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#this hit me while i was driving here
glacierruler · 4 months
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I'm gonna be 19 in a few months.
I'm gonna make it to 19.
I never thought I was gonna make it to 19 when I was younger.
But now I'm almost there.
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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m00ngbin · 2 months
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Every time I see an out of state license plate on the back of the car that's causing ridiculous amounts of traffic in my town I go ballistic very quietly
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thepoetrytheorist · 29 days
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California girls are unforgettable.
California drivers make you fucking life flash before your eyes.
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imwritesometimes · 3 days
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need a bumper sticker that says 'driver is unarmed for your safety'
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ereborne · 4 months
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Song of the Day: December 29
"Easy Money Down In Texas" by Ray Wylie Hubbard (music video link bc it amuses me)
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floraleevee · 5 months
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I live in a city that’s got a lot of accommodations for cyclists except no one here gives us the space we need so biking to work every day is so goddam stressful
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bibleofficial · 1 year
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lmfao ridiculously fucked up for 7pm 😭😭
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siobhanromee · 8 months
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had the most miserable experience today.
#Got invited to the party of someone I know and like well enough. And it ended up being a lot of people younger than me which is fine#But I also felt a little left out#And it wasnt like the kind of younger than me where they like need help playing the games and stuff#Oh also all of them were from a church youth group so that adds something#And I wanted to leave at 5:30. But my sister wanted to stay a while longer so we stayed.#And somehow my brother showed up#Well I know how he got there but he wasnt supposed to come#But I had to wait even longer since there were then 3 people I had to take home. But my brother told me he wanted us to go to the store to#buy a plushie for his girlfriend#Which on the surface is very cute. But it actually sucks bc his girlfriend is a secret.#And on the way to the store. I already wanted to go home but the party host called my sister bc my sibling left their phone at the party#And my sister said 'oh we will just turn around' but I was eager to get home and I said to the sibling who lost their phone that they shoul#pay me a couple buck s for the gas to make a return trip to the party. Also I had eaten a cookie that was contaminated somehow while I was#driving so here I was trying to coordinate getting the phone back and also trying to not ingest the rancid tasting cookie AND trying todriv#And I ended up hitting the curb loudly while getting into the parking lot at the store. My sibling who lost their phone got out of the car#And started to walk away. I raced after them and they told me that they were just going to go home#I told them no way in hell was I letting them go in the dark by themselves with no phone. They did agree to come back with the rest of us.#but very grudgingly#We got the plush of fucking course he picked the most massive one. And I had to pay bc he didnt have cash on him. And I cant even vent to m#mom abt this bc explaining this would mean letting out abt my brothers girlfriend and he already fucking hates me so that would only make y#Life worse. And I dont know how he has a girlfriend bc he is so mean to me and I dont know why anyone would find him compelling#And hes 5 years younger than me and I've never dated. I'm not exactly in a rush to date but I'd like to have SOME experience.#And hes been dating her for a while too. I told him he cant just have this covered for him forever hes gonna have to come clean one day#And so I'm reeling and having an awful time mentally bc I think I've severely hurt the feelings of the one sibling who likes me#And I had to go to the store when I really just wanted to go home and I had my sister giving pointed comments abt my decisions and the fact#Might have been poisoned by a rancid cookie and I have no one to tell abt this and to top it all off I feel like none of them even understa#How incredibly stressful and awful this made me feel#I am simply not going to take them places for the next month unless I absolutely have to#Bc thats the only power I have in this situation#Also my most minor guilt is I set out to post less vents on tumblr. And this is a vent so :(
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svtskneecaps · 1 year
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btw we're dancing ever closer to a large milestone so. congrats. this is terrifying. where did you people come from. how are you still here.
#are the blogs still active#hey. hey. i'm poking you with a stick. do something.#not kpop#shut up vic#anyway i was kicking around an idea where i do like. '1k for 1k' where i post 1k of assorted drafts that died in my google drive#i'd leave it up to audience prompting but ngl i'd never get any lmfao so. it would be mostly my discretion with optional participation#it won't be for a while yet unless i can actually finish a piece for seventeen in the next six months (unlikely)#but i've been thinking about it#somehow people keep managing to find this blog which. how???#i haven't posted in a seventeen tag (purposefully) in almost a year#sorry if this is showing up in the tag btw i didn't mean to but i didn't think about it until right now and i can't edit tags rip#anyway idk where you people are coming from but you're welcome here#maybe one day i'll post writing again#i just got so averse to posting unfinished projects bc then they just. haunt me. especially if i end up needing to go back and edit#wit of the staircase and all that. i hit my stride in the second act and have to go back to fix the first#but you can't edit what's already been posted easily so. no wips leave my google drive.#plus they're mostly horridly self-serving and i'm the one being served so idk if anyone else could enjoy them#my current wip is a stress fic that developed a plot and i'm going to have to edit down the wish fulfillment if i ever post it#but that requires replacing multiple conversations and that's A Lot#anyway tag ramble over i just. think about things. wanted to check in lads.#if you're reading this i appreciate you also how the fuck did you find me#please tell me i'm genuinely so curious anon should be on no one will ever know please tell me please
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cuntwrap--supreme · 2 years
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Hi. Hello. Is it too much to ask for people getting onto the interstate to stay in their FUCKING LANE while merging? Yes, I realize there are two lanes getting on this particular ramp. You cannot occupy both at once, because then I have the option of hitting you or hitting a fucking concrete wall, and you bet your ass that I'll cut in front of you going 80 and slam into a dead stop in front of you.
Thanks.
-this post is brought to you by Leon's roadrage
#i 100% cut in front of this bitch and dead stopped. she in turn lost control and went off the road#hope she died. don't care. fight me.#you're not going to try to hit me in your shitty 1990s minivan because you're too fucked up on pain pills to drive#my car is the nicest thing I've ever owned. if you hit me you're going to the hospital. i will kill someone if they hit me.#she's fine and i know she is because she got back on the road and almost hit another driver doing so but goddamn.#is it too much to ask that bad drivers die in a fire? I'll bring the napalm.#realtime fuck around and find out situation. i have the rage. you bring the stupidfuckery#you cannot convince me this isn't ab appropriate reaction. if you try to vehicular manslaughter me through negligence you no longer matter#if you're too stupid to drive stay off the road. can't even count how many times losers on their phones have almost killed me#but here's the fun thing: I'm in control. i know how to drive because I'm not an idiot.#I'm not out here operating a deadly chunk of metal while impaired or texting. if you do that i hope you die. sorry. get fucked.#i have no sympathy for people who willingly endanger others. if you don't know how to drive this isn't about you.#unless you're the kind of person who can't drive but does so anyway. bonus fuck you points if you think that's cute of you#fully convinced old people need yearly assessments too because it's almost always old people#old people too gone to have spatial awareness. middle aged people fucked up on drugs. or young kids texting.#but here's the fun fact. I'm an equal opportunity hater. i will brake check you regardless#and you'll be shitting yourself meanwhile rage clears my mind so I'll be fine. I'll be gone before you can process what's going on#if you think this is horrible of me you can fuck right off. block me. if you think risking lives while driving is ok you're an idiot#block me ya stupid fucks. if that's a problem i don't care.
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tsubasaclones · 2 years
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My opinion on touch screens in cars is like, for gps/map and showing where you're backing up? That's fine but keep everything else the way it was like buttons and shit
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beaversatemygrandma · 2 years
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Hey google, how do I make my dinged up ‘05 Camry as terrifying on the road as a semi or squatted truck?
