#today was our first hang-out day

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 29

"Easy Money Down In Texas" by Ray Wylie Hubbard (music video link bc it amuses me)

#song of the day #the family is here! they got here yesterday but we didn't spend much time hanging out everybody mostly went to sleep #today was our first hang-out day #every time we're all in the same room again it's such a great experience. there's five of us! I'm the oldest of five! there's five of us! #it's so good to see a sibling literally any direction I look #this is the song of the day because it makes us laugh #'Cody Wade and Cody / Jack and Cody and all the rest' #and of course 'drummer's riding shotgun playing Assassin's Creed' the line which got us the song in the first place #we were driving to meet a friend and the song came on autoplay after Nick's playlist ended and we weren't really listening #and then that line hit and Duncan was like 'wait did this song just namedrop Assassin's Creed? what did they say??' #I am not too proud to admit I was the only one who did not hear it #two boys shouting at me about portable versions of Assassin's Creed while I fumble to open the spotify app on an unfamiliar phone #it's a fun song

[scuffedcd]

I’m gonna be pathetic real quick,

#I miss her so much #dealing with a one sided crush on one of my closest friends no less has not been easy #we haven’t really hung out this year not bc of the feelings stuff but bc I was tired of always being the one to plan hang outs and outreach #this has always been our dynamic #she’s just not the initiator type #which was fine at first #but for me the more I put into a friendship the more I expect in return #so it was hard not to take it personally when things didn’t change after we talked abt it #anyway she graduated college today #and idk if it just really sunk in that this is very likely the last time we will ever be in proximity to each other #but something abt it just kinda hit me today #a part of me wishes she had reached out #but maybe this is for the best #I feel I shouldn’t have to ask for what I need every single time #the down side is that knowing that doesn’t cancel out the years of friendship #I’ve always had a hard time letting people go #a part of me almost always cares about them for a long time #it’s hard bc my college experience was largely knowing that while I had friends I likely wasn’t their top choice #or part of their larger group #I floated around a lot which was cool sometimes and lonely other times #but if there was any person who I would have expected or I guess even just wanted to put in more of an effort it was her #personal #rambles #vent #it is complicated navigating friend expectations vs crush yearning #but I like to think that I can be rational enough to distinguish between the two #and so not ask for anything that is outside the reasonable expectation for friends #idk man it’s been an emo day overall ig

[maddy-ferguson]

i spent two hours (two hours) with my "friends" from school today and i'm MISERABLE roman voice you need to stop this (@ me)

#and like i say: brf slt #forgot to say we were literally sitting down. in class. taking notes. like there's genuinely no reason for THAT to make me feel this bad! #i'm not even bad at talking to people i never talk to again in class or only hang out with in school not having real friends doesn't bother #me because i have friends outside of school but it's my third year so everyone already has established groups of friends and it's :/ like #on monday in my first class of the year the girl sitting next to me was very nice we talked and we have more classes in common like apart #from the big ones where everyone's here the ones where it's only maybe 30 people. so i'm like that's fun i hope i see her again and i did #but she's friends with the bigger group of friends my friends who don't actually like me are friends with like my non friend's boyfriend's #friends so THEIR friends. like what are the odds. i guess not that crazy because there's only maybe 200 of us or 150 i have no idea #but still #but anyway #today we have one of these classes where it's not everyone but it was like another group of students so it was #me. this girl i've been hanging out with for two years who i didn't want to keep hanging out with at the end of the year because of the way #she reacted to something i did that was like an honest mistake she took it wayyy too seriously and said some things i didn't like i was #like girl fuck you😭 except then they kept the exact same groups AND I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE ELSE and it was four months later so i actually #sat next to her and we were together for projects and things like that like my bad. that's on me. #and on her first day last year she met a girl who wasn't in our university the year before and they became bffs basically so it was them + #me. and i like the second girl better i think but she's insanely judgey like not to be like i'm so much better than her but i grew out of #the criticizing everyone 24/7 because it's genuinely a fun activity for me and i enjoy it mindset when i left middle school because the one #friend who liked it as much as me went to a different high school and i stopped seeing her every day. i made a post saying this in january #then during the second semester we became friends with another person i don't wanna explain how. we worked on a thing together for class #basically. them i genuinely like even though i don't think we would actually hang out out of school and have that many things to say to #each other. but they're more friends with girl 1 and girl 2 than they are with me because well i'm not comfortable with them so i talk less #than i would if i was comfortable. and there's also person 3's partner we have a few classes with who's cool but same as person 3 with the #being closer to girl 1 and girl 2 even though they're not even that close. but like. yeah idk #they just (girl 1 and girl 2) make me feel like i'm the weird kid in middle school and that wasn't even my middle school experience i'm #gonna let that happen to me NOW AT 22 YEARS OF AGE? #but last year it was like fine actually it's crazy how one class two hours made me rethink it all #but it's also awkward because like am i just gonna go sit all by myself because i don't wanna hang out with them. especially because we #still have a group thing we're gonna have to do until the end of the year that we started last year and it's not like i'd wanna switch #groups because they're a good group to work with. like they actually do the work. and i guess we only have two classes where it's. tag limi

