#the thing is it’s for individual reading it’s not even like. an actual english class it’s an elective where you read a book

[arthur-r]

can somebody help me phrase “forgetting the lessons that was tried to be taught to them as children” into something normal

#in the context of assimilation so feel free to change the whole sentence it’s not very good #also i just lost the game sorry everybody #anyway i can’t write. this is a sentence i made yesterday at 12:30 daytime #so i don’t even have late at night excuse i just literally can’t write sentences #also: with the characters race being implicitly acknowledged and them allowed to live a life that doesn’t confined to stereotypes #that one feels easier to fix i just don’t have brainpower #anyway it might be helpful if somebody could just proofread my whole essay. but these are the places i have noticed #(writing an essay about windows and mirrors (basically) in pieces of the heart #really it’s more about universal and specific experiences. so like making a character be mexican for the heck of it. or portraying a message #about race or culture where it’s like specific and important that it’s a mexican character. mexican cause this is chicano literature #the vague idea applies across cultures which is probably clear shdhdf #) so anyway this essay was due sunday night but i wrote most of it yesterday. and now i have to fix it #the thing is it’s for individual reading it’s not even like. an actual english class it’s an elective where you read a book #but it still needs to be vaguely good. so anyway this sentence is the most problem i noticed but just #yeah. struggling. appreciate advice and also lmk if you need anything!! #but also important life update - tumblr banned on school wifi - using cellular currently #and i’m in upper e wing so it’s okay but the lower you go in the school the less service there is #so definitely will be a lot of moments in life now where i have zero access to tumblr or discord #cause discord was banned a few months ago and now tumblr as of like yesterday #but hey i’ll try my best. anyway i gotta go. chemistry times #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[olderthannetfic]

Now I'm wondering how countries like Japan and China teach literacy.

Since kanji / hanzi don't really have that much in the way of phonetic elements, they kinda have to teach them by memorization and I don't think they have many reading comprehension problems over there.

(Although both countries do have supplementary phonetic writing systems in the form of bopomofo and pinyin for China, and the kanas for Japan)

--

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RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

It's a little closer to teaching vocabulary than spelling, but the same kinds of principles apply: You teach the building blocks, like the traditional radicals, which aren't so different from teaching Latin and Greek roots in an English class for English speakers.

And, as a matter of fact, lots of those radicals do predict pronunciation, just not in every single case. They can also be clues to meaning, but again, not absolutely consistently. Many characters have a sound-cueing radical on one side and a meaning-cueing radical on the other. It's just that only some are still useful in the modern day, while others are more like the English word 'plumbing' where knowledge of Roman lead pipes explains why this word comes from the one for lead, but the root probably wouldn't help a kid learn the word in the first place.

One similarity to teaching phonics would be teaching students to tell very complicated and similar characters apart: you want to help a student spot all the little building blocks of the character and then spot the ones that are different, not just glance at the whole character and get a general overall vibe. If you do a whole look-based approach, too many characters are too easy to mistake for one another.

Remembering a bajillion Chinese characters is hard if you're trying to memorize them in a year and not all of elementary school, but I think people who don't read them underestimate how many component parts there are and how approachable they can be if you start by learning fundamentals, not just memorizing a few individual characters as though they have no relation to anything else.

They're actually pretty systematic, just in the way that English spelling is with its overlapping systems and historical artifacts, not in the way that highly regular Spanish spelling is.

Having taken a lot of Japanese classes, I will say that Japanese as a foreign language textbooks often do a piss poor job of this and totally do teach kanji in a sight words-y way... But my Mandarin class started with important foundational concepts that served me well in Japanese later even if I bombed out of Chinese class at the time.

Can you tell how irritated I am by all the foreign language learners who think characters are sooooo hard when, really, it's just their crappy textbook? Haha.

They're moderately hard in the way that learning a full adult spectrum of vocabulary is hard, but people do that for foreign languages all the time. The countries that use characters do tend to make sets that are smaller for certain kinds of applications, same as we have things like simple English wikipedia, but a literate adult will always know lots more, whether it's from their career in engineering or their predilection for historical romance novels.

Uh... anyway, the answer is "Bit by bit in elementary school, just like in any other country".

[earlgraytay]

I keep seeing discourse on my dash about whether or not we should be teaching ~challenging~/emotionally rough books in elementary and middle school, and I think there's a very important point that all of this discourse is eliding.

What counts as "too rough/traumatizing" heavily depends on the kid.

Two kids in the same class, from the same background, at the same developmental and reading level, might have wildly different reactions to a book. To take an example that's less likely to generate insufferable discourse than anything dealing with ~marginalization~:

Say you have two kids in the same class. One kid is a sensitive, sweet soul who loves dogs more than anything in the world. The other kid just lost their dog, is still grieving, and needs some catharsis.

Your class is supposed to read Old Yeller, or some other kids' book about The Death Of A Dog.

For the first kid, that book is likely to mess them up a little. It might seem like brutality for the sake of brutality. They might not fully understand the concept of death yet, or they may not be ready to grapple with the idea that dogs can die. It might be something they need to read, even if it'd mess them up- but it might also just hurt without any real benefit.

For the second kid... whether they're ready to read that book would heavily depend on how they're grieving and whether they're ready to think about a dog dying. It might trigger them and make them feel worse. But it might actually be helpful for them and make them feel less alone. Other kids have had to deal with their dogs dying and have lived through it. It might give them emotional tools they need to get through this.

But unless you know these kids really well and have the chance to tailor how you teach the book to them? You're likely to screw both of them up without any real benefit.

If they have to fill out fifty million worksheets about What The Dog Dying Means In Old Yeller, they're going to have to think about something they're not ready to think about over and over again. They're not likely to learn whatever you're trying to teach them about death or empathy or tragedy- they're just going to remember that English class was about depressing books about dogs dying and remember how much it hurt to get through. And they're going to be put off reading anything you might read in English class, because it's just going to hurt, right?

The one-size-fits-all model of education most schools are being forced to adopt means that we can't mold what kids read around what they need and are ready to hear; we have to make every kid read the same thing, at the same pace, with the same worksheets.

You can't decide, 'hey, this kid might not be ready for this particular book, here's a book that hits some of the same thematic notes but is less graphic'.

You can't take the time to make sure that a student who's reading a book that might be rough for them is okay, give them time to decompress and debrief, or let them process what they're having to deal with. You can't let them take a break from the book after they hit a point that is graphic or triggering. You can't let them sit with their feelings about it.

You can't take the time to make sure that the marginalized students in the class are okay after reading a book about oppression that affected people like them, or take the time to make sure that their non-marginalized classmates who said boneheaded things about the book know why what they said wasn't okay without publically yelling at them.

Hell, you can't even choose books based around what your students would be interested in and want to read. You have to make a lesson plan to teach like 50 students; you don't have time to pick things based around their individual likes and dislikes.

Nope. It's just on to the next book, the next worksheet, the next test.

Teachers are forced to take on classes that are way too big for any one person to manage, teach emotionally hefty books without giving kids time to process what they've learnt, and teach to tests instead of giving kids time to empathize and understand.

The problem is not specific books. The problem is not privileged people's fragility. The problem is not even individual teachers. The problem is a systemic problem with how American schools teach literature.

Until we fix the system? Yeah, plenty of kids are gonna get fucked up from reading Lord of the Flies or Where the Red Fern Grows when they're not ready to tackle it. Because their teachers do not have the time or spoons to gauge whether they're ready, and do not have the luxury of letting their students deal with things at their own pace.

#general malarkey #tumblr malarkey #my fucking industry #or well something adjacent to it #kidlit #teaching #education #i keep getting mad at posts like this because EVERYONE IS WRONG #LITCHRALLY EVERYONE

[caseylicious]

Hello! I love your rottmnt work!! I just finished binge reading them!

Is it alright if I request a rise!Donnie x Shy! Mad Scientist reader?

Like April introduces her “normal” friend and Donnie is shook (and in love) when reader starts talking complex science out of nowhere.

Thank you so much!!

"In The Name of SCIENCE!"

Summary: April introduces her "normal" friend to Donnie. How will he deal with his feelings finding out that the reader is a "Mad Scientist?"

Character: Donnie

Reader: GENDER NEUTRAL (not specified in request.)

Relationship: CRUSH (Not specified in request)

Warnings: THE MOST WHOLESOME PIECE IVE EVER WRITTEN IS ABOUT TO BE SHOWN. TAKE CAUTION...

Words: 2158

A/N: Sir/Miss, I am in LOVE with your request!! It sounds so cute already, and I am so excited to just type this. Thank you for reading my work! You're so sweet.

As always! Please, Enjoy 💐

[ If you have any constructive criticism or corrections for any of my English do let me know! :) ]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

"April, are you really sure...?" You tilted your hooded head to her, with a hushed voice. Your (maybe only) friend, April; placed her attention onto you. She smiled, wrapping her arm around your shoulder. "Yeah! Y/N, don't worry! My boy Donnie is one of the smartest people I know! You'll get along just fine." You nodded hesitantly, not sure of what's to come as you both began to walk out of your school.