#taks speaks#im gonna have the energy of a hummer driver in this fucked up little thing#all the while driving the speed limit to a point where i give people who drive 75 on a city road road rage#my dad says to go the madmax route#give it spikes.#nobody will ever try to cut me off again out of fear of getting their bumper speared#just ignore the giant rusty dent on the roof and the hail damage. theyre battle scars.#and all damage from the elements bc nature hates me apparently#and the entire duke energy company fucking sucks bc they dont take care of the trees by the power lines out here#and causes massive branches to fall into the street. destroying cars. knocking out power. near daily.#AND ITS BEEN MONTHS AND THEY WONT RETURN OUR CALLS#my dad is going full karen with this thing and literally. the trees out there have gotten worse in the time.#there's a fallen tree literally balancing on a power line and as soon as winter hits this entire part of town will lose power#who owns the property its their fault? its the city electric company. and they suck.#at least back in fl fpl was really quick and giving#but damn. duke. fuck off.#fpl is the company that comes over and is like 'yeah theres a leaf on this line. lemme get that for you'#duke will watch a tree fall on your house and just say 'shouldnt have built your house so close to a tree'#its been months and im still mad about this tbh lmao#anywho side project of madmaxxing a shitty little camry#first steps are still the headliner and replacing the stereo with one that either has an aux port or bluetooth#bc if i have to listen to nascar instead of the usual rock alt on the radio again im gonna scream#(i doubt im doing all that but i need this thing to not look like scrap metal)#(and continue to get cut off by some dickhead in a truck and have to slam on the breaks on the fucking highway bc he was an inch off me)#i've never had road rage. but fuck. THAT gave me rage.#and heart palpitations tbh#im just glad the BIG Squatted trucks are illegal in this state. you cant see over the hood and its unsafe#that one was still ridiculous and theres no way in hell he didnt see me#idk but i want them to fear me as i drive like a safe old person#my goals are the energy of a little grandma with a gun whose not afraid to fuck somebody up
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thedevotionaltour · 2 months
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in terms of art alone im sorry. im a jrjr defender to my last breath you be fucking nice to him. i dont wanna hear shit❗️❗️❗️
#can someone also get him better inkers rn i am begging. pleading even. HE MAKES GOOD STUFF THEY JUST GIVE HIM SHIT INKERS WHO DONT GET IT.#MY FIRM BELIEF. im sorry. i like his stuff. there are certain things not quite my taste but i think he does good overall im a fan. BE NICE#static.soundz#sorry that last post was so directly inspired by seeing someone go can u guys be nice he is on a fucking nutbag schedule. which he is.#i dont think some people understand the insanity of comic production. and how much it takes a toll on you.#many have said and i will say it too: comics is a killing industry. it is a beautiful fun job. it is fulfilling. it will also destroy you.#the most common and easiest to use example is in fact the manga industry. they want chapters in a week. 20 page type chapters in a week.#A WEEK!!! and currently look at things like webtoon as well which also expect the same amount of pages. in a week. an issue in a week#is an insane demand. it is an unreasonable demand. it is scheduling that leads you to a crash and burnout and health issues#because it is fully finished polished pages. as much as i poke and complain about how some things look there#i am also highly aware of production schedules. even if some styles are not my taste that still doesnt mean it isnt insane work#and it's the same in american big industry comics too. it isnt weekly demand the way those are. but it's still an intense schedule#you are working on pages and can get behind years before those comics even hit shelves.#and as it becomes more individualized too as we lose the team element and work becomes more one person doing all pencils and inks#that schedule is a lot. it just is. it doesnt matter if theres more time in comparison to other parts of the industry#the point is that it is all very demanding and exploitative. there is a drive yourself to your grave mentality here and i've had ppl try#to shove that mindset onto my and my peers which is the worst thing possible to encourage. highly alarming and disheartening to encourage#impressionable students already so worried about making it to drive themselves to an early grave. abuse substances to get through work.#work excessive hours while you still can because when you hit your 30s youre gonna lose that ability#become bitter and prepared for rejection as opposed to success because this industry sucks!#it's just such an unhealthy depressing mindset. i've had more artists preach the exact opposite as that and more ppl have been trying to#shift over to valuing your time and health. but still a lot of people are in that other mentality. and it's very very very sad.#i am only a student doing very low stakes homework for classes. i have no industry experience. and i still get it taken out of me#to do fully fledged out pages in my style in one week. this is also just a thing for me bc certain personal factors just make it hard#but still. comics are fun. they are fun. they are fulfilling. they will lead you to so many fucking issues if you are not highly careful#there is a reason why so so so many fucking comic artists have very well known issues. why you hear about so many ppl with substance issues#artists with very poor mental health. when you are in comics this is how it is.#i am glad there has been a big shift in recent years towards taking care of yourself as an artist. and that more ppl try to value it so tha#things can hopefully change at large in a broader sense. but please remember. we are an exploited chew up spit out industry too.
