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charlies-diary-entries · 3 days

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metamorphmagus!reader drabble <3

very, very long fluffy ass drabble approaching, just about 2k words. im actually deeply insanely obsessed with the concept of the metamorphmagus (my non-binary is showing, i know) and need more content of a metamorphmagus!reader.

you officially meet the marauders during your later years at Hogwarts. they'd heard of you before, how could they not? beyond the small class sizes (which required you be aware of essentially everyone in your year, willingly or not), and the houses (which only further narrowed your chances of not knowing anyone), it was difficult for something as rare as a metamorphmagus to slip under anyone's noses.

james recalled seeing you at quidditch games, your hair vividly colored to match whichever team you were supporting. he was often proud to look through the crowd and find you sporting flaring red locks, cheering alongside his fellow gryffindors. he was proud, even if he knew you weren't there for him. very secretly, he often found himself wanting you to be there for him.

remus remembered the awkward instance of a professor dragging you to the front of the class and demanding you transform for him and your peers. it was a substitute for care of magical creatures, and he was determined to treat you like something to study. remus had cringed as you shifted, clearly uncomfortable and disjointed, before running off and skipping the rest of the day, upset. he wished he had gone to comfort you.

sirius often thought about when he spotted you shifting back to your true face while being dragged through the corridors by minnie. she was huffing and puffing about something you had done, some harmless prank scaring some first years with a strange face, but you only laughed. when he caught your eye, you winked, and he could feel his cheeks flush as he grinned. he'd suspected you'd be great fun for a while yet, but you were just beginning to prove yourself to him.

you had mostly slipped them all by up until their fifth year. by then, the boys had all been dating each other only for a short amount of time but it was becoming apparent to the rest of the school that the marauders were now strictly "look, but don't touch". they were really too fond of each other to consider anyone else now! (this was deeply upsetting information for the many young witches and wizards who had their hearts set upon a member of the famous group.)

however, as you had continued to find passion and joy in care of magical creatures despite your previous experience, you were studying to be a magizoologist. this meant, you were assisting kettleburn while james took the class. which of course meant, he finally had a clear opportunity to befriend you.

you and james caught on like wildfire, and it didn't take long for him to begin dragging the other marauders into your study sessions. hours would pass by, quiet jokes turning into loud laughter and getting shushed by the librarian. they found your ability endlessly fascinating and you were only too happy to oblige your new friends. (one time you transformed into sirius and the two of you acted out him falling in love with himself. the uproar it sent james and remus into actually got you kicked out of the library.)

it didn't take very long for you to become the newest unofficial member of the marauders. you were their beloved friend, and unfortunately in remus's eyes, all too smart. you had figured out his "furry little secret" just within the first month of knowing them all. the next month, they sat together in the hospital wing. sirius was holding remus's hand as james lay next to him on the bed, trying to bring him what comfort they had to offer when you stormed in. they were all aghast when you appeared in the hospital wing after the full moon with a full load of chocolate, several novels, and a promise that you'd do anything you could to help Remus through the lunar cycle. (remus thinks this very well may be when he fell in love with you. didn't help that you refused to leave his side for the rest of the day, reading to him and holding his hand in an entirely friendly way.)

you often joined them for the famous gryffindor parties, often getting sufficiently drunk and completely out of your mind. your appearance would shift constantly, struggling to find one stable face and body when your mind was so fuzzy. you would dance and laugh with them all, so when remus had squeezed sirius's hand and sent him to the corner you'd tucked away in, he knew something was wrong. you had been rather viciously rejected by a ravenclaw you liked, and now, very drunk, you were moaning to sirius about your appearance. could you have made your lips fuller? grown your hair? maybe cut your hair? what could have been different, more attractive, what could have made them like you? bigger eyes? sharper features? he had held your shifting face, helping you calm down and relax into your true complexion. (sirius had thought you looked completely gorgeous as yourself, because no matter how you looked, no matter what changed, he could always tell when you were comfortable in your own skin. he liked you best like that.)

and you always stood for what you believed in. once, james and remus had to not-so-gently drag you away from someone who had loudly claimed werewolves were "inhuman monsters". you continued to shout after them until you were dragged out of their sight, after which you gave remus possibly the longest hug he'd ever had. james gave him a soft kiss on the cheek after they sent you off to class, hoping you wouldn't attack any other students. unfortunately, later that same day, james caught you shouting at the very same student, defending a muggle-born slytherin. he didn't hear what they said, but something shifted in your eyes before you physically shifted, taking on a shit-ton of muscle and pouncing on them. he raced to pull you off as you bellowed at them, wordless and angry, before a professor raced over and helped him. you were dragged off to detention for a week and the slytherin dealt with a broken jaw and black eye as punishment for calling the student you had defended a mudblood. (james only felt immense appreciation for you afterwards. he'd never seen you spark like that before, and he'd never seen you look so undeniably hot.)

it was an incredibly comforting conversation between the three of them when sirius had audibly expressed just how attractive you were. james and remus were quick to agree, and it grew to them admitting to each other their collective feelings for you. but with it suddenly out in the open, none of them knew how to interact with you anymore. the previously friendly touches now felt charged, every glance your way was longing, and none of them knew how to manage it.

it didn't help that you seemed to be pulling away from them either, flushing and quickly making your way out of most of your conversations with them. they thought they were scaring you off. in reality, you were scaring yourself off.

you felt the exact same as them, but deeply feared ruining one of your few lasting friendships at the school. you began shifting into new faces, new bodies, ones they wouldn't recognize in order to avoid them in the halls. it stung to see them searching for you in class and around school, and it stung more when they gave up. maybe if you avoided them you'd begin to feel normal about them again. (you'd had enough weird for a life time, the few normal things you could have you desperately clung to.)

eventually, they caught onto you. again, there were only so many students at Hogwarts, so seeing a new one every other day during their classes with you? it was a painfully ineffective tactic.

remus caught you one day, lounging by the lake. well, sulking seemed a more accurate word, as you were incredibly glum, despite being relaxed enough to look like yourself. it felt like the first time he'd seen your actual face in years. he called out to you.

you jumped, and turned to run, but he cried out for you to stay. and well, you couldn't deny him. not when he sounded like that. not when he sounded so... abandoned. you cringed as you turned around and he rushed up, grabbing your face, turning you this way and that, filled with worry. he asked if you were okay, if you'd been hurt, if they'd hurt you somehow, and why in godric's name were you avoiding them so much-

and gently, you grabbed his wrists to still him, opening your mouth to... to what? comfort him? lie and say you were fine? no words escaped you as remus realized what he'd done and quickly pulled his touch away from you, a flush spreading across his cheeks. (he nearly didn't notice how you'd deflated as he stepped back.)

an awkward, pained grin crossed his face as he looked at you and whispered to you, "where'd you go? what happened to... to us?"

you very nearly broke down in tears right then and there, sucking in a sharp breath as you tried to prepare for losing them. that could be the only possible resolution to all this mess, and you'd be on your own. again. that was fine. you began to speak again, before a shout interrupted you.

james barreled past remus to give you a bear hug so forceful he actually tackled you to the ground. sirius was not far behind him, slipping a hand around remus's side and leaning into him, relaxed at finally seeing you.

a few tears slipped down your cheeks as you hugged james back, who only held you tighter, shouting that you could never leave them alone again. "we all love you too much to lose you ever again, so don't ever get lost, okay?"

you chuckled softly, more tears escaping as you buried your face into his neck. your laughter quickly boiled over into quiet sobs, shakily asking, "love, huh? that's- that's an awful big word, you- are you sure you love me?"

"love you? dove, we're plain obsessed with you-" james finally pulled back, shaking your shoulders then cupping your cheeks. "don't cry lovie, why are you crying?"

"because you don't- you don't love me the way i love you."

james tilted his head at you, deciphering your words, before your true meaning hit him like a truck. he grinned, whispering a quiet "fuck it" before shoving completely into your space and smashing his lips against yours. his glasses went crooked and you gasped into it, and there was some teeth clashing from how much james was smiling, but it was wonderful.

when he finally pulled back, panting and gleefully laughing, you could hear sirius's wolf-whistle and remus's shocked chuckles. you quickly looked between all of them, completely shocked before locking back onto james.

"you- you kissed me."

"sure did, dove."

"did," you glanced between all of them again, now keeping your eyes on sirius and remus as you leaned towards james and whispered, "do all of you want to do that?"

james somehow grinned even brighter. "sure do, dove."

"oh."

you felt your cheeks become ridiculously warm as sirius plopped beside you two, dragging remus down with him and smirking at you the entire time. you shyly smiled at him as he leaned over and smacked a kiss to your cheek.

"how- how long have you all been- how long have you felt this way?"

"long enough dove," remus said, leaning over and pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead before smiling down at you.

"certainly long enough."

i'm begging someone to request more metamorphmagus!reader, especially gender queer or otherwise. (i'll probably still write it even if you don't though, lol) i will also be writing more magizoologist!reader! just smth about a reckless partner that the marauders just can't keep track of... <3

#poly!marauders x you #poly!marauders x reader #marauders reader insert #marauders x reader

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mrwavellswaps · 1 day

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Swap, Hypno, TF

Henry Cavill, Ryan Gosling, Jake Gyllenhaal

Another great set of options here! But I think I already know who I’m swapping with.

Jake Gyllenhall. Like come on it’s gotta be. That man is just so fucking gorgeous. I’ll be honest though it’s a very close call between him and Ryan Gosling. I adore both of them and if Jake hadn’t been there I absolutely would’ve swapped with Ryan no question. It’s one of those that’s so close that my mind could change depending on the day but right now I’m dead set on Jake and his incredibly sexy looks.

That said I think I’ve just gotta go with another technology based swap for this. A special pair of headsets perhaps. How I’d get Jake to put it on is the tough part. I’d need to find a way to get close to him first. Maybe I use this device to switch bodies with multiple other people who are close to Jake. Every switch getting me closer to him until finally I’m in the body of someone he trusts deeply. Enough that can convince him to put the device on for a laugh when the two of us are alone. Slipping one headset onto him before slipping the other onto myself and without a second thought, activating the device.

Both my face and Jake’s going slack as the swapping device does its thing. Transferring everything that made us who we were through the currents flowing between the two helmets. Slowly flooding my consciousness into Jake’s mind and vice versa. And of course both of us getting massive erections in the process which seemed to be a common side effect when switching bodies with men.

It would’ve been a long and tiring process to finally get this far but it’d be well worth it once I finally had Jake’s body. Immediately throwing off the headset as soon as the swap was complete and standing up to get a good look at the body I’d been striving towards. Meanwhile the real Jake would be too confused and dazed by what had just happened to even make sense of the situation. Only looking up at me in horror as I tested out my new voice and felt up the new body I had hidden underneath the suit he’d been wearing. The newfound bulge in my pants threatening to break out at any second as I reach down and rub a hand across the outline of Jake’s thick cock.

Of course I need to take care of the original Jake somehow but I don’t think that’d be too hard. Once he finally processes what’s happened, he’ll probably start to panic at the sight of his imposter feeling himself up and slowly undressing. By this point I’ll have already stamped on the headset to ensure it can’t be used again before letting him know that the swap can’t be undone now. Giving him the choice to either keep quiet and I’ll make sure he has an easy life from now on or I’ll find some other way to keep him quiet. And since I’d just stolen his body, I don’t think he’d doubt my threats.

Moving on however I then need to hypnotise someone. And I think you all know who I’m going for. Ryan Gosling of course. And now that I’m in Jake’s body it shouldn’t be hard for me to get close to these other high end celebs like myself. As soon as the opportunity presents itself, I’ll lace a drink of his with a hypnotic potion that’s got my new body’s cum mixed into it. And as soon as he drinks it, he’ll become a complete hypno slave to me.

