#this chapter was so hard for no reason | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coffeehighallthetime-blog · 5 months

Text

I Am Kind not Complacent Chpt 8

chpt 8

word count: 6K

pairing: gow heimdall x reader, young

A/N: hello, again. it's been a minute. I'm sorry this is late, I have been going through it 👉👈 again! just busy end of the year craziness. also everytime I opened this document it made me want to scream. I still don't love it???? but I guess that's ok. this is for fun and I need to remember that. thank you as usual to everyone who likes and comments and thank you for your patience, I hope you enjoy it <3

P.S: I named our reader for this chapter. Her name is Yen, it's close to YN for ppl who still want to read it that way but is also more of a name for people who have an easier time with that. let me know how you guys feel about it and I can change it or not. i just wanted to test out a "name" to make the writing feel a little less clunky but idk :\

@engardeitsme I'm back!! i missed you :..) i hope you enjoy and thank you for talking with me a couple weeks ago!

prev-next

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“Why are your teeth gold?”

Heimdall turned his head to look at the girl, a brow raised.

“What?”

“Why are your teeth gold?” The girl repeated, tapping her incisor with her nail. He snorted, shaking his head.

“ I heard you. It’s just a stupid question, so I was allowing you the opportunity to change it.”

“ Oh,” she took a moment to ponder and spoke again, “Are they solid gold, or are they just gold plated?” She smirked at him. Heimdall rolled his eyes, folding his arms behind his head.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to say things about a person’s appearance they can’t change?...oh, wait! I guess she couldn’t.” Yen’s mischievous smile quickly pulled into a pout.

“Hey!” Heimdall cackled as a hand came down to smack his chest, and he grabbed the girl’s wrist to stop another blow.

“I let you get one in out of pity.” she pulled her wrist free.

“Yeah well, didn’t your precious All-Father ever tell you-... oh wait, that’s right he’s too busy ignoring you to teach you any manners.” Heimdall frowned, looking up at the girl. Yen sighed, shaking her head. “Poor poor Heimdall. You have all the training in the world on how to be a spoiled prince and a warlord, but you don’t know the first thing about how not to be a prick-!”

The wind was knocked out of her as she suddenly hit the grassy floor, and the two were rolling to the bottom of the hill, a jumble of loose limbs and shouting. Their bodies settle at the bottom, and Heimdall and Yen lay sprawled out next to each other. Heimdall looked at the girl, grass in her hair and a smear of mud across her right cheek. She had green stains on her shoulders and pebbles bunched up in the folds of her shirt. He did not look better, with dandelion seeds in his braids and rocks digging into his back. His pristine white shirt was covered in yellow, green, and brown. Their chests heaved and giggles started to bubble before they were both aware. Heimdall heard Yen’s first, her laugh bounding out of her head and out her mouth, between fits of snorts and chuckles. Heimdall found himself mirroring her, his laughter thrumming in his ears as they looked at each other.

“ They’re solid gold,” Heimdall mumbled through a laugh. Yen calmed her own giggles and nodded. They looked up at the sky, watching the clouds shift past their vision. On slow days they had started sparing together, then stopped to talk, sometimes about how bad the other was, sometimes about how they had slept. Yen would offer a walk into the surrounding wood and the boy would refuse, ending their meetings. At some point, however, he started to say yes, despite the idea of stumbling together in twigs and bushes. At some point in the passing days, when the leaves had started to fall and the air had gotten cooler, they would meet at dawn, walk through the woods into a clearing, lay in the tall grass, and talk for as long as they could before their guardians would look for them. Yen would talk endlessly about her different plants and collect cuttings as they walked. Heimdall had somehow found himself holding her pack for her collected specimens.

Yen grabbed her bag and sifted through the plants they had found, humming as she sorted them by type.

“Do you know what those all do?” the boy asked, leaning up on his elbows.

“Vaguely. I’ve learned about some of them. But I also see what the animals in this area are eating and take them home to test them!”

“Test them?”

“Mhm,”

“Like what, you eat them and see what happens?”

“Sometimes,” Yen shrugged, looking over to see Heimdall glaring at her, “What?”

“That’s idiotic! You could get sick, eating random things from the forest floor,” he shivered at the thought, grabbing the pack. Yen frowned and held it farther away from him.

“A little late to be worried, Weasel. Besides, I only test what I’ve seen other animals use. Worse case, I induce regurgitation.” The girl explained that this is how she’s been able to make new medicines and learn the toxicity of poisons to develop antidotes. She let him read her notes and the extent of her research on the Asgardian flora. She was very passionate about her findings, though Heimdall could not stop the sinking feeling of worry. How many times she had gone into the woods alone before he started coming with her.

“ You know we already had a lot of good Asgardian medicine right? There is no reason for you to be doing this.”

“Well that’s not true, “ she smiled softly, pointing to her older notes, “ I’ve had to do this since I lived alone in Vanaheim. It’s important I know myself. When you are alone, who is going to help you?” she shrugged, “ sure it’s a little risky, but to be able to depend on myself? That’s not something I want to give up.”

“But-”

“Besides,” she held a hand up, urging him to let her finish, “ We will be working together in the future, right? If we end up in the middle of nowhere and you get hurt, I want to be able to help you when we don’t have access to Asgardian medicine.” He faltered. She surely couldn’t know more than their medics. Heimdall swallowed a shallow breath and looked away.

“Well… now you’re just being ridiculous.”

“How do you mean?”

“Obviously by the time we will be old enough to go on missions, no enemy will be able to lay a hand on me. So I’ll never be hurt.” Heimdall smirked and Yen snorted, shoving his shoulder lightly. Heimdall pushed his shoulder back against her hand and she giggled shaking her head. There was silence, and he could hear her thoughts swimming. She wanted to show him everything from the past week, but she felt nervous after their conversation on the medicine.

“Right then, show me what you’ve learned,” Heimdall sat up, a small smirk on his lips. Yen frowned, sitting up on her elbows. Heimdall rolled his eyes. “Come off it, you’ve wanted to show off your little trick since we got here.” She bashfully sat the rest of the way up, fiddling with her hands. He looked at her expectantly, hearing her nervousness spinning as she siked herself up. “Any day now.”

“Okay, okay!” She grunted more to herself, shaking her hands to loosen up. She slowed her breath, holding her hands over the grass. “Rót,” she whispered, her palms glowing a violet light, the earth rippled apart as a single vine sprouted slowly, winding up and curling around the girl’s wrist and out. Heimdall’s smirk fell and he just stared as the vine wound around on itself. Leaves and small purple blossoms sprouted from it as it grew thicker. Yen let out a final breath, relaxing her shoulders as the glowing stopped and she looked at her creation, smiling as it flexed and relaxed in the cool breeze. Heimdall leaned forward, getting a better look at the plant.

“ A root?” he asked, reaching to touch it, and had to hold back a laugh when it seemed to reach back out to him. Yen nodded with a small smile.

“Yeah, cool right?” Heimdall shrugged, his lip once again quirked as he teased.

“Eh, sure. Would be better if it did something though. Is it for you to make flower crowns for everyone while they sign peace treaties.” He raised a brow as the girl matched his grin, raising a hand.

“Not exactly. “Rót,” She repeated, snapping her fingers. Heimdall barely took in a breath by the time the vine had darted at him, winding around his leg and lifting him into the air. His body spun stiffly in the air as the root suspended him. A hand reached up to his shoulder, stopping the motion, and his magenta eyes met hers. He looked like a carp out of water, trying to come up with something to say. Yen giggled at the boy’s speechlessness. “You shouldn’t judge things at face value, Heimdall. You of all people should know that.”

“Put me down.”

“Oh, but aren’t you having fun up there?”

“Watch yourself, Songbird,” There was no venom in his words. Nonetheless, she put her hands under him, helping him lower back down into the grass. As he brushed himself off, her magic dissipated and the vine shrank back into the dirt. Yen rocked on her heels, a nervous grin pulling at her cheeks. Heimdall shook his head with a snort. “Okay, yes. That was fairly impressive, and can actually be useful.”

