#things that make me a little bit crazy

[anbaricity]

The Lies of Locke Lamora, Scott Lynch

#things that make me a little bit crazy #reading log #gentleman bastards #the lies of locke lamora #locke lamora #jean tannen #q

[ch1zzie]

The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

#thats not my neighbor #milk man #just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates #monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school #(online school) #my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT #also little welcome home update #im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me #also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭) #the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit #only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭 #also! im making easter art #yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!! #why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing #it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful! #im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to #high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not) #maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me... #also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh #ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me #imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope) #even if its little dumb posts #by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES” #just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded #hehe didded

[anewp0tat0]

I tried but not very hard to see what the anniversary date was, and i decided to just prepare myself for the 16th or the 18th... it was the former. so, as always, but this time truly by accident... happy belated 17th birthday Black Butler!! I truly hope this year is amazing for us.

this year, I decided to use an idea I had wanted to try for a while but I never thought I would be able to pull off. and I still probably couldn't in the best way.... but regardless, here is a made up last chapter scenario.

you can also see this comic on webtoon here. whatever your fancy, if you please :>

#I don't know if this thing makes any sense or if it means anything at all. or if it looks like anything actually carefully put together #but hey it was nice! so I hope it brings a little bit of pleasant feelings... or terrible ones idk #i was going a page a day fully intending to finish by the 13th the latest but yeaaa things came up. but whatever this is the last day that #I'm in america until some months later so it's still a special day for me! so it still counts. and also do specifics really matter so much #at this point #sadly while I wasn't rushed this time I did intend to use the remaining days i had to revise the visuals framing and diologue. so I'm not #100% confident. but c'est la vie #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji fanart #fanart #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #digital art #and... I would be absolutely lying if I didn't try to put just a little bit of dadbastian undertones in there. it's what I do #but I think it's up for interpration. after I decided that I was gonna draw in my own style instead of trying to replicate yana's(as fun as #that would be) i decided to go crazy

[welcometogrouchland]

I love Steph's origin as told in the Secret Origins 80 page giant- I just overall think it strengthens her character by giving her a lot of pathos and adding to her heroism (which isn't something writers were focused on in her actual intro in detective comics #647 since she was just meant to act as a plot device back then) BUT there is one tiny detail in it i will begrudge, and that is the portrayal of her having a minor love at first sight moment for tim

Secret origins 80 page giant, ID in alt

(or well, technically this was their second meeting in that story (the brick was the first) so...love at second sight?)

Mostly because Stephanie showed no interest in her introduction and only showed romantic feelings towards Tim AFTER this moment here:

Robin (1993) #4, ID in alt

Straight up the progression here goes:

The adventure in 'tec where they first meet -> Tim investigating the same crime scene as Steph -> she beats him up not knowing it's him at first, apologizes but says he shouldn't have scared her -> he remembers her/the moniker she goes by -> they talk about plot for a few pages -> Stephanie starts flirting

Robin (1993) #4, ID in alt

Which...is so fascinating to me and says so much about Stephanie. She highlights the fact that Tim "remembered" her. Like. Steph. Girl. This is our bar? It's sweet but kind of speaks to how much Stephanie is ignored at home/how little and sporadically she's shown interacting with her peers (and rarely ever the same kids twice). Her idea of peak romance is just...being on someone's mind even when you're not there.

Kind of also adds layers to Steph's proclivity towards jealousy later on, a manifestation of her insecurity and loneliness (though don't get it twisted, she's not written this way bc Dixon and co think it's an interesting character flaw, they wrote it bc they think it's an inherent character flaw of (particularly young) women/girls, which is very apparent in how he approaches Ariana's character as well from what I've read)

Also the fact that Steph becomes so smitten for Tim almost immediately after this is (a few issues later she aggressively flirts with him during AN ACTIVE HOSTAGE SITUATION. WHERE SHE'S THE HOSTAGE) again is kind of a mixture of kind of funny and sad. One boy is nice to her once and she's fully ready to wife him. Girl you are deranged (affectionate) (concerned)

