#there is literally no way they dont know how much it hurts me

[marcygoo]

okazyyyy here we go. parts from murder drones eps 6-7 that really tickle my brain that i never see people mention like ever (if you come into the reblogs or comments of this post being like "why didnt you include (x part that everyone talks about)!!!" then that is why. and also i am going. to Eat You.) this isnt really going to be organized or anything. basically just me being abnormal about sounds and movements and other minuscule details that im really fond of for however many words

okay, first thing is gonna be a sound thing. i absolutely LOVE the beeping sound uzi's visor makes in this part. i really like sounds.

cant get a good screenshot of the movement cus.. yknow. duh. movement. but the way alice moves from there to the ground to where v is so. idk. fluid. its so fun to look at i really like it

the finger snap here. i love this finger snap. the noise. the movement. its so good. its so crisp. i love it

the lighting on uzi's face. forgive me for using the word crisp twice in a row but its crisp. its really good. okay

and the lighting on n's face here??? the colors are so harsh. i really like looking at it. okay. i feel like im not writing enough to just describe how much i like the lighting here. i really like it. its cool. okay i think its cool. i dunno

i really like this hallway. thats it. thats the section. the way the camera slowly tilts just a little bit while it zooms in? the way the slowed down music in the background almost sounds like alarm sirens? like okay

another thing i cant capture properly because, duh, movement! but the way the red sentinel kind of dips down here? i dont know why it did that but it slayed. and id like you all to ignore the fact that my nyan cat youtube bar got caught in the screenshot

the sound effect that plays here when "tessa" cuts herself with the sword. i dunno. its just a really satisfying sound to me thats all

another thing about sound effects really close to the last one but. the sorta crunching noises that uzis hand being contorted here make. im normal about sounds i promise. ok on to episode 7

the lighting here. on nori. insane. im not normal. as mentioned before with n i love this kind of harsh lighting especially with the drones it just looks so visually appealing

okay ANOTHER part i cant properly capture. this bit where it zooms in on the screen and shows the elevator. im. not normal about it. i really really like it alright.

UGHHHH THE WAY UZIS HAND MOVES HERE. THE MOVEMENT. THE FLUIDITY OF IT. IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED. AAUUGHHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHH

LETS EAT!!!! DUDE. UGHHHH. AUGH. i LOVE this part SO MUCH you guys have no idea. im obsessed with it. the line delivery. the pose. the shot. the implications. the way that its just such a simple and commonly used phrase. do you get it. do you understand. genuinely one of my favorite little parts in the whole series im not kidding. let's eat

o-o-o-o-ow! ! !!! i always love the glitched voice effects alright. and that combined with the movement of nori's body being forced back by the crucifix. idk. i dunno man. i just like it

and UGH. LITERALLY right after that. the lighting flash just as she pulls it out of her face????? i hate this show so much guys. aughhhhhUGHHHHHHHHH AUGHJJ

grrrr this part. i literally NEVER see people mention it but. the way uzi.. the solver.... uh. whagever. the way their eyes sorta wobble when they turn to look up at n and nori. its a really cool movement to me i dunno

THE CRUNCHING NOISE WITH THE MOUTH GETTING PULLED SO FAST FROM A TINY FROWN TO A HUGE SMILE LIKE THAT??? EWWW????? INSANE. CRAZY. I LOVVE ITTT AUGH

no comment needed. the 😁

ok im kinda putting a lot of stuff from this fight on here. forgive me. its got a lot of really cool stuff. this part like. like. the way all the sound gets kinda muffled and crunchy.. aughh.... i love it. hurts me in my bones. 10/10

ok bit of an unusual thing to point out here but. the solvers flapping here. its so strange. it looks so weird and mechanical to me. in a good way i love it

the hand twitch. no further comment.

eugh. this part. the way the coagulated blood (???) almost jiggles like jelly. eughhh ewwwwwww. why are you like thattttt. (positive! i love blood.)

