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rubra-wav · 2 months

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Snap (part 1) - Deception

(Part 2)

Vox brainrot entry #1.5

Follow up on entry #1

A/N he falls to bits, but they take care of him in the end, I promise. He def deserves it though. If this is bad, I apologise, I've never shown the smut I've written to anyone for feedback lmao.

Probably should have done a word counter for this - it's pretty long.

Cw: 18+ NSFW fic below cut, degradation, edging, punishment, biting, overstimulation, voyeurism, switch (but ultimately bottom) Vox, domtop! reader, AFAB reader - gn pronouns, also feat my nerd ass's knowledge of flower language lmao

Idk if there's other things I should CW in here sorry (advice/correction in comments appreciated 🙏)

- It didn't take you very long to start noticing how he seemed to know what to do perfectly; gifts, gestures, dates. Even if he always played it off as a master at lying through his toothy smile, you weren't an idiot.

- You do curse yourself that you let it slide and treated it as an afterthought for several months however. It begins to become more of a conscious thing on your mind though.

- So you bait him with something so very specific that it wouldn't ever be a consideration normally for someone trying to woo you - as he had been doing for several months at this point. After you know that he's off work, you sit on your phone scrolling and click onto a post about flowers, sprawled across your lounge lazily.

- You smile at your phone and say out to the empty room as if just casually talking to yourself. "Ooo, snapdragons." He fell for it hook line and fucking sinker.

- The next morning, there is a delivery of beautifully wrapped red snapdragons at your door with a note taped to the side of it.

- You felt a mixture of disgust, anger and betrayal rise in your chest at the confirmation that he'd been violating your privacy by looking at you secretly like some fucking stalker. You push it down though, smiling for the camera (literally) and decide that you'll confront him about it later. For now you'd just act like you didn't know he was looking at you, and later on you'd be punishing him for it.

- Your sex life with him hadn't exactly moved that far due to both of your hesitation to move to become more seriously involved, not wanting to fully ruin your friendship with one-another in case it was unrequited. Only being FWB sometimes having sex essentially. But, you decided you would be getting back at him real good for this. You would be much like the flower you had caught him out with.

***

You groaned into the mutually hungry lust-drunk kiss as your lips melded against his, tongues roughly fighting for control against the other as your back was pushed against the wall by Vox who grunted deeply against your lips.

The demon's monitor provided the only light in the house as you arrived home, it serving as the most common secret rendezvous for you two to be together like this. His claws gripping at your sides slid down your thighs to grope at them before picking you up and bringing your crotch up against his steadfast arousal.

You pulled back from the kiss with a gasp at the stimulation and wrapped your legs around his hips to grind closer into one another. "You're very quickly excited just by making out as per usual." You teased him, kissing his face where his cheek should have been.

He let out an embarrassed growl as he glared down at you, the blush on his cheeks making it not hit all that hard. "Shut the fuck up."

You laughed at him as you watched him give a sharp inhale, tensing up at the way you ground your clothed pussy into his dick. You could tell by the way that his claws dug into your hips that he intended to be in control of the situation, and you inwardly grinned in satisfaction as the plan you had been sitting on for a while was finally going to be executed.

Vox slammed his lips back onto yours as he walked to your bedroom, pushing the door open with his foot impatiently and falling forward on the mattress with you gripped against him.

He sat back to begin removing all the layers he was wearing, it taking a long time as usual as he didn't like creasing his jacket or shirt - him wanting to preserve his appearance to the world outside your doors even when his hands were shaking with anticipation of what he thinks is going to be the usual fuck session for him.

And this is where you choose to shift the power dynamic, while he's expecting you to take off your shirt and lay back, you're pouncing on him and slamming his back against the bed the second his shirt, jacket as he finishes shedding his layers.

He looks up at you with surprise as the bed squeaks under the shifted weight, and then annoyance which flickers onto his features but is quickly replaced by a strained smirk. "Haha, yeah, no. That's not how this is gonna g-" you cut him off by moving to straddle him, pressing your lips against his and rolling yourself into his hard-on again. He let out a loud groan into the kiss which teetered into a slight whine.

You could feel the way he tensed up at the embarrassingly submissive sound you'd pulled from him and he moved to try to reposition himself as being in charge again, you didn't let him however as you held him in place under you.

You rhythmically began setting the pace for the two of you, and you felt him begin to relent begrudgingly and give in to his pleasure, one claw gripping your hip as he tried to alter your pace to match his, while the other came up to grab at your chest as your tongues moved against each other in a dizzyingly hot way which added to the growing arousal you felt.

You could feel your wetness seeping uncomfortably into your underwear as Vox's erection rubbing against your cunt at just the right angle sent stabs of pleasure through your body despite your pants.

You parted momentarily to let out a soft panting moan before diving back in. Vox seemed to take this as his chance to try put you under him again, gripping both hands against your sides as he turned the two of you over again, him moving to push you firmer into the mattress but you not letting him as you flipped back the other way and pulled back to look down at him. Observing his frustrated expression and slightly parted lips which were moving as he panted excitedly.

Shaking your head, lips pouted, you shook your finger at him as if scolding a child - patronising him. "Now, now, Vox. You and I both know that this is not about to become where you inevitably fall apart on top of me. Not tonight." He tried to rise from to mattress, opening his mouth to protest at the extra mean way you were addressing him. You put a hand on his chest and pushed him back down.

"You are going to just listen to me and take it how I know you damn well enjoy it despite all the usual whining and bitching." You commanded, eyes narrowing.

Vox went light blue at the cheeks, moving once again to try and change your postions. "What the fuck has got you so damn worked up today?" He growled. You looked down at him while finally allowing the rage you've been feeling for days to seep into your voice.

"Snapdragons." You look down upon him with utter contempt, and watch as his smirk fades and confusion and a bit of fear flickers across his features at the sudden shift in your attitude. He clearly doesn't understand what you mean.

