#things i'm learning

[full-timemuse]

“To enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself.”

—Herman Melville

#writing #things i'm learning #self

[icemankazansky]

Hollywood power couple goals: Rockstar Iceman Kazansky and his husband, movie star Maverick Mitchell.

from the Star AUniverse wip

#Top Gun fanart #Icemav #Star auniverse #i have so many wips #digital drawing #digital painting #Things I'm learning #My art

[ashleyasha]

Sometimes toxicity removes itself from your life. Sometimes what you want and what you need doesn't align. Sometimes things really are for the best.

#things i'm learning

[softlyapollo]

the older I get the more I realize that my gut instinct has never once lead me wrong, even the times that I thought it did. trusting my intuition is like a magic.

#intuition #personal #thoughts #things I'm learning #captain's log

[performing-personhood]

Any other former children wanna talk about the things our parents told us that we wouldn't realize was pretty messed up/completely totally incorrect until we were adults??

I'll go first:

My mom, the stable one of my parental set and eldest of six irish-catholic kids, used to say "After the age of 25 you're not allowed to blame your parents for your life anymore! You're an adult now and you have to take responsibility for your own life."

Which, like, sounds rgood in a vacuum? And is maybe even, to give the lady some credit, a teensy-weensy bit true? (Especially when my helpless father is taken into consideration.) Because assuming responsibility for one's own bullshit is a super important thing to do if one ever wants to properly perform stability and independence.

The problem here is that this logic completely ignores the generational trauma, while both absolving the guilty parties and placing the blame for lingering emotional damage onto the traumatized person. And that is fucked up.

Yall. I'm three years deep into weekly AEDP therapy and I am still learning that [refers to note cards] "It Is Okay To Be Upset About Your Childhood And Hold Your Parents Responsible For Your Lingering Emotional Damage Even If Your Parents Tried Their Best And Were Generally Upstanding People."

Repeat after me: It's okay to be angry at your parents for how things turned out. It is okay to be low-contact or no-contact with those same people who tried their best, especially if they won't change despite your best efforts to change with them.

Because guess what buckaroo? That's what taking responsibility for your adult life looks like: it looks like protecting yourself from people who would do you harm. Whether or not the people intend to or willfully inflict harm on you does not factor into this equation.

#ok your turn #adult children #millenials #generational trauma #undoing generational trauma #difficult parents #mental health self care #going low contact #going no contact #adult children supporting adult children #breaking the cycle #the cycle breakers club #millenial problems #adult child problems #adult children of parents with mental illness #things i learned in therapy #therapy #thank goodness for therapy #things i'm learning #aging parents #care and feeding of boomers #how to have aging parents #so your parents are boomers #text post

[justanotherstudyblrrrr]

Happy birthday to me: 20 things I’ve learned these past 20 years.

Nothing lasts forever.

Music makes things better.

If you want something to happen, work for it.

You're more qualified than you think.

Try the things that scare you, they'll make you grow.

Voice your opinion, as long as you do it respectfully.

People you love can hurt you.

Learn how to let go.

Don't hold on to the past.

Expect the worst, prepare for the best.

Failure is not the end of the world.

No number will ever define you.

Learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.

You'll never “fall behind”, everyone has their own rhythm.

You can hurt the people you love.

Laugh.

People who are meant to stay, will stay.

Never EVER sacrifice a good night sleep.

Do not skip meals.

You're gonna be judged no matter what, so do whatever the hell you please, and enjoy life as much as you can, we only got one.

#studyblr #studyspo #life advice #life lessons #things i'm learning #help #thoughts #images from pinterest

[btsbabe7]

Happy New Year! ☺️🥂🍾🪩♥️

Thank you for all the support I’ve received on this blog over the years! It’s been rewarding to share work that I used to be nervous to share with anyone. Thank you for all the support on all the drafts that actually made it to this blog and received an abundance of love. This truly is the one safe space that I have and I really hope to put more content out this year.

My only goal this year is to put myself first—my feelings, my hobbies, my wants and needs. Too many times have I put the needs of others over my own and it has only cost me my sanity in the end. The truth is, those that genuinely care will find a way to show it, to reciprocate it, and those that don’t should be left behind.

I hope that this year we all find value in being our true selves, that we find and live in our own self worth and embrace it fully, no matter who accepts it or doesn’t. So, I’m sending nothing but good vibes for 2023 and beyond! ✨

-A ♥️

#2023 resolutions #2023 goals #put myself first #i’ll try #be true to yourself #friendship #things ive learned #things i'm learning #life lessons #lesson learned #bts fic #bts #fanfic writer #fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #txt #txt fanfic #txt drabbles #harry potter drabble #bts drabble #bangtan sonyeondan #kpop #kpop scenarios #bangtan #bts ff #au bts #my safe place #2023 #happy new year

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[full-timemuse]

No more tools, just me.

#personal #things i'm learning

[icemankazansky]

#top gun fanart #Icemav #icemav happily ever after #Cuddles #By popular demand #My art #Digital drawing #things i'm learning

[fhear]

Things I'm Learning

#Things I'm Learning

[slfcare]

every time you assume that others are thinking negatively of you or judging you behind your back, you are bullying yourself through them. at the end of the day, you don't know what thoughts are running through their heads unless they verbally express them to you. until then, every one of 'their' opinions about you is nothing more than your fear, and whatever assumption is born from your fear is yours to let go - not theirs to disprove.

#telling myself this because i'm back to thinking Mean Things about myself THROUGH others #and that's unfair to everyone #growth in the self #the healing (starts here) #comfort kindness family #learning to be a social being

[duinoelegies]

something so crazy-making about unhealthy mentor-protegé relationships. we're foils, we're mirrors, we're the same person, we're a parent and a child, we're lovers, we're enemies, we'd be better off without each other, we'd kill and die for each other

#its literally all walter and jesse: you're the only one i can teach and i'm the only one you can learn from #don and peggy: we're building the desert of the real and you're the only real thing there #house and chase: please free us from our bad show so we're more than just the potential for being interesting

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[vynnyal]

Some comics

#rain world #comic #rw hunter #five pebbles #spearmaster #rivulet #artificer #First one is back when I first started to learn how play the game seriously #And was super jumpy about enemies because of it. Kept killing things before our buddy had the chance to try #I'm better now lmfao but it was still funny #Also I never draw riv the same way twice. Literally #I just choose a random pink purple and blue #Hope it works out #art

[uncanny-tranny]

Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.

#disability #disability advocacy #and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem... #...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder... #...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you... #...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking... #...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability... #...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers #i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience #like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities... #...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out... #...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking... #...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors? #i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself