#the best time period of my life

[stuckinapril]

i think i officially set my sights on a therapist and i'll be contacting her very soon?? therapy was legitimately not on my 2024 bingo card (or in the cards for me at all) but here we are????

#this blog always had a focus on social science and detangling feelings and experiences. like it's basically been serving as my diary #bc this blog has always been my main outlet for it. i hate talking feelings to anyone irl. it's a bad habit but i hate it #so it was a game changer and helped me grow up sooo much. esp supplemented w other people's experiences. #being raised by a stoic engineer mother who's very much warm but also not very good at feelings at times has caused me to suppress SO much #compounded w being the eldest daughter. like that is a damning sentence in and of itself #tumblr just gave me an outlet for stuff like this. and every social media is essentially a highlight reel of ppl's best moments. #tumblr is the opposite. i've always loved that too whether it was in the form of humor or more earnest posts #could i work through my own issues by myself? yes probably #and my blog will always have that facet even if i get a therapist #but a therapist's input. just a professional's input. will expedite a lot of improvement for me i think #this has been a critical time period for me anyway bc i'm budgeting my whole schedule for once vs being handheld by uni deadlines #and it's just gonna keep getting more and more intense from here bc i'm truly pushing my comfort zone more than ever before #it just feels like the right call even tho i'm lowkey nervous ab it bc i HATE talking feelings in person. #this therapist will not fall for my trying to deflect by asking her about her life. which. usually works on my friends <3 #we will see. a therapy arc is coming very soon basically #p

[starbuck]

my relationship with the mountain goats album i've been listening to for three and a half months straight is on a level you could never understand

#this is about Protein Source of the Future...Now! please do not derail #once and awhile i switch it out for a different CD but i can only listen to anything else two times through at most #and then it's back to the good old standard #the songs are just so... comfy???? #and almost every one is massively emotionally satisfying over and over #although the funny thing is that even now i could probably only confidently name around half of them? #75% at best #bc my car's CD player doesn't know how to properly read the CD #so the songs are just listed as numbered tracks #but yeah this album and i have been through some SHIT #it has gotten me through such a stressful period in my life and continues to do so #and i am so so grateful #probably not the typical mountain goats album one would say that about but oh well! #the mountain goats #tmg

[technicalknockout]

HEY! I FOUND OK KO CRUMBS!!

I was gonna make a post about it but I cba but still wanted to share it!

So I found Iggy Craig's (one of the storyboard artists for the show) portfolio website, can't really remember how, I go on weird tangents with Google searches sometimes, and it has loads of storyboards and design work of theirs on there. It's really cool early pre-production stuff really appeals to me.

There's a lot of this stuff for the Fionna and Cake episodes and Distant Lands, and OK KO! A lot of the storyboards to look through.

I've seen some animatics for episodes before but the boards here are the much earlier versions of the episodes, and some bits are different and it's really interesting and cool. Especially since I've got lines of the episodes memorised so it's cool to spot the differences.

I haven't looked at everything yet, I don't have the time haha but I looked at the boards for Let's Fight To The End, and there's quite a big difference!

The storyboards detail a longer scene of K.O. being stuck in the subconscious at the start of the episode. I took a couple screenshots.

I really like it. I'm guessing the main reason it was cut was for time. How it was handled in the episode was just a quick version of this.

Also here's a link to the boards Tumblr says the link isn't "complete" so sorry if it doesn't work or doesn't show up just search up Iggy Craig and find their page.

There's also this site called Slideshare.Net which I think all of these boards are being uploaded from, and on that site there's also boards from Ryann Shannon and Danny Ducker. There's the boards from LFTTE where TKO disempowers everyone and they disintegrate instead of lay on the ground. (As well as other episode stuff too)

I don't know how interesting all this really is to people and if it isn't I apologize haha. I just have a fascination with storyboards and animatics for cartoons and paired with OK KO I love it even more.

