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#that’s auntie behavior
champagnemoon · 7 months
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Meg is really Beyoncé’s rap daughter like she love her so much
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puppetmaster13u · 9 months
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Y’know, there’s a bunch of Billy adopted by Danny Phantom stories and prompts. But what if instead he was adopted by reformed Dan Phantom. 
Give him a dad who is trying his best not to murder but Billy is making it very hard not to at least commit a few crimes. It’s just a few, right? It couldn’t be that bad, but he is trying this whole self-restraint thing.  He hasn’t failed. Yet. 
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mariatesstruther · 3 months
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okay but sarah celebrating tommy every year for mother’s day
#who needs a mommy when you got a tommy#the first time shes does this its preschool teacher maria’s idea#shes four and mothers day is coming up and its usually a hard time for her so joel lets maria know just in case she has any behavioral issue#miss maria is like 🫡 i gotchu#she makes sure to emphasize to the kids that families are all different#they spend every day of may leading up to mother day reading books exploring diversity in families and talking about what mom really means#that it doesnt have to be the person who had you in their tummy or a girl or even a person we call mom#for example miss maria’s real mommy wasnt so nice growing up so miss marias TRUE mommy is just her daddy and her auntie rose#because those are the people that loved her no matter what and kept her safe and taken care of and fed#thats all mom is#it just means someone thats there for you every day and loves you and cares for you#someone who is one of your favorite people and who would say the same about you#all the kids go around and say who they think are their moms#mosy say some iteration of ‘mommy’ and ‘mama’ or ‘grammy’#but then baby ellie says ‘tess and auntie marlene’#and baby sarah says ‘uncle thommy’#one of the other littles says ‘daddy and miss maria’ 😭#and they all make heart cards for their mommy firgures#they cant write or really read anything but a few letters yet#(even though hyperlexic baby sarah does have pretty incredible letter recognition for her age)#so they tell miss maria what to write on their cards and then decorate with oil pastels#sarah’s says dear uncle tommy thank you for being my mommy you are so funny and i love when we play horsey and princesses. happy mommy day#when he picks her up at the end of the day shes like HI MOMMMMM all giggly and hes like ????? hi???? whats this???? OPEN IT OPEN IT OPEN IT#and when he does and read it he literally drops to his knees to hug her and cry#because theres really nothing more precious than his little angel his baby his best girl#thats tommys DAUGHTER DO YALL UNDERSTAND??????#miss maria watching them from the cubbies like: godDAMN theyre so cute#the next day tommy brings her a oat milk chai from her favorite coffee shop as a thank you because it meant a lot to him and shes like ????#how did u know???? and hes like my brother and you ran into each other there last week yeah? he told me abt it i asked for your order#and shes like 🥹🥰🫠 thanks
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sanjerina · 24 days
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The thing I love about fannish creativity is how all of the stories kind of curl up next to the original version and pad it out, but in this variegated way where the padding around the original* story can create so many different answers to things like: what happened next? — what happened in the other character’s point of view? — why are there bees in the trees in the autumn? — what if the bees were surveillance cameras?
(This is, by the way, the collaborative storytelling we have been designed to do for, like, a couple-few hundred thousand years? * Yeah.)
Anyway. The example I have today (though I have others!) is from Victoria Goddard’s Greenwing and Dart series, which focuses on two young men named, as might imagine, Mr. Greenwing and Mr. Dart.
There were so many many stories where the buddy-sleuth (they’re not cops, Jemis Greenwing says ACAB) vibe they have going, their emotional intensity, their various in-jokes… I would have read as homoerotic subtext, like we’ve all been doing since Holmes and Watson.
And fanfic has always been such a reliable place for this. Like. Please and thank God for that. I keep talking about the Good Boys because I want them to experience every possibility of love and support and sarcasm they can possibly attain. And bring their friends. In wild permutation.
But for various reasons, halfway through its run I don’t think the text is “going there” (in terms of a G+D sexual relationship) — there’s plenty of gayness within the text, so it’s not Goddard pretending to ignore something (as if she would).