Can you imagine? Ryan Gosling kneeling at the feet of Jake Gyllenhall. Willing to do anything he’s told. A former straight man being turned into a gay slut. Always eager to let me ruin his tight and once virgin hole at any chance we got. Practically begging me to cum inside him every time as each load I bred into him with Jake’s cock only drove him further under my control.

With Ryan being so attached to me I doubt he’d ever want to leave my side for long. Telling the world that the two of us have decided to become a couple would be inevitable in the long game I imagine but that wouldn’t be all bad. The publicity would probably do wonders. I’d have to make sure Ryan acts as normal as possible when we’re in public though… but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let a few of his new slutty elements shine through the cracks from time to time. Maybe with him telling a reporter that I really “opened him up” to a new world of possibilities with a quick wink.

Lastly though a TF is in order and we still have Henry Cavill on our list. I’ll be honest I had no idea what to go for TF wise at first but I think I’ve finally figured it out.

Once again getting close to Henry at some point or another shouldn’t be too hard thanks to my new body. And as soon as no one is looking I’ll whip out an ancient spell. One that if performed correctly will immediately begin to transform Henry’s body. Or rather force it to shrink away into nothing. Or so you’d think at first glance.

As his body seems to vanish, his clothes would fall to the floor in a heap. But there would be something left underneath those clothes. I’d pull apart the heap and reach into Henry’s crumpled pants only to pull out Henry’s cock and balls!? It was the only thing left of his body though at first glance it would certainly be mistaken for a dildo. However upon closer inspection it looked and felt very real from the way the balls swayed to how the cock reacted to the slightest touch.

Now for the real test though.

Assuming I was alone where nobody could walk in on me, I’d slip the disembodied cock into my mouth and started sucking. Feeling as it swiftly began hardening in my mouth. Being sure to use every dick sucking trick in the book until Henry’s cock finally blew a load in my mouth. And as soon as it did, the suit I was wearing started to rip.

Henry’s body and soul essence had all been trapped inside this dlido-like form of his cock. However this meant that anyone who drank his cum would gain his strength and muscle mass albeit temporarily. Hence my suit tearing a fair bit after I swallowed thanks to my body bulking up quite a fair bit. And naturally I didn’t waste any time checking out the results. Loving the look of an even bigger and buffer Jake Gyllenhall staring back at me.

Needless to say I was gonna be using Henry’s cock a lot. Thankfully it replenishes itself endlessly as far as I know so there isn’t a real limit. I can drink from it as much as I want and bulk Jake’s body up whenever I please. Hell I might even let Ryan drink from it as well. Lord knows it’d be hot to see him hulk out with some extra muscle as well. Giving Ryan and even thicker muscle ass for me to dominate! But I think I can say for certain that I’ll be the one using it’s power most of the time. All the extra muscle is bound to feel addictive. And who know? Maybe my body will start to adapt and hold onto some of that extra size even after the effects wear off. Only one way to find out I guess.

Now this one was fun to type up! Also wanted to give a quick shout out to an old story by @fantasyvessels called Trading Places With Gyllenhall which definitely inspired me a little here. Glad I was able to track down where they got those images from and make a hot gif outta it. Go check that story out as well if Jake is your thing!

#asks #swap hypno tf #male body swap #permanent #male body theft #identity theft #male transformation #male muscle growth #musclegrowth #celebrity swap #celebrity tf #technology #magic #male hypnosis #male hypno #celebrity hypno

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televised-uhhh-nerdistry · 2 days

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Cartoon rec of the week:

Craig of the Creek

I haven't seen enough people talking about the show, so I'm mentioning it here. Absolute 10/10 cartoon. Just three kids, running 'round, making friends, running their own semi-sustainable community in the forest (there are some concerns about how much trash they leave there but ultimately they're better than most adults). Literally such a dream. they encourage each other to be emotionally healthy and they protect each other from "danger". Like they'll help each other achieve their dreams as they come (and new dreams show up pretty often because they're young kids).

And they're so funny! Like genuinely these kids are so earnest and intelligent and incredibly humorous and full of heart! They have full lives and they live them to the fullest out in nature after school, on the weekends, and in the summer. It's one of the best representations of found family I have ever seen in a cartoon, and I absolutely love it.

Also several of the writers behind the show are POC and queer (I think the head writers are all Black but I could be wrong), so you know that it was written well and the representation is awesome like I know that it should absolutely go without saying, but representation is much more than just showing BIPOC people on screen, and in terms of cartoons I haven't seen that many shows understanding that fact except maybe the Proud Family, Fat Albert, and a few others whose names will return to me once I've taken my ADHD meds. But the point is that Craig of the Creek gets it right. Most of the characters throughout the show (from what I've seen) are BIPOC, and you can tell that there are caring nods to BIPOC communities (primarily Black American communities), and more than that, that the writers know what they're talking about and are deeply familiar with and are a part of those communities. Craig, the titular character, is a young Black boy, and his family are middle class and ultimately very successful Black people. Kelsey (one of the main characters) is Jewish and Polish, and written with more complexity than having a one and done Hanukah celebration. The Creek's main business, a trading post, is run by Kit, a young Black girl with a love for economy and business. And many other characters are racial or ethnic minorities as well, and it warms my heart to see these characters done justice time and time again.

There's great subtle queer rep too, and you can tell it wasn't written just for the sake of representation, like it was thought out and intentional, and it worked beautifully. There are queer witches, and there are no labels applied to them, they're just allowed to exist with no explanations, happily in love with one another. There's a non-binary character later in the series (I'm only like 10 episodes in so I haven't met them yet but I've read amazing things about them). Kelsey also apparently identifies as a lesbian later in the series (I say "apparently" because I haven't done much reading so as to avoid spoilers, not because I am discounting her identity). On top of that, JP (one of the main characters) has a sister who is dating another girl.

There's also a significant amount of body positivity in the show, at least far than I've seen elsewhere. Not only do they openly say "all bodies are beautiful" and follow up on that by defending one another, there's also very little need to defend one another, because there's a very unspoken and deep respect in the Creek for things like body type, skin colour, disabilities, and so on. The kids of the creek, and their grown ups, are all different body types, and given their penchant for community and uplifting one another, it's no wonder they all seem confident in their bodies.

Not to mention the disability representation. There is a character later on in the series who is Black and deaf, and he not only speaks in Sign Language, but in Black American Sign Language. In addition, though unconfirmed, many of the kids in the creek embody aspects of various neurotypes. For example, the three main characters, Craig, Kelsey, and JP all come across as neurodivergent, with special interests, neurodivergent ways of thinking, and so on. Some have speculated that JP has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, which is a disability often comorbid with ADHD. Not to mention that all the kids in the creek embody different special interests, most of which would be considered weird or frowned upon in everyday society, but that are given the opportunity to shine and flourish in the Creek's accepting culture.

Take the Horse Girls for example, a small clique of girls who roleplay as horses in a pasture near the Creek, and of course many of their behaviours are played as jokes, but ultimately they are accepted and involved in many adventures because of their unique interests and abilities which are ultimately how they aid the rest of the Creek. Every kid is a useful and accepted part of the Creek, with the exception of the ranger scout kids, who are essentially the same as cops, who are often exploitative, rude, and disruptive to the community as a whole.

Ultimately, the show is one of love, friendship, community, and acknowledging differences as a natural and helpful part of life. On top of that, it's not copaganda! What more could you want?

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teencopandthesourwolf · 3 days

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WEEKEND WIP

from my current derek pov sterek wip with the working title of 'RED RAG TO A WOLF'

He knew it was there the moment the sliding door to his apartment clicked shut; the moment everybody left. The pack hadn't even made it down the old service elevator when Derek sensed it, scenting the spicy-sweetness that clung to the cool air, stubborn as a fever—and far too strong considering the loft's now-empty status.

Granted, he didn't know exactly what ‘it’ was yet, only that something of the kid's had been left behind.

He spotted it as soon as he turned around.

Derek breathed in, deeply, and anger flared brightly in his gut. He was fuming at just how damn happy that warming scent made him, and how it seemed like he now had his very own aromatic keepsake just to fucking prove it.

This was bad.

Dangerous.

Rooted to the spot, Derek cautiously eyed the innocuous folds of red spilling over the top of those stupid pillows Stiles had talked him into buying, his teeth and fists clenching (along with his heart).

They'd bumped into each other a while back—quite literally—in Bed Bath & Beyond when Stiles had turned a corner wearing those stupid lime-green headphones, and slammed right into Derek.

There'd been an excessively loud exclamation of, “What the shit?” and then, “Derek?!” as Stiles removed the headphones and nestled them snugly around the base of his long, pale neck, Bigmouth Strikes Again by The Smiths still appropriately blasting through them.

Stilinski had then cracked up and whooped like a hyena for almost a full minute straight, apparently at the mere notion of Derek's presence in the store.

“You? In a place like this? But Der, you're like, a werewolf, dude! A creature of the night!” he's said, and had punctuated the assessment by curling his bendy body into a ridiculous monster-esque mime, crossing his wide eyes and letting his tongue loll out of the side of his mouth as he’d gargled his own spit in some sort of supposed gnarly roar.

Just as Derek had been considering how Stiles sounded a bit like a traumatised washing machine, the kid had burst into yet more fits of mocking laughter, doubling over this time while wiping his mouth with the back of one hand and clutching at his side with the other.

What was so hilarious about someone needing to buy a toilet roll holder was honestly still a complete fucking mystery to Derek, but whatever.

At the time, he'd wanted to howl and snap his jaws at the kid for his sass. But Derek's general rule of thumb these days was to try his level best to not get so uptight about the more inane concepts that weaved in and out of Stiles Stilinski's baffling brain on a millisecond-to-millisecond basis, nor to give him any fuel for his ever-burning Sourwolf fire. So he'd nonchalantly raised an eyebrow and given back as good as he got by saying, “Which means what, exactly? That I'm only supposed to shop at PetSmart at three AM for my monthly supply of rabbit flavoured kibble?” and told himself not to dwell on it.

Then instead of doing the decent thing and leaving Derek the hell alone to get on with his Saturday afternoon, Stiles had proceeded to follow him around the store because the Beacon Hills Friendly-Yet-Hyperactive Neighbourhood Sheriff's Kid was just kind of excessively infuriating like that.

Stiles had disappeared for a moment, then reappeared and proceeded to thrust a shopping cart towards Derek, insisting Derek needed it for the random shit he’d started selecting from the various displays and unceremoniously dumping into the wire basket on wheels; random shit he was also insisting Derek needed. Derek proceeded to remove all unnecessary items right after Stiles dropped each of them in, the kid either not caring enough to challenge him on it or simply none the wiser amid his animated spiel about someone named, “Marie frickin Kondo, man!”

Apart from the pillows.

Apparently, Derek didn't hate the super-soft (if stupidly named) ‘Wolf-Skin’ material covering the particular pillows Stiles had picked out for him when the puzzling human had gasped and crowed, “Oh my God, Derek, can you believe they're named Wolf-Skin? They are totally perfect for you! And even more importantly: They spark joy, dude!”

Whatever the fuck that meant.

#sterek wip #sterek fic #pov derek #derek hale #stiles stilinki #red rag to a wolf #cassidy wips #ooh er #lol #weekend wip #tcats writes #teencopandthesourwolf

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stayevildarling · 2 days

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Hi, I know you might be a little busy, so no rush. I wanted to ask you for a Cordelia x Wilhemina x Billie x Reader, where Reader after a run-in with witch hunters gets hurt and tries to hide it from her girlfriends, as she has always known how to take care of herself, but she may get sick at night and the girls trying to find out what's wrong with her discover the wound, a bit of angst with fluff at the end.

Thank you.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Born to Die

A/N: I have no way of prioritising my requests at this point but I got this a little while ago and I just had to considering the angst 😩 special mention and thanks to @stepintomyworld who encouraged me to add more of the reader comforting the characters in this one 🫶🏻

word count: 8k

tw: mention of blood, mention of violence, mention of anxiety, angst

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

It had been a normal day so far, any normal weekend day at the academy really, most witches having gone to their families or doing some kind of activities outside of the coven, Billie, Cordelia and Wilhemina finally off work and enjoying the company of each other including you. Considering it was Saturday, you had been working in the greenhouse for a while, working on some spells and potions, preparing a class that was due teaching the following Monday.

Cordelia had been so incredibly busy, as well as the other two that you decided to head to the markets for her, despite Wilhemina and Billie offering the same but you always wanted to make sure that you took as much as possible off their busy plates. You couldn't begin to imagine how stressful it must be to be either of them. Billie constantly under the pressure of filming her show, chasing spirits and ghosts away. Despite her often joking about it and talking about the fun bits, you knew all too well about the deadlines that kept her up at night, as well as her high expectations of herself, as she always wanted to make her viewers happy. Let alone the spirits that would haunt her at night and visited her in her dreams and so it was a no brainer to help Billie out whenever you could.

The same with Cordelia, you knew how exhausting it must be to be the supreme, most powerful witch, the whole pressure of looking after every single one of her girls and the academy always heavy on her shoulders. And you knew that she also had some very high expectations, knowing that her mother often still haunted her and wanting so hard not to be like her and make the coven the place that she had always wanted. And so you couldn't help but take as many classes as possible off her plate, to the point where she wasn't part of the schedule anymore, and only taught occasionally whenever she felt like it or had some quiet time. In the evenings and afternoons, you would often help the supreme with anything that needed attending to, new applications, looking after some newcomers, anything to ease the weight of her responsibilities.

And at last you knew Wilhemina was no different, her career that she cared about so very deeply, having fought herself to the position she is in today. And despite her demeanour and her the one usually more quiet about those sort of things, you could tell how exhausting it must be at times, given her two idiot bosses that she would occasionally mention when talking about work, which was quite rare. And you knew about her expectations as well, wanting to be there for you three with all her heart, nothing ever too much for her. And in the process she often forgot to give herself that same kindness, gentleness and love. But you had taken that part a long time ago, knowing how exhausting the toll of Wilhemina's back was for her. And you always made sure to be a helping hand, as she would often find you being the one to schedule her doctors appointments, pick up her medication, prepare meals or baths for her. And she was reluctant at first, having only trusted Cordelia with those tasks so far, considering their dynamic and deep trust. But the one day she found out that you had taken over, she didn't even question it and ever since she would always show her appreciation through the love flickering in her eyes whenever they met yours. And that was all the thank yous that you had needed.

Your daydreaming comes to an abrupt stop, when you suddenly notice a shift around you. You had been done with all the stops, going from stall to stall and one shop with the list that Cordelia had given you, the weather had been lovely, warm as the sun was shining down on you, even causing you to take your cardigan off with the heat. However, as you walk down the long road towards the coven, it suddenly begins pouring down with rain, the sky filled with bright lightening and the sound of thunder startling you. And you could tell, somehow feeling it in your bones that something was off. You didn't have Cordelia's supreme senses but somehow you could always tell when something wasn't right, especially given the dramatic change in weather. As you stop walking for a moment, holding onto the shopping bags, you glance behind you, the pouring rain making it a little hard to see, but you wanted to check if there was some sort of danger as your body felt an odd sense of doom lurking nearby.

And out of the corner of your eyes, despite the pouring rain, you can see something. Your heart instantly stopping in your chest as you notice three dark shadows. Instantly your senses kick in as you think about what to do. It dawns on you that you had the strange feeling of being followed around the markets but you had brushed it off, maybe even foolishly. And then panic sets in as you decide what to do, should you run? maybe even teleport back to the academy? but at the same time you knew if you did that you would take them straight to the coven. And Cordelia had taught you all enough about the dangers that the academy faced at times that you for sure knew taking them there was an awful idea. But you couldn't think straight for a moment as your lungs force out some ragged breaths. And so you decide to cross the street, walking in the opposite direction, towards some crowds and people again, despite the heavy rain. Your hands were too full to call Cordelia and so the only thing you could do was close your eyes and focus on your magic without making it too obvious.

,,Cordelia?'' the supreme sits in her office, her eyes widening when she hears your voice in her head, the two of you mastering the ability of telepathy at this point as Cordelia had taught you a few years ago, a tool that would certainly come in handy now. As she balances on her feet, her movements rushed, Billie Dean is startled a little as the two of them had been talking in the supremes office, catching up about each other's week. ,,What is it?'' Billie asks, nervously, trying to read the blondes face. ,,Y/N, are you okay?'' she asks, closing her eyes as she sends the message to you. And as you hear her words repeat in your head, you doubt whether this was a good idea, whether getting them involved would even be smart and whether you might simply be paranoid. But as you turn around, the black shadows appear bigger, now only a few steps away from you, despite your best efforts. ,,Something is wrong, someone is following me'' you quickly think, sending a rush of adrenaline and panic across the blondes features yet again. ,,Where are you?'' she tries but you can't concentrate as the shadows grow even closer, the rain making it hard to walk, breathe or think as of right now.

And as Billie looks up at the supreme, she suddenly is left in shock as the blonde vanishes before her own eyes, knowing that she must have teleported somewhere but in utter horror and shock at the scene that unfolded and the lack of information she had on what was going on. As your breathing becomes more panicked, you suddenly stop as Cordelia appears in front of you, your eyes already brimming with tears. She stands in front of you, her gaze focused on you before she notices three men approach, almost reaching you two before she is quick to hold onto you, teleporting you both away from danger. ,,Wilhemina?'' Billie's voice rings through the quiet academy in the meantime. ,,Wilhemina?'' she tries again, the panic very noticeable in her voice and features. The redhead was currently sitting in her office, working through some last minute project when she hears her girlfriends voice in the hallway. And by the second time her name is called, she could tell something was off. And so she is quick to balance on her cane before finding a visibly shaken medium in front of her door.

,,What is it?'' she asks, her features stern, hiding her own concern. ,,It's Y/N and Cordelia'' Billie announces before they are startled with a noise coming from the supremes office. Billie's breath hitches as she makes her way over, Wilhemina following behind quickly, her cane echoing loudly through the quiet academy. As they approach the office, they find both you and the supreme there, you dropping the shopping bags, your clothes and face drenched with water from the pouring rain, your breathing hitching and Cordelia's worried expression. ,,What is going on?'' Wilhemina asks, her voice now matching Billie's hysteria from moments before. But you can't breathe yet and so you stand there frozen, pathetically trying to get your lungs to work, while Cordelia takes your cheeks into her hands, cupping them gently, wanting to coax you out of this so you could speak and fill them in.

It takes a few minutes before you manage to breathe and when you do the realisation that Cordelia had teleported you back ripples through you. ,,I.. I was at the markets and everything was fine but then it started thundering- and raining'' you begin, trying to focus to provide them with as much details as possible. ,,Men.. there were three men following me'' you finally speak. Billie and Wilhemina's faces change from concern to confusion, trying to understand your words. ,,It's fine darling, you are okay, you are home safe'' Cordelia tries, not understanding the full effects of the looming danger yet, Billie and Wilhemina equally confused but the redhead knowing you so well by now that she could tell there was something else on your mind. ,,What is it little one?'' she asks, as Cordelia instructs you to sit, your breathing again coming out hitched and panicked. ,,Witch- hunters... I think they may be... witch hunters'' you struggle before the realisation ripples through the three of them.

Cordelia's eyes widen, beginning to understand the full extend, internally scolding herself for not realising before, as she begins pacing, trying to think of something she could do, anything to keep the academy safe. ,,What makes you think that babydoll?'' Billie asks confused not necessarily understanding the connection. ,,It's.. I- I don't know, it's just a weird feeling I had'' you explain, glancing at Wilhemina who now stands beside you, one of her steady hands placed gently on your shoulder to tell you she is here and that she wasn't going anywhere. ,,I don't think you should have teleported us here Delia'' you begin, before she stops pacing to look at you. ,,I didn't teleport here for that reason'' you explain. ,,I think they watched me at the markets already, maybe they were looking for you'' you explain. Billie's heart sinks for a moment, before she connects the pieces ,,That could be possible, you go there every Saturday Delia'' she speaks, trying to control her emotions to stay on top of this.

,,If that is true, we may have just led them here'' you speak, not wanting to blame her whatsoever but more concerned with the wellbeing of your girlfriends and the witches left at the academy. ,,Shit'' the supreme curses, really not having thought that last bit through, the concern over you before too strong. ,,Okay we need to act fast, can you help me place another protection spell Y/N?'' the blonde asks, you quickly nodding and up on your feet before you abruptly freeze, startling all three of them. And then it's back, that odd feeling, the feeling of looming danger nearby, doom. ,,They are here'' you whisper, being able to feel their presence as they somehow get past the protection spells and enter the academy. ,,How many witches are here?'' you whisper, towards Cordelia. ,,Just the twins'' she explains, pointing at two rather new members. ,,Keep them safe, I'll look after these two'' you whisper, with quick words, the supreme hesitating for a moment before remembering your abilities and nodding, glancing at you three one more time before leaving.

And then you turn around, catching a glimpse of Wilhemina and Billie who both look utterly terrified. Billie shivering with fear, Wilhemina seeming more composed on the outside but her eyes spoke lengths. ,,Listen'' you whisper, barely audible ''I need you both to stay here while I find Delia'' you begin, but by their faces you could tell they would never let you do this willingly. ,,No way Y/N'' Billie scolds, shaking her head vividly at your suggestion. ,,I'll be two minutes'' you announce but you knew there was no way they would let you go, Wilhemina's angry eyes piercing straight through you. As you begin taking some steps towards the door, the redhead is quick to grab your arm, not letting you go under any circumstances considering the dangers. You nod before whispering ,,Let me put a protection spell on the door at least'' you whisper again, barely audible. They nod, Wilhemina letting go off you before you make your way to the door, closing your eyes, before chanting a strong protection spell, one that would make it impossible for anyone to enter and evenly them to get out.

,,I'm sorry'' you mouth the words before turning around and teleporting away from them, Wilhemina's cane banging in the process ,,Damn it'' Billie snaps, watching you escape their grasps. And with a swift motion, you find yourself downstairs by the staircase. The academy was dead silent and if it wasn't for your intuition, no one would know anything was off and that anyone had entered the usual safe walls of the academy. It was also incredibly dark, the only light source, the occasional lightening from outside, illuminating the usual bright academy. With careful steps, you walk towards the nearest wall, using your witchcraft to carry you further as you make it towards the hallway, now finally hearing some footsteps and being able to tell they weren't from Cordelia. Your brain blanks a little bit as you try to think what to do, whether you should guide them away from here, whether to confront them head on, knowing your powers would be more powerful than their weapons.

As you make it to a door, you poke your head around it, catching a glimpse of one of the shadows, dressed entirely in black before you raise your hand, making him fly across the room, hitting his back on a nearby wall, by the lack of noise assuming he was unconscious for now. ,,What was that?'' another dark low voice asks, making you halt your steps as he was much closer than you initially believed. ,,It's the witches'' another one speaks before you find another one approaching, walking towards the unconscious one. However before you can do anything, Cordelia startles you as you catch a glimpse of her sneaking down the staircase. As soon as her eyes land on you, her eyebrows furrow, brushing the thought away as one was very close to the supreme, his stupidity and the darkness causing him not to see her yet. With a swift motion, she has him equally by the nearest wall, his hands tied behind his back, his mouth covered, only letting the smallest, most pathetic noises escape.

Before you know it, you suddenly feel a sharp pain on the back of your head, before another one is added to your back, causing you to squint your eyes shut, the pain overwhelming you for a moment before you lose your balance. You watch as Cordelia approaches the two witch hunters on the floor, not having seen the third one evidently behind you. But as you watch him approach her, sneaking up behind her, you quickly focus on your magic, adding him to the pile of monsters on the floor, causing him to lose consciousness, dropping the weapons in the process. Cordelia gasps a little as she turns around, seeing you holding onto the nearest wall. And then as danger is averted, the sky fills with the same bright tones of yellow that it had before, the sun shining warmly, instantly illuminating the academy with light again. With a flick of your wrist you release the protection spell around Cordelia's office, knowing they would both be furious with you for this and not wanting to keep them locked in any longer, knowing danger was gone for now.

,,Are you okay?'' Cordelia asks, looking over to you, torn between running to you and checking on you and letting out her wrath on the three figures, knowing despite danger being averted for now, the real work would begin for the supreme now as she had to figure out whether they worked individually, whether they are a part of an organisation. Knowing she would need to take them to the council for further questioning, needing to figure out how they managed to get past the protection barrier of the academy. ,,I'm fine Delia, are you?'' you ask and she simply nods, before kneeling down, taking off one hood by one, trying to see whether she knew them, whether her magic could tell her anything about what had happened. And then as the throbbing pain returns in your back and head, you catch a glimpse of Billie running down the stairs, Wilhemina's cane echoing hard and loud against the marble floor, their faces filled with concern, fear and panic.

,,Is everyone okay?'' Billie asks, taking a step back when she notices the three figures on the floor. ,,All okay Billie'' Cordelia quickly announces, phone already in hand to alert the council about this, as well as Zoe. ,,What the hell was that?'' Wilhemina's angry voice rings through the air, only adding to the pounding in your head. You knew she was talking to you, you knew she was going to be furious with you and you knew it would need a lot of explaining, as she for sure wouldn't just accept your pathetic apology of wanting to keep them and the coven safe. As she descends the stairs, making her way over to you, your legs suddenly feel a little weak, face growing paler and you could definitely feel something warm running down your head, neck and back. ,,I'm so sorry Mina'' you apologise, closing your eyes to fight back the pain and brace for the impact of her words. ,,I just needed to keep you both safe'' you apologies again, and Billie is quick to shoot Wilhemina a glance, the glance telling her that this wouldn't be the right time now.

,,Y/N?'' Cordelia asks, causing you to open your eyes and look at her through your blurry vision. ,,Can you teleport one of them to the council with me? I'll take the other two'' she announces and you try nodding, quickly realising that was a mistake before muttering out a quick ,,Yes''. As you take some unsteady steps towards her, you brush past both Wilhemina and Billie who both look at you, as you try and muster up your best smile, hiding the pain, not wanting to worry them further. ,,We should be back in a few hours, but the coven is safe'' Cordelia announces, having now placed another protection spell around the walls of the academy. ,,Billie darling, can you check on the twins for me?'' she asks, Billie quickly nodding. You take one last glance at Wilhemina before putting your arm around one of them, glancing at Cordelia who gives you the signal to teleport.

And then again, the two of you, including the men are out of your girlfriends sights, Billie sighing before glancing at Wilhemina and making her way upstairs to check on the twins. Cordelia must have already alerted the council beforehand as when you arrive at another school for witches and warlocks, they are already waiting for you both. Both you and Cordelia are quick to hand the men over, the supreme already discussing with the witches and warlocks on what had happened. You pause for a moment, the pain now very evident as you search for the nearest bathroom, Cordelia not really noticing your absense as her main concern was the safety of the coven, assuming at first you were following behind her. It's not until she determinedly fills them in, turning around to speak to you when she notices your absence. Her features tense a little, eyebrows furrowing as she looks around the room, trying to find you among the council of witches and warlocks.

Meanwhile you had found the nearest bathroom, having been here a few times for some council meetings. As you balance on your tip toes with the last energy you have left, turning around, you lift up your shirt, revealing a significant wound and how your shirt was now mostly stained with blood. You had been so caught up in the hectic of things, wanting to keep the academy and your girlfriends safe that you had no idea what actually happened, but by the wound you assume it must have been some sort of knife as the bleeding wasn't stopping yet. Your hair is hiding the other wound, causing the throbbing headache but you couldn't move well and so all you can do for now is linger your hands over it, knowing your healing magic was nothing compared to Cordelia's but it would do for now. With a swift motion, you adjust your jacket, checking one more time for no obvious signs of injury before returning to the witches and your girlfriend.

Cordelia is content seeing you, taking a mental note to check in on you in a little while, still explaining the events that had taken place. It takes several hours, several attempts of a truth enhancing spell, making the men spill their intentions, actions. And it was slow, painful even but eventually, mostly with Cordelia's help they could leave the three of them with the council, leaving their faith in their hands after realising that they weren't a part of some bigger scheme, the three men operating on their own. And so in the end, it allows both you and Cordelia to finally head home, the sun having already set a while ago as the two of you finally teleport back to the academy. And the supreme had noticed, how quiet you had been, observing carefully from the back, answering some council questions here and there but wondering whether you simply felt guilty for what happened with Billie and Wilhemina or if maybe the events had traumatised you, still unaware of your injuries.

,,Sweetheart, are you alright?'' she asks, her features almost stern as she takes in your appearance and slightly pale expression. ,,I'm fine Delia'' you try to convince her with your biggest smile and if it wasn't for her own worries lingering on her mind, she would have noticed that it was forced, that in fact you aren't okay, simply hiding your true state in order to not make them worry. In fact the events lingered on her mind, causing her to feel guilty for not thinking this through before, how her concern over you had clouded her, how you had managed to sense the dangers but she hasn't. You could tell by the shaking of her hands and the guilt in her eyes that she felt awful, that she still didn't feel safe, that she was triggered by the events from today as they had happened in the past and taken everything from the blonde. And you didn't need to guess to know that she was thinking of her mother, that same voice back, reminding her how weak she was for not seeing this coming, how she didn't do enough to protect the academy in the first place.

As the two of you linger in the hallway, you can't help but stop her from sprinting upstairs to check on everyone yet. And so you step in front of her, meeting her brown concerned eyes before speaking softly. ,,Delia, hold on'' you speak softly, causing for her eyes to lock with yours. ,,Are you okay?'' you ask gently, your eyes pleading with her, telling her that you knew and that this was okay. She sighs then, doing that lip twitch thing, exposing her own vulnerability in this moment. ,,Come here'' you offer, opening your arms in an inviting way and with a sigh, she takes you up on the offer, almost collapsing into your arms as the weight slowly tumbles from her tense shoulders. ,,It's okay'' you reassure, squeezing her a little tighter to make sure she knew you are there and that you had got her. You ignore the throbbing pain in your back as her hands linger on it unknowingly.

As the two of you pull away after a while, you find her tear stained eyes and quickly wipe her cheeks. ,,You did great Delia, you protected us all'' you reassure before speaking again ,,And none of this is your fault'' you smile at her, before she can't help but chuckle. ,,How did you know that?'' she asks, almost a little shy and innocently before you raise an eyebrow. ,,Well duh Delia, I am a witch'' you grin, causing her to chuckle a little before pressing a kiss to your forehead. It doesn't take long before the two of you are interrupted, Wilhemina's cane and Billie's heels echoing through the large hallway, finding you both back home safe and sound. ,,Oh thank god'' Billie breathes out in relief, seeing you both back. She is quick to walk over to you both, pressing a kiss to your lips and equally the supremes moments later. And as Cordelia fills Billie in on what happened, answering every single one of her questions, you glance at Wilhemina, almost not daring to meet her eyes as the guilt from your earlier actions weighs heavily on your mind and heart.

However as you meet her eyes, her expression is much softer, forgiving almost and unbeknownst to you, Billie had already managed to calm the redhead down, telling her that if either her or the medium could have done what you did, they would have done it as well. Wilhemina not liking the thought of you putting yourself in danger, especially to protect them but knowing she would have done the same if her abilities had allowed her to. And so as you finally reach her, you feel the urge to hug her, looking up to meet her brown eyes. But as you glance up at her, you could see pain and as you observe a little closer, taking in her posture, you can tell her back was killing her. And it killed you truly, how much her back would continue burdening her, how stressful events like today especially took a toll on her. You hesitate for a moment, knowing you needed to play your cards right with this as your earlier actions still may have some anger lingering on her mind regarding that, possibly even you breaking her trust a little.

,,Are you okay, little one?'' she asks carefully, her voice hushed as Billie and Cordelia make their way into the kitchen, Billie already having prepared some dinner for the four of you. ,,Yes, I'm okay Mina'' you whisper, looking up as your guilty eyes meet hers again. ,,Are you?'' you ask and by the way she averted her eyes you could tell that she wasn't. ,,I'm sorry about earlier'' you apologise, the weight of the guilt almost feeling like dragging you down as well as the continued throbbing in your back and head. ,,It's okay little one'' she speaks softly as a little smile coats her features and you could tell she was being genuine and despite you wanting to explain further, you didn't feel like it as of right now, everything feeling a little much. ,,Dinner is ready you two'' Cordelia announces softly and you simply look at the redhead before following her into the kitchen. As you make it there, the light is dim, the only source some candles and the soft glow from the lamplight illuminating the kitchen. It smells heavenly and you chuckle internally for a moment, knowing there was no way Billie had cooked this and wondering if maybe Wilhemina had or whether the medium had ordered it.

Despite the feeling of normality and the events from today almost fading from your memory, you didn't feel like joining them, urgently wanting a shower and to wash away the reminders of the pain from today. The three of them notice your hesitation to sit down, and you avert their gazes before speaking ,,I- I was just going to shower if that's okay'' you announce and for the first time Cordelia really notices then that something was off with you, how quiet you had been and almost withdrawing a little. She stands up, quickly making her way over, taking in your features and noticing just how pale you are, how tired you seem. ,,Of course darling but are you okay?'' she asks, her eyes piercing through you. It takes all your strength to lie, despite hating it but you knew they each suffered today and you didn't want to add. And so you muster up your best smile, before assuring her that you are just fine and making your way upstairs. As they watch you leave, the concern lingers on their beautiful features, eventually fading a little as Cordelia fills them in on what the council and her had discovered, that the coven was safe.

As you stand in the shower, shivering a little at the cold sensation prickling at your skin, you can't help but see the pile of blood stained clothes on the floor, as well as the blood drawing out from the water, pooling by your legs. You almost feel sick at the sight, trying to turn towards the mirror but not being able to see. And so you reach for the back of your head, trying to figure out what had happened but it quickly turns out to be a mistake as the pain is so severe that it almost causes you to lose your balance altogether. In a pathetic attempt, you linger your hands over the back of your head, making the pain go away for now and causing for the blurring off your vision and the feeling of unsteadiness to go away. After finally making it out of the shower and into some clean clothes, you quickly hide all the evidence from your injuries, before making your way downstairs. You find Billie lingering outside the little backdoor and smoking, smiling at you as you pass her. Cordelia is cleaning some dishes, her features seeming a lot less tense and more relaxed now.

