#the top five posts are incredibly thematic of me

[xivu-arath]

I posted 9,729 times in 2022

508 posts created (5%)

9,221 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eri-223

@synnthamonsugar

@vergess

@cappurrccino

@soothinghymn

I tagged 6,252 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#destiny - 1,982 posts

#queue - 1,695 posts

#gif - 593 posts

#the hive - 391 posts

#destiny ocs - 257 posts

#osmium sorrows - 232 posts

#swtor - 217 posts

#pokemon - 195 posts

#hollow knight - 161 posts

#the witch queen - 139 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#mostly i have a lot of friends who play on one server and i'd like to go back at some point to get to play with them at least once in my li

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

a collection of hive headcanons

physical touch and presence are very significant for the hive. it starts from thrallhood, when the world is defined by what you can fit between your teeth and what is under your claws. later it becomes more complex and potent. proximity can be a challenge or a threat, true affection or the lure for a trap. yet all of these can still mean love

thralls hatch in large broods and stick together, both when hunting and at rest. numbers mean safety, and a greater chance to escape danger in the crowd. hive overseeing thrall often get tired of herding them from place to place (and often more than a few stray or get lost or start fights) and will transport them in a great wriggling tangle like a thrall katamari

thrall will bite anything and everything, but it isn’t always from hunger. often a bite can be curious and investigative, or even reassuring - sometimes you gnaw on part of your brood to know that they’re still there

becoming a knight is a fairly simple thing - just a matter of gathering enough strength for a period of rushed growth. becoming a wizard is more complicated. wizards guard the method closely, encouraging acolytes to have to seek it out through threats, leverage or digging in secret places. it is a known chokepoint and often a problem in more isolated broods, where a lone wizard will try to ensure no rivals can arise. wizard-heavy courts such as the high coven operate on a complex and esoteric web of favours, sponsorship and tithe chains to get around this

performances are a big deal. ascendant hive will often go all out with showcases of specialized spells or group rituals, or performing shared stories and notable history - complete with dying if your role demands it. bad or merely boring shows also tend to end in death, from an unamused audience

the deathsong is always a hit, but by necessity debuts prior to or during battles. only wizards with a great deal of power and influence can get away with killing off a chunk of their armies for a show

art shows up in other ways too - in the evolution and adaptation of runes and sigils, the eternal and very lethal debates about individualized spells versus brutally optimized ones. there is expertise and pride in the making of shriekers and ships, and the design of war moons. it is all drowned in a singular purpose, and so unrecognizable to any outside the hive

79 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

#4

KRILL KRILL KRILL KRILL KRILL

80 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#3

my charr necromancer ossath bonesire, by the lovely (and impressively fast) @spindlewit!

I love so much about this, but the little minion is so unfathomably cute that I can’t look at it for long. yes ossath might look ragged and menacing and tends to carry an extra skull around just in case but he’s got a little baby on his shoulder!!!

82 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

#2

I’m Really Feeling Something about that statue of oryx fighting akka enshrined in what savathun proclaims is tantamount to her mind

she really doesn’t refer to oryx much on-screen, apart from lightly hinting towards him and ghaul in the same breath in one of this season’s friendly conversations. she’s much more comfortable discussing xivu. how could she not, when her sister is, for all intents and purposes, gunning for her? (I am still holding out hope they’re working together in secret but! who knows!) but oryx is... a layered absence, I think the closest we have in her private lore is the yearning and loss she expresses in the hawkmoon lore tab

the statue is also quite likely a commentary on her feelings about worms, so it can serve a lot of purposes at once. very efficient of her

106 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

things I appreciate about gw2:

- silly quests where you’re transformed into or disguised as various things. I just spent some time running around as a pig yesterday, it reminds me of the quests in lotro where you’re a chicken

- all the map completion

- progressing events on the map that temporarily affect it, like bridges being torn down

- sometimes an event has a whole little chain depending on if you succeed or fail. fighting off an attack might lead to repairing an outpost and then assembling a team to take out an important enemy or structure. or failing to defend a bridge means protecting the engineers that come along to fix it

- just the general richness of each area with npcs and ambient dialogue, many moving around and doing their own things

338 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#long post #hi mutuals I love you #the top five posts are incredibly thematic of me #year in review

[lucky-bishop]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @lavender-lotion love u!!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

80 as of this week! 79 Teen Wolf and 1 WWDITS 😂

What's your total ao3 word count?

662,501. Which is insane to me. But I've already posted 78k so far this year!

What fandoms do you write for?

First and foremost is Teen Wolf. But I have a few works in WWDITS, Stranger Things, and Scream. Most of them are WIPs, and only one is posted to AO3.

Top five fics by kudos:

Hearts in the Byline, Steter, E, 62,395 words

Kinky Antics with the Pack (Kinktober 2022), Multi-Pairing, E, 53,103 words

The Empty-Nester Alpha, Steter, E, 16,306 words

Try, Try Again, Steterek, E, 35,241 words

Mask of Many Faces, Steter, M, 22,806 words

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Sometimes I'm slow or it takes me a while, but I largely respond to all comments. Sometimes if I don't know what to say to a comment, I won't say anything, but that's pretty rare.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Um. That is tough. I do love angst. I'm going to cheat and give two because they are angsty in very different ways. Major character death vs whump.

For This I'll Burn, No Pairing, E, 4,409 words

Sharing is Caring, Steterek, E, 15,322 words

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Also tough! I have a few that are very happy. But I think I have to go with:

The "No-Bite" Rule, Steter, M, 3,869

Steter HEA.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not often, thankfully. But yes, I have.

Do you write smut?

Sure do!

Craziest crossover:

I haven't written anything that's a crossover, I don't think. I do have a BTVS/Teen Wolf crossover in my long list of WIPs, though. Have the closest thing I have to a crossover - Sleeping Beauty AU.

That Gleam in Your Eyes, Deter, E, 7,393 words

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! The "No-Bite" Rule was translated into Ukranian. Being asked by the translator if this was okay was a beautiful moment that made me incredibly happy. 💖

Правило "Жодних укусів"

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not! But I would. Maybe @thotpuppy and I will write that baseball AU someday.

All time favourite ship?

It's so hard to pick, but it has to be Steter. I always come back to them.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I think it's pretty unlikely I'll ever finish my Stargent fic where Chris uses Stiles as a surrogate daughter after Allison's death. But never say never!

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say tone is my biggest writing strength. I try to have my works be very thematic and emotionally connected, and I think that comes across well for the most part.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions! And action! I guess "movement" if I had to provide a single answer. This can cause my writing to feel very choppy and it's something I do acknowledge and try to work on.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I'll do pet names, single word translations, things like that. I try not to write outside of what I know, though. Maybe someday I'll incorporate my rusty German into fic, who knows?

First fandom you wrote in?

MCU. Those works have been orphaned/abandoned. Good riddance lol. It's just been Teen Wolf since then. My (current) first fic on AO3:

Clean Plates, Sterek, T+, 3,118 words

Favorite fic you've written?

Oooooooooooh again. This is really hard. But I think it has to be:

Down to the Marrow, Steter, E, 23,206 words

Managing an unreliable narrator was not easy. But I'm so happy with the end result. And there's beautiful art by @tarantula-teeth. I love this fic with my whole heart.

No-pressure tags (and I'm sorry if you've already been tagged and I missed it!): @tarantula-teeth, @dear-massacre, @meggie-stardust, @punchedbymarkesmith, @aurevell, @midmorning-bomb, @vmures

#my writing #tag game #teen wolf

[alliluyevas]

3, 6, and 16 for the book asks?

What were your top five books of the year?

The Hemingses of Monticello: An American Family by Annette Gordon-Reed (2008).

My parents and I went to Monticello about a month ago and I picked this up in the gift shop. My parents had visited in 1972 (my dad) and 1991 (my mom) and I had never been, and obviously a LOT has changed in how they talk about history at Monticello in the last 30-50 years. I think that the current exhibitions and tours at the site are really doing a good job of engaging with the stories of the enslaved people who lived at Monticello, both Sally Hemings and her children + the extended Hemings family and members of other families, but I definitely wanted to know more. (side note: for my Virginia/DMV followers or anyone who ever happens to be in the Charlottesville area, it is really worth visiting! Absolutely fascinating and they're doing great public history work.)

I literally could not put this book down, I read it in a week while working full time and finishing up graduate school applications. It's beautifully written and absolutely captivating. Gordon-Reed does fantastic work both with existing primary sources and fleshing out some of the things we will never know because no one wrote or spoke about them. It's a deeply sad story and left me feeling very raw, but also thinking about resilience and the eternal complexities of the human heart.

Sally in Three Worlds: An Indian Captive in the House of Brigham Young by Virginia Kerns (2021).

Copy-pasting my Goodreads review: This is an incredibly powerful book that tries to give voice to the story of a woman who was profoundly marginalized both in life and in history, and to the complex dynamics between peoples as Mormon settlers colonized Utah. Kerns does a magnificent job of weaving Sally's story out of source material that is rich in many respects and deeply limited in others. Her writing style is also really compelling: lyrical, poetic, and deeply felt. It also gave me a completely new frame of reference for the history of women in Mormonism and for the dynamics of the Young household. A deeply upsetting book but also one I could not recommend enough.

I actually posted about this last night, but there are a lot of interesting thematic similarities between this book and Hemingses of Monticello. Again, directly copy-pasting from last night's post: They're about very different cultural contexts but deal with similar subjects in many ways: race, gender, slavery, and very complicated familial dynamics...I think both books also do a really good job of portraying the life of a woman (poignantly, the two women actually share the same first name) who left nothing in her own words.

I used the word "painful intimacy" in my first post about Sally in Three Worlds, and I think it very much applies to the household dynamics portrayed in both books.

Like a Fiery Meteor: The Life of Joseph F. Smith by Stephen Taysom (2023).

Again, stealing from my own Goodreads review (I'm the only person who has reviewed this book on GR, rip): I think a non-hagiographical full-length biography of Joseph F. Smith was long overdue, and I was very excited to read this, but I did not expect to find it as emotionally compelling and thought-provoking as I did. Taysom does a fantastic job of telling the story not just of Joseph F., who comes off by turns as both deeply sympathetic and deeply unlikable, but of his expansive polygamist family and their environment. I think this was a very compassionate, nuanced portrait of someone who had deep and profound unaddressed trauma that affected his whole life, and who was capable of both overwhelming love and cruel, controlling and even violent behavior towards his loved ones. I think the book is very aware of that dichotomy and the factors that shaped Joseph F.'s life and choices and is full of really fantastic analysis. I thought the discussion of gender roles and how they related to Joseph F.'s struggles with both anger and anxiety and his interpretation of those feelings was particularly well-done.

These were definitely my top three books of the year, and honestly just fantastic works of historical/biographical storytelling period. I read Sally in Three Worlds in May, Fiery Meteor in June, and Hemingses of Monticello a month ago, and all three of the books have really stuck with me. They're all quite haunting, and very thought-provoking, even months later.

Go Down, Moses by William Faulkner (1942).

I read this much earlier in the year, but again it actually intersects really well as a fictional counterpart to The Hemingses of Monticello. Go Down, Moses is a novel formed out of seven interconnected short stories, centering on the black and white halves of the same family, unacknowledged cousins. I've loved Faulkner's writing since high school (well, really since I read A Rose for Emily in seventh grade, but I read The Sound and the Fury in high school) and I wanted to expand my exposure to his work. I have yet to read anything by Faulkner where I wasn't just blown away by the literary quality of his prose, and I think the interlocking stories setup of the book was very effective.

I did think back to this book and Southern Gothic in general several times while reading about the Hemings-Jefferson family--it's not like I wasn't aware of the historical context behind southern gothic as a genre but it really made it very explicit. Especially during the parts of the book talking about Jefferson's white family and their efforts to create a family legacy that explicitly left out the Hemings relatives, and then thinking about future generations of white southerners like Faulkner engaging--or not engaging--with this past. Like--this is the ghost haunting the house, this is the rot at the heart of the family tree.

Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland (2007).

This feels a bit odd thematically tacked on at the end here, because while it's not like this book is just totally light-hearted, it's not literally about intensely traumatic interpersonal relationships in the way that the previous four are. It is, however, a really great historical fiction novel! It's about the creation of the painting by Pierre-Auguste Renoir that shares the same title, with several narrators--Renoir and some of the people who sat for the painting--telling an overlapping story. The prose is fantastic, which you don't see as often as I'd like in histfic, I really felt the rich sensory development of the historical world, and Vreeland does a great job of fleshing out complex and compelling characters and relationships.

Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Oh, so much, lol. As well as long-term TBR stuff that will roll over to next year, there are a couple newly released books that I just picked up from the library that I hope to read in the next couple weeks before the year is over/before they go back to the library. (The Vaster Wilds and Master Slave Husband Wife. I can't renew them because they're "hot picks" and a bunch of other people have them on hold.)

What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

I already answered this one in a previous ask, and honestly I can't think of another book I read that I would call over-hyped per se.

#this is soooooo long sorry i got hype. lots going on this year

[buckets-and-trees]

‘Into cursed pixie dust’ was the first fic I read from you I think aspen and I was stunned. I’d never read anything like it before and I thought it was such a beautiful take on the winter soldier and it instantly made me follow you. I can’t explain how you made me feel with it, I just know it blew me away and I wanted to let you know how much of an incredible writer you are 💗

Thank you, Mollie! You sharing this is incredibly special to my heart. I know I talk about my heart a lot when talking about writing or reading things, but I really do engage my heart a fair amount of the time, and that's one of the reasons I do adore creating and engaging with other creators in this fandom - there's so much that can be shared and experienced across the board. But I really do mean it.

The Brooklyn Boys was the series I started out posting here, but Into Cursed Pixie Dust was the first one-shot. I had the concept, researched, and posted it in the space of about a week, which...idk, sometimes I write things quickly and sometimes slowly, but that one with all the research that went into it, topping out at almost 9k, and having the soft dark and smutty components that it did, it felt kind of magical that it came together in one week.

It's stayed in the top five or so of my favorite stories. It meant a lot to me. I adore where it went thematically, emotionally. I loved the challenges I felt like I was able to meet as a writer.

But then like... Mollie, you saying it resonated with you? And another friend read it and commented this week with similar sentiment, and it's not like this fic has gone crazy with comments or anything, but it's not isolated comments so it seems even more special because it's like it's really not just my story anymore.

