#there’s no version where katniss doesn’t volunteer

[arishaw3434]

Loosing my mind thinking about how even though there’s no version of the story in which Orpheus doesn’t look back.

Also thinking of the fact that there’s no version of the story where Orpheus doesn’t at least try to get Eurydice back.

#orpheus #eurydice #greek mythology #greek myth retellings #hadestown #there’s no version where katniss doesn’t volunteer #there’s no version where prim lives

[aj-lenoire]

okay so one of the changes made when the hunger games books were adapted into the films was something they did with cato—the scene on the cornucopia, where cato has peeta in a headlock, is quite possibly the most devious scene in the film, and the best change made (closely tied with the scene where haymitch convinces seneca crane to make the rule change)

in the novel, cato has one line; he warns katniss what happens if she fires an arrow at him, “shoot me and we [cato and peeta] both go down”. he smiles triumphantly and laughs a bit, and coupled with katniss’ internal monologue when she blows up their supplies, it adds to the idea that he’s not quite there, that he’s not totally sane

in the film, however…

Cato: Go on, shoot! And we’d both go down and you’d win. Go on. I’m dead anyway! I always was, right? I didn’t know that until now. Isn’t that what they [the Capitol audience] want, huh? No! I can still do this. I can still do this. One more kill. It’s the only thing I know how to do. Bring pride to my district. Not that it matters.

now whilst i love suzanne collins and she is a damn clever writer, i think in this case the movie did it better, because this little monologue makes cato go from a generic short-term villain (compared to the long-term villain of the capitol) to a complex and almost tragic character

in both the book and the movie, his death, which a lesser story might frame as a victorious moment for the heroes, is unsettling and tragic, but it’s done in different ways.

yes, he’s a volunteer, a career, but district 2, more so than the rest of panem, has been completely flooded with propaganda and treated more favourably. we see it more clearly in the third book, but the first two show us in part that district 2 is very much how the capitol wants it (and the other districts) to be; it’s completely brainwashed. unlike 12, 11, etc, there’s not such a lack of resources that widespread (but low-level so as not to result in punishment) resentment fosters within the general population. 12 in particular is governed much more loosely, and people have greater freedom because of it. but in 2 the majority of the population is totally loyal, unquestioning, and caught up in the idea that the capitol really is generous and the games really are a glorious opportunity

in the film he’s 18, in the book he’s 16. that makes him, fundamentally a kid. he’s a kid who’s been brainwashed, who hasn’t had the chance to think for himself if maybe the capitol isn’t all that great, who has been fed nothing but heaps and heaps of propaganda, in a district that pretty much buys it wholesale, so he would have likely not come across anyone like, say, gale, whose personal hardships (and to some extent the less strict government) gave him the opportunity to question the capitol and think for himself

I’m not saying he’s totally innocent, obviously–there’s parts in both versions where he shows genuine amusement in hunting and killing his fellow tributes, and only when he’s on the other end of the weapon does he realise that no, this actually isn’t a game.

in the middle of the night, surrounded by vicious attack dogs, knowing that he’s going to die no matter what, cato finally understands what the games really are. terror and subjugation. much like a ww1 soldier having romanticised ideas of war and glory, only to be met with the miserable, awful reality of the trenches, he has bought into the government’s propaganda at the cost of his life, and even worse, his humanity. he’s a kid who never had the chance to think for himself, to be anything other than a tribute, a killer. killing is the only thing he knows how to do.

it is what he has been trained to do his whole life, in the academy for the career tributes, he has been told that he can rise above his life as slave to the capitol and bring pride to his district. but ultimately, it doesn’t matter. whether he dies or becomes a victor he’ll just be a piece in the capitol’s games, he’ll just be another slave. he’ll only one step above district 2′s population, just like they’re only one step above all the other districts. he’ll still be far below the capitol, the people who made him this way.

#the hunger games #hunger games cato #aj watches #aj abstractions

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

Scattered Screams Deleted Scenes

Eleanor, consider this a little reward for you to read through after you’ve finished your final exams today! I hope they went well for you!

Now, as I’ve done with most of my longer series in the past, I have compiled a list of all of the ideas I had from way back in November when I started thinking up ideas for Scattered Screams. There are a handful that aren’t organized by what part they would be in as they had no part at all, but the ones that would have been in a part, are labeled with where they belong. Here is my list of deleted scenes!

The earliest version of this story was vastly different. I never let it go public, but I had a full, well-organized Pinterest board for this alternate version. I had just come out of writing Through the Valley and it really shows as things are entirely different right from the start. Originally, the arena was going to be a flooded, overgrown city where muttations ruled over the land and the only way to escape them was to stay in high-rise skyscrapers, crossing from building to building on old, rickety sky bridges and collecting supplies from whatever was left in the buildings. The only solid thing I had written out for this before I scrapped it was the ending, so here is my original ending: 

“Vivien and Royce make it to the end like Katniss and Peeta. After arguing for a while about who they think should go home to their families, Vivien suggests they just wait it out. Royce agrees and they go to sleep in a skyscraper. While Royce sleeps, Vivien goes up to the roof with the plan of jumping off, leaving Royce the winner. The gamemakers make it morning which wakes Royce and when he finds her gone, he runs up to the roof to check if she’s there. He gets there just in time to see her standing by the edge and tries to talk her down, pulling a “you jump, I jump” kind of moment. Instead, they fight for it like Hawkeye and Black Widow and it ends the same way or they both decide to jump and the capitol saves them.”

So, yeah, my intention was to make everyone, including you ✨suffer✨

A few things remained the same from the early version of Scattered Screams - Jade, Erica, and Lexi being a big part of this. In my initial version, they were a team of five and Lexi ended up betraying them to the Careers before getting herself killed. I didn’t think of Riven until I started working on my list of characters for each district and he was supposed to be just a throwaway character for Scattered Screams. Once I started writing him more and liking his character, I threw him into my Christmas stories in order to form a sort of connection with him before killing him off in Scattered Screams. Initially, he was going to die early on or go off on his own in the arena, using the billboards around the city to send messages to not only the Capitol, but also the other tributes. In the end, I liked him a lot and, when I changed the arena to the cruise ship, I went through all that I had written and rewrote it all to fit his personality, his character, and his bond with Vivien.

In one of my early drafts, I wrote out some little ideas for Bentley being the one in the arena, not Royce. It was going to be a volunteering situation where Royce was reaped and Bentley stepped in out of instinct, but I didn’t really care for it as much. Obviously, it didn’t last long, but the idea was there all the same. In the arena, it was going to feel more like a Katniss and Rue situation than a Katniss and Peeta situation. In the end, Vivien would have willingly killed herself to let Bentley go home to his brothers as she is the oldest of her siblings and knows how much it would hurt his brothers if he was to die, especially by her hand.

Almost everything until the arena has remained the same since the get-go, but this was something I wrote really early on that I only partially kept: 

Vivien doesn’t want to get close to anyone because she remembers what happened with Mick and Miles the year before. Despite Viv’s best efforts, Royce weasels his way into Vivien’s little circle. He falls first, she falls harder. In the end, the only reason they’re sticking together is that their teammates asked them to. Royce gets poisoned by Serena and gets really sick, fast. Vivien reluctantly decides to help him because he’s Mick’s friend’s brother. She doesn’t care about him (or so she claims) and wants to help him so her conscious is clear, but ends up falling for him as they work together on a cure.

A couple of things I tried to incorporate early on were some basic themes that call back to other stories or films. A few quotes in the story are lines from Marvel movies, The Last of Us, Harry Potter, or shows I’ve seen clips of on TikTok. Obviously, Romeo and Juliet played a good part in this story, but so did Titanic. Not only does the story take place on a literal cruise ship, but I also used a few direct quotes from the movie. Early on, when they’re on the roof, Royce asks Vivien if she’s scared of being on the roof and she tells him, “I’ll jump if you do.” This is something they call back to a few times in the series and it’s something Jack and Rose say in the movie - “You jump, I jump.” They were devoted to each other early on and it shows. Another thing I was going to do was pull an actual Titanic and sink the ship when they got to the wheelhouse, but it didn’t make sense in the long run and I had to discard it.

Something I never really touched on was the location of the arena, but I did sort of hint at it in the epilogue when Vivien mentions the bridge she saw from the hovercraft being in District 4. That bridge is the Golden Gate Bridge in California, meaning that the arena was somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I'd say that, since they were close enough to see a crow (once again, another easter egg) that they were most likely near the Farallon Islands. They would be far enough from the mainland, yet close enough to the islands to see the bird.

Now, of course, the bird. Yes, the crow had significance. Crows, like ravens, are considered to be bad omens. One crow signifies death and a flock of crows is called a murder. One crow on the railing + the explosion + Lexi's tracker removal = Riven's death. Yeah... I thought I was so clever with that one, but I figured it out while I was half asleep and I doubt it came across as anything clever haha.

I had to do some extensive research on modern cruise ships for this story as my sole interest has, for the longest time, been on Titanic. The cruise ship I not only modeled the fictional one off of, but also named it after, is Norwegian Cruise Line’s Viva. I changed around some of the deck plans as there wasn’t much for me to work with image-wise, but some things like the Cornucopia and raceway are easy to see from the pictures online. There is a place on board called the Haven. It’s a set of luxury suites that I intended to use as a place for the victors to stay until the ship could reach port and there is a mention of it in part 8, but I never used it. The theatre, slides, casino, various restaurants, and atrium are all real locations on board, but sadly, there is no library. That is something I constructed all on my own.

(Part 8) Vivien’s first days in the arena were going to be spent on her own, looking for the others. This entire part was going to cover the first three days in the arena with Vivien hiding out, avoiding other tributes, gathering supplies, and eventually running into Lexi, who had ventured off on her own to find a bathroom. The two of them would have teamed up to fight off tributes from District 2 before cleaning up in the bathroom, bandaging each other, discussing their plans, and getting to know each other. In the end, Lexi would reunite Vivien with Royce as they had run into each other before and it was going to be a sort of bonding moment to really drive home their alliance/friendship before shit hit the fan.

(Part 9) As Vivien’s reunion with Riven would have been moved to this part, a lot more was going to be added to fill the gap. The reunion itself was going to be a lot longer and more intense, the pair finding each other while Riven was busy fighting of the guy from District 1. The thermal goggles would have had more purpose, the wheelhouse as a whole would have been used more, and I had an actual plan to use both of those tools to take out all of the cameras and electricity on the ship, forcing the Capitol to go searching for the ship which would have been floating aimlessly in the Pacific Ocean. With no rules and no cameras, what would the tributes do? Would they put down their weapons and let things go for the time being or would they simply kill each other off with no remorse while our little trio simply relaxes in the wheelhouse, watching the chaos unfold down below? Honestly, I wasn’t sure of it myself, but I still had to scrap the idea as I would have been dragging things way out and making everything more complicated for myself. The only quote I still have from this idea is a single sentence of Vivien’s thoughts on the wheelhouse, but it’s small, so here you go:

When Royce first showed me the keycard for the wheelhouse, I had been worried about the possibility of District 4 finding it before us since they, of all people, should know how to operate a ship, but with the only one old enough to work on a ship being dead and the other one being a whiny little bitch, I suppose the odds were in our favor after all. 

(Part 9) Before I settled on the wheelhouse exploding due to our trio helping Jade, Lexi, and Erica, it was going to be a sort of safe zone that they would have used a lot more, like I mentioned in the last bullet point. Sadly, once I scrapped most of what I’d written, I never saved it to another folder, so I was left with practically nothing but a short quote. This would have happened early the same morning the wheelhouse exploded in the actual story. Before waking the boys, Vivien would have warned the girls about the Careers coming to kill them and, once the boys were awake, this conversation would have ensued:

“Are you guys thinking of going out for supplies this morning?” I ask as Riven lets out a yawn and digs into his backpack for some food to cook.

“Maybe,” Royce shrugs. “Why, what’s up?”

“Well, if you are, you should probably steer clear of the theatre.”

“Why?” Riven asks.

“The Careers decided to hunt Jade, Erica, and Lexi down and I warned them earlier about it,” I reply with a shrug. “I’m betting that they’re probably playing an intense game of hide and seek right now.”

Royce chuckles, “If the girls know that theatre really well, they could probably kill all of them off in one day.”

“They seemed to think they had it under control,” I tell them. “With any luck, the Careers will be out of the picture sooner rather than later.”

(Part 10) When Riven goes off on his own and Royce and Vivien overhear his conversation, the original conversation and the confrontation they have afterward were going to be very different. I had multiple versions of them, actually. I changed the mystery person multiple times. At first, it was Mick, then it was Carrie, then it was Butchy and Kona, then Mack and Brady, and I went back and forth between trying to pick someone for ages. My first edition of the talk they overheard was going to make it very obvious who he was talking to, so I struggled on that scene for a long time. Then, when I settled on making it a bit of a mystery, I had to get through the aftermath. Initially, it was a big blowout that resulted in the trio going their separate ways for the rest of the day, being brought back together by muttations since the Capitol citizens liked them better together. Then, I wanted it to be a sort of thing Royce and Vivien kept to themselves. The conversation I have for it isn’t very far off of what I ended up using, but it sort of shows how Royce takes Vivien’s statement about Riven not putting them in danger and keeps his desire to interrogate Riven to himself.

Once he adjusts to being benched for the rest of the day, Riven asks, “Did you two finish that book of yours while I was gone?”

I have to laugh, “I doubt either of us could read that fast, Riv.”

“Besides, we got sidetracked,” Royce adds as he begins pulling out the food we can make for dinner. 

I try to send him a look telling him to shut up about what we heard, but it goes unnoticed as Riven asks, “Oh yeah? What happened?”

Royce turns, meeting my gaze for a brief moment before locking eyes with Riven and smirking, “Vivien was too worried about you being alone to focus on the book, so we stopped reading and I tried to talk her out of following you until you told us you were on your way back.”

Riven laughs as he reaches over the back of the couch to nudge my arm, “You were worried about me, huh?”

I force a chuckle out as I roll my eyes his way, “Yeah, like a hangnail I’m afraid to peel.”

Riven laughs and Royce smiles as he shakes his head, returning to the food at hand. I wonder why he didn’t say something. He looked as though he wanted to, yet he held his tongue… Why? Once Riven relaxes back into the couch cushions, I get to work helping Royce cook dinner. I catch his eyes and send him a confused look which he smiles at, whispering, “You told me to trust him, didn’t you?”

“I did,” I mutter, “but I thought-”

“That I was upset and willing to argue?” Royce offers as he places some meat on a plate. I give a hesitant nod and he shakes his head, chuckling, “I trust your judgement. Besides, he’s injured. It makes no sense to stress him out even more.”

I feel a smile tugging at my lips and, just when I’m about to thank him, the couch creaks and Riven pushes himself to sit up, turning to us with his signature grin, “What are you two whispering about?”

Royce takes over checking and flipping the meat while I stand with Riven’s plate of food and cross the space between the grill and Riven, holding his plate out for him to take as I smirk and reply, “Debating how hard it would be to shove you off the side of the ship.”

(Part 10) Instead of the scene with Volt and Elektra, there was going to be a scene where either, during the night, Royce falls asleep on watch duty and is taken as a hostage by Volt and Elektra so they can get something from Riven and Vivien in return or there would’ve been this scene with Serena where she takes something the trio need (medicine or something similar). She leaves them a note on the library door and they agree to meet with her. Vivien has an inkling that Serena will have someone nearby watching to make sure things go as planned, so she climbs onto the Cornucopia to get a better view and takes out the sniper Serena had on standby (probably the guy from District 4 as, when I wrote the idea down, he wasn’t killed off in the first day in the arena). on a rooftop and takes over, shooting someone the second they touch Royce. Royce leads the meeting as he’s the only one Serena listens to, but it’s clear Serena intends on killing Riven and Vivien when she gets the chance. The second Serena makes a grab for Royce, Vivien fires a crossbow bolt into her shoulder, giving Royce and Riven enough time to grab the supplies and run for cover.

(Part 10) Once I got around to figuring out the whole situation with Volt and Elektra, I got a bit carried away with it. The entire section with them was going to be a lot longer and more intense, but I had to cut it as, in the end, it made little sense. At this point, in my notes, they still would have had the thermal goggles and, with the laser tag place being a sort of maze, they would have played cat and mouse with the pair before eventually catching them when Vivien climbs to a higher vantage point and guides them on where to go. Instead of sparing them, there would have been a bit of a struggle before Elektra brought out a knife in her fight against Riven and Vivien would have shot her without hesitation. In return, either Royce or Riven would have taken out Volt and, upon their return to the library, they would have had to suffer through the knowledge that they killed two people. It would have been a lot heavier and the impact would have been pretty intense, especially on the Victory Tour, but I can’t see any of the three willingly killing them as they were already pretty weak and had little going for them. In the end, I took the pacifist route.

(Part 11) Part 11 is probably the one with the most changes to two certain parts and I’m sure you can guess which ones! I’ll start off easy by saying that I wasn’t entirely sure who would die in the end. At first, it was going to be Royce. Then, it was going to be a fake death like in the last story where Kona’s tracker drained. In that case, it would have been Vivien. Then, I’d played with the idea of Riven being the sole victor, but that didn’t work out, so I went with it being Vivien as she is the person telling the story, after all. Ultimately, I went with the decision I felt worked out the best, but I had a lot of things that changed as I went. These are a few of the options I went through

(Option 1) If both Vivien and Royce were to die and Riven were to come out as the victor, it would’ve happened in one of two ways. The first one is a Romeo-and-Juliet-style death. Vivien and Riven would’ve been knocked unconscious in the explosion and, when Royce sees his friend and girlfriend covered in blood, unresponsive, he takes matters into his own hands and kills himself beside them. When she awakens, Vivien sees the aftermath of Royce’s choice and follows him, leaving Riven on his own. Not wanting to let their deaths be in vain, Riven goes on a rampage, killing the others and coming out on top. The other possibility would have been a Titanic ending. The ship sinks and the three of them stick things out together until the end, but they underestimate the power Serena has in the ocean. She drowns Royce and Vivien in the frenzy as Riven swims toward them from where the pull of the sinking ship carried him. In the end, Riven kills Serena and is crowned as victor despite wanting to go out alongside his friends.

(Option 2) In the scenario where Royce dies, it would most likely have been during a reluctant fight between them and the theatre girls. Vivien is heartbroken and wants nothing more than to go out with him, but Riven still has the drive to help her make it out of the arena and back to her family, so they take out the other remaining tributes and try to find a way out together. The ending is similar to the original, with them being rescued after attempting to eat berries together. They go on to become the only siblings to simultaneously win a Hunger Games.

(Option 3) With Vivien as their “camera ghost”, the boys would work to find a way out of the arena, using her as a way to block out footage of them sneaking around. Eventually, they would find a way into the catacombs through the Cornucopia and escape using a submersible that brings them back to shore. Finding themselves on the outskirts of District 4, they work to find their way through the ruins of what had once been cities and towns, eventually making their way back home where everyone presumes they died in the arena.

(Part 11) Riven’s death/”death” was going to result in some far more gruesome scenes and I want to warn you about that before I go into detail. I want to go over how the entire thing almost went down as there are two versions I absolutely loved and was close to writing, but just know, this would be far gorier than what I wrote in the actual story. Also, the detail I used when I had written out for some of these in full made me have to stop in the process and take a break because it was just that intense for me.

(Version 1) After being separated by a fire that was set up by the Gamemakers, Vivien and Royce have to find their way through the ship’s interior to find Riven. Using the thermal goggles, Vivien would have guided them around the fire to a long hallway with multiple branches. Seeing faint traces of footprints on the carpets, they follow the path until it splits - one set of feet heading to the left and another set heading to the right. Deciding they need to find Riven regardless of whoever took the other path, Royce and Vivien split up, each armed with an axe and some other knives as Riven has the more impressive weaponry with him. Vivien trails off to the left path and watches as the traces of heat become more vivid with the goggles. Eventually, she stumbles upon a restaurant of sorts where she comes face to face with something out of her worst nightmare: Riven unconscious with Lexi above him, both of them covered in blood. Seeing nothing but red, Vivien’s grasp on her weapon tightens as she runs toward them swinging her axe into Lexi’s arm and tackling her to the floor before bringing her axe into Lexi’s skull, ending the battle right then and there as a pair of cannons blast. In a panic, Vivien scrambles over to Riven who, according to the Capitol, is dead. She brings him to her in a hug, not caring about the blood now soaking both of them in a shade of thick crimson, holding him close to listen to his heartbeat, but finding none as a relentless stream of tears flow from her. Royce enters the room, finding the aftermath of what went down and tries to coax Vivien away from Riven, to no avail. Vivien screams at Royce when he tries to pull her away after the Gamemakers tell them they need to vacate the area, telling him she won’t leave Riven and muttering things about promises they made. Eventually, after Vivien passes out from exhaustion because of the stress and overwhelming emotions, Royce moves Vivien out to the hallway before going back for their supplies, kneeling beside Riven and promising him that he will take care of Vivien in his stead before leaving to bring Vivien somewhere safe. In this version, he is actually dead.

(Version 2) This version takes place in the same strain as the previous one; they get separated in the same manner and have to find their way back to each other. Instead, who Vivien stumbles upon is Riven and Serena. Serena hears Vivien enter the restaurant just as a cannon, presumably Riven’s, goes off and, once Vivien chucks her axe at Serea, the two engage in a game of cat and mouse, both hiding and hunting the other. In the midst of the fight, Serena grabs a burning stick from the fireplace near the front of the restaurant and throws it at Vivien, who ducks out of the way, allowing it to catch the curtains of a nearby window on fire. The intricately designed, wooden interior of the restaurant begins to burn as fire spreads through it. Eventually, Vivien corners Serena, throwing a wine glass at her as a distraction before driving one of her knives into Serena’s shoulder from behind. The two struggle briefly, Serena pinning Vivien to the edge of a table before reaching over her shoulder with her good arm, grabbing Vivien by the shirt, and throwing her to the floor. Serena examines the damage to her shoulder as a winded Vivien catches Riven’s eye, the barely conscious man guiding her gaze toward the machete he had dropped earlier. Gathering her strength, Vivien crawls forward only a few feet before Serena lands a swift kick to Vivien’s side, sending her crumbling to the floor again. Serena taunts her, telling her that it’s alright to give up and that she can join her friend in the afterlife if she does. Instead of giving in, Vivien pushes herself to move again, making it another few feet before Serena kicks her again. This time, Serena crouches, taking Vivien’s hair in her grasp and lifting her head from the floor before taunting her some more, “Why don’t you try begging? I might just kill you quicker if you do.” When Vivien responds with a simple, hissed, “Fuck you,” Serena pulls Vivien by her hair onto her back before bringing her hands to the brunette’s throat. With the machete within reach, Vivien stretches under a nearby chair for it as Serena chokes her. Her fingers enclose on the thick hilt and Vivien uses what strength she has to swing the blade into the forearm of a shocked Serena. The roles flip as Vivien climbs on top of Serena, swinging Riven’s blade into Serena’s face until a pair of arms come around her waist and pull her off, leaving the blade still lodged in the redhead’s skull. Vivien tries to fight off the person who grabbed her, only to find it was Riven. He holds her for a while until Royce stumbles upon the room, coughing as the fire blankets the room in thick, black smoke. The boys escort Vivien away from the scene and comfort her as she relives the experience. Riven’s picture illuminates the sky that night and it’s then that the trio decide to try to think of ways to escape the arena with Riven as their cover from all of the cameras. As you can tell, this ending is similar to the “camera ghost” ending I mentioned before, but with Riven as the ghost instead of Vivien. There is another version of this exact scenario where Riven is, in fact, dead. In that version, Vivien sees the machete under a chair near his body and it’s Royce who pulls her off. However, I liked the “happy ending” of Riven being alive the way Kona was in Glory and Gore.

(Part 12) This part was originally going to be immensely long and, out of all the parts I had written, this one had the most deleted ideas, by far. I mean, I was going to cover the end of the Games, the crowning ceremony, and the train ride home as well as the months leading up to the Victory Tour, the tour itself, and the aftermath. It would’ve been well over 100 pages by the time I was done, especially if you take into account that the part ended up being 52 pages and the epilogue was 47. Obviously, I have no intention of writing out every scene I deleted, but I have a list of almost everything and where they would’ve gone, and you’re going to get that list in no particular order.

In the arena:

1 - After everyone else in the arena is dead, Royce and Vivien break into the Haven Suite, declaring themselves the victors despite the Capitol not allowing them both to be. During a sleepless night, Vivien leaves the safety of their room and heads for the front of the ship. A worried Royce wakes to find himself alone in their room and searches the back of the ship, screaming for her to not jump as he knows she’s been upset over Riven’s passing. Vivien hears him and runs to him, finding him hauling himself over the railings to jump in after her after seeing a muttation of her in the water, calling for him to join her. The real Vivien talks him down and tells him she was looking at the dolphins at the front of the boat. She walks him back to the front and he tells her he was worried she’d killed himself. Vivien smiles and tells him, “A few days ago, I would’ve. But now, I realize I have something to live for.” Royce watches her curiously before asking, “Oh, yeah? What would that be?” With a roll of her eyes, Vivien brings her arms around his shoulders and replies, “Some idiot who would willingly jump into the middle of the ocean to save me.”

2 - A scene that I almost wrote was the theatre fight between Jade, Erica, Lexi, and the Careers. I never really played out the whole thing as it would’ve been sort of awkward to write it from Vivien’s POV as she’s watching the cameras in the wheelhouse. Regardless, I knew that it was going to end with Jade killing off the other tribute from her district in order to save Erica’s life. In my head, when I was trying to write this out, it was always Jade killing Onyx, her fellow tribute from District 1.

3 - One of my absolute favorite deleted scenes was something I called “Paper Rings” (yes, it was named after the Taylor Swift song lol). This would have been laced through the other parts before coming to a head at the end. It would have started simply enough back around the time they admitted their feelings for each other on the roof with Royce taking a wrapper from a piece of candy on the rooftop and turning it into a ring for Vivien. Once they were together in the library, Vivien would have done the same with a piece of paper from a notepad, this time having written a short message on the outside for him to read. In return, he would take the wrapper from a straw in a restaurant and make her one after the wheelhouse fire. This would have been a sort of back-and-forth between the two of them before culminating in one of two endings. The first would have been a moment in the jewelry shop after everyone else is dead and they decide to give each other rings as a sign of their love being so deep they would rather live on the ship for the rest of their lives than kill each other. The second ending would have been a near-copy of Katniss and Peeta where they both bring out rings in the interview after the Victory Tour - showing that they both wanted to propose to each other. In the end, I decided against it as I felt like it would copy the original source material too closely and I wanted things to feel more realistic in that moment.

4 - At one point, I was teetering on the edge of Riven being fully dead and, around that time, I had the idea of there being a muttation of him that would be connected with Vivien’s tracker, making it so that she is the only person capable of seeing him. This, of course, would have had an immense impact on her and Royce would have had to deal with her simply wandering off, chasing after someone who simply isn’t there. Depending on a variety of variables, this ghost of Riven could have easily convinced her to harm others or herself as she slips further and further into insanity. I was fully prepared to go deep into this psychological torture timeline, but figured it would be too much for me to handle emotionally as it would have dealt with a lot of emotional and mental manipulation, especially seeing as we’re seeing everything from her perspective. I think it would’ve been a bit much.

In the Capitol:

1 - After their time in the arena, I would have prolonged the time Royce and Vivien spent in the Capitol, allowing Carrie and Juliet to take them on little excursions through the city before returning to the Training Center. I know this isn’t accurate to the books, but I was so ready to write out full trips to the apartment Carrie and Juliet share, glittering shopping areas, and fancy restaurants with food so expensive that Royce and Vivien have no clue what to do with. Honestly, I just really wanted to make them feel out of place and a bit more reliant on their stylists who make sure to help them feel at home in their home city.

2 - One of the things I wanted to work with the most in this extended stay in the Capitol was a long scene where Royce and Vivien find out that, to save them from the hordes of crazy Capitol residents trying to buy the chance for a night with either (or both) of them, Carrie and Juliet bought them from the president. This would have been during a visit to the girls’ apartment where they decide to sit the teens down and have an honest conversation, approaching the topic with gentle, yet direct honesty. I think it would have been a moment of realization for them that the victors that had won under the previous president’s reign, had been forced into prostitution or something similar and that they had been saved from a somewhat similar fate by their stylists. This is where I could see Royce and Carrie’s relationship really blossoming as he realizes just how much she must care for not only him, but also Vivien. I feel like that would mean the world to him and allow him to see more of the Carrie that he tries so hard to push away. It also gives a bit of insight into the reason why everyone is so protective of the two of them after they leave the arena. Now, I think this goes without saying, but I highly doubt Juliet’s dad would have kept up the whole prostitution thing that President Snow had. It makes even less sense when you take into account that he seems to treat the victors like the children they are. This is the biggest reason as to why I scrapped it.

3 - In multiple different places, I was planning on making a little nod to Vivien’s culture by utilizing her braids. Now, in Native American culture, braids are important. Across almost all tribes, there is a statement that the three strands represent the mind, body, and soul of the person. In some tribes, people only cut their hair for certain reasons - marriage being one of them. There was going to be a place in the arena where Vivien explains this as a tradition to Royce and they decide to cut a piece of their hair off and tie them together into a knot to signify their love. In another part, Vivien was going to have a thick, six-stranded braid with specific colors woven into each strand to signify someone she loves - her parents, siblings, Mick, Riven, her co-workers, and Royce.

4 - The only other thing I have for this area is a deleted conversation that would have taken place after the meeting with the president, presumably in the car or on the train when they were alone. Keep in mind that, in this segment, I thought Royce was going to be injured for some reason - a broken arm at the most.

“That was so fucking bizarre,” I mutter.

“Which part?” Royce scoffs. “Watching ourselves on television, being smothered to death by sponsors and other rich people, or having a private meeting with the president?”

“All of the above,” I sigh, leaning my head on his shoulder. “I just want to go home, work myself to exhaustion, and act like none of this happened.”

“None of it?”

Lifting my head, I meet Royce’s caramel eyes and shake my head, “Alright, maybe not all of it. Just… most of it.”

Royce’s uninjured arm pulls me close around me as he softly asks, “Still nothing on Riven?”

I shake my head against his shoulder and sigh, “As I said, it’ll be like when Mick died. I’ll go home, work myself to exhaustion, and try to act like everything is normal. The only difference is, Riven won’t be there to carry me home this time.”

Silence clings to the air for a moment before Royce chuckles and I ask him what was funny. “I was going to offer to do it in his stead, but I don’t think that would work out so well.”

I lean back in the embrace with a snort, “Yeah, let’s not try it.”

In the districts:

1 - I had a few plans for this that were scrapped as I realized that I wanted to emphasize the fact that Royce and Vivien hadn’t spent any time together since the end of the Games. Most of these little ideas were simple and would’ve been quick snippets Vivien mentions experiencing as time goes by - figure skating in late December, meeting Miles and Bentley, visiting District 6, the Murphy brothers spending a week in District 3 for Vivien’s birthday, them experiencing a wedding for one of Vivien’s work friends (spawning the idea of them sitting and talking about getting married and discussing their traditions), and, finally, the funerals for Riven and Lotus.

Deleted Quotes (all parts, not in order)

(the president at some point in the epilogue) “They say it’s the things we love most that destroy us. However, I like to think of it in a different way. If you are lucky enough to find someone or something to love more than anything, make sure you treasure them.”

(in training, at some point) “Aren’t you like some damsel in distress?” “I’m a damsel. I’m in distress. I can handle this. Have a nice day.”

(Vivien overhears Royce say this to Erica and Jade while she’s recovering in bed after she killed either Lexi or Serena) “She’s not dangerous, she’s traumatized!”

(a deleted scene where the ship is sinking) “If you try to pull me down, I’ll make sure you go with me.”

(Vivien reluctantly admitting her feelings for Royce after trying so hard to fight them) “You make me feel… you make me feel,” she whispered fiercely into the wind, the cool air carrying her words to Royce’s ears, “and I don’t like it. I want it to stop… But, at the same time, I only want more.”

(Serena to the other Careers) “I don’t need people to help me get ahead in life. In already leagues ahead of all of you.”

(in the theatre battle) “Now, which of you wants to die first?”

(I can’t remember where this came from or where it was going, but it’s here) “We’re all the villains in someone’s story. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the villain in mine.”

(during a deleted argument between Riven and Vivien) “Your moral compass is so fucked up that I’ll be surprised if you can find your way back to the library.”

(Vivien, after Riven dies) “My good side died with him, Royce. How do you expect me to bring her back?”

(not sure where this was or who said it, but it was a quote from Markiplier that I heard on TikTok and wanted to incorporate at some point) “What if I didn’t run? What if I’m not a coward? What if I want them to kill me? What if I want them to try?”

(this conversation would have been at the beginning of part 12 and would have been while Vivien was in the medical center) 

“She slit his wrists and was choking him when I found them. If I hadn’t grabbed Riven’s machete, I would’ve been next,” Vivien admits. Royce's grip tightens on her hand and she sends him a small grin. Turning toward Erica and Jade, Vivien breathes, “You didn’t see the look in her eyes.”

Erica shakes her head, “From the very beginning, I didn’t trust Lexi. There was just something about her that set off all the alarms in my head. Looking back on it now, I wonder if she had a list of people she wanted dead.”

Jade takes Erica’s hand and they meet gazes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You trusted her,” Erica sighs. “To be fair, I was still wary of you both until we fought off the Careers, but you trusted us both so I thought I’d get over it as more time went on. I guess I should’ve trusted my instincts.”

(finally, this conversation is in part 12, but this is the original version)

“The way I see it, we’ve got two options.” 

“We do?” 

Royce nods, “Option one, we take the easy way out. It’s quick and painless.” He holds out the berries and sighs, “I’m not a big fan of option one.” 

“Me neither,” Vivien breathes. “Option two?” 

“We fight.” 

“Fight for what?” 

Royce smiles as stares out at the vast ocean surrounding them, “There are a million ways we could’ve died before today and a million ways we could die before tomorrow… but I say we fight. We fight for every second that we get to spend with each other. Whether it’s two minutes or two days… we don’t give that up. I don’t want to give that up. My vote? Let’s just wait it out. You know, we can be all poetic and just live out our lives together on this ship.”

Hesitantly, Vivien mutters, “What’s option three? What’s the option to get us both out of here so we can live in the districts together and grow old together?”

Turning to meet Vivien’s eyes, Royce takes her hand and softly says, “I’m sorry.”

Opening Quotes

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

“Romeo was full of shit and Juliet fell for it, but I am not an idiot.”

“I can make it quick or I can make it so much worse.”

“They should be terrified of you.”

“History repeats itself on an endless loop of meaningless deaths and destruction.”

“If, for some reason, I got a second chance at that moment, I would do it all over again.”

“If I ever were to lose you, I’d surely lose myself.”

“I was supposed to either die with him or survive with him. She didn’t deserve to make that choice for me.”

“Once upon a time, I had somebody that I cared about and, in this world, that sort of shit's good for one thing: getting you killed.”

“Haven’t I given enough?”

“Don’t blame me for what you made me do.”

“A woman’s heart is a deep ocean full of secrets.”

“Don't you do that, don't say your goodbyes. Not yet, do you understand me?”

"I would take a bullet for you just to show my love, only to find out you are the one holding the gun."

“Can you be in denial of your own death?” (You’ll see where this one would’ve been in a minute 😜)

(Epilogue) Perhaps this is the part that changed the most overall and I’m sure you can understand why. So many things changed over the course of the month it took me to write the epilogue. I mean, I went from writing out everything from another person’s perspective to changing my mind after 13 pages - probably the biggest change I’ve ever made to something like this. I had most of the original plot written out on paper and I kept the original 13 pages. Although I know that this is already the longest deleted scene post I've made this far, I figured I would use this spot to let you read through the 13 pages of the original epilogue as well as 2 scenes I felt needed to be written out to make everything fall together nicely. 

Working in District 3 labs, you don’t experience many dangers. The occasional fire, tech malfunction, and, sure, you may have to dodge a stray keyboard or two that has been thrown in a rage by one of your coworkers, but most of that is fairly harmless. The only real threat to a person’s life is when the Hunger Games rolls around with its annual bullshit and that only happens until the Capitol decides you’re too old to be killed off. My last year of reaping was supposed to be easy. I live by myself and work almost every day so I have no need for tessera and have fewer entries and less of a chance of being sent into the arena. Then, the night before the reaping, I get a knock on my door from none other than my lab’s boss, Brady Birch.

He sits with me on the porch for quite some time, telling me about how he and his wife have been worried that the Capitol will take their daughter’s escape from the arena out on someone he knows I care deeply for: Vivien O’Brian. Though they aren’t related by blood, Vivien is like a daughter to Brady and his wife, Mack, and is like a sister to their daughter, Makana. I understand their frustration better than most as I had taken Vivien in like she was my family the day I met her. She walked into our lab as this pipsqueak of a child, scared of the big bad teenagers who towered over her at the time, but that soon dissipated and was replaced with the girl I now call Pip; the headstrong, sarcastic fifteen-year-old who matches my colorful remarks with ones of her own, jab for jab. She handles anything thrown her way with logical ease and grace, though we all seem to have our doubts that she would handle the Hunger Games well. 

Near the end of our conversation, Brady asks if I can think of anyone who would be willing to take the place of whoever is reaped so that Vivien wouldn’t have to compete and, while my answer is affirmative, I doubt he realizes my meaning. He asks that I talk with whoever it is and see if they would be willing, and I say that I will, but once he leaves, I simply stay home, making myself something to eat and waiting out the night. When the reaping comes and Vivien is reaped, nobody volunteers. I find Brady’s eyes in the crowd once the female tribute can no longer be replaced and the look of betrayal in them is strong, but it doesn’t last long. 

Vivien’s younger brother - a kid named Oliver that had come to our lab more than once to bring Vivien the lunch she had forgotten - is reaped as the male tribute and, as I push him toward the stage, I tell him, “Just breathe, kid. I’ll take your place when I can.” He seems a hair less tense, almost as though he doesn’t fully believe my words, but takes to the stage all the same. As promised, I volunteer in his place and watch as a vivid array of emotions flash across Vivien’s face. We listen to the mayor drone on about things nobody cares about anymore before we’re ushered away and split up. I have no biological family to visit me, but my friends from work come by and it feels just like family. Vivien’s family is the next group to stop by and Oliver thanks me repeatedly for filling his spot. Though I know they’ll all be hoping for Vivien’s victory, I make sure to show them that I’m grateful for their visit before they’re pulled away by Peacekeepers.

Once visitation is over, we’re brought to the train station and I make sure to make Vivien laugh for the cameras that await our arrival. Once we’re allowed to explore the train, I spend a while in my room by myself, sorting through the thoughts that have filled my head for the last, well, I don’t even know how long. Death is inevitable for everyone on the planet, however, it also happens to be the one thing I fear most. I suppose it is for Vivien, though. As long as she wins the Hunger Games, I don’t care if I end up dead by the end of it. Of course, I doubt she will want to hear that, but the truth still stands all the same.

It isn’t long before Mack and Brady come to visit me, telling me that they’ll work with the mentors from District 6 to figure out a way to get us out of the arena like they did last year for Mick and her friend. I tell them that I’ll do whatever they need me to for us to get out, but that if their plan fails, I’d be willing to sacrifice myself to help Vivien. They tell me that it wouldn’t be necessary, but I can tell that they both will take it into consideration.

They lead me out to the dining compartment and Vivien joins us after a while. The meal passes quickly and we sit to watch the other reapings. I find the other tributes disappointing, but I make note of what few attributes each of them displays. Most of my time is spent gauging Vivien’s reactions and I can’t help but smirk as she takes a particular interest in the boy from District 6. I’m not exactly surprised when she suggests teaming up with him and shrug off her offer by saying the choice is up to her. After all, I’ve sworn to protect her already, who she chooses to befriend has little to do with me. Vivien, on the other hand, seems perturbed by my nonchalance and corners me in the hallway between our rooms, questioning my behavior. I make the effort to appear as relaxed as possible, even going so far as to flick her concerns away by stating that my actions are just what family does for each other.

I hardly get any sleep that night as I spend most of my time worrying about my surrogate sister in the next room, but the morning comes faster than I anticipated and I find that I wasn’t the only one to suffer through a sleepless night on the train. Vivien’s actions are robotic and she appears to be in a daze as she eats breakfast, only picking up her fork when I lightly kick her shin to remind her. Once Mack decides to end Vivien’s mindless eating, I take her by the hand and bring her with me to the room we watched the other reapings in, bringing an arm around her to show her that I’m there for her if she needs me. I start off the conversation easily, telling her that I know we’re both worried about the Games, but that I’m determined to make sure we both stay alive for as long as possible.

“If it comes down to the two of us as the last tributes standing,” I begin, “I’ll find a way to die so that you won’t kill me.”

For the first time since I began speaking, Vivien’s grip on my hand tightens and she mutters, “If it comes to the two of us, The Capitol will just have to take both of us as the victors, Riv. I’m not going to let you go that easily.”

I try to smile at her comment, but we both must know that the Hunger Games ending with two victors has never happened before and that, after last year, the Gamemakers will make that practically impossible. I’m incapable of telling her anything more as our escort and mentors enter the room, filling us in on all that will happen once we arrive in the Capitol. Vivien clings to my hand until we’re separated in the Remake Center and brought to different rooms. The prep team that I don’t bother paying much attention to, works on me for a few hours, scrubbing me clean of anything they would deem ‘imperfect’ before ditching me so that I have time with my stylist, a rainbow-haired person named Topaz. 