#ramblings of a lunatic #dc comics #stephanie brown #tim drake #timsteph #meta #< ??? ig #robin 1993 #made this post and forgot to finish. saved it in drafts. saw posts that annoyed me. proceeded to finish it #the subset of fans who think they're doing a righteous feminism by giving steph more flaws than she has in canon...headaches #yes flawed female characters are important representation no i dont think you projecting chuck dixons conservative values onto her- #-is doing her character a great favour. if so you need to commit to the bit and make tim a stone cold nark /j #sorry okay im done vaguing. there's real things going on in the world that matter. the bad take is the mind killer etc etc #anyway the zero to 100 progression of early timsteph is fascinating. on the one hand i know it's mostly a product of its time #both in terms of portrayals of romance (esp teen romance) and partially of women and girls by dixon (not extremely boy obsessed- #-but there's a. dark shadow of the boy crazy trope. a gentle whiff of it in the air. just a little) #but bc this aspect isn't blatantly/egregiously author bias i choose to analyse it #i could also analyse how steph in general is portrayed as liking guys she can't/shouldn't have a little #(her crush on the much older detective in bg2009 and also tim a little bit w/ the secret identity thing) #(but that's a whole other discussion. also that aspect of the romance in bg2009 is. also a little sexistly motivated- #-and also dropped part way through to an extent so like..not exactly ripe for analysis) #ANYWHO i love you Steph <3 you're unwell and yet so adorable and compelling Steph <3

[starrysharks]

freaks!

#zeno's art #wip #reassassination #octavia #dr savory #not redesigns nothing has changed (except savory's face a little bit) just making them more interesting looking ref sheets #trying to make things more cartoony and angular. like jthm mixed with psg thats my goal actually #speaking of jthm its so freaking cool... makes me want to just go crazy with reassass and have them all be super insane looking #but i dont want to style change again so we stay normal ish #can you guys ask about them theyre so fun to think about and rotate in my head #also have been chipping at ch1's final draft #its annoying because every chapter after like. 7ish is gonna be super fun to write cuz thats after vivica joins the fray #right now its just main trio escapades to introduce the world

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Bahrain Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Max Verstappen, Checo Perez & Lance Stroll)(my personal post-race highlights)

#GUYS YOU KNOW I JUST THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT SONG FOR THIS OCCASION #'Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic' - The Police(like magic alonso you get it you get it??) #pls go listen to it bcs its what I listened to while making this post bcs it rly reminds me of nando hehehe #i def cried a bit while watching this i was just so happy for everything both he and the team have achieved #and not to harp on abt 2005 but ig its crazy for me to have been spending a lot of time watching his wdc season #and then start the new season and see him up in p3!! its just so cool and it makes me a bit emo but in a good way ofc! #also sry if this is a little late! i was changing up w how i wanted to go abt doing this and it took longer than i wouldve liked #i think the most interesting thing abt doing this was just how different the post-race proceedings are compared to 2005 #fernando alonso #2023 bahrain grand prix #we do a little bit of f1 #fa14 #checo perez #max verstappen #(2023: 1/23 races watched) #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #2023 bahrain gp #lance stroll

[useramor]

>:/

#okay hello having a bit of a dilemma here advice would be welcome and appreciated #i don't want taylor swift on my dash #i don't like her for many valid reasons but above everything else #she irritates me deeply #unfortunately so many mutuals that i'm close with and love are big swifties #and i don't want to unfollow them and break the mutual and no longer see the content they post that i DO like #but also like. i hate when taylor does something and then my whole dash is just. filtered post after filtered post. #because everyone is talking about it #it ruins my fun on here a little bit #and most of my mutuals who are big swifties tag the posts but sometimes it's a silly text post #so they'll just reblog #and i can't even blame them because i do the same thing i don't tag every single post i make #but goddddddd it's driving me crazy #idk what to do about it #like these are my FRIENDS i don't want to unfollow my friends :( especially because i don't text everyone outside of tumblr #so i'd lose contact with a lot of people and that would suck :/ #ugh idk man #anyway #be quiet bia

[nerosdayinanime]

sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise

#fratboy sabito posting #sabito #kny sabito #idk #was suddenly hit w the realization that i think him being a countryboy/redneck kinda crazy is *hot* #[head in hands knees on the floor folded in despair] #i know im southern but this wasnt supposed to happen. it wasnt supposed to be this way. what the fuck man. #sabito & giyuu keep makin me Into shit!! what the fuck!! #i wanna draw him doing wheelies and flips off dirt ramps. doughnuts. taking off his helmet n having dumb lil marks from it. #trying and failing to convince giyuu to drive a dirtbike & instead him getting on a 4wheeler #sab & makomo bullying him for being scared of dirtbikes but not the literal Twice As Big 4wheeler #idk. sabito just seems like a biker in general to me. dirtbikes just got the most 'will do bat shit insane stuff for funsies' vibe to em #all of them are a bit crazy but dirtbikes are Scary crazy. bmx bike tricks but it has a fucking MOTOR why are you doing 20ft leaps and flip #off cliffs what the fuck. #i can see sabito being a little deranged when he gets excited. normal when hes chill but as soon as he sees somethn fun all #sense goes out the window. he needs to be child harnessed to keep him from throwing himself off a wall like 'i could totally make that jump #on one hand giyuu gets life experiences and exposure to making new friends- on the other he has to stop sabito from being #the equivalent of a human lemming trying to throw itself into the hands of death at every waking moment #sabito in turn keeps giyuu from being too boring or being a scardy cat abt things. he also learns the art of 'quiet time' and 'how to Chill #honorable mention of my vague raspy voice sabito hc #kinda slight but v obvious when he raises his voice or yells #i think the sabito brainrot is actually overtaking the giyuu brainrot now. oh no #hes fictional²!! none of this shit [motions to my blog] is canon to him #thasa whole 'nother bitch!! i declare this brainrot Unfounded #wont stop me tho. 'm havin fun

[sapphorror]

Okay but my favorite GIR moments are ALWAYS the ones that imply he's just aware enough of what's going on to know that the thing he's doing will fuck up Zim's day, and he still does it anyway, possibly specifically for that purpose.

#invader zim #gir #iz posting #natterings #most times its not even malicious #or not like SPECIFICALLY malicious beyond gir being a gremlin who enjoys chaos in general #i think a lot of the time he just wants to secure zims attention and making him mad is the easiest way to do it #(+ i mean zim kind of models this strategy all the time so can he really be surprised girs learned it—) #or sometimes the terrible thing will eventually end up leading into accomplishing something useful #and its easy to say this is just fools luck and totally inadvertent on girs part #but there are rare moments that suggest he mightve a little bit done the thing on purpose and im obsessed with that #that one comics issue where he impersonates dib torments zim for days on end and then wheedles zim into praising him for it #lives rent free in my mind #BUT ANYWAY I ALSO THINK THAT MAYBE SOMETIMES IT COULD BE A LITTLE MALICIOUS #given that gir in his natural state isnt really CAPABLE of resentment or anger or even dislike #and the one time he was able to feel those things he turned on zim in less than 24 hrs #in a way that was clearly very personally motivated (note to self write meta about gir goes crazy and stuff i have so much shit to say) #which suggests to me those emotions probably are there festering on some inaccessible level and yknow #imo a little healthy sadism is a GREAT outlet for that #zim absolutely deserves it

[lilacbutbackwards]

I know some people were caught off guard by Q!Cellbit's big reveal, but just a friendly reminder that he's not the only genius among the Brazilians, those guys ar ALL incredibly smart, it just doesn't seem like it because they're also huge dumbasses (affectionate).

QSMP spoilers below (tho they're more my reading of events than 100% facts and I'm really biased)

Forever knows Cellbit's whole federation loving bullshit is a con, he knew from day one, he can't prove it, but he mentioned it as a likely possibility multiple times, he's not mad at Cellbit for joining the federation, he's mad at Cellbit because he's being a jerk about it and threatening to change Richarlyson's custody agreement, he knows it's a con, but he's smart enough to be prepared for the off chance it isn't, and even when the truth gets revealed it doesn't mean all the hurtful things Cellbit said will be forgiven.

I'll be honest I don't watch Tazercraft that often, but on the first five minutes I tapped into their streams I heard Mike saying that this all must be a plan, them and Cellbit go way back, and while part of it might be wishful thinking they know this is not Cellbit the conspiracy maniac who was completely against the federation, they know there must be something else there, they considered the possibility of him going crazy, but they're also considering the idea of it all being planned.

Cellbit thinks he fooled everyone, but his friends saw through him almost immediately, they're pissed at him not because of the betrayal, but because he's being a jerk, they don't trust him enough to be certain of the whole infiltration plan, they're definitely wary of him, but it's less because they think he's a threat and more because they're afraid that whatever plan he has might backfire badly and he decided to bet on too high stakes in line without letting anyone else in.

#qsmp #qsmp spoilers #Anyways this is not a 100% serious analysis it's just me rambling about my little dumbasses #because I'm a bit tired of seeing my boys being treated as if they're 100% unaware of things happening around them #Like Forever is a genius of networking he gets people he's Smart and resourceful #he's as crazy as Cellbit but he knows that allies are a strength not a weakness #and Tazer and Craft (calling Pac and Mike that is the most genius thing) are literal scientists boys are smart #and they're not as unaware as people make them to be they're a bit aloof but they know what's going on #Also why are people acting as if they don't know about the custody fight? #Forever told basically Everyone and they were the first ones to know about it #Was it retconned or do people just not watch Forever and Tazer? #Also I don't talk about Felps on this but my boy is still the ghost haunting the narrative #his absence speaks for itself it's the hole that makes everything start to fall apart if he was there none of this would happen

[insulationsun]

If you don't mind me rambling for a little bit the snowgrave heal deal makes me SO INSANE!!! because healing isn't the most common in monsters, like I can only think of a few ones in undertale and deltarune that actually do it. so the fact that Spamton cannot only heal you, but the fact that he can heal your full health (granted, as neo) is insane. Assuming that magic in deltarune is the same as in undertale, then monster magic gets stronger with emotions, meaning he must care about Kris a lot, even when theyre ruining his plans for domination. He likes that kid so much.

OMGGG, YEA it's like so interesting to me because of how much it just, never comes up. i know the ambulance guys have the thingys that can heal you depending on how you do their attack..trying to think of other examples i know there's a few. but its definitely not common, yeah!!

and in terms of his character, and his attacks...its just like. why is this here? it like kinda seems like it wouldnt fit...but i like how he has healing despite that anyways idk. its neat. spam can help out his friends... (starts crying)

but-- i never thought of that! if the magic works the same, i mean. that it's kind of more about the intent? which T_T in that case....oguh2ug2321. MY GOD. you are so correct. i really do like that despite everything thats going on, even with the bitter feelings from snowgrave that on some level he like, still believes in kris.

#asks #So crazy... #a little bit of my hc leaked in there about how in snowgrave spam doesnt really #seem as aware of the player's influence on kris than he does in pacifist #but on some level there is still a degree of care in there #even when the situation has become so twisted- and that he's done such awful things #its crazy it makes me insane snowgrave is insane ill lose my brain right here

[petruchio]

i joke that i should get an honorary degree for my hunger games analysis on tumblr but it’s low key hilarious that i was just like casually getting a masters degree in literature in real life and also basically doing a second one online with my tumblr mutuals. like the way i was just like on here writing fully cited essays and having text based discussions about these novels with the same level of intensity and dedication (perhaps more) that i was giving to my actual real life degree

#i feel like this makes it sound like im embarassed but it’s actually so cool #and if im being honest i think all the literary analysis we did together really helped me in my degrees #but like yeah that is … a thing that i did #like i was getting 2 degrees simultaneously and writing a 60+ page thesis about shakespeare #and on top of that … i was basically attending hunger games discussion seminars online #and regularly writing essays about it. FOR FUN #girls when theyre a little bit crazy. and a little bit insane. 🤡 #caroline speaks

[bumblingbabooshka]

Workforce B7 Au

B'Elanna and Seven start living together out of concern for B'Elanna living by herself so far along in her pregnancy (B'Elanna initially takes this as an insult, that Seven doesn't think she's a good mother because Seven does not phrase her concerns well but she is genuinely concerned about B'Elanna and her child.) They both mutually agree that if they find a romantic partner they'll just live separately again but as the months wear on they realize they've become more and more attatched to each other, their feelings taking a romantic turn which frightens them both. B'Elanna still goes to that diner place Tom works at and considers them friends. He eventually asks her out and B'Elanna, thinking that she's probably being a burden to Seven and confused by her feelings towards the other woman, accepts though she doesn't have romantic feelings for Tom. Seven is upset by this though she knows she shouldn't be so she tries not to express it but eventually they have an argument which ends in them both admitting that they like each other romantically. They hesitantly kiss, hold hands, ask if they want to really commit to this...yes. The answer is yes. Then strange men in a ship tell them they're members of an organization called Starfleet or whatever?? Then they're taken to sickbay and their old memories return. This leads to both of them having private freak outs about the fact that they felt so strongly attracted to each other and so...happy, with one another when all of the more complicating aspects of their relationship weren't an issue. This is a double edged sword for B'Elanna specifically because without all the history between them she truly didn't feel any attraction towards Tom and if she's being honest with herself - when was the last time she did...? Dun dun dun! You know this episode ends with B'Elanna staring out a window or something, wondering about what she should do...what it all means....

#B'Elanna #Seven of Nine #B7 #B'Elanna Torres #Seven of Nine: (trying to be helpful) -something condescending- #B'Elanna: ?????? #<- It's that on loop for awhile until they learn to communicate better and Seven actually DOES try to understand B'Elanna #She doesn't know about being borg so she just thinks she has a lot of trouble with talking to people and B'Elanna's like 'hey it's not like #I'm a whiz at it' (That's very clear to me.) Hey! Oh - you're joking? (...Half joking.) Well it wasn't half bad then~ #<- the start of their good times era where they become much closer #B'Elanna post this memory regain able to remember how nice it was to be with Seven which directly contrasts her relationship with Tom which #mainly makes her anxious and self conscious...remembering the long talks with Seven whenthey were supposed to be sleeping...remembering #Seven coming home with like ten different baby things because she read that they were the best on the market #B'Elanna 'joking' that she's just being crazy...typical her! when she's upset and Seven telling her that she isn't crazy - she #trusts that there's a REASON B'Elanna. Tell her what it is. (pause) please tell her what it is. #a month later B'Elanna 'jokes' that she's just being crazy...typical her! to Tom and Tom smiles and says he kinda signed up for crazy when #they got married didn't he? <- B'Elanna's heart breaks a little bit but she smiles thinly and laughs without vigor #st voyager #st voyager art #bea art tag

[junk-culture]

normal and cool things to say . specifically normal and cool things to say just moments after said prince has forced you to give him your mistress which drives her to suicide which makes him come crawling back to you complaining about said suicide and also complaining about how you hate him now and also demanding to sleep in your bed with you beside him because he feels so lonely and scared and wretched.

#yes i watched becket the film and became crazy yes i then bought the play yes i underlined a lot of things and yes i may even annotate it..! #to be honest evil men yaoi aside its making me want to forage into medieval history in general a little bit ... #becket #becket 1964 #there are some differences between the play and the film which made me go ! ill make more posts when im not tired #also hi to the miniscule number of people checking the becket tags. 👋👋👋

[maddy-ferguson]

Is it just me or do some Bylers reach way too hard to defend Mike for things he was objectively wrong for? Like the rink o mania thing is a perfect example, Will was not being bitchy (onscreen) at all to Mike until the argument where Mike was the one who started it by blaming Will for not telling him about El’s problems. Mike was being a huge asshole there, which even he noticed and said Will didn’t deserve the way Mike treated him. He then apologized and Will accepted it because Will knows that Mike was genuinely remorseful and that he wanted to be best friends again. I hate to say this bc 99% of the time it is deeper than it looks but for this I just don’t get how you can watch and think Will was actually in the wrong.

