#they dont even fucking TRY with the smoke detailing

[nyaskitten]

Just went back and watched Ash fight scenes and if they don't at the VERY LEAST let smoke eminate off Cinder in all his fight scenes you will see me on national and international TV.

#they rob cinder of the hair being colored like smoke #they shrink his brows #they dont even fucking TRY with the smoke detailing #they give him a hideously bisected collar in favor of an admittedly awesome but completely non-canon armor piece #seriously its like they WANT to fuck me up mentally! #/j #i am very passionate about this shit tho #i WILL fight till the end to see cinder get his so-deserved justice #also maybe its just me but the poster makes him look weird .. not a fan #ALSO THEY SHRUNK HIS BIG ':3' MOUTH FUCK THIS. #its like you can TELL its the same guy but it doesnt FEEL that way #they slapped the boring generic-ass wildbrain mouth on him #i shouldnt be getting this angry about it but i am sorry . #ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #raine's rambles #i AM gonna have to make him my oc atp huh #idk why im complaining so much ill get over it eventually #ill be pissed but #ill live.

[lovingmattysposts]

Eastside 3

P1 P2 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8 P9 P10 P11 P12 P13 P14 P15 P16 P17

pairing: y/n and matt sturniolo

summary: growing up in the outskirts of Boston wasn't really pretty. Life wasn't that great for most people, most people. You had Matt and no one fucked with you when Matt was standing by your side. The chief's daughter and the bad boy deliquent. A perfect love story?

Warnings: THIS IS ALL FICTIONAL. NONE OF THIS IS REAL IM JUST TELLING A STORY. a mention of doing hard drugs (not in detail) just the effects of it. It’s kind of like breaking bad if you’ve watched that. Please do not read if mentions of drugs is not your thing. This is the only part with mentions of being on hard drugs. suggestive, fighting, drug deals, angst, fluff

dont take this too seriously, i know matt would never do coke its just a part of the story, its just a character ❤️

xoxo autumn

matt pov

“Here” I said throwing the bag onto the table in front of him. Slim looked from the bag and then to me before standing up slightly. I just watched him. My gaze fixated on him.

If he tried anything I had a gun in my belt.

“You seem too pretty to be in a business like this” He said staring me down. I clenched my jaw. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to be with my girlfriend. I wasn’t staying around to play games with a 30-year-old druggie.

“What? You got a crush on me or something?” I snapped staring at him. The two guys behind him stepped forward before Slim held his hands up to pause them.

I just stared at Slim.

“Watch it pretty boy” He snapped at me. He moved around the table to stand up to me. “If I’m not wrong, you’re about four days late on this delivery. Your brothers made it very clear that I would have this package before today.” He said staring down at me.

“So I wouldn’t be so chippy when you speak to me” He snapped. I wasn’t intimidated by him. Not much scared me. He did not scare me.

“Yeah well, you got your package so-“ I said starting to turn, but guns were draw quickly making me pause and sigh.

“I’m not done” Slim said looking at me. I turned back to him.

What possessed me to do this? Y/n was right. What the hell was I doing? The last thing I needed was another charge under my belt.

“Make it late on a delivery again, and you won’t get off this easy the next time” He said through gritted teeth. I closed my eyes trying not to snap on this dude. I didn’t take being threatened kindly, but there wasn’t a need for a fight. 3 against 1 I wouldn’t win.

I just stared at him.

He turned before picking up the packaging. “How do I know this is what you say it is?” He asked looking down at it. I rolled my eyes. “It’s pure. I didn’t make it. I’m just the delivery boy” I smiled at him sarcastically.

He reached down into his pocket before pulling out a knife and cutting the top. I just looked at him.

“Take a blow” He said holding it up to me. I glanced from the him to Landon and Ray in the back behind him. Fuck.

“Slim, I don’t do drugs like this” I stated looking at him. He licked his lips. His face didn’t alter. It wasn’t a question. I sighed looking down.

I should have just stayed with y/n. I shouldn’t have made this delivery. This was a mistake.

“It’s pure. Try it for yourself” I mumbled stepping back, but bumped into someone I didn’t recognize. A dude that was three times my size. I looked from him back to Slim.

“Consider it the late fee” Slim said looking down at me. I closed my eyes and sighed. I wasn’t getting out of this one.

Just think of y/n. You can do this.

“I won’t be late again” I said through gritted teeth. If I hated anything, it was being told what to do. But I couldn’t leave y/n. If she found out that I died doing a drug deal, it would crush her more than if I did a blow of Coke.

“I know you won’t. You aren’t leaving until you take this” he said holding bag up to my face. I licked my lips. I’ve only ever really smoked weed before. I’d never done anything like this nor imagined myself doing this.

I was going to kill Nick and Chris.

I looked down at the bag and swallowed.

I leaned down and it was quick, I stood back up looking at him. I started coughing. Fuck that hurt. Slim chuckled down at me before leaning down and taking a blow himself and rubbing his nose, passing the bag off to Landon.

I blinked at him trying to contain myself but I shook my head. My eyes were watering and god that hurt.

He pushed me back slightly before shaking his head.

“Best be on your way delivery boy” he chuckled turning around as I shook my head trying to catch my breath as I turned and walked out of the building.

(I simply don’t know the effects of Coke so I am just guessing 👍😀)

The cold air hit me fast feeling it all over my skin. I shielded the light of the street light against my face. Damn that was bright. I shook my head trying to focus as I walked down the street.

My vision seemed almost clearer as I walked and before I knew it my mind was racing and I walked all the way back to y/n’s house.

Now it was nearing 3 in the morning.

She was mad at me.

I knew she was mad at me.

Fuck, my girlfriend was mad at me.

She can’t be mad at me.

I have to apologize.

-

y/n pov

I couldn’t sleep after he walked me home. I was worried sick. What was he doing? Was he safe? I texted him a few times from the burner phone he got me, but he didn’t answer.

I avoided the urge to text Nick or Chris. If I asked them one more time about this package they were going to rip my head off. I sighed as I looked over at the clock on my bedside table

3:33am

I really hope he was okay. I felt my eyes start to water. I had been staring at the ceiling for almost three hours. I can’t keep doing this. I cant keep killing myself over worrying if Matt was okay.

God I felt like I was going to be doing this the rest of my life.

I felt my phone buzz. I grabbed it quickly before flipping it open and answering it.

“Matt?” I said quickly. “Baby, why aren’t you asleep?” He asked slowly and softly through the phone. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Where are you? Are you safe? Matt are you okay?” I asked sitting up and turning on the light. He let out a breath through the phone.

“Woah” he said and then silence. “Matt?” I asked. He chuckled a little bit. “You turned your light on, had it always been that bright? I feel like it’s the sun” he laughed through the phone.

I stood up.

“Are you outside?” I whispered as I walked over to my window and pushed the curtains to the side and saw him leaned up against one of the trees in my backyard.

“Hi” he whispered. I sighed of relief, he was okay.

“Matt, just get up here” I smiled shaking my head. He leaned his head against the tree and sighed. “I tried, it’s hard” he said shaking his head. My eyebrows furrowed.

“What?” I asked staring down at him. He sat down against the tree. I stared down at him. “Are you high?” I asked looking at him. He shook his head looking up at me.

“Matthew” I stated. He sighed. “I want to apologize” He said through the phone. I shook my head. “You already did” I stated.

“Can you just come get me?” He asked looking up at me. I turned to look at my door. “I don’t want to wake up my Dad” I said looking at him. He whined through the phone.

What did he take?

“Okay, okay. I’m coming” I said shutting off the phone and opening my door slowly, and walking down the steps before walking out my back door.

I walked quickly over to him, the cold air out here was brutal. He smiled up at me.

“My girlfriend is here” he stated smiling. I looked around him before looking back down. “Get up” I stated looking at him. He frowned.

“Not if you’re gonna be mad at me” He shook his head then closed his eyes. I sighed squatting down in front of him. “Matt, stand up. Just come inside” I sighed. He looked at me but he looked like he was looking through me.

I grabbed his arm as I attempted to pull him to his feet. He groaned as he stood up and fell onto me, wrapping his arms around me.

“What did you take?” I whispered as I tried to keep him standing. He just hummed against me. “It’s Chris’s fault” He mumbled. I shook my head as I pushed him up and started to walk back inside as he leaned against me.

We successfully made it up the stairs, him stumbling slightly before I pushed into my room. He sighed pushing off me and walking over to my bed before falling against it, looking up at the ceiling.

I walked over to him, sitting next to him. He glanced over at me. His pupils were huge. I looked down at his face.

“Are you trying to kiss me?” He whispered. I just looked down at him.

“You didn’t” I said my heart breaking. He swallowed looking away from me. I sat back up biting my lip and turning away from him, feeling tears come up to my eyes.

“Matt” I shook my head. He sat up and wrapped his arms around me and laid agaisnt my lap. “I’m sorry” He whispered. I shook my head and pushed him off of me.

“Y/n, no” He whined reaching for me again. I shook my head. “You came to the chief of police’s house high on Coke?” I spat looking down at him. He looked away from me and clenched his jaw.

“I didn’t know where else to go” he mumbled. I scoffed looking down. “Maybe to your house? I’m calling Chris” I said standing up. I held out my hand. “Give me your phone” I said. He shook his head.

“I didn’t mean to” he whispered. I shook my head as I looked at him. “You didn’t mean to?” I asked. He sighed looking up at me.

“Colors are so bright” he said looking around my room. I just watched him as his eyes scanned me. “Your aura is blue” He stated looking at me holding his hands up. I raised my eyebrows.

“My aura?” I asked staring down at him. He nodded closing his eyes and leaning back. “Pretty blue” he mumbled. “Just like you” he smiled. I closed my eyes and pinched my nose.

There was no way I was dealing with this right now.

“Phone, now” I stated holding out my hand. He whined and rolled over. “Matthew” I stated harshly. “You’re always mad at me. Stop being mad at me” He said his face pressed into a pillow.

I tried everything in me not to strangle him.

“Maybe if you didn’t do stupid shit and lie to me. I wouldn’t be mad” I stated down at him. He groaned.

“Can you not yell at me right now?” He mumbled. I sighed and placed my hand on his head. “Do you hate me?” He mumbled. I sighed.

“Sometimes” I whispered. He groaned into the pillow.

Okay, he's high on a drug he's never taken before. He's probably freaking out. I need to calm down a bit. I took in a deep breath and looked down at him.

"Baby" I whispered, he hummed. "Can I please see your phone?" I asked as he lifted his head to look at me. He blinked at me. "No" He said looking at me. I glared at him.

"You're so pretty, come sit on me" He said pulling me on top of him. I smiled and shook my head. "Matt" I sighed as he ran his hands up my leg. "You don't know how hard it was to deny that blowjob earlier" He sighed looking at me. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"You're high off coke Matthew, If you thinking i'm giving you a blowjob you're fucking crazy" I said looking down at him. He sighed. "I know, I was just saying" He mumbled.

"You're lucky I don't slap the shit out of you" I whispered looking down at him. He rolled his eyes. I reached into his pocket before pulling out his phone.

"No" He whined attempting to grab it back, but he was out of it, not even getting close to my hand as I shook my head and unlocked his phone. I clicked on Chris's contact before holding it up to ear as it rang.

Matt whined beneath me and tried to get out from under me and I just shook my head. Chris picked up the phone.

"Matt? Where the hell are you?" Chris said quickly over the phone. I looked down at Matt as he whined putting his hands against his face.

"Christopher, Why is my boyfriend high off coke?" I said angrily over the phone. He paused from my voice. "What?" Chris breathed. He had no idea why he was high either. I sighed.

"Where is he? Where are you?" He asked quickly. I looked down at Matt who was now just staring at the ceiling, staring aimlessly.

"He showed up at my house high out of his mind and his pupils are as big as his fucking eyes. Why the fuck is he on coke Chris?" I asked again. Chris groaned through the phone. "I'm coming to get him" He mumbled quickly.

"Answer the question" I said through gritted teeth. "Fuck Y/n, I don't know. I didn't tell him to take coke" He yelled over the phone. "Give him the phone" Chris said quickly. I sighed before looking down at Matt.

"Matt" I stated making him glance at me. I moved off of him and he whined, trying to pull me back to him but he failed. "Chris wants to talk to you" I said handing him the phone. He sighed as I pressed the phone to his ear and he took it out of my hand.

He just listened for a minute. "Chris, I don't know" Matt sighed closing his eyes. "Yes, I did. He was an asshole" He said making me furrow my eyebrows. "He made me" He whispered. "Matt what is he saying?" I asked looking at him. He glanced at me as he listened to the phone.

"No, I wanna stay here" He frowned. I shook my head. "You can't stay here" I said looking at him. He whined and closed his eyes. "Okay" He breathed through the phone before turning it off and throwing it on the bed.