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ravenwolfie97 · 5 months
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hey brain can you stop stressing out about things that aren't even really happening thank you
#my dream was weird again#pretty unusual in the sense that i was driving a lot#i kept having to go back down this one road and make a left into this neighborhood#so that i could get more food stuff#since i was supposed to be leaving for a long while#apparently also at some point i end up communicating with my mom probably on the phone or smth#and it hits me that i had been in a hotel and all of my stuff was still in there. like ALL of it#and it was like 3pm so it was well past checkout time#so then i start freaking out and my mom starts getting mad bc im stupid#and that last-minute stress was what woke me up n prompted this#i just really hate my brain stressing out over things that aren't real. like all the school/college dreams#where i keep like forgetting i have class things right before a deadline and i have been neglecting it and ill be held back#which by the way Never Fucking Happened in real life#i only neglected one class on purpose bc i was depressed as fuck and the only other scenario was the one i did in 2 days post covid#which truth be told was pretty stressful but i was so filled with adrenaline i was not even freaking out i was just Doing#but the hotel thing with leaving halfway before realizing i just kept my shit unpacked and sprawled out#leaving without even checking out or realizing i had nothing at all with me to move back with#nothing of the sort would ever happen in real life. i was so good about stuff like that especially for hotels on the move here#idk im so tired and i do not want to write on my phone anymore im not awake enough to deal w this
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luveline · 3 months
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𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥���𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
Spencer calls you drunk and in need of rescue. You confess a few secrets to him while he won’t remember them (or so you think). 3k, fem
cw drunk!spencer, mentioned past drug use, confident/bombshell!reader, flirting, spencer getting some well deserved comfort, a handful of his drunken compliments, insecurity, intense mutual pining
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
You’re blissfully sleeping in the arms of a REM cycle when your phone rings. It pulls you by the chest, a punch of shock and expectancy at once. It’ll be someone calling you into work, Hotch himself if you’re lucky. 
You search blindly for your phone. If you’re even luckier, it’ll be a wrong number. Your fingers curl around the little body of your phone and you bring it to your ear without checking the number, frazzled. “Hello?” you ask hoarsely. 
Total quiet. 
“Hello?” You pull the screen away. The caller reads: SPENCER. You pull it back rather than hang up. “Hey, Spencer. Are you there?” 
“Hello.” He laughs. “Hello, are you there?” 
“I’m here, Spencer, where are you?” 
“That’s an interesting question, actually, and I’m sure there’s a great answer, but…” 
“But what?” You sit up quickly, your throat aching with sleep. Your room is black as coal pitch. “Spencer, what time is it, my love?” 
“You shouldn’t call me stuff like that.” 
“Stop being weird and tell me where you are.” 
He laughs like a hyena. You can see it in your mind, his smile and all his pearly perfect teeth. You love it when he smiles like that and he rarely ever does. “I’m somewhere and I need your help getting home!” he says with another funny laugh. 
“Are you alright? You sound…” He sounds inebriated. 
Spencer struggled with his drug problem for so long before you found out. You just hadn’t been around enough, and when you were he’d gotten good at hiding it. You can still remember how furious you’d been with everyone, including him, because you could’ve helped, would’ve done anything to support him through it. If he’s hurting now and hasn’t told you, you love him, but you’ll be insanely angry. 
“Spencer?” you ask quietly. 
“I went for drinks with a girl but she didn’t like me and I may have drowned my sorrows too much,” he admits. “Um. Did you know gin is very strong?” 
“Aw, baby. You’re cheating on me?” 
“I’m afraid so,” he says, and hiccups. 
“Where are you?” 
After some hassle wherein you persuade Spencer to give the phone to someone else in the bar for a slightly less drunk interrogation, you dress and gather your bearings for the drive. You zip a hoodie up over your pyjamas, stuff your feet into some old converse, and set out into the dark to find him. 
He calls you again as you’re parking. “Hello,” he says as soon as you answered. “I need you to come and get me.” 
Spencer called you twice to save him. Even if he doesn’t remember, he’s called you to come and get him when he knows he needs help, and that realisation is hard to ignore. “Spencer, I’m two minutes away, I’m parking. You’re still where you were?” 
“Where was I?” 
“At the bar, sweetheart. Are you still there?” It’s scarily dark out and you didn’t grab any sort of defensive measure before you came, which you regret now, climbing out of your car to walk the dimly lit road. The bar glows like a beacon to be followed. 
“Still where?” 
“Did you hit your head?” 
“Not to my knowledge. Though I’m not sure I have much right now. I feel like I’m forgetting everything I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot. You know I can read about eighty average length novels in one hour on an e-reader? The buttons make it faster.” 
