#this is about me arguing on instagram posts about the sex industry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transgenderteensurvivalguide · 3 years

Link

“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”

#suicide m #transphobia m #Elliot Page #transgender #representation #celebrities #actors #tv #movies #rep #trans #transmasculine #nonbinary #queer #long post

2K notes · View notes

eloisevisualculture · 3 years

Text

the hypersexualisation of young girls in the media

The abuse and use of children for an adult’s personal gain is an issue that has always existed, regardless of the existence of the internet and the media. But the propagation of this platform (social media, entertainment or fashion magazines) has lead to a whole new sets of problems like the hyper-sexualisation of children, particularly young girls. The dictionary Larousse defines “hyper-sexualisation as “in society, the fact of giving an increasingly important place to sexuality, by multiplying references to it in the public space (media, advertising)”. In some cases this has been so normalised that criticism of these portrayals can be described as purist and excessive. What is the consequence of hyper-sexualisation of children in social media? The purpose of this essay will be to discuss the way the different ways children are sexualised in media and advertising and the effects it can have on their lives. It is not uncommon to hear the phrase “they grow up to fast nowadays” when referring to the youngest generations, as a result of their exposure to the media. Of course if the only thing young girls had to fear from acting like ‘grownups” was wearing makeup earlier in life, then there would be less cause for concern. Unfortunately, the dangers always revolves back to struggle of the ill- intentioned praying on the weak and easily influenced, and the continued danger of a patriarchal mentality passed down through generations. In the highly publicised fashion industry for instance, that holds a great influence on our society, there have been many instances of very young girls chosen as models, and put into adult life contexts. A notorious example is the 2011 edition of Vogue Paris, who published photographs of Thylane Lourby-blondeau, a 10 year old model who was pictures, in revealing clothes, makeup and jewellery, lying on a bed and looking at the camera with a sultry air.

It sparked a controversy and brought up the issue of the hyper-sexualisation children. Many people and parents stated that it was inappropriate and dangerous to picture a young child in an undeniably sensual light, and that directing a shoot to appeal to post-pubescent men, while the child was too young to understand the implications. Thylane Loubry-Blondeau, on the cover of Vogue Paris, 2011, January edition Others defended it simply as ‘art’, the portrayal of a girl playing dress up, which ultimately does little to justify morals. Art was also the excuse Irina UNESCO gave after photographing and publishing albums of her daughter in sexual, pornographic scene, also nude, from the age of 4 to 11. In an interview with the purple magazine, Ionesco reflects on how her mother used her for years for her own personal gain and career, her works being widely known because they were so scandalous; “She would put make-up on me when I was a child. I slept very little, didn’t go to school. She took erotic photographs of me and made me act in erotic films, of which I was the subject. It wasn’t just about the photos — her entire approach was abusive. Sometimes she would send me to other photographers. She’d say: “You’re going to see such and such a photographer. It’s not great, but you’re going anyway.” It was becoming very dangerous.”(Ionesco). One of the disturbing things about the work Irina published about her daughter is that it is still available to purchase today, and even praised for it’s artistic value.

Eva Ionesco in her adult years has described in detail the “loss of childhood” and the life long effects she had to deal with from being sexualised and abused from such a young age “You were thrown into a world of adults, of nightlife, sex, and art very young — from the age of 12 or 13. And in one of the most liberal periods we’ve seen so far in terms of morals.” She went on to write a film inspired by her childhood and relationship with her mother. As with everything, it is important to avoid blind censure, and condemn anything without a deeper understanding. It is very easy to doggedly pursue a cause and become set in our opinions, and not allow freedom of expression to well meaning individuals, if their children are understanding and willing participants. The artist Sally Man was criticised for publishing nude pictures of her children. They were done as a celebration and a chronicle of her children’s evolution, childhood and slow progression to adulthood, and were done with the children’s understanding and consent, as was made clear in an article in the New York Times “The collaboration of the children in their mother’s work is apparent to anyone who spends time in their company. They are impish, argumentative participants, not robots. (When a photographer asked them what kind of portrait of their mother should accompany this article, they shouted, “Shoot her naked, shoot her naked.” She did.)”(2015).

Sally Mann put the safety and wellbeing of her children above personal gain, choosing to publish her photo album ‘Immediate Family”, when the children would fully be aware of their choice. “I thought the book could wait 10 years, when the kids won’t be living in the same bodies. They’ll have matured and they’ll understand the implications of the pictures. I unilaterally decided.” (2015). One of the effects of the explosion of social media, and their ease of access, is that young children know have the ability to not only watch content that might not be suitable for age but to create content themselves. On Tiktok for instance, there is a lot of content based on visual, and sensual appeal, like women doing suggestive dances in revealing clothing. Women who are old enough have the experience and sense to be fully aware, and take distance themselves from the comments, they are doing it for their own enjoyment. Young girls watch these videos and see the adulation and attention these influencers get, and want to try it out for themselves. Dr Elaine Kasket explains this system on TikTok is artificially amplifying a natural phenomenon. Unfortunately, the same ease of access that allowed the children to post these videos also means that the people who want to abuse them can see them too. Not only do they write inappropriate sexual comment in the comments, or encourage more extreme behaviour for their own benefit, they also get in touch with the minors, and message them privately. Dr Kasket explanation is well illustrated by the 2020 film Cuties shows the traumas and effects of young girls lives governed by social media. This film portrays the journey of a young eleven year old Amy, as she joins a self organised preeteen dance group and is confronted with a whole new world of social media, pressures to be sexual and grown up.

"Teenagers are naturally interested in taking risks and they’re naturally interested in finding out about sex and The sexualisation of young girls is an issue which can be confused, but is also linked to their natural desire to imitate their mother, or older siblings. Every single child has tried at some point to act like their parents. But with the rise and ease of access of social media (instagram, TikTok), children have access to whole new world, and many try to imitate what they see on these platforms. discovering themselves as sexual beings and exploring that. "They are open to flattery, they are open to seduction, they are open to the verification they get from the hearts they get and the likes they get”. (2020, The Sun)Unfortunately, the same ease of access that allowed the children to post these videos also means that the people who want to abuse them can see them too. Not only do they write inappropriate sexual comment in the comments, or encourage more extreme behaviour for their own benefit, they also get in touch with the minors, and message them privately. Dr Kasket explanation is well illustrated by the 2020 film Cuties shows the traumas and effects of young girls lives governed by social media. This film portrays the journey of a young eleven year old Amy, as she joins a self organised preeteen dance group and is confronted with a whole new world of social media, pressures to be sexual and grown up. Through their imitation of sexualised adult women on the media, young girls inherit patriarchal and misogynistic ideals that superficial beauty determines their worth.The child beauty pageants are intensely popular in America, and raise a lot of money for charity. They parade toddler and young children in false nails, high heels, heavy makeup and heavy wigs, and are trained like performing animals to smile, pose and wave at the camera.

Naturally, many people argue that the simple fact of wearing makeup does not affect the girls in the slightest, and while that is true on the surface levels, there is much more than meets the eye. By dressing them up in all these gowns, and covering them in makeup and accessories to make them look “prettier”, the young girls are being taught that their natural appearance is not enough, and moreover that they need all these additional to get praise and win in life.

These little girls might enjoy looking “ like a princess”, but they are also adopting restrictive and superficial beauty ideals, and learning the all importance of appearance. Naturally, it is important to avoid completely vilifying pageants, they are not always the traumatic experience described by anti pageants or even shown behind the scenes pageants show. In her article for The Cut Goode collects the testimonies of other pageant stars and they are a mixed bag. Some describe that they have fond memories of competing, as ' bonding experience with their mother. An other used the platform to raise awareness about suicide, after her mother took her own life when she was 10 years old.But most often pageant are for the parents gain, and while women and mothers are often the ones organising them, they are, unknowingly or not transmitting the pressures of performative femininity to their daughters. Perpetuating a patriarchal and misogynist mindset in which Women must prioritise their appearance above all else, as the only thing giving them value.

And this cult of appearance and the emphasis on changing your appearance too fit the standards is the reason why eating disorders are so common in young girls and women. It could be argued that this is not the same as sexualisation of young girls, but beauty ideals and sexualisation are often intrinsically linked, especially if children are trying to abide to rules set by adults. While this essay has been essentially focussed on young girls, because they are the most targeted and at risk, the sexualisation and perpetuation of beauty ideals gives a toxic example to a future generation of men. Young boys are taught from a young age that pretty girls must look a certain way.

Conclusion:The sexualisation of children is a topic that is heavily discussed, by those against it and those who deny it’s existence or effects. The fact remains that sexualisation along ever occurs for an adult’s personal gain, or benefit.Little girls want to be pretty and attractive, but it is rarely for themselves.Admiring and wanting to be an adult is the most natural thing in the world, it is just tragic that they incorporate toxic ideals of femininity and beauty at the same time.

Bibliography

COTTAIS, C. LOUVET, M. (2021). The dangers of the hypersexualisation of young girls: a stolen childhood. growthinktank.org. [online] Jan. 2021. at https://www.growthinktank.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/The-dangers-of-the-hypersexualisation-of-young-girls_-a-stolen-childhood.pdf(Accessed 8 apr 2021)

Woodward, R. B. (2015) ‘The disturbing photography of Sally Mann’. The New York Times. At:https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/magazine/the-disturbing-photography-of-sally-mann.html(Accessed 5 apr 2021)

Cuties (2020) Directed by M. Doucouré. Available at: Netflix (accessed 20 April 2018)

Ionesco, E.(unknown date) ‘Eva ionesco’. Interview with Eva Ionesco. Interviewed by O. Sham for The Purple Magazine, Paris issue num 32At: https://purple.fr/magazine/paris-issue-31/eva-ionesco/ (Accessed 9 Apr 2021)

Good, L. (2012) ‘I was a child pageant star: Six Adult Women Look Back’. The Cut. (November). At: https://www.thecut.com/2012/11/child-pageant-star.html (accessed 18 April 2021)

Hall. D. ‘How ‘supercharged catnip” Tiktok is fuelling the sexualisation of young girls an exploitation of teens.’ The Sun online. At: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10941512/tiktok-catnip-sexualisation-teens/ (Accessed 18 April 2021).

11 notes · View notes

blarhiv · 5 years

Text

Pre-Debut Fan on Shipping and KM

Guys,one wonderful Anonnie decided to bless us with so well written article.So,please,read it <3

Anonnie,thank you for sharing with us your thoughts!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BE WARNED VERY LONG SHIPPING/KM POST AHEAD!!!!

First of all, I just want to clarify that I’m a KM supporter. By my current understanding and my own personal definition, this is to say that that while I believe in the possibility of these two individuals being in a real-life relationship, I am at peace with the reality that it is also conceivable that they are merely very close, wonderful friends. I will get to KM a bit later, but I first want to go through some general commentary on the statement of the fandom in regards to shipping first. I’ve tried to be as respectful as I could and so, things have gotten quite lengthy indeed.

PART 1: Shipping and Fandoms

Shipping Wars

My first point of major contention lies in shipping wars—in quick and easy summation, I truly really fail to understand shipping wars.

It doesn’t quite make sense to me that there are individuals warring over which ship is real when, no one in the band has ever confirmed a heterosexual relationship, never mind an in-band relationship. So, why fight about it when we can enjoy the lovely bonds between human beings and celebrate good, ostensibly healthy relationships?

If shippers were really into their “ship” (for lack of better terminology) for the bond between those two people, I feel that it is imperative to acknowledge what complete injustice one is doing by participating in something so meaningless and hateful as shipping wars.(Now, despite my refusal to get involved in shipping wars, I do empathize and understand those combating the wretched comments and criticisms these toxic individuals in the fandom say about undeserving band members. But I still do implore people not to argue over with some of these hyper-volatile, toxic individuals about why their perspective is inherently flawed because these people are highly unlikely to entertain a healthy, open discourse about a difference in opinions.)

And at the point where shippers are determined to evince the realness of their ship, I think their intentions are automatically highly suspect.

Why?

If one is truly trying to celebrate the connection, the supposed love, and the affection of said ship, there absolutely shouldn’t be a pressing need or compulsion to prove others wrong for not sharing the same perspective as yours.

At that point, it becomes less about a celebration of love and more about selfish gratification—whatever it is that may be incentivizing said shipper (And there are, unfortunately, a plethora of self-serving reasons people ship which are not limited to the fetishization of gays/Asians, the determination not to have their dreams of being with a band member to be shattered by their significant other being a female, the egotistical compulsion of needing to be “right”, etc.). And if one is shipping with the genuine intentions of supporting a potentially LGBTQ band member or generally supporting two humans demonstrating great love (whether it presents itself in a platonic or romantic expression), it needn’t matter what the label or status of that relationship is.

So, if one is supporting with selfless intentions and a sincere desire to see members happy, there’s no point of arguing about the “realness” of a ship because at the end of the day, all the ships in the band are real—because they all have honest, genuine relationships with one another as friends. Shipping Real People

This is also a highly controversial subject and I believe it is mainly due to the lack of boundaries people have set in place when they participate in shipping real people.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with real people ships—but only under great constraints and self-monitoring. Most people who ship real people do so because human beings are naturally drawn to and attracted to love—that is to say, people love love. That’s why people enjoy romantic movies and relationships between characters on television shows. That’s why writers like to write about love and photographers take pictures of things and people they love.

However, the problem lies in people who take liberties with how seriously they can invest into a real person ship or how entitled they begin to feel towards someone else’s life.

This is where para-social relationships come into place—through the use of social media, fans are given ultra personal ways to interact with celebrities causing them to believe that they’re connected to their idols despite the reality that it is a one-way relationship. These celebrities do not know you—and therefore, they owe you absolutely nothing in regard to their personal life. And so, I absolutely do not condone writing or tagging or demanding things from any real-life ship (ie. VLives, Twitters, fan meets, InstaLives, etc.) where one could be causing the human being distress or pressure. They are, at the end of the day, real people with real feelings and real lives—and we, as fans or spectators at best, are simply entitled to no components of their life.

I think there are instances that you can comment on a celebrity’s life and have it be a perfectly innocuous encounter. For example, it’s quite alright to appreciate and feel second-hand joy at seeing two people whom one respects and follows as a fan looking happy with their potential partners (as in the case of KM) or commenting supportively on a confirmed real-life couple’s Instagram photos (Justin and Hailey Bieber, Michelle and Barak Obama, Hyuna and E’Dawn, Cara Delevine and Ashley Benson, etc.). Feeling joy at seeing someone else happy or commenting something cute and chill on a real-life couple’s picture doesn’t cost anything nor does it harm anyone. But if you, as a fan, begin to demand things from said people if the real life couple breaks up (Justin Bieber-Selena Gomez, Cole Sprouse-Lili Reinhart, etc.) or you hate the real significant other after one half of a popular ship is revealed to be dating someone else (Zendaya-Tom Holland-anonymous girlfriend), that’s when you’ve got a real problem and you need to reassess what you’re doing. If you are going to ship a real-life ship, do it sensitively—don’t personally bother these people with your unsolicited advice and woes, they don’t care about your ships, they just want to live their lives.

Fetishization and Homophobia

Another deeply problematic that comes with the shipping territory is the fetishization.

There are, unfortunately, many fans that like the idea of a real ship right up until the point there’s a possibility where the members might actually be part of the LGBTQ community. It’s sexy and sensual, a “guilty pleasure”, to imagine the idea of gays, but the actual concept of homosexuality as a real part of someone’s identity is somehow unacceptable to many fans. This is definitely a problem in the Asian music industry.

While girls fawn over the boy-boy interactions on stage, these same young women are equally likely to be disgusted by the existence of actual homosexual men trying to celebrate their love on the streets—and the KPop industry feeds into this by via methods like encouraging fan service between members or the Pepero game.

This is deeply disheartening as there are, without doubt, LGBTQ members in this industry—we may not know them by name or face (aside from Holland), but they certainly do exist. And how sad is it to imagine that the closest to acceptance these human beings will ever attain for their sexual preferences is on stage for the gratification of fans who won’t even support them if they actually come out? If you only enjoy same-sex interactions on stage, feeling repulsion or deterrence in supporting a gay or lesbian idol based on their sexual preferences, you probably have some soul searching to do.

Another thing I’ve noticed is the tendency of same-sex shippers to modify a harmless interaction between members as they make jokes or innuendos that splatter a hue of raw sexual essence onto the moment—this is, in part, some fetishization. We should try to avoid this as gay men are trying to escape the sexualized view a large majority of people have about them.

And KMers are guilty of this—after all, sometimes when a boy says he wants to do his laundry, he really just wants to do his laundry.

So, this is something else to keep in mind.

General Homophobia

How many times have bloggers received comments about how X members can’t be gay or how if X is gay that the anon can’t be a fan of that person anymore? I’ve definitely read several too many in my time and these are all exemplifying comments of people who house internal homophobia.

Unfortunately, the need to explicitly state and prove homosexuality will always be a symptom of the heteronormativity of most societies—and I do understand why it happens and it’s not always a malicious assumption.

What I peacefully and regretfully do not understand are aggressive fans who flagrantly deny the possibility of any other sexuality aside from being straight—these instances really make me suspect these are mainly female fans that can’t stomach the possibility of their idols not being into their gender or are straight up homophobic without any other reason. (That being said, I also don’t encourage any same-sex shippers/supporters to make assumptions about sexualities either. It’s fine to support and to suspect the possibility of a same-sex relationship, but there should always be that margin for error since none of these idols are definitively out.)

Conclusion to General Shipping

TLDR; my basic point in the first part of this ridiculous essay is that, we should really all respect one another as members of a single fandom. And beyond that, we should all respect the people whom we are shipping, taking great care and using our sensibilities to ensure we aren’t making real people uncomfortable.

PART 2: KM

History as a Fan of BTS

So, I just want to clarify that I am a pre-debut BTS fan. I literally read about JM and JK a couple days before they were due to debut and as a huge hip-hop fan, I was immediately interested in their concept. I instantly fell in love with JM’s voice and JK’s multi-faceted talents (and live vocal skills)—that is to say, I was most interested in these two members from the very beginning. As of recent days, I have detached myself from the fandom, preferring to keep a great distance away due to the toxicity and negativity I’ve unfortunately been privy to as the fan base grows bigger and bigger—and it really does make me incredibly sad. I’ve always been into BTS for the music—they were what I listened to bussing up to school as I admired the Cyphers by the rap-line, the gorgeous fluidity of JM’s melodic voice, the deep resonance of TH’s voice, and JK’s talents as a quality, consistent singer despite his age.

And now, sometimes the ship wars and solo stans are louder than the positive members in this community. Luckily, I’ve found a small niche of BTS blogs and KM blogs that have made this experience a lot easier (for KM blogs, many thanks to people like blarhiv, slowlybutobvious-jikook, gaja-aegiya-gaja, chaotic-jikook, singwriteluv, jiminkoo, etc.)

Shipping as a Whole

Now, as for the shipping component. I want to clarify I’m a very selective real-person shipper—I don’t look for mere skin ship or overt proclamations of love or popularity of ship.

Of course, these are initially the easiest features to discern a shippable “ship”, but I’m well practiced in the KPop industry and know these factors between members are virtually useless in discerning romantic interest.

On top of being a selective shipper, I also think it’s safe to say I’m pretty respectful about shipping as I always try to maintain reasonable skepticism and I’ve never commented anything about shipping on any forum that could make the involved individual uncomfortable. With all that being said, the beginning of BTS, I did not see ANY SHIPS that I could’ve deemed suspicious enough to be considered real. They were all just young kids that were trying to pave their path to success and just boys messing around on their early television appearances whilst trying to promote their albums.

And even when YM and TK began to gain traction as the fandom’s decidedly largest ships with some believing them to be “real”, I still didn’t see it—and this is said with utmost respect to their closeness and respect for one another as teammates, colleagues, and close friends.

Undoubtedly, their interactions were playful and adorable, but there was nothing in how they interacted to rouse any suspicions whatsoever. I would view their interactions as commonplace as any other men in regular friendships—with their culture and their age and their jobs in consideration. Again, I never understood people who truly believed in the validity of these ships.

Now, to be fair, I have, of course, also participated in casually shipping a few members for fun too. For example, I thought Sope was cute and I was drawn to VM’s friendship as well—JM and TH were so ridiculously cute and close, it was nearly impossible not to casually ship them. In the earlier years, since I believed there to be no "real" ships, I was on board with other casual shippers but was greatly confused by those who believed the big three ships (YM, NJ, and TK) were actually real.

