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svea-darkdragon · 1 year

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The Letter (Jeanmarco/BertReiAn)

By Embers-emporium

Tw: Murder, Selfhate

(ignore spelling errors i wrote this like 6 years ago and just found it)

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Marco walks up to his taller friend it was a nice midsummer afternoon air warm and moist, Marco looks up towards the taller boy

"hey Bert you kinda left your jacket in the baracks, so I brought it to you"

"Ah, thank you… I didn’t knew where I left it this morning” Bertholdt spoke back, holding the jacket in his hands and putting it on. “Heh, much better”

Marco smiles slowly looking up to meet Berts eyes… “Soo I heard rumours Bert.. about today’s mission. That Annie’s planning shit…”

His little smile trembled for a moment at those words. Did he heard right? “W-what… what are you talking about?” How? How did he even get to know anything about her? Less have suspicions about something she might do?

"I heard Reiner talking to himself about it in the mirror, do you know anything about this ?" Marco spoke gentle not wanting to spook the taller boy

No way,

Bertholdt thought to himself trying to remain calm, sighing and making a light chuckle, almost innexistent.

"… you know how he is… sometimes he says nonsense… m-maybe… you heard wrong?” he had to take that idea away from the freckled boy, for the good of all of them, there was no need to kill him.

“No no I know he wants because he was reading it from a letter, I took it see ” Marco holds up a letter from Annie

Bert wanted to take that piece of paper and rip it into million pieces right there… how where they so careless

With the paper on his hands he read through it, feeling a shiver go down his spine because Marco now knew too much. When he was done, he just looked at the boy from the corner of his eye... "

..how did you get this?” was his first question, a calm tone still on his voice. “Why did you read it? … This is just… so stupid” progresively his tone turned a bit darker. “I can’t let you go away knowing about this”

"I found it on the floor in the barracks , Reiner I dropped it and I happened to see my name so I got curious , of course you can let me go , like this" Marco turned to walk away, The way the other talked like this was nothing, it seemed like he was mocking him, he hated that, and all this time he always had a soft spot for the freckled boy, they were friends…

but now he knew too much and he was probably going to tell someone, and if he had to choose, his friends were more important.

“Wait” Bert spoke harshly, walking behind him and holding him by his shoulder, making him stoo and turn. “I said… you are not going anywhere” He didn’t wanted to harm him, he didn’t wanted to do anything to him, but if he had too..

"Then what do I do" Marco asked

For a moment Bertholdt remained silent, was he… being serious? Was Marco speaking towards him that way after what he just read?

“… you… really are something… aren’t you afraid?” he was trying his best to look intimidating, but the nervous sweat was taking part of that away. “I could kill you here and now… you know…?” he didn’t wanted to, he couldn’t do it.

"I wanted to die surviving humanity even if that at the hands of a fellow solider, I'll miss Jean a lot and Im scared but I must be brave " Marco bit his lip he was terrified but acted calm to throw off Bert

His words felt almost like nothing, he knew that, it was obvious, everyone here was somehow brave… he was envious of them, because he wasn’t, the way his grip over Marco’s shoulder was trembling was enough to understand he was scared of everything that could happen.

“You must be brave… yes… too brave… because you came directly to tell me this… why? Why did you do it? Of all the options…” Bert was loosing himself, his expression seemed to be more pained now. “You decided it was a good idea to tell me that you know"

“Because when you kill me I want you to look in my eyes and remember the lies you said ” Marcos tone was flat no emotion left

He looked around nervous Reiner was coming from behind , with a quick shoulder check he knew he was safe for now , Marco wasn’t brave , Marco finally was gonna get peace

His eyes widened at those words, Marco was testing him, pushing him too further from his own good and his grip got tighter.

“Not everything were lies…” at that moment, it was too much to stand it, he felt all his thoughts too tangled to even react properly, he didn't knew what exactly to do until he saw his friend.

“Wait…” Reiner mumbled, this wasn’t the moment yet, Marco still had things to do.

"You denied it“ Marco spoke grabbing the letter and slipping away from Bert ”let see what Erwin thinks“

When Marco made his run he felt paralyzed for a moment, this wasn’t a game, why was the other treating things so lightly? In such irresponsible manner?

Bert ran after him, his legs being being larger made him the task to get to heam easy, making a jump holding him by the waist and pulling both of them to the ground with a loud sound.

“You… are not going anywhere” he mumbled, getting on top of him so the other couldn’t move.

“let me go” Marco screamed kicking at bertholdts body

“N-no! I can’t…” He covered his own mouth not wanting to let any pained sounds from Marcos kicks escape. “I can’t let you go… Just stay still.

He had no more choices…

He punched him hard on the face once, but the other boy kept struggling to get away, so he punched him once more, and another more… this was horrible.

Marco lied there bleed and weak , his last resort was to bite Berts hand to get it off his shoulder , he bit hard the taste of blood in his mouth. Even when he bit his hand he just couldn’t stop this and let him ran away, but he couldn’t hit him once more, he wished he had a strong will, but it was just too much. He tried to knock him out, but… no way.

“Marco please… just stop” spoke lowering his head, as steam started to get out of his hand.

"Let me go please“ Marco begged sobbing at this point , this was it he was gonna die , only if he kept his mouth shut , only if he didn’t sass , Those tears got to him, he felt his own vision turning blurry, but he felt so angry and confused.

“… I ca-can’t… I can’t allow that… If I do… y-you… will get them killed… our mission will fail… I-I can’t let you go”

"But I won’t Bert please“ Marco cried harder "fine then just kill me please ”

“I-I can’t trust you…” but those last words… those were what caught him by surprise and him stutter even more, even moving sligtly away but not letting his grip on the other get any lighter. “What… are you saying? Why do you want to die so badly?”