I need to go blush a lot now. I certainly got verbose in answering this ask, but my heart was full. Is full. And on top of that I'm even more sentimental since I've been able to get to know you even better recently, so it's just a lot of feels. 💚

Just...thank you for sending this for celebrating with me for this sleepover.

#aspen asks #aspen's anniversary sleepover #mollie/sebstanwhore #into cursed pixie dust #sleepover event

[adanseydivorce]

andrew nico and blue classic

Hi sorry I got to the asks for this so late this one took a long time, I actually realized I had the opportunity to post it on your birthday but I didn’t quite manage but anyway consider this a belated birthday present if my rambling tangents qualify as such to you <33

Blue Sargent

three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1) her favorite musical is Wicked and she identified with Elphaba 2) I think she has some sensory issues which is why she’s so particular about certain textures of clothing, food etc. and I definitely like to read her as neurodivergent 3) I hc her as non-white in Maura’s side I especially like picturing her as desi which you could say is projection and you’d be right, but generally I think of her as a brown girl.

a reason they suck: her judgmental streak is real, and she’s very proud and yes these things together can influence her towards being a bit of a hypocrite.

a reason they are great: Idk how to pick just one thing I am infamously Not normal about this girl she remains my favorite ya book girl to this day.. But I really love how passionate Blue is and also how kind of self-possessed she is about her own feelings, she’s very in tune with her own individuality and what she desires out of life: seeing the world, exploring, finding ways to help make the world better, having her own path that she determines not a set destiny, wanting lasting meaningful relationships and friendships that are maybe more intense than is technically healthy etc. she searches for something more and doesn’t entirely know how to get there/what that path is but she’s intent on carving out that path for herself and finding that knowledge, and then the area she’s least in tune with herself about is like, romance and particularly the way to feel about Gansey in the first few books which I really like as a dichotomy ((and it’s part of why Bluesey reads like a lesbian narrative cough)), that passionate nature is also what allows her to be extremely loving and brave and creative and I generally love that about her. Also this is an unpopular opinion but the way she thinks and her personality does feel like a very real teenage girl, I think Maggie did a good job writing her voice in that department and that wasn’t ever a problem with how she wrote Blue the problem with how she wrote her was, as I say later, the fact that Maggie wasn’t interested in the follow-through of her arc/how Blue’s personality which was very fleshed out, would change/develop outside of happening to develop certain relationships. Oh I also love how curious she is I love character who constantly want to know what is up with everything which will continue to be a theme in the other asks … I’ll quit while I’m ahead here I love her but also really am due for a reread which is why this is coming out so incoherently.

a reason I relate to them: I relate a lot to her mindset of loving whimsical things but striving to be practical in my pursuit of whimsy, I also just relate to a lot of her personality (besides how brave/risk-taking she can be which is not me at all lmao) and thought processes she’s one of the chars I most identify with in fiction generally… and a lot of it can be tied to the fact we’re both 4w5’s tbh. I also was raised mainly by multiple maternal figures I strive to emulate and grew up not thinking well of male authority figures <3

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: for otp it’s Bluesey obviously my parents who raised me… I really really love Blue x Noah too but it’s more elite tier. Imfor ot3 there are actually 3 options which I find really appealing I think Gansey/Blue/Noah Blue/Gansey/Henry and Blue/Gansey/Adam all have excellent ot3 potential but I’m going to go with the latter because it’s the messiest option and I like to have fun. Three incredibly fucked up bisexuals who were obsessed w each other in thematically fascinating ways.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1. I loved the parts of Bllb that focused on Blue learning about her powers with Gwenllian and that dynamic as a vehicle for her becoming in tune with being a mirror/witch should have continued as a storyline in TRK the way Adam and Ronan’s abilities continued to be relevant to the story, the conclusion to the arc could’ve still been Blue learning about the Artemis-tree situation but i wanted more reflection from her on what these powers are going to mean for her going forward and not just “oh yeah I guess it makes sense I’m part tree” 2. Her arc towards becoming less judgmental shouldn’t have just been “I guess I need to not be so mean to rich white boys” I wish she had actually gotten to grapple with her mindsets about class and gender more, and obviously I adore her dynamics with the boys and the 300 Fox way ladies but I wanted her . 3) I love Maura but I kind of wish Blue had been allowed to be mad at her about disappearing at the end of TDT for longer after she had come back (her moments of anger before Maura gets back are incredible I love her interactions with Calla when they both are missing her too), especially since Bllb is when Persephone and Jesse die and the anticipation of Gansey’s loss are really building and getting to Blue so I think it would be really natural for her to double down on transferring those emotions to her mother who is safe for her to be mad at. 4) I do kind of like that Artemis himself wasn’t that relevant to Blue when he showed up lol, but I still think Blue should have gotten to actually know him and deal with some of her feelings about being abandoned by him that were definitely There in earlier books. She could get to let out her feelings and get to know him a little and then still feel unimpressed by him / that he’s not a real guardian figure to her the way Maura Calla and Jimmi are and Persephone was. That would work for me <3 5) Generally TRK failed to resolve what Blue was going to do with her future aside from the Bluesey/Sarchengsey of it all (both of which I love but come on) I haven’t read Greywaren yet but I am glad there was some lip service to that and it made decent sense for her char. (Also should be said that my last reread of the first two books was in 2019 so while I like to think of myself as a Blue expert still my memory of some things might not be that sharp.)

five people that character never fell in love with and why

1)Adam —- I actually do like Blue/Adam it’s

the type of pairing where hindsight made me appreciate it more and find it more interesting as it exists in the story. Blue not falling for Adam had multiple factors so it’s hard to pinpoint just one, part of it was definitely that for Blue liking Adam better than Gansey went hand in hand with the idea of her as someone who wasn’t bound to a specific fate, and that wasn’t fair to him (Adam also had reasons to fixate on Blue that weren’t fair to her but this isn’t about his side of things, even though that also added to creating a distance within their relationship which is part of why), so part of it is based on the circumstances around their relationship, also I don’t think necessarily that they’re incompatible romantically personality wise but they definitely both honed in on certain similarities between them and assumed that would mean perfect compatibility when that wasn’t the case. In a different storyline maybe they could’ve gotten there, within the timeline and structure of the story not really.

2)Noah —- Literally Noah said it himself it’s because he’s not alive… yet at the same time from what we know of Noah pre-death he didn’t sound like someone Blue would like much at all, so that makes the whole “I’d ask you out if I was alive.” “I’d say yes.” thing even more tragic, although Blue very much does mean it for the Noah that is right now if He could live.

3)Ronan — this is just on here because I needed more people lol I actually wasn’t sure who to put after Adam. But Blue could never be attracted to Ronan because she likes a particular flavor of fruity pathetic boys like she likes fruity nerdy and pathetic not fruity Ronan is fruity but isn’t the right kind of pathetic for her at all he’s too harsh and fiery, and similar to Blue herself but not in a way that attracts her at all.

4)Kavinsky — She hated him and would never interact with him willingly there’s really not much depth I can add here. Also the way he spoke to her in their one scene in tdt was disgusting the fact for a long time there were parts of the fandom that cared way more about him and the dream pack than Blue and the 300 fox way women Grrr

5)Helen — This is my crack pairing that I felt passionately about in the year 2013 she didn’t fall in love with Helen simply because she didn’t get the chance to. But I think she could’ve if they met like 5 years post series and Blue hadn’t met Gansey yet so.

Andrew Minyard

three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1. He’s a fan of horror media specifically slasher films (also old movies in general but that’s canon from some of the things he’s referenced in dialogue) 2. Only half a headcanon/generally this is very based on the texts but I do think Nora is right about him being bipolar (something she says in the E.C. But it was a while ago so she used out dated terminology) and based on meta I’ve read from people more well-versed in the subject than myself and far more than Nora, I agree that he’s Bipolar II and has C-PTSD, and is also probably on the autism spectrum. 3. He says his favorite color is black but it is actually blue (like Neil’s eyes lol)

a reason they suck: I mean if I met him in real life I would definitely be bothered by how inflexible his judgements of the world and other people are and by his inclination for violence, but narratively I’m more than fine with all those things tbh.

a reason they are great: am going to refrain from writing an essay here and just mention a few qualities I really like about him: extreme loyalty and protectiveness towards his ‘people’, incredibly intelligent and perceptive in how he reads people and situations, always driven to seek knowledge as a means of controlling circumstances for those he cares about and himself but also just because he’s a nosy bitch, and then I have a hard time explaining some other things especially since you haven’t finished the series but I just think the way he works as a character is fascinating I’m obsessed with his brain. Thinking about him a lot also makes me miserable sometimes in a good way. I also think he’s one of the funniest characters ever. I’ll stop talking now he really contains multitudes to Me.

a reason I relate to them: honestly abandonment issues and emotional repression..Also like the way he always want to know everyone’s business but doesn’t actually like to talk to people (non-medicated) is a mood.

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: Andreil and Kandrew I honestly can’t choose because Andreil is THEE ship and Kandrew is My ship obsession and I consider those two separate categories in a sense, my approach with Pynch and Adansey is similar tbh. And for ot3 Kandreil <33 very non-controversial.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1) getting on proper meds suited to his actual diagnosis would be nice 2) I want him and Nicky to figure out new approaches in their relationship and generally work to have a better one 3) I think it would be cool if like Neil he later switched his major to something he actually was interested, especially like the idea of him as a film major or a psych major

five people that character never fell in love with and why

1)Roland — So this is a dynamic/character where I have one reaction based on information from the books + extra content (which is basically @ Roland get a job stay away from him!) , and Andrew’s pov of the dynamic is a bit different from mine so I’m focusing on this question from Andrew’s pov. I think Andrew liked Roland because he’s charming and easy to like and treated him like a peer not a kid (which is part of the problem) but it was a shallow kind of liking which was why Andrew saw Roland as a “safe” outlet to explore his sexuality, because there was no risk of him getting too attached which was safer to him emotionally and meant that when Roland tried to overstep his boundaries Andrew didn’t have an emotional weakness for it and could shut it down, and not a massive amount of trust existed but more trust than potentially he would have with other people. Also I kind of think that part of why he was drawn to (/vulnerable to) Roland specifically had something to do with Roland as someone so tied to Nicky, and while Nicky and Aaron were in getting closer and Andrew was placing himself in the protector-not-family role and also everything that happened with the court/meds Andrew would feel flattered / get a type of validation from being able to attract Roland and be chosen over Nicky in a sense, and get a kind of satisfaction successfully keeping it a secret. Honestly I think Roland is for Andrew what Wren is for Spencer in a way (which makes Nicky the Melissa technically), so that kind of itself explains why Andrew doesn’t love him.

2)Matt — I think that Andrew Does find Matt attractive (and is annoyed about it) esp in moments where Matt loses his cool more ex. when he’s picking a fight, is really protective etc. but he would never develop deeper feelings both because of the way they interact based on the structure of the team, the role Andrew played pre series in Matt going to rehab (I don’t remember if this is explained in book 1 or 2 so idk if you read about that yet) etc. and aside from all that Matt just has too conventional a view on morality and is just too close to normal for Andrew to ever be interested enough. However in different storylines pre and during the series or if they met when they were younger I could see them having a fling even if canon-wise it would be out of the question for both.

3)Jeremy — Other than the obvious that they haven’t had nearly enough contact, Andrew would just never be into someone that bubbly and nice they’d never be compatible, and unlike Matt I don’t even think Andrew sees or would under any circumstances see any sort of edge to Jeremy that could make him a bit compelling. And I think it’s vice versa too they don’t dislike each other (Jeremy doesn’t seem to dislike anyone) but they’re not for each other at all. There’s one place where this pairing could happen at all and it’s in the sex dreams yk Kevin has had about it Lolz.

4)Jean — again the thing about contact and then I think across the board in canon and any version of post canon timeline for Kevin and Neil centric reasons Andrew would always hate him. I’m unsure how I think they’d interact if they met outside the parameters of the series, in a Raven Andrew Au I do think Andrew and Jean would have been close while Andrew and Kevin would decidedly Not be close, I don’t really think Andrew would ever view Jean romantically in those circumstances though.

5)Seth — like with Kavinsky this is low hanging fruit Andrew hated him and would never interact with him willingly.

Nico Di Angelo

three facts about them from my personal headcanons: 1. Rick is incorrect about Nico and Reyna not spending time together post boo he’s just insane for that. Nico is constantly spending time at Camp Jupiter to hang out with his sister and his pseudo sister and his brother in law who he likes to scare half to death for fun imo 2. I think he’d really enjoy things like MBTI and astrology he likes sorting and categorizing things and being a nerd see: Mythomagic 3. In addition to his Aquarius sun he’s a Scorpio moon, not decided on his rising yet

a reason they suck: I was completely drawing a blank because I can’t think of anything I dislike about him but then I remembered the tsats excerpts so I guess just being cringe in those is his biggest crime to date. Like I could say the holding grudges thing but honestly I’m a Taurus I get it

a reason they are great: He’s so smart and knowledgable and resourceful and resilient and I love that he’s so powerful while constantly underestimated, he’s also just. He has a complicated moral compass which makes him interesting and I really like that, but fundamentally he’s very loving.

a reason I relate to them: tbh you can copy paste what I said for Andrew p much + additionally when rereading last year I did connect with the way his grief is constantly present in his character post end of ttc, a lot actually :/.

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character: I resent this a little but Jason/Nico is definitely the most appealing one to me based on canon content. And for ot3 I Was having fun last year with reimagining part of hoo as a Leo-Jason-Nico love triangle, and Valdangelo has so much untapped potential so definitely the three of them.

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened: 1) for the fact that chb is prejudiced against him to be acknowledged and not dismissed, I’m okay with there being some grey area in terms of him isolating himself because of trauma and that also being a factor, but not him being blamed for the alienation he experiences which is territory canon gets into at times 2) his final scene with Percy in BOO should have been more impactful and less of a joke and we should have gotten a sense of how they’ll mend their friendship 3) what I said before about Reyna and Hazel being largely involved with him getting to feel at home at camp and him clearly visiting them a lot 4) I want it acknowledged that Hades and the Furies and maybe Persephone must have tutored him because he dropped out of school in 5th grade I want to get insight on that experience. Which I fully believe happened but not 100% sure Rick does so counting it 5) I really like the Dionysus therapy thing but Chiron should be made to feel ashamed for his passivity and letting Nico be homeless in pjo

five people that character never fell in love with and why

1)Leo — Rick was simply too much of a coward to let them interact and have the arc of figuring out how compatible they would be.