“Even though it's Vanir magic?” she shifted her weight, looking at him nervously. Heimdall’s face softened slightly. He had so many preconceptions before the two had met. How they were savage warriors. Stupid, tricky, untrustworthy. She wasn’t like the Vanir people his father had spoken to him about, and Odin wouldn’t lie to him, right? So that meant the girl must have just been different from them. An exception.

“Don’t make me compliment you again. Once was enough.” Yen knew it was reassurance in his own way, and let it go. Heimdall nudged her shoulder, already starting to walk. “Come on, let’s start heading back.” She smiled and nodded, falling in step with the boy. Heimdall swallowed, his shoulders stiff. “So…what else have you learned?” “Well,” The girl pondered for a moment, thinking through her past lessons. “ Freya showed me how to leave markers to amplify magic, which is pretty neat. But I still need to work on my aim for it. I also know how to grab small objects without touching them now, and I can hopefully do bigger things soon…” She trailed off.

“What?”

“I just… feel like she doesn't want to teach me anymore. She keeps me at basics, but I know I understand it already… I just don’t know if she’s grown tired of it or if I’m just not getting it like I should…” Heimdall frowned. This was not the first time Yen had brought this up.

“She’s always been a stiff. It’s not you.”

“It’s not just her though…” Yen rubbed the back of her neck, looking away as the boy stared.” Don’t do that.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you stopped and just told me what was bugging you… I didn’t know the old goat had started shutting you out too.” Yen swallowed a shallow breath and nodded.

“He’s just… He won’t tell me much more about the other realms when I ask anymore. It’s like they gave me a hobby and dangled it like a carrot for a horse so they could take me away from some bigger picture…when he and Freya started teaching me about plant life and then left me to my own devices… “Yen plucked handfuls of grass from next to her and dropped it just as fast, over and over until there was dirt under her nails as she spoke. “ I wanted to be useful… I drowned myself in it… I wanted to see if it could help me in some way…Odin came to me, congratulating me on my new ‘goddesshood in medicine” she scoffed as she repeated the words. “...I could just tell he was filled with disappointment… at my uselessness. And who can blame him!”Heimdall rolled his eyes.

“You are not useless. Those two are just holding you back. Don’t blame that on the All-Father.”

“I’m not! I just-” She groaned, raking her fingers through the dirt, “Mimir says there’s a lot I don’t know still…but he’s also not showing me things. he says I’m doing well at controlling my powers but I’m just worried that even if I’m not trying… it’s hard wanting to talk to people and not knowing if they agree with you or being nice to you because they want to or because…” she trailed off, looked at the boy next to her, “I don’t want to be… I want…” she struggled to find her words for a moment, “ I want to earn trust, not take it.” She spoke finally, after trying to catch her words. Hiemdall looked at her for a moment, before shrugging.

“I trust you.”

“You do?” she asked, caught off guard by the response. “I guess…I just am worried that-”

“That my change of opinion was your doing? Don’t flatter yourself, Songbird.” Heimdall snorted, bumping her shoulder with his own. “Maybe you can control those braindead Einjhar to do your bidding and treat you like a princess, but I’m a god.”

“So?” Yen frowned, glaring weakly at the boy.

“So?” So, I am the god of foresight. I cannot be swayed by petty tricks. I can sense intention, and since the beginning, I have never felt… uh..” his face grew a light pink as he realized his point. She stared at him, a brow raised, waiting for the end of his thought. Heimdall coughed into his hand, feeling the warmth radiating off his cheek, “I’ve… never felt uneasy around you…I trust you… we were using each other, and we still are,” he looked at her, his lips lifting into a shy grin, “But I don’t mind it anymore…”

Yen’s cheeks started to grow red, her eyes widening slightly and she looked away, feeling herself warm up despite the fall air. Heimdall swallowed, walking faster ahead of the girl.

“Come on, you have your lesson with the old goat and I have a meeting with the All-Father.” Yen grinned. She quickly recovered, coughing and starting a chuckle.

“Oho! So you aren’t being ignored.” She teased, hands crossing behind her back. Heimdall sighed, his hands squeezing at his sides. Odin had wanted to talk to Heimdall about how Yen had progressed, and when she would be of use to him. She caught up the the boy, softening her posture, and nudged him with her elbow. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see. I’m sure he just wants to tell you how well you’re doing!”

“Well of course, I’ve been doing well in my assignments, it’s just a regular report. Nothing to worry about.” Yen chuckled, reaching into a pouch on her belt.

“Hey, I know you may not want to. But I’ve been working on this medicine for your migraines.” she held out the little leather sack to him. He hesitated looking to her for some kind of reassurance. Her thoughts were full of nothing but the want to help. “Don’t worry, it’s just Feverfew and Butterbur mixed with some mint and juniper. Steep it and drink a cup before bed.” He sighed and took the pouch, tucking it into his pocket.

“ You’re pushing this “trust” envelope, and I’ve just admitted to it. I shouldn’t have to take anything for help. I just need to get through it until it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“Humor me. Try it once, and only if you really can’t handle it yourself. Oh, and if you could maybe tell the All-Father how hard I’ve been working… I would appreciate it…”

‘I don’t want to be left behind.’

Her voice echoed in his head. Heimdall looked at the girl as they split ways in the large cabin

“I will.”

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

“It’s been eight months!” Odin’s voice rattled through his study. Mimir stood still, hands behind his back as Odin paced to and fro. Hugin and Munin sat in the rafters, their eyes glowing as they peered down at the men. “ Eight months! And you tell me nothing is progressing with the little thing?”

“Apologies, All-Father, but it appears she is still having a hard time adjusting to Asgard.”

“Pah!” Odin grunted, leaning on his desk. “I’ve seen her, Mimir. She must be holding out on you, or something! Being extra clever. Hiding her powers. Munin has seen her in the woods a few weeks back, using magic. And we know what she is capable of. The question is why is she hiding from us all of a sudden,” Odin paced towards his desk, uncorking a pot of mead. he poured a goblet at held it out to the Goodfellow.

“Ah, no thank you, All-Father,” Mimir waved a hand. Odin huffed and slammed the bottle onto his desk, taking a deep gulp from the goblet.

“She was doing so well before. I offer her safety, offer her family, I offer her trust! And then her progression just halts.”

“Freya has been teaching her, and she has been practicing. We have both encouraged her not to use any magic until she can control herself.” Mimir tried to reassure him without bringing too much attention to the fact the girl was gifted enough to use magic without help. The two had done their best to hide the progression of her gifts to stop the All-Father’s advances from using the girl. But with how strong she was already getting, it was getting more difficult to hide, especially while keeping her in the dark about the fact she couldn’t show her true potential. It had gotten to the point even Mimir and Freya could not keep up with the pace of the girl’s learning. As though she spent hours outside of lessons practicing the control of her magic.

“Well, it’s not working. If anything she’s become stir-crazy. I don’t care if she loses control. I can do damage control! What I can’t do, is use a scared little girl that’s too afraid to use her powers, to help me gain control of the realms! She tried to use it against me! To get me to, what, compliment my son? useless! Don’t you see? We need to get this under control so we can use her, and so that she will not be a threat. It’s already starting to get out of hand. If only we had tracked her down sooner,” Odin’s voice was rough with frustration as he pulled at the ends of his beard. “ She doesn’t even know the extent of what she is. She’s a silly little child, who sees the world as back and white. And I’d like to keep it that way until she fully trusts us. Then we can finally-” Mimir was about to interject when the door to the study opened.

“ I’m here for my report, All-Father,” Heimdall spoke with a short bow. Mimir stiffened and looked at the boy from the corner of his eye. The two gods turned to Heimdall, their figures dark and towering in the candlelight of the darkened amber of the study. They knew. They knew he had heard, how could he not? Heimdall stood ridged at the door, his eyes glowing in the darkened doorway.