“You haven’t told me that before.” You shiver against the nighttime winds, footsteps heavy on the grey sidewalk. 
“I’m trying to be more conversational. Emily says it’s not working.” 
“You’re conversational. Isn’t the only condition of being conversational to prompt a conversation? We’re always talking.” 
“…What?” 
You laugh like crazy. “Spencer, you don’t need to change the way you talk.” 
“I annoy people.” 
“You don’t annoy me.” 
You approach the door of the bar, a ramshackle sheet of plywood over what looks to be a glass door. The bar building seems in similar dessaray, with modern features wrecked by scratches and smashed panes. It’s a real dive. Spencer couldn’t have meant to come here. 
You war with both hands to open the door and find yourself faced with a long and empty corridor leading to another door. Worried you’re going to get kidnapped, you bring the phone back to your ear, Spencer’s chatting an immediate greeting. “…telling me I’m doing something wrong without telling me what it is, it’s impossible.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, can you come to the door?” 
“I don’t think I have control of my legs,” he says without inflection. 
“It’s definitely the building with the smashed door?” 
“Yesssss. Are you here?” he asks excitedly. 
“I better not get murdered, Spencer Reid.” 
“Am I in trouble?” 
“How are you even keeping the phone to your ear right now?” 
“I’m on speaker phone. Milly showed me how to do it. Say hi, Milly.” 
“Hi Milly,” a new voice says. 
You rub your eyes with one hand and square your shoulders, prepared to defend yourself if the creepy door leads to a creepier room. 
Spencer is immediately visible from the get go. You open the door on to a rather cosy looking bar, which you’re thinking might be the whole point; wretched exterior, secret attraction. Warm orange light ebbs into the space from sconces and a faux fireplace, while a wrestling match playing from the small TV behind the bar casts brighter light down onto Spencer’s shoulders. He looks out of place, dressed in a white oxford shirt and a suit jacket, his tie loosened and hanging from either side of his neck, compared to the lingering patrons who sit dotted around the room in booths and on barstools. One such patron sits in a plaid shirt and a trucker hat, her hair to her back, thick and dark. 
You hang up the call and put your phone in your pocket. Spencer gasps like he’s been smacked and picks his own phone up from the bar, clicking at buttons with clumsy fingers. “No,” he hums sadly. 
“Spencer,” you say, not wanting to disturb the people spending their sorry-looking night here. “Spencer. Hey, Spence!” 
His phone tips between his fingers. The woman you assume to be Milly catches it and offers it back without looking too far from her beer. 
“Hey,” you say gently, crossing a wide empty space to meet him. The room itself is shaped like a horseshoe, the bar taking up a surprising amount in the centre, and booths and tables placed around it. Spencer’s off of his barstool as you approach, eyes like puppy dog’s, arms extended. “You okay?” you ask. 
You can feel eyes on you both from every angle, but it doesn’t matter, not when Spencer’s falling into your arms (or on to them —he’s surprisingly tall when you aren’t wearing heels). “You alright?” you ask again. 
“You don’t have to be worried, I’m fine.” 
He’s less coordinated in real life than he’d sounded over the phone, his slurring unmissable, his hands like jumping fish as he tries to hug you. It’s weird and straining to take his weight but you do it without complaint. He smells the same, at least, only his cedary cologne is sharpened by the tang of gin on his breath. 
“Thank god you’re here,” he whispers. 
“Why?” you ask, pulling away to check for danger. 
“I missed you.” 
“I missed you too, handsome,” you say, genuine but laying it on thick simultaneously as you ease his head back to cup his cheek. You can’t help yourself. He’s the prettiest man you’ve ever met, and it gets worse every year. 
He frowns at you deeply. “I don’t like first dates.” 
“Then don’t go on them,” you suggest, “you don’t need to until you’re ready.” 
“I’m ready for love,” he says. You pull your lips into a flattened line, unsure of what to say, how to explain that it’s waiting for him, but his chin dips towards his neck and his eyes lock onto your face. “You’re not wearing makeup. God, you’re so pretty.” 
You flinch away from him. “Fuck, Spencer.”
“I’m sorry! It’s not that you don’t look pretty with makeup, but I never see you without it!” 
You’d forgotten you weren’t wearing any. Makeup isn’t a shield, exactly, but you like putting your best foot forward, so to speak. You’ve no clue what you look like tonight, hadn’t managed to look in the mirror, you’d been focused on getting to Spencer before he got lost. You can imagine the puffiness.
Spencer touches your cheek. You let him turn you mostly because he’s surprised you, his eyes roving up and down your face with a fawning curiosity. 
“You’re beautiful. You know that already, but people don’t tell you enough,” he says, his hand falling from your cheek. 
“Spencer,” you say softly, “let’s get you home.” 
You thank Milly for her help and grab Spencer’s bag from the floor to hang on your shoulder. You’d make a joke about how heavy it was if you didn’t think he’d take it from you, and, considering how drunk he is, topple over from the imbalance it provides. His shirt is clammy where you push your hand through his arm to link them, his footsteps wobbly. 
“I didn’t want to go on a date,” he says. 
“Then why did you go?” you ask, helping him over the door jam into the long hallway. 
“I don’t want to be alone forever.” 
“Spencer, you won’t be.” It doesn’t feel like the best time to bring up how much you like him. You’re sure he thinks you’re kidding, doesn’t everybody? Don’t torture him, they say. Don’t toy with him. Every time you flirt with him the team acts like you can’t mean it, and for a while it worked for you; you weren’t in love with Spencer. You weren’t playing with his feelings, but you didn’t love him, and then you joined the team and got to know him, watched him fluster at every comment you made or under any soft looking and realised you could love him. It was easy to fall for him. You liked doing it. But now he’s determined to write your affection off as a joke and going on dates? 
In the morning, when he’s sober, you’ll have to tell him how you feel. Or you could let him find someone more like him… ugh. It’s such a mess. 
You grapple with the size of your feelings for him as he hums and laughs his way down the hall to the glass door. On the street, he squints and straightens his back, fighting to regain his arm from your hold to cover your shoulder instead. “It’s cold,” he says in surprise. “You okay?” 
“I’m fine, I got my jacket. It’s a short walk, come on.”
His arm stops acting as protection and starts to use you for support. “I didn’t mean to drink so much.” 
“Drowning your sorrows is always a terrible idea because it tends to work,” you lament, less scared of the dark with him at your hip, though what protection he might offer is negated by the alcohol. 
“She kind of looked like you.” 
You squeeze your eyes together quickly. “Oh.” 
“I didn’t know she was going to. But she didn’t– she didn’t– it’s hard to talk. She didn’t listen like you do,” he says, lightly slurring, “she just stared at me like everyone used to in high school. Like she could tell there’s something wrong with me.” 
“Spencer, there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I know,” he says. 
“Do you?” 
“Yes.” He frowns. “No, I don’t know. I don’t feel like there’s something wrong with me,” —his voice turns to a nearly indistinguishable mumble— “but everyone else always does.” 
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you.” 
“Is that why you make all your jokes?” 
“What jokes, babe?” 
“Like that! Like babe. It’s funny ‘cos you’d never date me.” 
You’d slow if he weren’t already walking at a snail's pace. “That’s not true. Let’s talk about it in the morning, okay?” 
“I won’t remember to ask you in the morning.” 
“Spencer, you remember everything.” 
He drags his feet. “I wish I wasn’t so weird,” he whines. It’s playful at the forefront but desperate otherwise, and it gives you pause. “I wish I was normal, and you could like me normal.” 
You look down at your hands, panicking, a flash of Is this a good idea? like an alarm in your head as you turn on the sidewalk to face him. He’s looking at you like he’s begging you to disagree with him. 
You’re happy to. 
“Spencer, I like you like this,” you insist loudly. His eyes and all his sweet lashes track the movement of your hand as you touch your chest, and your neck. “You’re not normal, I’m not normal. Do you know how many times I’ve been rejected? Just for being me? I’m too bossy, too outspoken, too– too high maintenance. I've had friends with good intentions tell me I need to lower my standards, need to relax, because otherwise I’m going to end up alone for the rest of my life. I feel alone all the time.”
“But you’re perfect,” he says, puzzled. 
“To you. And you’re perfect to me.” Your hand crawls to the base of your throat. “So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. You think I’d come and get anybody else in the middle of the night dressed like this?” you ask him, gesturing to your ratty pyjamas and your dingy converse. 
“You look so cute,” he says mournfully. 
You roll your eyes. He’s too wasted for this conversation. “Come on, sweetheart. You can think about this too much in the morning. Let’s just get home in one piece.” Physically and emotionally. 