"Matt, who made you do what?" I asked pulling his arm. "Y/n, do you think I wanted to do this to myself?" He groaned rubbing his eyes. "I have a brain, I knew you would kill me" He shook his head. I sighed and shook my head before sitting up and pulling his head into my lap.

He sighed as he laid against my thighs breathing heavily as we waited for Chris.

-

matt pov

I groaned as I rolled over on the bed and reached for my phone, but it wasn't there. Wow I felt like shit. I sat up before seeing Nick and Chris staring down at me, making me jump slightly.

"What the fuck happened?" Nick said glaring down at me. I shook my head rubbing my eyes. "What are you-" I started to say. "Last night. you did Coke?" Chris said glaring at me. Memories flooded through my brain. My eyes went wide.

"Fuck" I said shaking my head. I stood up walking over to them before I felt Nick push me. "Are you stupid?" He yelled at me. I glared at him before pushing him back against the wall. "This is your fucking fault!" I yelled at him. He pushed me off of him.

"Slim wouldn't let me leave until I did, said he had to make sure we weren't playing him" I said through gritted teeth. Nick sighed and looked down. Chris just looked at me.

"Y/n was pretty worried last night" Chris said crossing his arms over his chest. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him. "What are you talking about? She was fine after I walked her home. I didn't see her after that" I said shaking my head. Chris and Nick glanced at each other and then back at me. My heart dropped.

"I didn't see her again after that right?" I asked loudly stepping towards them. Chris held up his hands. "Y/n called me from your phone last night. You went to her house after you dropped off the package. We started thinking something went wrong when you didn't come back" Chris explained.

My mouth fell open as stepped back, placing my hands on my forehead. "Oh my god" I breathed. I looked up at Chris. "This is your fault. I never wanted to deliver that damn package in the first place. If you don't remember my girlfriend's dad is the chief of fucking police" I yelled at him.

He glared at me.

"Yes you did. You fucking agreed to it, forgot to deliver it and you took the fucking coke. This is no one's fault but you're own. And yes I am well aware of who your girlfriend's dad is, you showed up there high as shit you absolute dumbass!" He screamed back at me. I sighed looking down. I shook my head.

I can't believe I did this. I am so fucked.

-

y/n pov

I sat on the curb as the sun started to set. It was a little past 7pm on Friday. I didn't tell Matt to meet me here, but I knew he would come. Because It was Friday at the train tracks. It's when we always met.

Don't get me wrong I was furious with him, only because he was leaving me in the dark. It wasn't fair. He's never kept secrets from me. I don't know why he's starting now.

I heard footsteps coming up from behind me, the crunching of the gravel beneath their feet. I didn't turn to look at them as I threw rocks in front of me. I heard Matt sigh as he sat down next to me. I didn't look at him as he turned to me. I just kept throwing rocks.

"Y/n" He stated. I didn't look at him, I just dropped the rocks in my hand as he looked at me. "You came" I breathed. He let out a breath. "Y/n, I'll never not come" He said making me look up at him. He looked sadly down at me.

I felt tears brim to my eyes.

"Matt, you scared the shit out of me" My voice broke. He sighed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. He kissed the top of my head as silent tears and shaky breaths came out of me. He squeezed me tight.

"Matt, you're scaring me" I breathed slightly. He pulled back before wiping the tears under my eyes. "I love you" He whispered kissing the top of my head. "I love you too but what are you doing?" I asked shaking my head. He sighed looking down.

"Talk to me, I'm your girlfriend" I said shaking my head. He glanced up at me. "I can't" He breathed. I turned my head looking away. "Y/n, stop" He breathed pulling me back to look at him.

"I wanna-" He stopped and closed his eyes. "I'm just in it with some guys and--" He paused. "I can't tell you what I was doing but I promise what happened that night will never happen again" He shook his head. I closed my eyes. In the dark again.

"Is it because of my dad?" I asked softly. He sighed. "Because I know that Chris and Nick--They always look at me differently because of it--but--but you never did and I don't understand--" I breathed as I started to cry again. He shook his head as he pulled me into him.

"Shh, Shh" He whispered as I cried against him. He ran his hand through my hair, attempting calm me down. "It's not because of your dad, it's because of your safety. My one job is to keep you safe and that's what I'm doing. I am so sorry that you had to see that. I promise you will never have to deal with it ever again okay?" He said pulling me back.

I swallowed as I looked at him. "I just feel so in the dark" I whispered looking at him. He nodded. "It's better that way" He said looking at me, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. I looked down.

"It's punishment enough seeing you like this to know to never do that again" He whispered as he scanned my face. I smiled sadly looking down.

"I don't like this" I whispered. He nodded. "I know you don't" He sighed looking down at me. I looked up at him. "Do you promise to never do that to me again?" I asked looking at him. He nodded as he looked at me. "I won't ever scare you like that again" He whispered. I took a deep breath as I stared out towards the tracks.

"Winter formal is coming up" I breathed. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me. I glanced over at him. "What?" He smiled at me, making me smile and wipe my eyes. "Winter formal" I breathed again looking at him. He stared blankly at me just blinking. I shrugged.

"It would be fun to go" I said biting my lip. He chuckled slightly. "Since when do you care about stupid school dances?" He asked shaking his head. I shook my head and shrugged. "I don't know" I whispered. He just looked at me.

"It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to get dressed up and stuff" I whispered looking down at my feet. He closed his eyes hanging his head. "I've never seen you in a skirt let alone a dress" He stated. He was right. I never get dressed up.

"Yeah I know but--I don't know." I shrugged. I blinked over at him. "Don't you want to feel like a normal teenager for once?" I asked. He shook his head.

"In a room with our high school with a bunch of sweaty, horny teenagers who don't know how to dance and are drunk as shit? No I don't" He shook his head. I just looked back down at the ground moving a few rocks on the ground and nodded.

He let out a breath and groaned.

"Y/n, your dad wouldn't even let me take you" He said as I looked at the ground. I shook my head. "No yeah, I know it was stupid. Just forget I said anything" I mumbled. He just stared down at me.

"Y/n" He breathed grabbing my arm, I pulled back. "I said I know okay?" I said looking up at him. He just looked at me. I shook my head and turned away. He stood up. I didn't look up at him.

"Y/n" He stated. I blinked at the ground. "Baby" He whispered. I glanced up at him. "Come here please" He whispered from above me. I sighed before standing up. He wrapped him arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I sighed as I laid against his chest.

"I love you more than you could ever know" He whispered against the top of my head. I closed my eyes and swallowed. He pushed his hands up my back under my shirt as he rubbed his thumb against the bottom of my back.

"I know" I whispered. He chuckled and leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. I smiled softly as he looked at me. "Tell me you love me too" He whispered. I rolled my eyes and pushed off of him. His face dropping.

"Make me" I smiled before turning and running into the other direction. I heard footsteps fast behind me as I ran laughing. I barely made it on the other side of the old abandoned building before I screamed from him grabbing me from behind and lifting me off my feet. I laughed as he set me down and we both tumbled on the ground.

He laughed as I struggled against his grip on me. I tried to catch my breath as a I turned to look at him. He sighed smiling before laying his head against the ground looking at me. I just smiled at him. He leaned forward before catching his lips in between mine, kissing me passionatly. I smiled against his lips as I pressed my hands against his face pulling him closer to me.

He gripped my hips as he rolled over on top of me. He leaned down as he kissed my jaw and down my neck. He smiled against my skin, as he pushed my shirt running his hands up my stomach. I sighed.

"Your hands are warm" I whispered as he bit down on my neck. He hummed as his hands came over my bra. "Matt" I sighed pushing his hands down. "What?" He smiled as he lifted his head back up to me, pecking my lips.

"We're in public" I smiled up at him. He lifted his head and looked around. "Hello?" He yelled making my eyes go wide. "Helllo??" He yelled again. I punched him in the chest making him groan and lean forward.

"Matthew" I whispered looking at him with wide eyes. He smiled and shook his head as he connected our lips again, chasing after my kiss. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I wrapped my legs around his back.

"I wanna marry you" He mumbled against my lips. I pulled back. "What?" I asked looking at him. "I wanna marry you" He whispered again looking down at me. I just blinked at him. "What?" He smiled pushing my hair behind my ear. I smiled and shook my head.

"I didn't know that" I whispered looking at him. He rolled his eyes. "How did you not know that?" He asked shaking his head. I shrugged. "You never said it" I stated. He shook his head down at me. "I didn't have to" He whispered. I smiled pushing his brown hair out of his face as he peered down at me.

"How long have you know that?" I asked looking at him. He looked off breathing out. "I think it was when you put a live snake into Sabrinia Scottland's backpack when she left a love note in my locker in the eighth grade" He chuckled above me. I closed my eyes and scrunched my nose.

"That wasn't me" I mumbled making him chuckle. "Yes it was" He laughed. I sighed opening my eyes. He smiled as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek. "I was never subtle was I?" I asked looking up at him. He shook his head smiling.

"No, you weren't" He smiled making me laugh. "Where did you get a live snake?" He asked looking down at me.

"Again, do you want to keep questioning me or can we make out?" I asked looking up at him with raised my eyebrows. "The second choice" He said quickly. I smiled. "Good choice pretty boy" I mumbled as he pressed his lips against mine again.

He ran his hands down my body as he kissed me. He lifted my shirt before kissing down my neck and then down my chest. I squirmed beneath him as he kissed slowly down my stomach.

"Matt" I breathed closing my eyes as I arched against him. He hummed as he started to unbutton my jeans. I breathed in.

That's when we heard voices down the tracks. Matt froze and lifted his head. I sat up at looked at him. His eyes were turned to the tracks. "Matt?" I stated, my heart starting to beat. He didn't look at me.

"Matt, is it cops?" I asked looking at him. He stayed frozen before standing up quickly looking down at me. "Get up" He said sternly looking at me. I jumped up and pulled down my shirt and buttoned my jeans back. He grabbed my hand before pulling me in the opposite direction down the path.

"Matt who was it?" I asked looking up at him as he dragged me with him. He didn't look at me as his jaw was clenched as he closed his eyes. "Matt" I said stopping and turning towards him, pulling my hand back.

"Y/n walk now" He said looking down at me with hard eyes. I shook my head. "No, stop keeping shit from me I'm tired of--"

"Sturniolo!"

Matt closed his eyes and let out a breath. My eyes went wide as I heard voices walking up to us. I turned and Matt grabbed my arm and pushed me behind him. It was a couple of guys. I swallowed as I looked up at Matt.

"Matt" I whispered barley audible. "Just don't say anything and stay behind me" He said barley moving his lips. I swallowed as they approched us.

"Not gonna say hello?" One of the boys asked smiling at Matt. Matt just looked at him, with a hard jaw. "That's not Eastside curtiosy" He smiled as he stopped in front of us.

"Didn't see you. We were just leaving" Matt breathed looking at him. I glanced to the other guy standing next to the one speaking to Matt. His eyes were fixated on me. I glanced at the ground.

The other's eyes glanced to mine and then back to Matt. Matt glared at him. "And who's this?" He smiled at Matt pointing to me. I felt my face drain.

"Like I said, we were just leaving" He said again. The dude stared down Matt. "It's rude to not introduce your friends Matt" He said staring at Matt.

"I'm Pallo" He stated holding out his hand for me to shake. Matt stepped in front of me, pushing me back slightly. Pallo raised his eyebrows to Matt's reaction and lowered his hand. I swallowed.

"Oh? Didn't realize she was taken. This your little girlfriend?" He asked smiling at Matt. I could feel Matt's anger radiating off of him. I looked up at him, wanting to reach out to calm him down but didn't.

"We're not here to cause any trouble. We're on good terms as of yesterday" Matt stated looking at him. He raised his eyebrows. "Oh are we? Did Slim tell you that?" He asked. My eyebrows furrowed at Matt.

The guy behind him eyes never left mine. I looked at the ground. "I know her" He spoke. Matt's eyes snapped to his as he looked at me. He looked at Pallo. "That's the chief's daughter" He said pointing to me. I felt my heart stop.

Pallo raised his eyebrows as he looked at Matt. "You're fucking the chief's daughter Sturniolo?" He asked looking at him. Matt clenched his fists. I closed my eyes. This was not good.

"She's not Eastside blood. She's fair game" Pallo said shaking his head at Matt as he reached into his pocket. Matt stepped forward crossing his arms over his chest as he approached Pallo. "She's not fair game" He stated coldly.

I let out a shaky breath. "She can't be here" Pallo said smiling at Matt.

"She's with me and we were just leaving" Matt said staring him down. I looked up at Matt. Pallo nodded slowly before glancing at me up and down. I crossed my arms and looked away.

"She's a fine little thing" Pallo smiled at Matt. Matt clenched his jaw so hard I thought he was going to break a tooth. "Be a shame if something happened to her" Pallo said stepping up to Matt. Matt peered down at him.

