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yet-another-fan-girl9 · 4 years

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Inhuman (3)

Summary: All beings in the universe have a soulmate except for Midgardians. People can hear their soulmate in their heads. For almost five hundred and fifty years, Loki believed that he had no soulmate until 1513 when a Midgardian princess was born. Will fate be kind to them or will the universe tear them apart?

Warnings: violence, language, hella historical inaccuracies (I tried to do research but then got lazy), maybe some AOS season 2 spoilers(?)

Word Count: ~3800

A/N: My HS German teacher would be so disappointed to discover I used Google Translate. I also actually researched WWII med kits for this.

[New York, New York, March 2024]

You sat at your kitchen counter and admired the ruby ring on your finger. Max had gotten half of what he had pillaged from Anderson’s home, you had even let him have first choice. He also got a third of the million dollars you had earned for the death of Morano. You had also given Izzy one fourth of the million for her troubles.

“What’s next?” Max asked from your couch.

“Nothing.” You stood up and joined your friend on the couches.

“Bitch, what are you saying?” He raised an eyebrow at you. Today’s theme was gold. When he had walked into your apartment, he held up one manicured nail as a warning before you could say anything. “We just had a great haul and you wanna stop before we really get the ball rolling?”

“The Avengers got involved,” you pointed out. “I am not dealing with them.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“They’re heroes set on ridding the world of evil and we literally fucking kill people for a living.”

“Uh-huh. Are you sure you’re not just avoiding someone?” Max laughed.

“I’m sure,” you said with a glare but Max only laughed harder. “What I’m avoiding— Max, shut up. What I’m fucking avoiding is being thrown in jail or even death. You just want to be caught so that you can shoot your shot with a supersoldier.”

“Or the God of Thunder.” He gasped and looked at you with wide eyes. “What if we could be in-laws!” You rolled your eyes and suppressed a smirk. “Hmm. Imagine being dicked down by a god. Well, I doubt you have to imagine.”

“Shut.” You picked up a pillow. “The.” You smacked Max. “Fuck.” Smack! “Up.” Smack!

“How was it? Tell me everything.” He escaped to the loveseat and composed himself.

“Get your fuckin’ head out of the gutter, Max. It was back in the 1500s and I was a princess and princesses don’t just go around getting ‘dicked down’ as you so nicely put it.”

“Damn, sometimes I forget that you were literally the Queen of fucking England.” He cocked his head. “Are you sure you don’t want to see Loki again? From what you told me it sounded like you really loved him and he loved you.”

“I-I never said it, though.” It was true. You loved Loki. You still love Loki. Did he love you too? You were soulmates and you were made for each other, but it had been four hundred and eight-six shitty years since he had last seen you. “Not to mention the awkward situation of having to explain why I’m still alive.”

“Um, that’s easy,” Max said. “It’s just, ‘Oh, Loki,’” he mimicked your voice. “‘It’s me, (Y/N), the one and only love of your life. Surprise! I’m still alive.’”

“That’s not how I sound.” But you couldn’t hide your grin.

“‘I am an Inhuman whose power is to look pretty and live forever.’”

“Your power is very obviously not mimicry.”

“See? Easy,” Max smirked. “I give you full permission to plagiarize my speech.”

“Nuh uh. It’s not plagiarism if I pay you to write my speeches.”

“Honey, what speeches are you making?”

Before you could respond, your phone started ringing. Hardly anyone called you. Could it be the Avengers? It couldn’t be, no matter how good Stark’s AI was. Max was also giving your phone a strange look. Your curiosity got the best of you and you answered.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)? Oh, my god. Listen I know you said only to call if it’s an emergency, but it’s an emergency,” the person on the other side spoke quickly.

“Wait, wait. Arthur, is that you?” Arthur was your man up in Michigan with the ability to generate light.

“Yes, it’s Arthur. I’m calling because the Avengers showed up at my last job. I barely managed to get a picture and get out. I might have blinded the Scarlet Witch!”

“She’ll be okay. Hey, man. How about you lay low for a while. Spread the word for others to do the same.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ll do that.”

“Stay safe, Arthur,” you parted.

“What happened?” Max asked.

You told him everything. “We have a technokeniser nearby, don't we?”

🌹

You looked at yourself in the mirror, the night time New York skyline twinkling behind you. You wore nothing but your undergarments, but your black stealth suit was waiting for you on your bed. Your skin was smooth and unblemished thanks to your accelerated cell healing. Everything was perfect except for the single, one-inch scar directly above your left knee.

Apparently, vibranium was your weakness. It didn’t bother you because everyone had to have a weakness. Thankfully, it was a rare metal on Earth. Your cells repaired themselves slowly like a normal human when it came to injuries dealt with vibranium. You had learned that the hard way.

[Austria 1944]

You were in central Austria for two weeks while things back in New York calmed down. It turned out that the man you had strangled three days ago was a low ranking member of the local mafia. Because the man wasn’t that important, they would, hopefully, move on quickly and you could safely resume your contract killings.

It was a beautiful place, with many trees that were changing with the season and beautiful lush mountains. Just a few days after you had arrived, Captain America and the Howling Commandos rolled into town. People cheered and it almost felt like a parade.

You had heard of them of course, going around Europe dismantling the Nazi organization called Hydra. You walked through town, dress swishing around your calves and hair pinned in the latest style. You looked like the stereotypical rich American girl. Your favorite heels clicked along the cobblestone road as you windowshopped.

“Guten Tag Fräulein,” a young man winked at you as he leaned against a wall. “Du siehst wunderschön aus, aber du würdest noch besser aussehen wenn—”

His words stopped when your fist slammed into his face, your ring cutting his cheek. You were not in the fucking mood to be catcalled today. You were never in the mood to be catcalled.

