#there was a chance!!!!!!! i am going insane!!!!!!

[01zfan]

#45 | o. sh

volleyball player!shotaro x student manager!reader | 5.4k words

anons who requested this. i am SO SORRY it took me so long to get to this. i had to channel my past in volleyball for this and find the motivation for it so i hope the quality and the length makes up for the wait!

contains: semi-public, hand stuff only, mentions of clothing being tight (???)

shotaro would’ve never thought he’d end up playing volleyball. as a child he liked watching basketball the most, and when he he was in middle school he played soccer. but one summer at a sleep-away camp he picked up a volleyball for the very first time. shotaro received so many compliments about how he was a natural that he decided to tryout for the team on a whim. he knew it was insane to go into tryouts for a sport he never played, that it was less than likely he would be selected for the team. but it turned out everyone was right, he did have a natural talent. it wasn’t long before shotaro was accepted, becoming the libero on the junior varsity team.

shotaro also didn’t think he’d stay with it. just like soccer he found himself hitting ruts that caused him to lose momentum. he had to learn a completely new sport, he had to learn how to go for passes with his hands and dig for balls by diving his body to the floor instead of using his legs. the frustration of moving his body differently manifested into him not caring for the sport. it wasn’t long before he was not giving his all at practice, only nodding his head or shrugging his shoulders when the coach would ask him what was happening.

he even considered quitting when the coach wouldn’t bench him at the games. he knew he couldn’t stop himself from doing his best during games, especially with his team counting on him. he reluctantly ended up doing the best he could, and as a result his team did the best they could too. by his sophomore year shotaro was on the varsity team, and by the time he graduated he was captain.

when shotaro came to college it was a completely different atmosphere. he was against people stronger and taller than him, and he was up against people who didn’t have anything but love and passion for the sport. after the first day of tryouts shotaro stayed behind long after everyone left, practicing the drills he messed up. he was in his own little world, sweat dripping from his brow as he wondered if volleyball was worth it anymore.

“the gym is closed.”

shotaro turned away from the net to follow the voice. he remembers your face, but the amount of names he heard that day made him forget. all shotaro knew was that you were the assistant student manager. he saw your duffle slung over your shoulder as you wiped sweat from your brow with the bottom of your shirt. 

“you’ll only hurt yourself at this point. try sleeping on it, the drills will come to you naturally.” you turned around to walk out of the gym, and shotaro was getting ready to resume his drills. you turned around again, hand on the strap of your bag as you got his attention again. “you’re shotaro right?” you asked.

shotaro was shocked that you remembered his name. he was one face out of the crowd of athletes. he doesn’t even remember if he had the chance to formally introduce himself to anyone before they started explaining the process of tryouts.

“yeah.” shotaro said.

”cool.” shotaro saw you look down at your feet, his eyes caught on the brace that was bound to your ankle and the small scar down your knee. “you’re really good. i hope you make the team.” you said.

shotaro could only nod, giving you a simple wave as you left the gym. he thought nothing about his performance was noteworthy, much less worthy of praise. but you seemed to mean it, and as you walked away shotaro took your words of advice seriously. he packed up shortly after you left, and he had a long nights rest to recuperate from all the exercise. 

he found out you were right when the drills came to him like second nature the next day. he saw you watching him a few times, giving him nods of approval and a thumbs up each time he caught your eye. shotaro found himself looking to you each time he did a perfect serve, or was able to get a ball that seemed unsalvageable. he found himself overhearing the pointers you’d give to everyone else, even if they didn’t apply to him. each time you gave him advice shotaro listened intently, blaming the heat he felt across his face on the strenuous workouts. 

at the end of the week when he made the team, you were the first person he looked for. in such a short time shotaro decided that you were his good luck charm and that he needed to let you know. he was quick asking for your number, hiding it under the guise of needing to have the student manager’s contact information. you gave it to him with a smile on your face, putting your name and number in his phone.

“i’m going to the dining hall after this.” you handed shotaro back his phone and he texted you so you could have his number too. “if you wanna come with.” you offered.

shotaro took you up on the offer a little too quickly. he sat with you and the rest of the team, sharing stories about volleyball before coming to college. shotaro saw you nod and smile, understanding all the nuances of what it was to be a volleyball player, but never sharing stories of your own. he knew not to ask about it, he had come to that conclusion after finding about your vast knowledge of the sport and seeing the scar on your knee.

you and shotaro had made fallen into your own post-practice routine. he would wait for you in the main gym while you finished your clerical duties at the end of the night, and you two would walk together to the dining hall. sometimes you would end up catching the rest of the team, but more often than not it would be just the two of you sitting in the booth of an emptying dining hall. you two talked about life back home, what you were planning to study, and everything in between. 

the friendship blossomed quickly, but the dynamic changed the more you two spent time together. shotaro went from sitting across from you in the booth to sliding in next to you, so close that your shoulders touched. you two went from saying goodbye outside of the dining hall to shotaro walking you to your dormitory. eventually he was holding your duffle bag for you on the walk over, and one day he finally got the courage to reach for your hand. 

by the middle of the season, you two were in a relationship. everyone on the team seemed to know before you guys did, some even bet on how long it would take before you two got together. you two kept your relationship out of practice. you didn’t hesitate to advise shotaro and you refused to hold back critiques relayed to you by the coach. 

he respected you for your professionalism and passion for the sport, he truly did. he loved how you cared for the team and managed the responsibilities of the job while also easing everyone else’s stress. shotaro and his team never had to worry about the logistics of practice, they never had to worry about the little things if you were there. shotaro always found himself puffing out his chest proudly when his teammates would praise your hard work or mention that they never had a student manager like you. so shotaro didn’t know why he would feel a pang of jealousy seeing the girlfriends of his teammates in the stands wearing their jerseys. 

he knew it was unfair to impose anything on you. shotaro was able to get your support constantly outside the context of games, so he didn’t know why he felt that way. sometimes all shotaro could think about during games or practice was seeing his player numbers across your chest. he thinks he would be unstoppable on the court if he saw it only once—he’d keep a picture of you in his mind like soldiers did of their wives back home before going to war. but he would never ask you to do anything that would show such blatant favoritism, even if he was your boyfriend and everyone knew it. he could also never bring himself to admit the primitive aspect of it all, that he would feel some sense of satisfaction seeing his number on your body. so because of that, shotaro simply kept it to himself. 

he had planned to never tell you about it, but it was hard to avoid the conversation when it was staring at him right in the face. 

it was another long practice, ending with you walking around the main gym looking for shotaro. you called out his name and texted his phone to see where he was. you knew that no one else was in the gym at this time, you had even seen the custodians leave for the night after cleaning the floors. you followed the sounds of the showers, standing outside as you called out your boyfriends name again.

“i’m in here.” he called back.

“i’ll wait outside!” you yelled, hoping your voice would carry over the sound of running water.

as soon as you were done speaking, you heard the water shut off.

“come in. it’s just me.” shotaro said.

instantly you shook your head, looking up to the camera that was pointing right at the entrance of the showers.

“i can’t. not allowed.” you said simply.

shotaro came from around the corner of the tile wall, only wearing a towel around his waist. he had another towel in his hands, running through the wet strands of his hair.

“if anyone asks, say you heard me slip and fall.” shotaro beckons to you, and your feet started moving on their own accord. “come in.” he smiled. 

shotaro lead you through the winding tile walls of the showers until you made it to the main dressing room. you set your duffle down beside the bench, sitting on the polished wood as shotaro finished getting ready. you looked up in the large mirror embedded into the wall in front of you to stare at him. the pale blue tiles went all the way up to the white ceiling. you counted them up and down, each time leading you back to the reflection of shotaro’s body in the fogging glass.

he pretended to not notice your stare as he took his towel off to dry the rest of his body. when he looked in the mirrors reflection and saw you look away quickly, his laugh filled the room.

“it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” shotaro said.

you nodded your head sheepishly, still looking down at your feet. he wasn’t wrong, you had seen shotaro naked more times than you could count on your hands and feet. but it was different seeing him outside the privacy of your dorm rooms. you have never seen shotaro naked in a place that could easily be invaded. all it took was a straggler from practice or a custodian to catch you staring at your naked boyfriend. you only slightly settled down when you heard him pull up the pants to his tracksuit. when you looked back up to the mirror shotaro was putting on his shirt. 

he came behind you, looking at you in the mirror with a smile on his face. shotaro bent down and kissed the crown of your head. you tilted you head to look at him directly.

“how was practice for you?” you asked.

shotaro shrugged his shoulders, moving his hand to massage your neck. he continued looking in the mirror to stare at you, and when he got to a stubborn knot you let your head lull forward.

“it was good. i’m a little nervous for the game tomorrow.” shotaro answered.

you hummed sympathetically, pulling shotaro’s hands away. you guided him around the bench to stand in front of you. you were sincere as you spoke, holding his hands tightly.

