#and it really shouldnt be this big a deal

[angelboybreakdowns]

nothing worse than repeatedly, clearly telling your family how much something hurts you. bringing up every time they do it how uncomfortable this makes you and what an important boundary it is to you. and yet they still keep doing it and treating it like some funny little joke.

#i know this shouldnt be a big deal. #but my mom and sister constantly take videos pictures etc of me #i really really dont like being filmed #i explain to them every time they do it (probably about twice a day on average) how upset it makes me #especially because its usually things like filming me dancing or taking pictures of me sitting weirdly #so they can send them to their friends #and mock me #(not conjecture or paranoia they literally tell me thats what they do with them) #and. its such a small thing #and it really shouldnt be this big a deal #i know that #but on the other hand #if its so unimportant #why is it so hard for them to not do it? #why dont they just stop #there is literally no way they dont know how much it hurts me #that they take situations in which im happy and comfortable and make them something to be self conscious or embarrassed about #i tell them.every time. i have explained to them so many times how hurtful it is. #so the only possibility at this point is that they are deliberately hurting me just be a they think its funny #my happiness my comfort my ability to unmask partly in my own home all matter less than a cheap laugh #tags are a personal vent but main post ok to rb

[blinkpen]

appropriate for such intelligent animals with excellent memory in life, the spirits of elephants are much more prone to focused manifestation.

vengeful creatures that infect and assimilate human tooth pulp, the best dental hygiene in the world will not save you from an infestation of enamel mites. after all, a rotten tooth is hardly a moral failing, and flawless teeth are hardly a sign of goodness; the enamel mites know this, because they remember what your bright white smile looked like, before they heard a BOOM, and woke up in your mouth.

...but you will never smile like that again. they will make sure of it.

#mog art #horror #body horror #veins cw #dental horror cw #animal death implied #it'd be kind of hilarious to put 'big game hunters DNI' in a bio as if there's a sizeable population of those on this of all websites #but if somehow there is a rich dipshit reading this who ever went Huh! local recreational animal murder for funsies ain't good enough #gotta go to another country whose people shouldnt have to deal with my ennui & kill their megafauna to feel REALLY special and badass #...why would i put you on a DNI friend! please Interact! #specifically by giving me your bank account information and then coordinating to meet me in a wide open field somewhere #....alone

[hibiskuit]

Okay, so the tangled series obviously has its flaws but NOTHING makes me more mad than the fact that nobody is singing these incantations?? When we learned there are more incantations I thought we would get some cool variations on the flower theme but NO, they all just... speak.

#i am actually really disappointed by this #like everytime someone says an incantation I start screaming at my screen #why is noone singing these?! #and this shouldnt be such a big deal #but it makes me so mad :D #tangled #tangled the series

[newvegascowboy]

also im gonna be honest, while i think rdr is a fantastic game and a well written tragedy, i really dont jive with the ultimate message of "nothing is forgiven and nothing gets forgotten". i get that at the core of thing, both John and Arthur have done some pretty heinous shit and that no amount of good deeds can make up for the lives they've taken, but so many people suffer unnecessarily, including them. the whole message of "it doesnt matter if you try" is just like... man. ok i guess.

#not fallout #kal talks #rdrposting #look i KNOW why they get the endings they do and i KNOW they're written this way intentionally because they're tragic characters #just. #i dont like it #redemption through dying is never my fave metric #being able to choose who you are and KEEP making that choice even when it would be easier not to #that is much more meaningful to me than 'you fucked up big time and thats IT for you buddy!!!' #the game vacillates wildly between 'we all make mistakes and we're all bad in some way but that doesnt mean we shouldnt keep trying' #to #'try all you want but you will never rise above your worst self' #both arthur and john really deserved to deal with the consequences of their actions but they cant do that when theyre dead

[soldier-poet-king]

Anyway I'm eating a chocolate bar for breakfast

#the duality of fran #this is a new low #i dont even feel low tho i feel good and kinda happy #i just really wanted a chocolate bar. i rarely indulge this much and for breakfast no less #but im just. yeah! im gonna eat chocolate for breakfast #normally i have breakfast on break at work and its super healthy #today. i deserve a lil treat #for no other reason than i am glad to be alive this morning #catsitting all next week which means being out of my parents house #and downtown and close to THINGS AND PEOPLE #i can just have a casual coffee in a cafe a weekend morning. go shopping. wander around the thrift markets #The possibilities are endless when u are within walking distance of things #im SO excited over this little thing. it shouldnt be a big deal. but my heart is so happy #even if the living out of my suitcase in another person's living space is anxiety inducing for me #bc routines and all that #GOD if rent wasnt insane in the city i would be so happy to move into a community #where everything is accessible by walking or. a short subway trip #I MISS THAT KIND OF LIFE SO BAD OK