‘ The boy will ruin everything,’ Heimdall heard Mimir’s thoughts rattle into his skull. The Goodfellow’s anxiety came off in waves. ‘protect Yen… keep her safe… the lad will say too much…’

Heimdall looked up at Mimir, his brow cocked. Keep Yen safe from what? What wasn’t the old goat sharing with the All-Father? His father would be the one who knows best how to protect the girl if she was in danger. Odin straightened, rolling his shoulder back and nodding his head to his son.

“Come in, Heimdall. Mimir, my friend, we will talk more later. You may leave. You have a lesson with the girl now, don’t you?

“Yes, All-Father,” Mimir bowed, ready to take his leave. As he started to shut the door on his way out, Odin called out.

“And Mimir, please try to push the girl further. I’d like for her to be able to aid in the Jötunheim treaties. It's either that, “He sighed, “ or we may have to call the whole thing off… put her back where she came from.” Mimir nodded, hoping that he could keep the visage of the girl’s powers useless just long enough for Odin to lose interest. Odin however knew something was amiss. He knew just from the small passings with the child that she was brighter than his allies claimed. And he knew exactly who to ask to get the feast of information he craved. Anyone would need to be blind to not see that the two children had grown close. The whisperings from Hunin and Mugin of the two sneaking off to the others’ room in the night, to being spotted in the woods. Odin was pleased, thinking his son finally stepped up to the title of his spy and learning all he could about the Vanir creature. Still, he was worried that the girl may have also tricked his son as well, so he needed to make Heimdall give any information willingly. He picked up a scroll and licked the tip of his quill before dipping it into a pot of ink, scribbling away as he spoke to his son.

“I’m sorry, Heimdall, but it seems I’ve called you here for nothing. Mimir has shared with me how our guest has been doing and it seems the lessons aren’t going anywhere.” Odin rubbed his temple, taking a seat in his chair, “their reports say she is unable to grasp basic concepts, her understanding of both Vanir and Asir magic is only basic, and she seems to be causing more trouble than the entire debacle is worth. I think you were right before, my son. She’s truly better off back home.”

“That’s not true!” Heimdall’s voice carried through the room with an echo. He composed himself, swallowing. Odin looked up from his reports, staring at Heimdall with his good eye, head tilted.

“Not true?” Well, I will say she has been improving her skills of manipulation. What with trying to use them on me? I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d gotten to you, boy. She’s just not worthy to be among us.”

Heimdall swallowed. “She has been doing remarkably well, All-Father. I’ve seen it.”

“Seen it?’ Odin replied, pushing himself from his chair. “Tell me, Heimdall. What Mimir and Freya refuse to.”

“I have gained her trust, All-Father. Mimir and Freya are not being fully honest with you…” The boy’s eyes glinted as he looked at his father across the room, “But I’m not sure why, yet.”

“You are suggesting that my most trusted allies are not being truthful with me, Heimdall? This is a very serious accusation, you understand.” Odin sauntered over to the boy, making him take a step back on instinct. He swallowed, pushing himself back forward, hands behind his back.

“I simply believe she may be… too anxious to show them what she can do. But I have heard from her myself that she is eager to serve Asgard, father. She wants to be of use to you.” Heimdall urged, taking another step closer to his father. Odin hummed, his hand tightening around his staff. Why was the old goat not telling him any of this?

“Heimdall,” Odin started, stalking closer to the boy. “Have you noticed anything in peculiar about the child?” he circled the boy, never looking him in the eye. “Has she shown you things behind closed doors? Anything of use?” Heimdall swallowed, concentrating on his heartbeat.

“ She is… she is able to quiet the mind, All-Father…” Odin halted his steps behind the boy, glancing down at him from the corner of his eye. Heimdall continued. “I’ve seen her… calm people, quiet unruly thoughts… I… she’s done it to me, before.” Odin scoffs.

“I don’t need my soldiers softened.”

“I think it can be of use to you, All-Father.” Heimdall spoke quickly, turning to face the man. “To… to manipulate the other side?” Odin hummed, tilting his staff the boy to urge him to continue. “She also… She also has been studying Asgardian and Vanir magic and has been able to start creating hybrid potions.” Heimdall pulled the medicinal tea from his pocket, turning to hand it to Odin. “She made this, just today… she said it’s for headaches. It’s made from things she studied herself in the woods with the help of Queen Freya’s knowledge. With help… She could use her medicines to strengthen Asgard and weaken enemy forces. I do not know why your allies are hiding this from you, All-Father, but I assure you she is worthy of staying here.” Odin’s lip curled into a grin and he hummed, reaching out to grab the pouch. He took a whiff of the tea. What else were his dear wife and friend hiding? And was it truly even their fault, or was this girl able to weasel her way into their heads?

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

“Mimir, did you know that if you mix yarrow with the inner bark of birch trees, it will cure nearly any stomach ailment.”

“Oh? And did the queen teach you that?”

“Well, sort of. She taught me about yarrow but then while I was with Heimdall in the woods we found some rabbits scratching at birch trees,”

“What were you two doing in the woods?” Mimir interjected, a brow raised. The girl frowned, as she thought this unimportant to her explanation.

“We were brambling,” Yen said, as though this were a normal thing for two twelve-year-old gods. “So anyway, I told him, “Wonder why they’re doing that” but he didn’t seem to care. But I kept watching them and they were licking at the inner bark! so then I collected a sample and see what it could be used for, and guess what!”

“Wait wait, you tested this on yourself?”

“Well I didn’t want to poison anyone,” she shrugged, then pointed at her findings. “look see? I tested it with different plant combinations and by itself.” she rolled her sleeves up to reveal some light scares. “I tested to see if it could used for physical injuries, but it didn’t do much. So then I thought, “Maybe it’s for internal problems?” so then I ate some nightshade berries-”

“You did what?!”

“It’s ok, it was just a couple-”

“Lass, lass…” Mimir rubbed his face, trying hard not to shout with frustration. She truly had turned into quite the little scientist, and though most of the time Mimir found her brilliant, it was not hard to also easily find himself drowning with worry. Like when she had measured the amount of toxicity needed to be consumed from said nightshades to cause death and even made some medicines from the poisonous plant as well. All this to say, this was not a special occurrence, but it worried the Goodfellow just the same every time. “You are… quite the little toxicologist,” he chucked through his nervousness, reading the girl’s findings while wringing his hands together. “I thought we talked about this. About being more careful about-” he sighed, “About not using yourself as an experiment. We have all the medicine you would need here, why go and try to make more, hurting yourself in the process?” Yen’s excitement wilted as she wrang her own hands out, a tick she had picked up from the man, gods forbid he ever lost his hands.

“Well… what if we don’t have anymore? What if someone gets hurt and the medicine we have doesn’t work? What if someone accidentally eats nightshade?... I just want to be prepared. Help people…be useful…”

“You are useful, Sweet girl.” Mimir assured, “ And despite my points… you are right… you have found many interesting findings and new medicines for Asgard.

“ Then why won’t the All-Father show any interest in me? Has he forgotten about me?” She looked up at the man, her eyes pleading. “ Does he not see I’m willing to sacrifice myself to be of use, here? You tell him everything I’ve done right?” Mimir swallowed and nodded.

“Of course, Daughter. I tell him all the time about how much you’re progressing.” his lies stung his throat, but not as much as knowing what Odin would use her for if he knew her actual potential.

“Then… I’m just not good enough, then…” She whispered to herself. Mimir shook his head, unable to hold in his utter disbelief.

“Not good enough? That’s not even a funny joke, Lass!” she looked up at the puck, confused.”

“But I’m not-”

“Nope! Surely you’re mistaken. It must have been a joke. Because I’m sitting in front of a child goddess who’s been here less than a year and already knows more about medicine than most of our damn medics! A girl, who can command the attention of an entire room! A girl who put that little brat prince in his place and even became his friend!”

“I-I wouldn’t say we’re-”

“That boy would not bother walking into the woods and waiting, albit annoyed at your birch bark notes if you weren’t friends.” she shut her mouth, a flush on her face. Mimir chuckled, crouching down to her level. “ You are fiercely kind in the face of the strange and taxing, you are sharp as a blade and undeniably brilliant. And the All-Father will see so soon enough.”