Wilhemina is still sitting at the table when you make your way over, gently placing some tablets next to her, knowing her back was definitely killing her by now. She meets your eyes, thankful yet hesitant of the gesture. ,,I ran you a bath Mina, it's ready upstairs for you if you'd like'' you explain hesitantly, unsure how she was going to take it. Cordelia smiles lovingly at you, appreciating your kindness and how nice you always treated them all. The blonde glances at Wilhemina, her eyes pleading her to soften up a little. The redhead nods, swallowing the tablets before giving you a warm smile and making her way upstairs. As you take a seat, you feel two warm arms wrap around you from behind and by the lingering sense of cigarettes and perfume you could tell it was Billie Dean. You ignore the piercing pain as she unintentionally leans her chin on your shoulder, sending waves of pain through your head and back, causing you to scrunch up. And this time, Cordelia picks it up, seeing your expression as she places a plate of food in front of you, her features instantly tensing.

,,Y/N?'' she asks carefully, her eyes meeting Billie's as yours shoot open a little, quickly trying to compose yourself. ,,What's wrong?'' Billie asks, moving away from you a little in order to see what was bothering you. ,,Nothing Delia, just tired'' you lie again, hating it regardless and your magic had alerted you a while ago that the supreme had tried entering your thoughts, you assume unintentionally as her magic sometimes did that, especially when worrying but you didn't want them to worry so you quickly muster up your best smile and eat the food that Cordelia had given you, hoping it would coax the concern from their features. As the night wears on a little while later, the three of you had decided to head to the bedroom a little earlier than usual, Billie retreating to another bathroom for a bit to finish her beauty routine while Wilhemina was finishing up in the bathroom. Cordelia checking on the remaining witches at the academy one more time and making sure all the doors are locked, windows are closed and the protection spell still strong.

When Wilhemina returns, you can tell that her features are much less tense, posture more stable as well and as she carefully moves to her side of the bed, Cordelia and Billie to your left. The redhead finds another sweet gesture on her night table, she finds that you had left her a glass of water, her nighttime medication and a heating pad so she could get a good nights sleep. And the gesture almost brings tears to her eyes, glancing at you to find you nestled next to Cordelia and Billie. The redhead is quick to get onto her side of the bed, next to you and appreciating your efforts and the pain slowly leaving her body. As you glance at Cordelia and Billie, you could tell that the supreme seemed much less tense now, of course the concern and events from today still lingered on her mind but she seemed calmer, Billie already dozing off a little while ago, her soft snores filling the room ever so quietly. As you turn around, you look at Mina, who you find smiling at you, her eyes piercing right through you as if they silently communicated with your own.

And again you felt the urge to hug her, to hold her close and this time she picks it up, lowering herself on the bed a little to get comfortable, heating pad tucked gently on her back. ,,Come here'' she offers and you comply, snuggling into her side as she wraps an arm around you, Billie subconsciously holding onto you as well as she spoons into you. ,,I'm sorry'' you whisper, almost inaudible but your girlfriend picks it up, looking at you, her eyebrow raised ever so slightly. ,,Why are you sorry little one?'' she whispers, almost a little confused. ,,I didn't mean to scare you before'' you admit, your eyes already brimming with tears, the events from today finally catching up on you. Her features soften before you speak again ,,I just wanted to keep you both safe'' you admit, meeting her brown eyes and she is quick to wipe your tears, keeping you comfortable. ,,I know little one, I know'' she reassures pulling you a little closer and holding you tight.

Eventually sleep washes over you, your eyelids feeling heavy and both Billie and Wilhemina's arms holding you close. It isn't until several hours later, when you wake up, feeling another shift in the air, feeling the medium shivering into your side. You are quick to turn around, face the blonde, ignoring the pounding headache and that same warmth lingering on your back. ,,Billie?'' you try softly, noticing her features tense, her whole body stiff and shivering, tears running down her cheeks and you quickly figured she was having a nightmare. ,,Billie'' you try again, glancing around you to find both your other girlfriends asleep. She wakes then, her eyes widening as more tears stream down her cheeks, but you are quick to wipe them away. ,,Shh'' you try soothing her, finding her hand underneath the blanket and holding onto her. ,,It's okay Billie, you had a nightmare'' you assure and the medium is quick to compose herself, usually denying the nightmares whenever one of you mentioned them.

You watch her hesitate, seeing the fight she was fighting internally of opening up. ,,What did you dream about Billie?'' you ask her carefully, smiling warmly at her before pulling her a little closer. And then it kinda bursts out of her, telling you how she was so scared of losing either of you, how brave you had been and glad she is that everyone is fine. And you hold her through every confession, every tear, every sob, before gently coaxing her back to sleep, whispering words of comfort and affection and how she isn't alone, how you are all right there for her. And it does take a little while but before too long her soft sounds fill the bedroom again and you sigh a little then, the pain now almost unbearable as that took any leftover strength you had. And then it kinda dawns on you that something was wrong, how the pain that you had been pushing away didn't feel normal.

With the last strength left, you somehow manage to force yourself out of bed, trying your best to stay as quiet as possible as you try to make your way to the bathroom, feeling the blood run down your neck and back but almost not feeling it as everything is spinning, your cheeks flashed hot and your vision blurry. Somehow you manage to find the bathroom, the light instantly startling you due to the bright sensation. And for a moment all you can do is close the door, sliding down the bathtub and sitting on the floor, trying to breathe. And it doesn't take long for Cordelia to wake up, hearing your footsteps and her supreme senses alerting her of something, despite her not too sure what that was just yet. The darkness causes her to reach for the light on her bedside, the bright sensation causing her to squint her eyes closed for a moment. She hovers above Billie, trying to find you on the bed but she finds your spot empty and as she moves, Wilhemina is also awake quickly, a light sleeper anyway.

Their eyes seem to linger on your pillow and where you had been laying before almost at the same time, noticing the red stained sheets and the lingering blood and their eyes widen then as they meet across the bedroom despite the darkness of the night. Cordelia's eyes widen as Wilhemina is already reaching for her cane, both quickly on their feet. The bathroom light peaks underneath the door as they walk towards it, Cordelia quick to speak first ,,Y/N, are you alright?'' she asks and when you hear her voice, despite it being faint, you could tell that there was no way you could hide this from them any further. In a pathetic attempt to make this any better, you try balancing on your feet but it's pointless and before you know it, both the blonde and redhead are already walking towards you, Cordelia quick to kneel beside you, Wilhemina lingering nearby, her face filled with concern and confusion.

,,What is it baby?'' the blonde speaks softly, her hands instantly wandering to your cheeks, seeing your pale expression. ,,What hurts darling?'' she asks again, her voice a little firmer this time as she could tell you are struggling to keep your eyes open, unaware that the last few minutes you had fought the battle of unconsciousness with all you have got. Wilhemina struggles to watch you like this, your face so neutral despite the very obvious pain lingering in your eyes. Meanwhile, Cordelia tries propping you forward, not being able to see any obvious signs of injury anywhere before she gasps seeing your back. The t-shirt you were sleeping in before, mostly stained in a crimson red and she panics then, not understanding at first what had happened and where this was suddenly coming from. ,,Little one, speak to us please'' Wilhemina ushers, the concern now very visible in her features and voice as she kneels down equally, leaning on her cane and if you could think clearly you would have scolded her, reminded her of her back but you couldn't think as the only thing on your mind was them. Little memories with them clouding your mind, causing you to forget about the pain for a moment.

Cordelia was usually the calm and composed one in these situations but somehow today had caused for her own anxiety to betray her as she helplessly looks at Wilhemina, unsure what to do. The redhead is quick to usher her to get you to lay down, as the blonde in a swift motion has you facing to your side, for the first time getting a good look at your injuries. And she gasps then, in disbelief and not remotely understanding where this came from. Towards the middle of your back a long deep cut is to be seen, Wilhemina balancing on her cane to get a look and despite remaining silent, her heart breaks at the sight. She has a feeling this may have happened today and how you continued powering through it all and not mentioning any of it and the redhead feels conflicted, seeing so much of herself in you but knowing the pain that burden carried and always having tried to protect you from just that.

The blonde is quick to hover her shaking hand over the wound, with a quick motion making it disappear altogether as her healing powers are quite strong, being the supreme and all. In anticipation she leans over your shaking body, noticing how you aren't quite with them still but on the first try, she can't seem to find any other obvious signs of injury. ,,Y/N darling'' she tries but it's hopeless as the pain in your head was getting more severe by the minute. The energy in the room shifts, Cordelia being able to think clearly now as panic sets in Wilhemina's features, unsure how to handle with you not being responsive. And so the supreme does the only thing she can think of at that moment, closing her eyes, before touching your forehead, shaking as she enters your thoughts, the events from today replaying in her mind.

And then like a little movie, she sees and feels the pain you had endured today, getting a glimpse of you in the bathroom, in the shower and what actually got you to these wounds. And it's painful as little images float in your mind, images with your girlfriends, happy memories and the sight brings tears to her eyes. ,,What is it?'' Wilhemina asks sternly, as the supreme opens her eyes again, understanding what the headmistress had done moments before. ,,We need to check her head'' Cordelia announces, gently moving your hair to the side to get a better look at the back of your head. Her fingers already stain in blood before she sees the wound and Wilhemina can't help but sigh, seeing the state you are in and how you soldiered through it all on your own. Blaming herself for not knowing sooner, thinking about what could have happened if they never found you tonight.

Cordelia is quick to hover her hand over your head again, this wound taking a little longer to heal but she manages nevertheless. Wilhemina breathes out in relief, watching as the blood slowly fades away, from your back, the back of your head and her girlfriends hands. ,,Sweetheart?'' Cordelia tries, nudging your shoulder a little as she carefully moves you to face her. Wilhemina watches as your eyes remain closed, confusion washing over her face, the concern still evident on her features. ,,Y/N darling, I need you to wake up'' she tries again, this time a little sterner and at last your eyes finally open, the bright sensation causing them to squint shut before realising you are on the bathroom floor and seeing their expressions. ,,Shit'' you think to yourself, quickly composing yourself and forcing yourself up. And as you are back on your feet, you quickly realise it was a mistake as your vision blurs, little stars forming around you.

And you should have known, knowing Cordelia's magic was strong and despite assuming she fixed your injuries, your face grows pale, the supreme quickly behind you to catch you. ,,Hey hey'' she coos, keeping you balanced as she helps sit you down on the edge of the large bathtub. ,,You're okay'' she reassures, glancing at Wilhemina who's features at this point are beyond readable, the initial shock of concern slowly replaced with anger. Despite the dizzy spell, you could tell she was furious with you, opening your mouth to apologise but the words get caught in your throat. And at last the medium had woken, stumbling into the bathroom as she holds onto the door frame for support. ,,What happened?'' she asks, a little dumbfounded, her voice still hoarse from sleep.

,,As per usual Billie, you missed everything'' Wilhemina remarks, her features stern as she balances on her cane, leaving you with the supreme and medium. You feel the strange urge to follow your redhead girlfriend, to apologise for the consequences from your actions but you still couldn't walk properly and so all you can do is close your eyes, trying to fight back the tears of them being upset with you. ,,Babydoll'' Billie begins, kneeling beside you ,,Delia what happened?'' she asks, confused, feeling terrible for missing everything. Cordelia glances at Billie before her eyes travel back to your own, a flicker of sadness in them as she couldn't believe you would have kept it from them for this long, usually her being the one that needed to coax this sorta stuff out from Wilhemina. And knowing you knew how to take care of yourself but this just seeming utterly unlike you.

,,What?!'' Billie's voice ripples through the air, awakening you from your daze as you didn't listen to a single thing Cordelia had said, too focused on your loud thoughts and the guilt that was beginning to crush you with each second passing. And then before the medium can scold you as well, you balance on your legs, quickly walking away before either of them can stop you, brushing past Wilhemina as well before making your way downstairs, not remotely in the mood to deal with any of it as you hide away in your usual sanctuary the greenhouse. And instantly the calm tranquility of plants and peace makes you feel at ease, wiping the tears that you had no idea streamed from your cheeks before.