drone sound: much, crunch (i REALLY like the sound effect that plays when uh... flesha. bends down and Crunches dolls core. the sorta glass breaking sound. sorry doll.)

the fucking frog blink. why are you like that. i hate this thing so much.

the music that starts up right as j lands.. eughjghgjhhhh. augh. dies. also side note that i wasnt able to fit really anywhere. but i love the sound that the ship makes. dont know how to describe it but yknow what im talking about right

the fucking. sound effect. of uzi stabbing her own hand with the protruding bone. crunch. i really really love crunchy crunching sounds. theyre so good. one of my favorites honestly

uh. okay. well thats it thats the post. thanks for coming to my Autism. walks away

#soup says stuff #murder drones #FUCK IT WE BALL!!! MAIN TAGS IDGAF. look at my fucking poast

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

#—silan replies; #j a little rant :)

[angelboybreakdowns]

nothing worse than repeatedly, clearly telling your family how much something hurts you. bringing up every time they do it how uncomfortable this makes you and what an important boundary it is to you. and yet they still keep doing it and treating it like some funny little joke.

#i know this shouldnt be a big deal. #but my mom and sister constantly take videos pictures etc of me #i really really dont like being filmed #i explain to them every time they do it (probably about twice a day on average) how upset it makes me #especially because its usually things like filming me dancing or taking pictures of me sitting weirdly #so they can send them to their friends #and mock me #(not conjecture or paranoia they literally tell me thats what they do with them) #and. its such a small thing #and it really shouldnt be this big a deal #i know that #but on the other hand #if its so unimportant #why is it so hard for them to not do it? #why dont they just stop #there is literally no way they dont know how much it hurts me #that they take situations in which im happy and comfortable and make them something to be self conscious or embarrassed about #i tell them.every time. i have explained to them so many times how hurtful it is. #so the only possibility at this point is that they are deliberately hurting me just be a they think its funny #my happiness my comfort my ability to unmask partly in my own home all matter less than a cheap laugh #tags are a personal vent but main post ok to rb

[writer-room]

Hey. The Finders have no idea that Bonzle was captured. Fritz and Spitz are still waiting, playing video games in the Monastery, for Cole to bring their sister out of hiding now that the blood moon is over. Geo is still sitting by the window, watching and waiting for a dragon on the horizon to return his kid safe and sound. Cole took a very unsure Bonzle, assured them all everything would be okay, and they'd be back soon. He promised he'd find a way to protect her.

Don't think about how they'll smile when Cole finally trudges back, happy to know he's okay. Especially don't think about the Finders stopping, looking out over the group, and how Cole can't look them in the eyes when they turn to him and ask; where's Bonzle?

#ninjago #ninjago dragons rising #lego ninjago #dragons rising #bonzle #finders #cole #cole brookstone #geo #fritz #spitz #text post #angst #talk #LISTEN TO ME #COLE LOST 2 WHOLE FAMILY MEMBERS DURING THAT BLOOD MOON #HES GOING TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!! HES DOING SO BAD #mans is a FATHER and he PROMISED he'd keep his kid safe. he promised it to the OTHERS #and hes going to have to walk back up those steps and admit to being a LIAR and a FAILURE #hes not obviously sht just went sideways but you KNOW he blames himself #geo very worriedly stayed behind w fritz & spitz FULLY TRUSTING that cole would keep bonzle safe & bring her back #he loves him so much (in a gay way. u know it to be true) so he trusts him IMPLICITLY to keep them safe. hes done it before #can you imagine the HORROR when cole comes back and hes...alone. with no one else but the other ninja (minus 1) #geo realizing what happened before the kids. the way everything just freezes and drops. cole curled so tight in on himself #and cole cant say hes sorry because he cant even look at them. he lost family hes had for over a decade & a kid he claimed his own for year #you saw how he was w child wu. you saw how desperate he was to keep bonzle safe. AND KAI IS GONE TOO??? #homeboy is having the literal worst day ever. imagine him trying to tuck fritz & spitz close while on one knee trying to explain it all #and bro jsut feels like hes literally the worst person in the world #something something 'you dont get to stay with the ninja & be happy. i tried to protect you from what hurt me as a kid' #'and instead your right in the thick of it'