“Du verdienst das,” another male voice said behind you.

You turned around and your eyes widened when you saw one of the Howling Commandos standing there. More specifically, James Buchanan Barnes, Captain America’s best friend from Brooklyn.

“Bist du in Ord-Ordnung?” he stumbled over the word.

“I didn’t know you could speak German,” you smirked and continued your stroll through town. “Not the best at it, though.”

“Oh, you’re American!” He fell into step next to you. From the twenty-some years you had lived in New York growing your business, you had lost your accent.

“I suppose,” you said vaguely.

“We kinda need to know some German if we’re going to be intercepting Nazi communications,” he explained and rubbed the back of his head. “They usually don’t ask if everyone’s alright, so I don’t really know the phrase.”

“Bist du in Ordnung?”

“Bist du in Ordung?” he tried and you chuckled.

“Ord-nung,” you drew out the syllables.

“Ordnung.”

“Bist du in Ordnung?”

“That’s better,” you smiled. “You’ll be sweeping girls off their feet with your German in no time Sergent.”

“This may be a bit forward,” he said slowly and you raised your eyebrows. “But… Do you want to see the shield? Considering you’re American and all that. Girls always want to see Captain America’s shield.”

“Bold of you to assume I’m like them.” You brought a finger up to your chin and pretended to think. “But my answer is yes. I would like to see the shield.”

He grinned and led you to the edge of the forest. You held nothing against forests, but they always reminded you of Loki. They reminded you of the days long ago when he actually was there for you. When he cared about you. When you hesitated before going under the cover of trees, Barnes gave you a strange look.

“Just a bit suspicious,” you lied. “Leadin’ a sweet little dame like me into a mysterious forest mere minutes after you met me?”

“Based on what I saw back there, you can handle yourself. If anythin’, I’m worried ‘bout myself. The rest of the Commandos are within shouting distance so don’t you try anything,” he said with a laugh.

You joined in and you two walked deeper into the forest. Sure enough, the sounds of boisterous laughter and cheers reached your ears. Captain America and the Howling Commandos sat around a small clearing. When you said ‘small clearing’ you meant small. Like a circle with a three-meter radius small.

“Who do you have there, Buck?” a tall blond asked. It took you a moment to realize that he was Captain America. You almost didn’t recognize him without his helmet.

“Fellas, this is… Do I know your name?” The Howling Commandos lived up to their names and began to howl with laughter.

“You can call me (Y/N),” you laughed. “James saw me punch a guy and invited me to check out Captain America’s shield.”

“What’s a nice American dame doin’ all the way in Austria?” a man with a prominent mustache asked. Dum Dum Dougan.

“Hiding.”

“So you wanted to see the shield?” Jim Morita asked.

“That would be nice.” A look passed around the group. “I’m not going to steal it,” you scoffed. “Even if that was my intention, I’m wearing heels.” Another look went around.

“Be careful,” the Captain handed the red, white, and blue shield to you. “Buck, can I talk to you?” He and Barnes walked away and with your enhanced hearing, you briefly heard, “-can’t just bring over any dame…”

You smirked and examined the shield. Vibranium, the metal was called. It was strange how light it actually was. Once you finished, you looked up at the remaining Commandos who were staring at you.

“Do you know any tricks?”

Gabe Jones eagerly raised his hand and you passed him the shield. The other men quickly scrambled away. Jones threw the shield like a frisbee and it rebounded off of a tree with surprising speed, the dark-skinned man barely caught it.

“That was pretty good, eh?” he asked the group.

“Au moins, cela n'a touché personne cette fois,�� Jacques Dernier spoke in quick French. At least you didn’t hit anyone this time. Jones groaned and you hid your smirk.

“I have a trick,” James Montgomery Falsworth said.

He took the shield from Jones and everyone took another step backward. Falsworth noticed this and rolled his eyes. He roughly threw the shield in the air with a flick of his wrist that gave it a spin. You guessed he wanted it to bounce back to him, but the shield hit a rock and veered off course.

Instead of returning to Falsworth’s hand, it flew at you. The vibranium hit your left leg above your knee through your dress. How sharp was the shield because it actually cut your leg. You could already see some blood seep into the dress.

“Oh fuck! I mean gosh darn it!” Dougan cried and helped you stay on your feet.

“I didn’t— I’m so sorry,” Falsworth stuttered in his British accent. “Are you okay?”

If only he knew that he had hit one of his former Queens. The thought made you laugh through the stinging pain in your leg. You shifted your weight onto your right leg.

“I’m fine,” you said in between short bursts of giggles. It wasn’t that funny. Anyways, the wound would heal soon.

“What happened?” Captain America and Barnes returned to the group.

“Uh—”

“Er—”

“Um—”

“The shield hit my leg,” you said and motioned to the small bit of blood on your dress. “I’m fine though.”

“We were only gone for two minutes.” The Captain looked at the Commandos.

“They just wanted to show off for a pretty dame,” Barnes winked at you.

“I told you guys to be careful,” the Captain sighed. “Come with me, ma’am, and I can help you clean up.”

Small wounds like these would usually be healed by now so you were about to tell him that you can handle it yourself but you could still feel the sting of the cut. You nodded and accepted his invitation. You walked over to him and he put an arm around you to help you support your weight.

He brought you to a house on the edge of the forest. Rows of cots covered the ground. A table with a map stood in the back. Men’s clothes and trinkets laid around the room. The Captain led you to one cot and pulled out a small first aid kit from underneath.

