstrate to you they are working admirably for minimal expenditure. As we referenced previously, a great SEO procedure depends both on quality and amount. Notwithstanding, you can anticipate that a shabby organization should concentrate exclusively on amount and not give any consideration to quality. This can be inconvenient to your business most definitely, as the main method for getting quick outcomes is utilize dark cap strategies which will in the end in your site getting a Google punishment.

Indeed, numerous organizations have reached us since they ended up in a comparative circumstance where they have required a punishment recuperation administration as they've enlisted a shoddy SEO organization and obviously, it finished gravely for them. Furthermore, as much as you'd need them to pay for it, the harm is now done, and you'll require a dependable SEO organization to attempt to rescue your site. Accordingly, it's smarter to do your examination in advance and treat procuring a decent SEO organization from the counterbalance as a significant venture.

It is not necessarily the case that an organization charging £10,000/month is certain to make an extraordinary activity exclusively dependent on the value they request. We aren't stating that terrible SEO isn't possible at high costs – we are stating, be that as it may, that great SEO is impossible at low costs.

5. Pose THE RIGHT Inquiries

Suppose you've done all your exploration, and you have discovered a SEO organization that you think could be the one. What are the inquiries you have to pose to ensure you can confide in them with your business? We prescribe inquiring:

Would you be able to furnish me with references (at any rate at least 5) of organizations you've worked with for in any event a year?

Would you be able to demonstrate me instances of connections you've earned for your customers?

Would you be able to demonstrate me instances of substance you have made for your customers?

Who are your fundamental rivals, and would you be able to give me a few instances of watchwords you've helped them rank for.

What is your commitment to the SEO people group? Is it true that you are dynamic on discussions? It is safe to say that you are mindful of or have you done any SEO tests yourself?

How is your methodology distinctive to each other SEO office?

By what method will you help me choose which watchwords my site should target? (their answer should concentrate on different significant measurements, for example, rivalry, spending plan, search volumes and, above all, arrival on venture (ROI). Will these watchwords help me develop my business?

What watchwords does your organization rank for? (On the off chance that they can't rank themselves, by what means will they rank you?)

Do you have any experience building or potentially relocating sites? (on the off chance that they do, this proposes maybe a more profound specialized information.)

Do you out-source any of your administrations? (best organizations do everything in-house.)

All the while, you can detect a dependable SEO organization when they are excited about posing inquiries and studying your organization and what you are attempting to accomplish through them too, rather than just being on the getting side. Become familiar with what's in store from our blog: 'Inquiries any great SEO organizations will pose to you".

6. KNOW THE RED FLAGS

Presently you realize what to search for when looking for an incredible SEO organization, however what would it be a good idea for you to stay away from? This is a rundown of warnings you ought to ke

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christinaroseandrews · 6 years

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Part 4

If you want to know what you missed in You Don’t Know Me, you can read Parts One, Two, and Three. Or you can just jump into the deep end and go from here. I should have said spoiler alert, but at this point who cares. However there are Trigger Alerts of Dubious Consent, Alcohol Abuse, Sexual Harassment, and a crap ton of sexist and homophobic microaggressions. Suffice it to say this is NSFW.

This is the last summary bit, I promise. I mean we only have a quarter of the book to go and the shit just hit the fan in a big way. Normally I would say that the last quarter is spent fixing the problems revealed on the way to the happy ending. But in You Don’t Know Me’s case, I would be completely wrong.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

With Alec, Rue, and Jenna all finding their own way back to the U.S. after their adventures in Ibiza, we’re left with Repentant Asshole Jack and Magically Reappearing Sean to follow around.

Sean once again proves he is too good for this world. By calling out Jack and how he’s been behaving.

Unfortunately this is literally all of the discussion that we get because the plane runs into turbulence. It turns out the turbulence is being caused by a large group of thunderstorms in the Caribbean (which most air traffic controllers try to steer around unless there is a more pressing reason not to) and everything goes to hell. Literally.

Since this is a storm, that means the water is going to be choppy which seriously impacts the ability of the pilot to land safely (my uncle pilots small craft and my cousin is a business jet pilot). Not to mention it feels like the only reason that Hopkins threw this in there was so that Jack would get a “get out of jail free” card and not have to be accountable for his actions and what he did to Rue.

The plane starts to go down and we get this.

Who here remembers the safety demonstration at the beginning of each plane flight? One of the things they stress is to not inflate the vest until you’re outside of the plane.

There’s a reason for that. It has to do with the laws of physics. Namely, that most people aren’t strong enough swimmers to be able to dive underwater while wearing a life vest and people get trapped in the sinking plane because they are floating not walking. I even saw a TV show on this that referenced Ethiopian Airlines Flight 961 and the memories of survivors who heard the life vests inflate and then saw people dying because they couldn’t get out.

Mean water.

So now that Jack and Sean are likely dead. Let’s check in with our favorite musician who we’ve yet to see do anything that warrants his celebrity, Alec.

He arrives at LAX and is immediately greeted by people exclaiming that “Yay! You’re not dead but your friends are!”

Which leaves him going “Huh?”

He dashes off to a bar and gets the news.

Alec then takes a page from the Tommy Wiseau school of acting and falls apart.

And there you have the problem. This grief feels overacted. Forced. Like Faleena has never actually lost someone she cared about and is going through the motions of grief.

We flip to Rue who has heard the news and decided that the best thing to do is to go to Jack and Sean’s house and try to comfort their grieving mother. Remember, this is the same woman whose husband cheated on her and Rue is a living reminder of that infidelity and betrayal. But sure, let’s go comfort Mrs. Stone. That’s a great idea.