[craycraybluejay]

yes i am an adult male who loves high school dramas this is because i literally never experienced normal coming of age drama like ever and am disconnected from the collective experience of having a relatable peer group forever hope that helps

#i JUST want to experience high school #without like. my whole shitty life thing having gone on #i want to go to high school and have stupid drama and sexuality crises and worries about grades #not... That #i never had that im never going to have that #can i get (one) permission to go a little crazy if i survive into a university #fuck everyone befriend and be-enemy everyone get all up in peoples stupid mind numbingly low stakes drama #i want that sweet golden experience where the worst thing ill ever fear is annoying my classmates #or accidentally spilling something on someone at a dance #i deserve it i deserve to have had a childhood and a young adulthood and a life #i deserve to have dealt with unserious issues to prepare me for bigger ones #rather than serious danger that leaves me permanently severed from normal people and life #and makes me incapable of reacting proportionally or finding it in me to care about less serious problems #like yes it sucks your mom is going to miss college graduation #but i thank my lucky stars that you are not dying or being abused or starved or beaten or exploited #i literally dont know how to take things seriously a lot of the time like im not able to even if i try #because to me the mildest real problem is someone purposefully isolating you and ruining your health #the MILDEST #i try to care ab simple stuff i really do i just CANT #and it sucks so much trying to be a good friend and kind feeling like i cant do enough #the loud thought 'i wish that hapoened to me/i wish i worried about that/i wish the people i love only had that as a problem' #i get so envious. like thank fucking god your parents divorced like normal adults when it should be over #thank fucking god that 'friend' cut you off when they were actively insulting you and betraying your trust #thank the fucking universe that shitty partner dumped you before you fkn hurt yourself over them #yk? #and its a 'mean/cold' way to think about it but i just dont have the capacity to think or feel the little picture #i can imagine my friends subjected to such horror even tho i dont want to

[silenthillbunni]

🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol????? #im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!! #im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing? #other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing????? #and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

[britneyshakespeare]

i hate that i've been complaining about everything in my life lately but if you're a frequent reader of my personal posts (side note, if you are: why. also i'm sorry) but if you remember earlier this week on tuesday i slipped outside and hurt my knee. i didn't end up seeing a doctor about that bc they literally had no openings when i talked to the secretary she was like i am so sorry sweetie. we can't take you for the rest of the week and i was like oh. and after a couple days it didn't hurt sooooo much although i think the limp ive been walking w has not been doing me any favors. but now today especially (? for some reason) BOTH of my legs were really hurting. i'm wondering if that might somehow be related to me getting my period today bc sometimes. you know how period pain can just end up wherever it wants. but then around 8 o'clock today i stubbed the SHIT out of one of my toes and i think i might have injured it (? i dont think it's broken but i cant stand on it and it's been hours). this is my left foot and the knee i hurt on tuesday was on my right leg. i am literally limping on both sides of my body now and i cant stand or walk.

#shout out to me being irritable with my family. sowwyyyyyy #EVERYTHING HURTS WHEN I TRY TO MOVE FROM PLACE TO PLACE #i dont know if i can handle seeing people tomorrow and it's Literally Christmas #i told kaily i wanted her to carry me to my bed earlier like im a little kid who fell asleep in the car and she said no :( #sisters are USELESS #tales from diana #menstruation cw #injury cw #maybe i shouldve gone to urgent care or the er about my knee earlier this week #i was starting to think i didnt seriously injure it but now im having doubts? or maybe i walked on it too much yesterday #i really was doing WAY too much walking yesterday but i kinda couldnt help it #my adhd body Wants To Move all the time even when i know i should be taking it easy #thats always been a problem w me whenever ive needed to limit my exertion. i just want to wander and fidget #i have a hard time staying still it makes me feel insanely unhappy #theres no better way to describe it #but i cant. move. now. sooooo #i dont know if i mightve broken my toe or not but its kinda swollen #how common is it to break a toe really? theyve got. theyve got a lot of little tiny bones #i dont know id think its more common to break a toe if you crushed it under something #i stubbed it. REALLY hard. like harder than even a normal really bad toe-stubbing. #i dont know. i dont know. i dont know. #can i have a wheelchair for christmas just for like a week at least #and get someone to carry me up and down the stairs?

[flower-zombie-rob]

Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.

#Sometimes I really do just honestly kind of hate her. I know it's a horrible thing to say about one's parents who care for them but it's #true. With the way that she treats me and criticises me and takes every advantage of a chance to tear me down it just really hurts all the #time. I can't criticise her because she ll fly off the handle at me and say how many things she does for me that i dont apreciate enough #But for her she can say as many times as she wants that she doesn't like my hair and she doesn't like the way I dress and she doesn't like #This the way I look and she doesn't like the way I stand and she doesn't like the things I say and she doesn't like my beliefs #She can say she doesn't like my tone of voice and that she doesn't like the way i stress out about things and im not allowed to say #A negative word about her in edgeways when she's allowed to tear me down on a constant basis and make me hate myself. As someone who really #Struggles with a lot of self loathing problems and self hatred she really does just rip into me with no restraint constantly. She knows #That I suffer with some serious rejection sensitive dysphoria that I am trying to get therapist help for and she still has no restraint #When it comes to criticising me and everything I am and everything I like. And she has the goal to do this thing where she is kind of peer #Pressures me into agreeing with the things that she says which in turn just makes me consolidate those horrible beliefs about myself in my #own head. If I don't agree with her criticism of me I can't just say so I have to not along with her and affirm to myself that those #Things are true. That I don't like my own hair that I don't like my face and my makeup and my clothes. That my preferences are wrong and #That I dress too androgynously. That I could never experiment with things like pronouns or gender and that I have to agree with societally #Homophobic undertoned things that she says because I can't bare to have her criticise me again and again and again for critisising her. #I can't do this anymore it makes me dread every time she comes into my room to talk to me about some new thing she doesn't like about me. I #And constantly stressing about how much people dislike me and how annoying I am #And the fact that I'm literally hiding the things that I want to wear from her so i can put them on when i get away from her and yet she #she will still get upset if I criticise her for making me literally hate myself on a regular basis. she wont beleive me and she'll be #Confused if I have a belief that doesn't match hers and she'll get so excited when I even possibly hint at doing something to my appearance #that she likes and knows I don't. I worry wake for comic corner she wouldn't shut up about how much my hair looks really good in a style i #dont want to cut it. If I dress in a way that's openly queer she ll act like I'm going to get #and i quote “the wrong kind of attention” Because she thinks that me even possibly being misgendered because of my clothing is a #disgusting crime and that I should be the perfect Barbie doll pink pretty princess she always wanted her children to be. She wants me to be #Someone that I can't be comfortably and she's essentially forcing me to fit this mould of her preferred child. Which obviously makes me #Despise who I am and hate my own interests and style. And as horrible and hurtful as it is to say this #I can't wait to get away from her. #sigh #vent #harsh morning

[gattmammon]

So the molecule change is going badly

#i know this is the worst moment because im taking halved dosage of both meds #so my serotonin receptors are like. what exactly are we doing. and im hurting all over which is a sympthom of duloxetina withdrawal for me. #but fuck i had NOT realized how much the drug contributed to keeping my will to live up throughout the day #its kind of disappointing #this feels like way back in the days when i was just rawdogging life and its. uuuuh no good #both my general doctor and my job gave me shit about how many times ive been missing work #and like. i cannot say anything beyond im sorry #because depression is so hard to explain. people dont accept 'i just could not bring myself to be a human today' as a valid excuse #like literally i kept thinking. j need to do this and that. but my body was like. nah #and like this job is my pride and joy. i had a spotless fucking record. im so sad and angry at myself #i just hope that when i start taking full dosage of the new meds things will smooth themselves over