By the time I leave my room, Vivien is standing with the boy from District 6, a smile on her face as the boy tells her something. I watch fondly for a while before being ushered toward the elevator, but I make sure to tease Vivien about her little encounter at the first chance I get. Once we arrive at the giant stables where they keep all of the horses for the parade, I try to keep Vivien distracted with the horses while I scope out the competition, but the results of my efforts seem to be the reverse of my intentions. The girl from District 1 keeps an eye on the two of us while the other Careers chatter about some nonsense nearby and I catch her nod our way before returning her attention to the animal before her. Typically, Careers don’t care much for the people outside of their circle, but this one just might have potential. Time will tell, I suppose.

Thankfully, Vivien finds the large animals just as enthralling as I do and takes to petting them with me, teasing me about the horses in return for my remark in the elevator. However, my response seems to trigger something in her as I say, “I’ve never seen one so well-trained. The ones I’ve seen back home are wild and don’t normally go up to people, but these are so relaxed and well-behaved.”

Out of the corner of my eyes, I watch Vivien’s emerald eyes dim as she glances between me and the horse, pain flooding her eyes as her eyebrows scrunch together. She takes in a deep breath and fights her emotions down before feeding one of the horses an apple, forcing a smile, and saying, “When we get home, we’ll get you a proper horse.” 

I turn to her and, despite her no longer looking my way, I can tell there are a million thoughts and emotions tugging at her. She doesn’t need me to tell her that only one of us will be making it home. She doesn’t need me to tell her to be realistic and focus on what could possibly happen. She needs me to be there for her, even if that means allowing her to live in her fantasy world for at least a moment. So, with a sigh, I bring an arm around Vivien’s shoulders and pull her to me, resting my head on hers before telling her, “We’ll get two horses.” I can almost feel the confusion radiating from her as she slowly allows her head to rest against my chest. “One for you and one for me. They’ll have plenty of space to run around in Victor’s Village.”

The smile she gives me lets me know that I made the right choice and I press a kiss to her forehead before squeezing her to my side once more and letting her go. The boy from 6 makes an appearance once again and the three of us converse until it’s time to get into the chariots. A smirk appears on my face as I bring out the teasing older brother act, making sure there is a smile on Vivien’s face before our chariots begin to move into the city. Our stylists turn on our glowing outfits and I have to laugh as Vivien’s hair lights up like one of the computers back home, a luminous rainbow of colors that fits her personality all too well. Vivien catches a glimpse of herself in the reflective plastic I’ve been made to wear just as the chariot begins to move and I’m quick to latch onto her so that she doesn’t fall as we’re brought throughout the city.

I try not to let my true feelings about the Games show as we’re shown off to all of the Capitol’s wealthiest sponsors, the urge to scream to the rooftops about everything is covered behind a smile as I raise the hand I’ve latched with Vivien into the air. Before I know it, we’re being brought into the Training Center and the horses come to a stop. The adrenaline in my veins wears off quickly as the glowing brunette beside me collides with the floor of the chariot. Vivien rattles off some quick excuse that, for her sake, I allow as I help her to her feet, bringing an arm around her to keep her steady as we board the elevator and ride up to our floor. She leans against me in a hug as we rise high above the Capitol and, once we arrive on our floor, I bring my arms around her, lift her off of the ground, and chant our district number in the hopes that it will relieve some of the tension she’s under.

Once we’re changed out of our parade costumes and free of the Capitol’s signature glitter and glamour, I meet up with Vivien in the hallway between our rooms and we head to the dining room together. Our brainless escort comes in before the meal is served, shrieking about losing the tributes before realizing that we’re sitting at the table with our mentors, waiting for the food to arrive. After the meal is done, we’re made to watch the parade and a sense of pride floods my veins as the commentators and spectators alike shower us in praises we don’t deserve. The recap ends and I invite Vivien to the rooftop before ducking into my room to change into something warmer. Before I can make my way to the door, our escort tells me that I should get some sleep before training and I tell her I need some fresh air, which she accepts and soon disappears into her room. I make my way to the rooftop only to find Vivien and the boy from District 6 throwing something at the forcefield around the building and catching it in their mouths while laughing and talking about things I can’t hear over the wind. 

With a smile, I disappear back inside the building and bump into a small blonde girl who eyes me curiously. We stand on the landing, watching each other in silence almost as though we’re investigating the other person. Then, with a direct, matter-of-fact tone, the girl says, “You’re the big guy from Three, right? Riven?”

I’ve seen this child before and I know that I have, but it’s hard to picture where. Of all of the people I saw in the other reapings and the parade, I know she isn’t a tribute and she’s certainly too comfortably dressed to be a Capitol escort, narrowing down the options to one. She must be a mentor of some sort. “I am,” I reply. 

She looks me up and down before holding a hand out for me to shake and saying, “I’m Kona, District Six. My tribute likes your friend.”

This must be the mentor girl who won last year. “Are you talking about Vivien?” I ask, latching onto her hand and shaking it before letting it drop.

Kona nods, rolling her eyes, “That’s all Royce has talked about since we watched the reapings on the train.”

A chuckle escapes me before I can even think of stopping it, “I could say the same about Viv.”

Mischief gleams in the girl’s pale eyes as she smirks, “Does she know he likes her?”

“Does he know that she likes him?” I offer in response.

Kona’s smile spreads as she asks, “Are they on the roof?”

I give her a nod and watch her pass me on her way up the next flight of stairs before calling out to her, “Do you always meddle in people’s personal lives?”

Kona peers over the metal bar with a smile and proudly claims, “I only meddle when I’m right and, so far, I’ve always been right.”

With a shrug and a shake of my head, I sigh, “Well, good luck, then.”

“Thanks!” she chirps before bounding her way up to the rooftop.

It’s a while before I hear Vivien arriving back in our apartment, but she doesn’t question my lack of appearance until the next morning before training. Until training begins, I stand near Royce and Vivien, sending glares at anyone who so much as glances their way. Royce asks me if I’d be willing to form an alliance with him, which I do, and Vivien sends me a glare when I bring up how much she spoke about Royce that morning before I allow them to go off and do as they please. Our first day of training is spent separated and, while I do keep an eye on the younger pair, I mostly keep to myself. My alone time is interrupted by the girls from Districts 1 and 7, who I later find out are named Jade and Lexi. Jade’s emerald hair glitters in the fluorescent lights above us while the other girl’s curls have been pulled back into a makeshift bun.

They aren’t speaking directly to me, but I’m close enough to hear their conversation as the curly-haired one claims that she would be dead soon anyway. When the green-haired girl asks her what she means, Lexi replies with, “You can’t tell anyone, but I have this medical issue that I can’t afford the treatment for. I’ll be dead within a year, if that. Winning the Hunger Games isn’t going to do me much good.”

Jade takes a breath and says, “Well, why don’t you join us, then? We can get you far in the Games so that it doesn’t hurt your friends or family back home and you can still go out when you feel the time is right.”

Lexi takes in a slow, deep breath and sighs, “Can I at least have until lunch to think on it?”

“Of course, take all the time you need,” Jade says. “You’ll know where to find me.” 

As Jade scurries off and leaves Lexi alone to throw axes at training dummies, I leave the area to get a better view of Vivien and Royce at a different station. Lunch comes and I find that the curly-haired Lexi has joined Jade and a blue-haired girl at their lunch table. If the three of them have formed a group outside of the Careers as I have with Vivien and Royce, that could make them more dangerous. Especially if you take into consideration that one of them is ready to die anyway. Still, when they approach us on the roof that night, I can’t help but feel overprotective of my little group, pulling them away from the girls until we get the chance to think over their proposition of another alliance.

Once we return to our apartment for the night, I speak with our mentors about the situation and they talk me through how they see things working out. In the end, they advise me that an alliance with them could be beneficial, but to be wary of them just in case something happens between the girls and their rage turns on us. The conversation switches on a dime as Vivien joins us and, once she retires for the night, they bring up the idea of getting us out of the arena safely, telling me what they did the year before to help their daughter and her friend from District 6 out. They give me the idea of finding a way to drain our trackers, giving the Capitol the impression that we had died, but tell me that, if that doesn’t work, cutting out our trackers might be the only option we have of making it out as a trio. By the end of the conversation, I’m fighting to keep my hands from shaking and they tell me that it’s only a suggestion if it comes down to the three of us, but that it most likely won’t be necessary. After talking me down from my mild panic, they shoo me off to bed and tell me to try to get as much rest as possible. The next morning, Vivien asks them about the girls and what to do about them and they tell her something similar to what they had told me, which we relay to Royce once we arrive in the training rooms. Once the girls arrive, we tell them that we accept their offer and they seem genuinely pleased with the idea.

The three of us train together at first before splitting off to impress the Gamemakers, but I use my free time to get to know our new allies. The first person on my list is the one who has already admitted defeat - Lexi. Our conversation is short, but I glean a lot from it. When I press her about the disease she claims to have, she admits it and claims that she wants to go down on her own terms. I tell her that, if I can think of a way to help her in the arena, I will, and she thanks me for it, but dismisses me fairly quickly before walking off. Erica is next and, while she is very energetic and loud about her interest in the weapons available to us, she mostly talks of her interest in Jade, the girl from District 1. Her eyes are glued to the green-haired girl and she takes little interest in my conversation, but comments that she’s glad to be on our side all the same. Jade is every bit the ringleader of the group; direct, calm, and organized. She’s thorough in everything she does and never misses a single target when I join her at the archery station. Whilst even I will admit she is deadly, she has a calm, collected manner about her that gives me the impression she couldn’t be bothered to care much about the Hunger Games at all.

That night, we join District 6 on the rooftop for a while and I spend some of my time talking with Vivien, reassuring her that, regardless of what she does in her private session with the Gamemakers, she’ll be fine. Eventually, the girl I met on the stairs tells me that Mack wants to see me, and I leave Vivien in her care as I make my way over to where my mentors and Vivien’s stylist are standing. Before I can say a word, the blonde girl holds out a hand and introduces herself as Juliet, Vivien’s stylist and the president’s daughter. The three of them bring me away from the others enough that they wouldn’t be able to hear our conversation before Brady hands us each a small container. Inside is a simple, black watch with two dials - one red and one blue - on one side and a small, almost unnoticeable hole on the other.

“A watch?” I wonder aloud.

“Why a watch?” Juliet asks.

Mack smiles, “We’ve talked about ways to help these three get out of the arena, right?”

Juliet nods and I have to wonder why the president’s daughter would be willing to help a few tributes escape. She sighs, “If getting them out of the arena will help push my dad to stop the Hunger Games altogether, I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

As though he’s answering my unasked question, Brady explains, “Last year, Juliet’s tribute and boyfriend, Xander, was killed in the arena, furthering her interest in ending the Games.”

Juliet gives a sharp nod and says, “When I reached out to Carrie, she suggested I take District Three this year so that our districts could work together to end this nonsense.”

“So these will help us get out of the arena?” I ask, holding up my watch. My mentors nod. “How?”

They explain how the watch works as a communication device. The red and blue dials work as a transmitter and receiver respectively, allowing us to talk with each other while I’m in the arena. Juliet’s watch fits more with her Capitol style, a simple, silver and crimson watch so small I wonder if she can even read the time on it, but it suits her all the same. As long as Juliet can give me updates from the outside and I can send her messages asking for specific things in the arena, it doesn’t matter. Mack explains that she and Brady won’t be able to use them as there will be a lot of eyes on them, but since Juliet is a stylist, she won’t have to worry as much. We test them out briefly when Juliet brings Mack to the edge of the roof to show her the mansion she grew up in and Brady seems to puff up proudly as we prove that his invention works. Once they return, Brady explains that they work like a walkie-talkie, only allowing us to hear each other when we press the blue dial. Mack explains that, while I’m in the arena, it might be a good idea to share the watch with Vivien or Royce during their turns to keep watch if I want to avoid suspicion and I have to agree. When Juliet questions why we shouldn’t tell the kids about the watch being a communication device, Brady explains that, when we escape the arena, we will most likely be taken out by a hovercraft and brought back to the Capitol, meaning that we would be questioned by the people in charge and they need our reactions to be as genuine as possible.

I spend most of the rest of my evening speaking with Juliet, trying to come up with a plan for the Games. She explains that she has the ability to come and go from the president’s mansion as she pleases, collecting information from right under their noses. I have to give Juliet credit, she’s smarter than she looks. She explains that, if I can get the three of us through the bloodbath and close to the top ten, making it out of the arena will be easy, but that, if we make it too close to the end, things will only be more complicated. If we’re close to the end, the cameras will be on us all hours of the day, making it nearly impossible for us to find a way to drain our trackers or cut them out without someone else there to take the fall and cut them out for us. An idea forms as I lie in bed that night and I wonder if I could entrust one of the other tributes to do the deed if it comes down to it. There’s only one person I could think of who would be willing to put their life on the line for us, but I would have to wait until training to ask.

In the morning, I make my way toward the dining room only to find that Vivien is nowhere to be found. Assuming she must still be in her room, I find myself at her door, knocking before simply entering and sitting by her side as she stares up at the ceiling. Her face lacks its normal color and her irises are rimmed with red, making me wonder if she had been crying. Taking a deep breath, her gaze turns to me and she softly claims, “It’s a cruise ship.”

My eyebrow raises and I have to ask, “What is?”

“The arena,” she whispers, swallowing thickly before adding, “It’s going to be a cruise ship.”

When I ask her how she knows, her answer is simple - her stylist. It makes sense that her stylist would know given she is the president’s daughter, but I can’t see how that would make Vivien upset. Maybe the anxiety of the day kept her awake. She is the type to overthink everything while I try to keep things simple. I could understand her fears winning over. Trying to keep her in a good state of mind, I nod and offer, “I guess it’s a good thing we swim in the lake back home.”

Vivien hums and I try to suggest breakfast, but she declines as the impending dread of our private sessions and the Hunger Games themselves loom over our heads. Eventually, I manage to coax her into eating something before training and, while her plate of scrambled eggs and toast isn’t much compared to her usual platefuls of everything on the table, I’m at least grateful she has something in her system. Her trembling hand finds a home in mine until we begin the morning training session and she glues herself to Royce while I work on conversing with my target for the morning - Lexi Warren. I manage to corner her by the axe-throwing station and, for once, she doesn’t seem bothered by my presence.

“So, let me get this straight,” she begins quietly, readying another axe to be thrown, “You want me to help you, Vivien, and that other boy out of the arena if we make it close to the end of the Games?” I nod and she scoffs a laugh, shaking her head as she reels back her arm, “What makes you think I’d do such a thing?”

“I see the way you look at her.” For the first time since I stepped up to the station, Lexi’s weapon lodges in the wall beside her target, missing its intended mark as she freezes. Opposingly, my axe wedges deep into the center of the target as I choose to continue, “You watch her during lunch, you never stray too far from whatever station she’s at, and for some reason, you managed to convince the other girls to trust us, trust her. Whether you notice it or not, you want Vivien alive as much as I do, but for a completely different reason.”

Lexi’s eyes flit between our targets as the information settles in before taking in a sharp breath and calmly asking, “And if I choose to only save her in that scenario?”

A smirk settles on my face, but I force it away as I state, “She would never forgive you. I helped her through the loss of her sister last year and assumed the role of her older brother during that time. On top of that, I know I’m not the only one who can see how she looks at Royce. If you were to cut out her tracker and become the victor, leaving the two of us to die in the arena, she would be out for your blood.”

Lexi’s gaze turns to me and I feel her examine my expression before slowly turning her gaze to where Royce and Vivien have begun shooting arrows at targets. I follow her gaze and watch as Vivien adjusts Royce’s hold on his weapon before allowing him to shoot and, as the arrow drives deep into the bull’s eye, we watch as she excitedly bounces, cheering Royce on as he beams at her. From the corner of my eye, I watch as Lexi’s shoulders sink and a reluctant grin crosses her features. “Just cut out the trackers and wait for the cannons?”

I give a sharp nod, “That’s it.”

With a hum, Lexi nods, “Alright. Just tell me when.”

She doesn’t give me the chance to respond as she moves away from her favorite station and joins Erica at the ropes course. Lexi’s quick agreement gives me pause, but I try to accept it as an honest statement for the time being. Almost hesitantly, I cross the room and spend the rest of my morning following Vivien and Royce around to different stations, helping them when they ask for it, and learning which skills they particularly excel at before lunch is called and we’re told where to sit. Vivien’s grip on my hand is unrelenting, though I don’t voice my discomfort as she scans the room, sparing glimpses of Royce when she finds the chance. More than once, I find Lexi’s eyes on Vivien and she meets my gaze, giving me a small, barely noticeable nod before turning away. All too soon, I’m summoned from the room and I have to give Vivien a smile of reassurance before she allows me to take my hand back from her grasp.

Mack and Brady instructed me to think like a Career for my private sessions so that I'll be scored high enough to gain some favor, but I doubt my performance is what they had in mind. As soon as I’m allowed to, I throw weights around, slice open training dummies, and show off the skills I’ve worked on the hardest over the last few days to get the Gamemakers’ attention. Then, once I have it, I make a statement that’s all my own. A statement of revenge that they’ll have to work hard to cover. The camouflage station is my last stop and I take what bloody, berry juice they’ve left out to write my message on the concrete floor, claiming my performance in the arena will be for Mick and Miles, mine and Vivien’s friend and Royce’s brother. The Gamemakers must know that my friendship with Royce is strong enough for me to include the name of someone who isn’t from my district and they practically rush me out of the room, hastily thanking me for my time before ordering some Avoxes to clean the mess I’ve made. It isn’t until Vivien comes back upstairs that I find out they simply covered my mess with a sparring mat.

Vivien regales us with her tale of impaling the Gamemakers’ wine bottle, which seems to surprise our mentors, but they explain that the only thing the Gamemakers can do to her now is make her time in the arena more difficult. I don’t doubt that they’ll try to make things harder for Vivien, but with me - and presumably Royce - by her side, it would be immensely difficult for them to target her on her own. After a while, we’re told to wash up before dinner and I change into something more comfortable before returning to the living room to talk with my mentors. When I bring up the topic of getting Lexi to cut the trackers out if we need her to, they seem hesitant, but come to accept that as an option if we require it. By the time the stylists arrive, it’s nearly time for our scores to be revealed, so Juliet saunters off down the hall to fetch Vivien while Mack and Brady tell me to entrust my watch to my stylist, Topaz. My hesitance to do so is met with a short explanation that Topaz was Mick’s stylist in her Games and was someone I could trust to keep care of the watch until we were in the catacombs. Eventually, I pull the watch from my hoodie and pass it over before Vivien comes out and the food is served.

Once the food is done, we gather on the couch in the living area and wait for our scores to be announced. Each of the tributes receives a long-winded spiel about them before their scores are announced and, for the first time in a long time, three of the first four Careers end up with meager scores compared to normal years. By the time my spot on the screen arrives, my leg is bouncing and the rising panic I’d been trying so desperately to shove aside makes itself present. Vivien takes my hand in hers and, as my score is revealed, she brings me into a tight squeeze that eases the tension from me. Her score of nine is just one point below mine and, although we’re all very excited about it, I notice Vivien taking a moment away from the excitement to watch Royce’s identical score flash across the screen. 

We bring the party up to the roof after everything is over and District 6 joins us after a while. Royce and Vivien are soon by each other’s side and I join them in case Vivien needs a quick escape from her own, babbled words. As the stylists join our little trio, I notice every glance Vivien and Royce take, watching the other with soft smiles the other will never know existed. Celebratory drinks are handed out and, once I start a roof-wide chant of our district numbers, I make my way behind the two lovebirds and make them hold hands before raising them into the air. The rest of the time we spend on the roof, Vivien is latched to Royce’s side and vice versa, but there’s a shimmer of something in her eyes when Royce has to leave that makes me wonder if she’s come to terms with her feelings for him. On the way back to our floor, I tease her about the situation so that nobody can hear and take joy in watching her face burn a shade of tomato. I duck off to my room to evade Vivien’s ire and wait until morning to ask her about how things went with Royce.

In the morning, I find Vivien still fast asleep and ask her how she slept once I’ve woken her. My intention of teasing her some more evaporates as she pleads for me not to before she has to spend the rest of the day with Royce, acting as though they’re both in love. Though I can see that Royce cares for Vivien the same way she cares for him, I don’t push the topic any further and we eventually settle next to each other. She relaxes against the headboard of her bed and I wonder how she could be so relaxed with everything else going on around us. With the Hunger Games looming just ahead of us and the weight of everything I know resting on my shoulders, I can’t bring myself to the same state of calm that Vivien can. If she knew what I was planning, if she knew how much weighed on our every move in the arena and how many eyes would be on us for the rest of our lives once we got out, would she be so trusting? Would her trust in me go out the window? Would she still come to me for help or for comfort the way she has in the past?

My usual confidence is long gone and, as I spare a glimpse of Vivien’s relaxed grin, I ask, “You know I care about you, right, Pip?”

“Of course, Riv.” Vivien’s gentle smile and how quickly she responds feel like a punch to the gut. Her trust in me is so strong; will it still be that way once everything is said and done? “You know I care about you too, right?”

Wrapping my mind around her question is easy as I knew the answer long before she asked. “I do.” A sighed chuckle falls from me as I shake my head slightly and add, “Far more than I deserve most of the time.”

Vivien is quick to shake her head, an adamant tone in her voice as she presses, “That’s not true. We’re family and family loves without it needing to be earned or deserved.”