"You forget who me and my brothers are Pallo" He stated down at him. Pallo looked to the side and swallowed. "You forget what would happen if Slim found out about her" He mumbled.

"Slim and I are good. That's not a threat" He shook his head. The other dude stepped towards me, making Matt grab him by the shirt quickly pulling him towards him.

"I could kill you in 100 different ways and make it look like an accident" He mumbled to the dude. My mouth fell open. Matt roughly let him go. Pallo stepped back.

"Best be on your way Matt, the sun's about to set" He said staring at Matt. I looked between them as they walked away. Matt turned back to me and grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I didn't say anything as he dragged me away and out of the tracks.

sorry was this alot

tag list: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @sturnsclutter @sturniolodreamz @paper-crab @chrisolivia4l @mwah0mwah @recklesssturniolo @ejswift @kitaysworld @meg-sturniolo @nickmillersn1gf @fr3shl0ve @adrianaturnedpretty @oversturn @ghostgurlswrld @flowerxbunnie @ilytrinsworld @lustfulslxt @kiarastromboli @gemofthenight @blahbel668 @haunted-headset @sturnybabes @bethsturn @d3adlyclassrat @sturnybabes @mattsbitch @chrisluvbot @nickenthusiast @sturniolossmut @biimpanicking

#sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets

[yok00k]

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

sanrio!oc & boxer!jk headcannon

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

⤷ ⊹₊⋆ series masterlist ⊹₊⋆

>pics from pinterest<

—warning: some mature contents, read at your own risk—

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

ᡣ𐭩 y/n l/n, 19

ʚɞ lives in a tiny/luxurious apartment nearby the lake

ʚɞ works at a bubble tea store. you love being in a minimalistic and cute place. indeed you think you’re just a girl and your world is full of sanrio and cute stuff.

ʚɞ currently studying cosmetology. you dont know what you want to do just yet but you’re trying to figure it out. you love doing your own makeup, nails, and eyelashes. anything that makes you feel that feminine energy you’ll do it. that’s the reason why you’re pursuing something that’s related to your very own interest!

ʚɞ obsessed with hello kitty. you just has to collect at least one every week so you can function properly

ʚɞ has daddy’s issue (just like the author)

ʚɞ friendly to everyone but you have 3 real friends who you know really well. you open up to them about some details of you and jungkook’s relationship. there’s always there to give you advice or just listen to your rants

ʚɞ you’re very affectionate and genuinely loves the people in your life + sensitive: cry yourself to sleep when someone yells at you. how dare they

ʚɞ had multiple sugar daddies prior to entering a relationship with jk

ʚɞ your go-to outfits are mini skirts+black platform boots/mary janes + crop tops

ʚɞ dumb and slow as a turtle. you just never get what’s going on most of the time & that’s why guys get to take advantage of you and your dummy self won’t even realize it.

ʚɞ may look innocent but be the freakiest in the bedroom. 100% certified virgin (just for the first 6 months of her and jk’s relationship) but that doesn’t mean you can’t own multiple toys + toys that jk gifted you.

ʚɞ unintentionally and intentionally tease jk. you just likes seeing all worked up for nothing.. or something

ʚɞ sucker for creampie & cockwarming

ʚɞ listen to kali uchis, lana del rey, mitski, etc.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

<pics from pinterest>

ᡣ𐭩 Jeongguk Jeon, 23

ꕤ born from a wealthy family. he rebels against his parents: they wanted him to be the heir of their business, but jungkook said “fuck that imma do my own thing”

ꕤ was an underground boxer at the age of 20, but because of his skills, he became somewhat popular in mainstream boxing.

ꕤ has lots of boxing competition [i think he likes to fight]

ꕤ has anger issues. especially when he sees men taking advantage of you. boxing helps him to let out all the anger and he’s learning how to be better. [ you can fix him ]

ꕤ nonchalant but possessive? he doesn’t like to share

ꕤ lives on his own for some time now, in a huge penthouse. he gets lonely most of the time, he’s used to it though

ꕤ @ the gym 24/7. he basically lives there.

ꕤ rumor has it that he was a fuckboy? there’s no proof though.. yet. there’s been rumors around and they don’t sound nice.

ꕤ smokes + vapes [oc hates it]

ꕤ has a big dog named Bam, he’s such a good dog to you!

ꕤ always horny, he keeps the videos of you playing with yourself for his personal use

ꕤ has lots of fantasy of you, he’s infatuated then later on will be in love

ꕤ listens to partynextdoor, metro boomin, brent faiyaz, etc.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

#jungkook ff #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fic #jungkook imagine #jungkook x reader #jungkookxreader #bts jk #jeon jk #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeongguk #headcanon #sanrihoe #boxer au #bts ff #jungkook angst #jeon jungkook #jjk fluff #fluff #bts fluff #bts ffs #jeon jungkoooook #i love him #so silly #x reader #jjk x you

[hyperfixatedfandomer]

about Richter and Olrox AU

some scenarios i would love to see if you interested :) (i love your AU's idea!! i needed it honestly)

1. Lets assume that Richter managed to escape once and even not far away but in that short time he managed to hurt himself (broken leg, arm or nasty bruises) and Olrox, who quickly finds him anddd... I leave the rest for you to complete bc i dont wanna interfere to your Olrox's character

2. Richter is nearly bitten by another vampire during a ball

3. Richter has a breakdown over being estranged from his mother and seeks comfort in anything other than Olrox but eventually turns to him

4. Frequent nightmaresss

5. Another Richter escape attempt ending in failure

thats all :3 feel free to add anything!!

gn/gm

(Young Richter gets captured by Olrox as revenge: a bittersweet found family au introduction post)

Ok first of all I gotta say that I’m in LOVEEEE with these prompts! I’m gonna do all of them eventually in no particular order, ESPECIALLY the nightmares bc that can be a whole one-shot (plz let me know if you want it, guys) but let’s start with the scenario nr 2 🤭 buckle up because this is gonna be a long one!

.

.

Olrox had a nagging feeling in the back of his head that told him something was off, and he couldn’t dampen the voice of anxiety that told him to check up on his little companion.

The vampire ball was an event even the Aztec could at times barely get through, so it had been no surprise that Richter Belmont was dying from boredom. He’d been afraid at first, alarmed around immortals in puffy gowns and tall wigs, but Olrox had made it clear, both to the boy and to the other guests that no hair would fall off his head.

Some hours later, Richie settled on a bench in the garden and promptly passed out, using his newly bought navy blue coat as a pillow. The vampires awwed at the cuteness of Olrox’s "pet" (oh how that title ticked him off), but eventually left him alone and he’d been napping somewhat peacefully since, or, at least, ten minutes ago…

For Richie wasn’t there now, and the man’s lips wouldn’t crease into a sneer, if not for one simple detail.

The coat was lying on the stone pathway. The same coat that Richter came to cherish in the short time he’d been in it. “Never wore anything so expensive before” The child told him, so it made no sense at all that he’d leave that piece of clothing as if it was forgotten.

Something is wrong, the voice kept whispering, you need to find him as soon as possible, it pleaded; you have to protect him. You can’t loose him too.

Olrox cursed at how easily fear of loss possessed him, as he took the coat and, using his inhuman sense of smell, scoured the garden. His eye twitched when a familiar scent led him to a labyrinth.

He’s a kid, the vampire kept telling himself, children do foolish stuff all the time. He was just feeling bored. Deep down however, he knew it was a horrible lie. Richter was a kid, but a clever one, and a descendant of a vampire huntress. He wouldn’t get himself into a vulnerable position.

Olrox’s eyes widened. Not unless he’s trying to escape.

“Fuck-let me GO!” He heard a barely audible scream. It was far, but undoubtedly little Belmont. Aztec wasted no time turning into a cloud of black smoke, traversing above the green labyrinth and towards the sound.

“I knew you’d try something you little brat. Sort of glad you did, actually. Always wondered how Belmont blood tasted.”

“No…you won’t drink my blood. You can’t!”

“And why not?”

“Ngrh-“ A choked cough was heard and Olrox picked up a wind. “Olrox will shove those fangs down your throat!”

“Right, the dirty mutt. As if he could ever rival me.”

Olrox felt his smoke turn into sharp scales as a growl escaped his throat. He was close. So close.

Where are you, child?

“N-NO! STO—STAY AWAY—OLROX!!!”

The Aztec had that vampire seized before he even knew it. The world turned red for a moment, and when he woke up, there as a pathetic, blood-sucking immortal crushed in the vice grip of his tail. Reverting to his human form, he found Richie lying on the grass, grasping at his neck and coughing. He was at his side in an instant, picking up the small thing and holding him to his chest.

“Breathe, Richter, breathe…” Olrox spoke, rubbing Belmont’s back.

“He—that asshole tried to—” Richie spat between coughs.

“I know, but he has been dealt with. He’s done.”

Richter tried to look at the bloodbath, but Olrox pressed him back into the fabric of his cravat, now stained with tears. Surprisingly however, he did not care one bit. Fabric was just that; fabric, however intricately made. It could never replace a person.

“You….you came…” Richie then uttered, in disbelief and on the verge of tears.

“You called for me.” He answered, carding his boy’s curls.

“…I—“

“Tried to run. I guessed.”

“…are you angry?”

“I probably will be, but not now.” Olrox smiled, picking up the child. “For now, you being unharmed is enough. I’ll scold you in the morning.”

Richter smirked, though sadly. “Is the party over?”

“No, but we’re leaving. Now.”

“Oh thank god!” Richter whined, no fear or sadness left in his voice. “Let’s go, I’m starving!”

#castlevania nocturne #castlevania au #castlevania fanfiction #castlevania richter #nocturne richter #richter belmont #richter #castlevania olrox #nocturne olrox #olrox #olrox/mizrak

[fuck-customers]

🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

[bloodycyrano]

I am extremely mentally fucked right now, so let's see how team tadpole handles their depressive episodes! TW, this will probably be super depressing to read.

Astarion: He thinks he hides it really well, and for the most part, he does. But his motivation for easy, everyday tasks and self care goes absolutely down the drain. You've seen the inside of his tent, you know how it goes. He tries to keep up the image of doing well, keep the smile, keep the jokes coming. He's terrified of people finding out what's underneath, and in hiding it, he feels like he has the upper hand. He doesn't, and he needs therapy. I'd also put money on him hypersexualizing himself for the validation and to feel like he was worth something. After all, Cazador beat it into him that that was all he was good for. Luring in pray with his body. - We also know that Astarion has nightmares, but I'd like to add to this with the reminder that Elves don't sleep. They trance. In the trance, they go over the memories of their past. It's how they keep up with such long lives and how they stay close to past lives as children (For those who dont know, elves don't measure age in maturity, but rather by distance to their past lives- Once an elf can no longer recall memories from their past life, they are considered an adult. They pick their adult name in celebration of the new person and consciousness that they now are). The fact that Astarion can remember nothing of his life prior to being turned by Cazador, nothing of his family, etc., Means that he is so deeply affected by Cazador that those memories are the only things he can see when he goes to rest at night. Every night, in perfect detail, he has to remember all of his worst trauma.

Karlach: Karlach is the sunshine character. She's sweet, and loud and bright with the biggest smile, but you also have to remember that she was a soldier. She was sold off to a literal demon and used as a science experiment essentially for the hell of it. She's not going to open up about what she's feeling immediately, and she's not going to seek help, either. She thinks she has to deal with it quietly and on her own, because since her parents died; that's what she's always had to do. Chin up, no tears, keep fighting. It's going to stress her out to the point where she starts smoking again, but she'll try to hide it or brush it off. Most importantly, she's going to be more focussed on not burdening those around her and trying to take care of you guys and protect you at the expense of her own mental health and physical safety. But her sorrows are noticeable. She can try to hide it, but everyone in camp knows. Everyone in camp is worried. Everyone can see when her eyes stop glimmering, when she stops dancing around in her tent when she can't sleep, when her bright laughter stops, and when she gets quiet. So quiet. She zones out, like she's in another realm entirely. She probably also has post traumatic stress from her time as a soldier, and it's going to weigh on her heavily in battle. Maybe she'll freeze up, have flashbacks, even potentially have small hallucinations now and again. It's going to take a lot of care and reassurance to get her to talk to you about it, but when she finally does, she'll probably have a complete meltdown with all the feelings she's been keeping inside.

Wyll: Wyll self isolates. He gets much quieter, and he probably isn't going to be too open to talking about it unless he's really close to you. He gets a little cold when talking to people, but he's good at resolving things in his head and the most likely to rationalize his feelings to make himself feel better. He also probably writes poetry, or even paints his feelings as a form of expressing his sorrows because he understands he needs some outlet so he isn't bottling everything up. He has the heart of an artist, and this is a hill I am prepared to die on.