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit #i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it #very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically #some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like #AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE #and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to #and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded #it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me #i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me #and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him #away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt #feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like #aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family #hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs #his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage #and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them #HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM #and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is #but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK #and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way #or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he #doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’ #yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them

[chemicalbrew]

achievement get (for the billionth time): take one look at an assignment and get severely overwhelmed AND discouraged for the rest of the day and do nothing

#it's so much and it's dishonest work!! literally dishonest because all i can think of is how bullshit a lot of it sounds. instead of #you know? #actually learning anything? #but this thorough lack of motivation is just gonna get me in trouble isnt it. how do i swallow my emotions and figure things out #its getting harder every year and the feeling that the few people i have close by do not ever truly understand - like at all - is horrifyin #yes sorry this is all i could think of for the past six hours. im having a great day (no im not. i also hate myself for feeling this way) #zero.txt #im sure it hurts the few people who care and who thought i'd actually go on to do things to see me constantly wallowing for reasons #that they refuse to comprehend or have compassion for. #just stop being sad! just get to work piece by piece! have some resilience #meanwhile all ive done is cry. maybe a part of me just likes feeling like this i DONT KNOW #and ofc so often im like. the only reason im still around is im quiet and they havent invented thought police #yet. #how can i have hope when the moment i decide to pluck a silver of it out of my core i read something that in a better world would not even- #-be a nightmare #like. you say things like that with your mouth and expect us to mindlessly repeat if we want anything in life... #fuck my stupid baka life <3 #ugh im just going in yet another circle now when i know trying to put my feelings in words is not helpful. what IS helpful #negative #again sorry. at least you dont have to open this wall of tags #delete later #maybe

[dufrau]

Prompt for you… Not sure if you Go Here but I love my grief driven girlies. Any version of a bly manor au? I love the way you write devotion tbh and the tlou au ruined me (this is cry at wife anon) so why not tap into more devastating source material !!

Oh man. So im answering this one specifically because I dont think i could ever write this no matter how many days i spend staring at it. Im sorry!

I have very mixed feelings re Bly Manor as a whole, but I do love this love story and I think it's very beautiful and sad but like it's sad in a way I don't think I could handle writing?

Within the context of it, obviously its about loss but also as you say devotion, and about how much the love matters when it's there and the way love echoes (the selfless kind and also the selfish kind), and about letting go in the name of love. And I'm like, INTELLECTUALLY i know there is a beautiful story there. I felt it to be very beautiful when I watched it! BUT I CANNOT LET THESE CHARACTERS GO THIS WAY IN THE NAME OF LOVE I AM HOLDING ONTO THEM TOO TIGHT I AM ONE OF THE SELFISH GHOSTS.

I think I would break my own heart trying to write this.

In real life I'm extremely pragmatic and Im like it is objectively good that character A lives a long life full of love after this part of the story is over! This is a good thing! I am happy for her! But the part of me that writes stories is a very foolish romantic who finds the TLOU au ending to be "better" than leaving one of them without the other for the rest of their lives. It's stupid! It's objectively incorrect! But it would wreck me to do this to them!

Anyway this is all to say thank you for this ask it was really nice and i loved reading it! But I'm sorry, I am too weak to fill this prompt!

