LIKE?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I just let out a guttural bark at these pictures. I’ve never been so feral in my entire life. The vice grip chokehold Katie has on my soul.
I was already a thirsty Bisexual…Now? I’m one parched hoe who needs to rehydrate and fan themselves.
I genuinely think john watson (enola holmes) was created in the lab for me cause he has 43 seconds of screentime but a connection to so many past incarnations whose traits i can pick and choose from so i can build my own perfect little guy!
Okay so todays was a weird outward trigger experience. Got called into the bosses office about some msc thing and he commented on my suspenders and I said that I’m wearing them because I don’t have a belt that fits, I’ve lost so much weight recently. He asked why I’ve lost so much and I said well my bodies been changing for over a year now and with the stress of the past few months it’s been a struggle to eat regularly. And he started joking and said it’s not because of coke right??? Which I laughed and said no that’s not my thing. Then he was like wait what’s the one where people loose weight??? To what I kinda just said well there’s many that could be but do you mean amphetamines? To where he literally snapped his fingers and jokes that your not on amphetamines are you, laughing with a smile? To which I just gently assured no I’m not. However I didn’t say The last time I was at this weight I did have that needle in my arm though.
While it’s not fair for me to expect him to know about the specifics of my history and the literal service work I have done to grow from those traumas was on the literal resume he hired me for. Plus after three years about being open in my workplace about my history i kinda have certain expectations? Regardless it’s amazing how fleeting jokes to one man that will never think of it again who’s a bad faith actor in the system that has allowed for our oppression thinks he has a right to comment on my fucking body. Regardless of the unmindful speech of other the fact remains I have lost a lot of weight comparable to when I was on meth. My body has changed and processed in ways I honestly thought only possible on meth. And that scares me. But that doesn’t change the fact that some ducking guy can influence how I allow myself to view that relationship inwards. Uzumaki and all. My beauty and and grace isn’t determined on my relationship with gravity but for the gifts I give and the color of my spark. And that’s something worth celebrating.