“you’ll do great, i know you will.” you encouraged.

shotaro nodded his head, feeling the anxiety of the important match melt off of his shoulders. he already felt like he was on top of the world just by looking down at you. shotaro watched the serious look on your face change to a bright smile as you squeezed his hands again.

“i do have a surprise for you.” you excitedly waved his hands around. “it just came in today and i can’t wait.” you said.

shotaro couldn’t control his own smile. he thought about what you could possibly give him as he cocked his head to the side.

“and what is that?” he asked.

you guided his hands again until he was standing next to the bench opposite of you. you both moved to straddle the bench, and shotaro watched you look to your duffle bag before looking to him.

“close your eyes.” when shotaro’s eyes stayed on your duffle bag you stopped messing with the zipper. “taro i’m serious!” you laughed.

shotaro hesitated for a moment, but let his eyes close. he let his imagination run wild, trying to think what surprise was waiting for him in your duffle. he thought maybe it was his favorite snack, maybe it was a lucky pair of socks or a handwritten note. when shotaro thought he heard the sound of your clothes jostling he had to compose himself. he tried to beat the dirty thoughts away with a stick as he held onto the edges of the bench. he heard you curse under your breath a moment later. 

when everything was still in the room again, he stuck out a tongue to wet his lips.

“okay. open them.” you said hesitantly. 

shotaro wasn’t expecting to actually be surprised when he opened his eyes. his wildest imagination would’ve never been able to pluck the view he was blessed with down from his mind to place it right in front of him. he let out a sigh from the other side of the bench as he took all of you in. he got the perfect view from where he was. he was able to see the 45 of his jersey stretch across your chest and how the tight fabric rode up to reveal your stomach. shotaro couldn’t take his eyes off of you as you pulled at the end of the sleeves in efforts to make it fit right. 

“it’s a little snug.” your attempt to pull down the bottom of the shirt was futile. it rode back up immediately once you were done pinching the fabric. “i thought mens sizes were supposed to be bigger.” you said

shotaro still couldn’t take his eyes off of your chest as he shook his head. the primitive thoughts shotaro tried to keep at bay became barbaric as he watched the tight jersey material stick to you. when you crossed your arms to cover your chest shotaro’s hands went to your bicep, pushing them back to your sides.

“perfect fit.” shotaro spread his legs on either side of the bench further as he took his hands off your arms. “it’s a perfect fit. no reason to hide.” he said.

he watched you mesmerized as you continued to move in his jersey. your end of the bench felt like it was miles away the longer he looked at you on the other side. he reached out a hand to you, letting his palm drag across the polished wood as he pulled his hand back. shotaro was grateful you understood what he needed as you came forward, your hands gripping the edges of the bench. you brought your arms in to make your chest poke out more, trying to give him a show. his eyes ran over his numbers before he went to the shy smile on your face. shotaro mirrored your grin as he scooted forward closer to you. shotaro’s smile only got bigger as you two came closer and closer, by the time your face casted a shadow on his you could see his gleaming teeth. he only stopped smiling a moment before your lips touched his, biting them as he looked down to yours.

your kisses were light and soft, both of you tilting your heads to accommodate the other. one of shotaro’s hands came from behind him to go to your waist, and one of your hands let go of the bench to hold onto his face. you could feel the soft skin of shotaro’s cheek underneath your fingertips as you deepened the kiss. you held his head in place as you pushed your tongue past his lips. shotaro’s other hand went to your waist and he pulled you in closer, until you had to put your legs over his.

shotaro only brought you closer, and he moved towards you to cover the rest of the space. you could feel all of him press against you as one of his hands moved to your ass and the other moved to the small of your back. shotaro applied pressure, making your chest come closer to his as your hand that wasn’t on his face went to his shoulder. he was grabbing handfuls of you, kneading whatever part of your body he could get his hands on while your grip on his shoulder tightened. neither of you refused to pull away, only catching quick breaths in the seconds one of you would pull away to readjust. 

when you moaned into shotaro’s mouth he remembered where he was. he was supposed to be like you, taking his role on the team very seriously. he remembered that he shouldn’t be making out with you in a place where you two could so easily get caught. so he pulled away from you reluctantly, and moved a gentle hand to your shoulder to keep you from leaning forward again. your plump lips called to him, but he remained steady as he caught his breath.

“we could get caught.” shotaro said.

you only nodded your head, eyes wide as you tried catching your breath. shotaro nodded too, trying hard to not let his eyes wander back to his numbers across your chest. he still had a handful of your ass, and he could feel you arch your back in efforts to give him more. your hands that were still on shotaro’s face pulled him in, and he only resisted for a second before going back in. 

now it was you smiling against his lips, taking a deep breath in as you pulled on his bicep. shotaro’s hand went to your thigh as he lifted to get you completely on his lap. your hand on his face went to the nape of his neck before traveling up his scalp, reveling in the soft strands running through your fingers. when you pulled shotaro sighed, slipping his tongue further into your mouth.

you two were so caught up in the act of kissing that you forgot what always followed it. you were lost in how shotaro’s soft lips pressed into yours that you nearly gasped in his mouth feeling his dick pulse against you. he responded by only pulling you closer, and when your lips broke apart shotaro went to whatever part of your body he could reach. when you tilted your chin back he went to your jaw, traveling all the way down your neck until he got to what his jersey covered. shotaro pulled your hips down to his lap and he pushed into you when you pulled the hair at his scalp.

“you’re really hard right now.” you sighed.

“sorry.” shotaro said in between kisses. “you just look so perfect.”

“yeah?” you laughed, bringing your hands to shotaro’s face so he could look up at you. “i thought we could get caught?” you asked.

“i don’t remember saying that.” shotaro said.

you both let out quick chuckles and shotaro couldn’t stop thinking about how all of his restraint melted away feeling in your presence. it was a problem he was developing, even worse than his habit of not saying mine when going for a ball or cursing under his breath when a play wasn’t set up perfectly. he looked at the glint in your eyes and down to his number that was covered up by your two bodies pressing together. 

there are worse problems to have.

shotaro travels his hand up your thigh, watching the anticipation build behind your eyes as you preen into him. he messes with the fabric at the end of the shorts before pressing into you. you break eye contact to tilt your head back but shotaro’s eyes stay on you, how your neck bobs as you get the little relief. he feels himself becoming impatient at the sight, and he pulls your waist down with his other hand so you can feel all of him.

he repeats the action, just pressing into you and bringing your hips down to meet his each time you raise them. he can feel his dick pulsing in his pants, and shotaro almost sticks his own hand underneath his waistband to relieve the aching. but he doesn’t want to miss a single second of you getting teased as your eyebrows furrow from the almost pleasure.

“shotaro.” you sigh, looking up to the ceiling.

your own hand starts drifting down, taking the time to press into shotaro’s chest and stomach before you reach the pants of his tracksuit. you look down to shotaro when the thick band of fabric stays in your way, and he looks up at you with his eyes gleaming. his hand stops pressing into your heat to go up to your waistband. 

“mhm?” he hums.

neither of you say anything else as both of your hands move at the same time. you grab his dick and shotaro goes to your clit—not wasting any more time to tease. you both silently come to the conclusion you will have time for all the other stuff later, right now it was all about sated the desperation both of you felt until you were somewhere more private. 

shotaro knew he’d have to take his time with you in his dorm when he rubbed the first circle around your clit. instantly you were curling into him, muffling your tiny whimper into his shirt. shotaro knew he would be better composed later in the day, that he would be able to tease you or coo at the sounds you made into the fabric of his shirt instead of biting his lip to keep his own sounds at bay. he couldn’t help himself when you squeezed your hand around his dick just right, and when you had his name and number written all over you. 

the both of you were too reckless to start at a slow speed. when your hands went to eachother you both started fast, rushing through the motions as the last bit of your brains that were working told you that you had to be quick. so you quickly pumped shotaro’s dick until he was thrusting into your hand and he wasted no time teasing your clit until you were begging for his fingers. you both were messes for eachother in seconds, hands wedged between smushed bodies and shoved underneath clothes in shotaro’s team locker room. the novelty of it all would’ve made you both laugh if you weren’t so caught up in trying to feel everything.

shotaro felt the joking mood shift as you looked up to him. he could see the lights of the locker room reflect your glassy eyes, making it look like you had stars swimming in your irises. you were serious as you looked up to him, lips pouting as you spoke.

“you’re so good at volleyball.” you said, looking straight into shotaro.

his fingers on your clit faltered at the sudden praise, only finding their tempo again when you bucked your hips and let out a small desperate sound.

“what?” shotaro asked, trying to keep up with your hand that tightened around his dick.

“you’re so good at volleyball.” you repeated.

you repeated the words without faltering, tilting your head. you could see the confusion written on his face, flickering between that and how his lips parted when you squeezed a little tighter. you leaned back to rest on your hand that wasn’t on shotaro, giving both of you enough room to move your hands faster. the new angle let you pull down shotaro’s sweats enough to see the tip of his dick peaking out past your hand.