#it also makes me think about like #how long forever is #and the blip of time a relationship turns into the further you zoom out #and the difference between the way things matter in a cosmic sense which stays static #and the way they matter in a human sense #which lessens the more other things happen in between #and its okay! #its literally how we survive grief #because if it stayed as big as it is at the beginning forever we wouldnt make it #but i dont know #the idea of it lessening HURTS #after my brother died i remember just feeling so offended when the seasons changed #and still its like the insult of time passing without somebody #if that makes sense #ANYWAY #the anon who has a wife to cry on #asks #somebody write this though ill cry so much

[nakeurnes]

oououuuowowaah story of undettale

#TSUAUSUSBGGHyzhaa i HATE OUR BROTHER I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH NO MATGER HOW HARD I TRY all GHE SHIT I DO TO TEY AND SYMPATHIZE WITH HIM HE #FUCKING THRNS AROUND AND IS A DICK TO ME FOR NO RESON AND !!!! YLS AT ME FOR NO REAON SOMETIEMS SHUT UL SHUT UP YOURE LITERALLY 13 STFU #i fucking hste it here i hate being fcjingg 18 and having to share the sMe room with him i have sincd he wzz BORN. #GOD. ONE FUCKING NIGHT ALONE WIYHOUY HIS ANNOYING ASS I CSNT EVEN JERK OFF OR STAY UP LATE OR LISTEN TO LOUD MUSIC #AND LIKE IM HALDWy fhinking OH! OM BEING IRRATIONAL jd spLITTING AGAIN AND I AM. BYT HE IS JST A DICK I HATE TEENAGE BOYS I HOPE HE DIES #hes SO FUCKING MEAN hes cslldd me slurs and a bitch multiple times in the most derogayory way and i hate him #he knows abg the zysfem too snd just CHOOSES TO IGNORE IT APPARENTLY DOESNG CARE WHO HES TALKING TO. #auuggh moments i regret being ghe host i hate it here. #i hate our familh theyre just fu jing mean yhis shit builxing up is whzg made me snap in the first place!!! and couldng host for a long time #andd now im upset and spiralling and i dont wang to be a bother espcially sijce spe ific ppl i wantto talk to arsnt thefe an d it makes me #very very bvery sa d i msis my friends #i cry everry day miss ing them i have beene really liking remembering things with nicki #no onee knwos wht im talking about or wjo i am #i dont want to be useless please need me i jave no other purposs #im a nuisance to ppl whow ant to front #i sit here living in the past that doesnt exist anymore and pray every day for it to come baxk knowing it wont ever come back #i miss . my friends i dont tthink they like me #im too pushy when im happy and when im upset im too cold i never make anyoke happy an d i talk too muc h and it hurts wberyone #icant even ve of goo d use to mmy actual children in headspace im an awful mother i cant stay stable enough tk help anyone or do anything #me being here has only caused problems and I remember why i left before #me when i spiral and makenmsyelf sonmu h more upset than before #vent #shelly

[odetolovers]

it is absolutely wild the way i’ve allowed people to treat me

#every year i write an end of year recap i’ve been doing it since 2019 #this year So much happened but one of the big things was breaking up with my ex #and it genuinely blows my mind how badly i was treated and the fact i stayed as long as i did #year and a half of clownery when i knew after 4 months i’d been sold a lie 😭 #i feel so bad for past me because girlie you didnt deserve that!! nobody does!!! #it’s helped me sm in my current relationship because i know what it’s like to be the collateral for someone’s self hatred #it’s motivated me to heal and develop self esteem so i dont do that to my wonderful partner #they have really shown me what love is and let me tell you! it’s nothing i experienced with my ex! #mind blowing mind boggling i am never letting Anyone treat me that appallingly ever again #literally crazy i wish her a lot of healing and growth cos goddamn how are you terrified of being a bad person yet treat people like you #treated me. no wayyyy no way #i so believe in that thing of what people are most scared of they’re most likely to do #goddamn! 2023 man. wild time #valentina talks #i definitely made many a mistake which is why im not really like. Angry at her because i understand and i’ve had to change a lot and grow a #lot too. i think everyone just is perpetually making mistakes and growing and that’s okay. but it doesn’t mean the people you hurt need to #forgive you or think your actions were okay #just yeesh. i’m glad it’s over and i moved on