But it’s also not a sexually charged relationship**, and I’ll be astounded if that is how it actually ends for them. G+D hits beat by beat of a traditional romance in so many ways, but instead of “falling short” of true love like a 70s buddy comedy, it falls otherwise. Mr. Greenwing and Mr. Dart are each the most important person in the others’ lives. That will not change. Their mutual loyalty is so precious to me that I fear to mention it lest I endanger it.
So — though I will read alllllllll of the Greenwing/Dart fanfic y’all want to write! — I would sort of be let down if they did get together sexually “for real” (i.e., in canon). The beauty and vulnerability of their friendship is gorgeous just as it is, and my demi/gray-ace heart finds that so fulfilling. I trust the storyteller here and have no doubt she can get me “there” if that’s where she’s going, but I love their dynamic and the way it shows another model of love. And since that’s often a theme in Goddard’s writing, I think she’s doing it on purpose.
So if she did “go there”, great, nothing I like better of an evening than reading a satisfying romance about two people (who are fictional and nothing at all like me) finding true love and also orgasms. But if she sticks the queerplatonic landing as I am currently expecting, I will be deeply satisfied.
Either way, fanfic will fill in and give us the story that’s not there. And that’s what I love about stories that accumulate other storytellers.*
Anyway, to my POINT, which is that I love fanfic for its profusion of color, AND I also love the original* canon everyone more or less agrees on and either (1) elaborates within that framework or (2) turns it on its head.
And please go read these books. The love, the loyalty, the yearning… the FANFIC just trust me. I want 500K of G+D fic on my desk next Monday and I’m hardly going to do it all myself 😂
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* I think in the end every story is one story, but also that that’s why every retelling of that story is singular and cannot be duplicated. Along with also having a theory about social storytelling and music being the ways we managed our mental health long enough to develop agriculture (and then fuck that cultural system up.)
But anyway. I’m also a tiny bit high right now, so this may not be as deep as I think it is. :)
** Look, in canon, which is from Jemis’s perspective, you know I’m right. And yes, it’s equally well established that Jemis is an otherwise very smart young man who is utterly oblivious about his own sex appeal. So it’s like a Schrödinger’s cat of they will kiss/they will not kiss, and I eat that up with a spoon.
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tumortain · 1 year
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I simply know that the leader of the supernatural rogues is rook's sister because it's always your father's side of family that act Like That (wish harm upon you and your mother) 😒
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cosmermaid · 8 months
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9/11 is coming up in a few days and people are always so fucking weird about it. Like there's a bunch of boomers and older folk who didn't actually lose anyone to the event making some huge political symbol out of it, and now you've got Tiktokers and tumblr leftists meming about it as if it didn't happen in living memory.
I didn't lose anyone, but I did make a point to listen to people who have. There are so many people out there, especially online who will tell the stories about who they lost that day and how it affected them. It's not hard to find.
It just baffles me that the only ones who can seem to see that day for what it was were people who were personally affected by it.
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thyfleshc0nsumed · 2 months
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I shouldn't, right?
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thethief1996 · 7 months
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If I see anybody on tumblr talking about the beheaded babies fake news I'm killing somebody
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theloveinc · 1 year
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who do u think forgets/doesn't tell everyone they're having a kid and then pulls up to the holiday party with a baby
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custer-mp3 · 1 year
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telling my aunt she should get a cognitive screening cuz she's texting me pictures of myself from 10+ years ago to try to convince me to grow my eyebrows back
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tariah23 · 1 year
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Oh brother
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miss-crazy-rose · 1 year
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I started smoking cigarettes at 24 because I’m a grade 1 idiot, and my parents don’t know. So right now I’m at my parents, stressed out because my mom is… intense and I’m craving a smoke but I can’t because I left them in Paris 🙃
Conclusion: don’t start smoking kids, it’s bad, and auntie Valentine is a bad example
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confusedraven1 · 7 months
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my favorite thing so far about season 2 is how, no matter what, the crew of the revenge actively chooses their found family, over and over again