A few weeks ago, you became friends with the one addresses herself as, "April O' Neil." You as an individual tend to fall side to more of the "Weird" part of society. Not seeing any interest in cheerleading or Volleyball. You didn't feel right in those "categories." Which made you sort of a "creep" in your high school. And you genuinely didn't blame them. You couldn't imagine yourself wearing tight dresses which expose skin; it was ridiculous! What if you were in a situation in which you had to run away due to an outside threat? What would that unnecessary tight dress do for you? Other than exposing more skin to be harmed, it was an idiot move.

Which was why you chose to be practical. You attempted to share your ideas with others... but they just didn't see your ideas normal. They doubted that you could even reach such goals. They were just... impossible. You proved yourself and them wrong; and you so bad wanted to rant to people about your inventions. But nobody wanted to listen, you were just too weird.

It didn't really affect your mood that much. It's not like you thought badly of yourself. Heavens no, you knew your self worth. You could do things others just couldn't. You enjoyed most of your time alone in school, but sometimes... it just gets lonely.

You felt lonely, and that ate you up immensely. That was until you met April. She asked you about the app you created on your phone, which surprised you. Somebody asking about your creation? Your own baby? You answered shyly and she was amazed. You remembered the situation perfectly due to your "photographic" memory.

"Wow Y/N! That's actually helpful to society!" She leaned over from her chair to look into your phone. It was customized to your aesthetic. She was exactly 5 inches away from you. She was wearing an eyeshadow which contained ingredients which wouldn't harm the planet nor animals, and you could tell she was chewing on a mint for half of the class.

You had to think for a quick second on what to say, You were a genius. Obviously, but you knew your shy aspects would get in the way of a basic fast: "Thank you." You came to a conclusion just nodding your head.

Which... now leads you here. During those weeks of becoming "strangers, acquaintance, to inner circle." She asked you to meet some of her other friends, and it freaked you out a lot. April was one of the only people that seemed to tolerate your hyper fixations and rants about your lover, science. You weren't afraid of her proclaimed "friends." No. You were afraid of embarrassing her in front of her them. You didn't want to be the reason why her reputation decreases because of your weirdness. However, you did want to make her happy by participating, and you did.

You were dressed in a "normal-looking" attire and brushed your hair to the point where it didn't poof up like the many times of experimentation you did. Your hands tinkering with each other, you looked confusedly at the sewer manhole you and April stood in front of. "..Errm, April you understand this is a manhole, yes?" She chuckled, "Y/N! I'm not that dumb y'know? Pfft... This is where my friends live."

You were confused to her logic as her carefree face changed to a firm look. A look of maturity and seriousness, she faced you. "Y/N, you have to promise me whatever you see down there. That you won't freak out nor tell people about them." What was she talking about? You wouldn't freak out- you've done things that freaked out people to a degree where they questioned if you were mentally ill. "April.. you know I've done weird. I don't really see how your friends will freak me out." She looked at you, almost as if she was looking for your soul. Your will to live. "And... you're sure?"

You take a deep breathe, nodding with confirmation. "Yes, I am sure." Her face relaxed as you both ascended down the manhole.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

💜 Donnie

Raph has awoken all his brothers in the lair, due to the text April sent a couple days ago. She was going to introduce them to one of her own friends. Leo himself was excited to show off his skills to another person other than his brothers and April, Raph was excited to meet another person which was friends with April, and Mikey in general was excited to meet you... it was Donnie who was a bit doubtful.

Donnie was an unique individual, it didn't make him less of a person. It was just he saw the world differently. He saw logic while others may see emotions and feelings. He was aware of this and was still learning on how to react to things with a bit more empathy... but he really couldn't due to his low empathy. He decided that he was going to be a respectful person as April gave you a tour around the lair.

"Okay boys, you all know the drill right?" His older brother held some empty pizza boxes, cleaning up. Mikey nodded as he placed away his crayons. "Yep! Oooo!! I just can't wait to meet April's new friend!" A chuckle escaped Leo as he organized each of his Jupiter Jim comics. He glanced towards the turtle which only sat on the bean bag and scrolled on his phone. "Donnie, you plan on cleaning the lair?"

He smirked, "Oh, what you don't see Leo... I came up with a mechanic which would clean the lab for me! So while you three do simple activities like that, I chose to be practical." Leo groaned rolling his eyes, "You didn't plan on making a bot which could do that job for us?" Leo stood up, stretching down. "It could've be.. real practical for like- y'know. us?" Donnie frowned to Leo's poor memory.

"Last time I created an invention that did simple chores for you, each of you decided to tinker with it." He wasn't wrong, though.. he did make the bot be biased and favor him out of the other brothers. And be almost a body guard for him... but we don't talk about that.

Leo frowned, "well. You created the thing to be all biased over you!" Donnie gasped. "Scoff! Well if it weren't for you touching Shelldon, he would've killed me. Replacing me as your "new brother."

"Yeahh, but we saved your life didn't we?" Leo grinned mischievously, leaning over on one of the handle of his blades. "Oh yeahh! We did!" Donnie grumbled to himself, "Yes... you all did. Even so- still your fault." Before the conversation could continue, they all heard Raph shout- "THEY'RE ALMOST HERE!" And they all, except Donnie scrambled to get everybody tidied up.

- - - - - - - - - -

April's voice echoed down the hole, "We're almost there Y/N!" You nodded as you stepped down each step. Your gloves kept you from slipping, though you wondered how many times April had to step down the manhole to not fall down. You tried imagining what people April chose to hang out with. They probably were cool...

You were snapped out of your imagination when your foot reached a flat surface. You got off the ladder with April and you could see an orange-yellowish light. You hesitated for a second. This was it, the moment that every "lonely" person had to face. Meeting with people that you don't even know about for the first time ever. April was a couple steps ahead of you. "C'mon Y/N! They're right here!" You quickly nodded, running over. And that's when you came face-to-face with something you've never seen before.

Were they... turtles? Mutant? Your shoulders were tense as you stared at each one of them. A common response for.. most people. "Y/N, this is Raph..." She directed to the large red turtle. He waved towards you with a toothy grin. "Nice meeting ya!" You nodded shyly. "This is Leo..." The blue bandana-turtle brought out his hand towards you. "Nice meeting one of Aprils' friends." You nodded again shyly, shaking his hand. "This is-" Mikey jumped towards you, making you step back a couple steps. "Michelangelo! But call me Mikey!" His grin was so bright that you had to blink a couple times to see again. "And finally, this is..."

Your eyes climbed up to meet with the purple turtles'. "Greetings, I am Donatello. But please refer me as Donnie." He stood in a way that somehow made you relax. There was something about him you just didn't know, but relate too. Quickly getting yourself out of your thoughts, you introduced yourself. "H- hello... I am Y/N L/N... It's nice meeting all of you." Your voice squeaked a little and you covered your mouth embarrassed. Donnie assumed that you didn't understand science to your "regular" looking attire. Genuinely, he assumes everybody around him doesn't understand science and engineering the way he does.

After a few awkward stares, April chose to give you a tour. You found out that Leo's room was decorated in merchandise of Jupiter Jim, a show which almost each of the brothers cherished. You also noticed that his room seemed to be one of the "best" ones you've seen in a sewer. But let's be honest, have you ever gone into a sewer with a actual rooms? You've done a decent job at staying "normal" around them all. You didn't suddenly say a comment on their interests nor did you suddenly say random facts. Finally, you came upon Donnie's lab. Before you and April could even enter, The taller purple turtle had to set some ground rules.

"Do not attempt to touch anything. Do not try stealing any of my equipment, because I will know- and do not-" April sighed, "Yeah, yeah D. We get it!" You felt April nudge you a bit. She seemed to "know" that you'd get along with him immediately. He was the first familiar name he heard when you were walking with her.

The doors opened, as smoke exited the room. A dramatic entrance; exquisite. April walked in with Donnie. You walked in last hearing a loud slam of the lab doors. You breathed in some of the smoke, causing you to cough all of it out. When you cleaned out your lungs you were surprised to see inventions that you didn't know someone could make. You made an audible gasp walking towards the metal. Donnie stepped forwards quickly. "Hey- what did I just say-"

You probably spoke too soon, because your "norm" bubble all of sudden popped. You just knew so much about the material, how could you not share?

"Is this titanium?! Where did you get it? Oh my goodness- did you create it? No- no.. You couldn't have you'd need-"

"ilmenite, leucoxene, and rutile!" He said the words you were about to say. The turtle you noted as distant seemed to know what you were talking about. "P- precisely! You do know grabbing yourself some uranium could help create some radioactive equipment, right?" He nodded to your claim, because you were precisely correct! April smirked, watching you both infodump one another on the science and engineering behind his inventions.

"The titanium in your shell can get damaged in high-temperature situations you know that right? Exactly above 400 degrees Celsius... and- what tools did you use to sand it? I've tried a normal sanding board, but that didn't work!" "Ah- well, I used a technique of a sanding board and some Aluminum Oxide. They both help remove the rough surface." You grinned widely, explaining to him on your projects. How you were going to attempt to create a network of wires that would help society in a way, that you didn't know yet. But would figure out along the way. He ranted to you about his experiments and successful and failed projects. You bounced ideas on each other. You both didn't pay attention to April suddenly leaving the room to chat with the others.

