#this is abt a specific period of my life so idk if it makes sense lol

[finalgirlguy]

An Arundel Tomb, Philip Larkin / As Consciousness Is Harnessed to the Flesh, Susan Sontag / Backwards, Warsan Shire / Radio Silence, Alice Oseman / Witch Burning, Sylvia Plath

#ive just been in such a web weaving mood lately sorry #web weaving #parallels #sylvia plath #philip larkin #susan sontag #warsan shire #alice oseman #maria talks #quotes #w #this is abt a specific period of my life so idk if it makes sense lol

[catnippackets]

My sister in law and I once had a very deep chat where she told me she's a bit jealous of how I'm "capable" of obsessing over interests; I got the feeling that to her it seemed like a specific type of joy she would never really know. In turn, I told her that even though I sometimes wish it had an off switch, I rlly can't imagine a version of myself thay doesn't get joyfully hyperfixated on things, since it's so intrinsic to my personality/neuro-chemistry.

Anyways, I totally relate to that feeling of detached embarrassment, but it was eye-opening to talk abt it with her and see that A) some people really admire the capacity for such "passion" and B) some people genuinely just can't have that experience, which seems both unthinkable and obvious lol

I genuinely can't imagine a life like that for myself either. I've gone through periods of time before where I wasn't hyperfixated on something and genuinely I felt like...deeply empty the entire time. As soon as something new entered my life to fixate on I felt like myself again. I definitely have interests and hobbies that I enjoy in a very normal non-obsessive way but it feels so different and they don't feel like...sustainable. like I'm just living off of bread and milk. idk how else to phrase that. because the things I always hyperfixate on are tv shows and fictional characters I kind of just assumed it came with the territory of being an artist, cuz as a creator it's like...this is what I'm meant to do with my life, right? I know I'm supposed to be telling stories and creating characters and exploring concepts through fiction so it makes perfect sense that I'm depressed without any source of inspiration or rejuvenation. Cuz it's inspiring as hell to be hyperfixated on something!! it gives me endless energy and inspiration to create and that makes me feel amazing.

most of my friends are ND too but I know some of them aren't the same as me in this regard and they've even expressed similar jealousy that they're not someone who obsesses over things. it's both understandable and so weird to me cuz obviously you can't pick and choose what your brain is gonna latch on to but like...you haven't even had ONE time in your life where you spent years only thinking about one thing? not even once? that's unfathomable to me, that's like my entire life.

and while I definitely do not enjoy the embarrassment of having feelings and how upsetting it can be to constantly be distracted from real life tasks that take priority and also feeling self conscious and wondering if I even have a personality sometimes beyond my fave video games/shows/movies, I'm really glad that I'm someone who can experience it cuz it really does feel like I'm just sitting around and waiting if I don't have a story to think about all the time. sometimes I hear people talk about how stressful and sad it is that they feel so deeply and I'm like yeah I mean sometimes but like...what about the joy. what about all the love. there's nothing sad about it! embarrassing sometimes yeah but that's worth it if it means I get to be so deeply happy and excited! I'll complain from time to time but never in a THOUSAND years would I ever want to change this about myself. I will take all the embarrassing annoying feelings if it means I get to experience pure wild autistic joy haha

#ask #Anonymous

[detransraichu]

another long vent about my ex lol

okay so. my transmasc ex, who i thought was only into amab people (aka technically heterosexual sex-wise), is happily going on dates w another transmasc guy who passes as male. and they say that they don't care if they actually pass as a straight woman as long as they're dating someone who passes as male. they'd rather pass as straight than as a lesbian. they're more fem now. i can't stop thinking abt how they showed regret abt top surgery once (asked me if breasts could regrow, hopeful, looking crushed when i said no) and once had a period questioning aligning w womanhood in some way, but they said they related to transfem experiences and felt like they lived as a trans woman since they passed as that, the struggles of it and really wanting to get laser for their hrt facial hair... and then i, who was an ultra over-the-top transfem ally at the time, invalidated them by saying they needed to remember it's not the same as trans women and they're more privileged as an afab person. after both those instances they shut down and never mentioned relating to womanhood again.

so they're only into male-passing people. they thought i would transition so they tried dating me, but i identified as partially female and then fully female and they got distant and started acting like a tough macho man instead of their natural personality and femininity, bc i guess if they're more masc they needed to act like The Man Of The House and consistently pass as male (which they later said they hated). bc if they were openly fem and pass as female w me we would pass as lesbians and that was their worst nightmare with dysphoria. i guess radfem-wise they're bisexual in the technical sense, but only wanna date a male-passing person. which is valid. i feel dumb for still feeling a bit hurt... as a detrans woman i'm like damn, if only i had transitioned... but i would've been repressing my true self and been miserable. and we're incompatible in many ways anyway. but oof

idk... it makes me think pretty irrational things :/ they also made a move on me after the breakup (a specific alter did at least, we both have DID) bc it was an alter of mine who relates to angels so doesn't really relate to human gender/sex bc of trauma. it's a mental illness thing. but only then they were attracted to me. they said those specific alters could date, as long as we were polyamorous... but that alter of theirs barely comes out, so they said i should manage my expectations. it felt like it would be a part-time relationship. our relationship always felt like that from the start, honestly... they were always only partially into me, mostly indifferent, which they blamed on autism. we were sometimes romantic sometimes platonic, i was constantly anxious, insecure and yearning. it almost broke me when they did things w me that night and then suggested that. bc all of me was into them from the start (tho now i know that only a woman who 100% identifies as a woman could satisfy me) but they were into only one part of me part-time. that would have been SOOOO unhealthy for me. i had so many meltdowns, thank god i said no

and now they're dating a transmasc person who lives as male... i'm happy for them, it suits them better. i was never enough, and honestly they were never enough for me either... they were almost never affectionate w me for yearssss but now they're loveydovey abt this guy and all romantic. they had wanted to breakup for years but lied bc they thought i couldn't survive without them as a disabled woman (who had lived without them before and did just fine!!! but whatever). and they fantasized about men all that time, and thought of men when we had sex, and hated their life. it SUUUUCKS. how do i even cope with all of that. it all started bc we were roommates and they kept trying to makeout w them while drunk, then apologizing the next day and pretending nothing happened. i always said "no, do it sober instead." i had to call them out on it one day and ask them if they wanted to date. only one of their alters did, they said yes, we dated. more and more alters paired up romantically, but the alters dating parts of me barely fronted. they had a looot of religious trauma, and were raised in heavy homophobia, so them being with an afab person was a huge deal i think. it's good that they openly happily go on dates w another afab person, i guess... i thought for sure it would be amab people only. most of the ppl they showed me on their dating app were amab. but yeah, good for them. it feels like some form of closure. still feels weird, but i'm relieved too, happy for them as their best friend. at least the reason they weren't into me wasn't my sex/agab. it was bc i wasn't on testosterone (anymore) and didn't get top surgery, and didn't identify as nonbinary or male. i still have mixed feelings, it was such a crazy complicated journey... but whatever, it's over. i can finally move on to hot girls who actually truly want me as i am and hopefully eventually find my person <3 i'm so tired emotionally though lol. if you read all of this bs you're a real one ily 💜💜 i would also love some radfem thoughts on this?? idk