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• swede loves and is married to jackie, but double crosses her anyway because of his love and “life debt” for his family
• stede leaves ricky at jackie’z, despite ricky being inexperienced, because he’s fucking around and they all need to leave. stede’s not gonna risk his family just because ricky wants some sort of recognition for something he barely helped with
• oluwande leaves zheng yi sao because he’ll be damned if he leaves jim, who he’s reiterated that they’re family for him
• frenchie and jim disobeys ed’s orders and save izzy’s life because, as jim says, “he’s THEIR dick.” archie follows along cause she knows it’s fucked up and wants to stay by jim’s side
• izzy has chosen ed over and over again, and would’ve continued to if ed had accepted the help he desperately needed, but ed isolates himself and pushes izzy to the point where he HAS to choose the rest of the crew instead
• roach, wee john, and pete all get jobs on the red flag that play to their strengths and they enjoy IMMENSELY, but they go back to the revenge cause there’s no world where they wouldn’t. buttons had the opportunity to probably get more sea witch info and tools from auntie, but he also wouldn’t ever choose that over the crew
• lucius is PISSED at stede, and has a ton of ptsd to work through. i imagine he probably felt somewhat safe finally on the red flag. but after talking things through with stede and pete, i know that it was a no brainer for him as well. he’d never give pete up again after that kind of separation
• even though stede is loving the experience of seeing zheng yi sao doing what she does best and the (seemingly) warm and comforting environment on the red flag, he chooses to rescue the crew, even izzy, and take back their ship. because he knows they would choose him (and did during the act of grace, minus izzy). he’s bringing their family back together despite everything else
• i would say that the crew still with ed DID choose him, constantly. any other crew would’ve mutinied WAY before they did, but they love ed and hoped things would get better despite his behavior saying otherwise. the only times they didn’t choose him was out of self-preservation
• ed became a self-fulfilling prophecy and isolated himself. i would argue that he’s the one exception here. he actively chooses to disregard his family because of his self-loathing and deluded himself into thinking they wouldn’t choose him. BUT, in the end, he finally does because stede cast him that line. he chose to live for himself, of course, but i like to think that that decision was also to come back to the one person that truly felt like family for him
i am so fucking excited to see all of the other ways they’re going to choose each other, yet also keep each other accountable for the things they do. because they’re family
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wileys-russo · 5 months
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stuck with me II k.cooney cross x reader
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stuck with me II k.cooney cross x reader
"-so i said we would babysit for a few hours." kyra shrugged, dropping two bags onto your bed as you raised an eyebrow. "you mean i'll babysit. when the kids are around you are not the responsible adult in the situation ky." you raised an eyebrow as your girlfriend pulled a face and kissed your cheek.
"don't act like you wouldn't have said yes in a heartbeat. everyone knows you're harleys favorite anyway!" kyra cheesed hitting you where she knew would work, your ego. "can't argue with the facts. what's in the bags?" you sighed and questioned with narrowed eyes as kyra clapped happily.
"i know its not december yet but i thought since we're as close as we'll ever get to being in the snow for christmas and its the last camp for the year we could-" the girl jumped onto the bed and rifled through the bags. "-build gingerbread houses and make ornaments!" she pulled out the boxes with a gleeful grin and you melted at her obvious delight.
"where did you even get these?" you laughed, picking up one of the diy bauble kits and reading through. "kyra! this very clearly says ages 10 and up, harper and harley are not 10!" you warned, eyebrows furrowing at the toxic warning for the glue.
"it's fine babe! we'll be supervising and doing it with them the entire time." kyra waved off your worries, moving onto her knees and knocking the box from your grip, hands pawing at your hoodie.
"baby!" you laughed as she yanked you down onto the bed and hovered over you with a grin, attacking your face with kisses. "now say; thank you kyra. you are so smart kyra, what a great idea kyra!" she demanded cheekily between kisses.
"like the sound of your own name do you cooney cross?" you teased, grabbing the back of her neck and guiding her lips to meet your own, smiling happily at the waves of pleasure which washed over you at the feeling of her soft lips moving against yours.
but the moment was cut short as rapid knocks sounded, all too familiar voices crying out for the door to open as you gently pushed your girlfriend off of you, pecking her pouty lips a few times and watching her face light up as you promised to resume what you started later on.
you'd not even opened the door more than a few centimeters before two tiny bodies barreled inside, darting through your legs with gleeful cheers as kyra dropped down to the floor to grab both young girls in a bear hug.
"thank you for this." katrina sighed gratefully pulling you into a hug, having been called into an unexpected zoom meeting with some perspective new clubs for the afternoon.
