#the memories that never return

[lilimonarch]

Doctor Hanahaki - The Memories that Never Return [4]

Doctor Hanahaki Prequel: Whumptober spinoff!

Whumptober day 4: "You in there?" and Lyric Prompt

~

I see the danger, it's written there in your eyes

Bokuto had recently declared his retirement because truth be told, he was getting old. Bokuto Koutarou, the star and former captain of the jackals was old, about 32, and getting slow. He couldn't jump as high, hit as hard, and run as much.

He had the discussion with the only person still in the industry, Kuroo Tetsurou. He was a few years older than Bokuto and despite their professional relationship, they had bonded really well as friends.

I think I should retire. Go out while I'm still at the top of my game, still a starter. Make it big, nobody cares if a sub is retiring.

You're one of the best players the court has ever seen, but in the end, it's your choice.

Bokuto stands on the sides of the greatest court in the world, watching the next generation of MSBY Jackals fighting for a spot in the play-offs, now 37.

Bokuto had retired, and a part of him was also sad his career ended without the one thing he truly wanted. Akaashi promised to be at his games, and it was selfish to be disappointed when he knows the other had made a career out of himself, but still. Bokuto could only watch from a distance as Akaashi surged to be one of the most famous doctors in the country. Bokuto watched his shows, watched the eyebags from restless nights grow under Akaashi's beautiful eyes, all from afar.

There was a promising next generation. In some of his last years, a new duo showed up. Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi, a setter and spiker who's skills rivaled his own. They were the perfect team, Bokuto was proud. Bokuto was-

In pain.

There was a sharp pain in his throat, as if thorns were stabbing his entire tract. He was standing on the sidelines as Miya hit a powerful spike into the opponent's territory. Kuroo was cheering from his position, his secretary taking notes as Kuroo narrated his own dialogue they would later publish for publicity purposes. "Kuroo, I'll be back-" Bokuto mumbled before immediately running out to find an empty bathroom or closet.

There was a private bathroom in the locker rooms, Bokuto running over to the toilet and heaving as petals and bile fell from his lips. Petals?

​"You're joking- no, you're kidding," Bokuto watched the petals float in the bowl as a wave of dizziness washed over him, him shaking it away as he slowly got up. "That... I-" Bokuto hated to admit it but he laughed at the reality of it.

Hanahaki.

"Hey! Bo? You in there?" It was Kuroo, knocking at the door. "They took a timeout, I figured I'd come and find you." Bokuto quickly flushed the water and any evidence of the petals before washing his hands, heading outside, eyes locking with Kuroo who eyed him in concern. "Yikes, you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost?"

Bokuto chuckled a bit, walking out onto the main stage with Kuroo. The teams were set up for another go after the timeout. "Is it obvious?"

"Yeah, it's all written in your eyes," Kuroo nodded, shooing off his secretary as he sat on the bench next to Bokuto. "But really, I've never seen you like this. Even when you fell on your ankle in your second year," they both looked back at the memories. "So... come on, Bokuto. What's wrong?"

"I was coughing petals."

"Shit... About that Akaashi guy?"

Bokuto nodded. In his eyes, fear... but peace.

#whumptober 2023 #i see the danger it's written in your eyes #no.4 #“you in there?” #fandom #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #fanfiction #doctor hanahaki prequel #the memories that never return #bokuaka #haikyuu bokuto #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu kuroo #miya atsumu #sakusa kiyoomi #hanahaki #whump #whumptober

[daeyumi]

“Remember when…”

#zelda #legend of zelda #ocarina of time #zelda ocarina of time #zelda oot #link #OoT link #ocarina of time link #zelda fanart #daeyumi art #ocarina of time fanart #something something returning to a place that holds memories but knowing that you can never return to those times #i drew this piece in 4:3 ratio to allude to a similar feeling the viewer may have about memories of older media

[bluerosefox]

Doodles I made of how I like to think Tim, Dani, and Danny look in my little prompt called The Drakes. Still debating on the hero outfits might change later but yeh

#danny phantom #my art #danny fenton #dp x dc #crossover #blue rambles #danny phantom dc #random idea #dpxdc #danielle fenton #dani fenton #dani phantom #tim drake #dani drake #danielle drake #danny drake #tim returns to his old name to give it good memories #and he knows the bats would never think to look at his old name too #danny owns a repair shop #he can fix anything that comes in #especially old timey things

[crowlore]

TriMax Volume 10 Chapter 7 and a request left behind

#posts left behind by deactivated blogs my beloved and bittersweet #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun spoilers #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash the stampede #vashwood #i love when my fav dies but gets to live on through his wishes and the memory carried by the people he loved and who loved him in return #re: my post on how trigun is all about inheritance and personhood forged by all the little ways others have touched your life #to be human is to be selfish and that isn't always bad. i am selfish. i teach you to make coffee. years later you still make it the same wa #i am selfish. i live on through you in this even if we never speak again. you have inherited me.