“i know i said you could do whatever you want.” you pumped his dick faster, feeling him pulse in your hand each time you went back down from his tip. “but i wanted to die when you told me you were thinking of quitting.”

shotaro quickly changed the angling of his hand in your pants, making his palm face the ceiling so he could finger you and stimulate your clit at the same time. you closed your eyes from the change and let a tiny fuck slip past your lips before opening them again. you clenched around his fingers when shotaro licked his lips.

“why?” he asked weakly.

“because you’re such a good leader, even if you aren’t captain yet” you started swiveling your hips into his hand, chasing that feeling building in the pit of your stomach. “they couldn’t do it without you.” you whined.

shotaro found himself chasing after something else, and a different feeling erupted across his body hearing your praise. he didn’t know what to do with himself hearing the rushed compliments fall from your lips as he watched you try and fuck yourself on his fingers. shotaro came to the embarrassing realization that he didn’t need you to touch him anymore, he could fall apart just from watching you and hearing you talk to him.

“they’re more than capable.” shotaro bent his fingers inside of you, eyes already focused on your chest to watch it jolt in the confines of his jersey as your whole body twitched. “feels good?” he asked.

shotaro watched you lull forward, eyes lazily focused on him as you nodded your head. he could see you actively trying to remember what you were saying, swallowing as you prepped your shaky voice.

“eunseok would’ve never been able to fix his jump serve if you didn’t help him.” shotaro tried putting in a third finger, but when he saw you wince he pulled back. “and sungchan kept touching that fucking net until you scolded him.” you said.

shotaro could tell you were getting close by the way your words were turning into babbles and your hand on his dick was becoming more and more rushed. he watched you screw your eyes shut and when you opened them he could see the tears in the corner of your eyes as you tried to focus on his. shotaro kept his eyes open wide, trying to remember the sight when he tries out for captain. 

your walls closed around shotaro’s digits repeatedly, and he continued pumping his fingers in and out even if it felt like you were trying to suck him in. 

“you think i’m a good volleyball player?” shotaro asked the question just to see you pitifully nod your head.

“you’re the best.” you arched your back, and the new angle helped shotaro go deeper inside of you. “you’re my favorite.” you whimpered.

shotaro’s eyes were wide as he took in every word. your voice dripped with sincerity as you rushed through sentences. shotaro used one of his hands to trace the curve of your body, ending at the bottom of his jersey. he pulled on the material, bringing the pinched fabric down your torso until it was completely straight. shotaro felt a newfound pride in himself that materialized in his chest, trickling down like molten lava to his stomach. immediately when he let go the tight fabric clung to you like a second skin, riding up the same way it did before. shotaro ran a quick hand through his hair as he felt the excitement prickling across his body.

“i’m gonna cum.” shotaro said.

his voice was beginning to waiver, floating between grunts and prolonged sighs. you nodded your head again, pushing up from your other hand to focus. you squeezed shotaro’s tip, using his precum as lubricant for your ministrations. he jerked his hips up quickly, bunching his pants at his mid thigh to free the rest of his dick. you moaned at the sight, using your legs that were still on shotaro’s to bring your body closer to his.

shotaro wrapped his hand around your back, giving you stability and enough space to work your hands the same way. when he saw you bring the end of his jersey down shotaro couldn’t hold out any longer. he pressed his fingers into your side and he closed his eyes as relief washed over his body. you kept working your hand when shotaro stilled underneath you, and he heard more mumbled praises fell from your lips as his his dick twitched in your hand. he left out one final curse, leaning forward until his head rested on your shoulder.

when shotaro opened his eyes he saw his cum glide down your hand and his abs. he saw some of it on your stomach, dribbling down your body to seep into the fabric of your sweatpants. you looked down too, looking back up to shotaro with a hunger that made him almost ready to go again. 

before you could close the distance between your lips shotaro leaned forward, working still feeling the buzzing across his body as his lips ghosted over yours.

“i couldn’t have done it without you.” shotaro said it quietly, afraid that if he got any louder he would only moan. he took his fingers from your clenching heat to focus on your clit. “you’re my motivation to be in this stupid sport and the only reason i stayed.”

shotaro felt your legs shake over his and your hand moved from his dick to dig your nails into his stomach. shotaro flexed for you, hardening the muscle underneath his skin. he could feel the cum on your hand smear onto his stomach, warm and sticky as your grip on him changed.

“you close?” shotaro asked, readjusting his hand around your back.

“so close.” you whimpered. “just keep going.”

“okay baby.” shotaro’s hand across the small of your back pulled at you, making you lean forward into his chest. “moan into my shirt if you need to.” he whispered.

you nodded while pushing your hips forward trying to work with shotaro’s fingers. your entire body went tense, gripping shotaro’s shirt so hard the fabric wrinkled. your moans became whiny and you could feel shotaro nodding his head.

“i got you.” he whispered into your ear.

your full body shook around shotaro, and he continued to nod and keep the same speed. he could feel the same relief coming off you in waves, and shotaro let a finger run down your folds to gather your cum. he used that as extra lubrication on your clit, speeding up until you let out a shuddering breath. he didn’t stop until you started shaking your head against his chest and your hand on his abs clasped around his wrist. he still tried circling his hand, smiling as how you had to push yourself off his lap before you got overstimulated.

“baby.” shotaro breathed.

“mhm?” you hummed. 

you still leaned into his chest, and shotaro watched your back raise and lower as you tried catching your breath. he saw the small trace of tear tracks underneath your hooded eyes.

“did you mean all the stuff you said?” he asked.

you put your hands to his face as you nodded your head. shotaro leaned into your palms, and the need to be touched by you took over his mind again. 

“of course i did.” you bring shotaro forward to kiss his forehead. when you pulled back he saw the facetious smile on your face. “i would love to tell you more about it, actually.” you teased.

you and shotaro were tripping over eachother as you gathered your belongings. you readjusted your sweatpants and threw shotaro’s hoodie over his jersey. shotaro slung both of your duffles over his shoulder quickly. you moved in a haste, not looking back at the bench to see if you left a mess. shotaro didn’t turn around till he made it to the exit, peaking at you one last time with a joking smile on his face.

“just make sure the jersey stays on.” he laughed.

#requestz #01zfan: shotaro #riize smut #shotaro smut

[nahoney22]

Hello, me again!

Can I please get 20 from your Enemies to Loves list with Fives?

Foes to Friends 🌊

🫧 Pairings: Fives X Female Reader

word count: 1k

prompt:

"I think we're friends now," / "Dank Farrik, don't say that,"

You thought war was stressful but it appeared to be nothing compared to your rivalry with the Arc Trooper that is Fives. But, how do you feel when he saves your life without thinking of the consequences?

warnings: Mentions of War, Near Death Experience, Platonic Relationship, Enemies to Friends, Female Reader but could be read as GN, Fives gets injured, Separatist’s Enemies.

sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy @sleepycreativewriter 🩵

The blaster fire illuminated the darkened corridor of the starship, casting flickering shadows on the cold, metallic walls. Fives and yourself, both hunched behind a crate, exchanging a quick, tense glance.

For as long as you had known him, the two of you had always butted heads. Supposedly it was down to both of your stubbornness and fierce determination that caused endless clashes during missions and today was no different.

After getting separated from Rex and the rest of the squadron, it was just you and Fives stranded together and things were getting hairy.

"Stick to the plan," Fives muttered, his eyes scanning the hallway for movement.

"I am sticking to the plan," You retorted , peering over the edge of the crate. "If you have a better idea, I'm all ears."

Fives shot you a look that said he doubted your abilities, but he said nothing more. Both of you knew that now was not the time for arguments. The Separatists had taken control of the ship, and it was detrimental that you both needed to get to the control room to shut down their systems.

Moving swiftly, your blasters cut through the droids that stood in the way. As you reached a narrow passage, the floor began to shake violently. Your heart began to race as the shaking was then followed by an explosion which echoed through the ship, and suddenly, the ceiling began to collapse.

It happened quickly but without thinking, Fives grabbed at your arm and pulled you out of harm's way, saving you from being crushed into a pancake.

You pant, shaking your hands as nerves and exhilaration flow through you at your close call. "Thanks," you mumble begrudgingly, not exactly used to showing gratitude towards him.

"Just doing my job," Fives replied, though there was a hint of something softer in his tone. It made you pause and think for a moment, watching him but focused back on the task ahead.

Continuing your advance, the tension between you both felt to be easing. Even if it’s only slightly. He had your back covered and you had his

But things went from bad to worse as you both approached the control room where you fell into an ambush of separatist droids. “We’re out numbered, Fives!” You cry out, shooting and dodging at every chance you get, exhaustion getting the better of you. Just when you thought one wave was down, you were drowned by another and another and another.

"Get to the control room!" Fives shouted over the blaster fire. "I'll hold them off!"

"Are you insane? You'll get killed!" You yelled back, heart pounding. No way you were going to let him do this.