"I’m tired of living , of starving , of hurting the people I love , you guys were right to want to kill me , for I am nothing “ Marco closed his eyes hoping this pain he felt would leave but it just grew more insense

Marco had a big point, he was tired too, of so many things, but what else he could do than keep going? Didn’t Marco had any reason to do the same?

“What… what about your friends? Aren’t they reason enough to keep going?” What was he talking about? There was no need to have a conversation with the freckled boy right now, he had him so ready to kill, to make no one know for a bit longer.

"No, Jean doesn’t need my shit . Just get it over with I’m in too much pain , please just do it or let me go I’ll do anything at this point ” Marco voice was barley audible the pain too much , he kept his eyes closed as the tears pour out the blood running with them as the tears stinged in the wounds

He closed his eyes tightly, he couldn’t do it, not just like that, but letting him go away and tell the supperiors… no, they needed to finish their mission, to return home.

“… I’m sorry…” Bertholdt mumbled as he now moved his hands to Marco’s neck, putting some pressure on it asn his body shook. “I’m… so sorry…” his grip grew tighter… and tighter.

Marco felt the pressure , tear streamed faster as the world felt Dizzie he could no longer open his eyes suddenly the world around him went numb his body lying there barely a heart beat. It was when he couldn’t feel the other moving that he stopped, leaning a bit towards the boy almost resting his forehead over his as tears started to roll down his cheeks. His body was shaking, he felt his stomach turning. He didn’t wanted to do that, but if he knew something, is that he would have to repeat this action again. He wasn’t ready for this.

Marco felt his presence alive enough to slowly pull his hand to bertholdts , “tell Jean I-l love him , tell him I was going to ask him out tonight .”

Surprise hit him when Marco’s faint voice reached his ears, looking at him wide eyed. He couldn’t do that… he just couldn’t… Jean wasn’t going to take it fine (obviously), knowing that… he was dead.

“Y-yes… I’ll tell him” mumbled between tears. Lies.

Marco finally succumbed to death as Jean walked down the hall to see Bert on top of Marcos life less body , hands on his neck , a small sob came from Jean as he stared not know what to do

“I’m sorry…” he mumbled once more until he heard a sob that froze him, wide eyed he turned his head slowly to find Jean standing there. Watching. Camera in hand

He saw it.

“Je… Jean…”

Jean turned to anger running towards bertholdt pinning him against the wall “how dare you hurt him , how dare you, you fucking traitor what did he ever do to you ” Jean screamed sobbing

The taller boy felt his body shaking, he almost couldn’t stand on his feet when Jean pushed him against the wall. He had no answer to offer him, there was nothing he could say and he didn’t wanted to die yet.

“Jean…” Repeated his name again. “I-I… I… Marco told me to do it…” Bertholdt said closing his eyes as more tears fell. “He told to kill him…” He felt like the worst.

"Bullshit" Jean cursed , grip tightening around the boys neck, "Marco told me he came here to confront you about the stupid fucking letter, I told him to let me come along I didn't want him alone, but he insisted. Now he's dead my boyfriend is dead. Cause of you , you stupid fucking bitch "

This was so wrong, he felt so confused about what was going on, he couldn’t stand it.

“Hu… huh?” Was all he could say, feeling sweat dripping down his neck and forehead. How many people did he told? “… s-so… a-are you going to kill me…?” the question almost got stuck in his throat as he closed his eyes.

“I’m taking you to Erwin ” Jean put Bert in a head lock, That was surprising, but the tug on his hair only helped Bert, his hands where free and he hit Jean on his lower stomach so he would release him.

“I’m not going anywhere” running wasn’t the best option, staying wasn’t the best option, nothing seemed to be fine for him. He needed to think quick. Running would at least grant him some time to get back to Reiner and get away from there, and so he hurried to get away from Jean.

Jean ran after ignoring the pain , grabbing Bertholdt and shoving him in Erwin's office "what's going on" Erwin commanded , grabbing the boys

The moment Jean was able to grab him he knew this was the end, and the moment he was pushed inside Erwin’s office it was obviously over for him.

Bertholdt looked down onto the ground, not being able to move, eyes wide and tears still on the corner of his eyes. He didn’t wanted to be there, he needed to get out, he had to

Jean looks at Erwin “he murdered Marco ” Jean rummaged in his pocket and pulls out a polaroid he took showing it to the commander. Erwin then took Bertholdt down in the jail cell in the doungen until more info was obtained , “ why did you do this Bert , why ”

He was sitting in a corner of the cell, legs held tightly against his chest looking down, not daring to face Erwin.

He seemed like he was about to answer,but instead, Bertholdt decided to stay silent, not saying a word was best, this could grant them some time.

Erwin look serious , voice deeping “tell me or you could face death ”

At that he buried his head between his arms, hands starting to get over his dark locks.

“I’m going to die anyway… I’m sure…” Bert finally spoke

"Not if we can find you help " Erwin spoke soft and reassuring

“Nonsense” Bert spoke back. “You have no idea… I-I… I doubt anyone will help me at this rate…”

Erwin looked at Bertholdt “I am willing to help”

“You won’t, commander… not when you discover what… what I… am” Bert went silent again.

“I know you're the colossal I've read the letter” Erwin replied

His body shook at that, starting to tremble.

“D-don’t you… ha-hate me?” Berts voice came out cracked. “I’m humanities greatest enemy… after all”

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