"Well.. you could've placed a firewall system on Shelldon." You twirled your hair finally feeling like yourself.

He sighed, "You're right... I should've placed one even while he was charging."

He never expected someone like yourself to know all of this information. Your knowledge just made his heart just act a bit funny. Funny enough, just for him to fall in love with you.

#morilicious #rottmnt #rottmnt 2018 #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt donnie x reader #rise donnie

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

Lately, I’ve been thinking about Leon, Ada, and Claire. Especially on their relationships because I think they’re pretty interrelating so here’s another analysis made by yours truly <3

TW: mentions of mental illnesses, MY OPINION! + observations. This is strictly based on my knowledge. I’m majoring in English- doesn’t mean I’m 100% correct, it just means I’m pointing out some things that I thought were pretty cool. Take this with a grain of salt.

So I actually propose that we bring the color theory into play, mainly between Leon, Claire, and Ada.

In RE2R and in Infinite Darkness (death island too but I’ve yet to watch it), Leon is portrayed as blue. (His RPD uniform and his suit/jacket) back in my English class (film vs book) we talked about the different types of people and how the author/creator purposefully assigns a character a specific color.

By majority belief, the color blue represents sadness and often times calmness as well. However, I have a different view on why CAPCOM seems to love Leon in winter colors (blue/green/purple)

Leon is the definition of the Blue Character Theory- these types of characters are compassionate, loyal, confident, and can manage their emotions (keep it cool in other words) but sometimes these characters are prone to become over emotional (depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, etc.) and I actually wrote a small paragraph on Leon in infinite darkness about this because I found it so interesting that Leon- a cool and reserved guy, has these complicated emotions welled up inside him and one of the only ways we can tell is by the color of his representation. (Think of Euphoria and how colors really affected the way the characters act, especially Maddy and Cassie and how different they are.)

I’m also going to be hella bold and say that his eyes are a CLEAR representation on his character by color analysis. His eyes are blue, not only because he’s a white man- but because the “eyes are the windows to the soul” thing really does help us understand him better. They clearly did this on purpose to let the viewer catch a glimpse at Leon’s raw personality. His eyes are very expressive if you really REALLY analyze them.

And when you bring someone who is represented by the color red (Claire and Ada) there’s already an established connection between the two. Although Claire and Ada are way too different in personalities, I like to believe that they both have at least the same level of ambition, stubbornness and leadership. Red characters are known to lead or take matters into their own hands when the world is against them. If no one is going to help them then they’ll do it themselves.

In ID, Claire did her own investigation. She took charge and decided to that if no one would help her, including Leon, then she’ll just do whatever she can with the power she has. Ada is similar in that aspect. Ada has a way of getting things done her way, just like Claire. She uses the art of manipulation to make sure her plans are fulfilled, even if it means at the cost of others. She’s ambitious and goal-driven, much like Claire.

CAPCOM represents the two women in explicitly red or at least with red items (hair, dress, shoes, etc.) it makes me believe that they know what they’re doing when it comes to giving characters their own individuality.

Now, we know that blue and red are complementary colors based on the color wheel.

But we also know that Leon and Ada don’t really have a healthy relationship (I’ll get to this in another post near the future once I’ve got evidence) which is contrasting to Leon and Claire’s relationship. Which prompted the question: Why?

I mean, yeah Claire is Chris’s sister and by affiliation Leon enjoys her company. But it is also clear that the two of them worked very well back in RE2R (the fence scene) their chemistry and tension was high but when he’s with Ada, it seems different.

It is no doubt that Leon had/has (? I’m just as confused as bro tbh) a crush on Ada. I read somewhere from the notes on Leon that he was actually glad to have seen Ada in RE4R (not too sure for RE4OG since almost everything is about the remake)

CAPCOM purposefully follows the Red Oni/Blue Oni trope (a Japanese folk tale, shout-out to my professor for putting me on that) but what why are there two red ones and one blue one? Is CAPCOM keeping their choices open for Leon’s potential love life? I can’t say for sure what’ll happen or what everything means because this is something I over analyzed.

Remember, I’m only an English major student, I still believe my observations are pretty vague or at least a little bit underdeveloped. Hopefully sometime near the future I can make better analysis 🙏🏼

Also, tysm for all the amazing comments and reblogs 🥹🙏🏼 idk how to reply to reblogs but I really do appreciate the fact that you guys like my fics. I promise I have more to write (I have a list in my notes app lmao)

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy #resident evil #id leon kennedy #re4 leon #leon #leon kennedy headcanons #di leon #claire redfield #resident evil 4 #resident evil 2 #resident evil claire #ada wong #resident evil ada wong #re4 ada #re4 remake #re2 remake

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

*gets you talking about education* so in what way is education Fucked Up that the public doesn't get right?

i’ve been thinking about this ask for months trying to come up with an answer that is not just me complaining incoherently for 3000000 words and while i could go a lot of places with this, the one i personally think the most about is that the public mostly thinks that teachers have received training on the best ways to teach things, and they haven’t. source: my bullshit ass master’s degree in general and special education, which taught me in particular so little about any actual disabilities that the fact that i could legally teach a special ed class after receiving it is like, horrifying to me. my degree was a lot of talking about feelings and diversity and naming ideas of things you could potentially do in the classroom, and no actual instruction in what we know about the best way to teach particular subjects or even about how to evaluate potentially relevant resources. one time we read an article that said kids with ADHD do best in traditional classroom set-ups with desks in rows and no “centers” where kids have to move around, and in my small group devoted to designing a classroom for kids with ADHD a classmate of mine was like, “i didn’t do the reading but what about [the opposite of what the reading said]?” and in ed school disagreeing with someone is basically akin to setting them on fire physically so i didn’t say anything and then the professor - you know, the one who assigned this reading - was just like, “great! :)” zero accountability for learning any content at basically any point in my degree. almost zero actual content taught. like it’s so bad. the public tends to view teachers as either highly trained professionals or lazy sociopaths who don’t care but my experience is that the vast majority of teachers in public and private schools alike are hard-working and caring people doing their best with a difficult task they have been given no meaningful high quality training for - but unfortunately since they do have master’s degrees they do tend to think they have a certain degree of expertise.

in particular the public assumes that elementary school teachers have been themselves taught how to teach kids how to read, and not only have they not been taught how to teach kids how to read, they have often been taught ideas about reading that stand in total contradiction to our best scientifically derived hypotheses about how children learn how to read. for the millionth time i recommend checking out the podcast (with high quality transcripts available) sold a story. emily hanford’s reporting has taught me more about reading than the degree i am still paying for ever did and i have considered seeking therapy to process how angry i am about that.

anyway, i’m posting this now because i saw another fucking post that was like “actually they do teach all the skills you want them to teach, it’s called high school english class” which makes me insane because test prep tutoring high school kids has really hammered home that teachers in rich private schools reliably fail to pick up on the fact that a lot of teenagers struggle with any degree of textual complexity to a degree that in any text from the nineteenth century even individual sentences pose problems. the most expensive high schools in the country are graduating kids who can’t independently parse five paragraphs of an abraham lincoln speech and their faculty members don’t even know it. but sure english teachers are routinely and successfully teaching critical thinking if only those damn 15 year olds weren’t too fucking lazy to pay attention. “lol.”

#askbox

[headspace-hotel]

Your posts about literary poetry are so strange to me, haha, because I also read a lot a lot of "literary" poetry and... it DOES save my life? A lot? Like that "Pigs" poem, I actually shared it with my bookish friends, because yes, the fleshy meat metaphors are overdone imo, but it was also a really vivid portrait of the way that growing up in a low-income rural area ties into these intrusive, distorted thoughts about self-worth that keep re-occuring throughout the poem. Carter isn't a (1)

favorite poet of mine by any means but also I think it's kind of unfair to reduce him to just disconnected images and cynicism. Some of the most popular poets in literary magazines today, Rupi Kaur aside, which I DO think is objectively bad poetry, are slam poets, and there's an urgency and joy and spokenness to their work that is just completely unseen in English poetry before rap re-infused the poetry scene. Personally I'm so so glad we've moved from the discrete single beautiful (2)

images of 19th century poetry that really do say nothing about social or interpersonal relation, and if you want to hear actual crushing nihilism, that's what the modernists are for. And I promise you both of those genres still exist and get published even on big poetry aggregators like Poetry Daily. It's okay not to like it and I know you've said before that you wish more poetry was rhymed and metered, but that doesn't mean poetry that isn't to your taste is bad? (3/4)

(PS sorry for being on anon I'm on a friend's phone but I don't want you to think this is anon hate where I don't want to own up to my identity, I'm wherewords) (4/4)

We are probably just going to have to agree to disagree on this one but also, I don't dislike individual poems quite as much as I dislike the broad trends

I believe I have read way more literary poems than is recommended, good, normal, or healthy, and there's a post in my poetry tag somewhere that breaks down what I hate most about literary poems in better depth (which I will probably reblog again), but I went through this evolution of my thoughts on it:

When I was taking my "intermediate" poetry class, I was genuinely intrigued and delighted by the range of things you could do with words that I was seeing in all the poems we were reading, and a lot of poems truly felt neat and impactful, and I liked interpreting them and learning to "see" meaning in them.