My View on Early KM

I first started tuning into KM when I saw a particular Bomb clip of JM and JK messing around with a phone app where their voices were autotuned. Whilst JM was laughing, JK just had his face crinkled up with the softest look on his face. I was like, “huh”—but it definitely wasn’t enough for me to begin thinking it could be real.

Since it was one isolated incident, caught directly on camera, it wasn’t nearly enough evidence to make any logical inferences. At that point, I’d just be jumping onto the train of delusion. While on the subject of early KM, I also want to take this opportunity to quickly give my take on this malicious narrative that JK doesn’t like JM—as a pre-debut fan, I’ve never bought into this.

Between JK’s self-proclaimed shyness towards JM’s unadulterated fondness for him, JK’s proclivities to drop honorifics on camera even from the beginning, JK telling JM he teases his hyung because he likes him—I was almost flabbergasted when I first caught inklings of it.

This is such an outrageous vilification and outright character assassination of a young kid in his teens who didn’t know how to deal with his hyung’s affections, despite having always confirmed and reassured JM that he does, in fact, like him.

The fact that so-called fans to this day still try to drive this narrative despite the fact that JK has set fire and gasoline to this toxic roller coaster ride of lies and delusions is actually unfathomable to me. Never mind the exact type of relationship KM have, it’s just so distinguishably clear that JK really, really likes JM judging by the amount of time they spend together and how beautiful JK’s smile is when he’s around JM.

The Shift

Essentially, I casually shipped Sope, VM, and KM at some point—they were my favourites to see interact and I was always cooing over how adorable their bonds were with one another. And if I’m being frank, I was especially partial to the latter two ships because of how attentive and caring JM is to his younger members.

JM’s kindness has always touched my heart.

I find JM’s interactions with people the most fascinating based off the fact that he is just an enthralling, ethereal human being with this gorgeous voice and enormous heart—and for that, he was my very favourite member always.

But, of course, I am a KM supporter.How did this happen?

Well, my eyes nearly bugged out of my head at the infamous back hug at 2015 KBS Music Festival—especially since it was JK being so unusually expressive and forward with his affection. But perhaps this was a cultural thing? I definitely felt some cognitive dissonance as I tried to explain the strange, almost romantic aura of the moment using logic despite sensing that this string of reasoning didn’t sit quite right with me. But again, one isolated incident is a whole lot of nothing in the world of skin ship and KPop.

But as we all know, at this point, we got see KM get closer and see their relationship develop and I was really all for it as I was incredibly pleased by that personal growth in JK as a maturing adult and the joy it conversely seemed to bring JM with this newly matured JK.

JK’s Development

A large part of my transition over from casual to serious “shipper” is actually because of JK. I’ve always viewed him as a talented individual, as aforementioned, but other than that there was certainly other larger personalities that caught my eye quicker—between JM’s big heart, JH’s enormous personality, and TH’s quirks, he was definitely quietly existing in the background when he wasn’t performing. But he really just grew into himself and I think any fan can see that.

There’s all the general ways he grew up, his physique and his facial structure and his height, but more than anything my heart softened immensely when I began to see what a beautiful soul this boy had always had. I’m not saying that he’s not without flaws—because another a huge problem in the industry is the fans’ tendency to idealize their idols past the mortal realm of making mistakes or having character flaws—but anyone can see he’s clearly matured.

The way he treats JM only gets better and better with each year.

And I genuinely don’t feel that it’s delusional to say the way that he treats JM is vastly different from any other member. He is kind-hearted with a dreamy view on the world and he’s good to his hyungs after everything they’ve done for him when he’d been a child, but he’s that in tenfold around JM. To say he doesn’t play favourites when JM’s involved is being willfully ignorant because there’re so many recent examples alone (the way he splashes water on SJ vs. JM, the way he roughhouses other members vs. JM, the way he gives JM a big pancake because of an impending punishment vs. SJ in same predicament, the attentive way he watches JM in interviews over other members, the way he monitors JM's health via food and drink, etc.).

I also want to mention as a disclaimer that these comparisons aren’t made in any type of malicious way or with the intent of discrediting relationships between JK and other members. It’s simply instrumental in understanding why such a large population of non-shippers have been drawn to KM as a potential real pairing versus any other pairing. If everyone stopped inserting their own captions and interpretations of JK’s actions and only had the source material in front of them, no misleading historical content to waylay new fans with a tired and counterfeit narrative, it’s pretty clear that JK displays incredible fondness and tenderness towards JM in a conspicuous manner.

It doesn’t make his relationships with the others any less, it just makes his relationship with JM just that little bit more. It’s not about putting down or undermining the other relationships, it’s just about acknowledging the reality of JK’s obvious magnetism towards JM. If a fan really cares for JK, it’s almost cruel to disregard the fact that his face lights up when he’s with JM (WeVerse picture, JM punching him on the shoulder, FaceTime picture, VLive, etc.) and his voice softens when he speaks to JM (Run episode with JK slating, Run episode playing palm game, Run episode asking JM if he’s ready, etc.).

These examples aren’t delusions, it’s reality—the evidence are quite literally in photographs or videos. As a longtime fan, I honestly and sincerely mean this—JK has become a handsome man in my eyes not because of his appearance (though he’s undeniably good-looking) but because of the way he treats JM and others he cares for. As the years pass by, his heart and soul has become more and more beautiful in my eyes. I can’t attribute it fully to JM, but I can certainly say that my heart melts when I see his interactions with JM—not because I am a shipper/supporter but because as an empathetic human, I am viscerally drawn to humans with kindness in their hearts. The man treats JM so, so well. I know I keep repeating this but it’s just a grave injustice to ignore how much JK cares for JM. Never mind your projected desires and your biases, just look at what’s in front of you and just appreciate that enviable, lovely bond. Even if people will choose to disregard romantic overtones in GCFt or the meaningful lyrics during the times JM shows up in GCFsai or the fact he has the most screen time overall (which is fine), it'd be prudent to at least acknowledge the fact that JM is incredibly treasured by this young man.

JMs Shift

Another thing that made me suspicious was the transition of JM’s behavior as well.

I find it harder to read JM than JK in many ways—perhaps it’s just an introvert relating with follow introvert—but there are differences in his behavior that also made me question things as well.

It’s obvious that JM used to be a little much for shy, introverted JK in front of the camera and that that behavior tapered off as the years went by. I do think a large part of it is due to JM growing up (although I do suspect some part might be due to vicious fans who might’ve hurt his feelings about his personality) and reigning himself in. But even then, he was still visibly touchy and affectionate with JK—just as he is with all his other members—whether he was petting his head, openly calling him cute, or what have you.

In my view, the most telling thing about JM is how careful he seems around JK—something in his behavior feels tailored in a way that’s still affectionate towards JK but in a way not to rouse suspicion even if the body and eyes don’t lie.

I’m not sure if it even makes sense, but I do sense a certain sense of caution about how JM treats JK in the public eye in comparison to JK who reliably wears his heart on his sleeve. He seems to be more aware of cameras and the public eye than JK does. It’s really hard to verbalize, but I’ve sensed a discernible change in how JM treats JK—it’s not bad or worrisome, it’s just different.(Although, they’ve gradually become a lot more carefree this year.)

Time Skip

I don’t want to bore everyone anymore than I already have, but the point of how I became a more serious supporter compared to my origins as a casual shipper is based off suspicious trends and continuous patterns in the boys’ behaviours over multiple years.

Even now, I continuously try to translate the boys’ body language, vocal tone (when speaking to each other vs. another member), facial expressions, and constant mentions of one another as a platonic demonstration of affection. And some interactions are pretty harmlessly adorable, just a little something to wet the lips of any casual shipper, but with the surmounting amount of moments it becomes really hard for even the most logical person not question the nature of their relationship.

KM and Ship Wars

Clearly, the progression of their relationship has been the target of incredible hatred and frustration on the parts of hostile members of other ships and it’s gotten to a point where they’ve resorted to subterfuge to try pilot a plane missing a wing—that is to say, they’re trying to keep an aircraft based on intentional mistranslations, vicious lies, and carefully crafted stories of events that have been disproven afloat.

The incredible discrepancy between what sorts of behavior can be categorically classified as fan service seems to conveniently shift based on whatever is keeping the fragile balance of their dreams alive despite evidence to the contrary.

The moment we try to discount or negate the relationships a member has with another one in the name of a ship, there’s absolutely a problem that needs reassessment—this goes for all fans including KMers.

KM and Coming Out

I want to clarify very firmly that if you are a true supporter of KM, one who selflessly wants their happiness above everything (which includes everything from the potential of KM having other significant others, KM being single, KM being involved in a fling, etc.), you absolutely do not want or need them to come out.

If they do come out, of their own choice and volition, you can happily support them, but you do not need or seek this from them.

And may I carefully remind people that if you want them to come out for the sole purpose of feeling vindicated against other shippers, you’re not a true supporter and you’re in this for selfish reasons. So, if you imagine your first instinct will be an outcry of “I told you so, I’m right” with the express purpose of throwing it in another ship’s face, please evaluate your role and incentive in being a KMer. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or if you’re wrong—all that matters are these incredible boys who inspire people on the daily are happy, healthy, and well. I honestly want their happiness and safety over a confirmation of a relationship any day and I really encourage all supporters to feel this way as well. In a conservative Asian society, it wouldn’t be easy to maneuver as an openly homosexual man. I implore you to consider the occurrences of hate crimes in more liberal countries. It’s not going to be an improvement, only likely to be a far more isolating experience, in a more traditional country with homophobic tendencies as the majority sentiment. So, while I know most reasonable supporters feel this way, this is a reminder to toxic shippers to stay in your lane and stop demanding things from other human beings that owe you nothing—they don’t owe you pictures of WeVerse, they don’t owe you selfies with one another on Twitter, and they don’t owe you a coming-out story to prove your ship right.

Conclusion

To sum up, I’m not saying that KM is real for sure.

No one can know that except their personnel, their friends, and their family—or sadly, in a conservative country, perhaps even just themselves. The point is, we as fans, absolutely cannot know for certain.

And this is mainly why I'm not too concerned or bothered about timelines or specific dates. We don't know and there's no point (for me) to delve this far into the realm of speculation. But to each their own as long as you're not being invasive to KM!

However, I’m not unconfident in saying that if they are not real, the likelihood of any other same-sex relationship in the band is highly unlikely—though not impossible.

I also want to reassure everyone that I love the bonds between all the members and encourage everyone to understand that even if you favour or don’t favour one member over another to realize that your opinion really doesn’t matter in comparison to how BTS feels about one another—they love one another.

And at the end of the day, shipping isn’t so important that we need to fight over it.

After all, if all we’re trying to do is support love, then shouldn’t we be doling it out to?

And with that, I’m out!

Thank you to anyone for reading and keep well and healthy everyone!

PS Thank you very much to Blarhiv to allowing me to use her blog as a platform! This very, very special individual we should all treasure in the KM community!!!❤️❤️❤️

(omg anonnie this is too cute тттт Thank YOU).

#jikook #Kookmin #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jimin #park jimin

242 notes · View notes

shawnsorangeglasses · 5 years

Text

Peer Pressure

2.2k words

idea and proofreading credit to @rulerofnocountry. this one really put me out of my comfort zone and i thank you for that 💛.

synopsis: Months of sneaking around with his social media manager finally catches up with Shawn when he has to confront her about where they stand

warnings: angssstt, and a smidgen allusion to sex

sorry in advance

…

He wakes up in the middle of the night again. Brian is still snoring in bed on his side of the hotel room. Shawn sits up, rubbing his face, then falls back into his pillow, which is now warm and damp from his sweat. That had to be the worst dream to date. It was the kind you get where you’re not totally asleep, just hallucinating. Everyone he knew had him surrounded, yelling and screaming at him, but no sound came out of their mouths.

Shawn flips his pillow over to the cool side and buries his face, hoping to find some relief. His hand bumps into his phone on the bed sheets so he unlocks it. She still hasn’t texted back.

He knew deep down that this— whatever it is— couldn’t last forever. Somebody would find out and that would be the end of it all. Just picturing what that day will look like, feel like, makes his throat close up. He just has to hope it won’t blow up in his face.

Kristiana came on board the team about six months ago. Andrew introduced her during a press week as the new social media manager. At first, there was nothing but business. The industry could be unforgiving at times and he grew to dislike putting all his cards on the table for introductions. Somehow, Kris broke down those poorly made walls and found herself comfortable in his bubble. And Shawn welcomed it, of course, because why wouldn’t he? She was witty and affectionate and genuinely interested in him. She still is. At least, that’s what she said multiple times in a multitude of ways. Whenever she helped him with fan interactions, joined his now frequent live streams, and reminded him to go dark and take a break from the endless stream of information, life seemed to get easier to cope with. She never changed what he wanted his online presence to be, but rather helped him articulate his personality more. He owed so much of his peace of mind to her. Kris cemented herself as his anchor without even trying.

Needless to say, the level of intimacy has increased since then. Shawn deliberately reserved his doubts about her intentions, though they stayed in the background to some extent. Was she taking advantage of his age or his position? She had her own business going for herself so she didn’t need anything from him. She isn’t all that interested in making a spotlight for herself. And she made him feel so good, and wanted, and— as childish as it sounds— grown up. To let go now, at this point, might hurt too much.

It’s sleepless nights like this that make Shawn wonder if he made the right decision. If everything really was fine, why is there so much weight resting in his chest right now? Why does he feel like no one will understand if they come clean? Why does he feel the need to keep it a secret from everyone, including his family?

He turns on the bedside lamp and looks down at his bare chest. The marks he let her leave behind a few nights ago are starting to fade and heal. She’s certainly good at everything she does. The first time it happened was spontaneous. They were both missing home and only got a little drunk. Not enough to be unaware of the decision to have sex, but definitely enough to let go of their inhibitions. Weeks of pining for her and writing songs no one would ever hear all spilled out of him that evening. It felt right then. And every other time after.

Shawn unlocks his phone again and taps the Instagram icon. Her post happens to be the first thing on his timeline. Every photo of him on her profile looks so innocent and regular at first glance. Only he and Kris know the truth of what happened before that shutter clicked and she made him blush with a whisper. He was guilty of doing the same to her.

But something in him felt sick tonight. He got up and darted into the bathroom, gripping the sink to stop his hands from shaking. The dream was far too clear and vivid to be forgotten so easily. He knows trying to force the images out will only make them stronger, but to just sit in this anxiety, by himself is a nightmare in itself.

The truth is Kristiana had changed. She’s no longer carefree person she was before feelings got involved. Everything became so hush hush and secretive. What used to be fun and off the cuff hanging out turned into calculated sneaking around. It got to the point where she was scheduling the times the rest of the team would fall asleep so she and Shawn could visit each other’s hotel room for a few hours at a time. Although, he enjoyed the effort at first, it started to kill the virtue of their actions. He was losing sleep and had no appropriate explanation. It’s only a matter of time before the work starts to suffer.

A chime from his phone catches his attention. She finally replied.

[meet me in the lobby?]

…

Kris looks tired, but kind of the way a flower looks after being weighed down by the rain. Her hair is wet, twisted into a coil on her right shoulder. She’s biting her nails again, eyes glued to her phone, and he feels his heart soften. No one else is around this time of night except the front desk clerk. It feels like they’re past a nonexistent curfew.

“Kris,” he says quietly. Her head snaps around and she hops to her feet.

“Shawn,” she slides her cell into her pocket. “Hey.”

“Did I wake you?”

She shakes her head. “I never went to sleep.”

Shawn glances at the desk clerk who’s not paying them any mind, but he still worries. It’s a byproduct of sneaking around. “Could we go somewhere else?”

“Yeah sure.” Kris folds her arms over her chest, a thinking habit of hers. “There’s no one by the pool.”

They head for the back of the hotel to the gated outdoor patio. Shawn holds the door for her, taking the opportunity to see if they’ve been followed. He knows they haven’t, but his mind won’t let him rest without checking.

“I know what you’re going to say,” she starts.

“No you don’t, Kris.”

He takes one step towards her, single handedly capturing her in a feverish kiss. She reciprocates with the same vigor, and her fingers snake under his shirt and trace cold lines up his waistline. Her mouth is the only one he’s kissed that seems to melt into his perfectly. A surge of energy courses through Shawn’s body like it always does when he’s skin to skin with Kristiana and he knows this feeling is still very much real. That is until she pushes back, painfully removing his hands from her hips.

“Shawn, that is not what we came down here for. You and I both know that.”

Shawn goes numb from head to toe. It’s just now hitting him that he hadn’t decided on what he wanted to say to her or if he wanted to end it at all. The thought crossed his mind, but only long enough to leave a dull ache in his chest. It’s definitely going to hurt.

“You’ve been different lately,” he admits.

“Yeah well,” she crosses her arms. “What’s life without a little change every once in a while?”

Shawn rolls his eyes. “Change isn’t always good.”

“Change is necessary,” she reflects.

Shawn’s jaw sets. “I didn’t come down here to argue with you. Neither of us are happy like we used to be. But Kris, I still want to be with you and you’re not going to stand here and tell me you don’t feel something too.”

“I want us to be happy again too, and there’s a simple solution for that.“ She clears her throat. “I thought it over for a long time. I’ve decided to go remote again. For good this time.”

“What?”

“It’s the best move for both of us. Maybe the distance will clear our heads-”

“Kris, that’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing.”

Shawn paces the width of the pool, wetting his bare feet on the damp concrete. Kris steps out of his way, eyes trained on the ground. When he turns on his heel a third time, she’s briskly wiping her face. She never was one to cry in front of anybody, not even him. She obviously doesn’t want to end this, so she’s trying to make this business and not personal. That was the only part of her he never liked, when Kris shut down.

“You can’t just stand here and pretend like the last five months never happened.”

“I’m not. I already booked a flight for next week,” she finally says.

“Fucking cancel it!”

Kris steps in front of him. “Shawn, you don’t need me here.”

“So that’s it? You’re just gonna bail, after everything we’ve done together?”

“I don’t have a choice!”

“Bullshit. You do this every time it gets too real for you. We’re not in a boardroom meeting, Kris. We’re in a hotel. Standing next to a neon blue pool. Nothing about this is business.”

Her face holds its cold expression in spite of her growing red in her eyes. “I’m still going to be around, just not physically. When you need me, I can make myself available, but it has to be strictly work related. Boundaries have to be set.”

Shawn scoffs. “We’re way past setting boundaries, don’t you think?”

“There’s no use going through all the formalities, so I’ll just cut to the chase.” Kris stands up straighter. “This was a mistake and we’re better off separated. I can pretend it never happened if you can.”

“Stop it,” he says sharply. “I never said I wanted to stop.”

She exhales. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Kris, I get that you’re scared of what people will say. I do. But, if we just come clean-”

“Shawn, I can’t,” she blurts. “I- I can’t be that person for you.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Kris doesn’t respond. Shawn pulls at his hair. His lungs fill with cool night air. “You don’t want it to be this way. I know you don’t.”

“Well then what do you want, Shawn? Because I can’t stand to watch you fall apart knowing it’s all my fault.”

“I want…” Shawn stops himself short. He has to be honest. “I want to not feel guilty about us anymore.”

“What does that have to do with me?” She tries to sound indignant, but a voice crack takes all the bite out of her words.

“It has everything to do with you, Kristiana. You’re the one that said we had to be under the radar. You’re the one that doesn’t want anyone to know about us. And I’ve tried to be understanding, but how do you think that makes me feel?”

Kris shakes her head. “All the more reason for me to leave. You’ll have room to think when I’m gone. I shouldn’t be in your life if I make you feel so terrible.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he says softly. “Stop twisting it to fit your reasoning. We can just tell everyone the truth!”

“No. We can’t.” Kris finally holds eye contact with Shawn for the first time since they left the lobby. “No one will forgive us for this. Be realistic.”

Her face is puffy and flush from all the tears and it’s almost scary to see her this way, like finding a wounded animal. She’s just as lost and hurt as Shawn is in this moment.

“I’ve booked the flight and I’m leaving,” she says through her broken voice. “My mind has been made up for a while.”

Shawn sits down on a foldable chair, deflated. The shakes were gone by now. Even when she’s being infuriating, she was calming him down.

“Fine. You win.”

“Shawn, please.”

“No, you’re absolutely right, Kris. We’re done.”

She cautiously places a hand on his shoulder and he swears it stings. “You’ll realize later on that this was for the best,” she promises.