#lay text

[princeofmints]

hey i wanna know more about you because i think youre cool beans

whats the one media that you think is so underrated that you would recommend anyone and everyone to consume

i had to take forever to sit and think abt what the most Niche Thing i like is LKJSLSJG

honestly it is probably Rune Factory but i wouldn't necessarily recommend it to everyone but like

for me it's perfect bc i like farming sims but Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley don't quite cut it for me . i like that Rune Factory is not only more actively a fantasy game w more dungeons in it but has a major active plot (Stardew is very relaxing but the story of it is not nearly dramatic enough to keep me drawn in for long periods of time augh) and i like that if you want animals in ur barn you have to Go Out and tame them urself and not just. buy them. and they do so much... i love the way the monsters function in Frontier i like that you pet them to tame them and that they have specific jobs they each do (i like being forced to tame a variety of monsters if i want to automate my farm the fact you can just assign any monster to do anything in the later games makes me u_u i like having monsters that specifically water or weed, and then having my product monsters and fighter monsters be others/specific ones )

i think in terms of which game in the series i would tell people to play probably 4. i love Frontier and 5 to death but i think 4 takes the crown. sldkgj. i think the bachelors in 5 are my favourites a as group they're all just character types that tickle my brain a lot but 4 is just a more ironed out experience and i much prefer the story in it, and the fact the characters actually interact outside of events makes it so much more charming. and the environment is believable (listen 5 has a lot of shortcomings but it's the one that got me Back Into the series recently so it's special to me

i am very glad that in 5 you can be gay but there is a mod(s) for 4 that allows same sex marriage (it's not flawless but at least i get to be gay with Leon and Dylas and Vishnal. especially Leon)

i like that there is A Lot Of Plot in them but it's still very self guided like there is a sense of peril/impending doom but i can still play at my own pace like Yeah i gotta go restore magic n shit but. i am broke i need to grow some turnips for a sec. or i'm tired let's go fishin'. Not in the mood to adventure today i'm gonna go on a few dates. you don't need to be rushing thru plot to be able to experience things bc the town/farming life is just separate enough from the main story you can choose what ur gonna do with ur time and still be making progress

but like again i wouldn't be like EVERYONE PLAY THESE NOW it's more like. hey do you like farming sims but just wish they had a bit more ?? you like fantasy games but want a self paced experience that doesn't feel like ur completely putting the world on pause when you don't actively run thru it ?? try these <3

also the older games are kind of. dated. lmao like even in 4 there are some moments where i am like "yes this is definitely a 10 year old game" and by god sometimes i'll pick up the games with Raguna in them just like ah yes. 2000's attempts at 'humour' and it's just misogyny that i didn't recognize when i was younger

everything else i'm into tends to have a pretty big fanbase or at least one that i think is like the Right Size. like Obey Me! and Genshin Impact and Kingdom Hearts are incredibly popular and things like Hotline Miami i think have the right size fanbase. idk if there's anything i'd recommend to EVERYONE i tend to be like "hey if you want A and B try this" with whatever it is.

idk if any of this makes Sense but i am happy to ramble abt my silly little farming game bc it's one of the few things i have like. never Accidentally run into content for it's the One Series i find that i have to actively hunt for content for and i think it deserves more

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

Reminds me of your fic where Volo and his togekiss have just been chillin' for the past couple thousand(?) years, only instead of calming way the hell down Bloodmoon Ursaluna got even grumpier and also looks half-dead lol. Volo once took a vacation to paldea and they stumbled across each other, leading to a Spiderman meme moment. They mutually agreed to pretend it had never happened and Volo continued on with his vacation plans without further interruptions.

No but for real, the dialog for how the ursaluna got there just implied to me, personally, that the species itself wasn't long extinct and he had made his way over before they were officially declared so, not that he was one left over from the same time pla took place. Whatever made him look kinda like a zombie likely did extend his life a bit, making him the last of his kind, but not that long. If it had been a zoroark or basculegion, or just an ursaluna that had lost its normal typing to a ghost one when it died, though, I could see it. I figure ghost Pokémon probably have the ability to live (or "live") longer than most others can on average.

tbh i'm just waiting for the next pokemon gen to announce like, "oh wow, it turns out ancient hisuian pokemon aren't extinct after all, look at this rediscovered population!" and/or just make them catchable in a modern timeline game without even commenting on it a la fairy types in remakes. purely so they can have some way to keep hisuian forms accessible as we get further from pla.

and honestly? given that a lot of them are actually reigon-locked evos of pokemon that are canonically still extant, they really wouldn't even need to justify it. like, petilil and rufflet are extirpated from modern sinnoh which is why there are no hisuian lilligant/braviary seen in games, you theoretically could obtain a hisuian form of most of these types simply by bringing them back to that habitat. ursaluna are vanishingly rare bc of an absence of peat due to climate changes and/or are simply very rare and always have been due to their exacting evo requirements (necessitating both a special item and a very specific period of the moon cycle) (they're not even catchable in the wild in pla which supports this idea). i think i've talked already abt my hc that you don't see kleavor anymore purely bc of the wider availability of metal coats, which is by far the preferred evo material for scyther. and then there's sneasel which—and i think i've talked about this before?—i hc as having simply evolved, in the more traditional sense of the word, into their modern form over time, as their habitat migrated northward into more snowy areas (pokemon evolution happening via slightly differing mechanics and on a faster scale than real-world evolution, due to the ability of pokemon biology to dynamically respond to its habitat, i'm stopping now.) the only one that i think is sincerely extinct is basculegion, given that white-striped basculin appear to have been hunted to extinction in modern times. but even that is like—white-striped could still just be much rarer, if the pokemon company decides to bring them back.

that was a lot idk why i rambled that much, anyway you get the picture. volo running into bloodmoon ursaluna and them just avoiding each others gaze and continuing on is v funny tho

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #anonymous #pla analysis

[1800duckhotline]

dont expect this to be a well-put together analysis/interpretation/etc because im extremely bad at putting my thoughts together but i HAVE to write this down before i completely forget.

sister amalie brainworms ahead. skip over if youre not a #pentimenthead (or dont idk up to you)

so while i dread talking to my parents abt religion theyre regrettably more knowledgeable about a lot of its aspects than i am (never did cathechism and never did communion as a child and idgaf about doing it now aged 23) but i asked them a bit about Why does sister amalie have Purple in her habit. Because purple is a color that REALLY stands out not only against her basic vestments which are white, but also because literally nobody except maybe priests during certain festivities/periods of the year for mass/ceremonies wears colors that vibrant as a like, religious uniform.

from basic history i'd gathered that purple is a regal color. this was completely unrelated from Why amalie has purple in her habit. (lol) But anyways from what i understood long story short is that purple in religion represents grief, penance and wait (for the coming of Christ iirc). This is like, the baseline for what purple represents in ALL usage of it in paraments.

We know Amalie is a mystic and an anchoress; specifically an ascetic who lives a mostly reclused lifestyle and has possibly been a regular nun before turning to this specific kind of lifestyle (which is surprisingly free of rules, anchorites aren't constricted by vows such as chastity for example, nor do they have obligations to the public or the church: their life is reserved exclusively to study and prayer) - I'm referring to times before she was at her old convent with Father thomas (according to the game, 10 years prior the story).

Mystics can either recount of their visions, reserve themselves to prayer or even become exorcists. We know pentiment isn't fully founded in like 200% realism but we know well Amalie is a mix of the first two; her 'visions' are even well explained by her probable chronic pains which, for the time, weren't treatable much if at all - pain that strong (arthritis and scoliosis are no joke) is assured to give you Visions and this is still very true to this day. It does seem however that she decides to give in to this pain, as part of her asceticism, as part of her prayer and devotion. More or less it is a deliberate choice, and being the times they were a lot of these folk had a belief that the pain was a trial given to them by God for them to endure so to speak. It wouldn't be silly to claim Amalie falls under this specific type of asceticism.

If you remember what I mentioned about purple representing penance, among other things, pentiment (ha) for one's sin and past faults, it correlates also perfectly with the concept of Contrition which is central to christianity in particular and later is more or less heavier or lighter depending on the different doctrine. Contrition is essentially 'to feel crushed by guilt for a previous sin committed'. Amalie's habit is more and more decorated by purple as years go by; I can't say if this is a deliberate choice on the devs' part, though I think it'd be cool if it was both a like, literal and 'symbolic' choice. Both because more purple in habit = more years spent in 'waiting', a milestone mark of sorts - and because more purple in habit = more years spent in guilt, consciously or not, for the part she played in the terrible murders that took place in tassing (Lorenz deserved it though, fuck that guy).