"Wha-" he asked, eyes squinting up at you.

"'Snapdragons'," you repeated, "Are what I said to myself while I was home alone, and then found on my doorstep the next morning. Or at least, when I should have been home alone." You give him an absolutely evil grin laced with anger as his face begins to recognise what you're saying and shifts to utter horror.

"N-no I just guessed truly, you know I'm too busy for that kind of thing anyways! I own Voxtek, it's a non-stop business and you know tha-!" He goes to try and immediately make the usual bullshit excuses. You don't let him as you cut him off, hands moving to grip him by the writs and pin him down to the bed.

"And," your eyes bore into his red ones. "How you'd be sweating nervously as fuck the day after I'd be giving myself some.. self love the night before, after a certain time, which I believe matches up with when you start to knock off of work." You hissed through clenched teeth.

You were ready to give more examples but didn’t have to as Vox's face turned fully purple with embarrassment. You watched in satisfaction as his excuses turned into horrified, growingly rapid spluttering nonsense as he glitched and jolted under your gaze with utter humiliation.

"I-I'm. I-! I- hf, I just- stop looking at me like that!" He let out a horrified mumble which petered off into a whine, eyes looking away but ultimately coming back to yours as you glared at him unwaveringly.

He'd never seen you this pissed off at him and it honestly scared him. The heavy feeling of self disgust set in on him as his activities which he'd been brushing off for a while now came crashing down in on him. As he looked into your eyes, feeling his wrists being gripped hard in your hands, he did something which he normally never does; apologise genuinely.

"I-I'm," he blue sceened in the middle of his sentence as humiliation made his voice crack "--orry. 'M sorry I won't ev--r do -t aga-in!" Pixelated tears had begun to form at the edges of his eyes as he allowed his embarrassment at his actions and being caught by you finally take over.

Vox hated himself for putting on such a pathetic display, but he hadn't exactly liked himself over how much he craved spying on you in general, especially in the more intimate moments he knew he particularly shouldn't have been seeing.

The burning hot anger inside of you began to dissipate slightly as you watched the way he was so openly expressing remorse for his actions, however your punishment for this shit was far from over.

You stopped glaring at him as hard, and rather fixed your face with a blank expression instead as you leaned forward towards him and gently gripped the side of his screen. "I--m -orry I'm sor-ry.." He repeatedly whined again and again. Vox sniffled loudly as he looked up at you with a somewhat hopeful expression, hoping it was enough to stave away the rage he had seen in your eyes.

"You're going to be." You said coldly as you reached downwards to begin undoing his belt. You didn't miss the way he jolted in surprise. He was going to be getting sexual punishment from you? This was certainly not something he was expecting, and he felt an extra layer of embarrassment at the excitement he felt at that prospect.

You took his dick in your hand and looked at the way it twitched with quite a bit more vigor then usual. "You're joking. Does the prospect of me punishing you over this really excite you this much? You're a filthy fucking pervert." You insulted him with a look of distaste, smirking inwardly.

"N-no no!" His eyes widened as he glitched out, voice coming out mortified.

You shook your head as you moved your face to the space in between his shoulder and neck. "Your body is much more honest than you are." You murmured, relishing the way he shivered under you as your breath fanned across his neck.

You moved your hand down to grip firmly around his dick, stroking it as your teeth sunk deep into his throat. Vox jolted under you, letting out a strained moan due to how he was tearing up before, just starting to compose himself with his guilt, embarrassment and the weight of your gaze just a minute ago.

You began tormenting the twitching and tense demon under you. You pumped his dick in your hand while kissing his neck and shoulders, leaving marks as you went, putting him in a pleasure filled haze that was dizzying to Vox.

"Shaking under me like some common fucking slut." You laughed against his skin where you pressed your lips against his chest, prompting a huff with teetered off into a moan as you sped up your hand on him.

Whatever calming down he'd been doing was undone quickly as his first climax began to approach after all the attention, coupled with the various degradation you were giving him.

He let out a loud groan coupled with words that were barely orders at this point and were much more begs. "Ugh, l-like thaat." Vox moaned, arching further into your touch as sticky precum began flowing in large amounts from the flushed head of his dick.

Just as it was obvious he was going to come the next second, you took your hand off of him and brought away any stimulation you'd been giving him all at once.

He let out a disappointed grunt at the loss of contact, looking up at you and trying to tug at your heart strings to allow him release. He could tell you weren't going to however by the way you looked at him though. He already regretted it, but it was clear you were far from satisfied.

Once again, you began kissing him.

Your lips made their way downwards, agonisingly slow to get him further uncomfortable and bothered.

Vox watched you with rapt attention as your lips left dark grey/blue hickies on his skin. For the first time in his life, it seemed the demon was truly speechless.

He knew he'd truly fucked up as bad as he probably could if he was getting this kind of treatment from you of all people. You certainly weren't some yes-man pushover, but the usual layer of sweetness covering your words and actions as you interacted with him even while pissed was gone.

Vox arched with a whine as your lips finally wrapped around his already overstimulated cock, and then began a barrage of agonisingly pleasurable, contradictory torment upon it that had him giving out broken sobs by the end of it.

You edged him again several more times, skilfully sucking on him before taking your mouth off again and again as he almost orgasmed, all the while giving him criticism each time he failed to orgasm.

By this point, Vox was well and truly crying with the overstimulation and now painful arousal he was experiencing. His ego was in tatters, and he didn't have the fucks to give about hiding his desperation at this point.

"You truly are a shameless fucking pervert." You growled against the inside of his hip as you sunk your teeth into his skin there as he came down from halted release. You relished the sound he made, a loud and glitchy whine which didn't even try to negate your insult this time.

You leaned over to once again begin sucking him off, pausing before taking him in your mouth. His claws gripped into the sheets for some kind of consolation, as he had already tried to seek comfort in gripping at your hair to pull you further onto him, and you'd swatted his hand away with a hard glare up at him.