You rolled your skirt up just until the wound was visible. It was about two and a half centimeters long, but it was a bit deeper than you expected. The Captain pulled out a small tin box that read ‘Iodine Swabs.’ He removed one of the swabs and began to clean around your wound.

“I don’t know how this could have happened,” he said. You realized he was trying to avoid touching you.

“You can touch me. I don’t mind.” He nodded and the process went faster. “And don’t worry about the shield.”

“It shouldn’t be able to cut skin like this.” He moved onto the hydrogen peroxide and dampened a cotton pad with the solution.

“It was spinning. Maybe that had something to do with it?” Another question, a more important question was why weren’t you healed yet?

“Maybe.” Then he began to profusely apologize when you hissed the moment the hydrogen peroxide touched your wound. “Sorry, ma’am.”

“It’s alright, Captain,” you laugh lightly. “And just call me (Y/N).”

“Alright, (Y/N).” He wrapped your injury and gave you a kind smile. “Then you can call me Steve.”

“First name basis with Captain America, huh?”

🌹

Your phone read 2:47 as your silver Porsche 911 rolled to a silent stop with its headlights off. The Avengers compound was about a mile up the road. Liam, with his technokinesis, managed to get you this close, but now you had to leave the safety of the car. You crept through the woods, Max and Liam close behind you.

Liam just wore black jeans and a black leather jacket. He also had a black bandana around his head, again, courtesy of Max. Max also wore a similar leather jacket and bandana as well as black leather pants and a cape. He had shown you his Captain America shirt underneath the jacket, you know, ‘just in case.’ You were in a fucking normal skintight stealth suit.

“What if we get lost?” Liam whispered.

“We won’t,” you said. There was a force pulling you in the right direction. You could feel the familiar aura Loki’s presence grow stronger as you neared the compound. Your heart was racing, but it wasn’t because of the current mission. Could he feel you too?

Fifteen minutes later, the Avengers compound came into view. Fortunately, Liam didn’t need a computer to do his work. Stark was so fucking tech savvy that all Liam needed was to get inside. He didn’t need any help to do that either, easily disabling the electronic locks. Honestly, you and Max were just there for protection. Max took watch outside while you stayed with Liam inside.

“You know what to do?” you asked and kept your eyes fixed on the dark hallway.

“Yeah,” he placed his hand on the wall and closed his eyes. Glowing blue lines that resembled a circuit board grew from his hand. “First delete everything they have on us. Then, if there’s time, scramble everything else.”

“How long is it going to take?”

“Not too long. Maybe ten to fifteen minutes?”

This was the closest you’ve been to Loki since 2012. Maybe the closest you’ve been to him since 1538. What was he doing right now? Was he sleeping? Would your presence wake him up? If you could just…

“Where are you going?” Liam’s words shook you out of your head.

Where were you going? To your soulmate, probably. You were five feet away from where you stood before your mind was consumed by the thought of Loki.

The distraction had consequences when Max’s shout of surprise made you look back just in time to see your friend doge a blast from Iron Man. A small sound from the end of the hall caused you to whirl back around. You ducked, barely missing being decapitated by Captain America’s shield and you knew you wouldn’t heal from that.

“Fuck.” You pulled out a gun as the shield returned to its owner. “How much time do you need?” You fired twice down the hall and saw two sets of sparks where the bullets met the vibranium shield. Your eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness and saw your opponent.

“Just give me two minutes.”

Liam opened his eyes and clenched his fist at the flying billionaire outside. The Iron Man suit’s eyes dimmed and it fell to the ground. That left Max to deal with the Black Widow who was doing well on Max’s ice-like surface.

You went to meet the Captain in the dim hallway. You landed a quick hit on him before he could react. Instead of raising his shield, he pushed it into your chest, shoving you back. He moved forward and you dodged his punch. You went to punch Steve’s head again and this time he raised his shield. When he did, you used your other hand to punch him in the stomach. Hard. He bent over slightly and you took the opportunity to sweep his feet out from under him. You noticed something…

Shit, was Loki getting closer? You could feel the link grow stronger.

Steve used his shield to sweep your feet out from under you this time. You landed on your back which knocked the breath out of you. To recover, you took a deep breath while Steve pinned you to the ground. He was about to hit your face but you managed to catch his fist. Using his momentum, you forced his fist down to the side of your face, throwing him off balance. You flipped him over and now you were on top.

“Ma’am, we can work this out,” he said. Captain America, always the diplomat.

“I thought we were on a first name basis, Steve,” you smirked and you could pinpoint the moment realization set in. Using his distracted state, you grabbed his shield and slammed it into the side of his head, effectively knocking him out.

“We’re good to go,” Liam called. Just in time because Loki was definitely coming.

You stood up and took an involuntary step in the wrong direction. In the direction Loki was. Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck. Come on, (Y/N). Go the other way. Finally, your body listened to you and you ran out the doors.

“You deleted the security footage of tonight too, right?” you asked Liam as you ran.

“Yes, I got that too.”

Max saw the two of you and joined you, leaving the Black Widow on the unnaturally smooth grass. You passed the Iron Man suit that was laying on its back. Wait, was the Stark asshole still in there? Yes, you could hear faint complaining coming from the suit.

You felt the ground under you change to feel springier like a track, no doubt Max’s doing. The three of you made it back to the car within seven minutes, all of you out of breath with you less so than the two men.

You started your car and sped down the road. Max and Liam collapsed in the back.

“Man, that was awesome what you did to Iron Man,” Max laughed.

“Nah, you were great against the Black Widow. Not everyone gets away with just a black eye and cut lip.”

“And bruised ribs and missing a cape.”