Her confusion is evident underneath the stubborn smile that never seems to disappear and I feel a small grin tug at my lips as I breathe, “Good.”

Although Vivien’s confusion takes over, she leans her head against my shoulder and softly asks, “What brought that on?”

I rest my head against hers and try to relax against the headboard as I squeeze the hand she’s tucked into mine, “Just making sure.”

Our moment of peace is broken as our day begins and Vivien leaves to take a shower while I find my way to the dining room where our mentors are talking. When I join them, they fill me in on how many sponsors have already spoken to them about wanting to help us. They claim that, after last year, people want to help the previously reaped tributes win this year and that, with all the money we should get, they should have no problem sending us gifts when we ask for them. When Juliet joins the conversation, the talk becomes more serious and we discuss the plan of getting us out of the arena and what will happen once we’re out.

Juliet claims that all dead tributes are brought back to the Training Center to be cleaned, get their tracker removed, and be made to look good until the Games end. After the tribute looks alright, the mentors of the tribute will be sent in to make confirmation that the tribute is the same one they sent into the arena so that the families can’t argue that the body isn’t that of their relative. Once the arena is free of tributes and the victor leaves the Capitol, they’ll send the bodies to their home districts so their families can bury whatever is left of them. Juliet claims that our best chance of getting us out of there is either when everyone’s focus is on the victor once they return to the Capitol or when we’re on the train back home. If we’re out of the Capitol, they can’t take us back. Mack and Brady make the plan sound effortless when they lay it out in three simple steps - fake our deaths in the arena, wait out the train ride home, and arrive in District 3 as free tributes - however, it feels like anything but. I guess, on their side of things, the plan is simple, but Vivien, Royce, and I still have a lot to do. We still have to endure the interviews, survive the bloodbath, and avoid being killed by the other tributes.

The conversation dies down once Vivien joins us for breakfast and, once we’re done eating, Juliet pulls Vivien back to her room to try on some clothes for their practice interviews. I wait with the others for the group from District 6 to arrive and listen to them jabber about sponsors and things I can’t bring myself to care about, but once Royce and his group arrive, I break off from the group and find my way to Juliet’s room. Inside, Vivien has been shoved into a dress I can tell she wants to rid herself of while her stylist looks on from her spot on the bed. In an effort to lighten the mood, I lean against the door frame and chuckle, “You look like one of those cake toppers at that ritzy bakery in Pixel Square.”

Vivien flips me off and calls me the nickname she chose long ago, but when I tell her that Royce has arrived, I see panic flood her eyes. Her stylist brushes me off and tells me to have fun, but my focus is on Vivien who I can tell is trying to force herself to calm down. Eventually, she finds my gaze and I send her a small, encouraging smile before leaving the room and telling Royce where to find them. His stylist, Carrie, moves past him with her arms loaded down with items she thinks they’ll need for the day, eager to find her friend while Royce simply shakes his head and trails behind her. Once they’re behind closed doors, I’m brought to Topaz’s room and made to try on a sample of my interview outfit before being allowed back into more comfortable clothing. My interview training begins once I’m back in the living room with the three mentors, but it doesn’t last long as the four mentors decide that, as long as I relax and let my answers come naturally, I should be fine. My natural protectiveness over Vivien and, by extension, Royce will serve me well in front of the Capitol and the ease I have speaking with the others makes it feel as though the interviews will go well, but I have a hard time holding my tongue when it comes to quick remarks or snarky comments about the Capitol.

We spend the rest of our time explaining the plan to Royce’s mentor, Butchy, who seems to take to it easily. His advice is simple: watch for cameras, draw attention to the other tributes, and, if necessary, find an alternative route to victory. He theorizes that, if we play our cards right and make it to the final three left alive, they could use Juliet and Carrie’s popularity to convince the Capitol citizens to want to call off the Games, effectively cutting it short and letting us out without the need for us to worry about the trackers. While the thought is nice, the idea of leaving the arena before it gets that far is much more appealing. In my opinion, the sooner we're out of the arena, the better, but I still take his idea into consideration all the same. 

The others join us for lunch after a while and, once the stylists leave to tailor our interview outfits, we’re asked about things we could use in the arena and we fill the others in on the fact that the arena will be a cruise ship. After a while, the stylists return and drag us off to have our clothes altered while Royce and his team leave and, by the time we find ourselves around the table again, exhaustion has set in. I retire to my room early and allow sleep to carry me into the next day. The day breezes by so quickly I have a hard time registering half of what’s happening around me, but I’m eventually dressed in an emerald suit, placed in front of a mirror, and praised by the prep team and stylists before being brought to the living room to wait for Vivien.

Vivien’s entrance is like something out of a Capitol-made movie and I have to wonder if she feels comfortable in her emerald gown. She looks scared and I can’t blame her; I am too. We both don’t do well in front of others like this as both of us have a hard time keeping our mouths shut. If we say or do something the Capitol audience doesn’t like, we could very well sign our death warrants. Vivien’s eyes find me fairly quickly and I watch her smile broaden as she scans my suit. We match and, although I can tell she likes it just as much as I do, the mirth in her gaze is hard to miss. I feel the need to comment on her clothing, giving a teasing, “Look what someone scrubbed off the shower wall.” 

Her taunt of, “Says the walking green bean,” is said with a beaming smile as I pull her close, allowing her some sort of refuge from the chaos we’re about to endure. We ride down to the waiting area and Mick’s parents give us hugs of encouragement before leaving us there. We’re met by the girls we chose to team up with and they give us some advice about the pair from District 5 and the Careers before leaving to line up with the others.

Sadly, that’s all I had written out for the epilogue, but I do have two extra scenes for later on in the epilogue that I worked on to fill things out a bit more and get them out of my head haha.

1 - Riven’s first + second-ish days in the arena

With Topaz’s advice in mind, I keep my eyes closed until my podium latches into place, allowing my eyes to adjust fairly quickly to the light that burns from above. The heat is unlike anything we get back in District 3, but I try to push away the wave of heat that washes over me as I take in my surroundings. Vivien is close to the mouth of the Cornucopia - that’s good. If she can grab some supplies and make a run for it, she can get to safety faster than most of the other tributes. The countdown begins as I find that Royce isn’t far from Vivien, standing just four podiums away. If he can run, he should. Take something and run, let Vivien do the rest. She’s close to the Cornucopia and I know she’s fast, she can take something bigger and run, meeting with me and Royce someplace else. Vivien glances my way and directs her gaze toward a set of backpacks I just barely make out through the rolling waves of heat. One is accented with red and the other with green. If what Juliet told me the other day is true, she’ll have medical supplies and some kind of tech with her. I give her the smallest nod I can manage and watch as her gaze settles on the packs once more. She’ll be running for them, no doubt.

Royce looks worried, but has his gaze focused on something near the mouth of the Cornucopia. From what I can see, it’s either a rolled-up black bag or a small, silver backpack. Silver is good. Silver is enough food to last someone a few days if they use it sparingly. He could do well with that. Black is, typically, something for small weapons - knives, multi-tools, throwing stars, and things of that nature. If Royce can grab both of those and run, he’ll be fine. Looking around, I find a large, tightly packed, purple-striped bag that I know must contain some sort of luxury item. Whatever it is, it must be huge if it fills the bag so much that it appears as though the zippers will burst open at the slightest touch. In case the bag chooses to explode, I look around and spot a lighter, yellow bag near a set of stairs on my right that I can grab if I want to get out of the area as soon as possible. Yellow is a wild card, if Juliet is right. It could be something useful like food or water or it could be something completely useless like an empty pouch or a pair of socks. Either way, I could take it and run if everything goes well.

The cannon blast echoes through the arena, signaling the beginning of the Games, and I launch into a sprint, grabbing the purple bag on my way through the fray. The asshole from District 1 swings a nearby sword in my direction, but I roll under it and kick his legs out from under him. As he falls, I catch a glimpse of Vivien colliding with the ground, but as I stand to run toward her, someone slams into me from behind and I turn to see Jade holding a backpack as a shield in front of her, her back facing me. The blade lodged into the bag is a clear sign that she’s protected me and the nod we share cements the idea of our alliance. Turning toward the stairwell once more, I run for them, grabbing a machete and yellow backpack from near the bloodied body of the boy from District 4 along the way. The inside of the stairwell is lined with bloody footprints that I hope don’t belong to either of the kids in my care as I follow them two decks down. There, the prints split off - one heading further into the ship and another set heading outside through a large metal door. One set of footprints must lead to Vivien, but which one? I don’t bother trying to spend much time thinking and decide to descend further into the ship, taking the steps as far down as they allow before finding my way inside. 

The first room I investigate on the floor I arrive on has the word “casino” on the wall in large letters and I quickly find that I’m not the only person in the area. The girl from District 8 - I discover from Royce later on that her name is Jeyveera - shrieks at my intrusion and swings wildly at me with her backpack. Using her momentum against her, I take a step back and watch the bag pull her toward the floor in a heap. She’s injured already, most likely gaining the slash in her abdomen from the bloodbath. Although she’s trying desperately to fend me off, I can see in her eyes that she just wants to run. Her fight isn’t with me, it’s with staying alive. Peering up at me from the floor, Jeyveera shakes her head and looks away.

“Are you going to kill me?” she asks.

“No,” I reply. “But you should probably move. The further you are from the stairwell, the better.”

“I’ll bleed to death,” she scoffs.

“Maybe, but it shows you’re still trying to fight.”

Lifting her gaze from the floor, I find her dark, almost black eyes filled with a hint of determination. She nods and, with a hand pressed firmly to the steadily leaking gash in her side, rises from the floor, taking her backpack and inching her way toward the door I’d entered through. I don’t spend much longer in the casino and find my way to another set of stairs and find a layout of the ship on a map. Scanning over the map is easy and I try to take note of where things are before I continue onward. The sky outside darkens as I make my way to a place called The Two Whales - a restaurant on the far end of the ship. I barricade myself in the kitchen in the back of the restaurant, snagging cans of vegetables after making sure that nobody could come in from any point in the room. I have no way of knowing who is alive or where the others are, but I know I’m safe in my kitchen, surrounded by weapons that are typically used for cooking. 

Rifling through my backpacks rewards me kindly and I find myself with a sleeping bag, a portable grill, and some thick packages of meat. I set up camp inside a series of cabinets that have no walls to separate them and stay up only long enough to see the flashes of tributes' faces in the sky. Once I’m sure that none of my allies have been killed off, I make myself comfortable and try to get some sleep. To my dismay, sleep doesn’t come easily as I still worry about Vivien and Royce. They’re still somewhere on the ship, wandering around or hunkered down in a location I have yet to explore. When I turn onto my side after some hours of trying to find some semblance of peace, my arm shoved under my head as a pillow, I finally get some kind of answer.

“They’re safe,” a voice whispers from my watch. The voice is barely audible, but I don’t have to guess who it is. Juliet’s Capitol accent is thick, but her words are comforting all the same. “They’re separated, but they’re safe. Just try to sleep. The sun will rise soon if the Gamemakers are following the time right now.”

Eventually, my eyes close and, when I finally open them again, I can see the faintest hint of the sun between the cracks of the cabinet doors. Gathering all of my belongings, I decide to continue with the plan Royce, Vivien, and I made before the Games started. I deposit my belongings in a stateroom on Deck 12 and begin my trek up to the Cornucopia with an empty backpack and the machete I snagged from the bloodbath.

2 - The aftermath of Riven’s “death” + his time in the Capitol

The feeling of being limply lifted from the deck into the hovercraft is surreal. I’ve seen it time and time again over the years on television, but living it is something else. From under my eyelashes, I can just barely see that the hovercraft is filled with people in white coats and a pair of Peacekeepers, but the white-coated doctors are instructed to leave by a simple wave of the Peacekeeper's hand after they haul me and Lexi’s dead body onto separate gurneys. Once everyone else has left the room and the door slides into place, the Peacekeepers reach up to their helmets and remove them, revealing Juliet and her friend, Carrie - the stylist in charge of Royce’s outfits. 

Carrie looks around before nodding to Juliet, “We’re clear.”

I close my eyes as Juliet reaches for my bloodied arm and swipes a nearby towel across it, cleaning it of blood before pressing a gloved hand to the skin. She feels around for a while as blood begins to pool around the open wound again and I hear her whisper, “It’s gone.”

“The tracker is gone?” Carrie questions softly. I hear Juliet hum in agreement. “Then shouldn’t that mean he’s alive?”

“He is,” Juliet whispers. “I can feel his pulse.”

Opening my eyes, I find Juliet and Carrie above me, examining my face so closely that I have to wonder what they were going to do to make me reveal that I was conscious. Instead of following through with whatever devious plans they’d concocted, I watch as their faces split into brilliant, pearly smiles. Giving them a smile of my own, I greet them, “Well, hello to you too.”

Juliet gives me a hug and they both congratulate me before deciding to follow through with whatever protocol they have to do as fake Peacekeepers. Lexi’s body is pulled into a room to one side and I’m brought to another. They leave me alone for a moment, pulling their helmets back into place before leaving the room and, when they return, they bring a single doctor to clean my wounds. My arm is sewn back together with clear threads and, before the doctor leaves, Juliet slips them something I have to assume is a thick fold of money intended to keep them quiet. The two of them question me briefly in private before reassuring me that they’ll make sure to keep an eye on Vivien and Royce for me while I wait for the Games to end. When the hovercraft lands atop the Training Center, Carrie leaves the room to bring Lexi’s body inside and I’m instructed by Juliet to keep as still as possible until she tells me otherwise. When I nod, she smiles and slides her Peacekeeper helmet into place once again before taking hold of my gurney and guiding it to an elevator. The ride down to the medical suite is quiet and, upon our arrival, Juliet brings a pouch out of her uniform and sets it into some man’s hand before telling him to do what he can to clean me up before instructing him to leave us alone.

For the remainder of the Hunger Games, I’m kept in the apartment Juliet and Carrie share. The room I’m given is an offensive shade of pink and the curtains remain closed at all times, however, the television mounted on the wall allows me to keep an eye on what’s happening in the arena, so I don’t complain. Vivien’s reaction to my death is gut-wrenching and I want nothing more than to reach through the screen and comfort her myself, but Royce does a good job at being there for her, never leaving her side. The two stay together until the end of the Hunger Games, eventually tempting fate by drinking a wine that they mixed with nightlock berries and securing them both a victory.

I’m forced to move into the president’s mansion after he discovers that Juliet and Carrie had been aiding and abetting me. It doesn’t surprise me nearly as much that he figured things out, but it takes me a while to adjust to seeing the man every day. On my first day in the mansion, I’m escorted by a flock of Peacekeepers to a large, circular room that I later find out is his meeting room. He sits me down and slides a book into my hands, telling me that he wishes for Vivien and Royce to solve a little puzzle for him in order to secure my safety and that he hopes they’ll have it solved by the end of the Victory Tour. When I tell him that it will be easy and that they’ll solve anything he throws their way, he smiles, but it isn’t nearly as sadistic as I thought it would be. Instead, he looks pleased with my answer; almost as though he’d come to that same conclusion already and simply wanted to hear me confirm it. That night, I lie awake wondering if I made the right decision in telling him how confident I was. 

Thankfully, the room I’m housed in inside the president’s mansion actually feels like a home, not some bubblegum pink, retina-burning eyesore. The warm lighting, comfortable furniture, and occasional visits from Juliet and Carrie make me feel somewhat relaxed as I spend every day within the same set of walls. Then, when the Victory Banquet comes around, I am forced to watch from afar as Vivien and Royce are escorted around in a daze. More than once, I wish for one of them to simply look up at the balcony on which I’m perched and catch my gaze, but neither of them does. Instead, as they’re guided toward the door, one of the peacekeepers takes my arm and leads me back to my room through winding hallways I would have easily gotten lost in. From my room, I watch as their car pulls away from the mansion and I feel an ache in my chest as they disappear into the crowded Capitol streets.

The first few weeks I spend in the mansion, I spend reading the book the president claims will hold the key to my release. At first, I don’t see the puzzle he wants Vviien and Royce to find, but I figure it out in time. I am escorted by Peacekeeper guards to dinner in the almost oddly small dining room I’ve had to eat every meal in with the president himself. It’s there that I question him on the book, asking if I’d solved his puzzle. With a smile, he tells me that I have and that he hopes my friends have done the same. As the days go on, the guards that guide me from one room to another shift from being in full, Peacekeeper regalia to standing around in comfortable-looking, Capitol clothing and simply waving to me as I pass on the almost familiar path to the dining room. Most nights, I sit around the small, square table with Juliet on my right and her father to my left. Every meal, I am treated as though I am nothing more than a guest despite being a prisoner of some sort.

Although Juliet doesn’t live full-time with her father in the mansion, she seems particularly upset with the idea of me being kept on the premises, confiding in me that she wishes I could return home. I’ve overheard her pleading with her father to let me go more than once, but to no avail. Instead, she makes it a point to call Vivien’s house while I am with her, letting me listen to Vivien ramble on to the blonde about her daily life and some of the difficulties she’s faced in recent times. Eventually, the calls fade from a few hours to maybe a half-hour, if we’re lucky. In every call, I can hear the pain and feigned happiness in Vivien’s voice with every word, only serving to drive the knife further into my chest. Despite my desire to say something or make a noise in the background to show her that I’m there and can hear her, Juliet reminds me that her father made me promise to let them solve the puzzle themselves and I force myself to remain silent. The president could easily have one of his guards kill me or have his kitchen staff poison my food - I don’t wish to end up actually dead.

At the end of the third month, I’m given some freedom. I’m allowed to wander the grounds unattended and, more than once, Carrie and Juliet invite me to their apartment for dinner. Of course, to keep my anonymity, they dress me in some of the latest trends and keep me in disguise until I’m back inside the mansion, but getting outside and being able to feel some semblance of freedom is nice. As time goes by, I hardly even care about the ridiculous outfits they shove me into.

By the time five months have passed, I’m almost used to the everyday life inside the mansion. I’ve befriended some of the guards and joined in on some of their late-night card games. They no longer greet me with curt nods and stiff waves, instead greeting me the same way my friends back home would. I have access to almost every room and spend most of my time reading some of the books in the mansion’s library, occasionally taking a book out to the garden when the rain has cleared and reading with the occasional birds or rabbits that come up to me almost expectantly. I learn from a brief encounter with the president in the greenhouse that the animals expect food every time someone steps outside and, from then on, I keep a pouch of seeds and a handful of sliced carrots on me everytime I step out to the garden.

Carrie and Juliet visit me before the Victory Tour is set to begin, giving me final embraces before their departure. As the cameras and prep teams will be with them the entire time, I’m disallowed from joining them at the train station, but their visit is enough for me to hope that they will aid Vivien and Royce with the puzzle if they haven’t solved it already. Once Carrie leaves my room, Juliet takes a small box from her pocket and tucks it into my hand with a wink before following her friend out. The box contains the watch I wore in the arena, the glass no longer broken and the time finally functional once more. Once Juliet boards the train, I hear the voice I’ve grown used to hearing come over the watch’s miniscule speaker, telling me that she’ll keep me updated on everything and let me hear as much as she does once she arrives in District 6.

Juliet keeps to her word and I hear almost every conversation she has once she steps off of the train. I hear the conversations she has with the mayor and some of the people who have gathered at the train station, her idle chatter with the prep teams, and, most interestingly, Royce and his family. It seems as though they have plans to surprise Vivien, something I sincerely hope works out for them. They spend a while talking and preparing Royce for the journey and, just as they’re about to file into the car, I hear him exclaim about something he forgot inside his house. A few minutes later, he returns, sliding into the car alongside Carrie, who asks, “Sherlock Holmes, huh?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “President Harmon gave it to me.”

It’s then that I wonder if he’s solved it. I mean, by now, I would hope that he and Vivien have worked together to answer the puzzle, but there’s no telling. The train ride to District 3 is mostly silent, but that gives me time to try to think of something to say if I’m able to see Vivien and Royce again. A few days into the Victory Tour, when the group is stationed in District 7, I go to the president in search of a certain book I enjoyed in the arena. I try not to look as disappointed as I feel when he tells me that he doesn’t have a copy of the book, but to my surprise, he finds me later that evening in the garden and hands me a set of books by Will Livingston - volumes one and two of my joke book, No Pun Intended. 

I thank him and, before he leaves, he asks, “What is the downside to eating a clock?”

My eyes widen at the prospect of the president cracking a joke from one of the books and I try to think of an answer before shrugging, “I don’t know.”

With a smirk rivaling that of my own, President Harmon replies, “It’s time consuming.”

We share a laugh and the president wishes me a good night before heading back inside, leaving me in the garden with my jokebooks and my thoughts. I spend a few days poring over the books in search of the perfect joke to use and, while I find many that are hilarious, none of them have the impact that I’m looking for. Then, when the Victory Tour is stopped in District 2, I find the perfect joke - one about ghosts. I mean, how fitting is that? I’m supposedly a ghost right now, so it works out perfectly, in my opinion.