[beetrootsoupdragon]

i know this makes me sound like a huge bitch but i hate all my friends. there is one who is a nice person and the rest are all really overdramatic my god!! istg keeping up with who in the group is on speaking terms with the others at any given time should be a full time sport they're so petty (and i know i am as well for literally making a tumblr post abt them but i cant complain to anyone irl but that would make me a horrible person (that doesnt stop the rest of them they never stop talking abt people behind their back))

the problem is that 2 of them are actually my friends and so i have to hang out with the rest of them. aslo i decided to enter a competiton with one of them which was a mistake bcs it takes place over several months and shes now decided she hates being in the same place as me like im sorry but you guys need to grow up.

#two of them who ar elike really close friends once didnt talk to each other for a full week bcs one of them didnt smile when the other came #into the room like these guys are unbelievably petty #istg there is just a never ending flood of the pettiest drama that shouldnt be a big deal #but everyone so largely overreacts abt it #to delete

[mae-i-scribble]

ruri dragon is a series yes. the author went into hiatus for two years and theyre finally out of hiatus! :D its very exciting

I had heard the author went into hiatus and just kinda assumed it would be one of those things that never got picked up again, but boy am I happy to be proven wrong. Immediately after finding out I went and read all the available chapters and they were lovely as expected. Super excited to keep up with it!! Cannot wait to see whatever batshit powers she gets XD That and I want to see her dad in a full color spread author please i am on my hands and knees

#ruri dragon #i am a lover of dragons so its always nice to find more good dragon manga #im also a big fan of how the author portrays teens and school life #the casualness of it all really helps sell the slice of life angle #and it already has vibes of like #mythical creatures not really being well known but still a part of society? #like ruri and her classmates dont thibk dragons are real #but also very quickly adjust when they have proof that dragons are in fact real #and one of em is ruri's dad #including the adults around her #its a nice spin on things where usually a lot of focus would have been put into the whole #'how do i hide this/how do people deal with the knowledge of the supernatural existing' #sort of thing that i was more expecting #which tbf the oneshot is also very casual (one of the reasons i loved it) so i suppose i shouldnt be too surprised #but im very happy nonetheless

[pezpenser205]

3am monday morning mood

#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here #op #........................................................................................................................................... #........................................................................................................................ #...................................................................................................................... #....................................................................................................................... #........................................................... #............................................................ #sui mention tw if you read further for some odd reason #was highkey wanting to change my mind before the date came but now im not so sure thats gonna happen #i dont have a lot of time #2 days is not enough to get a job or change my mind so i dont even know what im gonna do #i feel like im dreaming all the time #'i dont know what im gonna do' is for sure a lie though i damn well know come on now #its simple a + b = c math #(im a waste of resources) + (i dont even like being here and am not a person anymore) = (i shouldnt be here) #i think my family will get over it like none of them even talk to me anymore (not that i make it easy but still) #i have nothing that somebody else cant have or do better than me its not that big of a deal. #like literally i cant fucking comprehend what anyone would like about me anymore #everything bad about me so clearly outweighs the 1/10 times i can be funny or dependable or considerate. #im just taking advantage of others' compassion at this point #when i say 'i am not a person' i mean that with 100% sincerity #i get surprised and scared when people talk to me and have no concept of self and no real hobbies. im just empty im not even angry anymore #im beyond unhinged tbh i have zero self awareness and feel like im the only person like me that exists and im rambling- #-and oversharing all the time and talking over others because i fail to even really understand or consider what theyre saying anymore #-and simultaneously i feel too unremarkable to be worthy of life #i feel like im playing my entire life in VR like nobody and nothing here is real. none of you are even real. #this feels the same as typing in a word document i just always feel alone no matter who im talking to or what im doing #i feel like the only real person in the world and the only one that shouldnt be here #i cant even bring myself to feel scared of death. im just. nothing. even when im crying i dont feel anything at all