The two men laughed in the backseat as the adrenaline wore off but your tight grip on the steering wheel didn’t relax until the feeling of Loki was gone.

🌹

Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Thor, and Brunnhilde were immediately called to the conference rooms when they returned from Michigan. Steve quickly found Bucky by the hanger. The metal armed supersoldier noticed that his blond friend was in uniform and had a couple faint bruises on his face.

“What the fuck happ—”

“Do you remember being in Austria in 1944?” Steve cut him off.

“Those were pretty busy years, pal. We were all over the fuckin’ place.”

“Do you remember a girl? You said she punched some Austrian guy in the face for catcalling her. You brought her to meet the Commandos and Falsworth hit her with my shield? Her name was (Y/N).”

“Um, yeah, I think I remember. She taught me some German.” Bucky raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Why are you askin’?”

“She was here and it was like she hadn’t aged a day,” Steve said and gauged his friend’s reaction. “She was actually the one to…” he gestured at his bruised face.

“So what actually happened?” They walked into the conference room.

“Short story?” Tony asked. A blind man would have been able to tell that the billionaire was furious. “Three fucking people broke into the fucking compound and fucking deleted the files I had created for the fucking white rose assassins case.” He slammed his fist on the table each time he swore.

“What do we have?” Sam asked. “‘Cause we got nothin’ from Michigan.”

“Yeah.” Wanda put her head on the table. “Just blinded.”

“Three people,” Steve repeated. “Two men and one woman, all enhanced. against me, Nat, and Tony. Clint is still benched.”

“Where were you, brother?” Thor looked at Loki.

“I was distracted about something else,” he stated

Loki thought about what had happened during the attack. He had sensed her. But that was impossible, wasn’t it? Something had been trying to pull him somewhere. When he finally gave in, the feeling had led him to find an unconscious Captain and Stark trapped in his own suit. The tugging had faded then and the attackers were nowhere to be found.

“The woman,” Steve continued. “I think she was the same one from the cafe.”

“She has to be at the head of this thing,” Nat said.

Loki had thought the woman in the video had reminded him of (Y/N).

“I met her before.” Everyone looked at Steve.

“We both did,” Bucky added. “In Austria back during the war.”

“And she hasn’t aged a day. She referenced something she said when we met. I know it was her. I never forget anything.”

The God of Mischief’s heart missed a beat. Was it possible for the woman to be older than they thought? All signs were pointing at (Y/N). The woman’s familiarity. The strange tugging. The long life.

“What does this mean?” Clint asked.

“We don’t know.”

Tags: @kaithehero @liliannyah @andreasworlsboring101 @oatballsoffury @aberrant-annie @simplybree @adalina-perez @emage-king @yandereforyou @notactiveonmain @tvdplusriverdale

#marvel #mcu #loki x reader #loki x soulmate reader #loki #loki odinson #ocs #inhuman #steve rogers #bucky barnes #captain america #winter soldier #iron man #tony stark #black widow #natasha romanoff

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imagine-loki · 4 years

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The Slutty Webs one Weaves

Title : The Slutty Webs one Weaves

Chapter NO. 5 of 10?

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki’s Asgardian wife learns women write fanfiction about him on a trip to Midgard. She’s edgy for the duration and lets him have it when they get back.

Author: lokilover9

Rating: M

Thor agreed Brianna going to Asgard a good idea as Loki presumed and shielded her from Heimdall's sight as a precautionary measure. Before leaving, the brother's sat observing Little Warrior lead Tony and Pepper to the couch and hand him a usb stick.

"What's this?" He asked.

"A computer virus. My revenge plan was to disembowel Jarvis if you hadn't kept your promise."

Stark eyed Loki who shrugged a shoulder. "Don't look at me. I only learned of it this morning."

"It's my creation, pretty nasty and should be destroyed." Said Brianna.

"How nasty?"

"It bears the potential to wipe out most of New York's power grids."

Tony was momentarily speechless. "I'll do that and am overjoyed you two became friends."

"Me too and sorry for being so rude when you touched my stuff."

"It's alright." Said Pepper.

"No it wasn't. You deserve to know why. Loki mentioned the homeless people right?"

"Yes."

"Dory was the first one I met. Taught me handy street smarts and helped shop for my boy clothes. Ran away from home because her moms boyfriend was a jerk. I encouraged her to call one day and when she learned they split up, convinced her to go home. Really smart person. Dreams of becoming an Astronaut. Anyway, she had a big crush on Captain America and gave me her favorite hat as a gift. Then I met Muriel. A mean looking older lady who was actually super sweet and protected me something fierce. Beat this guy up one night for trying to steal my blanket while cursing him sideways. She loved Chinese food and taught me self defence techniques, like how to poke a hole in someone's brain by shoving a chopstick up their nose."

Everyone's ears and attention piqued as Tony wondered if Muriel was a distant cousin of Sasquatch's. "Hopefully not on live subjects."

"No, silly. On a plastic skull she molded a face onto with clay. I paid for the supplies. Helping police identify people used to be her job in Arizona. Great way to kill zombies though. Best to behead them like with vampires and guarantee they've bit the bullet." Brianna then pulled a gold bracelet with a four leaf clover charm from her pocket. "Muriel was Irish and gave me this for good luck. It's too big so I carry it in my pocket. Before meeting you guys, they were the first people who were super nice to me. I fretted their gifts ruined in the wash."

"I'm sorry." Said Pepper.

"It's okay. I was just a little freaked."

'And nearly built a cave for the abominable snowman.' Thought Stark. "We were more worried about you after the fact."

"I could tell by your happy dance when I woke."

"Hey, badass did one too. In the hall. You didn't see."