And then when I was taking my "advanced" poetry class, I started getting more and more critical, and I started to hate what reading these poems was doing to my own writing style.

And then a year later I read like every literary magazine my college library had because...okay long story but I was spending hours every day holed up in the library and that experience turned my existing skepticism into outright disdain

Because listen...there is an initial shimmer to the way unexpected combinations of words and images, like "lemon-lime grieving" or "cumulonimbus cancer" or "ontological algae" plink around in your brain, but after seeing Unexpected Combinations of words thrown together a million times, I started to think most of the meaning I read in literary poems was a kind of pareidolia.

So many poems have no intelligible complete thoughts in them, no consistent entities that are referred to more than once, no narrative, no images that persist longer than the phrases they are in

And it's not bad for art to be open to interpretation, but I had to write detailed journal entries about poems from Poetry Daily for my last class and a lot of this poetry just falls apart like a sandcastle the more you try to analyze it, because there is ultimately nothing there.

Like I said, I've said it all before more articulately. There is a lot more to my dislike of literary poetry. But one thing that really, really put the nail in the coffin for me was finding out that InferKit (a neural network you can feed text for it to complete) could consistently generate "poems" that were indistinguishable from published works by people with PhDs, that could be interpreted and analyzed the same way.

And to an extent I love the role of randomness in art! I think it's cool that humans see patterns in things and assemble narratives! I think it's an unavoidable part of art, and a lot of the "aliveness" of art lies in that indeterminacy!

But it feels like some sort of scam that so many artists with PhDs and MFAs are getting paid to write stuff that barely requires a human writer because the reader is doing so much of the work of interpretation. I'm sick and tired of seeing shapes! I'm not reading tea leaves! Communicate something dammit!

There is also the voyeuristic obsession with the trauma of minorities, the cruelty this is to so many poets that they're expected to constantly write about things that hurt them, the indistinguishable nature of so many writing styles, and the large number of poems that are mostly riding on getting a gross-out reaction from the reader, but I've explained all that in other posts

I don't know what to say. Like, all these poets are being read and circulated in environments where there's a pre-loaded expectation of interpretation and of taking the poet seriously. I'm going to call it crowd-sourced pareidolia because...yeah, I believe that's what it is sometimes. And if a poem has nothing to say to the version of me with no college education, the version of me that is skeptical, or the version of me that wants to hear a real voice that has something compelling them, I don't like it.

#poetry #literary poetry #poems

[lprww]

╰┈➤ Project: Sights

— Sypnosis; ✎ Niki, a student at decelis academy, has a project to fulfil which consists of doing a collage with the photos he takes in the following week. The subject; sights he finds appealing and beautiful. What he didn’t know was that you were going to be apart of them.

— Pairing; Student N. Riki x Student Fem!reader

— Genre/warnings; Fluff, one sided crush, cursing, au, This story is mostly Riki’s pov.

— W.C.; 2k

— A/N; This is my first tumblr ff! Not going to lie it isn't my best, but I hope it's still readable TT. English is not my first language and I apologize if I did make any mistakes (it isn't proofread)! Anyways, enjoy reading ^^

It was now lunchtime, so I sat down in the cafeteria along with the rest of my friend group just like the usual. They were all chatting while I had my mind on something else while eating.

"what's on your mind Riki?" asked Heeseung.

I got back to reality as I felt a nudge from Sunoo.

"Oh, uhm it's nothing."

"Okay..." he eyed me suspiciously "anyways, what was I saying? Ah right, so..."

I returned to eating my food and zoning out at the thought of the girl.

Flashbacks (a few days earlier)

It was the last class of the day and I was sitting down with my bag occupying the place next to me in the back of the class. “I will now assign you a project to complete by next week.” said Mr. Hwang as he wrote in depth information on the chalkboard. “All of you, individually, will have to do a collage with multiple photos that you will take in the span of a week. It can be anything, so you all should get creative and find some nice looking subjects.”

My eyes sparkled at the thought of finally being able to showcase my skills in photography. I looked out the window while thinking of what I could take pictures of.

The bell rang and I got up walking towards the exit of the classroom. It was the end of the day, so I took my things and decided to go to the local park near my place.

While checking my phone, I took notice that this weekend was Mother's day and I decided to get something for my mom in advance which resulted in me going to the flower shop instead, picking out a bouquet, and taking pictures of the flowers for the school project.

Then you walked in.

The sound of the door opening farther away from where I was picked my interest and made me slightly turn my head around as a reflex to take a glimpse of the new customer.

You walked in gracefully with your hair plopping down your shoulders. They were a dark shade of red which matched very well your necklace that adorned your neck wonderfully. For some people you might've looked intimidating, but as soon as you entered the shop, the cashier instantly looked at you with a smile on their face. Then, you both engaged in a conversation which made you laugh here and there. I suppose you failed to notice how long I was looking at you, but how could I not when you were looking so magnificent?

'Hold up... I sound so down bad right now... I don't even know her...' I thought as I mentally slapped myself and looked back at the roses before me to snap a few pictures.

I got up from the crouching position I was in, and decided to head out the store to start organizing my collage at home. Of course not forgetting to pay for the bouquet. and staring at you quietly

+++

I arrived home with the flowers behind my back as I walked towards the kitchen to find my mom cooking food for diner. I tapped her shoulder and handed it to her which she thanked me for. I then went up the stairs to my room and let myself fall onto my bed and daydream of you while wiggling from side to side like a lost cause.

'Am I actually falling in love at first sight like in those kdramas?? No way.'

+++

I woke up to my alarm going off. I got ready to go to school and headed out.

I walked through the main doors of the building and then to my locker where I found Jungwon, one of my friends, waiting for me.

"Yah Riki, what's up?" he asked finding my unusual calm self odd.

"Nothing..." I replied confused by my own feelings.

Jungwon looked at me then closed his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah right... What is it now be honest."

My eyes shifted to his and quickly back to my things.

"I went to the flower shop close to my place yesterday..." I started.

"...And??"

"I saw this girl... I have no idea who she was though..." I continued on talking about the situation of yersterday for a bit and Jungwon just kept looking at me and nodding till realization hit him.

"Can you describe her physical appearances? I might have an idea on who you're talking about... " said the shorter friend.

"Uh... she has dark red hair that are quite long I guess? She also wore a red necklace that matched her hair..." I said confused on why my friend asked me what she looked like.

'Is he trying to tell me he used to like her or something...' I mentally told myself as I subconsciously stared blankly at the ground.

"Yep I know who that is... Actually-" Won said till I shushed him with my hand covering his mouth.

"No don't tell me you like her? Right?" I nervously said while glaring at him.

The guy chuckled and removed my hand from his mouth before speaking.

"No no. I don't like her that way don't worry. You're talking about y/n that popular girl." He stated as I looked away due to my false assumption.

"Popular girl?" I questioned putting back my attention to my friend.

"Yah, you really are clueless huh?" he said jokingly.

"Well sorry for not knowing everyone in school." I said as I rolled my eyes.

Jungwon continued to look at me with a wide smile on his face until I finally looked back at him puzzled.

"Why are you looking at me like that hyung…?"

"Oh Riki... Dear Riki..." he started, inching his face closer to mine.

He closed his eyes giggling then gave me a look of amusement.

"I think you might've fallen in love for the first time" he said smirking.

I gave him a disapproval look which made his smirk grow even more.

“Yep, you’ve definitely fell in love!” He confirmed, jumping around saying it out loud.

The students eyes were on us as I went forward grabbing Jungwon and shushing him.

“STOP. I don’t like her!” I said with a stern look.

“Riki, you do know that you’re currently proving my point right?”

Confused, I took his arm and brought him away from the crowd of people that were around us whispering to eachother.

‘Did I hear that right?’ ‘Riki likes y/n… poor him’ ‘I think he doesn’t know that y/n isn’t interested in dating for now…’ whispered the students to eachother. Fortunately, the two guys were already far away.

“What are you talking about??”

Jungwon eye smiled me and said;

“You’re in denial Riki”

+++

For the next few days, I tried concentrating on the project to finish it before the deadline. However, my mind kept thinking of other things that were irrelevant. You for example. I started to truly consider my friend’s word and seeing you again confused me even more proved Jungwon’s point.

Flashback

As I was walking in the corridor with my music blasting in my ears, I heard a familiar laugh that caught my attention yet again. It was yours. You were with your friends talking about who knows what. At that moment though, your eyes met mine. You smiled at me tenderly while I returned it and quickly spun around embarrassed.

Present

‘Was Jungwon right?’ I kept asking myself. ‘What should I do…’

+++

The time to turn in our projects came along with an announcement from Mr. Hwang.

“The best collage will be exposed on the cork board outside this class for the students to see by tomorrow.”

I kept mentally telling myself that it’d be nice to see mine there while I, like my usual daily routine, walked home.

+++

The next day, I found Jungwon at my locker yet again and decided to turn around and walk in the opposite direction to avoid getting bugged about my ‘first love’.

As I did so, my friend instantly ran up to me and announced something unexpected.

“YAH NISHIMURA RIKI! NICE WORK THAT COLLAGE IS AMAZING!!” He said which which made me gasp.

“Wait… I got chosen??” I questioned as I felt happiness take over me.

