#this close to losing it haha. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

butchviking · 11 months

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i hate being a mentally ill adult actually. i hate that there’s always groceries to be bought and housekeeping to do and work in the morning i hate that we have no space to feel it all i hate that we walk around acting normal. there are so many people i know who are clearly deeply unhappy with their lives and we make silly little jokes that allude to it but sometimes i want to grab them by the shoulders and scream ‘i know you are miserable!! we can’t keep living like this!! this is why people break!!’ im sick of this drudgerous apathy i want us all to be dramatic like when we were teenagers i want us to sob together and scream bloody murder at each other and tell each other we want to kill ourselves not as a funny post-ironic joke but because we all feel like that sometimes!! i want us to get fucked up on god knows what til we can’t open our eyes i want us to take care of each other instead of always taking care of ourselves i want us to be vulnerable i want us to hold each others hands in the ambulance!!

#don't get me wrong there are happy and beautiful times! there is wonder and fulfillment!!#but how do u share in the one if u can't share in the other?#i can't walk into work and say #'yesterday all i could think about was which of you would cry if i died #but today i saw a kid pick a flower and it felt like the most beautiful thing that had ever happened'#i don't even talk to my friends like that! it's all 'haha yeah been having a rough week. u know how it is. hbu?'#i feel like im going crazy but i dont believe that! aren't we all feeling this??? is anyone else feeling this??? is this fucking normal????#am i just emotionally closed off?? is everyone else having these conversations am i the stunted one who doesn't know how to talk about it??#i KNOW im living with mental illness but so are a lot of people! im sad sometimes but im not losing my mind! i know other people feel this!!

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cryptidwithacopiccollection · 5 months

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Because in the light, you are untouchable.

(flickering gif/possible eyestrain below the cut)

#rb #my art #ace attorney #klavier gavin #flashing gif #flashing warning #eyestrain #art stuff #i dunno if this counts but #animated gif #when i say may art program *crunched* the gif #i mean it fucking CRUNCHED it look at that thing. tbh i kinda like the uncanny look it gives it though #i am losing my mind about this stupid fictional rockstar. 'hes a diva who freaks out and loses his shit over his keys going missing.'#'lol he even put his logo on his boot prints! haha thats so funny-'#do you understand that every. single. person involved with state v. gramareye felt watched.#the mishams were fucking *terrified* for almost a decade because of the looming threat of kristoph's retribution. and they were right.#zak was putting road behind him for years #hiding in the shadows so he couldnt be found. but he was found anyways.#klavier was kristoph's *brother*. he knows how cruel he can he up-close and personal. but hes not dumb. no #unlike everyone else he chose a strategy that actually worked: becoming so visible that it would be hard to make him disappear quietly.#of COURSE his shoes are like that. you know exactly whose boot prints they are. he plasters that logo on everything. youll know it's his.#ofcourse he made himself so popular. there would be massive public outcry if he was hurt or went missing.#and when he finally returns to the same city as kristoph after his brother's been arrested for murder thinking hes safe?#his keys disappear. why wouldn't he freak out? he's felt the looming weight of a threat to his life over his head since he fled at 17.#he needs his keys to use his bike. to get into his house. to the break locks on his stuff. stuff in his mind kristoph may now have access t #sure hes a diva #but he is also a scared little brother who is doing his goddamn BEST to avoid the painful retribution he knows kristoph had for him #because in the light? you are untouchable #there are too many eyes to see you go

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cerealforkart · 4 months

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VII. The Sorcerer’s Collection

Princess Sparrow reached out but didn’t quite touch the fabric of a torn bag. “It’s like a graveyard,” she whispered.

With his demonic blood, Nicholas could feel it too. Everything in the room had been torn open and hollowed out, just like Erin’s garden. Dozens of viable channels of magic, drained, emptied, and cut off from the oceans of mythical realms they once freely communed with, leaving the corpses of once-powerful enchanted things behind. “Whose fault is that?” Nicholas muttered.

Princess Sparrow turned her face to the floor.

“Most of this belonged to my stepdad’s dad. Apparently he was some sort of evil sorcerer before all the gates closed and he lost his powers,” Terry jr. explained. “There’s no magic left in any of it, so it’s all junk now, if you find whatever it is you’re looking for, help yourself.”

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #doodly #sparrow oak #nick close #nicholas foster #terry jr #fairytale au #lovesong #Terry is also in this au!#they hang out with him for a couple chapters #Nicky loses his arm in these chapters haha

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mamawasatesttube · 2 months

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i need to write more konbart... i miss them... i still think it's a fucking crime that final crisis legion of three worlds didn't even let them hug. bart should've seen kon alive again and tackled him the second the fighting was over. bart should've latched on like a limpet and cried for at least an hour. come on.