“That’s your problem Kris.” Shawn rises to his feet again, rubbing the burning wet from his eyelids. “Always thinking ten steps ahead and forgetting what’s right in front of you. Life isn’t some fucking Instagram post or tweet for you to plan.”

Kris falls silent, marking her end of the discussion. Shawn doesn’t wait around any longer. In about six long strides, he’s back to the hotel entrance. He swipes his card key and pulls the handle. Even though he knows he shouldn’t, he turns around. Kris is stood at the edge of the pool, checking her phone. It’s as if the fight never happened and she’s back to work as usual.

The further away he gets, the harder it gets to breathe. Taking the elevators isn’t an option, should somebody see him in this state and wonder what’s wrong. He ducks into the stairwell and the tear tracks are made before he can reach the first step. Shawn stays there on the frigid tile until the sobs stop coming. He doesn’t want to wake up Brian.

…

taglist:

@rulerofnocountry @sinceweremutual @enchantingbrowneyedgirl @shawnmendes048 @onigirishawn @shawn-youth @nevermindmisha @ashwarren32 @witch-bitch-life

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff

178 notes · View notes

innocentseason1ulluwebseries · 4 years

Text

Innocent Part 1 2020 Season 1 Ullu Web Series Download 720p

Innocent Part 1 2020 S01 Hindi Ullu Original Complete Web Series 720p HDRip 350MB Download, Innocent Season 1 Ullu Web Series Download

IMDB Ratings : N/A Directed: Riju Chandrayan Released Date: 11th September 2020 Genres: Drama , Romance Languages: Hindi Film Stars: Joanna Robaczewska ( Suman ), Hirock Sonowal ( Bhola ), Mayur Verma ( Bhavesh ), Marina Kuwar ( Marina ) Quality: 720p HDRip File Size: 350MB

Click Here To DOWNLOAD NOW

ULLU is introducing another web arrangement named 'Blameless' is just around the corner. This web arrangement of ULLU will be delivered on the OTT stage on 11 September 2020. His official trailer has been delivered. You can likewise watch its official trailer which is presently drifting via web-based media. In this web arrangement Marina Kuwar, Mayur Verma will be found ahead of the pack job. In this web arrangement, Innocent individual is appeared, which isn't generally Innocent, it is unpleasant. How he utilizes recordings of couples to extort them and to procure cash.

The web arrangement is destined to be delivered on 11 September 2020 this month. Companions, you won't neglect to see this site. Alongside this, the Blind Kotha web arrangement will be delivered. Companions, remember to watch it. Every one of its scenes will be submitted to ULLU. Likewise, remain with us so every one of you are not denied of any significant data. Bigg Boss Telugu Season 4: Full List of 16 Contestants

The present time is moving towards web arrangement. To pacify its crowd, ULLU has introduced this web arrangement, which shows the open sex connection. Companions, remember to watch it. Its trailer has caused a buzz via online media, because of which all the crowd is getting edgy to see this web arrangement. This is the official trailer of the web arrangement which quickly depicts this whole web arrangement. What will occur?

A sharp and horrendous psyche behind the naivety is appeared in this web arrangement. How a kid extorts them utilizing the couple's recordings and figures out how to gain a ton of cash. This web arrangement presents a horrendous psyche and a decent lucrative technique. DU selection test 2020

This arrangement is likewise accessible on ULLU application, so companions every one of you can download the ULLU App to watch this web arrangement. So you can appreciate this web arrangement whenever. Also, remain associated with us similarly so you can know about each notice given by us. What's more, don't be denied of any significant data.

Likewise, many web arrangement have been introduced on ULLU channel, which the crowd wants to watch. You won't need to stand by any more since this web arrangement will be delivered on September 11, 2020.

and he is also the hero of this film. He put the bad guy Sadashiv Amrapurkar at the time because, I suspect, he kept stealing the heroine's clothes and his wigs wandering around in them. Now he also hits the baddie, Gyaan Prakash "Guruji" (Makarand Deshpande), when he appears in the gotta-patti lehnga-dupatta that the heroine may have had on a special night. Father Bhatt is back to normal after 19-20 years. In his long career,

a prominent director made Arth, Saaransh, Janam, Naam - stellar films in a large pond of boring independence. But in his life he has never made a bad film like Sadak 2. Watching Sadak 2 felt like he had recaptured Sadak's undeniable food power, which was not a good film to start with, but he worked at the time due to innocence and Pooja Bhatt's lisp, Sadashiv's evil act and catchy songs. Sadak 2, set directly in Sadak - in the sense of what happened to those characters - comes from the same journey as the heavily pregnant characters who seem to have nowhere to go except the godown where they are badly found,

the B-1980s are discarded. Aarya (Alia Bhatt) is the richest heir of the Desai Group of Industries, headed by Pope Yogesh Desai (Jisshu Sengupta) and mother Shakuntala. At the age of 21, he should inherit all of his property. But Shakuntala is dead and replaced. Nandini Maa (Priyanka Bose) is Aarya's mother and new mother. And, presumably, he is the murderer of his sister at the behest of Guruji. So Aarya is angry and committed to fighting him on Instagram. This involves wearing a hoodie and putting on his ashram to heat Guguji's cut bigger than life. Please, dear reader,

pause and think about this: Aarya in a hoodie first spray paint "BADLA" on Guguji's cut, then pour petrol on it and burn it. As it burns, he starts recording it and sends it to his account @IndiaAgainstFakeGurus, #Victory. What is the purpose of sprinkling the word "EAT" while burning? Still. A few minutes later, when armed with Guruji's armed chellas, Aarya points to two fingers and pretends to shoot, "Thish".

Aarya is considered mentally unstable by Nandini Maa and given the sequence of events mentioned above, there may be something in that diagnosis. Meanwhile, somewhere in Mumbai, Ravi (Sanjay Dutt), owner of Pooja Tours and Travels, is crying and smelling the saree. He continues to talk to Pooja under his big black and white poster brand new scented candle. She was so upset that she decided to stop. But the ceiling hinge cannot take his weight off. He was taken to the same psychiatric hospital where Aarya was treated.

When he returns, Ravi is busy trying to find another way to stop himself, but Aarya, who has run away from his luxurious house that looks like a banquet hall designed by JJ Valaya, keeps knocking on his door. It appears that three months ago Pooja took his booking to be transferred to Kailash Parvat. Meanwhile, Gyaan Prakash emerges from a small black dot and wears the entire Tribal collection of Amrapali jewelry, in gold. Her hair is cold and so is her shocking conversation like ordering the removal of a young heir.

Enroute to Kailash, Aarya tells Ravi to turn in jail. When he asks why, we are bombarded with a thousand-year-old imagination involving treadmill, dedicated activists and a meeting of the two. Only two India Fights Fake Gurus activists important to Sadak 2 - Aarya and troll-turned-ally, Vishal (Aditya Roy Kapoor). Vishal emerges from Central Jail with a guitar hanging from one shoulder and a ullu in a cage in the other. It was as if he had not been sentenced to a felony conviction but had been invited by the inmates to sing and strengthen his guitar in a weekend match.

Ravi does not like Vishal, but he likes Kumbhkaran ullu and they form a temporary bond that reminds me of Iqbal and Allah Rakha (Coolie). In the flashbacks we see Aarya and Vishal arguing over the need to fight vishwas and wealthy children expressing concern, all without getting any attention that they are on their way to Kailash Parvat to say Har Har Mahadev. Aarya discovers that at least two trusted people have been planted by Guruji to remove him, and Ravi decides to give in to Aarya's attitude and the irritating indifference shown by Vishal, one Hathkata goon (Gulashan Grover) and a loyal Bollywood's overactor (Mohan Kapoor). , should treat.

So he goes out alone, singing Ram Naam Satya Hai. She is lucky for him, all the people who need to remove them are gathered at a feast made by Valaya. After a bloody climax "thish-thish" comes a press conference. This scene, which is constantly evolving, is so bad and boring that I felt as if we had not just been given a delicious meal by a chef who had been waiting for him, but when he turned to leave, he let out a sigh of relief.

Alia Bhatt has never been so bad or looked so lost, though the same cannot be said of Aditya Roy Kapoor. As with most of his films, here he looks like he has come to the sets that will hang him, but suddenly he was told to change to two or three lines. Watching Priyanka Bose's "action" is a work in progress. It's just that she can't play Lady Macbeth mentally, over and over. The Sadak 2 drama, written by Mahesh Bhatt and Sumitra Sengupta, may have been completed with a post-it note. It is the first festoons with two small letters with random features and edges and then inc

Click Here To DOWNLOAD NOW

1 note · View note

surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #248

“i was unprepared for fame, then everybody knew my name.”

Are you more positive or a debbie downer? I don't think I'm either, honestly. I'm realistic. How many meals do you eat a day? Since getting a calorie & macro counting app, I try to aim for three, but sometimes I only manage two. I have to be conscious of how I'm spacing out what I eat. If you could have any talent in the world what would it be? Be realistic. Draw exactly what I see in my head. Do you brush your tongue with your tooth brush? Bitch you better brush your goddamn tongue. I didn't know until I saw this as a survey question a while back that there were people who didn't. How many times do you brush your teeth a day honestly? Once. What are you favorite type of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore, but aesthetically, dark, skinny, torn jeans. Do you pop your bones, crack your knuckles? NO it disgusts me omg. There's this girl who sits in front of me in Women Writers class who cracks her back ALL the time and I have to fight cringing so, so hard. Do you eat your nails? YO NO. I may peel my nails when they get long (to me, anyway) but who the fuck eats their nails. Do you eat the ice in your drink? If it's that good cronchy type, fuck yeah. What do you order at Chic-Fil-A? I used to just get the classic sandwich and fries, but I stopped going there forever ago due to their connection to anti-LGBTQ organizations. By now I can't even stomach the thought of eating something from there. Damn are their sandwiches good, but I'm not giving them business. If you had to go to Mcdonalds what do you order? "Had to" lmao. I have no problem with McDonald's, honestly; you couldn't make me go, because I'd be quite willing. I love their cheeseburgers and, of course, their fries. But because I'm a fatass I have to at least get a double cheeseburger. Have you ever been addicted to cigarettes? No. Which do you use more? Facebook or Instagram? Facebook. Are you a student? If so, what classes will you take next? Yes. "Next," I don't know, considering I haven't chosen classes for next year. Currently I take Painting, Women Writers, Psychology, and Biology. Are you a good kisser? I don't know? How many real bf/gf have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Sure, save for the one with Tyler. That was pointless as shit. Would you ever get back with your ex? Sara, if certain conditions were right. Jason, I honestly don't know and hope I'm never put into the position to need to decide. Other exes, no. Do you like 80’s music? Rock and metal, absolutely. It was a great decade for the genres. Name a comedy that you like. Rush Hour 2 popped to mind first because we mentioned it in school yesterday. Do you like homework? ??????????? WHAT IS THIS QUESTION???????????????? NO??????????????? Something you want to buy real bad? Ugggghhhhh a lot. Being unemployed is a BLAST!!!!!!!!!! Something you would buy a friend as a gift? It depends on the person, of course. I try really hard to give very personal gifts, so what it would be would greatly vary. What is something that would be a good birthday gift for you? Donate Big Bucks to my tattoo fund and I'll give you smooches. Something you would gift yourself? Still tattoos lmfao. Favorite candle scent? Cinnamon rolls mmmmmmmmm. Do you watch beauty videos on YouTube? So here's the tea I genuinely love Jeffree Star and I'm digging NikkieTutorials lately LOOK idk I guess because I find makeup to be an art, I like watching that stuff. My YouTube interests have become seriously diverse lately. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Ha ha obviously. What is the best thing about life? Man, that's a loaded question. I suppose having people in it that make it worthwhile and a true privilege to simply be here. What do you think will happen when you die? YO, HONESTLY, I don't know, man. I've even questioned reincarnation lately. I 100% believe we are not hollow bodies meant to just decay after death, but creatures with spirits that live on in SOME form or way afterwards. I don't believe in the concept of a "Hell," but I don't really think I accept there being a true "Heaven," either? I think there's just... something. What, I don't know, but guess I'll figure it out at some point. Are you superstitious? No. What kind of surveys do you like the most? Random ones, especially the ones that make you think. Do you go to church? No. Do you like Christian music? No. I get frustrated from just bad memories/associations. Have you ever skateboarded and failed at it? Never really tried. What show/concert have you went to that you didn’t like much? N/A Is sex a must in your life? Nah. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Lol I was the abstinent one years ago, so obviously I could, because I understand it. What do you think about weed? Medically, it's fantastic. Too much evidence of it being so to argue it anymore. For other use, I feel the same way about it as I do cigarettes: bad idea, but whatever. I personally don't care if it's made legal for recreational use or not, so long as it's treated similarly to alcohol, ex. illegal to drive while high. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? With it being a baby, I'd probably take it to an animal rescue or something. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? I stayed at Dad's for a handful of days. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Yes. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My sister has my initial, anyway. Who did you last see shirtless? My mom. Do you like to make the first move? NONONONONO I'M SHY. Do you think you will ever be married? Probably. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? I don't think she'd be mad, no. Do you understand football? Nope. Who last called you beautiful? Probably Mom. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? We're both female so like- Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? No. Name five things you did today? Stayed at the hospital for my beautiful niece to be born :'), slept far too little after getting home, and that's... kinda it. What kind of phone do you have? It's literally a Tracfone, BUT WAIT! I actually wanted it, ha ha. Mom has one and it is *genuinely* a good phone, so I got one for my birthday. Hell, it's cheaper than paying monthly, so I'm fine with it. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? 5 in the morning when we were all still with Ashley. Do you like fire? Sure, I like watching it. Have you ever been to a spa? Noooo, not my jam. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? No. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? Ehhhhh. When he drank, my dad was either hilarious when drunk or hateful and short-fused as fuck. 50/50 shot. But yeah, if you got Version 1, he'd crack anyone the hell up. Now that he's sober and happy he's always like that. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? Well, I'd say it depends on the picture's context. Like, a picture of you two kissing, then I'd be uncomfortable as shit. If you have prom pictures or stuff like that but don't like go looking through them regularly, idc. It was a special event. What if your partner went through your cellphone? BYE, CUNT. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? BYE, CUNT. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? YES. I can absolutely taste it. Pepsi sucks. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? Stupid and/or impulsive shit I'd said, sure, but for the most part, no. We had a good relationship. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? My mom always is if she's present. I am terrified of vomiting and even at my age still want her there, even though she can't do anything, obviously. I turn into a baby when I'm about to throw up. Background on your computer? My favorite picture of Teddy. Who has hurt you the most? Jason. Or hell, my own head, idk. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? Sure. What language do you want to learn? I wanna be fluent in German. Who’s the last person that came to your house? A family friend. Is there anyone you would like to fight? God no. I'm not a fighter. Who did you dance with last? Sara. Who is your best friend(s)? Sara. Song playing? "It's A Raid" by Ozzy feat. Post Malone. The album's out T O D A Y , B O Y S. Who is your arch-enemy? I don't have one. What's the most attractive thing on the opposite sex? GODDAMN shoulderBLADES Do you want platinum or gold for your wedding band? Not normal gold, I know. Rose gold is my ideal one, but I really don't care much. Have you ever paid to have your eyebrows waxed? I mean my mom has, seeing as I didn't have an income then, either. Got that done regularly in high school. Not because I asked, but because it was just "normal" since my two sisters did it, too. Do you think that the tobacco companies should pay for people’s medical bills? No, it's not their choice to use the product. Sure, they're making it, but it's really too late to cease production of tobacco. It'd be catastrophic in terms of the job industry. Do you curse in average conversations? Yes; I have to actually make an effort to not curse if needed. Have you ever bought a shot glass? No. Do you have a therapist? Not anymore after my previous one that I loved and trusted gave me every reason to break her jaw. I kind of want another one, but also don't. I'm supposed to, considering my history and that I'm on a lot of medication, but I just do nooooot want to go through the whole trust process again. Do you ever fall for spam mail? No. What color do you wear the most? Black. Do you only eat cough drops because you like the taste? No. Have your parents ever walked in on you having sex? No. Do you like getting stoned? I've never been so and aren't interested in ever getting there. Have you ever gotten a bloody nose from snorting cocaine? YOIKES THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY lol no, I wouldn't touch coke with a ten-foot pole. Red, white, yellow, or pink roses? Pink. What’s the worst name your mom has ever called you? I don't know. She hasn't called me anything too awful that I know of. Have you ever done acid? No. Were you at a rave? Never been, definitely not my scene. Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad? Well, I don't hang out with like... anyone, so, lmao. But I wouldn't. Are you friends with any of your exes? Yes. Would you ever dye your hair pink? ACTUALLY! Pastel pink is on my list. I tested some soft colors out in Photoshop on me and it actually looked really cute. I think I wanna be a smaller size first, though. Do you ever masturbate? I haven't since I came off that godawful birth control that drove me batshit insane in terms of libido. I still don't think it's a bad thing, my interest in that is just, gone. Are you embarrassed about your sex life or lack there of? No. Who’s the last person you said I love you to? My sister. Did you like your life when you were in middle school? Actually fuck middle school with a maul. If you went on American Idol, do you think you’d go through to Hollywood? Nope. Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No, I don't think so. What kind of laugh do you have? A loud and obnoxious one. Do you hoard anything? "Hoard" isn't the right word, no. Are you afraid of flying? I am, but I feel it's only a realistic apprehension. Especially going back and forth to Sara's a few times, you kinda have to get used to it. Most recent Facebook ‘like’? Shit man idk, I "like" a load of stuff. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. Do you do anything regularly that could damage your body? Can someone please eliminate soda from the face of the earth???? What do you love most in the world? Those closest to me. What woke you up this morning? Ugh, the sun. I need to put my curtain back up after Roman tore it down. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? My mom. Is anything bothering you? There's always *something* bothering me to some degree, but nothing seriously at the moment. Are you in a good mood? My niece was born overnight and is gorgeous and healthy so I have to be. :') When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you own more than one cell phone? Ha ha, I have two old ones. One I used for pictures because the camera was good, and the most recent old one, I just need to get some pictures and contacts from... but I'm lazy. Have you ever had a song written about you? No. What songs make you happy? Depends on what I'm feeling. Next concert? No clue now that Ozzy had to cancel his, bless his old heart. As a child, did you ever get the chance to go to Disney World/Disneyland? Yes. When was the last time you fought with your significant other, if any? I’m single. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No, thankfully. When was the last time you were on a boat? Where did you travel on it? Not since I went fishing with my old best friend a few years back. We were just in a pond. Are you planning on going anywhere with someone, some time today? Probably not. Do you like cereal? What would you consider your favorite kind of cereal? Hell yeah. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is *maybe* my favorite? Idk, I like a lot. Are there any people you don’t like for your significant other/crush to talk to? This doesn't apply to me, but even if I had one, they're not my damn child. I'm not gonna police whom they talk to. I mean I guess there are exceptions, like, talking to a drug dealer to name one, but talking to most people, that's their business. Just don't hide it from me. Have you ever forgotten your birthday? Did you soon figure it out? No. What color are the curtains in your room if you have any at the moment? Maroon. Is there anyone you are currently trying to get out of trouble? Why? No. Have you ever wanted your significant other to get rid of a friend? Well, calling back to that other question, there was one in a previous relationship that I really couldn't stand, but it wound up working out. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? It's just me and Ma now. Do you ever go to Blockbuster? How frequently would you say you go? WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!! Omg did I love BB. Went like every weekend to rent a game, and sometimes we'd go there Fridays before a sleepover to grab a movie. Do you ever listen to music so you can actually change your emotion? Sure, sometimes.

#survey #quiz #questions #random #bored

4 notes · View notes

sourscotts · 6 years

Text

New

by @sourscotts

Characters: Tyler Posey/Reader

Word Count: 4,488

Warnings: Maybe strong language, mentions of sex, drinking, and sad shit.

Song: New by Daya

Notes: This isn’t my first attempt at writing but it is my first time posting it. Shoutout to @ellebabyy for threatening to kick my ass if I didn’t share it.

You had never been as independent like you had been the past several months. After your breakup with Tyler, you struggled to get back on your feet. You didn’t realize how much you really depended on him until you moved out of his apartment. Although you were now dating someone new, you felt like there was something missing from your life. It’s not like you didn’t know what, or who, it was either. You missed Tyler, more than words can describe. You didn’t think your last fight would lead to the end of your relationship. He wanted to travel the world and you weren’t going to stop him, but it still hurt that he wanted to do it alone.

