#I hope you get life threatening diarrhea tonight | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rainbow-hammock · 6 years

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Ok, I have to post the story of the psycho hamster lady I’ve been having to deal with at work the past few days because it is all just TOO MUCH.

But we have this client, right? She's got a hamster.

This client has been basically batshit from the start--she kept the receptionist that took her first call on the phone for at least 20 min telling her her whole life story about the terrible apartment building she's in, how her landlord's trying to evict her, having to be on disability, etc etc etc. So, basically red flags from the very beginning.

Anyway, we've seen this hamster a few times now for chronic diarrhea, apretty bad wet tail infection. And for whatever reason this lady is convinced that this hamster is going to live six years vs the normal 2-3, so she's attempting some treatment even though hammy's not improving. She calls the clinic all the time asking inane questions--can i feed her this, can she do this, etc.

Fast forward to Saturday: she calls because it sounds like the hamster is having trouble breathing when they go to feed it the critical care food we sent a few days prior. So, we tell her to bring the hamster in, and they do. They end up leaving the hamster with us, because she doesn't look terrible, but her breathing is a little funny, so we keep her to monitor.

The owner comes to pick up at 5:30 and leaves with hamster. Her neighbor, who has been helping her between her many things, calls a few minutes later asking if the water bottle is still there--keep in mind that when she brought the hamster in her little cage, the water bottle was completely separate!--but anyway, apparently the bottle is still at the clinic, and this lady is going PSYCHO about it!

The neighbor asks me if we can deliver it to them; I explain it's not something we normally do (what are we, a pizza place?), and they're located in a place that none of us are heading towards on our way home. And like, there at the clinic we're supposed to close in like 15 minutes and we have 2 appointments left to do. And it’s just myself, the doctor, and one other staff member, and both my coworker and I have to rely on transit to get around.

I tell the neighbor that we're open tomorrow, so we can keep it until then and they can pick it up tomorrow--does she have a spare bottle or a dish she can use in the meantime? Then the owner gets on the phone and starts SCREAMING at me; she’s threatening to sue us, saying she doesn't have time to come get it because of her hearing with her landlord stuff and blah blah blah blah blah...and i have three clients in front of me who can hear her screaming over the phone. Anyway, while trying to catch my breath because my heart is racing at this point, I tell her I want to help her and we'll do everything that we can to get the water bottle back to her soon, but I need to deliberate with the team to try and figure something out, so I’ll call her back in a few. After more arguing she hangs up.

Our vet, who overheard because it was basically impossible not to, says he'll drive it down there once our appointments are done. It’s now past 6 and we still have two appointments we’re trying to work through, but hey, he'll take it. So I'm literally about the pick up the phone to call her and tell this lady that our doctor is being very nice to out of his way to give them their stupid water bottle back, when my coworker picks up the phone.

It's the lady's friend. Who lives in an entirely different part of the province. As in, a solid 8+ hr drive away. He's not even involved, but this lady is apparently so distraught that, for whatever reason, she’s called him and has made him call us to find out about the stupid water bottle.

So my coworker explains to him that our vet is going to bring it to her, but we have other patients and appointments that we have to deal with first, so because the friend has mentioned that the owner doesn’t want us to call her, we'll call him when our vet is on his way.

This guy called us back at least 5 times because she kept insisting he find out when our vet was going. We had to keep telling him, we have appointments. We have patients in the hospital that need medical care. We will call you. We understand she's upset, we're sorry for everything she's going through with her hamster and all, but we cannot drop everything to deliver a water bottle. She’s going to get it back tonight, but WE WILL CALL YOU.

Now, my coworker had explained to the friend at the start of this conversation that, because we're supposed to be closed, she might not pick up; hence, we'll call them. At one point his call goes to voicemail. So he gets the emergency clinic’s number and calls them--because our voicemail message has their number listed in the event that someone's calling with an emergency, and apparently a missing water bottle is that much of an emergency.

Anyway, our vet eventually delivered it; we called the friend after he left. And then, like, 15 minutes later, he tried to call us again. Three times in a row.

We didn't answer, as it was almost 7pm and we were supposed to have been long gone. I texted our vet after that to make sure everything went ok with the drop-off. That’s when I found out that she was polite and apologetic to him--they’re always nice to the vets and it drives me up the fucking wall.

And that was only the second time that this client got irrationally upset about something small! She tore a strip off of someone because her phone kept disconnecting and she thought we were hanging up on her.

AND THEN YESTERDAY.

She called and my coworker picked up--the lady is screaming about how we're killing her hamster because we didn't give her a small enough syringe and that's why it has aspiration pneumonia. My poor coworker can't get a single word in before she hangs up. A few minutes later, her faithful friend from far away calls, because she is once again so upset she's making him call on her behalf.

We explain to him that she was given two syringes when we sent her with the critical care food--a large 10ml one for measuring out the water to mix with the powder, and a small 1ml to feed the mixture with. She should be using the 1ml we sent to feed with but it sounds like she's using the 10ml, from what he's saying. He calls her, then calls us back, and this time I take the call. She is adamant that we never gave her a 1ml syringe. I remind him that yes, she certainly did, but she or someone else can come get another one if they can't find it.

At one point in this conversation, he also asks me how old the hamster is, because they only live like 2-3 years right? I tell him yes, the hamster is almost two. He says he'll let the lady know that she can come get another syringe

A while later--shortly after my coworker left, so I'm now by myself up front--she storms into the clinic, hamster and all, and starts screaming at me about all the lies I/we have been telling.