For the next few days, I anxiously await the arrival of my friends, thinking of ways they could react to my sudden appearance after all this time. However, nothing could have prepared me for the real deal. I first see them from the same balcony I’d stood on six months prior, Vivien latched onto Royce’s arm as they’re guided through the party by Carrie and Juliet. More than once, I have the urge to vault over the railing and join them, but President Harmon had two of the guards - Hermes and Silas - escort me there for a reason, so I keep myself in check. As the party nears its end, I’m brought back to my room and told to wait there for further instruction When Carrie and Juliet come barging into my room after the party is over, the door bouncing off the wall from slamming it so hard, I have to jump. Then, the glittering excitement in their eyes makes it obvious that the time has come for me to make an appearance.

A million thoughts race through my head as the girls lead me to the circular office the president is waiting in. I hear Vivien and Royce before I see them and their voices alone are enough to make my eyes burn and my chest tighten. The doors slide open silently and Juliet pulls me to a spot just a few paces behind Vivien and Royce and gestures for me to stay silent as the president asks, “How does this coincide with the changes you would like to make?”

I hear Vivien take in a sharp breath, ready to snap back at an instant, but it’s Royce who speaks first, an impressively assertive tone clinging to every word, “If Riven is still alive, here in the Capitol, we would like to bring him home.”

Almost too meekly to sound like my Pip, Vivien utters, “Please. I just want to bring him home.” She takes in another breath and releases her thoughts to the room, “It’s not the same without him. Without him there, I have nobody back home who will tease me relentlessly or sing dumb songs on the walk home from work or will go out on the lake with me in the winter and goof off or-” Vivien’s voice stops and I fight the urge to reach out and comfort her as Royce wraps an arm around her shoulders. With a shaky, almost wet sounding voice, she adds, “Nobody to make me listen to his absolutely terrible jokes.”

I meet the president’s gaze in the silence that follows and, as he rises from the table and takes a book from the other side of it, I wonder if my time has come. “I understand how difficult it is to lose someone, Vivien,” he tells them. “My wife died just a few years ago. Memories like you have are hard to let go of, but there will always be more memories to make with the people you love.”

President Harmon returns to the side everyone hass gathered on and holds a book out for them to see. My joke book. I know my copies are still in the room I’ve been kept in, so I know he must have gotten an extra copy for himself. Vivien reaches out for the book and he pulls it out from near her grasp, leaving her sputtering as he holds it out once more, this time, glancing my way. Carrie nudges me closer and I quickly take the book, saying a quick, “Sorry, Pip,” as I latch onto it. “I know you love books and all, but I believe that’s actually mine.”

Royce is the first to move, breathing out a soft, “No fucking way,” once he sees me. I can feel the burn in my eyes as they begin to blur. 

Royce smiles at me and urges Vivien to turn my way as I try to clal back on any of the times I had prepared for this moment. “I have a joke for you two,” I offer as Vivien turns and I try to keep my emotions in check as she keeps her gaze from mine. 

Eventually, she meets my eyes and I find she’s already crying, her tears lining her cheeks with faint tracks of whatever makeup has been layered on her skin. “Riven?” she mutters.

As much as I want to launch forward and take both of them in, I still want to get my greeting joke across as I ask,  “Why are ghosts terrible liars?”

Vivien looks confused while Royce simply barks a laugh and slams into my chest, berating me with a laugh of, “Six months apart and you decide to greet us with a shitty joke?”

“Shitty?” I laugh as I bring my arms around Royce’s shoulders. “But you haven’t even heard the punchline!”

Royce slides away a step and, as he hastily swipes a hand under his eyes, I turn my attention back to Vivien who looks as though she’s seen a ghost. Her skin, despite the makeup, looks pale and, as she wobbles on her feet, I ask her if she’s alright, but receive no answer. Carrie reaches out and places a hand on her arm, asking a simple, “Vivien?”

In return, Vivien jumps and, all at once, her eyes roll back and I lurch forward, catching her before she has the chance to hit the floor. The others crowd around us as we wait for Vivien to rouse, but it takes a few minutes. Her eyes flutter open and she looks around before muttering a soft, “Tired,” in response to Juliet’s question of if she was alright and falling asleep once again. Despite Royce and the stylists claiming Vivien had been overwhelmed for most of the party and insisting that she must have collapsed due to exhaustion, President Harmon calls for one of his guards who retrieves the President’s personal medic. The doctor examines Vivien, checking her over before simply restating the assumptions passed on by Royce and the girls. In the end, I carry her to the car that has been waiting for us and we ride to the train station in relative silence so as to not wake Vivien. Royce chooses to stay the night with her in case she wakes up confused with being in a new location and I lie awake for most of the night, glad to finally be going home.

Sadly, that's all I've got for you, but I certainly hope that you enjoyed reading through all of the deleted scenes I've compiled over the last few months. This story was such an adventure and I had so much fun working on it, but hopefully, I'll be working on some one-shots soon to fill up the summer with writing and prepare me for my novel version of this fantastic little world we've created with these characters!

#Scattered Screams

[eldest-sibling-tournament]

Let the propaganda begin. Katniss Everdeen should win. Her entire story is defined by her being a sister. If she wasn’t a sister the whole story wouldn’t have happened. Her volunteering for prim is the core of her character. It’s who she is. She’s got the sister instinct. From when she was a young kid until the very end of the series her primary priority was her sister. And it’s a fucking tragedy the way it ended. She lost the most important person in her life, the perosn she sacrificed everything for.

Now on why dick Grayson shouldn’t win. I’m just gonna say it I like his character, I really do he’s great but he’s not more older sibling that katniss. He’s a good eldest but it’s not his core. At his core he’s a hero, which is where is varies from katniss. I think that while he started off his journey to being a hero as a super angry vengeful kid he grew to be a compassionate hero who cared primarily about others (why does that sound so testimonial), katniss on the other hand her core is her love for her family. In terms of inter personal relationships, common misconception about dick Grayson is that he’s very close to all his siblings, this is false, he’s closest to Damian and Tim. Although some versions of him should not be allowed siblings (looking at you titans nightwing 🤮)

I’m actually struggling to slander this man bc I’m gonna have to take things out of context which are true but feel like I’m doing something wrong, I’m already stretching with some of the stuff I’ve said and look I’m anon and stuff but I’ve talked up anti dick propaganda but I do actuallt like him I just don’t think he should win this by poll in a very genuine way. Each time I think of something I’m like “personally could justify his actions” bc I’ve spent so long analysing his characters decisions someone pls help

Wait I got one remember in the alt universe where he’s the vampire king and killed like all of his siblings and stomped Tim’s head like a water melon, and then 10 mins later he was like “why don’t my brothers want to be vampires with me 🥺🥺” hmmmm I wonder why idiot. Um uh oh I got it, whatever the fuck that was with new 52 (were really gonna go there). He was such a mess there. Like that one comic storyline with mother, he did not act well they weren’t even really siblings in that and like Grayson smh real DICK move (I’m so funny) (don’t tell me the context I know Bruce made him) and like smh not telling your siblings you’re actually alive and your dead sibling come back to life coming back and finding you’re dead for you actually yo not be very rude.

Ig what I’m saying is katniss deserves this win. But dick Grayson is a good brother. But katniss deserves to win. She is THE older sister. So Uh sorry if this doesn’t make sense or w/e i just woke up. Vote katniss 2023

thank you!!

#propaganda #katniss everdeen

[septembercfawkes]

7 Point Story Structure Explained in 5 Minutes

Hi there! Today we are doing a basic introduction to and breakdown of 7 Point Story Structure--all in ~5 minutes.

This is a great story structure to learn when you already know the basic, basic story structure:

And are ready to go a little deeper, without doing a deep dive into more complex approaches like The Hero's Journey or Save the Cat! (Or other, more complicated renditions of 7 Point Story Structure.)

And a lot of best-selling writers stick to this structure alone.

It doesn't seem like anyone knows definitively where this structure originated. Some say here. Some say there. Dan Wells, a best-selling writer, is sort of famous for (and sometimes misattributed for having come up with) it, but he says he learned it from a role-playing guide book, but I've also seen it in other places. It's used a lot in screenwriting.

It's also worth noting that both Larry Brooks and K. M. Weiland use a rendition of this structure as well.

While some, like Wells, use the term "Plot Turn," others, like Brooks and Weiland, use the term "Plot Point." (You know how writing terms are--not regulated 🙄) So please note that they mean the same thing, should you listen to people talk about this structure. So let's get to it.

7 Point Story Structure

Hook --This is the starting of the story. It includes the setup, which grounds the audience. Who is this story about? Where is this story taking place? Everything you need before problems really take a turn.

Here, the protagonist will start in a state that is the opposite of where he ends up (typically). Plot Point 1 -- At Plot Point 1, something enters the story that challenges the established normal and leads the protagonist to go a new direction. This shifts the story from the Hook section and gets it on course to hit the Resolution at the end.

Pinch Point 1 -- A pinch point is what it sounds like. It's a key moment where the antagonistic forces apply pressure to ("pinch") the protagonist. It reveals to the audience that the antagonist is a legit force and foe. Typically, this pressure forces the protagonist to take further action. It forces her to step up and try to solve a problem. Midpoint -- The midpoint is the moment the protagonist decides to move from responding to acting. Since Plot Point 1, he's been responding to what's happening. Here, an event leads the protagonist to become more proactive at defeating the antagonist. This happens at the middle of the story. Pinch Point 2 -- Another pinch from antagonistic forces that is worse or more dangerous than the first. Now or eventually it leads to a moment where it feels like all is lost. Plot Point 2 -- This is the final turn to the end. Here, the protagonist gains something significant that will help with the climax. He rushes to defeat the antagonistic forces.

Resolution -- This is the climax of the story, where the protagonist achieves (or fails) in her goals. She usually ends the story in a state opposite of the Hook.

A Note on Ambiguity Concerning Plot Points 1 & 2

Story structure can be more complex than this (as I mentioned), and as a result, you may see places where Plot Point 1 and Plot Point 2 are defined a little differently by writers. For clarity, I'm going to break this down a touch further.

Plot Point 1 Ambiguity:

After the story's setup, something unexpected enters the picture that disrupts what's "normal." You may have heard this called the "inciting incident," a "catalyst," or the "Call to Adventure."

This moment eventually leads the protagonist to choose a new path forward.

In some cases, this happens back to back. Prim has her name called out, and almost immediately after, Katniss volunteers.

In other stories, there may be entire scenes between those moments. In The Hobbit, Gandalf comes and invites Bilbo to go on an adventure, but Bilbo doesn't actually choose to go on the adventure until quite a bit later.

I have heard some writers refer to the former as Plot Point 1, and others refer to the latter as Plot Point 1.

What matters is that you understand that something enters the story and disrupts the normal, which leads the protagonist to choose a new path forward. This may happen back to back, or it may be spread out.

In some approaches, Plot Point 1 is seen as the moment where the protagonist definitively moves away from the established normal--when there is no turning back--and begins the new journey into the main conflict.  

Call them what you want, but understand these different moments.

Plot Point 2 Ambiguity:

Likewise, at the end of the middle, two things usually happen:

The protagonist has an "all is lost" moment, where after a big loss, it seems like there is no way they can succeed.

However, soon after this, they gain something that empowers them, and that allows them to move forward toward the climax.

Some writers call the former Plot Point 2, while others call the latter Plot Point 2.

What matters is that you understand that the protagonist suffers a painful loss before gaining something empowering (usually).

Example: His Dark Materials

Hook -- The story starts in Oxford, England, with Lyra who has a daemon named Pantalaimon. We are introduced to her world, which is a parallel of our own.

Plot Point 1 -- Mrs. Coulter arrives to take Lyra to live with her in London. After Roger is kidnapped, Lyra chooses to go with Mrs. Coulter, in the hopes she'll help her find Roger. (Worth noting is that Lyra is also given the alethiometer and told it was her uncle's)

Pinch Point 1 -- Lyra discovers that Mrs. Coulter is actually the head of the General Oblation Board (a group linked to Roger's kidnapping), so she runs away.

Midpoint -- After gaining more allies (Iorek and Lee Scoresby), Lyra and the Gyptians are now more proactive on their quest to rescue those kidnapped (and for Lyra to reunite with her uncle).

Pinch Point 2 -- Lyra is captured by villains and sent to go through intercision.

Plot Point 2 -- When it seems like Lyra has no escape from intercision, she is rescued by Mrs. Coulter, which then allows her to rescue the other children, including Roger, who accompanies her on her journey to find her "uncle" (she is empowered by freedom and an ally).

Resolution -- Lyra helps Iorek regain his place as rightful king. She takes the alethiometer to Lord Asriel (her "uncle"), who later uses Roger for an experiment that opens a gateway to another world, which Lyra chooses to go through.

And that makes up our five-minute explanation.

If you want to see the pros and cons of this structure, continue on.

Strengths & Weaknesses of 7 Point Story Structure

One of the best things about 7 Point Story Structure is that is has clear moments that focus on the antagonist--the pinch points. This means it asks writers to consider what their antagonists are doing, which I think sort of gets clouded over in the other story structures. When stripped down to the essential basics (like here), this structure is straightforward and easy to identify. I mean, two of the terms get reused. Simple. But that leads me to what I consider are some of the problems. The term "Hook" is misleading, in my opinion, since not everything in that section is actually a hook. Writers are often told to begin "with a hook," which means an actual hook. Of course the Hook should have an actual hook (and multiple), but outside of this structure, nowhere else have I seen setup and exposition referred to with the word "hook." I think that makes it confusing, and it adds to the ambiguity of writing terms in the writing world.

Likewise, I think the term "Resolution" is problematic. Oh yeah, sure, there are other story structures that use that term to include the climax, but most I see these days, don't. I mean, I guess it makes sense, since much of the climax is about resolving problems, one after another, but I feel like it's misleading because it combines climax and falling action into one, and I feel like those are two very separate segments. And I think most of us today are taught that those are two different segments.

So overall, while it's a great structure to use, keep in mind it has ambiguity issues.

Other Story Structure Approaches

This is just one approach to story structure. However, in my opinion, all the structures actually overlap, more or less. In the future (likely months from now), I'll show how superimposing them will give you a more comprehensive and accurate view of structure--great for plotting, writing, revising and troubleshooting.

Learn about The Hero's Journey structure

Learn about the Save the Cat! structure

Learn about a hybrid version of 7 Point Story Structure

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #nanowrimo #writeblr #writing reference #fanfic #story structure #7 point story structure

[hutchhitched]

Still catching up from last week. Thanks to @everlarkedalways​ for hosting. Here are thoughts and musings on Chapter 2.

I love this chapter. This is the chapter in which we meet Peeta, and Peeta’s why I love this book series. It’s beautifully written. The way Collins ties heat to bread to dandelions to hope is just gorgeous.

 Thoughts:

 I’d forgotten about the people who bet on who gets reaped. It’s a sad, sad, rather despicable thing to bet on other people’s misfortune. The desperation and hopelessness that’s occurred so that people sink so low is unthinkable.

 I’ve done a lot for my sister. You know, like giving up everything and moving 850 miles to work three part time jobs and help care for my dying brother-in-law and twin baby nephews while my own belongings are stored in a barn loft for ten years. I still don’t think I’d volunteer to die for her. I’m also the baby sister, so that might be part of it.

 When Katniss is on stage, she puts her hands behind her back and looks off into the distance at the hills she climbed earlier in the morning with Gale. It’s not overt, but for those who are familiar with the psalm, it kind of jumps out. Psalm 121:1 says, I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. She should have run. That’s what she’s thinking, but it’s too late. Help’s not coming. That’s also one of the verses from scripture that Jewish prisoners clung to during the Holocaust. It’s referenced in the 1959 film version of The Diary of Anne Frank. It’s a verse recited by those who are helpless in the face of the horror that’s coming.

 When I went to Auschwitz in 2017, it was an absolutely gorgeous day. It was mid-July, sunny, late afternoon, and the grass had just been mowed. It smelled amazing. There were purple mountains off in the distance. I stood in the death camp where over a million people were tortured, starved, and worked to death, and was stunned at how a place so pretty could house such atrocities. It’s stuck with me, and it’s what went through my mind as I read that sentence.

 Katniss is in a hopeless place, but she’s honored by her townspeople with the three-fingered salute, something she says is an “old” gesture. I wish Collins told us where it came from. Does she in Ballad? I need to reread that book.

 Haymitch likes Katniss because she has spunk, and then he taunts the Capitol, falls off the stage, and knocks himself unconscious. He’s not even awake when Peeta’s name is called. Maybe that’s why Katniss is his favorite. Or (and I’ve wondered this often) maybe he likes Peeta better, but he knows Katniss will be the spark of the rebellion.

 Ironically, help comes in the form of Peeta Mellark. He helped her when she was young and weak and starving, and now he’s coming up to the stage to join her. She’s got a connection to this boy, feels guilt about not thanking him, and laments that the odds aren’t in her favor. By the end of the book, Peeta’s name being called might have been the luckiest thing that could have happened to her. It’s their connection that makes her likeable, and it’s their love story that allows for two victors to win the games. Maybe Katniss doesn’t think the odds are in her favor, but they really are.

 I just started reading a book on the fixation of evangelicals with masculinity and how political conservatives/evangelicals don’t like the “wussicfication” of America. There’s a rejection of men who don’t assert their masculinity and a repudiation of feminism which is in opposition to patriarchal control. There’s something about Peeta’s lack of toxic masculinity and Peeta’s mother being a strong (and abusive) woman, but it’s still rolling around in my head. I’m not sure what it is yet. (Please note: I am not saying feminists are abusive, only that Mrs. Mellark is a strong female presence and also abusive.)

 I could go on and on about how wonderful this chapter is, but sometimes less is more. I’m going to let the flashback stand on its own. It’s that good.

#thgagain #the hunger games #the hunger games meta #thoughts #still pondering some things

[mountain-ash-and-rusted-iron]

this is an oc masterpost of all my haf-formed ocs languishing on pinterest with their messy aesthetics and unedited blurbs, in roughly chronological order of their creation, plus sorted by fandom. this post is only asoiaf, harry potter, hunger games, and riverdale, cos i have tooooooo many original characters otherwise and the post was getting incredibly long. (note that i love my ocs but these one’s are not polished or even the final versions of their characters, i just wanted to post them lol)

under a read more, if you’re on mobile start scrolling i guess, sorry,,,

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire:

Laeya Targeryen: (child of Rhaella and Aerys Targaryen, born 280 AC - three years older than Danaerys) 

Fearful of her impending marriage, Laeya is eleven when she takes her younger sister and flees across the sea to Dorne, hiding herself and Dany with dyed hair and badly controlled magic. As Leia and Dani Sand they learn to live normally. At 15 Leia joins the Royal Guard and secures Dany work as a tailor's apprentice. When she is 17, an assassin tries to kill her in front of the Dornish court and everything changes...

- so laeya straight up has magic, which im considering an extension of the dragon thing dany has - she can control flame and for the disguise uses her ‘inner fire’ to make her eyes white-blue like super hot flames, cos the purple eyes are super distinctive. and then she’s discovered and suddenly politics are happening. honestly she’s entirely a way for me to remove the child marriage bits of the targaryen storyline (stop marrying off your twelve-year-old baby sister viserys u asshole) - in terms of meta/basics, laeya doesn’t have a fc cos most of my early ocs don’t, and bcs i picture her as emilia clarke with faked dark hair and blue eyes lol

and a quick aesthetic below:

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Kyrra Snow: (child of Robert Baratheon and Maery Snow, birthdate ???)

Kyrra Snow is the eldest natural-born child of Robert Baratheon, current King of Westeros, and daughter of Maery Snow, a Southron (but Northern-born) merchant woman. After her mother realises Kyrra was growing up a little too much like her father in looks and needed to leave the far South before she caught the wrong sort of attention, Kyrra was sent off to travel with her aunt and cousins. She is 17 and heading further north, to Winter Town, when Jon Arryn dies.

- kyrra’s another child of everyone’s favourite asshole king, and she’s got a lot of people after her head, but she just wants to travel and continue her work as a simple peddler. (riiip poor girl) honestly she’s not that developed but yolo -

aes:

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Brynn Stark: (child of Catelyn and Eddard Stark, Robb’s twin sister)  

Brynn believes in honour and family, and she is loyal to Winterfell and the North above all else. Likes - archery, embroidery and weaving. Betrothed to [some young Northern lord] to keep the bonds between the Norther families strong.

-i basically made brynn as a contrast to sansa’s pro-southnness and excessive femininity and arya’s anger and desire for swords (relatable mood tho lmao). so brynn is here to mediate, extoll the virtues of both needlework and weapons, make a decent marriage to someone she likes, if not loves, and hold down the fort in the North while shit gets increasingly messier in the South. and a possible faceclaim is Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey - 

aes:

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Rosienne Lannister: (child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister, born 273 AC)

Rose is looked at by the realm with dismissal, a consolation prize for her father, a spare daughter only useful for matchmaking, but at least able-bodied and pretty, unlike her brother. After a long betrothal, Rose is married to Willas Tyrell at the age of eighteen, cementing her role as the next Lady of High Garden...