Tyler’s career had been skyrocketing in his band, PVMNTS. You could honestly say that you were and will always be his number one supporter. He was offered a worldwide tour with the band, and of course, you couldn’t have been more proud of him. When he told you that he would have to leave without you due to the lack of room in the tour bus, your heart fell. He had already spent so much time away from you in order to film his new movies and wrap up Teen Wolf. When you brought it to his attention that you were worried about the distance, he immediately took it as you trying to hold him back to refrain from interacting with his new co-star, Sophia Ali. Although you did sense her ‘more than friendly’ admiration of Tyler, you would never allow your possessiveness get in the way of him accomplishing his dreams. The last thing you wanted was to prevent him from expanding his career, you just missed him. Instead of arguing with him, you did what you thought was best. The two of you agreed to separate until he returned and go from there. He knew you couldn’t wait forever and there was no promise that he’d be returning any time soon. You knew you couldn’t hold him back no matter what that meant. Still, you missed him.

After a few months passed, you decided to broaden your career as well. Right when you felt as if the world had hit rock bottom, your agent called and told you that you might’ve hit the jackpot with a chance of modeling for New York’s very own Fashion Week. You met Ross during this specific occasion, seeing he was one of the photographers for fashion industry event. The two of you seemed to click instantly and after a few weeks of texting back and forth, he took you on an official date. You wanted to say you were happier than ever, that you made the right choice, but it didn’t feel that way deep down. The more you tried to escape Tyler, the more he would suddenly appear. Literally. He was making headlines everywhere: from magazines, to talk shows, even Instagram ads. There was one article in particular that crushed you, “Tyler Posey Dating ‘Truth or Dare’ Co-Star Sophia Ali.” Seeing the genuine smile in the picture of them at Comic Con ate you up inside, knowing it was tradition the two of you used to share. There was nothing left for you to do except be happy with Ross. Simple, right?

Wrong.

♪ When you walk past that park near your apartment now, do you still think about me? Do you still think about me? Do you drive fast when you realize you’re on my street? Do you drive slowly? Do you think about me? ♪

You smiled as you watched the trees pass, your fingers intertwined with Ross’. He laid a gentle kiss on your knuckles and you put your other hand out the window, your hand slowly moving with the wind. You felt free, a feeling you haven’t felt in a while. It was nice to be back home in Santa Monica; it always feels like you never left California when you return.

“I was thinking we could have our picnic here.” Ross interrupted your thoughts, a cheeky smile appearing on his face.

You looked to the direction he was looking and that familiar emptiness returned in the pit of your stomach. Almost in a blink of an eye, you recognized the neighborhood that you were in. You hesitantly looked towards the other direction, seeing your old duplex apartment that you once shared. The thing that surprised you the most was the fact that a moving truck sat outside.

“So, what do you think?” Ross smiled, ready to pull into the lot.

“Ross, baby.” You quickly said, attempting to stop him. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful. It really is. However, do you think we could go some place else? It’s just, I’ve been here before.” You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest for comfort. “There’s way too many bugs.”

“Babe.” He chuckled, giving you a playful glare. “There are bugs at most parks. It’s apart of embracing nature.”

“I know but here it’s like they’re more attracted to you here. It’s not only the bugs but there’s also one too many kids.” You urged. “I want alone time with you.”

A low sigh left his lips and he nodded. “Fine. I know another place we could check out that’s not too far away.”

“Perfect.” You smiled.

He smiled and pulled out of the parking lot again. Your ears twitched when you heard a laugh through your open window. Turning your head away from Ross, you met those warm chocolate eyes you had been trying to avoid. His smile began to fall when his eyes met yours, his eyebrows furrowing. As the actress spoke to him, his eyes remained at the car that was beginning to drive away.

Your body flew back against the seat and you nervously laughed, patting Ross’ thigh. “You drive as slow as a turtle! I want to make it there today.”

He laughed at your actions and stepped on the gas, speeding his way out of the area. Your body turned towards the window again and you let out a shaky breath, preventing the tears from slipping your eyes.

He was moving to God knows where and didn’t dare to mention it to you. You didn’t blame him, though. He was happy in a new relationship, why would he ever think twice about going back to what you had? He didn’t owe you anything anymore. He moved on and you had to do the same.

♪ Thought I could pack up my suitcase and just walk away leave you with all the shit I didn’t want to take my mistake ♪

You looked around the front of the building as your anxiety roared within you. Tyler had texted you, after months of not speaking, asking you to pick up a couple boxes that you missed when you initially moved out. You were actually surprised he still had your number.

You slowly stepped up to the door and gently knocked, closing your eyes. If it were possible, you would’ve preferred for him to simply mail it you. However, he knew you were in town and it was easier for you to pick your things up. So, you had to face him and his glory. Your heart already ached and you hadn’t even faced him yet.

The door opened at the same moment as your eyes and you came face to face with the man your heart had been yearning for the past couple of months. Somehow, he looked a million times more handsome than the last time you two were together. He had a small amount of scruff growing in and his hair was a little longer, the fluffiness going in different directions. Although you were hurt, the pool was dripping between your thighs. It’s so wrong for me to feel this way.

“Hey.” He muttered while leaning against the door-frame. “Uh, come in.” His body moved to the side and the door opened wider, allowing you to slip in.

You silently made your way through the entrance and crossed your arms over your chest, something you did when you were nervous. He left the door opened and led you to the small living room.

“How are you?” He asked, glancing back at you.

You slowly nodded before speaking up, attempting to put on a show. “I’m great, how are you?”

“Never better.” He awkwardly answered, a silence beginning to grow.

You stood in front of him and adverted your gaze from his, your arms still crossed over your chest. He put his hands in his pockets and you glanced around the empty apartment, knowing it was something he did when he was nervous.

“I already packed everything of yours in these two boxes.” He pointed out. “It’s not much but then again, I don’t know what you consider valuable.”

“Yes, you do.” You unknowingly said. “You know almost everything about me... I appreciate you giving me a chance to pick them up, though.”

He slowly nodded and stared at you. “No problem.”

You pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, millions of thoughts running through your head. “How’s everything really going, Ty?” You muttered, actually curious to how he had been doing. You intended to not show any interest in him but this could be your last opportunity having a real conversation with him.

He gave you a weak smile and pulled his hands from his pockets, crossing them over his chest. “I meant it. Everything seems to be going really good so far.” He stated. “My new movie, Truth or Dare, was just released and it’s been doing well. Um...” Your eyes stared into his as you listened to what he had to say, bringing butterflies to his stomach. “I just finished my U.S. tour a couple day ago. We’re thinking of going to the U.K. and maybe pull off some shows out there.”

“That’s amazing.” You commented, a genuine grin coming to your lips. “I’m glad to know that your dreams are coming true.”

He silently nodded at you before asking a question that had been eating at him since you stepped through the door. “What about you? How’s your modeling going? I saw you on the cover of Vogue. Congratulations, you looked fucking awesome in New York.”

“I guess you can say that I hit my big break.” You said, bending down to pick one of the boxes up. He followed your actions and lifted the other, beginning to walk with you towards the door. “Thank you. It was such a life-changing experience and opened new doors for me. I was even able to sign my first contract with LV.”

“No fucking way.” He laughed, shining his white pearly teeth. “That’s impressive, butterfly.”

Your smile fell, hearing the nickname he had given you years ago. It was like a train was suddenly coming towards you and you couldn’t move. You pulled the door open and stepped out, knowing he didn’t notice your change in behavior. Somehow, you were learning to master the fake smiles.

“I may be stepping out of my boundaries.” He trailed off, the hesitation clear in his voice. “Any boyfriends?”

You shook your head softly and swallowed hard, trying to wet your dry throat. “You’re okay.” You whispered. “I’ve been seeing someone for a couple of weeks now. Our 3 month mark is coming up in a few days.”

It looked like for a split second, his eyes had fell with disappointment. Maybe you were reading into too much. He sat the box on the hood of your car as you opened the back seat, sliding both boxes in.

“I’m sorry.” You heard him mumble under his breath, your head turning to meet his eyes.

You looked down at the concrete, closing your eyes again to avoid the tears from escaping. The last thing you needed was for him to see you crying over him.

“Yeah.” You whispered. “Me too, Ty.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He deadpanned. “I should’ve called when I got back. I didn’t keep any of the promises I made.”

“Tyler, stop.” You whispered, looking back up at him. “It’s fine. We’ve both moved on and have something going for ourselves. It’s more than we can say for when we were together.”

Silence seemed to be a common thing between you two seeing that it kept happening. He simply stared into your eyes, seeking the hope he wanted when he originally texted you. Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to read you like he once did. You gave him a weak smile before opening the driver’s door, keeping your eyes on him.

“Maybe in ten years we’ll meet again and you’ll be telling me about your five different children.” You joked. “I wish you nothing but the best with everything. You know that.”

“You know I want nothing but the same for you, Y/N.”

“Good. We’re on the same page.” You nodded. Were you?

“I’m glad.” He whispered, beginning to back away from the car. “I’ll see you, Butterfly.”

“I’ll see you, Ty.” You responded. You took a mental image in your head, remembering what might be your final true love. Neither of you smiled, obviously not wanting to part. You knew what was best for the both of you as did he, and you made the mutual decision to leave again.

You shut the car door once you were seated and pulled out his driveway, avoiding the thought of turning around and running into his arms. Although it’s what you wanted, you knew it couldn’t happen.

♪ I’m in his bed right next to him, but he don’t know I’m just thinking ‘bout you I’m thinking ‘bout you ♪

Your body pressed against the soft fabric and the blanket was gently placed over your chest, covering your naked body. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath, Ross doing the same thing beside you.

You stared at the blank ceiling while a light laugh left his lips. “That was amazing. We should’ve done that sooner.”

Instead of answering him, you stayed silent. His body turned away from you, setting himself in a comfortable position to rest.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said, slowly drifting away into a deep sleep.

You glanced over at the man before slipping out of bed, sliding on your slippers. You picked up the robe that hung from your closet door and placed it on your body, tying a knot to keep it secure.

Your muscles ached from the rough sex Ross managed to pull off. It bothered you that your first time with him wasn’t full of love, but instead it was rough and almost cold. If you were being honest with yourself, you hated every minute of it.

The floor creaked as you walked across it, walking into your personal bathroom. You gently closed the door and clicked the lock, leaning over the sink. Your eyes closed as you listened to the water pour from the faucet while old memories flooding your head. After seeing Tyler on his moving day, he was all that you were able to think about. You could be doing the most simple things yet somehow, your mind would associate him with the task. In this moment in particular, all you could think about your life with Tyler. Sex with him wasn’t just sex. He made love to you in a way that left his touch lingering for days. You would love every second of it. Whether it was the safe feeling you felt with Tyler or the overwhelming amount of love you shared, sex with Ross wasn’t no where near the same. It didn’t feel like love.

You didn’t notice the tears that were streaming down your cheeks and the low sobs leaving your lips. It came to your attention when you were suddenly gasping for air and instead of fighting it, you slid down the bathroom wall. You decided to let yourself quietly feel your heartbreak and grief of your previous relationship.

Why? Why couldn’t you get him out of your mind? Especially now out of all moments.

♪ When it’s 3 AM and I’m at that diner with his friends I ain't thinking ‘bout them I’m just thinking ‘bout you ♪

You watched the group of friends laugh in their alcoholic state. Ross invited you to a party with some of his close friends and although you really just wanted to cuddle up in your blanket to watch Netflix, you decided to go. It was another step in your relationship. He wanted you to meet his friends that meant the world to him.

Josh threw a fry at you, laughing at your seriousness. “Y/N, you’re no where near as drunk as us.”

You smiled at took a sip of your favorite flavored milkshake, shrugging your shoulders lightly. The five of you were gathered around in a small booth at a local 24 hour diner. So far, you had finally remembered everyone’s names. There was Jenny the Techy, who was completely obsessive over computer science. She was majoring in it to become some type of software developer. Beside her was the guy they called Alexander the Great, mostly being known for his insane skateboard tricks. He was also the one who tended to take the most risks, probably carrying over a thousand DUIs. Finally, the J power couple: Joshua and Jean. Josh was in school to be a detective, wanting nothing more than to solve his father’s murder. Although he explained his dark side to you, he was one of the most energetic people you had ever met. His humor was dark but in a good way. Another thing about him was that he was completely absorbed around Jean. Jean was the Daphne Blake of the group with her girly and outgoing personality. She obviously came from a higher class but honestly, she seemed extremely humble.

Finally, there was Ross. He was the softest blonde in existence. His heart was more than a sweetheart, which is probably what attracted you. He had a little piece of everyone in the group except it turned into one loving person. They were all different in their own way but you loved the diversity. Maybe this wasn’t going to be too terrible after all.

After splitting the bill, you watched as they stumbled out the diner. Ross was balancing his weight on the balls on his feet while keeping an arm around your shoulders, just in case. You laughed when Alex ran in the middle of the road, flicking off the cars that honked at him. Somehow, you all managed to make it across the street without getting ran over.

Alex passed around a bottle before pulling out his phone. “We need some music... and a pack of smokes.”

Everyone cheered in agreement until the music began playing. Your eyes turned back towards the diner, noticing the print that was planted on the sign. It was an outline of a butterfly. Your eyebrows furrowed when you snapped back to reality, realizing the song that was playing. That familiar voice was blasting from the small speaker and that feeling returned. The feeling that you were missing something.

Your mind drifted away when your eyes met the butterfly again, picturing the Hispanic man. The two of you would always sneak away to diners late at night after you were with friends, taking the chance to have your deep talks. You would have a novel if you listed the different topics the two of you talked about, it was an endless amount of stories when you two were together. He would tell you everything from his childhood to his favorite TV shows and you would do the same with him. You lifted your fingers to your lips, remembering how he pressed his lips against yours for the first time. It was after your first date at a diner and he was dropping you off at home. You had shared a shake and spoke for hours, similar to tonight.

“Babe.” Ross called, causing you to snap your head towards him. “Let’s catch an Uber back to my place. I’m exhausted.”

You slowly nodded and watched him carefully as he drunkenly made his way down the sidewalk.

“Hey, Y/N.” Jenny mumbled, the four friends watching you carefully. “Take care of Ross for us. He’s been hurt one too many times.”

It could’ve been the alcohol in your system that made you think the way you did, but now you were just filled with one feeling. Guilt.

♪ I’m missing you I’m missing you. What the hell did I do — did I do? Messing with someone new, thinking I wanted to, turns out don’t want new. I want you ♪

“You’re breaking up with me?” You whispered, holding your knees to your chest. Ross sat across from you on the couch, his eyes staring into yours. His thumb was caressing your knee and he let out a sigh, nodding.

“I just don’t think...” He trailed off, looking down at your legs. “I don’t think you’re ready to be a relationship, Y/N.”

“Ross.” You muttered, shaking your head lightly at him. “That’s not true. I thought we were happy.”

“Come on, Y/N. Even you know that’s not true.” He disagreed. “I don’t think we’ve been happy since this relationship started. We both have a little growing to do still, especially since our last relationships.”

“What are you saying?” You asked, your face scrunching up in confusion.

“I love you.” He said making you feel lightheaded. You took in a sharp breath before he continued. “I love you but you love him.”

Your face fell and you felt your face begin to heat up, the sadness filling every inch of your body. He knew this entire time and didn’t say anything while you put him through that pain. Tears were beginning to form in your eyes and you looked back into his eyes.

He shook his head at you and took your hands, holding them in his. “It’s alright.” He whispered. “I thought I would be pissed when I finally pieced everything together, but I’m not. Y/N, you deserve all the happiness that comes your way. If being with me isn’t it, I understand. It fucking hurts, yeah.” His hand came in contact with your cheek, wiping away the stray tear. “But I’d rather see you happy more than anything.”

“I don’t deserve you.” You spoke, your voice shaky. “You are so special, Ross. I just want you to find someone that can love you as hard as you love because when you do, they’re going to be the luckiest person in the world.”

He weakly smiled at your words before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’ll always be your friend but I don’t think we’re meant to be romantically involved. But, I need you to do something for me.”

You quickly nodded with no hesitation. “Anything.”

“Go to him, sweetheart.” He stood to his feet and grabbed his jacket, his eyes never leaving your frail condition. “If he’s your happiness, you need to go fight for him before it’s too late.”

“What if I’m already past that?” You croaked, your eyes covered in a gloss.

“You’ll never know until you try.” He answered then turned on his heel. He made his way towards the front door, giving you one last glance before walking out your apartment.

It was a coincidence that in that exact moment, your phone dinged from the coffee table. You leaned forward to look at the text you received.

TYLER: Ross got in touch with me and explained what happened. Can I come over?

♪ Don’t want new, I want you ♪

Your heart fluttered when you saw the headlights pulling into your driveway from the window. After texting Tyler your address, he had finally made it. You stood to your feet and fixed your shorts, readjusting the hoodie that was placed over your body. Instead of patiently waiting for him to walk up to the door, you found yourself opening it. He looked at you from the other side, his hazy eyes meeting yours.

“Hi.” He simply said.

“Hey.” You said back. “Come in.” You walked back into your living room, hearing the door shut behind you. He removed his wet shoes from his feet, his clothes drenched from the rain. You walked towards your staircase and signaled for him to follow.

“Follow me.” You whispered. “I have some of my brother’s clothes you can change into.”

He nodded and quietly followed you, stepping into your bedroom. You walked to your closet and grabbed the extra clothing, guiding him to your bathroom. The silence between you two wasn’t awkward this time, it was calming.

You handed the clothes over to him and met his eyes again, seeing how he was already staring at you. Before you could speak, he decided to take the initiative.

“We broke up.” He stated. “I know that it’s a little soon and it might not be the thing you want to hear right now, but I needed to tell you.”

You slowly nodded, suddenly feeling the butterflies in your stomach. He needed to tell you. “Are you okay?” You asked him, the concern in your eyes.

“Yeah, I am.” He nodded back. “It was a while ago, um...” He walked into the bathroom and removed his damp shirt. “She thought I wasn’t ready for a relationship.”

You furrowed your eyebrows and followed him into the bathroom, watching his face through the mirror. Your sleeves passed your hands and your arms crossed over your chest. “How come?”

“Because” He stopped his actions, staring straight into your eyes from the mirror.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

His body turned to face you, seeing your stunned reaction. He was going through everything you had been experiencing, maybe even worse. His girlfriend noticed long before Ross did. Your eyes searched his, seeing the pain hidden behind them. He glanced at your lips and you gulped, your body begin to crave him.

You launched yourself into his arms, your lips crashing into his pink ones. He immediately reacted by moving his against yours into a passionate kiss, his hands sneaking around your body. Just like that, that emptiness vanished.

♪ Thought I’d be better without you I can’t stop thinking about you Now I’m with someone new I want you ♪

He gently laid your body flat on the bed and you pulled him down, meeting his warm lips again. You shared a fiery kiss and mewled at the way he caressed your thighs. Neither of you cared at how your noses bumped and teeth continuously clashed, you just wanted him. His kisses were beginning to trail down your body and you arched your back into his chest.

The two of you had gone too long without each other, you were starving for his touch. The feeling was mutual but he wasn’t going to rush it, knowing you had all night. In fact, he knew the two of you had the rest of his lives for this. He wasn’t planning on ever leaving you again.

“Ty.” You mewled into his ear, your legs tightening around his body. “Please.”

He smiled against your stomach and continued his actions, granting your wishes.

♪ Messing with someone new, thinking I wanted to, turns out don’t want new ♪

You clawed at Tyler’s back, the ecstasy filling your veins. His hands roamed your body but never did his actions stop. At one point, you were almost positive that the neighbors heard your screams by now.

It was everything you needed and more. The passion was coiling in your stomach and you moaned at the familiar feeling that only he gave you.

“Tyler.” You blurted out, your hands tangling in his hair.

“Go ahead, butterfly.” He answered, enveloping your lips into another kiss. “Let go.”

And so you did.

♪ I want you ♪

#tyler posey #scott mccall #tyler #tyler posey x reader #tyler x reader #this is tras #don't judge me #currently crying #tyler posey fanfiction #god save me #fanfic #fanfiction #teen wolf #posey #tyler posey smut #screaming

37 notes · View notes

httpdabi · 6 years

Text

Hate me, Date me

Word count: 6.8K

Characters: Wonho x OC

Genres: Romance, comedy, smut

Warnings: 18+, rough sex, spanking, choking, anal sex, public sex, daddy kink

Hoseok was always the person I hated the most, but once he accidentally found out what my kinks are, our terms drastically changed.

