#this is a whole essay ...... apparently it really is that serious to me

[foursaints]

Can you talk some more about bartydora if you dont mind

i've touched on this briefly before, but barty is an interesting character to pair with others for me because of his role as essentially just an Unsolvable Equation.

like his identity formation was so stunted & abnormal that barty is just layers of masks all the way down. he's an mc escher staircase. but the way others react to that problem reveals a lot about themselves!! and it's compounded by the fact that the twins (an inventor, a surgeon) are both problem-solvers at their core.

before i get into it: i think pandora treats him like a human being. but despite how nice it is, deep down i dont think barty LIKES being treated as a person (💀). he's just so unused to it.

barty will always pick the way that evan treats him, as some type of sick other half, where he doesn't NEED to be a person because he can just be evan's missing puzzle-piece instead. barty wants the comfort of being able to define himself in relation to something else.

BUT ANYWAY.

i think pandora is more comfortable sitting with the irrational than her brother. to me the quibbler is evidence of this, but so are her experiments (P wants to create something new, E wants to take apart/optimize what already exists). so that's why i believe she's one of the few people in the world who's close to barty WITHOUT wanting to peel back his layers.

the fandom likes to make her a necromancer, and i think this ties nicely into my conception of her character as someone Deeply Steeped In Grey Areas And Uncertainties. she's concerned with the murky boundaries between life/death, between her identity/her brother's, between the real world/dreams. barty is a living grey area & the way he goes all blank when he's not putting up a front doesn't alarm her (yet she doesn't obsess over & crave & sink into his moments of vulnerability the way Evan might)

esentially: pandora is RARELY distinguishable from evan, but their small differences are highlighted specifically whenever she's around barty. by both accepting & ignoring the central Ambiguity of barty's personhood, she is basically the only person alive who can be normal about him.

i think they have little crushes on each other that come & go because of that relationship!! they feel like childhood friends. they have a weird ability to make each other feel like a regular boy and girl: he's a little sheepish around her, she giggles when he ties her shoelaces, he's putting her on the handlebars of his bicycle... there's a lightness to that relationship that doesn't exist anywhere else in their lives.

i generally believe that everyone in their friend group inevitably develops a crush on barty, and pandora isn't an exception— for her it's the dorky crush you get on your brother's best friend. he's tall & handsome & funny & charming & kind to her in a way he isn't kind to anyone else. for barty, i think there's something about the rosiers (the idea of these angelic, odd, fucked up little sheltered creatures) that just instantly does it for him no matter what. at least 40% of what he feels for evan extends to his sister, just in a more innocent way

but it's not REAL, if that makes sense? because barty is ugly and violent and complicated, and so is pandora!! neither of them are actually the boy/girl next door, even if that's what they are to each other ? and they both implicitly know that, so the crushes inevitably fade? but i think it's really beautiful that they even CAN be that for each other? which is why the crush is always there, simmering under the surface a little?

i think there's a gendered aspect to this as well. maybe this is sexist but i see barty as being a gentler version of himself around girls in general (i’m thinking of: his closeness w/ his mother, his closeness w/ winky & her insistence that he’s a sweet boy)... i think he’s one of those dudes with terminal daddy issues who grew up watching his father mistreat his mother and it really affects how he treats women. he’s more comfortable with girls and he gets a little softer around them... pandora has always gotten this softer version of him

#a #barty meta tag #rosier twins #pandora #ok i got a little carried away . #this is a whole essay ...... apparently it really is that serious to me

[chinchillinator]

Stupid long post about why Fire Island (2022) hit me in the solar plexus and didn’t let up

ive had time to Process. ive had time to eat. ive had time to drink quite a lot of tea. now, time to be slightly more coherent about my thoughts. though far more long-winded. because here’s the thing, Fire Island is not about just Being Gay or just Being Asian. it is about the intersection of these.

This movie is just enjoyable. Straight up. No question. It is a movie that is enjoyable to watch for anyone who has even a remote interest in the romcom genre. It’s a deeply heartfelt adaptation of a well-loved novel, it’s a respectful and grateful nod to adaptations that have come before it, it’s a fun comedy that hits its beats perfectly every time, and it’s so full of care that every character shines for themselves in a way that makes you love each and every one. And, alright, maybe I’m somewhat biased, but truly I think this is just a Good Movie and its universality comes from it just being a Good Movie that makes people laugh and cry and just have fun watching it.

But sitting down to watch this movie sparked something in me that is so much deeper than just genuine enjoyment. I experienced something I’ve never had the privilege of experiencing before: a movie that represented every facet of myself in such an authentic way, I finally understood what it means to see myself in a piece of media. Not just a part, not just a relatable line that spoke to something I recognized in my own life, but a much more layered and nuanced sum total of my lived experience. Because that’s what it’s like to have a movie about queer Asian-Americans that’s actually written by queer Asian-Americans.

I said to my friend -- also a queer Asian-American -- while watching a scene in Erin’s kitchen, “this is such an Asian house.” She screamed her agreement. (To be fair, most of the movie was just us screaming at each other, but regardless.) There’s no explicit details that I could point to and say, “that’s an Asian thing” or “this is exactly like my house,” but it feels inherently like my home. This is where I am comfortable, this is where I belong, and this is, at least in part, due to the influence of the woman who owns it: an Asian woman. A woman in my community, who could be related to me, who’s built a place that speaks directly to my soul. It’s a combination of so many little things that I couldn’t even explain, but the whole creates a place that I just know. That’s what it was to watch this movie.

It’s only touched on once in the actual narration and dialogue. On the ferry to the island, Noah and Howie talk about being Asian in the queer community and what that means in a few pithy lines to give context to the movie’s themes and who they are as characters. We move on pretty quickly. It’s not necessarily important, nor necessarily a focal point -- this movie is not about Being Asian. These characters are not Asian to advance the plot or create a heart-wrenching character arc or be the representation quota to make the movie woke. They are simply humans. Just some people who could be sitting next to you on the bus talking about finding love or finding someone to fuck. Their race is incidental.

Only it’s also not.

Like with Erin’s kitchen, there are very few single details of this movie that I could pick out and say, “that is what defines the queer Asian-American experience.” But at the same time there were dozens of instances that struck me as something I knew intimately. The subtleties of anti-Asian racism and the briefest of brief mentions of being mix-race and how these things interact and intersect within the queer community as whole. And they’re never dwelled upon as if they are important to the plot, because essentially, they are not. This movie was for queer Asian-Americans not because it was necessarily about how our experiences are defined by our race or our sexuality, but because it built our experiences into the world so organically that it’s almost unnoticed. Because, to us, it kind of is. This is just how life is for us, we don’t know or see any different, we can’t. Everything we go through is rolled up within our identities, and of course this is true for everyone everywhere. It’s just that this movie was so perfectly targeted to this specific demographic because Joel Kim Booster is, himself, a queer Asian-American. Almost like, by having someone of that demographic breathe life into this story and these characters, it creates a fully-rounded, nuanced, and entirely authentic portrayal of a particular community that speaks to them on a level much deeper than any other. Wild.

I do want to try to talk about two specific instances, though, despite all I’ve just said about how the lack of specificity actually creates such powerful representation, because they mattered to me so very much and they feel very topical at this moment. First, the creepy dude who hits on Noah and Howie because they’re Asian, and second, the fact of Will’s mixed heritage. How do these things relate to the plot? Oh, well, they don’t. At all. You can take out Cooper’s line about Will’s mother and you can replace the creepy dude with literally anyone else and nothing about the story is different. But it would lose something significant to me. Losing those would be losing parts of the world that make it so viscerally real and recognizable to me; the representation wouldn’t feel so painfully, beautifully poignant to me without them.

So, let’s talk creepy dude. The fucking anime tattoos. That’s what Noah points out. And, no, that’s not some hard and fast rule saying “oh, this person loves orientalism” but it is something we Notice. And Consider. And it’s perfectly portrayed as to why. This guy is not outright racist in the most formal sense. Not a slur in sight. No spitting or violence. Just the most deeply uncomfortable microaggression known to man that tells us, immediately and unquestioningly, this person only wants to fetishize us. It’s the predatory nature of his approach, the way he zooms in on Noah and exudes the air of trapping him without even being directly in his space. It’s the way he played “so where are you really from” like a game with himself. It’s the combination of this with his four anime tattoos. This man doesn’t give a fuck who Noah or Howie are, he only wants An Asian. And this is distressingly common amongst Asian-Americans.

