#the feelings were real

[pinotorto]

Let's all say "thank you, sir" to Nobuhiko Okamoto for his superb interpretation of Bakugo in today's episode.

Bonus pic:

#the feelings were real #mha spoilers #bakugo katsuki #nobuhiko obayashi #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #mha s6

[abisalli]

close one Marcille

#farcille #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #marcille donato #falin touden #my art #digital art #just finished reading the manga and am full of feelings so wanted to draw something silly #i love lesbians... I wish they were real..

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#selfie bee #hello friends!! how are you doing!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ #I'm very very tired today #I woke up very early today because I took a driving lesson! #I have had my licence for many many years now but I haven't driven in so long #and when I tried I just turned on the windshield wipers again and again #so I'm taking some refreshment lessons! I was really afraid of driving again but my new driving teacher is very nice (❁´‿`❁) #my last one scared me a little because he talked a lot about bathroom renovation #I just drove for an hour or so but I was so concentrated that I'm very tired now #I have another lesson tomorrow because I deleted every information in my brain about how to park a car #all those synapses are currently used to remember Godzilla facts #another big news!! #I saw a PHEASANT last week #we almost hit it with the car but luckly it remembered in time that it was a bird and flew away #I've NEVER seen a pheasant before!! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I knew that pheasants were real because my favourite cartoon as a child was animals of farthing wood #and there's pheasants in it and then they get murdered and all the other animals are like 'oh well' #but I had never seen one! #I feel like a stronger person now #one that can drive a car #maybe even park one ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #have a wonderful evening friends #<3

[elixyzlio]

When I show up to the biggest Hannigram shipper competition but Mads Mikkelsen is already there:

#hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #mads mikkelsen #so silly #i love this show #thinking about the one clip where Hugh says its a platontic love and Mads gives him a LOOK #feeling silly #i wish gay people were real #im so original #and funny

[yrsonpurpose]

“C’mere,” he says, surging up to kiss Alex, and he’s putting his whole body into it now, sliding his hands down to palm at Alex’s ass as he kisses him. Alex feels a sound tear itself from his throat, and he’s following Henry’s lead blindly now, kissing him deep into the mattress, riding a continuous wave of Henry’s body.

#rwrb #rwrbedit #red white and royal blue #firstprince #alex x henry #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #userninz #userveronika #usersteen #usernuria #chrissiewatts #usermaloune #mine* #have we done this angle/rotation yet? probably by this point #but what is one more among friends #anyway i was in the middle of another set & got *waves hands* distracted #i sometimes wonder if the teeth were intentional but bc its literally canon i think who even cares #its henry chasing alex in the last gif for me #once matthew said this was henrys first time with someone he had real feelings for... i was Changed #like you could probably work that out by yourself but KNOWING it for sure hm. makes the campfire and lake sequence a lot heavier #'casual' okay. you're a lying liar who lies.

[dykefaggotry]

that one poll about if you'd be friends w someone who cheated and the comments/tags were an all out blood bath got me thinking so

#infidelity tw #cheating tw #I'm curious bc a lot of ppl on that poll were Very very heated one way or the other #and I'm wondering how that applies to fiction #I myself don't seek it out but I don't mind it and sometimes it can be compelling in a story #it adds some Flavor and it's not like these characters are real yk? #but I get the feeling some people avoid it in a way they might avoid like. dead dove shit

[weaselmcdiesel]

Hiking with the matesprit

(this was hugely inspired by @/erysium and their gorgeous natural scenes! particularly, this post)

#my art #art #homestuck #fan art #karkat #karkat vantas #nepeta #nepeta leijon #wow. ive. never done a piece like this. at all. wow. #also i feel like it's incredibly easier to color alternia since all the colors are nonsense #i imagine if i had to paint a real life place itd be harder and also wouldnt look as good #this is once again in an au where alternia is cool n fashionable and karkat goes outside #this is my application to work for the hiveswap team <im lying #also i wish there were more resources on the flora of alteria. like serious id love to know what their nature looks like #ofc it's not explicitly katnep but 2 me it is. they r dating always #fun fact if you invert the colors on this the forest turns lovely and green #also karkats about to totally skewer his hand on that tree yeah

[skunkes]

all of february's chibis ^_^

#well almost all there were sum private ones.... #dude i took so many to make some extra money for my special month and like. idk #i got em all done and therefore i SHOULD be taking this many monthly but idkkkk </3 LOL #i feel so lazy abt not always taking this many...like dude a real job wld be much harder than drawing MAYBE 2 pictures a day. but augh #comms #a doodley #anyway....! opening for more comms later today....! + then ill have the amt taxes are gonna take from me....yaaaaay....

[lucabyte]

Comfortable in New Skin

#wanted to give loop some like... vague clothes. since while they dont Need to be covered... accessorising is a human right #and boy do they need some of those. one can assume the only place theyd be getting clothes is isa though. so. ponder it #in stars and time #isat fanart #isat spoilers #isat loop #loop isat #isat #lucabyteart #SPOILERS TAG BECAUSE UM. CAPTION IS UNNEGOTIABLE. SOZ #anyway i do have Even More doodles on the way. primarily about loop. predictable. a lot of thoughts on the body horror of it all. #if you were to ask me. i think loops quote unquote skin is uncannily loose when pushed or pulled in any way #almost as if it were clothes covering the skin rather than skin itself. probably feels fuzzy and vague too. as for their head? #non-solid but in the way where theres a force pushing outwards. radiating you could say. yknow. vague. undefined. not quite real #but thats just my headcanon. tee hee

[martyryo]

Need to draw them being stupid at least once a month

#artists on tumblr #digital art #illustration #pixel aesthetic #fight club #fight club 1999 #the narrator fight club #tyler durden #soapshipping #I just wanted to put them in stupid outfits #tyler chose both of them honestly #love them when they're idiots #I wish girls were real #feeling like those cats whenever I drink water #I literally visualize fresh water source on top of mountains with fish swimming and lot of sun #the dehydrated experience #the kaczynski crop trop stays on during sex

[sesamenom]

Gil-galad Variations, featuring all the gil galad theories i've encountered.