#tim&cassie have the unbreakable bond of The Ones Left Behind. kon&bart have that of The Ones Who Died.#like i know i write a lot of timkon and i do love them but also i Firmly believe qp konbart is just as important a relationship in kons life #i just tend to write less about aro feelings bc that hits too close to home sometimes ksdjlsh romance is like. haha yeah not me but it's fun #but aro love. oh fuck ill be perceived. but sometimes i think about meg's little ficlet of aro bart thinking he would be in love with kon--#--if he could be in love with anybody. like it would be kon but he's not built that way. and then i need to lie down a minute #kon and bart and their deep profound meaning to each other...#like bart is sooo aro to me but qp konbart does make me insane if i think about it #(i appreciate romo konbart too dgmw <3 but the qp version is what makes me lose my fucking mind)#augh........... konbart.....#rimi talks #kon #bart #konbart

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idontwantittobeunrequited · 8 months

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okay but imagine stede pressing his lips to every battle scar and drunken tattoo ed has on his body and asking 'when'd you get this one?' 'did it hurt?' 'what does this one mean?' and always 'you're beautiful , you're beautiful , you're beautiful , ed'

#haha #hemalis writing fanfic in their head again guys sound the alarm #ofmd #our flag means death #blackbonnet #oh but if this happens i will lose my mind #even something close to it #edward teach #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #rhys darby #taika waititi

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martianbugsbunny · 8 months

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Every episode of Ahsoka that doesn't have Zeb in it is a little bit more bearable if you simply operate on the base assumption that he will show up eventually. so you can just say to yourself "it's at most four weeks until zeb shows up. at most four more weeks." it contains the madness

#like imagine four weeks from now zeb will have shown up #maybe it's a little less but the point is four weeks from now zeb will have been in ahsoka and you will be happy #and ofc I'm losing my shit either way but I'm also saying to myself 'it's at most four more weeks until I see canon Kalluzeb'#bc I am a clown and I do believe with most of the fibers of my being that kalluzeb will happen #I will believe it if it kills me #I'm being positive about this one #bc it just feels to obvious and too close to not be and oh look I'm turning into icarus again #about to lose the wings I'm so sure are securely attached to my back and fall to the sea in bewilderment and pain #haha #ahsoka series #ahsoka show #zeb #garazeb orrelios #kalluzeb #star wars

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hailsatanacab · 2 years

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man i made so many memes this time wow

anyways here u go >:')

holyshitholyshitholyshit

these are all perfect!!

for chapter 4 of cetbwa

#close enough to be whole again #cetbwa #dp x dc #danny phantom #dpdc #i gotta stop checking my phone as soon as i wake up because holy shit hooolllyyy shit #the magnificence that is this collection of memes will keep me awake for hours now #i need sleep! ........ but i love these way more #ive been trying to think how to properly express my gratitiude and laughter #but all ive been doing is rolling around on my bed and laughing into the pillows haha #holy shit i asked for memes and you did not disappoint!!!#thank you so much! im so glad you liked the new chapter!!#my favourite one is the onion but only because i was so close to cutting that line last night before posting #so im glad you enjoyed it ☺️ 😊#i woke up way too early and now im so wired im so pumped i feel like i just drank a pint of coffee #thank you so so so much!!#the jeremy clarkson car one is perfection #also i dont think ive ever seen the knight one before isnt that amazing??#being introduced to a meme because of my own fic #im losing my fucking mindddd #holy shit #thank you so much again im signing off now to reply to your other ask because they are also top tier quality memes

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trainingdummyrabbit · 4 months

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i love making jokes abt my funy lil side facility dynamics as if they dont have me chewing on drywall 24/7

#piktalk #haha yay yaaaay my silly lil wet cat blorbo of a manager hes soooo stupid and dumb hehe yaaaaay ^w^#anyway imagine what its like to live your whole life instinctually and selfishly hurting others under th guise of keeping yourself safe #only to learn what its like to lose something for the first time and try to angle yourself towards change for the better #(no matter what you have to make of yourself to do it)#and it only ends up pushing away those you desperately want to keep close; those you desperately want to protect.#imagine reigning in that instinctual sharpness to try and help someone and they go and die on you anyway. and its probably your fault.#and then it turns out that first kindness you tried to extend may have been the thing to doom everybody around you And yourself #yet all you can think of is failing those who started to trust you-- And the one who betrayed your newfound softness to begin with.#anyway hes the type of guy to go 'whoopsie daisy'. ^w^ stupid dumb lil guy yayayayaya <333

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 8 months

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being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