[fromtheseventhhell]

George did not write Arya naming babies in Winterfell and taking care of a child in the middle of a WARZONE just for y'all to say she's not going to end up with kids/family because she's "not that type of character" 😒

#arya stark #asoiaf #a character centered around family and /pack/ who spent the entire story wanting to return home to/with her family isn't #going to end up with a family of her own (outside of siblings) because she doesn't want to be a trad-wife...okay #she was 9 years old on the run and worrying about how to fix Weasel's hair can we bffr for two seconds #Weasel latching onto Arya's leg...Arya using her name as an alias in Harrenhal...that's literally mother and daughter #impact so great she has her future love interest taking care of kids in her memory when he initially wanted to leave weasel #which is funny because people always want to project onto Gendry as the /family man/ type who has to convince Arya when it's the opposite #Arya is going to have a romance and family as a non-conforming woman on her own terms and I think that's beautiful #the unfeeling detached persona y'all try to project onto her is never going to stick she literally thrives off of community #it's very obvious when you speak on a character without having read their chapters btw

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

#i live for anything that drags out the pining/pre-relationship period as long as possible okay #give me the drama of jason frustrated about constantly being manipulated by gods #in love with nico but convinced it's just cupid fucking with him and not wanting nico to get dragged into it #maybe telling nico eventually because he's having trouble hiding his feelings and he doesn't wanna hurt nico by confusing him #which is of course an emotional rollercoaster for nico #hearing jason say he's in love with him only to then immediately hear that it's just godly fuckery #nico agreeing to help jason find cupid to get it reversed because he knows how much it sucks having feelings for someone unwillingly #and he doesn't want jason stuck mooning over someone like him just because he was unkucky enough to be with nico for the cupid incident #whole quest in which nico develops feelings in return and angsts because he's sure jason only feels that way because of the arrow #maybe a slip-up in the middle somewhere with nico accidentally revealing he likes jason back before backpedaling wildly #so now jason has hope despite himself because he'd never really thought it was possible anyway given nico's feelings for percy #and he doesn't like being manipulated by gods but he doesn't mind the idea of being in love with nico #and what if he just gave up on the hunt for cupid entirely and let it happen #while nico feels guilty since clearly it's just cupid arrow magic fucking with jason and he's enabling it #and then of course when they finally find cupid he explains how his arrows work and that he can't just FORCE someone to be in love #no more than hera could with jason and piper by fucking with their memories to push them together #cupid's methods are just way more effective #my tag babble ended up longer than the actual post oh my god #pjo #jasico #my dumb headcanons

[manygreetingsfriend]

i’m sooooooo normal about the god of war series. so incredibly normal i liked it a normal amount and would be so chill talking about it. don’t worry about the sign

#god of war #i’m so so so so so normal about it it’s so whatever it’s so haha you know #something something when it comes to yourself you’ll let yourself drown before you change. you’ll die before you change who you’ve become #to survive this long #up to and until it affects the ones you’ve come to love in this life you’ve made for yourself and you suddenly have no choice but to change #it’s fine it’s ok it’s chill. everyone does this. #it’s becoming a parent and loving your child so much you HAVE to change. you HAVE to be better #we MUST be better. than they were. #who’s they. our parents. the gods that come before us. yes. #i’m screaming i’m crying i’m wasting away im disintegrating. there’s no coming back there no return #you are on your knees. you are gripping your son’s shoulders like they’re the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth. #you are struggling with who you are and who you want to become. you are promising to be better. #i’m so normal about parent(al figures) taking responsibility for their actions and choosing to do better #i’m not high enough to really express what’s going on here. can you feel it? can you fucking feel it? #this series has destroyed me. #dad of boy. dad(s) of boy. i will never be the same (affectionate) #can’t remember the last time i finished a series and went ‘oh well i’ve GOT to play it again Now That I Know’ #AND I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT THE BROTHER HULDRA!!!!!!!!! #sindri’s face. has not left my memory #i’m dying scoob #gow #gowr

[puppyeared]

