Im nostalgic about sleeping next to my broken window two years ago when the temperature went into the negatives and I couldn’t feel my hands or feet but I still just lied there shivering on my dirty mattress under a thin bedsheet
It’s weird when I get nostalgic about these objectively shitty memories. Right? But I turned on my fan and put on some cold wind sounds to try and get a piece of this feeling I’m chasing tonight.
Look at him. All he knows is that I saved him from the cold and brought him inside and fed him and made him warm and safe. He doesn’t know about my mistakes. Or my guilt. He just clings to me and purrs.
It’s been breaking my heart honestly
I’ve been feeling guilty lately when my cats show me affection
I’ll tell them “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry I suck so much” “I’m sorry I’m so restless and jumpy that I spend all day pacing around the apartment and can’t settle down and cuddle and I’m sorry I’m always like this”
And they don’t know any better so they love me anyway. And they purr and look at me with their big loving eyes and I just want to cry because I can’t be better for them
I’ve been feeling guilty lately when my cats show me affection
I’ll tell them “I’m sorry” “I’m sorry I suck so much” “I’m sorry I’m so restless and jumpy that I spend all day pacing around the apartment and can’t settle down and cuddle and I’m sorry I’m always like this”
And they don’t know any better so they love me anyway. And they purr and look at me with their big loving eyes and I just want to cry because I can’t be better for them