#batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

I feel like Bruce Wayne projects the kind of amiable playboy 'fun' vibe that he'd be the type of celebrity that certain interviewers feel comfortable surprising with puppies.

You know the kind of shows I mean.

The late-night talk show situations where they're making benign small talk with their smiling guest, and there's a segment where animals get brought out, usually to talk about some sort of ecological relief effort.

So you're watching your trash TV talk show late at night, and you get to watch billionaire pretty boy Bruce Wayne be begrudgingly talked into holding a (relatively) harmless creature which inevitably gets a lot of delighted shrieks from the audience as it starts being a lot more active than the handler promised. And to his credit, Bruce doesn't flinch, he doesn't freak out. But his eyes are a little wide, and his voice a little tight as the smile on his face takes on a slight rictus quality before he's inevitably rescued by an apologetic handler who is also laughing because they all know there was no real danger, it was just funny to put Bruce, who is an undeniable good sport and already laughing along, out of his comfort zone for the sake of charity.

Meanwhile, up in the Justice League headquarters, several founding members of the League are wondering how fast they can get a fake Oscar award shipped to the space station because fuck off. Absolutely fuck off, Bruce. Where the fuck did he study? Juilliard? (Probably.)

(Clark ends up going to a novelty store during the commercial break. It's faster than trying to get anything shipped, even with the infrastructure Bats built for them. He finds it several days later taped to his console in a conspicuously empty briefing room. It's gaudy and awful, the words "Best Actor" engraved on the plaque. No one's around to see him smile. No one comments when it vanishes. Everyone thinks it's been yeeted out an airlock. Dick absolutely comments when it shows up in the manor, stashed in one of the trophy cases that sprung up for all the bat kids' school awards. Bruce has no idea how it got there. Must have been Alfred. (It was not.))

Anyway, consider, for your amusement, Bruce Wayne getting highjacked on The Gotham Toight Show with a handful of wriggling puppies and, for a split second, not having to pretend he's delighted to be there.

#batman #bruce wayne #batman shitpost #batmuppet

[incorrectbatfam]

Okay I don’t know if I’m going insane but I vaguely remember a fic or a drabble where Miss Piggy and Bruce were married and she set the dogs on Kermit and I don’t know if it was you or someone else that made it but please for the love of everything please tell me you know what I’m talking about

I believe you're looking for this Bruce Wayne/Muppets threesome by @thebibliosphere

#bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc comics #batmuppet #dc fanfic #miss piggy #kermit the frog #the muppets #crossover #crack #fic finder

[iambatmuppet]

i'm somewhat new to (sharing my) writing but here's an excerpt from one of my newest wips!

CONTEXT: this is set in the Young Justice Comic (New Earth/Pre-52) universe, though RR’s costume is from the new 52 bc no cowl duh!! featuring BAMF Tim Drake AKA Red Robin, and also BAMF super sweet boyfriend Kon

-----

Red Robin stands alone, suit all but shredded and hanging off of him, surrounded by bodies. The grainy camera feed combined with the dim lighting of the cage isn’t enough to see the look on his face but the blood running in rivets down from his forehead is obvious; he doesn’t even flinch as it drips into his eyes, a peek of his tongue momentarily flicking some more of the red liquid from his lips.

Shit.

They all watch as his chest heaves, head bowed as blood streams onto the floor beneath him. Kon ignores the echoing sounds of the loud keycaps in favour of staring at Rob's face.

“Got another angle!” 

The view switches, focused on Tim’s side profile as he stares blankly ahead, lips pressed firmly together and jaw clenched. The blood on his forehead is seeping from a slash above his eyebrow, and more is coming from a broken nose and a split lip, although his nose has obviously been set so it must not be from this fight.

There’s a tinny noise in the background, like from a low-quality speaker, but even with his hearing it’s unintelligible. Through his mangled domino, Tim’s eyes harden as he looks up, glaring out into the crowd. His mouth starts moving, tendons in his neck flexing as if he’s yelling but Kon can’t hear anything outside of just a faint murmur.

“What’s with the sound?” Dick clacks away, murmuring to himself, but nothing comes of it. He relays that the BatComputer’s audio features are all fully functional, so the issue isn’t something to be resolved on their end. 

Kon wants to scream, to throw something, but he knows with his anger where it is right now, it isn’t safe to do anything surrounded by humans like he is, bat-clad heroes or not.

He pushes off the desk where he was hunched over a screen – watching pain flicker across Tim’s face before he closes himself off, eyes cold – and stalks across the room, bracing a hand on the wall, the cool stone distracting him from the current situation. 