“YEP! You should definitely go check it”

I smiled, curious of what it looks like and what others think about it.

Speeding through the groups of students that occupied the hallway, I finally arrived at the board to see my project on it. A sigh of relief escaped my lips before quickly changing to a wide smile as I small jumped around, cheering myself.

“Excuse me?” Said a girl behind me.

“Yes? Do you need something?” I replied not turning around.

“Are you the person that made that?” She asked.

I looked behind me with a smile plastered on my face and my eyes closed and affirmed that it was infact mine.

“Ooh! It’s very beautiful, I love flowers!” Said the student. “I’m y/n!”

“I’m Riki, nice to meet yo-” I chocked on my saliva as I opened my eyes and saw you.

‘Holy shit-’ was the only thing that came to my mind before Jungwon grabbed my arm and smiled at the girl infront of us.

“Hi y/n!” He said smiling warmly.

She smiled back.

“Jungwon, hello!”

I side eyed him so he could notice. Which he did, but that was his plan. To make me jealous and accept my feelings. And of course it didn’t work

It did

“Hey y/n we’ll be back alright, I have to ask something to Won real quick.”

She nodded

“Okay, take your time!”

We left and went a bit further away then I stopped in my track.

“Jungwon, no.” I said furrowing my brows.

He laughed and showed his dimples.

“Just accept your feelings Niki! It’s not that hard”

“Mhm… yeah whatever” I mumbled.

“Huh? What’d you say?”

“Okay… maybe I DO have feelings for y/n.”

I looked down as I could feel myself heating up.

“WOOO finally!!” He said taking me in a side hug. “See? Wasn’t so hard, yeah?”

“If you say so…”

+++

‘I tried multiple times to get closer to you but I have a feeling that you don’t think the same way of me. We did get closer but I feel like what I feel towards you only worsen considering that you probably won’t feel the same way if I do end up telling you the truth. Maybe this is only a crush and I’ll eventually fall out of love. We’ll have to wait and see. If we should be together, I believe fate will make us meet again one day.’

This was all I wrote before giving up on you, or at least for now, since I had to move back to Japan due to the worsening health of my grandma.

Time skip 5 years later

Finally back in the city of Seoul, I entered my new work place and went to the boss's office to have a talk with him before officially being a worker here. In Japan, I had continued my passion for photography and became even better which influenced my career path decision. I opened the door after knocking to see a man standing up Infront of a desk and another woman who was facing the opposite direction. The head of the company then looked at me and smiled.

"He's here" he said.

"Welcome new worker!" said the woman.

As I switched from looking at the boss to the other female worker, my mouth went agape and so did the woman's.

"Oh! You're Riki right? From school" she questioned still smiling warmly.

'She remembers me…' I mentally told myself.

"Ah! Yes that's me, y/n right?" I replied trying to sound as natural as possible.

"Yep! Glad to see you again" she said.

"Same goes to you"

Looks like we’re back to square one huh? I guess fate really do exists…

THE END

—> Bookshelf!!

TAGLIST <3;

@chaewon-slays

#enhypen #enha niki #nishimura riki #fanfic #niki fluff #enha x reader #enha fanfic #enha au #riki fluff #riki x y/n #niki x reader #enhypen fluff #riki x you #enha imagines

[amarriageoftrueminds]

So I wound up in the antisteggy tag rabbithole and read some of your meta (excellent use of examples, btw!) and found it odd that CAtFA!Steve is so dismissive of Peggy compared to how he is towards all the men in the film, because he IS pretty respectful of Natasha in later films. He disagrees with her like he does anyone else sometimes, but he respects her skills, experience, knowledge, etc.

So it felt off to think 1940's!Steve is sexist when 2010's!Steve isn't, since they're the same Steve just a few weeks or months apart.

I've decided to headcanon he's actually dismissive of Peggy not because of sexism, but because he's canonicly the son of Irish immigrants who would've had Opinions on posh upper class Brits exactly like Peggy.

Hey thanks Anon, glad to hear someone's getting some reading out of them, I know they're pretty whoppin' big! 😅

(Not intentional, it's just that I keep thinking of new things to add over time until they become ginormous.)

.

My feeling about CATFA-Steve vs Later-Steve, re: sexism, is that-

and as a Celt it pains me to say this

-he wouldn't judge an English person pre-emptively just by their Nationality.

(In the same way he didn't hear Erskine's German accent and jump to conclusions, and doesn't appear to have a problem with posh Monty, or Morita, for example.)

In my hc he'd be dismissive of her:

A) because she keeps acting as if she has the job title, authority, experience, and right to tell him what to do when she just doesn't,

B) he judges the person as an individual not a demographic. And she personally has done so much horrible bullying in front of / to him, which he wouldn't find charming in a man.

C) she keeps being wrong about everything.

So he's not going to hold her input in high esteem.

And he's certainly not going to give her a free pass to be a horrible person and fuck up all the time, just because she's a rich woman and it's the 1940s. (If he doesn't do it for Tony, he's not going to do it for her).

Her combined class and nationality would be a black mark against her, certainly, but even then my hc is Steve would wait and see before he decides that- yeah, her class privilege and nationality have corrupted her, specifically.

But his dismissal would still be grounded in her individual personality, not her class/nationality/gender etc. as if those automatically = evil.

(And we just have to ignore that creepy SheHulk shit Feige and M&M said about 1940s Steve abusing his USO fame to bag chicks. They appear to have got him confused with Howard Stark. 🤮 )

.

(But yh Doylist reasons for his apparent dismissal of Peggy is sexist writing and boneheaded dudebro writers who think, for example, that negs are just innocent slips of the tongue by the inexperienced, rather than predatory attempts to harm the opposite sex's self esteem.

Plus:

1) no other women are allowed to be in the movie because Peggy's manufactured Specialness is too fragile for other women to be worth risking screentime on, so Steve's treatment of The Only Woman Allowed is made to stand in for his treatment of All The Women, which isn't necessarily the case.

2) Peggy is just there to recite exposition while failing the Sexy Lamp Test, so what she's saying is actually genuinely not worth Steve listening to anyway, and he can't listen because that would make her, y'know, actually have been written as important. 🙄 )

.

Further evidence for this take on Steve's politics, IMO:

Steve wakes up in 2012 and is greeted by a pretty woman (originally supposed to be Natasha!)

And he doesn't go easy on her just because she's a woman.

He also doesn't automatically trust her just because she's a woman acting all nice (which would've dovetailed nicely with that friction he had with Nat in CATWS).

He isn't distracted from his job by her thinly-veiled honeypotting *coughbecausehe'sgaycough* and he calls her bullshit out straight away. Exactly like he would to a man.

That's the opposite of misogyny; he has women neither up on a pedestal nor down in the gutter, as it were. He can see them with clear eyes.

He's also an equal-opportunity comforter -- when someone's angsting alone, he'll go comfort them and do the Concerned Dad lean in their doorway, regardless of gender (Tony, Nat, Wanda, and Bucky all come in for the same treatment. It's even hinted Steve learned this habit from Bucky.)

.

Sidenote: A Thing I've noticed...

I have no solid evidence to support this, it's just a hunch, but I think Steve's un-sexism later on is mostly down to Cevans' performance choices?

The fact that like 50% of his deference to Natasha is in non-verbal beats, and those little nv-beats have tended to be Cevans' own ideas in other examples in the past, to me suggests they weren't in the script.

Which in turn suggests Cevans and Scarjo just decided between themselves to make Nat more relevant / more respected by Steve than the scripts actually do. 😕

#mcu critical #long post #antipeggy #antisteggy #steve meta #p*ggy meta #steggy is hydra trash party #catfa meta #hey nonny #toAyourQ #meta #mcu meta #steve rogers #mcu #sexism #dat's me #yet each man queues the thing he loves #irish steve #my meta

[v3nusxsky]

Nightmares

—————————————————————————

Tw— mentions of past sexual abuse Language?

Prompt~ reader who teaches English and Larissa have only recently made there relationship official to the rest of Nevermore.  Reader has issues sleeping.comfort Larissa

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had not hand an uninterrupted night of sleep for weeks. At first you could hide the tiredness with a bit of makeup and a coffee. But slowly and surly it was taking it'a toll on your body. The dark circles that seemed to have permanently taken up residence underneath your eyes were harder to hide. People were starting to notice how irritable you were at the slightest things. As a teacher you were known to be quite calm and relaxed yet today especially every little thing caused a reaction that you most definitely were not proud of.

You'd snapped at a newer member of Nevermore for scraping his chair on the floor when getting yo to sharpen his pencil. In another class a girl was coughing and it just got on your last nerve.  Everything seemed to be magnified by a 1000 these days. Just like the headache that was currently wrecking havoc in your temples. Eyes burning as you attempted to go over the lesson plans for your next class. The 3rd years consisted of a few well known interesting individuals. One of those were the raven hair pigtailed up start that had been causing your girlfriend, no end of grief these days. The same grief that had you hardly seeing the goddess that was the principle of Nevermore. You're relationship was no secret, you shared quarters with Larissa yet still you hardly saw her. You went to bed before her and when you woke she was gone. It seemed to be a pattern that was inevitable and not likely to cease anytime soon.  Although that meant your nightmares were a lot easier to hide from the other women due to her having such a hectic schedule.