Arguin was my profession, you tell me one word and I’ll tell you two. It’s like that since I was a child, starting with my parents, but it never ended so well. I was always ending up with a slap from my mother and scream like HOW DARE YOU and then she would scream on my father to scream on me and yeah, ta daaa show time.

But my parents weren’t the problem for me, oh not at all, those were just small family fights. The problems started with high school, when a fresh ignorant new teacher got a job, she was just a perfect preview of a youngster that got a job because of some connections. Well, since math wasn’t my stronger side, I often decided to cheat on exams and it actually went very well until she saw it and yeah, a big fat FAIL happened. I couldn’t keep my words to myself, so I was shooting arguments at her every class and so, guess who failed again and again ?

But not even that was a huge problem for me.

My biggest problem was and will always be, Shin Hoseok.

Maybe you wonder why.. but don’t worry. I’ll explain everything.

My first day in school, I was so happy and excited to start with school, I always thought that school is one beautiful heaven on earth. Yes, stupido from childhood, till today.

From the very first moment I got in the school, my vision of heaven turned to hell, when I saw that the neighbor who was always taking my doll from me, was going to the very same school. Bullying from the very first second, taking my sweets and food away from me, throwing paper balls on me, taking my supplies and so on. Shin Hoseok managed to do all of that. Every break, he bullied me. What made the things even worse was the fact that our parents were actually really good to each other, so it was a win-win situation for him.

Of course we were children, so I shouldn’t mind that. Years passed, things changed. I learned to stand for myself and I learnt how to argue everyone and put everyone, who was irritating me or getting on my way, down. In high school things drastically changed and somehow I was one of the popular girls in there. Not too popular, but everyone knew about me and I actually had a lot of friends.

But some things never change and in this case the so called thing is Hoseok. What I hated the most was that nothing could stop him from doing it, not even my arguments or anything on this world.

Even if everyone was fine with me, Hoseok never stopped bullying me. We didn’t go to the same school back then, but every time he saw me outside he would come to me and bully me, cracking some sick perverted jokes trying to make his friends laugh or something.

BUT, of course we were teenagers, puberty was hitting him hard.

Now, we are university students, my first and his last year. The normal excuse of him being an asshole to me can’t be found.

,, Breakfast is readyyyy’’ I heard my mother screaming, probably thinking that I was asleep, while I was just scrolling down on my instagram. I slowly stood up and made my way downstairs, hoping that she wont brag about how long I sleep, how there is always so much work and no one is helping her at all.

,, Eat fast and go with your father in shop, we need a lot of stuff for tonight’’ my mother said reminding me on the tonight’s bbq they were planning to make. I honestly never cared so much about it because it’s always the same. They always call close friends and mans are outside working on meat and womens are inside gossiping. At the end when the meat is done they would all get inside and eat and drink wine together.

My mother was making a list for me and my father, while I was choking myself with a toast, trying to put the whole toast in my mouth and my father was looking at me in disbelief. When I couldn’t eat anymore, I cleaned everything up and made my way to my room to change fast.

,, Hurry up, we don’t have so much time’’ I heard my dad yelling from the hallway, so I just wore my grey hoodie and put my hair in messy bun. The whole ride was just casual, I was trying to hit high notes and my father was rolling his eyes every second.

Shop wasn’t so far away from our home, so my solo concert didn’t last so long sadly.

,, You can grab the snacks and fruits and I will go buy the meat and drinks. ‘’ my father said and I nodded my head in agreement.

,, Good morning Mr. Park, hey Miryo’’ I heard the very familiar voice coming from some direction making me shiver immediately. My blood was boiling, he was acting so nice in front of my father.

,, Oh hey Hoseok, what brings you so early here ?’’ my father asked him friendly since he doesn’t see Hoseok in grocery shopping so oft, while I only ignored him

,, My mother needs some stuff for lunch, so she sent me early to buy it all’’ he said and smiled lightly.

,, Okay, tell them to be at our place before everyone else arrives.’’ My father said and smiled back at Hoseok.

,, Of course, see ya later Mr. Park. Bye’’ he said and made his way to pasta section leaving me and my father alone there. Of course they will be there, our first and best neighbors.

,, I don’t understand why do you hate this guy. Such a nice kid’’ my father said shaking his head and he made his way to buy the meat.

I stood there totally pissed off, wanting to go there to him and break his fucking neck. But somehow I managed to calm down and I just went to pick the snacks for tonight. Most of the time I was picking snacks for myself, because I planned to make a movie night. Then I took some snacks that were on list.

,, Oww’’ I yelped in pain and surprise when something hit my head. I turned around and saw Hoseok laughing at me. That fucker just threw a fucking pack of backing powder on me.

I just ignored him and made my way to fruits, I didn’t want to make any scene while my father was still somewhere in the store.

,, Do you want to tickle my pickle ?’’I heard his deep voice once again, only this time extremely close to my ear. I turned around and pushed him away, while he just started to laugh out loud with a cucumber in his hand.

,, Or you rather want to have my seeds?’’ he said taking the sunflower seeds in his hand.

,, You are so fucking disgusting’’ I said putting some bananas in my bag. He started to laugh once again, I don’t know how did I manage to stay calm and not to take that freaking cucumber and choke him with it.

Hoseok was trying to make some more jokes, but I just ignored him and found my father before we went and paid our stuf. Once again, Hoseok greeted us and waved us goodbye and then we separated our ways.

My father noticed how pissed off I was, so he just let me be.

I didn’t have to do much about the bbq, usually my parents spend time preparing the meat and salad and everything, my work is only to bring the plates and bread outside. After that, I just eat and let them be. I mean, what else do I have to do ? Chit chat with my parent’s friends ? hell to the no.

What I hate the most is when some of their friends brings their child and I have to babysit them. I HATE IT and then the child is jumping on my head wanting to do something and play

Shut up and paint on the paper I gave you

What do they think that I am a toy industry ? ugh

When they all arrived, I wasn’t surprised to see that Hoseok wasn’t there, he usually says he’ll come if my parents ask and then he uses some lame ass excuse, but I like it that way. I don’t need him around eating my food and being annoying as always

I made sure I was full, I told my mother that I’m going inside and that she can call me if someone needs something. So, before going to my room I went in kitchen to get some water, I put some cucumbers, lemons, lime and mint leaves in my water thinking it was fancy to take a photo and post it on insta. Yes, I’m that kind of freak

Taking some snacks I went upstairs and lied down on my bed, looking for some movie on Netflix. It was always hard to find something since I almost watched everything good there. But most of the time, I just let some movie play in the background and then I am on my phone.

Since I didn’t have anything to do, I turned on my laptop and started surfing on my tumblr. Tumblr and twitter were like my two secret worlds. One for fangirling and another one for all my kinks.

I lied down on my stomach and started looking for some smut on tumblr, it was a long time since I found some good smut and it was about time for me to find one.

,, Mom, I think I told you about knocking before getting in’’ I said closing my laptop without turning it off.

,, You got a fucking salad in your water’’

I turned around and saw Hoseok standing there with his arms crossed on his chest. He was half smirking and just in second my mood changed, from calmed down I felt like I could jump and slap this bitch in half.

,, The fuck you doing here?’’ I hissed as I sat on my bed.

,, Your mother told me to come here’’ He said not moving a inch or changing his expression.

,, Why did you even come?’’ I said as I stood up.

,, Your parents invited me, remember?’’ he said as he sat on my bed comfortably.

,, I think that you know very well that you are not welcome here, especially here in my room. ‘’ I said standing up.

,, Just get lost’’ I said pointing on the door. Hoseok was about to say something but then I heard my mother calling my name.

,, I’m not done’’ I said and I made my way downstairs.

,, Did you ask Hoseok what will he drink ? Bring some snacks upstairs’’ My mom said nicely. I never understood how could they like a person who is bullying their daughter ? They were seriously sucking his act up, believing that it’s his random behavior.

I nodded my head lying and went back to get him finally out of my room somehow. At my surprise I found Hoseok lying on my bed with my laptop on his lap.

,, What are you doing ? Give me that ‘’ I screamed on him and grabbed my laptop from him. Hoseok looked unbothered, only having a smirk on his face.

,, How did you get in?’’ I hissed on him when I realized that he was literally scrolling on my tumblr.

,, You didn’t even turn off your laptop, you dumbass’’ he said as he made himself comfortable on my bed. Just for a second I prayed that he didn’t find anything on my tumblr.

,, So, Netflix and chill?’’ he asked me and he placed his hands under his head.

,, Try again’’ I hissed.

,, Imax and climax ? Amazon prime and sexy time ?’’ he said with a smirk on his face.

,, More like pornhub and cry yourself to sleep’’ I said and turned off the tv, giving him a sign that he won’t do shit here and that it’s time for him to leave.

,, Come on, don’t be a bad girl, daddy will have to punish you’’ he said and he stood up. I froze when he said that, if he saw that daddy kink shit on my tumblr, how much did he see then ?

,, get out ‘’ I said again seriously, I wanted to burry myself alive, I felt so ashamed. How could I be so reckless and not turn off my laptop whit him in my room.

,, Well anyway, you gotta find yourself another daddy, I already have a girlfriend and she is my world’’ he said nodding his head.

,, This is your fourth ‘world’ in one month, are you building a solar system?’’ I asked him sarcastically. I was trying to act it cool, like it didn’t bother me that he actually saw it.

,, Anyway, it’ time for you to leave, go to your world’’ I said as I opened the door for him. He just nodded his head and he got out of the room.

,, Don’t wanna interrupt your evening smut time’’ he said before I just closed the door in front of his face.

I felt so lost, I didn’t know what to do all of sudden, Hoseok bullying me wasn’t something I couldn’t deal with, but now when he knows something I kept as a secret form everyone, it could turn even worse.

Next few days I was trying to avoid Hoseok as much as possible. Of course he didn’t give a shit and every time I would pass by, he would call me some weird names and crack some jokes as usual. But what surprised me, he didn’t crack some daddy jokes in front of everyone and honestly I didn’t expect that. He only sometimes got to me when I was alone to ask me if I found myself a daddy and so.

It was Thursday my parents told me that they bought some cheap tickets for Paris and that I will be alone few days, and honestly I couldn’t hide how happy I was. Not that my parents bother me, but I really liked having freedom and whole house for myself.

I was planning to be lazy on Friday, just to ready fanfictions and so, but of course my best friend Daehyun had some other plans for me. She wanted us to go on some house party, but how she explained, it won’t really be a house party, only few people. So in short, a small house party.

Honestly, I didn’t want to go at all, but looking at her so disappointed and sad, not willing to go alone changed my mind.

I didn’t want to wear anything special, so I wore my black skirt, pastel pink shirt and I took one simple choker.

On our way to the house, Daehyun told me that there will be some people I know and of course her long time crush Jooheon will also be there.

And she was right, I did know almost everyone there and even tho I expected a boring night, I actually had fun, we were drinking and joking all the time and since there weren’t so many people, the atmosphere was really cool.

,, Hoseok my man’’ Hyungwon yelled jumping form his place.

,, Oh, oh, look what we got here’’ I heard Hoseok saying and I knew immediately that he was talking to me.

,, You again’’ I said already annoyed by his present.

,, you attract what you fear’’ Hoseok said as he sat on the sofa beside Shownu.

,, Well, I’m so scared of 10 Billion €, but I don’t see them anywhere around’’ I said and Daehyun slapped my arm lightly while holding back her laughter, hoping I will stop arguing with Hoseok. I didn’t want to ruin the night so I just ignored his reply and continued drinking.

I didn’t have any plan in getting drunk, but me and Hyungwon were drinking way too fast and in very short time we were getting tipsy.

,, We should do something ‘’ Jooheon said as he took a sip of his drink.

,, Why don’t we play 7 minutes in heaven ?’’ Minhyuk said and everyone else cheered. I wasn’t so excited about it, but I also didn’t give a fuck since I was kind of drunk.

Minhyuk took a bottle and started spinning it, the first couple the bottle picked were Haera and Changkyun. They weren’t shy or anything, they immediately stood up and went in another room.

I took a sip from my drink and leaned back in sofa. Hyungwon placed his one arm around me and I could feel him rubbing his hand on my thigh. We were usually so close, so no one didn’t mind us.

After short time, Changkyun and Haera came back and the next couple to go were Daehyun and Jooheon, and of course it ended like that because Minhyup spin the bottle so lightly so it just had to end up on Daehyun.

I could notice that she was a little bit uncomfortable, but not that much to back off. Being honest, I didn’t expect that much will happen in another room, but once they were back, you could definitely see that they had some wild season in there.

,, No way, I’m not doing it’’ I said looking Hoseok directly in eyes. I couldn’t believe that we were the next couple and that no one didn’t want to change a thing even if they all knew that we hate each other.

,, You gotta be drunk off your ass if you think that I’m going to do it with this pompous dickhead’’ I added fast.

,, Of course you are not doing it, you are a coward’’ Hoseok smirked as he stood up, ready to go in another room.

,, Come on, don’t act like that’’ Hyungwon said tapping my ass a little bit as I stood up. Coward? I wasn’t a coward for sure and that dickhead didn’t have any right to hurt my pride.

I took a shot of tequila and made my way toward the room, not saying anything anymore and since I could hear others whistling, I knew that Hoseok followed me immediately.

Just when I was about to turn on the light, I was pushed against the wall and my hands were pinned above my head.

,, You are really playing a game with me ‘’ Hoseok whispered. I knew that his face was really close to mine, because of his breathing.

,, Why ? Did I do something wrong ?’’ I asked, I wanted to push him away, but my pride didn’t let it happen, I wanted to show him that I’m not a coward and that I can also win in this game.

,, You are trying the whole night to embarrass me, plus, letting Hyungwon touch you in front of everyone. Daddy doesn’t like that’’ Hoseok said using my weak spot.

,, I’m sorry daddy’’ I simply said and I could feel that Hoseok was taken aback, he probably thought that I would freak out, but since I was already drunk and I didn’t want to back off and be the coward he called me.

,, Fuck’’ he hissed and just in second I felt his lips on mine. He pushed me up, making me wrap my legs around him and his hands were on my butt squeezing it roughly.

I pulled my head back, leaning it on the wall and Hoseok took that as opportunity and attacked my neck immediately, making me moan quietly.

Hoseok was about to kiss me again but someone was knocking on the door giving us a sign that those 7 minutes are done.

,, Get away from me you freak’’ I said going back to my old self somehow, Hoseok looked at me surprised and he was about to say something but I was already out making my way back to others.

,, And ?’’ Hyungwon asked me wiggling his eyebrows.

,, Nothing’’ I said and sat beside him again, taking one shot of tequila.

,, Nothing ? You went in room without any marks on your neck and now you are having one’’ he said and I almost choked on my drink. I totally forgot that he was kissing my neck. I looked at Hoseok and he just smirked at me.

,, I need some water’’ I said to Hyungwon trying to avoid the topic and honestly I really needed some water, choking on drink strong as tequila isn’t something nice.

,, You and your water’’ Hyungwon said rolling his eyes at me. I could notice that Hoseok’s attention was all on us, not giving a shit who was next to go in the room anymore.

,, I’m a slut for water, an h2hoe if you want’’ I said making Hyungwon laugh a little bit.

,, Go, go, I’ll make you another cocktail, tequila is hitting you way too much’’ Hyungwon said still laughing and I just ignored his comment and went to kitchen to drink some water.

I took one cigarette, giving myself a little bit time away from others. I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened inside the room. Every time I had sex with someone it was vanilla, even tho I always liked kinky stuff, but I never trusted someone so much to ask for more. And there was Hoseok.. we didn’t even do much, it was only a small make out season, but he was so dominant, so rough.

When I was done I made my way back and thanks god Hyungwon was already done with my cocktail. I was already totally drunk and drinking the cocktail he made for me wasn’t such a great idea, but I did it anyway.

,, Are you alright ?’’ Hyungwon asked me when I finished the drink.

,, Si, esta bien’’ I said and lied on the sofa totally done. I didn’t feel like vomiting, but damn galileo was right, the earth is really turning around.

,, You are so drunk’’ Hyungwon said, smiling at me. He looked at Daehyun, but he saw that she was drunk as much as I was, if not even more.

,, Let’s get you home’’ Hyungwon said rubbing my back lightly, I just nodded my head and tried to stand up somehow.

,, I can get her home, we are neighbors anyway.’’ Hoseok said with serious look at his face.

,, I am going home right now anyway, no need to go earlier because of it’’ Hyungwon said with serious look too and honestly I didn’t understand shit, I just wanted to go home.

,, Well I’m going home too, so it’s alright’’ Hoseok said and smiled a little bit.

,, Okay then.’’ Hyungwon said, placing his arm around me helping me walk a little bit.

,, We are leaving then’’ Hoseok said while Hyungwon was helping me wear my nike shoes. We made our way toward Hoseok’s car and Hyungwon opened the door making me sit in the back.

I immediately made myself comfortable and lied down, while Hyungwon was greeting Hoseok. He told me to text him when I arrive and then he closed the door and went to his car.

The ride was weirdly so silent, none of us talked until he hit his brakes.

,,The fuck are you doing ? Who gave you the driving licence ?’’

,, There was some animal on road’’ He simply said before driving normally again.

,, Oh sure, I would also say that’’ I hissed on him.

,, After all why did you stop Hyungwon to drive me home, you are not sober’’ I added being mad without any actual reason.

,, Can’t you just shut up and be grateful? I am nice enough to drive you home and after all Hyungwon is also drunk as fuck, what makes you think he would drive better then me ?’’ he was talking madly fast, I guess I was pissing him off slowly.

,, You think being nice one will make up for all the year you bullied me ?’’ I hissed once again.

,, I’m not bullying you, you just can’t take a joke’’ he said.

,, Guess we don’t have same sense of humor ‘’ I said slowly. I didn’t even realize that Hoseok parked his car somewhere, until he managed somehow to get from front seat to the back.

It happened fast, in just one second Hoseok was hovering over me while I was trying to get away from him.

,, What do you think you are doing ?’’ I yelled at him trying to push him away. But it wasn’t so successful, he took my wrists with his hand and he placed his one leg over mine, stopping all my moves. He was heavy and strong, I wasn’t able to do shit anymore.

,, You are always making it always so hard for me’’ he said and I just gave him one confusing look, honestly I didn’t understand him at all.

,, The way you always fight back makes me like you more and more’’ he said making his grip around my hands stronger.

,, I tried billion times talking normally with you, but you always pushed me away. Your answers makes you bigger bully then me’’ he said and smirked.

,, You never tried to talk to me normally, all you ever did was just trying to embarrass me and make fun of me.’’ I said trying to calm myself a little bit, but it was so hard with him over me.

,, Because you always saw me like I was nothing, like I’m some piece of shit. That was the only way you kept your attention on me and pay you back ‘’

,, Because you are piece of shit’’ I hissed and all of sudden Hoseok’s hand was grabbing my hair and pulling it harshly, making me yelp in pain.

,, See, you are literally asking for it.’’ He said gripping my hair stronger. ,, You’ve been a bad girl the whole time, I think it’s time for daddy to punish you’’ he added.

I would lie if I say that I wasn’t turned on, with him on top of me, being all that dominant, I was probably already wet. Maybe if I was sober, I would push him away, but after he told me that he actually likes me and with him calling himself daddy, it was impossible.

,, Let me show you how much I care about you’’ he said as his let my hair and he slowly placed his thumb on my lips, slowly pulling it down along my bottom lip.

,, Open your mouth babe’’ he said, I don’t know what took over me, alcohol or Hoseok’s dominance, but I did open my mouth making him smirk a little bit. I don’t know what did I expect when he placed two fingers inside my mouth.

,, Suck’’ he simply said, playing with my tongue and it took me a second before I did as I was told. I closed my lips and started sucking his fingers , without breaking the eye contact with him. His smirk was now gone and I could see that his eyes were getting darker. Hoseok’s another hand let go of my wrists and he pulled the part of my hair behind my ear before he started moving his finger in and out of my mouth, literally finger fucking my mouth.

,, Good girl’’ he said as he pulled his fingers out of my mouth.