The girl left after her lesson and Mimir dropped his hopefulness, falling into his chair and grabbing his book of observations. A list of words describing his little companion. his face faded as he read down the list after a few months of teaching the girl. his hand trembled as he wrote down his recent evaluation. Odin had been right. She saw the world as black and white, and truly wanted to be good. But the truth was simply not that simple. Nothing ever was. Mimir had wanted to keep her in the dark for just a day longer. Let her see herself in the sun for one more day. But that was dangerous and he knew it. Mimir moved to the margin, where he had her goddesshoods marked, on the first day, he had written her base abilities and what they thought she was at first. “Goddess of peace, goddess of logic…goddess of medicine…” goddess of…

He needed to speak to Freya. She would be better at giving Yen the news. Tell her that everything has a shadow.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

“I need to show you something,” Yen looked up from her notes to see Freya standing in front of her. Her face was stone, and the shadows of the sun through the window fanned over her face, painting her worry marks. Yen frowned, sitting up a bit straighter and setting her pencil down.

“Show me what?”

“ Just come with me, and we'll talk, alright?” Freya offered a steady hand, and Yen took it, her little fingers enveloped fully in the Valkyrie’s gloved hand. She ushered her tenderly towards the fireplace and they sat down on the bundle of furs and tapestries on the floor. Yen sat across from Freya and watched as she pulled some research journals, illustrations, and scrolls. “When you are ready,” Freya spoke, sliding the scrolls to Yen. There was not another word between the two, just the crackle and pop of wood splintering in the fire. As Yen stared at the pages, Freya was patient, watching and waiting for the girl to start reading when she was ready. Yen finally picked up the journals and did not finish reading until she had gone through every document.

The day her village had burned to the ground.

The first time she told Freya she should have died, were she mortal, but didn’t.

The resources of different towns and villages, of a girl wandering into their domain and leaving without a trace. Some spoke of her kind words and the peace she brought to them. But in the timeline, soon it was nothing but stories of ruin. Of villages filled with nothing but drones. shells of what were once beautiful towns and cultures reduced to nothingness. What was once left to be peaceful and logic-built structures soon dissolved into a spiral of selfish behaviors. Stealing instead of trading, abandoning children, and killing people to take their land. How was a child to know such loose rules would lead mortals to find twisted loopholes? Then again isn’t that what mortals are best at?

“Why are you showing me this?” Yen whispered, rubbing at her eyes as her vision got blurry. “I know all this already, I know that I made a mistake b-because I was stupid, why are you doing this to me?” she spoke, her voice harsher this time as she finally looked up at Freya, who sat still, keeping her eyes cast down.

“Because you need to know why you can do these things,” Freya spoke, sifting through the journals, bringing one up and flipping through to a page. “Here. this one. What did you say to this village before you left them?”

“I don’t want to do this-”

“What did you say.” Freya’s voice boomed against the walls of books surrounding them, and Yen squeezed her hands against the knobs of her knees.

“I said…” she mumbled, trying to remember her last commands, “I told them to walk away from the battlefield….to take care of themselves…”

“And they did…” Freya spoke softly now, “And when they take care of themselves, they stop taking care of their community. They left each other for dead.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Yen’s voice crumbled into sobs, her shoulders shaking, “I-I didn’t want them to-”

“Breath, Yen…breath,” Freya rested a hand on the girl’s head, letting her take her time to ground herself. “Your words have power, but so do your intentions. If we can practice properly, we will be able to give simple demands without worrying how they will be interpreted. On the other hand…” Freya continued, pointing at a different passage. “It almost seems as though your powers currently default to pushing people towards disarray… which means I believe we have found for certain the two sides of your coin.” she grabbed the girl’s shoulders, squeezing just slightly. Yen looked up, her tears slowing. Freya sighed, calming her heartbeat. “Yen, ever since you came to Asgard,…even before we met, I have seen you. You are the goddess of peace and logic and that can be seen from your ability to defuse altercations and to calm even the most ill-tempered…but I’ve also seen how out of sorts your own temper can get…how angry you are inside…”

“I’m not angry,” Yen whispered, but Freya shook her head, shushing the girl.

“You are angry, and in pain and uncertain. You use logic at one turn and act on impulse at the other. You are a paradox, sweet girl.” Freya held the girl’s face in her calloused hands. “ And I know you know…you are a smart girl, and you’ve been putting the pieces together yourself.” Yen placed her hands over Freya's, and she could feel her little fingers tremble over her own.

“I don’t know what to do…”

“Chaos is not something to be afraid of…” Freya smiled just a bit, holding the girl’s face tighter. “It is the order of the world. It is an order of all things. And it is also not all that you are. Do you remember what I said before? About how we were going to find all your sides and help you put them together?” Yen could barely nod with her face trapped in the woman’s hands. The Valkeryie laughed, pressing their heads together. “You will be ok, goddess of peace, goddess of logic… goddess of medicine and healing…” She offered, to soften this very blow, “goddess of chaos, goddess of discord.”

A Cocauphany. That’s all you could call it. As sobs reverberated through the room, thrumming between the two until there was nothing left.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆☾⋆⭒˚｡⋆

#gow x you #heimdall gow #heimdall x reader #god of war ragnarok #god of war x reader #gow heimdall #heimdall x you #i am kind not complacent #god of war ragnarok x reader #coffeehighallthetime blog #this chapter was so hard for no reason #i still hate her #but i'm trying to not care and have fun

35 notes · View notes

phantomrose96 · 2 months

Note

i just caught up with a breach of trust and I don't even know WHAT to say. thank you? jesus christ? oh my god? my husband and friends all hate me bc I won't shut up about it? I've never read a fanfic that could hold a candle? a match even? I've been reading in all my spare time. I've had dreams bc it's the last thing I'm thinking about at night. then I read more over breakfast. WOW? wowowowow? thank you again?

(A Breach of Trust)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thank you for being as brain-rotted as I am over this Utter Behemoth of a fic!! It's woven into the fabric of my being at this point.

I've poured my heart and soul into it and it means so so much to me, so hearing that OTHER people are like, bothering the people in their OWN lives about it? Wow. I'm very happy over the notion that there are strangers who know vaguely of ABoT because their loved one wanted to tell them all about it.

I've really loved building it up from an empty Word document. I'm really happy and lucky other people have come along for that. Thank you!!

#A Breach of Trust #ABoT #isa-ah #and there IS more to come #at least 5 more chapters #which in writer speak probably means 7 or 8 #its been on hiatus for life-reasons and not for lost-interest reasons #in fact that 'woven into the fabric of my being' thing--#you know that thing where you listen to an old song and it nostalgia-BLASTS you with your life from that period?#stuff ive written does that for me #ABoT ESPECIALLY #its followed me so far #and i had some life changes which made it hard to pick up the next chapter #since it blasts me with 'REMEMBER how things used to be'#but im untangling that #and making progress on ch48 #ALSO. I AM EATNG THAT FANART YOU MADE #I SAW IT RIGHT BEFORE THAT #IM DOING CARTWHEELS ABOUT IT

135 notes · View notes

petite-phthora · 8 months

Text

This yours?

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first... murder? - part 12]

<< Prev | Next >>

Part 1

Ao3

---

Somewhere else, in a seemingly abandoned building on the outskirts of the city, a figure shrouded in darkness and wearing a dark cloak plots.

In front of them is a whiteboard. It’s covered in pictures, sticky notes, and illegible texts. Some of the notes thrown about that are legible are ‘fight…’, ‘draw blood.’, and ‘DEATH!!!’.

There’s a crude stick figure drawn in the corner of the board, it’s impaled. Other small doodles can also be found all around the board.

Most of the information and pictures are connected by red strings, like you see in movies.

In the middle is a picture of 2 people sitting on a motorcycle, the arms of the person sitting in the back are around the waist of the person sitting in the front. The picture has some arrows pointing towards it and the people in the picture are very obviously circled.

Though the face of the person driving the motorcycle is obscured by their helmet, the other person seems to be heavily blushing and grinning broadly.

“Yes… yes! That’s it! I know what to do…” They seem to be speaking to themselves.