i do enjoy a good reach and i get not wanting one character to be 100% in the right and one character to be 100% in the wrong in an argument and i don't even think mike was 100% in the wrong at rink o mania but when you back up a bit...what did will do wrong exactly lol.

do we agree with mike that he was a douche for...not telling him that el was being bullied? nonsensical. he didn't even know she was lying to him before the airport.

was he wrong for barely talking and basically sabotaging the whole day? a day el said was supposed to be about the two of them, making will third wheel and feel like shit just like in the beginning of season 3 and for months before that? right...because that makes sense.

was will in the wrong for not calling mike and for making it sound like it was his fault they didn't keep in touch? this one i can get behind but he would have let that go (the painting being a welcome gift doesn't scream resentful) had mike not made it clear that he wasn't interested in anything he had to say by...rejecting his hug, agreeing to the whole day being about him and el, ignoring him save for the vomit green joke, And not calling for months. if the first three hadn't occurred maybe will wouldn't have felt the need to defend himself when mike started a fight because he didn't tell him his gf was being bullied like he's their couples counselor or something

it's like you said mike literally starts the fight and then deflects (twice) and Then he apologizes...idk!

long-winded answer but how exactly was will being a dick lol. i know he apologizes for being mean to him and for pushing him away in the van scene but when exactly on march 22, 1986 was will mean to mike. i can see the pushing him away because he didn't call but he said he deserved the fight and admitted to being a jerk to el (literally HOW. when) and wouldn't let lucas apologize to him in season 3 so i'm not taking his self-deprecating martyr word for it SORRY

it's especially funny when you remember that mike trying to call will is a THEORY

#i know mike is self-deprecating too. this isn't about him💖 #i know even byler being endgame is a theory but #and i GET IT like even if it turns out mike DIDN'T call he's not the devil or anything and i knoww why he acts like he does but when you #look at it from will's pov his behavior makes no fucking sense if he cares about him even a little. like why would he reject that hug lol #you could say him rejecting the hug was because he felt like they weren't friends anymore because will didn't call him and like sure but #then how is will not allowed to feel like they're not friends when mike doesn't call AND rejects his hug AND makes him third wheel all day #you can even say it was because he was like oh will gay can't make it obvious that i'm in love with him but that's just beyond the #realm of possibility to will. do you know what i mean? of course he's gonna think he doesn't care about him and doesn't even wanna hug him #hello after six months of not seeing him because he in fact didn't want to hug him. rejected the hug and made will feel like he was the #only one who wanted to be friends just like before #and really can you blame will for not calling when even without taking the fact that he's in love with mike into consideration the last #time he tried to show this friendship meant a lot to him he got shut down like crazy and was told that he was acting like a kid #i would've wanted mike to make a little bit of an effort too after that tf #and i know why he didn't call if he did in fact not call i know all that will isn't a tumblr byler he knows none of that not calling + not #hugging + agreeing to you not being important to the day + making you third wheel = not caring about you is not a crazy leap #if you wanna do the will isn't a perfect angel who is always 100% in the right thing (which i respect btw) i don't really see how #rink o mania helps your case I'M SORRY #you just will never convince me that it was 50/50 #ask

[fiendishartist2]

how was the view from the shelf- petscop

The girl with no eyebrows stared back at him.

Red pupils swimming in wide eyes, stark against ashen skin. The flash turned her into a ghost, haloed in white light against the black walls. Her mouth fell agape– whether mid-scream or mid-sentence, Paul didn’t know.

He looked left, tracing the girl’s wide eyes in another photo. She was surrounded by other, more recognisable faces. Taken during Christmas, it looked like, judging by the limp tree lurking in the corner. That was one of the only days of the year Paul remembered visiting The Family, so he scanned the picture for himself.

Jill, arms crossed as to not hold hands with the miserably dull man at her side. Mike, halfway perched on his mother’s lap and grinning up at his brother. Anna and another man, smiling sensibly at the camera and loosely wrapped around each other. Paul glossed over them– it made him a little uncomfortable to see the restraint on their faces. But there, burning a hole in the middle of a mundane family photo, was the girl with no eyebrows.

