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#they have to fuck on all levels except physical
flowercrowngods · 10 months
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*curls up like a cat on your dash*
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princeinsomniavoid · 7 months
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I can't even think right now man I've just curled up into a ball and It hurts
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stonerzelda · 18 days
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Has anybody here had an emotional hangover or a nervous breakdown or whatever the hell is happening to me today because i need advice. Badly 🥲
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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months
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i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.
#i never let them just have a nice relaxing time huh#even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up.#and no one around them will help out for silly reasons like ‘this is a bad coping mechanism’ and ‘having free will is important’ and#‘controlling someone’s mind is invasive’#except for this one asshole. and they don’t even like him.#i cannot emphasize enough how much the core of this timeline is that even and the master do not fucking like each other. at all.#but the thing is: time bubble.#even can’t reasonably expect to survive on their own. and the master gets his kicks out of watching one of the doctor’s companions get Worse#when circumstances force their hand. and also its helpful to have a spare to be able to throw into pits before you jump in yourself to see#how deep they are.#something even is aware of. and on some level finds easier than their relationship with the doctor. there’s security in knowing someone will#destroy you. in choosing them to do it. or at least telling yourself that you had a choice when you picked them.#<3 healthy and normal relationship.#i got off topic this was about hypnosis. anyway the point of that was that its one thing to give a guy your death and another to (willingly)#let him fuck around in your head. no matter how appealing it looks some days.#and let me tell you: even’s had some days.#endgame for even getting out of this. (if they do. i haven’t decided.) but the endgame is someone on the surface whose face the doctor knows#and someone underneath who is a complete stranger. both metaphorically and physically as in: that suicide pill tooth is probably not the#last thing they end up letting the master stick in their body. even is at the end of the day a constant struggle to be a person and not a#reaction to the people around them.#dw oc#and maybe in a nicer timeline they meets river song and find kinky applications for hallucinagenic lipstick. i could let them be happy.#i could. i wont! but i could.
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anotherpapercut · 8 months
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when I was a little kid people used to always say I was "4 going on 40". now I feel more like I'm 24 going on 84
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fellhellion · 8 months
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anyways hfdskhfkj analysis demon exorcised. miguel i think ur so beautiful fr <3
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punkbxt · 2 years
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the way voyager really was like “these people ended up on the complete other end of the galaxy and it took them seven years and going through hell and back to return home” the longing of your family and not knowing when or if youll ever be able to see them again because of all the just absolutely insane situations that youve had to endure in your life and youre only like 22 years old… longing for a home youll never really feel a part of even though it was your home and they raised you. knowing that even if you go back youll miss traveling and youll never really want to stay for good because you just dont fit in…
and then just the direct parallel of my own life and missing puerto rico and not been able to go back and see my family there for like seven years… im not an immigrant but god voyager really does rip the hearts right out of those of us who have been separated by our families and the hope and longing of being able to see them again someday knowing we’ll never be the same as we left them and they will never truly understand that
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mejomonster · 2 years
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Hey anyone, got long covid? Did it make u unable to use bathroom? Did u fix it, and how. Please let me know.
#rant#so uh. i asked this somewhere else and everyone is giving ibs c advice. which is fine but not what i need. ive had over a year#i have a gi doctor. i did Every ibs c thing you can do. except emdr cause i dont have time quite yet#the Only things that make me marginally able to use bathroom enough to reliably eat most days#instead of being so backed up and in pain im vomiting? 24 mg amitiza 2 g motegrity and 7-8 capfuls miralax (colon prep amount)#and wooh. i can maybe eat 1200 calories on a lucky day and use bathroom and not yave nausea or too much pain#on a real lucky day i can eat 2000 with moderate pain and maybe use bathroom#i am doing axcupuncture and physical therapy rn which bring some relief the days i do them#it makes me suspect its a vagus nerve issue or peristalisis gi tract issue#motility. not stool hardness (stool is soft ans fine my gi system just seem to refuse to move)#the ONLY case study i saw like me? the kid ended up in worse condition hospitalized. finally doctors gave him laxative regimen to keep him#able to eat. and he was on it nonstop until chinese accupuncture helped peristalisis resume#so. i sure fucking hope axcupuncture helps#but yeah dont tell me to drink water i drink 3 liters dont tell me flushes i DO colon prep level flushes every other day#dont tell me massage my abdomen i do it xonstantly it barely helps the pain and definitely doesnt help the rest#dont tell me mag citrate i take a TON it like all over the counter stuff doesnt work for me#prune juice works but i have to drink 2-4 large bottles a DAY to get it to help me use the bathroom#i am in ER within a week unable to eat withiut my meds#this is not ur garden variety take a capful of miralax or fiber a day and ur good. i fucking wish
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zipstick · 2 months
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when you want to learn how to act but the drama a level is only designed to teach you how to pass the exam
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worldblight · 3 months
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My gay ass wolf bullshit is acting up again
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sarishim · 5 months
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rudimentary tag drop, i'll add more as i think of them!