The conversation about the fetishization of Asian bodies normally focuses on female-presenting bodies. And while it’s true that female-presenting Asian people are more at risk due to the overlap of them being female-presenting and Asian and the way our society is structured against female-presenting people, Joel Kim Booster is making a hell of a point with this: racism is present in queer communities, and anti-Asian racism looks awfully similar no matter where you are. Queer, male-presenting Asians are fetishized the same way female-presenting Asians are and it is just as harmful. And just as subtle. This moment made my entire self simply become the embodiment of the word yikes. But maybe to someone who isn’t Asian, this moment looked innocuous. Maybe to every other person in that scene who wasn’t Asian, nothing weird or out of place was happening at all. And, in fact, if Noah wasn’t Asian, this wouldn’t have happened at all. A very recognizable Asian-American experience distilled down to a few seconds that served only to introduce our first interaction between Noah and Will, which could have gone any other way for the sake of the plot, but also couldn’t have for the sake of real life. Because Noah is Asian, because Joel Kim Booster is Asian. Because this is just How Things Happen to us. And if we’re fighting against the fetishization of female-presenting Asians, we have to fight against the fetishization of male-presenting Asians, too.

As for Will? His mixed heritage? That just laid me flat on my back.

It’s the fact that Cooper felt the need to point it out. As if to really nail home to Noah, “he’s more like us than he is like you.” When the entire point of the story is this very Us Versus Them mentality -- whether it pertains to class, or race, or any other form of social standing -- Cooper closing Will out of some perceived “Asian club” with Noah and Howie is essentially erasing the fact that he’s Asian at all. And that could mean that Will isn’t treated as Asian by these people; there’s a level of conformity that he must ascribe to in order to be accepted by them, one that upholds the White status quo, and if he steps out of line he loses them. Another form of racism interwoven with being a part of the queer community. Because connecting with other queer people is so wonderful and fulfilling and sometimes, maybe, you’re willing to overlook Certain Things in order to be amongst a group of your peers; no one wants to be doubly ostracized, but so many people are. It’s even thrown in Will’s face from the other side, too. When Noah tells him he’s just the token Asian for his friend group, a harsh reminder that he’s not like them, not really. That there are parts of his life and his lived experience that his friends will never understand. And the implication that Noah does understand. “You’re not better than me because you’re friends see you as White,” Noah seems to say, “you’re just being hurt in a different way.”

Being “white-passing” comes with its privileges and its pitfalls. And it’s not always about being white-passing in appearance, either. Conrad Ricamora is absolutely not white-passing to my eye. But he’s passed as white by his friends. By Cooper, who thinks that having a white mother gives the Us claim to him over the Them. And being passed as white, he must act that part. The beauty of the evolution of his relationship with Noah being that he no longer has to act. He can fully embrace his identity as a queer Asian man around other queer Asian men who share his experiences even more deeply than the other queer men he became close with. It’s not a part of his character arc that’s focused on, because the story isn’t about race or ethnicity, but to me, a “white-passing” mixed-race Asian, there was release at the end. A freedom. That breath you take at finally finding your place and being welcomed for the whole of who you are.

Erin’s kitchen. The little details of who Will was as a person bearing almost no resemblance to who I am as a person, and yet viscerally familiar.

None of this could’ve existed in this form if it was not helmed by a queer Asian-American. Someone who can simply weave his lived experiences into a movie that has literally nothing to do with them in any specificity, someone who can set us down in a world where we’re finally seeing through his eyes what it’s like to live his life. And I recognize that life. I also live that life. And I don’t have to dig down to find the parts of myself beneath all the layers I can’t relate to, I don’t have to pick a detail to latch on to. I get to have it all. I get to see Myself on a screen, represented in a way that I understand on just about every level. Chest-aching, heart-rending, utterly magical; almost three decades of this life and I get to have this. Finally.

#literally no one has to read this im serious #this got so fucking long #im having so many emotions about this movie #it just really effected me #so apparently i had to write a whole ass essay about it #THIS IS SO MANY WORDS YOU CAN SKIP PAST IT I PROMISE #NO PART OF ME WILL BE OFFENDED #i just had to write it all down #for myself #gaysian found family

[thygoddessouijathicc]

Bishop Edibility Tierlist; A very deeply serious essay about which bishop would taste the best if you had to eat one of them for any reason

Aight, 88% of you voted in favour of this being released, so this is on you. This blood is on YOUR hands. Just remember that as you read this.

So you all remember that essay I did about how the bishops all had some kinda trauma or different reactions to purgatory and shit and how that was such a serious thing analyzing dialogue and reactions and stuff-?

Well there are TWO wolves inside of me, and one of them writes serious researched essays, it’s time you meet the other.

To preface this, this essay is entirely a joke please don’t take any word of this seriously.

To start with, technically anything is edible if you try hard enough, sometimes only once but I digress, however some things are more appetizing than others.

For this essay we will be taking evidence from canon in some cases on things you can eat, but assuming that this only means these things are more appetizing in this world, not that anything you can’t feast upon very specifically in the game is somehow inedible. Meat is meat.

Also Narinder will be referred to as a bishop because he was one.

Ok let’s start our list.

At the absolute bottom of the edibility tierlist is Narinder. Narinder is a cat. While technically cats are indeed edible by the laws of meat is meat, cats hold a special place in the hearts of many including myself.

But to be honest the real reason that Narinder holds this spot is meat quantity and quality of him specifically. Narinder, holds very little meat. Sure he has a head, but his arms are skeletal and it’s safe to assume possibly a lot of the rest of his body tis also but frail bone. Possibly what is not could also be rotten if he’s that kind of god of death that qualifies as a corpse. And while meat is meat, Narinder not only has very little, but what he does have may be poor quality. This cements him in the shameful bottom spot.

He’s also a-

Moving on, next, quite regrettably, is Leshy. Leshy is a major jump in quality from Narinder.

We don’t know much about bushworms or their anatomy but what we do know, is Leshy is dummy thicc, this means he has a large quantity of meat.

Unfortunately Leshy is also a worm which isn’t exactly the most appetizing creature to put in your gaping maw so that docks him a few points.

However the true reason he cannot be higher is that depending on your read of his anatomy, Leshy could qualify as a salad, and EWWWWW VEGITALS!!! 🤢🤮🤮

Moving on to the “would eat again category” we start with Heket.

Now it should not be news to anyone that frogs are edible, especially to French people. But I don’t believe in French people, they aren’t real. Anyway as I’m saying, you can eat frogs to your hearts content!

There are sanitation issues with Anura apparently being super gross which docks some points but overall, Heket is a solid option.

Now we’ve reached “ok hear me out” territory with Shamura.

Spiders are a major food source in cult of the lamb. Which is a bit questionable for a few reasons, including that there are multiple spider characters and Webber exists but also small spiders on the ground which seem to be a separate species which raises a lot of questions possibly best gone unanswered.

What really matters is what you can do with the small spiders you find around, you can chase them down and when you catch them, they drop meat. My friends have told me that this means I’m just taking meat they are holding, after all you can get berries if the spider has taken them.

What I say to this is: but the idea of lamb running around at night and picking up whole large spiders off the ground and feeding them to their followers is fucking hilarious, and also they always drop the same meat and never berries unless they have picked them up. You’d think if I’m just taking what they have and they will eat berries as well as meat, that I’d get berries more often. Nay, only when picked up from my farms.

This leads to the only possible conclusion being that people in the cult of the lamb universe feed often on spiders, that’s right, Helob eating followers is VENGEANCE.

So, we have established spiders are very edible in cult of the lamb, and you know what Shamura is? A giant fucking spider. They are edible, I rest my case.

Now let’s move on to first place oh boy who is it, probably who you should have expected, Kallamar.