The bed always felt so much cooler without your own personal hot water bottle. Oh how you longed to just fall asleep safely cocooned in your loves slender arms. Laying curled up on your left side you stole a quick glance at the bright red numbers reading 23:00 hours. Exhaustion soon overcome your body like a cloud of darkness.

Chest heaving, you blinked rapidly trying to place which version of hell you had been transported too tonight. The persistent thundering knocks on the door was what made you realise. It was her. Back to a time where you knew no difference. Back before Larissa. You could feel your heart rate picking up even more as if that was actually possible without causing a heart attack. Only when the door barged open did you full understand what you'd be dealing with. The ranting of the other women sounded all muffled as the fear washed over you in tidal waves. If possible it seemed to be worse than when the actual event happened. At least then you didn't know the fresh hell that would be unleashed in this room. It wasn't long before the nightmare was reaching its climax.

Shockwaves of pain. You could feel it radiating through every bone,muscle, tissue and cell of your body. You'd said no. You knew that. But you knew it was pointless. She'd take what she wanted no matter what. She owned you. Controlled every fibre of your being. Why would she care if you consented. To her you were hers, to use, to abuse, to do whatever she damn well pleased. Tears flowing freely down your cheeks breathes struggling to come out steadily as she took what she wanted. Not only was it not something you wanted you couldn't escape. To her your prey. Tied up being used and abused and tonight she even had a knife to your throat. One simple threat was sneered at you rendering you motionless and deadly silent. "Move or make any sound and I'll cut you. There's no pain quite like this in the world being forced into something you clearly don't want to do. It wouldn't be the first time or the last this would occur. A sob wretched it's way through your body only angering the forceful attacker above you causing her to bring her knife down and create a vertical gash on your wrist. Resulting in a blood curling scream.

Bolting upright you could defeat the tear stained tracks down your cheeks, the sound of the blood curling scream your body had just released seemed to be echoing through the darkened room. You're breathing was rapid and messy. The steady pattern it should have had was gone. The tale tale signs of your panic attacks were running havoc all throughout your exhausted body. Although you know you should try to sit up right you couldn't help but bring your knees to your chest. Head resting atop your knees eye's screwed shut, you tried to quiet the uncontrollable sobs as to not waking the women that must have joined you at some point during that shit show of a nightmare.

Too far gone into panic mode you don't register the click of the lamp switch, the room bathing in a soft yellow glow. You don't register your girlfriend's face going from sleepy to concern in a matter of seconds as she blinks the sleep from her eyes. Only wanting to help she reaches out to touch your shoulder only to flinch back like she was burned with your response.

"Don't fucking touch me!" More uncontrollable sobs worked their way through you. "I said no! Get off me! Get off-get off- get off me! You're hurting me... please stop... it hurts!" Full blown hysteria was not something Larissa had to deal with in your relationship but the guilt overwhelmed her. She only wanted to help and she unintentionally made it worse. You were quite clearly in pain. What could she do when you're being tortured by your own mind?

"Y/n? Darling? It's Larissa honey your safe" she whispered unsure if you could here her as she moved to sit in your direct view. Hands resting on top of her thighs so you could see them. "Honey? It's okay. I'm here. No one is going to touch you I promise. It's just your Rissa. You're safe. You're okay." All Larissa could do was repeat the mantra hoping to break through the attack.

"R-ri- ss-a ?"you gasped out sucking in desperate breaths. Your attack seeming to have reached its peak but coming down that mountain would be no easier than the climb up.

"That's right darling, your Rissa. You're okay. You're safe with me. My love can I touch you?" She outstretched her arms just slightly to indicate that she just wanted to hold you. You nearly knocked her backwards with the force you went barrelling into her arms with. Strangled sobs still escaping your lips seemingly increasing in volume, your body shaking uncontrollably as you clutched onto your girlfriend like she was the last life raft in the middle of the ocean.

"Oh my darling girl. I'm here. Focus on my heart beat okay my love? Try to breathe with it." She watched you as you attempted to take some shaky breaths in the rhythm of her heart beating. A soft gentle touch up and down your spine. Nose buried into her neck, you started to feel your breathing return to a slightly more human level.

"Good job little one. Such a good girl. You're okay honey. I have you. I won't leave you okay?" Was what she had breathed into your ear, rocking you slightly as you both waited for your breathing to become fully regular.

Pulling back slightly, you peaked up through your lashes in an attempt to reassure yourself that she was really here. Only to realise you'd been spotted which only spurred you to go back into hiding. For comfort or what it embossment over your breakdown?

"Little one, why are you hiding from me? I promise you I'm here your safe and I'm most definitely real." It was as if the shape shifter possessed mind reading abilities as the latter of her statement was whispered so softly into the night you hardly caught it.

It wasn't long after that which had you curled up in the arms of the women who quite literally owned every piece of your shattered heart. Although you knew the older women had no idea what had caused such a strong reaction from you, you were relieved she had not tried to force answers from you. Maybe that's what caused you to revel what you'd seen.

"It was her. Again. She god Rissa she well she hurt me. Rissa I said no. She didn't listen. I she said she owns me and I - I don't want to be hers. I want to be yours. Only yours." Absentmindedly tracing the scar she had left on your otherwise perfect ivory skin. "I'm sorry for waking you. Normally they aren't as vivid and I can deal with them. Are you upset with me? I can sleep else where till regain control again if you wish? I don't want to anger you." The anxiety of the situation causing your voice to tremble and a whimper to escape you. God how pathetic if she wasn't going to kick you out of bed, she sure as hell would now.

Smooth pads of her thumbs wiped the stray tears still falling as she encouraged you to look into her eyes. Being met with only love and concern you could feel your body relax ever so slightly. "My little one, I don't want you to go anywhere else I promise. I'm not angry with you my love. Don't worry about waking me either I'd stay up all night and hold you if it meant you never felt pain like that ever again." She paused briefly trying to phrase the next part of her speech correctly. For a principle who dealt with public speaking more often than most, this was extremely difficult but she needed to get every word perfectly spot on.

"Little one... she's not here and she never will be anywhere near you again. I'm so sorry for what she did my little dove you didn't deserve that. You're the purest angel I've ever met. Quite frankly, I can't believe you're mine. I don't know what I did in this life or my past ones to deserve you but I'm so glad I did it. I would never hurt such a sweetling as yourself. And honey you aren't hers. What she did was not you being hers. That's abuse my love. However you can be mine for as long as you wish. I'll only take what you give me darling. You're mine as much as I am yours. Okay my love?"

"You can have my heart... I'm sorry it's in pieces but I want you to have it." You mumbled ducking your eyes to avoid her loving gaze.

"It's a good job we have art classrooms in Nevermore then, im sure I can find some super glue to ensure your heart is whole once more. And I promise to keep it safe for as long as you allow me to have it. Will you have my heart my darling girl?"

"med nöje min älskade" (of course my love) you whispered as you moved to press a sweet kiss to her lips. Exhaustion clouded your mind, you didn't even realise you had spoken another language until the sound of a gasp filled the room. With a small chuckle a kiss was pressed to your head as your lover whispered "oh little one the things you do to me, we must try to sleep again do you think you can?"

You knew Larissa would keep you safe. So you nodded slightly snuggling deeper in her arms allowing her comforting scent wash over you. It wasn't long till your body finally gave into the exhaustion. This time you drifted into a dreamless state. Almost as if Larissa was acting as a knight fighting of all evil.

It wasn't the light peaking through the closed curtains that stirred you. No. It was the hushed tone of your girlfriends whispers into her phone. Your curiosity had you listening in as Larissa informed the other person, who you assumed to Marilyn a close friend of you both, that you and the principle were taking the day off.

"Marilyn... she's exhausted, mhm yes up most the night more poor little dove..... mhm I will.... Yes thank you.... I'll be sure to tell her.... Okay goodbye miss Thornhill."

Once the arms returned over your waist you once again was pulled into the realm of sleep. This time a smile tugging at your lips. You may have gone through some rain but you'd now found your sun. And hopefully together you could create a rainbow.

Word count~ 2227 😳

*Authors note~ the longest one shot yet, if anyone has experienced anything like reader just know it's not your fault and I'll always have open messages to be a listening ear. I myself have experienced something similar so I just want you all to know this is a safe space*

[cbk1000]

@livingdeadblondequeen So I started the Duggar documentary today, and am almost done with episode two. Here are my thoughts so far:

I actually already knew quite a lot of the details because I have a morbid fascination with this family and have done a bit of reading on the quiverfull movement, and I lurk on  r/Duggarsnark sometimes and also a few general fundie subreddits where some ex-fundamentalists have shared their own experiences. I was homeschooled through high school (I went to public school through eighth grade) and the homeschooling community was rife with families like the Duggars. No one was specifically IBLP as far as I know, but lots of kids, submissive girls who had to wear long, modest skirts and couldn’t date were all the norm. I’ll never forget one girl being pulled from a group biology class because we were discussing plant reproduction that day, and apparently that’s too sexy. My family was never super close with any of these families, but we did a monthly get-together at a church with a large group of homeschoolers, and then a few families started a weekly one where we would have group classes (biology, English, etc.) so that we could get some socialization outside of our families. So I did spend some time around them and hear about some of their beliefs, which were wild to me because I was raised in a household that was very politically conservative, but even my dad, who is fairly religious, does not like organised religion, and so we never attended church, and my mom always kind of identified as agnostic. And as soon as I was old enough to sort out my own beliefs from my parents’, I went the straight up atheist route.

That being said, while nothing is much of a surprise, it’s still incredibly fucked up to hear directly from the victims.

I’m enraged all over again that Jill and Jessa had to come out on national television and talk about their perv brother touching them and that they felt the burden of publicly forgiving him and smoothing things over so the cash cow could keep going.

The spanking demonstrations??? The audience laughing??

Also enraged all over again how much Michelle and JimBob downplayed Josh’s actions.

Speaking of Josh, boy hit the wall HARD and FAST. I think he’s the picture in Dorian Grey’s attic. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

I did not actually know they had a big bonfire and burned all their Disney stuff and ‘inappropriate books.’ Nothing says things are going swimmingly like a good old-fashioned book-burning.

When Michelle almost dies during her pregnancy with Josie, and good ol’ JimBob is on TV weeping his fake-ass tears. SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP BREEDING HER LIKE A COW AND MAYBE THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN.

The fact that these people literally beat the individuality out of their kids and then brag about how well-behaved and obedient they are. I’ma blanket train YOU, Michelle.

#will probably watch the rest of the series tomorrow #i have to start prepping dinner pretty soon #livingdeadblondequeen

[nattravn-art]

TTRPG Questionnaire

Tagged by @lipsie! Thank you this is lovely! :D

I'll answer for my butch main gal: the paranormal investigator Beatrice Blythe (homebrewed universe based on Call of Cthulhu, a pseudo Noir-fantasy universe set in an alternate reality version of the UK).

GENERAL

Name: Beatrice Blythe

Alias(es): None but her friends nickname her as Bea. A colleague of hers call her Sir. She likes that.

Gender: Female (she/her)

Age: 30

Place of birth: Small town in Wales

Spoken languages: English, Italian

Sexual orientation: Demi/lesbian... GIRLS!

Occupation: Paranormal investigator/detective

Class: Inquiry Agent

Ancestry: Human

APPEARANCE

Eye color: Amber

Hair color: Auburn (red)

Height: 1,80 m

Scars: Nothing notable (she's got a good healing skin)

Burns: Nothing notable

Overweight: No

Underweight: No

FAVOURITE

Color: Teal, warm browns, fall colours in general

Hair color: Doesn't care

Eye color: Doesn't care

Music genre: Doesn't listen that much to music but dances to swing.

Entertainment: Reading, dancing with her girlfriend.

Pastime: Reading too, and napping when she can. She has a bit of a.. sleep problem. She recently picked up endurance running.

Food: Mamma's ragú (she might be obligated to say that by Italian Family Law but she genuinely loves it)

Drink: Coffee, black, no sugar

Books: Nonfiction books for the most, she enjoys reading about practical things. She might enjoy a sappy lesbian romance book or two though, but you'd rather catch her dead before she admits it.

HAVE THEY

Passed university: Took a course in Criminology before an apprenticeship with a Detective before she applied for her own license.

Had sex: Yes

Had sex in public: No, and is not interested

Kissed a man: No

Kissed a woman: You bet!

Kissed someone of other gender(s): No

Gotten tattoos: No

Gotten piercings: No

Had a broken heart: Yes, when she got rejected by a crush. She then thought she didn't have time for relationships with her line of studies/work and grew close to her best friend she TOTALLY thought just saw her as a friend.

Been in love: Is very much in love with her girlfriend Lizzy.

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: Too many times, both due to her job and the fact otherworldly presences tend to find her at the dead of the night because they NEED her services to break their curse and have no concept of open hours.

ARE THEY

A cuddler: Yes but only in the privacy of her bedroom.

A kisser: Only in private.

A smoker: Yes, of cigarettes and more rarely cigars

Jealous easily: No, she's exclusive with her girlfriend and has absolute trust in her.

Trustworthy: Absolutely, she puts her honour on the line and she has a VERY strong sense of honour. Even it it's detrimental to her sometimes.

Dominant: Quite often. She doesn't particularly like it but she has a very strong "no bullshit" rule and some people she works in collaboration with can pull up quite a lot of bullshit. She also has a temper.

Submissive: It depends of the situation but not often, and as long as she judges it to be fair.

Single: Nope!

RANDOM QUESTIONS

Have they harmed themselves: No

Wanted to kill someone: Yes, but more in the sense that she wished some people would drop dead.

Actually killed someone: No, but she's gotten into physical fights and might have sent some people to the hospital that way.

Ridden a horse: For her girlfriend's sake, yes!

Have/had a job: She's a detective at the head of her an agency that she co-owns with a colleague. She also has 3 associates and is part of a network of paranormal investigators.

Have any fears: Losing her loved ones or have them harmed by looking into too powerful forces/dangerous individuals.

FAMILY

Sibling(s): Single child

Children: Two foster daughters, one that she gets along with greatly and another who she's quite similar with in character. They... tend to clash.

Grandparents: None, all passed

Parents: A witch and writer of a mother and historian of a father! Both are alive and teaching classes at university.

Aunts/Uncles: A bunch of them in Italy that she's barely met, from her mother's side.

Cousins: A bunch in Italy, she's barely met them too.

Pets: No but a benevolent twinned eldritch house spirit who she's welcomed into her home, under the pressure of her girlfriend/colleagues. They eat cobwebs and dust bunnies. She actually really likes them.

tagging @thecrimsonvalley-creates @guided-by-the-blood

#natt answers #lipsie #TTRPG questionnaire #I am SO sorry it took me so long to answer #I was very busy when I was tagged and thought I'd do it later and of course I forgot about it #my bad ;-; #hope y'all enjoy knowing a bit more about my main gal! #Blythe & Associates #Beatrice Blythe

[bbreaddog]

Tagged by @jmrothwell! 💕

Are you named after anyone?

I’m not entirely sure… I have a very vague memory of my mum telling me my English name came about bc it sounded similar to a Chinese singer… but I don’t trust my memory and I’m too afraid to ask again 😬

I don’t think I’m named after anyone re: my Chinese name. Digressing here but was recently reminded that it’s a typically masculine name and that made me feel something… my English name is quite feminine so…

Wondering how my parents came to that conclusion when naming me… wondering if they knew from the start that I had both masculine and feminine energy and needed my names to reflect that or something… much to think about

When was the last time you cried?

Last night 🥲

Do you have kids?

I don’t have my own, but sometimes I refer to my students as my kids. Not for sentimental reasons tho, it’s just easier to say less syllables 👍

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, not at all (deadpan) (lying) (so much)

Sometimes I will deliver things in a way where even I can’t tell whether I’m being sarcastic or not

What sports do you play/have played?

God, my school valued sports so much that I’ve probably tried every sport under the sun.

Ones I regularly trained in at school: tennis, basketball, softball, netball, table tennis, swimming

At uni (all dance genres): tap, jazz, ballet

I did yoga and Pilates for a bit after graduating, but I haven’t been able to do much physical activity the past two years for health reasons 🥲 I would so love to be able to do dance classes again. I really found my groove in third year uni about it and I miss that a lot

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Idk, their clothes I guess

What’s your eye colour?

Rich soil, calligrapher’s ink, a stargazer’s dream. The distance between our feet and the ground. The part of the ocean that lets no light because she loves us too much. The place in time that promises safety, protection, stability.

Endless, endless, and full of possibilities.

(Let me romanticise my black eyes, dammit)

Scary movies or happy ending?

Happy endings for SURE. I absolutely cannot do anything scary. I can’t even watch The Owl House bc the monsters in it look too scary 😭 I’ve been recommended it so many times by so many people, but I just cannot 😭😭😭

Any special talents?

Being naturally good with kids? I know I’m a teacher and this will sound really awful, but I………..don’t actually like kids. Obviously I still treat them with kindness and respect, and I can tolerate them enough to do my job properly. I can (and do) bond with them and form meaningful relationships with them. Takes a village to raise a child, and I’m part of the village, y’know?

Idk what it is, but kids just like me for some reason, without me having to really try. I find just being my usual sarcastic self who doesn’t hide when I’m pissed off is somehow very charming for kids

Jokes aside, it’s definitely a skill I’ve had to develop and refine, especially for teaching. But I’ve just been naturally good with kids since forever—I think being part of the eldest cousins pack in my family has helped a lot in that regard, bc most of my cousins are 8+ years younger than me. So, experience, I guess.

Where were you born?

In a hospital

What are your hobbies?