Hoseok changed his position, allowing me to put my legs around him and then he slowly gave me a small peck on my lips. I thought it was sweet for a second, but then he grabbed my chin making giving me a sign to open my mouth again, then he kissed me roughly, he slipped his tongue inside my mouth and deepened the kiss.

While sucking the air out of me, his hands were all over my body, pushing my shirt up and squeezing my boob with his right hand. I moaned into the kiss and he shortly pulled away smirking, before he attacked my neck.

,, They know whit whom you went home’’ Hoseok breathed while kissing my neck, leaving wet marks on it.

,, So?’’ I moaned, when he pushed my bra up and pinched my nipple roughly.

,, They’ll know now to whom you belong’’ he said while kissing and biting my neck.

,, I don’t care’’ I breathed out while Hoseok was making his way down, kissing my chest, leaving marks all the times.

Hoseok got up, checking me out while breathing heavily. He slowly took my skirt and pushed it up, he placed his hand on my tight and slowly rubbed it one time before his hand made its way toward my clothed pussy.

He slowly started to rub his index finger up and down my clit, while staring at me. I just threw my head back and moaned quietly, wanting more and more.

,, You want daddy to make you feel good ?’’ He asked me, still rubbing my pussy very slow, only this time doing circular moves.

,, Yes daddy’’ I said, holding back my moans.

,, Beg for it babe’’ he said and his fingers stopped moving.

,, Please daddy’’ I begged without hesitation.

,, Good girl’’ he said and he pulled my panties to the side. ,, You are so wet for me’’ he mumbled, before he spread the wetness all over my core with the help of his fingers before he slammed two fingers inside my core, moving them fast and rough. He was pulling his fingers out and slamming them harshly back in all over again.

Then he suddenly stopped, making me whine because of the empty feeling. Hoseok didn’t waste any time, he pulled my black panties down and positioned himself between my legs. I could feel his hot breath and then without any word or warning, he pressed his tongue against my slit, licking it and sucking it aggressively.

I moaned loudly and grabbed his head as he gave my core one long and pleasurable lick. Hoseok’s one hand reached for my breast, squeezing it roughly while his tongue continued to pleasure me.

I let out a loud moan when he suddenly inserted his two fingers inside my core again thrusting them faster and deeper then before while his tongue continued flicking my clit. I started moving my hips trying to get more of him, but he placed his hands on my hips stopping me from doing anything.

He curled his finger upwards hitting my g-spot while his tongue continued assaulting on my clit, flicking it fast.

,, I could do this all day’’ Hoseok said adding third finger. He didn’t wait for me to adjust or anything, he immediately started to slam this fingers in and out incredibly fast, curling them sometimes, making me moan loudly.

Hoseok moaned too and the vibrations shoot my body up, cursing through my veins as he sucked harshly on my clit.

,, Oh God’’ I moaned loudly as I released on his tongue. He licked me fast, collecting all my wetness. He slowly pulled his fingers out and smirked at me while squeezing my thighs as I tried to come to myself after the strong orgasm.

He sat beside me and pulled me up, before giving me one sloppy kiss.

,, Now be a good girl and suck daddy off’’ he said rubbing my neck gently. I didn’t have to pull his pants down, he already did it on his own. His hand was around his dick, which was painfully hard.

He didn’t need to tell me twice, I positioned myself lower and placed the tip of his dick inside my mouth while he was jerking himself off. He moaned loudly and let go of his dick, letting me do the work.

I took as much as I could, until I felt his tip hit where my throat started. I started bobbing my head up and down, while my hand was pumping the rest of his length that I couldn’t fit easily in my mouth.

Hoseok slowly placed a strand of my hair behind my ear and for a moment I thought that was really cute of him, until he gathered my hair into a ponytail and grabbed a hold of it, pulled it down making me take every inch of his dick in my mouth.

I was literally choking on his dick and he just moaned loudly. He let go of my head for a second, letting me get some air before he placed his hands back and held my head still, while moving his hips up and down, fucking my mouth.

,, Babygirl, you take my dick so well’’ he moaned while thrust in my mouth, making me start to deep throat him. Hoseok was getting louder and then with one deep thrust I could feel thick ropes of cum being shot down my throat

,, Swallow it’’ Hoseok said as he took his length out of my mouth. I nodded my head and did as he told me, then I opened my mouth and pulled my tongue out, showing him that I swallowed it all.

,, Good girl’’ he said slowly patting my head. He pulled me up and lied me down on the back seat, slowly taking of my skirt and telling me to take off my shirt for him.

Once we were completely naked, he hovered over me once again and started rubbing his cock on my pussy, teasing me.

,, Now listen babygril, you can scream and try to push me away as much as you want, but I’m not stopping.’’ He said while still rubbing his dick over my clit and core.

,, I’m going to fuck you however I want until you pass out. But don’t think that I’ll be done with you, you’ll wake up with my face between your thighs ready to fuck you again and again’’ he said and then he roughly he pushed his whole dick inside me.

Hoseok had absolutely no mercy, he was pounding into me like no one ever before, repeatedly hitting my g-spot. I arched my back and moaned loudly, I couldn’t control my moans at all.

,, Oh God, daddy’’ I moaned while Hoseok was rocking his hips, getting deeper and deeper.

,, You like having daddy’s cock inside ?’’ He asked and he placed his hand around my neck, squeezing it before thrusting back in me.

,, Yes’’ I cried out somehow, fighting for air as he kept ramming in and out of me at a super fast pace.

,, Tell me, who’s your daddy’’ he commanded as he held my chin tighter while fucking me roughly.

,, You. You are my daddy, Hoseok’’ I breathed out. Hoseok’s fingers grip a little tighter around my neck and I opened my mouth as he pushed himself deep inside me looking into my face.

His moves were getting stronger and deeper and his grip was getting tighter. He didn’t have any mercy at all, I wasn’t even sure if he liked me or if it was some hate fuck, getting out on me for all these years. But I didn’t mind, I loved every bit of it.

Hoseok’s let go of my neck, giving me a chance to breath normally, but he didn’t stop moving fast, he didn’t stop, not even for a second.

,, I’m so close’’ he moaned while his hand got back around my neck. ,, Daddy’s gonna cum inside you’’ he added and that was it, I couldn’t hold it anymore with his hand on my neck and his dick tearing my pussy apart. He didn’t stop fucking me fast until he finally came, then he pulled slowly out of me and pushed it all back in roughly filling my core with his sperm.

We were both breathing heavily trying to come to ourselves. When I was somehow alright, I tried to grab my bra under the seat, but at my surprise Hoseok stopped me.

,, You think I’m done with you?’’ He hissed as he grabbed my hand stopping me. He sat beside me, while I was still lying on my back, breathing heavily.

,, Touch yourself’’ he simply said, his voice was so deep and every time he told me to do something, I did it without thinking twice. He sounded just so dangerous and it turned me on even more.

I slowly started to play with my self, spreading our sperm all over my pussy. Our mixed sperm made me much wetter then I already was and once I started fingering myself there was a sound that obviously drove Hoseok crazy. He was jerking himself off while looking at me, his breathing even heavier then mine.

,, Hands and knees. Now.’’ he said and he stood up. Once I was on all fours, a harsh slap landed on my ass. Hoseok started spanking me, giving me the reasons why I was spanked. For ignoring him, for fighting him back, for flirting with Hyungwon and so on.

,,I love your ass baby girl’’ Hoseok said while he played with my ass, he was squeezing it, pushing it together, pulling it apart.

,, Daddys dirty little slut, do you want your ass fucked?’’ I felt another smack. ,, You want daddy to fuck your ass?’’ He asked me with a nother smack.

,, Yes daddy, please’’ I said pushing my ass further up into the air and he slapped my ass again, then he pulled my ass cheeks apart and licked up to my hole spreading all the wetness around. I felt like I could cum right there again when he pulled his tongue away and pushed one finger in.

,, Such a tight ass’’ he said slowly adding a second finger, stretching me out a little bit. He pulled his fingers out and once again slapped my ass.

He gave my ass one last smack before slowly pushing his head in.

,, You good babe?’’ he asked making sure I was alright and I just moaned in response, trying to nod my head somehow.

Hoseok pushed the rest of the way in and I didn’t even think it would feel so good. His dick was even three times bigger while being in my ass.

He grabbed ahold of my hips and slowly started to thrust in and out of me. Hoseok didn’t waste any time, he started thrusting into me faster hitting all of the right spots.

,, So tight’’ he moaned before smacking my ass again. I felt his cock twitch inside me and I could tell that he was close. Hoseok reached down in front of me and started to rub tight circles on my clit. I started shaking and my vision started to blur before I felt myself release again. I arched my cack and road out my high.

Few seconds later I felt Hoseok’s hot cum inside of me, he grabbed my hips and pulled deep inside before he released himself inside of me.

We both fall on the back seat, breathless and tired from what just happened. Hoseok changed our positions, making my back rest on his chest and his arms wrapped around me.

,, You feeling ok ?’’ he said as he placed his lips on my shoulder.

,, I feel amazing’’ I said still breathing heavily.

,, Sorry if I was too rough, I just wanted to fulfil your tumblr needs’’ he said and I could feel him smiling. ,, Didn’t know you were into choking, daddy kink and all that’’ he added.

,, Are you not ?’’ I asked surprised.

,, I am, but I was surprised when I found out that you also are’’ he said as he kissed my neck once again.

,, Yeah, I was also surprised when I found out that you like me’’ I said looking at him. ,, You could simply just tell me, you know ? I mean, who does that ? How could I know ?’’ I said making a face at him. Hoseok took my chink gently and placed his lips on mine, making me shut up.

,, You do now’’

I’ll edit it some other time

time for sleeping now lmao

Requests are open

love ya all

772 notes · View notes

whiteliesuk · 3 years

Text

White Lie: Kamala Harris is the progressive queen we have been waiting for; as the first black, Indian, female VP all things will inevitably change for the better! Sit upon your pedestal Madam Vice President!

The reality:

Should anyone doubt the effectiveness of the US political propaganda machine, they need only look at how successfully it whitewashed Kamala’s abysmal track record as prosecutor. Our Madam VP elect is very far from the progressive her campaign slogans and your Instagram stickers have made her out to be.

I’ve been holding back from writing this post: I didn’t want to put out the sordid details of Harris’ record before the election in case I inadvertently convince some undecided voter to go the wrong way (lol at me thinking I had any such influence!) Or have someone accuse me of being a Trump supporter, heaven forbid. I also didn’t want to write this post too soon after the election, as people rightly celebrate the result after days, even weeks, of anxiety and stress. I don’t want to be that much of a party pooper! But… I did spend much of the post-election evening grinding my teeth at the multitude of ignorant Instagram posts screeching ‘KamaLove’, ‘Yes we Kam!’ or of her shimmying some dance moves. Worst of all was the widely shared video of Kamala’s post-election victory speech, where she declared:

“I am thinking about… the generations of women – Black women, Asian, white, Latina, Native American women – who, throughout our nation’s history, have paved the way for this moment.’

In Kamala’s case, women of colour paved the way in a very different sense: she figuratively stepped on them to make it as VP.

I fully acknowledge and appreciate the empowerment that comes from representation: it means a lot to have someone that looks like you rise to a position of power, especially when it is ground-breaking and breaks thick, bullet-proof glass ceilings. To be the first black, South Asian, daughter of immigrants to become VP in the US is huge. But representation only goes so far, particularly if said person has a track record of supporting or exacerbating systems that discriminate against minorities and the working class. We, in Britain, with the likes of Margaret Thatcher, Priti Patel, and Saji Javid should really know this by now.

To eradicate any doubt, I invariably wanted the Democrats to win the US election; I am still rejoicing at seeing the physical embodiment of Agent Orange lose. But while I celebrate the end of the Trump administration, I am not necessarily looking forward to a Biden-Harris one. Biden’s shortcomings appear to be widely accepted; heck, with a slogan like ‘Settle for Biden’ even the Biden presidential campaign acknowledge he’s far from perfect. But what baffled me was the wholesale acceptance of the message that Kamala Harris was ‘IT’: there was such fervent feeling that she was a progressive saviour; a progressive queen, who’s reign would mark the beginning of a progressive new age. And all her campaign had to do was repeat the word ‘progressive’ enough times for everyone to believe it.

There is nothing that irritates me more than public figures being put on pedestals they don’t deserve. This hero-worship tends to arise from ignorance, often by design, of said person’s full history. As such, it’s another example of a dangerous white lie that serves to maintain a harmful status quo. This is certainly the case for Kamala: her presidential campaign, and later vice-presidential campaign, pedalled the incomplete and erroneous message that she is a through-and-through progressive. When in fact, she has a history of being another run-of-the-mill, tepid-in-the-face-of-injustice, neoliberal candidate that perpetuated the status quo, particularly within the sphere of criminal justice and actions against the police. I hope the events of this past year, particularly those arising from George Floyd’s death and the BLM protests, has made it self-evident that we really want to move on from the status quo.

Now, I’d hate to be hypocritical by painting her as entirely ‘bad’. Kamala has largely been on the right side of history during her time in the Senate: she introduced a bail reform bill with Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) that would encourage states to reform or replace standing bail systems that currently jails hundreds and thousands of people for simply not being able to pay their bail; alongside Senators Cory Booker (D-NJ) and Tim Scott (R-SC), she introduced a historic bill that made lynching a federal crime; Kamala has also signed on to Booker’s marijuana legalisation bill, in a drastic U-turn on her stance on the matter; she also voted for the First Step Act, a significant (although limited) federal criminal justice reform bill that would ease very punitive prison sentences at the federal level.

Even before then, she started the ‘Back on Track’ program as District Attorney, which allowed first-time drug offenders to obtain a high school diploma and a job instead of doing prison time. Her handling of California’s ‘three strikes’ law as DA was also head of its time: under the law, someone who committed a third felony could go to prison for 25 years to life, even if their third felony is a nonviolent crime (America is a wild and incredibly draconian place). But Harris required that the San Franciscan DA’s office only charged for a third strike if the felony was a serious or violent crime. Harris also unveiled the Open Justice portal, a website that contained data on arrest rates and deaths in custody, going some way in addressing the lack of a national database for these figures and therefore accounting for the use of deadly force by law enforcement.

But then some of what she did was just tepid. When the BLM movement took off, for example, Harris introduced and expanded ‘first of its kind training’ to address racial bias within the police. However, officers had to sign up voluntarily and were only required to attend 8 hours of training – I somehow doubt this’ll do much in overturning a deep-seated and institutional racism problem within the police. As Attorney General, Harris made the California Department of Justice the first state-wide agency to require body cameras, but she stopped short of endorsing state-wide regulations on their use, leaving it free to local forces to decide how and when they could be used. Doesn’t really instil accountability, does it?

Then there are parts of Kamala’s track record as prosecutor that is plain old regressive; reminiscent of a ‘tough on crime’ era that subjected people of colour to heavy handed policing and insurmountable institutional road blocks throughout the criminal justice system. It’s not merely the fact that she was a prosecutor that’s problematic: although there are those like Briahna Gray (American political commentator and lawyer) who argue that ‘to become a prosecutor is to make a choice to align oneself to a powerful and fundamentally biased system’, I am open to the possibility that tangible and radical change can be effected from the inside. As Harris said in the New York Times Magazine in 2016, she wanted to work within a system she wanted to change, to be ‘at the table where the decisions are made’ (however, I am also equally open to the possibility that eradicating institutional racism requires a more drastic overhaul of the entire system). But rather, it’s what she did and enacted as prosecutor that makes Kamala’s image of progressive saviour so deeply hypocritical.

Kamala Harris was anti-sex work

There are people I know who would balk at this first point and think, so what? I’m anti-sex work. For a moment I thought I would give in to this sentiment and miss out this point. But that moment passed very quickly; because to do so would overlook the women of colour Kamala Harris harmed as District Attorney, and women of colour have been overlooked enough.

To address those who are choking on their tea: it is now a progressive stance to be pro-sex work, catch up with the times my friends! It’s long overdue we fully respect any man or woman’s choice to undertake sex work, as long as it’s consensual. “But but but uggghhh!!! It’s so vulgar! So unsavoury and demeaning!! How could you be for it! It’s so disrespectful to women!’ yada yada yada. Sex work is not invalid just because it’s not work you’d personally undertake. I, for one, respect and value myself and others too much to ever debase myself by becoming a management consultant, but there are people who do and they’re not criminalised for it (despite their exploitation of the working class). And you know what’s even more disrespectful to women? Telling them what they can and cannot do with their bodies or how they should make their money.

While I accept the reality that some sex workers are vulnerable and, having grown up in Southeast Asia, I can’t deny that sex trafficking is a very real problem that needs to be addressed. But I do not believe that criminalising sex work is the answer to helping the marginalised and exploited. Rather, they should be protected and given safe options of redress. Moreover, there is a difference between exploitation and consensual sexual work. And that is fundamentally where Kamala got it wrong: although she presented herself as an advocate for victims of sexual exploitation, as District Attorney and prosecutor she often conflated ‘trafficking’ with consensual sex work.

For instance, she waged a war against Backpage.com, an advertisement website used by sex workers, during her time as District Attorney of San Francisco. Many in the industry argued that it made their work secure in more ways than one: the website not only provided a steady stream of more reliable income, but also meant sex workers no longer had to take to the streets to find clients, and provided a means by which they could vet clients or make complaints against them. Harris’, on the other hand, called the site ‘the world’s top online brothel’ and pursued pimping charges against the website’s operators even after a judge tossed out the initial case on free speech grounds. Backpage’s closure left many sex workers strapped for cash to pay for their housing and medicines and even forced some sex workers to turn to more precarious kinds of work to make up for lost income. Harris continued her opposition to the website as Senator and supported legislation that further criminalised sex work across the internet.

Harris made matters worse by making sex work unsafe more generally, most notably by voting against Proposition K – a bill that would’ve decriminalised prostitution in San Francisco. Prop K would’ve redirected city resources once spent on arresting prostitutes into education and health outreach for sex workers, providing access to an array of the city’s medical and legal services, therefore opening up avenues for sex workers to report violence committed against them and improve their public health.

Harris vehemently disagreed. In a public statement (video here) she equated Prop K to ‘roll[ing] out the welcome mat to prostitutes and pimps to come to San Francisco. It would impede and interfere with our ability to investigate and prosecute cases of human trafficking…’ Moreover, she claimed that ‘Proposition K pretends to be about compassion, when in fact it is completely the opposite… it is not compassionate to the families who live in the neighbourhoods where these activities are occurring… If you want to go see Pretty Woman, go rent it.’ That’s a very long-winded way of saying that outdated phrase we’ve come to hate so much: ‘tough on crime.’

Instead, the San Franciscan Police Department and DA’s office were using the presence of condoms as evidence of prostitution and other criminal activity, which in turn posed a significant barrier to the routine use of condoms by sex workers: to avoid criminal charges, many were reluctant to carry condoms or keep them at their place of work. Evidence shows that sex workers are more likely to use condoms and have lower rates of sexual transmitted diseases where payment for sex is permitted, as in Austria, Australia, Germany, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and Thailand. In the early days of the AIDs epidemic, there was an agreement between the San Franciscan DA and Health Department not to use condoms as evidence for this very reason; but this was well and truly gone as Kamala waged her war against ‘Pretty Women’.

Besides the moral and public health standpoint, there was evidence to suggest that criminalisation of sex work was ineffective – only 9 cases went to trial in 2009, the year before Prop K was proposed, and no convictions resulted from them. Even more problematic was police culpability in the ‘crime’ Kamala was so staunchly against: a 2012 USFC medical study found that 1 in 5 sex workers in San Francisco reported that police officers paid them for sex. Horrifyingly, 1 in 7 were threatened with arrest by police officers unless they had sex with them. Kamala was directing her ire to the wrong place.

Prop K would have been a more humane and effective approach to sex work, but Kamala was so against it that she maintained her position even during her ‘progressive’ stint in the Senate. Our so-called progressive champion championed a policy that is already viewed by many as backwards and unethical.

Kamala threatened to jail parents of kids who missed school

The well-being of children is perhaps less controversial and a cause that the majority of society can rally behind… Well, unless you’re a Trump supporter who doesn’t mind seeing children caged; a Tory who initially allowed children to starve during their school holidays; or you’re Kamala Harris and implemented a program that threatened to jail parents in order to solve California’s truancy problem.

Throughout her political rise, Harris has upheld her anti-truancy program as an example of her ‘smart on crime’ approach. Before the implementation of this new program, parents could be cited and fined but never faced the threat of jail time. Harris, however, thought truancy was a problem that could only be solved with an iron first. She argued that truancy was a criminal justice issue, declaring that ‘if we don’t educate these kids in the classroom, they’re going to be educated in the streets’; stating that 94% of San Francisco’s young homicide victims and two thirds of prison inmates are high school drop outs. As such, rather repressively, her anti-truancy program upped the ante by threatening parents with prosecution and adding the possibility of jail time: parents of children who are chronically truant can be found guilty of a misdemeanour and face a series of fines and punishments, starting with $100 fine for the first conviction and ending with a $2,000 fine as well as a year of incarceration. She first implemented the program in 2008 as San Francisco’s District Attorney, but later implemented it as state-wide law in 2012 as California’s new Attorney General.

To Kamala’s credit as District Attorney, the threat of prosecution was only used in extreme truancy cases, involving weeks or months of missed classes, and only after parents had been offered help by relevant support providers. Typically, when a student was found to be regularly truant, the school district would first get involved by sending out letters to parents telling them that their child was missing class. The school would then invite parents to a meeting with school staff and, sometimes, support service providers would attend to get to the root of the truancy. The next step was a meeting with the school attendance review board – in which various government agencies and social services, as well as school staff, would attend – to better understand how to prevent the truancy issues. That meeting typically concluded with a contract that dictated who was going to do what to make sure the child could attend class. Harris’ supporters have emphasised how this framework ultimately helped families struggling with poverty, homelessness, mental illness, and substance abuse gain access to the supportive services they need.

Harris, in her memoir The Truths We Hold, argued that this was the point of the program all along: ‘even today, others don’t appreciate the intention behind my approach; they assume that my motivation was to lock-up parents, when of course that was never my goal. Our effort was designed to connect parents to resources that could help them get their kids back into school where they belonged. We were trying to support parents, not punish them – and in the vast majority of cases, we succeeded.’ There is indeed evidence to show that school attendance rates did rise in San Francisco after the program’s implementation: San Francisco Unified School District data showed that the percentage of chronically truant students had fallen to 2.5% from 4% from 2007/8 to 2010/11; habitual truancy rates and overall truancy rates also fell. However, it’s unclear if the program can be credited for the change, as the school district also carried out various other efforts at the time to improve attendance rates.

But there is so much wrong with Harris’ anti-truancy approach. Firstly and unsurprisingly, it disproportionately affected children of colour: Los Angeles implemented a ticketing version of the anti-truancy program, in which children outside of school hours were ticketed and fined $250 or more, with a mandatory court appearance, for their first offence. These punitive measures were not only drastic, economically costly, and caused students to miss more school for court appearances, but had also highly racialised consequences: a Latinx student in the Los Angeles Unified School District was twice as likely to be ticketed and arrested at school than a white student, and a black student is almost six times more likely to be ticketed and arrested than their white counterparts.

Worse still, Kamala Harris as District Attorney specifically targeted children of colour in implementing the program: her office spent $20,000 on a campaign advertising a hotline and urging San Francisco residents to call if they spotted kids ‘playing hooky’ during school hours. The ad campaign targeted three historically black and Latinx neighbourhoods. Big Sister, Kamala Harris, is always watching… But only if you’re black or brown.

Secondly, if the point was never to imprison parents or punish them, and to ultimately work towards reducing the number of people who pass through the criminal justice system, then why did the possibility of prosecution and imprisonment exist at all? It is illogical to me that one would use prosecution and imprisonment as a solution to the very thing that prosecution and imprisonment brings about: punishment and increasing those who pass through the criminal justice system. In fact, a punitive approach to truancy only threatens to fuel the prison pipeline. Moreover, it is after all possible to implement the positive elements of the program – namely the framework and processes that connected struggling families with the support services they needed – without prosecution or imprisonment being a possible end point. Indeed, this would’ve probably put the program outside of Kamala Harris’ remit as District Attorney and Attorney General, and it would’ve instead fallen to the leader of the San Francisco Unified School District to implement it, but so be it.

Harris and her supporters have made pains to highlight that no parents were jailed during her time as District Attorney. Katy Miller, who helped implement the program as prosecutor working under Harris, states that at most 20 parents are prosecuted in a typically year in San Francisco, and none have been jailed. But the implementation of the anti-truancy programme state-wide has meant more conservative (read: punitive) parts of the State have not been as considerate towards families’ needs: in Hanford, California for example, one mum was sentenced to 180 days in jail in 2012 for not sending her kids to school. This is an unwelcome outcome even by Harris’ standards.

This therefore begs the question as to whether truancy should be criminalised at all? Firstly, all involved, including Harris – the anti-truancy program’s very own architect – acknowledges that criminalisation is an undesirable and unwelcome outcome. Secondly and more principally, prosecutors, the criminal justice system, and criminal punishment are far from being the answer to many social ills, truancy being one of them.

Jyoti Nanda, a law professor who runs a youth justice clinic at the University of California, Los Angeles, said she had been ‘deeply disappointed’ by Harris’ ‘fearmongering’ on truancy. And fearmonger Harris did: in a 2010 video, she boasted that a mum warned her kids, after seeing a letter from the prosecutor’s office, that ‘if you don’t go to school, Kamala’s going to put you and me in jail.’ Nanda has described the approach as ‘completely the opposite of best practices’ to help students. Furthermore, the way Harris framed truancy as the individual fault of poor parents fed into old, ugly, stereotypes about poor families and families of colour (which is, again, very reminiscent of a ‘tough on crime’ approach!) Nanda highlights that student truancy is not necessarily the problem of bad or neglectful parents, but a system of broader problems, the chronic underfunding of California’s State schools being one of them. ‘It’s using a crime lens to address what’s really a public health issue,’ Nanda says.

The reality is that more often than not issues stemming from or exacerbated by poverty are at the root of truancy – the program itself acknowledges this by putting families in much needed contact with the various support services they need. It’s therefore incredibly draconian to criminalise the issue: the threat of prosecution, imprisonment, or a fine could hurt an already struggling family financially, or take a parent out of a child’s home. A child who is a truant is probably not getting sufficient parental support or contact, because they or their parents are juggling multiple jobs, struggling with health issues and care, are homeless, in the criminal justice system already, and/or are generally struggling to make ends meet. As summed up by James Forman Jr, author of the Pulitzer Prize winning book Locking Up Our Own, in a series of tweets: ‘you’re essentially threatening people with prison when there’s underlying poverty issues that are potentially preventing them from having their kids show up to school on time.’ The last thing a child in these already difficult circumstances needs is for their parent to be prosecuted, jailed, and incur the financial and practical long terms costs associated with this. How is that mum from Hanford going to drive her kids to school if she’s in jail, or if she can’t afford transportation due to hundreds or thousands of dollars in fines? In the longer term, the criminal record she incurs could harm her future job prospects. These collateral consequences only inhibit a parents’ ability to support their children and get them to school; the program therefore carries the potential of hurting the children it intends to help. And it really need not to.

Kamala defended mass incarceration

In this time of greater awareness regarding the racism and brutality of the criminal justice system, thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement, a defence of mass incarceration is unarguably a non-progressive stance. Credence must be paid to the fact that Harris’ put forward an ambitious criminal justice reform plan during her bid for the Democratic nomination – policies that aimed to end the war on drugs and, most notably, scale back on mass incarceration have now been adopted into Biden’s presidential campaign. However, this reformist stance is the antithesis of Kamala’s own track record as Attorney General, when she defied the US Supreme Court’s order to reduce overcrowding in Californian prisons.

California’s mass incarceration problem was both chronic and infamous: at its peak, the State’s prison system was at 200% of its designed capacity. The situation was so dire that in one prison, 54 prisoners shared a single toilet; suicidal inmates were locked in telephone-booth sized cages for 24 hours at a time; and beds and medical personnel were at such a shortage that preventable deaths due to substandard and overstretched medical care occurred every five to six days. Constitutional protections for prisoners against cruel and unusual punishment is enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but for decades successive Republican and Democratic administrations ignored the problem.

It speaks to the seriousness of the problem that a federal District Court held in 2009 that no other plausible solution existed for getting the State to conform to a constitutionally reasonable standard other than prison release – federal courts are typically reluctant to consider prisoner release and see it as a measure of last resort. A pledge to quickly build new prisons was considered but found not credible in the midst of a recession and given California’s limited finances. The District Court therefore mandated that the State enact a series of decarceration measures to reduce the prison population to 137.5% of its designed capacity within two years (i.e. mass incarceration would continue, but at least to a lesser extent. Yay!)

However, the case (Brown v Plata) was taken to the US Supreme Court when the State appealed the District Court’s ruling. Again, the severity of California’s mass incarceration problem was highlighted when the conservative leaning Supreme Court’s judgement found California’s prison system to be in violation of prisoners’ Eighth Amendment Rights and identified prisoner release as the most effective method of ending the State’s constitutional violation in a timely manner. The verdict was split 5-4, with the conservative Justice Anthony Kennedy joining the Court’s liberals: in upholding the lower-court mandate, Kennedy wrote the majority opinion in the case, adding gruesome details from inside California’s prisons, and condemning the State for facilitating “needless suffering and death.” I’ll keep mum of the hypocrisy of this coming from a judge who ruled in favour of the right to bear arms for now.

By the time this judgement was released on 23 May 2011, Kamala Harris was newly appointed California’s Attorney General and the ruling would therefore have to be enacted on her watch. Every six months, the State needed to show that it had decreased its prison population in compliance with a threshold overseen by a three-judge District Court panel: 167% of capacity by the end of 2011, 155% by June 2012, finally arriving at the target level of 137.5% by June 2013. But, with Harris at the helm, it soon became clear that the State would not easily comply with the judicial order.

It’s worth noting that Harris was acting on behalf on behalf of California State Governor Brown, who preceded her as State AG and was notorious for his position on the issue. I’m sympathetic to Harris for having to defend an unsavoury client in this case: all lawyers have experience of this and I have no doubt that I’ll have many a client I strongly disagree with; but so often our hands are tied behind our backs, due to regulatory and ethical codes, and despite strong vehemence to our clients’ stance we have to defend them nonetheless. But it’s the way she conducted the case, which lawyers do have scope in determining, that I take issue with: Harris, on behalf of Brown, acted in complete defiance of the Supreme Court ruling.

Little to no progress had been made on the decarceration mandate and, by 2012, a report surfaced that proved the State actually intended to increase its prison population. In May of that same year, Harris’ office ‘confirmed their intent to not comply with the Order but instead to seek its modification from 137.5% design capacity to 145%,’ a modification that was not granted to them. The District Court ended up extending the decarceration compliance deadline to the end of 2013. But by April 2012, just two months before the initial deadline given in the Supreme Court decision, California still had 9,636 prisoners more than the court-imposed ceiling. The State submitted a proposal that involved relocating inmates to fire camps to fight wildfires, and prevent out-of-state prisoners from being returned. But after reviewing these proposals, the three-judge panel found that that still left California’s prisons some 4,170 prisoners over the hard limit.

Again, the three-judge panel acquiesced and arrived at a solution: the expansion of ‘good time’ credits for nonviolent offenders, shortening stays often by just a handful of months. This effectively involved increasing the sentence reductions minimum-custody inmates can earn for good behaviour, instead channelling them into rehabilitation and education programs. The State’s own expert witness had testified years prior that he did not oppose good credit measures, and that there was no correlation between length of stay and recidivism, meaning that the public was not at risk. States such as Washington, Illinois, and even tough-on-crime New York had implemented these programs with success. The Court found that the expansion of good time credits would make some 5,385 inmates eligible for release and therefore solve the problem at hand.

But Governor Brown, with Harris steering the ship, did not agree. Harris’ office launched into a campaign of all-out obstruction, refusing to answer why they could not simply comply with the request to release low-risk, nonviolent inmates in order to conform with the Supreme Court’s request. Harris office relented further: they claimed on behalf of the State that the Supreme Court had no jurisdiction to even request such a release, refusing to answer questions as to how they would implement the Supreme Court ruling, and courting a constitutional crisis. Any lawyer reading this will be clutching their pearls right now – the audacity to refuse the final ruling of the highest court in the land, can you believe!!!!

Unsurprisingly, the three-judge District Court panel replied with a stunning rebuke in their June 2013 ruling: when asked by what date the State could provide a list of prisoners who are unlikely to reoffended, the judge wrote that the ‘defendants defiantly refused and stated, somewhat astonishingly, that our suggestion that we might order defendants to develop a system to identify low-risk prisoners, a system that the Supreme Court had suggested we might consider ordering defendants to develop ‘without delay,’ is a prisoner release order that vastly exceeds the scope of the Court’s prior orders.’ The Supreme Court had in fact ruled that the three-judge District Court panel had exactly that authority in its 2011 ruling. ‘In tortured logic, the defendants suggested that the Supreme Court’s statement ‘did not authorise the early release of prisoners, or even the consideration of that question.’ The ruling went on to say that Harris’ Attorney General’s Office ‘continually equivocated regarding the facts and the law,’ to the point that the panel strongly considered holding the State in contempt.’ Ladies and gentlemen, gaslight tactics were indeed deployed by Harris’ office to the extreme.

The panel, however, did not hold the State in contempt, primarily because it would have delayed the release of nonviolent inmates further, and therefore aided the State’s obstructionist tactics. The manipulation! And all this to prevent the release of only 5,000 nonviolent offenders, whom multiple courts and experts had presented as next to no risk of reoffending or threat to public safety. Instead, the State decided to spend the time seesawing back and forth between dubious legal fillings and flagrant disregard.

Harris’ legal tactics also drew rebuke from legal commentators, who saw her legal motions as obstructionist, done in bad faith, and nonsensical. Barry Krisberg, long-time president of the National Council on Crime and Delinquency, said that ‘the legal arguments that the State was putting forward make no sense.’ Andrew Cohen, Senior Editor at the Marshall Project and fellow at the Brennan Centre for Justice, believes that Harris’ behaviour may have put her in breach of California’s legal and ethical standards, which forbid filing a motion ‘for an improper purpose, such as to harass or cause unnecessary delay.’

In an endorsement of the exploitative prison labour complex, the State at one point argued that nonviolent offenders needed to stay incarcerated, because they worked as groundskeepers, janitors, in prison kitchens with wages that range from 8 cents to 37 cents per hour, and were needed in fire camps in the wildfire-plagued State. If they were released, then prisons would lose an ‘important labour pool’. Harris has recently distanced herself from these arguments, claiming that she had no knowledge of it and telling BuzzFeed News that she was ‘shocked’ by the argument. But Alexander Sammon, writer of The Prospect article ‘How Kamala Harris Fought to Keep Nonviolent Prisoners Locked Up’ casts doubt on the notion that Kamala was ignorant of legal arguments put forward in this case: generally, she was known to run an extremely centralised AG’s office, with few things coming in or going without her express sign off. Specifically, this was the highest-profile case she managed as AG, involving a ruling from the highest court in the land, concerning a decarceration order her office spent years resisting. As if any of the arguments put forward escaped her notice before they got to court.

This dogged and callous opposition to decarceration hardly conveys Kamala as being on the side of racial and justice reform. Moreover, as Sammon points out, ‘putting someone with a history of defying the Supreme Court on the Democratic ticket would significantly undermine the Democratic nominee Joe Biden’s pledge to return to the pre-Trump ear of governance, where the three branches of government are seen as coequal and the courts are respected.’

Kamala isn’t looking so progressive now, is she? A lot to take in, I know. And it’s gut wrenching to come to the realisation that someone you pinned so much hope on is disappointing in so many ways. So, let’s take a breather.

Or, are you not convinced yet? Fear not, next time we look into Kamala’s history of upholding wrongful convictions and inaction in the face of police brutality and prosecutorial misconduct.

#whitelies #kamalaharris #blacklivesmatter #vicepresident #joebiden

0 notes

bigyack-com · 4 years

Text

Sex Trafficking via Facebook Sets Off a Lawyer’s Novel Crusade

HOUSTON — Tech has led to a lot of trouble lately: hate speech, financial scams, undermined elections. Yet tech companies have largely avoided legal consequences, thanks to a landmark 1996 law that protects them from lawsuits.Now that federal law, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, has a new threat: Annie McAdams, a personal-injury lawyer in Houston.Ms. McAdams is waging a legal assault against Facebook and other tech companies, accusing them of facilitating the sex trafficking of minors. In a series of lawsuits in California, Georgia, Missouri and Texas, she is using a novel argument to challenge the 1996 law, and finding some early success. This year, a Texas judge has repeatedly denied Facebook’s motions to dismiss her lawsuits.Section 230 states that internet companies are not liable for what their users post. Ms. McAdams argues that, in the case of pimps using Facebook and Instagram to lure children into prostitution, separate laws require Facebook to warn users of that risk and do more to prevent it.“If you sell a lawn mower and the blade flies off and chops someone in the leg, you have the responsibility to fix it and warn people,” she said. “Nowhere else has an industry been afforded this luxury of protection from being held accountable for anything that they’ve caused.”Ms. McAdams’s lawsuits are part of a broader, yearslong effort to use the courts to upend how the 23-year-old law governs the internet. While Section 230 is increasingly debated in Washington and on the presidential campaign trail, legislation is not expected to significantly weaken the law anytime soon. Instead, lawyers are pushing ahead with federal and state lawsuits to challenge its protection of internet companies. After years of court rulings that strengthened the law, cracks have recently begun to show.In 2016, a federal appeals court ruled that Section 230 didn’t protect a modeling website that two men used to lure women they drugged and sexually assaulted, because the site’s owners knew of the threat and failed to warn the women. In March, a federal appeals court affirmed a ruling that Airbnb could be held liable if its users violated home-rental bans in Santa Monica, Calif. And in July, another federal appeals court rejected Amazon’s Section 230 arguments and said it could be held liable for selling defective products after a woman sued over a broken dog leash that partly blinded her. The court is rehearing the case at Amazon’s request.“Plaintiffs keep taking cracks at it, and every time they don’t instantly lose, they pour more resources into that crack to see if they can split it open,” said Eric Goldman, a Santa Clara University law professor who supports the law.Ms. McAdams’s case is one of the widest cracks today. Facebook asked Steven Kirkland, a state judge in Houston, to dismiss two of Ms. McAdams’s lawsuits because of its immunity under Section 230. The judge denied the company’s motions, though his rulings offered little insight into his thinking. He declined to elaborate in an interview.“It’s always noteworthy when a 230 dismissal isn’t granted in a case involving someone like Facebook, because we just presume Facebook won’t be liable for what its users are doing,” Mr. Goldman said.Facebook responded to the judge’s decision in Houston with a nearly 50-page petition to a Texas appeals court, arguing that Judge Kirkland had erred. “The claims here asserted against Facebook have no basis in law,” Facebook’s lawyers wrote in the petition.A Facebook spokeswoman added that the company “has zero tolerance for any behavior or content that exploits children on our platform” and that it used sophisticated technology and a partnership with a children’s advocacy group “to aggressively combat this behavior and protect children.”Ms. McAdams’s approach could prove significant. If the Texas rulings hold up on appeal, they could persuade judges in other states and potentially even draw the Supreme Court to weigh in, said Jeff Kosseff, a United States Naval Academy law professor who wrote a book on Section 230. If judges began allowing such product-liability claims to get around Section 230, it would probably mean many more companies would be held legally responsible for harms that occurred on their sites, particularly if plaintiffs could show the companies’ decisions or policies had led to those harms, according to Mr. Kosseff and two other law professors who spoke to The New York Times. Judge Kirkland said he expected Facebook’s appeals would continue to the Texas Supreme Court, meaning a trial would most likely wait until 2021.“My clients know it’s going to be a 10-year fight,” Ms. McAdams said. “I’m not looking for a settlement. I’m looking for a day in court.”Ms. McAdams, 43, poses an unusual challenge for the tech companies. She is not an Ivy League lawyer with a history of Supreme Court cases; she is a personal-injury attorney who has taken on drunken drivers, real estate developers, insurance companies and a church after a coffin floated away in a flood. Over fajitas at her favorite Tex-Mex joint in Houston, she said she had acquired the restaurant’s secret margarita recipe in legal discovery when she sued the place for serving a man too much alcohol.She dismisses academics critical of her approach, and she delivers bold pronouncements — particularly to a reporter with a voice recorder — in a disarming Texas drawl.In the Facebook case, she predicted a jury would award her clients billions of dollars. “They have to do everything to keep me from that jury,” she said, “because once facts are known, it’s over.” She said she was “building the blueprint” for lawyers in other states to sue social-media companies on similar grounds. Ms. McAdams first pursued lawsuits against the hotels where pimps set up shop. Then, when interviewing potential clients, she noticed a common thread: Almost all the girls had met their pimps on Facebook or Instagram.She still wasn’t exactly sure how to build a case, until she watched Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s chief executive, testify to Congress last year. “I couldn’t believe he went on the record saying I’m responsible for the content,” she said. “I have 17 references under oath.”After she sued, Facebook enlisted about a dozen outside lawyers, including in Houston, Dallas and Austin, and flooded her with court filings. “Every time they file, we’ll punch back,” she said.Her lawsuits accuse Facebook of violating Texas sex-trafficking and product-liability laws. Section 230 basically protects tech companies from being sued for what people do on their platforms; Ms. McAdams argues that her case is about what Facebook didn’t do to protect its users. “We’re not trying to hold Facebook accountable for something some random person posted,” she said. “We’re trying to hold Facebook accountable for their independent actions and omissions in the facilitation of trafficking.”She said laws required Facebook to do more to stop predators who use its products to find victims and to warn people of that risk. For instance, she said, Facebook could require users to verify their identities and better restrict adults from connecting with minors. While Congress amended Section 230 last year to allow federal lawsuits against tech companies that facilitate sex trafficking, Ms. McAdams is suing Facebook in state court.The product-liability argument has not always succeeded. While her argument appeared to persuade one judge, a second Texas judge overseeing another of her lawsuits against Facebook rejected it. He is letting her continue the suit under different claims.Carrie Goldberg, a New York lawyer, tried a similar legal argument when suing the dating app Grindr for enabling her client’s ex-boyfriend to send more than 1,000 men to her client’s door looking for sex. Two federal courts cited Section 230 and dismissed the suit, and the Supreme Court declined to hear the case in October. Ms. Goldberg said that if a product-liability argument succeeded against tech companies, it could force companies to make their sites safer. Such product-liability law are “how we have seatbelts and windshield wipers; it’s because of court cases where companies have been held liable for dangerous conditions,” she said.Ms. McAdams is hedging her bets. In addition to her three suits against Facebook in Texas and one in Tennessee, she has sued Salesforce in Texas, California and St. Louis, accusing the business-software company of helping the prostitution site Backpage do business. Those suits have had mixed results so far. Salesforce declined to comment. Last week, she sued the email company MailChimp in Georgia for also helping a Backpage imitator. A MailChimp spokeswoman declined to comment specifically on the suit but said the company doesn’t allow illegal activity on its platform.Next up, Ms. McAdams and her co-counsel, David Harris, are talking about suing other large tech and financial firms for their roles in sex trafficking. “The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” she said. Source link Read the full article