His name sounds like Calamari to start with and not only can you eat squids in real life, you can in the game (similar weird separate species thing with spiders only in this case it’s more definitive that you can very much eat the squids themselves.)

Kallamar would also likely cry if you proclaimed your desire to consume him, misery not only makes meat better but his tears could be seasoning!

Not even to mention the fact that after beating him, it would be a moment of victoriousness and pure vindictive nature, to proceed to eat Kallamar, and vindictive nature is something I most definitely do not lack as I cuss out bishops every time I see the statues after I beat them.

Squids also don’t have many bones so unlike the others who you’d have to spend an extensive time processing before eating, Kallamar would be easy and his bones make up very little of his composition.

In conclusion, why did you read this whole essay it’s not even that funny.

And those of you who voted to have this released. Are you happy?

Are you not entertained!?

#cult of the lamb shamura #cult of the lamb kallamar #cult of the lamb heket #cult of the lamb narinder #cult of the lamb leshy #cult of the lamb #COTL #cotl heket #cotl narinder #cotl leshy #cotl shamura #cotl kallamar #bishop shamura #bishop heket #bishop leshy #bishop kallamar #bishop narinder

[frogsndogs]

ok, been thinking about Vincent Van Ghoul (as one does) and been thinking about how Mystery Inc. absolutely BUTCHERED his character. This man was not mysterious, serious or magical. He was just dramatic and annoying. And yes, Vincent is dramatic, but mysterious dramatic, not annoying dramatic. But, anyways.

I just don't like one of my favourite characters being done dirty like that so we're back with rewriting media I don't like :).

So my thoughts were along the lines of his horror movie stuff has something to do with Nekara, and some of the other demons. Maybe he was trying to stop her and one thing led to another and boom, now you're an actor and Vincent doesn't know how he got here, but being rich and famous is actually a somewhat good position to be in when you're looking for really obscure stuff. It's also good protection against some of the demons who don't want to be found. Then the essay contest.

What if Vincent was getting bored of waiting and decided to bring the demons to his front door? What if the essay contest was just him saying "yes, an evening with me - totally alone in my remote mansion where the power and security cameras fail regularly. And I would never bring weapons magic or otherwise to such a gathering of course not. Just me. Alone. In my mansion. Totally defenceless. If any demons - cough, cough - I mean fans want to hang out"

He doesn't expect anyone to actually write in. And if they do he'll just move the date inconspicuously. But apparently his producer didn't get the memo because now there are two teenagers and a dog outside his house when he's expecting thirteen of the most horrifying demons to ever walk the mortal plane to show up.

Long story short, the kids end up saving him and put one of the demons back in the chest. They decide to help him with the other 12, but not tell Velma and Fred just yet bc they want to break the whole thing to them gently.

This would obviously change how the series goes, hopefully for the better - with Vincent acting as the kids' desperately needed responsible adult.

#scooby doo #daphne blake #scooby gang #shaggy rogers #fred jones #velma dinkley #vincent van ghoul #13 ghosts of scooby doo #13 ghosts #mystery incorporated #I just want them to be happy #mortifier and asamad and flim flam are here somewhere #where? who knows? #Actually wait #I had an idea #instead of meeting Vincent and joining him #Flim Flam meets Mortifier #wait #that might be a whole other post #whelp

[ataliagold]

20 Questions For Writers!

I was tagged by @steviewashere, thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 72.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

513,481, which...has really escalated from deciding to post a random oneshot back in 2022...

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Stranger Things so far, and really just Steddie, but I also love exploring the Steve and Robin and Steve and Dustin dynamics within my fics too.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Wreckage Of You I No Longer Reside In

I Can Wait For You At The Bottom

But My Heart Is Just A Little Boy (which surprised me, being a recent oneshot)

My, My, Those Eyes Like Fire

Oh Darling, Please Be Mine

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always. I'm grateful that people take the time to comment and they always make my day, so I respond.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't actually think any of my fics have angsty endings because I can't write anything except happy endings...if pushed I'd say As The Light Fades From The Screen , because it ends on a pretty grim note with Steve having been involved in a serious car crash but it's part of a series and is later resolved with Steve being ok, so I'm not sure if it counts.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them...haha. If I had to pick, probably The Wreckage Of You I No Longer Reside In. I sometimes struggle with endings, but I was happy with that one, and Steve Eddie and Dustin were just a lovely little family by the end of it.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Once. Someone took the time to read a 65k fic then write an essay in the comments about everything they hated about it, then messaged me telling me to never write again etc. I'm still confused as to why they chose to read the whole thing, but people are odd I guess.

Another time I got an odd comment from someone upset I included a very common tree in a fic because apparently it doesn't grow in Indiana. I wouldn't really count it as hate, I just thought it was a strange thing to get worked up about.

Thankfully, everyone else has been lovely.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

There's a little in some of my longer fics, it's just pretty soft and sweet. I find it kind of awkward to write for no particular reason, I just don't think it's a strength of mine.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No. I tend to get obsessed with one thing at a time, so I don't think I'd ever have any interest in writing a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of...

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but quite happy for someone to if they ever wanted to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I co-write the It Was Always Burning series with @floral--sunrise, there's 65 works in that series, some written by me and others by floralsunrise. So we individually write the fics but work together on overarching storylines etc.

As for co-writing an actual fic, I'm not too sure about if I'd do it, I'd have to think about it and it depends on the person. Definitely wouldn't rule it out!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie, hands down. I've been in fandoms for a long time, since I was about...12, and while other ships like Destiel have pulled me in for a while, nothing's rotted my brain like Steddie.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

Well...I only have one fic that I stopped writing, and that's Love Like Ghosts. I stopped for a couple of reasons - it wasn't getting much attention and I needed that back then, I'd only written a couple of things and needed feedback for some validation, I think, which I'm less bothered about now. I also had an idea for another fic at the same time which turned into Oh Darling, Please Be Mine, that one was more in my comfort zone and I ended up focusing on that.

But I still think about that fic often, and I think I'm going to go back to it maybe later this year. I really liked the storyline and that it was darker than what I usually write, and I had some pretty good ideas for it.

I did have another one that I'd written about 20 - 30k on, and had a few chapters up on AO3 when my laptop decided to delete the whole file and I couldn't get it back, I was so angry about it that I deleted it off AO3 and never started it again.

So I don't really have an answer to that question, because the only unfinished WIP I think I will finish one day!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ummmm...I'm not good at talking myself up but I think I'm quite good at dialogue. I've been told a couple of times that the characters seem pretty true to themselves in my fics, even if the story is very AU, so there's that I guess.

Also I think action scenes I'm quite good at - there's a fair bit of violence in some of my longer fics, especially My, My, Those Eyes Like Fire and Keep My Hand In Yours, and I really enjoy writing those scenes.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot, sometimes. Probably because I don't plan longer fics in advance - I have an idea, a couple of key scenes, and a vague idea of an ending and then I just start writing. I don't do any planning, nothing - I just write and see what happens. Which has usually served me really well, but sometimes I get to a scene and I'm like...well now what?

Keep My Hand In Yours was the plottiest thing I've ever written, and I did really enjoy that one, so I think that's helped a bit.

Also smut. Just feels weird to write for me, maybe because I haven't written a lot of it.

And endings, I sometimes find it hard to wrap up a fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't know any other languages, so I don't think I'd be very good at it. I'd be worried if I did try to use another language I'd butcher it, or the translation would be weird...so no, I don't think I would? Unless someone who spoke the language was helping me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Not sure if this counts but when I was a kid I used to handwrite Doctor Who stories, mostly where I was the companion and travelling around in the TARDIS. I didn't know what fanfiction was back then, but there you go.

I wrote some Supernatural stuff too a long time ago but I'm pretty sure I never uploaded it anywhere.

Other than that, just Stranger Things.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I'm gonna go with what Stevie did and go top 5, because I can't decide.

The Wreckage Of You I No Reside In - This is the second fic I wrote, and first multi-chapter, and still my most popular fic. I wrote it when I had covid and was stuck in the house with nothing to do, and never expected the response to it that it got. This fic has a special place in my heart, but I've never read it back because I think there'd be stuff I would change now, being more experienced now than I was then. But I love it anyway.