[sluttyten]

I still have 5 hours left in my shift 😭😭😭

#I just…. #really wanna go home today #not having a good day. I started my period this morning and then I got to work and found out only me and one other opener were there but our #opening manager wasn’t here yet so she was late and we spent the next 20 minutes rushing to get everything set up before we opened #and then we immediately started getting customers and it’s just been busy and I’m tired and just don’t feel good bc of my period #and then so far I’ve had 2 of my least favorite customers come through the drive thru where I’m working #one is this dude who’s just fucking annoying another is the guy that asked for my number a few months ago who I haven’t seen since I turned #him down so I took his order and then made someone else deal with him at the window #and then it got busy with everyone ordering drinks like hot coffees which meant I had to walk from our drive thru out to the lobby bc my #coffees were out bc everyone wants coffee today but when I would do that I would still have to be taking orders #and then someone cleared a few specialty coffees off the barista screen without making them while the person was sitting in the drive thru #so I had to make those while doing other stuff too and people were asking me questions #and I was just getting very overstimulated and annoyed plus I’m hungry #and I just want to leave and go home and sleep but it’s my best friend’s birthday so she’s probably gonna want to do something later but I #just don’t feel up to it and I know she’s probably ready to hang out because she’s been off for 10 days with Covid so she’s well rested now #for her birthday but 😭😭😭 I just want to crash into my bed so hard and not wake up until noon tomorrow #also the coworker I work with every day and don’t like is here today unfortunately #and also all of the speakers we use to play music in the back are dead right now and I just want to play music #first world problems but I have so little patience today

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

So like technically I’m not dating her but yeah I think I do in fact have a girlfriend

#very fun airport date today #we flew out on the same flight and she didn’t have anyone sitting next to her so I moved to sit with her #and then we got to hang out for a couple hours bc we both had a layover and we got dinner #it’ll be weird not having dinner with her. like. we spent practically every day of the last month together #many of nights we made dinner together #or went out to eat #oh and the fact that I stay at her apartment on weekends #and help her study. which actually has almost made me make time for studying #she definitely had me making time for food tho bc tell u what I straight up barely ate before she and I got close #also. she’s like I mean we’re practically dating #i wouldn’t mind at all. in fact it would be nice to not keep calling her my mug friend. mug friend is now code for whatever she and I are #i would date her so fast but my girl is a little afraid I think of the pressure of that. which I don’t mind. I’m perfectly content #man it’s gonna suck not seeing her all break. Jan 5th! cannot come soon enough #she managed to deal with all of my weird quirks and isms never once made me feel bad about them and just overall has been so very patient #bc our first encounter was us making out and I was like god why does anyone do that ever it feels so weird and bad #well it turns out I am incredibly lacking in the physical affection department and I can’t stand anything I’m remotely unfamiliar with #slow and steady wins the race with me I guess and now I understand why people make out and I have a hickey collection on my neck very often #I’m boutta be so very touch starved this break. i wanna go back to college :/ #i literally just got to my house. get me out. i will say it’s nice to be back in the part of the Midwest where people will gladly #hit you with their car if you get a little too in their way. I’m back in the city <3 I prefer when people drive like it’s a blood sport #soup talks

[spaghett-onaplate]

.