The demon's tear filled red eyes and purple face watched you desperately above as you wrapped your lips and tongue around him once again, you looking up at him with blank contempt that shattered him inside further.

You looked down away from his crying face as you swallowed an uncomfortable amount of precum. Pulling away from Vox in the middle of abusing his dick yet again. He let out a broken sob at the loss of contact again, eyes squeezing shut hard.

At this point, he was unable to even deny how much he just wanted release and a break from the relentless harsh words you had been giving him the whole time. The rare event where Vox wasn't being as bratty as possible was truly a shocking one.

His screen at this point was mostly just flashing blue with an error message alongside his whines, which had begun to sound less humanised and more mechanical. You didn't read it fully, but it was something along the lines of: 'Remove subject Them.exe (I'm s_rry I'm sorr_ pl--e pleas_) to prevent further error.'

You hummed somewhat sympathetically as you observed the way he trembled with overwhelm; skin covered in goosebumps, sweat, and a patchwork of your bite marks and hickies. You could tell at this point you had given him enough, and anything further would just be cruel.

The rest of the road to full forgiveness for his bullshit would be outside the bedroom. He was truly wrecked at this point.

You got up and stood up on the bed over him and quickly moved to undo your pants.

The man on the bed looked at you with desperate eyes as you finally revealed your contrastingly touch starved sex.

"Please- I'm sorry, so so sorry, please, plea--, pl-eeash." Vox whined quietly, pleading with you.

You got down on your knees over him again, gripping his hand and guiding it between your thighs as you shushed him softly. "I know, I know, hon." You leaned forward and gently kissed him on his lips, trying to calm him down. "It'll be over soon."

He mumbled out relieved nonsense at the fact you weren't being so mean, and the confirmation he'd be finishing finally. Vox took up the non-verbal cue and began gently touching in between your thighs.

You moaned softly as the kiss you were sharing began to become more passionate, his claw carefully pushing inside of your neglected pussy to avoid hurting you at all.

Your hands moved to gently cup his neck as you pushed your tongue into his mouth, forcing the taste you'd been dealing with the past while. You heard him gag on the taste of his own precum, but he still didn't try to push away as his disgust melted into a throaty groan.

You pulled back from the kiss as you jolted at the feeling of him brushing his thumb over your clit. "Good boy." You praised him breathily. God that did something to him. Vox's brain had been messed up from all the torment, but the sudden praise made it feel like it was turning to mush as warmth flooded his chest intoxicatingly.

You softly laughed at the way he seemed to be so happy after hearing that, arching a brow at him. You leaned back to look down at him. "Don't think you're off the hook here. You're still a disgusting voyeur," his face fell again as more tears flowed from his eyes. "Though," you leaned forward so your lips were barely off of his screen. "I suppose you are my disgusting voyeur because I'm feeling so nice about all this." Vox let out a little relieved huff at the reassurance, relaxing again and focusing more on trying to pleasure and prepare you.

Vox leaned forward awkwardly in an effort to properly kiss your neck in a way that made you comfortable even with the way his head was shaped as he began trying to match his fingers' pace inside of you with what you usually wanted. It was very rare that he was this obviously eager to please you. Showed just how absolutely fucked up he was.

As his tongue ran over your neck, it brought up goosebumps at the strangely wet yet static electric-like sensation his tongue had. You sighed, gripping at his shoulders as you rocked your hips down on his fingers.

Vox's eyes softened with love-sickness where you couldn't see as he heard the sounds of your sighs and murmured praises, tasting the salt of the sweat on your skin and feeling your walls gripping onto his fingers with desire with a satisfied groan.

He was utterly relieved that you had started treating him better again; even though he was absolutely aware in every fibre of himself that he did deserve it and more. The fact that you hadn't broken off your strange situationship with him the second you figured it out was truly a blessing.

You prompted him to lay back into the bed again as you were prepared enough to take him. He didn't fight you as he flopped back onto the mattress, his eyes admiring the way his fingers dripped with your sticky wetness as they pulled out of you with a lewd squelching.

"You're not going to come instantly inside me." You said pointedly to him; not a request but an order. He nodded quickly as he gave you a look like he would never ever do that. You wouldn't be surprised if he did with all the attention he'd been getting despite the pause, but you hoped not.

You slithered one hand downwards to position him to slide inside of you, the other cupping the side of his face.

You let out a relieved sigh as he slid into you with little to no effort - the precum he'd been leaking for so long at this point was significant lubrication along with your own.

The pace you set was quite quick from the get go as you pressed yourself down onto him at the right angle to hit where needed to be hit inside of you.

Vox's claws moved to grip at your back with clear desperation. You let him cling onto you this time. You smirked down at him, observing the fucked out expression he was showing alongside an error message that was just showing keysmash alongside a heat warning that was displaying on the right side of his monitor, flashing climbing temperature.

You leaned forward to give him an absolutely filthy kiss, open mouthed and drooling as you two shoved your tongues into each other; both of you moaning loudly into it.

The room filled with the sounds of the two of you fucking messily, your sweaty bodies rubbing harshly against one-another creating extremely loud slapping noises alongside your moans and the whining cries of Vox who had seemingly found his voice again.

"-on't stop! Don't st -- op! Fu-cking he-ll!" Vox yelled as he dug his claws painfully into the skin of your back, likely leaving scratches. The pain of it didn't yet kick in as your own sky-high arousal and growing pleasure hit into you in hot waves that had your knees shaking as you rode him.

"Not happening- fuuck." You groaned out, voice teetering higher at the end.

Ecstacy began to climb quickly, and the rhythm eventually began to fall apart as you began slamming yourself onto his dick in a frenzy to stimulate yourself.

"This what you wanted spying upon me, huh?" You teased on top of him, observing the way he so clearly was so close to finishing from the way you were clenching around his already over stimulated cock. "Such a gooood little bitch." That sent Vox screaming over the edge with an extremely loud yell accompanied by mechanical whirring as he hit his peak.