My, My, Those Eyes Like Fire - This one was fun to write. It had a lot of action, (and sword fights which...I love) and was purely inspired by Joe Keery in his gladiator outfit for Finalmente L'alba. A very kind person made a ficbind of it, and I had some art commissioned for it too that I'm obsessed with.

I Can Wait For You At The Bottom - One of my angstiest fics, involving a severely depressed Steve and suicidal ideation. I enjoyed exploring Steve being at rock bottom and Eddie, Robin and Wayne helping him back to his feet.

Keep My Hand In Yours - My longest fic. I'd wanted to write a zombie apocalypse fic for so long, and this is what happened when I did. Probably the one with the most Steve whump too, and I really enjoy some Steve whump.

But My Heart Is Just A Little Boy - This was just a little oneshot where I wanted to project my dyscalculia onto Steve, and it was quite personal and sort of therapeutic to write.

Tagging some people to participate if you want to! @runninriot @augustjustice @katyawriteswhump

#steddie fic #writers questions

[katyspersonal]

3, 18, 24, 29, 32 for Mico :3

(Asks from this ( x ) meme)

3) What first drew you to this character?

Like I said, my first introduction to Micolash was his theme song, paired with a concept art image of him since it was on Youtube. And I already was instantly captivated! My initial impression was that for some reason he was a helpless puppet, and I wanted to know of what exactly! So I've caught up on his lore.... and was sorely disappointed, because back then Fromsoft barely giving information was a novelty for me XD Still, I appreciated the madness, and the mystery. I was really impressed as he felt like someone on much higher level of knowledge, in NO way I felt like he was "silly" or "a joke" x)

18) Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Both! Imagining him laugh genuinely, not in madness, is one of my most comforting fantasies... ;-; I love seeing him peaceful, happy and, of course, loved! At the same time, I enjoy depictions of him recollecting his humanity only to collapse in tears and horror. Reflecting on how far everything has gone, on the people he had lost (usually Rom), on having lost himself..

24) Do you ever dream about this character? If so, describe a dream you once had about them.

This is... a heavy question. Micolash used to frequent my dreams. There is a whole saga about it, in a way, ahaha! I think my very first dream about him truly bound us. I dreamed about being Rom (even before I knew or created anything about her), walking on the water surface of the lake but it had water lilies, and seeing Micolash's back turned as he was praying. I tried to reach out to him and call him, but got absolutely ignored, then I looked down in the water and realised that although "I" perceived myself as a girl, I in reality became a spider. Realisation made me wake up, strangely with extreme nausea and thirst, even if I was not sick or poisoned.

But there were many other dreams a while later after that one. In this order: he invaded my average nightmare about my stepdad saying 'she is ours now' to him; him pulling me down into the sea to drown; him deceiving me with "loving me back" whereas he was hypnotising me to follow into apparently a trap (sort of an attic full of dust, books and mirrors) and I woke up when I snapped out of trance; the dream where he kept tormenting me by putting me through death by Frenzy over and over yet I kept respawning and unable to change my situation, and once I found a Sedative that was my only chance to get out of the 'loop' I've given it to a mother whose child kept suffering the same fate. When he saw it, he spared me and teleported me into a bed to have a rest... while he was very, very harshly scolding me for being "too obsessive" and weirding HIM out, that I was too much for HIM, and that he'd never love me and I was nobody for him?

And the last one in this 'line' was when I was little again, in my room, in the time where a very particular trauma happened to me. Except, it was full of the same fog as Nightmare of Mensis, and Micolash was there, offering to undo it...? Unfortunately, it didn't happen, but I appreciated the offer. Ironic that THE nightmare man would offer to stop my nightmares (or rather, take control over them, as "lesser evil"). And, of course, don't forget semi-regular Micolaurence dreams!

29) Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

I DO! And sometimes not for a good reason. It is like an instinct! xD Like, at times I am unable to take the joke about him being "just silly unwashed unhinged failure wet cat" fsdhfhds I am dead serious, I actually sometimes pout and want to write a long essay on how WELL AKTUALY he is very complicated and deep and messed up character! This is why other simps don't like talking to me anymore fhshdfshfs

The most defensive I've ever gotten about him was when an anon complimented an artist that (deliberately) prettified Micolash because they liked "aesthetic" or whatever. Anon praised the artist for "fixing" the "ugly" character, without exaggeration, and for making him "actually attractive" :/ But you've been there with me, you've gotten mad at that anon with me, you remember. Saying that someone made the non-conventionally attractive character aKtUaLLy lOoK GuD by replacing him with idealised version true to one's own preferences in appearance.. You know how Gehrman haters say that 'Doll is prettyfied idealised version of Maria crafted to his tastes that in no way reflects Maria's actual vibe'? I think as hard as I cringed at that moment, but in the end, I am able to understand how Gehrman haters feel when gamerbros simp for Doll!

So yeah, after realising that I have this problem of getting too defensive over integrity of my favs, including appearance, I have to restrain myself and rationalise. For example, 'maybe he used to look much prettier and healthier in Byrgenwerth times!' is reasonable! I just... won that trait in 'unlikeable' autistic fan traits lottery. You know, that one. That, if left unattended, will surely one day make the fan completely alone. As anyone is scared of telling them anything in fear of being "corrected". With only the characters they so-much-cherished to keep them company now. What a sad fate. I am sure there will be a better use for it one day than acting as though fictional characters have human rights sighhhhh....

32) If you could make this character a meal, what would you make them?

Well, look at this man, he never eats anything anymore because he's too focused on his research, so ANY meal would be good for him x) But greenish skin tone instantly makes me think of iron deficiency, so I would offer him chickpea spinach curry!

Thank you for asking!!

#bloodborne #micolash host of the nightmare #ask replies #a lot of introspection with this ask meme.. it is admittedly way harder to go through than I expected #personal #micolash is my true 'well aktualy' syndrome hazard and not gehrman lol #with gehrman I am just clarifying many layers of genuine misunderstandings #but with Micolash I have the 'I KNOW him though' hazard and you can see why!! afhdjfhsd #source: my dreams and divine revelations XDDDD help dhfhsd

[itsclydebitches]

I'm ngl I feel kinda afraid to mention any positive aspects abt the show bc it feels abit nowadays like you just, can't enjoy it anymore. Like no matter what RWBY does you won't be happy and any positive aspects mentioned you'd find a way to turn into something bad or Not Good Enough and idk I love most of your essays but that kinda throws me off. I just wish you were able to watch it a bit less... Against It. Hating it is fine, I hate it, it's a horribly written horribly paced mess with awful characters, awful humour and the worst voice acting in the industry, but I can unapologetically appreciate when a good scene happens and it feels like you can't, or at least can't without adding 50 asterisks and conditionals and ways it could be better. IDK it makes me a bit sad sometimes, since you dedicate so much time to this.

I feel you, anon, though we've known this was coming for years. Unlike a collection of short stories or other, separated media, the longer RWBY makes mistakes the more future content is going to suffer. Four years past where I personally think the show started having serious issues, yeah, there's more to criticize than praise (imo, obviously) and I'm not inclined to pretend otherwise. You say yourself, "I hate it, it's a horribly written, horribly paced mess with awful characters, awful humor, and the worst voice acting in the industry" so honestly I'm a little confused as to where you think these good scenes are that I'm missing. If the plot, tone, characters, humor, and acting all suck, what are we left with? And if you "hate" the show, why would you expect others to find more to praise?

Personally, I feel like I do appreciate the good scenes when we see them, but yeah, they're going to come with those 50 asterisks because, as said, everything is interconnected. If the show does a good job depicting Ruby's grief over Penny, I'm still going to question why we didn't get that when she first died. If the show nails an awesome "I'm still just small" line from Little, that unfortunately makes all the terrible humor surrounding it that much more apparent. My recaps strive to unpack all the aspects that I see, which means that after years of missteps the good stuff is coming with a huge load of baggage. For me, it would be a serious misrepresentation of the text to go, "Wow, Weiss hitting herself in the head with a rock sure was funny! Good on RWBY for writing such a comedic scene" and just ignore the context of that interrupting Ruby's grief because I don't want my recaps to be too mean. These recaps aren't going to RT. They're not written with the intention coaxing a writer towards improvement without breaking their spirit. There's absolutely no reason why I should pull punches - say less than everything I'm thinking - especially in a fandom that already works so hard to paint RWBY as better than I personally think it is.