2)Jason — I think Nico would be resistant to the idea of letting himself *go there* emotionally with another “hero” archetype in the timeline of canon bcs of the Percy thing. I do believe he had some latent attraction to Jason (him comparing Will’s and Jason’s looks in BOO is… telling lmao) and ofc definitely cared for him but it would have taken a while for love-level feelings to develop, though i definitely think they could have since Nico is the opposite of Andrew in that sense that he likes nice heroic boys only lol, and they definitely have points of connection so plenty of potential there. In the timeline of canon there’s way more evidence of Jason having strong romantic feelings/actually being smitten re: Nico which like I said I think was ultimately a good thing that made the dynamic a stand out compared to the status quo of both chars other dynamics, and also just a lot more palatable to me personally since my relationship with Jason as a char is … complicated lol, and I definitely would have Strongly resented a dynamic where the reverse was true in introduction.

3)Frank — he’s dating Hazel and age probably other things too .

4)Apollo — Okay so he definitely had a crush on him in TTC I don’t want that to be true but it is… BOO restated it too in a way…anyway though he would never fall in love with Apollo he hates his actual cocky personality (he’s fond of Lester/Apollo too but it’s the way you’d be fond of a really smelly and badly behaved dog tbh).

5)Octavian — because Octavian’s a little bitch Nico doesn’t have a lot of standards (bcs of the abandonment issues) but he does have Some standards.

#asks #s speaks #Trc #Aftg #riordanverse #blue Sargent #andrew minyard #nico di angelo #my meta

[bronanlynch]

started to do a whole 'top 5 things of 2023' post for new years eve, realized that I do not actually have 5 of most types of media, let alone ones that I would put on that sort of list (like. I played five video games total and I'm not sure I would even count dgs 1 & 2 as separate here) and then didn't finish the post yesterday anyway so uh. happy new year here's some stuff from this year (none of them are in any actual order)

top 5 books

water outlaws (s.l. huang)

light from uncommon stars (ryka aoki)

mimicking of known successes (malka older)

some desperate glory (emily tesh)

he who drowned the world (shelley parker-chan)

honorable mention: yuwu (meatbun) (I'm incredibly compelled by the first two volumes but since I haven't read the whole thing yet I can't justify actually giving it a spot)

top 5 movies

rrr

the handmaiden

john wick

ace attorney live action

casablanca

honorable mention: char's counterattack (we did not actually finish it before midnight last night and also I'm trying to not to give in to recency bias but like. truly one of the most movies of all time)

top 5 tv shows

zeta gundam

this is where I realized this was a lost cause, I think most of these would just be gundam

top 5 tv shows (for real this time)

zeta gundam

first gundam

tiger & bunny season 1 (season 2 has its moments and I love the new characters but on a thematic & narrative level it was like. often unconvincing and also uh. made me say "yikes I hate the implications of this" a lot)

one piece live action

witch from mercury

honorable mention: legend of the galactic heroes (which I neither started nor finished this year but I do think abt it constantly and I watched a pretty decent chunk of it)

top 5 fic I posted (originally this was "fic I wrote" and then I realized that some of my best writing from this year is either unfinished or for unreleased zines)

leonie/ingrid taking care of horses together ft. gender (fe3h)

crimson flower claude post-derdriu (fe3h)

claude/lorenz yugioh gx au (fe3h)

dahlia/shih-na flirting abt crime (ace attorney)

yuri/sylvain t4t ft. espionage (fe3h)

#i promise i watched tv that wasn't anime/live action based on anime this year #it's just that a lot of it was not particularly good. so #(for example when i'm with my parents they always want to watch mcu shows. which are. y'know.) #also we didn't watch much tv for the first half of the year bc we were playing fire emblem & ace attorney instead #and then we got really into gundam which uh. there's a lot of that to watch #dreaming.txt

[theseerasures]

While you're doing reactions, if you're up for it, how are you feeling about all the finale predictions you made on March 23? By my count, you scored pretty well!

hooooooo boy (the alluded post, for those just catching up)

how i feel about my predictions is that...you’re right and i scored pretty well, but much like the characters doing right in the episode itself, it didn’t matter. part of the reason why the finale made me feel so much--why i loved it, despite still being emotionally hungover from ugly affect--is because i WAS right, but i was so often right but wrong on a smaller scale, or right but wrong because i completely misunderstood the overall thematic stakes, or in one case right but in such a phenomenally cruel and roundabout way that i’m still reeling from it.

more detailed breakdown under the cut (as in “let’s unpack this,” and as in “i have an emotional breakdown”):

WHERE I WAS MOSTLY RIGHT

Team Green, Yang, the non-Robyn Happy Huntresses, Klein and the non-combatant Schnees were gimmes from the beginning, even the ones of whom we didn’t have visual confirmation by the end of Worthy.

Pietro and Maria are still MIA so i’m putting them here, but...Winter’s gonna have to tell Pietro, when he shows up again.

Cinder and the Relics i was correct about, but even though i knew going in that she would win i didn’t imagine the scale of her victory. mostly because i thought she might have learned some self-discipline and just skedaddled with the Relics in an attempt to trap as many people as possible in superhell, but a) she didn’t, and b) she won without needing to.

Salem, Watts, and Ironwood are where i predicted, but i think part of me really bought into the fan theory that maybe Salem would want to keep Atlas around. both Watts and Ironwood lasted much longer through the episode than i expected because i was working from that assumption, but with the direction the episode actually took it makes perfect sense that they exited the stage as Atlas fell--they are, after all, twin architect-destroyers of Atlas. brains and brawn.

Nora ended up in Vacuo, but she’s...uh, not happy about it. not that i expected her to be happy, but this is much much worse. og JNPR is now JUST Renora, and much as i love freewheeling modular megazord JNPR, that’s gonna hit like a truck. last time they lost someone Renora were consciously trying to play supportive teammate to Jaune, who’d just lost his partner, and Nora especially also had to talk Ren off the edge with the Kuroyuri stuff. i expect they’ll swap the dynamic this time, especially since Nora was already planning to go all independent woman before this.

Qrow, Robyn, and the AceOps are stranded, but in transit and not in Mantle, because Mantle the place is no more. and Vine is dead. the reason i posited that the AceOps might be split up was so they could find their team dynamic after it’s been unsettled, and...well. having one of them do a heroic sacrifice should do a similar trick. because i didn’t think Atlas would fall on Mantle i thought Qrow and Robyn (particularly Robyn) would get more to do, but both of them are pretty much exactly in the same place they were in at the beginning of the season: trapped in a cramped environment, cut off from the people they love and uncertain what happened to them, and unable to contribute in a way that they would consider meaningful. i’m guessing we won’t check back in with this crew for a while, but if we do it’ll be interesting to see if the Qrow and Robyn dynamic changes--like, if he has to be the one to talk her down from cabin fever and despair. (before he finds out that he was the one who should have been despairing all along.)

WHERE I WAS MOSTLY WRONG

Neo is in superhell. i had put her in Atlas because i’d overestimated Cinder’s ability to play the long game, but what the show ultimately doubled down on was that Cinder remains at heart a petty and impatient opportunist, and that’s where she’s most effective. which i dig! i dig that she has not so much improved (in means or ends) so much as learned to hold the beneficial and detrimental parts of herself farther and farther apart, because in the end they’re all the same parts, and because presumably she’ll end up starfishing out so much (who knew the way she took care of Winter’s death pigeons was foreshadowing?) that she breaks in two. and i dig Neo in superhell without Cinder, because it’ll be our first chance to see Neo not working for anyone outside of that one time she fought Cinder. if superhell does end up being part afterlife, she might also get some closure with the Torchwick stuff.

Jaune being in superhell points to it being part afterlife, because the chance for HIM to get some closure is also right there. that was always the case, but the reason i made the prediction i did was because i assumed that Jaune would remain the person he has been this whole season--this stolid, clueless but incredibly effective supporting leader. having a Jaune who is at the top of his game meet up with Pyrrha again is obviously appealing, especially to me, a person who scribbles misshapen hearts labeled “Arkos = 5evr” on all my notebooks, but at the time i didn’t think it was necessary to his story...and then the story dramatically shifted his character and threw all my carefully hedged bets off (which is something we’ll also get to with...later).

having a Jaune who has just effectively EUTHANIZED someone meet up with Pyrrha again isn’t just appealing--it’s vital. and it’s vital because the exact parameters of how and why Jaune ended up having to kill Penny is a point-for-point echo and escalation of the way the Amber to Pyrrha transfer was supposed to go. last time Jaune Arc was party to a Maiden transfer process he had no idea what was going on, and he tried to intervene when he worked out that whatever Oz was doing was going to hurt Pyrrha, and that however minute thing contributed to Pyrrha’s death and the Fall of Beacon. this time it’s not just that he knows what’s going on and the stakes of it. it’s not even just that he is the Ozpin operating the Aura Transfer machine. it is that there is no machine--there is just him, holding the knife. he knows the Amber better than the Pyrrha this time, and this time the Amber is his friend, and still whole, and choosing. not just consenting, but asking him. trusting him. so he carries it out. the old Maiden dies, and like Ozpin he dies shortly after, but not before he watches the new Maiden fail.

but he does prevent history from repeating, because a new Maiden is created, and she gets to live. and Cinder Fall has made him a murderer on top of everything else, but she WILL remember him, now.

there are other people i was wrong about, but that’s...for later.

WHERE I WAS RIGHT AND IT DIDN’T MATTER

Ruby, Blake and Weiss are all in superhell, so on paper i was right, but...well. sing it if you know the words. the reason i’m putting them in their own section is because it’s not just that they fell and didn’t jump like i thought; it’s that they would not have jumped, and that changes everything. you know how i realized that we would lose everyone, and not by choice? it was Weiss. it was when Weiss said we have to do this for Yang. Jaune had reminded Nora of what was priority one minutes before, but the implications of that didn’t sink in for me until Weiss confirmed it. they PLANNED for this. not just the eventuality where they would have to die, but the one where they’d have to watch everyone else die and do nothing except keep going.

which...has implications. the best way to read this--and i think we’re all dying for some good news--is that even if it certainly does not feel that way, RWBY was able to snatch a partial victory from Salem’s claws. they lost the Relics, but they got the Maiden powers away, and most importantly: they saved Atlas and Mantle. by the time Jaune intervened Grand Central was empty. there was no one left to evacuate. they didn’t get everyone, but they got a lot. even before Cinder intervened so catastrophically they knew how many things could go wrong, so they made a plan, and largely stuck to it. on a purely material level they only lost one thing vital to the war effort--the Staff. but they got everyone else out, which was priority one. the show in general and this arc in particular has emphasized that our heroes don’t think they should be exceptionalized, that they’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure everyone is given the treatment and respect they deserve, and they’ve made good on that. they’re Huntresses, and Huntresses be thou for the people. they chose, and they won what mattered to THEM.

but on the flip side: they chose, and there’s no way to read this choice as anything but a compromise...and a very Atlesian one at that. when confronted with calculus similar to the one JYR faced after they lost Oscar in War, our heroes chose...the opposite. one, then three, then four, then five, then six for the many. what was that number compared to two entire cities’ worth of people, especially when they’re the ones who signed up for this? i’m not trying to take this down the slippery slope where our heroes are no better than the dictator they just dethroned, because when the time came for sacrifice they chose themselves first. but it remains a sacrifice, which means that when the time came to test the hard moral limit they set for themselves, they...moved. they decided ahead of time that some risks aren’t worth taking. that this is not a situation where everyone wins, so they had to go for the next best thing, then the next best thing after that, and so on. i’m honestly not sure where it points to yet, except my usual refrain that this show is a lot less didactic than it seems, but...yeah. this is going to lead to some invigorating discussions in-universe.

and maybe it’ll start with this: that Jaune and Weiss--the two who had to verbally advocate for leaving the fallen behind--fell last of all, which means they had to watch everyone else go first. and the last person they saw was the same person. Weiss, who executed the plan to brilliant perfection, saw the past--the first family she ever had--streaking after her in an endless void, forsaking the priorities they all agreed upon, for her. Jaune, who followed the plan to execution and broke a part of himself, saw the new Maiden he crowned, backlit and pulled away by the bright future that he ensured was possible, but can no longer access.

QUEENMAKER

i’m starting with Penny, because Penny came first. there has already been a ton of discussion on the ways that she’ll come back, and while i absolutely agree that she will, for now i am not so much interested in that as i am in eulogizing this Penny. the Penny we had just now, not identical but continuous with the Penny we had before that, in the same way that everyone is not identical but continuous with who they were in the past. the Penny who IS dead, her eventual resurrection notwithstanding.

because she DID die, and her death matters. that’s the thing about the deaths in this season, and it furthers my point re: RWBY’s presumed didacticism--the show’s treatment of death has changed as our heroes have changed. it is no longer (and never was) as simple as “death and sacrifice are always senseless waste,” and more something like...”death has to matter, and we will give it meaning.” Hazel and Vine sacrificed themselves, and the fact both resulted in a “positive” outcome (more lives saved) does not make the deaths any less tragic. but neither should the tragedy of it take away from the fact that they saved lives. what separates our heroes from a Salem or a James Ironwood even now is that they recognize the importance of grievable life even as they accept inevitable death, that what is worth it all about preserving life is not to make sure that lives go on forever, but that lives have meaning and are remembered, that when you’re gone the people who are still here respect you enough to carry that meaning with them. it’s a tenuous balance to walk, but all the more important for that reason.

Penny--though her death can and will be reversed--is much the same. in every arc there has been a Game of Three Maidens (which i guess would make shogi the better metaphor and not chess because--what AM i on about), and in every Game there has been sacrifice. and i thought that would encompass Winter, here. we’d get away with it not being literal death, since Fria already took care of that, but she would be trapped on the other side of the gate--in pretty much the exact same position James Ironwood ended up in the episode itself, actually. it just seemed obvious: she’s the decoy, the one who missed the call by inches, the last revealed defector when there still was an Atlas from which to defect. all of it pointed to Winter’s story ending with one last delay barring her from salvation, of her finally being too late...

and well. i WASN’T wrong in the broad strokes, but first there was Penny Polendina. Penny could have let Jaune try to save her and Weiss die for her, but she knew she had to make a different choice to save as many lives as possible. so she offered herself up as the sacrifice instead. last week i waxed prolonged poetic about how Winter defected so recently, how it has been just IronwoodandWinter for so long, how Winter doesn’t have a team and only the healing shreds of a family, how no one would think to look for her...and then Penny did. you were my friend. (given Winter’s rough age and the hazy creation dates for the PENNY Project, it’s possible that Winter is Penny’s OLDEST friend.) Penny thought of Winter as she was dying, thought about the good Winter could do if Winter had her powers, believed in Winter, and in doing so, saved Winter’s life before anyone else’s.

she ceded the spotlight to Winter in this last episode, but this season as a whole belongs to Penny Polendina--the myriad ways she creates herself, the ways she defends her self-creation, ultimately culminating in her new body, created by no one but herself. but for her final act the Maiden of Creation did something different and no less miraculous: i thought of you. a thought was all it took.

she created someone else.