The feeling of him filling you up was fucking heavenly as you slammed down on him one last time and arched into the claws that had dug long scratches down your back that were now weeping beads of blood in places as your orgasm overtook you.

As you panted, feeling your pleasure hit into you in waves, you watched as Vox glitched badly below you, face looking up at you with a fucked out expression that read as if he was looking at some sort of deity - before switching off under you, leaving nothing but a black screen which began flashing a 'we'll be right back' message as well as a 'critical temperature error 121 degrees' in bold red.

You cursed, getting off of him shakily and quickly walking to go get an ice pack. As mad as you were with him right now, you didn't want to actually damage him.

As you came back with the ice pack, you noticed that he'd switched back on on a very low brightness, face looking as he was sweaty as all hell and it was obvious he was still coming down from his prior release. The red number was flashing 102 now as it began climbing downwards.

You breathed a sigh of relief while shaking your head in slight annoyance. You walked over to the edge of the bed and sat on it, pressing the icepack on the side of his neck where you'd first bit him. "You're so damn dramatic." You scolded him, only half seriously insulting him.

Vox had somewhat gotten his bearings back, and he looked away in embarrassment with a sour look on his face. "Shut the fuck up." You rolled your eyes, and went to fake getting up.

"Okay, I guess I'll just leave then if you don't want me here, asshole." You snorted as you watched his bullshit crumple so fast, him looking back at you and gripping onto your wrist pleadingly.

He grumbled again when he realised you weren't serious and relaxed against you as you moved to lay on top of him. Your chin rested on his chest as you looked up at him with growing fatigue expectantly as the temperature bar quickly dropped from red to orange, and his flushed purple face began to turn the usual shade of blues he usually had.

He sighed as he somewhat seemingly struggled to say what he knew he had to. "Listen, I... I am sorry. Really. I know it was wrong, and I... won't do it again." He looked away from you with clear remorse in his exhausted voice.

You stared at him for a few seconds before nodding. "You're not off the hook yet. Tomorrow, you will tell me where the things you've been watching me through are, and I will be you-proofing them." You said very seriously.

Vox went to bite back the usual level of snark but figured he'd be bratting far too close to the sun after what you had already done. "Fine." He said enunciating the 'f' as if it took everything to say it.

You hummed in satisfaction with his answer and buried your face into his chest. Vox sighed heavily, looking at the vase full of now wilting snapdragons that had started all of this with annoyance as he loosely wrapped his hands around you.

"You're lucky I love you so much." You murmured tiredly into his skin. What.

You startled as you realised that you'd just said that out loud. Opening your eyes with a shocked expression and slowly finding Vox, whose red eyes were looking at you with equal shock.

The silence in the room was all-encompassing.

A/N If you got the metaphor, I love you so much 🙏 (hint: snapdragons mean deception)

Oh my fucking God it was like the world didn't want me to write this one. First copy get screwed into nothingness because my reception got cut due to mfs doing work on the phone towers in my area, then after I got back home and had WiFi I got absolutely killed by a migraine that would not leave me tf alone.

I got so into writing this that I physically went outside and touched grass afterwards 💀

#vox #vox headcanons #vox x reader #vox hazbin #vox fanfiction #vox x reader fanfic #i didnt intend initially to have this be multiple parts but my dumbass decided to at the last minute #so chapter 2 of this will be in my sights #also any feedback would be appreciated #may rewrite this with an amab reader as well bc i havent seen any amab reader stuff

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bonefall · 5 months

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I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

#I once saw someone say offhandedly 'well what if someone snuck up on jay from behind and attacked him. No whiskers there'#NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD #He doesn't have short whiskers either they're normally sized #Something like 4 - 5 inches on a cat like him. About double the size of the head foward and sideways #Once you're talking about close combat like the cats usually do there's no way that you can stay back far enough to avoid them #I want to rewrite owl and jay's fight or make a rematch where jay realizes owl is being a coward #Hanging just out of his range and jabbing at him #But once he realizes it's just a coward's strategy it clicks that the counter is to be aggressive #And not let his opponent out of his 'range'#Also give him a neat little scene where they're grappling next to Black's dam project where it's super muddy #And Jay is like 'YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY? LETS GET FILTHY' and dunks Owl's face down into the mud #Because Jay can fight without his sight but Owl doesn't know how to continue while there's stinging gunk in his eyes and nose #I like thinking about what I'm going to do for BB!Jay's matches because his fighting style is really fun to write #1. Be aggressive and proactive 2. Don't let them out of range 3. SCARE THEM #From the Mud Match he learns that the best way to end a fight quickly is to absolutely terrify them #Because they're usually not expecting the fight to be difficult nor are they expecting to feel like theyre in danger #So if you surprise them it breaks their willpower real fast #And as he gains a reputation for brutality he faces less opponents until he's practically known as the Cleric Without Mercy #Bone babble

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annymation · 3 months

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youtube

Disney… Why would you delete this????

IM SO MAD! GUYS WATCH THIS!!! It’s so sweet! Would’ve made me cry watching the movie!!!

AND SABINO AND ASHA INTERACTING IS SO AMAZINGLY WRITTEN OH MY GOSH I WILL COMBUST!!!

THEIR DYNAMIC IS JUST HOW I IMAGINED IT IN THE “INTRO” CHAPTER OF MY REWRITE!!! I WAS RIGHT!!! HE IS A DREAMER THAT DIDNT TRUST MAGNIFICO AAAAAH!!!

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chestnutisland · 7 months

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I watched RoF...now you get to angst and suffer with me...>D

#krillin #android 18 #marron #dbz #dbs #seriously tho the moment the earth was blown to smithereens was anguish #and the survivors realising was even worse #especially in the DBS episodes #I think they did it a little better there than the actual movie #there was more emotion #anyway krillin for sure would be so relieved and angsty when seeing his family again #infact he may not let them out of his sight for a while #they all pile into the big bed together that night and sleep closely together #I wrote a TUSOKI chapter on it aswell #but I may rewrite another one we'll see #where I'll use these sketched out scenarios #mine

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jo-the-bass-stealer · 21 days

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the great divide is probably the least interesting episode of atla. this is not a hot take.

HOWEVER.

consider bi girl sokka, who just a couple episodes ago met the kyoshi warriors and got a lil kiss on the cheek from suki (another girl. gasp.) seeing the leader of the zhang tribe??? butchest woman to ever live??? are you kidding me???

#you can't tell me the two of them didn't have a heart-to-heart by the campfire while eating some pork chops or something #jo's atla rewrite #atla #sokka #avatar the last airbender #sokka: so. do you uh. like men #zhang: the only man I like is a gon jin fleeing at the sight of my blade!#sokka: ✨woah✨

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ball-of-butter · 11 months

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the way some maven apologists will hateeee on cal as if cal himself wasn’t the only maven apologist in the series

#plus elara but she doesnt count #bro looked at mares scar and was like ‘yeahhhhh 😬😬 thats so awky sorry abt that ahahah… 😬’#cal is so much better than me if my little sister did that im body slamming her on SIGHT and he still had the restraint lmao #bro is still mourning him after all these years. incredible.#red queen #war storm #tiberias vii calore #glass sword #red queen series #kings cage #maven calore #broken throne #rewriting

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marvelousmagicalaura · 7 months

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I've been having a lot of discussions and thoughts about Ruin's future sight, Preservation's plans, and Harmony's knowledge.

Because of this, I have a good basis on how to write Ruin in my Mistborn AU. Sanderson has hinted that Ruin is the power of change and entropy, so I really want to lean in that direction. Rather than portraying him as the entity of death and destruction that Sanderson wrote him as, I want to write him as the God of Decay and Entropy. Everything we associate with canon Ruin would be parts of his desire/methods of ensuring that all things degrade and decay. Death and destruction are parts of his Intent, but they aren’t forefront in the Intent. The forefront of Ruin’s Intent consists of degradation, entropy, and chaos. To enhance this idea, I may write that AU Ruin pushes people to embrace uncertainty and change.

For example, we know that Ruin canonically pulled the strings behind Kelsier’s rebellion and the discovery of the Eleventh Metal. I would enhance this idea, so that Ruin is responsible for the rise and fall of pre-Rashek empires and kingdoms, war, the advancement of technology, and rebellions. In the Final Empire’s context he would be responsible for guiding its various rebellions, and for advancing technology in the less controlled Dominances.

Ruin weaves and executes multiple, branching schemes to ensure the subtle, slow downfall of Scadrial and its empires. He knows there are countless ways his Intent is present in the Universe, and will execute them through any avenue. I would significantly expand on his actions throughout history.

I desperately intend to expand upon Ruin’s precognitive abilities. It doesn’t feel right downplaying Ruin’s future sight when the only WoB we have about it came from 2012, way before Sanderson truly incorporated precognition into the Cosmere. Not only that but the Mistborn trilogy was written before he solidified Cosmere-wide mechanics. I think that once a Mistborn adaptation comes out, we will truly see his abilities in action.

AU Ruin’s future sight would still be inferior to Preservation. It feels slightly wrong LMAO, but it’s necessary for the ending. But it’s far better than Elend’s future vision and Odium’s future sight.

I haven’t read Stormlight yet, but I heard that Odium definitively has future sight. Going by the IRL definition of the word “odium,” I believe canon Ruin’s Intent of causing death and destruction requires a lot more foresight/planning than inducing hatred.

AU Ruin would also be so much more destructive when released. I want to give Ruin more influence over the world by creating more natural disasters - earthquakes with more impact, floods, earthquakes, blizzards, thunderstorms, tornadoes and hurricanes, scenes of Luthadel’s death etc…

Right now I plan to say that weakened Ruin w/ Preservation’s presence can manipulate phenomena that already exists in Scadrial's natural science. He can manipulate and create anything on the planet to his liking, but he can't _completely_ destroy its structure. He can't do feats like reduce the continents to nothingness, boil the oceans in their entirety, or burn the planet down until nothing remains.

But he can do everything the Lord Ruler accomplished during his Ascension. Weakened Ruin can move the continents or split them apart, move the planet, boil the oceans so they’re absurdly hot, and make the planet hotter or colder.

#mistborn #cosmere #mistborn critical #cosmere critical #mistborn rewrite #mistborn ruin #brief mention of stormlight #brief mention of odium #ruin is the god of decay and entropy #can’t see how odium could possibly see into the future better than odium #better see some of ruin’s future sight in the mistborn adaptation

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rewritingcanon · 8 days

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scorbus satosugu cosplay

my eyes widened to the size of two small moons. crossover of the century mayhaps?

#see if satosugu just acted the complete opposite of themselves and denied themselves the choice to act on any desire they had-#-then technically theyd be exactly like scorbus!! hah….. ha…. whats the opposite of a comfort ship again #but yeah i can kinda see the physical resemblance if i squint really hard (im also far sighted so that helps)#jjk #hp #harry potter #hpcc #cursed child #scorpius malfoy #albus severus potter #scorbus #satosugu #gojo satoru #geto suguru #rewriting #ask #anon #out of everything i wouldnt expect this to be my first anime ask LOL ITS SO RANDOM I LOVE IT

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bang-bang-gang · 3 months

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my heart is not open for juiceboard. he is but a shadow of a shadow.

#veraposting #thoroughly considered rewriting the waluigi being the individual shaped by the signifier copypasta #but then i got too caught up reading about post structuralism and i got Real Thoughts by accident #cardblade STOOD for something. he served a purpose. he was real #juiceboard isn’t real. he blurs the line where reality ends and fiction begins #the people are cheering for the idea of a thing but they lost sight of what the thing actually was #also his structure is so fundamentally misshapen he can never touch tips with toni schiavone the way cardblade did

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frida--y · 1 year

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everytime they get into their dumb arguments.....................

