#this is kind of an example of that

[ot3]

i love the artistic stylings of studio ghibli as much as anyone else does but im kind of sick of anything with like vivid environments and big blue skies being branded as ghibliesque. because its like. you know where else you can hypothetically find some vivid environments with big blue skies? my friend the great and wonderful outdoors are here for you

#in general just assuming all media is drawing from The Most Popular Example Of A Thing #rather than being like hey maybe both these things took inspiration from the same parts of our world #just feels kind of unfair and reductive a lot of the time #not to say its bad when something IS inspired by ghibli but its kind of the professional version of being asked 'wow is that anime'

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[hughmanbean]

It's Complicated

Danny's in Gotham, Clockwork "for the good of the timeline" (he just likes seeing them tiny) turns Dan and Ellie about 7-12 ish and Jack and Maddie are off terrorizing the vampires in Romania.

Vlad has been both dragged along and is somewhat stalking Danny via 1. trying to make things right with him and attempting to actually Parent His Kids and to get Danny to stop lording it over his head. And 2. trying to also not get obliterated by the two little tykes by acting like, well, himself to Danny.

Jason is very interested in the new neighbor, for reasons that are Completely Professional and hold No Romantic Intentions. So he does a little digging. For security, of course.

He comes out of it horrified.

#dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #dc x dp #dcxdp #Danny is mama #As is mandatory #danielle phantom #dan phantom #dead on main #good parents jack and maddie #vlad plasmius #misunderstanding #jason todd #Should I add some examples of Vlad Danny and the tykes creating horrible misunderstandings? #I kind of want to

[cleolinda]

Teamsters union leaders hailed the deal, which now heads to rank-and-file workers for a vote, for its “historic” wage gains, and UPS called the pact a “win-win-win” for employees, the company and customers.

“UPS has put $30 billion in new money on the table as a direct result of these negotiations,” Teamsters President Sean O'Brien said in a statement Tuesday. “This contract sets a new standard in the labor movement and raises the bar for all workers.”

Under the new deal, 22.4 drivers would be reclassified as regular drivers and see their pay adjusted accordingly. UPS will also be prevented from requiring drivers to work overtime on their scheduled days off.

Also included in the five-year contract deal are what the union called “historic” wage increases. Current full- and part-time union workers are guaranteed a $2.75 hourly pay increase this year, the Teamsters said, amounting to a $7.50 hourly increase through the duration of the contract. Pay for existing and starting part-time workers — which UPS and Teamsters leadership described as the last hurdle for contract — will be raised to at least $21 per hour immediately, and will advance to $23 per hour.

This includes the air conditioning that had already been agreed on. The workers won.

#ups strike #strikes #I know people have kind of been rooting for the disruption that strikes bring #disruption can be necessary! #but the point of the disruption is TO GET THESE THINGS #this is a good example for other industries: give workers what they deserve and disruption can be averted

[egophiliac]

What was your favorite of the flashbacks in Silver’s walk?

the acorn bracelet is VERY good, but I really really love Malleus humming (hummalleus? hummus?) to Silver. especially now that the song has Context. >:) we are in a soup of angst and I'm here with a spoon in each hand and a silly straw that leads directly to my brain.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #(sorry for being a while i was taking a bit of a socials break) #i think this is the same scene that opens with lilia singing meleanor's lullaby to silver #before malleus walked through the door and lilia went 'here have a baby BYEEEE' #mmm yes. delightful. #and i know i've already talked about it but malleus' immediate reaction being 'gross. what is this.' is still great #sometimes he really is just a dumb teenager and i love it #i also love the spoon scene a lot for being kind of the ur-example of cute fluffy ao3 domestic diasomnias. but that's in sebek's map so #(i think most of the domestic life stuff is actually in sebek's) #(all that sugar-sweetness would dissolve under silver's tears)

[violent138]

Superbat parenting babies would be a breeze in my humble opinion. Bruce's medically well-versed enough and immune to even enhanced interrogation levels of sleeplessness, and loves kids and would probably be happy reading them stories to sleep every night.

And Clark could always tell if the kid swallowed fridge magnets/batteries/something else. Also, tell me which baby wouldn't enjoy Clark's presence and calmness. They'd be like little hamsters cajoled by the steadiness of his hold.