"neither of them have napped so they should hopefully crash within the hour." tameka added on, down for press conference duty with tony this afternoon. "please, like ky will let them sleep." you chuckled, the midfielder calling out hello's to both older women who smiled seeing her spinning around both harley and harper in her arms.
"call us if anything happens yeah?" katrina warned as you nodded, promising you would and taking the girls backpacks from tameka as you waved them off, both their daughters yelling out goodbye before the door closed and they were gone.
"and where's my hug?" you gasped, crossing your arms feigning annoyance as both girls tried to scramble for you, kyra trapping harper in her arms as harley leapt her small body off the bed causing you to scramble to catch her.
"i'm like a superhero!" the three year old grinned as you twirled her round, blowing a raspberry to her cheek. "let her go!" you laughed at your girlfriend as harper wiggled and whined in her grip.
"what are we doing today?" harley asked eagerly, jumping up and down on the bed once you placed her back down, scooping up harper and flinging her up and into the air, catching her as the girl giggled.
"well. aunty ky has some cool activities for us to do, but only if you're on your best behavior." you warned with a smile, both girls yelling that they were good over and over as kyra moved to grab the bags. "okay okay! we get it, you're good girls." you laughed, taking harleys outstretched hands and swinging her around like you knew she wanted.
"okay!" kyra clapped for everyones attention as you took a seat on the bed, harley scrambling to sit on your lap as harper tucked herself into your side, making you grin as her little head wedged its way under your arm.
"we're gonna make...." kyra trailed off, drumming her hands on the nightstand as the suspense built. "gingerbread houses!" she yelled happily, causing you to wince as the two girls beside you screeched in delight.
"ky, i really don't think its a good idea to let them eat so much." you warned, harley sat on your lap as harper sat on hers, both of you tucked up against the desk in the corner building your respective gingerbread houses.
you'd watched with a sigh as kyra would every now and then allow both girls to consume a lolly, which eventually escalated into her giving them permission to eat whatever they wanted so long as they left some to decorate with.
"why? it's fine!" your girlfriend waved it off, moving to help harper glue a few candy canes to the roof of their house. polar opposite to theirs, harley had wanted a much more organised look, taking her time to make sure it was neat and tidy which made you smile.
"because kyra, what goes in must come out!" you warned, already starting to see harper perk up a little more. "what? they won't throw up they're little but they're not babies." kyra scoffed with a roll of her eyes, whining as you reached over to sharply pinch her thigh.
"hey! mummy says no pinching." harper piped out with a scowl in your direction as kyra stuck her tongue out at you, dismissing your worries and returning to helping harper as harley bounced in your lap demanding your attention.
turns out, you were of course correct.
"woah woah! where did you get these?" your eyes widened as you scooped up harley and grabbed a pair of craft scissors out of her hand. "found em." the girl beamed, wiggling to be put down as you tucked her under your arm.
"kyra that is a terrible idea." you warned sternly as the midfielder pulled out the ornament making kit.
"no its not it'll give them something to do with their energy." the brunette huffed, practically pinning harper down who was doing her best impression of a lion, teeth nashing and trying to bite the older girl.
"harps no biting!" you groaned, adjusting harley under your arm who was furiously trying to get away. "see what you did!" you scowled at your girlfriend in annoyance, putting harley down and grabbing harper.
"three minutes for biting." you warned, sitting her down in a chair facing the wall. "harper." you repeated in a serious tone as she tried to get up, the toddler sitting back down and crossing her arms frowning adorably.
"kyra!" you whined seeing her setting harley up with a bauble and a glue gun. "you got any better ideas babe?" the girl raised an eyebrow challengingly. "nap time?" you sighed, wincing as two very loud protests were yelled back at you.
"not on the bed." you grabbed harley under her arms and swung her into a chair as kyra moved beside her. "done now?" harper peeked over the top of her own chair as you sighed again. "done biting?" you questioned with crossed arms as harper nodded.
"go on." you gestured for her to get up as she ran over to kyra, climbing up into her lap as you stepped out to go to the bathroom and clear your head, the christmas music kyra insisted on blasting from her phone not helping the chaos.