#kamen rider geats × revice: movie battle royale #kamen rider revice #sc #spoilers #as much as post ryuki content plagues me the sight of these characters interacting even as they get older never fails to make me tear up #i just rewrite everything i dont like in my head n its all good #also no asakura scene even though its implied hes out roaming like these two lmaooooo

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bonefall · 1 year

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Hello! Firstly, this is an incredible project you’ve got here and I’m very impressed by the amount of work put into this. I’ve always been frustrated warriors isn’t as good as it could be so it’s cool to see someone doing such a cool project.

Secondly, I remember reading that at least one cat was rewritten to be deaf, but I can’t remember who that was. Also, what do you think life is like for a deaf cat in the clans? They’d have more difficultly than a normal deaf cat since the clan cats use verbal language. Some books mention tail signals meaning specific things, so do you think the cats have a nonverbal system of communicating?

Deafness is THE hardest sensory disability for a Clan cat to have. Moreso than blindness, moreso than a lack of scent. The Clans are heavily inaccessible to people who are deaf, unfortunately, but the fact there's now 5 cats in recent memory with total deafness is causing active change.

The biggest problem is the fact that a deaf cat has a hard time understanding how loud they are. Hunting is a lot harder when you both can't hear prey scuffling around AND can't tell when your actions are making a lot of noise to scare your quarry off. In Clanmew, the sounds animals make are so important that they're even named after them; "European Jay" is Arkr, "Toad" is Amam, "Frog" is Roeg.

This comes easier when a cat isn't born deaf, but cats like Snowkit and Whitewing need a lot more training than an abled warrior.

The other problem is a lack of accessibility. Clanmew is heavily verbal with tone indicated by body language, Whitewing can tell you're being sarcastic but not WHAT you're being sarcastic about unless she's lipreading. Hearing loud commands over the heat of battle is also an issue, you can't obey a "RETREAT" order if you don't notice your clanmates are fleeing as well, even with an appropriate tail signal.

When you mention the tail signals-- that's from Battles of the Clans, and they're limited to combat commands. I also created a glyph system for the cats to write with as well which covers more non-battle concepts.

Snowkit in particular LOVED glyphs. Brackenfur (his nephew) was bonding with him over it, expanding it out. If Snowkit hadn't died, he would have forged a ton of new signs, especially related to constellations which he was very fond of.

I'm approaching deafness accommodations as something the Clans are actively working on, unlike a lot of other rewrites which have a sign language pre-prepared! Especially in the modern age when warfare has become more organized, giving the cats more time to work on new things.

The cats who are deaf in my rewrite so far are;

Featherkit (not super important but this is Dappletail's child and Graystripe's sister. She died of plague and Feathertail is named after her.)

Snowkit (sadly his death is narratively important, but has an expanded personality and he dies shoving Tawnykit out of the way of the hawk. It isn't related to his deafness.)

Whitewing (Feels pressured to 'live the life Snowkit couldn't,' which is damaging. Serious and pious.)

Dovewing (Loses her hearing along with her powers, frustrated by her lack of autonomy which eventually causes her to leave ThunderClan. "I don't WANT to practice glyphs right now leave me alone stop making yourselves feel better by trying to 'fix' me")

Fallowfern (In-canon she only loses her hearing in old age, but I want to make her hearing loss an earlier onset.)

#Funfact: you know how in English we say stuff like 'I see!' to say that we understand something?#In Clanmew that expression is 'Pi' which is both Seeing/Hearing #One-eye's Clanmew name is a fun quirk. It's Mwiskpi #'Missing-Sight/Hearing'#Pi is an opening particle which denotes that you experienced the information you're relaying firsthand #'I see that Harestar has a tunnelbun' =#'pi woomoerpbum Yywayashai urrwrah'#'See/hear tunnelbun Harestar clanmate-owns'#disability #deafness #Bonefall Rewrite #clanmew

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spritebug · 6 months

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Boobcinda?

Nah nah nah,

beardcinda.

#forgive the image quality it’s a photo of another screen #i love the glitches man #truly a wonderful sight #minecraft diaries #aphmau minecraft diaries #aphmau mcd #minecraft diaries rewrite #aphmau #mcd rewrite #aphmau lucinda #lucinda the witch #lucinda mcd

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tennelleflowers · 2 years

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Rewriting “The Power of Three”-The Sight (text version)

Okay, I said I would attempt to organize a written version of my rewrite here for you guys, so here it goes! I know it’s been a while and I should’ve done this much sooner, but it’s just a lot to organize and go through. A lot of my ideas were written over several different docs before they went into the final script, so this will be an attempt to show you guys what I took down for notes, what I wanted to change/fix/explore, and then what I wrote in the end.

I’m gonna break this up by book because this is already gonna be long. Of course if you just wanna hear all of it, go watch my video: https://youtu.be/D0G_40Q4A_o

I know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Feel free to use any of my ideas to write your own fanfic or whatever. I have 0 plans to ever actually write this, so have at it. My video was my way to talk about my frustrations with the arc and where I would’ve liked to see it go instead.

I also want to emphasize that my main goal with these “Rewriting” videos is to try to stay AS CLOSE to canon as I can, while still finding ways to make the books more enjoyable (to me, at least). Which was a huge challenge for this series because, to be frank, not a lot happens, and a lot of the things that do happen don’t add up to much. And that’s a big problem. So I had to invent more exciting scenarios/explanations of events to build to a climax that I felt would still be in the spirit of the original books and lead into Omen of the Stars without much changing. Of course, my version of PoT does end up making some big splashes to the canon by the end of it, but I think overall it is still in line with the general themes the arc presented us.