KINGSLAYER | THE MAIDEN THAT WAS PROMISED

the thing about Winter is that she came first.

no, i’m serious. i checked the fairy tale and everything--Winter came first. as the Wizard’s first visitor she encouraged him to reflect and meditate, and when probed about why she was here at all, she answered: i am waiting for my sisters. Spring and Summer have to wait, too, of course, but. Winter was the first.

Jacques and Willow named their firstborn Winter. it is not the way this story begins, but it is certainly is one of them, because the story begins with Winter, and Winter begins the story--a new retelling, a new cycle of heroism. we’ve since been introduced to other characters in that indeterminate age group between RWBY and STRQ, but Winter--by virtue of being Weiss’ older sister--anchors herself to the new generation in a way those others (even Cinder, who comes closest) do not. she started things, in the mythical emblematic way that this show likes to move, and the way she started things--the way she MADE herself start things, thanks to the house she grew up in--was with love, and protection. she took care of Weiss and laid the groundwork for the person Weiss is today, and conversely: she took care of Weiss, and through Weiss, laid the groundwork for herself and how to take care of everyone. so eventually the steel thread she tied to Weiss she also linked to Whitley, to Penny, to Marrow, to all the people they love, and on and on it goes. Winter loved Weiss, so she made herself learn how to love Weiss, and so when i say she started things what i mean is she started family. a new home, for a new generation of the orphaned.

Winter came first. but as the show demonstrates time and again, especially with Winter: first does not mean best. because being first also means you’re the prototype, a volatile thing that must be tested and tempered and then discarded to make way for what comes after, what gets improved. and it is THIS part of being first that Winter has internalized most of all. Winter, the first Maiden, taught the Wizard peace and prepared the earth so that her sisters could grow and foster and harvest the life within it; Winter, the first Schnee, laid the groundwork in her siblings, but did not wait for them. and let herself fallow in the process. she left, and every time they tried to follow or stay with her she sent them away. (she keeps sending them away; even after defecting and taking down Ironwood, the first thing she says to JNPER is go.) Winter laid the first stone in the foundation, but she cannot take credit for the home her family turned it into, for all the ways it has flourished, because she willfully absented herself of that (birth)right.

and the reason she did this was very simple: she was afraid. she could not bear the thought that while she had to learn how to love she made mistakes, the idea that instead of preparing the earth she might have poisoned the well. so she ran. she turned her face away so she would not have to look, so they would not look to her. she left, and every time one of her siblings superseded her after that, every time she was made to be their Esau--passed over--it just seemed to confirm that she was right to leave. look how well they’ve all done without her.

in the stories, eldest siblings aren’t here to win. they’re here to be made an example of, and Winter...had resigned herself to that. she was prepared to be left behind for good by all the people who have outpaced her.

but then there was Penny Polendina. Penny didn’t follow her, or try to stay; Penny came back for her. Penny remembered Winter when all Winter wanted was to be forgotten, because she’d gotten it in her head that it was what she deserved for all the things she’d done or enabled or failed to do. why did Penny remember Winter? because you were my friend. there is no divine complexity to it, nothing for Winter to fall hopeless short of. there is only the fact that Winter gave Penny something, made something together with Penny, even as she was trying her hardest not to, for fear that she would create something terrible. and this does not take away from all the ways Winter did fall short, but it is still SOMETHING. and it is enough.

it was your power, after all. Penny means the Maiden powers, but she also means THIS Maiden’s power: the power to create. you made this home, Penny is saying to Winter, you should get to reap its fruit, even if you weren’t around for the labor. all you have to do is say yes.

this was a gift. she says yes. she accepts, because in the end Winter Schnee loves her family more than she hates herself.

but then--

(a gift for what? Winter will ask herself wretchedly later, after she has failed in the two tasks she thinks Penny set for her.)

the thing about Winter is that she came first. she taught Weiss everything she knows, and she was so busy doing that she never had the time to show Weiss everything she feels. so in the end what Weiss never predicted was that for all of her team’s painful planning, for all of her own pained enforcement of that plan...none of it was a match for her sister. that when the time came it was would be WINTER who defaults to the absolute ideal of “no one gets left behind,” of “every life” meaning every life, priority one be damned.

or that Winter, in trying to choose both, in finally and fiercely trying, with surely enough power to make a difference, would fail.

what are you doing? Winter heard as she watched Weiss fall into nothingness. my life doesn’t matter.

so here, then, is the story of Winter in The Final Word: a girl returns home after having left it, but in this version it is the home who has changed and the girl who has not. and from this both are unmade. but she gets to live, because she was invited back home. and she gets to go through the portal as its last passenger, into the Promised Land.

and she is still the Maiden of Creation. even after all this, THAT is still her task. to build a refuge for her people, to collect the broken strands of the family she began and her siblings continued and expanded and reinforced, and gather them up again into a new home. it will be impossible, but at the same time: she has done this before.

and this time, she will wait for her sisters.

(a gift for what? for nothing, would be the answer. gifts aren’t FOR anything. they’re gifts.)

#typeoneninja #rwby #helen writes meta #VERY LONG OBSCENELY LONG META CANNOT EMPHASIZE HOW LONG #at least it didn't take me a whole month this time

[queeenpersephone]

so, in hobbit fashion, i like to “give gifts” on my birthday, and because next week sucks for me irl, i’ve deciding to do it early in the form of my top ten favorite fiveya fics! my opinion isn’t much, but i wanna bring some attention to my favorite writers and i wanted to make a banner so there. 

disclaimer: this is me, personally, what i liked, what resonated. it’s not objective by any means, though i highly recommend all of these fics. to that end, some of these are dark, nsfw, thematically not for everyone. so make sure you read the tags before diving in fully. also! this is by no means exhaustive. i’m a weirdo who keeps a full list of the fics i love, so these are just some of the ones i can’t escape lol. 

without further ado!

The Family Jewels by @igpitn. c’mon. if you haven’t read this fic. I seriously don’t know what you’re doing. CEO!AU Five is incredibly compelling and dark and interesting and surprisingly, so is the timid little vanya that maddy literally makes come to life in this au. this fic had me on the edge of my seat until the very end, and there are lines of dialogue in this fic that I think of seriously all the time. god. she really Did That.

The Malice and Caprice of Time Series by CarpeDiemForLife. this series is straight up incredible. I literally think about it regularly. the descriptions are lovely and almost stark, and I can always picture exactly what is happening in the scene, which is rare for me as a reader. this author does not shy away from angst, and from real consequences for characters, which - added to their phenomenal writing - makes this series one of my rereads. 

inside your head the sound of glass by @fiveyavibecheck. if the richard siken title isn’t enough (for me it was) bri changed the game here. This fic pretty much invented dark fic for me. the writing is both poetic and shockingly dry - it’s one of those fics where you literally cannot think of a better way to say something that’s been said, where no beat is missed, and it’s just iconic. 

Foundations by lifeofsnark. this is just.. so good. look, I never read WIPs bc I hate waiting and that’s my problem, but casey’s insight into what a post s2 would look like for fiveya and the rest of the fam is just gratifying to read and so character-accurate you’re going to cry. I promise. 

Growing Pains by @igpitn. maddy truly snapped with this fic. Five “rescuing” Vanya after all the fun miscommunications is just perfect, and I think it’s a really realistic portrayal of what would happen to these two if Five couldn’t be artificially aged up. her Five is just genius, and I love every bit of this fic. 

treat me like a stranger by @rappaccini. my intellectual side wanted to choose el’s rewrite but I JUST LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. it’s funny and witty and dead clever, all marks of el’s writing. Five is the perfect combination of genius and an idiot in stealing Leonard’s identity, and the plot that unfolds is so much fun but it has a wonderful heart as well. 

I Call You Mine by TooYoungToFeelThisTired. God works hard, but this writer works harder!! This is my personal favorite. Five is wonderfully dark and possessive and definitely a psycho, but in the best way. Vanya’s own darkness shines through beautifully, and at this point, you guys can probably tell I love fics where we’re forced to deal with the messed up age problems these two have. It’s not always pretty, but this writer just handles it so well. 

the pull of you by @fiveyasapphics. The regency au!! I’m not over this fic - one of my favorite aus for sure. The ending (no spoilers) is one of the most gratifying things ever, and the plot is so well thought out. I love regency aus but the fiveya fandom seriously doesn’t even need another one when this one is so perfect! 

There’s Nothing to Be Afraid Of by @fiveyaaas. This is one of tori’s shorter fics, but it’s my absolute favorite and I reread it all the time. on the surface, it’s just fun smut, but there’s something about this five and vanya that they just captured perfectly - vanya is hesitant and quiet, five is in control but still loving, and the fam makes me laugh every time.

Forbidden Room by @repeatinglitanies. honestly I don’t know how to describe the plot of this fic without spoiling it, but it’s a must-read. This is Tasha’s brand of darkness, and it is glorious. My heart has never beat so fast for a character than it did for vanya in this fic - god I was so nervous. Any fic that can do that is a phenomenal fic in my book. 

anyways, i hope those of you looking for fics to read enjoy this list! love y’all and happy birthday to me lol  

#fiveya #vanya x five #five x vanya #tua #fiveya fics #fiveya fic recs #fic recs

[brightbeautifulthings]

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

"'What if sometimes there is no choice about what to love? What if the temple comes to Mohammed? What if you just love? without deciding? You just do: you see her and in that instant are lost to sober account-keeping and cannot choose but to love?'"

Year Read: 2014, 2020

Rating: 5/5

Context: It's hard to know where to begin writing a review for this book. I read it for the first time in graduate school in about five weeks (alongside everything else I had to do in grad school, so I don't recommend that), and it basically blew my mind. At the same time, it's hard to imagine tackling it any other way for the first time. Despite its difficulty, there are things obsessive and immersive and, appropriately, even addictive about it. Full immersion might be the only way to read it for the first time, and I obsessed about it for months afterward. Since I'm not on any deadlines, I took it more slowly this time (21 weeks) so I could enjoy the writing and the nuances without the pressure to finish. For my less coherent weekly updates in real time, see my blog posts. Trigger warnings: Everything, everything. Death (on-page), child death, animal death, suicide, suicidal ideation, rape, pedophilia, possible incest, child abuse/abusive households, graphic violence/gore, eye horror, severe injury, drug use, addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, depression, OCD, grief, racism, ableism, transphobia, sexism, inexplicable hostility toward Canadians.

About: If it's difficult to know how to write a review, it's equally hard to describe what Infinite Jest is about. It's about so many things, tennis, addiction, communication (failures), and entertainment among them, but I'll do my best. Beneath all the numerous characters, timelines, and subplots, the main plot is about a film so entertaining that it kills anyone who watches it, robs them of all desire to do anything but watch it until they die, and what a faction of Canadian assassins will do to possess it. The auteur is James Incandenza, a suicide whose son, Hal, is a prodigy at Enfield Tennis Academy. Next door to E.T.A. is Ennet House, a drug rehabilitation center where Don Gately, former thief and Demerol addict, is taking it day by day to stay sober. Though they don't know it, Hal and Gately are connected, and the deadly Entertainment and those who seek it draw their paths closer and closer together.

Thoughts: It's rare to find a book that is actually as smart as it claims to be, but IJ is--certainly much smarter than I am, despite all my attempts to make sense of it. It starts off strong and doesn't let up for several hundred pages, which is a huge achievement all by itself. Wallace excels at writing extremely polished sections that could almost function alone as short stories, and the first chapter is one of my favorites in all fiction. It's reassuring, I think, to start the book off on a strong note, in case we worried we were in for a thousand pages of tedious slog. It can be both, but it's often heartfelt, insightful, and funny as well, and the payoff is well worth the effort. I don’t know how Wallace manages to pack every page with so much meaning. Anybody can put tedious lists in their books or make reading purposely difficult (and I have attitude about writers who do this for no reason), but there’s nothing haphazard about this book, despite its size and varied focus. Everything seems utterly intentional. The conversations are really top-tier; Wallace has a great ear for how people talk, and it's a fascinating look at how communication works and doesn't work.

Thematically, I think the book succeeds on more than any other level, including plot or structure. If we could say this book is "about" anything, we would almost certainly start with the themes and not the plot, which is often secondary to whatever point Wallace is trying to make at the moment. It takes an in-depth looks at things like addiction, depression, loneliness, failed communication, sincerity v. irony, critiques of postmodernism and metafiction (while being very meta itself, at times), and the very specific selfishness of an American culture that insists on freedom even to the point of self-destruction. At times, it feels a little heavy-handed or like it was yanked right out of an intro to philosophy course, but I suppose something in a thousand pages has to be obvious if we're ever going to pick up on it. A lot of these themes resurface in his other work, from "This is Water" and "E Unibus Pluram" to Orin Incandenza's Brief Interview style Q and A (and he would be a perfectly fitting character in that book).

The characters are some of my favorites in literary fiction as well, particularly the Incandenza family and Don Gately, and to a lesser extent Joelle Van Dyne (although Wallace typically doesn’t write female characters very well, and she comes with some issues). Hal and Gately couldn't be more different; Hal excels at everything he's ever done, and Gately has a record that includes accidental homicide on it. Hal is the hero of non-action, since little that happens in the book is engineered by him, while Gately is closer to the more typical hero of action, who defends the undeserving at great cost to himself. Yet their struggles with addiction are similar, and they both manage to be incredibly sympathetic characters. In my opinion, the book is always at its best when we’re with Hal or Gately, but I’m strongly driven by good characters. Despite being dead, James Incandenza's presence is also felt all over the book, from the Entertainment he created to his haunting ETA and sticking beds to the ceiling (probably the weirdest ghost I've ever seen in fiction). He's a tragic character in a book full of tragic characters. The others are too numerous to name, from the other tennis players at ETA and recovering addicts at Enfield, to the various bystanders populating Boston. We get brief glimpses into almost all of them, and while they may not all feel relevant at the time, most are memorable or heart-wrenching or slapstick funny, or all three. It's a book that contains multitudes.