Rue goes on and on in her head about how much she loves her brothers. Despite only knowing them a week. And one of the brothers has done his level best to break her and succeeded. Then we get this.

My parents went from Met to Engaged in literally 3 weeks. So I know it’s possible. But Rue hasn’t had the same kind of “get to know you” experiences. She’s had parties, and more parties, and that’s about it. The real problem is that the author didn’t show the bonding between any of her characters. Instead, she meandered from external plot device to external plot device without any character development. The number of times I can count Alec and Rue actually talking is non-existant. They don’t talk. They lust after each other.

Right now I am firmly on the mother’s side.

Alec shows up about a minute later and lets himself and Rue in.

When he appears, the mother reappears - drugged out - and apologizes to Rue.

We then get some of the backstory of Rue’s father and mother.

Apparently the mother left and despite telling Rue’s dad that she never wanted to see him, he still loved her. He even wrote a note to his wife telling her that he never loved her and that Rue’s mom was his soulmate. The man is a piece of work.

Not to mention, I have concerns about just how much Rue’s mom wanted the affair and how much was coercion. Because let’s be honest, it’s a power imbalance.

After this, we travel back in time to see what happened when the plane crashed. At this point, I am firmly convinced that Jack and Sean died despite what the author claims, and this is just a huge fantasy spun by Rue as part of the bargaining phase of grief. I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else.

The plane lands and Jack and Sean and the pilots manage to get out despite the rising water.

Once out of the plane they have to swim against the waves to get to the raft with an injured co-pilot.

At this point, I’m just chanting “Nope” so much that my dogs got concerned about my sanity and started bringing me toys in the effort to break me out of my fugue-state.

I have good dogs.

Of course Jack and Sean survive to reach the raft...

How do I know they’re near Cuba? It becomes a plot point later. But you want to know what else is near Cuba? The Gulf Stream.

Look at those water temps... Hmmm It’s almost like it’s warm in the Caribbean or something.

This water is definitely warmer than ANYTHING along the California coast. (LA average water temps in November are in the low 60s. The Florida Keys average water temperatures are in the upper 70s to low 80s during the same time.)

Sorry, my Earth Science degree is screaming. I’ll stop.

While they’re drifting they have a heart to heart and Sean reveals he’s gay.

Seriously, Jack is one of the most horrible people I’ve ever encountered that was supposed to be a redeemable character. There have been villains - Loki, Vegeta, Draco Malfoy, Darth Vader, Spike - who have had better redemption arcs and been better people than Jack.

Then this happens.

I actually went back and counted, from the time traveling reboot it literally was 8 pages from the start of that chapter with the actual plane crash and them being rescued. They were in the water for only a few hours or at least that’s what it feels like. The author is not good with time.

We return to Rue and Alec in California and get this...

Yep, the President calls to tell them Jack and Sean are safe.

There’s some very painful dialogue and then Mrs. Stone wanders off.

And one of Faleena Hopkins’ issues rears its head...

From here on, I imagined the entire scene was being listened to by Obama. It wasn’t pretty.

We start in on a “I am so happy my best friends are alive I must sex you up!” which I will spare you. Then Alec and Rue have a heart to heart and they decide that they can only be friends. Because she loves her brothers and she wants to make it work with them. I can get loving Sean. Sean is awesome. Jack can go rot. Have I mentioned I hate Jack?

Next we have a party to celebrate the return of Jack and Sean and my love of Sean wanes while my hatred of Jack and Alec rises. Jack because he’s a horrible human being. Alec because he spends his time moping about how wants Rue but can’t have her.

Sean wanders away and spends the next few minutes telling everyone he talks to that he‘s gay. Which I wouldn’t have a an issue with if this wasn’t billed as a straight romance. Sean rejoins the group and we get the following “Jack is terrible” things.

Jack stops with his harassment of Jenna and has a talk with Rue. Revealing that he too tried to commit suicide.

You know. I hear counseling is a thing. Maybe you all should look into that.

Anyway after that, he gives permission for Alec to date Rue.

Because men giving permission for people to date their female relatives is so 2015... or 1915... or 1815. One of those. This is also sexist. I know there’s a bro code, but frankly Jack has been such an ass and literally he’s known Rue for like a week, I’m skeptical.

Alec is relieved and runs off to find Rue. But she’s trying to stick to her vow of only friends.

So when she tells him no twice, he does this.

This is what Faleena Hopkins considers sexy: abuse. Naturally Rue is turned on and they run off to have sex.

Horribly horribly written sex.

Thankfully the scene is short. And by I short I mean WTF short.

The chapter ends with Alec and Rue making a promise to try to make things work. And if the story had ended there, it could kind of squeak into romance. But it doesn’t.

Instead the story ends with Rue, Jack, and Sean going on a talk show and talking about their life.

And here’s the final line.

Yep...

Honestly, Sean’s story arc was the most developed and compelling. But when a secondary character’s plot takes over the core plot of your romantic leads, there is something wrong.

Unfortunately, I am literally running out of room so I’ll sum up in another post where I talk about the most salient problems.

If you’re enjoying these reviews, you can buy us a kofi.

#romance novels #romance reviews #new adult romance #billionaire romance #contemporary romance #faleena hopkins #cockygate #musician romance #that's not how it works #gods i hate this book #stab this book with a spoon #part four #I'm almost done #I promise #book review

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