I am in dire need of new hobbies that aren’t physically taxing on my arm, but currently:

Drawing, reading, writing, baking, singing, playing violin or ukulele, sewing/patching

And this……is technically one of my jobs but I also just do it for fun: acting/scene/script analyses

Gif makers I am making out with you so hard bc i do so much acting analysis from watching individual gifs. IT’S JUST. SO GOOD. EVERY CHOICE IS DELIBERATE, and you can see that in a 2 second gif. You won’t believe how much you can take away from a fleeting, seemingly insignificant moment in a piece of cinema memorialised into a gif lovingly made by a passionate fan. Gifsets are arguably what got me into acting in the first place

So like obviously having a degree in acting means i am also just a huge huge nerd about scene/script analysis too, and it’s so TASTY being able to draw up a whole character profile, backstory, personality, objectives and obstacles, and so many more minute details. From like. A 3-word sentence spoken by a background character that never comes up again. IT’S SO GOOD. I could keep going on about this but this is also getting very long so I shall end it here

I JUST REALLY LOVE ACTING 😭

Do you have pets?

My dog :-) and 3 very perseverant fishies 💕

How tall are you?

Enough to reach the top of a door frame on my tippy toes

Favourite subject in school

Studio Art, but only bc my school cut the Drama dept while I was there :/ I did still really love Studio tho—maybe too much? Idk it definitely contributed to my arm issues bc I had to do a folio each for both Art and Studio Art (two diff subjects)

Dream job

No job. I do whatever I want. I heal whenever I need. I live free of capitalistic responsibilities. I live. I live. I live.

I tag (no pressure to do this): @noworneverphantom @fiddlepickdouglas @drifting-in-otter-space @badsalmonella

#mine #tag game #thanks for tagging <3 #it has been a day and an age since I’ve had any energy to do anything like this #I’ve taken the first week of term off this week bc i am still. having major major health issues. and it is not fun #it’s not relaxing if you’re thinking about what you could be doing is it? #yeah… it’s hard #re: last question ‘dream job’ <- if i absolutely had to choose it would be acting for sure #but between teaching and my health… it’s very rare that I’ll be able to do anything super meaningful career-wise in acting #I’ve turned down so many auditions to the point where my agent no longer gives me anything #maybe like one brief every 6 months now #it’s… sad. i love acting so much #but even if i quit teaching. it’s not a stable career. there’s no guarantee of a job #and it���s expensive being an actor #even more so being a disabled actor #and i like teaching. there’s a lot to gain from it. maybe not financially lol but personally. there’s a lot I’ve learnt that i can apply to #many other areas of life. including acting. so there’s that. #but teaching is not my forever job. i feel like. my health isn’t even cut out for teaching #I’ve had to take so many weeks off. i always feel guilty for leaving my kids when i do #it’s hard not to feel responsible for them even tho I’m only 30 minutes of their weekly schedule #there’s a lot to. unpack here. but we don’t have time for that #this is supposed to be a fun lil tag game but it’s 11:40pm so I’m shifting into unfiltered mode #alright well there’s that #this was legitimately fun to do tho even after all that #i love being tagged in things. even if i don’t get a chance to get to them #pls tag me in more things #<3 #personal

[ame-delights]

Character: Laveny (Lavy)♀

(GIF by RunicPixels)

≡ Role: Compromiser

≡ Age: 16 | August 31st

≡ Class: Magic user/Nebula

≡ Favorite Biome: The Hollow

≡ Random Fact: Laveny has Keratosis Pilaris mainly on her upper arms, legs and chest. She's had this condition since she was a little girl and she actually likes it and doesn't consider it bothersome

≡ Voice Claim: Violet Evergarden (English dub)

Laveny is a very peaceful individual. Not in a traditional sense though. She'll partake in battles and fighting monsters but she holds a lot of empathy for her to ever do anything with any sort of malice. Instead she thinks of fighting this monsters as either self-defense or just to protect her friends!

At first glance you'd assume she's shy or quiet, aloof, dense, or maybe even cold. But thats far from it- It may look it because her resting face is blank and monotone as can be but shes such a sweetheart. She doesn't like conflict at all and tries to avoid it in her case and help calm her friends down if they get into an argument. She's basically a peacekeeper.

In a way she sort of forces herself to speak in a hushed tone because she has a hard time controlling the volume she speaks in and is constantly worried about being to loud so she always seems to be soft-speaking.

When I say she has a way with animals its like you'd assume it to be a super power. Animals just feel so safe around her and she feels safe around them.

But dont get to used to her sweet side because not only is she an absolute beast in battle if someone manages to upset her she can be so distant its like a blade through the chest- She's an easy forgiver though.

One of her favorite past times is decorating- Its just relaxing to her. Of course her main relaxing points are reading, writing, and harvesting herbs and plants to try out new teas.

Her two love languages are physical touch. Oh they are the most gentle touches ever! And gift giving. She has a terrible time expressing her love for people so her safe route is making them things she'll know they like.

Terrible with social cues though. Please no sarcasm- it flies right over her head.

#terraria ocs #laveny oc

[amateurletariat]

So we watched Dead Poets Society last night.

CW: Suicide, abuse, romantic manipulation/coercion(assault) all below the cut.

Also spoilers, obviously.

Besides having a completely white (and mostly male)cast...except for one black dude in the kitchen we saw for literally a second...and the main characters basically being rich kids in prep school, the message of 'don't conform, be an individual that seizes your own life' is a good one, but feels off somehow. A constant theme of the movie is the attempt to be authentic, but within specific parameters, lest ye be punished.

The english teacher, Keating(Robin Williams), is highly unorthodox. The first thing he has the students do is leave the classroom and go stare at the pictures of students from previous years. He starts talking about carpe diem to inspire. He gets them all to rip out the cold and analytical introduction that reduces the quality of poetry to a graph. He shakes up preconceptions and pushes people to explore themselves. These are inherently important to self-actualization, and I genuinely enjoyed those aspects of the movie.

But that's where it stops for me.

"Carpe diem", "life is short", "live fully and authentically"; these are all good messages. Except, in the context of the movie, it's specifically about the next generation of the white owning class seizing their lives, living authenically, and self-actualizing. With one exception°, none of the teens are directly prevented from exploring and pursuing their passions.

This includes one of the 'leaders' of the group of 17 year olds falling in love at first sight with a high school girl he's never met before. When he gets back to his own group, he says it's a tragedy that she loves some oafish jock, that he loves her so he'll go tell her, no matter what. This leads to him first calling her, to which she expresses happiness he called(uh oh), and she invites him to a party that her boyfriend is throwing. At said party, he winds up feeling rejected because he wasn't getting the attention he wanted from her. Eventually we come to him on the couch, dejected and intoxicated, when he notices the blonde girl passed out next to him is the girl(read: object) of his desires. This leads to him leaning over and kissing her on the forehead while she's asleep, which is noticed by no one. Except one of the boyfriend's jock friends sees and directs everyone's attention to it. He's immediately attacked for what he did, but for some reason the girl leaps to poetry boy's defense and gets mad at her boyfriend for throwing punches, not at the guy who was assaulting her in her sleep. After apologizing and leaving, he continues his obsession and pursues her at a later date, confessing love and reading poetry he wrote to her in the middle of her classroom, and after telling him NO multiple times. Just before the big play of the movie, she shows up at his school to warn him her bf is on the warpath, and that she isn't interested in him at all, which he takes as her playing hard to get, because why would she warn him if she didn't care?... So he pleads and prods to let him take her to the play as a date, promising to finally leave her alone if afer the date she still doesn't like him. I hate this trope so much. It seriously reminds me of Revenge of the Nerds, and the whole nice guy 'just let me show you how much smarter/better/faster/stronger I am and you'll suddenly care about me' thing...eugh..

°The exception being one of the main cast wanted to be an actor, it was his whole being, but his father wouldn't have it, and forced him to drop anything that would distract from becoming a doctor, including any leadership roles he was already in. This eventually led to the character lying to his father about being the lead in a play and being found out, which his father orders him to drop out of the play, even though tomorrow is opening night.."I don't care if the world ends tomorrow..." He also lies to his poetry teacher, and others, about talking to his father. Halfway into the play, dear old dad shows up, thankfully waits til the end, then rips him out of school, informing him he'll be enrolled in military school. This leads to the character killing himself in his father's study and launches an inquiry into why this could possibly happen, because surely this boy's home life was immaculate. No question of abuse from the father. None.

After one student flops and tells the administration everything, the rest are forced to sign a document stating that everything that happened was because of the teacher, who is immediately fired. The final scene involves the headmaster showing up to teach the english class, and RW's character drops in to grab the last of his things. As he's on the way out the door, students start standing on their desks, saying 'O captain, my captain' in a show of solidarity, defying the headmaster literally shouting them down.

Aand credits.

So while it has an "overall good message", the 'target audience' severely lacks diversity, and the tropes used are disturbing, at best. The comraderie between every student, save for the snitch at the end, is almost unrealistic. Almost. There was no real hierarchy save for parent/authority vs student. Everyone supported each other unconditionally which feels surreal in our current day, until we remember that these kids are part of the white owning class.

So really, just another day.

#ammy rants #shitty movie tropes #dead poets society #it's just my OPINION

[tenderbittersweet]

Every time I feel like I’ve got a grasp on this whole being an English major thing, I get hit with a text where every fifth word is a piece of jargon that is imprecisely translated—which is something I actually read in the translator notes—from another language that doesn’t have an English equivalent, and I have to read 100 pages of it by Thursday and have smart things to say about it in class. I can’t even say “I understand all of these words individually” because that would be a lie.

#studyblr #study blog #image‚ music‚ text #roland barthes #stephen heath #just english major things #personal #op