"Just go!" he insisted, physically pushing you towards the door. You meet his gaze, wide and horrified whilst his eyes, usually so full of defiance, now held a desperate determination.

You hesitated for a moment, not wanting him to face the droids alone but then remembered you had to consider everyone else on the ship too. “Fives…”

“What are you waiting for? Go! Leave me!”

A wave of emotions hit you and knowing you had to do this, you turned and sprinted towards the control room. Entering, you curse to yourself as all you could hear and somehow focus on was Fives' blaster firing rapidly behind you. But you had to focus.

Quickly, you began shutting down the systems, fingers flying over the controls like you had done hundreds of times in training. Your mind is running wild and just as you finished, a blaster bolt whizzed past your head. You spin around, ready to meet your fate as you hadn’t even had time to react quick enough to grab your blaster. Heart stopping and your eyes closing waiting for the inevitable and you can only wish you had done all you could for the others but before you could even process anything, Fives was there.

His blaster takes out the droid in a single shot before he leans on the doorframe in agony. He was bleeding and looked exhausted, but he had made it.

You had never been so happy to see him. You rush to his side, looking over his injuries. “Crap, you’re pretty beaten up there.” You sigh and he can only mumble a response which sounded a lot like ‘no shit’ which you couldn’t help but chuckle at.

"You didn't have to come back for me," you say softly, voice barely above a whisper. You didn’t understand it but your throat tightened with emotion.

He meets your gaze, "Couldn't let you have all the glory," he replied with a weak smile. "Besides, someone has to keep you out of trouble."

You rolled your eyes, how very typical of Fives.

Letting him drape an arm over your shoulder, you helped him up and together made your way back to the escape pods after getting the all clear from Rex.

Fives however was clearly struggling, every step he took made him wince. The sight of his pain made your chest ache with a new, unsettling feeling. You came to the realisation with a pang that you cared for him. He had saved your life twice and in all the times you had bickered, you had not recognised how much you valued him until you almost lost him.

As you sat in the cramped pod, waiting for the ship to be out of range, you looked at Fives, seeing him in a new light. The lines of tension around his eyes, the stubborn set of his jaw, all seemed painfully familiar now… it was like looking into a mirror. How could you not see that you both argued because you were both so similar?

"I think we're friends now," you say quietly, trying to lighten the silence.

"Dank Farrik, don't say that," Fives groaned, though there was no malice in his words, only exhaustion and you even saw the flicker of a smile on his lips.

You giggled softly, leaning back and closing your eyes. "Admit it, you care about me."

"Maybe," he muttered, his voice barely audible. "Just because we're similar doesn't mean we can't be allies."

“Friends, Fives.” You reiterate, “We’re friends.”

Tags: @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @jesseeka

@theroguesully @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone

@ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog

@pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino @lamiliani @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi

@greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420

@ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder r @mysticalgalaxysalad @yunggoblin @the-bad-batch-baroness @thiswitchloves9904

#fives x reader #arc trooper fives #arc trooper fives x reader #clone trooper fluff #clone trooper #arc trooper fives x you #tbb #star wars #clone wars #nahoney22 writes

[bloomingdarkgarden]

My unabridged and uninvited Bridgerton season 3 thoughts live as i binge-watched until midnight last night:

fuck this show is euphoric escapism soap opera and idk what whimsical crack they put in it but it always manages to make my heartrate go insane. My expectations were low, maybe because ive been starved for any tiny crumb of this whimsy idk but i feel atrociously fed so here we go:

colin u are acting like an instagram influencer and we all see thru u bye.

Nicola is the most stunning person on television 50 shades of aqua move over boys I'm first in line for her dance card.

I would sell my soul to satan to have a cigarette with Lady Danbury in her afterhours tea room.

ngl the resurgence of the season 1 orchestrals is BEAUTIFUL and hitting harder than the new covers.

cressida's hair needs a dedicated gallery space and im completely here for her humanization she is a ruthless sad hoe and i understand. creloise good morning.

pen and francesca bonding over being introverts>>>>

pen is the people's princess for real, bookish as hell and socially awkward until she has 3 glasses of wine and then she's real as fuck. mood.

OH MY GOD THE KISS THE NIGHT GARDEN THE SHEER STARVATION his hand on her cheek and he's looking at her like he just touched god fucking hell i had to rewind and watch three times.

Pen trying to impress Debling "I LOVE BIRDS' no she did not I spit out my wine. yes penelope yes. don't let anyone tell u you don't have game honey.

omg balloon drama lol what is this shit peak bridgerton nonsense.

benedict has the personality of a rug on someone's back patio, polite and unnecessary. the reason why his scenes are so offputting every season is because he has been depicted as Goofy from A Goofy Movie no i have not read the books but boy they are gonna have to pay me money to digest him as a love interest i swear to god.

ugh penelope is the most relatable female lead in this entire series i am rooting for her SO hard.

thank fuck lady featherington is willing to discuss penetration with her daughters they now stand a fraction of a chance of surviving the world. lady f for president.

i found francesca's placidity / passitivity about the next 50 years of her life v frustrating at first but she grew on me immensely and am looking forward to more of her screentime.

debling has kind eyes and i will be sad if he's truly jilted... bravo netflix for once again making me care about the beta characters.

this danbury man flirting with lady bridgerton hello sire you are gallant as hell, wake up lady b.

colin's entire world being ruined for penelope is actual nirvana.

THE CARRIAGE SCENE THE CARRIAGE SCENE I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING THEM I WILL NEVER STOP I LOVE THEM IM INSANE ILL NEVER STOP holy shit. colin asking if the carriage can just keep going and pen laughing because that's a gd ridiculous thing to say is peak friends to lovers i felt their friendship in that moment and im aching with it ugh they are besties with hormones GOD i will never. stop. loving. them idc idc idc.

can't wait to watch 75 more times goodnight.

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #unabridged ramble #polin

[minniethemoocherda]

Can I Lay By Your Side?

Summary: In the aftermath of Sinister's attack, Morph struggles to get to sleep, so Logan keeps them company by watching a movie.

A/N: This fic can be read as a sequel to my other Morpherine fic "Loving You is a Losing game" but also works as a stand alone. Also cannot believe I have written two Morpherine fics in two days??? I am going insane right now!! Can't promise that any more fics about these two will be as consistent! Xxxxxx

Ao3

FF.net

Morph sat glued to the living room sofa, unable to make themselves move, terrified to go to bed to face the onslaught of nightmares waiting for them.

Mr Sinister's attack had been an ordeal for all the X-men, especially for the two Jeans and Scott who now had to grieve the loss of their son to the future. Morph's problems felt ridiculous in comparison. Sinister hadn't even controlled them again, not if you counted making Jean do it for him. There wasn't really anything for them to be upset about.

Yet every time they closed their eyes, they could feel the tendrils of Sinister's claws inside them. Morph scratched their arms, skin turning to gloop under their fingernails, digging for the mind control chips they swore they could still feel buried there.

"Pick one."

Logan slammed a box down on the coffee table in front of them, startling their edges back to a solid form.

"Huh?" Morph stammered, having not even heard their friend come in.

"We're watching a movie." Logan stated, pointing at the box.

Morph peeked over the edge to see a pile of rom-coms, their favourite genre.

"Unless you'd rather... talk... about it." Logan said, in a gruff imitation of Morph's offer back in the club. And on any other day, Morph probably would've excepted his offer, if it hadn't been Logan himself that had appeared in their nightmare. And there was no way in hell they were going to be talking to Logan about that.

"And miss the chance to finally make you watch Pretty Woman?" Morph replied, knowing that their attempt at a smile did not reach their eyes.

Thankfully Logan didn't comment on it and instead grabbed the VHS, wound it back with the tip of his claw and placed it in the player below the TV.

Morph was expecting Logan to sit in his usual spot at the other end of the sofa, so was therefore caught off guard when the Canadian sat right next to them.

They deliberately tried not to think about that fact as the opening credits started to roll. As it continued they found themselves becoming more engrossed in the film, admiring all of Julia Robert's iconic outfits, that red dress in particular giving them inspiration for whatever gala the x-men were next invited too. They allowed themselves get lost in the romance of a rags to riches tale as like all rom-coms the main character converged ever closer to a happy ending. The guaranteed happy ending, being the reason why the genre was their favourite in the first place.

The film even managed to get a chuckle out of Logan, which Morph counted as a win as they knew that with the revelation of an additional Jean, he had to be going through his own shit.

And when Morph's attention wavered and the edges of their skin started to droop, Logan placed his arm along the back of the sofa, his hand resting on their shoulder, effectively grounding them back to this reality.

Even if it did made it harder for Morph to as much attention to the movie afterwards.

Too soon the film finished and whilst Morph was feeling more solid, they still weren't ready for the concept of going to sleep yet.

Without even having to ask, Logan picked up the remote and rewound the tape back to the beginning, even though Morph knew that Logan wasn't a fan of films, rom-coms especially so. But he made no complaints as Richard Gere once again fell head over heals for the beautiful Julia Roberts.

Once again, the big ballgown scene played out and it was becoming a battle for Morph to keep their eyes open. Too exhausted to talk themselves out of it, hoping to conserve some of their energy into staying awake, Morph rested their head against Logan's shoulder. Expecting Logan to brush them off or turn it into another joke, they were surprised when he actually pulled them closer, his hand now properly gripping their shoulder as though they could physically shield them from their own nightmares.

And it must have worked as the next time Morph opened their eyes, daylight was flickering in through the living room windows. The first thing they noticed as they slowly came to their senses, was the low volume of the TV as it played the movie for what must've have been the tenth time. The next was that their whole body was pressed against Logan's side and that The Wolverine's hand had moved from their shoulder to their waist, hugging them even tighter.

"Sleep alright?" Logan asked, concern etched in the creases of his face.

Morph nodded, not trusting the words I love you to not tumble out of their mouth.

"Good," Logan said, those creases turning into a smile. "'Cus I can smell Jubilee making pancakes."

Of course that was when Morph finally woke up enough to realise that they were cuddling The Fucking Wolverine.

They practically ejected themselves from the sofa, putting as much distance between them and Logan as physically possible.

"Did you say pancakes?" Morph cried, acting as though their internal mental breakdown was actually just an over enthusiasm for food. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

Not waiting to see Logan's reaction, they sprinted down the corridor to the kitchen, not realising until they were long gone that Logan must have stayed awake to protect them all night.

#morpherine #morph #wolverine #x men 97 #x men the animated series #mr sinister #jubilee #logan x morph #morph x wolverine #morph x men #kevin sydney #james logan howlett #logan howlett

[rosenfey]

⊱ tagged by @thanekrios to recommend some books! I've been back to reading since last winter and it brings me so much joy so I'd absolutely love to talk more about books! ☕🌸

1. — the last book I read:

GRIEF IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS by Max Porter. I just love Max Porter's writing style. It's unlike anything I've ever read before. The way he manages to capture some of the deepest, most confusing human emotions in such a succinct way without making them sound too saccharine is incredible.

2. — a book i recommend:

HOLLOW PLACES by Christopher Hadley. This is my favourite book of all time. I used to sleep with it next to my pillow so the cover is crooked and worn and i love it so much. It's a non-fiction exploration about the life of a medieval legend, how it shaped through the years and affected people around it. It's very much an essay on human memory and culture and our desire to tell stories, inadvertently leaving pieces of ourselves in the narrative as we go. It's beautiful, it's touching, it's incredibly entertaining to read, and it makes me feel so much love inside. As someone who studied folklore and religion in university it is deeply personal for me to visit all the castle ruins and other places people from the past lived in. It's a way to connect with them and to see that even though we are so incredibly different, we are also incredibly similar in some aspects. And this book captures that so well.

3. — a book that i couldn’t put down:

LANNY by Max Porter. Another fave from Max Porter. It's about this sleepy village and the eldritch horror forest being that stalks it and a little boy that is very much very strange. It's also a social commentary and an essay on environmental mindfulness. And it's incredible. I finished it in two days.

4. — a book i’ve read twice (or more):

WITCHES ABROAD by Terry Pratchett. This is where I come out as a Discworld fan. They were a huge part of my childhood and I remember especially loving the books about wizards and the witches. This one was definitely my fave and I did read it basically in one day when I read it for the first time. And I loved it so much I came back to it.

5. — a book on my tbr:

There are literally so many (I have a hoarding problem). But the most recent ones are: The Land of Maybe by Tim Ecott and Master and Margarita.

6. — a book i’ve put down:

The Witcher series... The writing style is really not for me and the plot (and the blatant sexism and male fantasy type of storytelling) lost me after the 5th book (sorry).

7. — a book on my wishlist:

Again, so many. I literally have two excel spreadsheets for my wishlisted books and it's getting out of hand. But the one I am especially keen on getting is A Natural History of Fairies, a beautifully illustrated little guide on fairy folklore.

8. — a favorite book from childhood:

REAPER MAN by Terry Pratchett. I used to be terrified of death when I was a kid. I still am but now I at least know he loves cats, has a horse called Binky, and supports labor workers.

9. — a book you would give to a friend:

WEIRD MEDIEVAL GUYS by Olivia Swarthout. If you are my friend then you know that I am absolutely normal (read "insane") about marginalia art. And this book has some of the silliest ones available for your thine pleasure (I would not want to fuck with a rabbit that has a bomb. Or a cat with a massive club. Or the snail with those grabby hands. Like nu-uh. They would grab me. With their hands. Cuz. Ya know... we still friends right???)

10. — a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

KYTICE by Karel Erben. Okay this is me being Slavic but also not generally into poetry much (as in I don't collect poetry books) but. I adore Kytice. It's a collection of ballads that center around monsters from slavic mythology (eat it witcher I mean I am sorry I just don't like the witcher please don't leave me come back I swear I am more than just a hater listen to me baby give me a chance) and they range from brutally sad to tragic to super gruesome and gory (okay most of them are pretty gory. but in a poetic way). Anyway I am not sure if they were translated to English yet but there is a movie and hopefully that one has subtitles (if not I am gonna learn how to make subtitles because I need people to see it).

11. — a non-fiction book you own:

DON'T TELL MY HORSE by Zora Neale Hurston. Because we need to mention more classical works by people of color. This is basically an anthropological view on the Haitian + Jamaican voodoo beliefs and it's so incredibly intricate and interesting to read I recommend it to anyone who is interested in the subject or just wants to broaden their range of classical literature.

12. — what are you currently reading:

Alice in Wonderland. I got the prettiest edition for my birthday so I am revisiting my childhood. :3

13. — what are you planning on reading next:

The Land of Maybe by Tim Ecott. It's a book about the slow life and nature of the Faroe Islands which is where I am staying at currently!

⊱ tagging (I am not sure who exactly reads from my mutuals so I will be using my regular tag list, feel free to ignore <3):

@hibernationsuit﹒@lavampira﹒@euryalex﹒@starforger﹒@pawnguild

@florbelles﹒@baldurians﹒@archonfurina﹒@dekarios

@inafieldofdaisies﹒@feykiller﹒@zahra-hydris﹒@noughtomaton﹒@corvus-rose

@ferwynter﹒@thefrostyshepard﹒@melancholicrainstorm﹒@sylvthara﹒@katsigian

@rindemption﹒@juniemoe﹒@eldensrings﹒@claudiawolf﹒@therapyvibes

@sibeal﹒@epheyang﹒@lotusfaebell﹒@ravensgard﹒@princessmelinoe

@lutebard﹒@nokstella﹒@pavus﹒@gothimp﹒and you ♡ — (un)like this post to be added / removed.

#ambie got tagged #sorry for the long post i just love books gngngn

[sortasirius]

"Ashes, Ashes" and Eddie Diaz's Grief

This entire post is just about Eddie, literally him and him alone lol

Good lord what a stressful fucking episode.

Just to start off, after Buck meets KIM WHEN SHE JUST SWAGS ON IN TO THE FIREHOUSE WITH HER BROWNIES, the way Eddie opens the back door like he's not sure who would be there, only for him to scoff when Buck asks if he can come in...it's giving "this is Eddie's house, I'm not really a guest."

"Eddie...who's Kim?"

And Eddie immediately turning away from him and picking up dishes to put in the sink...yeah my man how's that denial taste?

"Marisol's my girlfriend. Kim's just...a friend."

"Just a friend who's a...dead ringer for your late wife?"

I don't think there's anyone else in the world who could talk like this to Eddie. I genuinely think he would turn tail and run if it was anyone else.

I noticed when Eddie says that "nothing's going on" he has an eerily similar expression on his face when Ana showed up to the firehouse. And Buck clocked him then, too.

"It's not even what I want from her."

"Okay. So what do you want?"

"I...don't know."

And that's it. That's Eddie's narrative arc. He doesn't want Shannon. He thinks he does, he's so lost in this fantasy of having her back, of doing things "right this time" that he's convinced himself that, if he could just have her alive again, everything would be perfect. He doesn't want Marisol, we know that, but he doesn't want Kim either. And if I'm honest, he wouldn't want Shannon if he had her back.

What does Eddie want? What does he really want? It's a question none of us can answer. In fact, I don't even think Eddie can answer it right now.

"Does this poor woman know that she is a carbon copy of your dead wife?"

Absolutely brutal line. Wake his ass up, Buck!!!!

"I'm worried about you."

"Yeah. I'm worried about me too."

I AM ALSO VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU EDDIE!!!

Insane that after one (1) conversation with Buck, Eddie decides to come clean to Kim. The power that he holds.

"Have you been spending time with me? Or with her?"

What a fucking gut punch of a line.

"I didn't realize how much I...missed her. Then I saw you."