She was impossibly small, curled against Anna. Her nose was buried in the side of Anna’s stomach, Anna’s arm wrapped around her in turn. Wide eyes behind unkempt bangs peeked at the camera.

Paul had seen these photos over and over again throughout his childhood; they stopped visiting Anna while he was in high school, but Lina tried her best to keep in touch. They still came over for the occasional Christmas, up until he found the game. He knew what each photo contained, when they were taken, who was in them.

She haunted every single one.

Peering over Belle’s shoulder as she did a puzzle for the girl; Anna gave him that puzzle for his birthday, despite him asking for a radio. He couldn’t figure out how the pieces all fit together, so he had to ask Belle to help him. Eventually, she took over and Paul was content to watch his best friend play with his birthday present.

Standing at the edge of a picture, watching Mike and Belle play in the yard; Paul was a shy kid, never wanting to step on anyone’s toes. Even when Anna arranged play-dates at home, Paul would just trail behind his friends while they had fun.

Swaddled in Anna’s arms; Anna was always sentimental, before she became as overbearing as she was now. Paul didn’t actually know much about his parents, but he remembered Anna’s choking hugs. The way his voice muffled against her stuffy cardigans. He cleared his throat.

Paul could place himself in each and every photo hung on the wall and yet.

And yet the girl with no eyebrows was always in his place.

The longer he stared at her, the further he drifted off kilter. Degree by degree, Paul’s sense of reality warped; the photos on the wall were washed away by a swirling sea of black.

How could he know what was real anymore? Rainer cast a spell to change his past. And now the game was invading his life, mangling every part of him until he didn’t fit. Deforming his face until there was nothing left to recognise. Twisting his memories until all that’s left was her.

Would she be there when Paul’s vision cleared?

Would his face replace hers, just as she has done to him?

Would he look in the mirror and see a clear picture again?

Those eyes, that nose; would it be Paul or the girl with no eyebrows looking back at him?

Everything was so blurry– where are his glasses? She doesn’t wear glasses, she’s blind.

Paul needed to get back to the game, but he can’t go back to that room. It’s not his room. It’s not his room. He has a room– this was his childhood home– but that wasn’t his room. She didn’t live here and she’s not in the family photos because she’s not real. Carrie Mark is not real.

You are Carrie Mark.

You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark. You are Carrie Mark.

Rainer wants you to retrace your steps. Her steps. Her steps, not yours. You don’t have a room.

Paul gasped, breathing deeply as water filled his lungs. He’s drowning, drenched head to toe and shivering. It’s so cold. But he can’t stop. He has to keep going, keep running, he has to get home, he has to get home, he just needs to get home.

Left. Left. Right. Left.

He placed one hand on the wall, supporting himself as he leaned over. He’s been running for so long, he’s out of breath. Ragged breaths drawn out of a mouth wide open, a scream caught by the flash of a camera. The blinding hallway light haloed him against a black wall, exposing pale skin. He’s swaying on his feet. He’s been running for so long.

Paul blinked, lifting his head enough to see the photos again.

She’s looking right at him.

He blinked again.

He’s looking right at him.

Here’s a puzzle: the child in the photo wore the face of the girl with no eyebrows, and then the face of Paul Leskowitz. The image of Paul’s childhood did not change. What happened?

Nausea bloomed in Paul’s stomach.

He should finish that game.

#tee hee #im projecting on paul a little bit bc i have been going through it lately... #i once again wanted to write a panic attack bc i have been having a lot of them lately. so heres paul having an identity crisis #also its his birthday ToT im sorry king but i made a piece for care i need to make smth for you too and this is what i came up with #technically each is for both of them but whatever #my fic #petscop #paul leskowitz #petscop paul #carrie mark #petscop care #you may recognise the you are carrie mark thing from the tags of another petscop post i made and its bc im obsessed with that line #it drives me crazy!!!!!!!! rainer tells him he is carrie mark while performing a spell that changes his past. but games cant do that #ooouuuugggghhhhhhhhhhhhh petscop 17 you will always be famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #title from milk by jack stauber