- Rosie/Rose is a bonus Lannister, bcs why not. likes cyvasse and the harp, soft and kind and maternal, powerful in her own way. originally she was from a minor divergence where joanna survives tyrion’s birth and goes on to have another kid, but not sure if i’ll keep that aspect, so for now she’s tyrion’s twin -

and her aes (yes that quote is cropped, no i don’t care rn):

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honourable mentions to my other got underdeveloped got/asoiaf ocs who need more effort before i post properly about them:

Tamlen Storm, a rookery apprentice (working for the Maester of House Tully, managing the ravens) who may or may not be a reincarnated si-oc trying to save westeros, 

and an unnamed northern huntress who stumbled into the plot somehow and wants her normal life back (entirely inspired by Keira Knightley as Gwyn in Princess of Thieves, when she’s doing archery stuff and looking v butch).

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Harry Potter:

Taurus ‘Ara’ Lestrange:  (child of Bellatrix and Roldolphous Lestrange, born 1978) 

Raised by the Goblins after a legal mix-up following her parents' imprisonment in Azkaban, Taurus is good with a sword and aiming to be the next Minister of Magic. She attends Hogwarts with the other magical kids her age, under the fake identity Ara Burke, unknown cousin of a minor half-blood family. When the Potter brat’s drama starts destroying her change at an education just as her fourth year, her OWL prep year, begins, Ara intervenes.

- im tangentially aware that as bellatrix’s kid she’s almost occupying the place of whats-her-name from the cursed child, but considering that i know nothing about the cursed child and don’t care about it anyway, i have elected to ignore this. her actual parent might turn out to be some smitten half-blood from a minor branch of the Greengrass family, or it might actually be Rodolphous, who knows. slightly inspired by the fic ‘Harry Crow’ (by robst on ff.net) where harry is raised by the goblins -

messy aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Valerian Potter: (child of Lily and James Potter, born 1980)

After the Potter twins’ parents are murdered by Voldemort, they’re dumped on the doorstep of Number 4, Privet Drive. Dealing with two traumatised magical orphans, Petunia and Vernon Dursley turn to violence and neglect to stay in control, acting far more harshly than expected. With the arrival of two Hogwarts letters, life gets complicated incredibly quickly. (Self-sufficient and scarred from abuse, Val and Harry are immediately Sorted into Slytherin). 

- val’s fic is basically an angst fest, okay,,, -

aes:

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and shout-outs to: holly addison potter, a half-baked reincarnation si-oc (i love that concept a lot, can u tell) and my fav girl thea dursley, who already has her own fic and so isn’t getting a proper spot in this post 

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The Hunger Games:

Asher: (District Two, age 18) 

[rip no blurb for asher]

-asher is a career from two, who wins the 70th games. mostly im focusing on her recovery and how the games function in two, with training volunteers and mentoring and collecting sponsors, plus eventually the rebellion. lots of the D2 headcanon i have is inspired by @/lorata but i defintely made a distinct effort to have my own stuff, cos where’s the fun in plagiarism -

aes for Asher’s Games:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Rowan Everdeen: (District Twelve, age 19)

Rowan will do anything to protect her family. This extends to going to Head Peacekeeper Cray on a cold winters night, charging the most she can get for her virginity.  It extends to Reaping Day, when she steps out in front of the crowd and says “I volunteer as tribute” in the steadiest voice she can muster.  It extends to clawing her way out of the Arena, bloody and exhausted, with blades in her hands and violence kept tucked behind her teeth. It extends further, to a simple ‘Yes, President Snow’ when he coldly, carefully implies her family might meet with an accident if she doesn’t play the good little Victor (and fuck the people who pay the Capitol for her company). It extends to joining the Rebellion, to looking President Coin directly in the eye and agreeing to be a Mockingjay, a symbol for the people to rally around.

- another everdeen kiddo! as the big sister, rowan volunteers for prim, and goes through the Games - she’s a healer and a hunter, and a decent enough actor that she can manage interviews and a camera presence, unlike katniss. rowan also pairs well with a minor au i have, where the reapings are spaced out over a week and official training is a longer, giving the capitol a nice, long buildup to get excited and place bets, etc., and giving the poor, underfed tributes from the outer districts a better chance, which makes for more interesting television and better Games -

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Adrasteia Crane: (The Capitol, age 28) Unlike her big brother, Adrasteia doesn’t want to be a Gamemaker. Instead, she wants to create clothes, artwork, to enrapture the Capitol. She wants to be a Games stylist. After years of design school, of working her way up the ranks, first a PA’s assistant, and then fetching and carrying for Twelve’s prep team, and then eventually on a prep team for the dull tributes from Six, Adrasteia Crane finally has what she wants - the position of stylist for District Three’s male tribute in 74th Hunger Games. 

- tbh adrasteia is only seneca crane’s sister because i couldn’t think of a suitable last name for her lmao. i think i’d actually prefer her to be unattached to any major canon players. however, his death is a good motivation for her to join the rebellion, so we’ll see. she’s got a bit of the capitol fashion thing going too, with soft pink hair and diamond-effect skin on her face and shoulders -

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also bonus hunger games content: another oc, Sarsaparilla Verran, from District Eleven, fifteen and alone when she goes into the Games. An orphan, her siblings lost to the Community Home system years ago, her relatives dead or uncaring. So, Rilla is a wee lonely bab tbh. she did not want this, unlike most of my other hg ocs, and she’s not excited for weeks of murder. she just wants her family back, but since that isn’t possible, she’ll build a new family instead. and uuhhhhh,  spoiler alert, she dies before she can have this ://///

and my hunger games aus - a canon divergence where katniss joins the careers instead of peeta, her desire to go home to her family outweighing her reactive hate for the concept of training/volunteering to kill other teens, and a fem!Haymitch au where she’s a little wiser to the dark side of the capitol before she commits acts of rebellion (she still rebels anyway tho, just smarter).

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Riverdale:

Cat Cooper: (middle child of Alice and Hal Cooper) Cat Cooper (17) is the black sheep of the Cooper family. Her piercings, brightly dyed hair and connections to the Southside Serpents make her the odd one out among her sisters and constantly at odds with Alice Cooper. Cat’s life is occupied with her Serpent friends, work at a local coffee shop, and training - martial arts, supplemented with cross country, gymnastics and swimming. Until her older sister is shipped off to places unknown and her baby sister starts getting caught up in murder investigation with the absent Serpent heir... 

- haven’t decided between Catelyn or Catherine for Cat’s full name lmao. she used to be Kit, actually, but I changed it cos i prefer Kit to solely be my divergent oc (kit serafim). Cat is an ADHD disaster who loves her sisters and her friends and wants to get the hell out of Riverdale on a sports scholarship (she does either boxing or karate mainly, need to figure that bit out) -

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Georgie Andrews: (child of Mary and Fred Andrews)

Georgie likes soft drinks, cheerleading, and hanging out with the Blossom twins and Polly Cooper, their closest friends and a welcome distraction from their own problems. After Polly and Jason vanish, Georgie’s support system is almost gone, and they has to deal with everything they’ve been bottling up, just in time for Fred Andrews to get shot.

- also just angst ngl.  so georgie’s gender is basically ???, they enjoy cheerleading and not much else. they spend half their time dealing with depression, by trying to ignore stressful/hard topics and focus on the good side of everything. this isn’t a great long-term coping mechanism and has the fun side effect of pissing of the people around him when she seems unable to be serious or empathetic to someone else's pain (bcs she’s too busy deflecting for the sake of her own fragile mental health), so it gets fun when fred is shot and archie starts getting in too deep with the lodges -

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Sera Thornstone: (parents ???) Southside Serpent. Going to the Riverdale Community College and running errands for FP Jones. And secretly meeting up with her Ghoulie lover down by the Sweetwater where nobody goes. 

- everything about sera is vague and undecided lmao. but she has a ghoulie gf/bf/nbf? and they’re hiding that they were down by the river on the 4th of july, cos a serpent is an immediate suspect. going to community college to work on getting general credits before saving up for fancy school for law or journalism. the aes isn’t entirely accurate cos sera’s built from the remains of another serpent oc who i scrapped (she does have a baseball bat tho) -

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and honourable mentions to jen johnson and octavia blossom-murphy, my other riverdale ocs who actually have content, plus an in-development unnamed oc who gets adopted from the soqm by the Muggs family and growsup with Ethel. and my riverdale role reversal au, which i will never write but have some nice aesthetics for under the tag wip: bughead role reversal au.

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all my mini-aesthetics here are unsourced images/from pinterest. any similarities to other people or characters, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

alrighty that’s it. now i have to tag this behemoth argh

#ocapp #ashandrustediron ocs #ashandrustediron edits #i say edits #i mean neatly cropped screenshots #lmao #fandom: harry potter #fandom: the hunger games #fandom: a song of ice and fire #fandom: game of thrones #fandom: riverdale #ashandrustrediron writes #time to tag the ocs who will actually get content later #oc: rosienne lannister #oc: tamlen storm #tam actually has a fic outline unlike most of these other westerosi ocs lol #oc: ara lestrange #oc: asher #no last name bcs volunteers from two don't have last names #they belong to the capitol and their district #<- fun fact about that fic i guess #oc: rowan everdeen #oc: adrasteia crane #none of the riverdale ocs will get a tag bcs i already have riverdale oc fic im working on #long post #long post cw #oh and some warnings for the stuff brushed upon in the blurbs i guess #gender dysphoria #violence #child marriage

[chouetteffraie]

About BSD S3

Alternative title: Kenna talks about stuff literally nobody asked her to <3

So now that s3 is over and I’ve had a few days to breathe, I think I wanna say a thing or two about the season overall. Now, I’m not a meta writer, I’m not a person who can go in over analyzing everything perfectly- quite simply, I don’t have the brainpower to do that for too long. So rather than this being an analysis of everything and an objective evaluation of the quality of the season, this is largely an emotional response where I just talk about my experience with it. I’m not a critic- I don’t think I have that in my blood. I watch to enjoy, then reflect on what I did and didn’t enjoy, taking snippets and twisting them into something that might become deep and meaningful occasionally if it suits my writing. There’s nothing wrong with being a critical analyzer! We need you all in the fandom for all these fabulous metas and such <3 I just don’t think I’m the right gal for the job.

“So, Kenna, what is it you have to say?” Well, in the simplest of terms,

I really liked season 3.

“...wow. Groundbreaking.”

Now, let me explain myself. There are problems with season 3, as there are with most seasons, but I feel, overall, there were enough things that I liked about season 3 to keep the season in my favor.

I think my biggest criticism would have to be with pacing. The pacing  in this season was so off for me and can be described as sporadic at best. From backstories to character introductions to character re-introductions, there was so much that went by in a blur and so much that seemed to go on forever. My biggest complaint probably has to do with (yup, you guessed it) the adaptation of Fifteen.

Let me explain.

First of all, I think the complaints that Bones used Soukoku as ship bait have a sturdy foundation, and I’m not here to dispute that. As a Dazatsu main myself, I’m not gonna complain about loving scenes with your favorite ship in them- I would absolutely die if next season (hopefully there is a next season!) we got a three-episode plot revolving around Dazai and Atsushi. However, I just don’t think it fit in nicely with the rest of the series.

After all, it’s kind of unfortunate that we got 3 episodes of Soukoku’s backstory, and yet our protagonist only got 1/3 of an episode.

Maybe Fifteen would’ve stood better as an OVA, or maybe if it could’ve been shaved down to two episodes. Maybe if BSD had been given three more episodes for genuine content, things would’ve been better. I don’t know how possible any of these things would’ve been, but they’re ideas. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Fifteen overall. But I remember thinking that it seemed so out of place when I knew the chaotic arc that was coming. 

I’m not an avid manga reader, but I know enough to be able to say that the BSD manga has a lot of content, a lot of nuance, and a lot of personality. The manga is the source material and what got people so invested in the story. If there wasn’t an interest in the manga, would there even have been an anime adaptation? What I’m saying here is that staying true to the manga is a good rule of thumb, and while of course you won’t be able to translate everything into animation, it’s probably best to try and be as similar as possible with a story like BSD.

Manga readers ate up the story of BSD without being interrupted by Fifteen, because as far as I’m aware, Fifteen is fairly new? (Didn’t it come out around Dead Apple time? I’m not entirely sure, but it might’ve been.) And, unlike The Dark Era, the events of Fifteen didn’t have nearly as much of an impact on Dazai (that would later impact our protagonist- after all, how could he mentor Atsu if he never quit the mafia?). Fifteen was more Chuuya-centric in terms of future impact, which brings me to my next point.

Chuuya is a side character. I love him, honestly, and think he’s a great character, but he isn’t our main focus. This seems to be a problem that Bones has a lot: “forgetting” who their protagonist is. 

I can defend The Dark Era because of how it explains Dazai’s connection with the mafia and why he switched sides. Dazai is easier to get away with focusing on because he is a primary character, although not the protagonist, and probably has some of the most influence on our true protagonist out of all the characters we know. Chuuya....doesn’t. At least, not yet. His backstory, while interesting and fun to see, is inconsequential to where our protagonist is at right now in the story. In fact, I’m not even sure if Atsushi and Chuuya have interacted in the anime aside from that standoff in the hospital hallway- and even then, that was an illusion. While Fifteen gave us a glimpse to Dazai’s life in the mafia, it didn’t give us anything we didn’t already know other than how he met Chuuya, and how he met Chuuya didn’t impact his relationship much with him or explain why he hates him so much- they just kind of always did. (what would you call that? Anti-chemistry?) That means it also didn’t really impact the major decisions Dazai had to make to get to where he was when he found Atsushi- which is when he began to matter, because that’s when he started influencing the world of the protagonist who is supposed to drive our experience through the narrative.

Please note, this isn’t a hate on Soukoku, and if you like Fifteen, or thought it fit, or just liked it because it gave you such good SKK content, I’m happy for you! This is just a personal grudge I have with the series.

This is why Fifteen would’ve stood better as an OVA- it doesn’t have anything to do with the protagonist. A core purpose of the protagonist in any story is to make the narrative relevant. The events of a story are connected because they pertain to the protagonist. Let’s take the Hunger Games as an example. The events of the actual game don’t relate at all to the death of the Everdeen father, or the fact that Primrose Everdeen was selected, or the fact that a certain Everdeen was given a pin of a mockingjay. These are all important because they relate to our protagonist, Katniss. Her father dying made her have to step up inthe household and feel responsible for her mother and sister’s safety, which helped prompt her to volunteer as tribute. Her pin later became the symbol of a revolution, but only because it was hers. If our protagonist had been Peeta, Katniss’ backstory with her father and mother and sister wouldn’t matter to us because it wouldn’t be our protagonist’s concern.

So, why, then, did we get 3 episodes of Chuuya’s backstory and 10 minutes (not even) of Atsushi’s? Hell, we got more of Kyouka’s backstory than Atsushi’s, or at least a better buildup to it. We even got more content of Randou, a character they completely screwed up (and also didn’t really affect Atsushi). I know events are tied together and connected, but when trying to fit an arc like Cannibalism into 12 30-minute episodes, you’ve gotta decide what’s important and what’s not.

Bones, I feel, didn’t choose what was most important.

“Alright, Kenna, all you’ve done is complain. I thought you said you liked season 3?”

That’s the thing, though- I did.

I like the time they spent with Lucy and Kyouka’s hostile interactions. I liked the background they gave to certain characters (Gin, Kyouka, Atsu [even though we got so little], Katai [-ish]) plus we got more Fyodor content. Fitzgerald’s episode was really good, too! I’m a newly-fledged, softcore Fitzgerald stan. I think the last three episodes were pretty well put together, and I ADORED the final scene (no, not just for the Dazatsu content- although thank you for the food, Bones uwu).

Now, these are all little things, yeah, but I feel together they make up enough for Fifteen on my end. See, I’ve always thought BSD had pacing issues from season 1. It’s no news to me that they had trouble squeezing all the content in the episodes they were given, to be honest. If I separate Fifteen from the rest of the season, to me, it’s cardinal sin is pacing, and only pacing. The issues of Fifteen are plentiful, but it doesn’t seem fair to me (and for me, it’s more than ok if you disagree) to pile that all on to the rest of the episodes. Yeah, it was disappointing that we didn’t get as much Fyodor time, or Atsu backstory time, or whatever else we wanted. But to me, that’s okay. We still got the point of what’s going on- the city is in trouble, the worst is yet to come, and Atsushi and Akutagawa have a deal now.

Bungo Stray Dogs has always appealed to me because of its characters more than its story, I connected with the people, not the narrative. I still thoroughly enjoy the story, but I’m more interested in how the characters interact in general and how they operate as a team or in stressful situations. For that purpose, Bones provided. At least they did in my book, even if we didn’t get enough of who we wanted to see.

I have hope for next season, if there is one. I have hope that Bones will right their wrongs. I have hopes that they’ll fix their pacing a little bit. The manga has so much content to portray, though, that a certain pacing issue can be forgiven (like the ones I saw in s1 and s2.) And, because I love the characters, I’m willing to hold out for another potential season and see if they can fix it.

If you’re upset, you have every reason to be. But, though I have my complaints, I can’t say I’m too terribly disappointed. Maybe a little, but I still look forward to future content. I hope we get it soon, if at all.

(And, believe it or not, this is the shortened version of all my thoughts. Haha!)

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #anime reaction #attempted meta #bsd spoilers #bsd season 3 spoilers #bsd season 3 #long post #orig

[blackandorange]

Since it's Chuuya's birthday could you please do a top 5 Chuuya's moments?

Of course my dear, what a perfect way to celebrate the birthday of my favorite character! 

1. When he used corruption. Well, of course. This episode (and the chapter) despite the soukokuness was all about Chuuya and, as tainted as they may be, it showed his true colors. I’m emotionally attached to Corruption because it’s the testament of how selfless Chuuya is, how he’s willing to sacrifice himself and putting his life in the hands of another person (that partner he hates so much) in a blink of an eye if this means saving someone or fulfilling a mission. Thinking about how many times he did that in the past physically pains me. He didn’t know if he could have trusted Dazai on this, Dazai could have left him to die this time, it could have been all a plan to force him to use Corruption and then take him out...and yet. And yet he trusted him, once more. Despite the betrayal, he will always trust him. WHAT THE FUCK. 

2. When he was ready to go against his orders to avenge his subordinates. Mori told him to bring Q back alive, but still Chuuya wasn’t going to stop Dazai. This shows how much Chuuya cares about his subordinates, how he doesn’t consider people as just pawns in his hands, how their deaths affected him more than he’s willing to show, how human and full of emotions he is. This moment speaks louder about what kind of person Chuuya is. He’s not an executive for nothing, he’s loyal and one of the most powerful members of the Mafia, but if you wrong someone under his direct protection, you’re dead to him. 

3. When he went to visit the ADA’s secret base. A moment in which I’m Kenji tbh. I LOVED HIM during this scene, everything was quite frankly iconic. Mori telling him that he has “enough force to crush the ADA” alone (HONESTLY), the flirting with Ranpo (wink wink manga readers the next chapter is gonna be GOOD), his overconfident attitude, the fact that Dazai canonically talks about Chuuya, “WHO WANTS TO FIGHT AGAINST GRAVITY” (*Katniss voice*: I VOLUNTEER AS A TRIBUTE), the fact that he did defeat the ADA alone with nothing but his manipulative skills. He does have so much strength, a strength that doesn’t lie just in his physical abilities. 

4. When the almost killed Dazai. As I already said in my top 5 soukoku moments, this is such a powerful moment, the cherry on top of a perfect introduction scene. You know I’m not the fondest person when it comes to Dazai, so for a split second I almost hoped for Chuuya to kill him regardless, but I already know he would have never done it for real. Still, I can’t help but think how liberating almost stabbing him in his throat must have been for Chuuya, he finally let out a little bit of a frustration that he had inside (that’s why he was there in the first place. After four years he’s still bugged by him, he still wants some sort of revenge, he still needs a closure Dazai is not willing to give him). But you can say you’ll kill him all you want, my little Chuuya, but will you really? I don’t think so because despite everything you still care and love him so much it’s almost painful to watch.

5. His every single appearance in the official art is my favorite moment, but this one surely takes the cake. This is such a relaxed version of Chuuya, without his signature clothes, his hat, his choker, his constantly worried and angry glare. He’s simply impossible to look away from. (WHERE IS THE MODELING CONTRACT THO)

- bonus: a special mention goes to bsd wan Chuuya, he’s simply the cutest (and the most relatable)

Thank you for your message!

Ask me my top 5 things!