Billie is quick to rush after you, Cordelia however stopping her as she knew you needed to calm down for a while and knowing your injuries are healed. ,,Billie wait'' she ushers, the medium stopping in her tracks. Wilhemina remains quiet and composed as the two of them talk, pretending to not listen to their words. ,,Why would she not tell us?'' the medium asks, glancing at the sheets covered in the same shade of red from before. ,,I don't know'' Cordelia sighs, rubbing her temples in frustration, with a flick of her wrist making the blood stains disappear from the bed. ,,I don't understand'' Billie argues, fiddling nervously with her nails before Wilhemina's voice rings through the air again, startling the two of them in the process. ,,It's because she didn't want us to know'' she begins, Cordelia's features filled with pain listening to her girlfriends words. ,,Because she would rather take care of us and protect us than ask for help'' she adds, causing for her girlfriends eyes to slowly swell with tears.

The room fills with silence as the minutes pass by, neither of them speaking, the anger slowly subsiding from Wilhemina's features, more concerned with your wellbeing and feeling the strong urge to find you and hold you close, considering how brave you had been. ,,Let me find her'' Cordelia announces, not liking the idea of you being on your own. Your peace and quiet is interrupted when the blonde makes an appearance in the greenhouse, knowing she would be able to find you there as you always hid away in the comfort of the greenhouse, her being the only one to truly understand how special the place really was. And she lingers by the doorway for a moment, unsure whether you had managed to calm down yet. ,,Sweetie?'' she asks gently, coaxing you right back into the present and away from your thoughts. As soon as your eyes land on her, you falter, feeling terrible and tears already brimming in your eyes.

,,Delia I'm sorry'' you announce quickly before she walks over to you, her stepped rushed as she wants nothing more than to hold you in her arms. ,,Sweetie'' she coos, tilting her head as she walks over before her arms wrap around you, holding you close to her chest. The two of you stay like this for a while, before she takes in your features, taking your cheeks into her hands. ,,You have nothing to be sorry for darling'' she reassures, locking eyes with you to make her statement more believable. ,,You kept us safe sweetheart'' she speaks before your eyes avert hers again. ,,I wish you would have told me darling, so I could have fixed it though''. Her words are gentle and warm, just like your Delia and somehow you feel safe, believing her and slowly feeling calmer. ,,How about we get you back upstairs sweet girl?'' she tries but your eyes find hers again, betraying your own anxiety as you fear the reaction from the other two.

,,You don't need to worry darling, I promise'' she ushers before taking your hand and leading you back inside. You simply follow, feeling too tired to argue and still feeling the lingering headache. As the two of you walk through the dark academy, you feel safe with Delia as you would follow her everywhere, even straight into hell and back. Before too long, the two of you make it back into your bedroom, Billie already tugged in again, despite being awake, Wilhemina sitting on her usual bedside, awaiting your return. And as you glance at them, you can tell their features are much softer, Cordelia settling behind Billie so she could hold you as she already waits in anticipation to hold you into her arms. Reluctantly, you crawl into bed, sitting there a little awkwardly before Billie pulls you close ,,Please never scare us like this again babydoll'' she warns, her eyes filled with nothing but softness and kindness and you simply nod before she presses a kiss to your cheek, content to have you back in her embrace.

A long time passes, while you stay in Billie's embrace, before you dare glance at Wilhemina who sits in silence beside you. As your eyes meet her own, she carefully observes your features, checking for any signs of lingering pain but all she can find is sadness in your beautiful eyes and it causes for her heart to ache. Subconsciously, your hand wanders towards hers, before holding onto it, and it takes her by surprise but she doesn't mind, simply squeezing it a little to reassure she was there. ,,I-'' you begin speaking but she is quick to stop you. ,,Little one it's okay'' she reassures, knowing that you were about to apologise for the millionth time. ,,You scared me that's all'' she explains as she presses a kiss to the back of your hand. ,,Come here'' she offers and you wiggle away from Billie's arms and move into hers. You find yourself nestled in her arms, as she holds you close before resting her chin on your head, before she begins speaking again ,,I never want you to hide from us again little one'' she scolds a little, her voice remaining gentle. ,,You deserve every bit of care that you show us'' she reminds you.

And as your eyes meet hers, you see the genuine love in them as well as the relief of having you in her arms safe and sound. ,,Promise me'' she urges before you meet her eyes. ,,Promise'' you whisper, smiling at her. ,,Good girl'' she praises before pressing a kiss to your forehead and wrapping you back into her arms. And then as the night wears on, you find yourself where you belong in the arms of your lovers and despite the chaos that today had brought upon the four of you, you know that no matter what, you have each other's back and before you slowly fall asleep, you remember the promise you have made to your girlfriend, wanting to be better and open up to them more. ,,I'm here little one, you're okay'' she coos before your eyelids feel heavier and Wilhemina eventually coaxes you to sleep.

#sarah paulson #cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #ahs #american horror story #billie dean howard #sarah paulson x reader #cordelia goode x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard x reader

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ruershrimo · 6 hours

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take me back (take me with you) | f. megumi x fem! reader | chapter 7: conversation

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chapter synopsis:

' “I can’t believe you’re leaving us for a boy," she goes, rolling her eyes. She doesn't even blink.

“I’m not.” You are. '

---

Megumi calls you back. You leave for Tokyo again, like a soul yearning for its body.

word count: ~6k; tws: none for now :)!!

19-6-2018

“So you’re really going to let go of them now?” your father asks.

“...yeah.”

“That’s good. I’ll miss that Itadori boy, though.”

You will, too.

In a way you suppose Megumi and Yuuji are very similar. They’d go well together, be good, fast friends and all that.

They’re both undoubtedly good people, no matter how they’ve beat people up before and how different their beliefs may be.

In Megumi’s case, everyone knew how good a person Tsumiki was, her younger brother included. Her kindness and virtue extended itself, inspiring other people around her. But Megumi was a good person, too— polite, patient (most of the time, unless it were Gojo— but who wouldn’t be annoyed by that man, right?), kind in his own way. He cared for you in all sorts of ways in the past, even then you could tell, gentle with animals and objects and your hand. Gentle in his own way. Giving you reminders despite the tiny calumniations sprinkled in (they barely do as much damage as comb bristles can), being sharp because he must have had to, kind because it was in his very nature. Easy on the eyes, tall, deep soothing voice— he ticked all the boxes for that, too. You bet that if things were different, and the two of you had stayed in touch with each other, you’d have fallen deeply in love with it by now. Yet that thought only makes you feel sour now that things hadn’t gone that way at all.

And Yuuji, too— there was no explanation needed for Yuuji. Even Megumi could tell he was a good person. And at some times he was almost like Tsumiki. You weren’t ever surprised that you’d caught feelings for him, because— who wouldn’t? He was always popular, even if he was ignorant of his own charm around others. But he wasn’t just a good guy with a ripped torso, he was honest, perceptive and smart in conversations. Smarter than he ever credited himself for. Smart in a way you could never be— people with cute faces, nice bodies and good social skills were in a league of their own, practically. You’d thought that for a long time.

Did either of them ever know how you felt?

Probably not. Your heart was guarded, intensely so, and you’d never lay your feelings bare and out so easily. You weren’t the type of person to say you loved people as easily as others did, even within your own family.

This, you presume, is probably an acquired trait, now that you think about it. You were much more different as a child, free with praise and love and unabashed affection as well as appreciation for the people around you. What changed?

(Everything.)

You miss 2010. You miss Tsumiki the way you miss your mother’s cooking, miss her the way you miss when you wrote emails and letters and text messages to her with multi-coloured pens or your old phone that eventually broke a year after. You miss the conversations the two of you had, miss how you used to be your parents’ little angel.

And in the end it all comes back to that, doesn’t it? 2010. Nostalgia. Reminiscing on old memories in a way akin to how the elderly do in their youth. That just made you seem more pathetic, because, weren’t you supposed to be making those memories right now, at this time of your life?

You’re a teenager. You should be going out with friends, and having fun, not rotting at home ruminating on the past, with the only friends you’ve ever had hundreds of kilometres away from you (you weren’t sure if you could even call one of them a ‘friend’ anymore), and your acquaintances not close enough to replace them (how could they ever? How could there ever be a replacement for Yuuji?)

In a way you feel your life is miserable: awkward, socially-impaired teenage girl with her only friend practically out of her life at this point; nothing special to your name besides a cursed technique that most times does you more harm than good; stuck not being able to completely get over friends she met at eight who left her as quickly as someone can blink their eyes; with the thinking process of a nagging, stubborn mother sometimes, or if not that then a blurry, mingled train of thought that gets delayed or lost when moving from station to station; someone not of use at all. Not miserable, you think to yourself like a slap to the face, pathetic.

You’re not sure how Tsumiki is now— maybe she has a partner, or better friends than you were, or she’s busy being president of the student council or something (she’d be a sterling leader, of that you’re certain, that girl who you’d always known was bound to go places in the span of her lifetime).

Hopefully, she’s alright, and doing the best she can in life. That’s all you wish for when it comes to Tsumiki.

At this point, there’s no point in wishing to join them, or to linger on them and memories of the past. It’s a mosquito in summer heat, which is why, if it stays, you decide, you’ll just suppress and ignore it until it goes away. Even if you didn’t know how long it would take you to get over them— weeks, months, but goodness forbid a whole lifetime or forever— you needed to accept that you’d be like this for nearly the rest of your life: pathetic, lonely— ah, that’s the word that so very perfectly delineates the situation you’re in— and then some.

So that’s why, when you hear your phone buzzing on your bed like a cicada during a balmy night, you assume it’s someone else. Yuuji must be busy settling in (he’s been texting you, and you took that as a sign that he wouldn’t call), and Megumi must be… —Well. Megumi has made a promise, and it’s not that you don’t believe in him, but it would be better to expect less than what you’d like to in order to evade disappointment.

Must be someone else. A prank call, or a scammer, or something. Or a telemarketer, but you’d be surprised if telemarketers were calling you and not your father. And you were never one to pick calls up mindlessly anyway, so if it were some stranger out to get you or swindle you, you’d just hang up or check the number.

If not either a scam or a telemarketer (well you suppose both of those could be scams in certain contexts), though, then you’d suspect it would be either Yuuji (Yuuji’s the one who has been texting you, after all, conversations strewn over checking in with the other over the past few hours or snippets of advice from you telling him not to bother Megumi very much, and to be cautious and keep himself safe) or Gojo— definitely not Megumi, and probably not Gojo either, but still it was more likely that Gojo was calling you instead of Megumi, so you’re considering it— and you can’t really remember Gojo’s number anyway, so what if an unknown number wasn’t a prank call or something—

You wonder if you should just pick it up instead of burying your head in your study notes and overthinking everything.

But you know it’s definitely not Megumi.

You check the phone.

Well, you’ll be damned.

It’s Fushiguro Megumi.

You know his number by heart, after all. Keyed it in too many times to forget, and it’s not like he’d have any reason to change it. Not with the way he cares for things, inanimate objects, not with the tenderly quiet, secretly caring, emotionally jaded way he maintains them.

“Ah… hello?”

Your heart thumps in your chest and heat flares up in your cheeks with a frenetic speed.

“Hi,” you blurt out, shakily. You’re sure your voice is quivering, yet your mind feels like it’s barely functioning, almost about to drown in a seven-feet-deep pool, so you can’t really tell. You can’t really hear yourself.

You don’t know why you feel like this— no, you know exactly why, actually. It’s because you haven’t gotten over him. Your thoughts are scrambled but you know, for sure, that you’re like this because you want to get rid of feelings like these but you can’t. Or because you’ve been saying that to yourself like a mantra, for so long, even though a part of you wants it to stay— out of what, that’s what you don’t know; maybe desperation or nostalgia or an inability to stop dwelling on days long gone. But you know what this is— you’ve seen the movies, read the manga, watched the dramas. It’s romance. Crushes. Something you’re not quite able to call love yet, something you’re too scared to properly name, still, but something you can understand is one-sided nonetheless.