#this is a silly haha humor post but in all seriousness.#COVID rly is just making me stare all the internalized ableism in the eye #yes worth isnt defined by productivity and disability and the idea of being a burden is part of being human and isn’t shameful at all #until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs #I really want to eat dinner but that would require asking my roommates to make me dinner which is just. 5 kinda of mortifying.#even though if someone I knew was sick I would not be upset about making them food! sick people need to eat!#my parents ordered me chipotle yesterday bc they were so concerned bc of how I sounded over the phone #and my friend went out and bought me juice and Gatorade and popsicles and took me to the doctor #the support system Exists I just feel bad about having to use it T-T #I just want to be hugged and read to and reminded to eat food but I am an adult now and not at home #lonely TT-TT #it’ll be okay I’m probably just emotional bc I’m sick and hungry #I also just am struggling so hard because I want to catch up on my classwork Right Now #but I can get through maybe one assignment before I’m too exhausted to keep sitting up #and I have to lay down and close my eyes and sleep or do a light activity like playing candy crush for the fifty bazillionth time #I’ve gotten through like. 100 levels this week.#I’m losing my dang marbles. I am gonna be so behind in ASL Susan is gonna be so disappointed in me #I feel like I have all this energy when I’m laying down bored but as soon as I sit up I feel like I’m floating and about to fall over #so. so tired. why can’t I be healthy already and do homework T-T.#I’m choosing to take this as a lesson to slow down and not overwork myself so hard. instead of being mad at myself for getting behind.#<- is trying and failing not to be mad at herself for getting behind

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clownattack · 19 days

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I asked Emamouse for help finding a track of theirs and THEY ACTUALLY DID!!! Im honestly shocked and so relieved. The 3rd track was an ear worm for me for over two weeks, and its so awesome ema actually shared the EP for download on their twitter (it was no longer available i think?)

#emamouse #closing dog's gate #music #video game music #weirdcore #item label #犬の水たまり #i didnt expect to get a reply haha #this was so sweet and great im just really grateful #i hope ppl can grab it and enjoy!#ngl i feel like a little music hunter lol #i went thru all 66 albums on bandcamp and while it was very nice i was LOSING MY MIND bcs i couldnt find that one track!

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twpsyn-who · 3 months

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Soulmates AU in which when your soulmate is in a situation that can result in their death you get to see through their eyes. Like, I don't know how to explain this- it kind of flashes between what you see and what your soulmate sees. You know those edits where there's a scene going on and there's another one faded in the background happening at the same time? Similar to that. The idea is that you get to see what your soulmate sees too, on top of what you're seeing.

Now, this AU but JeanMarco. With Marco asking the others where's Jean, just for him to start seeing a corpse right in front of his eyes not even a second after asking. Seeing through Jean's eyes as he's trying to get hold of that gear and stuff. And once Jean's safe, once it clicks that you know his best friend is his soulmate Marco can't wait for them to graduate so he can you know tell him that.

Then, you know. That happens. And Jean is so fucking confused because he keeps seeing Annie crying, looking down on him. Only when Annie starts getting off the gear, when his soulmate starts moving around trying to get away he starts panicking, starts moving around faster than before. And maybe he's too late. Or maybe he shows up in time and kills the titan. I don't know. That's not where I'm trying to get, but to the second option AKA Marco pulling an UNO reverse on Annie because he's a smart sneaky bastard like that and being like 'Hey you can't kill me, my soulmate will know it was you' which makes her stop trying to take off his gear. Reiner keeps telling her to do it, Bertholdt keeps yelling about that titan coming closer, but Annie... she has seen things, at some point. Flashes of moments that weren't hers, happening right in Trost- right in that moment. And she didn't give them too much thought until that moment, until it got confirmed that it has nothing to do with her titan powers.

'What do you mean by that?' she asks, because she needs to know more. Because she wants to know more. And Marco starts explaining how it works. Tells them that he has found his soulmate, that they will put all the blame on them for his death. Reiner doesn't believe him, keeps insisting that he's playing them around - he, and anyone born and raised on Marley, has never heard of something like that before, it doesn't exist - but Annie tells him to shut up and to let Marco go. Cue to the plot of any fic in which Marco doesn't straight up die after finding up their secret.

Anyway I don't know man, just,,, We need more soulmate aus for JeanMarco. That's an order.