Let’s get started with some of my original notes when going into this rewrite for ‘The Sight’:

Rewriting PoT

Goals/Things to keep in mind:

-Keeping the 3 as POV’s for each book. It’s their story, so Jay, Holly, and Lion should get equal development and screen time. Always ask: How does this make x character grow? How does this change their group dynamic? How does x’s growth affect the world around them? If I can’t answer these questions about each of them, I need to think about it more.

-Find a way to tie each story together by the end. Most books will be structured with the three feeling isolated or separated from each other, but the end should find a way to bring them back together: for better or worse. Each book should also feel like a milestone in them becoming more powerful. They need to level up at a consistent rate.

-Moving the plot forward quicker, with Long Shadows/Sunrise happening mid series

-Hollyleaf being “evil” for the second half of the arc, with Sol as the main antagonist

-Make Sol an interesting antagonist, somehow

-What the fuck am I going to do with the Tribe stuff for this arc??? Hhh…I’ve got plans for it in OotS, but I think scrap all but the bare minimum of it in this arc and use it as foreshadowing for OotS.

-Giving all 3 cats more authority so their powers actually come across as scary to outsiders

-Can’t keep this one as canonical as the Rewriting New Prophecy video, bc the problems with PoT are more of a direct result of the slow paced storytelling, verus NP where the main problem was *how* the story was told

-Will still try my best to keep things canonical, but events from Omen of the Stars can be used and shuffled in as well. Since these series are so closely linked, rearranging these events could help build narrative tension.

-Kill Firestar in Long Shadows. It would be much more meaningful here, especially if we build a relationship between him and the Three. Huge power dynamic shift and allows the Three to actually stand a chance at becoming “dangerous prophecy cats”

-No prologues, only epilogues. Making this a series that makes you ask questions at the end. You get a satisfying conclusion in each book, but the epilogue fuels the mystery and tension of anticipation for the next book.

The Sight

What happens canonically:

Jay, Holly, and Lion are apprenticed

Jay wants to be a Warrior but bc of his blindness is forced to be a Medicine Cat

Holly wants to be a Medicine Cat because of the power it gives her, but switches to Warrior when she realizes she’s bad at it

Lion is big dumb lad who wins fights, loves his dad, and hates Breeze

Graystripe comes back with Millie

Cat Olympics

*indicate who is the focal character of the book. Each book focuses on each character, but each book highlights 1 moreso than the others

How could we improve (?) this:

Jay*- Instead of wanting to be a warrior, Jaykit just wants to find a way to be an active member of the clan, because the clan has basically decided to keep him a kit longer than Holly and Lion, with the implication that he’ll be moved to the Elders den eventually and never be given the opportunity to train. Some clan cats (Thornclaw, Spiderleg) resent Jay and say things like “he’s using valuable resources” blah blah blah, but on the other side, Firestar and others say Jay is part of the clan just like any other cat but don’t allow him to do anything. Brightheart stands up for Jaykit and begins training him privately. After a while, Jay realizes he wants to be a medicine cat and Brightheart helps him learn the territory and how to care for herbs so he can prove his worth to Firestar and Leafpool for the job. Jay’s powers are starting to emerge. He can feel the emotions of the clan and how they resent and pity him and this makes him bitter. StarClan, at least, encourages Jaykit to continue pushing to become a Medicine Cat.

Holly- Mostly stays the same. Note that when she is a Medicine Cat apprentice, she feels ostracized from the other TC apprentices, this builds up as time goes on and she gets more frustrated with MC duties.

Lion- Focus more on the apprentice dynamics. The other apprentices are jealous of Lion for picking things up so quickly, and bc he isn’t humble about it. He also trains in the Dark Forest and loves being better than everyone else at fighting, although he feels guilty for talking to Tigerstar and Hawkfrost. He tries to find comfort in Holly and Jay, but both are bitter towards him as well. Holly wants to be better friends with the other apprentices and Jay is bitter about not becoming an apprentice at all. Lion could even be feeling pity towards his brother that Jay calls him out on.

Mid-book Graystripe comes back. (Maybe Graystripe and Millie come back during a normal day, Lion attacks them and expects to be praised for defending the border, but everyone is horrified he hurt Graystripe. This is part one of Lion’s wake up call.) This whole book is about figuring out where you fit in. After seeing the clan struggle with where Graystripe fits back into TC life, Holly and Jay finally get to do their switcheroo and Lion realizes he’s been a bit of a show-off/jerk to the other apprentices and stops that behavior but instead starts to become withdrawn.

End the book in a similar fashion, with the all day Gathering and the climax with Breeze almost dying before Jay and Lion save his ungrateful punk ass.

Epilogue: Firestar gets the Power of Three prophecy

Okay! So those were most of my notes specifically about how I wanted to handle this book and now here’s my actual script for the video:

So, in my rewrite, instead of wanting to be a warrior, Jaykit just wants to find a way to be an active member of the clan, because the clan has basically decided to keep him a kit longer than Holly and Lion, with the implication that he’ll be moved to the Elders den eventually and never even be given the opportunity to train. Hollypaw and Lionpaw get apprenticed while Jaykit stays in the nursery. Some clan cats (like Thornclaw and Spiderleg) resent Jaykit and say things like “he’s using up valuable resources” “He doesn’t contribute anything to ThunderClan”, which is horrible, but on the other side of things, Firestar and his family say that Jaykit is part of the clan just like any other cat but don’t allow him to do anything.

In the midst of all this, Brightheart stands up for Jaykit and begins training him privately. After a while, Jay realizes he wants to be a medicine cat and Brightheart helps him learn the territory and uses her past Medicine Cat training to show Jaykit how to care for herbs so he can prove his worth to Firestar and Leafpool for the position. From the start of all this, Jaykits powers are starting to emerge. He can feel the emotions of the clan and how they resent and pity him and this makes him bitter and gives him all his angst that we know and love him for. StarClan visits Jaykit one night in his dreams and encourages Jaykit to continue pursuing becoming a Medicine Cat.