He can’t help but attempt to listen in for Tim’s heartbeat again and again, but there’s nothing; no steady thumps, no flighty jumps in fear, nothing. It’s like the volume dial has been turned all the way down.

“Kon? You should see this.” 

He turns back towards the screens and freezes. Tim is flying across the ring, all spinning kicks and hard punches before he takes down his opponent with a sweeping throw – a move that Artemis was still trying to successfully replicate whenever they sparred at the Justice Cave – and launches him into the chain-link fencing that separates the fighters from the audience. 

He … Kon knew that Rob was an amazing fighter, deft and dexterous, all concussive kicks and fast jabs when faced with combat sans his trusty bō, but this … Kon had never seen him fight like this, like there was no one watching over his shoulder, in his ear, critiquing his every move. Like he was finally out of his own head and just letting go, trusting in his instincts; like it was as easy as breathing.

From the current angle spanning the ring, they sit silent as Tim creeps forward, keeping an eye on the man crumpled on the ground for movement, swiftly knocking him out with a hard punch to the nose when he stirs. He looks relaxed, casual as if he didn’t just dominate a fight against a man thrice his size but the tension in his jaw, straining the muscles in his neck and shoulders, speaks for itself.

Kon wishes his x-ray vision worked through cameras because the way Rob favours his right side, both torso and arm, means there’s obviously an underlying injury – one he can’t fully see, minus the select few showing through the tears in Tim’s suit. 

His previously-dislocated shoulder, only a month healed, must be acting up from however long he’s been forced to fight; he’s been missing for 4 days, not including the half-day where no one had realized he was even missing yet, and Kon can only guess how … busy they’ve kept him, based on the cuts and bruises in various stages of healing.

Let me know what you think!!! :D

#batman fanfiction #fanfic wip #timkon #tim drake #red robin #conner kent #superboy #batfam #the batmuppet strikes again #i love writing but its SO HARDDD #UGH #anyways #hope you enjoyed :))))

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Not-Incorrect Quotes, Christmas Edition

Victor: [knocking on Smiler's door with Alice] Smiler? Are you ready to go?

Smiler: [flings opens the door, sporting a bright yellow Santa hat, sparkly red and green eye makeup, a yellow sweater with purple snowflakes, and black pants featuring embroidered red and green light strings with real flashing lights in them] Hello, my lovelies! I bring the spirit of the season with me!

Alice: ...the spirit of the season is making my eyes bleed.

Smiler: That's an important Christmas tradition, let's go.

--

Victor: [enters Smiler's living room area to find them setting up a bright yellow Christmas tree] ...

Smiler: [looks over] What's up?

Victor: ...you really -- of course you do, why would I assume you'd have a green Christmas tree.

Smiler: Yeah, do I look like Thirteen? Now help me get this thing into the stand, it's being difficult.

--

Smiler: [arriving back at the trio's house post-everyone moving in together] Hey! I'm back!

Alice: [emerging from the kitchen to greet them] Welcome home -- Victor's currently making sure the gingerbread doesn't burn, but he'll be --

Alice: [pause, sniffs the air]

Alice: [knowingly] Ah. Peppermint latte season then?

Smiler: We had a special promotion so I'm probably going to smell like this until Easter, yeah.

--

Smiler: [noodling around on their drum set] Hey, you guys want to hear me play my special version of "Little Drummer Boy?"

Victor: Sure. [sits down on the couch]

Alice: [joining him] If you'd be so kind.

Smiler: My pleasure! [starts playing the familiar rhythm as they sing the song]

Victor & Alice: [listening attentively, smiling]

Smiler: [singing in time with their drum beats] ~I played my drum for Him pa-rum-pum-pum-pum; I played my best for Him, pa-rum-pum-pum~

Smiler: [segues into a solo that -- sounds rather different from the traditional pa-rum-pum-pum-pum beat]

Alice: [raises an eyebrow]

Victor: [looks confused -- and then something clicks, and he groans into his hands] Oh, you didn't...

Alice: ?

Victor: [singing along to the beat] ~Never gonna run around, and desert you~

Alice: [immediately whipping around to glare at Smiler]

Smiler: [big shit-eating grin] If Victor can make a classical piano version --

--

Emily: [coming into Galactica's living room, with Victoria, Victor, Alice, and Smiler in her wake] Hello all! We're here! We brought snacks!

Galactica: [getting up from the couch where she was sitting with Oblivion, Rita, and Thirteen] Hi! Thanks for coming!

Thirteen: [also getting up] Whatcha got?

Victoria: [proudly showing off a bunch of marshmallow snowmen with things like pretzel arms and licorice scarves] I found how to make them online -- aren't they cute?

Galactica: Awww, they're adorable.

Oblivion: Perfect -- we're doing Hallmark tonight.

Thirteen: [beaming] Yeah, I can't wait to get out the hot chocolate and drown Frosty.

Victoria: [stares at her with wide eyes]

Thirteen: What?

Victoria: [sternly, holding the tray protectively against herself] No.

Victor: [puzzled] Victoria, that was literally a serving suggestion on the site you found them on.

Victoria: No.

Alice: We brought them to be eaten. That was the whole point.

Victoria: I will fight you all to protect these snowmen.

Smiler: I love how you think that is a deterrent with my friends.

Rita: [cracking her knuckles with a grin] Yeah, bring it on.

--

[the trio are listening to "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" on the radio]

Smiler: Would you like to know a fun fact about this song?

Alice: Hit us.

Smiler: Okay, so, while the short itself is narrated by Boris Karloff, this song isn't sung by him -- instead it's sung by a guy named Thurl Ravenscroft.

Victor: ...Well, I don't think I can ever complain about my middle name again. Who names their child Thurl?

Smiler: That bit I don't know, but do you know what Thurl's most famous voice acting role is?

Alice: I do not, but I suspect it's something gothic.

Smiler: Nope -- Tony the Tiger. As in Frosted Flakes's Tony.

Alice: What.

Victor: Really??

Smiler: Yup! And, thanks to one of the most popular tumblr blogs commenting that it sounds like Tony's breakup song to The Grinch, and someone else then drawing that -- well, there's now a Tony/Grinch fandom.

Alice: [laughing] Oh my God.

Victor: [also laughing] This is why tumblr is the most bizarre place on the internet. How do you get a weirder ship than that?

Smiler: [beaming] Well, there's Batman -- as Bruce Wayne -- being the side piece of Miss Piggy and Kermit. Also found on tumblr!

Victor: [shaking his head] I shouldn't have asked.

Alice: At this point, to get stranger, someone's going to have to throw together some random video game character, a stop-motion puppet, and a roller coaster.

Smiler: Trust me, I'm sure somebody's done that.

--

#valicer #not incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler alton #christmas #I mean if I did a Halloween set based on my headcanons #had a lot of fun coming up with Smiler's awful outfit XD #the yellow sweater with purple snowflakes feels on-brand #most of these were easy to come up with #but the middle two were a bit tricky #fortunately flashes of inspiration struck #I am particularly proud of the surprise drum rickroll XD #and yes I had to mention Grony and Batmuppet XD #look my own little trio here is pretty fucking weird #I feel like I'm in good company here on tumblr with those two :p #queued

[anonforlackofabettername]

👎 for dcu?

Ship that you can never see happening: 👎

For DC? In fanon you’d be astounded by the crackships I’d give time to. Like I believe there’s crackier ships out there, but I fully believe in the believability of bibliosphere’s batmuppet Bruce/Miss Piggy/Kermit ship.

In canon? I’d be surprised if any ship lasted more than a date. The fact that it’s a serialized medium with dozens of different writers and literal decades of content and history means that you either get destined lovers (Clark Kent/Lois Lane), on-again-off-again it depends on the story (Batman/Catwoman, Dick/Babs), or one issue/arc romances (either one night stands or the partner - usually female - fuckin dies (the shoved in a fridge trope is literally named after a green lantern issue)).

I don’t trust canon to keep anyone together but I also trust fanon to ship everyone so long as it makes sense. Like I can see a Batman/Green Arrow date happening even tho they can’t stand each other because I think it would emotionally scar their children and both of them can agree on that.

In canon the ship I don’t think is gonna ever happen is the Trinity. I love the idea of Superman/Batman/Wonder Woman and while I think canon can handle WonderBat and WonderSuper, I don’t think DC would ever make Superbat canon and then adding polyamory on top of it? Nah.

#asks answered #podcasts-8-my-heart #controversial shipping asks

[thebibliosphere]

The only thing I need from the BatMuppet story that I didn't get yet is the HIIIIIIII-YA moment where Miss Piggy karate chops Bruce Wayne.

And has no idea the significance of doing so.

Oh, no, no. She doesn't do it to Bruce. She does it to the Joker.

They're at a televised charity gala, making the rounds. All the usual glitz and glam. Miss Piggy has just left to powder her snout when the shooting starts, and cries to "get down on the ground now!" reverberate through the room. It's almost half expected that the night is going to end in a hostage situation. It's Gotham, for Christ's sake. But no one's expecting the Joker. He's supposed to be in Arkham. The Bats just put him there. He shouldn't be out already.