That's not to say it's always on point though, and it isn't. There are a number of very serious problems with representation in this novel, and they're as bad as its detractors claim. A lot of the 90s humor aged very poorly, but that's not an excuse for some of the unabashedly racist depictions of African Americans, the uncharitable descriptions of Steeply's and Poor Tony's cross-dressing, or--however much I love him as a character--the fact that Mario Incandenza’s descriptions are ableist in just about every possible way. Wallace thinks he's capturing "voice" when he's really encouraging harmful stereotypes. The humor of the novel often doesn’t depend at all on these stereotypes and would in fact, be a lot more funny if I wasn’t spending so much energy cringing at it. So many of the little racist and ableist asides could have easily been edited out of the entire novel to make it less offensive. There are also sections where he seems at pains to be as gross as possible for its own sake. There are plenty of things grim or uncomfortable or flat out distasteful about this book, but sometimes the graphic violence kind of jumps out and stabs you in the eye, say, with a railroad spike.

If there are times when I was totally absorbed in the little tragedies of the Incandenza family or Gately's struggles, there are plenty more where it's like pushing something heavy up a hill. No lie, some of it is slogging through tedious minutiae and various experimental writing styles (some more successful and less offensive than others). Wallace has a gift for purposeful tedium; it’s at its peak in The Pale King, but he gives it a nice warm-up round here. The novel is difficult and meant to be, since Wallace maintained that some of the best pleasures are the ones we have to work for, and he's not totally off base. There's something very satisfying about living, for a time, in a book that spans a thousand pages, that demands focus and perseverance, and manages to give back (almost) as much as it takes. The book is always structurally interesting, but it starts to get more complicated toward the end as various characters and plots begin to almost slide into one another. I forgot how frustrating it was to near the end and realize--again--that it wasn't going to wrap up with any kind of satisfaction; the various plots slide, but they don’t meet. I thought if I paid closer attention on a second read that I would pick up more of the plot things I’d missed on my first, but I think the problem is that those answers simply aren’t to be found in the actual text. Of course, they can point us toward various conclusions, and the novel certainly encourages us to speculate and make connections, but I don’t think the actual answers are there.

That brings me to some of my final thoughts, for now. There's no doubt that this is a hugely successful book, and I believe it accomplished exactly what Wallace meant it to do. He jokingly referred to it as a failed entertainment, much the way Jim considered his lethal Entertainment a failure, but I have the sense that Wallace, unlike Jim, failed on purpose. The book purposely pays more attention to structure and theme than it does to plot or character, yet the plot and characters are hugely compelling for what we see of them. Imagine the book it could have been if he had paid equal attention to all of them. Wallace attempted to create a book that people wouldn't want to stop reading. Reaching the end certainly encourages us to begin again, as the first chapter is actually the last in chronology, but that trick only works the first time. By my second read, I realized that starting over wouldn't help me fill in any of those blanks or answer any of my questions, and I was content to let it go. On the one hand, IJ depends upon its structure to tell the story it's telling. On the other, think of the book it could have been if it spent more time telling a story and developing its characters and less time belaboring a point. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and the tragedy is that I think it could have been even better.

#book review #infinite jest #david foster wallace #literary fiction #adult fiction #5/5 #rating: 5/5 #2020 #bookoween

[kata4a]

“Show them,” he said.  There weren’t any hints of a threat or any anger in his tone, but she obeyed anyways.  She turned her back to us, grabbed the bottom of her shirt and pulled it off.

“Mannequin demands that a candidate changes themselves, and that it be hard.  Having just faced the punishment Burnscar gave for failing her test, Cherish wasn’t about to pay his.”

The tattoo stretched from beneath the waist of her low-rise jeans and up the length of her back.  The centerpiece was a large festering heart, done as realistically as any tattoo I’d ever seen.  It was all in shades of green, covered with ulcers, sores, patches of rot and live maggots.  The surrounding tattoos gave the appearance of torn skin revealing the bone and organs beneath, rats and roaches lurking behind ribs and atop her kidneys.  Framing the entire thing were words, not done in any elaborate script, but in scrawled letters that looked like they’d been carved into a surface with knives: epithets and invectives.

“She told the artists to make it so ugly she’d want to kill them.  If she didn’t, she promised to kill their loved ones and then kill them.  Took six artists in total.  Inspired.”

Cherish looked over one tattooed shoulder to fix Jack with a stare.  It was then that I noticed two things.  The first became clear as her skin stretched.  There was depth to the tattoos that you didn’t get with a two-dimensional image.  Her skin had been scarred and flensed to raise edges and give the images and words a permanence that simple ink wouldn’t have.

The second thing I noticed was her eyes.  It was like a light had gone out inside her, just standing there with that tattoo exposed.

“That was the hard one for you, wasn’t it?” Jack smiled.  “Even as tired, scared, hurt and desperate as you were after the other five tests, it was when you willingly defaced that young, unblemished body of yours that a little something inside of you broke, and you began thinking of yourself as one of us.  Liminality.”

“What was your test, Jack?” Regent asked.  I couldn’t tell if he was glad to know his sister suffered or sad for her.

“Oh, I knew it would be almost impossible to top Mannequin’s test.  He caught her at the exact right moment, struck the right nerve, and pushed her to her very limits.  Still, I think I managed to top it.  Turn around, Cherish.”

Like an automaton, she did.  More tattoos and scars covered her chest, just as expansive, just as unpleasant to look at.  Two nude women, their entwined limbs like the broken legs of a squashed bug, neither attractive in the slightest.  One was emaciated, the other morbidly obese, and both were old.  More tattoos of rotting and torn flesh framed the scene, and the words forming the border of the tattoos on the front were the opposite of the others, almost worse in their irony and desperation: ‘Take Me’.  ‘Please Desire Me’.  ‘Want Me’, and more vulgar variations of the same.

“I made her do the other six tests all over again.”

like, fuck

I think was where I first started to ruminate on the ideas that would become this post, since cherish really does kind of perfectly embody that concept

like this isn't actually hot, not exactly - but it hits all the same beats as things that are: body modification, (un)desirability as a thematic motif, the sense of permanency, of a choice from which there's no turning back, the total extinction in one moment of cherie's otherwise incredibly cocky personality

it's the worst parts of my sexuality amped up to eleven; like there are a lot of oh fuck moments in worm but this fucking skewered me, like, just,

cherie, poor, poor cherie

#parahumans #kat's sex life

[alliluyevas]

3

What were your top five books of the year?

Oh, this is hard! I read a lot of really good books this year and also frankly the stuff I read in the last few months of 2021 versus the first months of 2022 run together so I had to look up and see what I actually read for the first time in 2022. This isn't in any particular order:

Joseph Smith and the Mormons: Noah van Sciver

This is a graphic novel that focuses on Joseph Smith's life and death and early Mormonism and I thought it was really successful! It was powerful and sympathetic but also historically accurate (with an extensive bibliography, lmfao). I thought it was really compelling in terms of both the art and inspiring feelings. This is a very cinematic story so the visual method worked very well.

A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms: George RR Martin

I've been an ASOIAF fan for ten years and I never read these! For some reason I just didn't find the sound of them appealing. I kind of wish I'd read them earlier because they're great but it was also really nice to have entirely new (to me) content in this universe!

I Who Have Never Known Men: Jacqueline Harpman

Post-apocalyptic novella about a group of women who are as far as they know the last people left alive in the world narrated by the youngest among them, who starts the story as a child and ends it as the last surviving member of the group. Incredibly beautiful writing, lovely and heartrending meditation on what it means to be human and what it means to be alive.

Women Talking: Miriam Toews

This is about sexual violence in an isolated Mennonite community, focusing on the debate between women from two interconnected families over whether to leave the community or not, narrated by the childhood friend of one of the women who is selected to take notes because none of the women can read or write and he's also the only person they know with experience in the outside world. It's actually really interesting putting it after I Who Have Never Known Men because there's some thematic overlap even though the circumstances are wholly different. Incredibly powerful, really thought provoking, and very unique narrative voice. I'm excited for the upcoming film adaptation :)

The Lonely Polygamist: Brady Udall

This was written in the early 2000s but is set in the 1970s, so it's a really interesting overlap between the historical and the contemporary. Primarily narrated by the rather hapless and pathetic Mormon fundamentalist titular character, with some cross-narration from the youngest of his four wives and his preteen son. I was surprised both by how funny this book was and how poignant it is. It's this really chaotic, sometimes uncomfortable portrayal of a large polygamist family where everyone is rubbing up against each other and somehow still feels alone. Also I think at heart this is a story about grief and loss and mourning (the death of a young daughter years prior to the start of the story but still very much affecting her family, the wife's history of miscarriage and stillbirth, and other death later in the book that I don't want to give away) and it was portrayed very effectively.

[sternbilder]

Camille Has Many KDrama Thoughts

As some of you have possibly noticed, I have recently fallen into a KDrama hole and I can’t get up, and I have just finished my 10th drama, which seems like less of an accomplishment than I thought now that I say it out loud, but anyway,

As a checkpoint/thinly veiled plug of some shows I love very much, here is a very long post with some of my thoughts on all the KDramas I’ve seen so far, as well as what’s next on my list, in case you too were interested in joining me in nonexistent fandom hell!

So firstly, all of the dramas I have watched to completion, in the order of how much I like them. First, my top five:

1. Sungkyunkwan Scandal (2010). My #1 favorite drama to date. I’ve probably watched it in full 4-5 times, and it’s still an absolute treat every time. Is it the best drama I’ve ever seen? Probably not. But it’s so fun and charming that it’s just gotta be at the top of my list. 

The best way I can describe this drama is Ouran High School Host Club, except in Joseon era Korea, and instead of flirting with girls the main characters learn about Confucianism and solve mysteries and play sports (twice) and end up accidentally involved in a complicated political scandal. Also, that one text post about how Shang from Mulan is bi because he falls for Mulan while he thinks she’s a man...This drama has that, except actually canon. And while I won’t pretend this is show is a shining beacon of representation, there are multiple main characters who are explicitly not heterosexual and several others with very plausible queer readings, which earns it a very special place in my heart.

As for the actual premise of the show, it’s basically about a wonderfully determined and kind and clever but lower-class girl whose writing skills catch the eye of the most stubbornly strait-laced but idealistic aspiring politician-type on the planet. She ends up getting a one-way ticket to the most prestigious school in the country, except she has to pretend to be a man the entire time because women aren’t allowed to be educated at this time. 

It’s a bit of a silly, cheesy show, and here are many wacky shenanigans, but the main cast is full of incredibly highly endearing and multifaceted characters, there is a lot of sexual confusion, the slowburn roommate romance has an incredible payoff, and it’s also full of deeply moving social commentary about class, privilege, and gender roles. This drama is a blast and I could go on and on about what I love about it, I absolutely adore it to pieces.

2. Six Flying Dragons (2015-2016). I debated between this and Tree With Deep Roots (next on my list, to which SFD is a prequel) as my #2 but I do think I want to place SFD higher just because it's the drama that I keep thinking about even after finishing it. of course, it has the dual advantages of 1) being released chronologically later (and having better production value, etc., because of this) and 2) being twice as long, but there’s just so much stuff to unpack with SFD that it makes me want to keep coming back to it. 

The show is about the founding of the Joseon dynasty, and six individuals (half of whom are based on real historical figures and half fictional) whose lives are closely tied to the fall of the old regime and the revolution that brought in the new. It has an intricate, intensely political plotline based on the actual events that happened during this time, and though this may sound kind of boring if you’re like me and not super into history (admittedly, the pacing in the beginning is a tiny bit slow), it quickly picks up and becomes this dense web of character relations and political maneuvering. Though none of the major events should come as a surprise if you’ve seen TWDR or if you happen to already know the history it was based on, the show adds such a depth of humanity and emotion to every event and character that nothing ever feels boring or predictable. As a matter of fact, there are several events that were alluded to in TWDR that, when they actually happened in SFD, left me breathless--because although I 100% knew these were foregone conclusions that were coming up at some point, I still had a visceral moment of, “oh no, so that’s how that came to happen.” 

But though I really enjoyed following the story of SFD and learning about the history behind it, the highlight of the show for me is definitely the great character arcs. I loved TWDR’s characters, too (especially Yi Do, So Yi, and obviously Moo Hyul), but with double the episode count SFD just has so much time for rich, dynamic character development, and I absolutely loved seeing how these characters grew and changed over time when their ideologies and fates collided in this turbulent and violent age: How young and ambitious Yi Bang Won eventually spiraled into a ruthless tyrant, how the naive and kind-hearted Moo Hyul struggled to retain his humanity in a bloody revolution that challenged his values and loyalties to the core, how the fiercely determined and idealistic Boon Yi grew into a pragmatic and capable leader who comes to realize what politics and power mean for her and her loved ones. 

SFD was also everything I wanted as a prequel to TWDR--I loved seeing the contrasts between some of the TWDR characters and their younger selves in the SFD timeline: The hardened and ruthless Bang Won as a passionate and righteous adolescent, the cynical and resigned Bang Ji as a cowardly boy who grows into a traumatized and bitter young man, and my personal favorite character, the comically serious bodyguard Moo Hyul as the very model of the dopey, lovable himbo archetype. And though the ending was controversial among fans (particularly those who watched SFD first), I loved how it closed all the loops and tied it back to the events of TWDR, both providing that transition I wanted but also recontextualizing and adding new meaning to the original work. I think it's still a very good drama on its own, but this hand-off is what really sealed the deal for me personally, because it was not only super emotionally satisfying to watch how the stories connected, but it elevated TWDR to something even greater (suggesting that Yi Do and the events of TWDR was the culmination of everything the six dragons fought so long and hard for), which is exactly what I expect from a good prequel. 

I’ve already talked so much about this drama but I also do need to mention that the soundtrack to SFD is A+, and the sword fights are sick as hell. There is also some romance, though it’s not really a focus--and all the pairings that do exist are extremely tragic, which is exactly up my alley. Overall, this is a hell of a historical drama, coming of age, villain origin story, and martial arts film in one, and I highly recommend it.

3. Tree With Deep Roots (2011). The sequel to SFD, though it aired first chronologically. Although this show isn’t one of those shows that I could rewatch once a year like SKKS or keep ruminating on like SFD, TWDR (much like Les Mis, or Fata Morgana) is thematically the kind of story that just makes my heart sing.