#When I wrote this my mind was to Mina x Annie like straight up I was like 'Yeah Mina's Annie's soulmate and she saw her dying' but my brain #liked to remind me that you know Armin has a nerd death experience too. So it can go either way guys the idea is that Annie's soulmate l #either died in Trost or was close to dying #Some little things I daydreamed about while waiting to get home to finish this post (more like little details for the au than anything #else) : Only Eldians can have a soulmate aka only subjects of Ymir. Marley being the racist motherfucker they are aren't aware of the whole #soulmate thing. That's why Reiner Berthold and Annie has no clue something like that exists they didn't get taught about that. Meanwhile #everyone on Paradis knows about soulmates kind of hard not to when many SC die on a basic lol. Is something normalized for them #Also another little detail would be that a Titan Shifter can't see during their shift. Aka Eren didn't see through Mikasa's eyes during #Trost despite her being near death at some point(s) (I'm thinking about when Titan Eren punched that Titan coming for Mikasa but honestly?#She was in danger when Eren lost control too). So yeah that's all I have for now #I think it also make sense a little for some soulmate thing to occur on top of the titan powers given the whole 'love story' between Ymir #and King Friz (or whatever his name fuck that guy- in a nonsexual way). So yeah we should totally play around with the concept of soulmates #more #This post is a mess but I started it at like 11 pm and finished it at 6 pm let me be man. My sleep deprived mind came out with this one #I make no promises to actually write something with this - I'll have to re-watch the first two season and kind of update as I watch the #other seasons so yk. Low chances. But feel free to use this as you please haha. Go wild guys. It doesn't even need to be JeanMarco yk #Like Annie seeing Mina die with her own eyes??? And her thoughts process for the whole time once she finds out she was her soulmate #Or ykyk Historia Witnessing Ymir's death??? Nicolo losing his shit over seeing that little girl shoot his soulmate??? LEVI SEEING FLASHES #OF BIG ASS STONES THROWN AROUND #Man actually you can play around with Levi so much like we have Petra too and Hange and-#Regardless #aot jean #aot marco #aot #jeanmarco #Aot JeanMarco #jean kirstein #jean kirschstein #marco bodt #marco bott

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dilfkuza · 10 months

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so upset i couldn't grab any screencaps of the final chapter there's so much that makes me wanna go insane. Kiryu visualising Oda and Tachibana's final moments when he's seconds away from crossing the line he drew and killing Shibusawa, the war path he's raged to make it up to Tachibana for not being able to protect him.... everything in him compounds into a rage he can't contain on his own. meanwhile Majima holds himself back from killing time and time again. he controls himself from killing Lao Gui or Dojima, from fighting against Sagawa, from getting revenge for everything that happened to him in the Hole and everything he had to put up with afterwards. presenting himself as a Mad Dog while having incredible self control, meanwhile the Dragon of Dojima exists in relative peace until angered.... im going to rip my hair out y0 really said lets give them the mirror images treatment. those motherfuckers

#dont get me wrong ive played y0 through before but oh my GOD does it still hit different every single time.#i catch more details of these men everytime i see it and lose more of my ability to be normal about media with it.#not to mention i wanted a pic of Majima's lil smile at Sagawa near the end when hes calling him ugly!!! UGH #i need to rewatch the scene of Kiryu losing his shit too. it was ao fucking visceral seeing him scream with Tachibana in his arms #and so close to killing Shibusawa with his bare hands. oh my god we really dont talk enough about how violent Kiryu can be when pushed #like yeah haha breaking bones. daigo with a gun. majima the mad dog. taiga '18 guys' saejima. like.#okay but what about kiryu 'grate your face on the pavement'. kiryu 'i should kill you to make up for the deaths you caused'.#Kiryu's that meme of killing everyone in the room and then himself if his loved one waa hurt but like. actually.#bulletin board #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #tachibana tetsu

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dinaur · 2 years

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user kwonsoon learns how to make gifs (1-∞) x

#seventeen #dino #seokmin #hoshi #marie.gif #this is my first try :') at least on ps #also yes i just did my svt biases these are Not cohesive as a set #i'm not even sure i wanna put these in the tags ? but heyo what have i got to lose #i've gotta start somewhere !! might as well start during svt cb season . amongst all the very talented carat ccs on here . haha #not at all intimidating 🧍‍♂️#but yeah this is just for fun pls don't actually look at these too closely i'm still figuring out how ps works !!#i had to redo the dino one many times bc i kept messing up and making it a still image . and then it was too big for tumblr . it was a mess #that's my level of gif making </3 #also i initially made a gyu gif but i just noticed as i was uploading that it's messed up and glitches ? so she's going in the bin rip #sorry mingyu beloved i will try again another time

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catharusustulatus · 1 year

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I need Steve to have a breakdown in season 5 and fall apart and cry on Robin’s shoulder. And for her to say “hey Steve, Steve, shhh heyyyy heyyy you’re okay. You’re okay dingus” to him while she holds him and pets his hair. Just a thought