#I think Clark has demonstrated pretty great parenting and he's also immensely kind while balancing out certain rules #And toddlers would beg to be flown around. #maybe this is too optimistic #considering that B's track record with kids isn't perfect #but I genuinely believe they have a decent shot #I feel like the gentleness and kindness of Thomas from Batman Begins is kind of a good example of what I'd picture a calmer Bruce's mentall #stable parenting to be like #batman #superman #superbat #clark kent #bruce wayne #and I'm also willfully ignoring some stuff/chalking it up to questionable writing/can't be bothered to make sense of everything that's cano

[transmascissues]

if you had to live even one day as a biological homosexual male (don't play dumb or smart, you know what i'm referring to), you'd fucking k!ll yourself once you realize how miserable it is.

right, because trans people have famously never had to survive being so miserable that we feel like we’d be better off dead, and transphobia totally doesn’t compound with homophobia to make life even harder. i mean, fuck intersectionality, right? obviously being trans on top of being gay would make things easier, not harder. silly me. my stupid little female brain just can’t possibly comprehend how hard your life must be. of course i would be too fragile and weak to survive the hardships that you and only you experience. really, we should all give you a standing ovation for surviving more suffering than anyone else on the entire earth has ever had to experience.

…anyway, this whole stolen valor angle of anti-transmasculinity is weird as hell. big “back in my day we had to walk to school up hill both ways in the snow” energy. have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, you don’t have some sort of monopoly on suffering? because believe it or not, finding community with other people who have faced similar hardships is actually a really healing experience when you let yourself do it, and would definitely be far healthier than whatever the fuck you’ve got going on here. i’d strongly recommend trying it sometime. if you get the stick out of your ass, you’ll realize we’re in this together, and that’s an incredibly powerful thing.

#HEAVY sarcasm in the first paragraph if you couldn’t tell #anon hate #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #tehmism #<- gonna start using that for posts highlighting this kind of anti-transmasculine cis gay man #i feel like it deserves its own tag

[sparrowlucero]

Even if a creator is a bad person it's still okay to like their work. People need to mind their own business.

Honestly it's not really that sort of situation. I'll actively defend Steven Moffat here.

There was a huge hate movement for him back in the early 2010s - which, in retrospect, formed largely because he was running 2 of the superwholock shows at once, one of which went through extremely long hiatuses* and the other of which was functionally an adaptation of an already well regarded show**, making him subject to a sort of double ire in the eyes of a lot of fandom people. Notably, his co-showrunner, Mark Gatiss, is rarely mentioned and much of his work is still attributed to Moffat (and yes, this includes that Hbomberguy video. Several of "Steven Moffat's bad writing choices" were not actually written by him, they were Gatiss.)

People caricatured the dude into a sort of malicious, arrogant figure who hated women and was deliberately mismanaging these shows to spite fans, to the point where people who never watched them believe this via cultural osmosis. It became very common to take quotes from him out of context to make them look bad***, to cite him as an example of a showrunner who hated his fans, someone who sabotaged his own work just to get at said fans, someone who was too arrogant to take criticism, despite all of this being basically a collective "headcanon" formed on tumblr. Some if it got especially terrible, like lying about sexual assault (I don't mean people accused him of sexual assault and I think they're making it up, I mean people would say things like "many of his actresses have accused him of sexual assault on set" when no such accusations exist in the first place. This gets passed around en masse and is, in my opinion, absolutely rancid.)

On top of that a ton of the criticism directed at the shows themselves is, personally, just terrible media criticism. So much of it came from assuming a very hostile intent from the writer and just refusing to engage with the text at all past that.

Like some really common threads you see with critique of this writer's work, especially in regards to Doctor Who since that's the one I'm most familiar with:

A general belief that his lead characters were meant to be ever perfect self inserts, and so therefore when they act shitty or arrogant or flawed in any way, that's both reflective of the author and meant to be viewed as positive or aspirational.

An overarching thesis that his characters are "too important" in the narrative due to the writer's arrogance and self obsession

A lot of focus on the writer personally "attacking" the fans or making choices primarily out of spite.

A tendency to treat the show being different to what it's adapting as inherently bad and hostile towards the original

Just generally very little consideration of the themes, intent, etc.

This one's a little more nebulous and doesn't apply to all critique but a lot of it, especially recently, is clearly by people who haven't seen the show in like 10 years and their opinion is largely formed secondhand through like, "discourse nostalgia". Which. you know. bad.

I think these are just weird and nonsensical ways to engage with a work of fiction. I also think it's really sad to see the show boiled down to this because that era of who is, in my opinion, very thematically rich and unique among similar shows, and I hate that it's often dismissed in such a paltry way.

This isn't to say people aren't allowed to critique Steven Moffat or anything, but the context in which he basically became The Devil™ to a large portion of fandom and is still remembered in a poor light is very tied to this perfect storm of fan culture and I just don't agree with a ton of it.