The story centers around the creation of Hangul, the Korean alphabet, by Yi Do (a.k.a., King Sejong the Great, who is the son and successor of Yi Bang Won, the main character of SFD) as well as two fictional childhood friends whose backstories and ambitions become central to the story of how and why this alphabet came to exist. Not only is the actual process of creating this alphabet absolutely fascinating from a linguistic and scientific POV, but the show dramatizes Yi Do’s motivations in a way that’s so incredibly touching and human--portraying the king as a soft-hearted and extremely charismatic yet fundamentally flawed and conflicted figure who tries so desperately to do right by his people. 

The show explores both a number of personal themes like redemption, atonement, and vengeance, as well as broader societal themes such as the ethics of authority, the democratization of knowledge, and the power of language and literacy. Though the show never forgets to remind the audience of the bitter reality of actual history, it’s still a deeply idealistic show whose musings on social change and how to use privilege and power to make the world better are both elegant and poignant. 

Romance definitely takes a backseat in TWDR, even more so than SFD, though this isn’t something I personally mind. There are, however, a lot of interesting politics surrounding the promulgation of the alphabet, including a string of high-profile assassinations--if SFD is historical/political-thriller-meets-action-film, then TWDR is historical/political-thriller-meets-murder-mystery, and it’s an incredibly tightly written and satisfying story whose pieces fall into place perfectly. Though not the sprawling epic that SFD is, TWDR is an emotional journey and an extremely well-written story with a TON of goodies if you’re as excited about linguistics as I am. 

4. White Christmas (2011). My first non-sageuk on this list! White Christmas is, in a lot of ways, an odd drama. It’s an 8-episode special, and featured largely (at the time) new talent. it’s also neither a historical work nor romance-focused, but instead a short but intense psychological thriller/murder mystery. 

The premise is this: Seven students at a super elite boarding school tucked away in the mountains receive mysterious black letters that compel them to remain on campus during the one vacation of the year. The letters describe various “sins” that the author accuses the students of committing, as well as the threat of a “curse” as well as an impending death. The students quickly find that they’re stranded alone at the school with a murderer in their midst, as they are forced to confront their shared histories and individual traumas to figure out 1) why they’ve been sent the letters, and 2) how to make it out alive. At the center of the survival game the characters find themselves in is a recurring question: “Are monsters born, or can they be made?”

If you’ve been following me for a while, it’s easy to see why I was drawn to this drama. In terms of setup and tone, it’s Zero Escape. In theme, it’s Naoki Urasawa’s Monster. It’s Lord of the Flies meets Dead Poets Society. or as one of my mutuals swyrs@ put it, Breakfast Club meets Agatha Christie. The story is flawlessly paced with not a scene wasted. There’s so much good foreshadowing and use of symbolic imagery, and though I’ve watched it at least 3-4 times, I always find interesting new details to analyze. The plot twists (though not so meta-breaking as ZE) are absolutely nuts, and aside from the somewhat questionable ending, the story is just really masterfully written.

Above all, though, WC is excellent for its character studies. Though I typically tend to stay away from shows that center around teenagers because I don’t find their struggles and experiences particularly relatable, WC does such an excellent job of picking apart every character psychologically, showing their traumas, their desires, their fears, and their insecurities. We see these kids at their most violent and cruel, but also their most vulnerable and honest. Their stories and motivations are so profoundly human that I found even the worst and most despicable characters painfully sympathetic at times, as cowardly and hypocritical and unhinged as they became. 

Like I said, it’s only 8 episodes long with probably the best rewatch value on this list. My only complaints about it are its ending, as well as its relative lack of female characters, but otherwise I would absolutely recommend.

5. Signal (2016). Okay, this might be the recency bias talking because I just finished this series but I'm sure but I'm still reeling at the mind-screw of an ending and I feel like it deserves a place on this spot just for that.

Signal is a crime thriller based on a number of real-life incidents that happened in Korea in the last 30 or so years. In short, a young profiler from the year 2015, who has a grudge against the police after witnessing their incompetence and corruption twice as a child, happens to find a mysterious walkie-talkie that seems to be able to send and receive messages from the past. on the other end is an older detective from 2000 who tells him that he’s about to start receiving messages from his younger self, back in 1989. Through the seemingly sporadic radio communications, the two men work together to solve a series of cold cases, which begin to change the past and alter the timeline.

As they solve these cases, expose corruption within the police department, and correct past injustices, the two men (along with a third, female detective who has connections to both of them) also begin to unravel the mysteries of their pasts, as well as why and how they came to share this connection.

Like WC, the story and pacing of this drama were flawless, reminding me of an extended movie rather than a TV series. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time, and the 16-episode run went by in no time at all. I always love timeline shenanigans and explorations of causality and fate and the consequences of changing the past, and this show has oodles of that peppered with the heartbreakingly tragic human connections and stories that the main characters share. The main pairing has great chemistry and gave me exactly the pain I crave from a doomed timeline romance, and the cinematography and soundtrack were also beautiful, which also contributed to the polished, cinema-like feel.

My only complaint is that I wish that the ending felt more like an ending, such that the drama could stand on its own. I do realize this is because there’s a second season coming, but right now the show feels somewhat incomplete, ending on a huge, ambiguous cliffhanger/sequel hook and with several loose ends. I obviously can’t give a final verdict until the entire thing airs (and I typically don’t like multi-season shows, so I will wait for the next season to come out both reluctantly and begrudgingly), but even where the show leaves off I still did enjoy it immensely.

...And now, some brief thoughts on the other 5 shows I’ve watched, because I ran out of steam and have less to say about these:

6. Healer (2014-2015). It’s been a few years since I’ve seen this show, but I remember being really impressed by this drama at the time, especially the storyline. Unfortunately though I don’t remember too much about the drama itself, which is a shame. It’s a mystery/thriller, I think, and there is hacking and crimes involved? The main character is a very cute and sweet tabloid writer and she falls in love with a mysterious and cool action boy who helps her uncover the truth behind a tragic incident that relates to her past, or something. Judging from my liveblog it seems like this was an extremely emotional journey, and I enjoyed the main couple (who are both very attractive) a lot, and it was just overall a cathartic and feel-good experience. I feel like I should rewatch this drama at some point?

7. Rooftop Prince (2012). It’s also been forever since I watched this show but I remember thinking it was hilarious and delightful and I definitely cried a lot though I do not remember why (probably something something time travel, something something reincarnation/fated lovers??). I do remember that the premise is that a Joseon-era prince and several of his servants accidentally time travel into modern-day Seoul and end up meeting the main character who is the future reincarnation of his love (?) and he is hilariously anachronistic and also insufferably pretentious, which the MC absolutely does not cut him any slack for, and they have an extremely good dynamic.

8. Coffee Prince (2007). I watched this around the same time as Rooftop Prince and I remember really enjoying it! it’s basically just SKKS, but the modern cafe AU, and I mean that in the best way possible? It definitely shares a lot of the same tropes--crossdressing/tomboy female lead, sexually questioning male lead who falls in love with her despite being “straight,” very good chemistry and also extremely charming secondary characters.

9. Shut Up Flower Boy Band (2012). This show...Was just OK. I enjoyed it at the time, but I can’t say I found it particularly memorable. As I said, I don’t typically find stories about high school students particularly relatable, and the battle of the bands-type plot was interesting enough at the time but didn’t really leave a lasting impression. As expected, the music was pretty good. I kind of watched this mostly to hear Sung Joon sing tbh?

10. Rebel: Thief Who Stole the People (2017). I wanted to like this show. I really did. I wouldn’t say it was bad, but the beginning was painfully slow, and I only really enjoyed the last 10 episodes or so, when the vive la révolution arc finally started kicking off. The pacing was challenging--the pre-timeskip dragged on about twice as long as it needed to, and I just wasn’t really interested in the Amogae/Yiquari storyline very much. I also really, really disliked all the romances in the show, especially the main pairing, since I didn’t particularly love either the male or the female leads until pretty late in the show. Overall I think I would have enjoyed the show more if the first 2/3 of it was about half as long, and it either developed the romance better or cut it out altogether.

What I’m thinking of watching next:

1. Chuno (2010). Mostly because the soundtrack to this show is so goddamn good, but also because I’m craving more historical dramas with good sword fights after SFD. I was kind of hoping Rebel would fill that need but I was a little disappointed tbh?

2. Warrior Baek Dong Soo (2011). Same reasons as above, honestly. also has a very good soundtrack, and Ji Chang Wook, who is a known nice face-haver, doing many very cool sword fights.

3. Mr. Sunshine (2018). Late Joseon era is something I’ve never really seen before in media so I’m pretty intrigued? Also Byun Yo Han was one of my favorites from SFD and I definitely want to see him in more things.

4. Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung (2019). A coworker recommended this to me and the trailer looks delightful. first of all it’s a sageuk with the gorgeous and talented Shin Se Kyoung in it playing a smart and plucky female lead, which have historically been extremely good to me, but also it gives me massive SKKS vibes, so how could I not.

5. My Country: The New Age (2019). This caught my attention because it’s based on the same historical events as SFD, so it features some of the same characters. I am very very interested in Jang Hyuk’s take on Yi Bang Won, even if he is less of a main character here compared to SFD, and he’s already an adult so he’ll already be well on his way to bastardhood. I also hear it’s very heartbreaking, which is instant eyes emoji for me?

6. Chicago Typewriter (2017). It’s about freedom fighters from the colonization era, which I’m very intrigued by after The Handmaiden and Pachinko, plus a reincarnation romance. I am very predictable in my choice of tropes. Also, Yoo Ah In is in it.

7. Arthdal Chronicles (2019-). Ok, it’s a gorgeous-looking historical fantasy set in Korea written by the same writers as TWDR and SFD, plus it has not just one but TWO Song Joong Ki characters, one of which is a pure, doe-eyed soft boy and the other an evil long-haired fae prince looking asshole who I hear is a complete and utter Unhinged Bastard Supreme. Nothing has ever been more Camille Bait than this, but unfortunately this show hasn’t finished airing, which does pain me deeply. speaking of,

8. Kingdom (2019-). It’s a fantasy sageuk with zombies, is about the extent I know about this show. The fact that it also hasn’t finished airing turns me off a bit but it looks absolutely gorgeous and I also just found out it was written by the same writer as Signal, so,,,,,,,,,

9. Gunman in Joseon (2014). I honestly don’t expect too much from this drama but I just enjoy its premise a lot? From what I understand it’s just Percy from Critical Role, but make it Joseon era.......Like, they just straight up took a Shadow the Hedgehog, “let’s make a sageuk, but guns,” approach, and I kind of unironically love that. Also the soundtrack kicks ass, which like...you can really see where my priorities lie here, huh,

10. Misaeng (2014). I don’t remember at this point why this is on my list but I found it in the Keep note I have of all the media I want to watch?? I have no idea what this show is about, except that it takes place in an office. Apparently Byun Yo Han is also in this one? I’m sorry this is the only non-sageuk or sageuk-adjacent show in this list, I know what I’m about, and it’s fancy old-timey costumes and cool braids.

#/ #// #/// #//// #///// #cam thoughts #KDrama #this is the most self-indulgent thing i've written in a while but it felt good to shout my many thoughts into this void of a blog #also i typed most of this out a few days ago since which i already started watching misaeng #so far it is very good but also the exact opposite of what i was expecting..whatever that is?? #long post / #Television

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Christmas Special Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Much like I did for Halloween, I wanted to do a bunch of one-shot or at the very least minor Christmas villains, which presented me with an interesting problem – most Christmas specials don’t really have villains. Usually the main obstacle to overcome in any holiday special is some sort of emotional fault of the main character, a lack of belief in the spirit of the holiday, or something to that effect, and when there is an actual villain, it tends to just be ones from the show at large with a Christmas-related scheme. Like I’m not doing Princess Morbucks or the Kanker sisters for this.

Luckily, There were a few I was sure on, and I managed to scrounge up a few more to deliver five lovingly-wrapped holiday villains. We have:

Mrs. Claus from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Ghost Writer from Danny Phantom

Robot Santa from Futurama

Edna Jucation and the Faculty Four from Codename: Kids Next Door

The Woodland Critters from South Park

Here’s the most interesting thing: Despite Christmas stories tending to lean more towards internal conflict and self-reflection, when they do have actual, tangible threats like these, they tend to be honestly and genuinely great. This is in stark contrast to A lot of the villains from the Halloween specials, who tended to just be big scary baddies without much oomph to them.

Actor: Mrs. Claus is portrayed by Carol Kane, an incredibly prolific actress who you may know best as Valerie, the wife of Miracle Max from The Princess Bride. And much like in that film, she manages to be as enjoyable and funny as the guy playing her husband, which is a tall order indeed – in that film it was Billy Crystal, and in the special it’s Gilbert Gottfried.

Ghost Writer is portrayed by Will Arnett of all people. This was post-Gob Bluth but pre-Batman and BoJack, so while not unknown by any stretch it’s definitely weird to go back and see him in a Butch Hartman action cartoon of all places. He does a great job, as to be expected; when has he ever done poorly?

In his first appearance, Robot Santa was voiced by none other than John Goodman. Normally I’d say Goodman would be perfect for the role of Santa, but… this one’s a maniacal robotic serial killer. It’s a wonderfully jarring juxtaposition. After that, John DiMaggio gave Robot Santa a voice for his other appearances, and he does a good job for sure. Obviously he’s no John Goodman, but really, who is?

Edna Jucation is voiced by Candi Milo, and the Faculty Four are played by Dee Bradley Baker and Darran Norris; Baker is the Unintelligible Tutor and Thesaurus Rex, while Norris is Mr. Physically Fitastic and the Human Text. These are all top-tier veteran voice actors, and they do a fine job, but I can’t particularly say they really make any of these characters stand out or be memorable, which is a shame.

As to be expected, the Woodland Critters are voiced by Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Big shock there. Even less shocking is that they are perfectly funny as these depraved animals.

Motivation/Goals: Out of all of these, I think it’s really fitting that Mrs. Claus is the one with the best motivation. As the HEAD head vampire in the North Pole, she has turned Santa into a vampire and put a halt on Christmas because she is overworked and exhausted, having to do all the household chores all year while Santa only works one night. It is absolutely, perfectly understandable that she snapped… but apparently this isn’t even the first time, as Santa mentions at the end this has happened on multiple prior occasions. You think he’d treat her better after the second or third time, but then we wouldn’t have a plot.