OH MY GOD THANK YOUUUUU I love these kinds of stuff so much you have no idea how hard im screaming rn.. new ok ko boards auhgjfkgnfjfksnd

Theres something so appealing about storyboards.. I like animated stuff but storyboards!! They're a whole thing!! It's like im looking at the building blocks of an episode!!! Cut storyboards feel like another universe's version of it where different writing decisions were made (imagining lftte as a 40 minute special rn) and spotting lines or scenes that didn't make it into the final product is really interesting. Plus looking at storyboards makes me feel like im a little gremlin digging thru someone's treasure pile and indeed i do giggle annoyingly when i find them

Anyways thanks again for sending me these !!!! youve extended my lifespan by approximately a thousand years

+ no joke i have literally been looking EVERYWHERE for the tko actually murders everyone boards since they mentioned it in the twitter ama. I am eternally in your debt

#time to freak out in the tags #STORYBOARDS!!2!2!! AUJSBDKDNNFKSK #the lines are. the lines are too crunchy. theyre too perfect for this world #someone get me my chair i need to faint #wow i was NOT expecting this right after school #see this is what life is for everyone #new ok ko boards!!! #with tko in it !!!!!!! #<<<<<<<<< #gdnnfndkdknfkksndkdk #best day of 2023 period #oh my god i need to check that website right now #im not sleeping tonight #asks #save tag #storyboard ko is so SMOL AAAAAAAHHGHBHBJJM

[orcelito]

I was so very responsible and good today. Did a LOT of cleaning around my apartment (holy shit, the living room is so clean) with the help of my girlfriend. A necessity, bc im gonna have a fuckton more furniture in here on Saturday. Did some general thinking about setup, and I think I can fit Most of it in here. Still have more to do, but big things were done today.

And THEN... I went and met some of my girlfriend's friends 🥺🥺🥺 which was kind of a lot bc I am Not Good In Groups but I went there and I tried to be social. Kind of was very quiet. But I was there!!! I talked a little bit!!!! And hopefully in time I will be. Eased into it. A bit more. I Will Try.

Thinking about doing a bit more work on my apartment. I wanna finalize the setup. Very badly. Tho that requires moving some furniture, too...... and I still have 2 more days I can use to prep.... so I probably Shouldn't.

OH! my bike tire is fucking flat. Idk how it happened but there's a hole in the inner tube. Idfk. But instead of bringing it to the shop (my knee-jerk reaction), I bought some new inner tubes and I'm gonna change the damn tube by myself. Bc I can do that!!!!! Especially bc it's the front wheel lol (back wheel is harder to take out bc of all the gears). I've installed a new wheel by myself before, so changing the inner tube should be no big deal. The things r supposed to be here tomorrow (I bought 2 bc it was a pack & so I could have a spare), so I'll hopefully be able to do that & Have My Wheels again.

And yeah. That's what I've been up to today.

#speculation nation #me disappearing for extended periods of time like It's okay guys!!! i just kind of have a social life now. wow. #Trying My Best.............

[rowanthestrange]

You ever heard of ‘second childing’? That thing where for your first child you read all the books, you hyperfocus on every little thing, plan out their life and time, and rush them to the doctor if they hiccup; but for your second child you just watch casually as Jessica ricochets off the coffee table and you’re like…‘eh, they’re fine’.

Second Childing this puppy hard. Are we fully puppy proofed? Beh, it’s safe. Sure the ground level food cabinet door hasn’t been reattached yet and we’re gonna see him wander in with a packet of instant noodles at some point, but whatever.

#admittedly it was a much more stressful life period #when i got brigsy #and he /had/ to be well behaved #for his own safety as well as the disabled people around him #(doberman-cross not a dog that can risk getting in trouble) #and now i’ve got a co-parent #disposable income #emergency resources and people if needed #so that probably helps lower the stakes a lot #but it’s funny the amount i have a wibble of panic #then immediately my brain goes #‘it’ll be fine’ #which is all probably good #this is all probably experience #and positive situations driving it #but it’s so funny to get #an emergency puppy #zero planning it just happens within days #like not knowing you’re pregnant til you’re in labour #no time to plan out the best #it’s just happening #and you’re gonna roll with it #…less than an hour to go #gimme the pupper #tie me to the rocket and fire me at the shelter i’m ready

[blue-nebraska]

Day thirty-one: Laura Palmer

Laura! Without her there would be no story, but who was she? I couldn’t think of what to draw for this, because her character is (of course) only represented in the show through others, remembering her more for what they wanted her to be than how she truly was. It may sound silly because she’s just a fictional character, but I wanted to draw something that felt true to her, rather than one of the empty tropes she embodies (prom queen/dead girl/doppelganger). I was working on previous prompts and watching the first episode of season two, where the Palmers, the Haywards, and Maddy are having their dinner party. Harriet read the poem she wrote about Laura and it struck me as being so authentic, and so unlike any other characters’ tribute to her, that I decided to use that as my foundation. I am really happy with this, I feel like I’ve done right by Laura which is what I set out to do with this last drawing.

ID: A black and white drawing. In the right is Laura Palmer, wearing a skirt and a sweater with her back towards us, looking over her shoulder. There is a white glow around her figure. Beyond her is a dark forest with trees white trees and branches that fold over her. To the left is the text from the poem by Harriet Hayward.

#im sorry im talking about laura like shes real okay i just have FEELINGS #also i didnt put this in the caption cause im not trying to make my post three feet long BUT i think what is special about harriet's poem #is that its one of the few things about laura that doesnt sexualize her or emphasize what laura was doing for her #which is what i hate about every man in twin peaks that had to do with her #did you kill her? no i... i loved her *ben horne looking at a FRAMED PHOTO of laura he has on his desk at WORK?? what a freak #and jacoby with all his 'bobby and leo were boys.. laura was a WOMAN!' LAURA WAS A 17 YEAR OLD HIGH SCHOOL GIRL!!!!! #but harriet remembers her as her sisters best friend. she probably tried to join in on their sleepovers #she probably remembers laura at their supper table once a week for her whole life #running into her in the bathroom and laura giving her a pad when shes getting her period for the first time #AUGGH #okay im done #twin peaks #twin peaks art #laura palmer #sheryl lee #inktober #fanart #described #tp

[bogunicorn]

In less than 6 months, I went from having three cats to only having one.

I want to go back to this time last year, when none of them were sick, let alone gone.

#bog post #cw pet loss #I've been in a depressive haze all week #then i went to shower and the water wouldn't get hot #my apartment is far too quiet #despite misha's best efforts (i.e. periodic screaming) #i want a kitten so much #but we can't afford the $400 adoption fee from our local shelter #so we'll save up for that #i just want a little bundle of baby that wants my attention all the time #going from 3 pushy social super friendly cats to just one is... #i feel so lonely #there are not enough little creatures making my life more complicated

[kyouka-supremacy]

Not to say one can't consume media they don't 100% agree with (I do the same so like), but you talk a lot about how the core views of TPN vs BSD change your entire way of enjoying these two, and I was wondering what drew you in into BSD if there are so many aspects of it you disagree with?

(Not meant as an attack or as a questioning of you enjoying it, I always am interested in your analysis so this is just out of curiosity, and also I am planning to pick up TPN again sometime this year)

#I've probably already mentioned it somewhere but this was the exact picture that made me start liking sskk wwwwww #And by extension made me stick around bsd #That said do I really talk a lot about t/pn???? To think I was doing my best to keep it at minimum‚ sorry‚ I sincerely didn't realize 😭😭😭 #In the end sskk is just a ship I particularly enjoy consuming (and producing I guess) content of in this particular period of my life- #about that I know for sure I would definitely have hated the pairing when I was 14-18 ahah. #And tbh I hope next I'll hyperfixate on healthier ships #But I just. at this time of my life I find the idea of someone loving you despite you not being a good person strangely comforting. #The idea that even the most evil of people can be loved is oddly reassuring #Besides I like the fandom! I mean‚ in the perfect world at this point I would still be in the p/p fandom... But my p/p hyperfixation ended– #up burning out sooner than how it would have done organically because the fandom was nearly non existent and the canon content was– #untranslated and extremely difficult to access. With bsd the monthly chapters release is ideal in the way it’s both a constant influx of– #new content without it being overwhelming. And it's enjoyable to be part of an active fanbase! #I like receiving asks. And celebrating character birthdays together. #sskk #people asks me stuff #That being said please read t/pn if you can!!!! It's really a fabulous story with incredibly insightful themes. #But also remember not to watch the anime since it's not a good adaptation!!!!!!! #As for the physical reason why I got into bsd: it was to impress a girl. duh