* I'm sure most people have seen the way long running shows and hiatuses will cause people to fall out with a show, with some former fans turning around and joining a sort of "anti fandom" for it while it's still airing. That happened with both these shows. ** Doctor Who will change it's entire writing staff, crew, and cast every few years, and with that comes a change in style, tone, theme - the old show basically ends and is replaced by a new show under the same title. As Steven Moffat's era was the first of these handovers for the majority of audiences, you can imagine this wasn't a well loved move for many fans. *** I know for a fact most people have not sought out the sources for a lot of these quotes to check that they read the same in context because 1) most of them were deleted years ago and are very difficult to find now and 2) many of them do actually make sense in the context of their respective interviews

#and yeah i think the hbomberguy video is kind of bad #I can pull up examples but a lot of what he's saying is very rooted in this sort of critique #maybe most egregiously he sometimes just explains something very poorly or outright incorrectly to make it seem worse or more nonsensical #ex. saying a scene in doctor who 'steals a huge chunk of the plot' when it's less than 30 seconds long #saying two characters randomly start hanging out again while not mentioning the episode entirely dedicated to this #or the way her decision to keep hanging out with him is the emotional turning point of the entire season #etc etc etc.

[lyxchen]

Sometimes I think about queer love and get overwhelmed with all the joy and happieness I'm feeling and it's one of the best feelings I have ever felt <3

#like for example i'll look at a picture of two guys kissing or holding hands and i just get so happy for them that they get to be happy and #in love!! #or i see a video of a trans person talking about their gender and am so happy for them because they get to be themself in whatever way they #want!! #idk #i love queerness #any kind of queerness makes me so happy for every queer person being able to live in that queerness #no matter how hidden or open <3 #queer #lea's random thoughts

[cup-noodle]

People reading Hunger Games as a pessimistic and misanthropic work makes me so mad. Ms Collins didn’t base a whole trilogy on the transformative power of kindness for y’all to disrespect her like that.

Like, I see it, THG is bleak as hell in places. But it’s also just about as far from ‘anti-humanity’ as one can get. Yeah, there’s bad people. That’s the point. We’ve all got the capacity to be bad but we can also be good. And that choice is what it’s all about imo - that it’ll always be worth it to do the human thing. Bury that tribute, smile to a child, give bread to your neighbour… it’s all the same and it’s all worth it. Not because of the circumstances but despite them.

#(clarification/examples in the notes btw!!) #choosing kindness for the sake of kindness >>> #that’s everything to me about those books #the hunger games #hunger games #katniss everdeen #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #catching fire #susanne collins #everlark #haymitch abernathy #hopepunk #hopeposting #noodle rambles

[v1-kisser]

Proship dni for my comfort thanks.

I feel like everyone portrays F/Os as these romantic, perfect all around lovers, and while that's all well and good! I prefer F/Os who are flawed, who don't always say the right things. Who can sometimes be petty or selfish. F/Os who have a habit of seeing conflict as a contest on who can talk the loudest, instead of a conversation. F/Os who run out of patience sometimes and have to go cool off mid-conversation, even if they're right. F/Os who struggle to communicate their emotions.

I find comfort in the idea of a relationship where mistakes like that are allowed and given room to breathe. A relationship where, no matter what the conflict is, the walls eventually come down. Maybe it takes hours, maybe days until you're both calm enough to work it out. Maybe it takes several conversations to solve it, but each end in Hey. I love you. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

You're not perfect, and neither is your F/O. That's okay. That can be beautiful, too. There's not a hug that's more comforting than the firm, tearful one after reaching mutual understanding. Knowing that you didn't mess it up too much, you didn't break things permanently. You couldn't if you tried. They missed you... and you've got some serious affection to catch up on.

#.thoughts #selfship #selfship imagines #selfshipping #f/o imagines #LeV1 #Yes this is about V1 and I... #We're really different- personality wise- with starkly different views on lots of things- violence for example #It can be kind and understanding with me but I often forget that I'm the exception and not the rule #And get upset when we meet others and it immediately threatens them and treats them like they're pests #I think its original purpose as a war machine should NOT be a ''get out of jail free'' card for being an asshole #And V1 uh... Disagrees. To put it simply 🙃 <- Palpable frustration #Anyway I'll quit rambling now #I still love my machine #proship dni #comship dni #safeship #safeshipping #.banger posts

[radiantmists]

so murderbot assumes that three offered its armor because it doesn't understand that the armor can belong to it and thinks mb taking the armor is just good resource allocation.

but if it assumes it doesnt have control over the armor, it would probably let whoever it sees as in charge (maybe ART?) handle it, or at least make the suggestion directly to that person. even newly freed in NE, it's willing to give its security advice (on hostage situations being undesirable) even if it doesn't expect to be taken seriously. it doesn't make sense to me that it would have so much trouble expressing the offer if it were just a security suggestion.

and then i think about how murderbot says later in the book that even if three felt fondly toward its fellow SecUnits, the govmod would prevent it from expressing that care or knowing it was returned.

so-- imagine you're three, and you havent yet internalized that you can just say "i care about you and dont want you to get hurt" to another SecUnit; but you can make sure that it has every resource it might need; you could probably do that even before the govmod was hacked.

you can't explain why, but you can hope that the gesture is explanation enough, and you can look for similar caretaking gestures in return; things like being given code and advice to do your job better, and being reassured when you express that you're finding said job difficult.

i think *murderbot* isn't aware of this language of care, because it hasnt had much opportunity to bond with other constructs. but three probably is, and probably knows how to read between the lines and guess that murderbot is starting to care about it, too.