#silm #silmarillion #gil galad #gil galad son of plothole #<- best tag lol #personally i like the maglor theory #son of lalwen is probably my second favorite? #also that would make him the 16th known finwean grandkid #the aegnor/andreth peredhel variant is interesting #also i feel like when everyone meets him in valinor/the halls finrod would just look at aegnor like :/ #finrod: 'if you were just going to ignroe my whole speech you could have at least told me so i could get birthday gifts for the kid!' #the russingon one looks very much like nerdanel lol #both the maedhros ones' hair is *just* dark enough to not cause a diplomatic incident #the elured/elurin one is really funny #like. hes 0% noldor not even related to finwe at all. like. theyre descended from different cuvienen families. they literally are 0% relate #he was raised by cirdan who is also 0% noldor #but he is somehow a better king of the noldor than like 90% of the previous ones #even funnier if hes Just A Guy #did they accidentally switch the real finwean baby? did they just grab a random kid and go 'oh well close enough'? who knows? #i think princess-faelivrin has a FAQ about the leading version of fin-galad (gil galad being finduilas)

[mx-misty-eyed]

I really hope mcr5 gets released with no previous warning just like foundations. Imagine how fucking funny it would be to wake up and look at your phone to see the album you've waited 10 fucking years for just randomly dropped

#its the only thing that could beat the excitement of foundations #i feel like every mcr fan remembers where they were when foundations dropped #i was chilling with my new friend on a beanbag in class when i got a notification from yt #i literally jumped up and my hands were genuinely shaking and i was like #bro... #bro i think mcr released a new song #anyway #MCR5 IS REAL #mcr5 #my chem #my chemical romance

[pictureday2005]

DONT REPOST THIS thanks

#home #mine #turning reblogs off and taking it out of tags for a while #i might just delete it #it feels fucking dehumanizing none of you were here nobody knows what happened in these walls #even the people who live there now who probably trashed the place #neither did the people who took that grand piano out in pieces #none of you will ever understand how much i lost when they took me from here #that little girl is dead shes fucking dead and im living in some cruel imitation of her #and every time ive tried to kill myself its been so i could go home again #but i cant ill nevet go home shell never go home home isnt real anymore #r

[god-of-this-new-blog]

What if the two worst guys in the whole world were madly in love with each other?

#ANOTHER ONE #(in that annoying meme voice) #hold on real tags ugh #death note #lawlight #light yagami #l lawliet #my art #l x light #light x l #anyway drew this while listening to my Halsey playlist from middle school #I love turning 13 again it feels great #ALSO colors by Halsey is so lawlight and NONE OF YOU are talking about it #like come onnnnn its soooo red and blue #AND NOW YOURE TEARING THROUGH THE PAGES AND THE INK? guys. its so good #also L smokes. soooooo that is ALSO in the song #get on my pre teen Halsey wave length please #I WAS RED AND YOU WERE BLUE COMEONNNNNN #okay sorry im listening to it while tagging whoops #also I literally did this sketch and rendered it from scratch THREE TIMES #it just wasn’t doing what I wanted. #even now im honestly not thrilled with soooo many parts I could write an essay #but I am giving up. #this is what giving up looks like xoxo

[toffeecoco1]

Thinking about sqx living his mortal life, noticing odd things. Little things at first: he’ll be searching for some belonging of his, and then it will suddenly appear within grasp—somewhere he’s sure he’s already checked.

Sometimes he’ll cook food, and swear he left a bowl’s worth in the pot. But when he returns to pour it for himself, the pot is mysteriously empty. Often when this happens, something good will happen the next day. He’ll find a gold piece on the ground somewhere, or something he’s been looking for will show up at a nearby market stall for cheap. Or perhaps he’ll come across some lovely little trinket that seems to belong to no one, and he finds himself pocketing it, too enamoured with it to pawn.

One evening, his crutch breaks. It’s late, so there’s not much he can do about it until the morning. He sighs and sets it aside, before going to bed. When he wakes up, the crutch beside him is completely repaired—as if it never broke at all.

He asks the others about this, and they laugh it off. It’s not the first time he’s rambled about strange occurrences.

“Maybe you’re haunted!” One of them jokes off-handedly.

“Yeah! By a hungry ghost, perhaps,” someone else adds.

Shi Qingxuan freezes, his mind starts turning, and his heart begins to pound. “…Haunted?”

~

From then on, whenever he cooks for himself, he places a second bowl across from him. It doesn’t always work at first, but eventually, the bowl will empty itself every time without fail.

Perhaps some day, his hungry ghost will reveal itself.

#beefleaf #tgcf #shi qingxuan #he xuan #obsessed with he xuan feeling guilty. wanting to help sqx but refusing to reveal himself #because they were friends! that was real! #so he does little things for him #and sometimes accidentally eats his food #but always feels guilty for that and tries to pay it back