Little brother

#in other words. one of the shows producers finally gave context for wukong staring at the stone #apparently he was trying to find MK by ripping thru memories but the scroll kept returning him to the same spot #so he didn’t know MK is a stone monkey either. also confirmed that MK was born from the stone BUT that doesn’t technically make Swk his dad #although bodhi does mention that MK was born from the same stone egg unless he was speaking metaphorically. or that was a translation error #idk man I’m waiting for the dub to come out. shrugs #I do like the idea of wukong being more like an older sibling to MK. even if not technically #I feel like there is dad energy there but older sibling just makes me go ‘ah yea that makes sense now’ #I do have to say I fucking hate perspective and I never want to do it again #edit: ok fuck wait I went back bodhi said he wasnt born from the same egg as Swk. but still #my art #myart #doodles #Lego monkie kid spoilers #lmk spoilers #monkie kid season 4 #monkie kid #lmk #Lego monkie kid #lmk season 4 spoilers #lmk s4 spoilers #lmk s4 #lmk sun wukong #lmk monkey king #sun wukong #lmk MK #technically #lmk xiaotian

[theyellowotter]

I used to work in a museum as a guard who mainly told people not to touch stuff and now I work in an office building wherein is a hallway of large, likely expensive paintings

So you can imagine my near aneurysm as I watched a person gush over a detail and put a flat hand about half-an-inch from the canvas. I made an actual noise that, if I didn't cover it with a throat-clearing cough, probably would have turned into EXCUSE ME PLEASE DO NOT PUT YOUR HANDS SO CLOSE TO THE ART

#brings back memories lol #and then I forgot about not looking at the sun directly #and even though I only looked for about five seconds with the glasses #I'm having a silent anxiety attack in the breakroom #as I wait for my eyesight to leave me and never return #(I'm not actually losing my sight but my anxiety doesn't know that) #oh god someone is just full-on staring #well now I feel better #art museum #museum officer

[lilimonarch]

Doctor Hanahaki - The Memories that Never Return [8]

Doctor Hanahaki Prequel: Whumptober spinoff!

Whumptober day 8: Overcrowded ER, Lyric Prompt.

~

I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Bokuto knew something was wrong the second Akaashi stepped into the clubroom.

A mask over his face, his cheeks flushed with the same fever he saw him with a year ago, horrid eyebags highlighting his exhaustion, Bokuto knew something was wrong deep down. Despite these thoughts, Bokuto did not say anything. If Akaashi was on the court, he was fine. Akaashi was smart, he wouldn't head to practice if he knew he was unwell, and everything would be fine.

When Akaashi reached out to him, sputtering bloody petals from his mouth until he collapsed into Bokuto's arms, all he could do was panic. Akaashi was wheezing, shaking, and Bokuto was terrified to leave him alone. When his coach said to let Akaashi go, he didn't. When Konoha said to breathe and let coach take Akaashi to the hospital in the ambulance alone, accept that he wouldn't.

It was Bokuto's first time in the ER as a teenager, and here he was holding Akaashi's hand until the doctors said he couldn't.

Anxiety was creeping through, his hairs sticking on end as another gurney rammed through the halls, another alarm going off as people bloodied and bruised lay unconscious, being rushed in. Children throwing up into bins, people wearing surgical masks to prevent the spread of disease, every seat in the waiting room was taken.

The flicker of the lights burned into his brain, Bokuto losing himself until his coach laid a hand on the player's shoulder. "It's not always like this, they must be busy. You can go home if you'd like."

Bokuto immediately shook his head. "No," he declared, clenching his fists as people came and went. The noise was too loud, the panic too strong, but he had to be there, for Akaashi's sake. "I'll stay, it'll be fine." It was almost pathetic, seeing someone of Bokuto's caliber so afraid. "Besides, he needs me when he wakes up. I know he will."

Soon enough, Ms. Akaashi showed up, showering Bokuto with hugs and asking about her child, the two comforting each other, the only silence in the overstuffed ER.

Bokuto promised to stay by Akaashi's side, but the one time he broke his promise, Akaashi slipped away for good.

#whumptober 2023 #I've got soul but I'm not a soldier #no.8 #overcrowded er #fandom #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #fanfiction #doctor hanahaki prequel #the memories that never return #bokuaka #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu akaashi #akaashi keiji #bokuto koutarou #hanahaki #hospital #whumptober

[worldsewage]

"much to Valentine’s dismay." oohhg can I know more...I got a bowl of rice to offer

Valentine is an Octarian elite who has no interest in abandoning her role as such, she is undyingly loyal to the Octarian Army and excelled in military school and was placed in a school designed for elites, she was constructing weapons for as long as she can remember and has ZERO thoughts of ever abandoning the domes. She has made something of herself here and she has issues with communication and comes off blunt and aggressive at times so she struggles keeping/making friends, so the approval of her superiors and the trust the army puts in her is a love good enough for her.