0 notes

biofunmy · 5 years

Text

Taylor Swift says ‘manipulative’ Scooter Braun’s acquisition of her recordings is ‘worst case scenario’

Taylor Swift performs at Wango Tango on June 1 in Carson, Calif. (Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP)

Travis M. Andrews

Pop culture reporter covering music, movies, TV, comedy and celebrity culture

June 30 at 8:13 PM

Taylor Swift posted an incendiary note on her Tumblr on Sunday in reaction to the sale of the Big Machine Label Group to music mogul Scooter Braun, calling the news “my worst case scenario.”

To Swift, this was more than trade publication fodder. She signed to Scott Borchetta’s Big Machine as a teenager and remained with the record label until last year, when she signed to Universal Music Group. As part of her contract, Big Machine owned all of her masters — meaning they own the rights to her songs — although Swift has made clear her dissatisfaction with the situation.

For a label to own artists’ masters is fairly common in the record industry, but many argue that it strips artists of control of their own music. Some labels will later offer recording artists the chance to buy their own catalogue back, a practice Big Machine engaged in, according to Swift.

“For years I asked, pleaded for a chance to own my work. Instead I was given an opportunity to sign back up to Big Machine Records and ‘earn’ one album back at a time, one for every new one I turned in,” Swift wrote on Tumblr. “I walked away because I knew once I signed that contract, Scott Borchetta would sell the label, thereby selling me and my future. I had to make the excruciating choice to leave behind my past. Music I wrote on my bedroom floor and videos I dreamed up and paid for from the money I earned playing in bars, then clubs, then arenas, then stadiums.”

The sale of her masters as part of the deal was irksome to Swift, but adding injury to insult is who now owns them: Braun, with whom Swift has been feuding for years. “I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world,” Swift wrote. “All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years.”

Braun formerly managed Kanye West, who has a rocky history with Swift. He infamously interrupted her acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards to announce that she didn’t deserve her award. Years later, he rapped, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex / Why? I made that b—- famous.” West’s wife, Kim Kardashian West, then publicly released a secretly recorded audio clip in which Swift appears to give the rapper permission for his crass lyric. West also released an accompanying music video for “Famous” that included naked synthetic bodies of various celebrities together in the same bed, including himself and Swift.

Swift directly referenced some of these incidents in her post. “Kim Kardashian orchestrated an illegally recorded snippet of a phone call to be leaked and then Scooter got his two clients together to bully me online about it,” she wrote. She included an image of an Instagram post from Justin Bieber, which featured him on what appears to be a FaceTime call with Kanye West and Braun from 2016 with the caption, “Taylor swift what up.” The caption has since been deleted. (Bieber posted an apology on Instagram on Sunday for the “hurtful” and “distasteful” post three years prior, but defended Braun, his manager, whose character he said had been defamed. “Scooter has had your back since the days you graciously let me open for you,” Bieber wrote.)

“His client, Kanye West, organized a revenge porn music video which strips my body naked,” Swift added. “Now Scooter has stripped me of my life’s work, that I wasn’t given an opportunity to buy. Essentially, my musical legacy is about to lie in the hands of someone who tried to dismantle it.”

In her post, Swift directs her ire at Borchetta in particular for the sale.

“When I left my masters in Scott’s hands, I made peace with the fact that eventually he would sell them. Never in my worst nightmares did I imagine the buyer would be Scooter,” she wrote. “Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”

Braun has not publicly responded to Swift’s post, but his wife, Yael Cohen Braun, posted a statement on Instagram that alluded to Swift being a bully and said that the pop singer did know about the Big Machine sale. “Your dad is a shareholder and was notified, and Borchetta personally told you before this came out. So no, you didn’t find out with the world.”

In recent years, Swift has become something of an activist on behalf of recording artists. She withheld “1989” from Apple Music in 2015, citing dissatisfaction with how the organization compensates artists when customers with trial subscriptions stream music.

“I’m sure you are aware that Apple Music will be offering a free 3 month trial to anyone who signs up for the service,” she wrote at the time. “I’m not sure you know that Apple Music will not be paying writers, producers, or artists for those three months. I find it to be shocking, disappointing, and completely unlike this historically progressive and generous company.”

The company quickly responded, changing its policy.

The year before, she had written an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal that railed against streaming services for not paying artists a fair share.

Swift closed her note Sunday with praise for her new label.

“Thankfully, I am now signed to a label that believes I should own anything I create,” she wrote. “Thankfully, I left my past in Scott’s hands and not my future. And hopefully, young artists or kids with musical dreams will read this and learn about how to better protect themselves in a negotiation. You deserve to own the art you make.”

She signed the note “sad and grossed out” with a broken heart emoji.

Sahred From Source link Entertainment

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2XfqG1e via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

etherealrj · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by @archiefuckingandrews babe once again thank u

Rules: answer all the questions and tag 20 other blogs (tagged at the end of the post)

last:

1. drink: milo 2. phone call: my boss 3. text message: "I moved money" @ my mother 4. song you listened to: Kick it Neck Deep 5. time you cried: idk yesterday probably 6. dated someone twice: lol no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: no 10. been depressed: ohh fuck yeh 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I'm assuming I have because I blacked out

3 favourite colours

12. mustard 13. maroon 14. khaki green

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: kinda 16. fallen out of love: never 17. laughed until you cried: @ star wars memes 18. found out someone was talking about you: lmao yeah 19. met someone who changed you: sadly no 20. found out who your friends are: I actually have none 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: like 1

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I deactivated my facebook but if I reactived it, i probably wouldn't know a lot of them 23. do you have any pets: I have one doggo 24. do you want to change your name: I hate my name, but id what else I would be called? 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I sat in my ex-bestfriends shirt and cried 26. what time did you wake up: like 9 am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I was both shopping for patches and reading all the fanfics about bucky barnes 28. name something you can’t wait for: AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (kept Kristen's answer bc I too agree) BUT ALSO STAR WARS : THE LAST JEDI 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like 1O minutes ago 31. what are you listening to right now: a Neck Deep x Selena Gomez Spotify playlist I made :') 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i went to school with one probably spoke like three words to each other?? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my own self hatred ahh 34. most visited website: Instagram, tumblr, & snapchat 35. hair colour: apparently its blonde 36. long or short hair: my mother says its long but i think its medium length 37. do you have a crush on someone: sebastian stan 38. what do you like about yourself: my lips are preee nice 39. piercings: i have 4 lobe piercings, two helix piercings and an industrial. 40. blood type: A positive 41. nickname: i don't have enough friends for this to be a thing lmao 42. relationship status: single 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: they/them 45. favourite tv show: like walking dead or rick and morty 46. tattoos: i want to get a lottttt, but also I'm not old enough yet :') 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: i had my tonsils taken out 50. sport: when i was 14 i played netball, basketball and i was a runner but now you wouldn't be able to get me out of the house 51. vacation: jfc i would go to Disney land (bc I'm basic) but universal studios and japan are also like high up there??? i want to go to London?? 52. pair of trainers: i have a pair of doc martins and four diff pairs of converse?

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: chewing gum? 54. drinking: Apple Juice 55. I’m about to: try and write some requests i have sitting in my ask box :') 56. waiting for: death, nahhh I'm getting super drunk to forget about all my problems in like two weeks time 57. want: the patches that i just bought for my jacket :') 58. get married: who tf?? I'm 18 not 35 59. career: ask me the question last year i would have said actor now probably a journalist or something idk

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: hugs 61. lips or eyes: lips 62. shorter or taller: idk like the same height to taller??? 63. older or younger: i was the youngest in my grade bc my birthday is in December but like i would like a partner to be older than me (which isn't hard) 64. nice arms or nice stomach: neither both me and i don't know what you would define as nice arms so ill say stomach 65. hookup or relationship: i have anxiety so neither, but i'd rather a relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: i argue with a lot of people but I'm extremely shy so?

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: uh nah 68. drank hard liquor: i guess 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: i surprisingly dont need glasses 70. turned someone down: yes , just last week . 71. sex on the first date: demisexual 72. broken someone’s heart: probably 73. had your heart broken: when Anakin choose Padme over myself or Obi-Wan 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: no 76. fallen for a friend: never been in love but i have liked my best friend romantically.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: nah 78. miracles: yes 79. love at first sight: yes 80. santa claus: ofc 81. kiss on the first date: i have never been on a date but someone kissed me after they asked me out and i told them we were no longer going to date just because of that. 82. angels: meh

OTHER: 84. eye colour: hazel/green 85. favourite movie: ya'll shouldn't ask me this question jfc. The wonderful stylings of George Lucas in Star Wars : The New Hope but also like Civil War is the best thing i have ever seen with my own two eyes,

people i tag: sry for tagging literally everyone again, if you had already been tagged sry if you don't want to be tagged also sorry. @r-ivertales @writing-in-riverdale @mrsjugheadjonesthethird @thatsadbreakfastclub @autisticarchieandrews (i don't even know 20mdiff people tbh)

#not riverdale #tag game #amber rambles

4 notes · View notes

news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 5 years

Text

What it’s like to be Pornhub's social media manager

Managing a brand’s social media is tricky for anyone in 2019, and it’s even more challenging if you’re the social voice (and face) of Pornhub, the web’s most popular porn site. We spoke with Aria Nathaniel about the fine line she walks at the office each day.

Boasting a whopping 6 million followers on Instagram and 1.25 million on Twitter, Pornhub has amassed extensive reach on social media channels. By riffing on memes, trends, and current events — and interacting with readers — Pornhub stays relevant and continues to build an engaged community.

Most of that work is done by one woman — Pornhub's social media manager, Aria Nathaniel, who’s staying up to date not just on what Pornhub’s doing, but on the latest trends across the internet.

youtube

The voice of Pornhub

Between spreading awareness of the brand, engaging with followers, and keeping her posts within each platforms’ terms of service, Nathaniel has a big job. But for all the extra behind-the-scenes challenges of running social media for a porn brand, Nathaniel's work appears effortless to the average follower.

Like all social media managers, Nathaniel's job requires her to stay up on what's happening online. “I try to latch on to mainstream trends and breaking news stories to boost engagement. If people are talking about something nonstop, I want to insert myself into that discussion,” Nathaniel tells Mashable via email. “It’s me 24/7, 365.”

“I’m constantly scouring the news and keeping myself 'in the know' on things — sports, politics, entertainment, video games," she says.

#instagramdown pic.twitter.com/yaZlCJy0tm

— Pornhub ARIA (@Pornhub) March 13, 2019

Like any social media manager for a brand, Nathaniel has to follow certain rules (like the aforementioned platforms' terms of service). But as the voice of a large adult entertainment platform, she has more leeway about what she shares than, say, someone running social for a telecom or an airline. “I’m afforded a unique opportunity to pave my own funny/witty/sexy/raunchy lane and break away from all the mundane commentary that tends to typically proliferate [on] branded social media,” she says.

This strategy, Nathaniel says, has made Pornhub more “approachable,” adding, “People are able to see me being silly on social media and are less inclined to think of us as strictly an adult entertainment platform. I like giving Pornhub a personality that many people can relate to.”

RT if you sexually identify as a mistake

— Pornhub ARIA (@Pornhub) March 20, 2019

She puts thought into the type of content to put on each platform: The Twitter account is heavy with jokes and memes, because, as Nathaniel says, “it’s especially important to be relevant and topical with whatever you’re posting about there.”

Because Instagram is more visually focused, she notes, she focuses on promoting some of the adult entertainers and "posting pictures from various marketing initiatives we’re doing, whether it be a new product, physical activation, or stunt.”

SEE ALSO: Oh great, another 'Game of Thrones' porn parody is here

While some of the content Pornhub posts may get your heart racing just a bit or isn’t something you’d want coworkers in your office catching you scrolling through, Nathaniel says that nothing she posts violates TOS. While content has occasionally been removed from Instagram, she says those instances generally aren’t a TOS violation but coordinated attacks by dissenters, “a result of people mass reporting our account because they don’t agree with what we stand for.”

There are other social media challenges for Nathaniel, too, but, surprisingly, not the ones you might think.

Side-stepping Twitter’s darker corners

We all know that along with the good things they do, like providing a platform for marginalized voices, social media channels can also be terrible places, filled with harassment and misogyny, making these platforms a minefield for women. One study, published in December 2018, found that women were harassed on Twitter every 30 seconds. And you know it’s not a good thing when that number actually feels like it's lowballing how often it occurs.

Nathaniel, though, says she’s actually been relatively lucky when it comes to harassment. She tells me she keeps a close eye on Pornhub's mentions so she can interact with followers, and doesn’t receive too many harassing comments. “The internet, by and large, has been rather kind to me/us in regards to comments and interactions," she says.

View this post on Instagram

Find me nowhere near the sun because my skin has evidently never seen the light of day....selfie. #phworthy

A post shared by Pornhub (@pornhub) on Feb 27, 2019 at 5:58pm PST

But Nathaniel does make an effort to evade trolls by being careful about what she chooses to post about, and avoiding controversial political topics. “I’m very cognizant so as to not post something too controversial because I don’t want my comments and replies to turn into a hateful thread where people are arguing back and forth with each other," she tells me.

Still, there are some questionable queries thrown Nathaniel's way, even as she seems to take them in stride. “The one question I’m asked incessantly... is why I haven’t done porn, which I take as a compliment,” she says.

In reality, she says she rarely even visits porn sets: “Because I’m the brand ambassador it’s pretty rare [that] I’d wind up on the production set unless it was for a marketing campaign. We do very little production ourselves, actually, which usually surprises most people.”

Nathaniel hasn’t had many issues with overzealous followers, either, and when she has it's been mostly positive. “For a while I had a wonderful fan sending me donuts every week. While it’s not uncommon for people to send me things, this was recurring and quite wholesome.”

Fans also appreciate her literal realness: “It always amazes me when people realize I’m not a bot and actually a real human," she says. "I always get a good laugh from that. Most people are super nice and gracious, and I’m always so appreciative.“ At the end of the day, regardless of someone’s profession, people should be mindful of the things they say to them.”

View this post on Instagram

Gal pals! #phworthy

A post shared by Pornhub (@pornhub) on Mar 13, 2019 at 8:03am PDT

The big online porn behemoths Pornhub, RedTube, and YouPorn are all owned by the company Mindgeek, and each has its own social media manager. When asked if these social media accounts might play a role in the misogyny that’s rampant on these platforms, Nathaniel points out that all of Mindgeek's social media accounts are run by women. “[Mindgeek] is a cool place for us as women to speak up and speak out on things that are near and dear to us."

Nathaniel says she also has a great relationship with those other social media managers: “I’m close friends with YouPorn Katie and the social media manager for RedTube, Emma.”

All three women work in the same office, she says, and adds, “We do sometimes talk shop but rarely compare notes. We want to be as genuine as possible and if we compare notes or share tips with respect to what does and doesn’t work on our distinct platforms, that may compromise our authenticity and personality.”

Treading carefully

One might think a drawback to working in the adult entertainment business would be becoming numbed to sex. After all, there have been numerous stories about the effects on those who watch a lot of pornography; it stands to reason that working in the industry, even an arm's length from production, one might run similar risks.

But Nathaniel says she hasn’t experienced this in her job. “People always expect me to be super horny or super desensitized to sex from working here, but I don’t feel a shift in anything at all. If anything, I’m just more informed.”

Elaborating, she adds, “Working at Pornhub is like being in sex ed class 24/7, and I mean that in the best way possible. I’m more knowledgeable about sex and sexual health. I’m more aware of the sexual community and the challenges they face. I’m more in tune with sex workers and have been fortunate to form lifelong friendships with many of them.”

That’s not to say she doesn’t have any concerns. When you’re the person behind a major brand online, you’re always a target of trolls and others looking for you to make the slightest misstep. Or, sometimes, no mistakes at all; they’re just ready to pounce.

The story of Amy Brown, the Wendy’s social media manager who blew up thanks to sassy tweets but soon experienced a backlash for no reason other than that people are jerks, is one such example.

Being sharp and genuine and connecting with the readership is a big part of the task, too, and Nathaniel is quick to praise the entire social media team at Pornhub, adding, “We work tirelessly to ensure we’re culturally competent, authentic, and sensitive to people.”

“At the end of the day we just want to put a smile on people’s faces. I want someone to be scrolling through Twitter, stop on my Tweet and laugh out loud or smile. That’s all," she says.

And it's working: Users apparently like Nathaniel's voice so much, that there are multiple series on YouTube featuring her, including the day-in-the-life series “Chronicles of Aria,” and “Pyft,” in which Nathaniel operates a rideshare for porn stars. “[Many] people who follow us on social ask to see more of me and my personality, so we thought this would be a cool way to do so on a safe for work platform," she says.

youtube

While it appears that she leads an adventurous life, Nathaniel insists that she’s not “a wild and crazy person” but has had a few fun moments, like the 2018 Pornhub Awards in Los Angeles. “I never thought that I’d have Kanye West (who was creative director of the awards show) physically stitching a dress to my body.”

Ultimately, the success of both the Pornhub social media strategy and Nathaniel herself has boiled down to maintaining that much-talked-about authenticity and not losing her sense of self, particularly on a platforms littered with garbage, bots, and plenty of hate speech.

And, she says, it’s especially important to stay centered when you run the account for adult entertainment; the subject matter itself can inspire people who might think it’s okay to be horribly foul in response while at the same time angering people who, as Nathaniel mentioned, don’t like what Pornhub does.

Ultimately, Nathaniel has found that balance: “Pornhub Aria is who I am as a person. I haven’t changed to conform to people’s preferences or anything. I’m super authentic and take pride in that.”

#_uuid:a7bfaf87-ad63-3e3a-8da2-03e1359794b9 #_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_author:Marcus Gilmer #_revsp:news.mashable

0 notes