Brianna giggled. "Thanks to you both for everything and I'm sorry for lying."

"Meh, we understand."

"I meant about not having a favorite Avenger. It's you uncle Cootyoodles. That's why I sought your help first. The Black Widow was my next stop."

Tony pictured Nat teaching her how to yank teeth out with pliers and felt twice as relieved for keeping that promise. "Nat's eccentric and hates zombies. I'm way more fun." Brianna suddenly hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. "Awe, Little Warrior. Friends forever?"

"Damn straight!" Then she did the same to Pepper. "I forgot to explain why you're a badass role model. Working so hard to become CEO of a massive company like Stark Industries and executing all that embodies? You rock! I hope to grow up as astute, diligent and athoritative. Maybe I'll run a company one day."

"You already possess those traits and will exceed my achievements."

No one knew that better than Loki who cleared his throat. "Grandmother and Grandfather go to bed early, Min Lille."

"One more minute, please?"

"Alright."

She studied Stark, pondering the best way to implement her request. "You don't have to do this, but… Not all homeless people are bad or crazy like others seem to believe. Many hit hard times and the world is so expensive, they couldn't keep up. No one I met lived on the streets because they wanted to. There just aren't enough shelters or resources available. You're rich Tony and could help them. Will you try?"

As Loki had succeeded with Frigga, those beautiful pleading eyes won her case. "You really know how to pull a guys heart strings, kid. I promise."

Loki wasn't aware she'd intended to ask this, yet was so proud of her. "Min Lille?"

"I know." She politely replied.

"You have to go." Tony suddenly stood and darted for the hall. "Be back in a jiffy."

"Meet him by the elevator, or you'll never leave." Suggested Pepper.

He returned and handed Loki a loaded Iron Man backpack. "More things? Shall I conjure a crate for the bifrost?"

They'd already given her an overstuffed suitcase of clothes and toys and Stark held a gift bag in hand. "Be quiet, you. It's a peanut butter stash. Does Asgard have bananas?"

"Yes." 'Thank the Norn's.'

Tony knelt before Brianna. "I would've packed some tater tots, but you ate them all again."

She smirked. "My goof."

"Rascal. Try to ignore a wee, bitty smidgen, you aren't into girly stuff? We couldn't help ourselves with you off to Asgard."

Brianna pulled from the bag a pink baseball cap that said Warrior Princess in tiny diamond gems and proudly adorned it. "You sure know how to pull a girls heart strings."

"I put some Motown CD's in there too. Teach Dad to moonwalk." Loki sighed, pushed the elevator button and Tony playfully whispered. "From a distance. In case he trips over his own big feet." He hugged her again and summoned Jarvis.

"Yes, sir?"

"Our friend is leaving."

"Goodbye, Little Warrior." Said the AI.

"Bye. Sending you a virtual hug."

She joined Thor inside while Loki shook hands with Tony, his expression saying everything. "Any time. Now get the 'bleep' out of my Tower before I thieve your Daughter."

Brianna shouted as it closed. "There's presents on your bed! I'll miss you!"

Peppers was a black t shirt with gold letters that read Badass Role Model and Tony's was a monsterous box filled with tater tots.

"Don't do it, Butch. If you cry, I'm gonna cry." ***** Loki had purposely slowed the elevator allowing her time to give Thor a drawing.

"Mjolnir in a field of flowers? Thank you fair maiden."

"It's a scratch n' sniff."

"A what?"

Loki picked up Brianna. "You scratch the flowers, then sniff them. The effect is most appealing the stronger you inhale."

Thor took a whiff and wriggled his nose. "Quite the nostril tickler. What should they smell like?"

"Try harder." 'Doofus.'

He took another, looked cross eyed at Loki and began swaying. "...Brother..you…" Then down he went striking the floor with a thud the tip of his nose covered in sparkly dust.

"Sorry, uncle Thor."

Loki chuckled at her wince. "The spell is mild and shall soon wear off."

"Is he hurt?"

Loki let her down to hurle the hefty Thor over his shoulder. "Us God's are resilient. Your uncle once endured a skirmish with the Hulk." After escorting them through a portal and delivering Brother oaf to his bed, he lead Brianna through a second into some woods.

"That was awesome! Will you teach me how to do it?"

"Not in the near future. It's very complicated, darling and I'd hate to think you lost in another dimension." 'Or vanishing one day as an angry teen with a troublesome suitor I dream of throttling.'

"Okay." Brianna nervously scanned the area. "Now what? Carnivores hunt these woods."

"Northern Alberta is home to many. Never go outside without me and none will harm you."

"But wolves hunt in packs and grizzlies are bigger than you."

He booped her little nose. "I'll smell them before they smell us and neither possess deadly weapons in interdimensional pockets."

"Where our luggage is? I tried hiding bigger items in them and the darn things wouldn't come back. Hannah was furious, but I didn't care."

"What did you hide?"

"The back wheels of her Lamborghini, Gallardo. I overheard my Mother tell Claudia she got it from her rich boyfriend."

Loki recalled from spending time with Stark this wasn't a billionaire's vehicle, yet financially unattainable to the average Midgardian. "I see. Did she mention his occupation?"

"Plastic surgeon."

Brianna deserved that minor victory and although he wouldn't encourage it, one cannot preach vengeance a negative path when mapping their own. 'Perhaps he'll be useful to the sluts after I'm done.' "Ah. Care to see what I did while you slept last night?"

"You left me?" She confusedly asked.

He picked her up again. "It was necessary and I returned, yes? I won't abandon you, Og Min Lille."

"Never?"

"Never, darling. "Loki headed for a shack nearby nestled amidst some bushes. With its crooked roof, faded wood and door minus a hinge the structure looked ready to collapse.