#I am actually so sick of one person right now #🌹 didn't even do anything THAT bad just lots of things that make me want to crawl out of my skin #🌹 is in one of my classes and my friendgroup but she doesn't hang out with us every day #she always hugs me and holds my hand and is super touchy and always has been but it makes me so desperately uncomfortable! #i dont like to hold people's grimy greasy dirty unwashed hands thank you #and its fucking terrifying to get a flying hug from behind with no warning #i do not want to touch people always can you please piss off! #and she doesn't do that with our cis guy friends so i know she sees me as a girl :( #and today on the bus 🌹 was sitting two seats in front of me with a stranger between us #and she got out her phone and was trying to take photos with me and the person beside me or something? #which annoys me enough on its own #but THE STRANGER WAS IN THEM TOO #poor fucking guy i should've told 🌹 to stop straight away but instead i was just desperately uncomfortable in silence! #and stranger dude was obviously annoyed and asked 🌹 to stop #and i wanted to peel my skin off like a potato right then and there jesus fucking christ #how can people be so fucking obtuse and unaware of other people! #i know i should just verbalise this but i get sweaty palms just talking to people let alone being straight with them #hhhhhhhhhhhh it's nice to have friends but these are the first I've had in a while and its difficult to navigate #but she so obviously sees me as a girl and that makes me majorly uncomfortable on top of everything else #i have to see her again tomorrow in maths #:( why #also she goes so fast in maths it makes me stressed when i am still squinting at the numbers trying to make sense of them #not her fault but just #hhhhh everything else is so avoidable if she just had an ounce of self awareness

[noxtivagus]

i'm so happy i'll cry so bad when i finally open it 😭😭

#tag later #AAAA IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY #IM LIKE. RLLY CHILL RN BUT IM SO SO HAPPY #i'll play nier first ofc but oh my god zack. crisis core. i'll cry so bad #im so happy im rlly so happy it's so funny i'm so chill rn but #earlier when i saw data blitz w the poster i jumped n ran to it pointing at it n #I WAS SMILING SM WHEN THEY HAD IT IN STOCK N ALL UWAHH #fun day w my friend hehe we rlly just shopped ngl 🥹 #her. 'friend' ehem (read; basically bf) was low on social bat it seems but it was cool meeting them irl BUT I WAS TOO SHY TO TALK.. #they're usually more extroverted tho n then #i'm sorry i accidentally peeked at my friend's messages n her friend mentioned that like. if another friend of ours (who apollo n i are #closer with) then it wld've been more chill or wtvr I CANT REMEMBER #i miss hanging out w my friends :< I MISS THEM SO MUCH FUCK #I'm so tired from walking tho help i'm sitting down rn finally #torn between really excited for ccr n stressed for the future n really happy from today n #torn too between feeling excited or. idk lonely rn thinking abt all my different kinds of relationships #that flew by too fast.. i wna spend more time w my friends :< #despite how fun it was n everything i can't shake off this certain. emptiness that i can't make sense of #BUT RN I'M DOING FINE DW #technically i'm friends too w the friend of my longtime friend bcs we met (save for me w my longtime friend ofc #like way back early this year. turns out another guy from the other school went bowling w their friends in the same mall #n OH YEAH in this same mall iirc the friend apollo n i are closer w from the guys went to a con here yesterday? #i just realized hi small weird thumb reveal it seems #i just realized if you're filo n know your malls n know a con yesterday then it's very obvious where i was today uh #WAH THAT SAID THOUGH omg i'm rambling but i'm. god i've been feeling rather empty lots lately But i know that i'm happy from today #omg oh yh bcs of all the ppl i mentioned earlier me n longtime friend n apollo joked abt like. reunion of that grp earlier this year hehe #the idea is rlly lovely.. ngl i rlly do have a level of social anxiety even w close friends yeah but that doesn't mean i'm antisocial no #i rlly want to socialize n make friends :< so the idea of it is. rlly wonderful indeed but it seems so far out of my reach #i'll fix tags later i have sm to talk abt oh my god but it's comforting knowing my friend. felt the same way i do abt that earlier hehe #I RLLY WANT A BUCKET HAT N COOL SHADES TO GO W IT HFKSJFKSJFS