Gale: He has a hard time talking when he's sad, and probably has difficulty making eye contact as well. He'd probably be more inclined to seek out comfort and vent than the rest of team tadpole, but that doesn't take away from the complexity of his emotions. He's angry, and sad, and feels so so shitty just about being who he is in general. He's fallen so far from where he once was, and for what? He'll do is best to rationalize, but his anxiety is going to push into paranoia, and rationalizing is going to turn into self loathing. He's going to try his best to be more useful, and show off, and earn the validation he craves because without that, what is he? He was a prodigy child. He used to be so, so great. Even the goddess of magic herself thought so. Now he's rotting away in a camp full of strangers and trying to re-learn level one spells. It's taking a toll on him, and it's noticeable to anyone willing to look.

Shadowheart: She's trying to pray. The goddess she has been devoted to all her life is the lady of loss. There is a great amount of sorrow in the way she worships, and in her suffering, she finds faith. She tells herself it's her next step to becoming a dark justiciar. Delving further into her faith and trusting in the dark depths of her soul, and her pain. All it ever truly does is make her hurt, though.

Lae'zel: Lae’zel is truly a specimen built on stoicism. If you ask her what's wrong, she will tell you but it will also be in such a way that you wonder if she's really processing all of her pain. The thing is, she's thinking about it. She has the emotional intelligence to understand the way she's feeling and how to fix it, but for some reason unknown to her, she can't. And that's what's going to stress her out and hurt her the most. She knows what theoretically should fix the pain, but it's not working the way that it should. She's going to wonder if it's something wrong with her, or the way she's going about it. She might get angry with other people more often, and try to project blame onto someone so that maybe she can find a way to resolve the way that it hurts. But she can't. She'll keep throwing temporary solutions and misplaced anger into the void until she finds something to distract from it. And maybe, after a lot of contemplation and positive outside help from the rest of team tadpole, she may find peace.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #lae'zel #gale dekarios #karlach #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #team tadpole #angst #depressing shit #menatl health #trauma

[galaxywarp]

Last night’s relapse dream was . Particularly awful

It was just too convincing. Too realistic. I was in my grandparent’s house, sneaking around and trying to hide that I was smoking meth. Going into the bathroom and hurrying to take a hit and hiding the paraphernalia in the cabinets afterwards, exactly like how I did when I was really using. Listening with intense paranoia to make sure no one was coming too close to the door. Making sure no one could hear my lighters clicking.

I even. I even rolled the pipe.

I don’t think I’ve had a dream about that specific action before.

For those of you who hopefully DONT smoke meth, basically when you’re hitting the pipe you’re supposed to roll it back and forth to produce more vapor and not burn your shit.

Usually in my dreams the actual act of hitting the pipe is a lot more vague and dreamlike.

But last night, it was detailed to the point of me sitting there and rolling my pipe as I hit it. And I remember as soon as my brain clicked like “oh right im supposed to roll this”, a shit ton more vapor filled the bubble and I got a HUGE hit.

I even felt kind of high. Or as high as my brain could simulate based on memories.

But the intimacy of the secrecy was unbearable. I was lying to my mom in that dream. Trying to lie and lie and hide what I was doing. Sneaking off to places to be alone for long enough to get in a hit or two.

I could feel the bulge of my pipe in my jean’s pocket. Just like when I was really using. Worrying about if anyone could make out the shape.

I was fully convinced that. I had actually relapsed. In the dream, I mean. I was thinking about how this was it. I fucked it all up. 10 months of sobriety, gone. I was battling with myself over if I was gonna try to stop or just say fuck it and go on a bender.

I was still trying to make up my mind when i finally woke up.

[slasherrcentral]

Don’t Fear The Reaper — Bo Sinclair. (18+)

Summary: after getting sent on a work related business trip in the dead of summertime, your car overheats and you’re left with no other choice but to pull off at a truck- stop. and when a disarming southern stranger offers to help you out, you’re inclined to accept, in absolutely no position to decline his hospitality. but in hindsight, you should’ve turned tail and ran like the wind.

Notes: filth, absolute degradation, nothing but. i dont know where the inspiration for this actually stemmed from, but i’m such a slut for mechanic beauregard. this is heavily a noncon story, there WILL be sexual assault below the cut. please do proceed with caution. trigger warnings galore!!! you’re getting fucked in a disgusting bathroom. also, reader is thick asf. also, yes, all my stories WILL be this long. i like details, what can i say?

Dedications: @bosinclairz @ventiswampwater @leewalkin @visceravalentines 🫶🏻

Warnings: sexual assault under the cut, abuse, foul language, spit eating and blood, dub con, non con, forced orgasm. please be mindful of your trigger’s and proceed with caution.

The summer air was thick and heady — both windows down, radio cranked up, good spirit in your veins. This was your last chance to prove yourself to the ignorant, arrogant man that you had the misfortune of referring to as your boss. He was a royal pain in your ass, and it seemed like he got off on making you fidget.

Your last chance to move up within’ a highly publicized company that you’ve dedicated your very blood, sweat and tears into, since you graduated high school. You’d eagerly jumped at the opportunity — wanting to show them that you’re more than another name, that you’re worth something even when your boss recommended someone prettier and skinnier to go in your place. You packed a bag within’ the hour—pencil skirt scratching your thigh’s, and bid farewell to your loved ones, all of whom couldn’t be more proud, and neither could you. Your outfit was tight, constricting your airflow to your cushy stomach — but you forced yourself not to care, forced yourself to feel pretty for once, a little bit of fat wasn’t going to deter you from success just ahead of you, waiting with open and welcoming arms. There’s nothing that could stop you, not now.

Well, maybe a sputtering engine could. Cursing, your hands found the steering wheel and pounded. This is exactly your luck, your car giving out on you, halfway through your six hour drive. You couldn’t believe it, it seemed possible. How was this your luck? And when pillowy, black clouds of thick smoke came from your engine, you knew it was reality. This was happening, your vehicle was about to fucking explode. Glancing around frantically, you saw a sign for a rest/truckers stop, lurking about half a mile down the road. It was unclear whether or not you would make it but you’re going to try, hitting the gas pedal, throwing on head hazard lights. You’d careened slowly to the trucker’s stop, sighing in relief once you pull into a safer spot; thanking the sweet lord above that you didn’t get in some sort of fatal accident along the way.

Cursing, you threw open your door and stepped out, slamming it shut behind you with fervor. You were a rabid dog, pulling at your hair and baring your white teeth, pulling open the hood of your car. You’d been watching your father working on vehicle’s since you could babble the word mama, and you had come to observe and learn quite a few things along the way; including what an overheating engine sounded like. Sputtering out a cough as grease and tar overcame every sense in your body, you backed away quickly, waving your hand to rid the smoke.

Glancing down at the damage, you were immediately sent into a panic. You raced back into your front seat, where your phone sits idly in the center console. You didn’t know if you’d get a signal through or not, your hands were beginning to shake, but it’s worth a shot, worth a long shot in the dark. Pacing, you dialed 911, only to be greeted with white static noise. You could imagine your boss telling your supervisor that you’re unreliable, that he knew this was going to happen. It gnawed a deep, black hole into your ambitious core; chipping away with a digging tool until you’re hollow, withering away like a flower in the sunshine that was deprived of water for too long. And when a rumbling, southern drawl echoed from behind you, you almost screamed out to whatever god was listening.

The phone dropped from your hands, forgotten onto black pavement. The man threw both of his hands in the air, taking two solid steps backwards. You would have badgered him to get away from you but after a glance in his direction, you’re left speechless. There couldn’t be a doubt that he was beautiful - rigid jaw pointed and prominent, deep blue eyes captivating, brown curls peeking out from beneath his old, blue trucker’s cap. Grease was staining his fingers, nails chipped and dirty. Your guard came down but only some, apologies echoing from chapped lips. When nights mellowed into mornings- and push came to shove, you’re a real sucker for blue eyes.

“You scared the shit outta me,” You breathed, “I’m so sorry for squealing at you like that, probably sounded like a stuck pig.” Sweat lined your brow and the tight, constricting collar of your button up shirt. Your chest, busty and the cause of your two undone buttons, are certainly not missed by the stranger before you. And with most men, you’d be inclined to tell them to take their eyes and shove them up their own ass, but that damned mop of unruly curls made you decide not to. What’s the wrong that could come of it, anyway? His genuine concern seemed … well, genuine.

“Don’t bother me none,” He flashes a wolffish grin in your direction, “Noticed ‘yer havin’ some car trouble, anythin’ that I could do to help ‘ya out?” That accent wasn’t missed, made you weak in the knees, made it rather hard to form a proper sentence. You nod, with your chin jutting towards the hood where smoke has started to bellow from the seams. He whistled, high- pitched and sudden like he was calling a mutt home, making you jump out of your skin once again. When tension seemed to fill the air he filled in blank space, honey-coated smiles and coos within’ moments. It’s ironic now, how naive you’d been at the time, seeing absolutely no reason for distrust. Why else would he have stopped on the side of the road in a half-assed trucker’s rest stop, if not to lend a hand? Stupid girl, should’ve known better, could’ve called up a nearby towing station and gotten the hell outta dodge.

Carefully inching closer, as if not to startle you again; he’d closed the distance in between you both, brown work boots hitting the pavement with soft thuds as a strong, thick hand came down to grasp the car hood before yanking it up with a careful precision that had peaked your curiosity, wondering how many different occasions that he’s had to do this before. After you’d caught yourself staring at his hand’s and the big, red pendant novelty ring on his finger, you opted to clear your throat and take a few steps back from the thick, black tendrils that bellowed from the engine. And as you’re looking back on it now, you should’ve noticed how his eyes never left your bare legs or how his wet, pink tongue ran across his top lip after you had bent down to collect your phone from the ground.

“That’s a damn shame, cher.” He tuts, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth. “Engine’s sputterin’ like hell, surprised that ‘ya even made it this far out. From the city, I mean, by the looks of that get-up.” A glance was thrown in your direction, starting from your heels and working up to your pencil skirt and button blouse, stopping at your hair that you’d pulled into a tight bun and was perched high on top of your head. Oil stained fingers itched to reach up and pull at the strands until your scalp scorched and burned. He smiled at you, an open and inviting grin, satan’s den in the form of man. That smile never quite reached his eyes.

“That obvious, huh?” You chortled, “My asshole boss sent me out here, told me it wasn’t a far trek, guess it was a little bit further than I’m prepared for.” Your car, nicknamed ‘ole bessie, has been passed down to you from your older brother and was at least fifteen years old. But judging from the stranger’s beaten up, filthy truck, you could guess that his was even older. He is smirking at you now, lopsided and amused. And you blushed—opting to chew on your bottom lip instead, breaking eye contact.

“Got some coolant in ‘mah truck. Once the engine has time to cool on down, that should do the trick.” He has pulled a cigarette out of the front pocket of his stained, dark blue mechanic’s jumpsuit. Cocking an eyebrow at you — he holds the crumpled, soft pack out in offering, and you accepted with a soft ‘thank you kindly.’ Its not very often that you indulged in smoking, but in light of your current predicament, you found it hard to say no. After lighting his up, he took two large strides forward, holding the lighter under the cancer stick for you. He’s stolen another glance down your blouse, too, seems it didn’t matter to him if you’d noticed or not. You had to admit, at the time, you’d found it extremely attractive; having never really been ogled so unabashedly before.

“I really appreciate this,” You express, “Didn’t have to stop and help. I have some money in purse that I can give you for your troubles.” You were about to go and grab your purse from the front seat — eager to show gratitude for his kindness in any-way possible, but a thick, ringed hand shot out to catch your wrist.

“Won’t be necessary, darlin’. Momma raised herself a gentleman, don’t take money from pretty girls.” He is beaming at you, cigarette tucked between his canine teeth and low, honeyed voice softer than before. You didn’t realize you were blushing until he has stepped around you, walking towards his own truck, in hopes he’d be able to locate the fluid that your car needed; adjusting his cap on his head, showcasing chestnut brown curls that framed the nape of his neck. You’d assumed that he wanted you to stay put so you did, puffing on the cigarette to ease your nerves. Rifling through his truck bed, you could hear some swears leaving his lips — brow’s furrowed in concentration, smoke curling around his chiseled, scarred jaw-line. Briefly, you wondered how he’d gotten it.

You stubbed the cigarette out beneath your pumps, sated for the time being. You’d catch those piercing eyes, from time to time, flicking back to you. You’re positive that he could tell you’re still on edge. What doesn’t help matters either is the comment he had made, calling you pretty. It’s wasn’t often that folks called you pretty and when they did, it was with an intention of getting into your pants. Nothing more- nothing less. But, there was something about him, something that made his crude gestures flattering. Butterflies erupted in your stomach.

