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gglitch1dd · 7 months

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Stud (Bull Eijiro x Heifer Reader)

Day 2 of Breedingtober

<<MASTERLIST>>

Eijiro has finally been chosen as a stud and you're the heifer chosen to have his calves

There is Farmhand Izuku x Heifer Reader included in this as well

Warning: Hybrids! (cow and bull), heats and ruts mentioned, farm setting, lactation, lactation kink, BREEDING, pregnancy kink, hybrids are basically naked all the time cause why would they wear clothes?, Katsuki's gay ass

Words: 5,6k

“Eijiro! Eijiro, come here boy!”

The young bull perked up at the calling. He sat up from where he was lying down under a tree and turned to the fence. Standing there with an apple was Katsuki. His favourite farmhand in this new farm he was sold to. He perked up at the sight, quickly moving towards the blond man at the wooden fence. The large Kirishima bull hybrid had his tail wagging as he put his hands on the fence and looked down at Katsuki with an excited smile. Katsuki chuckled as he handed him an apple and reached up to scratch the back of one of his black floppy ears. “Hey there buddy. How’s my prized bull doing?” He asked.

Eijiro took a bite of the apple with a nod of his head. “Pretty well, actually. I had a nap not too long ago and I said made some new friends. Rikkido and Pony over on the other side of the fence, they’re nice.” Although Katsuki couldn’t understand the language that cow hybrids spoke, he still listened anyway. It was sort of a one-way communication with hybrids understanding human speech but not being able to communicate back. But Katsuki and Eijiro always had a way to make communicating work.

Katsuki smiled with a nod of his head. “I’m glad it was good, buddy.” He stated. The blond lowered his head with a sigh as he shook his head. It caused rise of suspicion from Eijiro as he raised an eyebrow as he looked to the blond. Katsuki looked up at him. “You know… Aizawa said that he thinks that you’re ready to become a stud.”

At that Eijiro’s ears perked up with a surprised look on his face. Eijiro had been an adult bull for a while now and had just been transferred to this new farm, away from the one he spent his entire life on. It was something that Eijiro knew was coming. The same thing happened to his father when he was his age too. He had always looked up to his father. Being a big, tough and strong bull that was able to take care of the cows and heifers on the farm as well as their own. His father was a great stud, always getting a calf in a heifer or cow with not much try, but he was also caring too. He was one of the reasons Eijiro was the bull he was today. So, at the news that the big scary guy that was Aizawa thought that he was well adjusted enough to sire a calf was music to his ears.

Eijiro perked up with a bright look in his ruby eyes, he let out affirmative noise as he nodded his head furiously. “That would be great!” He mooed to Katsuki’s ears. A bright big smile on his face as he nodded his head furiously. “I would love that!”

Katsuki sighed as he folded his arms over his chest, with an almost disappointed look. “I know buddy but… I don’t know if that’s for you.” Eijiro’s smile froze as he blinked in confusion. He tilted his head confused. Katsuki shook his head with a frown. “I mean, you are a great bull and all, but I don’t know if you could handle breeding a heifer. I mean, Izuku did say he had one of his best heifers ready for you, but I don’t know. I think you’re more of a eunuch type of bull.”

At the word ‘eunuch’, Eijiro froze. “Eunuch… Eunuch!” Katsuki’s eyes widened at the sudden change in behaviour. If there was one thing about the dark blacked haired bull hybrid, it was that he was a naturally a calm and friendly bull. In his time here, Katsuki had never seen him aggressive or inherently angry. There was one time that he chased off a younger bull for bothering some of the pregnant cows when they had their time at the lake, but even then, he seemed more disappointed than angry. Now, however… Katsuki wasn’t sure how to feel. The large redhaired bull picked up Katsuki by the collar of his flannel, lifting him up. Eijiro let out a loud huff from his nose in anger. He glared down at the blond with an aggressive stance to the blond. “Now what would make you think that.”

Katsuki withheld a smirk as he swallowed down hard, reminding himself of the situation at hand. He put his hands up in defence. “Fine, big guy. How about you just meet her, and we see how it goes, but I’m just saying that you seem more of a-” Another loud huff went to Katsuki’s face as he let out a low growl. “Okay. Okay. Put me down, big guy.”

Eijiro glared down at Katsuki with a scowl. He let out a hum before letting go of the blond farmhand. Katsuki landed back down on his boots. He dusted down his flannel, trying to control the blush on his face. He looked up at the bull who seemed rather offended with him, is arms folded over his bare chest. He motioned for Eijiro to walk with him. Katsuki led him to the gate of the fence.

Eijiro hated being in a bad mood, especially when meeting and talking to heifers and cows because he knew how sensitive they were to the moods around them. Katsuki let him out onto the dirt road, allowing Eijiro free of being held in the fence, however Katsuki knew Eijiro was a good bull. He had always been, from as long as Katsuki knew him and from what he heard from his previous owners. As Katsuki led the still pouty bull, his walkie-talkie buzzed.

“Kacchan, where are you?” A voice asked.

Katsuki rolled his eyes as he picked up the walkie-talkie from his belt and lifted it up to his mouth. “I’m bringing in big red. Do you have her?”

“Of course, I do.” The voice sounded offended. “I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t wasting my heifers time. My cows have a lot to do, you know.”

Katsuki sighed in annoyance. His comrade and fellow farm hand (and best friend although he would never admit it), Midoriya Izuku or as Katsuki liked to call him-Deku, was in charge of the heifers and the cows. Mostly because they all liked him best but also because he was softer with them. He cared for them a whole bunch which resulted in them being spoiled rotten by him. “And this is why you take care of the heifers and I take care of the bulls. Now shut up, we’re almost there.”

Eijiro looked around at the barn he had never really been in before. It wasn’t very big and was basically only one room, but it was soft and cosy inside. The floor was layered with soft hay, blankets and pillows. It seemed cosy and sweet. Eijiro had never seen a stall liken this unless it was for pregnant or birthing mothers. However, there was something less maternal about this area, an underlying smell that told him that this was more about creating life in a different stage. Taking his attention was a heifer that sat down on the soft hay. The green haired farmhand that worked with Katsuki crouched beside you, a black cowboy hat on his head that matched Katsuki’s. You looked up to the opened door to Katsuki and Eijiro. You tilted your head in slight interest.

Izuku smiled as he caressed your head gently. “Hey Y/N, that’s the nice bull I told you about. That’s Eijiro. You know him, he just came a few weeks ago.” Izuku spoke to you gently, his voice keeping you relaxed as Katsuki moved in front of Eijiro, trying to keep the bull from approaching you too fast. Izuku pat your head softly before standing up. “We’ll be leaving the two of you to get to know each other for a bit. We’ll be just outside, and we’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

You looked up at him and let out a sweet smile. “Okay.” You nodded your head, although to Izuku it sounded like a sweet little moo.

He gave you another heart stealing smile as he tapped your nose. “Good girl.” He turned to walk over to Katsuki who had turned to Eijiro.

Katsuki pointed a finger up at Eijiro with a stern look. “Behave. Be the good bull I know you are.” Eijiro let out a huff in offence that he thought that he’d be anything but gentle. Katsuki glared at him for a second before him and Izuku left, closing the door just a smidge behind them, just in case something happened.