[mouseratz]

on prev post: "this is ace erasure" you're not gonna believe this but some asexual people also have fetishes or engage in kink stuff. that is true. it is fine if that's not your experience but there are a broad range of other experiences people can have.

at no point did the post imply that without sexuality everything is meaningless, but rather was a criticism of how hard people work to erase sexuality from their creative work & world for fear of the taboo (and to the benefit of advertisers, in that weird way they want to imply sex with their products yet never show anything actually sexual). so you should not be afraid to be weird & sometimes weirdly sexual in art. that's the point, not that "if you don't like sex or have fetishes you're a stupid baby and I hate you".

so. idk sometimes it feels like bad actors willfully misread posts just to start shit which is why I am not directly replying but man.

#also obligatory no by fetishes i dont mean kid stuff i dont mean Anything Goes #i mean more like. really liking weird stuff is not a crime & i think it shouldnt be a big deal.

[zemnarihah]

hm. my dad is now aware that i have slept over at eriks when i visit him.

#dont love that. #he brought it up bc i have an aunt and uncle in his city and i think he was going to offer to like see if i could stay with them at some #point to visit him #he was like have you thought of visiting erik in (city)? and i was like. yeah #and he was like. have you? and i was like. yeah. and he was like how many times? and i said twice and he was like oh. where did you stay? #and i said. eriks place. and he was like. oh. well you know you have an aunt and uncle there that would let you stay right? and i was like. #yeah i know. and it was in front of my mom and sister and brother in law and HIS sister and everyone was so quiet because they know how my #dad is #and i was like in the process of leaving so i just like said bye to everybody real quick and left so im still like. agh. scawed! #idk why even its not like theres anything he can do to me its just like. god i really want to have peace with him i do not want to ever hav #another lecture from him or get yelled at by him again idk im still scared of that. and he hasnt even met erik yet and probably has a #terrible impression of him now just based off of that even though i am always telling them great stuff about him i dont want HIM to deal #with that especially because i do not think that he would take as much bullshit which he shouldnt have to but god i just have this vision o #my dad like. pulling erik aside for a talk or something if they ever meet and trying to scare him and them getting into an argument bc erik #would stand up for himself #idk who knows if that will happen im literally making up scenarios in my head to scare myself but christ. \ #the thing is also at this point in my life i just like. i have to keep moving forward in like. the whole living my life without constantly #thinking about the church's and my dad and the rest of my family's expectations. I have to. I almost lied to him but i didnt and thats #really big progress but im still so scared. but whatever. do it scared. agh!

[girlwithfish]

pushing ppl away is not fun 😍

#now i have to lay in my beddd 🫂bc i got irrationally angry when my bf came into the bathroom where i was crying 😍nd then i had to cry #in bed instead #and im still angry or upset for some reason abt monday which i shouldnt be but i guess i havent really processed or even tho it was resolve #resolved i still have bad feelings abt it apparently and im just like lost i guess. idk what u do when u relapse i just ignore it after #I guess it doesnt rly feel like a big deal to me but the whole aftermath and conflict made me want to kms so thats mainly why i probably #wont do it again bc its too painful and messy and makes me suicidall lol #So whatever #But i guess i feel a little angry #Idk #I think itd be better to just ignore it #Anyway at least i made really good pesto eggon toast for myself and a coffee to cheer myself up #nd im probably a little irritable and insane rn bc i wait to eat until evening and then wonder why im like insane and evil. lol #Im just sad nd hate my body face existence i want to die i want to be held i want to disappear i dont want to do anything #feeling ok never lasts etc #Had a big cry for like three minutes now im normal again #need to take my exam soon so ig ill just be busy for 2hrs nd not worrying abt my stupid bullshit pathetic life bye #Then im gonna check my mail bc tab sent me smth <3

[caffeinatedopossum]

Tw csa

I've been fighting myself on this so hard for so long, not knowing wether or not I can be justified in saying I'm a sa victim or not. But I just kind of have to accept that what I went through will simply never be 'bad enough' for some people to validate me and the only thing that actually matters is how I'm being affected now and how I was hurt as a kid.

Even if what happened in my early life wasn't strictly sa happening to me, even if it was on this weird blurry line of weird but not quite csa, it doesn't matter. Even if it was just the environment of csa being normalized by parents and happening to my sisters and nothing actually happening to *me*, that's still damaging, right? I feel like it is but it's so hard to trust myself.