Holding up a bottle of coolant, the stranger sauntered back over to you, flicking his smoke onto the black tar, leering victoriously. You sighed in relief, thanking your lucky stars. Because if it wasn’t for this man, you’d be rowing up shit’s creek without a paddle.

“Forgettin’ my manners. Names Bo,” He was pressing past you and setting out to work on your engine, now that your car had time to cool down. When he leaned over, you couldn’t help but notice marred, pink scars, decorating both of his wrists. Looked painful, like his appendages throbbed and ached. “This oughta help, have ‘ya back out on the road within’ the next hour.”

“I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you,” You’re smiling, “Is Bo short for something? I don’t mean to pry,” You were genuinely curious and attempting to make a decent conversation, seems like you’re going to be here for quite a while longer— if what he said held any truth.

“Beauregard,” He retorted from over his shoulder, “I didn’t like it much growin’ up, don’t mind it now. But your name, now that’s a mighty fine name. Suits you, sugar. I’m just about done here, too.”

All of the pet names were throwing you for a tail spin, disarming you before you even realized it. That’s the thing about serpents - they wait for the right time to strike, the most opportune moment. And now when you’d remember this day- you’d remember just how easy it was to talk to him. How there was no tension, awkwardness or regret hanging in the air. And more than anything else, you remember hoping he might offer to take you out on a date or ask for your phone number. Stupid, stupid fucking girl.

He asked you about your job, about your friends and your family. He listened intently as you spoke, telling this perfect stranger your life’s story. He chuckled at jokes you made, told you a little bit about just where he’s from, told you that he’s an active mechanic.

“If you don’t mind, I’m gonna run to the restroom real quick. Wait here for me?” You bat your eyelashes, and send him your most charming simper. You hoped that might convince him to wait before heading out on the road again, so you would have the chance to give him your cell phone number. Much to your delight - it had worked out in your favor. He tipped his cap to you like some good ‘ole southern boy, leaning against the old, rusted exterior of his vehicle.

“I’ll be right here, sugar. Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing.”

You felt like you were walking on air on your way to the nearest restroom. It was getting dark quickly and your boss was going to ream your ass whenever you finally making it to the hotel tonight, ready to be up early for the conference that was going to change your life. It’s safe to say that time was of the essence. The air in the restroom was rabid—and you fought the urge to close your fingers over your nose as the door slammed shut behind you. When you turned to lock the door, there’s nothing there. Just an old, rusted latch, fucking great. Oh well, you shouldn’t be long at all.

After relieving yourself, you stood in front of the sink and grimy mirror. Your hair was becoming disheveled in this thick Louisiana heat, your mascara was smudged, there was a sheen of sweat on your chest and brow. It wasn’t missed by you just how badly your chest could be seen, rippling through the buttons and standing at proud attention. Jesus Christ, you looked like a whore, no wonder this man stopped to help you out after you looked like a picture of perfect filth. After washing the grime from your normally pristine hands—it was then that the flimsy wooden door rattled. You jumped, you gripped the sink in surprise. When it happened again, you were inclined to squeak out a response.

“Um, I’m in here! Sorry, I’ll be done soon.” Quickly, you began drying your hands and making a quick break for the door. Hopefully, the handsome stranger would still be waiting for your arrival. But after the door slammed opened, and you screamed, you realized that he could not be waiting for you back at his truck. Because he is right in front of you, and he’s snarling, and he doesn’t even look like same person anymore. You were frozen, eyes wide and lips trembling, backing up into the sink. What was happening? You couldn’t think straight, but before you even had the chance to question, Bo kicks the door shut with the back of his brown boot, top lip curled up like the sight of you disgusted him and also enraptured him all at the same time.

“W-what are you doing in here, Bo?” Your heart rate is picking up now, pulse going off the charts. You look at your surroundings and there was nowhere to go— you were trapped like a caged animal. Your cell phone was back out in your car, nobody knew where the hell your vehicle was stranded at and you didn’t have a weapon close by to defend yourself with. There was absolutely nothing standing between you and him. You began to cry, you weren’t a moron— you knew what he wanted. You should’ve known what he wanted earlier.

“It’s real cute how dumb you girls get.” He takes a step forward, eyes glinting. “Tell me darlin’, did you think i’d just let ya flash those fat tits at me and not do anythin’ about it? ‘Yer in my parish, sweetheart. Nothin’s free.”

“Let me leave. Please,” You pleaded with him, “Please, you’re scaring me. I don’t want this,” You backed into a corner, jolting when you hit the wall, putting two hands up to press against his chest when he closed in on you, beginning to panic. You pictured him taking you out on the town, bringing flowers to your door, pressing a soft kiss to your lips when the night came to an end. This is not what you wanted, not how you wanted it, not what you were expecting. You’d been fooled, the mask is off now and he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing, waiting for the right time to attack the unsuspecting rabbit.

“You wound me, darlin’. Makin’ them eyes at me, skirt ridin’ up them big ole’ thighs. What did ‘ya really think was gonna happen? Didn’t your parents ever teach ya not to be takin’ candy from strangers?” Bo mocked, a cruel pout forming on his lips.

His breath fanned in your face. Sweet and smoky, like mint gum and cigarettes. His rough, calloused hand’s moved from the supple flesh of your hips, to your ass, and then up to your tits, where he squeezed until you thought they’d burst under his iron tight grip. His lips were on your neck now, where he bites harshly at the sensitive skin under your ear. You squealed and push against him, nails clawing at his mechanic’s suit and raking down the right side of his face, where blood’s drawn and slowly blossoming to the surface.

The formidable man pinning you against the wall let a pained hiss escape his lips, bringing two fingers up to survey the damage done to his pretty face. And when those fingers returned to his line of sight, glistening a crimson red, his smirk disappeared in moments, with something similar to rage taking over his features.

Grabbing a fistful of your hair, pressing your head back against the mucky wall — his knee pressed in between your legs and resting solidly against your clothed cunt, which had bile rising in your throat and an unwelcome heat pooling in your stomach, he smacked you across the face before you had the chance to plead for mercy, so hard that little while specks began to dance around your vision. Your lip busted open, you could feel it and the gravity of your predicament begins setting in. You cried out in pain, couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t stop white hot terror from bubbling up in your gut. You did not stop pushing against his chest, the sound of your expensive pumps scraping against the floor as you’re trying desperately to gain enough leverage to punch, scratch or claw at him, any fucking thing to get away.

“P-please, stop! Don’t hurt me,” You blubber, “Just let me go, I won’t say anything to anyone! I swear it,” You understand how you it sounded, but you’re so scared; worried that he planned to do more than just a simple smack across the face. You’re effectively sobbing and both of your hands are grasping at his shirt collar, like he’d anchor you to the ground. Bo snickered at you, a menacing and complex sound. Leaning forward, he’s licking the warm and salty moisture that is gathering from his cruel treatment off of both cheeks. And you, making a noise of disgust, flinched when his lips had grazed over the spot where he just smacked you.

And when both of his hands came up to tug your shirt from your body so hard that button’s went flying in all sorts of directions, hitting the dirty floor with a clatter, you’re certain that you might melt into the floor. That sickening tear of fabric would be embedded into your memory for the rest of your life, the glint in his ocean blue hues when he see’s your nipples standing at full attention through the thin fabric of your bra. You had your arms crossed over your chest, your eyes welling with fresh tears, your entire frame shaking like a leaf. Fingers came forward to grab both of your sensitive, stiffened nipples in a vice grip and pull. It hurt badly, stinging like wasps and hot like fire.

“S-stop! Get away from me, fucking psycho!” You’re making a move to head for the door, having used the leverage from your leg against his thigh to push hard against his chest and send him into the sink. You got your fingers wrapped around the doorknob — barely, before he descended on you again. The hair that you spent hours doing this morning was mulled between meaty fingers, nails digging into your scalp painfully, your head snapping backwards and a hand crashing over your mouth to stop the screams from releasing.

“Little fuckin’ bitch,” He panted gruffly into your hair, “Where ‘ya think you’re goin’, hm? There ain’t no one comin’ round these parts after dark. It’s you and me, sugar, ain’t that sweet? ‘M gonna fill ‘ya up so good.”

You were back against the wall—this time your face is smushed against it uncomfortably and your plea’s for mercy are garbled under the weight of his hand. Your attempting to bite him, but he’s got your sore mouth clasped so tightly that you could hardly open it. He’s ripping your bra from your body, using enough of his strength to tear the straps from your skin. His hands were all over your chest, the skin spilling through his fingers. His erection was firm against the prominent, fleshy swell of your ass through your skirt. His knees were pressed against the back of your thigh, forcing your legs apart. You’re still sobbing, he doesn’t care.

“Wish I could take a nice, big bite out of these yummy tits, darlin’. Would die a happy man.” Bo was pinching, pulling and twisting your nipples. And when he finally gets his fill of berating your chest with calloused and bluecollar fingers, he then bit down on your shoulder, making you squeal under his assault and underneath the weight of his hand. He kept his teeth locked onto the junction of your collarbone and your throat as he used this opportunity to shove your skirt down. Your haze diminished then, and you were back to fighting against his hold, screaming against his palm despite how exhausted you were.

“Shut the fuck up, girl.” Bo cooed softly into your ear, breath fanning against the nape of your neck. Those words were said so softly, so sternly, that one might assume he was trying to soothe a child who has just thrown a temper tantrum. “Wouldn’t wanna have to rough up this beautiful fuckin’ face some more now, would we, sugar? Already bruisin’ like a little peach.”

You cowered, reduced to nothing but horrified mewls, your knees wobbling in place as he makes quick work out of sliding the hand that was not clasped over your mouth down the front of your belly, stopping to fiddle with the fat and squeeze it for a moment, before long and calculated fingers delved underneath the elastic waistband of your black, lace panties. When he finds your clit with ease, you shriek at the sudden contact, nerve endings alight as he begins to stroke slow and precise circles around your button.

“So fuckin’ soft,” Bo muttered, “And wet, too. Gonna have this cunt creamin’ all over me in no time, darlin’, that I can promise ‘ya.” In one, swift move, he forced your panties down around your knees. You heard the sound of his metal belt clinking, he took his hand off your mouth to slip it off easier, and then proceeds to fasten your hands at the small of your back, with the rough leather biting against your wrists. You were so violated, so exposed. He was not even going to prep you, he was just going to fuck you, to strip away the dignity you’d spent so long building up inside.

You heard the sound of him spitting into his hand, and you felt the thick head of his cock prodding up against your entrance. You stiffened, lower lip trembling, wide- eyes waiting for him to make his next move. You could not fucking believe this was happening to you, right in the middle of a disgusting bathroom, out in bum-fuck nowhere. Would you ever be the same again? Would it eat away at you until there was nothing left? That was, unless he decided to kill you when he was done. Both hands restricted, face smashed against the wall, your eyes red and puffy- all you could do was wait now for inevitable circumstances.

When Bo pressed sheathed inside of you, burying his cock to the hilt in one fluid movement that sent little, disturbing sparks down your spinal cord and into the very tips your toes, you let a strangled groan escape; your body attempting to adjust to his thickness. The pool of drool that gathered at the corner of your lips, which you didn’t even know was there, began falling down your jaw and onto your chest. He growled and snapped your head back by your locks again, licking your spittle from your jawline and sensitive neck.

“That’s a good fuckin’ cunt right there,” Bo proclaimed, “Fuckin’ tight. Squeezin’ me so good. It’s milkin’ me for all I’m worth, sweet thing. ‘Ya like that?” His hips found a steady, deep rhythm that made you hiss out through clenched teeth. He was not fucking you hard— not yet, but he was fucking you thoroughly. Your fingers flexed in their binds. The snap, snap, snap of his hips had the most inhuman sounds coming out of your mouth, you were pleading for him to stop and to get away, but it’s also safe to say that a helpless moan or two slip.

“You’re sick in the fucking head.” You spat at him from your place against the wall, words distorted and angry, neck shining with sweat. One hand is on your hipbone, the other knotted in your hair, hips stilling against you. He grinds into your core, chest vibrating with pleasure, circling his hips in a way that has you seeing stars. It’s disgusting that a part of him feels good, he was trying to find that special spot deep inside of you, you could feel the tip of his cock prodding around your guts.

“Says you, sugar. Drippin’ down your thighs right now, gettin’ me all sloppy and wet back here.” And then, Bo was fucking you in earnest. Pounding into your pussy, hips colliding violently with the back of your trembling legs, animalistic grunts in your ear. You were no virgin, but you’d never been taken like this before. It terrified you, it consumed you, it awoken you. “That’s it, that’s what good, dumb little city girls like you do. Take that fuckin’ cock. All ‘yer good for, anyways.”