I'm not going to insult you by assuming your intentions, but frankly I really dislike this whole 'It's so sad you can't enjoy the show anymore, you've dedicated so much to this, what's the point if you're not praising it?' perspective. I've heard it a lot over the years and 99% of the time it's sanctimonious nonsense. Again, I'm not accusing you of that, anon, just acknowledging that a lot of people have tried to "help" me over the years not because they care, but because they don't want anyone criticizing RWBY and have realized that outright attacks haven't worked. But the reality is that you don't know me, or what I get out of RWBY, or what's an enjoyable way for me to spend my time. It's totally fine - and understandable - if you're upset that my recaps have grown more and more critical over the years, but the answer to that discomfort is to stop reading them. There's no constructive criticism to offer here, just an implied request for me to lie and say that I think the show is better written than it actually is... which isn't going to happen. You shouldn't be "afraid" to mention a positive take - the fandom is 99% positive takes - and if you don't like the idea of sending in an ask and me potentially disagreeing, there are thousands of other RWBY content creators who will give you an enthusiastic response. Yeah, it sucks that you can't read recaps overflowing with praise and it sucks that I can't write them, but that's due to RWBY making those major mistakes and allowing them to snowball for half a decade. As said, you claim to "hate" the show and provided a long list of its broad and far-reaching problems, anon. You should thus understand that the problem here is in RWBY being really badly written, not me acknowledging that it's really badly written.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas

[magicofthepen]

🦟 and/or 🐝 for the fanfiction ask game?

bug me for fic recs!

🦟 Recommend a fic that makes you smile! Fluffy, sweet, light-hearted, that sort of thing. :)

okay I am especially nudging this fic in your direction because it is a New Who fic but it is also a Romana fic (aka ~shoves my favorite character at you but in a familiar context~ 😊)

Nepotism, Probably by @grainjew: The Doctor left some loose ends hanging on Gallifrey after the events of Hell Bent. Luckily, he has a friend in Gallifreyan politics willing to clean up his messes.

“I'm calling as a courtesy,” Romana said, voice icy, “my Lord President of Gallifrey.”

“Oh?” said the Doctor, while Bill's brain scrambled to realign itself with the information that the Doctor was apparently President of multiple planets, for some godforsaken reason. He didn’t seem concerned with the fact that a very scary, very pretty, very angry woman was threatening him very politely, but that was a lot more normal.

“Yes. If you don't get back here ten minutes ago and do your job, I'm staging a coup.”

(yes it doesn’t work as a lighthearted one if Gallifrey is destroyed again but shhhh we’re ignoring that. we’re living in a post-Hell Bent world here. there are serious emotions yes but there are heartwarming bits and excellent banter and many funny lines and the brilliant combination of Twelve & Bill & Romana. this fic definitely makes me smile whenever I reread.)

🐝 Recommend a fic with great symbolism, or themes, something really clever, or like. just something you could write a whole literary essay about!

unreliable narrator by @owlinaminor: The most powerful person in the multiverse was once a literature major.

(I’m sure you’ve read this fic, it is The Lucretia Character Study Fic, but I have to mention it. and Lucretia is my favorite TAZ character and one of my all time favorites, and this is just an incredibly well-crafted piece of fiction. probably The Character Study Fic Of All Time for me personally. the way the unreliable narrator theme in particular builds until everything clicks into place at the climax with a line that never fails to Hit—it’s brilliant.)

#thanks for the ask!! #oflightningandstars #doctor who #taz #taz balance #fic #dw fic #taz fic #lucretia #romana

[shytastemakerthing]

hii!! U seem so cool- but anyway,, could i get a twisted wonderland match up? My grammar kinda sucks and my auto corrects off so😭

I would like for it to be more romantic, if thats ok! Also pls dont match me up with any of the 1st years since i would honestly just adopt them in twst😭

Sooo im an enfp 7w6, scorpio, green flag.. Yeahhh

But other than that,, (about to write a whole essay abt my personality) what abt my personality?

Soo im honestly kindaa uhm,, goldfish-like; i have a crap memory. and whenever in a serious situation, one where you need to stay on guard, i instantly calm down after someone cracks a joke and forget abt the whole situation.. So bcuz of that i get called "the goldfish of (gc name)" 🥲

But im really motherly and caring! I always take care of my loved ones like a nurse, so pretty much- im my friends personal nurse AND doctor (as someone who startes studying abt medical stuff when i was like 10,, young, ik) i also take care of stray animals whenever i get the chance. feeding them, taking care of their wounds, whatever! Im a good balance of childish and mature, though i fall more on the childish side! I honestly give out 'sad, wet cat' vibes at first, since i mostly spend time alone, sulking abt being alone, reading in the library alone.. but im the total opposite! Honestly kinda weird but in a good way? Super kind, and generous, and sympathetic, i always consider other peoples feelings first ofc! Honestly kind of a people pleaser🥲 softhearted person with anger issues huhu.. Also keyword 'with anger issues' because i can and will beat someone up who did one simple thing to make me mad, even if theyre like 6'2 IDGAF FIGHT ME IM 5'10 ITS NOT MUCH OF A DIFFERENCE🙄🙄 veryvery energetic or the opposite, depends. havent slept for like 2 weeks straight😇

Now I'll just say the exact words my friends said when i asked them what they thought of me-

"funny, cute, and she lavs astronomy ahhajaja" "ure the friend whos effortlessly funny but gay /j but srsly youre the friend whos funny but super girlboss whenever there are fights and uses emojis every sentence they send" "the fish i ate for dinner" "cute nmn, and fun too, but annoying sometimes😒" "youre literally just like your father but as a girl,, stubborn, charming, ignorant, brave.. And you even have the same facial feaures." "Soft girl vibes" "VOODOO DOLL SELLER IKAW"

And for my hobbies.. I have a lot tbh LEMME JUST-

Astronomy; stargazing.. IT GIVES ME SO MUCH PEACE OMG

Exploring; going to abandoned and apparently 'haunted' places brings me so much joy somehow

Dancing; practicing ballet but my friends drag me to learn the choreo of a kpop song😭

Singing; opera😻

Sports; BADMINTON, BASKETBALL, SOCCER, VOLLEYBALSLSMSJKAHSKXVJSDJ LOBVE THIS

Gaming; tbh i rarely do it anymore😭

Collecting; plushies, seashells, etc..

Art; SCULPTING, DIGITAL, TRADITIONAL, MUSIC, ETC. I CAN DO IT ALL OMGG

Thats all i think😔 I dont wanna waste ur time so thank you huhuu BYEE HAVE A GREAT YEAR MWAMWA

-lav hoshii

Hello and thank you for your request! Honestly I had a lot of fun reading over this and I believe I have just the guy for you so here we go!

I match you with.......

Floyd Leech

🦐 You two bounce off of each other so freaking much that it is insane. At this point, you're the most interesting person in his life and he isn't planning on letting you go ANY time soon and that's a fact.

🦐 Floyd is someone who butts heads with a lot of people, and I mean, a LOT of people. He's not one to shy away from a fight, even in those ones where he is clearly out numbered. It's more fun for him. But what he really loves is how you patch him up after each and every one. Sure, you badger him about all of these fights, but it's only because you care about him, and as you place a kiss to each wrap and bandaid, he can only hopelessly grin at you...... he is smitten.

🦐 Your memory isn't the best, and while Floyd seems like the aloof type, he is actually very smart, very perceptive, and has an excellent memory. He will remember anything you can't and it greatly comes in handy when needed.

🦐 Being with Floyd, also means you will be seeing a lot of Jade. Sorry, they're a two for one package deal (Azul's words). And while his twin was highly skeptical of you at first (when is he not skeptical of someone?), just seeing you with Floyd, and all the shenanigans you both get up too and how you always take care of him, you're basically family now at this point.