Bruce is stalling for time, trying to give the Boy Wonder and all his other kids time to get to them. He's stammering, hands in the air, offering to pay whatever the Joker wants if he'll let all these people go. Except the Joker doesn't take ransoms. He barely takes prisoners. And he's got a gun aimed squarely at Bruce Wayne's forehead.

But Bruce keeps trying, inching forward on his knees, hands behind his head. Trying to figure out how much he can get away with in a room full of all these fucking cameras. He's going to get shot. He already knows it. It's just a question of whether he can duck and make sure it goes through his shoulder and not his head. Christ, he fucking hates guns.

"Come on," Bruce says, trying his hardest to sound both scared and amenable. "Everyone has a price. Name yours."

The Joker laughs, gesturing grandly with his free hand. "Tell you what, Brucie-boy, you'll get a price when pigs fly!"

The sound of enraged hoofs striking off marble makes itself known. A deep, guttural squeal tears through the night. The kind that hunters of old knew to fear and keep at the end of a long spear. The Joker turns just in time to see Miss Piggy flying through the air. Eyes red. Tusks bared. Hand raised. "HIIIIIII-YA!"

Jim Gordon's outside, preparing to launch a frontal assault, when the news comes in over the radio. He listens, shouldering the radio against his ear as he pulls a cigarette case out of his pocket. "To shreds, you say? What about the henchmen? To shreds, you say..."

#batfam #batman shitpost #batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

I'm doing *motions vaguely at Ao3* stuff with the BatMuppet universe to get some enrichment in my enclosure and ended up looking at the OG post again.

I caught a glimpse of some of the tags, and I don't want to single you out, friend, but just know I saw your '#it's funnier if you headcanon it as Battinson' tag, and I need you to know you just rewrote a significant chunk of my brain chemistry because yes, yes, yES.

#batmuppet #batman shitpost

[thebibliosphere]

In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.

Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."

Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."

And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.

Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.

My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.

And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"

And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.

Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.

I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.

The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:

ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.

(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)

And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."

And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.

#personal #batfam #emotional trauma #death mention #emotional damage #batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

Batman playing Bruce Wayne playing Bruce Wayne playing Batman in the deleted Muppets scene would have to have been a challenge, even for him.

How do you put on the cowl you wear every night so badly that it basically screams this is clearly parody and can only be a gag?

Oh god, he’d absolutely be making the Madagascar penguin face on the inside. Just:

He fumbles it several times, dropping it on the floor and wrinkling his nose up at the thick rubbery smell. “God this thing looks sweaty. How am I supposed to follow the curly girl method in this thing?”

It's an adlib not in the script. Just something his brain threw out in a last-ditch attempt at self-preservation. It's so funny the crew can be heard cracking up in the background, the camera tilts up to the ceiling as the cameraman loses it. It gets kept in the final blooper reel.

#batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

I’m so sorry to increase the BatMuppet content of your inbox (I’m not actually because this is hilarious) but it is VERY Important that when filming “The Muppets Take Gotham,” someone makes a joke about Bruce being Batman, and everyone *loses* it. The Muppets, the humans, the cast and crew, everyone on set is just dying laughing at the thought of Brucie Wayne being the Dark Knight.

It's actually a genuine threat. Some villain finally figures it out and decides to announce it during a film press conference.

There's a pause, and then the entire room bursts into laughter. It's so funny they decided to keep it in, and it goes to broadcast. People laugh so hard Supes shows up concerned that the Joker broke out and gassed the city and that Bats is somehow incapacitated. Why else would he be able to hear the entire city laughing from the other side of the planet.

Eventually, Batman catches up with the villain and corners him. Maybe he's been hanging around the Muppets too long, but it's dark, there are no cameras. Bruce pushes back the cowl and grins. "Nice try. But no one's ever going to believe you."

#batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

I have been giggling so much since you posted that first snippet of Muppet shenanigans and shared it with several people that don't really use tumblr

Would the Muppets try and mobilize, contact the Justice League or try to talk with Batman when they hear either Brucie or one of his kids got kidnapped? Like, they just crash in trying to help and all those in the know refuse to let Bruce live it down?

I feel like the Justice League are actively trying to capture the Muppets because they’re just another chaotic unknown. They never know what they’re going to find if they show up if the Muppets get there first. There’s too many variables.

“Can’t you control them?” Diana implores.