Your eyes were rolling into the back of your skull, your wrists were raw and red, your flesh rippled with every soul-crushing thrust. In a move that horrified you, he moved his hand from your hair to your neck, latching around the skin and constricting like a snake. He had never relented his brutal pace, punishing you for sins that you’ve never committed. Using that leverage on your neck, he pulled you from the wall and slammed your shattered body down onto the sink, forcing the hues of your eyes to meet his own in the mirror. You thrashed against him. You didn’t want to look at the inhuman creature doing this to you, and you did not want to look at yourself being fucked like this.

Bo was a man possessed. His curls are damp with the sweat from your struggle, curling around his neckline, sticking to his forehead. His eyebrows were furrowed, and highlighted deep, sensual lines in his forehead. A pink tongue was caught tight between white teeth. It didn’t help to close your eyes, he’d only squeeze your neck even harder until you opened them. He brought his free hand down on your left ass cheek in vigorous succession, six times in a row, and you preened back against him when the tip of his cock found that spot, wailing at the newfound pain in your backside. Thick, hot fingers hooked into your mouth, preventing your mouth from emitting any sound and you’re drooling.

“Christ, shut the fuck up.” Bo sneered at you through the reflection in the grimy mirror. His fingers were on that patch of skin between your hips and your thighs, gripping the skin so roughly that you’re certain there would be bruises from his assault. “Bustin’ that cunt wide open and all ‘ya can do is fuckin’ whine about it. Pathetic little fuckin’ whore.”

He tightened the leather felt around your wrist, using that leverage to lean back and drill into your weeping pussy at an angle that had your mouth popping open, tears streaming down your cheeks, a litany of prayers and curses tumbling from your mouth inhibited, now hidden behind the salty skin of his digits. He chuckles, seemingly pleased by your shameful slurs of pleasure.

“Oh, fuck!” You groaned, your shoulders aching from the stretch inflicted on your muscles. Your own body betrayed you, your orgasm was looming- your pussy practically weeping around his cock. You were close, undeniably close to coming. Three more of his hard, deliberate thrusts and you’d be flying off the handle. When his hand left your mouth to brutally rub tight, constricted circles on your clit with your own saliva, you’d gushed around him with a strangled shout.

“Downright pissin’ on me, sugar.” Bo sounded just as gone as you were, Louisiana accent thicker than ever, “Gonna fill ya up, girl, gonna make a mess inside you. Never gonna forget about me, city slicker. ‘Yer gonna have a nice husband one day, layin’ down in a big ole bed, touchin’ that perfect cunt to the thought of me, knowin’ you’ll never feel like this again.”

You were a warbling, drooling mess by the time he did spurt rope after rope of his spend inside your wet hole, holding you in place and cursing aloud, teeth bared. It was a sight to behold. You were grotesque, you felt so vile and so degraded and so used. Bo releases both of your hands from the loop of his belt, and you collapse, falling to the ground and assuming a fetal position.

It seemed to amuse him, because he smirked down at you, taking the heel of his boot and shoving your body onto your back so he could loom above you — so your looking up at him, directly into those murderous eyes.

“Get up, darlin’. Turns out, ‘yer engines shot to shit. I’m gonna have to take ‘ya on back to town with me, about twenty five miles out. It’s ‘yer lucky night, sugar, gonna give you the grand tour of a little town called Ambrose.”

#bo sinclair #brian van holt #horror #slasher #house of wax #bo sinclair brain rot #bo sinclair x reader #gore #blood #dubcon #house of wax 2005 #house of wax fanfiction

[youabandonedthem]

hey @ottiliere i ilke your dirk au i hope is ok that i put some of my headcanons into it. in my comic slick gets dragged to the psych ward so i thought a crossover where they meet would be awesome.  if you keep reading here is some of my speculation on what they could do together

 in this roommates scenario it is impossible for dirk to really ignore him like he can do with other patients. and if we say in a context where they're not both being tormented/put into comas by seroquel something very interesting can happen .

like even if dirk is rude and irritable and deliberately tries to get him to fuck off tihs is obviously not off putting to slick in the slightest. for multiple reasons. one because hes a rough mobster and thats him but mostly in this scenario he's like "ok fuck it im in the nuthouse for the time being and it's injustified and the people here are gonna be a little quirky but there is a chance they share my situation." the other patients are scared of/used to slick (they know who he is) so they pretty much ignore him if he tries to preach his truth or talk them up. or like i can see some entertaining his need to chat but just saying stuff like "sure Slick.." "yeah..." trying not to encourage his insane thoughts. so he eventually stops bothering/trusting them since they dont get it. the rest he has deemed too actually crazy for his company. e.g. he meets another schizophrenic individual and they have DIFFERENT "beliefs" or they have hallucinations so hes like get away from me psycho. (his diagnosis is FAKE!!!) hes caught on to the fact that the more he talks to the nurses the longer he has to stay. so hes so fucking bored and has had no one to REALLY talk to outside of occasional crew visits for a while now. so once dirk arrives he would take an extreme interest in both him and little cal and try to take him under his wing because hes pretty much just a kid who simply "did not draw the best cards" in slicks eyes. And i think while he's talking at dirk and sharing things such as the BULLSHIT reason hes there... random details about his life...a mutual interest could possibly begin once he learns that this completely schizo ass carapace bug man is a crimelord mafia boss. plus it possibly appeals to him that slick doesnt seem to mind his "mannerisms" . plus slick starts teaching him how to game the nurses so he can get out faster

they can possibly...sort of... bond over self harm although they do it for very different reasons. slick does not care about cutting his skin open to prove a point but essentially he thinks nothing of things like cutting any part of his body open using various tools just to achieve whatever goal he thinks it will solve. he doesnt like pain but doesnt flinch very hard . I think if he sees dirk having successfully found a way to cut his wrists in the room he would watch and htink "this kid is fucked" but not intervene or report besides probably asking him wtf hes doing the first time. if dirk gives him a rude or non - answer he just asks him how hes planning to hide it from the nurses. after that he accepts it and hes like ok sure. (addendum slick just angrily tells him to knock that shit off unless he wants to stay in crazy town for another month. he starts treating it like he treats droog smoking ...knocking the razorblade out of his hands etc. i am not sure at what point hed stop bothering. i think it is a matter that hed BEGIN bothering once he starts thinking dirk needs his help..perhaps in the first/second instance he did not intervene) BUT if he saw dirk slamminghis head on the wall he would be like heey the fuck? whoa whoa whoa thats your brain case kid are you trying to go retarded? he begins feeling responsible. (it is them vs the Nurses and Doctors in this sick sick building) also i think dirk would just do these things in the room once hes assessed that slick (at the bare minimum) wouldnt tell on him. this is after theyre all buddy buddy . Mostly i'm talking about slick's end as to present it with the knowledge i have and not make any DIRK ASSUMPTIONS !

theyowuld possibly even help each other try to escape they could even fucking succeed ...slick would fashion lethal weapons for both of them out of various shit he found/stole and dirk would take one although i dont think he would use it .slick would be showing him stabbing motions using his shank and dirk can teach him his dirk tricks . They would make it together and get to the outside world and never see each other ever again. this is really the circumstance of two completely unrelated characters put in the same cage and forced to work together. but i think it would work

dirk would really be the one trying to tolerate slick for a long time before he warms up to him a little if at all . slick is so fucking lonely that he doesnt care what the fuck dirk does plus hes way older so he has control of the dynamic really. maybe his crude earnesty appeals to dirk but hes also overly aware how insane and delusional slick is but they do form this alliance. i am also thinking they could have some "art" connection which would be honestly kind of cute and funny if dirk is drawing very IRONIC offputting work for a bit and if slick were to be present he would gesture to take his pen andthen casually draw huge boobs/COCK and/or a really shitty caricature of dirk onto the page with emphasis on his huge bleeding wrists and the glasses. I think this would be a defining moment that is literally only ever possible in this context ever . it is a testament to their trapped animal mentality.

Hypothetical drawing by slick

basically it is like arranged marriage. theywouldnt even give each other the time of day or look at each other more than a few seconds if they were not roommates in crazy town. PLUS slick has been trying to be a good boy unlike dirk so maybe he has more privileges eg pointy objects so he could enable dirk to draw in the first place. or he steals the pen for him. also slick would be stealing dirk extra pudding cups from the cafeteria (he just grabs them off of other peoples trays) upon seeing how horrifically bony he is. hes like: kid youre scrawny as fuck. anyone feed you at home? and i dont think dirk would have any response to this question he would turn away and stop talking to slick.

the topic of interest: their viewpoints of each other and what their relationship could actually be...defined as. there is much to consider here. if this narrative had one ultimate point to display i think that it would be the nature of transient relationships. and this showcases a lot the disparity of their different perspectives. (below) 

>slick's pov. obviously he knows the ways of this world and a good idea of the relations he has and wants to keep unlike dirk. he has nothing hed label as a"friendship" but he has deep connections. let's say his age range translated to human terms is mid - late 30s not for official purposes but like experience/maturity(?) wise. (i debated whether he could be entering his 40s but slick is not that mature really... 40s is like settling down wife n kids. at least this works for this specific instance) obvy he is still a triple digits age chitinous bug creature. ANYWAY... at first dirk is just some kid whos providing him entertainment in this dull schizo jail. but he realises they can help each other out here. (the event that prompts this is probably when dirk tries to fight security and gets bootyjuiced) it's reminiscent of the karkat alliance ...they have a common goal which is gettingthe fuck out without any setbacks. slick possibly had an escape plan (serpentine like his heists) in the midst of hatching prior to dirks arrival but you see he has a 'crew' mentality. the only plan he came up with is missing a vital second person to help carry it out. (or he had a really shitass solo plan with a small chance of working out that he was going to try if he got DESPERATE. the key thing is he wouldn't want to do anything he thinks wouldnt work because again he specialises in heists which NEED to go well with everything accounted for. but he was honestly on the verge of trying it...until dirk came along and changed his life)

but like hes still not exactly 'using' dirk he does connect and see value in him as a companion due to all the aforementioned scenarios and this is why he chooses him as the worthy candidate for his PLAN. this is what causes him to feel that 'responsibility' for him i would think. not through any kind of paternal instinct but the same obligation that caused him to try to comfort karkat that one time when he was crying (and then start slapping the shit out of him). i mean i dont want to call it paternal...but he realises that he is THE adult in this situation and the only one 'in charge' of this kid in a way. also hes uncomfortable with displays of emotion/mental illness so if his most basic awkward attempt to fix it doesn't work he just starts using force (as displayed in the karkat example). this would encapsulate his reaction towards dirk self harming. ok the point is he sees it like this: they are together to help each other. and then it's a done deal. then they'll both fuck off to their 'normal lives' he figures. if he ever saw him agian of course hed be like oh its that kid. fuck was his name...Dick? but that's really it for slick. nothing deeper. now DIRK ON THE OTHER HAND... 

>DIRK MODE. it is not really that he 'hates' people and people hate him there is more like an absence of meaningful connection. or connection altogether. his friend is a doll . if this is the first time in 20ish years anyone has actually shown they respect him as an equal this encounter is going to impact him for the rest of his life. and not only would he likely use slicks treatment of him as his baseline for future possible relations but he would also become sort of obsessed with him after this whole thing is done.he has literally no one else. like maybe he doesnt even realise it at first until theyve parted ways and he goes back to wherever he lives and hejust sits there with little cal and little cal does not talk back to him. and it hits him. it's like the dark gritty version of the hero's journey..he went to the other world and was given a tool towards realisation. and now hes just back in his shit reality . but it is important that obviously this singular encounter cannot undo anything he learned over 20+ years. but he got a taste of something novel that he thought only existed for other people.(?) or was played up for fiction even . but it was real. he knows slick was crazy and did awful heinous crimes for fun. but he was nice(?) to him and helped him and wanted to be around him . there is really nothing that will be able to change his mind about this.

hegoes through life that is identical to what he had before the psych ward and whoever he encounters treats him the same uncaring way as they did before (or potentially worse/with more pity or judgment if theyre aware of his stay) and this time he thinks about how slick didnt judge him for anything and actually cared about him . he did not stare at his arms with fear/pity like other ppl do. everything what slick did for him gets played up in his mind. the brand of pudding he stole for him sticks out at the store. he sees unabashed schizo shit online and it reminds him of slicks occasional rants. he sees criminal activity reported in the paper and wonders if it was slick's crew (he mentioned the existence of his crew...Or imagine if it was visiting time and slick brought dirk along to meet them at one point...this cna be expanded on) 

i feel like this may help lead him into a dangerous situation in the future depending on how it develops. ok another important factor is slick's age relative to him. dirk possibly hypothesises that slick is around the age of mister dave.(this can mean something if you want it to) PLUS any other actual adults who were in his life (teachers..dave...anyone else) just treat him completely like a child. this could result in something interesting..the way that slick regarded him as an equal (at least in dirks perception) and was way older. i think whatever he takes away from this will fuck him over.

additionally i think it is possible he couldget desperate again for what the psych ward symbolised for him and he pulls a supremely bad suicide attempt that is guaranteed to fail for literal attention. he gets warded again but of course slick isnt there and hes just alone there like in original dirk psychward context. except this time he completely feels the emptiness. and hhis radical attempt try to attain it again just didnt work.

but i also think a second chance encounter years after this incident would truly highlight the differences in their mentalities . based on my dirk knowledge  i think he would not try to show any feelings and regard slick very casually even though his mind would be on the verge of collapse . a lot would depend on the span of time and what happened in between ofcourse and if he was given the opportunity to meet...anyone else... or develop any more social skills at all. additionally i think what your expertise would know the answer to is if he would try to seek out slick deliberately and to what degree. also if the second meeting happened and it was shitty i think hed just go kill himself. like hed buy a gun so it would work this time. it is also up to your discretion how dirk thinks slick remembers him in a direct selfaware comparison to how he regards slick. maybe he would be realistic/self deprecating about it i mean it would make sense because nobody else truly values him and he probably figures that this extends to even his psych ward saviour.