[toastlover21]

THERE IS A 25% CHANCE MY CRUSH MISSES ME!!!

that is all

#so I’m in this dance group #and the last time we had a big performance was before COVID #and we’ve gotten back together just this year but some people have moved #basically four people I think are really cool (including my crush) live in a big city a couple hours away #anyways I’ve only really hung out with them once and I felt like the annoying little kid so I thought they just tolerated me #anyway one of those people’s partners told me today that they miss me (as I’m the group) #and at first I’m like #people miss me? #but like wow some of the coolest people I’ve ever known actually think of me when I’m not there #even though we’ve never actually really hung out #and while there was a slim chance the person told me this was doing it to be nice #that would be weird because it was a non sequitor in our conversation #and I don’t think they know (hopefully) just how desperate I am to hang out with that group #anyway no one’s gonna read this but that one slight conversation is the highlight of my day #and I literally just had my last day of being a janitor and I’m about to start my backup dream job next week

[palesoftangel]

Goddddd iiiii lloovveeee himmmm my heart is dancing ommmgggg I'm smiling so hard my cheeks hurt 🤭🤭🤭💗💗💗💗💗 i love him so much I'm so happy

#i had a bad day today dealing with my uni my finals being so stressed #and i missed the bus so it was my last straw lol i walked back home crying #my makeup was a mess too 😭 #and i looked really bad wearing my mom's clothes #didn't sleep all night #yeah it was a messy day #but my bf and i were supposed to meet today and he told me later today that he was so really he drove (for the first time) to our uni #with his car and he was wearing nice clothes so i felt sooo bad dude 😭 i feel horrible #also he just told me اني نكدت عليه because he misses me so much #we haven't been able to talk properly for weeks bc he too was stressed out about the graduation #i feel so bad that i pulled away from him when this happened bc i felt unwanted but this wasn't the matter #bruh i feel sooooo bad i should've been softer 😭 #anyways so he just said that he misses me and misses hanging out with me so um internal screaming??!!!!???!!?!? #i love him god i love him so much #😭😭😭😭😭 #I'm falling for him so hard lol #y

[possum-tooth]

ok. ok. why is being an adult so fucking annoying.

#'if u change ur mind id still like to be friends' girl how can i do that if i LIKE YOU!!!!!!! #i already TOLD you about my jealousy issues why would you do this to me.. #and as childish as it sounds im kinda sad our streak is gonna die </3 26 days babyy #anyway. seeing '[redacted] replied to your chat!' first thing upon waking up was the greatest wake up call i think LOL #hope yall have a good friday i dont work tmrw im hanging out w extended family and getting drunk off my ass. i hope today is kind #to you and you have a happy hog wild weekend <3 #talk tag

[evellys--blog]

i think these ramblings things are just a form of journaling but im okay w that

#lol okay i hate starting these #but first: #update on the hugging my friends #i did not hug my friends :(( #either today or yesterday too :(((( #but i was still rlly positive and bright and fun yesterday in spite of that thing the night before #yeah it was rlly fun yesterday #school was actually chill that day too #there was like this double-flex schedule for the day #which basically flex is just like a period in between 1st and 2nd thats like a short study hall thing #our school has it like one day every other week or smth #but yesterday #it was like two of those in a row #bc our school does like these kinda superficial events for like mental health #its good that the school does them #idk but either way we got like a 2 hour break and there was this local artist who performed to get his name out there #in the second hour me and my friends just left campus tho lol #it was so much fun tho #like we got to have the first like actual conversation/ hang out w all of us #and i didnt feel overly like toxicly positive #like i wasnt neglecting bad feelings #i just generally felt good yesterday #and then i went up skiing on the school ski team too #ugh i wish school was usually like this #it felt like there could be actual community #like if everyone could just like hang out at the school/ near campus for 2 hours every day #like holy shit everyone would be like buddies #well thats an exageration #quoting my friend here lol "i feel like there isnt like real community in the school #like school could be such a great third space

[bincliff]

.