Quickly, the person scribbles down a barely legible ‘sacrifice!!‘.

They start cackling.

“Mwuahaha!”

It’s an evil laugh they’ve been working on for quite a while now, and they’re pretty proud of it.

However, the effect is slightly ruined when a fly enters their mouth, cutting off their cackling with choking as they gasp for air, grasping at their throat.

A few good thumps against their chest, with some coughing out their lungs, helps them dislodge the fly from their throat and they spit it out on the ground. They take a few deep breaths before straightening up again.

“Curse you” the person exclaims, angrily waving their fist at the fly as it flies away.

---

Bruce’s face gives off nothing as he stares at the streets down below. He’s dressed as Batman, crouched at the edge of a building with Damian by his side as Robin. Spoiler, Black Bat, Nightwing, and Red Robin are further back on the rooftop.

They watch in silence as another group of the Joker’s goons passes by. They’ve been all over the city, wandering around, not doing anything obviously illegal.

They don’t stay in one place and they don’t seem to have much of a purpose. No attacks… No stealing… No smuggling or transport of goods… No, instead they’re inspecting every single inch of the city.

They don’t seem to have any weapons on them. All they’re carrying on them are some flashlights. While most don’t give anything away with their body language or expressions, some seem to give off a bit of anxious energy.

Spoiler claimed she even saw some of them climb down into the sewers earlier and then climbing out again sometime later somewhere else, but this time ‘dejected and stinky’.

One thing seems clear to the Bats.

They’re searching for something… or someone.

“This basically confirms that not even the Joker’s henchmen know where he is. He’s missing.”

“I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing”

“Good… thing?”

“It’s… something. That’s for sure.”

“We don’t know if he’s really missing. For all we know it could be a trap. What if the Joker is hiding, pretending to be missing to have us bring our guard down? Besides, how could he be missing? He’s the Joker. No one’s just gonna kidnap him”

“For all we know he could be lying dead in a ditch somewhere”

“I highly doubt that”

“Everyone, focus” Bruce speaks up, having them draw their attention to him.

“It’s unclear whether the Joker is simply hiding away or missing. Instead of focusing on the why, we need to focus on the where. Missing or not, we need to find him and get him back to Arkham. Oracle, have you managed to find out anything from the footage yet?”

“Nope, still nothing. All the files from the moment he enters Crime Alley are wiped and any attempt at recovering them only brings back corrupted files.”

“We need Red Hood. Where is he?” Bruce asks.

“He still has his phone on silent and he has removed the trackers and cams. We haven’t placed any new ones on him yet”

“Let’s visit him on his turf then. And keep an eye out for anything suspicious in the meantime. Oracle, try recovering the missing files. If that doesn’t work, go back to the breakout footage. Perhaps he left some kind of clues about his plans or whereabouts behind there.” Bruce states.

“Roger that.”

---

Red Hood has his arms by his sides as he gazes down upon the street below from the rooftop of a random apartment building in Crime Alley.

He’s lucky to have avoided the Bats so far. But he doubts his luck will last for long.

Red Hood stiffens as he suddenly feels something clamp down on his arm. As a reflex, his other hand has already drawn his gun.

He slowly raises the arm he felt something clamp down on and looks at it, only to make eye contact with a girl with black hair and blue eyes who has sunk her teeth into his arm and is now hanging off of it.

The teeth are sharp, as the girl seems to have some small fangs. They’ve gone through his jacket and sunken into his skin.

It doesn’t really hurt all that badly though, probably hasn’t even drawn much blood, and that’s one of the only reasons Jason hasn’t flung the kid off of him yet. Another reason is the fact that it’s a kid.

They both stare at each other for several seconds.

As Jason takes her appearance in, he notices that she seems rather familiar. In fact, she looks like a more feminine version of Danny, or if Danny had a twin.

The person hanging off of his arm looks younger than Danny though, probably a teenager around 13 or 14, if he had to make a guess.

Slowly, he puts his gun away and takes out his phone with his other hand, watching the random girl’s eyes follow his movements. He raises it level with her face and snaps a picture, quickly sending it to Danny and ignoring the girl’s curious gaze while she’s still hanging onto his arm by her fucking teeth.

---

Meanwhile, Danny checks his phone to see Red Hood sent him a message. He opens it and is greeted by a picture of Ellie in human form biting down on Red Hood’s arm with the caption ‘this yours???’

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea @uraniumwizard @why-must-i-be-like-this @griffinthing

#dp x dc #dp x dc fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #dead on main #dead on main ship #Im wondering how easy/hard it is to guess who the person is #and also yes its supposed to have stereotypically comedic 'evil'/'villain' vibes #the person did that on purpose because they are dramatic and have style #also i aged ellie down a little from how old she *should* be cause i felt like it fit better #If you need a reason maybe she like ages a little bit slower due to being a clone or something idk #oh and i have a question for you all #should i make a masterpost??#i have like the very first chapter pinned but i feel like a masterpost might be better #especially cause like i already have 12 chapters and the story is only getting longer #damn this story has gone further than expected from a oneshot lol #it all started with me just tinking it'd be funny if like #a character was basically in shock but was still like nah I cant just kiss someone without consent lol #also I said id post like 5-6 chapters and this is still only like 6k :( i really need to write more ;-;#and also if y'all haven't noticed already #all I know of dc is through fanfics and fandom posts #though I really want to start reading the comics #i just haven't really had the time nor do I really know what's good and where to start #so like if anyone has any recommendations for dc/batfam comics they are more than welcome!! ^-^

217 notes · View notes

peachcitt · 2 years

Text

work title: metamorphosis

art by @anna-scribbles

chapter title: house of cards

chapter summary:

“I want to make it clear I’m not here to catch up,” Adrien says evenly, and it’s a marvel that he doesn’t throw up.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow, so annoyingly amused. “Then why are you here exactly, son?” he asks, his lips twitching up at the word ‘son,’ his eyes narrowing. He’s taunting him, trying to work him up, break him down, make him feel guilty. He’s just a father, alone in prison without visits from his son. He’s just a husband, doing what’s best for his family.

As if.

read this chapter here

i have permission to post anna’s art. as you do not, you should not.

thanks for reading and see y’all next week!!

#metamorphosis #adrien agreste #gabriel agreste #chat noir #mlb art #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #ml #ml fic #haha i didn’t have time to do my chapter read through until today and boy oh boy you would not believe how insane this chapter is #i forgot i just. went hard for no reason on this one. sorry not sorry in advance<3 #also BY THE WAY. this chapter cover makes me SO insane. anna is so insane for this. so so so insane

1K notes · View notes

en-chi-la-da · 6 months

Note

What are your thoughts on Yuma x Vivia? I seem to be in the minority cause Vivia's mostly shipped with Yakou, but I personally see Yakou as more of a father figure to Vivia. Also amazing art as always.

short answer: they mean da world 2 me 💜

#rain code #kokolight #ask draw #long answer> UHHH chapter 4 is so good for many reasons. ch 4 really helps jumpstart them as a duo/pair and ESPECIALLY #as character foils. one example being their opposite views of what it means to fight for the truth as detectives #vivia wanting to believe in a safe lie vs yuma wanting to find the cold hard truth #and with vivia finally wanting to aid yuma in the mystery labyrinth despite the harsh truth bc yuma helped HIM #with finally understanding his role as a detective. and having to come to terms with facing the truth even if it's hard and sucks :(#PLUS THE GUMSHOE GABS AND THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE obvs #'guy who's a bit short x guy who's too fukcing long' lmao #vivia twilight #yuma kokohead #mdarc #master detective archives: rain code #ari art #i actually have a bigger kokolight post ive been itching to draw so look out for that too eventually ✌🏼#AND TY ANON!! i can also see yakou as a father figure but with yuma mostly lol #or at least the older cousin you know that's kinda wierd but you still like hanging out with them :) that's what yakou can be #to the NDA gang LMAO

104 notes · View notes

dazais-guardian-angel · 8 months

Text

Okay, a good amount of time has passed, and after having seen this post by @weretiger-be-my-horse , I've been turning it over and over in my brain going absolutely feral over this concept. I need to expand upon my thoughts on this idea and all the evidence there is pointing towards it, whether that be actual tangible things, or purely strong vibes I have.