#top 5 #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #this is so long I'm sorry I always end up talking a lot when it comest to Chuuya #Anonymous

[kbrown78]

Monthly Wrap Up: February

For being the shortest month of the year, I'm pleased that I was able to finish as many books as I did. I read a total of 9 books this month, however the vast majority of them were rereads, which is okay because I want to get through as many rereads as I can as quickly as possible. At some point during this month I started getting worried, because February is a good month for reading themed books (like romance, black history, and fairies)but eventually I settled on the fact that it was okay if I didn't read these books, mainly because I wanted to deal with tackling the TBR pile I have at home and I could read those books any time of the year. I don't go out of my way to read books that prominently feature romance, so why should I stress myself out over making an exception. I don't own any books with fairies in them that I haven't read, and there's only 2 that I'm interested and my library didn't have them. I could have read The Hate U Give and I've been wanting to read that one for awhile but the reason I keep putting it off is I'm scared that I'll be disappointed by it because of all the hype surrounding it (like I was for Children of Blood and Bone). I would like to try reading more books that fit the theme or topic or general atmosphere of the month, and I do have a few I plan to read on specific months (especially October) but for now I think it's okay for me to not stress myself to do something when I have other tasks that are a much higher priority (seriously I need to get through my reread TBR pile and push out more reviews). Anyway, I did make good progress through the big reading assignments. As I already stated, most of the books were rereads, but I was also able to tackle the half the books at the top of my TBR and continued to make progress in the reading challenges I'm doing (4 PopSugar prompts and 1 book that a friend of mine picked for me). This month had a pretty decent range of books, in genre, series, and ratings. There was 1 science fiction, 3 dystopian, 1 contemporary, and 4 fantasy (one of them being magical realism which is a fantasy genre I want to read more of). So while this month was leaning more toward fantasy, there was still a decent mix. Fortunately there were no 1 star books, but I did have a couple 2 star book and a lot of 3 star books, but I also had my first 5 star book of the year, which needless to say, I loved. I completed 1 series, started 3, and read 2 stand alones. All in all February was a good reading month, despite the lack of February themed books.  

Feed by Mira Grant: I initially picked this book up for several reasons. It's written by Mira Grant, which is a pen name for Seanan McGuire, and it's an unofficial goal of mine to read all of her books. It's science fiction, and I want to read more of that genre this year. This was supposed to feature zombies, and there wasn't going to be any romance. I had high hopes for this book, just based on my opinion of McGuire's books I read last year. Unfortunately I struggled with this book from the very first chapter.  My biggest issue was that I keep going into every zombie or post apocalyptic wanting it to be about human's struggling to survive but ultimately over coming the challenges. Basically a better version of the Walking Dead. Then when I read this novel, I'm extremely disappointed to find that zombies aren't only a minor part of society, they hardly come off as a threat during the entire thing. Also the fact that a post zombie apocalypse world (which is somehow more advance than our current society) was used as the setting for mystery surrounding the coverage of a presidential election didn't mesh very well. Seriously having an urban fantasy setting would have worked much better with this stories. I discussed in my monthly wrap up review of An Alchemy of Masques and Mirrors that I really disliked when I can easily guess the mastermind behind all the chaos before the characters do, and that applies to this novel. As a suspenseful mystery, this just didn't work at all. I also wasn't attached to the characters, they felt like archetypes that weren't really expanded on. By the end of this novel I was ready for things to be over with and fortunately this can be a self contained standalone, so I don't plan on continuing the series. I'll still give McGuire's other series a try, but this one I found to be a let down. Feed received 2 out 5 stars.  

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: So The Hunger Games series was at the top of my list for book's on my TBR. Last year, since my sister was reading The Hunger Games for school, I thought it would be good to go reread it and tag it so I can do a full review on it. I hadn't read the books since high school, but I've seen the movies more recently (since they're shown all the time on TV). I wanted to see if this first in particular is as good as I remember it and how I think it compares to the movies, and I gotta say, I am so glad I read this book. I'm sorry but with the first movie at least, it doesn't even compare to the books. For those that haven't read the series or watched the movies, The Hunger Games is a dystopian series set in a futuristic North America where the country is divided into 12 districts and a capitol, and every year the districts must give one boy and girl to compete in a televised competition, killing each other off until 1 is left. Katniss Everdean from District 12 volunteers in place of her sister and things take off from there. It's a fast paced, action driven book, and while Katniss isn't always a likable protagonist, she's very human. I was surprised by how invested I got in the romance too, because romance isn't my thing, yet I found Katniss and Peeta's dynamic to be compelling. There's also so much more depth to this book then the movie gives it credit for. It takes a stab at political commentary, reality shows, and fashion crazes very well, which is what I think will really make it a modern classic. Much like Harry Potter and Twilight it was a trend setter, especially for YA novels, and while many have tried to replicate it, none have succeeded. I'll absolutely do a full review of this book once I'm done with the entire series. The Hunger Games received 5 out 5 stars and works for the PopSugar prompt “book with 1 million ratings on Goodreads.”  

Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira: I come away from this book not knowing exactly where I stand with it. It's a sad story that's does convey a message of hope and recovery, but I don't love it and I don't find myself attached to it. I think I like the writing itself and what the story tries to convey better than the story itself. Starting out I really hated the story. Laurel, the protagonist, was devoid of personality and lived to basically be a clone of her recently deceased sister. I didn't like the side characters, because they're supposed to be the cool kids but don't feel developed much outside of their toxic elements.  There was some tropes used that made the story and characters feel a bit pretentious (which was really annoying). I also really disliked the romance, between Sky and Laurel (although I had issues with Hannah and Natalie's too) because Sky is portrayed as this brooding bad boy who is so perfect. While he isn't a jerk (which is good), he is pretty flawed and at the start of the book Laurel doesn't come off as ready for a romance. Yet she idealizes him and which is something she clearly does with her older sister May. I still think there shouldn't have been a romance, but I do think things improved overall by the end of the book. Mostly that Laurel came to terms with her trauma, realized that people (even the ones you love) are flawed and dealing with their own issues, and communication is an important part of healing. Laurel started opening up to her parents more and became an active part of her group of friends. I know this book is heavily influenced by The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and it shows both in the writing format (written as letters to deceased celebrities) but also in the narrative. It's good to read a book that deals with serious issues yet still manages to give a wholesome and realistic conclusion (something I rarely see in contemporary fiction, and something that I don't think Perks of Being a Wallflower did which is why I prefer this one). Speaking of dealing with serious issues, this was a heavy book for me. For the majority of this book, I was very uncomfortable by the content, which could be the desired reaction, but there were several scenes that rubbed me the wrong way. The first time Natalie and Hannah are caught kissing by Laurel, one of them forces a kiss on her to make everything seem normal. There's an attempted date rape scene later in the book. There's physical abuse, teenage girls dating adult men, and pedophilia. Again it's a heavy book, and if you are at all triggered by that, or struggled with Perks of Being a Wallflower, I would put this book on hold. I wish that there were more realistic books out there for teenagers that don't have the main plot either revolving around a romance or recovering from rape. There's a lot more to life than just that and there are other hardships out there that don't involve sexual abuse. Writing this had made me realize just how mixed my feelings are on this book, which actually makes it a great book for discussion. I may do a full review of this book just so I can have a more in depth discussion on all my thoughts and feelings on this book, but I can't guarantee it and I don't think it will come any time soon (since I am way behind on my book reviews). That being said I can't give it a high rating based solely on it's writing and messages it conveys because I think there are several points where the execution was weak. Love Letters to the Dead received 3.5 out 5 stars and was my pick for the PopSugar prompts “book with 'love' in the title” and “a book with unusual chapter headings.”

Age of Myth by Michael J. Sullivan: I bought this book at the same I got Feed, and considering the fact that I was disappointed by Feed I was hoping that this book would be an improvement. While this was better, I still found it not meeting my prior expectations. It's a traditional epic fantasy that has a few twists to them, but there are also several generic elements. For the first third the book didn't progress in the way I expected too, which made me want to continue and see where things go. Then the story started to progress in a way I find incredibly frustrating, which is that characters do reckless and stupid things and must then deal with the consequences of that. The plot is moving forward, but in a positive way. The character where this is most applicable is Persephone. I wanted to like her, and I got glimpses of her that I did really like, which made the rest of her narrative all the more frustrating. She's incredibly naive (despite the evidence of her being a wise ruler) believing people aren't capable of bad deeds (again despite blatant evidence otherwise), and while she's the one who comes up with the plans, she never wants to be the one to implement them. Suri and Arion were both interesting but the story didn't focus enough on them for me to feel strongly about them. Raithe was quickly pushed to the side, serving little purpose to the narrative other than being the “God Killer,” which I was actually a little surprised by since I'm so used to seeing this kind of story be led by males. The friendships in this book are amazing and were without a doubt my favorite part of it. The story itself is very straight forward and surprisingly simple, but there bits that lay the ground work for a series long conflict, especially what's revealed in the last two pages. However, two pages of amazing epilogue isn't enough to compensate for the rest of the story. Age of Myth received 3.5 out 5 stars.  

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins: My memories of this book are that it was not as good as The Hunger Games and upon rereading I definitely still hold that opinion. There are some things that I remember having the same feelings about and there are some new developments. The word that, both in the past and currently, I would use to describe this book is oddly, boring. For a high octane story with mounting rebellions and a Battle Royale style game would be a suspenseful quick read, but it really wasn't. I think this is due to Katniss' passive nature in this book, and the fact that the games aren't going until somewhere between the last half and third of the book. The other thing that remained the same was that I am totally Team Peeta. When first reading this series I wanted Katniss to end up with Peeta, but I couldn't tell you why. Then rereading The Hunger Games, I was swept away by Katniss and Peeta's romance, and this book just solidified why I approve of Peeta over Gale. What really impressed me about the previous book was how much discussion there was in that book that can be applied to our current society. This book shifts to focus more on the rebellion, and it's not one of the better written ones because everything is so simplistic and Katniss is merely an observer with little information and no desire to be apart of it, even though that's the direction she's going to have to take. Also in the previous Katniss felt like a more complex character. Granted she didn't have a ton of depth but she is least felt like more than someone that existed to move the narrative forward. I knew going into this book it was probably going to be my least favorite of the series and I do think it struggled to live up to the narrative that the previous book set up. I wouldn't say it's a bad book though, just would have liked a little more action and a little more depth. Catching Fire received 3 out 5 stars from me.  

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins: Wow, this was definitely a series that went out with a bang. I still don't think Mockingjay is quite as good as The Hunger Games but it has a much better narrative than Catching Fire, at least in the later half. First and foremost, this is a really depressing book. Like there were multiple times I was on the verge of crying, with Peeta and Katniss' relationship, all of Katniss' trauma and all the character deaths. It is so sad. But there's a lot about this story that I appreciate now that I didn't when I first read this book. War is devastating and costly, and while I think the over all rebellion itself could have been more nuanced, this book did show that it's easy for a dictatorship to rise from the ashes of the previous one. I still don't really like Katniss, but man, is it hard to not at least be sympathetic to her with all the crap that she has been through and all the damage her body has received. This is a series where you don't want to get to attached to the side characters because anyone can die, but most of them I still find to be a bit more likable than Katniss (albeit a little underdeveloped). I loved, absolutely loved Peeta and Katniss' romance and even when first reading this book I was moved by how their relationship turned out. The story itself within this book is a bit boring at first, again because Katniss is being kept in a very confined, minimal role, but also because of her trauma leaves her in a hazy state. Once she becomes more active the story gets better, but things really take off when she goes on the mission in the Capitol. It's a quick scene but I remember getting very anxious when watching that part in the movies. The ending is a bit rushed because things seem to just happen quickly, but from a literary stand point it's a good tragic ending. Despite the rushed ending, it has a hopeful feel to it, as the characters slowly recover from the horrors they've endured and continue to honor the memory of those that have passed. The Hunger Games is not a series without it's faults, but it's a series that I highly commend it for what it is and enjoyed it on a personal level. Mockingjay received 4 out 5 stars from me.    

The Devourers by Indra Daas: Going into this book, I didn't know much about it outside of the synopsis and a few trigger warnings. One of my best friends picked this book for me as part of a monthly “Pick It For Me” challenge in one of my Goodreads group, and I had basically no expectations for this book. After finishing it, I enjoyed it, I'm glad I read it, but I don't think it's a book that had a significant impact on me and isn't one I'm going to think about often. That is due to mostly the writing style itself. The story is a magical realism that is written in a way that feels similar to stream of conscious, thus making it hard to tell what is truth versus speculation and even hard to say whose view point it is and even when the story is occurring. Things just exist as they are, and while this is good for evoking emotions it doesn't produce something that lingers (at least for me). So what the story is essentially about is a history professor that is approached by a man who claims to be half were wolf and commissions him to transcribe two scrolls. I was a little shaken in the beginning, both by the writing style and the mix of an Indian setting with Norse mythology. So it was a rocky start, but once I got used to it I finally found myself enjoying the story, up until the end when things get kind of weird and a little vague. My favorite part of the book was definitely the scroll's, mainly the woman's, because those were the sections that best discussed the themes of humanity, history, love, and family, which is what the book is essentially about. I will say that the trigger warnings for rape and gore are relevant because both are major parts of the story and the storytelling itself, so one should be aware of that before going into this book. As more time passes from when I finished this book, I find myself remembering less and less. It's a decent, atmospheric story but I find myself wishing it had been either a little shorter or longer, so that the story could really stick with me. The Devourer's received 4 out 5 stars and was my pick for the PopSugar prompt “book by an author from Africa, Asia, or South America” (the author is from Kolkata, India, where the contemporary part of the book is set).  

The Naming by Allison Croggon: So this series, the Books of Pellinor, and the Inheritance Cycle were the epic fantasy series that I grew up on. The best way to sum up this series, and especially the first book, is Lord of Rings but with a female lead. While that may make it sound awesome, I actually struggled with this book, which is kind of surprising considering how much I loved it as a kid. There was a lot of filler in this book. It's all basically one long journey with a few meetings and attacks along the way. This results in the books pacing just dragging, to the point where I started skimming because I have 3 more books to get through, and I want to get through this series as soon as possible. Another thing I had an issue with, and this might be a surprise, but I didn't like how similar this was to Lord of the Rings (mixed with the Chosen One trope done poorly). I'm not going to go into everything here but there were several points throughout the book where I could pin point the exact similarities between this book and at least the Fellowship of the Ring. I like Lord of the Rings, but when I read a story where the only original elements are poorly done tropes, it's more than a little frustrating. To Croggon's credit, she did try to create a more egalitarian society and put a female lead in a normally male narrative, which I do appreciate. This book also had no romance which was refreshing, although the one romantic scene in this book left me rather uncomfortable. It was disappointing for a beloved book from my early teen years to fall from grace, and while I haven't even gotten to what had been my least favorite book in the series, there's still hope that the series improves. The Naming received 2.5 out 5 stars and is my pick for the PopSugar prompt “a book you think should be turned into a movie” because I think if put in the right hands, this book can be translated onto a good movie.    

The Riddle by Alison Croggon: I'm a little surprised I ended up liking this a bit better than The Naming, but I think that's due to the fact that this book was a bit more nuanced. It's still similar in format to the previous book, namely being about a journey to defeat a returning evil with a lot of filler, but there's more major plot points, and some of those have the protagonist Maerad staying in one location for awhile. The reason I like this is because those points take the time to develop either the characters or the nature of the conflict itself. I liked the beginning, with Maerad having a normal life in Busk, and the last third, when she is imprisoned by the Winter King. There is also a turning point in the middle, where Cadavan (Maerad's mentor) questions her morality (although there was no precedence for that and I think Cadavan overreacted in that instance). I will also say that Croggon does put a lot of effort into her world building. It happens a lot in fantasy where authors want to create a Middle Earth type of setting, but don't put forth the effort to have the same depth that Tolkein did. Croggon does not do that, which I like, but I feel like I only get to see glimpses (due to the constantly moving narrative). Even at the end of this book I still don't really like Maerad as a character. She isn't as whiny or annoying as she was at the beginning of the first book, but I still really dislike her blatantly being the “Chosen One” and being an OP Special Snowflake. She also comes off as not having a much of personality. There's her being a musician, the Chosen One, and this amazingly powerful Bard, and that's really all there is to her. I'm glad that this book improved from the first one, although not by much, which makes me think that this series is ultimately going to be a let down for me. Shame. The Riddle received 3 out 5 stars.

Thank You Everyone

Keep Calm and Keep Reading

#monthly wrap up #books #review #the hunger games #suzanne collins #love letters to the dead #ava dellaira #the devourers #indra das #mira grant #newsflesh #michael j. sullivan #legends of the first empire #age of myth #alison croggon #book of pellinor #the naming #the riddle

[masquad-fanfics]

The Quarter Quell - Finnick Odair

The tension in the atmosphere was the most noticeable feeling. It was heavy, somehow, making us weaker and weaker the closer we got to our destination. It seemed as if a hand had taken a grip of our very souls, strangling them. At the same time anger, which was formed by our impotence, was the other main impulse. After going through hell once in each of our Games and making it out alive, the last thing any of us wanted was to go back. And that was exactly the Capitol's idea. With the Quarter Quell they decided to have, for the third time, a special version of the Hunger Games. This time, the ones killing each other would be the winners from past years. The ones who were assured a life, the ones who were promised a mildly calm existence had to suffer again, as their families went back to their cries and prayers while the rich enjoyed the show.

With these thoughts in mind we reached the plaza in which the Capitol set the platform where the tributes are chosen, but this time we were way less. Effie was already waiting there, with yet another extravagant dress and expensive makeup. Though this time she wasn't smiling brightly like she did every year. Guess she doesn't think it's fair either. I looked around me. We were around seven, four girls and three boys, if we didn't count all the Peacekeepers surrounding us. None of the other boys were too relevant to me, but the girls were a whole different topic. Apart from a woman in her 30s I had barely ever talked to, Annie and Maggs were there, as well as (y/n).

We didn't watch the video praising Panem. There was no need to try to brainwash us. We already knew the truth about the place we lived in, we knew how corrupted it was, and we hated all of it to such an extent, that if they had tried to make us watch that video we would've probably raged at them. There was no kind of speech either, just straight up to the topic.

"Ladies first." Said Effie approaching to the crystal recipient to her left. Reaching out to get one of the neatly folded papers, she took her time to choose, finally getting the one on top. Slowly making her way back to the mic, she unfolded it and read the name out loud. "Annie Cresta." We all turned to where she was. The panic was easily visible in her whole expression. She couldn't go there. She'd had, by far, the worst recovery. Barely anyone knew what had happened in her Games, but it had to be horrible for it to affect her so badly. I looked at Maggs and I could sense that she was going to volunteer so Annie didn't have to go. She was old, but her courage never faded. Even when knowing that she had no chance of surviving due to her age she was willing to risk it. Right when Maggs was about to speak another voice silenced her.

"I volunteer." We all now turned to look at the new source, and saw with amusement that (y/n) was the one that had spoken.Effie nodded slowly. "Right. (y/n) (y/l/n), is that correct?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Come up here then, please." I watched as (y/n) walked up the stairs and nervously stood by Effie's side. "Now with the boys." She proceeded saying. She followed the same ritual as she had done with the girls, and cleared her throat just before opening the small paper. "Finnick Odair." I felt everyone staring at me. I had to go back. Fight once again. Revive all the memories I had been able to bury over time. I wanted to wait a little longer and watch as one of the other boys volunteered for me. But firstly, I knew that wasn't going to happen, and secondly, for some reason I felt the urge to be with (y/n) during this. At least I'd be able to make sure that if someone had to make it out alive it'd be her. I went to stand to Effie's right and after some short encouraging words we were done. It took us about 10 minutes to say our goodbyes, and in less than an hour we were ready to get on the train and leave.

    *time skip.*

"You didn't have to do it. Maggs was already going to volunteer. Why did you then?" I asked after nearly a whole day of travelling. We had barely talked until now. Not that it estranged me, our situation wasn't the best. It took (y/n) a couple of minutes to give an answer. "She could never make it, I... I might have a chance."

I nodded. Again, I was lost in my own thoughts. I didn't feel like talking about our destination, about what we thought would happen. For some reason, I couldn't come up with any witty comment to easen the situation like I always do. Who knows, it might be because of her.

(y/n) and I had a quite special relationship. She was slightly younger than me, maybe two years. She had her Games a few years after I did, and just like me, she was quite young. Maybe that was the reason for her to come up to me when she had some problems after the Games. I felt like I could trust her right away. She told all that the Capitol had starting doing to her and I told her all that they did to me too. No one apart from each other knew, and it felt great been able to share these secrets. It made them a bit less difficult to deal with. Maybe because of our closeness I was able to truly express myself, not having to hide my feelings under an I-don't-care façade.

My thoughts didn't divert from (y/n). I preferred to focus in remembering all the good things we've been through. At least to avoid picturing the few days of life we probably had ahead. Last time this happened I thought that maybe I stood a chance. That I could somehow win. And so I did. I could now be convincing myself with those same thoughts, but they just wouldn't work. Not only I was going to fight other winners, which would make things incredibly difficult, but (y/n) was here now, meaning that if I were to survive, she wouldn't. And that was the last thing I wanted.

    *time skip*

The period of living in the Training Centre was more interesting than I imagined. Some of us were reunited without the Capitol's knowledge to learn about a revelion that was being planned and to ask us whether we wanted to help. I answered yes without hesitating. If there was some way of defeating Snow, then I'd try it. (y/n) also knew about it, and was willing to help as well. This was both good and bad for me, since she now wouldn't mind risking her life in the arena. Oh well, it's not like I could do much at the moment. The most will be to make sure I protect her from protecting that Katniss girl, while I also make sure to protect Katniss. Wow, so much protection.