#grief #i’ve been trying to hold it together today but it’s birthday of one of my old school friends who died #it is absolutely so unfair that the world doesn’t have her in it any more #and why the heck do i exist but she doesn’t #the first time i met her outside of lessons she came up to me while i was reading frankenstein and she asked me what i was reading #and if it was good #and i snapped at her because i thought she was going to bully me (because that was what happened in my previous school) #but later on we became such good friends #she would always hang milk out of the window of our study room to keep it cool so we could have hot drinks with milk #on muck-up day she straightened my hair and i had extremely mixed feelings about it but i remember she was very gentle #she was so kind to me after i came out and sent me a really lovely dm #we were supposed to get coffee at some point #we never did #anyway i miss you abigail #i’m sorry the world wasn’t kind to you #and i’m sorry i didn’t try harder to stay in touch

[blackandblueraven]

My friend gave me for my birthday a heat changing mug... so I made him pins with his favourite character for his birthday.

#there was a joke between us about giving the gifts late #because he gave me a gift exactly one month after my birthday and then I gave him his gift late so we just continued giving them late #except the last one I made for him because it was the end of the school year and our last few days in high school #and he had birthday around that time so I gave it to him only a few days later I think #not sure anymore #I brought the mug with me to the dorms and I was just checking if it works so I tought of it #I guess I just wanted to tell it somewhere #he's a great friend we immediately clicked at the start of the first year #I guess some people thought we were dating? or like interested in each other? I can't speak from his pov but in mine it always was as frien #he later started to date our classmate and while I think we were friends and stuff she didn't really like me hanging out with him lol #I mean understandable. BUT he was literally the only person I knew who had very similar interests and sense of humour so I was #she knew about me not being interested in him. or at least I hope so #really just mostly showing him memes or news about the shows we both watched/enjoyed #you can tell I don't have anyone to talk to about these things lol #raven is typing #quite a lot today #also the character on the pins was actually a pet of one of the main characters (Angel Dust specifically. and the pet's name is Fat Nuggets

[magnetothemagnificent]

The world is so hostile to tweens.....

Like we joke about how our schools growing up would ban the latest toy trends, but that reality genuinely horrific when you think about it. Like maybe 1% of the bans were based on safety, but the rest cited reasoning like

-"kids were bartering for collectibles" (kids learning about economics and product value)

-"kids were wearing them and the colors were too flashy" (kids experimenting with self expression and fashion)

-"kids were playing with them during lunch and recess instead of using our rusted safety hazard playground" (kids utilizing their free time to do what helps *them* unwind).

Play areas specifically geared towards children and especially towards teens are constantly being shut down. "Oh kids today are always on their phones!" Maybe because

-there are barely any arcades left and even less arcades that aren't adult-oriented,

-public pools and gyms are underfunded and shut down,

-"no loitering" laws prevent kids and teens from just hanging out,

-movie theatres only play the latest films and ticket prices are only rising,

-parks and playgrounds are either neglected or replaced with gear only directed at toddlers and unsuitable for anyone older

-genuine children's and young teen media is being phased out in favour of media directed only at very small children or older teens and adults.

-suburbs and even cities are becoming more and more hostile to pedestrians, it's just not safe for kids to walk to or ride their bikes to their friends' houses or other play destinations

Children's agency is hardly ever respected. Kids between the ages of 9-13 are either treated as babies or as full-grown adults, with no in-between. When they ask to be given more independence, they are either scoffed at or given more responsibilities than are reasonable for a child their age.

This is even evident in the fashion scene.

Clothing stores and brands like Justice and Gap are either closing or rebranding to either exclusively adult clothing or young children's clothes, with no middle ground for tweens. Tweens have to choose between clothes designed for adults that are too large and/or too mature for their age and bodies, or more clothes they feel are far too childish. For tween girls especially it's either a frilly pinafore dress with pigtails or a woman's size dress with cleavage. No wonder tween girls these days dress like they're older, it's because their other option is little girl clothes and they don't want to feel childish.