So ya idk just some thoughts let me know wat you think

#slickdirk #hospital dirk #spades slick #dirk strider #homestuck #au #cool #self harm #crossover

[tabithatwo]

“Why do you keep watching the show if you hate it so much?”

Not publishing one of the asks because I’m not rewarding the bad behavior lmao but this is such a consistent refrain for me (still!) in asks AND reblogs AND comments etc and I’m gonna get real with you in hopes people chill out (not just in my inbox but in others), because last time I answered one of these it did slow for a while. This is going to be my don’t make me point to the sign post, I’m not going to talk about it again but I will likely reblog when it comes up.

I’m a nurse and I worked through the worst of covid. I’m not going to get into the details of that because ifykyk and if you don’t I can’t begin to describe how fucking horror movie trauma fest it was. Take whatever you’re imagining and multiply it by a hundred. I was working constantly in horrific conditions being retraumatized daily and having no way to deal with it AT ALL. I’ve had addiction issues in the past. I started smoking again. I could feel other shit trying to creep it’s way in.

Enter: yellowjackets. I hadn’t hyperfixated on a show or movie or book in years (since childhood really) but it CLICKED into place for me. So this show (plus writing for it—learning to write, having something to think about that was creative and not destructive because when you’re surrounded by death you start to feel destructive, practicing hours and hours a week) actually stepped in and took that place. I even stopped smoking cigarettes eventually.

Then my other favorite comes in: “actually you can enjoy things more if you stop obsessing over them”

I have adhd. My brain goes HARD. That’s literally NOT how my brain works. I LIKE obsessing over details. I don’t CARE if it’s meaning making from nothing. I intellectually UNDERSTAND when it is. I interact with the world this way. I promise you that I know the limitations, but I also promise you that it doesn’t ACTUALLY make my experience negative. I don’t think having critiques of things I’m obsessed with hurts my experience and quite honestly, I don’t have a BRAIN that has EVER allowed me to not think critically and analytically about ANYTHING. So I don’t know what I’m missing out on and I can’t just make myself experience it lmao like this is who I am! I’m used to operating this way and it’s my only setting tbh.

I DONT hate the show. I LOVE it. Like so very fucking much. I see a stark difference between s1 and s2, I personally liked the things in s1 that are not present in s2 more, I personally hope that s3 ties in some of the old theme, vibes, editing styles, and narrative build of s1. You do not have to agree, you can think they’re the exact same or even that s2 is 100x better. But I’m probably going to continue being hyperfixated on this show. I’m going to continue caring deeply. I’m going to continue analyzing deeply.

Is that healthy? I don’t care! I would rather be addicted to a tv show and writing about my little lesbians than actual substances! It positively impacts my life, even if I’m feeling a lot of disappointment right now. I’m upset because I care, I care because that’s how my brain is hardwired, and I wouldn’t want to change that if I tried because this show and learning to write and actually sticking to a healthy hobby for once in my life is really fucking amazing to me.

If you don’t like ever seeing any criticism of this show, I would invite you to ask yourself why it upsets you so much that you need to try and push someone into leaving their own space. If nothing comes to your mind or your heart or you simply don’t want to reflect, block my fucking blog. It’s a fucking button. Press it. You’re not going to make me shut up lmao trust me, I don’t function like that <3

#yellowjackets blogging #yellowjackets #cw addiction

[thedroloisms]

yes theres no doubt a large disparity esp on here when other communities outnumber this one in size. I mean to say the new wave over-saturates this behavior, when they all share the common mindset of "at least my guy is not as bad as that one" they conform to putting a controversy in the back of their mind because they never expect their guy to be subject to that limelight or little things that get dream lambasted for because they take part in it. Making sure their punching bag stays as that only punching bag. And seeing it happen to them is such a foreign thing to experience, so they have find ways to cope with it even if it means to drag a name that has nothing to do with the situation. It's my thought process at least that the critical thinking the general community adheres to will always be based on bias and malicious take-downs to make themselves seem better to a wider range beyond theirs. Its so naturally performative too, their statements have like a veneer of snarkiness to it that you can clock right away. Using "she didn't say anyone so we shouldn't speculate" and ignoring the deliberate details she dropped, makes empathy look like a smoke screen to deny or not talk about the person who everyone knows is in plain sight. I understand its a sensitive subject to most people but seeing the evidence of her spoken word be accused of being associated with leak stuff in order to blame something other than their guy is so disgusting. So thats why in this situation, seeing the stark differences as an observer, I can't help but laugh too otherwise I would go mad.

i'd say in my personal experience, older fans tend to be even worse about the "my guy is a good guy and better than dream" rhetoric specifically bc they cling to their experience in choosing "the right side" as giving them a moral high ground. a lot of said people are specifically even invoking dream's name in terms of decision-making in this situation, basically saying "ohhh this situation isn't like the dream situation, if it was like that then obviously i would've dropped him" or on the flip side being like "we can't be like dream fans, guys, we have to Drop Him and call him an awful inhuman monster #fuckmen" etcetera whatever. obviously there are plenty of problems with newer fans as well but i've seen pleeeenty of people acting in stupid ways who were specifically here for the allegations against dream in 2022 (including something i saw earlier which made me laugh a little bit - someone going "look i cant support abusers i used to be a dream fan but then the allegations dropped and i stopped supporting him because i didn't want to look bad :( i dont support will gold anymore but i will continue to draw wilbur soot" like ???? okay) - i feel like new fans are more of an issue bc they take this attitude from older fans and parrot and amplify it, but honestly i wouldn't really say new fans are the root of the issue (though obviously their lack of supporting a Bad Guy in the past factors into their superiority complexes in the present)

while there have been quite a few idiots making this situation about dream (some people outright accusing dream, though honestly i think those people were just trying to deflect the situation onto their favorite punching bag rather than making an actual accusation - and a lot more people bringing up the dream situation specifically to soothe their own complicated feelings because Obviously they care about victims and Obviously they care about holding Bad People accountable) - i feel like the majority of what i've seen from people other than the copium is just a lot of people going all :( support shelby #believevictims don't speculate, which is. wow. crazy to me as well to consider it leak to ... talk about literally publicly available information? like leaktwt is when you listen to music lyrics now i fucking guess.

you really, really do have to laugh, honestly. i didn't know what to expect from this situation but my god, i did NOT think it'd be this bad

#the askers #abuse

[kagejima]

TW: Drug use

Okay, okay so! Imagine you're like best friends with Tendou and, by default, are acquainted with Toshi. Anyway, I hc that Tendou is a stoner because, like, have you seen him? Anyway, Ushijima knows but doesn't really get the hype and doesn't partake but you do. The two of you get high together all the time and at one point Ushijima wants to hang out with Tendou but you two fucking hot boxed his room. And Ushi is like coughing and shit cause wow, that's a lot of fucking smoke. And, high brain thinks it's funny, so you're like "Hey, maybe if you smoked some you could loosen up a lil." And, lo and behold, he agrees. The first hit isn't the best, he immediately starts coughing more. You tell him there's a way of not coughing as much and he's like ?? So you explain shotgunning. And he's like !! cause he's lowkey always had a crush on you. So he's like "Sure" and you take a long hit and then place your hand on the back of his neck angling his head before slotting your lips together. He has to remind himself to breathe in or it's gonna be suspicious. Eventually Tendou uses up his but you have your own stash. Tendous all good so you leave and so does Ushi cause, he's a big guy, he hasn't felt the effects yet. You continue shotgunning at your house and eventually he gets all giggly and loses his fear. The next time you shotgun he doesn't pull away, he actually puts his hand on the back of your head. Of course you're like !! And obviously you're like "Probably shouldn't do this under the influence" but he's like "Please, I've wanted this for so fuckin long." And you're like "hhhhhh okay"

This man is RUTHLESS. Since he's under the influence he loses his willpower to stay gentle. So he manhandles you into the best possible position to use you however he wants. Then, without thinking, bottoms out almost immediately. You weren't expecting it but it feels so good that the moan ripped out of you is a high whine. It's the hottest thing Toshi has heard in his life and he loses it, he is a man on a mission. A mission to not only fuck you within an inch of your life but to ruin you for anyone else.

You're definitely sore the next day and you feel the burn. Your ass is bright red from the force behind his thrusts but he loves the sight. Anyway, after an awkward breakfast the two of you talk about it and he's like "I don't regret it, I'm only upset because I can't really remember it in detail." And you officially start dating and when Tendou finds out he's like "I fucking knew it, Shirabu pay up." Because the team was betting on how long it would take for one of you to finally make a move.

🍠

OKAY BUT... THE WAY I WANT TO ADD ON TO THIS... SO BAD

BUT I'VE NEVER HAD IT IN MY LIFE SO I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GO ABOUT WRITING IT :(((

it's not necessarily that i don't want to try it, more like i was never allowed to try it growing up religiously and now that i can, the opportunity has never presented itself except for the one time my partner's tattoo artist friend offered some to me and i got too nervous and excited at the same time and literally shouted "I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT" and he just looked at me like "Oh, sweet baby, sweet lil baby, must protecc" AND THAT WAS LIKE SEVEN YEARS AGO AND I HAVEN'T HAD ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY SINCE :(

BUT PLEASE, THIS IS SO FUCKING HOT HJFDASFSAFHSADJKLFDSJLKFHASDJKFHALSDFHS

#🎤: 🍠 anon is recording vocals #🎧: rae's artists

[raid3r-r4bbit]

someone broke into my apartment. I havent been on because the only thing i have that i can access the internet on is my work computer ( i can get into trouble for using even spotify on that) and my switch ( just got it last monday. in another situation id be ecstatic about getting a new game system, but right now im just glad i didnt leave it out in the open)

Firstly, sorry if the formatting weird, im not used to my new phone yet.

Secondly im sorry for the people who wanted drawings from me, im gonna try my best to recreate them and post them.

Thirdly, this is really fucking long, tldr, someone broke it, let one of my cats out stole my tablet, phone, and a bunch of my games so thats why i was gone. read for details? I guess? I wouldnt lol.

also fuck you theres typos, of course theres gonna be typos.

SO…

small town does not equal no crime. After the (insert wherever the power comes from) was fixed, it has some issues and shut down again a few days later. idk why. My rm and i decided to walk to the gas station for lunch, they had power, music, cold drinks and food, and bathrooms that have functioning lights. Our landlord said it would only be a few hours, so we used our backup battery packs ( yes the ones we’re only supposed to use for work or incase of emergency) to power a fan and opened a window (the little net thing closed) for the cats and left.

because we were only going to be away for an hour, i left my phone (by accident) and tablet on the couch. in plain view of the window.

well, we have a lot of college students who walk directly by out porch ( i even had a girl threaten to call the cops on me for smoking… on my own fuckin porch) and two other girls who decided it was public chatting place and were upset that interupted them wheni asked them to leave.)

we dont know if it was a college student, or someone else, called the cops and got it all sorted there wasnt much they could do ( figures)

they came in through the window, and we think they either left it open, or that Patches, one of my cats, got out when the opened it, because she was gone when we came home, and she liked to hang out by the window. Thankfully, miso hates going outside, and katsu is scared of everyone and hides when people come over. we still havent found patches. im not worried about her, she didnt really like us, she isnt declawed, and she was orginally an outdoor cat anyways. we left out food and water and liter for her, but if she comes back she comes back. ive lost enough animals not fret over it. (tbh if it was on of the other two id probably sob)

but whoever broke in stole a bunch of my game stuff. we dont think they even went into out bedrooms, cause nothing was out of place. it took me realizing some of out stuff, the cat and the askew window (what the fuck is that thing called??) to realize we’d been robbed. ( well me actually, my roomate keeps all his stuff in his room which is fair because other than HBO i pay for all the streaming services, and i (thankfully still have) 4 consoles, which wont fit in my tiny ass room.)

they took my phone and tablet. (not worried about the phone, it was some dinky burner phone) a package off our porch ( it was mario kart, i got a switch like last monday, and the only game i have is animal crossing. very fun. thankfully, id left it on my desk.) they also took a few of my games, thankfully i have duplicates of most of the ones they took and digital copies.

ironically, the version of TLOU and FO4 (i have 4 copies of fo4 including the digital copy) were the scratched up versions, they did take my copy of infamous for the ps3. and they also took my unopened copy of RDR2. so like, pricey items but the only thing im upset about are my tablet and my cat.

for those wanting the drawings i promised, i will still get them to you, thankfully i had a warranty on it and its getting replaced after the police finish whatever it is they say they do. ( doubtful) so it may take a hot minute.

however it also means i have to completely restart my issue 2 of my comic, as i hadn't saved the final pages and the wips anywhere other than my phone and tablet. personally, im frustrated, but it gives me a chance to change a few wee details and try out a style ive been thinking on.

so im probably not going to be super super active for the next few (idk how long, im sorry) but i will draw what i said i would.