Batman, who lost complete control of his life the moment Miss Piggy made eyes at him and is not okay is just like, “Yesterday they showed up and rescued Damian from Two-Face and by the time I got there Harvey was trying to climb back over the gates of Arkham to get back inside. No, I can’t control them.”

#batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

Do you think Bruce was weird the first time Tim brought Bernard home? Not because of a man dating a man thing, but because he's just... a nice guy. Some kid. Normal teenager. And given the long list of villains and children of villains his kids have dated over the years, plus super dating is a nightmare. Bruce is like, teary-eyed with awe over a teen who likes video games, accidentally becomes the "need anything, snacks, a condom?" parent out of pure joy because "oh my god this one is NORMAL, Tim, you hang onto him!!"

Bruce being so thrown off his game at meeting Bernard that he temporarily channels June George is giving me so much life.

It'd be so painfully awkward, too, because he'd know. He knows he's not being cool about the situation, but he can't help it.

He's assessing himself against the constant internal perception checks he's always rolling to make sure he's being a Normal Person outside of the cowl, and they're all coming up 1s. He's trying too hard. Too chirpy. Too punny. Too Much. Too Dad.

Bernard doesn't seem to notice. As far as he's aware, it's normal for Bruce to be this cringingly enthusiastic and awkward around his kids' friends. Tim, on the other hand, is conveying clearly that he wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole and that Bruce -- whatever the fuck is wrong with him -- needs to fuck off.

He does not fuck off. He doesn't know how to. All his carefully crafted social schemas have fallen apart. This is Bruce, not knowing how to show approval but trying his hardest.

After several more minutes, Tim saves them all. They were going to play some video game Bernard brought over in the living room, but he takes Bernard by the hand instead and starts leading him up the stairs.

"Come on, we can play it in my room." He glances pointedly at Bruce, who watches them go, still beaming like an idiot. "Somewhere with a door."

"Have fun," Bruce calls after their retreating backs, leaning against the banister as he watches them go. "Let me know if you guys need anything. Snacks. Drinks. A condom. Whatever you want."

Bernard makes a sound like he's choking. The look Tim levels at him is murderous.

This is it. This is Tim's villain origin story. He can see the exact moment they both realize it. Bruce still can't wipe the smile off his face. He does fuck off, though.

#batfam #batman shitpost #I'm going to tag this as Batmuppet #because I feel like my Bruce always comes across as a little too loony toons to be any other canon except the crack I made up #batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

What if the "Miss Piggy Fights the Joker" scene was supposed to be just a fun moment in the script, and another reason why she couldn't leave Bruce, he needs protection! And she's the only one who can provide it! She's the newest hero of Gotham!

Bruce would of course fight against it as it might attract the real Joker, and so they scrap it, but the Joker hears about it anyways. He breaks out of Arkham and his "price" is to play himself in the Muppet movie.

Other villains hear about this, and they too want to be in the Muppet movie. Turns out, while the Muppets are in town, crime goes down significantly because the villains have to be on their best behavior if they want to cameo in it.

😂Harley Quinn would be the first in line. They'd adopt her as a fellow Muppet.

#batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

re: Gonzo masquerading as Batman. Harley Quinn commits to the bit (or very genuinely believes) that she cannot tell the difference between Batman and Batmuppet, and each time she guesses wrong, Rizzo and Damian both grow increasingly incredulous.

Rizzo and Damian steadily losing their minds is giving me so much life, lmao.

#batmuppet

[thebibliosphere]

This is likely the result of having too many WIPS on the go all at once, but I need you to know last night, I had a dream where Alfred from the Pennyworth series was in my Batmuppet universe, and the hilarious mental image of that Alfred being in the absurdist, Wayne Family-esque technicolor puppet driven narrative I've been rotating in my head for months is so, so funny to me.

Like sure, Miami and London both got nuked, and the UK still has public executions, but here's Bruce Wayne and his gaggle of kids on Sesame Street. Have fun. Also, the Muppets are filming a skit in Wayne Manor. Would Alfred like to be part of it?

'Course he fucking would. Out of his way, cunts, he's got some felt puppets to outshine. Everyone else might be acting like they're in a cartoon, but he's going to treat it like Shakespeare. He's going full Muppet Christmas Carol on this one.

#batmuppet #pennyworth #batman #I have so many batman wips right now lmao #truly is the hyperfixation that keeps on giving

[thebibliosphere]

Lies and slander.

#id in alt #fine #we'll do it the cheaters way #tag this post with #batmuppet #then use it to find what we're looking for #broken ass webbed site