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— the man dressed in linen‚ who was standing above the river; visage. — hebrew nonsense (affectionate); ooc / jewish stuff. — always some kind of fucking temperature; ooc / misc. — how will you hear my words and pleas; ooc / psa. — the current hyperfixation; ooc / research. — adinah's ramblings; ooc / tbd. — my sword has been sharpened since the sixth day of creation; muse study. — i have stretched out my hand‚ and no one regards; psyche. — from endless lights‚ I come back to thee; dash games. — i was born to pave the way‚ to let the masses hear; prompts / memes. — i am the spark that sets the flame of truth alight; prompts / opens. — i am the prince of fire‚ i will perform a miracle within a miracle; musings. — through fire and water‚ i shall walk with thee; aesthetics. — i shall be with thee through good and bad; verse / main. — g-d grant me the serenity to know i had to do it to 'em; pinned / DNI. — on all levels except physical‚ i am hugging you / promos. — take my hand and let us walk for miles / playlist. — the golden wine follows through my veins‚ i know the holy words; threads. — thy empty words shall avail thee not; headcanons.
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nope-body · 6 months
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#so. I applied for AccessCo and didn’t get it. we’ve never had a physically disabled one#I am not the first physically disabled person to apply. and both of us are more than qualified#and I would really like to know why I didn’t get it. because one person on the committee has repeatedly praised my work ethic and how well I#do my current job as co-op level AccessCo#and tonight I was told an interesting piece of information#last year it was said that being physically disabled is a conflict of interest for the AccessCo position#which. if that’s what they’re operating under. IS SUPER FUCKING ILLEGAL#that is discrimination based on ability/disability because this is for a paid position and so that makes it SUPER FUCKING ILLEGAL HOLY SHIT#and I have an incredibly strong resume. I have all of the skills needed for this job#I know pretty much everything except the organization specific policy which I will learn. also I would read for fun#like. I am the perfect person for the job. and I got turned down#I want to know why. And I want to know the truth.#because in my current role I’m already getting people solely contacting me and not my co because#I fucking do my job!! and I do it well!! and I am doing work to compensate for my co because they’re useless#and people can tell! it’s as clear as day! why else would they only be emailing me?#I do a damn good job and I would be a damn good AccessCo but I’m disabled. and that’s a million strikes against me#I don’t have enough evidence to sue and I won’t find it because this org sucks at documentation but if I can find something. anything.#and just publicize it a bit. raise a little bit of hell.#because this org is already falling apart. they can’t afford for that to get out#so we get prepared to publicize it and then go talk to them and make it crystal fucking clear that this is not acceptable#and if they don’t listen then they get to deal with the fallout#because I am so fucking frustrated and tired of pouring so much work into this org only to be treated like trash
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haojun · 7 months
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The way my boss pissed me off 3 minutes into my workday.....
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omgthatdress · 3 months
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The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.
When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.
Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.
When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.
A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.
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I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.
In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:
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Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.
Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.
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They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.
Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.
Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.
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thebibliosphere · 5 months
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In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.
Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."
Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."
And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.
Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.
My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.
And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"
And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.
Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.
I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.
The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:
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ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.
(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)
And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."
And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.
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bonchobrick · 1 year
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Dead on Main au where Jason is of course Danny’s Fright Knight and like all knights do he has a weapon—except it’s his gun.
The batfam + justice league + everyone (except ghosts duh) don’t know that his normal average everyday gun is actually like a super powerful spiritual soul shooter that is, yaknow, capable of blasting someone into an alternate dimension where their greatest fears become real.
So imagine there’s like a big battle where a ghastly ghoul reigns terror on Gotham. The world sends their best hero’s—wizards and occultists are notably high highest in demand—to stop the ghost but, nothing works. All of the weapons and spells and chants fail.
But,
As the fights worsens and the heros scream for people to flee suddenly--
Loud squeaking footsteps echo across the ground. Jason yawns strolling into the battle zone in a ghostbusters t-shirt plaid pants bunny slippers--he strolls up in pajamas--as if annoyed at being woken up and cocks his fucking normal 'i could buy you at walmart' gun at the ghost.