The following days went on without too much activity. There was little interaction among the tributes, and I only talked with another two or three apart from (y/n). It was easy to see that we had all been victors, having many, specially the ones from the usually winning districts, not exactly friendly. Still, even those weren't precisely happy of coming back. They had earned their glory once, and they probably weren't looking forward to losing it. If only they knew the actual plan many of us really had in mind.

   *time skip*

In two weeks time the Games were ready to begin. We had done a great job in the interviews expressing our discomfort and with the last scene of the 24 tributes holding hands. Cinna also did incredibly with Katniss' dress by having it transform into a mockingjay. And (y/n)'s stylist too. I mean, she looked gorgeous. Which reminds me, living everyday with her for the past weeks has only made me think more and more about her. And that's actually the whole opposite of what I wanted to happen. If I had to focus on the Games and on the rebellion's plan, last thing I need was for my thoughts to be about nothing but (y/n). I guess I'd have to find a way not to have (y/n) clouding my thoughts.

We were now on the last minutes we had before the Games. The last minutes I had to be with (y/n) before we saw each other in the arena. I was beyond nervous, even more than in my first time, and that could just be because I was nervous for (y/n) rather than for myself. We had some time to talk, but it was basically me telling her to be careful.

"Don't get anything, okay? I'll go to the Cornucopia and grab my weapon and yours, and luckily one of the backpacks." I said.

"Finnick, I can do one of those things. I'm not useless. I survived once, I can perfectly go to the Cornucopia and make it out alive."

"I know, I know. But I insist, I wouldn't want to risk you getting hurt when I can do it all myself."

"Who assures you wouldn't die? There's same chances for both of us."

"As long as you're alive I won't mind. I'm aware we have to protect Katniss, but I also don't want you to lose your life for nothing."

"You won't get rid of me that easily."

"I really hope I don't."

An officer came in the room right then, interrupting our conversation. "It's time to leave." Were his only words and he left the room right away. Another two soldiers entered and stood by the door, waiting to escort us.

"This is it then." I mumbled, and (y/n) only answered by nodding. "Be careful. Try not to die."

"Same goes for you." She chuckled, trying to ease the tension that had built up. I leaned down slightly and hugged her tightly, enjoying the last moments of peace we'd probably have I a long season. She hugged back just as tight. I could feel her shivering slightly, giving away that she was actually scared about the upcoming events, which to be fair I was scared too. We knew we didn't have time left and she released herself from my arms. She smiled weakly to gain some confidence and walked out of the room, following the guard, just as I did right afterwards.

   ~ ~ ~

The light blinded me once appeared in the arena. Once my eyes adjusted I was quite confused with my surroundings: our platforms were placed on the water, and the Cornucopia was another island, right in the middle. There were 12 radial sectors which segmented it, but none of them reached our locations, meaning our only way to reach it was swimming. I wasn't going to complain about that, it made things easier both for me and for (y/n). The countdown started and this I prepared to jump into the water.

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

I dived into the cold water. As much as I'd try, there'd be no way for me to remember the events some time later. Everything that  happened was crazy and hectic. Before I knew it I was far enough from the bloodbath, with my trident in hand and (y/n), Katniss and Peeta by my side.

We advanced through the jungle, trying to find the safest place where we could rest without worrying about the other tributes and thankfully the threats found around us. Regardless of having escaped from the bloodbath only hours ago not much was going on, which felt strange for a Quarter Quell. I kept myself at full vigilance constantly, but what was about to occur wasn't something I was prepared for. We happened to be advancing towards the end of the arena. (y/n) must've noticed, maybe she saw something in the space ahead that marked the border, but Katniss failed to see that. She would've walked right into it if it wasn't for (y/n). She shouted her name, but that wasn't fast enough, so the only solution was for her to leap towards Katniss and push her to the side, making (y/n) hit the force field. The strength with which she hit it sent her flying back. I was behind her, so the impact sent her right into me, making me fall but also giving me the chance to secure her. 

The sudden shock of the situation was soon replaced by a mixture of fear and concern, as I propped myself up to be a able to get a glance of how she was. Her eyes were closed tightly, a frown showing in her features. The side of her which had hit the force field was slightly burnt, but she didn’t suffer any serious bruises. I lightly shook her as I called her to wake up, but it wasn’t working. Panic washed over me when I realized that she could actually be dead. The rational part of me which was still working unconsciously guided me to give her any first aid help I possibly knew. After the longest five minutes of my life, and when I swore I felt like a canyon was about to be heard, (y/n)’s eyes shot open, and she started coughing. Never had I felt happier than right then, seeing her safe when only seconds ago we were about to give up any hope of her waking up. Once her fit of coughs ended I embraced her as tightly as I could, as if I was scared that if I didn’t hold her just as close she’d be gone again. Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes, and I didn’t try to contain them.

“You scared me so much.” I managed to say with a shaky voice. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“You won’t get rid of me that easily for now.”

“Why did you do it?” I moved to make eye contact, cupping her cheeks.

“It’s what we were told to do.” She whispered, for both Katniss and the cameras surrounding us not to hear her. “To keep her alive with our own lives.”

I sighed. “I promised myself that I’d protect you.”

“But what about Ka-”

“Katniss? I’ll keep her safe too, but as long as you are in trouble I won’t hesitate to help you first.”

“Why?” Her question took me by surprise. Why? Why was I willing to save her so eagerly? Because she was my friend. Because I care about her. “Because I love you.” I suddenly blurted out. That was the actual reason, but I didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t come up with any way to try to make her forget I ever said those words, so followed my instinct and leaned in to kiss her. I felt her lips tense against mine, making me question if it was a good idea to have done that, but in a few moments she relaxed and kissed back. My left hand travelled to the back of her neck as I tangled my fingers with her (y/h/c) locks. I was needy, to feel her close, to make sure she’d be by my side no matter what happened. I suddenly became aware of where we were, and pulled back, breathing heavily. (y/n) only smiled. She didn’t need to say anything, we had understood each other perfectly with that kiss. I returned the smile encouragingly. “Now that the emotional matter has been cleared out, let’s finish up this hell.”

#The Hunger Games #catching fire #mockingjay #finnick odair #thg cast #thg fanfiction #thg imagine #thg one shot #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair one shot #finnick odair fanfiction #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #annie cresta #maggs #quarter quell #75 hunger games

[readbookywooks]

17 Blindsided. That's how I feel when Haymitch tells me in the hospital. I fly down the steps to Command, mind racing a mile a minute, and burst right into a war meeting. "What do you mean, I'm not going to the Capitol? I have to go! I'm the Mockingjay!" I say. Coin barely looks up from her screen. "And as the Mockingjay, your primary goal of unifying the districts against the Capitol has been achieved. Don't worry - if it goes well, we'll fly you in for the surrender." The surrender? "That'll be too late! I'll miss all the fighting. You need me - I'm the best shot you've got!" I shout. I don't usually brag about this, but it's got to be at least close to true. "Gale's going." "Gale has shown up for training every day unless occupied with other approved duties. We feel confident he can manage himself in the field," says Coin. "How many training sessions do you estimate you've attended?" None. That's how many. "Well, sometimes I was hunting. And...I trained with Beetee down in Special Weaponry." "It's not the same, Katniss," says Boggs. "We all know you're smart and brave and a good shot. But we need soldiers in the field. You don't know the first thing about executing orders, and you're not exactly at your physical peak." "That didn't bother you when I was in Eight. Or Two, for that matter," I counter. "You weren't originally authorized for combat in either case," says Plutarch, shooting me a look that signals I'm about to reveal too much. No, the bomber battle in 8 and my intervention in 2 were spontaneous, rash, and definitely unauthorized. "And both resulted in your injury," Boggs reminds me. Suddenly, I see myself through his eyes. A smallish seventeen-year-old girl who can't quite catch her breath since her ribs haven't fully healed. Disheveled. Undisciplined. Recuperating. Not a soldier, but someone who needs to be looked after. "But I have to go," I say. "Why?" asks Coin. I can't very well say it's so I can carry out my own personal vendetta against Snow. Or that the idea of remaining here in 13 with the latest version of Peeta while Gale goes off to fight is unbearable. But I have no shortage of reasons to want to fight in the Capitol. "Because of Twelve. Because they destroyed my district." The president thinks about this a moment. Considers me. "Well, you have three weeks. It's not long, but you can begin training. If the Assignment Board deems you fit, possibly your case will be reviewed." That's it. That's the most I can hope for. I guess it's my own fault. I did blow off my schedule every single day unless something suited me. It didn't seem like much of a priority, jogging around a field with a gun with so many other things going on. And now I'm paying for my negligence. Back in the hospital, I find Johanna in the same circumstance and spitting mad. I tell her about what Coin said. "Maybe you can train, too." "Fine. I'll train. But I'm going to the stinking Capitol if I have to kill a crew and fly there myself," says Johanna. "Probably best not to bring that up in training," I say. "But it's nice to know I'll have a ride." Johanna grins, and I feel a slight but significant shift in our relationship. I don't know that we're actually friends, but possibly the wordallies would be accurate. That's good. I'm going to need an ally. The next morning, when we report for training at 7:30, reality slaps me in the face. We've been funneled into a class of relative beginners, fourteen- or fifteen-year-olds, which seems a little insulting until it's obvious that they're in far better condition than we are. Gale and the other people already chosen to go to the Capitol are in a different, accelerated phase of training. After we stretch - which hurts - there's a couple of hours of strengthening exercises - which hurt - and a five-mile run - which kills. Even with Johanna's motivational insults driving me on, I have to drop out after a mile. "It's my ribs," I explain to the trainer, a no-nonsense middle-aged woman we're supposed to address as Soldier York. "They're still bruised." "Well, I'll tell you, Soldier Everdeen, those are going to take at least another month to heal up on their own," she says. I shake my head. "I don't have a month." She looks me up and down. "The doctors haven't offered you any treatment?" "Is there a treatment?" I ask. "They said they had to mend naturally." "That's what they say. But they could speed up the process if I recommend it. I warn you, though, it isn't any fun," she tells me. "Please. I've got to get to the Capitol," I say. Soldier York doesn't question this. She scribbles something on a pad and sends me directly back to the hospital. I hesitate. I don't want to miss any more training. "I'll be back for the afternoon session," I promise. She just purses her lips. Twenty-four needle jabs to my rib cage later, I'm flattened out on my hospital bed, gritting my teeth to keep from begging them to bring back my morphling drip. It's been by my bed so I can take a hit as needed. I haven't used it lately, but I kept it for Johanna's sake. Today they tested my blood to make sure it was clean of the painkiller, as the mixture of the two drugs - the morphling and whatever's set my ribs on fire - has dangerous side effects. They made it clear I would have a difficult couple of days. But I told them to go ahead. It's a bad night in our room. Sleep's out of the question. I think I can actually smell the ring of flesh around my chest burning, and Johanna's fighting off withdrawal symptoms. Early on, when I apologize about cutting off her morphling supply, she waves it off, saying it had to happen anyway. But by three in the morning, I'm the target of every colorful bit of profanity District 7 has to offer. At dawn, she drags me out of bed, determined to get to training. "I don't think I can do it," I confess. "You can do it. We both can. We're victors, remember? We're the ones who can survive anything they throw at us," she snarls at me. She's a sick greenish color, shaking like a leaf. I get dressed. We must be victors to make it through the morning. I think I'm going to lose Johanna when we realize it's pouring outside. Her face turns ashen and she seems to have ceased breathing. "It's just water. It won't kill us," I say. She clenches her jaw and stomps out into the mud. Rain drenches us as we work our bodies and then slog around the running course. I bail after a mile again, and I have to resist the temptation to take off my shirt so the cold water can sizzle off my ribs. I force down my field lunch of soggy fish and beet stew. Johanna gets halfway through her bowl before it comes back up. In the afternoon, we learn to assemble our guns. I manage it, but Johanna can't hold her hands steady enough to fit the parts together. When York's back is turned, I help her out. Even though the rain continues, the afternoon's an improvement because we're on the shooting range. At last, something I'm good at. It takes some adjusting from a bow to a gun, but by the end of the day, I've got the best score in my class. We're just inside the hospital doors when Johanna declares, "This has to stop. Us living in the hospital. Everyone views us as patients." It's not a problem for me. I can move into our family compartment, but Johanna's never been assigned one. When she tries to get discharged from the hospital, they won't agree to let her live alone, even if she comes in for daily talks with the head doctor. I think they may have put two and two together about the morphling and this only adds to their view that she's unstable. "She won't be alone. I'm going to room with her," I announce. There's some dissent, but Haymitch takes our part, and by bedtime, we have a compartment across from Prim and my mother, who agrees to keep an eye on us. After I take a shower, and Johanna sort of wipes herself down with a damp cloth, she makes a cursory inspection of the place. When she opens the drawer that holds my few possessions, she shuts it quickly. "Sorry." I think how there's nothing in Johanna's drawer but her government-issued clothes. That she doesn't have one thing in the world to call her own. "It's okay. You can look at my stuff if you want." Johanna unlatches my locket, studying the pictures of Gale, Prim, and my mother. She opens the silver parachute and pulls out the spile and slips it onto her pinkie. "Makes me thirsty just looking at it." Then she finds the pearl Peeta gave me. "Is this - ?" "Yeah," I say. "Made it through somehow." I don't want to talk about Peeta. One of the best things about training is, it keeps me from thinking of him. "Haymitch says he's getting better," she says. "Maybe. But he's changed," I say. "So have you. So have I. And Finnick and Haymitch and Beetee. Don't get me started on Annie Cresta. The arena messed us all up pretty good, don't you think? Or do you still feel like the girl who volunteered for your sister?" she asks me. "No," I answer. "That's the one thing I think my head doctor might be right about. There's no going back. So we might as well get on with things." She neatly returns my keepsakes to the drawer and climbs into the bed across from me just as the lights go out. "You're not afraid I'll kill you tonight?" "Like I couldn't take you," I answer. Then we laugh, since both our bodies are so wrecked, it will be a miracle if we can get up the next day. But we do. Each morning, we do. And by the end of the week, my ribs feel almost like new, and Johanna can assemble her rifle without help. Soldier York gives the pair of us an approving nod as we knock off for the day. "Fine job, Soldiers." When we move out of hearing, Johanna mutters, "I think winning the Games was easier." But the look on her face says she's pleased. In fact, we're almost in good spirits when we go to the dining hall, where Gale's waiting to eat with me. Receiving a giant serving of beef stew doesn't hurt my mood either. "First shipments of food arrived this morning," Greasy Sae tells me. "That's real beef, from District Ten. Not any of your wild dog." "Don't remember you turning it down," Gale tosses back. We join a group that includes Delly, Annie, and Finnick. It's something to see Finnick's transformation since his marriage. His earlier incarnations - the decadent Capitol heartthrob I met before the Quell, the enigmatic ally in the arena, the broken young man who tried to help me hold it together - these have been replaced by someone who radiates life. Finnick's real charms of self-effacing humor and an easygoing nature are on display for the first time. He never lets go of Annie's hand. Not when they walk, not when they eat. I doubt he ever plans to. She's lost in some daze of happiness. There are still moments when you can tell something slips in her brain and another world blinds her to us. But a few words from Finnick call her back. Delly, who I've known since I was little but never gave much thought to, has grown in my estimation. She was told what Peeta said to me that night after the wedding, but she's not a gossip. Haymitch says she's the best defender I have when Peeta goes off on some kind of tear about me. Always taking my side, blaming his negative perceptions on the Capitol's torture. She has more influence on him than any of the others do, because he really does know her. Anyway, even if she's sugarcoating my good points, I appreciate it. Frankly, I could use a little sugarcoating. I'm starving and the stew is so delicious - beef, potatoes, turnips, and onions in a thick gravy - that I have to force myself to slow down. All around the dining hall, you can feel the rejuvenating effect that a good meal can bring on. The way it can make people kinder, funnier, more optimistic, and remind them it's not a mistake to go on living. It's better than any medicine. So I try to make it last and join in the conversation. Sop up the gravy on my bread and nibble on it as I listen to Finnick telling some ridiculous story about a sea turtle swimming off with his hat. Laugh before I realize he's standing there. Directly across the table, behind the empty seat next to Johanna. Watching me. I choke momentarily as the gravy bread sticks in my throat. "Peeta!" says Delly. "It's so nice to see you out...and about." Two large guards stand behind him. He holds his tray awkwardly, balanced on his fingertips since his wrists are shackled with a short chain between them. "What's with the fancy bracelets?" asks Johanna. "I'm not quite trustworthy yet," says Peeta. "I can't even sit here without your permission." He indicates the guards with his head. "Sure he can sit here. We're old friends," says Johanna, patting the space beside her. The guards nod and Peeta takes a seat. "Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams." Annie, who's on Johanna's other side, does that thing where she covers her ears and exits reality. Finnick shoots Johanna an angry look as his arm encircles Annie. "What? My head doctor says I'm not supposed to censor my thoughts. It's part of my therapy," replies Johanna. The life has gone out of our little party. Finnick murmurs things to Annie until she slowly removes her hands. Then there's a long silence while people pretend to eat. "Annie," says Delly brightly, "did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home, his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing." Annie cautiously looks across Johanna. "Thank you, Peeta. It was beautiful." "My pleasure, Annie," says Peeta, and I hear that old note of gentleness in his voice that I thought was gone forever. Not that it's directed at me. But still. "If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go," Finnick tells her. He arranges both of their trays so he can carry them in one hand while holding tightly to her with the other. "Good seeing you, Peeta." "You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you." It could be a joke, if the tone wasn't so cold. Everything it conveys is wrong. The open distrust of Finnick, the implication that Peeta has his eye on Annie, that Annie could desert Finnick, that I do not even exist. "Oh, Peeta," says Finnick lightly. "Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart." He leads Annie away after giving me a concerned glance. When they're gone, Delly says in a reproachful voice, "He did save your life, Peeta. More than once." "For her." He gives me a brief nod. "For the rebellion. Not for me. I don't owe him anything." I shouldn't rise to the bait, but I do. "Maybe not. But Mags is dead and you're still here. That should count for something." "Yeah, a lot of things should count for something that don't seem to, Katniss. I've got some memories I can't make sense of, and I don't think the Capitol touched them. A lot of nights on the train, for instance," he says. Again the implications. That more happened on the train than did. That what did happen - those nights I only kept my sanity because his arms were around me - no longer matters. Everything a lie, everything a way of misusing him. Peeta makes a little gesture with his spoon, connecting Gale and me. "So, are you two officially a couple now, or are they still dragging out the star-crossed lover thing?" "Still dragging," says Johanna. Spasms cause Peeta's hands to tighten into fists, then splay out in a bizarre fashion. Is it all he can do to keep them from my neck? I can feel the tension in Gale's muscles next to me, fear an altercation. But Gale simply says, "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself." "What's that?" asks Peeta. "You," Gale answers. "You'll have to be a little more specific," says Peeta. "What about me?" "That they've replaced you with the evil-mutt version of yourself," says Johanna. Gale finishes his milk. "You done?" he asks me. I rise and we cross to drop off our trays. At the door, an old man stops me because I'm still clutching the rest of my gravy bread in my hand. Something in my expression, or maybe the fact that I've made no attempt to conceal it, makes him go easy on me. He lets me stuff the bread in my mouth and move on. Gale and I are almost to my compartment when he speaks again. "I didn't expect that." "I told you he hated me," I say. "It's the way he hates you. It's so...familiar. I used to feel like that," he admits. "When I'd watch you kissing him on the screen. Only I knew I wasn't being entirely fair. He can't see that." We reach my door. "Maybe he just sees me as I really am. I have to get some sleep." Gale catches my arm before I can disappear. "So that's what you're thinking now?" I shrug. "Katniss, as your oldest friend, believe me when I say he's not seeing you as you really are." He kisses my cheek and goes. I sit on my bed, trying to stuff information from my Military Tactics books into my head while memories of my nights with Peeta on the train distract me. After about twenty minutes, Johanna comes in and throws herself across the foot of my bed. "You missed the best part. Delly lost her temper at Peeta over how he treated you. She got very squeaky. It was like someone stabbing a mouse with a fork repeatedly. The whole dining hall was riveted." "What'd Peeta do?" I ask. "He started arguing with himself like he was two people. The guards had to take him away. On the good side, no one seemed to notice I finished his stew." Johanna rubs her hand over her protruding belly. I look at the layer of grime under her fingernails. Wonder if the people in 7 ever bathe. We spend a couple of hours quizzing each other on military terms. I visit my mother and Prim for a while. When I'm back in my compartment, showered, staring into the darkness, I finally ask, "Johanna, could you really hear him screaming?" "That was part of it," she says. "Like the jabberjays in the arena. Only it was real. And it didn't stop after an hour. Tick, tock." "Tick, tock," I whisper back. Roses. Wolf mutts. Tributes. Frosted dolphins. Friends. Mockingjays. Stylists. Me. Everything screams in my dreams tonight.

#Mockingjay