She knows her hamster is not two, she'll be two in October, ok?! And going on about the stupid water bottle and how she's sure we were lying about all the emergencies on Saturday to cover for our carelessness over forgetting the water bottle. And in one sentence, telling us she never got a 1ml syringe and yet "neither" of the syringes we gave her when we sent the food with her have worked for her. And how she's ruined $500 worth of curtains from spraying the food everywhere--clearly the syringes' fault and not her ineptitude to feed her goddamn sick hamster. So clearly it's our fault that the hamster is sick and starving to death.

And she's totally exaggerating the dates and how long it's been since we started seeing her and last gave her these things. And she's screaming and I'm trying very hard to stop myself telling her to shut the fuck up to ask her which syringe she's been using or correcting a date or mentioning that we want to try and help you but no, we did not lie to you or your friend. And she's talking over me; my other coworker came out front and she interjected to tell her to let me finish speaking. My manager had left like half an hour before or else she probably would have intervened as well.

Anyway, we ended up bringing her into an exam room in an attempt to avoid clients walking into the scene she was causing. Our vet showed her the syringes we have, and they talked about the feedings and her health blah blah blah. Basically the same stuff we keep trying telling her if she would stop cooking up ways that we’re out to get her and listened. And of course she's nice to the vet. And she leaves with more fucking syringes.

Afterwards, I asked the vet if we had to keep her as a client. He said now, which has me hopeful that he’ll fire her as a client. We cannot and should not have to stand for that sort of abuse.

#shannon the vet assistant

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belamarin-blog · 7 years

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Nicholas Sparks ruined my childhood

The last time I watched the Notebook was during middle school. I hadn't gotten my first kiss yet and was surrounded by boys picking their nose and talking about their PS2's. I would glare at each of them with my friends as we discussed how intimate their hugs were. Fast forward to present day, the more intellectual, cooler evolved Bela. Bela, a pessimistic brat that codes in her free time and doesn't see men as people yet goes to frat parties every weekend. I was scrolling through the shitty movie options on Netflix and decided... I'm feeling a little romantic tonight. I put on everybody's favorite classic, The Notebook and watched it, this time without the mindset of a seventh grade student. I'll admit, tears rolled down my eyes twice and for a moment I really did want to text my crush and tell him how much he means to me and plan a kayaking trip down the river. Then I knocked myself back to reality. The Notebook is an unrealistic movie that, as cute and moving as it was, delivered a strong message that easily leads a life of ridiculous expectations and goals carried by a temporary desire and heavily rely on another individual you have no power over. The movie itself represents the 0.000001% of men that can actually bring a positive impact on a woman's life and not leave them in regret and faked orgasms. Ironically, both of the men Allie had to choose from were effortlessly handsome, kind and loyal spouses that treated her with the utmost respect and didnt leave her with a calculator figuring out how to split the bill. Noah, Allie's true love, is introduced to the movie as a little daredevil. He finds Allie, a pretty privileged rich girl and decides to follow her on the ferris wheel. But who needs to spend money and wait in line when he can just hold onto the handlebars of the ferris wheel until it gets to the tippity top where he threatens to let go and quite possibly die unless Allie, the pretty rich girl he hasn't spoken to and does not know one thing about, accepts the offer to go out with him. And then they talk and fall in love and Noah the fearless daredevil (who clearly seems to occupy himself with fun activities I could never find without paying $100 minimum here in NYC) is well known for his impulsive decisions with no care of anyone's opinion regardless of how close their relationship. Yet as impulsive and careless as he is, for seven years Noah cannot get over his high school crush. He drinks, gets a heartbroken fuckbuddy and decides to build a house exactly the way a sixteen year old Allie advised him to as he waits for her return. Noah should not be a romantic icon, he is a stalker suffering from emotional diarrhea. To end it off, him and Allie finally have sex. Allie wants more, but Noah declines her offer to cook breakfast. And then Allie meets his fuckbuddy and forcefully invites her over. Okay let's be realistic. I've met plenty of Noah's in my life. That is, impulsive daredevils with the attention span of an infant hamster. Ladies, if he threatens to jump off a ferris wheel unless he gets a date from you, he will most certainly do it again to another girl. The seven year obsession wasn't romantic either, just fucking creepy. The movie carries a powerful, socially constructed message to another level. "True love" is the only way you can achieve happiness. Relying on the emotions and whims of another individual and hoping they remain faithfully attached to you is the only way one can enjoy life to its fullest. If it's not with the compulsive stalker who threatened to kill himself if you, some girl he finds attractive won't go out with him, there is no enjoyment in traveling or exploring the world and seeing new things. Being single after ending a high school relationship will only lead to a life of drinking and empty pleasure. Scientifically speaking, the "butterfly" stage in relationships that the Notebook seemed to carry forever can only last a maximum of two years until the dopamine, aka that chemical in your brain that makes you feel good and do happy things, can no longer carry that same adrenaline rush. After that the relationship's just held onto by an emotional sense of attachment. All jokes aside, I aspire to live a life of happiness and empowerment. I want to focus on the present and love myself before anything or anyone else. A life where I can learn new languages, spill my feelings out onto paper and develop a greater insight towards different mindsets and cultures. I want to live vicariously through different people and create java applications that can benefit me and others that utilize them. And a few romantic flings here and there.

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