First of all, full disclaimer: I did not like the season 5 finale, and how it wrapped up the DoA arc. To say that I "disliked" it is putting it extremely lightly, in fact -- I absolutely hated it, and I am still, to a degree, in disbelief that I actually even watched those 24 minutes with my own two eyes, and that it somehow wasn't a complete fever dream. While I'm not going to go in long-winded detail into all the ways that I feel like the finale almost completely bastardized all of its featured characters and destroyed any and all buildup we've had going on in this arc for 50 some chapters now, because that's not the main point of this post, I will not make any attempt to hide the fact that the theory-crafting I'm about to pose here is partly influenced and prompted by how much I hated the finale, and how much I desperately hope that it will not end up being manga canon. Therefore, if you enjoyed the finale — and that's fine! — and don't want to read any negativity about it, then I would not recommend reading any further (I mean, you've probably already left by this point, which is fair lol), While obviously it's important that I be as objective and unbiased as possible when explaining my thoughts, some of my negative feelings about the writing will be a part of this analysis, even if this isn't going to be a full-blown rant. Just know that if you proceed.

With that out of the way, let me continue.

So. In the aforementioned post, the theory presented is that the anime may be operating on an alternate timeline, and that this will become evident once we read the upcoming October chapter, wherein things will go completely differently post-chapter 110 than they do in the final episode — probably for the worse, with the s5 finale intending to lull us into a false sense of security and make us assume that everything in the manga arc finale will wrap up as smoothly and consequence-freely(? lol) as it did in the anime one. It also suggests that the Fukuchi we see at the very end that sskk are fighting came from the manga timeline, where he won, and that he used the Book to jump to a timeline where he lost, the anime one, proven by the fact that this Fukuchi is wearing a mask with the same design on it as the mask Fukuchi is wearing on the chapter 110 DoA color spread/title page.

First of all, I want to note the fact that it's not just the mask design that's the same: the entire outfit is roughly more or less the same as well. It's not completely 1-to-1, because the anime can never fully match the intricacies of Harukawa's beautiful outfit designs, and the Fukuchi in this scene has the kimono half-off because of the... super saiyan mode he's in, but most all of the main pieces of clothing are there. Any small inaccuracies could also be attributed to the fact that Harukawa probably didn't have this finalized art ready back when this episode was being made, so the animators wouldn't have had the complete design to work off of. But in general, because it's all so similar, I think we can quite confidently say that the ending episode Fukuchi is meant to be the one from this manga art.

Also, people have pointed this out, but it's worth mentioning that the mask Asagiri wore at Anime Expo in July was referencing this Fukuchi. It's not a crucial detail, but it just proves more that Asagiri is a gigantic fucking troll, and that he clearly wanted to draw attention to this Fukuchi design. It's important. He describes the mask here as made in the motif of an ellipses inside a speech bubble... could that perhaps be referencing meta aspects, like the Book?

Next, I want to talk about the even bigger elephant in the room, which to me is the most damning and undeniable piece of evidence there is of the anime operating on a completely separate timeline from the manga:

This Fucking Hand™️

As we all know, in the anime, Fyodor injures his hand when the password input device blows up, and as we all know, this does not happen in the manga. In the last episode, Dazai claims that the final nail in the coffin of his impromptu plan to kill Fyodor relied on this hand injury: because Fyodor couldn't pilot his escape helicopter himself, he would ask one of his Meursault vampires to do it for him, unaware that Bram and thus this vampire was now on the ADA's side, and said vampire could kill him while his guard was down.

Ignoring how utterly stupid and contrived this plan is when you stop and think about it for more than two seconds, the fact of the matter is that something that initially seemed like nothing more than an odd but inconsequential anime original addition ended up snowballing into being the entire reason one of the big bads was brought down. If Fyodor hadn't hurt his hand, he wouldn't have needed another pilot, and so the traitor vampire wouldn't have had an opportunity to get near him and kill him without him expecting it even though said vampire was presumably with him as they were leaving Meursault, and was probably already a traitor by then, so there was plenty opportunity for him to still die. not to mention by Chuuya's hands at literally any time he wanted to, because Chuuya was coherent the whole time. Also there's absolutely no way Dazai could have known exactly what Ranpo would do, no matter how smart he is and how much he trusts him. idk it's fucking dumb, just roll with it. Therefore, putting aside all other variables for now, we can conclude that, on the most basic level, this signifies that no hand wound = no death.

And let me tell you, this hand wound bothers me. It really, really does. Because they focus on it a LOT — they go out of their way to draw attention to it MULTIPLE TIMES, from the moment it first happens to the end of the season. Fyodor even talks about it to himself, about Dazai being able to cause him tangible, visible, bodily harm, (something that, again, as far as we've seen, has never happened in the manga). Hell, even after Fyodor's death, they're still drawing attention to it, because his right arm is all of him that survives, and Dazai picks it up and gives it to Nikolai to do his hilarious sad little gay fondling of it played completely straight even though there's nothing straight going on here at all! It's like it's a big red flashing sign at all times going "you see this injured hand? This is important. Are you picking up that it's important? Are you taking note of it?" Why is that? Obviously, it serves to give us the lore crumbs about Fyodor and "that man", but that's hardly the main, much more glaring reason, as I've already mentioned.

Fyodor doesn't hurt his hand in the manga. Fyodor won't die here in the manga. I am so dead serious by this point about this, and it's not just simply the fact that this was absolutely not at all the time for him to die, or the fact that his hand is the reason for his death in the anime in and of itself, but how much EMPHASIS they place on this, and on the hand in general. What would be the point of adding something like this, if it's not meant to alert us to the fact that it has a major impact on how the story plays out? We all know Bones: they struggle to get right and include everything that's already there in the source material; they would never go out of their way to add something this noteworthy if there wasn't a very good reason for it, if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I've seen a few people bring up the fact that Fyodor gets shot in the shoulder by Sigma and that that could lead to the same outcome in the manga, but I disagree: although he has blood on his shoulder in the manga, it seems like the bullet just grazed the top of it, because his arm and hand appears completely functional afterwards (not hanging limp by his side or anything). But that doesn't even matter, because this isn't even about the semantics/logistics of how the hand wound caused Fyodor's death because again, it's a stupid outcome, or what could serve as a substitute in the manga — thematically, this is a textbook example of the butterfly effect. Countless parallel universes exist within this series, ones where even the most minute differences lead to a majorly different outcome: this just happens to be one of them. There's no reason to think it isn't, and there's no reason to not think that the anime wants us to clue into the fact that things only went as smoothly as they did on the Meursault side because of this wound; in other words, that things will go very differently in the manga thanks to the absence of said wound. They wouldn't have added it in the first place and put such clearly deliberate emphasis on it otherwise.

Things are going to happen very differently in the manga, at least when it comes to the Meursault crew (but then, if you assume that, you then naturally assume it all will be very different). This is the only conclusion one can come to with the presentation of this anime-only wound, combined with the fact that parallel universes are a very real thing in BSD.

I'm going to go on a bit of a tangent, so bear with me. I play a lot of visual novels, and although such concepts aren't really as original now as they were a while ago, some of my favorite and some of the very best VNs out there are the ones that break the fourth wall and make the visual novel branching route format directly intertwined with the story: you know, the ones where the characters go "if only I had done things differently, maybe everything would have turned out better...!" in a wink wink nudge nudge moment, and the ones where the characters are aware of the different timelines, even, or even have the ability to gain information from their selves in said alternate timelines to influence events in their current one (I'm intentionally not naming the games I'm thinking of for the sake of spoilers, but if you know, you know lmao). It gets very meta in this regard, and this is how I started viewing BSD through the lens of ever since I first learned about Beast: like a visual novel with many branching routes, and only a few routes that feel entirely "right".