This is the thing!!! It's almost like he feels like seeing Kim somehow gives him a second chance with Shannon. If he could just have Shannon back, if he could just do it all over again, he would do it right. They would finally have that happy, perfect relationship that he remembers, he would finally be the best husband that he could be, Chris would finally be happy.

He doesn't seem to get that Chris is already happy. OF COURSE he misses his mom, he always will, and Eddie will always miss Shannon, but dragging in this person that just happens to look like her to cling to this semblance of a perfect marriage that never even existed in the first place? Yikes, my guy.

"I guess she was the love of your life."

"I think she was. Yeah. Though I'm not sure I knew at the time."

Because what he remembers isn't real!!! He's whitewashed this relationship to the point that it's not recognizable. She's the love of his life...that he ran away from before she even gave birth to enlist in the army. The love of his life that he reenlisted to stay away from. The love of his life that he fought with constantly. The love of his life that left him a few months after he was discharged. The love of his life that asked him for a divorce days before she died.

I'm not saying relationships are all sunshine and rainbows, but we saw next to none of that with Shannon and Eddie. The sex was good, they both loved Chris, they cared for each other deeply...but love of his life?

I don't even know that he would be able to identify what that even means for him.

I think his grief has taken so much from him, he can vocalize how much time they spent apart in their marriage, how so much of it didn't work, but it's like it doesn't get all the way through to him. Kim is right when she says they have unfinished business, because that's what happens when you lose someone unexpectedly like that. It's clear Eddie has never gotten over it, maybe never even tried to process it, but seeing Kim brought it all back to the surface, similar to how realizing that all of the people in his unit were dead brought up his untreated PTSD.

He so carefully bottles everything up until it explodes, and this is no different, we're just seeing the explosion and the fallout of something he has tried to tamp down for five years.

Look y'all, I felt as bad for Kim as anybody could, she did not deserve to be used as a pawn in Eddie's strange journey with grief, but for her to show up with those fuck ass bangs and basically cosplay as Shannon to try and get Eddie to open but about his grief???? WHAT ARE WE DOING????

I think ultimately, this comes down to the fact that Kim is trying, in a very weird, very misguided way, to do a good thing. Eddie said he never got closure, and was trying to use her for that closure, so she thought that, if she just dressed up like Shannon, she could help him move on from her.

But for her, this is an acting job. For Eddie (and for Chris), the loss of Shannon is very, very real.

"Who's Kim?" WAS FUCKING CRAZY. ABSOLUTE FREAK ENERGY.

"I know I wasn't a perfect husband, I did my fair share of running too."

Babe...you ran the whole ENTIRE time...

"I came back because I couldn't imagine a life without...without you."

I'm so fascinated by this delivery, because is he looking at Kim and having a hard time saying that? Or is he looking at SHANNON and having a hard time saying that?

"And you know what? I still can't. But I'm still living it. But it's broken. I'm broken. And I can't fix it. This is the life I have now. This is the life from now on. The life...without you. You were supposed to be here with me, baby. And now you're not. And you never will be."

First of all...Ryan Guzman...actor that you are.

This monologue is so heartbreaking because that grief is still such a raw nerve. He's stuck in that moment in the back of the ambulance. wishing that he had done things differently.

But the thing is...Kim is talking to him as a person that she doesn't know, as a person who never existed.

Eddie asks why he never got a letter, but he doesn't mention that she wanted a divorce. He can mention all the times he left her, or she left him, or even the fights they had, but he can't seem to ever remember, ever think about that. His speech seems doubled sided. It's not just that she left them when she died...it's that she was going to leave him before, WHEN SHE WAS ALIVE. It's that she didn't want to make things work and he never got to ask her why.

And then...the other shoe.

"Mom?"

I think we all knew Chris would find out one way or another, and while I hope that conversation with "Shannon" was healing for Eddie, it is going to set Chris back years. Because he doesn't know that it's not her! For all he knows, his mom is back again, answering that Christmas wish he asked for five years ago all over again.

I'm gonna be honest, I love Eddie so much, more than anything, but I was...pretty fucking pissed the moment they walked through that door and he called Kim "mom." Because it was SELFISH, and Eddie has never been allowed to be selfish, not once in all his life, and I wish I could support this selfishness now, but not at the cost of Chris. AND I KNOW EDDIE FEELS THE SAME WAY! This is going to fuck him up just as much as it fucks Chris up!

I know that Tim has talked about how season 7 is kind of a mirror for season 4. He's trying to get back to that narrative and tell the story he wants to tell again. If we look at that, we know that Eddie is incapacitated (shot) at the end of season 4, and that, after his recovery, he tells Buck that he's in his will, that he will get Chris if something happens to him.

Well. Something is really happening to him now. And they couldn't have Eddie near death again, but what if he becomes incapable of taking care of Chris in another way? We know that Helena and Ramon are in the last episode too...what if someone calls them, and they plan to take Chris back to Texas, only for it to be revealed to them that Buck is the one that gets Chris, not them?

This plotline was so strange in so many ways, but I think it served a very specific purpose for Eddie to begin to move beyond his grief over Shannon. And while we are, in no way, finished with the fallout of it, I hope that this conversation with Kim will help him be able to move forward with his life, instead of sticking himself in relationships he thinks he needs to be in to fill the void in his life that he thinks Shannon left.

And yes, I'm a Buck and Eddie truther until the day I die, but I really just want Eddie to begin to process this raw grief, because this was clearly the first time he had even tried.

It seems like we have A LOT to deal with in the finale, and with everything going on, I'll be interested to see the aftermath of this moment, and how it effects Eddie and Chris' relationship in particular.

#spoilers #my meta #lilly liveblogs 911 #911 abc #911 #buddie #eddie diaz #911 7x09 #christopher diaz

[motherfracker]

This episode.

First I need to talk about Henren and how I am absolutely heartbroken over them having endure more loss in their family. Like they are the best damn parents, stop taking their children away. And having all of those cases twisted on Hen like that as ammunition and evidence to take Mara away from her. Diabolical. Just a gut punch, I cried so hard.

There is so much about Bobby that I don’t even think I can get into it all. But I was so worried about him, I AM so worried about him. The beginning of the episode feeling like a goodbye, to him having to save Athena, and then having a heart attack. The emotional whiplash of it all. I’m so afraid to learn anything more about how that fire got started. The guilt this man has carried, and continued to carry without leaning on his wife for support. Still bottling it all up until it was too late. Just heart wrenching, and I feel for Athena, it is so hard to watch your significant other struggle like that and not know what to do but to just love them and hope it’s enough.

Buck, getting the chance to cook for the team from Bobby. He was so happy about it, so proud. And his moment with Bobby after shift was so sweet, they have come so far. He is going to be so gutted if anything happens to Bobby. That’s his dad.

And then Buck running into Kim like that, oh my god. And immediately going to Eddie’s to figure out what the hell he just saw and figure out what was going on (despite whatever his plans were for the evening). That kitchen scene was so great, they are so vulnerable with each other, so patient and understanding. Buck using the back door to be considerate of anyone else in the house because he knows how crazy and fucked up it all is. But he’s so calm and gentle with Eddie about the whole thing.

Which leads me to Eddie. My guy, you have come so far, but you are still so delusional. Shannon was not the love of your life, she was your first love. And there is a difference. Kim is insane for coming back to pretend to be Shannon to try to give you closure without all of the context, because Eddie you omitted a few key details in your retelling of your relationship’s history. And to get so wrapped up in this fantasy to allow yourself this weird moment of skewed catharsis and have Christopher walk in (with your girlfriend, which where were they without you?) and witness this woman in your life who confusingly looks like his DEAD mother. How painful for him. That kid has been through enough, and I can’t fathom how he will view you going forward and I am so scared for that. It’s so twisted. How do you explain any of this to your son? How?

I can’t stop thinking about it. 7x09, I wish you were longer.

#911 #911 on abc #911 abc #911 spoilers #evan buck buckely #eddie diaz #bobby nash #athena grant #hen wilson #karen wilson #christoper diaz #cinematically this doesn’t top the season four cliffhanger #but it’s still a pretty crazy episode that is going to stay with us in terms of the INSANITY of it all #like what is Kim on? #and Eddie is FaceTiming her in the station? with other people around? what? #I hope Amir is okay #just let the 118 be okay #and don’t make Buck lose his dad #don’t make Buck lose his family #I want a happy ending dammit!