#system collapse #system collapse spoilers #murderbot spoilers #the murderbot diaries #secunit three #maybe this is obvious #but i just got really caught on that bit abt 3 not being able to know if its feelings were returned #bc on the one hand its a really heartbreaking example of how fucked up the governor module is #but it also feels like a bit too much of an absolute #if mb could write a hack of the govmod surely three + its fellows could do a few unnecessary but kind things for each other #its just that they could never *confirm* #still hellish but not the total isolation mb seems to imagine #murderbot diaries

[uncanny-tranny]

Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...

...and also being able to read things like THIS:

#art #crochet #fiber art #described images #image description in alt #used a crochet pattern for this because it's just INSANE #see i can recognize some of these stitch markings but i haven't done them all yet #i actually kind of prefer the diagram pattern because it actually shows you the shape and the way stitches compliment the piece #with a 'normal' pattern (e.g. 1 dc in fifth ch from hook ch 2 4 dc) i understand it sure but. it isn't the same. #i was reading somebodys recommendations for tapestry yarn and understood all the abbreviations and what they mean #plus i feel like diagrams can be a great way to teach you not only how stitches look but how they contribute to the larger piece #one of my crochet proficiency goals is to be able to look at a piece and know instantly what made it #*cue me at the store analyzing a crochet piece so i can replicate it for 5× the cost* #if you're selling a crocheted piece for like $20 then it's my imperative to replicate it and not buy it 🫡 #i think that has the same moral implication as like... 'proplifting' #did crochet as the example because thats what i do as a fiber art. if theres a similar thing for knit/weave/ect then DROP IT BELOW I BEG YO #i want to learn all the lovecraftian languages of the fiber artists <3 #i feel like describing the image in exactly what stitch marking indicates what would have been too much so hopefully the explanation as to.. #...what the diagram DOES and how it visually indicates a pattern was helpful <3

[thottybrucewayne]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, Punk is a music-based subculture and isn't inherently anarchist/commie/leftist. Yes, there is a long history of very political punks and yes, people who care work hard to get skinheads and racists out of their spaces. But that isn't universal. Y'all gonna get hurt going into these spaces if you think everyone there is progressive and kind. Hell, even the "anarchist" punks have a lot of racist/sexist/ableist tendencies themselves. One goodnight white pride patch does not reading actual theory make.

#thotty speaks #I love me some spider punk but he's like one example of a very specific kind of punk he's not the baseline please understand

[corseque]

The coolest part of the DAO Toolkit are these comments that the writers made for how the lines should be delivered. This is about Morrigan reacting to Alistair hearing all the people died. He apparently cried like a baby... ;o; ;o; ;o;

there are so many notes like this. I don't remember the same kind of notes for lines in the Inquisition files, but those were so hard to look at in comparison that maybe I just wasn't looking hard enough?

#Alistair and Morrigan are such a good example of two hot characters that have zero romantic charisma together #it's almost fascinating to witness #I also have been thinking about how I think Morrigan's outfit kind of does her a disservice #she's a weird outcast homeschooled kid from a swamp - I'm not sure why she looks like she's coming from a rave #Dragon Age #playing DA:O #DA replay #Morrigan #Alistair Theirin

[the-badger-mole]

I feel like people see takes calling Aang a Nice Guy ™️©️®️ and erroneously think that means people don't like him because he doesn't have "edge". That's not true. When people call characters like Aang a Nice Guy ™️©️®️ , what we mean is that he's transactionally nice instead of being kind. Personally, I love a character who's kind. For instance, I adore Katara. She is genuinely kind. She's a nice character (I mean, she also has edge, but...). I also love Courtney from As Told by Ginger and Marshall from HIMYM and Lucy from Narnia. I love kind characters. Aang is not that.

Aang is cheerful. He's...pleasant enough? I guess? But not much else. He has a smile for everyone and he likes having fun. None of that makes him truly kind. He isn't very empathetic. He doesn't go out of his way to help if there's nothing in it for him. He'll lie his way out of an inconvenient situation. He's just a Nice Guy ™️©️®️ with big, wide eyes and a cute lil' giggle. I'm not falling for it. Sorry not sorry.

#atla #anti aang #a real Nice Guy ™️��️®️ #i saw someone saying that people don't like nice characters and aang was an example #that's not true #people like kind characters #aang isn't kind #he's nice but he wants something back for it