When I first read Dazai's Entrance Exam, I was struck by how unnerving the ending sequence in the abandoned hospital felt. Obviously, Kunikida's internal struggle over Sasaki's actions and motives is him still desperately clinging to his ideal world that does not exist, but the specific type of phrases he uses — "who is wrong?" "[who is] the cause of all this?" "there has to be an ideal world" "there has to be something, I'm sure of it" "There must have been something we could have done!" — and the framing of the scene in general, is eerily reminiscent of a bad ending in a visual novel, to me. There's a haunting, looming, bleak sense that a different outcome could have been achieved, if different decisions had been made, or if things outside of anyone's control had been different... and we know that this is true, because in Beast alone, Kunikida never goes through the Azure Messenger incident, because Dazai doesn't have his entrance exam. Hell, you could even consider the anime's version of the Azure Messenger arc an alternate timeline in of itself, if you really wanted to, long before we even arrive at season 5.

When it comes to Beast, this timeline has almost the opposite feeling of what I described above, that I've also encountered in visual novels: the idea of a "good route" or "good ending" that still doesn't feel quite earned, or as perfect as one would expect. Beast is presented as the "ideal" timeline purely for one sole reason: Oda is alive. It is the only timeline where he's alive, and keeping Oda alive is the ultimate goal Dazai wants to achieve, the only reason this timeline exists; therefore, disregarding all else, Beast should be the best timeline, because Oda's death is the greatest devastation in the series to date. We all want him to live, so why wouldn't the timeline where he does be the best one? And yet... of course, it isn't. Dazai is alone, and steeped in darkness and loneliness without Oda, and dies by the end of the story for Oda's continued living. Atsushi has Kyouka still, but he's suffering and more traumatized, and unable to heal while stuck in the mafia, and neither can Kyouka. Akutagawa is living a much better life in the ADA... but without his sister, and without what he has from his bond with Atsushi in canon, that isn't replicated in Beast. And Oda... Oda is alive, and he has his children and his novel, but there is a feeling that he is aimless, that something in his life is missing. He has everything he ever wanted, but all that means nothing without what he truly needs: Dazai, and his time with Dazai and Ango at the bar. In this way, things going well and us getting what we want — in this case, Oda living — goes against how it's supposed to be, the natural order, which is why it feels so hollow. In the specific visual novel I'm thinking of here as a comparison (again, shoutout if you know), there's an alternate ending that involves you inputting information you gain at the end of the game very early on in the game, wherein the protagonist now has memories of the future and is able to bypass and prevent all of the events that take place normally. This means that people who die or are hurt somehow in general are saved from that fate, and nothing bad ever occurs; everything wraps up neatly and nicely... but again, there's an undeniable, unsettling feeling of emptiness, of a victory that rings hollow, because what's the point if everything is simply handed to you easily, where's the sense of accomplishment, without any struggles to achieve said victories, or any growth along the way? How can it feel earned if one doesn't have to, in Dazai's words, "scream within the storm of uncertainty, and run with flowing blood"?

You can probably already see where I'm going with this.

This finale feels weird. Really, really weird. It feels too cheap, too simple, too unsatisfying. So much so, in fact, that for almost the entire runtime, as I was bombarded with resolution upon resolution one after another, I kept thinking "There's no way this can be real. Where's the catch? When is the "gotcha!" moment gonna happen? The "it was all a dream" reveal?". And this isn't just because I hated the writing, and that it really did feel like a fever dream watching fanfic levels of bad (actually, that's an insult to fanfic writers, tbh; they could do better) — no, it genuinely feels so incredibly fake. Even upon rewatching it and already knowing what happens, my brain still naturally keeps expecting some kinda of "sike, you THOUGHT!" moment to suddenly appear. It just.... feels "too good to be true". Dazai and Chuuya come out unscathed, and it's revealed that they were never in any real danger to begin with. Fyodor, one of our biggest threats, is dealt with supposedly for good (I say "supposedly" only because of the Jesus line, but if anything imo, I think that's just a hint that this won't be the canon ending in the manga, so in a sense he's going to "come back to life"), and Nikolai seems somewhat at peace with his death. The other biggest threat, Fukuchi, is also dealt with, and he and Fukuzawa get their final moment together of closure. Yes, Sigma is left in Meursault don't even get me started on how angry this alone makes me, and Fukuzawa loses Fukuchi, but overall, everything is portrayed in a positive light, and any negatives or losses are quickly glossed over. Everything is tied up nicely, neatly, and smoothly. ...And that is exactly what makes it feel so wrong, and hard to trust in.

I'm not sure if this will make sense, but to me, the finale is so incredibly poorly written that it almost feels.... intentional. It's so bad to the point of feeling self-aware in how bad it is, how unrealistically happy and convenient an ending it is. It had to end this neatly in order to rush to wrap up this arc for the season finale and not leave the last episode on a cliffhanger — which imo is chiefly the main reason it turned out this way, and, if this whole theory is true, Asagiri just used it to his advantage — and I'm not saying this was probably an effect Bones had in mind intentionally, I'm sure they just threw shit at the wall and went with whatever stuck, maaaaybe with some suggestions/approval from Asagiri, but the result is that you have a conclusion that contradicts so much of what was set up before and goes against so many character arcs, making some characters so out of character and even regressing in their development Dazai. I'm talking about Dazai abandoning Sigma, because he would never; hashtag #NOTMYDAZAI. Also Nikolai, Nikolai for most of that is so ooc I can't even begin to describe it oh my god. Everyone is OOC to a degree though lmao, and opens so many plot holes, to the point that it's impossible not to watch all that and get the feeling that it is subtly saying to you "did you really think it could be this easy? It feels wrong, doesn't it? It doesn't feel satisfying. It feels unearned." I find it incredibly interesting and suspicious in particular that they confirmed multiple theories people had about soukoku in Meursault: that Chuuya slowed the elevator's fall so that Dazai wouldn't die from it, that Chuuya slowed down the bullet so that it only penetrated Dazai's skin and not his skull, and that the both of them used Fyodor's camera angle to their advantage because they knew he wouldn't be able to see certain things from his view. I'm not saying that Asagiri trawled BSD twitter and tumblr after those chapters dropped for the most popular theories before the final episode was made lmao, there was no time for that (imagine though lol—), but I do think it's highly likely that he already had in mind exactly what theories would be made about these parts (I mean, the evidence for the gun scene was all there), and that Dazai rattling them off in his long monologue to Fyodor at the end is essentially him speaking to the audience and going "yeah, that's what you would predict, right? Those are the clichés, after all", much like him suggesting earlier that he can maybe bring Chuuya back to himself with a few moving words and the power of friendship, and Fyodor using the split personalities trope to fool Sigma. We expect these tropes to be true. Of course we'd fall for them, as Fyodor tells Sigma, especially if the evidence is right there. But Asagiri himself has explicitly said that he likes doing the opposite of what people expect. And so just because people predicted correctly with the three things I mentioned in this timeline... doesn't mean they'll be true in the manga's. Things happened how we wanted and expected it to, and everything turned out happily. So we can relax now, right? Everything will work out just as easily in the manga, right? Or... is the reason most of this finale feels so fake and unsettling and unsatisfying because it's meant to lull us into a false sense of security before all our heroes lose in the manga? Because deep down, we don't want an ending that's this simple, because we'd rather have a conclusion where our characters have struggled more and grown more and come out the better for it, and we know it?

After rewatching the episode a lot, and watching some other videos, and doing a lot of thinking, I am pretty confident in suspecting that the only part of this finale that is actually from manga canon, aside from Aya jumping off the building of course, is Fyodor and Nikolai's exchange after Fyodor leaves Meursault — specifically, them talking about Fyodor leaving Sigma behind, and their "new game" and Nikolai being excited at the prospect of it. This little conversation actually feels in character for them, and it's easy to tell this when contrasting it with everything that happens immediately after, wherein Fyodor is fatally stabbed, and Nikolai, completely at odds with what he was just talking about, just... stands there and watches Fyodor die while Dazai monologues lmao. I'm not sure if the helicopter is still a factor, but I would bet good money on Fyolai getting out of Meursault being manga canon, and that Dazai and Chuuya getting out as well and killing Fyodor + everything with FukuFuku, is part of the anime original ending, in order to wrap up everything positively. It makes much more sense if you think about, in reality (aka in the manga), Dazai and Chuuya still being left behind in Meursault (where they can eventually try to get Sigma), because none of it was an act and things did not go according to plan, and Fukuchi having an entirely different goal that doesn't feel so stupid and contradictory to his character, and Fukuzawa possibly dying — everyone seemingly loses, with Aya still being the last hope, perhaps by awakening her ability like we all speculated.