I’d say that Ghost Writer and the Woodland Critters are tied for the next spot; both of them have solid reasons for doing what they’re doing. Ghost Writer was just a humble author trying to finish a Christmas story in time for Christmas, but unfortunately this caught the eye of the extremely Scroogey Danny Phantom, who absolutely hates Christmas due to traumatic events caused by his family fighting on Christmas in the past. Danny, in a moment of incredible callousness, blasts the poor ghost’s manuscript to bits and then proceeds to rub it in, which drives GW to breaking the annual truce and using his powers to torment Danny by trapping him in a Christmas story where he and everyone else can only speak in rhyme. It’s honestly hard to feel sympathy for Danny here, but GW does take it a bit too far.

The Woodland Critters, on the other hand, are just utterly depraved… but that’s to be expected seeing as they are the creations of Eric Cartman, inhabiting a Christmas story whose sole reason for existing is to make Kyle look like a tool. In the story, they get Kyle knocked up with the Antichrist. You see, there master is Satan, and they want nothing more than for his spawn to be born into the world. They really just exist as a reason for Cartman to rip on Kyle for being a Jew at Christmastime, as Kyle himself points out in their debut episode.

Edna and the Faculty Four are a bit simple and amusing, as is befitting of a gimmicky villain from The world of the KND. They team up with the Delightful Children because Substitute Teacher’s Day is virtually unknown compared to Christmas, the kind of absurd, wacky reason for villainy you’d expect from a world where some of the most feared supervillains include an evil dentist and a vampire who spanks people. Robot Santa is likewise extremely simple, yet effective: every Christmas he flies down to Earth to punish the naughty – which is everyone except Zoidberg. This is due to a programming oversight that left his standards set way too high, so no one can ever measure up. Except Zoidberg. There’s really not much more to him than that, but really, does their need to be?

Final Fate: Mrs. Claus is redeemed at the end of the special thanks to Billy, who helps her understand the true meaning of Christmas and who heals her husband so that he can apologize. Things seem like they might work out for real this time because now Malcolm McDowell’s vampire is around to help with tidying up, so hooray! Happy ending here!

Ghost Writer gets thwarted because Danny picks up an orange; as Ghost Writer never watched Drake & Josh and thus didn’t realize that “door hinge” is an acceptable rhyme, he was unable to continue writing his story and got beat up by Danny and his rogues gallery and then thrown into Walker’s prison for breaking the yearly truce in the Ghost Zone. At least he got to complete his book?

The Woodland Critters go out when Santa comes in and blasts them away with a shotgun… but since they are technically fictional characters, they show up in Imaginationland to cause problems. Still, it’s reassuring to know they can be taken out with simple firearms.

Edna Jucation, the Faculty Four, and Robot Santa really don’t have any canonical final fate; they just get defeated and then go on their merry way. In Robot Santa’s case, he actually showed up quite a few more times after his initial appearance to wreak havoc, but the Faculty Four and Edna were entirely oneshot antagonists.

Final Thoughts & Score: Christmas honestly fares a lot better than Halloween does as far as I can see. The villains tend to be a lot more thematic, or at the very least they have more personality and thematic function. Halloween doesn’t really have any sort of core themes to work off of as opposed to Christmas, which has a lot of reoccurring themes in works based around it. Still, most of these characters just settle on being funny.

Mrs. Claus and the Woodland Critters are the best of the bunch here, and both earn themselves a spot on the Nice List with a 9/10 each. Mrs. Claus is just a lot of fun, mostly because of the fact she has legitimate grievances on top of being a unique twist on the character. Mrs. Claus as a vampire overlord who commands hordes of vampire elves? That’s the sort of creative wackiness that Billy & Mandy delivered on. The Woodland Critters are just funny, plain and simple, acting as the sort of amusing subversion that could be expected of from South Park in its glory days as well as being totally in line with Cartman’s personality. These are the exact sort of original characters I’d expect from a guy who ground up a kid’s parents and made them into chili, what with their blood orgies and ultraviolence. Amusingly enough, they score a point higher than Cartman did in his own Psycho Analysis, which is mostly due to their limited appearances meaning that they stay remarkably consistent, where Cartman tends to be whatever an episode needs to be, be that hero, anti-hero, or villain.

Next up are Ghost Writer and Robot Santa, who both get 7/10. Ghost Writer is a very amusing oneshot, but it’s honestly weird that out of all the Villains from Danny Phantom, he’s the first one I talked about. You’d think it would be Ember or Vlad or something… at any rate, he’s an amusing antagonist, but he’s also one who it’s hard not to view as being in the right, especially since Danny was just a jerk to him completely unprovoked due to his own personal hangups with the holidays. As usual with fun ideas on the show though he was only ever used once, which is a real shame but at the same time understandable; his gimmick really only works with Christmas, so it would have been weird shoehorning him into another episode’s plot. For what he is, he’s fun.

Robot Santa has a similar problem, not really being able to function outside of Christmas specials, but his few appearances leave him as an amusing antagonist who never really overstays his welcome. He’s not as entertaining or engaging as, say, Mom, but he definitely offers some laughs with his hilarious concept and his ridiculous levels of bloodlust. Points t him for helping out the heroes in the first Futurama movie too.

That just leaves us with Edna and the Faculty Four, and the Faculty Four just manage to scrape onto the bottom of the Nice List with a collective 5/10. They don’t really have much character or personality, especially when compared to the heroic Marvel pastiche that is Elfa Strike, but as brief amusing gag villains meant to pay loving tribute to the Fantastic Four, I think they’re decent. Edna is not so lucky; she’s a bit obnoxious, shrill, and doesn’t really correlate to any sort of Marvel character, which is baffling since the entire episode is one big love letter to Marvel comics. Sad to say, but she’s landing smack dab on the Naughty List with a 2/10. She doesn’t even have a cool gimmick!

I suppose that wraps it up for Christmas special villains. Doing something like this is tough, because it really makes you sit back and wonder what sort of Christmas villains you should put on. Obviously I avoided any theatrical film villains, but that did leave one particularly glaring omission of a villain from a holiday special… a big, green, unpleasant omission. He’s a mean one, for sure...

#Psycho Analysis #Christmas #the grim adventures of billy and mandy #Mrs. Claus #Carol Kane #Danny Phantom #Ghost Writer #Will Arnett #codename kids next door #The Faculty Four #Edna Jucation #Dee Bradley Baker #Daran Norris #Candi Milo #The Woodland Critters #South Park #Trey Parker #Matt Stone #Robot Santa #Futurama #John Goodman #John DiMaggio

[choices-and-voices]

Jumping the Tracks: storytelling, capitalism, and the reason why ATV fell down

So I just finished the finale of ATV. And, like a lot of people - I was disappointed. The story has been really, really good in previous weeks, but the entire finale was just a litany of characters dying (if you didn’t pay diamonds) or being unrealistically saved (if you did). I chose the ending where the Vanguard and the Jura both deploy the astral charges, and it was so abrupt that I think there were literally five sentences between the explosion and the end of the book. I also romanced Sol, and the fact that he’s been lying to MC to the point where they almost died was not REMOTELY dealt with. The story ended with the two of them hugging and staring up at the sky, and - that’s when I realised something. There is one situation where this would be the perfect ending for ATV. But here’s the catch - it’s a situation based on choices that I didn’t make.

As weird as this sounds, ATV only makes sense if a) you don’t spend diamonds in the last few chapters, and b) you have MC sacrifice themselves. Because in that case, it actually becomes this powerful, heart-wrenching story hugely reminiscent of Rogue One - a story about the chaos of war, and all the individuals caught in the middle of it, and the way they keep growing and changing in spite of it until it ultimately steals everything away. In the first part of this post, I’m going to be offering evidence for that claim. In the second part, I’m going to be exploring just how and why ATV’s other plot branches went so wrong.

I mean, just think about Holmes for a second - Holmes, whose entire character arc has been about not belonging, feeling useless. If you let Holmes die in the finale, he dies a hero’s death saving MC, and tells Pax that he’s happy he did it because he’s proved he’s ‘not just in the way.’ It’s a devastating conversation but it’s also incredibly, incredibly well-written, to the point where the screencaps made me cry. The same can be said of Admiral Deimos’ death two chapters ago, where she and Eos quoted the Marshall’s Oath at each other before she was shot into the stars. But if you save Admiral Deimos? All you get is a cheesy one-liner about how Eos has her back. And if you save Holmes, not only does he stumble away from the battlefield to throw up - reaffirming the very stereotype that he’s been trying to fight - but he then quotes the EXACT same ‘not in the way’ line to Pax afterwards, in a situation where it makes no sense.

The point is, ATV was clearly written with the intention that Holmes and Deimos wouldn’t survive, because when they do their character arcs stay incomplete. It didn’t necessarily have to be that way - the writers could have added epilogue scenes where Holmes comes to terms with not needing to prove himself, or where Deimos leads the Marshalls into a brighter, more transparent future. But they chose not to that, and by extension, they pretty much confirmed that saving Holmes and/or Deimos was never a legitimately-planned plot pathway. I could give tons more examples of points in the finale where this concept recurred, but I’m going to focus on the very end just in the interests of time. The only situation in which it feels right for the story to end with the explosion is when that explosion kills MC. Similarly, the only situation in which it’d feel right for MC to forgive Sol so quickly is if MC knows they’ll never get another chance. And on top of that, even just having the other astral charge choices available cheapened MC’s sacrifice, because what’s the point of a sacrifice that could have been 100% avoided? What’s the point of dying to save the galaxy if the galaxy would have been literally fine by itself? When I chose to have both the Vanguard and the Jura deploy the charges, I honestly thought that it meant I was sacrificing two pilots for the sake of galactic peace - because that makes sense both thematically and logically. If MC couldn’t survive it, why could they, right? But they did survive it, because the writers didn’t care what happened in that ending. Because that wasn’t the ending that the writers had planned.

In my opinion, this is what makes ATV so frustrating as a reader and so interesting as an observer, because most interactive fiction actually suffers from the opposite problem. In most cases, the writers won’t allow an ending that they haven’t planned for, so the reader gets forced towards a particular plotline irrespective of what choices they make - a phenomenon known as railroading. But in ATV’s case, while there’s still one railroaded plot, the train keeps jumping the tracks. The writers will let it off, but won’t give it anywhere else to go. It’s inevitably heading towards a crash.

Before we go any further, I want to clarify - I don’t think we can say with certainty why the writers did this. I think there were probably a lot of factors at play, and we can’t point fingers without knowing the full story. Maybe the writers stretched themselves too thin. Maybe it was down to poor planning. Or maybe the planning was initially really good, but truncating everything into one book messed things up. I don’t doubt that, if the writers had been given more time & resources to finish ATV off, each of the endings would have gotten at least slightly more attention. But there’s one pattern to the ‘off the tracks’ choices that I have to emphasise - they’re usually diamond choices. As everyone in the fandom has been pointing out, the reader is asked to pay to save someone’s life, and when that person’s life then stays unfulfilled you have to wonder if it was just a quick cash-grab all along.

I think there are a lot of implications behind this failure of PB to deliver on diamond choices, and I don’t have time to go into them here. On one hand, it’s admirable that you don’t need to spend diamonds on ATV to get the most cohesive version on the plot. On the other, it’s kinda terrible that giving PB your money gets you a product that’s worse. And it’s especially bad when the choices relate to someone dying because that’s obviously an idea that has a lot of implications, and for PB to be throwing it left, right and centre is at least a little bit emotionally-exploitative. But all I really wanted to do in this essay is flag the reasons why ATV fell down, and their relationship to a capitalist system where the integrity of the story comes second to the money that you spend on it. This idea isn’t as obvious in most interactive fiction, because most interactive fiction only charges you the once - when you buy the book. So I just think this is a good opportunity to recognise that the problem exists, and to remember the fact that storytelling - this ancient, deeply-human tradition that started off as something aural, something meaning-infused, something shared - is worth much more than any price tag, and should never, ever be subjugated to it.

PS: Before I post, I want to straight-up clarify that I’m not saying art doesn’t deserve financial compensation! As much as I may wax poetic about art being ‘outside of’ capitalism, the fact remains that artists are living in a capitalist society, and they’re putting a lot of time into their work. You’d pay anyone else for bringing you joy, whether that be by making you food or clothes or whatever, and there’s zero reason why artists deserve your money less. I only think it’s a problem in situations like this, where the financial aspect makes the art itself totally fall apart.

#playchoices #choices: stories you play #across the void #atv #sol x mc #fandom essay #sorry for the long post guys #i haven't really written a fandom essay before but the finale gave me a lot of thoughts #and i hope they came through all right #original post

[geminijackdaw]

Fanfic Author Asks

Tagged by @bereft-of-frogs​! 

I... have a really hard time being positive about my own writing, but I tried OTL 

Author Name: I’m KiwiMeringue pretty much everywhere! I might change it to this one sometime? But I’ve changed it before and I don’t want to keep like, switching all the time OTL I should probably just have called it like KiwiWrites or something, but the thing about this username is I just thought it was cute and unintentionally led a bunch of people to assume I was from New Zealand which is patently false advertising and very disappointing when it turns out I’m Canadian xD; 

Fandoms you Write for: I’ve got stories published for the MCU, and Naruto!  Uhhh I’m blanking on things I’m famiiliar enough with to write for but there are a bunch? Critical role, the adventure zone, Good omens, netflix she-ra., maybe? Homestuck, but more @mr-alice and I’s fantrolls and kids, who still have a huge place in my heart, more than canon.  

Where you post: I’m kiwimeringue on AO3 and FF.net, and then any like small prompt fills I’d probably leave here, 

Most Popular One-shot: Hands down, it’s Therapy Dog.  In which a young Hatake Kakashi deals with grief, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD by acquiring an irresponsible number of dogs. (Disclaimer: this does not work irl if you’re not a magic dog whisperer with a large property out of town) 

Favourite Story You Wrote:  This is as far as I got and this has been sitting in my drafts for days because I really, really struggle with this. I have a hard time being proud of anything I write. I guess it’s Therapy dog, becuase it’s definitely the one that’s resonated best with people, and probably my best example of “Look, I wrote a fanfic!” without having to qualify it with a bunch of asterisks. 

I have given myself a self-imposed deadline of from October 1st to halloween to finish a prompt that I got from @portraitoftheoddity​ in her discord server, (it’s not SUPER spooky, but it’s tenuously thematically appropriate enough that I’m making it my project for the month xD) if I can pull this off, it will be this one. It should be fun. 

Story You Were Nervous to Post: ALL OF THEM. Time I had some Time Alone (TIHSTA) is like a self-indulgent au of a self indulgent au, and I;m amazed anyone enjoyed it xD It got more of a response that Undying Fidelity (UF), the fic from which is is derived, did, for a while, which surprised me. I sort of what to qualify that I started this before I found the incredible corner of the MCU writer’s fandom that I currently frequent, so uh... this is very much Disney Grandmaster. This is Jeff Goldblum in space. Which is what I’m comfortable writing, but feels really pale and inconsequential in contrast to the horrifically vivid and rich dark carnival of twisted Grandmaster fan content that exists, like welcome to fucking weenie hut Jr’s, population: me. 

How Do You Pick Your Titles: With great difficulty and much waffling! Kintsugi is named for thematic relevance that... I haven’t actually gotten to yet but it’s about to become stupid literal anyone who read version 1.0 knows how I mean this. But the idea of things history, and damage being inextricably linked to them, but that the thing can go on anyway, changed but not ruined, there’s recurring imagery and points of fault lines, places where things have been weakened, but that these are important and necessary. 

I don’t feel like I have to explain Therapy Dog xD it’s about coping with grief... with dogs. 

Undying Fidelity is like, painfully obvious, but it’s what I had started calling it, and it just. stuck. Obviously from Loki’s like... second last line in IW, and Sigyn’s title in the Marvel Comics. I’m kind of wishing I’d chosen something else, because there are definitely other fics with the same title, and it’s the name of a song from the IW soundtrack that is... less than fun. For obvious reason. I mean it’s perfect for what it was used for, but it’s not a “ahhh gonna pop this one on for a listen” kind of piece. I still can’t think of anything better, though we’re kind of in a weird place because I don’t quite have all the cards on the table, yet. On Loki’s end though,I’m hoping that I’ve sufficiently established this like... tenuous vestigial little flicker of affection that he’s been able to more or less ignore, but that simply would not go out, despite how much easier that would have been, that’s been given a little room to breathe now. (I could definitely go on trying to justify this for paragraphs, so I’ll stop now xD). Thematic chapter naming is another thing I love to inflict on myself and I always regret it, though I love it so much when other people do it, ahhh. UF’s chapters are all named after cards of the Major Arcana in the Tarot. I’m going to get to one eventually and you’re all going to see why I did this, and you’re all going to hate me and I deserve it xD 

Time I Had Some Time Alone is the thing that’s repeated at the end of REM’s :”It’s the end of the world as we know it” and does sort of describe our reluctant hero’s state at the beginning xD Thriving in his completely self centered backstabbing Littlefinger party hellscape. (I went off on a huge tangent here that I have removed, I may make it its own post). Anyway, more thematic chapter naming, everything’s based on some apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic story. So 21 Days later (since for Loki it felt like three weeks) instead of 28, and chapter two is now titled “beyond thunderdome” because of course it is. (it was “the man come around” for like, THE ARRIVAL OF DEATH  but that uh... that’s going to be a later chapter now). 

Fic-in-planning stages will be called some variant of “Again, from the Top”? Take it from the top? ugh I’m trying to evoke like... redoing a scene. 

There was also Errant, my NaNoWriMo story from like 2012 or something? xD It was about a bunch of idiots that were basically an RPG party in a shitty High fantasy bullshit setting. So like, as in, “a knight errant” wandering in search of adventure, but also in the sense of like like... they’re a bunch of dumbasses making mistakes. 

Do you Outline: Yes! I definitely need to be more organized about it because my outlines are like these stupid irreverent event sequences that involve me remembering nuance way too well. Like for Kintsugi especially I’m scared I’ll have forgotten important minutia that I didn’t bother including becauyse oh pfft, of course I’ll remember that. And then I ...dont. My initial outlines for UF were an excel spreadsheet with scenes in various tiem periods that I dragged and dropped all over the place xD It was SUPPOSED to be thematically relevant paired scenes, with one part of each chapter being zset in the past and one half on the statesman and it just... did not work out that way. 

How Many of Your Stories are complete: One! And it’s the one-shot! FML!

In-Progress:  Undying Fidelity: Currently working on chapter 10 out of 22 TIHSTA: 2 out of... probably 4+ epilogue? Kintsugi: 13/Mayyybe like 30 something?

Coming Soon: From the Top is in its planning stages~! 

Do You Accept Prompts: Absolutely! I can’t guarantee that a prompt is going to like... spark writing? in me? But I’m always open to the idea. And that doesn’t mean that an idea is bad or anything! Just like, can I, personally, take this idea and run with it somewhere. 

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: Probably from the top, though I am two chapters out from part of of UF I am reeeeeally looking forward to writing :D 

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions: I don’t know who’s been tagged already, I’m so bad at this, so uhh~ If you have been already, or if you just don’t feel like it, please disregard this! And if I don’t tag you but you feel like it, go for it!  @teleris-night @malicemanaged @cosmicmewtwo @not-so-terrible and @ramblingredrose 

#Ask memes #long post #Omg Ammy shut up #Ahh thank you so much! #Also thank you anon I needed that little nudge to get this done

[doomedandstoned]

Lexington’s FORREST Astound with Musical Wizardry in ‘Final Frontier’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Art by Brittani Fuller

For the past few weeks, Doomed & Stoned has been treating you to the sounds of 'Final Frontier' (2019), the new EP from Kentucky's proggy instrumental post-sludge quartet FORREST, and today we get to hear the record in its entirety. It's a clever, even inventive, and electrifying spin that finds Forrest wrangling a rambunctious, sprawling sound like a veteran rodeo cowboy.

Here we have five exciting numbers that can certainly stand up as self-contained tracks, but for full impact you can't beat taking them as five consecutive shots (though you might end up just a bit tipsy by the end). There's the hot-to-trot opener, "Bubba"; the monstrous "To Lose a Whale"; the grave, but persistent doomer, "The Final Frontier (Dan II)," featuring some very tight drumming; the punchy, proggy crooner "The Intensity of Frenchness"; the folksy jig-turned-dirge, "Specialman," complete with some surprisingly warm vintage rock moments; and the vigorous album closer, "Vacation (...Don't Ever Come Back), which feels like a solemn car ride full of aching heads and reflection after a night of solid debauchery.

Congrats to Riley Logan (lead guitar), Charlie Overman (rhythm guitar, synths), Jared McIntyre, and Josh Summerville (drums) on this bold and distinct entry into the ever crowding swamp of sludgy doom! If you're anything like me, you'll find yourself binge listening this one on the daily. Final Frontier by Forrest releases on Wednesday, July 17th.

Give ear...

Final Frontier by Forrest

Peeking Under The Hood with Forrest

Photographs by Nathan Hampton

'Final Frontier' is an incredible effort, guys. What are some of your roots, musically and technically speaking?

For influences, I'd say Melvins, Deftones, Yob, and Mastodon.

I'm always interested to hear different band's experiences recording an album, especially when it sounds this damned good. Walk us into studio, if you would, and describe the whole she-bang for.

The EP’s got its fair share of progginess, but even the least doomy tracks on the record were recorded through old Sunn stuff and driven mainly by boutique fuzz pedals built by our friend Eric over at frost giant electronics -- he’s also in the band Switchblade Jesus. The production and engineering side of things was done by our good friend Will Chewning at Springhurst Recording studio. The environment was super chill, and this was the second time we’ve worked with him. We love it there. The artwork was done by Brittani Fuller.

I think it would be cool to give our readers some insight into the songs on the new record. Do you mind walking us through it?

Alright, Billy, so in regards to background on the tracks:

Bubba -- As far as thematic tie-ins, it's named after the character Bubba from the movie Forrest Gump. In fact, as you'll see, most of this EP's songs are either Forrest Gump themed or Star Trek: The Next Generation themed.

To Lose a Whale -- This song was originally going to be added to the end of the EP as a bonus track. However, once the song was finished we timed it's length and discovered it was roughly three-and-a-half minutes long, so we decided to add it as its own track. With this second song, while it does have a rather different sound than the rest of the EP, it still follows a similar formula to many Forrest songs, "Bubba" and "The Intensity of Frenchness" in particular -- the pattern being a heavy/catchy intro riff, a high, spacey post-lead thingy in the middle, and then a return to that heavy/catchy riff. The song was in part inspired by Gojira, hence the name, "To Lose a Whale." On the song "Flying Whales" by Gojira, their vocalist at one point screams, "I have to find the whales!" Riley and I were listening to it once and he goes: "It'd have to be pretty fuckin hard to lose a whale!" Beyond the Gojira reference, the sample in the beginning is from a scene in Star Trek: The Next Generation in which Data attempts to do stand-up comedy.

The Final Frontier (Dan II) -- Half the title is obviously a Star Trek reference. However, the second half is the song's original title, very simply "Dan II." There's a song off of our first EP entitled "Dan," named after Lieutenant Dan from Forrest Gump. In "Dan II" we took the bridge riff from the original "Dan" and turned it into one of the song's main riffs. The bridge section in the middle of the song, over which Riley takes a solo, was probably bit off the album which we all spent the most time obsessing over. That bridge section was inspired primarily by Yob. I can say with confidence, I think it's one of the sweetest doom riffs around.

The Intensity of Frenchness -- This is a reference to Captain Jean Luc-Picard, the captain of the Enterprise on Star Trek: The Next Generation. The song opens with a sample from the show in which Picard delivers his famous one-liner: "Make it so." The intro riff is also inspired by a French progressive rock band called Totorro. This is the third song on the record after "Bubba" and "To Lose a Whale" that follows the formula of heavy/catchy intro to weird, spacey post-lead riff and then back to a heavy/catchy riff. In this song, and in Bubba's case, they return to the same riff as in the intro.

Specialman -- This one's named as such because Forrest Gump is a special man. Maybe that's insensitive or something, I don't know. Regardless, this one's inspiration is sort of all over the place. The only thing I can say for sure is that the bridge section with the jazzy chords was written in an attempt to weave a doo-wop chord progression into a metal song, and I'd say it was done successfully. The song reminds me of the Melvins, in many ways -- the last riff of the song, the tones, and the way things are played; you know, dynamics and all.

Vacation (...don't ever come back) -- After the recording was finished, Riley described it as John Baizley and Mike Scheidt merged into one big, pretty, doomy thing. Something along those lines. It was heavily inspired by the Baroness song "Grad," and while I can't say for certain, I'd say the flute popped into his head either from Zelda or from Jethro Tull. The song gets its title from another Forrest Gump reference, in which Forrest is talking about his Dad leaving his Mom and him as a boy, and his Mom describing it to him as a vacation. I think Forrest asks something like, "What's a vacation?" and she goes when you leave and never come back. Something along those lines.

What kind of instruments, amps, and gear did you use in the recording?

Just for context, our standard rigs are:

Charlie (rhythm guitar): Epiphone SG for C standard tuning, an Ibanez rg7421 for 7-string A standard tuning, Egnater Tweaker 40 amplifier head, Way huge electronics Green Rhino, Frost Giant Electronics Massif, a 300-watt 2x12 with an Eminence Tonker and an Eminence Legend 1218. I also turned on a nano chorus occasionally.

Riley (lead guitar): Gibson Les Paul Studio, occasionally a Fender Strat, both for C standard tuning, Ibanez rg7421 for 7-string A standard tuning, Jet City JCA20HV which is a head they made in part with the Soldano brand. He uses a Laney 2x12, also 300-watts with two Eminence Swamp Thangs in it. As far as pedals for him, he was using a Frost Giant Electronics Soma Fuzz, a Leviathan which is a custom one off pedal he had made by a guy here in Lexington, which is an octave fuzz and a JFet boost. He uses an ehx canyon for a ton of the ambient parts as well. Along with a delay and chorus here and there.

Jared (bass): Squier Jazz bass for C standard, Epiphone Thunderbird bass for A standard. We tracked Jared through a DI, and then reamped him through an old Sunn Sorado head. We also used that head all over the record for guitar overdubs. For some parts Jared would use an old 90s Black Russian Big Muff as well as an EHX POG. I believe we ran him through an ampeg speaker cab, but I can't remember specifically. If you'd really like to know I can find out.

Josh (drums): Josh switches up his rig constantly, but at the time of recording he was using a drum kit with evans drum heads, and a mix of meinl, and Zildjian cymbals. He used Vic Firth sticks as well I'm pretty sure.

With the standard rigs out of the way, for the individual songs some little extra pieces of gear are:

For the song Bubba, we used pretty much only our standard rigs on this song, not really many overdubs. However, the spacey post lead section in the middle, Riley used an MXR Blue Box, an octave fuzz, to really thicken up those leads and add an extra layer to everything.

While it's probably one of the songs that strays most from doom in the traditional sense, much of To Lose a Whale was recorded through that old Sunn Sorado head guitars and bass included, along with the standard rigs of course. Josh also used some bongos on this track.

Mostly standard rigs were used for the bones of The Final Frontier (Dan II), however, we did lots of overdubs with the old Sunn head through an Emperor 4x12 loaded with Ted Webers. For this song I'd say it's also important to note we used exclusively dirt sounds from the amps for crunchy stuff and our Frost Giant Electronics fuzzes for the big fuzzy bits, i.e. most of the song. (laughs) Nothing in between, though. For this one, I put a Korg Ms-20 mini synthesizer with a bit of analog tape echo added over top of the very beginning of the song to thicken it up even more. It was a patch I'd been working on for a while, and I was glad to get to use it. Riley used his canyon pedal lots on this track, as well.

Once we transition into the clean bit right before the super heavy middle section with the same melody, Riley's tone there is his Frost Giant Electronics Soma turned on with the volume on his guitar rolled off, I think it sounds particularly amazing right there. When that riff gets giant and fuzzy over top of the fuzziness there's a Hammond organ droning and following the melody of that riff. When it goes back into the crunchy riff that was taken from the original Dan, we used that old Black Russian Big Muff for guitar overdubs when the whole band kicks in.

We used standard rigs for both Specialman and The Intensity of Frenchness, plus a banjo overdub on the middle section of the latter.

For the final track, Vacation (...don't ever come back), Riley used his standard guitar rig and his Leviathan for pretty much all the dirt. I didn't play guitar on this track and instead just did some droning on the Korg MS-20 mini synthesizer, as well as a Roland Juno-6 synthesizer. There's also a flute.

The Great Forrest Giveaway!

Forrest has some Bandcamp download codes for y'all and I do mean they have dropped the motherlode! Get 'Final Frontier' (2019) por nada while you can (redeem here).

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[ecoamerica]

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