As for patches, i told my mom if she comes back pregnant ( again -_-) that we are going to yeet her into a rocket to live with the martians, and get a new cat. (or if she doesnt come back. we work best with a three cat ratio) if its boy we are probably going to name him garbanzo. (this is mostly a joke, but she was intended to be temporary as a friend of mine couldnt keep her anymore and we had been looking for a home for her. surprisingly, nobody wanted a super chill calico who enjoyed nothing but food and sitting directly on your trachea.)

anyways, im tired. ill be patiently waiting for my new tablet and trying to make my ACNH island as destroyed and apocalyptic as possible. (new squared? i got the other one for my birthday last year, so its been almost a year exactly. my birthdays on the 28th <_< >_> if anyones interested in knowing.)

sorry if this is a ramble. im high af and somewhere in between pissed off, depressed, and overly happy about tiny little animals and bells.

#ps #cant stress enough #wherever she is #im 100% sure patches is ok #shes a hardy take no shit cat #i feel nad for not getting her spayed but she came to us pregnant #and the vet hasnt had an opening for spaying

[milkolya]

i feel like oversharing on this fine friday morning abt whats going on in my life. if you read this, thank you 💖 i know we tumblr gays are all going Through It at any given moment, and the solidarity has always helped me cope

(TW suicide) (with details)

last week my grandfather on my mothers side killed himself by jumping out the 12th story window of their apartment building in russia. he'd been fighting esophageal cancer for approximately 4 years. he was 70 years old. he definitely had some issues, some trauma or mental health struggles, you know, SOMETHING, that led him to excessive drinking and smoking for the vast majority of his life. like, he wouldnt have had cancer if he actually took care of himself you know? its his vices / coping mechanisms that caused it. and once he started getting treated, he didnt have it in him to change his lifestyle to make the treatments worth anything.... he continued on drinking and smoking and eating sugar by the spoon (another cause of the cancer is poor diet) and even insisted that he would die if he gave up any of those things. id get in trouble if i used the "alcoholic" word around my family but they were watering down his wine behind his back when my parents visited in 2021. like come on. and even at 70, he still outlived all of his siblings, all of which died from alcoholism related causes afaik. he just... he was clearly suffering, and in classic russian fashion, he kept everything bottled up forever, never made any effort to get better, and one day when sitting down to do his bills he decided you know what, i dont want to do this anymore.

thats what happens when you dont address problems!!!!

obviously its heartbreaking but its also incredibly frustrating for me. i was super suicidal as a teenager and my mother did NOT take it seriously, she told me that it was "normal" and everyone experiences it (including her). now in retrospect i understand that she was trying to help me and comfort me, that that thought must have helped her, but like. its not normal... and its pretty fucked up that ive been suicidal, my mother has been suicidal, and now my grandpa (her dad) killed himself. he fucking killed himself!!!! what the fuck!! and i continue to be the ONLY PERSON in my ENTIRE FAMILY who tries to seek help through medication and therapy and just like, at least fucking acknowledge that we have hereditary fucking issues in the form of trauma and mental illness.... its just a mess.

and of course my mother and grandmothers top concern is What If Hes Not In Heaven. cause suicide is a sin. cause thats what we should be focused on ?!?!? sigkapfilwkflamcnwgkqj . it makes me want to scream.

ive just been surrounded by suicide my whole goddamn life and i wish it would end. my close friend attempted when i was 15 and i had no fucking clue what to do. multiple others i was close to at school were struggling with similar thoughts and urges, including myself. we were all desperately trying to hold eachother together, you know? far too much to handle for a bunch of kids. and then i went to uni, and my new friends there had similar issues, and in 2nd year, one of them did kill themself. they took their fathers gun and they shot themself in the head. and did my mother help me feel better? only until i mentioned suicide. once that was out there, there was ZERO sympathy, just judgement, and dismissal of their struggles. which really, really hurt me. because they were trans, and they couldnt handle how harsh this world is towards us, and obviously i really related to that sentiment.

like, i understand my grandpa too. i dont... i dont blame him personally? i dont even really blame my mother personally, when it comes to these kinds of issues. sometimes i will get mad at her about specific interactions but at the end of the day its russian society that made both of them this way. its so deeply ingrained. i just wish i could have helped my grandpa and i wish i could help my mama now but i cant. i can barely help myself.

and ive had to take time off work because i cant fucking focus and i just keep crying all the time and my brain is a foggy mess. and i dont know how to keep going. when will i feel better? i need to get back to work. will i be able to do that??

when my friend died... well, i call them my friend, but we were not close or anything. they were one of my good friend's roommates. we did talk occasionally and were on friendly terms. it just feels wrong to say "acquaintance" or something like that. i didnt process their death in a very timely manner. its weird but common, i think. about 2 years after it happened i started getting triggered by any content with suicide by gun. surprisingly common in media lol. folks love to hold a gun to their head on tv!! (side note: first movie i ever watched with my now fiancee, it was get out and when the guy shoots himself suddenly at the end i had a full blown fucking meltdown lmaooooooo so embarrassing it was like our 3rd date and the night of our first kiss)

idk why it took 2 years for that to start happening, i guess that was just my processing time. and then it took another two years or so to sort that out in therapy and im finally okay again and i can watch stuff with guns and suicide and not freak out. but now im scared of how this thing with my grandpa is going to affect me and how long thats going to last. i just want some peace and quiet :(

if u read all that, thank u. maybe give this a like to let me know. ive been deleting my vent posts a lot lately so idk if i will keep this up. my friends have been lovely and supportive, theres just not much anyone can really say to make it better. so it feels more comfortable to do a massive vent post like this thats optional to engage with. and ive always aired out my personal business on here so it feels right hehe.

#the trauma of Being Russian #akkfkskgkshgj

[cryptiles]

hi! could i please req a obey me matchup?

im 5'2, she/her, straight i have long black wavy/kinda curly hair, a septum piercing, blue eyes, apart of the itty bitty community lol but i make up for it in ass. im very quiet around new people (i barely speak if idk you and pretty much go mute around large groups of people idk) but once i get comfy around you I'm very sarcastic, and cracking jokes all the time. i really enjoy cooking for people i care about, watching Disney movies with my kids, spending time outdoors and smoking the devils lettuce, well i typically smoke dabs but yk what i mean. i hate soup (it is a sad chunky beverage not a meal okay?) i don't really have an ideal date, as long as im spending time with my loved one i dont care what were doing. what attracts me to someone is if they're funny, loving and make me feel safe oh and my name is ivy

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

MATCH-UP FOR IVY

— details ; obey me x no stated gender! reader ; match-up based ; obey me m.list ; she/her

— requests are open as of 23/8 —> 11 match-ups left

— a/n : hello hello sorry this took so long 🏃‍♀️ but like same i only drink soup if it’s really fucking good if not it’s a fat no from me 😻 also i fucking love your username.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

and for this particular soup hater i match them with … mammon !!

• i have so many ideas okay.

• he would love your septum piercing and would impulsively go get one just to match with you.

• this man would definitely 100% smack your ass in the hallways of the house because he’s like that.

• if you’re uncomfortable with it he’ll stop immediately and start apologising and overthinking everything. [ he’ll be contemplating the meaning of life and may even drop low to pray to whoever is in the celestial realm that you don’t hate him ]

• this man is so god damn funny so its a regular that you guys will be cracking jokes and have many laughing fits.

• and they’re LOUD.

• y’all are shaking , huffing and puffing down the centuries year old house.

• and causing everyone in there headaches but to be honest y’all are comedians so they’ll probably let it slide since they overheard your jokes and had a laugh.

• of course mammon is such a family man , disney moves or any movies or any activity with you and your kids is an absolute must for him.

• he religiously drops everything he’s doing and joins y’all for movie nights.

• oh god everytime you cook for him he melts because you care about him ?? hand in marriage rn.

• he probably finds it lowkey funny that you hate soup and describe it as a sad drink.

• depending on his mood , he may or may not tell beel , if he does … well just run.

• mammon will be laughing at y’all as you try to defend your opinion on soup and beel will be arguing on how its good.

• this man is already clingy as hell since he realised his feelings so spending them with him everyday would be no problem.

• he’s always with you anyways , barging into your room , texting you every second of the day , getting you to go out with him. [ as friends according to him 😒 ]

• he may not express his love through words but through facial expressions , gifts and gestures everyone can tell he loves you so much it genuinely hurts.

• he’s constantly saying things like “ the great mammon will protect you ! “ etc etc and he shows it.

• pulling you close in big crowds and quickly guiding you to a less populated area , starts holding your hand in public [ despite the numerous amount of times he still has a small blush on his face ]

mini scenario !!

“ man that damn photoshoot was tiring as hell ! plus i had to stay back for extra classes , today sucked and i’m drained .. “

mammon complained plopping himself down onto the comforts of the soft couch.

he laid his head on your shoulder , usually he wouldn’t do this but today he was so drained he didn’t have the mental strength to care anymore.

“ you hungry ? “

“ starving … “

“ i could cook for you , your favourite if you want. “

you offered , mammon immediately sat up straight and gave you a raised eyebrow.

“ i don’t see you in the kitchen other than when you’re for kitchen duty. “

“ that’s because you don’t see me cook. i only cook for special people and i’m offering to cook for you now. the deal is on the table for the next minute. “

“ … wait you think i’m … special ?? “

“ yeah is that not what i implied- oh my god please don’t cry. “

“ I’M NOT CRYING ! YOU ARE ! “

“ THEN ARE YOU PISSING THROUGH YOUR EYES ? “

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅•

© 2022 cryptiles. please do not repost / translate my work and post it to other social media websites without permission , thank you.

#obey me #obey me x reader #obey me fluff #obey me x you #requests are open #shall we date obey me #mammon x reader #matchups

[weebsinstash]

"Or I could be paranoid and he's just a lonely weirdo and I'm looking too deeply into it."

YOU'RE NOT LOOKING TOO DEEPLY INTO IT HE'S DEFINETLY A CREEP. Don't give him the benefit of the doubt!! He's an internet stranger!! Trust your gut!! You being nice is easier for him and it will just give you more anxiety as you keep talking!! Time to ghost him.

And here is my dumb fucking ass "yeah I'm psychologically analyzing this guy and I think its really weird he's asking me about my father" AS I THEN GIVE HIM UNNECESSARY DETAILS ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD, LIKE

I am a walking amalgamation of hypocrisy. I am just really. Ugh. I dont want to use a stuffy word like 'flabbergasted' but. I didn't. I didn't realize I was this bad. I didn't realize that I was capable of like, I don't know if I want to say "actively putting myself in danger" but, you kind of probably get what I mean right? This just kind of. Makes me concerned for myself lmao, like ACTUALLY no joke I find this entire interaction really disturbing. I am sitting here not feeling good about this and having every suspicion imaginable and here i am Still Fucking Talking To-- MY GOD HE NEVER EVEN VERIFIED HIS NAME. I brought up he never told me his name and I said something like "im assuming from your url thst your name is david?" And he never said yes or no so YEAH I DONT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME

Who tf asks for someone's phone number without even introducing yourself. And when he first started messaging me and asked for my phone number I told him that I wasn't super comfortable with that and "it sounds like you're trying to pick me up" and his literal response word for word is "so what if im trying to pick you up 😅😅"

god fuck shit piss I am going to beat my own ass why am I even doing this to myself. Fucking crazy. I think I am actually going fucking crazy. Time for the weed I meant to smoke out here in my ice cold garage SEVERAL HOURS AGO before I got distracted by This Absolutely Bizarre Adventure

#also how tf can you be a gamer and not even know what pokemon is. i had to explain pokemon to him. the fuck