“…hi. [Name].”

“Hello…”

What happens when two estranged childhood friends with a book’s worth of history behind their relationship that happen to be socially awkward teenagers actually have a conversation semi-beyond what keeps them estranged in the first place?

“Hi— no, wait… how are you?”

Pot, meet kettle, because you’re going off nothing but the fact that you’re at the very least surprised (the other emotions are too complicated to explain) that he’s speaking to you again, and not just on text, but he’s calling, and he sounds like he’s reading off a script, but the script is in a whole other language, somehow, and the uncertain nervousness in his voice is tangible, even for a deep, low voice like his.

Script or not, you appreciate the effort, though.

“I’m good, um… I’m happy you were able to call. It’s been a long time.”

“That’s good.”

There’s silence on the other line; time feels like it’s moving achingly slowly. But you’re mildly happy.

Not happy, maybe, but you definitely feel light, as if you’ve been severed from the heaviness of everything else that has happened lately. This is the first time in years something like this has ever happened.

“Ah, wait, I forgot to ask! Sorry, um.. how are you?”

“I’m doing alright, too. Oh, wait, I should apologise. I didn’t tell you— thanks for helping with my injuries the other day. Gojo told me about it after you left. You… you didn’t have to, though. You shouldn’t have risked your health like that.”

You shake your head. “Don’t mention it. You know why I do this, anyway.” Out of necessity or a need to be useful, you’re not even sure yourself, but he must know, to some degree, right? It seems as if he’d be the one to know the most of this, of you— at least, when matters came to this. “And I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Dr Ieiri probably ended up helping more with the bigger ones once the three of you got back. I mean, she did, right?”

“…no. She said that she didn’t want to waste her time, so if injuries were more minor like mine, she wouldn’t heal them fully.”

“...ah.” More minor? Seriously, doctor? You’d normally not question her judgement over matters that she had more expertise in dealing with, but seriously?

“I’ll be fine, though. Most of the bandages have come off, and all.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

You wonder where he is now, on the bed, maybe, or sitting on the floor. You’ve seen the classrooms, but not the dormitories— you hope wherever he is, that it’s comfortable. That he’s okay.

“We’re going to see a new student soon.”

“Really? Have you met them before?”

“No, but Gojo said she’s from the countryside. But we’re meeting her in Harajuku, for some reason.”

“Oh, Harajuku! I miss it,” you let out a plaintive sigh, “I can’t wait to be back in Tokyo. You know, whatever happens, I still love that city like nothing else. I know how many people hate it, but I love it so much.” And you love it so much in the first place, mostly because of Megumi and Tsumiki. “Maybe she just wants to chase a bit of the sweet city life— I mean, you know how it is when country bumpkins go to the city for the first time… kind of. Or when they love the city— yeah, that’s a better way of saying it. I was like that, kind of.”

“...if you’re worried about the train ride here and want to travel alone, I could always pay for you. Uh… wait—”

“Oh, no, no! There’s no need, uhm— thank you anyway, it’s just—”

“It’s Gojo’s money anyway.”

“Pft,” you snort. Anything to seep out some of Gojo’s money like gluttonous leeches, right? “Nah, I’ll be fine. I mean, I don’t even think I’ll be able to come back in a few years’ time, and by then I won’t even be relying on my parents’ money for this stuff anymore— I mean, I will still be relying on their money, but I’ll be managing it as my own.”

He chuckles lightly over the line, the silent way he shows his emotions, the way that goes unnoticed if one is not attentive to it. It feels like he’s whispering directly into your ear, and the heat on your face (which you weren’t even sure was still there until that point). Your heart skips a beat and it completely, absolutely shocks you. “...the offer still stands.”

Yeah, you can get behind it if he’s like this now. What happened to him, anyway? Puberty hit him like a brick and gave him, like, one more ounce of emotional maturity?

You shake your head like a character in a piece of crappy romance fanfiction. No way. Not now, at least. Calm down.

(...you’re just a girl.)

“Well, no take backs from now on, okay? Even if it’s, like, five years into the future, you’ll still be using Gojo’s credit card to cover for all my travel expenses.”

He does it again, that low, soft, attractive sound. Makes you want to hit him and hit yourself at the same time, and then kick your feet up in the air giddily, and then throttle yourself, if it were possible, out of sheer embarrassment. “Yeah.”

You’re having the time of your life.

“Anyway, how is everything else? Like, are your studies and grades okay? Is the training you do alright to handle?”

“My grades are pretty okay,” he answers, “Not like Gojo cares, honestly. And the training’s fine, it’s nothing I’m not used to.”

“Gojo seems like he’d be a good teacher. When he wants to, he can command respect pretty easily, too. I guess he just… chooses not to. But I saw it yesterday, when you and Yuuji were passed out in the hospital.”

It still strikes a pang of guilt in your chest, your inability to have done anything else besides calling Gojo over for help.

“...I suppose he does.”

“Yeah.”

“How about you? Itadori, he… he can be an idiot sometimes, but he speaks of you really admirably. He talks about how smart you are a lot.”

The thought of Megumi calling Yuuji an idiot of all things doesn’t feel like it falls short from him, but it still makes you frown— though, you realise that that’s just his way of expressing things, because in a way he’d treated you somewhat the same in the past, even if he hadn’t shown it outright or expressed it very vividly. Classic Megumi.

“Hey, he’s smarter than people give him credit for, okay? Wait until you see how talented he is at things other than sports and martial arts. You’d be surprised after trying the meatballs he makes. Would be good if you asked him to give you the recipe sometime; I make them, like, once a week, at least.”

He sighs, “...I will. But the point is, he cares for you a lot.”

“Yeah, beautiful soul, that guy. Loves people the way curious children love nature.”

“That would be a fitting way to put it.”

“How are the dogs?”

“My shikigami?”

“Yeah. Do they have names?”

“The black one is Kuro and the white one is Shiro.”

“You named them black and white?”

“Look, I named them when I was barely six years old, and six year olds aren’t exactly the best when it comes to these things…”

You giggle, “So the name stuck?”

“Yeah, sort of.”

Real cute.

“What about your father? How is he?”

“He’s okay, but, well. I guess we’re not that close anymore.”

“...I see.” He probably can’t imagine a version of you who wasn’t immensely close to her parents. You couldn’t then, either.

“We’ve been talking even less now that my mother’s in the hospital, but at least I get to talk to him before he eats, maybe. I’ve been doing most of the cooking now that my mother isn’t here and my father doesn’t really know how to handle himself in our kitchen without her guidance.”

“Oh… if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your mother?”

“Cancer.”

You can practically hear the gulp he’s taking, the bobbing of his throat— sensitive topic. “I’m… so sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay, don’t be,” you reassure him, “I should have told you that day anyway. I was just… exploding at everybody on that night. I should apologise— I’m sorry for how badly I treated you.”

“No,” he goes, “No, you shouldn’t. I understand why you were like that that night. And it was mostly my fault, too, so…”

“No, no, I’m serious! Feel free to ask almost anything as long as I have actual answers to your questions and all.”

“Still… I just wanted to know. Sorry if I caused you any trouble.”

“No— you didn’t do any of that at all, don’t worry! I’m alright with people asking about this. Ah, anyway… besides Yuuji, do you have any friends?”

“Itadori and I aren’t friends.”

“Trust me, if I asked him, I bet he’d beg to differ. Yuuji’s like that with people— soon he’ll be more important to you than you could have ever thought at first.”

“Whatever you say,” he sort of grunts, “But I don’t have any friends, I think… except you, maybe. What about you?”

You were honestly expecting him not to consider you a friend at all, and at this point so much has happened that wouldn’t even be that bothered if he no longer thought of you as one but called you anyway out of his commitment to his promises, or as an apology.

“I’m surprised you can still call me a friend,” you say. Calling people instead of talking to them physically does something to your inhibitions.

“...should I not?”

“No, no, I’m happy,” you say over the phone. You’ll forget this conversation tomorrow, at least, when the sun has risen and the night returns back the hold you have over yourself, your composure, to you. You’ll act like this never happened. So you’ll say whatever you want to now, disgorging yourself of years of withheld secrets. “I’m happy that we’re still friends. I think I like that.

“Yeah?”

“Um— yeah, it seems like a good place to start,” you grin slightly. “And I, well. I don’t really have any friends beyond Yuuji,” —You’re not even sure if Tsumiki still sees you as a friend— “Even if I may have acquaintances like Sasaki or Iguchi it still feels like Yuuji’s one of the only people I can give that kind of title to, so, um… the more the merrier?”

“That’s… nice.”

“...it is, isn’t it?”

“Thank you.”

Why? “Okay.”

The two of you go through the next few seconds in silence, time feeling like it’s blending and bleeding into a mix of years and events. You can hear the light, steady sound of his breathing from the other line. If you could, you’d sleep to it— fuck the phone bill, you’ll be the one paying it in your father’s stead this time if it was for this.

It’s comforting, and you don’t want to break it— the quiet. If he can hear you now, can hear how you’re breathing through a smile with your chest only slightly moving, you hope it feels the same as the sound of his breathing did for you. You hope it feels just like home. Like a warm pillow in the one place you love the most that you bury your head into when the weather gets especially cold.

“Fushiguro!”

Oh dear.

Wincing at the sound of the creaking door’s shrill shriek as it's opened and then hits the wall, you know exactly who it is— you’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“Is that Yuuji?”

“Oi! I told you not to barge into my room like that!” Megumi shouts.

“Huh? You’re calling someone? Sorry. Wait, is it [Name]?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Hi, Yuuji.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Is it alright if we do, Megumi? Just for a few seconds.”

“Fine,” he sighs. You can practically hear that eye roll.

“Yo!” he cheers.

“Has everything been okay lately?” you ask.

“Yeah. We’re meeting a new student soon.”

“Ah, yeah. Megumi told me.”

“—Oh, and my uniform came in! It looks pretty neat.”

“That’s good. Maybe you can send me a picture once you start wearing it, then.”

“I will!”

Things are going better than you thought they would.

21-6-2018

It’s been a few days now.

You don’t know Sasaki and Iguchi well enough to call them friends, but the three of you do know each other. You had never decided to change any contacts with them, and considering that they and you were never closer than acquaintances, friends of a friend— you had never really regretted it. But now that Yuuji is gone— and you know he’s not dead, but still— you wonder whether you should have gotten closer to them, just to be less alone once Yuuji left, even if it could not be the way things were with Yuuji. (“I thought I was a pretty lonely guy, and sometimes I still do. Like— I mean, you’re a lonely girl too sometimes, I think,” he had told you as you patched him up.)

Still, Yuuji and you were two peas in a pod— so they’re bound to ask what happened to him soon enough, especially Iguchi.

You’ll have to start getting used to spending your Thursdays alone. And then you’d have to start getting used to every other day without him, too. If you went to the arcade or watched movies or sing-screamed the lyrics to English songs you don’t know the Japanese translations of without his presence there, you know how it wouldn’t feel the same. In life it’s not what you do that matters, you’ve come to realise— it’s who you’re doing these things with. That’s what puts meaning to it all and makes all things done in your life worthwhile.

The two of them pass you by during lunch.

“[Last Name]? —Oh, hey!” Sasaki says as she turns around.

You almost scream and run away like a mouse fleeing from the eyes of a vicious house cat, tremors in your voice. “Hello…”

“Where’s Yuuji, by the way? The occult club’s going to fall apart without him.”