"We're staying there?"

"Why not? I'll conjure an outdoor toilet." He teased. "Sheltered of course."

"Ewww."

"Come now. At night we'll have heated beds and during the day, roast squirrels on an open fire."

She scrunched her face in disgust. "Blech! I'd rather eat tree bark."

"You'll get an awful tummy ache."

They entered the dingy space and Brianna instantly focused on the filthy floor covered in forest debris. So intently, she didn't notice the sturdier frames of the structure only visible from within. "How will we keep the door closed and is that poop?"

Loki rolled his eyes at some turds in a corner. "The cabin is made of Brazilian Ebony."

"One of the strongest woods on earth." She commented.

He arched an intrugued brow. "Stained to appear aged, it's also bulletproof in light of human hunters. Consider the other materials deceiving movie props. The 'raccoon' poop is genuine." It vanished with a wave of his hand. "Now, did you mean that door?" It closed and he conjured a deadbolt onto the surface with a panel directly above. "Place your hand in the center?" Brianna did and it glowed green, spreading magic from the center throughout every surface like glowing, emerald fireflies. As they dimmed, Loki turned around. "Or this one?" The floor, suddenly cleared of debris had a sliding glass door in the center.

Brianna gasped in wonder, glancing between him and the mystery beneath. "Where does it go?"

"Did you think a sorcerer Prince would allow his Princess daughter to dwell in a shabby old shack?"

"Ancestry aside, I sincerely hoped not. Even an RV would've been better."

He chuckled at her frankness. "And you worried of uncle Thor bumping his head? The shacks purpose was added safety should a need arise and to keep our secret entrance hidden. "Once the outer door locks, only the interior alters. To outsiders, nothing changes." It opened and he carried her down a mutedly lit spiral staircase, each step progressively illuminating the space below.

At the bottom, she slid from his arm in awe. "Shut the front door! You 'definitely' have to teach me how to do this."

Min Lille was referencing conjuring. Another ability Loki thanked the Norns she didn't yet possess, having confessed so before requesting Tony and Pepper's gifts. "In time. Beyond that archway, another surprise awaits." Loki followed and suddenly pondered Brianna conjuring a future dwelling for herself and that troublesome suitor. 'Lessons commence when your forty.' ***** Thor woke to find two notes in his shirt pocket. One for himself the other, Astrid; 'Sleep well, Brother? We won't be returning to Asgard just yet. Please give this to my wife? I recommend waiting several days, discreet delivery and a hasty exit. A visit will follow and when interrogated, lie. Tell her Brianna came to you and don't mention her ice concoction. Unless you enjoy Father's company when several fries short of a happy meal. As I planned our escape without Tony's knowledge, do avoid his unnecessary panic and Pepper seeking our demise, by not telling our dear friend? Min Lille is safe.'

"That shyster." He grumbled. Jane returned in six days as would Astrid to a missing Loki. Waiting risked a molotov cocktail interrogation. His beloved and coronary inducing sister-in-law, banging down their locked bathroom door while the mighty Thor coward behind a shower curtain. Plus Maxi Waxis training schedule ended in two days. Bribery assured those lips zippered, but Heimdall would think his hastiness suspicious. He called to the trainee in the middle of the night, snuck into the palace and raced back to the observatory like the looney tunes road runner. "Spend it well nincompoo..eh he, Max. Asgard is lucky to have you."

Guilt ridden over her outburst and already missing Loki, Astrid returned in the morning to find the note.

Frigga was preparing to join her belly dancing instructor when she barged into the foyer and flung herself at the Allmother.

"Bwaaahahaa! I want a divorce!"

"Hells bells and bilgesnipe testicles. What has my shameless son done this time?"

"Frigga, your language." Scolded Odin.

She patted Astrid's back. "Oh shush. As if your cursing hasn't scarred the servants ears."

#Loki #others #submission #Submitted fic #The Slutty Webs one Weaves #lokilover9 #chapter 5

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porchstew · 6 years

Text

Robots Can Do Your Job, and Do It Better

Jacob sat down in his plush, red chair and picked up the magazine that lay atop the pine coffee table to his left. He began to read the first article featured: “How A.I. Will Impact Your Job” while absent-mindedly reaching his left hand to feel for his coffee cup.

The paragraph began:

If you believe that work will fulfill your passions and desires, consider whether a robot could do your job. Is it comforting to imagine your complex human emotions and needs being sated by work that a non-sentient robot could also handle? If so, there’s a chance you are already depressive.

Just as Jacob’s fingertips had begun to fondle the coffee mug, he shuddered while reading this sentence and knocked the mug and its contents to the ground. It crept across the near-new, carefully curated, hand-woven and auburn carpet. Coffee flowed in between the stitching.

Jacob and his wife Janice had spent nearly two months finding the right carpet, near obsessing over color, design, organic fabric, and fair trade labor certification until settling on the one now in their living room.

He stared in horror. Not at the carpet, but at the magazine article. He continued to read fervently.

Humans no longer need to work. Yet they do. The desire to is a vestige in human circuitry, a remnant of evolution that was hardwired millennia ago. Those who survived were the ones who could move. And so one moved.

Survival instincts led to sexual desire. Survival instincts led to a desire to work. Movement sparked evolutionary redundancy in which to move would stimulate endorphins.

The relationship between survival, sex, and work was one-directional until humans developed emotions, which made these relationships, for the first time, bi-directional. Sex was no longer for survival alone. Humans added meaning to a primal act. Work was no longer about movement to survive, it became a means of exercising our passions.

Humans are a unique species in that they always search for meaning in actions. Mammals, machines, and mites do not share this need. They act on impulse without question.