Eijiro turned back to you and where you sat. Your tail swished behind you as you had your hands on the ground before you as you played around with some flowers. You pat the ground next to you for him to come and join you. “Hi.” You chirped out to him.

Eijiro smiled as he walked over slowly to you. “Afternoon.” He carefully moved down and rather ungracefully plopped down beside you making you giggle. His smile broadened at the sound of your giggles. “My name’s Eijiro.”

“I’m Y/N.” You tilted your head to the side. “I’ve heard a lot of things about you.” Eijiro let out a confused huff with a raised eyebrow that made you giggle. “The heifers and cow talk a lot. You seem really popular with the ladies.”

That new piece of information brought a blush to Eijiro’s cheeks as he straightened up. He let out a chuckle as he scratched the back of his head. “I am? Jeez, I didn’t know.”

You found it amusing that such a big and handsome bull didn’t see himself worth the attention. You nodded your head. “Yep. They were wondering if you were gonna be a stud or not, but I guess I know my answer now.” You leaned forward closer to him, your eyes assessing his body that made Eijiro’s face run hot. “I have never seen a Kirishima bull before, I’ve only heard about you guys. I heard you were a lot of money, big guy.”

He let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Yah, it seems that way. Kirishimas… well, we’re good at breeding strong calves so often than not we sell for more apparently. Or that’s just what my father told me.” He recited.

You shifted to face him, even though you smiled sweet, what you were about to say wasn’t as innocent as you appeared. “So can you give a strong calf?” You tilted your head to the side, your ears moving with you.

Eijiro froze for a moment at your question, an inherit desire to mount you running through him. It was a feel he had felt before with heifers in heat that he might walk past, but not one he tried to act upon, not unless he was allowed to. Like right now. Why else would they leave the two of you together but to prompt a sort of bonding to allow for him to breed you. It was obvious and yet, it didn’t make the desire any less.

The bull hesitated before shrugging. “I’d have to check… May I?”

You weren’t sure what he was asking but you allowed him. “Okay, but what- EEP!”

You were pushed down into the hay, Eijiro on top of you as he moved his nose to your neck. The feeling of him sniffing you made you giggle as he inspected you. You were soft. You were so soft, your skin so plush. He could smell the milk heavy in your breasts showing that you were a dairy heifer and one that produced a lot by the looks of it. Perfect for a calf and for the farm. He moved his gaze down to your round little chubby tummy that he loved. It showed that you were healthy. He moved his eyes down before looked at your fur coat over your legs and hat your hips. Your spotted coat was cute and matched you pretty well. However right between your legs, hidden was a place that smell sweet. He nosed at your slit as he let out a huff.

You let out a small squeak at the war feeling against your sex, a flushed look on your face. You were a heifer for a reason, so clearly you hadn’t had a sexual interaction like this before. Eijiro found it cute with how he could already smell your arousal off of you. He moved to spread your legs open a bit more, allowing him to see a beautiful wet cunt. He hummed in approval. He could tell by the smell and look of you that you were close to your heat. That was a good thing.

Without warning, he ran a tongue up your sex making you squeal in surprise. Eijiro nodded his head as he hummed. “Yah… I could. You seem perfect for me.” He stated simply, almost as if this whole display done by him wasn’t as heat inducing as it was for you as for him. He moved back to look down at you from above. He smirked, “Wanna be mine? I promise you, darling, I’ll stuff you full and give you as many calves as you want. I’ll take care of you and protect you. You won’t need to worry with me.”

You felt a flush over your neck and face. With a big and handsome bull like him over you, it felt almost stupid to say no. You nodded your head almost wordlessly. “Okay.”

“Good morning, everyone!” Izuku opened the barn where the heifers stayed, early morning tired moos filled the air just how he liked it.

Izuku loved his job as a farmhand, but most of all, he loved his heifers and cows. Now don’t get Izuku wrong, he knows that there are certain rules he will never break when it comes to them. But it was no secret that Izuku would do anything make his ladies happy, even if it meant bending the rules just a little bit (part of the reason why all the sugar cubes went missing).

He unlocked the stalls, allowing the heifers to move out of the barn before him fetching their breakfast. However, one of the heifers paused outside her stall. Izuku looked to Momo who let out a soft huff from her nose. “Hey there, girl.” He scratched underneath her chin. “What’s up?”

She looked over to one of the last stalls, your stall. Izuku furrowed his eyebrows as he peaked in to see. You were lying in your bed of soft blankets over hay as you tried to regulate your breathing. You had your eyes closed as you squeezed your eyes shut. Izuku let out a breath, seeing as you had finally went into your heat. He could tell last night that you were close but not there yet.

He turned to Momo and smiled. “Good girl. Go join the others. I’ll bring breakfast soon, let me just milk Y/N before taking her away for a bit.” Momo nodded her head as she trotted out of the barn. Izuku turned to you, moving to enter your stall. He carefully slipped in before crouching down towards you. He gave you a sad smile. “Hey there, sugarcube.” He let out lowly as he put a hand to your side, your skin warm under his calloused hard-working hands.

You opened your eyes with tears in them as you whined in pain and need, reaching your head up to look at him. “Hurts…”

Izuku shushed you gently as he gently began to massage your flank. “I know, sugar, I know. I promise to get you to Eijiro so that he can take real good care about you, but I need to milk you first.” You whined at the idea. “I know, I know. I promise I’ll be quick and gentle.” He left you for a moment leaving you to your own devices.

You weren’t entirely sure what was going on, your head feeling a bit light and fluffy and yet there was this aching and pounding feeling between your legs that needed to be satiated. You had only ever experienced it twice before, and the first time was the time that big scary Aizawa determined that you were ready to become a cow and he just needed to get a bull to do the job. Which bull was the question.

But now you had Eijiro, and the thought of him made your cunt ache as slick laced your lips. You shifted in need. You felt empty. You felt so empty. You needed something to help. You needed a bull. You needed a big large red haired with black fur, ruby eyed bull to give you a calf. That’s what you needed. And you did the one thing your instincts told you to do whenever you were like this, and it was call out for a bull.

“Keep all the bulls on their side of the fence until we put them together and then-” Izuku turned at the sound of bellowing. He moved over the now sterilised equipment and quickly made his way to you. You were still in your stall, not hurt or anything but you seemed desperate. You let out small desperate cries.

“Deku, the fuck was that?”

“Y/N. Just get Eijiro to the breeding pen, I’ll be there in like five to ten minutes. I have to milk her and stretch her out first.”

“You have to do WHA-”

Izuku switched off the walkie-talkie and moved inside with you. He shushed you sweetly as he moved to sit on the bench that was in your stall. “Hey, sugarcube, hey, there’s no need to cry. It’s okay.”

He carefully picked you up, years of working on a farm making it easy for him and put you onto his lap, but you were too needy to care. Izuku shushed you sweetly, his calming voice making your sounds a bit softer as he gently tried to lull you into a sense of safety. He carefully moved one hand to your breast. He felt around, feeling how tense and full you were. He squeezed earning a pained sound from you.