[silentchamp]

.

#>ooc. #// vent-ish #[[just found out my paper is probably going to get a 0 because i didnt use the sources i was supposed to. its a 1.5k long paper. i have a 3 #day work weekend and its due on the 12th. i dont have time to fix everything #so ij ust sucked it up and submitted it. part ofm e says 'you should drop out' but its too late #i was going to write but i read the requirements and it just. sucked the life out of me #so im going to go to bed #take a melatonin maybe. id like to vent about this to my friendgroup but they arent college students and arent receptive when i complain #about school so i thought it was just best to put this here instead. i dont want to do this anymore im tired #who am i kidding they arent receptive when i complain or vent period #do i need new friends #i dont know #delete later #im sorry. i just needed to put this somwehere

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #WAITING FOR MY SHTTY LITTLE PIRATED TEXTBOOK PDF TO LOAD~!! -_- #everytime i look at it the estimated time goes up so im just not gonna look at it anymore #anyway yall im taking an asl class and im very nervous!! its an immersive class where we dont have an interpreter. we just sign. #im not very good at memorization or paying attention but i'll try my best? rughgh :'> im excited to learn though;; #okay!! its finally done only took AN HOUR. okay goodnight yall! school tomorrow; see you later; i love you!!

[mxwhore]

patron saint of being hot

and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot

ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)

ask gamerino

#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher #on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out #in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites #if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports #i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her #i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish #even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note #i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated #that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day #it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE #when i get a text #it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes #he was going to commit suicide #i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage #i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school #i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just #sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test #the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time #i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself #some other classmates came concerned and tried to help #then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged #she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test #i said no and she left and i kept crying #when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that #she simply didnt care #i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care #but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care #that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse #my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again #thats the story! not gonna tag this babes

[hylianengineer]

Okay wow Italian pizza is NOT GOOD! I guess it could just be this one specific restaurant but it was so awful I'm not gonna risk trying again.

Steamed broccoli and sausage. Steamed TOGETHER so the broccoli TASTED LIKE SAUSAGE. I love broccoli. I like sausage when it is cooked in other ways. I could not eat this and the attempt made me nauseous.

It was a flashback on a plate - long story involving a highly restricted diet due to suspected food allergies (paranoia) and a very short list of safe foods which included plain meat, plain vegetables, and buckwheat. To this day I won't eat plain buckwheat anymore. But one of the things I ate a lot back then was plain ground venison and broccoli, and the visual similarity between that and this pizza, on top of generally being overwhelmed and stressed, knocked me on my ass today.

#yeah i have weird food trauma that comes out at weird times #it's not usually an issue but it is there #i try not to think about that period of my life too much cause it sucked and makes me sad #and a lot of it was my mom's fault for projecting her own trauma onto me and i know she was doing her best but it fucked me up #food tw #food issues #tw disordered eating #trauma tw #tmi #vent post

[aeterna---amantes]

|| The feeling of being able to post 💙Connor💙 and not feeling guilty about it oh my fucking gods I'll only look at the bright side of this situation like thank fuck i am allowed to feel happy

HHHHIIIIIIIMMMMM 💙💙💙

#asgard to earth 💚 (ooc) #|| tfw you don't realise how toxic someone was until they've chosen to vanish from your life #|| Sad thing is that they play the victim as if I hadn't went through panic and anxiety attacks/sleepless nights/migraine periods #|| This person single-handedly managed to kill ALL of my muses for ALL existing threads in the span of a few days and it went on for MONTHS #|| And I *didn't want them to leave*. I was clinging to them because I still thought of them as a friend and I thought we could fix it. 😩 #|| They left though. Blocked me without a word. And it took me two days to feel actual *relief* instead of sadness. I was that involved. #|| But I'm healing and that's beautiful!!!! I'm finally free from guilt!!!!! I can do whatever the fuck I want!!!!!!!!!!! Gods I missed thi #|| All the people who looked at my ''journey'' kept telling me to break contact because they're slowly killing all the happiness I have- #|| And I couldn't do it but at the same time they were all RIGHT. I'm so sorry fam. I'll listen to y'all better the next time okay? #|| And thanks for standing behind me ALWAYS. ALWAYS asking me what's up if I gave even a LITTLE hint. There're so many of you who NOTICED!! #|| And I'm so glad to call you my best friends!!! You mean the world to me! 💚 I'm very very lucky that you're always here for me. 💚 #personal #i am free 👻 #chaos is back online 🐍

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

#speculation nation #this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off. #to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one #but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time. #my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here. #the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years #my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most. #im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession. #it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous. #but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole. #maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth. #that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing. #idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death #to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole? #i dont fucking think so! #yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight #even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death #whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life. #it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!! #and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this #bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about. #but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger... #and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol #anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes. #but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen... #negative/ #i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Back when I was teaching Japanese college students, I remember escorting some of my students back to their dorms from a burger place one of the other mentors invited them to late at night (he ditched them there and I was mad about it because they didn't know the area well).

While we were walking back, I was expressing my disappointment and saying it was inappropriate for that mentor to invite them out without walking them back since it was late at night and it wasn't a great part of the city, but after a few minutes I apologized to them saying something like "I know most of you are grown adults and I don't want you to think I see you as helpless children, but I do want to make sure you get home safely," and one of them said in the kindest most sincere voice, "We know. You are like a Japanese mother."

And I was just like *voice cracking* "Cool" and walked them the rest of the way back to their dorms, then walked to the bus with my face buried in my hands.

#i talk #My favorite student also said I reminded him of his mother (who he'd spoken of very highly the entire trip) and I was like #*VOICE CRACKING* ''OH. THANK YOU.'' #Man I love all those students so much #That was right before one of the worst periods of my life #but I remember the time I spent with them so fondly #One of them was a 40 year old woman who was so surprised I knew who Kaito was when I saw him on the background of her computer #and she was like ''That is Miku's boyfriend'' and I was trying my best not to burst into giggles because she said it so seriously #My favorite student was an absolute sweetheart. When I said goodbye to him and the rest of my students I burst into tears while going home #All of the Pokemon nerds and I played Pokemon Go together and it was so fun #I mostly spoke English with them because I wanted to make sure they were getting enough practice #but I did speak Japanese with them for funzies sometimes (esp. if they were having trouble understanding something) #but I have a tendency to use casual speech and when I found out one of my students was older than me #(one who I always used casual speech with) #I was like WHOOPS. Well. Oh well #he thought it was funny but I guess technically it was fine since I was his mentor / teacher #He was a very serious guy but he was always very nice #Though the one day I wasn't there he got into a fight with another student because they were rude to him #but you know. it happens #anyways. All of them were so sweet #I almost cried saying goodbye to my elementary school students too when I finally decided to swap jobs #The little Mexican boy and girl I taught came up to me and silently hugged me so tightly and cried and cried and cried #and I almost started crying too #agh #I love kids I love college students #aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. education is such a tough field to work in and the pay sucks and you're constantly overworked #but I loved my students so much. I still love them. I hope they're all doing ok #I remember when the Orange Idiot got elected one of the students who was planning to study abroad here messaged me #and I asked him if he still planned to come study here and he said yes because ''I believe the good people outnumber the bad'' #I think about that all the time