Jacob shifted in his seat, breathed deeply, and continued reading. The coffee had begun to stain the carpet. He paid it no mind. The end of the article held the biggest surprise of all.

While this article may seem human, it was actually produced by a machine. New algorithms, developed by the MIT Research Lab, allowed us to upload thousands of my articles and interviews for for analysis by a new kind of AI.

My writing was analyzed and internalized over the course of one week. Afterward, we gave it a writing prompt: “Near-sentient computing and its effect on the workforce.”

A mere two hours later, the article you now read had been produced. The writing was only slightly modified to add a touch of imperfection.

When Jacob had finished reading, he remained sitting for nearly an hour, deep in contemplation.

Visions of machines performing surgery appeared in his mind. Demented surgeons with mechanical talons wielding surgical tools, operating in an empty building.

He imagined schooling being replaced by virtual reality teachers and classrooms. Children would learn at home with a simulated school experience viewed via headset. Real life interaction with peers and superiors would be artfully controlled in a zero-risk environment.

Companies would analyze consumer behavior with AI to ideate products of the future. Human ingenuity would cease. Everything would be distilled to raw analysis and pure calculation.

He foresaw sleeping humans traveling in self driving vehicles to jobs that no longer required their services. They would merely be there to ensure the machines were operating without error. That is, until, they could self repair.

Human companies would fail because they would no longer be necessary. Passion would no longer fuel business. Identities would have to be forged outside of work. Leaving one’s home would become an optional endeavor.

Jacob rose and walked to the kitchen to get a sponge and seltzer. He lumbered back to the living room and began scrubbing the carpet. He was not actively aware of his body. He was only his thoughts.

He heard movement by the front door. Janice entered carrying some groceries while chatting on her cell phone.

Hi(!), she mimed with wide eyes to Jacob in between conversation.

As a defendant, every bit of information I can have is helpful, she said. Where did Peter grow up, what were his interests, what was his income, who were his friends, what was his favorite food, where did he go out. Everything. You never know what detail might provide the angle we need to help out your son. Thanks for your time Mrs. Arterson, we’ll chat soon.

She hung up the phone and eyed Jacob cleaning up the carpet.

Oh no, she cried. Her eyes were wide with real emotion this time. What happened? And on our new carpet. My god. Seltzer. We need seltzer.

I’ve got it, said Jacob. Not to worry. New client you were chatting with?

Yes, said Janice. Mrs. Arterson’s son Peter, who’s thirty years old, was recently charged with theft and destruction of private property. Confidential property at that. He broke into a previous place of employment, stealing several hard drives and smashing an entire office full of computers into the ground with a fireman axe.

Sounds like he was trying to conceal something, said Jacob.

Maybe, she said. But it’s not my business to know in this case. The less I know about true motive, the better. I need to assume innocence and use any tools at my disposal to help him.

What company was he stealing from, said Jacob.

It was a Research Lab, actually. Based in MIT, she said.

Jacob stopped scrubbing. MIT, he said. Did you read that article? He pointed to the magazine, now opened flat against the lounge chair, as if it were cursed and not to be touched. His finger shook slightly while in the air.

#robotboss #artificial intelligence #scifi #fiction

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bffhreprise · 7 years

Text

Entry 187

“Aren’t you going to take it apart?” asked Portentia, looking as if she was ready to rip the giant, metal fist apart with her bare hands to see what was inside.

“Eventually, sure.” I assured her. “I’m going to have Mila scan it first for explosives, tracking devices, et cetera. Don’t want to risk breaking anything, and a tracking device might be useful if there is one.”

“Aren’t you worried about her tracking it here?” asked James.

I nearly sighed, but instead said, “Ha. You’re joking, right?” He, of all people, should realize that we take jobs from all sorts of clients. Explaining away the hand would be easy if Maxine came peacefully and somehow managed to find her way down here. As I looked between him and Portentia, they obviously weren’t thinking things through, so I told them “Imagine what Alma would do if Maxine tried to start something here. Besides, the estate’s defense system is absolutely incredible from the little I’ve seen, and no signal’s getting out of here in any case.”

James pulled out his phone and looked at it. Then he turned it to me and said, “I think elevators block signals better, Jarod.”

He had full bars? “Oh. Mila’s probably relaying it as she does for mine.” I told him, realizing she probably did that automatically for him.

“No, I’m not.” she replied. “In fact, I can’t even find a signal coming from his phone. The princess must have installed some technology I don’t understand in it.”

I smirked, turned back to James, and asked “You say an elevator blocked your reception?”

He nodded, saying, “Yeah. When Portentia, Alma, and I got stuck in that elevator at convention.”

I barked a laugh before telling him “I have the strangest feeling that Aaliyah chose to ignore you for some reason.”

James looked shocked at first, but his expression quickly changed to consideration.

“Maybe we should take a look at your phone instead.” I suggested.

“But… but the fist!” exclaimed Portentia, sounding exasperated. “Who knows what we can get out of it! You might be able to find some weakness in her suit or find some way to hack it. You’re the tech master!”

I felt for her as she was practically pleading, but I couldn’t help rolling my eyes before explaining “More than likely, I’ll just see the finger mechanisms and possibly a weapon of some sort. I really doubt she conveniently placed something in the fist to reveal her secrets. However, being able to transmit a signal that can penetrate this garage could have many uses.”

Seeing Portentia’s disappointment saddened me, but there was nothing I could do about the truth.

“Master, I don’t recommend examining your phone too closely. The princess is superb at keeping her secrets, and she keeps them very well.” insisted Mila.