[milogreer]

the thing about morgan and obscura is that i want obscura to feel like the most treasured person on earth and i know he would treat them that way. because for all that morgan is guiding them through learning how to live with their sight, obscura is the one leading the dance - they choose the time/place, they set the pace, and he meets them exactly where they're comfortable. a real slow burn with them would be so rewarding and i want it so badlyyy

i've talked before about the intimacy of "time is a song" and i am not an essay writer, i am a rambler, so if this is repeating points from that post, that's life! i just wanna talk about them again, more so this time in the context of "consulting with a seer" and how morgan sets the tone for their following relationship right off the bat

You don’t have to answer any of my questions, you don’t have to ask any of your own, this meeting is what you want it to be. But—you’re the one who reached out to the Department. Not the other way around. Clearly you wanted… something. No one’s keeping you here, you can leave at any time, you can tell the Department to go kick rocks and never speak to them again. But you’re the one who asked to meet with another Seer. And now you’re saying… nothing. Is it me? The Department asked that I be the one to speak with you given that we’re the only two Seer Obscura in existence right now, but if anything about me personally is offputting, I’ll gladly ask that a different Seer be the one to help you. Getting you whatever support you’re looking for is the only goal of all this. If someone else would do that better, then that’s what I want for you.

the consistent reassurance that obscura can dip whenever they want to. like from minute one his top priority is making sure they're as comfortable as possible because he knows the anxiety that comes with being a seer obscura

To be Obscura is incredibly rare. To be a Seer Obscura is unheard of. The chance of you or I existing at all is infinitesimal. The chance of us existing at the same time is unfathomable. But we're here.

it's hard to even find the words for how this makes me feel LMFAO it's .... it's the inherent soulmateism of being the only two people alive experiencing the same thing. and the fact that it involves someone who maybe not even necessarily believes in "fate" if i'm understanding ?? like he hates the term "Known Outcome" because he doesn't believe the future is fixed and totally knowable, but he acknowledges how insane it is that they've been brought together despite the chance of it being literally unheard of. ykwim. am i talking nonsense

You and I have a unique circumstance that we face. One that no one else can really understand. [...] It’s just you and me. That said, nothing about that fact is an obligation. Being the only two Seer Obscura doesn’t mean we need to be friends, or even have a relationship at all. It’s your life to live as you choose. If you want guidance, understanding of a shared experience, maybe even friendship eventually from me… then I would like to get to know you. To help you where I can. But if you don’t want those things, if you came here for an answer, and you got it, and you want to go back to what you know, I completely understand. You don’t owe anyone anything by virtue of being who you are.

and back to the gentle insistence that nothing is expected of them - if obscura wants to turn and run, pretend this never happened and continue suppressing their sight, they can. it's entirely their choice. but he's also giving them the reassurance that they aren't alone if they don't want to be.

like. i think what really gets me about all of this is that it's so genuinely selfless of him? because imagine meeting the one person who could truly understand you on a level no one else ever will, someone who by all accounts should not even exist in the same space as you, and then completely sincerely telling them that if they have no interest in sticking around, that's okay. you know? like i imagine the majority of us would at least try convincing them to stay. but he doesn't. he puts all the cards in their hands and lets them choose how to proceed, and he doesn't hound them when they vanish for a while after this meeting. everything happens on obscura's time; there's no pushing them towards anything they don't want

i think obscura is ... fragile, perhaps? and i think they need careful hands and a patient heart and morgan could be everything they need. i want them falling asleep on his couch after a late night talking and i want him to gaze at them fondly before putting a blanket over them. i want brief hand touches when they pass him something and to hear his breath catch in his throat at the contact. i want more instances of that tense pause before "...i want to know you." i want him to make silly jokes just to make them laugh and then to get starry-eyed when it works, and when they try to cover their mouth to hide their smile, i want him to tell them they have a beautiful smile (without telling them not to hide it). i want them to almost kiss but be interrupted by someone's phone going off or otherwise interrupted so they turn away, flushed and awkward, and they don't talk about it again. i want them to kiss in the rain, soaked and shivering but not caring about anything but the way they feel on each other.

sigh. where the hell was i going with this. i don't know. i just think they have so much potential for a life changing slow burn. i cannot believe they make me feel so strongly when they've only had three audios

#got real wistful at the end there LMAO. this isn't how i expected to spend my lunch break #redacted audio #redacted asmr #morgan kyne #seer obscura #sweetheart.txt #morgan #no fancy name colors in this one i cannot be bothered

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Two more episodes! Almost done!

I feel so accomplished, LOL! 🎉🎉

***

The Empress told her, thank fucking god. She is now falling in line, as she would have from the start.

The shit they put this woman through one month postpartum, I cannot even 🤬🤬

***

LMAO, I love a masks-off Minglan 💪💪

Sweetie, she does indeed want you to die and you all know it.

***

Yes, thank god!

I mean, I loved this show to bits (minus a couple of exceptions here and there) but 73 episodes is loooooooooooooong 😭 I would be lying if I said that I was not ready to put it to rest.

***

Hmmm. Doubt.

I saw no battle, I don't believe a single word.

I bet they are all just lying in wait outside the city gates waiting for the inevitable coup that is about to happen here in the palace so that they can weed out all the traitors.

Besides, in addition to Gu Tingye, we also saw Lady Zhang's father and General Shen leave. There is no chance they are dead without it being shown on screen and milked for the dramatics.

***

What? Why?

***

LMAO, she's so lost in her own madness, he can't even see he's grieving.

What kind of question is that? Tingwei actually loves Tingye and never wanted him dead. He is genuinely mourning. But she cannot even begin to comprehend that.

***

LOL, go, Tingwei, go!

You may be a little stupid and easily tricked, but at least your moral backbone is not entirely made up of jelly.

***

A trap? Is this a trap?

MINGLAN, DON'T GO!

***

Hehe, Minglan is back to being smart and competent and I am living!!

***

Who is this woman?

I don't remember her at all.

***

She is indeed a daughter of a general! 🔥🔥

I love Lady Zhang!

***

You remain an idiot and your end is nigh.

***

He sounds nice.

Such a charmer.

I hope Shitou and Minglan's head torturer get a hold of him.

***

IT'S FUCKING MANNIANG AGAIN. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

***

Poor little baby.

He is a month old and this is the third crazy woman trying to murder him. Fourth, if we count Madam Qin, who is standing behind all the others but hasn't attempted to stab him directly.

***

LOL, as always, I adore Nanny Chang!

This woman is such a queen, she never fails to come through.

***

Oh, shut the fuck up.

This child has been grating on my nerves ever since she was replaced by this older actress, but I am now completely done with her. Yeah, trauma, blablablablaaaaa, but I cannot stand her whining for this insane woman who has not been present in her life for years upon years and was highly abusive when she did show up. What exactly is she grieving for?

***

She couldn't annoy me more if she tried.

Your shitty mother was a bane upon society. She killed your little brother. She just attempted to kill your second little brother. She assaulted and nearly killed you (that fall... yeah).

#the story of minglan #tsoml spoilers #tsoml ep72

[raibebe]

STOP WHAT YOUR’E DOING RIGHT NOW AND LOOK AT HIM

#WHY DOES HE LOOK SO GOOD IN CLOTHES I AM GOING INSANE #BRB EATING GLASS #THE VIDEO TOOOOO #PLEASE JENO #JUST ONE CHANCE THATS ALL I NEED #jeno simps #it’s me. I am the Jeno simp #jeno

[beanghostprincess]

I am so fucking gay I want her so bad somebody please break my leg right now so this sweet doctor can treat me I am so gay oh lord women save me Kaya save me please Kaya just one chance please

#she looks gorgeous i am going fucking insane #don't look at me i am having a moment right now #please kaya #just one chance kaya #usopp share please i want her too #one piece #kaya one piece

[whos-hotter-jjba]

Hottest JoJo Character Bracket - Match 3-4

#i am going to die. #no seriously i'm about to be so dramatic in the tags THESE ARE MY SHITTY BABIES AND I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH #I CAN'T CHOOSE THEY'RE MY POOKIES MY WORST BLORBOS #joseph's shitty bisexual stereotype fuckboy vibes and rohan's insane messed up artist vibes #i can't pick between them #i need to ask someone which of them is losing and vote for the other so at least one of them will come back in the second chances #i can't do this they're my babies #joseph joestar #kishibe rohan #rohan kishibe #battle tendency #diamond is unbreakable #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #who's hotter jjba #hottest jjba character bracket

[bookgobloblin]

Fionna and Cake screenshot redraw because the Star has an IRON GRIP on my brain right now original screenshot under the cut

#fionna and cake spoilers #fionna and cake #marceline #marceline abadeer #fionna and cake screenshot redraw #screenshot redraw #my art #digital art #bubbline #marceline the vampire queen #adventure time #I am so insane about this episode omg #The ending sequence was PURE CINEMA #It's going to have a permanent place in my brain as one of my favorite animated sequences of all time #the juxtaposition between bubbline at each other's throats and gumlee realizing they were meant for each other is just so good #AND TEHN THEY KISSED IN AN ELEVATOR #I'm dead #even in a timeline where they had basically no chance of having a happy relationship their obsession for each other was unquenchable #to the point of self destruction #Mutually assured destruction has never been this gay #I am so normal right now

[brokenhe4ds]

i need him to **** ** **** ** **** *****

#i am going insane #ross pls give me a chance #ross macdonald #the 1975

[rendevok]

Woe, Weatherboy be upon ye!! ☀️🌧️❄️

I’ve been making gijinkas of my team while i play a run of pokemon emerald :> more stuffs under the cut!