🦐 He is in the basketball club! Which is perfect for you! You love basketball and you two have player 1v1 quite a lot. Just be careful, because he can and WILL get competitive. Also, if you wear his jersey to his games, he has this derpy smile the entire time and will be showing off just for you. He turns into an absolute beast on the court. You're now the good luck charm of the NRC basketball team and Ace and Jamil always make sure you're there.

🦐 He finds out early on in the relationship about your habit of collecting sea shells. Now, because of him that collection has expanded a great amount. Look, you're dating a merman, he can and will be going under the water to gather the best and biggest shells thay he can find for your ccollection. But your personal favorite is a little cream colored chipped clam shell. He brought that one back after finding it randomly on a walk and it is now the most cherished one in the collection.

🦐 The way your mood fluctuates matches how his does, and while it annoyed him at first (like, is this how Jade and Azul feel when his does that?), he was able to quickly find out what can set you off or change your mood and is able to quickly adjust accordingly. Though he will admit that you look pretty hot when you get angry and tackle someone twice your size.

🦐 He would absolutely love to go exploring with you. It can be boring, it can be dangerous, so much could happen that you just don't know and that's what makes it exciting! If you ever get bored of looking at the supposedly haunted houses, he'll happily supply a breathing potion and he can show you some really cool shipwrecks!

🦐 Overall, a relationship with the reckless eel with legs is nothing short of an adventure. You know you'll never be bored, he loves how considerate you are with him and how you take care of him. And Azul and Jade are beyond thankful that you can actually get him to focus on his work, only if you're there, though 😅

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst #matchups #twst imagines #disney twisted wonderland #romantic #twisted wonderland floyd #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech #twst floyd #floyd x reader #jade leech #azul ashengrotto

[thekaijudude]

I still think Decker is the worst series of all the New Gen.

Decker was a true mid for me, 5/10 which was the rating I gave last year iirc

Nothing was done that was neither really good nor really bad

Mainly its cause unlike Trigger, there's nothing really to expand upon since Dyna but to create a whole new story. And we knew Masayoshi was directing it, which also previously directed RB, which is probably the worst NG series imo (excluding Ginga s1 as a special case of course) so going in, I already had the expectation that the series has to hit the notes mainly on fight scenes, rather than plot

And true to my expectations, there is an improvement since RB, but of course in the grand scheme of things, it's still mid

Highlights iirc were the crossover episodes (Especially bringing back the Dark Giants, which is a significant contribution to the greater lore going forward) and of course the Dynamic Type arc

Tho it had the best NG movie imo, an NG alien invasion plot done right without any cringe content. Additionally, it contributed potentially one of the most significant aspects to the overall lore, that being Ultras having the ability to create whole new other ultras (wrote like 2 essay posts on it to emphasize just how significant this new development is to the lore as a whole)

RB was the worse for me, iirc I actively avoided watching the episodes until days later and sometimes even dreaded them, from cringe, awkward dialogue and acting, bad plot developments like Aizen leaving so abruptly, Saki being angsty without context and O50 reincarnations inconsistent with previously established O50 lore from Orb (specifically with the VoL), Asahi revealed to be the embodiment of the Makoto crystal? What? And why???

Also the Movie's theme was very forced and messy with introducing Toregia whose main theme and character motivations didn't really synergise with the concept of "family", so it's like watching a 2 different movies squeezed into 1, so much that the developments are non-sequitur. Which is obviously apparent since the movie WAS trying to link 2 unrelated goals, that is to introduce Toregia as a character and to make an RB Movie

After 6 years, I still stand by my opinion that they should've just done the RB Novel in live action instead of whatever we got for the series as it was far more interesting, serious and more consistent with the O50 lore that Orb established. Especially peeved that they wasted Saki as a character in that department since her character motivations were more solidly built in that context. But alas, as long as TsuPro continues to aim at children as the main audience, we aren't likely to get something like the Novel.

Also, because Asahi is still my most hated character in NG due to how cringe she is on virtually every single time she appears on screen. I distinctly remember just either mentally shutting off or just skipping past her dialogue, especially during rewatches.

Ginga s1 is obviously the special case since it was basically the franchise's hail mary attempt made with very low budget anyways, so it's understandable. Therefore no point really shitting on it at this point

So Decker at this point is the 5th worst NG series for me. But again, it's the true mid series for me as well.

#ultraman #asks

[lizziethat]

Outer Banks Episode 1 Thoughts (Part 1)

My notes are never-ending, I think I’m going to break this up into two separate posts, forgive me for my ramblings.

*We don’t talk enough about how effective the opening scene is at establishing the dynamics between the Pogues. Plus the chemistry! A+ setup scene, grabs you right away.

*JJ’s whole “I’m not much of a hugger” banter would be funnier if it weren’t TRUE.

*The intro to JJ is kinda perplexing, because we get shirtless JJ before we get anything else, and yet the description John B. gives isn’t exactly positive. It’s like they’re trying really hard to establish him as the bad boy of the group, but that really only lasts a few episodes, at most. So why try so hard? They release the entire season together, this is something that could have been changed on editing!!

*Kiara’s intro is also a treasure trove of moments to dissect, because despite the insistence that there was always a plan to go there with Pope, the little montage we see only has John B. and Kiara and then JJ and Kiara, almost exclusively. And fine, the John B. moments I get considering the setup for them early on, but JJ? How did they expect people not to read into it?! It was there all along!

*My favorite part of the Pope section of the opening montage is the moment where you sorta understand that John B. doesn’t really *get* Pope, but loves him nonetheless.

*Do these kids ever eat? I’m not sure how they could afford to, regularly, and I know we’re not supposed to worry about these things, but I DO.

*Literal hurricane and 2/4 of these kids have literally no parental figure who even cares, but all is well. 

*Kiara has an internal Pogue compass or something, she knew just where to be.

*There’s not one lick of self preservation between the four of them. And just one collective brain cell. It’s usually held by Kie. Or Pope. 

*It feels like the Pilot takes forever to introduce Sarah, and her intro isn’t all that interesting, in comparison. I remember thinking “and they want me to care about the rich girl because...?”

*Kiara very pointedly tells John B -- and only him -- to be careful, and JJ very pointedly notices. It’s ALL VERY WEIRD, because why is this episode so pointed about things we know are not happening (Kiara and John B) and also so pointed about things that will end up happening but they apparently never meant to set up.

*To establish “you are the one that’s always hitting on her,” from day one and then tell me that was meant to be nothing …yeah, right.

*I know we’ve talked a lot about the “I know that door is locked because I’ve tried it” comment, but had he really? I mean, he might have, but did he really mean it when he tried it? I don’t think he did, and I don’t think Kie thought he did. And it might not have been the right time anyway, but if she knew it wasn’t serious and he didn’t really mean it seriously, it’s not really trying.

*No, but seriously, what does it say about JJ that he grabs the gun before he grabs the money? Cause I could probably write an essay about this. He values safety for himself and the people he loves over money, despite the fact that he has nothing. And he would surely put the people he loves over himself.

*JJ gets all the grief for the bad ideas, but John B. as about 3/4 as bad as he is. He just looks more innocent next to JJ.

*When JJ talks about unlimited data plans like rich people shit, that’s when I go back to thinking about when these kids last ate a good meal. Everything is a luxury for them, maybe food is too.

*”Stupid things have good outcomes all the time”? Says who, JJ? SAYS WHO?

#outer banks #obx #obx season 1 #obx season 1 episode 1

[anghraine]

The first article is the 1979 essay “Pride and Prejudice: The Limits of Society” by James Sherry.

I can immediately see why I saved this one! Sherry spends the first few pages directly responding to the inescapable framing of P&P as essentially about society/tradition (represented by Darcy) vs individualism/energy (represented by Elizabeth) and the novel as a gradual reconciliation or integration of these apparent binaries. Sherry refers to some of the most influential of these (the first to come to mind for me was Alistair Duckworth’s The Improvement of the Estate and he quotes that directly), but it is such an incredibly common reading that it would have taken him pages to actually discuss them all, so he skims past pretty quickly.