“Yeah, she’s right.” I agreed. “I really wish Aaliyah would share more of her tech, but I can’t really complain to her when she does so much for us already. Oh well. So what’s this job you’ve hired me for?”

“I missed part of that. What job?” asked Portentia.

James looked between Portentia and I before turning to her and saying, “I’ve hired Jarod for the next few hours. Sorry, but there are a few things we need to do.”

“Oh. Okay.” stated Portentia glumly. “Promise to tell me what you find when you get around to examining the fist?” she asked, looking into my eyes.

I nodded and vowed “I promise. I’ll even give you the details if you want.”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head as she said, “Yeah. As if that ever does any good.” Turning to James, she told him “Be sure to hire me next time. You know I’m a great listener!”

He laughed and said, “I never doubt that you’re paying attention. Sorry for stealing Jarod away. I’ll try to make it up to you soon.”

Grinning and grabbing his hands, she told him “It’s a date!” Then she spun around inhumanly fast and skipped to the lift.

“I’d call that another win for Portentia today.” I stated, watching her head up the lift. “Tired of your endless string of girls yet?”

“Asks the guy who seems to be playing with the twins.” he retorted.

“I’m not playing with them. We’re going to start dating.” I admitted.

“Which one?” he asked.

“Don’t know. Can’t tell them apart.” I replied.

James’ look of disbelief was incredibly amusing. Surely he figured out that the twins were telepathic by now. Didn’t he? Well, they were more than telepathic. They shared each other’s feelings. When I had nearly stopped the heart of one, the other felt it as if it were her own heart. The two weren’t physically conjoined, but they certainly were mentally.

James was just staring at me for a while. He eventually asked “That doesn’t bother you at all?”

“Should it?” I teased.

“Jarod! They’re two different girls! You know you’ll have to figure out which is which and pick one to date, right? As close as they are, there’s no way they’d want to share you.” he claimed.

He really didn’t know. I shrugged and said, “I offered to implant chips into their arms, but they refused. Not my fault if they don’t want me to know who I’m speaking to at any given moment. Relax. Breathe. If things get serious, I’m sure Ai will figure something out without forgetting Mai feelings.” I did my best to emphasize their names as a joke, but he still seemed worried.

“Okay.” he replied. “Just be careful. I don’t want any of you getting hurt over this, and you know those two can really hurt.”

“Did they tell you I managed to make Ai’s heart skip a beat the first time we sparred?” I asked.

“As I recall, you nearly killed her by stopping her heart.” he stated quite seriously.

“Yeah, but her heart still skipped a beat.” I replied with a shrug. If I hadn’t come that close to killing her, our relationship probably wouldn’t have progressed at all. The twins were significantly beyond humans, and I needed to be their equal, despite my humanity, to warrant attention.

James seemed to be considering what I said all too seriously. What was eating at him now?

“So I’m sure you didn’t hire me to talk about my budding romance. What’s up?” I asked.

“Want to take me for a spin? I haven’t seen your Mustang in a while.” he suggested.

“Sure, but my boss makes me charge for gas.” I teased.

“Well, you’re a best friend for hire, not for free. Losing money on a job would be silly.” he replied, still serious.

“So would be charging gas money on an electric car.” I retorted. “You haven’t gotten a ride since I reworked the old girl.”

He followed as I started walking to the lift. I fought the urge to let him take the lead. I still didn’t understand why being in front of him always had bothered me, but it did. Everyone always looked to James, including me.

“Don’t expect too much.” I cautioned. “I don’t have Mila incorporated into the Mustang or any of the digital works you have. I honestly haven’t decided what all I want yet. Aaliyah provided me with a power source when I inquired about buying one. No charge even. That’s another problem with my first suit. I haven’t figured out a good way to power it yet. Got it running with a power line at the moment. I wish Portentia could have cut that out of Maxine’s monster. I was really tempted to stick the power source Aaliyah gave me in there, but Mila would probably rat me out.”

“Would not!” she exclaimed indignantly.

“Sorry, Mila!” I apologized. “We both know she’d find out somehow though.”

James laughed, finally loosening up again. I felt as if tension just left the air, like I had finally started breathing again without knowing I held my breath. I mean, I hadn’t been, but the feeling was similar.

James seemed to be appraising my baby as he walked around her. Then he hopped in her like he had hundreds of times before. We spent so many hours together working on this car, and I still sometimes felt shocked that James was my best friend. Everyone wanted to spend time with him, but he chose me for some reason.

I eased us back out of the garage as I considered where to go.

“Whoa. You didn’t shift. Did you disconnect the stick without removing it?” asked James, sounding shocked.

“Yes and no.” I replied. “You see, I cheated a bit on your Aston Martin. Mila handles the transition between gears to smooth things out. The torque from my engine is enough to seriously damage things if there’s any misalignment, so I felt more comfortable with an outrageous computer handling it. For this, I decided I really didn’t need as much top speed, although I gained some back from a lighter car, so there’s no shifting. The shifter now controls the noises the car emits through the speakers to simulate a combustion engine. Pretty sweet, huh?”

“Yeah. You’re amazing as ever.” he insisted. “Wow. Sorry that I didn’t help out at all.”

I grinned at his sincere apology. “Don’t sweat it. I know you’re busy. Besides, I have a great job, an awesome place to live, and some cool new friends thanks to you.” I explained. “Things are going great for both of us, so relax. You stress way too much.”

He nodded, but still seemed to be stressing out. What could possibly be tearing him up this badly?

#Best Friend For Hire Reprise #Best #Friend #For #Hire #Reprise #Jovial Times #Jovial #Times #Fantasy #Fiction #Story #Jarod #Mila #Portentia

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