His brothers screech at him yelling ”Are you insane” and to "get the hell out of here" in fear and panic because their idiot brother is trying to kill a real life ghost with a damn gun.
But then Jason shoots the ghost and it works.
The ghost fizzles down with a cry into just a little blob.
The young man then spends 30 minutes lecturing the spirit saying things like “you’re glad I’m not calling the big guy” and “you know our highness would not be happy learning what you’ve been doing” before taking out a thermos of all things and sucking the ghost into it.
Jason then sighs and walks away as if he hadn’t just defeated a hell raising ghost with a gun people can buy off a corner pawn store and a soup container.
Immediately the bat family swarms him with questions
Dick grabs him by his shoulders tense with worry, “Are you okay?”
“Um yeah—“ Jason tries to reply squirming in his hold
Damian cuts him off, “How the hell did your gun a physical weapon hurt that ghastly demonic spirit!”
“Uh that ghost is actually pretty chill you guys just pissed him off." Jason replies plain
They stare at him with a look saying 'you did not call a ghost that has been decimating gotham chill' probably because he did just that.
Tim is the first to break out of the disbelief stupor as he very inteligently says, "What?"
Jason responds easily with a confused quirk in his brow, "Second, my gun affects entities of all sorts, perks to my job and all that."
"How did being a vigilante and also probably crime boss give you a gun that could do that?" Dick asks
Jason sends him a look saying "are you an idiot" as he replies, "Yea, sure, kicking petty thieves and druggies got me my all powerful spirit weapon--No you dumbass, it's from being the bodyguard of the King of the Infinite Realms! How the hell did you guys not think of that!”
Tim breathes in, then breathes out, then breathes in again and screams, "Why the HELL WOULD WE THINK OF THAT JAY?!"
"The--" Batman, suddenly beside them, chokes, "Bodyguard of T-the what."
Jason blinks at his family then his eyes widen, "Oh shit."
"What?!" His family screech in panic
"Oh fuck," Jason says with a growing hysteric smile, "Danny's gonna have a big ol' fucking laugh with this."
"Brother who is Danny!" Damian demands for an answer
Jason coughs into his palm, "Oh yeah you guys really dont dont know. So I may have forgotten to explain some... things."
Bruce levels him with a stare that says "you think?"
Jason chuckles nervously, "So y'know how I'm half dead?"
pause
Damian very eloquently responds for the suddenly dying screaming combusting members of his family, "...sure."
"Well I met the King of the afterlife which is like the Ruler of Everything and he was really cute--" Jason says distant in his own world
"Theres a afterlife?" Superman asks casually appearing beside the emotionally wrecked family
"Yea its pretty cool. So I start flirting a bit with the guy and we hit it off, I now im his zombie ghost knight boyfriend lover for all time. Oh and i got this sickass gun." Jason says with a happy grin
"That is a pretty sick gun." John Constantine nods
"I know right?" Jason chirps
"You wouldn't mind if I inspected--" John reaches his hand
Jason slaps it away, "Not a chance you soul whore. Y'know your basically the tax evasionist of the Ghost Zone right?"
John only sighs and leaves
"But yea so I'm like the ghost world equivalent to married with the king and became his knight and thats how I was able to stop that ghost guy." Jason reiterates as if explaining a simple question, "Y'guys get that?"
Tim is on the ground trying to decide whether; sobbing hysterically, interogating jason to find out all the things he doesn't want to know or sleeping would be a better use of his time.
Dick has decided to blame himself and has started to draft a reddit post in the middle of the street starting with "I (23 m) have a younger brother (19 m), who I used to resent but really regret now, he died and came back and doesn't even tell me about what goes on in his life anymore. How do I fix our--"
Damian is just staring at the gun and... Jason pushes it deeper in his holster and shifts to the side, better to be safe than sorry with this thieving shit.
As Jason adjusts his weaponry he hears Bruce sob in the background, "He didn't even invite me to the wedding! Am I that horrible of a father!"
Wonder Woman pats his shoulder reasuringly whilst the rest of the League seem to be trying to calm him down
Jason looks around tiredly at the mess he had created and decides fuck it
"Alright I'm heading out for the night, you guys get home safe!" He yells and without caring to listen to anyone and everyone voicing their confusion he zips open a green portal and stumbles in
He crashes down on an unbelievably comfortable bed
Danny blinks blearily before sending the young man a sleepy smile, "Hey Jay, what kept you up so long?"
Jason slipping under the blankets with a yawn says, "You would not believe the night I just had."
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Edit: UMM HII The fic is out now here!! you guys are awesome I'll post the new chapter 2 in a hot sec after editting ^^
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