Now during all of this, of course, Hollypaw is training with Leafpool. For the time being, this mostly stays the same as the book. With a slight addition that when she is a Medicine Cat apprentice, she feels ostracized from the other ThunderClan apprentices. She doesn’t get their in-jokes and feels like she’s being left behind. This builds up as time goes on and she gets more frustrated with Medicine Cat duties. It’s not bringing her the glory, recognition, or satisfaction she thought it would.

For Lionpaw, I want to focus more on the apprentice dynamics and give Lionpaw a bit more character development. Reminder: the apprentices around this time are Berrypaw, Hazelpaw, Mousepaw, Cinderpaw, Honeypaw, and Poppypaw. The other apprentices are jealous of Lionpaw for picking things up so quickly. And because Lionpaw isn’t very humble about his prowess either, they pretty quickly start to exclude Lionpaw and call him a show-off. Ashfur also turns out to be a hard mentor to please. (2 guesses as to why. And the second guess doesn’t count.) With no real friends and no Hollypaw or Jaykit to hang around either, he begins training in the Dark Forest. Tigerstar and Hawkfrost feed into Lionpaw’s ego, and in a way, are the closest things to friends that Lionpaw has made so far. As much as Lionpaw loves being better than everyone else at fighting, he does still feel guilty for talking to Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.

At his lowest point in this book, he tries to talk to Holly and Jay about his problems, but both are bitter towards him as well. Hollypaw wants to be better friends with the other apprentices so she doesn’t understand why Lionpaw can’t just get over himself and be nice, and while Jaykit understands the struggle not getting along with their clanmates, he’s still bitter about not becoming an apprentice at all, and thinks Lionpaw has it easy compared to him. Jaykit’s powers also allow him to read Lionpaw’s emotions, and Jaykit is taken aback. Unlike most of the other ThunderClan cats, who Jaykit mostly feels pity from, Jaykit realizes that Lionpaw doesn’t really have any feelings towards him whatsoever. Only apathy.

So the kids are all kinda being shitty to each other and going through A TIME.

My changes here are all done in the hopes of really putting our protagonists through some tough character development, but also hopefully foreshadow their roles for the rest of the series. Each character is going through their own problems with self-worth and handling it in different ways. Jay, Lion, and Holly start off as ambitious, but loving siblings to each other but then things quickly become complicated and messy, putting a strain on their relationship as each becomes more burdened with their own problems. They forget to care about each other.

As we get to the back half of the book, Graystripe and Millie arrive. Only this time, instead of showing up during a Gathering, Graystripe and Millie show up during a border patrol Lionpaw is on. Lionpaw is the first to notice the different scent and charges in after the intruders, attacking them without hesitation, just like Tigerstar and Hawkfrost showed him how to do. Lionpaw’s clanmates are horrified he attacked Graystripe, and this begins Lionpaw’s wake-up call that he’s been too brash and big headed. He begins to realize that the other apprentices were right about him and his ego is shattered.

As ThunderClan debates on how Graystripe and Millie are going to fit back into Clan life, this parallels Hollypaw and Jaykit problems as well. Through watching Graystripe reintegrate, Hollypaw realizes that she’d be happier training as a Warrior. And when Millie becomes part of the clan, this gives Jaykit the courage he needs to tell Firestar and Leafpool that he wants to become a Medicine Cat Apprentice and he can prove he’s capable of doing it. After all, if a former kittypet can walk into camp and become a Warrior, why shouldn’t he get a chance? Though he can feel his clanmates doubt and pity him, Jaykit also feels Brightheart’s pride and confidence in him.

Jaykit’s nerves do get the best of him a few times, and he makes a few unfortunate mistakes, but overall does the job. Firestar questions how Jaykit learned all of this, and instead of outing Brightheart, he tells Firestar and Leafpool that a StarClan warrior taught him everything. This half-truth seals the deal and Jaykit finally becomes Jaypaw, Leafpool’s Apprentice.Jaypaw feels strange, unfamiliar emotions from Leafpool and Firestar is also still strangely hesitant towards Jaypaw’s apprenticeship, Jaypaw doesn’t know what to make of these emotions other than assuming that they still don’t believe he can do it. Jaypaw burns with anger and determination but tries not to let it discourage him.

As we reach the climax of this book, the clans still go through with the all day Gathering, but this time Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw are enjoying the Gathering together. Before the Gathering begins the siblings have a heart-to-heart where they each apologize for not being there for each other. For the first time, Jaypaw feels his siblings look at him with pride. He confesses that Brightheart was the one who helped him learn everything. And while Lionpaw has recovered a bit from his shame of attacking Graystripe, he’s still a bit withdrawn, but Hollypaw and Jaypaw are just happy to have gotten an apology from their meat-head brother.

Another thing to note is that throughout the book, we would still get introduced to Breezepaw and Heatherpaw. Lionpaw in particular has had a few confrontations with Breezepaw. And at the end, Breezepaw still nearly dies until Jaypaw feels his distress through his power and he, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw go save him.

The clans celebrate Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw heroics and things end on a nice little note about finding where you belong, teamwork, and communication.

Only, now we get the epilogue. Ah ha ha! That’s right. There’s no prologue to this series, only epilogues. Firestar is receiving a dream from StarClan. Instead of any particular StarClan cat visiting Firestar, he can only explore a hostile and dark forest, and the words of a thousand ancestors cry out, “Beware. Three will come, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws.” Firestar wakes up in a cold sweat as he hears commotion outside his den. We, as the readers, now realize that this took place several moons ago as Firestar sees Leafpool and Squirrelflight walk into camp with Jaykit, Hollykit, and Lionkit as newborns and Firestar looks on with uncertainty.

Okay, that was a lot of set up, and some definite changes, but I’m hoping that all of this will strengthen the narrative and characterization, AND give us some juicy foreshadowing of things to come.

#warriors #power of three rewrite #warrior cats #the sight #jayfeather #hollyleaf #lionblaze

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