I don't really remember a lot of my life and I had never been exposed to what is and isn't sa beyond just "rape bad" until I was much older. Not just that but I watched both my sisters being heavily gaslit by our mom when they tried to report the abuse.. I wonder if that affected me too.

#sorry i just really needed to talk about this because its been rotting in my brain for years now #now that im finally working through some of it it all feels a lot more messed up than i realized #but at the same time i feel like its not a big deal and i shouldnt care

[saoirseuwu]

weird saoirse thoughts in tags, continue scrolling ^^

#saoirse rants #idk i just want to #put it out in the universe #so #i changed my name #awesome #family is trying #they are getting better remembering #great #but idk why #when they talk about when i was little #and they forget the name thing #and i correct them #they go you were deadname back than #and it kinda stings #i tell them i was never really that name #but i guess they are kind of correct #and it shouldnt be that big of a deal #they are trying now #and respecting my name change #just stinky feelings

[acaciapines]

(big sigh) so i took a shower and came out of it 30 minutes later with an entire outline for my depressing krisralsei au.

it is about...everyone moving on and kris being stuck in the past....like originally this idea was what if kris and ralsei never went through their character arcs (specifically the ones they have in i know im not well and homegrown hearts) but the more i think on it the more im like NO because ralsei would still have susie and noelle so she would go through the majority of her arc with them but kris. kris who pushed everyone away. kris who is stuck with boss-darkner-ifed dess. oh kris. oooooooh kris.

#chatter #i just really want to write a story about being aromantic #and like. look you can for sure analyze Me As A Person here #but idk. found the label loveless aro and sorta #i just feel like i want to tell a story about that and kris this ones on you #bc like.....i think about them A Lot #anyways sorry ive been in a krisralsei mood recetly #and i love that ship the best when it literally doesnt work out even #so! #homegrown hearts had ralsei pining but here. oh here #its about knowing someone had a crush on you #and shouldnt you return that? youre dating someone and you dont love them #so you have to love this other person right? #because everyone loves people. unless theyre broken #because love has to be the most important thing #so maybe you just have to force it #maybe if you keep pushing this will finally work #and if you arent happy and you hate yourself and you sorta lowkey want to die #bc then at least you dont have to deal with being the only human in a town of monsters-- #anyways kris you got a big storm coming

[corvidcall]

its been a minute since ive talked about ttrpgs, because i havent really played any since I got a job (booo 👎👎👎) but i guess since i have everyones attention i just want to say:

play Good Society. its my favorite

#anime life #before all this copyright bs was happening #my opinion was that i thought every ttrpg player should play dnd and Good Society at least once #because to me they are opposites and i think playing both of them gives you a really good idea of what ttrpgs are capable of #both high fantasy lotr ass adventures where you fight your way through. idk orcs and necromancers and stuff and eventually kill god or smth #and also gmless really subdued jane austen-ass relationship drama where you write each other letters sometimes #but you shouldnt play dnd now. play uh. pathfinder??? ive never played pathfinder. #and also one of the things i think was good about dnd was how much content there was about it that made it really easy to learn #you could just find other peoples adventures and homebrew content for basically. everything you could want #and idk if theres any other games that have that same amount of resources #but its not a big deal i guess and im not going to look into it #play good society tho. its great

[grandpa-cephalopods]

(There’s a Tentatek headband with Ink Saver Main on Splatnet today!)

(Tentatek’s brand ability is Ink Recovery Up, which synergies well with Ink Saver Main.)

#ooc #(I'm a very big fan of recovery up it hasn't let me down yet #people really like to sacrifice it to run other abilities which makes it easier to outlast them in a 1v1 #I especially appreciate it when running Oldtavio's Dynamo or other ink-heavy weapons #tbf though in this generation Comeback is also REALLY GOOD and the native ability of the tentatek headband) #(It becomes that Ink Saver Main whenever you die and more #so if you have a problem dealing with players in Turf War //everyone #then it is just as valid) #(You know what you shouldnt run this generation though? Quick Respawn #Nerfed to hell- It only activates if you don't splat anyone before you die #which is innately wasting a life alskdjg #if anyone kills you that much just keep an eye on them and avoid engaging them since they're countering your playstyle)