Idk it was puzzling me for a WHILE because purple is SUCH a strong color to use for a design. And this makes so so sooo much sense to me. If you're still reading this I'm sorry i'm so mentally unwell about this woman

also talking to a friend apparently it was part of the anchorite rule, specifically for anchoresses, to shave their hair or otherwise keep it short (according to an old english book which, well, y'know, doesn't probably apply to all places universally, but we can nitpick information for fun here). so basically sister Amalie should be shaven. she is to ME. she is BALD AND BEAUTIFUL

#rambles #idk how to fucking tag this... #well IF YOU DONT CARE ABT PENTIMENT FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS im a hashtag amalielover

[angevinyaoiz]

Love the designs in the new comic! How would Richard's later years look like in the AU?

I actually haven't thought about how the boys would look like or what their lives would be outside of my Humorously Recreating Historical events--especially since the timeline is very compressed so everyone is basically speedrunning 30-40 years of Events in like 1-2 teenage summers lol. I wrote a lot of thoughts below (also going into overthinking of How Burger King Universe even works), TLDR the binary is he'd either be a Dead Teen who rocked out a little too hard and made the wrong random person mad or he'll grow up and become a completely normal guy with no relation or connection at all to the historical Richard the lionheart aside from that tumultuous period, but to do so one has to exit the story I make in my head hahaah

Burger King Edgyverse : In this verse it would prob sort of be one of those really edgy teen narratives that follow the Richard timeline of he goes to the crusade concert, has massive interpersonal drama stemming from the 10000 personal and familial issues that escalates and catastrophizes all the relationships, goes home, tries to fix things, continues to have massive drama, maybe comes close to fixing it but then ends up dying really randomly out of some weird karma situation IDK maybe it's like the legend where some kid who he forgot about HATES him and then idk hit him with their car or smth on Châlus street while he's busy beefing. And then everyone is finally like damn.....he was a hot mess but he did some cool stuff so now we are all going to watch his videos and think Abt his life from another angle recontextualized and we now think he was cool now (PR internet movement gets built up. ). idk I'm a bitch who loves weirdly anticlimactic tragedy so that's one universe.

Kind of is my processing and sticking to the main points of the historical Richard life which always struck me as very Dramatic and almost cyclical, which Is very fun for me. Idk there is something very "cursed" about all the family members and their ends and relationships so following up with that (in a more modern sensibility way) is fun to me.

ALTERNATIVELY:

I also thought about...what if characters in the Bk universe aren't cursed to that eternal return...idk. I had a funny thought earlier like that Geoffrey in BK universe doesn't die, he just becomes self-aware of and chooses to exit bc he's tired of the bullshit hahaa (tv equivalent of actor having to leave the show). In my mind, for the Narrative, some people do have to die, namely in my mind Junior does die in BK universe and shifts the mood from haha sillie goofy conflict to more strained and bitter. After all it IS an AU. Maybe BK Richard can leave being "Richard" timeline behind and be just a guy in an unrelated story who grows up past the predetermined historical event timeline parallels and can be a normal person with average life sort of thing. But that's beyond my scope since I'm mostly interested and focused on reinterpreting specific dynamics in that timeline, and deviating too much is when characters feel less AU and more distant and become different People to me (which would be the point...the historical figure must die for a person to live? Idk.

I know this feels like a weird distinction to make, and prob plenty of ppl probably see my delusions and think it's ALREADY so deviant but its more internal like in my mind I like having specific connections to historical stuff even if it's a weird tangled thread heheh. In general though, all is in good fun.....it's late so I may write later so apologies if this makes no sense at all but thanks for reading this far if u got it hahaah

#Long post #Under readmore #Burger king AU

[thewickerking]

i feel like oversharing rn. there is a very solid chance i have did (i place it at 50/50) but its incredibly complicated because i genuinely have a very overactive imagination and my knowledge of did came from kin communties when i was like 11-13 and although ive done independent research, i cant trust my view on my brain like. at all it feels like bc i imitated disorders i looked up when i was 11 so i feel like im repeating that but i genuinely cant tell what is a natural feeling and whats something i do artificially because i do both constantly. and even outside of that there are soo many factors. my father having did. my memory gap from before the age of 11 where i remember like. 4 things. the period of time i was sure i had it and communicated with my "alters" (if they were real, idk) regularly and my ex asked to talk to them so often they stopped talking to me and i havent been able to communicate since. if they were real. my false memories. i actually have several of these some are just specific and strange and some are like. very bad LMAO not elaborating on that but i have normal memories (ballet class is a big reoccurring one) of things that have literally never happened to me and people in my life i trust have confirmed this. like my lack of memory before 11 and my false memories really do line up on my potentially not being the original host which has interesting connotations regarding like. gender and dysphoria but i dont knoooooow. on the flip side, my mom has genuinely lied about things when ive asked and has said to my face she'll deny that she's ever done certain things. on top of listening to my therapy sessions and reading my texts, making me incredibly paranoid and unable to trust my memory which i know has been false before. so like. nature vs nuture yk? are my huge memory problems connected to an actual disorder separate from my diagnoses (i do have memory problems from ptsd and depression but almost no memories before 11 doesnt make a lot of sense with my trauma and the way my depression works) or is it just i had some memory problems but bc of being literally gaslighted n shit they got worse and ballooned into my problems now??? who knows??? the problem with this is that no one can look inside my brain for me and its something u cant diagnose from just looking/talking with me and i cant figure it out for myself so basically

also like. theres even more stuff that makes this complicated and i was talking to someone abt it and like. when i 100% believed i had did i believed i had an alter who was very much a caretaker and like. i started adapting her traits when she stopped talking to me which fucks me up bc i literally did a full 180 on my behavior towards my brother and changed in other ways which like. happens obviously people change but the timing. well. who even knows

#the question is rhetorical btw i dont expect anyone to have any answers im just feeling very. idk. thinking my thoughts rn #sorry about oversharing on the internet. my mom took me out of therapy for having adhd and that made the adhd worse actually! #no id #AAUGH im feeling all sorts of ways tonight. im thinking abt this instead of graduating LMAOOO #.ares #vent

[bongkillua]

im SUPER late to the ask game however. 5 & 9 for all of them

anon you are never too late i love talking abt these guys and these r rly good questions

5. How did you figure out your oc’s identity?

TUCKER - Tucker's has definitely ebbed and flowed with my own identity! He initially had a very different backstory that was explicitly about him being a stealth and closeted gay trans man. the way i played him made it so that it didnt really work for him to be trans but i hate playing cis characters so there was some weird magic and memory shit involved to make it work. but it just didnt make sense with the reworked story. took it as an opportunity to make him more openly trans but he was still an exclusive gay man for a while. and well then xander came around and i realized i was bisexual so now tucker is unlabeled because i just know hes going to keep changing with me. but like i truly dont think his character can wholly by separated from Gay Trans Man because so much of his personality and identity was built around that in the beginning.

XANDER - i made xander for the sole purpose of having fun with him. like seriously i made him for a school assignment because i didnt have a "cunty, whorish enough" character for the assignment and then she just stuck around so like... her identity has always just been "whatever is fun!" in the beginning he was like explicitly transmasc but i was playing around with using she/her pronouns for myself again so i gave them to xander to see if it would help me gain more confidence and it did! as i fleshed her out more tho her backstory started to rly revolve around changing identity and like specifically masculinity vs. femininity and how she performs both, and wuth that came the idea of transitioning back and forth over periods of time. because of THAT i wanted her to be really into drag because thats what drag is all about... and because shes rly into drag i wanted to explore her relationship to the transFEMININE experience because drag really cant be separated from that. so ive rly focused on embodying binary identities as performance for her gender. and because she sleeps around a lot ive just made her super fluid in terms of sexuality. shes not picky!

JORDAN - jordan was a he/they from the jump but i struggled a lot with their design and development for like YEARS but once i finally started fleshing them out i was immediately like "nah this guy prefers they/them and tacks he on for normies" and it genuinely helped me solidify his perception of not only their own identity but also life in general? theyre very "go with the flow because theyre extremely confident in themself and dont care how others perceive them". and then bisexual just seemed Right. idk. he sorta embodies "cool bisexual kid in high school that helps u realize ur also queer" and i just kinda went with the stereotype lol. also he seems like a Megan Fox Enjoyer.

KONAMI - i designed konami at a time where i was rly interested in the intersection of neurodivergence and queerness so his identity was def informed by that! along with queerness in childhood as a theme. ive always associated aesthetics like his with the rise in usage of neopronouns (in a good way!) so it just made sense to have them use it/its. if i wasnt a coward id throw some more fun pronouns on there but konami is also just a little guy so i honestly default to he/him a lot in the same way that you'd refer to like. a dog. and once again bisexual just made sense. i established pretty early on that his parents were super accepting of him being trans (konami was a binary trans guy when he was alive!) so i feel like sexuality just wasnt a huge concern for him.

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THIS IS LITERALLY THE ENTIRE UNDERLYING PREMISE OF WOLFSBANE SO HERE WE GO LOL

TUCKER- ok so the more independent tucker became as a character the more i really leaned into how lycanthropy influences his identity and specifically his queerness. its always been a big part of his story but i rly got to Focus on it once he was mine and mine alone. so in wolfsbane lycanthropy is like. almost directly a metaphor for neurodivergence and like. how do i say this. Being Weird And Feeling Wrong As A Child. which you could argue also makes it a metaphor for transness but like i feel like his lycanthropy makes him trans in other separate ways? like lycanthropy in wolfsbane canonically causes an increase in testosterone production so tucker naturally has facial hair and body hair and a rly deep voice and "male-aligned" body fat distribution. despite being afab. and thats like a big struggle in the story bc his father wants him to Hide that but tucker is very Confident in that, both because he wants to embrace being a werewolf but ALSO because it gives him gender euphoria. and it takes him a LONG time to figure out that those are simultaneously separate things ("im not trans i just look like this!" (you are. you are trans)) and also intrinsically tied (transness as a feeling of Other as opposed to a distinct Gender Identity). AUGH idk if that makes sense. sexuality works pretty similarly. tucker has to repress a lot of himself because his family is scared that his lycanthropy will make him unruly and uncontrollable, and that he will hurt WHOEVER he loves. and in trying to control him they want him to Assimilate (aka Be Heterosexual). so he faces a similar struggle where he spends a long time trying to figure out if hes queer because he Likes Men or if hes queer because he Likes People, BOTH of which have been withheld from him.

XANDER- xander is an energy vampire and relies a lot on the balance between Taking and Giving. this means that he has to hide his true identity and give people a false one in order to get what he needs from them. and when you are performing an identity day in and day out is it really a performance anymore? or is it such a performance that it cant possibly be who you are? so thats like the Central struggle that vampirism invokes onto his identity. sexuality works similarly (can you tell that i have a hard time distancing gender from sexuality?) where he spends so much time forging these fake bonds and hooking up with anyone who will give him the time of day that he really doesnt have the time, energy, or maturity to figure out who he's Truly attracted to. her constant need to perform makes it nearly impossible for her to feel authentic in any way.

JORDAN- im gonna start sounding like a broken record at this point but my understanding of transness and queerness is so far removed from the idea of gender itself that i have no choice but to talk about identity as a whole. SORRY. anyways jordan's identity is heavily influenced by his schizophrenia and his dad. and the way THAT influences him is that he wants to Minimize his body because they do not feel attached to their body at all. and Maximize his ability to Reflect his Father because those experiences were the most important to him. so like. really thinking about it now i feel like a big reason why they even identify as transmasc is a. They Need To Remove Any Unnecessary Part Of Their Body NOW And That Means The Tits Have Got to Go amd b. he can distance himself from who he was as a child and align himself with his FATHER who is like the most important and influential figure in his life. in terms of sexuality they're kind of similar to xander but like the reverse side of the coin? They are so authentically themself that its hard for them to find room in their life for another person. so like while jordan identifies as bisexual i often say they also align themself with aromanticism because romance is just very difficult for him to figure out. a lot of the times it boils down to utility over attraction. which works for some people! (tucker) and not for others (all of his ex's).

KONAMI- konami died and forgot what gender and sexuality were. i explain this more HERE but because of konami's history it doesnt have a reference point for what gender Is. so a lot of his identity boils down to concepts as opposed to things like masculinity and femininity. i really want to do more deep exploration into how tucker, xander, and jordan's queerness influences konami's own identity as well as his perception of gender and identity but i guess for a quick answer he latches onto Connecting Words before he latches onto Individual Labels. so things like "dad" and "aunt" make more sense to him than "man" and "woman" because they have a purpose and a role attached to them. but then again those roles have been defined by queer people who don't perfectly fit into the Status Quo of that role but enact/perform it in unique and nuanced ways. this is also why he more quickly latches onto "son" and "boy" (and specifically how boy fits into a Family structure) than any other gendered labels. again like ive stated before, bisexual came pretty easily because with a lack of gender awareness just came an understanding that gender wasn't a factor in regards to attraction. hence bisexual.

this is so long omfg but what it all boils down to is um. my relationship to queerness is founded on experience, intersectionality, and bodily autonomy, not gender as its own concept. so nonhuman identities (and sometimes just Different Human identities) are always going to influence identity and Be A Metaphor for HOW experience influences identity and vis versa.

#tucker #xander #jordan #konami #wolfsbane #i hope this makes sense christ almighty #category 6 million autism event #anoff #blurry answers #mine

[afrival]

Hetalia Characters and Their Music Tastes

I’ve been in the hetalia fandom for like a year now and I stg thinking abt what these bitches listen to NEVER gets old

no warnings

will feature mostly modern day music, like 1950s-2010s

I don’t know a lot of artists that don’t sing in English so there’s probably A LOT that I’m missing on here, not even including shit from like the 1800s

The Allies

Alfred:

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood, The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, Crazy In Love by Beyoncé

- Listens to basically everything, but particular fond of like 80s rock and early 2000s shit

- Likes country music bc ofc he does, a huge fan of Carrie Underwood, Sam Hunt, and The Band Perry

- Got his love of rock from England 💀 Especially during the like the 60s-80s when Queen, The Beatles, and Elton John really popular

- They really only bond over their love for this period of music lmao like they would absolutely go ape during karaoke

- He loves more mainstream artists like Beyoncé, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, all those iconic mfs

- Probably enjoys old wartime music just for nostalgias sake. Shit from the 40s and he listens to Civil War tunes (Union Dixie lmao)

- Definitely listens to musicals and forces Ivan to as well. His favorites are Hamilton, Hairspray, and Chess

- LOVES LOVES LOVES The Backstreet Bogs holy shit. This man had a whole phase where he dressed like they did. Don’t even dare play I Want It That Way because he WILL sing along

- Speaking of which he’s actually a really good singer, like he probably used to sing at clubs and shit back in the day

- It’s very specific but I imagine his voice to sound like Taron Egerton’s cover of “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John

Arthur:

Killer Queen by Queen, Set Fire to the Rain by Adele, Tiny Dancer by Elton John

- Old man who had a weird punk phase in the 90s. Definitely listens to The Beatles and Gorillaz

- Like I said, he and Alfred bond over Queen and Elton and Bon Jovi and FUCKING Michael Jackson

- Refuses to admit he really likes Elvis

- Oh boy. He had so much fun in like late 2000s and early 2010s— Panic at the Disco, MCR, Green Day, he absolutely got his ears pierced during this time

- Doesn’t listen to like current mainstream music that much he will sob to Adele and probably really likes the Cry Baby album by Melanie Martinez.

- Francis plays so much Lady Gaga in the car that at this point he really likes her music

- He likes Ed Sheeran I am so sorry </3 and he absolutely gets bullied for it

- He can sing too honestly? I know I just said he listens to Ed Sheeran but I honestly think he kinda sounds like him too just maybe a little deeper

- Listen to Galway Girl and you’ll get a basic idea of what I imagine he sounds like

Ivan:

Dance and Cry by Mother Mother, Baby One More Time by Britney Spears, смерти Больше нет by IC3PEAK

- THIS MANS MUSIC TASTE MAKES NO SENSE. It ranges from fucking Aerosmith to Ic3peak to Lady Gaga

- Literally has every Mother Mother album downloaded and probably on Vinyl bc he’s a fucking dweeb

- Also a huge musical stannie, loves Wicked and Hairspray

- He and Al will split the parts to sing along to in the car

- Alfred made him listen to Britney Spears ONCE in like the 90s and now he’s obsessed

- Speaking of the 90s he went absolutely fucking ape during this time. The USSR wasn’t very big on western music but when it fell there was a HUGE influx of it and suddenly like it was just his favorite thing ever

- Alfred also got him into Carrie Underwood, literally lost of his music taste comes from Alfred forcing him to listen to shit

- During the 70s/80s he got really into Fleetwood Mac and Aerosmith, maybe even a little bit of disco but not a lot

- Went to a club with Al a few times and he won’t ever forget dancing to Footloose by Kenny Loggins at like one in the morning and having the absolute time of his life, easily one of his favorite memories

- Like I get so soft thinking about him just letting loose and actually having fun, even though he was very stiff and shit during the 1900s

- He can’t sing LMAO but my friend and I said once that he could lowkey rap really well and now it’s all I think about

Francis:

From Eden by Hozier, La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf, Primadona by Marina

- If you look up the gay agenda his playlist would just show up

- I mean seriously he has it all: Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Lorde

- HOWEVER she does really enjoy softer sounding music. Edith Piaf, Louis Armstrong, and Vera Lynn are favorites of his

- Listens to the Les Mis soundtrack like once a month

- REALLY REALLY loves Hozier, like a whole lot. He’s probably one of his favorite artists along with Sufjan Stevens

- Even more of his homo playlist includes Marina, Madonna and Troye Sivan

- Bullies Arthur for liking Ed Sheeran but he also really likes Ed Sheeran, just refuses to admit it

- Stromae ofc 🙄🤚 can’t just not include like the most popular French musician or whatever

- He can also sing but he sounds kinda raspy, it’s nice tho

Yao:

- I don’t think he listens to music LMAO, if he does it’s probably instrumental

The Axis

Ludwig:

Elastic Heart by Sia, From Now On from The Greatest Showman, Natural by Imagine Dragons

- Also doesn’t really listen to music but my friend said that when he does it ranges from classical to heavy metal

- For some reason I think he really likes Sia, he seems like a Sia kind of guy

- Doesn’t listen to Hozier but really loves Take Me to Church

- Most of his music listening comes from giving Feli the aux in the car

- The whore listens to Imagine Dragons like he fucking loves them

- When The Greatest Showman came out he had the soundtrack on repeat for a solid month, From Now Onis one of his favorite songs ever

- Cannot sing Jesus Christ do not let him near a mic

Feliciano:

Thank u, next by Ariana Grande, Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder, Bella Ciao by Manu Pillas

- Pop music! So much pop!

- Loves Ariana Grande and Conan Gray

- Probably listens to A LOT of classical because of his time with Austria

- His music taste is kinda all over the fucking place and it’s mostly happy and peppy shit

- Weirdly tho he listens to GRLwood? Like it’ll just shhow up on shuffle and suddenly he’s an entire different person

- Will listen to absolutely everything just to find something that Ludwig likes, was so proud of himself when Ludwig really ended up loving The Greatest Showman

- Doesn’t sing but plays like 5 instruments. Violin and piano are his faves

Kiku:

It’s Been So Long by The Living Tombstone, Faded by Alan Walker, Ophelia by The Lumineers

- LISTEN. LISTEN. HE LOVES VIDEO GAME MUSIC AND FUCKING THE LIVING TOMBSTONE

- The fnaf songs are his guilty fucking pleasures, he fucking loves them

- Loves loves loves the Undertake Soundtrack

- Listens to a lot of anime openings 💀 Me too tbh they’re so good at for what

- Big fan of TheFatRat

- In general he enjoys techno shit? Idk what the word is but it’s a lot of instrumental

- Listens to regular music as well (The Lumineers especially)

- Likes listening to Elvis because it makes him happy to see Alfred having fun

- Feli also introduces him to a lot of music but he can never fucking remember the names of the songs or artists

- He hums a lot rather than sings, and it’s really soft and gentle

If anybody wants any more characters lmk bc I love coming up with these, also I do have playlists for these bitches 😎✌️ Spotify is in my linktree (bio)

#hetalia #aph russia #aph america #aph england #aph france #aph japan #aph italy #aph germany #hetalia headcanons #alfred f jones #arthur kirkland #francis bonnefoy #ivan braginsky #feliciano vargas #ludwig beilschmidt #kiku honda #rusame #hetalia world stars #itapan #gerita #fruk #kenshcs

[normal-thoughts-official]

you talk a lot about magnus and camille dynamic and how they started and all that great meta content that you know i love but here's a question that idk if you ever got: how long do you think they were together? bc i can't think of a specific timeline and personally i love the one you talked abt at some point how she was pretty much right after asmododo or something like that, so he went from one type of abuse into another... but how long was he there? was camille with him for 20 years? 80? 130? any theories?

ugh that's a complicated one because i don't really have an answer for that and i think about it often as well

altho i think you got confused about her being right after asmodeus, i definitely don't think she was. i mentioned it my post about the timeline to say that magnus COULDN'T have been born close to the 1800s because that would make it asmodeus and camille way too close and that can't be the case because it would imply camille is basically the only person he dated before alec doajsdoaj and we know that's not true cuz there's also other ppl like george and etc. it was more a point in favor of "early to mid 1600s" for his birth date

anyway! let's go through this. i mentioned in another post that i think he got together with camille right after george, and that i think george died around the middle of the US civil war, which lasted from 1861 to 1865. so let's say they got together around 1863. now, we have a few pieces of information:

magnus mentioned that he hadn't been with anyone for "almost a century" when talking to alec. i know i think magnus is time blind but he can't be TOO off here. that was in 2016 so that would make their breakup date be a little after 1916 if magnus remembers correctly

literally the only thing about the timeline in that time period that i can remember is that one picture there was in his file of magnus surrounded by girls at a party, which looked to be in the 20s to me. since camille was an abusive asshole probably sabotaging his every chance to meet people, that couldn't have been when they were together. so i'd say 1920 is like, the limit for when they could have broken up. it's up to you whether or not you think magnus would be jumping into his party animal role immediately after the breakup or if it would take some time for him to heal; personally i think both make sense (i think she made a huge number on him so it would make sense for him to take a while to get back to that kind of thing; on the other hand, a lot of people turn straight to being party animals after breaking up abusive relationships, especially because for so long abusers have kept them from doing anything fun. so both work imo) so it's up to you

conclusion: they broke up in 1920 at the latest, so the max you could go for is 80 years, if you go with a timeline where camille was right after george (george can't be after camille because magnus has had no relationships after camille, but there could have been a bigger gap between george and camille than i personally hc). it could still be less tho, because we literally have NO information whatsoever on what happened between 1861 and 1920. even if you go with "they broke up and magnus immediately went full party animal" (which is perfectly valid), it's also entirely possible that this happened in say, 1901 and that pic just happened to be from the 20s, years later. but i also don't think it could have been a lot earlier than 1901 because magnus said almost a century, implying less than a century between the year they broke up and 2016. and while i do think that any immortal would lose track of time after a while and mingle years and decades together, nevermind adhd time blind icon magnus bane, if they had broken up in, say, 1880, magnus would remember that over a century has passed, if anything because so much has changed since then. so i think for him to say that the breakup should have happened in the 20th century at least