Until Satua, at least.

Valentine, also, has no idea how they found themself in the metro, she woke up with a sense of urgency and a few strange blank memories that made her piece together— with Craig telling her he needs help— that she (probably) needs to act, and help the people around her in order to save something. She has no idea what, and has a building frustration inside her that she can’t name. She thinks she’s doing something bigger than herself. She acts, for a moment, as a hero— an agent 8 in the metro, she plays into this role and feels angry and needed and vital, then more of her memories come back and she gets hit with the Guilt… feeling like a bystander who is trapped inside their own body, watching themselves do and say things they can’t control as her memories idly return, clueing her into the person she is, or was.

#they’re just a little freaking guy… is what I’m getting at… #they never do remember how they arrived in the metro #but they keep seeing themself cold. uninterested and so much better than everyone else. they always look lonely. #I think when their memories return they have trouble sorting them… trouble figuring out a timeline. but they FEEL #what they FELT #yet- despite that— still feel a lack of vindication in their actions . she’s just sort of ashamed #they feel cheated by the NSS for forcing a dazed elite to do the work of the Inklings. and they hate the Octarian #army for making her the person she keeps seeing in her memories #and she hates the NSS for being the NSS and she hates that the Octarian army sees her as a deserter and #she hates life outside of the domes where she has no plan or direction #she thinks the feeling of sunlight on her skin is burning. #she’s in a cycle of feeling bad for herself and that it was out of her control. she is the same person. she keeps doing it. the cyclerepeat #s #asks #homerun au #valentine (agent 8) #and she hates satua for her grandiose dreams of seeing the sky and starting a life outside the domes. she hates her for trying to desert #Valentine isn’t the type to survive alone. Valentine is NOT the type to SURVIVE ALONE!

[blinkpen]

so, now that shit's deteriorating further, probably from even more constant stress, that i'm officially in the"i just leave my body without my say so and stop moving and don't realize this has happened full blown catatonia style" and "pockets of missing time" stage, which, by the way, is fucking scary as shit to Live in that reality, maybe my doctor can finally convince the insurance company i'm worthy of a fresh MRI/brain scan to survey just how much brain damage pre-existing schizophrenia multiplied by a long covid-caused seizure is going on at this point.

regardless if if there's anything we can really DO about it? but. yanno. it'd be nice. if nothing else, i can enrich the data for all the long term consequences of this vile cesspit of country not giving a shit about anything but money and eugenics

#sporadic warbling #i just hope it doesnt progress further or get much worse than this #its hard to convey online what my current reality really is like and i kind of do not want to anyway #i wish could fly away and never return #actually i wish my family could wake up and change for the better so i wouldnt have to want escape that would actually be my wish but #hm. crying now. #i am thankful that the spaces of time im apparently doing things around the house im basically just engaging in Normal Behavior #usually doing chores? on total autopilot? or preparing food and then just leaving it behind #i just. have no memory of it. at all #that's so scary. #and it makes me feel very vulnerable around people i do not reliably feel existentially safe around and with good reason

[nativehueofresolution]

for me personally i kind of like the idea that the only time louis and daniel before now was the night of the original interview.

to me the interesting thing about their dynamic (and part of what makes it romantic) is the weird way you can confide in a stranger things you can't tell people who are actually a part of your life - like the contrast between this person not knowing you and all yet somehow you're telling them your darkest secrets, and they're seeing through your bullshit in a way people who know you don't (or maybe do but won't vocalize). and yeah it's a combination of chance and luck, but there's also a genuine connection that makes this stranger the one you choose to talk to out all the other strangers you come across.

and the idea that maybe that moment, that bond, could be so strong it could pick right up many decades later compels me. there's an intimacy to like, a past relationship, obviously, but i think there's also an intimacy that comes from knowing 'i only spoke to this person once but i never stopped thinking about them and maybe they never stopped thinking about me?' but you hooked up once or only had one conversation and you talk yourself down say be realistic because it was so brief and so long ago you, how could you not be blowing this out of proportion, but then you meet again and it hits you all over again like a ton of bricks.

#kaitlin speaks #i love eternal sunshine type plots so i get the appeal #but to me the appeal of that is like a story about how you can't take back intimacy #and no matter how many times you leave it's never going to change the way being there shaped you. #but to me d/l is like... the way your mind returns to someone you never got to be with #and the mixture of longing and like wondering if you're just romanticizing bc it didn't happen and ships in the night of it all #so all that to say i am open to whatever (bc tbh i do think there is some daniel memory plot line and in a lot of ways that's exciting) #but i actually think there's something special about the idea of their one night maybe being it and yet still impacting him so deeply #and if/when that element goes i'll miss it. i'm only this sappy about fiction i swear lol #their dynamic is like inverse of le/a where they have this connection and they hate it but also play it up and define themselves by it #but d/l they're in denial and don't want to admit their experience was as intense as it was #iwtv #danlou #this might only make sense to me lol

[phoenixcatch7]

Remembering my first time playing oot as a kid and hearing about the heroes of legend, those who had used the master sword before. And because I wasn't part of the larger community, no internet etc, I didn't know I was supposed to think of the other zelda games.