You pause. “He transferred to another school…”

“Huh?” she goes, Iguchi almost reeling back in shock. “Transferred? But why? We’ve barely even made it to the middle of the year!”

“I… I don’t know, it was something really urgent,”

23-6-2018

Your room is a cluttered mess— lucky as you are that it’s the weekend, the past week has been a rollercoaster that knocked your room’s usual standard of cleanliness off track. Scattered all over your desk were worksheets, notebooks, graph paper pages and foolscap paper, chicken-scratch writing and meticulous notes scribbled all over them to compensate for your absence the day after the incident took place.

It isn’t the time or the discipline you lack— it’s just that it’s going to be awfully tedious. You’ll have to wipe your desk again, and clean the walls, and sort through all your clothes, too, since you haven’t been folding them in any way that isn’t merely fastidious and nearly careless. So as you get to work, you suppose that calling someone wouldn’t hurt.

Maybe you could call Megumi. That would be okay.

For the past few years, you’ve never noticed it. So when you do, it hits you like a bullet train at the fastest of speeds.

You miss him. Not just in the way you miss 2010, the way you miss the past, the way you miss and mourn the person you used to be. It had been so obvious for Tsumiki, but not for him, and now that you know this it’ll be another quiet revelation— another rediscovery of fragments of yourself concealed by memories.

You miss him— all of him; you yearned to be his friend again because he was unlike Tsumiki who you knew cherished you as you did her; you miss him regardless of who he is now, because somewhere inside him is the boy who read dog books and brought you to the school library and ran your finger through water when you burned it. Somewhere inside him is the person who offered to hold your bag as he walked with you through a snowy garden, and helped you when your nose bled.

So it would be okay to call Megumi right now.

“Fushiguro speaking.”

“Hi, Megumi. Are you busy?”

“Not right now.”

“Want to call?”

“Fushiguro!” It’s Yuuji. “Wanna go—”

“I said I’m not going!”

You chuckle, “Be nice. Were the two of you supposed to go somewhere?”

“Nothing important. Gojo said he wanted us to ‘bond’ with each other, so he concluded that we could watch a movie. Some kind of gory horror film or something.”

He’s… actually making an obvious effort not to scold Yuuji that much or call him some insulting, derogatory term this time… wow.

“Ah, yeah. Yuuji likes his horror movies.”

“Anyway, anything urgent you wanted to tell me?”

“No, I’m just… uh—” you laugh nervously, “I’m just a little bored.” Nowadays you’re not really sure what he’d do— scold you, maybe, or roll his eyes so hard that you can hear it over the line, or he may even flash into a quick bit of awkwardness and hesitation through his words.

Or maybe— and this was the worst of it all, he’d ask why you were calling him, and his bouts of awkwardness would have only been something temporary, soon to be replaced once again by anger and annoyance, the same he gives to everyone else— even if you knew he didn’t always mean it, per se. No more special treatment for you.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, uh… I have to clean, and usually it’s not as much as what I have to do today, so I just thought that since the only other person in the house is my father and we don’t really talk much anymore, we could, um… chat for a while. Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Uh-huh, so.” You stand up, leaving your phone on your desk and putting the call on speaker mode. The mountain of papers and books is a wasteland and your desk has been degraded to a landfill— the state of it would make your mother a wailing mess— no, she’d faint instantly as soon as she saw it, becoming worse of a mess than the table itself was. “Anything interesting happened lately?”

“Not really.”

“Oh—! Yuuji sent me a picture of his uniform the other day. Was that one special?”

“Yeah. But they let students make adjustments to the uniform, and he said he hadn’t changed anything, so I think that was Gojo’s doing.”

“Oh, well, that’s Gojo. It suits him, though, right? Not to sound mean or be presumptuous, but…” you chuckle, “When you wear the uniform, you look so formal. It’s not a bad thing— it’s just that Yuuji’s just always been more casual like that. And the red of the hoodie goes with his hair, too!”

“I guess so.”

“I can’t imagine you wearing anything other than the default uniform, though. Not to insult you, I mean, you still look good in the normal uniform, I just— can’t imagine it.” You remark, sorting the materials and books by size and subject. You’ve got to handle some of the drawers, too, now that you’ve started and can’t stop your momentum just yet. You can already feel the dust particles that have gathered on whatever is inside them still, jostling around once you’ve taken them out.

“If you’re going to say it like that, you can just say it outright.”

“No, no! I mean that I just can’t imagine you wearing, like, Yuuji’s uniform. Wait, what do the other students’ uniforms look like?”

“The second years?”

“Yeah. Did they choose the normal ones?”

“Inumaki did. They have three boys and one girl, but only two of the boys wear the normal uniform. Okkotsu has a special uniform in white.”

“Oh, I see,” you nod your head, “It’s a nice uniform, though. I wish I could wear a uniform that pretty.”

“You could always enrol yourself here,” he suggests, “They’d welcome you with open arms.”

“Maybe they will,” you chuckle, “But my mother would be adamant on me staying in the ‘normal’ world. She’s unyielding like that.”

“And your father?”

“Wouldn’t mind, at least I don’t think…” you say, “I’ll have to wonder when to tell him if I do end up in jujutsu high; you never know when he’s mad. He’s always unpredictable like that nowadays and it’s not… particularly pleasant.”

“I see. It would be good if you were here, though. You would be closer to Dr Ieiri that way. And it would do good, because, um… well, I’d like you here. You’d be… good for the people around you here.”

“Ah, you— you would?” you ask, slightly phased— not like he hasn’t been a bit nicer to you since you’ve seen him again (maybe it was the awkwardness, maybe it was the guilt). “Thank you,” you say, the corners of your mouth tugging up sheepishly, heading to the dusty drawer (you haven’t touched it in what feels like years, usually excluding it from your list of things to clean).

After a scrupulous amount of wiping away at the dust outside of and surrounding it, you open the drawer with a slight bit of anticipation— you don’t expect much, but you’re a person who lingers on the past like a ghost that has forgotten how time has passed. There wouldn’t be much in this drawer to reminisce on, you presume, but you still approach it with an eager fascination— you’re the type to do so, after all.

Of everything there, the most noteworthy are two things you grabbed almost immediately— you could never forget how they felt, and the weight that they held in your life back then: a letter, addressed but never delivered to the person you were talking to right now, and a cigarette with a hastily scribbled slew of numbers on it and a lipstick mark on its end.

Oh, that letter. That letter.

From what you remember, you’ve never rebelled against your parents before. At least, not with anything major— for a long time, you were their good girl, and you never disobeyed them, as much as you wanted to at times. You still are, still stuck with that age-old drive to be useful. (But was there even a point in that anymore? At least, was there one with your parents?). You didn’t picture yourself as any kind of righteous goody-two-shoes, but you definitely weren’t a rebel or a delinquent. You followed their instructions and seldom ever questioned what they told you, and so it had always been subtly implanted in your brain that they would be alright with anything you did or said. Yet the first time you did actually start to question them, you realised that their belief in your ‘obedience’ as pure love— and maybe it was; you loved them so much you were blinded and trusted them with everything and did anything they wanted their baby to do— you realised they only treated you so lovingly if you were not an actual person with your own ideals and beliefs.

(But they still loved you, right?)

Even now, you still do obey them and listen to them. If your father needed anything, he could consider it done; if your mother wanted her clothes to be patched up you’d try your utmost best to withstand the pricking of needles and bring it back to her hospital room with bandaged fingers. It was like that with your mother: even if at times it seemed like the only pain she wanted for you was callouses from a pen or pricks from needles, at other times you feel she could have known you’d end up like her, maybe. Maybe she saw it as a curse: the worlds the two of you were born in were different, and she wanted you to stay in yours, lest you die or live in a world of endless pain.

You’ve been doing it for a long time: being dismissive of yourself, prone to self-prostration, subservient; the lovingness of a mother, the sweetness of a teenage girl (you hoped), the kindness of a caring friend. Maybe it was Tsumiki— maybe it was because you’d always seen this in Tsumiki. She was always smiling, always caring; taking on the weight of motherhood before she could carry the weight of her school bag. Hugging you with her saccharine smile; braiding her hair with gentle hands and holding your wrist with her hair tie on it even gentler. (You still have it with you. You had planned to start taking it off more once Yuuji left, but you suppose some habits take longer than a week to develop.) All while having that sickening, fantastical, mysterious sweetness of a teenage girl in what you now understand could have been a hidden misery— because caring for someone like a mother while suppressing the thoughts that spoke to you to act like a child was something you wanted to replicate until you realised you understood it. And then you no longer wanted to recreate it. (Maybe that was the way it was for every woman or girl you knew: watching someone you loved hurt themself or not being able to do anything to prevent it when they started. Life was a cycle that way. A very annoying, frustrating one full of unfortunate circumstances and wrongly-picked out decks of cards.)

“…you know what? I think I may be able to come,” you tell him.

“You don’t have to go against your father for our sake.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I think I know who to ask for help. Thank you, Megumi.”

“Hi, Dr Ieiri?”

“Kid? That you?” she goes, the slightest bit of excitement stark against her usual deadpan tone. “I thought you’d never call because of that old man.”

“Haha, yeah— sorry to disturb you, but, um, Dr Ieiri? I may want to take you up on that offer, by the way, but um, I’m still on the fence. I mean, I know I want to be like you and do what you do but… I don’t know, I’m not quite sure about leaving the two of them alone here and all. But anyway, I just called you because I wanted to ask if there was, you know, any way you could get me to Tokyo somehow. I need to pass something to someone, but, um… I guess I’m going with this with the hope that I’ll change my mind and join you. But I’m… perpetually on the fence for now, I guess.”

“Pft,” she snorts, “You little rebel, I’m in. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you so much.”

24-6-2018

The decision and the plan were made as swiftly as you could.

You decide to tell your father— you wouldn’t want to deceive him, after all. At least, you’d give him a quick notice. And then you’d leave. Like a snowflake before the first day of spring. He’ll probably tell your mother.

“I’m leaving for Tokyo for a while,” you say, “I’ll be back before you can even realise I’m gone. Invitation from Dr Ieiri.”

25-6-2018

“Why?” your father asks, the night before you leave. He suggested going out together at least once before you left. He always knew when you were making white lies.

“I guess that maybe I’m just too much like you, Daddy.”

For the first time in years he hugs you on the doorstep, patting you on the back on the day you’re set to leave. “Make sure you study and work hard,” he reminds you.

“I’m leaving for Tokyo,” you announce.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving us for a boy,” she goes, rolling her eyes. She doesn’t even blink.

“I’m not.” You are.

“You know, your father travelled all over the country to see me again after we’d first met.”

“Oh. Okay?”

“And he’s always been dedicated to his job and dedicated to helping people.”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m saying that the two of you are very similar. I’ve lived through this story before,” she states, “And you look just like your father right now.” your mother says. She hasn’t smiled the way she used to— you remember it vividly, that vibrant gleam in her, the liveliest and loveliest of life— in ages and you don’t think she will, not now of all times.

“Really? Sometimes he says I take after you more.”

“You will.”

It doesn’t feel like a curse. Even if it usually would make your heart well up in guilt, it doesn’t feel like a curse.

Maybe she knows that her time is running out. Maybe this is resignation. Whatever it is, you hold her hand first, but you’re also the first one to let the other go, your fingers slipping away from hers. You leave the door for the last time in a while, making another round in your life of that carousel of abandonment and reuniting and departures.

25-6-2018

Dr Ieiri greets you with a calm smile on her pallid face.

“Good to see you again.”

“It’s good to be back here,” you sigh.

It is.

You keep your hand on your other hand’s wrist, holding them in front of you. The cherry hair tie on it feels warm against your skin as you exit the station, summer heat embracing it softly.

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