Here’s a quick lil profile for starters (image text transcribed in alt text, i know my writing here is messy 😅)

I had a lot of fun designing the jackets, so here’s my initial sketches of them!

Anyway here’s some food for thought:

#pokemon #castform #it’s your girl weatherboy!!!!! #the jinkas #(<- that will be my tag for my pokemon gijinkas/ocs) #i’ve always loved gijinkas but now that i’ve earned the power to draw… i’m about to be so annoying lol #bugsy is NOT the canon bugsy ok 😅 my bugsy is a trapinch! and also my baby boy. more on him when i find the time to draw more of him!! #ANYWAY reassurance i’m not switching gears- i am MULTITRACK DRIFTING. im literally in the middle of going insane ovr narumitsu as i type ths #fan art #rendevok #i’ll draw the big naturals brothers when i get the chance lol #also. i wanna be clear: i will not let anyone follow my priv unless i know them so please just dont come knockin if idk u ;;

[secret-unburnt-guitars]

Hi i don't know much abt styx aside from general prog fandom osmosis but kwh has always intrigued me a little bit. Can you explain it in excruciating detail? (genuinely i'm not being sarcastic)

*cracks knuckles*

on february 22, 1983, styx released their eleventh studio album Kilroy Was Here. it was a concept album/rock opera though dennis deyoung likes to call it more of a "rock theatrical experience" in recent interviews. they even made a minifilm they played before the concert!!!! you can find it and the rest of caught in the act on youtube

it was made partially as a response to the rise of the satanic panic in the early-mid 1980s. people started to believe that rock music was evil and hiding satanic messages. the band was targeted by the public when they were accused in particular by the government of arkansas (i think?) of putting backwards messages (called backmasking) in their song Snowblind (the line "i try so hard to make it so" sounded like "satan moves through our voices" to some people. i own a copy of paradise theatre, that track in particular is damaged.).

and then dennis deyoung had a GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!!

imagine a big ol lightbulb flashing over him while the rest of the members of styx watch in mortal dread

so basically the album follows a sort of loose and vague backstory that's somehow still solid enough for people to follow some sort of a plot in their head (which is slightly backed up by Caught In The Act, the designated KWH "concert," which i'll get to in a second). the basic synopsis (paraphrased but still in excruciating detail) is as such:

set in a futuristic chicago(?) rock and roll has been made illegal under code 672 (prohibits the playing and purveying of rock music). Dr. Everett Righteous (played by JY), who was responsible for this, is the leader of the majority for musical morality or the MMM for short. the MMM is one of the strongest organizations in this universe since you know. they literally convinced congress to criminalize an entire genre of music for the entire country. righteous also hosts a television show where he encourages the public to burn guitars and records in a huge bonfire during “nightly rallies”. he also projects himself onto a big triangle over the skyline which i think is fucking hilarious i haven’t been able to get over it

Robert Orin Charles Kilroy (played by Dennis DeYoung, of course he's the title character), was a prolific rock musician at the time of the ban. he was thrown in prison for breaking the law and after being framed of murder. they accused him of bashing an MMM crusader's head in (which he obviously didn't do) after they raided one of his concerts at the paradise theatre. he then goes to rot in prison and is subjected to attempts of brainwashing by the dr. righteous show with the other “rock n’ roll misfits” they’ve arrested. it doesn’t work lol. i don't understand how it would work BECAUSE IT'S NEVER EXPLAINED

the prison kilroy is rotting in is maintained/monitored by japanese import, mass produced robots dubbed the "robotos," hence the title track. ignore how racist they look, it was 1983, this is not my fault

i mildly dislike them but it sucks how they’re essential to the plot ANYWAYS

here comes Jonathan Chance, (played by Tommy Shaw, albeit reluctantly) who is a rebel that is part of a underground resistance (that's only really mentioned once). with his friend, he breaks into some unknown area that is most likely a recording studio and hijacks the live television recording of the dr. righteous show. he proceeds to namedrop himself and then run off

credit to @mccoys-killer-queen for the gifs!!

kilroy sees this happen, which inspires him to attempt to escape the prison. kilroy incapacitates a roboto that visits his prison cell and disguises himself as it so he can escape without being noticed (i do not like the way he does this)

after kilroy escapes, he goes throughout the city and leaves messages for jonathan, leading him back to the paradise theater which is now the Dr. Righteous Museum for Rock Pathology

it's got a bunch of shitty animatronics that include people like jimi hendrix and elvis presley, but at the very back is an animatronic of kilroy repeatedly bashing in someone's head

this is my favorite part of the minifilm which i've basically explained sorry. you see like what you think is another roboto emerge from the shadows, and then it takes off its mask AND IT'S THE ACTUAL KILROY!!!

(this is taken from the live show, the transition is so goddamn dope)

and then dennis deyoung prances around and has his little pick me theater main character moment and sings mr. roboto and dances and stuff it looks so stupid. the live version of mr. roboto is way funnier than the official music video i don't know. i posted it about here before but i love this part in particular

so that's how kilroy and jonathan meet and that's basically the plot of one of styx's most popular songs!! sorry i gave kind of a play by play of the minifilm

now here's the fun part !!!! (unfinished lore/controversy)

unfortunately the reception of this album was less than satisfactory for most people back in '83, since KWH was way far away from the brand that styx had made for themselves in the 70s. they made art rock and prog, but this was just straight up synthpop. some people liked it though. i read somewhere in an article that it "alienated their male audience" and honestly if you're alienated by a little bit of gay pick me theater bs from your favorite band, that's a you problem

caught in the act was the designated "kilroy concert" that styx did sometime in 1983. the concert, however, doesn't give any. depth. to any additional explanations of multiple plot holes present in the story. as much as i love and cherish dennis deyoung he didn't do a very good job at writing this.

caught in the act felt more like a compromise than a show, seeing as the banter after the performance of mr. roboto was very bare? kilroy explains to jonathan that he was framed for murder, and then he goes in depth on the night it happened. "the crowd was totally psyched," he says, and then it goes to JY performing a guitar solo, which leads into the rest of the concert. the entire concert was portrayed as a flashback and gives no real backstory to any of the established characters. and then at the tail end of the concert they get "raided" by the MMM and you watch as an MMM officer murders one of righteous' own followers with kilroy's guitar. they cut back to kilroy and jonathan, they sing haven't we been before, and then kilroy hands jonathan this sick ass glowing guitar, then they perform the world's worst finale. the dance party ending of caught in the act. it sucks. it's horrible. i hate it. also there is no dennis deyoung in the kilroy was here universe lmfao

i'm still grateful for the concert though don't get me wrong!!! amazing concert

if the rest of styx didn't want to rip dennis deyoung apart for making them do this (i recently learned from a manager that DDY made them turn down an opportunity to perform at one of the largest concerts of the 80s, because he was like "but muh kilroy"), i believe songs off the album like High Time and Double Life would have been performed at Caught in the Act. both extremely lore-heavy songs, especially double life. i really wish they played double life. but c'est la vie, i guess.

literally everyone in the band hated dennis' guts so much while they were making this (justified, he was a stubborn asshole during production) but god was it worth it. for me at least. i imagine one of the conversations about production went like

JY: dennis have you considered that maybe this is a bad idea Dennis: i'm gonna make you the villain of the story if you don't shut the FUCK UP

i still think that JY had a little bit of fun though. he was hamming it tf up as dr. righteous i'm sorry you need to watch the mv's which you can find on youtube as well

but unfortunately tommy shaw wasn't having a good time at all, he literally quit on stage and stormed off and styx split for a while bc of this album i mean LOOK AT HIM HE'S SO PISSED OFF

overall this album is both cheese AND corn, worst album i've ever listened to, and yet it's given me a purpose in life. i've written 7,000+ words in one document about this album just to try and fill in the blanks the lore has, it's got so many. it's a running joke on this blog, i really hope you check out the album, because i think it's wonderful and it's endearing regardless of the controversy, it's too late for me. save yourself

#styx #styxposting #kilroy was here #styx band #dennis deyoung #tommy shaw #jonathan chance #dr. righteous #styxblr #robert orin charles kilroy #this took me two days to prepare and write #sorry to everyone else that already knows the story front and back because of me (consider this a refresh) #or to anyone that already knew the story even before me #god i wish i was there to experience it. #i would've died and gone to heaven #i watch the live show and my heart is warmed because i know for a fact that someone in that audience was as insane about this story as i am #and was probably losing their shit in the audience #perhaps it was a birthday gift. or something they had completely given up hope on seeing #also righteous canonically owns a fried chicken brand named Dr. Righteous' Fried Chicken as a play on KFC #i had to stop watching the minifilm for fifteen minutes and go do something else because i was so disgusted by the fried chicken plot point #and DDY milks the fuck out of it in CITA when he goes 'and i was eating that G R E A S Y fried chicken' #the pain and agony #it's so unnecessary #caught in the act #i might be a little ill in the mentally