There's a youtuber I watch who covers BSD in-depth, despite being an anime-only (she reads the respective manga content after each season, though). Going into this finale, she knew about the fact that the anime had overtaken the manga, though she didn't know where the cutoff point was; despite that, however, she made predictions about what was from the manga so far and what was anime original, and it was almost entirely spot-on, based mostly on what she basically described as "anime original dialogue." She talked about how you can always tell when dialogue is veering into the realm of anime-original, because the sentences are very short, choppy, and slightly out of character, but generic enough to not be TOO out of character, and so that anyone can easily write said lines, even if they're not extremely familiar with the character like the original author would be. And when I heard this explanation, everything clicked — because so much of this finale has dialogue like that. The Fyolai scenes just feel peppered with it, around the lines I mentioned earlier, the Dazai dialogue does too, and ESPECIALLY shit at the end like Fukuchi and Fukuzawa exchanging the cliche death lines to end all death lines: "Are you there? I'm a little tired." "Rest up." That just isn't Bungou Stray Dogs. That isn't Asagiri. BSD is cheesy at times, yes, but it isn't like this; it's smarter. The dialogue is smarter, the explanations/plot twists are smarter, Asagiri is smarter, and the aforementioned youtuber I watched agreed. She's a pretty casual fan of the series, so if even she could pick up on these things, I think it speaks volumes.

I mentioned this briefly earlier, but this theory makes sense if you consider that this situation probably came about because of Bones wanting two seasons back-to-back when they did, and this arc being as long as it is. Season 3 aired in 2019, and I imagine Bones would have wanted season 4 in 2020, and might have then been willing to wait a bit longer for season 5 in order for more of this arc's manga chapters to come out — but then covid happened. Because of that, season 4 was delayed to 2023, creating the longest gap we've had between seasons, and I wouldn't at all be surprised if the delay made them want season 5 right together with it, after getting so far "behind", so to speak. S4 was announced in November of 2021, and roughly around that time, Asagiri was finishing up writing the plot of the DoA arc. If Bones came to him sometime in late 2021 and said they wanted two seasons now (so basically, one giant two cour season), Asagiri would know that not only of course would this arc not be finished publishing in the manga for a very long time yet, but that roughly 20ish episodes would not be enough to cover it all to the end, with this arc being longer than any arc the anime has adapted to date. Because of all this, and the arc manga chapters being nowhere near fully drawn to completion, he'd have to make a decision about what to do, and what to give Bones. Without ending season 5 on a massive cliffhanger that wouldn't be resolved for years until an eventual season 6, the only other option would be to rush towards an anime-original ending for the DoA arc.... and for Asagiri to take advantage of that, and integrate it into BSD's lore. Thereby creating a truly unique cross-media experience that utilizes the different mediums to create multiple timelines, that could make both the anime and manga interact with each other and become part of a bigger picture (not that you'd need to see both to get the full experience, mind you, just that it'd provide a little bonus if you did).... and would without a doubt be Asagiri's biggest surprise yet.

...I feel like at this point I'm starting to ramble, and my evidence become more and more incoherent and less substantial lmao, so I should probably end this post. 💀 Thank you if you've read this far, and hopefully it made some semblance of sense, despite not being structured very well; I know I promised at the start to try to be as objective as possible and curb my negative feelings, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded in that regard. If it weren't for the Fukuchi thing and the Fyodor hand thing, I probably wouldn't take how wrong and strange and bad the finale feels to me as serious evidence about it being an alternate timeline, especially since I seem to be one of the only people who actually hates all of it.... but combined with everything else, I am just so convinced of this theory being true. It started off as pure copium, but as more time has gone on, I fully, 100% believe in my bones (ha) that there is no way that finale is the same Bungou Stray Dogs I know and love, for so many reasons. It just isn't. It can't be. I know BSD better than this, I know Asagiri better than this, and I know that it's absolutely in the realm of possibility for him to cook up this whole scheme to completely blindside us with in the upcoming chapters, because that's exactly the kind of shit Mr. "Please Be Surprised!" himself would pull. If I end up being completely wrong, I guess I'm wrong, and you can laugh at me all you want then.... but I just know that ages ago people were teasing the idea of the anime operating on a different timeline from the manga, and I truly do think that only now are we finally seeing that idea come to fruition, as a setup for Asagiri going full-bore insanity with the Book in the upcoming arc(s). if I and the OP of that theory end up right, this will be the wildest time in the BSD fandom's history.

Like. I cannot even emphasize how hard they are trolling us at this point. Something is going on. Something is being cooked over there, the likes of which we've never seen before... and I don't think any of us are ready for it.

Oh yeah, and one last thing of note: both Fyodor and Nikolai here have their right arms hidden from view. Is that alluding to anything? I'm not sure. I also think that since chapter 110 was so short, next chapter will likely be 110.5 instead of 111, and if that's the case, this title spread could still technically be associated with the next chapter... wherein we might see this Fukuchi, who ends up wreaking havoc, right before he jumps to the timeline in the anime, as we see him at the end of the s5 finale.

I guess we'll find out on Tuesday.

#bungou stray dogs #meta #bsd season 5 #bsd s5 spoilers #alternatively titled 'when you copium so hard out of stewing in your denial anger and grief that it becomes reality'#is it still copium if there's strong evidence for it? idk #i DON'T know what i'll do if the stuff in this finale ends up being canon :))) make no mistake about that #but until the very moment the schrödinger's cat box is opened and i am forced to acknowledge it with my own two eyes in chapter 111/110.5 #i am choosing to stay calm and rational and look at things with a sound mind... and acknowledge all the signs that are there #of which there are so many #Asagiri is a troll. he has always been a troll and this is more evident than ever lately #and he would know that everyone who watched the finale would take it at face value #never expecting it to go completely differently in the manga #and he's so much smarter than what was in that finale. he would never write those things. i would stake my life on it.#i don't care how many flaws BSD does have that i do acknowledge; he is a good writer in so many ways and he is so much better than /that/#i could fill an entire BOOK (ha ha) with all of the reasons why this finale does not work. seriously it is a never-ending can of worms #of ooc characterizations and plot holes and abandoned threads and straight up CONTRADICTIONS with what has been stated before in the arc #with fukuchi's motivations and presentation; with things that were happening in meursault; just.... so much illogical shit in general #THE MACHINE HEALED THEIR WOUNDS??? ARE YOU FOR REAL????#*sigh* but i said i wasn't gonna rant alskdjgfkdls #tbh though the only REAL thing i need to know that the finale was anime only was what the youtuber i watch pointed out:#that Bram magically regenerated all his clothes. because if it were Asagiri Bram would be naked from the shoulders down fjdkslsaskd #...anyway. This theory is real and true. I am manifesting it into existence 🙏🙏🙏#Asagiri my man...... you have never let me down yet in all the years I've known your series. Please don't let me down now.#I'm trusting in you more than ever right now...... and your ability to blow all our minds in the best possible way #(guys i'm really really really scared deep down; please hold me hahaha ahahahahaaaa- *cries*)#this would the coolest thing in the history of ever though if it happened though. I am SO EXCITED FOR THE POSSIBILITY!!!!!#ASAGIRI YOU SICK AND TWISTED MF; HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME BEG FOR MY FAVES TO SUFFER JUST SO THAT THIS BAD WRITING DOESN'T BECOME REALITY!!!!!!#he knows exactly what he's doing *SCREAMS* :))))))))

75 notes · View notes