He frowned. “Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked softly. “I asked you if you needed milking yesterday and you said no.” You looked away from him, hiding your face. However, Izuku already knew the answer. He loved all his heifers and cows too much mot to know them front to back. He let out a sigh. “I know it hurts, honey. I know that when you near your heat, your tits get sensitive, but it has to be done the else you’ll get sick.” He put it simply.

Izuku left the matter at that, as he went to massaging you carefully. The feeling had you relaxing in his lap as he gently massaged your breast. You hummed in pleasure at the feeling. Izuku moved to gently pinch your nipples making you squeak in slight pain, however he got what he wanted when he saw milk dribble out onto his fingers. He quickly moved to grab the suction cups that go over your breasts and carefully put them there. Without warning he started it, but immediately you let out a loud groan in pain.

The suction around your breasts was painful but also arousing as first small dribbles of milk started to leave before slowly the cup started to fill with milk. Izuku carefully stroked your head, smiling down at you as he placed a kiss to your head. “You’re doing so well, sugarcube. You’re doing so well for me.” He praised. You tried to hold back your whimpers as you felt his gentle yet calloused hands move to your sex. He moved a finger up your slit making your hips stutter. “It’s okay, darling. I just have to stretch you out before I take you to Eijiro. He’s a big bull and I don’t want him to hurt or tear you.”

It was often a concern for the handlers that delt with heifers that had never been bred before. Their heats often kick started the bull’s ruts and Lord knows nothing can stop a bull in his rut from mounting a cow in heat, even if the cow isn’t stretched out enough.

Izuku carefully moved his fingers up and down your slit before pushing a finger inside you. You let out a low moan at finally having something inside you as he carefully tried to stretch you out slowly. At the feeling of pleasure from your sex, finally your milk started to push out a bit more and the pain was starting to become void.

Izuku smiled. “Good girl. Such a good girl. You see, I knew you could do it.” He praised, ignoring the soft squelch of your cunt in his hands as he let slick drip down his fingers. “You’re doing so well for me and look at all that milk you’re giving me. You’ve always been such a good girl for me, giving so much for us.” He carefully started to push in two fingers making you hiss but your leaking hole allowed it. Your eyebrows were furrowed at the building tension in your abdomen that was begging to be let out the more attention that was given to your sex. “I bet once you’re pregnant with a calf, you’ll probably produce even more, huh.” At the mention of a calf, Izuku felt your cunt tighten around his fingers as a low moan left your mouth at the thought. You wanted a calf. You really wanted one. Izuku chuckled in amusement. “Oh sweetheart, it’s okay. I’ll get you to Eijiro right after this. How about you let Eijiro knock you up for me, hm? Wouldn’t that be nice? I’d get to take such good care of you, and you’ll even give me a calf to look after. You’d make such cute calves.”

Your little desperate moans turned a bit more restless as a new feeling came to your abdomen. With his extra hand he moved to switch off the device, seeing as you were done and carefully took off the cups from your breasts. Your tits were perked up and sensitive, still dripping with small dribbles of milk, but Izuku could trust that Eijiro would deal with the rest. He could tell you were close by the way you were squirming and how restless you seemed. He carefully pushed another finger in but increased his pace.

You thrust back against his fingers, moving to turn your head and push your face into his chest. You could feel the building ache only growing and you could feel that you were about to cum. Your breaths quickened as you arched slightly against him. Your sex tightened around his fingers as a squeal left your mouth. Slick squirted out of you as you came undone on his fingers.

“Good girl, such a good girl.” Izuku praised sweetly as he fingered you through your orgasm. You slumped back against him, temporary bliss in your head as he finally got you stretched enough to take Eijiro without tearing. He smiled. He picked you up, standing up carefully as he kicked open your stall door.

You were too blissed out and content for a bit to care much. You understood why heifers and cows always looked forward to their heats now. If this is how they were treated, you could understand why. You weren’t too aware of what was going on, so you weren’t paying attention when Izuku approached the shed that you were in when you met Eijiro.

Katsuki was inside trying to calm the restless bill that was pacing back and forth, a lasso around him to keep control of him. However, Eijiro’s attention quickly changed when his nose picked up your scent. He lifted his nose into the air sniffing for a moment before turning to where you lay in Izuku’s arms. The bull was clearly already pent up, probably having his rut nearby due to encountering you a few says ago. It was clear with how heavy his balls looked. Poor bull.

“There you are, you fucking bastard!” Katsuki shouted as he kept a hold of a now determined Eijiro who wanted to get to you. He let out a grunt as he held the bull back. “You told me you would be quick.”

“I was.” Izuku answered straight, putting you down gently. “Don’t worry, Eijiro will take care of you.” He told you softly, before letting go of you. Izuku motioned to Katsuki, who was surprisingly holding Eijiro just fine. He undid the rope, allowing for Eijiro to be free and race over to you.

The large bull skidded over to you before kneeling down closer to you. You smelt delicious but he also waited for you to notice him, a needy whine escaping his throat. “Y/N.” He let out lowly. “May I- Can I please…”

You turned to look at him with half lidded eyes of lust. You gave him a smile and motioned for him to come. “Alright.” You didn’t have to tell him twice as Eijiro was on you like white on rice.

While the two farmhands left you both to it, the truth was that you both couldn’t care if they stayed or not. Eijiro had put you onto your back which had surprised you. Your instincts told you that you had to be on your knees with your ass up in front of him, however he stopped you every time you tried.

You would have asked why if you didn’t get distracted by the heavy hanging pair of balls filled with cum and the thick leaking cock that told you that he was more than eager to mount you. Eijiro hissed as he carefully stroked his cock, so much precum leaving his slit that it almost made you wonder how much he would put inside of you. A whine escaped you at the thought.

Eijiro moved forward to carefully pull you towards him, your thighs spread enough to allow him between them. With one hand rubbing your thighs with his thumb and the other aiming his cock to your hole, he pushed inside you. You released a low moan at the feeling of his thick cock pushing at your walls and forcing you to take him. It was a delicious burn but now you were grateful for whatever Izuku did, cause it felt easier than it could have been.

Surprising you, Eijiro bent down to put his forehead against yours. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, vulnerable. Eijiro’s ruby eyes looked down at you with a gentleness you never expected from a bull. He put a hand to the side of your face gently, taking your breath away, as he used the other to support his weight on top of you.

You didn’t understand what he was doing. “Eijiro, what are you doing? You can… you can just fuck me already.”

Eijiro let out a huff. “No, I need you to understand something.” He elaborated. He looked away from you for a moment before looking back at you with a gentle smile. “My father always told me that when you get your first heifer to breed, she’ll be yours forever. That she would be your priority and your heart belongs to her before any other cow or heifer. I need you to understand that you are my first, and my utmost priority.” He told you.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, not knowing how to process what he had just said. Most of your life, you had seen most bulls not really care on who they bred, and if they did, it certainly wasn’t emotionally tied as the cows were. However, there were exceptions, like Pony and Sato. But it seemed that Eijiro was one too.

You didn’t care if he studded and bred other cows, mostly because you had no say in the matter, but it meant a lot to you that he said. You felt tears in your eyes as you smiled. You nodded your head, wrapping your arms around him. “Okay.” You whispered.

He placed a kiss on your forehead, making it all the more precious, before he slowly started to move his hips. Eijiro sucked in a breath at the feeling of your velvety wet walls around his cock. You moaned in bliss at the full feeling of his cock inside you. Eijiro’s thrusts were slow at first, savouring the feeling of being together, slow but almost intimate with the way he had you looking up at him.

Eijiro let out a low rumble from his chest as he slowly picked up the pace, holding on to your hip with one hand. He watched as with every thrust your body jiggled in response, your eyes half lidded in pleasure as you kept your eyes up on him. He found you gorgeous. His eyes however stayed on your breasts that had beads of milk on your nipples still. He hummed at the thought of a snack right now and bent down to wrap his mouth around your teat.

Once you felt his hot mouth around you and then begin to suck, you let out a low moan from the back of your throat, as slick gushed around his cock. He felt the way you squeezed him at the feeling of him drinking from you, making him groan. You tasted delicious. Your milk almost had a sweet undertone to it, making him wonder if you had been eating sugarcubes.

You had your back arched as you had your arms around him as he fucked into you harder now. You liked the feeling of his cock moving inside you, filling you up, but most of all, you loved the feeling of the head of his cock hitting that part inside you that had you seeing stars.

“Eijiro.” You moaned his name. “Eijiro, more. I want you. I want you to give me a calf.” You whined in want.

And who was Eijiro to deny you. He carefully let go of your other breast, licking his lips while mentally telling himself that he will get more from you later as he focused on the task at hand. He adjusted your hips before roughly moving in and out of you, fucking into you roughly, taking you by surprise. With every thrust you squeaked, eyes wide at the actions, while Eijiro let out low grunts and groans at the feeling of you. You had never felt such pleasure in your life, the feeling of him inside you basically euphoric that you couldn’t think if you tried.

Suddenly you felt yourself coming undone around his cock. You bit your bottom lip with a squeal as you came. Eijiro let out a moan. “Oh fuck, you feel amazing.” He moaned as he smirked down at you. “You gonna take all my cum, hm? Gonna take it all and grow my seed for me.”

You nodded dumbly up at him. “Yes, Eijiro! Yes, please.” You cried out to him.

He let out a low almost growl like sound as his thrust became more sporadic and harsher than rhythmic. The sound of your wet cunt, your moans and his balls slapping against your ass was all too lewd for you to handle and yet you couldn’t have had it any other way. Eijiro’s grip on you tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He gritted his teeth, as he aimed one final thrust right up against your cervix making you moan in pain and pleasure. Eijiro buried his face in the crook of your neck as a low groan left him, his cock twitching as warm cum spurt inside you. You couldn’t have felt fuller, feeling as though you were about to burst. You wrapped your arms around him as you closed your eyes, not ever wanting to let him go.

Katsuki dusted off his hands, seeing as the two of you were getting on with it from the sounds they could hear from inside. He followed Izuku out of the shed, closing the door behind the two of them. Katsuki looked to Izuku who was wiping his hand of a sticky wet substance on his hand with a handkerchief. Katsuki raised an eyebrow as he looked to the green haired man beside him.

Izuku looked at Katsuki from the corner of his eye. He sighed. “What is it, Kacchan?” He asked almost annoyed.

“Quick my ass.” He scoffed as he looked to the freckled man. Katsuki shook his head. “You know Deku, some of us don’t like to finger our cows when we have jobs to do.”

Izuku rolled his eyes at the statement. He turned to leave. “And some of us don’t like to fondle their balls, Kacchan.” He commented, leaving the blond red in the face at the implication. “When last were you fucked, Kacchan? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

Katsuki scowled at Izuku. “Oh, fuck me!” He threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

“No, thank you.”

Taglist: @pasteldaze

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

Text

“It’s happening,” crows Dustin. “Eddie, it’s happening, it’s happening, she said yes!”

Eddie blinks up at him from the blankets. “Is…this about your little girlfriend, Henderson?” Is there a school dance coming up or something? Wait, it’s the summer, school’s not happening.

In a just world, Eddie Munson would never have to think about high school again; in a just world, Dustin Henderson would not have woken him up by breaking into his trailer at ass o’clock in the morning.

“No, man, Erica! Erica Sinclair! She’s gonna run a My Little Pony game for us!”

“Okay.” Eddie turns over to bury his face in his pillow. “Lock up when you leave,” he says, muffled.

———

He honest-to-god thinks it’s just a weird dream for the next few days. He’s almost completely forgotten about it when Mike corners him at work.

“You have to make her stop,” Mike says.

“Okay, Wheeler, two things. First: who am I making stop what? Second: I’m not making anyone stop anything. Really not my style, and also, I don’t wanna get involved in whatever this is.”

“You’re already involved! We’re all involved! We’re all, like, liable.”

“Right.” Eddie wipes his hands on a rag and ambles over. “Kid, you have got to start giving me some context here. What are we talking about?”

Mike gives him just the absolute bitchiest eyeroll any human being has ever mustered in the history of the world, and sighs noisily. “Erica wants to run a stupid game, and Dustin keeps encouraging her. Tell Erica and Dustin that we play Dungeons and Dragons with like, cool monsters and shit. Not some stupid game about ponies. It’s not even D&D, it’s a whole new stupid system that she’s making us learn.”

“Oh, shit.” There’s—a few things to unpack in that little speech, but Eddie can’t help the delighted grin spreading over his face. “That’s for real? The pony game? Shit, this is going to be the best thing ever. What system is she planning to run the campaign in?”

“Oh my god,” says Mike, and storms out of the garage.

———

“GURPS: Generic Universal Role-Playing System,” announces Erica, slamming the books down on Steve’s kitchen table. “A flexible, multi-purpose, setting-agnostic system that can accommodate any conceivable type of story or play style. This is the future of role-playing games, not your broke-ass fantasy bullcrap.”

Eddie wonders how complicated it is to file paperwork for adoption.

“Some of us like D&D,” says Will.

“Yeah, we don’t want your stupid generic whatever. We’re not playing,” Mike snaps.

“That’s not what I said.” Will looks annoyed with Mike, which has been happening a lot lately. Eddie’s glad the kid seems to be growing more of a spine; you can’t just let your tragic heterosexual crushes walk all over you, but that’s the kind of lesson every young gay needs to learn the hard way. “I’m fine with trying something new. I’m just saying, the next campaign after this should be D&D.”

“Sure, what-ever, nerds,” drawls Erica. “We’ll see how you feel after you experience the magic of Ponyland.”

Lucas puts his face in his hands when she says the magic of Ponyland and lets out a pitiful groan.

“Whoo!” cheers Dustin. “Let’s get started!”

———

It takes them a solid two hours to make their characters. Even Eddie, who’s been vaguely aware of GURPS since it was released a couple years ago, is struggling a little to adapt. It’s just been a while since he played anything but D&D, but he’s enjoying the change of pace. He likes this kind of challenge; it’s like figuring out how to play a familiar song in an unfamiliar genre.

Erica is not especially patient with them, but she’s clearly done her prep work, so Eddie thinks they all manage to get through the character creation process more or less the way it’s supposed to be done.

Steve gets back from work right when they’re putting the finishing touches on their characters. The way he blinks all sweetly confused makes Eddie think that Dustin was definitely lying about having permission to play here, and also that Dustin probably has a very troubling stash of keys to all their homes squirreled away somewhere.