In any case, Sherry is basically going “props to you all but ... no” for a couple of reasons. The first is that the whole dichotomy is contrary to Austen’s actual treatment of society, because she links society to sociability. If we’re going to go with the reconciliation of opposites narrative, then Elizabeth, who values sociability to the point of serious error and who repeatedly overlooks the particulars of people’s personalities and circumstances, should represent society, and Darcy, an intensely private person who defends his lack of sociability based on his specific personality traits and “the world” not really getting him, should represent individualism.

I actually wrote an entire seminar paper about this in my MA program, but to sum up, my opinion is that this framework doesn’t work either, because Darcy and Elizabeth are not actually opposites and they in fact share many values connected to both social and individualistic perspectives. However, I do think that pro-social Elizabeth vs individualistic Darcy does work better than the reverse and that Sherry is right to point that out.

Sherry also points out that reducing the characters to abstracts is not really the kind of novel that P&P is, anyway. I agree!

He also discusses how the structure of the first half of the novel seems to suggest (certainly to Elizabeth) that people can be understood through association, so you’ve kind of got Darcy/Bingley’s sisters/Lady Catherine/Mr Collins all reflecting on each other vs the nice pro-social group of Elizabeth/Wickham/Bingley/Fitzwilliam. These associations are not completely unfounded but do prove to be grossly inadequate.

(He doesn’t talk about it, but I think it’s interesting that the person Elizabeth loves most for much of the book, Jane, doesn’t really fit into either group. Jane is both very socially pleasant and proper, and very private and individualistic, and persistently sticks up for Darcy.)

He discusses how “propriety” is more complex in the usage of the time than the stuffy sense of the socially proper and basically has both social and individualistic elements. True!

He specifically addresses critical complaints about the novel going on so long after the Pemberley scenes, arguing that this is based on a fundamental misreading of Elizabeth’s and Darcy’s character arcs—their arcs are not complete at Pemberley! I was just talking about this, lol, though with different conclusions. He thinks it’s important for Darcy to engage with the social world with all its possibilities of ridicule and laughter and ordinary life rather than holding himself aloof, and that his involvement in the Lydia situation potentially opens him up to scorn and is undoubtedly distasteful to him, but he does it anyway.

This is certainly possible, though I think there are complications that go unaddressed. Also, I think that blaming Darcy for Wickham and Lydia’s behavior ignores that both Darcy and Elizabeth blame themselves too much by contrast to Wickham’s and Lydia’s total absence of shame, and that sensible Mrs Gardiner is like, you know, maybe the people who actually did the thing are the most responsible??? But while that particular conclusion is overly sweeping for me, I don’t think it’s wholly without merit or an invalid interpretation of the text.

The ultimate conclusion is that, while Darcy had some fair points and was misunderstood by Elizabeth’s original (also overly sweeping!) framework, his arc shows that P&P is ultimately favoring the pro-social over the individualistic perspective.

I personally think the novel is more balanced than that, that it doesn’t really buy into this dichotomous framework anyway (for the reasons stated above), and that any reading of the overall novel that comes to conclusions about what it’s saying based primarily on Darcy’s arc needs to at least address the fact that Darcy is not the protagonist of P&P and his arc is secondary to Elizabeth’s. Sherry doesn’t really discuss what’s going on with Elizabeth in the last third of the novel at all.

Obviously, I really like Darcy, I’m really interested in his character, he’s easily the most compelling and sympathetic male character in Austen for me, and I do think that, with the possible exception of Wentworth, he’s probably the most important of Austen’s men to the fundamental core of the novel that he appears in. All of Austen’s heroines end up married to a man, but that relationship is not always the real focus of the book—NA is as much concerned with novels and tropes and the Gothic as any particular character, S&S is much more interested in Elinor and Marianne’s relationship than either of their romances (I don’t think Marianne and Brandon even exchange any dialogue in the book), the focus of MP is more diffused across the cast at Mansfield Park, Emma is really focused on Emma herself, and Persuasion does have P&P’s attention to a central love story but it’s also got melancholy and messiness and such where P&P is very crisp and balanced. P&P is also the only Austen novel that gives really substantial, on-the-page arcs to both the heroine and the hero. So I do understand why some people are more inclined to treat Darcy’s arc as the key to what Austen is saying in P&P than they would be with, say, Mr Knightley. But still, meh.

So: I’m iffy on the conclusion and the over-emphasis on Darcy in terms of a general reading of P&P, but I do think he makes a lot of good points that were much needed at the time and could use more consideration even now.

#this is so much longer than i meant it to be! who could have guessed this would happen to me :P #anghraine babbles #austen blogging #ivory tower blogging #james sherry #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #austen fanwank #long post #jane bennet #anghraine's meta

[dolphinqueen10]

Gettin’ Into My Feels For RW&RB Chapter 9

Yall, this is serious.  I am on my DESKTOP instead of my mobile making this post.  I NEVER do this.

So....chapter 9, Red, White, and Royal Blue.  Let’s talk about it. Mostly about the lake trip.

First, I’m thrilled at the reaction Alex got from both parents after coming out to them as bisexual.  At least they walk the walk and don’t just talk the talk.  Ellen was a little harsh afterwards, but I absolutely understand where she’s coming from.  And I think her actions set the stage for what happens at the end of the chapter.

Without his mom’s campaign to distract him (as he so kindly points out to us later is a pattern for most of his adult life), Alex has to have a reckoning with himself and these inconvenient human feelings he’s been having for quite some time about a lot of things, but mostly Henry.  Trust me, I get it dude.  Literally I’m distracting myself with this silly essay instead of thinking about a therapy appointment I have later.

I digress. No distractions, so Alex is Figuring Out His Shit. Thank God.  Chaos Demons are fun but *exhausting*. So this lake vacation is well-timed and a good chance for Alex to think about the Henry Situation that he’s been avoiding thinking about for some time.

Alex and Oscar in the kitchen is going to be a special scene to me always I think.  We haven’t seen much of his parents yet, but this interaction....in a safe space, away from prying eyes, immersed in their family traditions and their heritage....it just makes me happy to picture them speaking in rapid-fire Spanish, because that’s how his dad first speaks to him about what’s on Alex’s mind. I like to think they continue the whole conversation in Spanish, it just feels more personal and intimate.  And I kinda have a language kink.  Sue me.

Oscar bringing up Raf’s apparent betrayal first was a nice touch, like he’s easing Alex into talking about what’s really bothering him while also getting him to talk about something smaller that he knows is ALSO a problem. Alex has not forgotten the conversation he overheard in the housekeeper’s office and neither have I, and I am really looking forward to seeing how that plays out. I wonder if, when Oscar says, “You got a lot in common,” in reference to Rafael, if Oscar suspected, even back then, that Alex was bisexual.

Ugh....re-reading over Oscar’s musings about Ellen after the ending of this chapter makes me nauseous.  He still loves her, but it wasn’t enough to keep them together. From the beginning, I have worried about that with Alex and Henry.  There are so many factors working against them.  And while I still believe in the happy ending, right now it’s going to take some bravery from both of them to fix things.

I am ashamed of myself for the gooey heart-eyes I get every time I think about Alex cozied up to Henry by the campfire, listening to “Annie’s Song” on an acoustic guitar played by June, kissing Henry and admitting consciously to himself that he is in love.  And it’s like....once he admits it, he CANNOT ignore it.  He lights a spark that will not be tamed, will not be put out, will consume everything and I AM HERE FOR IT.

I wonder when Henry caught on to how Alex was feeling.  Cuddled up by the campfire? Catching him in the kitchen making breakfast?  Or, more likely, when they are skinny dipping in the lake, face-to-face, and Alex shares his fantasy of their life together after inauguration.  After.  Inauguration .  He’s so caught up in his own feelings that he forgets Henry’s situation.  Nothing will change for Henry after inauguration.  Henry doesn’t have the freedom to indulge any romantic fantasies he may be harboring during this trip or since he met Alex (and we know this bastard has romantic fantasies.  We know). Henry has loved Alex probably as long as Alex has loved Henry, in my opinion.  I am curious as to how long he’s admitted that to himself though. Looking forward to finding out.

Aaaaaah....I knew the minute Henry ducked under the water that he was going to be a runner.  It breaks my heart but I totally understand it (and I see now why @welcometololaland said that Alex had things in common with Carlos Reyes). This is all speculation on my part from here on out, but Henry probably knows way better than Alex what kind of obstacles they’ll be facing, now or after inauguration.  Henry isn’t there yet; he’s not ready to toss his established life away just for love. Hell, maybe Henry isn’t even ready to admit to himself that this IS love.  Yeah, I still need Henry’s POV for this entire fucking book.

I have a feeling the next chapter is going to crush me.  I am so ready for it.  

#red white and royal blue #in my feels about it #rwrb

[monstersinthecosmos]

Do you have a theory why Armand's casting is so under wraps even though they have filmed footage? Apparently he's not book accurate and revealing the casting would be a huge spoiler. Do you have any theories how his character has been changed (at least physically)?

all right like tbh I never got to the bottom of where that rumor came from and I'm not sure if it's true, so ONE OPTION is that it's nonsense, it's bullshit, they didn't cast him at all yet bc he's not gonna be around until Season 2. And like, unless there's some MASSIVE thing that we didnt hear about, this production was leakier than the fuckin Titanic so I just don't know if they could've kept it under wraps this long. Like so far the most plausible conspiracy was the Alex Garfin sightings and he has THE LOOK but like, I'm not sure why they'd keep it a secret, especially because it doesn't feel like they're treasuring Armand as a character to prioritize in this universe.

But if the thing IS a spoiler, I think like, the only ways simply learning who he is could be a spoiler is if it's like someone they've cast as a red herring playing a different character (Rashid) or like, it's SO dramatically different that they want the reveal to be more exciting, like if he's been changed to a woman. Again like, at this point I don't think they're shy about not being book accurate so I don't know why it would be a secret if it's dramatically different. They've prided themselves on being dramatically different so far.

Either way I don't see him being book accurate; it's not an aesthetic issue as much as it's a storytelling issue. And even if he has the same backstory and personality and everything like, the entire timeline is so fucked up along with the other characters that he'd be serving a different narrative function. Like I'm curious to see what else will happen between Louis & Lestat but Lestat in this is sharing vampire information, has told Louis about his mortal life, and Louis has vampire powers! So even if he still heads to Europe on a quest for spiritual knowledge, it's not going to look the same in terms of Armand being a mentor figure. (Like I'm sure they could come up with another way for Armand to be a mentor or even just a breath of fresh air after Lestat's fucking nonsense so idk.) There's also just not enough time for Armand to have his relationships with Louis and Daniel in a truncated timeline, or least, it won't carry the same weight if you take a 70 year relationship and squash it into 20 or whatever.

Like, they're vampires, don't fuck me around with a 20 year relationship LOL humans can do that. Get serious!

As for theories, honestly I couldn't fuckin tell ya dude like this entire show is doing whatever the fuck it wants. 😂 I wouldn't be surprised if they aged him up since all the other characters have been aged up. 😂😂

(I almost started a side essay about why I think Armand's age is fucking important to who he is as a person and creates a really beautiful texture with regards to the theme of his lost innocence and barbaric personality but that's not what you asked, I will 🤐)

But even making predictions about the ways the show is navigating themes about age and things like that, I don't completely have a grasp on it yet so I can't be sure. If he doesn't show up this season I might have different feelings, having seen the whole season. Like, depending what the show is trying to tell us about teens & sexuality, maybe they WOULDN'T age him up, maybe they'll go there. I need to see more about how they handle Claudia. And depending on how they want to handle the main ship, who knows if they'll introduce Armand as a Loustat wedge, and it might really change how they present him if he is/isn't going to be a love interest.

I think like when more patterns start emerging about the style of storytelling and what they're trying to tell us we'll be able to guess stuff like this, but as of now I'm just in the fuckin dark haha.

#vampire pajama party on amc

[empyrangel]

It really does suck to have one hobby that you’re pretty good at that your family knows about because it gets you branded as the “it” person to go to for anything related to that and people way overestimate the scope of your abilities. I’m a fantasy writer, I make up stories and characters and fit them together like puzzle pieces and put it on paper. sometimes I write poems. Sometimes essays or memoirs if I have something I want to talk about. I only write about what I’m interested in. That’s it, that’s the scope of my skills.

And yet, I’m constantly asked why I can’t ace all my boring text analysis essays. I’m asked to write articles. Help fill out paperwork. Because I’m good at a particular kind of writing it means I’m capable doing all that apparently?? And even if I was nobody’s even considered that maybe I wouldn’t like that. That maybe I don’t want to help with any bit of writing that anyone has or wants done. I think that, at least a little bit, they feel that just writing fantasy isn’t a “good/ serious/ worthwhile” use of my skills. Even though that’s literally all my skills are.

I’ve literally had a family friend ask me to write a biography about this woman from their hometown they thought had an interesting life. It was pretty interesting but that doesn’t mean I can write biographies well, or that I’d want to be the one to write her story. And it was a request/ demand too. I was like “Let’s say I did take this, how much would my compensation be?” And they said it wouldn’t be a commission they thought I’d just do it for them. Write you??? A whole book???? That I don’t want to write????? For free?

Nobody tells volcanologists “Hey you’re a scientist, why aren’t you working on solving cancer?” Why do I have to endure this I wish people would just leave me alone and let me write my cringy little fantasy stories in peace.

#constellation of words ✨ #writing

[mihrsuri]

A fictional tumblr post in my Tudors OT3 Cinematic Universe about the period in which Mary Tudor found out about the triad and her like, coming round and accepting it (in universe it’s historically uncertain if she knew at all but the common historical opinion these days is that she did)

Mary Rose Tudor is the real MVP of the early Tudor Dynasty in this essay I will

Okay there have been requests and I love talking about this whole thing so I’m gonna make a post. Firstly though, I’m going to give a disclaimer that none of this is certain, just like with any of the history around Mary Tudor’s knowledge of the triad but it’s extremely plausible.

So. In January 1539 we have a record of Mary going on a pilgrimage to Canterbury, where we are told that she spent ‘many hours praying and paid a great donation of money to the abbey’ (this is in the report of more than one ambassador as well as Mary’s own expense accounts) 

At the end of January she returns to court and apparently, all is well there - she continues to spend time with the King and Queen, she is doing all these normal things - receives ambassadors and there’s even a serious marriage proposal from the Portuguese Crown Prince, among others. Mary goes to visit her mother, her mother visits her at court. 

In around May, Mary goes to visit her namesake Aunt and stays until the end of July. Interestingly this is around the time Anne announces her pregnancy with William (in May)

In my professional historian opinion basically this is Mary’s year of FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. Oh…FUCK this is not the viewpoint I expected to end up at…FUCK.

To discuss. The pilgrimage after George is born (which we see in The Tudors when Mary has that moment in the church where she is like ‘Lord, why do you seem to be telling me to say naught, when everything I have been taught says that I should’) really does look like ‘I found out, I freaked out and after I’d apparently reassured my dad I wouldn’t be telling I pointedly go visit a cathedral to Have A Crisis At God. 

She has more crisis coming back because…she should be Hating. This should be awful. And..it’s not. And again, there’s nothing we know for certain but it just fits to me - the pilgrimage, the fact that she was praying A Lot More. 

(Also the moment when she bursts into tears when she’s told about the potential suitor in the Portuguese Crown Prince because WHAT THE FUCK. He’s handsome, powerful, young etc - if Mary wanted to mount a war against her father he would be a supporter but he’s still an option. She’s still being allowed to freely choose. 

The ‘My mothers” letter (not just for the ‘His Grace, The Duke of Essex is never not kind to me’ is So Interesting. 

The fact that when she returns from her aunts she goes to her father and they apparently come out of that conversation ‘embracing each other most tenderly as becomes any loving father and daughter’ and then she apparently asks Anne’s forgiveness for something. 

I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THOSE CONVERSATIONS WERE. 

Why has a time machine not happened I ask you. 

Mary never mentions it. Neither Anne or Henry ever mention it, which is extremely annoying.

#lil and her ridiculous aus #fic #ot3: political power trio #tudors ot3 verse reference #tv: the tudors