And then when tweens go to school, the books they want to read aren't available because they cover "mature" topics (read: oh no two people kissed and they weren't straight or oh no menstruation was mentioned or oh no a religion other than Christianity is depicted), so kids are left with books for way below their reading level. No wonder kids today are struggling with literacy, it's because they can't exercise and expand their reading skills with age-appropriate books. Readers need to be challenged with new words and concepts in order to grow in their skills, only letting tween read Dr. Seuss and nursery rhymes doesn't let them learn.

Discussions about substance use, reproduction, and sexuality aren't taught at an age-appropriate level in school or even by children's parents, so they either grow up ignorant and more vulnerable to abuse, or they seek out information elsewhere that is delivered in a less-than-age-appropriate manner. It shouldn't be a coin-toss between "I didn't know what sex was until I was 18 and in college" or "my first exposure to sex as a tween was through porn" or "I didn't know what sex was so I didn't know I was being sexually abused as a kid."

Tweenhood is already such a volatile and confusing time for kids, their bodies are changing and they're transitioning from elementary to middle to high school. It's hard enough for them in this stage, but it's made worse by how society devalues and fails them.

We talk about the disappearance of teenagehood, and maybe that's gonna happen in the future, but the erasure of tweenhood is happing in real time, and it's having and going to have major consequences for next generation's adults.

#leftie shit #i guess #ageism #social issues #tweenhood #the disappearance of tweenhood #current events #relevant issues

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

god today was so fucking exhausting i --

#vent #suicide mention #(nothing happened dw) #i had such shitty sleep today w so many bad dreams #didnt get my work done and skipped my class #spent most of the day trying to dissociate and only half succeeding #then one of my partners whos been doing bad for a month now suddenly left all the gcs and discord servers #me and the other 2 in our polycule started freaking out bc usually thst sort of behaviour means smthg very very bad is abt to happen #partner wouldnt reply to texts or voicemail and hung up when we tried to call #us 3 literally rushed to their dorm and camped out their for over an hour bc we were so worried and didnt know what else to do #i bring my fucking first aid kit just in case bc its all i can do to feel useful #still no contact #eventually they post on tumblr #smthg like 'dw im ok' which i can only assume was directed at us #(my tumblr is the only secret one in the polycule) #so were like ok ! guess well take their word for it and assume theyre not about to off themself lol lmao !!!! #so we leave and just . hang out a bit #eventually i also get a reply to the text i sent #i sent like 'hey we dont have to talk beyond this but please please tell us youre safe thats all' #and they replied w a thumbs up a couple hours later #so ! theyre fuckin alive ! i am !!! at my wits end today hahah #amber actually saying stuff

[noxtivagus]

✨ productivity ✨

#i'm downloading genshin again on my ps4 bcs i'm gna link my account or wtvr so i can also play on my phone #i actually don't know exactly how but i just asked astria bcs i'm lazy :> #no like fr tho i'm reading smth rn and i didn't realize it finished downloading #n i'm on discord rn i removed my status #n i see 'Playing Genshin Impact' #I LAUGHED HELP 💀😭 #this is oddly amusing #+ i'm somehow still listening to revolutions ffxiv ever since i woke up #ffxiv's always at the back of my head smh #oh i mentioned i was reading right? #i realized and remembered once more how much i miss losing and forgetting myself as i drown in words #i have so many untouched and unfinished books here #i'll pick them up again soon. physical books are so much more special. #i miss the feel of their touch as i hold them in my hands and their nostalgic comforting scent T_T #but now i also have the motivation to play ffxiv again and play the piano oh no what do i do first #and finally watch all the videos my dad sends in our family gc aaaaa #he does send a lot of useful and informational stuff tho n i'm rlly grateful. sometimes i seenzone one day n forget to check them out tho 🙈 #hang on i'm still 'playing' genshin impact so i'll sort that out first 🥴 #kinda sad that ultimate raiding's called off today but oh well i'll give my all next tuesday #now that i have more time on my hands i'll make the most of it 💪