“Can I come home with you?” he asks. 
That had always been the plan. “Ask me nicely and I’ll consider it on the way.” 
— — 
Spencer shuts his eyes, hands itching to clap over his ears as you scratch the head of a spatula across your frying pan. “Is three eggs too many? People usually have two but that’s never enough for me.” 
“I think…” Oh my god the metal screeching is so loud. “You should have as many as you want. You know your body. There’s this study on intuitive eating…” I'm too hungover for this. “Three eggs is better than two.” 
“So you want three?” 
He cannot eat right now. “Yes. Please.” 
Spencer’s half sick with dehydration and half grief. He stayed at your house last night and he was too drunk to be nosy. He slept in your bed. He slept in your bed. He woke up to you at your vanity doing your hair, the nutty smell of hair oil mixed with the heat of the hair tool on high and realised with a start that he’d missed something he thought about all the time. 
You’d tipped your head back to smile at him. “There’s my boy. Sweet dreams?” 
He didn’t dream, but if he had, it would’ve been another agonising wish where you were his girlfriend, or his wife, or just there looking at him with love. He wakes up feeling sick because it isn’t true. And now you’re making him breakfast, humming a tune under your breath, sourdough sizzling under the grill and a shoddily blended avocado sitting in the bowl in front of him. 
You asked him for one thing. He picks up the fork and starts to mash the avocado again. He can’t fight the foreignness of sitting in your kitchen, a gap in his memory. 
He knows he told you about his date, how she looked like you, how she didn’t seem to like him much, but he’s struggling to collect the finer details. Why had you picked him up? He must’ve called you, but you could’ve said no. He remembers thinking you looked beautiful, but he always thinks that. 
The avocado is making him feel sick. 
“Here,” you say, sliding a plate of toast in front of him. “Do you want butter?” 
“I think I'm gonna throw up.” 
“You’re okay.”
“I can’t believe how I acted,” he says, pressing his palms to the hollows of his eyes. 
You turn off the hob. Fat bubbles and pops until it’s cooled. The clock on the wall by the refrigerator ticks incessantly. His slept-in shirt feels too tight despite the undone button. 
“Hey…” You round the island but don’t touch him, your voice gentle. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 
He drags his hands down his face. “I can barely remember what I said.” 
“You were really nice to me… told me I looked pretty without my makeup, n’ that I was perfect. You were really nice.” 
Your tone is off. No flirtatiousness, no endless confidence, you sound wistful, like you’re glad he said it. You take the bowl of avocado he’s made a mess with and put it aside with the toast, resting your arm on the counter, and leaning into his space. “Spencer, last night? You didn’t do anything to be embarrassed of. You were nice, and kind. You tried to open the car door for me and you almost lost your eye, but you were fine. You don’t have anything to be worried about, really.”
“But it’s you.” 
“Gonna touch your hair,” you say, giving him enough time to move away as you reach out and rake back his fringe. His heart leaps into his mouth. “You said something last night like that, you know? Do you remember that? You said if you were normal.” You grace the skin beside his eye with the tip of your thumb, your perfume floating his way as you move. “And I said–”
“I’m not normal,” he says, remembering now. 
You’re not normal, I’m not normal, you’d said.
But you’re perfect, he’d said. 
To you. And you’re perfect to me.
“Right. We’re not normal, Spencer Reid, so forget that girl. She didn’t deserve you anyways,” you say. 
You draw a short, silken line down his cheek with the side of your pinky. To be touched so lightly has his stomach in knots —he’s not shocked by the swiftness with which your affection can make a bad situation good again. 
You turn away. “Now we should eat before everything goes cold.” 
He watches your shoulders move, and he remembers one last detail. So don’t say you’re weird like it’s ugly, honey. And don’t think I don’t like you, ‘cos I do. 
The way you’d said it… you couldn’t really mean…
“How’s your appetite? Still feeling sick?” you ask. 
Spencer smiles to himself, the ghost of your touch glowing warm on his cheek. “I’m feeling a lot better, actually.” 
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
thank you for reading!!! please like/reblog or comment if you enjoyed, i appreciate anything and it always inspires me to write more<3!! my requests are pretty much always open for bombshell!reader (even though this one strays a bit from their usual story haha) so if you wanna see more let me know❤️
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