so that's the analysis from what we've seen in the show. personal opinion! i think 80 years makes sense, but is a bit much. it makes sense because there does seem to be a pretty obvious gap in magnus' file from the 1860s to the 1920s and then it goes back to having many pictures of him, and that "disappearance" makes sense in the context of him being in an abusive relationship (which limits your interactions and going outs by a lot). it does seem to be a bit much because magnus is at max 400, so, if they had been together 80 years, that would have been 20% of magnus' life spent with camille. or 1/5. added with all the time with asmodeus, it seems to be... a bit much dioadsoaijd and like look i'm not judging, i know abusive relationships can last many years and decades even for mortals, nevermind immortals, but i just don't like the idea of it lasting this long personally, especially because i think it makes him getting with alec seem actually a bit soon considering how long the abusive relationship lasted, and that's ignoring asmodeus' abuse on top of it

so personally, i like it morenif its around 40-50 years. i think it makes sense. it would mean the breakup was sometime around the 1910s, and while, okay, there is a gap in his file that seems to only end in the 20s, we must not forget an important fact: shadowhunters are stupid. so i actually think it makes sense that like, magnus emerges from his abusive relationship and is still getting back on his feet, and shadowhunters just don't care. like who is that guy? oh some warlock, no one's heard of him since like the 1860s lol. whatever happened to him? who cares. anyway, we love racism

and then around a decade later it turns out that magnus is healing enough to be a pain in their ass; say, that is when he becomes HWoB, or simply that they are reminded of how powerful magnus actually is once he is back in activity, and so they go back to like, investigating him and updating his file. so the file gap could be explained in that case. it also actually makes more sense that it would take shadowhunters a while to pay attention to him again, and since magnus was healing from an abusive relationship, the time it would take for him to draw their attention might well be around a decade

and with 40-50 years of an abusive relationship that would mean magnus has spent 10-12% of his life with camille; which is a LOT of time (for comparison: my first abusive relationship lasted a little over a year and i was 16 at the time; that makes it have lasted around 6% of my life at the time, and it did a HUGE number on me, taking me almost 3 years to have a relationship again), but not quite as much as a full 20%. not just that, but him taking "almost a century" (it would actually make it be a little over a century in this timeline, but again, magnus is immortal and time blind, so give him a break) to get with anyone again makes sense. that would be around double the time he's spent with her before he heals enough to be with someone else. that tracks, because abuse fucks you up fast and unfuckening yourself up takes longer. magnus isn't even fully unfucked up (which is okay, he doesn't have to be), but for him to be ready to take such huge steps as he is taking with alec, i think around double the time he's spent with her spent on healing makes sense

(again, i'm mostly going off my own experiences here; my abusive relationship lasted almost a year and a half, my next relationship was almost three years after the breakup. so almost perfectly double the time before i was ready to have another relationship. and again, i know recovery isn't the same for everyone and a lot of factors go into this, but i just think a timeline where he's been with her for 80 years and then gets with alec less than 100 afterwards is a bit too fast)

i still think 40 years is kind of a very long time to be in an abusive relationship and like holy shit i cant even imagine, but also i mean, mortals have abusive relationships that last that long and to an immortal itd feel like less time, and it does seem to be what best fits the timeline, so

and yeah i think those are my thoughts dadsajdsa

LAST MINUTE EDIT BEFORE THIS IS PUBLISHED CUZ IM NOT REDOING THE WHOLE THING: i got an anon today saying that magnus said something about not having seen camille in 130 years (link) which i didnt/dont really remember but i trust that theyre right and im wrong because i dont remember a lot of shit from this show. 130 years before 2016 would be 1886, meaning that if they broke up at that time and got together right after george's death as i personally hc, that's a 20-year relationship. that sounds like it fits the timeline as much as any other to me, and like i said in that ask, i think it makes sense that magnus would play it down to alec by saying "almost a century" instead of how long it's really been cuz it's a bit too vulnerable, and plus, we know one of the ways he protects himself is by not letting people pinpoint exactly some important dates from his past, particularly his birthday and etc

and okay i know that 20 years together, then 130 years recovering is a huge difference, but also i think with twenty years together as opposed to my comparatively short abusive relationship the scars of abuse would deepen a lot and quicker, so maybe it makes sense that it would take a longer time to feel confident enough to get to dating again. plus, like i said, there's no real math to be had in that process, everyone is different, has their own history and recovery process and etc so it's not like there is a deadline. so actually scratch everything i said above im going with this timeline. the one thing that doesn't track with that is the gap in his file but also like i said shadowhunters are stupid, so. yeah 20 years together is probably closer to it

in the end its kind of a relief cuz i was like "holy shit 40 years is so LONG" so... yeah udndidn

#me: i don't really now. also me: gigantic essay with lots of numbers and a relatively narrow time gap as a result #sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #camille belcourt is an abuser #camille's trash party #magnus bane meta #anti shadowhunters #abuse tw #death tw #mentions of war #meta #ask #some-thrilling-heroics #there is too much math in this post tbh #q #adhd magnus bane #time blind magnus

[hollowisthyname]

🖊 Rhys!

Rhys!! Rhys my beloved!!!!! definitely one of my favorites (yes I will say this abt all of them, yes it is always true), I have the clearest like.... picture of them in my mind I guess? though I'm thinking of making all of them look less human and that'd def change their design some so. ANYWAY LET'S GO

[infodump under the cut]

so! Rhys Myers, some sort of water spirit and best friend/protector of Cory!! it's kinda hard to know where to start with them.... I have so much and yet so little. but when all else fails, physical descriptions are a good starting point :D

Rhys is fairly tall (currently I have them at 5'8 but I think they're gonna end up taller), and very, very, blue. bc water spirit. basically; their skin is light blue, their eyes are dark/navy blue, and their hair is like medium blue? but it's shimmery and has a lot of different shades of blue in it (I'll find the actual colors for all of these later, idk how to do it on a phone). their hair is basically a waterfall. it's long, nearly down to their feet,and while I haven't yet decided whether it's a real (magical) waterfall or an illusion of one, that's certainly what it looks like. they wear light-colored ripped jeans and a black shirt that's kinda like a tank top but no sleeves and made out of a cooler material? not sure what it's called. they don't wear shoes, and don't particularly like clothes in general.

Rhys themself is.... an interesting character, I think. they're very sarcastic and witty, and they get defensive p easily, but they also make a point not to show any real emotion to people they don't know well. the way they act isn't reserved exactly, but they're closed off. in general they're very playful, and while some of their pranks can be kind of mean they don't hurt people who they don't think deserve it. but they have a very strong sense of right and wrong which can lead them to do some bad things to people they're angry at. (it's kinda hard for me to describe their personality, I have a very vivid picture in my mind but I can never find the words :( hopefully this made sense!!)

their backstory- which still isn't fully worked out yet btw, some of it doesn't make total sense so I'm probably going to change a lot of it later- is basically that their parents were..... neglectful? and they were given a lot more responsibility than they could really handle since they were little. namely, being the primary caretaker of six or so little siblings for most of their life (not all six since the whole time, they were born a year or two ahead of some and then they also have half-siblings they take care of that came along later) they met Cory when they were eight and he was six when his parents hired them as his babysitter (their parents made them apply for the position for the money, they're tall and they lied about their age plus they acted v mature for their age so it was convincing. also Cory's parents didn't really care) the two of them didn't really get along at first. Cory was wary of anyone who his parents had chosen to take care of him so while he was sweet as usual he was also pretty distant and didn't trust Rhys much. Rhys was just pissed to have to take care of another child, and maybe a little bit jealous of Cory (bc the way his family was they were like the "perfect family" on the outside but when you look into it more it falls apart y'know). but they got to like each other from like interacting a bunch and realizing they're not bad people and also probably some more specific stuff I have to come up with. the two of them run away together after a few years (why are all my characters exiles/runaways. why is this a thing I do) and meet up with everyone else over a period of a couple years maybe? I really don't know how that's gonna happen but I'm trying not to rush it asdfgfds

various other facts about Rhys: they're nonverbal (and also deaf maybe haven't decided), and talk w sign language they're aro/ace!! I associate the song Can't Sleep Love with them a lot as like their thought process before they knew abt queer stuff and were confused as to why they weren't attracted to anyone. I have like a whole animatic planned out in my head but I'll prolly never make it bc I can't animate :( they'd admit this over their dead body but they cry a lot at movies and shows and stuff. if someone finds out they claim it's bc water and stuff but really they just have a lot of emotions (/lh, I am exactly the same way) strong sense of right and wrong =/= refusal to do like. illegal shit. they have and will break many laws and hurt people who r assholes to them or their friends. their moral compass is not at all in line with the law and I love that about them

I'm sure I have more stuff abt them somewhere but I can't think of it off the top of my head and also this is really long now so I'm gonna stop here!! sry this took so long I've been working on it for nearly a week and I just did like 90% of it within the last few hours?? I do not know how to write things hope you like this and it makes sense and stuff!!!! I love this character sm ashgfd

#ranger rambles #icarus infodumps #oc infodumps #i *will* have a personal tag for every one of my names #/hj #ranger is stolen directly from yttd 😌 #also im gonna keep answering ur asks i promise!! #just takes me a while #bc my motivation is shit #but i love talking abt them :D

[that-thing-that-feeling]

Ok so I finally got a chance to watch Sp2 and I don’t know what I was expecting (from Charlie, but this was def not it 😂 Thought he was great as always, but yeah v small role and I guess I walked away with a diff interpretation than what most ppl had, altho I guess that could be bc I was specifically paying close attention to him. Sorry in advance, this is gonna be a long one lol

First off, he was great, and I think he did a admirable job with the improv. I mean his character is the strong and silent type, so it’s not like he had a ton of lines, but the ones he didn’t feel stilted or anything. And he looked great, I think that’s prob one of my fav haircuts on him, esp in the last scene. And that snakeskin jacket is just ridiculous, altho tbh I didn’t see what was funny abt the peep hole scene.

Def agree Jim does have an intense quality to him, but he has a sweet quality as well imo. I guess I was expecting for him to be some kind of arrogant fuckboi from what other ppl have said, but honestly I didn’t rlly get much of that from his performance. I mean yes he showed up to Julie’s apt in the middle of the night, uninvited, expecting sex (what I wanna know is how he got her address? #stalkmuch?😂) and appeared to leave without saying goodbye, but he seemed v gentle abt it, at first anyway. I guess I was expecting him to be like, “I came over to have sex with you so we’re gonna have sex now.” and more like “I came over to have sex with you, is that all right? Cool, let’s do it.” Idk if that makes sense, hopefully it will if you’ve seen it. And the sex itself was interesting. It was a shorter scene than I thought, and I didn’t know there was more than just the period oral to it. I was also v stunned to see that he was partially nude in that scene. I mean it was blink and you’ll miss it, but you can def see a little of his butt. Idk why but I thought it was rlly interesting bc usually when there’s nudity in a movie it’s very focused on, but it wasn’t here, and I think it subtly added authenticity to the scene.

And I rlly loved how Julie’s blood tied into the story thematically with color. There’s a lot of white and pastel colors in this movie, and then this scene kinda introduces the color red, and then other bold colors start to show up later. It seemed like they added red to symbolize Julie “coming back to life” after dealing with Anthony’s death.

I was also v surprised that Jim was at Julie’s bday party, esp since it was a p small gathering and I don’t think Richard was even there. Would love to know how they became close enough for her to invite him and his gf to her party. Also Jim has a few lines in that scene but I couldn’t rlly understand what he was saying, so if anyone remembers, I’m v curious. And that closing shot was just gorgeous. Sorry this is so scrambled and rambly, but basically I thought he was great and I hope he gets to play more diff types of characters in the future.

TSP2 Spoilers above and below

Hey anon yay that you got to see it! No I p much agree with all of this which is why I was surprised Honor called Jim a monster—imo he he has bravado or smth & is v into his own self image, but is also concerned abt her and when he comes over (right where did he get her address lol) it’s def the way you describe it and I thought that part was v well improvised. I disagree on the peephole—the way Jim was like preening with that snakeskin jacket for his booty call was p funny and Charlie had good timing with it—you got a lot abt Jim from so little!

Re: the partial nudity, that’s def there for Charlie; I should have mentioned lol. It’s v quick and yeah prob is just used to add to authenticity. Joanna also was prob focusing on Julie and seemed v interested in the mirror shots (there’s a quote of hers I should post that feels relevant), plus obviously a lot of attn went to that one cut. And that’s a rlly int point about the colors! And yeah I also totally didn’t hear what Jim said to the dude at the bday party, but thought it was int he was invited.

Agreed Charlie and his hair def look great in this lol; ST would never. But wish it was a bigger part and would love to see him in a role with this kind of energy or just all kinds of diff things.

#charlie heaton #as people see them #lmk your TSP2 and NF reax #they’re int to hear #also totally forgetting if he left without saying goodbye #need to rewatch #the souvenir part ii

[pulledpurplecurtains]

all the odd ones for the fic questions pls and thank you pepster

all the odd ones, meaning 1, 3 etc right? oh BOY are we gonna be here for a while (and i love it 🥰)

it’s morning right now so let’s see how long throughout the day this is gonna take me sdfghjk let’s do it!!

1) what was the first fandom you got involved in?

hmmmm. i wanna say harry potter, more than a decade ago? specifically dramione and scorose

3) what is the best fandom you’ve been involved in?

for all that it has given me i have to say bechloe

5) which fandoms have you written fanfiction for?

so far just for bechloe

7) list your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in

i’m only gonna list pairs i have strong feelings against and from only the fandoms i’ve been most involved in

harry potter: snape and hermione

frozen: elsa and hans (no but for real. why)

pitch perfect: beca and jessie, chloe and chicago

marvel: hm hm surprisingly nothing comes to mind

the haunting of bly manor: same as for marvel

9) what are the best things about your current fandom?

having a space where i can fully be myself, expressing myself freely through my writing, meeting so many wonderful people, having a previously unexplored side of myself revealed to me, finding and delving into characters that make me feel less alone, and so much more. it’s been a real blessing, having this fandom in my life

11) who is your current OTP?

bechloe

(this was the point where tumblr lost me ALL MY ANSWERS FROM QUESTIONS 13 TO 33 so let’s do this again SHALL WE??? i’ll be saving each answer as we go dear god)

13) any NoTPs?

already answered!

15) is there an obscure ship which you love?

hmm i don’t think so? none that comes to mind at least

17) who was your first OTP and are they still your favorite?

my first OTP, before i even knew what an OTP was, was scorpius and rose from harry potter. it’s not still on top of my OTP list, but always has a special place in my heart

19) is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

not really? i mean, there are popular ships that i don’t support, like hermione with bellatrix or natasha with wanda for example. i can see their appeal and i get why people like them. they’re just not for me and i’m okay with that

21) what was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

ah my accidental multi chap baby sdfghjkdfg

All is Fair in Love and War was posted as an one shot, and that was all it was supposed to be. it was my first finished written piece. and then a couple of people in the comments were really nice abt sharing thoughts of where the story could go next and what they’d like to see happen, and they were very enthusiastic abt wanting to see more of that story. so the second chapter was born

sooo one thing led to the other and before i knew it that fic had become an 8 chapter, over 60k words story sdfghjkdf i’m amused and grateful to this day

23) name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of and explain why you like it

how can you ask a mother to pick her favorite of her kids HUH

no but for real, i love all of my stories equally. i’m a perfectionist, so nothing gets posted before it’s perfect in my eyes. plus, all my stories are my babies. each has its flaws and imperfections, each in their own ways. but they’re all beautiful and meaningful to me

what i will say is, i have a particular soft spot for (wondering if you knew) i was enchanted to meet you. i truly think my writing peaked in that story, in all the parallels and tiny but very important things that are in there

25) what’s your most popular fanfic?

based on views and kudos, it’s All is fair in Love and War

ofc that’s a multi chap, so maybe the numbers aren’t exactly equivalent to popularity

my most popular one shot, by a very large margin at that, is (i’ll let you in) and baby, that’s when

27) what do you hate more: coming up with titles or writing summaries?

i honestly love coming up with titles

writing summaries, on the other hand, is the bane of my existence

29) do you have a beta reader? why/why not?

i don’t, and it’s bc i’m literally incapable of taking any kind of critique over anything unfinished. once it’s posted and out in the world it’s fair game; but until then? that’s a big no for me

31) what’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about your writing?

i honestly can’t answer this question bc every comment is so so special and important to me. i often go back and read them all. even right now while writing this there are so many different comments swirling around in my head. i appreciate and am grateful for all the kind words always 💜

33) do you write one shots, multi chapters, or huge epics?

sdfghjkk definitely not huge epics

i’ve written both of the other two. in the beginning i preferred and wanted to write multi chapters. however nowadays and for the past year or so, i lean more heavily towards one shots

35) do you write drabbles? if so, what do you normally write them about?

i am physically and mentally incapable of writing short things sdfghjkd so no, i don’t write drabbles

37) first person or third person? what do you write in and why?

always third person. idk the idea of first person narration always seemed weird to me. plus, i see my stories as me retelling the events the characters have confided in me. so third person makes sense and it’s also why i use past tense in my stories

39) what is your greatest strength as a writer?

describing and narrating emotions and using metaphors

41) list and link to five fanfics you’re currently reading

my reader’s block has been going strong, so i’m not reading anything currently unfortunately

43) is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

my squirrels 💜

45) what is your all time favorite fanfic?

i have to say Experimentation i just have to

i also love Perdition, what an incredible piece of writing

47) ao3, ff.net or tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

definitely ao3, i just love its interface i guess?

49) do you care if people comment on/ reblog your writing? why/why not?

okay so here’s the deal. ofc i care. every artist who shares their work, every creator, cares; at least to a degree. it’s why we share. we want people to see and love and appreciate our work, we want it recognised and celebrated even. we want people to engage with it, show it to their friends, talk abt it, have thoughts abt it. it’s only natural and ofc i’m absolutely no exception

with that said. i’ve always tried to remind myself that kudos/likes are also engagement. that even just reading is engagement. that everyone’s limit or ability for engagement isn’t the same, and that ultimately it’s their choice how or if they’ll engage with my writing. i try to, and i do, value everyone who even just reads my stories. i share something with the world for free and it’s my choice to do and continue to do so. what happens after that isn’t up to me

so yes i do care a lot abt reblogs and comments. they make me very happy, they validate and encourage me. but people have no obligation, in my eyes at least, to engage with my works a specific way. just like i have no specific obligation to provide a certain type of content on set periods of time or with a set limit of words or to continue to provide stories; or literally any other obligation. no one can police my actions and choices up until i’ve posted a story and i can’t police anyone’s actions or choices after i’ve posted it. and that’s the beauty of fandom for me - we’re all here bc we want to and bc it makes us happy, with no expectations or obligations

ending this with an essay seems only suitable sdfghjkd thank you my egg for giving me the opportunity to talk abt myself in such length 😌💜

#ask #snowonebutyou #ask game #i don’t even know if i did this right sdfghj #but i loved it #btw it’s 6:30pm right now lmao

[lonely-dog-song]

I want to talk about random DR thoughts that get pretty to really spoilery so I'll put them under a cut!

I typed this paragraph last but it is maybe the least spoilery so it goes up top. The lightly glitching environment made me think of space funeral so much, & I thought the glitches would become plot relevant but I'm almost glad it wasn't?? maybe because fighting glitches in a digital world has been done before lol

This is regarding Spamton but like. after meeting him at his shop me n Fortis were like oh haha he is so much like Jevil..... weird little guy who wants you to use a Key in the Basement of a Castle...! and is somewhat related to a shopkeeper! What are the odds. & THEN IT TURNS OUT HE'S A SECRET BOSS, HELLO??? the formula...... also saw someone point out spamton has similarities to mettaton, plus they both have -ton names. Idk what this means & i haven't devoted dmuch time to thinking abt it but it is interesting

also regarding the very end of the game ❗❗ my thought was that kris is the one taking the soul out to do things that the player may otherwise disagree with..? (Idk why Kris specifically takes the soul out, i dont even know if it's theirs.) but I saw someone else comment on it that it could be the knight possessing them to take the soul out & open the fountain. :·( WHICH IS SAD.. There is so much question about how much control Kris has over their life & actions...!!! It makes me sad. Kris's knife episode

on le topic of ralsei & the Knight: RALSEI *grabs him by the shoulders* your lore is so confusing why are you not giving everyone vital information!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I am in the ralsei hater club. I DONT HATE HIM, but to be honest he makes me uneasy. I cant tell if I should trust him or not. Maybe if I revisited the lore from the first game & the second one it would make a bit more sense..? Also I cannot tell his relation to asriel at all,I am so confused; I dont think he's literally asriel, BUT they're so similar c'mon. I want to know more about them so so so bad though

the topic of Tomorrows. I WANTED TO SEE SANS'S BROTHER SO BAD *kicking and crying* BUT we did get to visit onion :·) who is apparently named Beautiful. I did think it was a bit funny characters pointing out the time period between games. Susie saying "it felt like years waiting for today!!" & sans saying something about actually meeting his brother for real "it could be tomorrow, it could be two years, who knows." Lol *but actually stares at the camera very solemnly*

Ok well I didnt think there would be multiple endings, but I have heard tell (read it in a YouTube video title & a meme) that there is a very sad (?) ending if u fight (kill?) everything(?). Um wow. I wanna learn more about that but later

#lonely dog speaks #deltarune spoilers #hopefully this readmore works. or u can scroll really fast #DR chapta 2 & tcom living side by side in my head for now #not spoilers but it was very funny to be like LOOK *points at something in the game* that's just like in the cry of m #dr lb

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

#lovely anon #<3 #ALSO I LOVE YOUR TAGS SM DKDJDKDL #i definitely (accidentally) didn‘t say something about every single thing you said #but this is so long already and i don‘t want to force you to read even more of my shite dldkdjsj #(i dont day shite i say shit but sometimes shite sound funnier) #*say #omg its too mate to speak english what i meant was i‘m sire i forgot to adress some of the things you said but i tried my best iwjwskb #omg adress (address? lmao) sounds so negative i mean i‘m sure i forgot to reply to some things- also *late not mate loool #omg ignore my whole german lesson i cant believe i actually wrote all of that wtf #but it took me like 20 minutes so i don‘t want to delete it 😭 #and omg i hope you got to re do everything that your sims game didnt save and that it all worked out the same #😭 #I NEARLY DELETED THIS ASK WITJ MY ANSWER OH MYFUCKING GOD MY FUCKING HEART #also i realised i didnt say anything at all about uni but i dont have any news like that Einführungsveranstaltung (😭) I went to was literall #just about schedules and credits and boring stuff mostly lmao #oh and tattoos!!!! it sucks that you might not be able to get the ones that you want/get any :((((( but hopefully you can at least get some #that arent in colour? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 #so my parents aren‘t that supportive either like they most definitely wouldnt pay for it (even though they pay for a lot of my stuff lmao) #but i think in the end they know that i‘m old enough and they can‘t stop me and they‘d accept it one day so they‘re definitely not THAT bad #maybe your parents will change their mind over time? :( #or maybe youll just get one one day and ig theyll have to get used to it lol #so i want a butterfly (thats the only thing that i‘m sure about) and there are a lot of butterfly tattoos that look really tacky #but speaking of her i actually really like ariana‘s butterfly! but idk if i want that much shading- i have a whole album with like 35 photos #of just butterfly tattoos lol- i‘ll stop here tho. ldkdkd #omg im rereading this all and it‘s so messy good luck dkdkkddl #my tags got messed up and idk how to fix it #wait did i reach the tag limit and you cant even see half of these? 😭😭😭 #i‘m so confused about these tags why are they not in the correct order? 😭😭😭 ily snd i‘m so sorry for dropping this post on you none of it #none of it makes sense.