My theory was that every zelda game took place simultaneously across an infinite sea of parallel worlds, and each link could reach out and witness the other adventures alongside their own. I thought of them as different facets of the same soul, which turned out to be true enough, I suppose XD.

But I also thought the master sword was too simple a name and design, too overarching to not, similarly, be a culmination of different aspects, referencing different swords from real world myth and legend.

I remember I believed past heroes referred to people like King Authur, like Odin, like Hercules and Theseus and Achillies, like legendary samurai and kings under hills and travelling swordsmen and ladies lost to time.

And now, this small child, this little backwater kid my age was going to take up that mantle, join the ranks of heroes unsung, perform great feats in forgotten temples and save the suffering kingdom, here and gone, to slip back to home and safety upon journey's end, the kid with a hero's story and a precious, gleeful secret. That was how a lot of stories go, when they're targeted at little kids. Save the fairy kingdom from the bad pixie and run back to your parents before they wonder too long where you've been.

The direction Nintendo ended up going with making a canon timeline and destroying the mystery of how it all began (tho SS is amazing) takes a lot of the fable, the secrecy, the hushed gleam in the eye of it. But I still love it. For older players, it's another turn of the cycle, the new and old mixing into something unrecognisable and yet so familiar.

For new players, for children, the creator truly captured that feeling of stepping into another world behind your own, shifting ivy aside with your dirt scuffed hand, the feeling of wonder welling up inside as you step into the sunbeams of a brand new horizon where everything they told you about magic is true. The feeling of becoming something greater than the sum of your parts, of hearing a thousand silent voices at your back, of meeting equal with the legend, of being good for the sake of it and being rewarded with making a thousand memories, a thousand experiences beyond your wildest dreams.

Of, at the end of it all, being rewarded with the privacy and peace you really wanted, not being forced to perform nice for rude adults and go on stage to accept your little trophies. Something to cradle in your heart and smile secretive smiles, to be true to yourself, to always have that little something extra, something adults will never notice but you know. You know, and you will never breathe a word of that beautiful, magical world, because it's just. For. You.

I suppose that's always why I've liked the epilogue of a zelda game, the Links all choosing to close the loop, to return the master sword and return to their peaceful lives. To fulfil your purpose. To become everything they said you'd be and more. To go home, and your enemies don't follow.

The adults doubt your magic, but you don't. Not anymore.

#legend of zelda #loz #tloz #the legend of zelda #loz link #link loz #Loz timeline #ocarina of time #loz oot #long post #Oot was a formative memory and not just for the terrifying flesh zombie monsters #I don't know. I guess there's just something about the fact that link is always able to return to secrecy and they always choose it. #Even in totk link was utterly unrecognisable except to his close friends and he never made any attempt to change that. #I guess that's a part of the mythos. Link isn't stuck in his role. He chooses it. He isn't forced into anything because of his journey. #He never loses his free will. He could be anyone. There's a sort of empathy in that. A sort of unruffled self confidence. #It's total freedom. Even if his home is changed or destroyed. He's only grown. A thousand people will help him. He's not alone anymore. #Is it any wonder it's a kid's greatest fantasy?

[xfatalfairytale]

#hayley and elijah deserved better #hayley deserved a better ending #I'll never forgive Julie Plec for what she did to those two #the sound elijah makes when his memory returns and he realizes who hayley is and it's too late u g h #heartbreaking 💔 #the originals #hayley marshall #elijah mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #hayley x elijah #elijah x hayley #I'll die on that hill

[thatswhatsushesaid]

i love watching people experience the suffering of finishing fool’s fate for the first or second time

because having read the tawny man trilogy as it was being published in the early 2000s, i can’t wait for newer RotE fans to realize that no, they won’t ever recover from that ending, it is going to haunt their waking hours for the next two decades, at minimum

welcome to hell!! your brain chemistry has been changed forever!!

#realm of the elderlings #robin hobb #the tawny man trilogy #fitzchivalry farseer #the fool #‘my dream lay dead in my arms’ (: #‘i have never been wise’ (: (: (: #the return of fitz’s memories (: (: (: (: