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compassroseproductions · 4 years

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Everyone Dice: Session 002 - Sewer Surfin’

Art by @darkthare

[Image Description: The party of Everyone Dice is in or near a river after their foray into the sewers. Foremost and leftmost, Alois is talking to fish and feeding them from her trail rations. She is human, nude, and freckled, with long black hair that protects her modesty. In the center foreground, just to the right of Alois, Cordelia is rinsing her hair and watching Alois curiously. She is a half elf, and also nude and freckled, and her right arm bears an intricate sleeve tattoo that resembles an eye with patterns and music notes around it. In the midground and at the rightmost edge, Shay is tying her hair back into a ponytail. She is a half elf, with long black hair, and she is wading in her crop top and pants. She has intricate tattoos on her wrists. In the far background, framed in the space between Cordelia and Shay, Zaala and Burnie are sitting close to each other on the shore, conversing quietly.

End Image Description.]

Everyone Dice: Session 002 – Sewer Surfin’

“Welcome back everyone to the second session of Everyone Dice.”

The session opened with a discussion about the Itch.io Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality which offered over 1000 games for a minimum price of $5 with all proceeds split between the NAACP and the Community Bail Fund. We also talked about Black Hole Entertainment Comics who featured Lynn in their first edition of Lift Off!

(The Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality ended with over $8 million raised!)

Kacey then quickly recaps the events of session one finishing with the party above the sewer grate.

“Who is going down the ladder first?”

Scottie: “Me!”

Erin: “Alois.”

May: “Cordelia is definitely last.”

The Party decides on their order as: Zaala, Alois, Shay, Cordelia and Burnie. As soon as Zaala’s feet touch the stone, she hears a gasp and sees a figure in tattered clothes flee into the sewers. Everyone is quickly distracted by who does and doesn’t have Darkvision (only Alois, Cordelia and Burnie do).

Scottie: “I’m a goliath, goliaths don’t have Darkvision, what do you want from me?”

Erin: “A likely story…”

Scottie: “I get to be harder to kill.”

Alois and Shay, halfway down the ladder, also see this figure and the three take off in quick pursuit. Cordelia and Burnie follow from a distance. Alois wild shapes into a boar to match Shay’s speed of 40 feet. Shay closes the distance between herself and the figure using step of the wind to push off of the walls. A gap in the path covered by rickety planks proves no trouble for everyone except for Cordelia and Burnie who slip into the muck beneath. Zaala stops to help them even when it means giving up the chase.

Scottie: “Given who Zaala is, she would be more interested in helping Burnie... and then also Cordelia.”

With a natural twenty, Shay closes the gap and tackles the target to the ground. Close behind, Alois piles on top of the figure and Shay. The party is now able to see that the figure is a short individual in dark tattered clothes that haven’t seen a wash in days or even weeks. Pockmarks and sweat cover his face.

Lynn tries to argue her case of using mending to remove the stains from Burnie’s skirt. “What if I cut the skirt where the stains are and then use mending, would that work?”

In a soft form of torture, Alois (still as a boar) begins blowing into the man’s ears while Shay questions him. He claims to have just been doing maintenance, but our insight reveals he’s obviously lying. He’s not wearing a uniform or insignia and tried to say he had not seen the zombies around him.

Alois manages to find an iron key in the man’s pockets. Shay ties him up and finds out his name (as far as he knows) is Tristan. Burnie tries to talk calmly to him, while everyone else offers help through intimidation. Tristan reveals he is in the sewers on a job, “to make that bastard Ulrich pay” but doesn’t really know the specifics of why. He was hired by Abigail Ulrich, the lord’s sister and in return she will cure his gravely ill sister.

Burnie suggests the party take him before the lord and Cordelia questions the point, but eventually agrees when Alois claims to have a secret plan. Zaala tosses the bound Tristan over her shoulder and leads the group back to the town square. A small crowd has gathered there, and a guard questions the party. After Alois siphons “an unnatural amount” of blood from Tristan and it follows the party in a fine mist. He is handed over to the guards.

Burnie: “Question, sir, do you know if there’s perhaps a launderer of sorts open…this late?” Guard: “A launderer…. This isn’t the capital missy. We’ve got a place where you can wash your clothes. No one’s gonna do it for you.”

Cordelia dumps her shoes in the sewer and the party decides to clean in the nearby river. Zaala rests on the bank. Alois and Cordelia are completely naked which draws curious glances from passers-by. Burnie and Shay are still dressed to some degree but are washing in the water.

Burnie: “Hello Shay, how goes the cleaning?”

Shay: “Um…. It’s going…”

The two discuss Shay’s homeland of Urtu. Shay calls it boring and dislikes the rules about how people can live. That is the reason she left, to be able to live the way she wants too (though exactly what that means is left vague). The bond over their shared travels and the new experiences they’ve had along the way. Shay is impressed by the prevalence and variety of magic outside of Urtu.

Alois uses talk to animals to converse with the small silver fish in the river. She easily befriends them with food. The noises of this conversation sound like soft waves and bubbling brooks, which captivates Cordelia. The fish tell Alois about the ‘rotten ones’ they’ve seen travelling nearby, coming from the west. They make a deal: Alois brings more food if the fish find out more information.

Burnie: “I am endlessly fascinated by your magic Alois”

Alois: “Oh neat.”

Zaala attempts to discuss Alois’ shape-changing abilities but finds the conversation difficult to progress. In Zaala’s tribe children are not gendered and are able to choose their own later in life.

Out-of-character the party gets distracted by how many secrets we’re all keeping.

Erin: “Session 49: We find out all of Alois’ secrets. Then Session 50 Cordelia betrays us.”

Scottie: “I thought session 50 we find out Cordelia’s secrets, not that she betrays us.”

Erin: “It’s both, it’s both. The secret is that she’s going to betray us.”

Back on track, dressed, and clean, the party walks back to the Lord’s manor. Roderic opens the door, surprised to see them so late, but lets them into the meeting room. A minute later Lord Ulrich joins them. Alois explains her plan. Using the siphoned blood, she can track Tristan and suggests they let him escape and follow him to Abigail’s base of operations. Lord Ulrich is unsure whether to trust the party over this plan and first wants to gather as much information as possible from Tristan. Burnie requests the Lord find Tristan’s sister so something may be done to help her illness, and he agrees. The conversation over, Lord Ulrich leaves and the party notices he is no longer carrying the walking cane with him.

A brief mid-session break happens.

The party heads back to the Blue Willow Inn and finds a table for dinner. Cordelia begins playing a soft tune under the party’s conversation. Alois calls Thana over and asks for “a bunch of kale soaked in saltwater”. Despite her confusion Thana agrees to have it ready in the morning. Alois then asks for a dinner recommendation as she’s “in the mood for anything”, they settle on six chicken pot pies which she’s never had before. Burnie orders 1 pot pie for herself and Thana offers to just bring a tray of pies for the group. Cordelia is not hungry but amused by the situation and insists on “all the pot pies you have”.

Thana: “All of them?”

Cordelia: “All the pot pies!”

Zaala: “Are you going to pay for that Cordelia?”

Thana: “That was going to be my next question”

Cordelia: “That depends how many ‘all of the pot pies’ is”.

Eventually they land on 13 pot pies for the table and some venison for the homesick Zaala (it’s not moose but it’s close). The ale is disappointingly weak for Alois as she’s used to Bralian moonshine. Zaala tries Burnie’s fruity wine.

Zaala: “It’s not…the worst alcohol I’ve tried.”

Burnie raises the cup in cheers “Well, to not the worst!”

Alois enjoys her pies and shovels them down. Burnie tries to make conversation while avoiding the day's events as they’re not “dinner appropriate conversation”. Shay mentions tackling Tristan earlier and she and Zaala begin discussing the combat training they both undertook. Shay was not allowed to officially ‘train’ in her homeland but watched others and taught herself. Shay says she wouldn’t be upset to go home but doesn’t really see the need, for the moment her place is the road. Burnie is listening to Cordelia play.

Burnie: “I’m curious Cordelia, do you draw your magic from the music you play?

Cordelia: “Yes, to some degree. Though it’s more that the music is the magic.”

Burnie: “I think I’ve heard of that before, but I’ve never met one such as yourself, or such as Alois. Honestly, I’ve never met any people like any of you before”.

Zaala: “It is my understanding that what I do is, not unheard of necessarily, but rare”.

Cordelia: “I am the only one like me, so I’m not surprised”.

Lynn, very suspicious: “The only one…hmm”

May: “Stop being suspicious of me!”

Lynn: “You say suspicious shit all the time”

AJ: “Now you know how I feel!”

Alois gets the party back on track and in character by asking “So, what’s with all those…clothes, Bunny?” Burnie was simply raised to dress that way ‘like a proper lady’. Cordelia laughs at this response.

Alois: “Why though?”

Burnie: “I’m afraid I don’t understand the question, it was just the way I was raised.”

Alois: “Yeah, but why?”

Cordelia: “She never learnt to question that.”

Burnie: “I’ve learned to question it, it’s just the way that things are done”

Zaala: “I think it looks quite nice!”

Cordelia (mockingly): “Like a proper lady”.

The conversation shifts to the different ways of dressing people are used too. Alois is not used to people like Burnie. Zaala’s people mostly dress like her as the cold doesn’t bother them. Shay dresses similarly but is used to a warmer climate. Zaala also says the raven feathers in her ears come from her mothers’ companion, as the raven is her family’s symbol. Alois proudly shares the wolf-pelt she’s wearing is her first trophy. Shay is surprised but impressed by this.

Alois shows off her bear trap: “You should have seen it, I caught it with one of these initially but it broke free. Now that I had some of its blood, I could track it and it was so fun! Took a few days but I got it!”

Shay: “I mean…yeah it sounds like fun. Camping? I bet it was like camping but you know, tracking an animal.”

Burnie inquires if blood-magic is common where Alois is from. Alois just repeats that she doesn’t understand the questions until Burnie gives up. Alois asks Cordelia what sort of music she plays, to which she responds, “All music”. Alois wants a demonstration.

Cordelia: “You want me to play you all of the songs?”

Alois: “Well you said you knew all of the songs.”

Cordelia: “Alright! I will do all of the songs, at once, for you.

Cordelia stands up and using both the lyre and her voice performs a cacophony of sound. It is unpleasant but after the initial shock, a melody forms within releasing a uniquely beautiful sound. Alois: “I’m sure it’s going to sound even better when I hear all of them separately”.

On the topic of music Zaala reveals she has a flute but cannot play it very well. It was beautifully carved from bone by Zaala’s sibling, Veleo. Their brother, Nakein, was the musician in the family, not Zaala. Her people find what they are good at and do it, for her that is protecting people and weaving. “Weaving is a good reminder that my hands are useful for more than just hurting those that would hurt mine.”

The party finishes dinner and eventually retire to their rooms for the night. Before heading to bed, Burnie says a prayer in privacy (Zaala takes a walk). She retrieves a collection of bones from and lays them out before her. The ceremony ends but she keeps her head bowed and softly speaks.

Burnie: “I hope you had a good day today. I hope you’re doing alright. I noticed earlier that you were with me when I healed shay in combat. Do you know her?

Fingers brush against her arm in response.

Burnie: “Do you trust her?”

A soft chuckle accompanies the bones as they shift to indicate “yes.”

Burnie: “Do I have something to be jealous of?”

More laughter, the bones return to their place.

Burnie: “Alright I understand. I love you”

A soft kiss is placed on her forehead and she finishes up for the night.

As Cordelia lays in bed, she falls into sleep enveloped by darkness on all sides. After a few moments it parts but she finds herself in a darker version of her room. Pulled outside, she rises and opens the door, only to step into the town square. The sounds of activity swirl around her but she is alone there. At its centre, in front of the beacon, a metal musical stand has grown from the ground itself. She approaches and with each step the sounds grow louder until a deafening peak. An invisible conductor taps against the stand, stopping the chorus and calling coloured lights to erupt in the distance. A large book of music appears on the stand, its pages blown over by the wind. A strange voice, constructed with a thousand other sounds speaks to her, saying simply “the chorus calls”. Cordelia takes the book, lands on a tune titled The Minuet of Mending. She begins to play but upon the first note, wakes up again in her bed.

The party awakes in the morning to the knock of a guard, called to talk with Lord Ulrich as soon as possible. They get dressed and ready before heading off to meet him. He greets them at the door, carrying his walking cane once again. Tristan was killed in the night by Roderic, who has now fled to The Geist lands west of town. He had a noose tied to his neck and was strangled. The party agrees to chase Roderic west. Ulrich offers a wagon of supplies to help them and asks for haste. Burnie asks if Tristan could have become a ghost, but the barrier of the beacon prevents undead being created within the town. Alois and Burnie decide to conduct an autopsy on Tristan’s body and leave town in the afternoon.

Session two ends here.

#everyone dice #dnd art #dnd #dnd livestream #dungeons & dragons #dungeons & dragons livestream #everyone dice recap #compass rose productions

13 notes · View notes

renaer-is-allegedly-hot · 4 years

Text

session 12 notes

one day . one day i swear i will fix this formatting but today is not that day

Lol late is my brand

Let's go

The halflings can stack up under a trench coat

Adam has disguise self

Aerana and asyna don't need to do anything kinda

Now we're talking abt the road to el dorado

We just killed loser boy

Kenku got info from adam, cel and theo

What are we doing lmao

Adam is jiggling the small room's door and we go inside the room

Inside looks like an office, shelf w pickled body parts + cataloguing what the parts r and what they do

They were running away lmao ok

Yes we're still salty about this

"different interpretations of charm person" - jacob, 2020

Body part stuff

No halfling writing system in waterdeep

Dwarf toes, elven ears

Magic items ? Cel rolls perception 22

Weird jar w dull amber colored liquid, don't know if it's magical but noticed; unlabeled

"the jar of necrotic pee" - jacob, 2020

Smells like aloe

Adam smells his fire-resistant potion and it smells more like burnt ash

Smth else cel found has strange engravings

Just looks like metal bar

Boxy squarish iron bar abt the size of a halfling; it's strong but surprisingly light

Adam picks it up and hits a wall w it

Adam rolls for attack, 4

Nothing rlly happens

Makes a ringing sound

None of us can read giant

Looks rlly strange, written in blocky linear runes

A few things on it that stick out like engravings of ppl

Big bearded humanoids but small and fine so difficult to make out

Adam rolled 17 for investigation through files

Some stuff related to running wig shop; shop was at least somewhat a legitimate business

Notes abt billing for criminal organizations and guilds

Some ref to meeting w xant middlemen who would collect bodies

Names

Noska

Hired gorrick to track us down ??

N ?????

Adam looking for a key in the desk, doesn't find it

Head to the chest, adam tries to open

Not locked

A bunch of teeth

It's a mimic, adam has to roll damage

Adam is hit

Adam takes 10 damage

We're looking at diff things around the room and then hear a screech of pain as adam gets bitten

Slams down on adam's hand and four little eyes pop up and stare as it eats adam's hand

Mimic takes 9 damage as adam explodes

Cel shoots an arrow into the eye

22 to hit, 8 damage

Adam uses cutting words

-1d6

"hey fuck"

Adam could try to pull his hands away

Adam pulls his hands out

Adam bends down to it and takes a ration out of his backpack

"dom I'm gonna bend down to it"

The chest has closed back

Adam is going to throw rations instead, dex check

13; doesn't open so adam drops food on its head

Chest sits there looking at adam and eventually out of the side of the chest a weird stretchy amoeba-like arm comes out of it, takes the food and throws it in its mouth

"who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy !! Who's a good chest !!" adam, 2020

Adam takes out all his five rations and makes a trail leading out of the room

Chomper ? Maybe

It looks uninterested and its eyes have shut

Looks exactly like a chest now and hasn't moved; still has an arrow but just looks like a normal chest

It's a small chest that's pickuppable

Adam wants to walk his chest

Adam casts sleep on the chest

7d8s

27hp

When adam casts sleep the chest doesn't move, adam rolls perception 5

Adam tries to pick it up from behind v carefully from the bottom

It's kinda stuck to the floor and the wall; doesn't appear willing to budge

Asyna is still ape!asyna

Tries picking it up from behind like adam

Rolls a 6; won't move

One of its creepy tendrils sticks out and hits ape!asyna

10 bludgeoning damage; ape!asyna basically got slapped but now stuck to the chest

It's kind of loose now

Ape!asyna rolls a 20 and yanks it off the wall, now just dangling off asyna's arm and it's heavier than asyna thought it was

Feels dense

Adam is gonna try and tie its mouth shut

"he kinda starts flailing around a bit" dom, 2020

"aw he likes his new leash" jacob, 2020

Jacob gets hit again

Ape!asyna is gonna try and pull it off, 17 and gets off

Large clump of fur comes off and it's painful

adam "I'm going to try and use centrifugal force to swing it over my head"

"make a strength check" dom, 2020

Rolls 17

Slams it on desk, doesn't let go, nature check adam has no idea what it is

At some point the chest drops off, we stand back and adam casts shatter

11 damage

Chest kind of melts into the floor almost like it deflated, starts snaking way across room until it finds a hole and slithers up and disappears

"fuck you too chompi" adam 2020

Where it dissolves is 20 gold

"n I c e . That was worth the four spell slots" adam, 2020

Adam disguises self and turns into his dad

Adam is a tiefling

Dad is not a tiefling

Taller, dark black hair but not curly, short on the sides + floof forward

Looks more confident than adam

Same freckles

No one knew adam had freckles

Look p similar overall

Sounds the same as adam when he talks

He's a human

We don't know it's adam's dad

"a real dilf" dom, 2020, about adam's dad

"not like your REAL DAD, JACOB, JESUS" dom, 2020

Now we don't have time to unpack ALL OF THAT

Gonna find a hotel or smth

Except gotta disguise selves first

In the wig shop there is any wig u could possibly desire

Some mounted beards

Can't tell if any of the wigs r magical

I don't haAve magicccc :(

Adam puts a blonde wig on the ape

I thought asyna un-aped

Asyna un-apes and disguises self as asyna

Theo takes a long brunette wig w a braid down the back

Cel wants to pretend to be adam's child

Gets a curly dark hair wig

Hammer pants

Cel theo and adam all have freckles

It's nighttime springtime in waterdeep; it's raining

Trades ward going to find a hotel

Avoid own houses for awhile

Going to nearest inn

Let's go to the yawning portal

It is an inn not just a bar

Typ is in fact in the trades ward

One room as the father and two daughters and one room as lesbian elves

Durnan's downstairs and is friends w mirt

We head over to typ

This ward is busier than others we've seen at this time of night

Walk over to side entrance of typ

It never shuts down; always ppl here

Familiar warmth as we approach

Bard competition

Ppl placing bets, drinking, sitting in booths

The rooms r upstairs

Adam calls himself lysander

"a room for me and my daughters"

They get a room on the third story

Room on the third floor

We rendezvous in adam's room

We hear a scream echo out from the well

Adam has two plans

One includes his pants

The pants plan is we track down the dude w the pants

Second includes him singing, waiting to get mugged by the zants

Get mercenary help ?

Pants is plan c

Durnan is plan a

Cel is portia

Theo is lavinia

The doors lock

Long rest? Long rest maybe later

Adam and cel go up to one of the goliaths

"hey there big friend"

He looks like a well-read person

Takes out honey and asks him if he knows what it is

O it's honey

"well there r means of finding this out . For a price"

How much per item - FIVE GOLD

Adam hands him 10 gold and the big rod

"this is a jar of ointment that was first created by the wizard kyogton" I have no idea what that wizard's name is but that's what it sounded like

A dose can be swallowed or applied to the skin and in addition to healing and rejuvenating health, any poison or disease it may have is instantaneously cured

Can't tell how many doses in it

It's v expensive, v rare

Now the stick and he looks uber interested in it

"hm , where did you find this"

"my dad's attic ,,, he's a hoarder"

"let's make a deception check with a capital d"

Nat 1

Adam tells this guy the whole thing and the guy nods

"this is a valuable piece . Would you be interested in parting with it"

Cloud giants made them so their servants could help them build their castles

It's an immovable rod

Writing speaks of ancient cloud giants that were war-inclined

Flat button on the end of it

He sticks it out into the air and presses the button; when he takes his hand away, the rod doesn't fall and it stays floating in the air

Adam grabs onto it but he can't move it

Anybody can push the button tho

Adam asks what the goliath is offering

Offers us 5,000 gold

Adam gets his name - woetheir ????

Woetheir frequents typ when he's here

They're going on a quest; were asked by the open lord to complete a task on the isle of chault

Adam's gonna go to bed

Cel's gonna take a bath

We take long rest

Durnan time

Adam gives durnan a quick rundown of what happened

"ayo what's poppin durnan long time no see my guy"

It's morning it's 9ish breakfast time

Doesn't give any indication whether or not he recognizes them

Adam asks for scrambled eggs and bacon

Adam's asking if he knows anything abt the xants

Theo asks durnan if there's somewhere more secluded they can talk

Gestures to one of the booths and theo cel adam go over

They're uh . Telling durnan everything p much

He has look of passive disinterest but slightly less disinterest the more of the story they tell

"how is mirt?"

"he has renaer and floon"

"he's let himself go"

The xants r v powerful; leadership inscrutable even to open lord herself

Prior, durnan didn't care abt open lord

Guesses whoever obtains the stone would b hunted by the city which could b problematic

Half a million gold dragons

Could get help outside the city ? Roots go deep but do not extend outwards

Flee or contact city officials

"I think theo has a crush on him" adam, 2020

Stone is likely being taken or was already taken to guild hq

We could bust into hq but probs bad idea

Durnan says he's sure anyone could break into xants hq

Lmao durnan sounds so weighed down by life

Every now and then he looks over to well

Durnan is basically saying friendship is magic

The xants don't often come to typ and don't draw swords there

They fear it and durnan

"what's the hole?" adam rolls for insight, dirty 20

Odd expression comes across durnan's face

Mixture of disgust and longing

Uh … disgust and longing … for a hole? Ok durnan

We don't have to talk abt that I guess

Cel asks durnan to send a message to mirt to let him know we're safe but probs not gonna see him for awhile

Apparently the xants aren't too particular abt their henchmen

He says ask the barkeep abt it

Passive perception

At some point durnan leaves and right as theo says that we hear a loud thump and someone says "cripes"

Jones ?

Cel looks under the table and there's jones

Cel drags him out

Theo has a new idea "hey guys let's not go through with using adam as bait yet"

Adam looks down at the goblin and threatens to make him deaf

Plan d is to eat jones

We take jones upstairs

Theo explains her new plan

If the stone is already at their hq

We go to them

Jones doesn't mess w the xants

Why is jones rhyming

What r we talking abt lmao oops I was looking at primary results

I'M SCREAMING I DIDN'T KNOW GOODSPACEGUY WAS 81

No one has asked us for info abt the stone ?

Lmao is this like @me abt what's his name

Jb nevercaught ???? Jp nevercaught ?????? Idk who he is

What's our goal

We gotta figure out what we wanna do ig

We just wanna know where the xants r otherwise we duct tape his mouth and tie him up

"consider it stroked and very, very much needed" jones, 2020

To the dock ward in a wrecked whale oh the wrecked whale

"not the erect whale" cel, 2020 ????

There's a knock at the door

There's no peephole

Asyna asks "who is it"

HAHAHHAHAHA

MARGUERITE LMAO

"uh I work at the bar downstairs uh durnan had some - he wanted to speak to the drow"

I'm screwed

He has page hat on

"first durnan said we could stay as long as we'd like"

And he was offered money by this guy to speak to me

There's an elven man w v long and stringy hair, pointed nose and pointy ears

Looks rlly skinny and physically weak

Looking over scrolls

"guess who"

What the fuck

Nareel ??? naREEL????? WHO THE FUCK IS NAREEL???????

I don't kNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING !!!!!!

The stone fascinates him

Offering us partial membership

Occasional encouragement to go on various missions

He has resources

Treasure and gold involved, but not for the weak-willed

Offering 500 gold for completion of a task

They have captured a high-ranking member of the xants and tried to get info of him

More resilient than they thought he would be

They need him back in three days

Is this a roast session ???? Of aerana ???? When she dips to hang out with the other guy ???????

They're trying to figure out who her friend is

Jones wanted to be a painter

Adam is offering to have jones join us to maybe kill him??????

If he wants gold he has to go get it

They'll keep

"I'm gonna fill your goody bag real good so you better keep your mouth shut" adam, 2020 to jones

Oh god I'm such an avoidant lmao

Oh god I don't

"these conversations will become more difficult as things become more difficult but I think for now that went as well as it could have possibly gone"

"you will find him in your basement"

wHICH BASEMENT

We're gonna go home

To the north ward we go

You go to the basement

The ropes look kinda weird

He's not tied with rope

They're metal bands looped around him

Metal bindings

Doesn't look like he's gonna get out of it

Adam and cel don't see anything out of the ordinary but have noticed things moved around a little bit

Dwarf w dark brown skin, white/gray beard, looks roughed up - not injured, just worse for wear

Adam has him make a wisdom saving throw

Adam charms him

Approaches him first

Adam starts massaging his shoulders

Jfdkaslfha then takes the gag off

"are you here to let me out?" the dwarf

"even better I'm here to spend some quality time with you" adam, 2020

Says he has to get back to the master

Master silgar must be fed

His sacred duty is to feed master silgar

Master silgar has a shimmering son what

"Shakes the oceans with a swish of his body"

In the beginning there was xanathar and then he said silgar should be the one they care for until the seas rise and destroy the city

Controls the eye of the xanathar as the eye of the xanathar control him

His name is ot stillgeer

Adam says his name is cain

Blasphemy for adam to propose bringing lord silgar to him

Lord silgar lives in a great temple

He's the high priest of silgar

We're telling him it's our summer home

Adam winks at everyone and we go upstairs

Adam casts second-level sleep on him

44hp puts him to sleep

Adam is gonna disguise-self a beard when the dwarf next wakes up

Stage it so it looks like he had been there for a month

Everyone changes their clothes

Tally marks on the wall

It's like late afternoon at this time

Adam tells him he woke up after 79 days, rolls for deception

Rolls a 24

Looks over and says "79 days"

"am I dead"

"no but the xanathar want you dead"

"I'm free"

23 for deception

Lord silgar is a fish? A fish ? A goldfish

Lord xanathar loves his goldfish more than anything

Ot has to replace the fish

19 mans is telling the truth

Not really any sign we're being watched when cel rolls for perception

We watch ot, take turns resting and surveilling our own house

Night comes

When asyna is on watch in the tower

Sees figures start making way across street to our house

6 humanoids start trying to break into the house

Glass shatters as one goes through a window

The tapestry was lord silgar

The goldfish has no connection to the koi fish asyna spoke to

Two objectives?

Find the stone

Or control the xanathar w a fish

The stone is a map to half a million gold

#12 #sn #dnd #wdh #d&d

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

im supposed to be working on uh literally anything else but instead i gotta get this outta my brain

tl;dr: slag is causing the Psychos to spread across the galaxy bc the Calypsos are using it to both brainwash their cultists and give them ‘special powers’. i mean, its not just slag, it’s eridian ruins/tech, too, but the Twins are utilizing slag the most. which explains the slagfalls and also the processed eridium everywhere still. im hoping sirens will help us cure this- starting with Krieg because slag/Psychos have some sort of connection to the other dimension, just like Sirens, but more messy. also this insanity from the slag/Psycho-ness is literally Mayhem and us fans are taking part in it- we’re the cult irl. plus, this game is gonna be about love and the relationships we have with the people we care about and that’s all the roses mean because i’m feeling s o f t tonight. tomorning. whatever maaaaan

“… among their fractured ramblings, it is tempting to try and find a deeper meaning…”

“[their madness] defies attempts at explanation or containment. from an isolated region of a single planet, to a nearby moon, to systems throughout every human colony, madness is catching…”

you can’t tell me this isn’t just BEGGING for us to figure it out

so, for my own sake:

i have a theory.

i kinda sorta hinted at this with my destroyer theory but i REALLY wanna go all out in this because i think this is actually something to think about… mostly because ive seen A Scene… and i wants to talk about it, vh. i wants it

now im gonna `lol` ignore everything about my lost legion eternal theory and start entirely from scratch. it’s also 1am here for my apologies if this comes across as incoherent because wow i should be asleep but fuck it i got research to do

so it all starts with psychos. i mean i guess it does. it’s gotta right? i brought in pictures it must

anyway

the guide admits that the first psychos came from Dahl’s prison colonies

the ones abandoned on pandora, now ive kinda talked about this b4 but imma talk about it again bc uhhh fuck it? why not.

so we know a lot of the bandits left on Pandora mutated because of the eridian ruins/the key. this is referenced mostly in sledge’s mine

its like world-wise called headstone mine but i never remember that. SLEDGE’S MINE

notice that line “most went crazy and many were physically mutated as well”

so i think it’s safe to say whatever they found in there started causing psychos to appear on pandora

im saying that i think eridians are the cause of Psychos across the galaxy

i have a lot more proof for this so please sit back and enjoy the ride because i think its really really cool

so lets look at hector’s logs from the newest dlc

“one of my boys found a shiny alien trinket”

“a few boys went rabid already, had to put them down”

now idk if there’s a connection here, but it’s interesting that both times, people who found these eridian artifacts started going crazy soon after

shit i mean even tannis begins to go off the wall after her and her dig team start investigating the eridian sites. although if that is because of the horrific incidents that befell her and her team or the ruins idk for certain. i’d bet its the shitty incidents tho

there’s more to this, hang on…

alright, so, lab rats? they’re pretty cool right?

we all like lab rats! personally, chase is my favorite, but adam is hilarious. that final season, huh? pretty wicked… wasn’t really a fan of the island setting but you know what, to each their own. it’s cool they actually progressed the show instead of staying stagnant. that got my respect even if it moved in a direction that wasn’t my cup of tea.

anyway Q U O T E S:

“Hyperion opened my eyes. i didn’t want it!”

“needles in my eyes!”

“don’t you look at me!”

“i can see! i don’t want to see!”

so there’s obviously something ~fucky~ going on with the lab rats and whatever it is they can see from the hyperion experimentation. we know hyperion had a hard-on for slag experimentation and you know i wouldn’t even be shocked if they were injecting these rats’ eyes with slag.

the best part is their reactions when they’re phaselocked. Unlike most enemies, the lab rats will only react to maya’s action skill, and none of the other VHs.

vs something like a marauder:

who has all these voice lines for Zer0, Axton, Sal (merc), AND Maya

the lab rats will only ever respond to being phaselocked.

and what do they say?

“i see the universe!”

“i see infinity!”

“it’s beautiful!”

(now weirdly enough i was told on the tv tropes for bl2 that the lab rats will say “I see it more!” when phaselocked by maya, but i couldn’t find a source for that. couldn’t even find it in the files i extracted from the game. i checked an online video just to double check because you know, my extraction could’ve been off, but it wasn’t there, either. even phaselocked one a bunch as maya and i couldn’t get it to proc. so, idk where that info came from, if someone could give a source/proof that would be awesomesauce.)

sooo what do other enemies say when phaselocked? usually… they just see blue. so nothing quite as interesting as infinity.

so wtf is up here?

im thinking the experiments hyperion performed on the lab rats are letting them see the dimension maya locks them in. i mean, tbh, i think they can see into that dimension whenever they open their eyes, but maybe maya’s phaselock makes sense of it for them. because they seem to be in indescribable agony outside of it

but the lab rats aren’t the only enemies that only react to being phaselocked

turns out the psychos only react to phaselocking, too

they also have some fun lines:

“I can see forever!”

“I’m home!”

“I’m inside… I’M INSIDE ME!”

with some other nonsense thrown in for fun

so idk, just taking a look at this, it’s clear the psychos and lab rats are seeing something that the other bandits just aren’t seeing. most reactions are demands to be released or that they’re flying, or just straight up confusion as to what’s happening.

is that the side effect of their exposure to slag/eridian tech? yeah, imma bet on it. their mind machines probably broke because they saw something they weren’t supposed to (possibly into the other dimension. the one maya phaselocks them in) without proper ‘protection’ and thus went batshit. like maybe sirens are protected from the craziness of the other dimension because they’re ‘chosen’ or whatever. iunno.

i do think it’s most interesting that the psychos seem familiar with whatever they’re seeing, calling it ‘home’ and well… themselves.

so why in the fuck am i talking about all this? because i think it ties straight into bl3.

let’s bring back lab rats and their experiments

you know how hyperion was supposedly injecting their eyes with slag? and it caused them to shoot those weird blue lasers out?

what happens to the destroyer’s eye in tps?

yeah we inject this bad boy with slag

“i only juice the eye with a little bit of slag at a time”

which ends up causing a singularity around the eye the second time you do it

“if this slag stuff is powering the laser, we need to force as much of it as we can back into the eye. the increased power will trip a failsafe and let us shut everything down”

oh, increased power? you mean like how Sirens get increased power from absorbing eridium? that kind of increased power?

we know in bl1 the Destroyer seemed to have something like slag in it- those glowing pockets on the tentacles that explode into purple goo

even its attacks are like purple liquid. which, you know… would be quite similar to slag (tho tbf, these attacks actually hurt instead of applying the debuff)

and boy does the destroyer not like it

“warning. space-time instability detected.” after injecting the eye with too much slag. but… why? it got too powerful? are its powers directly connected to the other dimension and by increasing it’s strength a bunch we created some sorta link between our dimension and the other one?

i mean given the other dimension allows for teleportation and shit, im not surprised there’s a space-time instability!

i mean we’ve all seen it do the eye laser thing, and the tentacles, and the purple goop. but causing space-time instabilities… that’s new isn’t it? kinda like how Sirens get new powers after they absorb a bunch of eridium???

so i wanna take a guess as to what the destroyer is

we know its ‘immortal in its own realm’ but when it’s taken an actual body that we can kill it, so odds are, it never actually died in bl1 OR tps. i imagine the Destroyer we see in bl1 is just a small fragment of it, and that it’s consciousness can be spread out across hosts. *EDIT: actually the lovely @automata-systemata-hydromata reminded me that you can find the destroyers brain in Helios. The other stuff I left in should be fine tho I thiiiink (thank you!).

and that, y’know, is cool and all, but what IS it??

Jack uses slag to give it a power boost, but it doesn’t seem to be happy about it when it happens. in fact, it even seems scared.

to be honest, all we know is that the eridians locked it away for some reason

idk im just spitballing here, but what if the Eridians were the creators of the destroyer? not intentionally, or maybe it was the result of one hell of a slag experiment/exposure to the other dimension/eridian tech, but we’ve seen what slag/exposure to eridian stuff does to humans… makes them go crazy, makes them start mutating. i mean, look at badass psychos. look at goliaths.

i mean shit even think about bloodwing. she goes wild, attacking the VHs and not listening to mordecai’s instructions despite their bond

she grows to a huge size and gains a whole shitload of new powers she didn’t have before. including fucking fire breath (which we’ve seen in burning psychos)

you know these dudes

i go into all this eridium/slag mutation stuff in SO much more detail in this post here, so if you’re interested in mutations, read this!

so what if the destroyer is just one HELL of a mutated eridian/alien and it plus all the eridium was locked away forever in the other dimension to keep this from ever happening again? because god, i wouldn’t want that to ever happen again, either, and i guess locking away the eridium (you know the stuff used in all these hyperion experiments) would be their best bet at ensuring it. also maybe just… locking away anything with eridium for that long probably isn’t the best idea… maybe that’s why it’s all tentacles and death. maybe they just locked someone away in a Vault as a prison and then leaving them with all that eridium caused them to mutate wildly out of control. kinda like the FEV.

i mean we know ‘slagged psychos’ look like this

i wouldn’t be surprised if we gave them enough slag/time they’d end up mutating even worse. and the destroyer was left in the vault for hundreds of years.

so wtf is the connection here with Sirens? there’s gotta be one, right??? is slag experimentation the first rung on the ladder of volatile science to achieving siren-hood? like you’d have slag/eridium experiments/mutations -> the lost legion eternal -> actual Sirens. maybe if sirens take in too much eridium they become something like the destroyer. now that’s fucked up to think about.

maybe it’s better the twins took lilith’s powers away from her…

oh, speaking of mutations and burning psychos and hyperion experiments, you know what we haven’t talked about yet?

Krieg.

let’s talk a whole lot about Krieg, because he is super important

krieg is important for a lot of reasons.

u know what his teaser trailer was named?

yeah i don’t think that’s coincidence one bit

ahhh Mayhem.

“deep beneath pandora, an experiment has escaped”

we know krieg is a hyperion test subject, dr samuels confirms this (and apparently contracts insanity as well at the end of the Crawmerax DLC)

also we know some other tests going on at the WEP from the quest Doctor’s Orders:

��this vault key didn’t make eridium come outta the ground for nothing, right?”

and there’s this one very very very interesting line by Tannis at the end of the quest:

“the spread of slag poisoning” yeah call it that DUMB name tannis, im gonna call it what all the kool kids are calling it: ~Mayhem~

so… Krieg.

what’s so special about him?

well… he gives us insight into what the hell is actually going on inside the heads of some psychos.

so idk about you guys but i always took this as a poke at Maya and Krieg, but i realize now that this is talking literally just about Krieg. it’s about his body holding both sides of himself.

krieg does appear to be like lucid behind the psycho controlling his body, which, idk about you guys, but for me that plants some pretty horrible mental images of all the psychos in-game who probably have similarly exasperated people behind them who are getting murdered because they can’t control themselves anymore.

and idk i wrote this whole post about how maybe the slag experimentation is turning people into hosts for the destroyer’s consciousness and that could explain all the wacked up psychos and shit. but tbh im not gonna talk about that today

just about slag experimentation/eridium exposure. we know what it ACTUALLY does and that’s mutate the hell out of things and cause insanity.

Krieg is like… the poster child for slag experimentation/eridium exposure

soooo why does slag experimentation make people go insane? could be any number of reasons, but tbh i would bet it has to do with that other dimension somehow. because eridium isn’t a normal ‘our dimension’ element. it came out of a vault. from a different dimension. and who knows the long-term effects of that shit.

i personally had a theory that the 4th dimension had something to do with time and that only Sirens are able to harness this power, but then i have no idea how to explain angel and amara’s powers through that lense, so eh. fuck it. just seeing an upper dimension would make you go crazy anyway, so let’s not bring any time shit into this because that’s just asking for trouble.

either way

i think that sirens are able to make sense of that other dimension. they have some sort of command of it/some sort of tie to it that allows them to not go crazy the instant they interact with it, unlike psychos. unlike lab rats. unlike Krieg. it’s like… eridium is our window into this other dimension or some shit and Sirens are (literally) able to process it, while it just fucks over anyone else who tries to interact. ~kachow i just introduced parallels~

and tbh i think we’re going to use Sirens to help cure this plague of insanity going around the universe. probably starting with Krieg. i mean, the only time he’s able to get even an iota of control is when he sees Maya. “Turn around pretty lady!!” like… that’s HUGE for him. and Maya’s a Siren. im not saying the power of love isn’t strong… but maybe the power of Sirens is stronger. i’d love if tannis helped us out with that. maya, too, if she really did learn more about sirens on athenas.

this all ties into borderlands 3 for 2 reasons:

1. Mayhem being both the tagline for this game and Krieg the Psycho’s DLC pack is not a coincidence

2. The calypso twins are going to be using slag to both brainwash people into becoming cultists and give them special powers

`breaks fingers` this is the real meat of this theory, all that other stuff was just getting you READY for this

let’s put the Mayhem stuff off to the side for a second and just focus on the Calypso twins.

We know they’re promising their cultists special powers and free brainwashes (lol)

we’ve seen that one concept art from the museum of mayhem with the giant slag pool

we know enemies are STILL dropping refined Eridium even though it seems like all manufacturers have stopped creating slag weaponry

and we’ve seen the slag falls in a bl3 promo material already

oh yes

okay so i said right at the very beginning of this document that i’ve seen A Scene that i wanna talk about and oh baby this is it

This Scene right here

look in the very back there

look familiar???

~it shooouuuuullld~

yeah this is it!!!

so what i think is going down: anyone who’s not already insane is sorta ‘baptized’ as their entrance into this cult in the big ol slagfall. maybe the twins have a way to induce slagged cultists so they can have elemental affinities. not sure about that.

regardless

the twins are using slag to drive people insane (turning them into psychos) as a form of brainwashing to force people to join their cult.

so that’s the special powers and the free brainwashing and the slagfalls down.

let’s talk about why exactly we’re seeing enemies drop bars of refined eridium even though hyperion stopped making them. because the twins are making it!! it makes sense why there’s no slag guns still, even if it still exists in-universe: of course no manufacturer is going to contact an insane bandit cult just to get their hands on slag for their guns.

there was a 7 year dry spell of eridium production so there was no slag to go around, so companies started phasing it out of their guns and replacing it with nuclear.

but the twins have recently started production again. they’re obviously not using it in their guns, or selling it to other manufacturers. so wtf are they using it for? it’s gotta be important, it’s holy holy holy.

special powers and brainwashing!

and the refined eridium is back in circulation, so enemies are still dropping it. see? solution acquired.

as for psycho-ness spreading across the universe? it makes sense. not only are the twins using their slag to brainwash people and turn them into psycho cultists, but people are also being mutated by the eridian ruins/vault keys/vaults on the other planets and being driven insane. This craziness is quite literally Mayhem.

Mayhem is coming, indeed!

now let us talk about what the fucccck gearbox is doing with all that Mayhem stuff in the trailers and shit.

sooo WE are the cult surrounding this game. as the fan base.

do u think it was coincidence that they made ‘ECHOnet’ Streamers the leaders of their big bad cult and then also immediately introduced, in real life, the Twitch ECHOcast extension and invited a bunch of streamers to play their demo? they knew exactly what they were doing. Giving away a free cultist psycho mask to everyone who preorders a console copy of the game? that’s intentional. everyone who preorders the game gets a ‘gold weapon skin pack’? yeah! you know what gold weapons represent in-universe? higher standing in the cult!! gearbox is making commentary on how we are all just like the cultists!

AND THEY ARE TOTALLY RIGHT

all the trailers having something to do with Mayhem? ‘Mask of Mayhem’ ‘Mural of Mayhem’ ‘We are Mayhem’ ‘Mayhem is coming’. We’re all insane cultists because we’re all absolutely fucking rabid for this game and they KNOW IT.

…

oh also we’re all in love with each other lmao.

in all seriousness, i think the game is going to focus a lot on the relationships we have with the people we care about- our found family, our romantic interests, our friendships- and that��s being expressed through the roses.

i think that’s why all the characters are shown in the roses on the cover art. why the roses are so prominent in the So Happy Together trailer. why Zane is sitting at a bar with a rose between himself and his clone (as a joke, but still, it’s the intent).

red roses are, like, the most obvious way to show your affection to someone. and we know the bl3 Vault Hunters are going to find family in each other in this game. that we’re going to watch the calypso twins’ relationship become warped as the game goes on. hell, we’re probably even going to have a whole plot about tina and mordy (and talon) and brick being a small family together, and maya and ava being one as well. plus ellie and vaughn have gotten together since commander lilith. shit, guys, even claptrap is building himself a girlfriend.

this game’s about love, guys.

anyway i have been working on this since 1:30am. it’s currently 6:06am. i am very tired and very wired and those never mesh well. im gonna go eat some motherfuckin pizza.

edit: i missed the obvious connection the first time around: of course we’re going to cure Krieg, he loves Maya. and this game is all about love.

that and/or one or both of them die and gearbox hurts us right in the softest parts of our hearts.

edit 2: also yeah at some point in the near future im writing that Hyperion-Twins theory because as much as i love Atlas, i have ~seen some things~

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #the calypso twins #krieg #im so sorry this is like 1 billion pages #but i really had fun with it #i worked on this for a very very long time so i hope its coherent enough #i sorta just go on tangents and always repeat myself when i've said similar stuff in previous posts and i feel bad #but also i can't always put in EVERY single detail when im spending 5+ hours on a post just typing all this up anyway #so instead i reference old posts #but i feel like a dumb game of telephone #anyway #im very tired #it's time for pizza

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walls-dmc5 · 5 years

Text

Walls - 6th chapter “Contact”

Words: 8,9k

Warnings/tags: canon-typical violence, slight angst

I hope you enjoy! 🌹

“I think we should split into two groups.”

“And cover more ground. Good idea.”

Cara only heard little of what the men in the front of the van were talking about. She was much more fascinated by watching Nico work on Nero’s prosthetic arms - the Devil Breakers as she called them.

“So, are those made out of demon parts?” Cara asked and pointed to the horn of Goliath which was splitted up into tiny pieces, some were even crushed into powder.

Nico turned around to her, a grin spread out on her face.

“Only to an extent,” she stated and lifted the Devil Breaker she was working on right now, “you see, if I build parts of it into the arm it will be capable of utilizing its demonic energy. A masterpiece, don’t you think?”

“It is impressive for sure,” Cara said smiling. Also it was nice to see how excited Nico got when she was talking about her work. What the young woman created in the back of the van was remarkable. Building prosthetic arms that could be used by Nero in battle, which were also capable of powerful attacks fueled by demonic energy. Cara had no idea how and what exactly Nico did, but it was fascinating to watch.

“It’s truly a work of art!” Nico exclaimed raising the new arm and examining it from all the angles.

“Woohoo, so you’re an artist now, hu?!” Griffon chimed in chuckling.

“Yes, I am! Got any questions, little chicken?”

The demonic bird flinched back, a few blue feathers flying through the air in the process. Cara only caught a short glimpse of V looking over his shoulder at them, a small smirk on his face before he turned his attention back to Nero.

“My grandmother was called the ‘.45 Caliber Virtuoso’... legendary gunsmith. I hope to be like her someday. An artist, and a lethal artisan. Everything I create is art, whether it’s a gun… Or a steel pot... to cook birds in. Anymore questions, hu? Little chickee.”

Astoundingly enough Griffon actually did not say a single word as a reply, but Cara was more fascinated by the gun that hung framed on the wall, which apparently was made by Nico’s grandmother. But she assumed this interest and passion in something this specific had got to come from somewhere.

“Hey tough guy, you better treat this one better than the other.” Nico told Nero who turned around in the passenger seat.

“Yeah, well, your quality control sucks ass. Otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Well how about you don’t let the demons smack you around so much?!”

“Whatever. What does this do?”

“The propellant injection device is based on the combustion mechanism in that numbskull's demon tummy. It's basically a rocket-powered punch, but I bet a show-off like you could go along for the ride if ya like.”

“Nice.”

Griffon chuckled, and a smile also tugged at the corners of Cara’s lips. She still didn’t know the relationship between these two. Were they related? Were they working colleagues? Friends? It was hard to tell by how they were interacting. Nonetheless, Cara appreciated that they were so open and honest with her around. From what she could tell V kept mostly to himself, but she was the biggest stranger in this group yet. But Nico and Nero didn’t seem to behave any different just because she was there now.

The woman looked up in question as she only picked up her name.

“Sorry?”

“I said we’re gonna split up. Nico and I will be a group and you’ll go with V.” Nero told her again.

Cara had to admit that the prospect of accompanying V some more was an intriguing and rather compelling thought. Maybe she could also figure out a bit more about the mysterious man and his demonic companions. Though, it was also futile to deny that she couldn’t exactly call his presence unpleasant. She recalled the moment of their little teasing in the ruins yesterday in way too much detail; especially how his deep green eyes stared at her, observing her, analyzing her…

“I’ll take my leave now.” V finally said and rose from the seat. Cara watched as Griffon dissolved into a whirl of feathers and black particles which seeked refuge on V’s skin, his tattoos reappearing; mostly on his arm as Cara noticed.

“I guess that’s my cue then as well,” Cara said, shouldering her backpack, adjusting her open jacket again and followed the tattooed man outside of the van.

“Hey, Cara, honey! You have a phone, right?!” Nico called after her. The woman turned around, not minding the pet name and pulled out her cell phone from her backpack.

“Good!” Nico said, leaning out of the van’s window, “call me if you need my help!”

“Great, thanks!” Cara made a waving gesture and smiled before she turned around, following after V who was a few steps ahead of her but has stopped walking when Nico called her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“So, V, you think this kid can kill Urizen?”

“One can only hope.”

He was not nearly as confident as the sound of his voice made it seem. The thought of Nero confronting Urizen again filled his soul with dread, it crawled underneath his skin and held his mind in an icy hold. There was not a flicker of light granting him a warming glimpse of hope. Urizen was too strong, and his powers grew with every soul, with every amount of human blood that was sacrificed.

The entrance to the tunnel behind them collapsed, startling the woman behind him a bit.

“But for now we have more… pressing engagement,” he said, one corner of his lips twitching upwards. He walked on ahead, only turning his head around to see if Griffon was still there, still following him.

At the end of the tunnel they were greeted by Empusas and one Hell Antenora demon.

He smirked while Griffon landed on his outstretched arm; his wings bursting with crackling electricity, an eagerness to dive into battle shining in every one of his blue feathers, an ambition burning in his yellow eyes unrivaled by any other living being still residing in this city.

Shadow rose from the depths of the ink covering his skin, emerging in front of him from a pool of pitch black ink and a cloud of black smoke; she growled, the sound carrying fierceness and raw strength across the battlefield, her crimson glowing markings equaling his own and a constant proof and symbol of their lives being bound.

He smirked as he tilted his head, watching his companions out of green gleaming eyes. His smirk did not even falter when the woman stepped into his peripheral vision, her own weapon in hands. There was a sense of determination all over her, the same conviction he felt from her in the tree and he knew that he would not need to think about her while in battle; she was capable on her own.

“Go.” Was all he said and Griffon and Shadow charged at the demons.

Bolts of lightning filled the battlefield, crackling through the air and burning the demons with pure electric energy, while a whirl of constantly transforming black fur pierced through the demon’s skin like paper. In this moment they were weapons, the means for him to end those demon’s pathetic lives and to send them straight back into hell.

Satisfaction settled in his green eyes as he heard the pleasing sound of his cane digging into the Empusa’s skull, destroying its brain and causing it to disintegrate in front of his very eyes.

He caught a glimpse of the woman fighting the Hell Antenora. While he had no time to watch and focus on her, he did see how she twisted her body around to evade its attack, before she used the dumpster close to a wall to gain the upper ground. It was one fluent movement; she climbed on the dumpster with one step, jumped down from it, her weapon over her shoulder and slashed the demon’s throat with one solid swing. She rolled on the ground to quickly gather herself before continuing attacking the other demons.

He was impressed. For a human that was admirable. More than he could pull off on his own.

And it also made him realize that the moment in the Qliphoth, when he had to save her from a demon she didn’t see coming, has been a foolish mistake and not a common experience for her.

It only took mere minutes until the battlefield turned silent again.

No more demons left. Just Griffon’s chuckle at their victory reverberated through the narrow street they were in.

Shadow and Griffon both returned to him, once more retreating into their respective tattoos on his skin. V knew they felt his approval, felt them show their signs of recognition and gratitude like a soft breeze carried through his body and soul.

He knew the woman watched him, watched how his familiars vanished in strands of fur and bunch of feathers, mixed with black particles that reappeared on his skin. But she didn’t say anything, although V could almost hear the question that was burning on the tip of her tongue, which she held back for what reason he could only assume; she didn’t expect an answer from him.

There was a mutual feel of mistrust in the air between them. He did not trust other people, and he even more so did not allow people to see beneath the layers of confidence and pride he pulled up around him. His heart and soul had too much to bear, too much he would not share with another human being; he was alone in this, would always be.

She did not trust him because she saw right through him. She knew that what he showed her, the glimpses she caught of him were just an outer layer albeit not pretentious. She was aware he knew more about the situation at hand, which he did not tell her. He truly did not give her any reason to trust him.

“Are those the roots we need to destroy?” she asked him once they reached a staging area of the Qliphoth roots. A giant knot of pulsing blood vessels, surrounded by dark grey demonic roots, tendrils and spikes protecting the source of the Qliphoth strength.

“A small one, but yes, indeed,” he replied and with a sound of effort breaking from his lips did he stab his cane right into the knot of blood cells. There were much bigger roots all over the city, looking almost like miniature versions of the Qliphoth, but every single one counted.

If they wanted to have a chance at success they needed to get rid of every single one of them.

The blood turned brown right after he pulled his cane out of it again, the root drying up and dissolving into dust within a matter of seconds. Nothing really happened to their environment as a result but it still brought them one minor success: the Qliphoth wouldn’t get any more blood sacrifices through this one.

“Do we have a destination or is the plan just to roam the city trying to find as many of these roots as possible?” the woman asked after fighting off another small wave of Empusa demons. There was the hint of a judgemental tone in her voice but it was overshadowed by a genuine interest.

He didn’t stop walking as they were now reaching a damaged bridge which was leading across the flooded part of the city. He raised his cane, pointing to a building ahead of them. He wasn’t sure if she could see it. There were a few moving tendrils sticking out of the destroyed roof of that building, but it was this kind of root closest to them, so they would take care of this one while Nero took down another.

“This is still quite a way to go,” it was just an observation, no judgement in her voice in that statement. He agreed.

“We’ll probably get the chance to exterminating more roots along the way. Like this one,” he once more used his cane to point towards a smaller root like the previous one.

Shadow was at his side immediately. She purred quietly, brushing along his hands as she circled him, waiting for a command or a word from V. He let his fingers slide through her fur as she brushed along his skin, before sending her forward to get rid of the roots.

“Wait, V.”

He told Shadow to halt her attack, listened to the woman’s voice calling out to him, though his brows furrowed as he looked over at her. She was at the side of the bridge, leaning over the railing of the bridge.

“This bridge will collapse if we destroy that root,” she said pointing downwards where the tendrils of the root went across the bridge and disappeared from his sight. They probably were wrapped around the pillars of it. He didn’t voice it, but it was quick thinking from her. While he could avoid getting injured with his familiar’s help, if the bridge did collapse, she probably couldn’t.

“Then you go up ahead,” he nodded towards the other side of the bridge. She looked at him for a bit, staring at him out of deep blue eyes, trying to analyze what was going through his mind right now.

But she listened to him.

It actually surprised him a bit. She didn’t say anything else, didn’t question him, instead trusted his decision and just nodded once and made her way towards the other side of the bridge, even running as to not waste any more time.

Once she was away from the bridge he sent Shadow at the root again, making her slice through the blood vessels with her claws, all the while Griffon appeared close behind him, ready to interfere should something happen to the bridge.

He felt the shaking of the brickwork before he heard it. It happened in the blink of an eye. The roots turned into dust, no longer supporting the unstable bridge - just as she said before - the stone and bricks crumbled, falling with rumbling noises into the water down below.

V was grateful for his familiar’s quick reflexes. Shadow jumped, easily reaching the other side of the bridge, while Griffon hooked his claws into V’s bracelet on his raised arm and carried the summoner away from the collapsing bridge.

“Did you see that, sweetie?! Pretty amazing, don’t you agree?!” Griffon exclaimed, as he let go of V near the woman again.

“Since you’re a bird it must’ve been really hard to actually use your wings.”

V smirked at her remark, but he did see that she was affected by the previous scene. Maybe she wasn’t impressed, her posture and gaze didn’t seem so, maybe she appreciated him sending her away beforehand or his teamwork with his familiars; ultimately he couldn’t know, but he knew she wasn’t as nonchalant about it as she made it seem.

“Well, maybe you should hope I won’t forget how to use them, if you need them eventually,” Griffon countered.

“We’ll see about that.”

“Oh, we will.” Griffon chuckled. V didn’t say anything. The discussion was over with Griffon’s statement but V knew that a threat by Griffon was at least empty if it was directed at people on the same team as V. He wouldn’t let someone get hurt or die if it would lead to putting more pressure and strain on V’s exhausted bones.

Shadow let her slide her hand along the fur of her head as before on the church square - which still caught him by surprise - before she padded over to him and retreated back into her tattoos.

“Let’s go.” V said.

“Yeah.”

V has already walked most of the streets in Red Grave City countless times within the last four weeks; eradicating demons and exterminating Qliphoth roots, although a lot of these huge roots have only grown very recently. But he knew his way along the destroyed buildings, through the ruined streets, to find the way to his destination.

He almost flinched back when a warmth settled upon his arm.

The touch was fleeting, just a brief caress of her hand on his skin to gain his attention without having to speak up for it.

He followed her hand with his eyes as she withdrew it, silently pointing to a side street at which end another root was visible, but also a Behemoth was lurking there. She looked at him in question, nothing in her blue eyes hinted at her thoughts still lingering on that gesture and he prayed there was nothing in his own eyes as he nodded, wordlessly agreeing on taking the Behemoth down.

The touch of another human being… how much time has passed since that was a sensation he had felt? Since he sought out that gesture, that caress of attention? Since it was not meant to make him flinch and hinder him in his path? He could not deny how his ribcage squeezed his heart in a painful embrace as his mind could only recall the touch from his mother of when he was nothing but a child.

The touch on his skin still lingered, felt like a burning imprint on his inked body, long after it ended as they quietly approached the Behemoth as to not alert it to their presence.

Griffon flew silently above them until it was above the Behemoth, ready to attack, while Shadow slid beneath the ground. A Behemoth was dangerous, one hit and V met his end, but with very precisely aimed attacks while it still didn’t know opponents were there, and it was beatable within mere moments despite its heavy armor.

The attacks were launched at once. Bolts of lightning charged with demonic energy and a precision unrivaled into the demon below Griffon, while Shadow leaped from the ground, morphing into a spinning blade and stroke the Behemoth head-on.

V watched as the demon’s armor broke apart instantly, its giant two tongues unfurling and falling onto the ground. His familiars did not cease their attacks, they couldn’t allow themselves too. They needed to bring this eyesore down as fast as their skills allowed.

“Exterminate the roots,” he told the woman. He assumed she could come up with something to get rid of the Behemoth. However, just letting Shadow and Griffon handle this was more effective right now if they did not have to be cautious not to hurt her in the process.

She nodded and he looked after her for a moment as she went ahead before he turned his attention back on the demon.

He slid along the ground with Shadow’s help to evade the Behemoth lashing out at him with his tongue, but it was distracted by Griffon unleashing electric strikes across the area. The lightning fueled by demonic power stroke the giant demon, digging right through its thick, unprotected skin and leaving behind the stench of rotten flesh.

And when the Behemoth finally emitted that faint purple glow V threw his cane.

He used the very little demonic energy he could utilize with the cane to teleport to the creature’s back. His cane dug easily into the demon’s skull, although it started to wriggle and fight against his upcoming doom.

“Resist all you want.” V said, focused on his cane digging deeper into the Behemoth’s head, focused on not losing his balance on top of it until he heard that all too familiar sound of demon bones cracking and giving in. He allowed the sense of satisfaction as yet another obnoxious creature was sent back to hell, dissolving into goo and blood and leaving only the smell of death behind.

Shadow and Griffon both returned to him, Shadow’s markings on his body reappearing, Griffon staying with him, when the woman joined him again; the roots long gone and vanished.

“Such vile things,” she commented, looking at the pool of blood on the ground.

“Those are even feared by their own kind.” V told her. She nodded.

“Apparently they’re also cannibalistic.”

V did not know how she knew that or that what he just said was seemingly nothing new to her, but he assumed there was a reason for a simple human like her being a demon hunter and strategic expert and surviving this long. Knowing about the enemies one was fighting was doubtlessly a necessity.

“You bet they are!” Griffon chimed in, “that’s why over time the restraints on their bodies got heavier. They kept breaking through the armor all the damn time. That’s one species no one would miss,” the demon bird complained. V smirked. He knew Griffon has had more than one confrontation with these demons in the past long before they met.

“We should go.” V said, throwing up his cane and catching it again to walk away from the side street they were still on.

“V,” she said from behind him, and for a moment there was tension settling over his body, anticipation as much as dread, that she would touch him again to gain his attention. He did not understand why he tensed so much.

She did no such thing however.

“Shouldn’t we consider taking a break? I assume more demons are waiting for us, especially when we reach that bigger root. I… don’t know if we can go on for this long without some rest.”

“A break may not be the worst idea our soldier girl had.”

V had to admit that they had a point. His soul and body weren’t resilient like Shadow’s and Griffon’s were. Effort and movement took a much faster toll on him than he would like. Despite being granted these powers of having these demons fight at his side it did nothing to enhance his capabilities as a human.

In fact, he felt the weight of the battles and the constant walking in his feet, he felt his shoulders slumping after each time he had to raise his cane…

He had a mission to see through. They did not have that much time. But he could not deny that he needed a break at some point too. Just as they could not proceed in the darkness of night they could not walk on an entire day without rest.

He closed his eyes and nodded wordlessly at the both of them.

“Let me call Nico. Maybe she can supply us,” the woman already took out her mobile phone and dialed the number. V did not say anything, instead he walked on until they reached a tiny square and lowered himself onto a wooden box. He felt the gratitude of his bones and muscles immediately, as if every nerve in his body gained the ability to breathe and sighed in relief.

The woman did in fact arrive with the van in a matter of mere minutes, driving over anything in her path without caring for the vehicle’s condition. V considered it to be foolish but her driving skills were still admirable. He did not have a license himself but he still knew not everyone would handle driving in a demon-infested city like this.

“Hey guys!” the woman exclaimed through the open window waving at them. Griffon chuckled.

“Be right back.”

“Our soldier girl has important business to tend to I assume?” Griffon laughed, and V allowed the slight upward curve of his mouth. The woman also didn’t seem to take any offense to his statement.

“Just you wait,” she even winked at Griffon, and while it did silence the demon, V wondered why she seemed to be in such an uplifted mood now of all times.

A hand appeared in his peripheral vision after a while.

He followed the hand up the arm until his eyes met her blue ones. She was smiling at him, a softness on her features that didn’t speak of the gravity of their situation. He wished that attitude was able to break through the walls around his soul to grant him a slightly more optimistic outlook on this endeavor.

She held a sandwich in her hand, offering it to him.

He took it, a wondering glance in his eyes as he stared at the bread in his hands.

“Oohoo, did you make that?” Griffon leaned forwards and looked first over V’s shoulder and then at the woman. She nodded.

“Yeah. Sorry, buddy, I wasn’t really sure about your diet. If you want there’s still some left in the van.”

“I surely wouldn’t mind some human flesh right now.” V looked at Griffon with one eyebrow pulled up. The demon laughed, shaking his feathers.

“Don’t worry, sweetie, whatever V eats also sustains us just fine.” Griffon explained then before his yellow eyes bore into V’s, wordlessly telling him he should better eat that bread.

The truth was that he really wasn’t very hungry. His appetite usually was very low, shoved into the back of his mind so he could focus on the tasks at hand without any distraction. But he figured that he really should eat something, and she took the time to prepare this despite them being in a hurry, despite them facing the eventual apocalypse. Also V can hardly recall the last time someone prepared food for him.

He thanked her, noticed her appreciative smile, and took a bite. His palate was anything but defined, but even he could distinguish between a variety of different flavors and it made him wonder just how she managed to accomplish that in the van with minimum ingredients.

“Hey, can I leave ya alone again? Nero called. Gotta save that guy’s ass.” Nico leaned out of the window of the van again, rolling her eyes when she mentioned the boy.

“Sure. We’ll call you or see you tonight at the safe house again.”

“Great. Don’t get killed on the way there.” And with that the van drove away, leaving V with the woman alone again.

“V, can I ask you something?”

V looked at her, eyebrows slightly risen to show her she had his attention. He still took another bite of the sandwich.

“Who are you? I mean,” she pursed her lips in thoughts for a moment before continuing, “how is it possible for you to summon demons? I’ve never heard of a human having such an ability.”

V swallowed the last bite of the sandwich and rubbed his fingers together to get rid of the crumbs as he let her words slowly sink in.

“V, what the hell are you?”

The boy’s words from yesterday rang in his ears again, they never truly left his mind. They made him realize how different these two people were, how differently they approached him. This woman was interested in him, she saw him as a human, a soul with curious capabilities. The boy, however, dismissed him, putting him down and taking his humanity away with the simple choosing of a phrase. And even though the young hunter did not mean any harm, it confronted V exactly with the consequences he has chosen for himself all these years ago.

That realization settled deep within his mind but it made the words she’s chosen much more meaningful, and he felt strings of his heart reaching out, clawing at his ribcage to allow his walls to come down, to let her in, indulge her in the truth.

Sentiment…, he forced the feeling back, refusing to believe how hard that process actually was simply because of her phrasing a question in a different way than someone else. He still did not know her, still wasn’t sure if she may not have some personal objectives - just as he had - despite her seeming as if she wore her heart on her sleeves; trying to refrain from sharing too much but failing to eyes like his who have been forced to see behind other people’s actions and gestures.

Still, to not give her an answer seemed to be as wrong as it was rude. There was a genuine interest in her, it was all over her, and her blue eyes have not averted from him since she asked the question. Since his childhood no one ever has paid so much attention to him. He did not know what to make of it. He did not know how to handle it. The need to indulge her at least in a bit of his mind became almost unbearable.

He decided to give her a taste of the truth to satisfy her curiosity and to clear his conscience.

“These demons, Griffon, Shadow and Nightmare, are bound to me. They reside in these markings on my skin and I can summon and use them in battle.”

“Why do you stab the demons with the cane then? Can’t they do that? Sounds a lot safer if you simply stood back.” The corner of V’s lips twitched at her question.

“They can not kill other demons. They do as I say but they can not turn on their own kind. They weaken them and I end their lives.”

“How or… why is this possible though? Were you born like this?” her question sounded as if she did not believe it herself. She probably had enough experience with the supernatural to know it was impossible to be born this way as long as one’s parents were human. And there was no demonic blood in his family bloodline.

“No. We are bound by a contract.”

“Also, just to clear that up, sweetie, we are our own individuals. We have our own brain and mind. Well… aside from the big guy maybe.” Griffon leaned forward on the pile of debris he was standing on.

Their own individuals… yes. As long as he would fulfill his obligation.

V did not say anything in return.

“I assumed as such,” there was a smile on her face as she replied to Griffon before she looked at him again.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said. He nodded, though the thought that he barely explained anything pushed at the back of his mind. She was so interested in knowledge and information about demons. And him. It was hard to imagine for him that she was content with the limited information he gave her. She did not even try to ask for what his side of the contract contained.

Was he glad she didn’t ask? He was not even sure, but he knew he would not have given her the truth anyway.

A moment of silence passed before V grabbed his cane and rose to his feet again. He thanked her for her effort for making the food - and he truly was grateful - and V was astonished how her face lit up with a smile and a shimmer in her eyes.

Sometimes he wondered if he had forgotten how much words could affect people outside of poetry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

They continued their way until they finally reached their destination. The giant root of the Qliphoth looked almost like a miniature version of the actual tree. Branches, tendrils and blood vessels twirled in a grotesque way, filling up the entire width of the half-destroyed building they were now in.

Some sort of market as it looked like. There were market stalls everywhere, mostly destroyed, and Cara even spotted some long abandoned boxes with groceries. There certainly was a lot of clutter around, it kinda looked like a hurricane has blown through here and destroyed half of the building.

However, she didn’t spot any demons in the area. Neither did she see pools of blood on the ground from where demons could spawn

Cara walked forwards, her gaze locked on the giant root of the demonic tree, when a sudden pressure on her left shoulder stopped her in her tracks.

She looked at her shoulder, confused but not concerned, and followed the length of V’s cane to his face. His brows were furrowed a bit, his eyes not looking at her but their surroundings and then his smirk appeared on his face again; really subtle, just a slight upwards curve of his lips.

She could’ve sworn her breath got caught in her throat for a moment when he turned this gaze to her; she was now even more aware of the pressure of his cane on her shoulder as his green eyes looked at her with an intensity she hasn’t seen from him before.

“We are not alone.” The words were spoken so low, just a deep grumble of his voice. There was something hidden beneath those words, beneath that smirk and intense glance. As if he was looking forward to what was to come, a confidence and determination to face the impending threat of the situation, which was rather surprising because so far he hasn’t seemed eager to fight demons.

It raised so many more new questions in her and she wished she had more time and another opportunity to ask him more.

V stood next to her and released the cane from her shoulder. He looked at the root ahead of them and then looked at her once more.

“Stay back,” he simply said; not a request, not a demand just a simple statement.

“I can-”

The look he directed at her made the words stop on the tip of her tongue before they could escape. No smirk, not even a glance in his eyes that told her anything. Just a hard expression that made it impossible for her yet again to look past his demeanor. All she was able to gather from this instance was that he apparently knew about what was going on, and for whatever reason he did not want her around.

She decided to trust him.

Cara nodded, not content with the situation because she was convinced she could help but she gave in and stepped back.

V didn’t turn to her again or waited for her to retreat; he just walked straight up ahead, posture upright, gaze locked on the giant root.

She only caught a blur of colors and a breeze rushing past her as something charged at V so abruptly that Cara instinctively jumped back and reached for her weapon.

She only saw a giant serpent-like creature retreating back to the root while V rose back to a standing position; the bird demon landing on his bent arm.

Cara did not make a step forward, heeding V’s earlier words and just observed from a few feet away from behind one of the abandoned market stalls as a fleshy, pulsating humanoid life form emerged from within the root. She didn’t know what it was, a demon most likely, but even though it literally came from within the tree it didn’t appear to be a part of it. The scales surrounding the heads of these serpents had a different color,then the orange humanoid thing. So far it never seemed as if these roots they have destroyed had any creature living in them and while this was a much bigger root, it just seemed odd.

“You dodged me! Did you dodge me?!” the demon said with a distorted voice although there was no mouth, just a shape of a face full of spikes.

Griffon groaned. “Ugh; Nidhogg. I never liked this guy.”

“You pest. Do I know you?” the creature, Nidhogg, whom Griffon apparently knew (Cara had so many questions), growled.

“Dumb as a box of rocks. Let’s not even mess with this guy, V. He can’t even leave the Qliphoth anyway. Just a Qliphoth parasite.”

So a parasite. Cara was right that this thing did not belong to the tree. She assumed Griffon being a demon would know about creatures like this and since she hasn’t known about the Qliphoth before she also couldn’t have known about this demon. Her fingers twitched as she desperately wanted to take out her notebook. But she didn’t wanna draw any attention to her by moving too much. She much rather observed the scene to get to know more about this life form.

“Did you insult me?”

“Uh-oh.”

“You insulted me!”

“I think he heard me… and he’s angry!” Griffon yelled the last words and Cara’s hand reached for her weapon again as another serpent demon charged at V. The man rather easily jumped out of the way though.

“I’m going to kill you.” The demon growled at him.

V turned around to face the demon with a calm and composure which Cara found admirable. There was a confidence in his posture and the short glimpse she caught of his face just now that left no doubt in her mind that he was absolutely unfaced by this demon.

“Not in this lifetime. ‘As the air to a bird, or the sea to a fish, so is contempt to the contemptible’.”

Cara wondered a bit how these quotes - she assumed it was one - came to his mind like this in such a situation.

However, it was clear that V was about to fight that demon - Nidhogg - and Cara did not know how to act. She didn’t want to let him fight all on his own.

She could fight too! This was her job after all!

But she also didn’t want to interfere and get in his way. He told her to stay back, and probably for a reason. Her hand was still gripping her weapon from when the serpent attacked before.

Her hand tightened almost painfully around the handle of the Kama.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Even the big bad kitty knows you got shit for brains!” Griffon mocked Nidhogg after Shadow growled as a response to the demon’s lack of an intellect. His familiars evaded yet another attack of the tentacle-like arms of Nidhogg while V kept his distance, his eyes switching between the humanoid core and its appendages.

“Qu-qu-qu-quiet! You… you… bird and cat!”

It was almost astounding how this demon did not even possess a basic level of intelligence. It just attached itself to the Qliphoth and fed off the blood that was sacrificed to it. Just a parasite as Griffon has said, and it barely posed a threat to him and his familiars.

V was in control of that battle. Griffon and Shadow utilizing their strength and energy to attack Nidhogg again and again, using their speed to get V out of range if the parasite got too close, V’s cane dealing the finishing blow to the serpents that regenerated after a while when they did not manage to just deal enough damage to the core for V to kill it for good.

It all changed within a heartbeat.

A screech and a shiver; a cold he never thought he would ever have to endure settled around his bones, freezing him in place.

He had to watch him fall.

He has never seen him fall before.

He was not supposed to fall.

V felt the agony of the energy leaving his body as he had to witness how Griffon got hit by that parasite and fell to the ground. He transformed into the blue glowing sphere he only knew from his explanation should it ever happen to him.

A heartbeat was all it took.

He felt the crushing grip of the pain as the energy of his long-trusted companion was being pulled from within V’s body. He had to witness how the so prideful and ferocious demon lost to that obnoxious creature.

It was a sensation so foreign to him, such a disgusting and dreadful feeling in his mind and body that he lost his focus; his chain of thoughts gone, his defense dwindling.

He heard the sound of crushing wood and clattering metal long before he felt the impact.

His bones rattled in agony, every nerve in his body being set on fire from the pain of being thrown into the clutter all around them.

V moaned in pain, squeezing his eyes shut as he fought through the agony, through the hammering in his head, through the shaking of his limbs and he raised his head to face that distasteful creature again.

A fiery hatred and the overwhelming need to destroy that monstrosity took over his mind and body, pushed the pain his body was in from the impact that could have ended his life aside and allowed him to grip his cane once again and straighten his posture.

Shadow was at his side immediately again, growling and her eyes glowing with the guilt of not preventing him from getting hurt, but she fought Nidhogg all on her own, making up for Griffon getting hit and doing the best she could to prevent anything worse happening.

V stretched his cane out to the side, signaling the woman behind him to not get involved. He knew she called out his name when he got hit, he knew she was already grabbing her weapon.

But this was his fight.

Now more so than before.

“Uah, I can’t believe this dimwit got to me! Kitty, make way, I have some roasting to do.”

V could not deny the relief settling inside of him when the sphere transformed again and Griffon reappeared. His wings glowed with newly sparked electricity, his feathers sizzling with the lightning and thunder he was ready to hurl at the parasite. V could feel the energy returning to him, a faint breeze within his body that told him Griffon was alright.

Still, V would not ever see this happening again.

“V, you’re hurt. Better take a step back.”

“I’m fine,” he simply replied, even after Shadow’s growl, approving of Griffon’s words. He was alright. He would fight through the pain. This was not the first time he got hit during a battle after all. He could endure it. He had to destroy that pathetic excuse of a demon.

And he would see it through.

“Make haste,” he told them and pointed his cane at the creature.

He sent attack after attack, wave after wave of lightning at Nidhogg. He did not allow the monstrosity to even utter a single word again. All it could do was to endure the onslaught of attacks, driven by a rage V was all too familiar with but which barely ever consumed him this way.

And when the parasite began to glow purple he felt the hatred and eagerness in every fiber of his being.

He threw the cane and used the demonic energy for himself to teleport into the air right in front of the dying demon.

He took a twisted satisfaction from the painful screams of that monstrosity, a grin settling on his lips, a cruel glance in his eyes as he stabbed the demon right through the head.

He held onto both ends of the cane as the creature wiggled and screamed in pain. The agony erupting in V’s body wrapped around his nerves like barbwire as the harsh movements of the demon threw his body around in a desperate attempt to shake him off, to prevent him from ending its pathetic existence.

But he refused to let the pain hinder him in his task. He would see this through. This pitiful parasite would not live another moment.

“The cut worm forgives the plow. What do you say?” he quoted as he twisted his cane inside the demon’s head, the sound of blood splattering and its life ending with a groan made a smirk appear on V’s face again.

He jumped away from the demon back to the ground, wincing a bit from the pain that still got a hold of his body.

He watched as the parasite sank to the ground alongside the serpents, dissolving into particles and blood. Within mere moments there was nothing left of that obnoxious parasite.

And it took nothing more than mere moments until the giant root of the Qliphoth began to crack and crumble as it was only being sustained by the parasite’s now passed life. Vines and vessels faded and lost their colors before they crumbled leaving nothing but dust behind.

One step closer.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cara held her notebook still in hands as she stared in awe at the display of V’s abilities in battle. She could barely blink as she saw how V stabbed that demon and just held onto it until it finally gave up and was defeated.

She was worried before, admittedly. Seeing how V was being thrown into the clutter of the destroyed market stalls around them did make a shiver run down her spine. It looked frightening and it looked painful and she had called out his name before she could think about her next step. In all honesty, to her it looked as if V hasn’t been capable of continuing that battle. That he stood up and pulled off that finishing move was impressive to her. He certainly did not look like he could pull this off with his lean figure and the cane he occasionally leaned onto…

Once the dust settled again and there was this relieving silence settling over the place after the battle, Cara raised her notebook again. She turned around and started walking slowly with the full intent of leaving this area and finding a calm area to sit and write down everything she could think of now that the stress of the battle was over. She also assumed V needed a place to rest for a while. They would find a secluded area, sit down, let him rest and then call Nico to pick them up for today.

She completely froze in place when she heard a groan accompanied by a clang behind her.

Cara turned around slowly, too slowly, as if her mind was warning her that she wouldn’t like what she was about to see. And the growl of Shadow alongside Griffon calling out V’s name made a lump appear in her throat.

“V,” his name was nothing but a whisper as she saw the man fallen onto his hands and knees, Shadow steadying him so he wouldn’t fall over, his cane out of his hands, strangled pants leaving his lips.

She was at his side in a moment, kneeling next to him, her hands on his shoulders as well to support his trembling body. It was then, that she noticed the blood dripping onto the floor, gathering in a small pool on the ground. Her eyes widened, a sense of dread settling over her as the man barely responded, just breathing heavily and shaking as if he was desperately clinging to his consciousness as to not to faint.

“V, come on, lay down,” she said to him, trying to keep her voice calm. She pulled his shoulders a bit, urging him to just roll over onto his back and to stop him from using his strength to keep him upright. V barely put up any resistance, he didn’t have the energy to do so and with a strangled, painful sounding moan, he tumbled over onto his back. Cara managed to catch his upper body and she was grateful for Griffon and Shadow helping her.

Shadow purred worriedly, but she laid down on the ground and allowed V to rest his head and upper body against her, so Cara could take a look at where the blood was coming from.

“That shithead really did got him. Wish I could roast him again,” Griffon said.

Cara paid little attention to the demon. The wound was easily found and she winced as she saw the stabbing wound on his upper body just below his left kidney. As she looked to the side, to where he was just kneeling, she even spotted a small piece of metal, coated in blood.

Has this thing been stuck in his body the entire time?

He has been fighting while being stabbed?

She focused on the wound again. It was still bleeding. She needed to stop the bleeding before thinking about treating it properly. Cara pressed a hand on the injury, flinching when her hands got covered in his blood. She hated the feeling, she hated the smell. She grimaced again when V groaned in pain.

“I’m sorry,” she was sure he didn’t even hear her. He was rather out of it, his eyes were half squeezed shut, beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. Fighting this battle, getting thrown around and getting such a wound in the process and still pulling off all these moves… she could hardly fathom how he managed to do that. It wasn’t surprising that it all caught up to him now that the battle was done and everything calmed down again.

She dug into her backpack with her free hand and pulled a piece of cloth out of it. She pressed it to the wound instead of her hand. It still wasn’t ideal but it was better than just her hand.

It took a few minutes of V wincing in pain, Cara’s hands trembling, her face twisting as she saw her hands and the cloth being covered in blood, Griffon silently watching the scene and Shadow purring quietly, occasionally licking V’s face to calm him down, until Cara finally was able to say the bleeding ceased.

Oh thank god, it seemed as if nothing had been seriously injured. The issue was that probably any movement now would reopen the wound again. It needed proper treatment, but she neither had the materials nor was this really a place to do so.

She kept her hand pressed onto the wound and dug into her backpack again. She had Nico’s number dialed quickly and put the phone between her shoulder and ear.

Come on, Nico, she thought as she waited for the woman to pick up. Her now free hand absentmindedly settled on V’s bare shoulder, not moving, just settling on his cold skin as a gesture of comfort and a reminder to herself and him that he was not fatally wounded. It was a nasty wound, it hurt him like hell, but he would make it.

“Yo?”

“Nico, thank god, you need to pick us up. Now. V’s hurt.” Cara replied quickly as she heard the woman’s voice, but she kept her own voice steady so she could understand her words properly.

“Woah, woah, what?! Be there right away. Hang in there.”

“Thanks,” Cara responded and put the phone away.

She sighed, trying not to get the dread and worry get to her. She’s been in these kind of situations before, but it was horrific each time. She never ceased to remove the pressure from the wound, but she rubbed her eyes with her other one.

“Hey, sweetie, you’re doing great. It’s appreciated what you’re doing here right now.”

She looked at Griffon, surprised at the unusually kind words. She nodded and thanked him quietly, forcing a small smile onto her face as the panther demon purred in approval. V was still trembling. He still looked as if he could pass out any moment. She never assumed he could pull off moves and skills like this, especially not while having a piece of metal stuck in his body, but she also didn’t expect the fight to drain him this much.

She wouldn’t let him fight completely on his own again.

Even if he had been right about this one. She could’ve landed a few hits but altogether this was not an enemy she could take on on her own. It would’ve required her to climb the root and attack it directly from there, and it was questionable if she could’ve gotten enough hits to kill it.

Cara sighed in relief, her blue eyes lighting up as she heard the familiar sound of Nico’s van approaching.

Let’s get you out of here, V...

#dmc5 #devil may cry 5 #v #nero #nico #griffon #shadow #my oc #cara #my fic #walls #fanfiction #6th chapter #contat

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thatssogayvenrp · 5 years

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Petyr Cliffside | The Shadow Chancellor

The top two floors of Kunt Tower in Astorbury are active crime scenes.

There are no signs of forced entry, which baffles the Orange Battalion captain who has been on duty for the past 36 hours in question. “We were obviously on higher alert,” the Captain insists defensively. “And obviously, that was fruitful, because nobody broke in.”

Cliffside gestures pointedly at the corpse of Dunghill Kunt, in true Mind Flayer form in death without a spell to alter his appearance. The tentacles are a sickly orange. “Then what,” Cliffside says through gritted teeth, “happened here??”

The Captain’s arms remain folded across his armored chest when he shrugs. “An inside job, perhaps?” he shrugs. “The Chancellor has many enemies, including those on his own side.” His hard stare lingers on Cliffside’s gaze with a raised eyebrow.

Cliffside stares back, noting but not verbally addressing the thinly-veiled accusation. “Then can you explain why at least two of your men let somebody into the building?”

“Riiiiiiight, one helpless woman snuck in and killed several people, including the most powerful psionic in the country. Twice,” the Captain scoffs. “Fine, fine. Shrub, Paul, get over here.” He summons two guards posted at the stone door leading to the garbage lift.

They approach, looking more annoyed than professional. Their shift was supposed to end at 10, but whatever the hell happened here has ruined their plans.

“Yes, Captain?” Paul, the taller of the two, asks, his question filled a little bit of bite.

“Describe the lost woman.”

“She was, uh...” Paul struggles to remember. “She was looking for a club? Something about a foam party?” The very distinct window of her shirt, showing a hint of glistening skin...

“What did she look like?” Cliffside asks impatiently.

Paul finds it best to keep his limited observations quiet.

Shrub, with less tact, pipes up. “She was...hot?”

Well, there goes that. “Bro, she WAS,” Paul admits.

“She invited us to a party.”

“She’s waiting for us NOW.”

“Hah, I think she’s waiting for ME —-“

“Gentlemen, please.” Cliffside presses his fingers to his temple, feeling the imminent headache coming on. All of this is an absolute mess.

The Captain, only mildly embarrassed about his men’s antics, waves away Cliffside’s anger. “Sure, say this is the woman that got into the building. You expect me to believe she alone did all of —-this?” He gestures broadly to the entire room, littered with the dead bodies of Bannaruk, Kunt, and Mknaw’l. The tortle shell is badly charred and an acrid burn smell still lingers.

It’s useless to get anything more out of the Captain at this point. Cliffside excuses himself and goes to the top floor. The stone statue doors have been propped open with heavy anvils to ensure continued access as Orange Battalion soldiers file in and out to investigate. Without Kunt’s psionic directives to the statues, it’s unclear how else to keep the doors open, and it’s surprising that this actually works.

On his way through the first room, Cliffside addresses the dwarf statue, animated and quietly thrilled by all of the activity around him.

“You there,” Cliffside barks. “Statue.”

“Uhm, it’s Dwayne,” the statue corrects.

“And Hercules!” the other statue calls from the open, adjacent room. Cliffside turns to see the other animated dwarf statue waving.

“Hey pal, this is my conversation with an outsider, get your own,” Dwayne barks.

“Years of suspense and mystery and I finally get to hear your voice,” Hercules shoots back. “Safe to say I am underwhelmed.”

The headache has definitely manifested and Cliffside wonders how everyone has managed to be so annoying on the same day at the worst possibly time. He crosses to the second room so he can stand between both statues.

Kunt would never give objects names, Cliffside notes. Curious. “Enough, both of you. Tell me about the people that came through here.”

“Why do you wanna know?” Hercules asks with a laugh. The five were an odd bunch, but they were a lot chummier than anyone else who had crossed through and attempted the puzzles. Would it kill some of these adventurers to have a sense of humor? Yeesh.

“Yeah, you gonna kill ‘em or something?” Dwayne jokes.

Cliffside’s expression is dark. “Yes.”

The smile on Dwayne’s face vanishes. It’s unclear if Cliffside notices.

“Remember who you serve,” Cliffside reminds them.

“The big boss man?” Hercules offers in answer, completely ignoring the rhetorical nature of the statement.

“Yeah, didn’t one of you guys —“ Dwayne nods at Cliffside, “— say he was dead?”

Cliffside rolls his eyes. It’s not like these statues could leave this tower and tell everyone the truth of what happened. “Yes, he’s dead. Whatever.”

The statues exchange a look but it’s unclear whether Cliffside catches that too. Hercules shoots a subtle nod across the room and Dwayne seems to consider the question for a moment.

“Uh, four of them I think?” Dwayne finally answers. “Couldn’t see very well.”

“Seriously,” Hercules interjects, “would it kill you to put better lighting in here? I know we are modeled after dwarves, but does that mean that we actually have darkvision?”

Cliffside rolls his eyes. “What did these four look like?” It was like pulling teeth getting information out of anyone today. It was unclear if everyone was hiding something or just simply obtuse. Could have been both, but neither one was appreciated.

“A woman with brown hair. A dwarf. A tall, bald goliath. Another lady with visible bosom. That’s all I got,” Dwayne says with a shrug. He remembers more but omits further details. He omits completely the curly redhead and the fact that the goliath was carrying something extra on the way out. Although this guy here speaks authoritatively, he is NOT the Bossman, and the Bossman left no instructions to answer anyone else truthfully.

Hercules agrees from across the room. The five were probably only joking when they said they would return (maybe not the bosom lady, though, she had a wild sort of sincerity about her that he found himself believing), but they would definitely not return if they were dead as this man wanted them to be.

Cliffside rolls his eyes as he waves off the statues and continues into the final, cavernous room. None of the statues’ descriptions matched anyone from any wanted posters. Maybe the brown-haired woman but that was too vague of a description to go off of.

It was maddening, getting so little information out of everyone in this tower. Cliffside knows there is likely more detail. He kicks himself for not having his own informants in the tower, but remembers that that was made more difficult by the fact that this was Kunt’s private property and was regulated as such. But to have held someone captive on government property would have been even more dangerous. It’s all beside the point now, Cliffside has to remind himself, as the damage has already been done and they can only move forward at this point.

Rihan trots up to Cliffside as he enters the room.

“News of the others?” Cliffside asks.

Rihan knows he is referring to the other nobles in power. “Hiding. Scared. Everything you would expect, especially after the anarchist attack on Zechman’s Estate.” Rihan shrugs. “They know this could have been them if they were here.” Rihan leans in for a whisper. “They are now even more convinced that The Plan should be carried out, some say immediately. Be careful what you wish for.”

Cliffside shakes his head, keeping his voice low. “Not the time yet.” Indeed, not the time, especially when the unrest in the cities was building but could still be undermined. Better to divide and disperse that growing momentum before the final blow, to ensure that everyone stayed down when struck.

“No,” Cliffside says, “best not to let anyone know what happened here. Not until we get control of the situation. As relieved as I am that this bastard is dead, we can’t deny that he has a very loyal following. It is small, but they have taken his influence and words to heart. They will tear our cause apart if we do not secure their loyalty.”

Cliffside looks at the tall metal spikes at the center of the room. The half-elf, the presumed and self-declared guiding hand behind the resistance movement, is gone.

“We don’t want anyone to think the anarchists have bested us,” Cliffside continues. “But we tell them that —“ he considers for a moment, “—tell them their terrorist figurehead is dead. That should fracture some of the support and send the message that we are not to be challenged.”

”But we don’t know that she’s actually dead,” Rihan points out. “Do we want to risk her being seen and reviving any momentum.”

”We will handle that if it arises,” Cliffside says, surveying the debris at the foot of the spikes for anything left behind. Nothing. “And we tell the public that the Chancellor has been removed to an undisclosed location for his safety, in light of the incidents here.”

“And of Mknaw’l, Banarruuk, and the two hags?” Rihan asks.

Cliffside looks down at the bodies of the two hags and considers this for a moment.

“Mknaw’l and Banarruuk have been removed for similar reasons. It will not do to have lost so many influential members of our movement in one fell swoop,” Cliffside says. “But we say the hags were killed in cold blood, targeted for nothing more than their support of a popular figure. That could drum up some sympathy and anger in our favor.”

He looks down at his splinted fingers, healed but still sensitive from his run-in with the half-elf. “Tell the other nobles that we have some work to do,” Cliffside says. “We have to make sure this doesn’t happen to us as well.”

#BoE #petyr cliffside #congrats you have reached the end of Act 1

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

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@destielonfire replied to your post “You've been around for a while in the SPN fandom, right? I was...”

i'm sorry about the chronic pain, I can understand how that doesn't leave much room for enthusiasm or writing or anything else..... I was wondering though, you say you got what you wanted from the characters, but is that also true about destiel? Or does that no longer matter to you in the sense that you'll just be happy to see it play out however the writers want? (not a wanky question, I am honestly curious)

Thanks :) And, yeah... Destiel too, but in a weird way where obviously I still want it to pay out MORE and BETTER and more easy to read as canon, but literally since I got invested I have been pretty much non-stop since season 9 convinced that I knew exactly what the last shot we'd ever see of those two together was:

- that was how it was gonna happen. Cas said he loved them, and then bam before Dean knew it, he's dead at his feet and that's a wrap, folks!

As you can see, with more canon to come and Cas returning along with it, I'm at a bit of a loss to process past my point of "welp that's going to happen one day" in my bitter grumpy "oh they'll make it canon alright" feeling here. I mean I'm not even THAT bitter about stuff in general on the show, but I sort of nurtured in my heart of hearts the grim acceptance this was my worst case but also 70-90% likely endgame scenario for making it canon, to keep my expectations sensible. And this model is not how Cas dies in general - this is the very specific "this is how canon happens" thought. If the show ended on this shot, we'd have had that to work off to yell forever about if it was canon or not, and maybe got a Korrasami-style explanation later but without the happy ending.

Breezing past the endgame before it was meant to happen is a bit confusing :P

And other stuff like the Sam and Dean development, or their personal growth - again, this season tidied things up in such a way the spoilers for next season about character development are like, "and then Sam carries on being chill and in charge" and I'm like, one, cool love it all aboard, two, who is this guy. Because the whole long painful Carver era grind through all the meta and spec was a grim hope that ONE DAY MAYBE the show would even get to MAKING its point instead of waffling around hinting while putting almost the opposite picture in the main text with only subtextual clues that it was all fucked up and meant to change.

By the time it started getting to the point it was all going too fast - like, I should have braced myself to speculate beyond this point after Sam was like "it's called sublimation Dean" and Dean snarked about that's him alright. Like, seriously. Miscalculation on my part, and then we barrel into season 12 in full force and systematically work through entire checklists that have just been sitting around gathering dust on everyone. And even if we're not at the END of the checklist, it's like, Carver just wrote all the points on the checklist up for us and made us aware of everything that had to change. And even when little bits of character change came, they were still quite quiet, and not really addressed as solid changes that paid off, and then the end of season 11 was all crowded and messy trying to wipe the slate clean, and only with the last conversation with Amara and Chuck, and then the promise of Mary coming back, do we get an idea change is coming...

I mean I have been browsing old meta tags on and off this hiatus and we all made the required checklists for what we hoped Mary was going to do in the narrative, but something about Carver era just really wore me out like we could say all this needs to happen but would we just get more and more nonsense showing the problem without delivering the answer? And with no clue how it was supposed to look or could play out or, again, that anything could continue after it. Most spec was hedging bets on, well, we'll get some resolution with Mary but then they'll kill her off... and they're like hey we removed Mary from the board but she is SO not dead, she's kicking more ass than ever! Like... okay. Cool. Cool cool cool. What?

And no one's *fixed* and some of these things aren't exactly OVER, like, performing!Dean symbolically died and we had a whole rebirth followed by breaking down Mary's walls too thing, but I still expect Dean not to act magically cured, and he was wearing short shorts in 11x04 anyway so it's a fluid development that's been going on for ages, but tiny nods like the shorts that he might be feeling better and more comfortable were great but not playing a role in the narrative, while now it has BEEN the narrative and his entire conclusion to season 12 in his personal arc was this great coming together of his personal arc Carver set up and the new angle to attack his childhood trauma Mary brought to the table, and it's DEEP and actually getting to the heart of things and unpacking the characters and exploring how they feel and putting it all out there.

And I can't even explain Sam - just know that until this season I only had one thing I ever really cried about in this show, which was Bobby's death, and then somehow out of nowhere, Berens hit me so hard I SOBBED when Sam uncovered the Colt and looked at it in tears with his eyes, so clearly SOMETHING epic happened there in his characterisation and his own personal growth. (Sam's personal growth tends to hit me in hindsight about what it was all about... It's almost like I need to be 3 seasons clear to understand it properly >.>) And then 12x22 managed to completely beat me up on both Sam and Dean AND Mary's behalf and I cried a bunch more times, very confused about when the show changed to something I cried about the emotional stuff in... I cry very easily at OTHER things. I spent the last couple of days WEEPING about [static noises] in The Adventure Zone, and the Orphan Black finale, and I've got a low investment in OB, I just like watching it. I cried at its previous season finale as well. SPN just isn't a tear jerker for me, and it's not tuned that way in general? And this season the writing has changed to doing SOMETHING with the characters that puts it into the territory where they're wringing our investment in the characters in a GOOD way and I think it's to do with the changes and the sense of finally overcoming and growing and being free of the weights piled on them over the years. Even just the PROMISE that that might happen is shocking enough, really :P

Like long term 12x22 is probably going to lose some of its punch once we see where this development goes and HOPEFULLY we work our way to the real resolutions. But just in terms of emotional attrition from Carver era, it's just a massive RELIEF to have some things spoken out loud, and other things like the grenade launcher game they put in the subtext, to be acknowledged and played with in a way which really really WORKED to convey that they WANT to positively develop their characters and maybe it's a waiting game but they seem to want to actually DO it.

And I'm basically just in shock :P

And with the Destiel stuff, then, to go back to how it all makes me feel, I feel like there's maybe a very real possibility they're going to do some pretty amazing things with it, canonical ending or not, for a subtext gremlin like myself I can't even BEGIN to grapple what they might throw at us, because I can barely process what they already have given us, because it's almost completely unbelievable to me because I've lurked in fandom so long waiting for them to actually make a move? Practically, the meta I read at the end of season 9 still broadly applied at the start of season 12, but immediately and mercilessly got resolved or changed up or turned on its head and shaken all about, and I'm too tired to keep up :P

So I don't know, there's a large part of me that's now content to watch it play out, but mostly because I feel like the way it's pandered it's crossed a lot of lines with the stuff they have given us like mixtapes and an "i love you" and angel/human romance episodes and Dean being singled out to kneel at Cas's lifeless body... I mean 12x10's actual concept was like a ridiculous dream back when, reading meta about all these season 8 human/monster relationship episodes, and the interspecies romance in Bloodlines using 6x20's dialogue and so on. They explored it all obliquely, and some parallels like the one in the LARP episode or the Prometheus episode were pretty blatant Crypt Scene foreshadowing to the point people were speculating it before it happened in good detail, AND romantic AND interspecies romances at that. But an actual episode unpacking not just angels and humans and how they mix, but to tie it to Cas, and to tie Cas to Dean directly? If you dropped 12x10 in the middle of season 8, the meta writers would have literally exploded. No survivors :P

And that's the positive remains of the season 8 meta bubble I still read when I was there in season 9 and it was getting bitter, and then I weathered season 10 and with the plot accordion and the beginnings of putting Cas somewhere else to delay everything with Dean, getting back to it with 3 personal episodes and loads of other moments which explored how Cas REALLY felt and related to humanity and "humanity"? I mean... wow.

And there's a part of me desperately trying to keep everything in context, to remember this journey as it unfolded from right back in the days where it was all snide and borderline cruel gay jokes and now it's a narrative goliath... And even to remember how sparse and painful and scavenging for Destiel subtext scraps season 10 was or something... But that part of me that's trying to keep it all in context literally can't handle season 12's context because it defies all the previous ways you're supposed to handle it. It's too hot to hold onto and you have to drop it. Which I appear to have done, because in the sense of waiting and expectations and wondering wtf canon would look like or what the writers would dare to do... All the things like that, they've actually just ALREADY crossed all the lines my careful expectations were set to? Because I always tried to listen to the bitter, careful, don't get your hopes up side of things because it sounded much more healthy to take it all as a pleasant surprise...

I don't know where it's all going and I can't take it as a promise of canon or even dare to raise and sort of hope that it's going to get more canon from here. But's going to get more INTERESTING from here, for sure :P And I feel like in season 13 I will be in business to write a LOT of meta. I just can't even begin to grapple with what they're going to throw at us before we see it...

#replies #destiel #season 13 speculation #ish #season 12 kicked my butt and it was Bobo's fault #12x22 #12x23 #riverboat gambling

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arachcobra · 5 years

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Naruto Episode 7, 8 and 9 Review

Enter the cowprint ninja and his boomerang blade of doom.

Review of Naruto Episode 7, 8 and 9: The Assassin of the Mist! The Oath of Pain! And Kakashi: Sharingan Warrior

ArachCobra

So we start out with our intrepid crew being rowed to the Land of Waves through the fog. We get some exposition about Gato, who's a very small colossal asshole and how he has broken the land. The Tazuna emotionally blackmails three teenagers and a grow man into risking their lives for him, despite the fact that they're only here because he lied in the first place. You're so sympathetic, Tazuna.

Yes, I know it's a joke. Doesn't make it funnier or any less dickish.

So then they arrive and start going through the forest, with Naruto scowling at Sasuke all the way, thinking about how cool he is and how he'll prove himself better. At this point, he's moments away from pulling his dick out and yelling: “LET'S MEASURE THEM!”

So then to prove how badass he is, Naruto runs ahead and stars attacking random shrubbery, just to prove how on guard he is.

You see, Naruto isn't very smart.

Then he almost murders a rabbit. He's so apologetic that he starts rubbing the rabbit all over himself. It's weird.

Then Kakashi realizes that the rabbit is white and must have been saved from winter to be used for substitution. Which raises some questions. Like, does ninjas have to prepare materials for substitution? If yes, does that mean Kakashi has a stack of logs somewhere? And if no, why would anyone bring a rabbit when there's probably a thousand less suspicious objects in a forest?

Then Zabuza throws his sword at them like a Frisbee. I have no idea how he manages, but it looks stupid. It slices into a tree and he just materializes on top of it so he can look all dramatic.

Now, before I continue, I actually do like Zabuza. I like his second outfit better than the cow-print and I do think his intro is silly. But as a villain, I like him. Unfortunately, Zabuza is a severe victim of being off-model these episodes. At one point, his torso is stretched, in another his pants have been pulled up to his nipples and in one shot, it looks like he broke his neck just so he could glare at our protagonists from under his armpit.

Anyway, Naruto takes one look at this guy who's build like four brick outhouses stacked together and made from pure muscle, wielding a sword that's bigger than he is and just goes: “Yeah, I can take him.”

You see, Naruto is a bit of an idiot.

Kakashi has to point out that no, he can't take Zabuza on and reveals his right eye. We are informed that its a sharingan. It apparently allows you to see very well. So the fighting begin and fog envelops the area.

Now, we're informed that Zabuza is the master of the silent kill technique. So of course, he start yapping about all the ways you can kill a man. The tension of it all gets to Sasuke, who's having a surprising moment of vulnerability. That ends with him wanting to kill himself. Yeah, maybe that's a tad bit too vulnerable. Anyway, it's okay, Kakashi comforts him.

Then Zabuza gets ready to kill them all.

But then Kakashi appears and kills Zabuza.

But it was just a water clone and Zabuza appears and kills Kakashi.

But it was just a water clone and Kakashi appears and stops Zabuza.

But it was just a water clone and Zabuza appears and kicks Kakashi in the stomach.

Then things get a little weird. I think what happens is that Kakashi, while being kicked in the lake, drops some caltrops. Zabuza then stops in front of them and spends some time talking about how Kakashi thought he could delay him with the caltrops, thus being delayed by the caltrops by talking about how the caltrops aren't delaying him. Then he backflips into the lake and catches Kakashi, who's spend all this time floating like a rubber duck, in a bubble.

Then he summons another water clone to attack the crew, which it does with gusto. Naruto tries to flee, but then sees his own bandaged hand and remember he swore to never give in, never surrender. And therefore, he has to fight the musclebound blademaster goliath that is Zabuza.

Point actually goes to Sasuke here. He also realizes they have to fight. But his reason is much smarter. That without Kakashi, Zabuza will just hunt them down and then kill them.

Sakura yells warning and occasionally she and Tazuna groans like they decided to spend their off-screen time vigorously banging each other.

Anyway, Naruto charges Zabuza and then gets the shit kicked out of him. But he got his headband back, so it's all cool.

Then he and Sasuke performs this actually pretty clever strategy. Naruto jumps him with some clones of his own, transforms into a giant shuriken, passes it to Sasuke, who throws both it and his own big shuriken(Not sure when he got one of those, but whatever), forcing Zabuza to catch one and jump over the other, only for Naruto to transform back and throw a kunai, so Zabuza has to let go of the prison and let Kakashi go free to avoid getting an impromptu lobotomy.

As I said, this is actually a very clever strategy that, for the most part, utilizes the skills we've seen and gives a believable way that the characters can outmatch Zabuza, without negating everything we know about Zabuza.

But here's the problem.

This entire combo relies on Naruto and Sasuke being so in sync that they can concoct and perform such a strategy without communicating.

Bull.

Fucking.

Shit.

Those two have shown nothing but scorn for each other so far. The most teamwork we've seen was in the bells test. There's no way they've fought enough together to be able to pull that off. And don't tell me their rivalry allows them this insight. They've barely interacted with each other. Maybe if they had fought with each other for years, I could buy it, but here, no way.

Anyway, Kakashi gets free and him and Zabuza attack each other simultaneously by spending half a minute chanting and then summoning water dragons to bite each other.

I'm unsure how that technique would be useful in battle, but okay.

Then they clash in melee. You'd expect this to be a tense battle where Kakashi would have to use all his acrobatic skills to avoid Zabuza's superior reach and power.

Instead, Kakashi blocks Zabuza's blade with his own dinky kunai and then they stand there pressing against each other while grunting. It's kinda lame to be honest.

Kakashi then wages a campaign of psychological terror against Zabuza and overwhelms him, smashing him through the forest with a water spout. It's actually pretty cool. But just as he's about to finish the swordsman off, he gets needled in the throat. The swordsman, that is.

A masked ninja shows up and says he's been hunting Zabuza for going rogue.

And then Naruto gets super pissed that someone that young could be that much more powerful and skilled than him, yelling about why are they there and that they don't know anything. Rarely is Naruto this much on point.

And then Kakashi faints.

All in all, an enjoyable battle with some issues. Sakura feels completely superfluous, but I suppose somebody did have to guard Tazuna, just in case.

Givenea

Let’s just start at the beginning of episode 7, shall we. The gang is in a boat on the final stretch of the journey to the Land of Waves, and Tazuna finally comes clean about everything, from his reason for lying about the assignment to just how much danger they will be in. This is where Kakashi actually sounds like the leader of the inexperienced team he has, as he contemplates if they can handle it.

BUT FORGET ABOUT THAT, before anything can come of this, can even be properly discussed, Tazuna guilts them into continuing by saying his family will be sad if he dies. Then he turns to the camera, holds up two fingers, sends us the most shit-eating grin and proclaims “I win” in an almost singsong voice.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS ASSHOLE???!!!

Anyway… once ashore, they run into the terrifying rogue-ninja Zabuza Momoji, who traps Kakashi in a bubble, forcing Naruto and Sasuke to enact a daring and complicated plan to save him, while Sakura… does her job and protects their client???

Okay, I’m just gonna put this here… SAKURA NEEDS TO BE UTILIZED MORE! SHE NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO!

Anyway, Naruto’s plan involves him attacking Zabuza, then making a bunch of clones and attacking again, to disguise that he has turned into a giant shuriken, which one of his clone tosses to Sasuke, who pairs it with his own giant shuriken (PS. He has one of those) and tosses both at Zabuza who catches one and jumps over the other. But uh-oh, the second shuriken was Naruto, who now transform back and throws a kunai at Zabuza’s face, forcing him to let go of the bubbled Kakashi, who breaks free.

Naruto then explain that the purpose of the plan was always to free Kakashi and that he only had to toss the Naruto-shuriken at Sasuke for him to be completely in on everything.

Sakura then declares Naruto and Sasuke the perfect team.

And… I don’t buy it… Nope… Not even for a second… Na-ah…

Naruto and Sasuke has up to this point never communicated really. Naruto has whined that Sasuke is too cool for him to keep up with and thrown a few insults. Sasuke has ignored Naruto, aside from a few times where he has mocked him.

So, I don’t believe, not even the tiniest little bit, that they are capable of this level of understanding and teamwork.

This scene comes too early for that. If this was the season finale and we had seen them train and grow and learn together for some 20 episodes, seen them develop a begrudging respect, as they fought together and got used to each other’s different strategies and fighting styles, then sure.

Here… It’s just stupid, go back to square one and try again.

Fluttersniper13

There was the boatman who said he couldn't take them all the way, but he clearly almost did and then the forest of boredom, and then Zabuza show up with his boomerang blade of doom. And his amazing silent kill technique of never shutting the fuck up and taking way too fucking long to do anything. Sakura is useless, Naruto is useless, Sasuke is useless. Tazuna just stand their gormless and Kakashi look like he wants to be anywhere but here. Then dragons out of nowhere, tsunami and needle to the throat. Naruto says some stupid shit and Kakashi decides to take a nap. The end.

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13125294/6/Naruto-Rewrite-1-Road-to-Ninja

#naruto #naruto rewrite #review

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rassasassalin · 6 years

Text

Merry Christmas, everyone! Especially for the poor folks that have to work during the holidays.

Dude, I'm gonna cry at the first fucking sign I see tonight being a get well soon Dean one. I mean, I love it, but also I'm in serious emotional pain here.

On a totally separate note, Corey and Booker are looking Hella.

On an even separater note, what is with the bees sign.

Goddammit John Cena stop doing sweet things like this I want to be annoyed at how you're never going to be a fucking heel even though you should be.

...them doing Christmas in Chicago worries me. Hopefully the crowd will be nice tonight?

WHOO, ELIAS, WHOO!!! -also happy rusev day to the dude holding that sign, a happy rusev day to us all- I love when he does his drifter thing. I mean, I like him being in the center of the ring too, but I really like it when he walks and plays at the same time.

Elias: WWE stands for Walk With Elias Everyone else: Oh shit, he's right!

Welp. 7 minutes in. Couldn't go for fucking 7 minutes with a CM Punk Chant. ANd poor Elias is wrong. Even when he's not here, Punk's gonna end up interrupting.

I really love Elias. I can't believe how much I love Elias and Cena interacting. Holy shit. Holy shit. I can't wait til that gets gifed. Elias is a Gift. Chicago wasn't even booing about how shitty Chicago is. Chicago knows. Cena, nobody was booing, what are you doing- I mean, I know what you're doing, but still. Cena, It's Chicago, they ARE jerks.

Are we gonna get a Christmas Carol with Elias? Because I would hella watch an Episode of Raw where Elias is Scrooge and has to deal with various Ghosts of Christmas to teach him the true meaning of Christmas.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD, ELIAS IS THE BEST, WHAT A MAN No, Elias you dumbfuck, don't keep going after Cena, he's down, leave the fucking ring before gets up and kills yo- oh no, not a match, Elias you were doing so good now you're going to loooooooooooose because you're being an asshole and it's Christmas. Babe, you giant hipster asshole, why couldn't you have just given the suckerpunch and left while you were in control and winning?

Sometimes I forget how strong Elias is. I don't know how I manage to do that, because look at the fucking man, but I do. Maybe it's the scarves. Or the cut of his jeans. Probably the cut of his jeans. If he wore normal jeans, I'd think he looks like a brawny lumberjack viking hybrid. But his jeans are way too much something I'd see someone wearing in Starbucks.

Things I hope Elias doesn't do tonight: Tap. He can get pinned, he can pass out, but I really don't want him to quit.

Yep, a pin. Well, you know what, It was a good match. Elias looked awesome in it, so I'll take it. A heel, after all, is only as good as the Faces they can be beaten by. Not counting the David and Goliath kind of flukes, which are great when they happen but not common.

Give Seth Samoa Joe, Kurt. Jason, shut up, I appreciate you but let Seth have his revenge which is more pressing than your own. Kurt, don't make Seth team with Jason. He can't team with that face. Fuck, I miss Dean. Seth looks so tired tho, seriously, is he doing okay? Holy shit Roman paid off Kurt so HE could get Joe all to himself. Roman. Roman, did you talk to your Shieldmate about thhhhHHHAAAAAAAA CRUISERWEIGHTS

Kendrick! JACK! KENDRICK VS HIDEO!!!!! Jack's little eye rolls are adorable. I love heel Jack. He's like an old Bond Villain. I love posh and technically polite but definitely Heel Brits. It's a cliched trope but it's so good when it's played right. It reminds me of Regal when I was watching him and I was old enough to really appreciate his character.

Jack please, behave yourself so you don't get killed by a knee. I'd really appreciate if you stay around because I love you and I don't want you dead.

Things that bother me about wrestling: when wrestlers roll down their kneepads or take off their elbowpads when they're about to hit a move. I always worry about them hurting themselves when they do it. Always. Everytime.

I'm reminded now how much I really liked Steph's outfit last week. I don't think I even really noticed it at the time, because I was thinking too much about what was happening in the ring, and what was to come, but now definitely, I can sit back and be like, damn, I wish I could pull that look off.

...oooooh nooooo the rumble's in phillllllly shittttt

AW THEY'RE SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE BO AND CURTIS And.... they're actually not that bad at singing??? Wow. I'd give them some figgy pudding. Merry Mizmas, everyone, and a Happy Rusev Day~

I love when Paige's entrance is going, and she comes out and the lights hit her just right and she looks like she's tinted purple. Makes her look like she could be a villainess in a comic book.

You know one day, maybe they'll actually go full circle with the whole story about Bailey not going to be able to really go all out like she should in the ring as far as going "hardcore" goes, and she's going to do it by murdering all the other female wrestlers around, beating them with kendo sticks until she breaks them- the sticks, that is, not the other wrestlers- and knocking them around with chairs and shit, and then she ends up ruling the women's division with an iron hug on ECW- which will totally exist again by this time and Dean will be the face of it so that he can let his mouth go and do the wrestling that he does best but just not quite as hardcore because let's be real I don't want him actually seriously getting hurt and/or cutting himself or his opponents open anymore, but there should be a nice balance that can be reached between nasty looking bumps and staying safe.

Things that always makes me wince with women's wrestling: when a chick just faceplants straight onto the mat. It makes my tits hurt just thinking about it.

Oh wow, okay, I didn't think a heel would win tonight. Curious. But then, Absolution can't really loose right now, fair enough. It'd kill their momentum.

STOP FUCKING SHOWING DEAN GETTING HURT. Goddammit WWE why do you do this to me, I used to know that if someone actually got hurt, I'd know because you wouldn't show it. Now you're like, hey no, let's watch it against thirty-two times, let's watch it again now in Slow Motion. You did this to me when Enzo nearly died, you did this to me when Cesaro fucked up his teeth, you did it when Seth destroyed Cena's nose, I just really fucking don't appreciate this.

Renee: Hey Joe, you wanna apologize to me for fucking up my husband.

Joe: Dean can be home with those he loves the most. Renee, his actual wife, who is not at home with him at Christmas: ..................

Heath, baby, why didn't you get your kids christmas presents??? Rhyno, why are you trying to kill Heath? This was not what I was picturing when you said you were going to toughen up Heath. I was hoping for like, Rocky training montages. Bring in Bob Backland again. Maybe making him eat a whole bunch of crackers without anything to drink. This is ridiculous, and by that, I mean not nearly ridiculous enough.

HELL YEAH RHYNO KICK HIS ASS OH NO RHYNO welp. It was a good attempt.

Trying to figure out if I like the sound of *Merry* Rusev Day. Like, it's not grammatically incorrect, but maybe it's like how you never say Merry Holidays because it just sounds wrong. Merry Hollidays makes me flinch and cringe and want to cry out in confusion. Merry Rusev Day doesn't kick me in the gut quite like that, but it also doesn't really roll off the tongue, so... Hmm. Must think on it.

Holy shit, Curt Hawkins. Maybe give him a win as a christmas miracle??? Nevermind, It's Finn.

Jesus Christ, why are they having Finn fighting Curt on CHRISTMAS. They really, honestly, don't know what to do with him, do they?

Concept: They use the fact that Finn is obviously being misused and that we all know that Vince doesn't believe in him, to turn him heel. But only heel to those who work for the company. Like, the same but opposite of Roman, where everyone who works for the company treats him like a face despite when he does very heel things like TRYING TO MURDER A MAN WITH A MOTOR VEHICLE, I LOVE YOU ROMAN BUT YOU STILL DID THAT AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SUFFERED NO CONSEQUENCES FOR THAT, ATTEMPTED MURDER SHOULD AT LEAST GET A TITLE SHOT TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU. Seriously tho, heels and faces are changing, they have been for a long time now, the fact that they keep making Heels that have valid points and grievances so the fans are actually sympathetic to them, and we have the people in charge to make that sort of stuff work. It'd just be like, the next step up from what happened in the Attitude Era with Stone Cold and Vince- in that Austin was clearly NOT a GOOD guy, but he was the lesser of two evils, and if I had to choose who to cheer for between him and McMahon, I'd be cheering for the Rattlesnake every time.

One of the Bella's is so making a return during the women's royal rumble and I'm not really excited about it.

BOYS LEAVE GOLDUST ALONE It looks like they got that DVD out of the dollarbin, omg.

Titus, you're beautiful, never change

Oh god, here we go, time for me to love and cry and be uncomfortable and laughing all at the same time. Nice to know that Sister Abigail was a scrooge. More things I don't really like- how they keep doing promos but they're not going at in or around the ring. I feel like they're hyping it up and it's never going to live up to OH MY GOD NEVER MIND BRAY'S ACTUALLY HERE, BRAY MY LOVE, MY DARLING SWAMP SANTA CULT LEADER God I hope when Bray and Matt have their showdown- which obviously must happen on neutral grown between their home compounds- they have like, an actual army on both sides that they can lead. I want a whole hoard of sheepmasks and people wearing clothing made out of brocades and couch covers and shit using shields made of old broken down rowboats. Things I miss from TNA: Matt being able to teleport and shit.

...Guys, I love you, I adore the Bar you set, but that's messed up guys. oh ouch guys, come on, Kurt obviously wants him as his kid, that's harsh, dang.

Oh MAN I HOPE MUSTAFA'S IN THAT STREET FIGHT HE WAS SO FUN DURING THE HALLOWEEN MATCH DUDE. ALSO, maybe a return of Street Drew? Pff, ehehe, "street" drew. What a dweeb. I love him.

....WHERE IS Oh my god. Oh my gooooooooooooood.... Drew.. Drew, why do you let him do this to you? I mean, I like the jacket, it's much nicer than Davari's, but- HE"S GOT NAUGHTY AND NICE ON HIS TAPE AND NOW I ACTUALLY WANT TO CALL HIM SUGARPLUM, dammit Enzo don't make me- LOOK AT DREW APOLOGIZING FOR ENZO TALKING SHIT ABOUT COLE, EVEN THOUGH COLE WAS SO MEAN TO HIM WHEN HE WAS A GUEST COMMENTATOR!!!!!!

New Year, new cruiserweight Champion? One can only hope.

Elf Drew half standing on the second rope, le gasp. What a brave bab- TOZAWA'S WEARING CHRISTMAS COLORS

Aw, Gulak lost his jacket. I really do wish that they had Davari wrestle more. I love hating his character, and it feels like I never actually get to see him do shit anymore.OH SHIT DREW, NO!!!!! CEDRIC, I LOVE YOU, BUT WHY DID YOU LET DRWE RUN INTO ENZO LIKE THAT, DREW'S GONNA GET IN TROUBLE FOR THAT, STOPPING GETTING DREW IN TROUBLE, HE CAN GET INTO ENOUGH OF THAT BY HIMSELF. That camera work was honestly not great during this match tho, honestly, I feel like I missed so much during it??? But we can ignore all that and be thankful for being able to see Drew Gulak with his naughty and nice fists, and getting to see Tozawa being festive, and Cedric getting a win over Enzo, and most importantly, Mustafa getting a win in his hometown. Savor it, because that shit doesn't happen every day in the WWE.

Why do they gotta fucking hamfist this fucking shit with Nia and Enzo? Why couldn't they like, ease into it? I can't. I literally can't even watch this shit, I can't, I'm embarrassed by it all OH THANK GOD ALEXA, BEST COCKBLOCK thank you from saving from that. I think I wouldn't hate it quite so much if they didn't both "How y'doin'?" to each other so much, there's something about how it clearly doesn't come easy to her to say it and it the script is so hokey and it's not like, charming hokey. It's less well written than the stuff they did between Enzo and Lana, and that's saying something.

Roman kills me when he holds the belt like that. If he was an actual heel, and treated like a heel, and he was doing it because he doesn't give a shit about the title, then that'd be fine. That'd be good character work.

Nice drive by by Roman tho. That's good shit. That's what I came to see. Also, i could totally be wrong, absolutely wrong here because I don't have the volume up very high, but was the crowd chanting for the Bruiserweight? I might just have UK Wrestling on my mind and am hearing things wrong. God, I want a weekly UK show. Even a monthly one. I'd put up with once a month as long as at least every three months, I get to see Dunne and Bates fight. Joe does such a great Uranage. And the way he flies through the ropes. Who gave such a hoss of a man the right to be so nimble? Yes, thank you Book, nine months without Dean, that's fucking great. On the plus side, when he comes back, oh the Pop. He's gonna get such a pop.

Ah yes, see? Roman doing heel things despite being a Face. You can't go messing with the ref's, my sweet. If he was just going to go and kill Joe, he might as well have invited Seth to join in with him. SHUT UP COREY DEAN'S CAREER IS FINE They've been using the steel steps a lot lately. And fucking with people's throats. Does somebody on the writing team have an odd kink? I mean, I'm not super complaining- well, I'll complain about the throat things just because I feel like it's too easy for mess up and really seriously hurt someone like that, and also because the coughing gagging noises the guys tend to make afterward sets off my own gag reflex and I hate that-, because it could definitely be worse. It's not a something on a Pole match, at least, but... eh.

Beating the Bah, Seth? What a cute. YOU WHAT MOTHERFUCKER???? JASON OFFICIALLY HEEL, OFFICIAL HEEL Also glad to see, upon closer inspection, that Seth doesn't actually look totally exhausted, it's just that he has a bit of a lingering bruise around the eye. Maybe a bit of a shiner.

Welcome Back, Bo and Curtis, you lovely gifts you. WHOO! Singalong~ NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY BABIES!!!!!!!!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO MY BABIES THEY AIN'T BEEN DOING NOTHING BUT SINGING NICE CAROLS AND GIVING OUT GIFTS TONIGHT Rip, Bo, you were killed by a beautiful clothesline. Curtis is going to break his neck again, gonna have to go back to wearing the brace. Okay Braun, you won, no please just leave the ring and not continue to murder my boys, don't be a grinch, don't be a grINCH BRAUN PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO THE CROWD, DAMMIT just leave my trash boys lay there dead, you're making this a very bad Rusev Day for them.

Bliss looks like she's gonna cry, awwww... Ah, yes, there it is, there's my Asuka's Gonna Kill You chant. Love that chant. Probably more than I should. YES! YES!!!!! I always want Asuka to kick people in the face after she explains to them that they ain't ready for her, and HERE WE ARE! She made me wait for it, but I forgive her.

I give about as much of a fuck about what Brock feels about anything as Brock gives a fuck about Slater's kids. But I'll look forward to seeing Paul

STOP. FUCKING. SHOWING. THAT. SHIT. WITH. DEAN. THANK. YOU. KINDLY.

So, it's not that I have a problem with Jordan turning heel. It's pretty much the clear turn, you know. But I don't like how there doesn't seem to be a reason... why? Like he went from "I'm gonna prove myself Dad!" and going toe to toe with some hella talent, to "Daaaaaaaaad, gimme a maaaaatch...!" to "I'm the best in the world, you should be honored to get to wrestle with me" with like... Well, between the first two there was a reason-ish, with him trying to fight even though he was hurt and because he kept losing and kept getting hurt he had to start whining to get his way. But there was no lead up to this point now. We haven't got to see anyone telling him how good he is, inflating his ego- like, a female who maybe wanted to get better chances at the belt so she starts hooking up with Jordan to try and get good with Kurt or get back at him, like Emma had threatened that one time, that would be something that makes sense- or him getting some cheap fluke wins that he makes out to mean more than they are and he starts to think he's an A superstar instead of a C+ to B one, you know? Now he's all swaggering around talking about how he's better than Ambrose? Who was just hurt last week? To the man's tag team partner who is also his brother? Are you shiting me??? It all feels so inorganic.

I hate when Sheamus doesn't do all ten beats. Like, I know so many other people are ingrates, but I've always adored you Sheamus, why are you punishing *me*, personally? Because that's what that is. It's a personal attack against myself.

Crowd's looking at something, what are they- Ah, yes, Jordan got up, okay. Jordan is definitely physically impressive. I'm looking forward to the point in time when they make his character less obnoxious.

Fuck me, I love when Cesaro does the sharpshooter.

I... um.......... So what I'm getting out of this is.... When Deano comes back, he's going to come back as a well beloved, Austin-like Heel as he makes Jason Jordan's life a living hell for having the balls to take his title? This is... interesting? hmmm....

#wwe raw #monday night raw #sassin about rasslin #merry mizmas to all and to all a swell rusev night #that was super lame i apologize

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yeahwesaidthat · 7 years

Text

TWWS: Late, Late, Late

Yeah, yeah, I know exactly how long it’s been, thanks. Blame life. But hey, at least I’ve got tons of material, including the CAH game referenced in the last post.

I still need votes for the Best of D&D Tiebreaker! Please vote here!

There were some neck-in-neck competitor’s for this month’s MVP, but the title goes to SW for a snappy one-liner that had us all in fits of hysterics. So congratulations, SW!

Overheard at Random

SW: "You know when lumberjacks have a sleepover it's called a lumber party, right?"

About a downright evil video: KH: "Please send that to me so I can traumatise my friends."

Overheard at Work

Recovery on a Saturday: LH: (frustrated scream in the distance) CT: (calls back) "Same!"

About how KH holds her pen: Customer: (watches KH write): "They must've hated you at school." KH: "Yes they did!"

KH: "Remind me to tell you the joke about being in your mid-twenties." CT: "Isn't that the joke?"

About an unknown screechy noise: KH: "What is that lovely sound?" CT: "The suffering of a thousand souls."

Overheard on Skype:

About changes to the Doctor Who finale: KH: (about Missy/Master action): "Technically it would count as masturbation." AP: "MASTER-bation?" KH: "...FUCK, I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN TO DO THAT."

Synonyms for massage therapist: AP: "Masseuse? Massage-ist? Massage-inist? Hehe."

Overheard During Cards Against Humanity

Card: Being circumcised with a deli slicer MR: "Well, it could still be a Kosher deli."

Card: 55-gallon drum of lube RD: "That was someone's throwaway, wasn't it?" SW: "I dunno, that describes plenty of congressmen."

An ounce of [society] is worth a pound of [three years of semen in a shoebox].

After months of practice with [it being too late to stop having sex with a horse], I think I'm finally ready for [the sweet forbidden meat of the monkey].

After months of practice with [when you fart and a little bit comes out], I think I'm finally ready for [a miscarriage].

And the Academy Award for [rock-hard tits and a huge vagina] goes to [an asymmetric boob job].

And the Academy Award for [Meatloaf, the food] goes to [Meatloaf, the man].

In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of [an empowered woman].

About the gay sorcerer card: MR: "He casts flaming sphere."

In the distant future, historians will agree that [a bunch of snot-nosed, know-it-all twentysomethings] marked the beginning of America's decline.

TSA guidelines now prohibit [three consecutive seconds of happiness] on airplanes. MR: "Thank you for flying United."

MGW: "Let's see what you chucklefucks are into..."

The Moment KH grossed-out the most hardened of men: Mmmmm, [the hot dog I put up my vagina ten days ago]...and it's still warm!

About all the ass-related cards: KH: "What is with all the anal?!" MR: "I dunno, it's like the Perfect Butt Storm."

What we've learned about each other: SW: "May it never leave this room." KH: "Oh no, some of it's going on the blog."

Overheard During D&D

About an enemy, in relation to the last post's/session's dick-stabbery: MGW: "We're like, 'There is no dick to punch! What do we do?!'"

About a killing blow, also in relation to the last post's/session's dick-stabbery: KH: "Can we say I stabbed him in the dick and he bled out?" RD: "You are one twisted fuck."

Hidden enemies: MGW: "Is that bush talking shit?" KH: "No, that's the other end."

Hidden enemies talking: MGW: "What a negative bush."

Good vs. bad locations: RD: "Remind me, where is everybody?" JB: "I'm in a bush. Digging around for holes. It's a thick bush."

Leveling up outside the fourth wall: SW (IC): "I feel strange now, guys - like I can wear medium armor."

Phrasing: JB: "You do things when I touch you. I'm talking to my tablet; I'm not talking to my penis."

About the annoying bard and his location: JB (IC): "I told you; he's singing among the stars." KH (IC): "Oh, is he dead?" RD (IC): "We should be so lucky."

Orc rites of passage: JB: "[The chief's] newly manhood-ed son." MR and SW: "Happy Orc Mitzvah."

Sword Bard = Sard, Bard Party = Bardy...: MR: "Come on Sardy, let's go Bardy!" JB: "Uh-uh-oooooh yeah!"

Applying for the Ministry of Silly Walks: MR: "I'm Tom-foolering myself forward."

Goliath logic: MGW (IC): "So, you see, [SW's character], when a man and a woman love each other..." SW (IC): "Oh, tectonic motion?"

Phrasing (again): MR (IC): "...And keep fucking it until it's dead. ...Fucking it with swords." SW (IC): "You've spent too much time in Waterdeep."

About character-related plot hooks for a triton: KH: "No hook." JB: "You're not gonna hook the fish?" MR: "You're not gonna bait him?" KH: "I fucking walked into that one." MR: "We got you right in the net - hook, line, and sinker."

About sentient skeletons: MR: "Just because you're undead doesn't mean you can't be fundead."

When a character trained with Stormtroopers: RD: "You couldn't hit the broadside of a barn from the inside."

Discussing stories: SC: "So I made up this sci-fi machination that doesn't exist..." KH: "So basically a Deus Ex Machination?" SC: "...Yes, that."

Player 1: "What's the name of the monster?" MGW: "Steve."

About (in)convenient infections: Player 2: "Is it a plot disease?"

About KC's monk/druid/bear form: MGW: "So you're Kung Fu Panda?"

About questionable ideas/druidic beast form limitations: Player 2: "Is biting a skull spider really a good idea?" MGW: "We're about to find out, aren't we?"

Trying to talk with a belligerent character: Player 2 (IC): "What does the sign say?" KH (IC): "Sign says 'words of the prophets written on subway walls.'" J (OOC): "Well, she's not exactly wrong..."

The same player keeps trying to listen in on KH's whispers: Player 2: "What language do you say this in?" KH: "Subliminal message."

About birthday wishes coming true for everyone's favourite murder child: SW: "Who knew Gruumsh was a member of the Make a Wish Foundation?" MR: "You're suggesting [child]'s terminal!" SW: "Have you seen the company her mother keeps?"

About murder child's mother (KH's character): MR: "She's one of the four soccer moms of the apocalypse."

About the Zone of Truth spell at a birthday party: MR: "Because it's a kids' party, it's the Discovery Zone."

About a previous adventure: MR: "That was a good time." SW: "That was a very good time. Fuck you, by the way."

About the rogue with loaded dice/"dice guy": JB: "This might get a little dicey." KH: (cringe) JB: "I'm on a roll." KH: (cringes, grabs notebook) JB: "You're not on my side? All six of them?" KH: "STOP IT!"

#twws #that's what we said

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 5 years

Text

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB.

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever.

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about.

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe.

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

#borderlands spoilers #spoilers #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3

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