[arsonist-twink]

ever check up on ur ex and be like wow. youve fallen off without me

#like wtf happened 😭😭😭 #how tf do you just. instantly become boring the second we break up #also this man glowed the fuck down like #wearing knee length khaki cargo shorts when hes like 5'2 #you dont pull it off you look like an elementary schooler in his little uniform #babes i am so much hotter now what is this #dyed my hair bright red started dressing how i actually wanted to because you wouldnt call me cringe for it #i smile more now #and you still cant make your stupid fucking bowl cut look good. #l + ratio + you're a fucking creep now too who's dating men who don't respect your gender identity because they know you have low enough- #-self worth to date them without thinking twice about it while im still with the amazing man you left behind because you couldnt appreciate #-him giving you absolutely everything he had #i may have made a promise to stop 'spreading rumors' about you irl but no one on tumblr cares about you so #and either way warning people that you're a selfish unhappy bitch who will promise to be there for them and then leave when their fucking- #-mom dies is not spreading rumors. thats telling the truth to make sure you dont hurt anyone else #WOW #okay that was #a lot #SORRY TUMBLR FOLLOWERS YOU DONT NEED ALL THIS????? #THIS IS LITERALLY JUST CUZ I SAW HIS STATUS WAS 'now who want me' ..... #anyway #merry christmas if you celebrate have a good night if you dont im going to bed #kinda vent #vent tw #just in caseies

[toytulini]

If you get the urge to say shit on this post, consider: dont. not looking to engage in a dialogue about this, i will block you

i know this isnt whats gonna happen but god id love to learn nothing about that new hp show. i dont want to hear shit. not even about how bad it is. tmi. dont curse me with that info. why do you know how bad it is. why are you telling me. go look up a weird bug on wikipedia. or dont. dont tell me about it. dont put it on my dash.

#toy txt post #i know thats not whats going to happen tho. i know my dash will be flooded with gifs and screencaps and ppl who #maybe they didnt hatewatch it piracy or otherwise. maybe ill be generous. maybe they read an episode synopsis on wikipedia #and theyre telling us about all the new bad dumb shit theyre doing #and then we're all gonna get mad and spread it and talk about it nonstop #to shame everyone into not watching it #but like in order for this info to get out. one of you watched it. whyd you do that. whyd you tell me about it #and i know for my contrarian friends my wording it like this is making you want to watch it out of spite. its making it sound like #tasty fun spicy forbidden knowledge #no its just gonna be the same dumb stupid boring shit. maybe with an added dash of heinous transphobia antisemitism and racism etc #for gods sake go read a goddamn harry potter fanfiction instead #just dont put it on my fucking dash #im so ready for us to be done with this terfy fuck. for her to be irrelevant. i think thats what would hurt her most. she found a way #to thrive on the controversy shes feeding off the negative attention #and im not saying like dont call her out like i get we have to do that like i Get It i Know #that we cant afford to just ignore her bc shes literally using her billions to influence laws in the uk to hurt ppl #like i know #but god just imagine how much it would suck for her to wake up and nobody fucking cares either way #not mad at her anymore just Done. shes irrelevant #drop her. go do literally anything else #imagine how nice it would be if she puts a show out and nobody talks about it good or baf #bad*. and then theyll be less likely to do more. bc they cant count on it being clickbait that ppl are getting heated about #cos i think this is just. shes in her cancelled comedian netflix special era. shes getting specials about being cancelled and shes Only #getting them bc shes 'cancelled' cos if ppl didnt feel strongly about her good OR BAD it wouldnt get clicks it wouldnt get attention #i wish we could afford to do this i wish ppl would just be fucking allies to trans and jewish ppl about this #im so tired #anyway. ill leave reblogs on this for now. if anyone fucks up they get turned off