“If I may, Lady Sinclair, I’d like to humbly suggest a ten-minute break?” Eddie says, before Steve can decide whether or not to be mad about this whole thing.

“Sure, go ahead and rest up while you still can,” says Erica. “Steve, I hope you got good snacks around here.” She makes a beeline for the kitchen, and the boys trip over themselves to follow her.

“I would die for that child,” says Eddie.

Steve laughs, low and a little tired. “Yeah. Um, me too.”

“So, I’m gonna go ahead and guess that Henderson didn’t actually clear this with you?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure.” Steve runs a hand through his hair. “He might’ve said something last week? Sometimes when he’s on a tear, I just kinda let him talk.”

“Y’know, we’re at a pretty good stopping point for today, if you want us to clear out so you can get some rest.” Eddie can see the smudgy shadows under Steve’s eyes from halfway across the room.

“No, it’s fine.” Steve peels off his vest. He’s wearing an entire perfectly normal shirt underneath, so there’s no reason for Eddie to hastily avert his eyes like Steve’s doing a damn striptease. “I might go take a nap, though. Gonna trust you not to let them burn down the place, got it?”

Eddie does a silly little salute. “Aye aye, cap’n. No hint of flame shall breach these walls.”

Steve laughs again, a gravelly chuckle, and musses Eddie’s hair on his way to the stairs.

“Why do you have that dumb look on your face,” says Erica suspiciously, standing in the kitchen doorway and clutching the biggest bowl of ice cream Eddie’s seen in his life.

“What look, there’s no look,” says Eddie. “Let’s play some GURPS.”

Edit: now a complete fic on AO3!

#steddie #(barely)#yep it's a new one folks!!#I do not promise that this will have any continuation whatsoever #I've just loved the idea of Erica running a MLP GURPS campaign for ages #and thought it'd be fun to write something up since a lot of my current WIPs don't really involve the kids at all #and also I wanted to write something with waaaay lower stakes than the hanahaki AU #sometimes I am like 'maybe I should space these out to have a consistent flow of content and a buffer' but uhhhh no. that's not happening.#fic: what will today's adventure be

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kamii-2 · 6 months

Text

the outsiders headcannons

warnings: cussing

just some random headcannons bc why not

=•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•=

when soda was in school he would turn his math homework in with tear stains on it 😭

two bits first job would be at mcdonalds or some kind fast food restaurant

johnny hates birds

darry and dally argue like a married couple

johnny is extremely sassy and cannot hide his emotions for shit

ponyboy has accidentally knocked steve out with a frying pan before

steve and soda cuddle all the time and when people catch them they say it’s not gay bc they’re wearing sock

darry’s workboots smell like actual ass

pony cries every time johnny doesn’t cuddle or kiss him

dally ate ass before

they all call eachother fags, twinks, and other mean things to gay people

two-bit doesn’t know how to spell at all

whenever people yell at dally he just sits there and blinks

=•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•==•=

sorry that this is so short but i felt bad about not posting for a couple of days so here’s this 😜 hope you have a good day/night, love you all 💋💋

#the outsiders #darry curtis #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #dally winston #sodapop curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #headcannons

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fuckinthewholetown · 27 days

Text

Fallingforyou - Matty Healy Chapter One

I’m kind of shitting myself posting this but, it is what it is. If you think it’s shit, feel free to tell me, but please be nice or I will cry. I’ve also only skimmed over this so if there’s any typos, please tell me so I can fix this.

Tags: Slight angst, swearing, mentions of religion, gay, probably bad writing

Word Count: 2309

As much as you love touring, you’re the first person to admit it can get repetitive. Wake up in a random hotel room, get to the venue, sound check, perform, and repeat.

However, today is different. Today you’re performing a sold out show at Wembley Stadium to 90,000 people. This is the day you’ve dreamt about since you were five, giving one woman performances to your parents in your living room. And the cherry on top is you get to do it with four of your best mates.

Your day starts off as normal, doing your skincare routine in a hotel bathroom in the heart of London. You’re living the dream. That is until you hear a knock at your door. As you’re walking over to answer it, you pull your hair out of the makeshift pony tail it was in previously. Before you could fully open the door, it barges open and your guitarist and best friend Maddie O’Connell storms into the room.

“We need to talk.” She says, pacing back and forth.

“Ok, calm down. There’s absolutely no reason to be this stressed. Take a crystal.” You say, pulling some green agate out of your bra. You’re met with no response, just a deadpan stare. “Noted, not in a crystals mood. What’s up, this is the best day of our careers, it must be something big to get you this stressed.”

“You have to look me in the eye and promise that you’re not going to freak out” She says, sitting down on a seat in the corner of the room.

“I promise. Unless you’re shagging Matty Healy or Harry Styles, then I revoke that promise”

“Not exactly… It’s Ross” She says, refusing to look you in the eye. You stay silent, internally freaking out but refusing to break the promise you made to her. She takes this as you not understanding what she’s on about “Ross Macdonald… The bassist of the”

“Yes, I know who you’re on about!” You say, cutting her off before she can say anything else and send you into even more of a mental breakdown. You stand up, now it’s your turn to pace the room. “You’re fucking the bassist of my favourite band and you just conveniently don’t tell me until 5 hours before the biggest show of our careers? I love you to death, but you need to get better timing babes”

“I know,” she says, still refusing to make eye contact with you, “and we’re not fucking. Well, we are but it’s more than that. I like him, and I think he likes me.”

“How long?”

“Six months…”

“Six months!” This information is enough to stop you in your tracks, “you’ve been shagging the human equivalent of Jesus for 6 months and you forgot to mention it!”

“I’m sorry! I knew you’d freak out because you’re a big fan and I wanted to make sure it was serious before I got your hopes up. However, I’ve kinda been forced into telling you.”

You sit back down, confused over her last statement. “What do you mean forced into telling me? If one of the girls is secretly a bitch and forcing you into this, we can become a group of four. I’m a big boy, I can sing and play an instrument at the same time.” That half joke is enough to make her finally make eye contact with you.

“It’s nothing like that, the girls don’t know yet you’re the first person I told. I’ve been forced into telling you because they’re coming tonight, all four of them are watching the show.” And that statement is the straw that broke the camels back, you’re officially freaking out.

“What? They’re watching us tonight? All four of them are watching us? Oh god, I have to look Matty Healy in the eyes knowing I’ve read the dirtiest tumblr fanfiction about him. I read one of him as a priest, oh god I’m going to hell!” You say, putting your head into your hands. Maddie on the other hand does not see the seriousness of this situation and bursts out laughing.

“Him as a priest? Didn’t strike you as the religious type.” A chuckle escapes your lips as you finally return the eye contact.

“I went to an all girls catholic school actually, I love Jesus.”

“You came out of that school with minor alcoholism and even more gay than you were when you went in, I think Jesus would be disappointed.” She quips back. You laugh, standing back up from your slight mental breakdown.

“I’m happy for you, I really am. When are they getting here?”

“Just before sound check.”

“Before sound check?” You respond, falling back into your mental breakdown. “That’s in less than an hour. I’m meeting my celebrity crush and your new fuck buddy in less than an hour? Get the fuck out, I need to do a full face in 20 minutes!”

You all but push her out the hotel room, scrambling to get ready for the biggest moment of your life.

After somehow managing to do your hair, makeup, and put on a hot ass outfit in under an hour, you walked into the green room at Wembley Stadium. What met your eyes was what could best be described as a sight out of 16 year olds you’s wet dream. All four members of The 1975 sat around the table, gossiping about who knows what. As you walk in, the room goes silent. Luckily, your bandmates are there to quell the awkwardness. The pianist of your band, Sienna Turner is the first to speak.

“Boys,” She says, standing up and dragging you by the forearm into the circle, “this is Y/N!” You were expecting to be met with blank stares, but instead the boys jump up to greet you, tackling you into bear hugs. It’s a warm welcome off everyone. Well, mostly everyone. The man you’ve loved since you were a teenager stays sat in the corner of the room, closed off and refusing to even acknowledge your existence. You figure it’s probably just him being an introvert, so you go over to introduce yourself personally.

“Hey.” You say, hoping for any kind of response. You don’t get one. No acknowledgement, no hey back, not even a snarky comment, he just ignores you. This is not how you imagined this day would go.

“Damn,” you follow up, “I knew you’re an Aries, but I didn’t think you’d act so much like one.” You let out a slight chuckle. He, on the other hand, does not find this so funny.

“Good God.” He responds, rolling his eyes and taking another sip of his drink.

He hates you. The man you’ve been enamored by for almost 10 years despises you. The only possible explanation is he’s seen your private TikTok reposts of endless thirst traps of himself. Nevertheless, you had a show to do. And if there’s on thing you can do despite external feelings, it’s fucking shit up on stage. You nail sound check, sounding better than you ever have. Probably a mix of adrenaline and frustration over the fact that your childhood crush seemingly hates you for absolutely no reason.

You exit stage after sound check, immediately going back to the green room to get ready for the actual show. As you’re getting your makeup and hair done, conversation flows. You and your friends are talking to the boys as if you’ve been friends for years and you didn’t just meet them an hour ago.

“So, Y/N. You’re into like crystals and shit aren’t you? What’s that like, I don’t really get it.” George says, turning all eyes on you.

“It’s not for everyone, but I find comfort in manifestation and things like that. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think incense will cure cancer but keeping rose quartz in my bra definitely isn’t going to hinder my love life.” You laugh, trying to keep your response brief.

“Bullshit.” Comes from the corner of the room. The first words you’ve heard from Matty since your brief conversation earlier in the day. The room falls silent and you feel a red hue cover your face. The longer the silence, the thicker the tension in the air. You clear your throat, trying to restrain yourself from going over to him and giving him a black eye.

“Like I said, it isn’t for everyone. I was cleansing my room once and my mum thought I was smoking weed. When I told her what I was doing, I think she’d have preferred if I was doing drugs.” Everyone starts laughing and the room erupts into conversation again as if nothing happened. Every so often, you catch a glimpse of Matty in the corner of your eye. He never seems to move, his phone in one hand and a beer in the other. As you zone out of the conversation, your mind moves to deciphering why on Earth he could hate you so much. Nothing comes to mind, you’ve never met him before and you’ve definitely said nothing bad about him publically. Quite the opposite in fact, as last year a drunk video of you singing Robbers went viral on TikTok.

You zoned out for so long, before you knew it it was time to go on stage and perform the biggest show of your life.

“Ok girlies!” Ava Fletcher, the drummer in your band and also the member you’ve known the longest, speaks up. “This is it. No pressure but there’s 90 thousand people out there who’ve come specifically to watch us, so if we put on a shit performance our careers are probably over. But absolutely no pressure, just have a good show.” You laugh, leaning into the group hug you do before every show however this one felt different. The sense of adrenaline and fear within the group was unlike anything before. There was a lot riding on this show, and if you fucked it up a lot of people would be disappointed. However, all of these feelings are washed away when you’re wrapped into a hug by George.

“Blow their fucking minds out their.” He whispers into your ear. All feelings of nervousness are washed away when you realise you’re being hugged by the drummer of your favourite band. You go around, being given motivational speeches by every member of the band. Well, almost every member other than, you guessed it, Matty. He encouraged every member of your band except you, walking off before you could get to him.

The beginning of every show is always the worst. Hearing the roaring crowds increases your heart rate tenfold, but the stakes are even higher for this show. With one last group hug, you put your in ears in and run on stage, ready to start the show. As the show goes on, you occasionally glance side of stage to where the boys are standing. Everytime you make eye contact with them, they give you an encouraging smile or thumbs up. Matty on the other hand continues to evade eye contact, choosing to watch a different member of the band. However that didn’t stop you from putting on one hell of a show, and that’s what you did. You blew the metaphorical roof of that stadium, it was arguably the best show you ever did. The adrenaline high you had once you ran off stage couldn’t be ruined, even by a moody former celebrity crush.

The moment you exit stage, you’re immediately crushed by a massive group hug involving your band and the boys. Despite all of this, the only thing you can focus on is the hand around your waist. It’s Matty. You don’t think he meant it, instinctively putting it there when he was dragged into the hug. Nonetheless the area he was holding felt like it was burning under his touch, his calloused hands leaving marks on the skin underneath them. The group hug is cut short when he pulls away, clearing his throat slightly and going back to cradling his drink.

You do the rounds, talking to everyone backstage and discussing the nuances of the show and how amazing the audience were. This repetitive conversation continues until you get back around to him. You expect to be met with no eye contact, maybe an eye roll if you were lucky, but what happens next surprises you.

“You did alright out there, Princess.” The confusion on your face is palpable, at both the nickname and his sudden talkative nature. “Princess, like Princess Kida from The Lost City of Atlantis. It’s funny because,” you cut him off.

“Our band name is Lost Atlantis, yeah I get it. It’s funny.” You respond, a dead pan expression on your face. The tension was obvious, you could cut it with a knife. That is until Moon Dixon, your bassist, comes up behind you and wraps you in a hug.

“We’re all going back to Maddie's place to have a few drinks, you joining us?” She says, mostly to you but including Matty in the conversation as well.

“Yeah, let me get into something less sweaty and gross first though.” You laugh, trying to hide your disappointment as he walks off to join the rest of his band.

Get over yourself, you thought to yourself as you walked back up to your dressing room. Just because Mattys a dick doesn’t take away from the fact that this is the best day of your life. You just performed your biggest show ever, and three out of the four members are lovely. But despite this, you can’t get the curly haired man out of your mind. You see him every time you blink. How have you gone from badass pop girlie to pathetic simp in the space of three hours?

Chapter Two

#matty healy #ross macdonald #george daniel #adam hann #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfiction #Matty Healy fanfic #matty healy x reader

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2knightt · 11 months

Note

Hii! Idk if you’ve gotten this req before, but can you do the gang with an artist s/o? Thanks:)

↳10-4, no switichin’ sides!₊˚✧

—IN WHICH, the gang dates an artist s/o!

Johnny Cade ;

he loves watching you draw omfg.

he thinks your process is so cool!!!

tries to draw with you, but he gives up in the end and draws stick figures instead.

“what’re you drawin—oh.”

“i gave up, okay? don’t judge, y/n.”

if you draw him i think he’ll actually explode.

“whatchu drawin’ this time?”

“you.”

“what.”

he’s legit gonna be blushing so hard.

“re-really? can i see?”

“yeah.”

if you have a sketch book and theres pages full of him he might pass out.

he will pass out.

he’s just so flattered you’d draw him out of all people!

he doesn’t get it.

but, he loves your hobby so much and if you want to do it as a job one day, he’ll support you 110%.

Dallas Winston ;

doesn’t understand why you like art.

no matter how much you explain it to him, it’s like everything goes in one ear and out the other.

“plus, the finished product is always something gorgeous.”

“…i can do that if i take a picture, y/n.”

“yeah but, you don’t get that sense of pride.”

“i get that sense of pride when i beat the tar outta a kid. that pride don’t mean nothin’ to me.”

“…okay.”

if you draw him or he catches you drawing him, he’ll tease you so bad.

like actually, good luck bru.

“ouu, someones head over heels, huh?”

“a ‘good job,’ would also be nice, dal.”

“yeah, yeah. good job, sugar.”

if anyone else teases you about it? he’s onto them. they ain’t safe.

if you tell him like, anyone said anything bad about your art, he will go to jail for the 50th time.

he’s ready to go to jail for you, do not play with dallas.

if you want to make art your job, he still won’t get it, but he’ll let you because it makes you happy.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

when he finds out you’re an artist, he’s over the moon!

he’s so happy someone else can share his hobby :)!!

if you draw him something he likes, he’d probably hang it up in his room.

“i remember you saying that tiger lilies were your favourite flower, so, i drew it for you.”

“wow, y/n! this is really good!”

if you draw him, he will tear up.

he’s just so flattered you’d waste your talent on a guy with his looks.

“look, pony. i drew you! thought you looked real pretty in that lighting.”

“y/n…you didn’t have too.”

“but i wanted too! wai-wait are you crying?!”

“i’m jus—so happy.”

if you ask him for help, he will not sugarcoat shit. so, if you aren’t ready to hear the hard truth, i wouldn’t recommend asking him for help.

he will support you fully, no matter if you want art to be your life long passion or not.

Sodapop Curtis ;

thinks you’re the best artist out there, no joke.

he thinks you’re Picasso or something.

will not stop bragging about you.

literally, it’s all he talks about.

“dude, my partner does such good paintings. they’re beautiful!”

“i know, soda. it’s all you talk about.”

“so?”

if you draw him, he will show everybody.

“oh my glory, y/n! this is amazing!! i gotta show steve!”

“wai-wait, soda! it’s not finished!”

another one that will beat the shit out of anyone that bad mouths your art.

he isn’t afraid to sock someone in the mouth.

especially since it’s for you!

soda really wouldn’t understand if you wanted to art full time but he will be your #1 fan!

Darry Curtis ;

also..doesn’t get art..but he tries!

he thinks you doing art is fine but, why?

he’ll support you 110% you just, gotta explain to him.

“and also, because i just, love seeing the outcome after weeks or months of hardwork!”

“oh, makes sense.”

if you draw him something, he’ll fold it up and put it in his wallet.

he looks at it when he has free time at work and just smiles.

if you draw him, he might MIGHT just smile, teeth n all in front of the gang.

“this is, stunning, y/n.”

“yo, what the fuck?”

“holy shit, they made darry smile.”

“dude, go tell him your gay he’s in a good mood.”

“I’M NOT GAY, STEVE FUCK OFF!”

Steve Randle ;

he is obsessed with your works, oh my lord.

he will not stop looking at them if you give him one.

“wow.”

“is, is it good?”

“it’s wonderful!”

similar to his best friend, he also doesn’t shut up about you.

literally.

“and then they painted this cat and dog, and it’s so pretty.”

“you told me this, steve.”

“did i?”

he will not hesitate to throw hands in your name.

“ew.”

“what d’ya mean, ‘ew?’”

“i mean, ew. it’s just so ug—“

knocked out, on the floor.

Two-bit Matthews ;

he is so proud of you.

‘so proud,’ is an understatement, though.

he loves any and all of your artwork.

if he finds something from when you were 5, he’d still love it.

“i love the colours in this!”

“i made that in like 1st grade, two. what?”

“oh. it’s still super good!”

“did you just compare my work to a 1st graders?”

“…i ain’t mean it like that.”

another one who is willing to go to jail for you.

he will knock out a bitch for you.

he can, and he will.

if you draw him like mickey or something, he’ll love it forever.

“here. i know you like mickey mouse, so.”

“AHHH—this is amazing, y/n!!!”

he’s fangirling.

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #johnny cade x reader #johnny x reader #dallas winston x reader #dallas x reader #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #sodapop x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #two bit x reader #two bit matthews x reader #steve randle x reader #darry curtis x reader

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ask-shane · 24 days

Note

will you be the applejack to my rainbowdash?

you talking about those gay ponies…?

i don’t actually know if they’re gay. i’ve just heard a thing or two online.

#ask-shane 🐓#SAID COMPLETELY LOVINGLY #LETS GO LESBIANS #applejack #rainbow dash #stardew valley #stardew shane

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filmfanaticsblog · 8 months

Text

The Greasers dating HCs

Darry Curtis

• Will talk about the most random shit ever with you

• Any money that isn’t to the gang or himself goes to fancy dates and gifts for you

• Very protective (but makes sure you have enough space and don’t feel trapped)

• Gives you massages when you’re stressed / sore

• Always rants about soda and pony and about how proud he is of them

Sodapop Curtis

• Brings you chocolate cake and coke everytime he goes over to your house

• Braids your hair when he’s bored (you taught him)

• He immediately does anything you ask the moment you ask him

• Constantly hugs you from behind

• Steve is always third-wheeling you (although it feels like you’re third-wheeling them cuz they act so gay)

Ponyboy Curtis

• Got dressed up all nice first time he met your parents

• Reads to you so you can fall asleep

• Regularly takes you to the diner to share a milkshake

• Kisses your cheek ALL. THE. TIME.

• Hums Elvis songs to put you to sleep

Johnny Cade

• He was so shy and nervous the first time you guys met

• Falls asleep in the lot with you

• Lets Ponyboy third-wheel you guys (again, you feel like the third wheel because they’re also so gay)

• Makes bracelets with you

• Kisses the back of your hands

Dallas Winston

• Kind of an asshole tbh

• Has a soft spot for you

• Is NEVER the one to say “sorry” first in an argument even if he’s wrong and knows it

• Isn’t into PDA, but is very sweet and affectionate behind closed doors when he feels like it

• Acts like he hates it when you play with his hair (he actually loves the way it feels)

Two-Bit Matthews

• You’re the only one who’s aloud to call him “Keith”

• Steals things for you

• Holds your hand under tables (goals)

• Secretly likes the beatles

• Is nothing but sweet to you

Steve Randle

• Shows you off to the gang

• Always supportive of everything you do

• Kisses you whenever and wherever he wants to

• Lets Soda third-wheel your dates (AGAIN, seems like you’re the third-wheel blah blah already said it twice)

• Holds you by your waist when you hug

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incorrectcreepypastafam · 3 months

Text

Creepypasta As DanAndPhilGAMES Quotes After The Revival

Toby: I’ve graduated into fuckland

Jeff: just stop speaking

Toby: okay

Toby: soft launching the gay

Jeff: I’m gonna hard launch you out of that window

Liu: know what I mean?

Jeff: no

Jeff: is it hard for you to speak sometimes

Lyra: did that work

Jeff: not really

Lyra: I tried really hard

Jeff: what is the most emo clothing we got here

Jeff: my brother, WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

Lyra: look at this magnificent bitch

Brian: communities that shit together stay together

Jeff: I will try to be normal

Tim: where’s your mind at

Toby: where’s your mom at

Toby: and now I’m wet in this suit

Lyra: uhhhhhhhhhh

Lyra: you pissed?

Toby: I’m gonna stop breathing

Jeff: thank you, Toby, that’s a good volunteer

Ben: maybe they got struck by lightning

Jeff: where was the lightning bitch

Ben: I’m gonna haunt every generation of your family

Tim: should we take it in turns with the swinging?

Tim: that’s what someone’s mom said last night

Game: it’s been a long day

Liu, to Jeff: me sitting next to you

Brian: I’m grabbing my boobs

Sally: is it an alien or Squidward? What are we being chased by?

Sally: it’s hard for me to tell

Liu: THATS THE SHADOW OF THE ROSE ITS NOT A DEMON

Jeff: if that baby comes out I’m gonna kill you

Toby: I’d like that

Toby: you know what they say about big feet

Lyra: what

Toby: big socks

Lyra: okay

Jeff: half an hour montage of Tobias Rogers attempting to learn how to put on a cape

Toby: can you help

Jeff: no

Toby: and then I just saw some lightning happening in the microwave and thought “what a beautiful night for a thunderstorm”

Sally: I don’t do drugs I don’t know what grams are

Lyra: im hot I don’t know how to count

Jeff: maybe I am heaven

Sally, pointing at plastic spiders: that’s Ben. That’s Ben 2. That’s Ben 3

Liu: I’m gonna give us a solid 7/10 on that one

Jeff: just a seven? Are you fucking kidding me

Liu: I was being humble

Jeff: fuck humble

Jeff: do you ever reflect on our lives and just think… stop

Liu: yeah all the time

Tim: I wanna fuck the Eiffel tower

Jeff: dead people in France

Liu: STOP IT

Ben: im gonna hit you with a meteor

Sally: im gonna microwave you

Toby: can I just show you something

Jeff: is it a dead person in France

Jeff: im in my cougar era. Watch out twinks, Jeff is on the prowl

Lyra: I wanna do things to this house

Liu, through his teeth: what do you want to do to the house, Lyra?

Liu, through his teeth: respect the house, Lyra

Jeff: what happens when you tap the emo dragon

Liu: you want me to tap it?

Jeff: yeah

Liu: *taps dragon*

*g note plays*

Jeff: that’s damn right

Ben: I do not think playing this game is how Christ would want us to start his season but here we are

Jeff: but Santa would and so would his brother, Satan

Ben: okay

Jeff: I don’t own any sex toys that go chomp chomp

Jeff: but nice to know that you do

Jeff: I’d say Jesus Christ but I know he’s not listening right now

Toby: five strokes and you’re done

Jeff: that’s what they call me. Five strokes Jeffy

Jeff: who’s they? What am I saying?

*trying to figure out what lmb stands for*

Jeff: lobotomy maybe bestie

Toby: look mate… BITCH

Jeff: it’s making you more intelligent that’s why you’re winning at golf

Jeff: we finally found a way to fix you

Sally: you’re banned from friendship

Ben: this is a safe space

*literally five minutes later*

Ben: point at the guy who doesn’t know how to crouch

Lyra: I would like you all to tell me how I can be better at this game

Ben: um don’t walk down hole

Lyra: okay

*playing Lethal Company*

Jeff: Ben’s not here let’s have a party

Ben: please get back on the ship or I’ll be leaving without you

Jeff: we thought we found a wheel. It was a mine

Jeff: they’re both fucking dead as fuck

Ben, laughing: good job

Jeff: Tim, you’re a top bunk kinda guy right?

Tim: that’s not what Tumblr says

Jeff: is that brown Grimace

Jeff: what the fuck am I looking at

Toby: I’ve never watched an episode of My Little Pony

Jeff: no because you’re normal

Game: who invented the lightning rod

Sally: me

Lyra: what’s the opposite of tears

Jeff:

Jeff: piss

Jeff: and the moral of the story is

Jeff: fuck books

Jeff: get paper cuts

Liu: no

Jeff: what

Liu: stop

Jeff: oh I missed this completely

Liu: is there some kind of grimy wall from your childhood we need to talk about

Jeff: it’s you bitch

Lyra: I put up flyers for car washing. I washed someone’s car and then they said I scratched it with my rings. Why was an eight year old wearing rings?

Jeff: did they try to scam an eight year old?

Lyra: YES

Jeff: you should’ve killed them

Brian: I would give birth to a child on this

Tim: yes

Brian: I would eat the child straight off it

Tim: no

Liu: let’s just grab an apple and try our best

Toby: hey Siri what’s 25+6

Ben:

Ben: girl-

Ben: 31

Toby: 29

*playing Poppy Playtime*

Jeff, to a toy oven: come with me, Owen

Liu: Owen needs to stay where he is

Jeff: I will love you, Owen

Jeff: I don’t like to contribute I just like to judge

Liu: but, Jeff, what is a VPN?

Jeff: virtual private gnome

Liu: gnome begins with a g

Jeff: :0

Sally: everything is just too heavy

Sally: even milk like

Sally: why are you heavy

Lyra: honestly liquid needs to calm down

Lyra: you know what we say about

superstitions

Liu: that they’re not real?

Lyra:

Lyra: do you wanna fight

Toby: just like Sonic The Hedgehog we’re going speed dating

Toby: … as he was known to do

Ben: what

Toby: what fictional characters could we see here

Toby: what are you expecting

Lyra: I’m expecting an anime boy

Lyra: I don’t know who else

Toby: Bill Clinton

Lyra: okay

Toby: he’s real

Jeff: I don’t care if Mozart did this when he was five he’s a nerd

Liu, about baboons: they only live up to 30 years in the wild and 45 years in captivity

Jeff: oh my god you’ve only got a couple years left

Ben: life comes at you fast and so does Trombone Champ

Tim: unleash the babussy

Jeff: did you just g note me with a fucking trombone

Jeff: last time I lost my voice. I’m loud as fuck today you’re gonna wish I had

Lyra: they ate

Liu: okay

Jeff: I was 26 doing that on YouTube

Jeff: fuck yeah good for me

Jeff: did you know that we are celebrities

Toby: celebritenis

Jeff: we are vips

Toby: vipenis

Jeff: we are influenc-

Jeff: *vomit noise*

Jeff: what did you just say

Toby: vipenis

Jeff:

Sally: when I did 23andme it said I was 8% lobster and I think we all know why

Brian: I think I looked snatched

Toby: *dies laughing*

Brian: did I use that right

Jeff: look it’s hard being this pretty

Lyra, reading the question: if they were having a party, what would they serve

Jeff: cunt

Jeff: sorry

Toby: I mean anything could’ve slipped onto something

Jeff: what

Toby: I don’t know what I mean

Jeff: oh god

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