"see babe? piece of cake!" kyra chirped quietly, nudging her shoulder into yours as the two of you stared down at the pair of sleeping girls in bed. "they're covered in glitter." you sighed running a hand through your hair with a shake of your head.
"occupational hazard, it washes off." kyra dismissed your concerns with a wave. "come on baby. we did good! no one got hurt, nothing got broken, they're safe and fast asleep." kyra pressed a kiss to your cheek as you rolled your eyes.
"high five for top babysitters!" kyra murmured happily, holding up her hand and wiggling her eyebrows. "you are such a child sometimes." you sighed but smacked your hand into hers none the less.
but when you tried to pull away, alarm bells sounded.
"kyra. why is your hand stuck to mine?" you asked calmly, your girlfriend shrinking a little at the question.
"please tell me you washed the glue off." you spoke again, the brunette avoiding your eyes as you pinched the bridge of your nose with your free hand.
before you could say another word there was gentle knocks at the door, your girlfriend hissing a little in pain as you yanked her toward it by your conjoined hands. "hope they weren't any trouble?" katrina smiled, her and tameka moving inside as you and kyra backed off.
"no trouble! never trouble." kyra replied nervously, katrina instantly picking up on the shift in tone, shooting the younger girl a weird look over her shoulder as she picked up a still sleeping harper.
"do some arts and crafts did we?" tameka laughed at the glitter all over harley who stirred. "we'll drop the baubles off once they dry." you smiled nodding to the desk where they sat among a pile of glitter. "they're so cute." tameka grinned, kyra having done her best to help them both write their names.
"really cute." katrina echoed, though her tone conveyed suspicion as you and kyra did your best to hide your conjoined hands. "well we have to shower and get ready for dinner!" you smiled nodding toward the door, tameka thanking you both and promising she owed you one before leaving.
"you right min?" kyra smiled nervously as the shorter woman stared you both down. "fine. what are you two hiding?" she adjusted harper in her arms, eyes narrowing again as you both rambled out nothing. "its my fault." kyra blurted out as you glared and rammed your elbow into her side.
"ky shut up!" "what is your fault?"
"babe!" you groaned as kyra held up your stuck together hands. "i don't get it." katrina frowned on confusion. "they're stuck together. i had glue on my hands and i didn't wash it off and then we high fived and-" her nervous ramblings were cut off by the laughter from the woman in front of you.
"oh my you two are unbelievable. good luck! see you at dinner." with that she quickly left the room, ignoring the two of you calling after her for help.
your girlfriend withered at the glare you fixed her with, the two of you taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "where did you get the kits from?" you asked firmly, your girlfriend stuttering out an answer as you grabbed her phone and did a quick google, which proved to be incredibly challenging with one hand.
punching in the number you dialed the store kyra snuck out to you quickly explained what happened to the manager who assured there was a dissolvent they could order in to arrive tomorrow morning, the canadian clearly unable to hold back his amusement as you thanked him and hung up.
thankfully the game was not until the weekend as you explained the situation to kyra, the blunt tone of your voice meaning she knew exactly how pissed off with her you were.
"baby." you turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow. "what?"
"there's no one i'd rather be stuck with than you?"
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sinofwriting · 3 months
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Not Quite Temptation - Max Verstappen
Words: 874 Summary: Christian introduces Max to his daughter. Note(s): This was requested months ago and I apologize to the requester that it took so long for me to write it, but I hope you enjoy! Also, I’m aware of the complaint that has been filed on Horner (the complaint from what I understand (and seen from majority sources) is about aggressive management i.e. controlling behavior). I understand if seeing this makes people uncomfortable and if it does, I urge you to scroll past and ignore this.
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Christian had been thrilled when his oldest child, his daughter, had finally wanted to come to a race. He wasn’t delusional. He knew it wasn’t because she had finally gained a larger interest in the sport, no matter how much he had tried over the years. It was simply to spend time with him. Which as much as he pretended to complain to Geri about it (because honestly if she wanted to spend time with him, it’d be much easier not during a race weekend) he loved it.
He hadn’t gotten to really be a part of her life as she grew up, custody arrangement strict due to all of his traveling. It was only later when she turned sixteen that really she and him truly got to spend time together. Her mother allowing her to spend weeks at his house, more comfortable as well with Geri being there. There was a little part of him however that was bitter that it took this long for her to attend a race, that her mother had been so insistent on her not going to races when she was underage.
He pushed away the thought, just happy that finally wanted to go to one, even if it was just to see and spend time with him.
Introducing her around, he laughs when Adrian’s eyes go a little wide.
“Why that can’t be little Y/N? You were twelve the last time I saw you. And this high.” He raises his hand to just a little above his waist. “Eight years changes a lot.” She laughs. “What dad doesn’t show a picture of me around?” It’s a joke, but a few people overhearing flinch, exchanging looks. “If you’d let me show pictures of you, I would. I’m very proud.” Christian says, wrapping an arm around her and kissing the top of her head, still in disbelief that he had a twenty-year-old daughter. It didn’t feel right or real. “I know.”
He smiles, nodding at Adrian before directing to where the driver’s rooms are. “C’mon, I want you to meet Max. It’s nearly a crime you haven’t met him till now.” “Aw, your golden child. Or second golden child.” He mock scowls at her. “You need to stop talking to Seb.” “No way. His girls call me Auntie.” Christian makes a humming noise, stopping in front of a closed door and raising his fist to knock.
“Max. Do you have a moment? There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” He hears the driver groan through the door. “Christian, I really don’t want to meet a sponsor right now, okay. I’m not feeling well.” “Not a sponsor, I promise.” “Pleasant.” She murmurs when Max doesn’t say anything else. It makes him glance down and he’s relieved to see an amused smile on her face. “How often are you forcing him to meet sponsors?” “You sound like him right now.” He tells her. As she starts to laugh, the door opens.
“Max,” Christian smiles. “This is my daughter, Y/N. Y/N, Max Verstappen.” “Your golden child.” She teases, before reaching out to shake Max’s hand that he had extended. “Nice to meet you, Max. My dad is quite fond of you.” “Lovely to meet you.” He tells her, before looking at Christian for a brief second with a raised eyebrow. “Is this your first race?” “It is.” “Let me give you a tour, introduce you to a few drivers. Any minute now, Christian will have to go to a meeting.” “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” She says, leaning just the slightest bit into him and he knows that Max picks up on it with the way his eyes soften a bit. “It’s no problem really. Besides, this means your dad will owe me a favor.” He winks. Christian wants to protest, but she laughs and he nods. “One favor and my meeting should only be an hour, darling.” He presses another kiss to her head. “Careful with my daughter, Max and don’t take her around Toto or Esteban. That’s the last thing I need.” “Got it, boss.”
A little over an hour later, as Christian enters the garage, his eyes quickly spot his daughter who's talking to Adrian again, her hands moving around as she explains something to him. He considers going over, but Adrian has that look on his face. The one where he’s fully paying attention and getting some sort of idea from what the other person is telling him.
Letting his eyes wander around the garage, they pause on Max and he nearly freezes because that is the look of a man clearly checking someone out and a sick sort of feeling forms in his stomach. Following his line of sight, his fists clench and he struggles not to yell. Because it was his daughter that Max was looking at. His fucking daughter.
Looking at her, he takes a few deep breaths, comforting himself with the fact that she’d never be interested in someone like Max. Completely missing how her hair is no longer up but down and carefully covering parts of her neck and how she keeps shifting her weight. He also completely misses the small glances and smiles Max and her exchange.
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@cixrosie @darleneslane @fanboyluvr @teti-menchon0604 @eugene-emt-roe @quackquackhun @rewmuslupin @copper-boom @stopeatread @crashingwavesofeuphoria @jointhehunt67 @namgification @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @hiireadstuff @iloveyou3000morgan @boiohboii @bibliosaurous @skepvids @elliegrey2803
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zepskies · 5 months
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Green
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Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x F. Reader, Ben and daughter!OC
Summary: Ben spends the day alone with his daughter, to varying degrees of success. When you get home, it prompts a serious conversation.
AN: Another one-shot for the BMD-verse, set sometime after "Until Morning" (you'll see). This can be read as standalone as well!
Word Count: 2,500 Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Father and daughter fluff, followed by husband and wife spice.~
Read more of the BMD-verse! ⤵️
💚 Break Me Down Masterlist
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Father and daughter were glaring at one another, gazes locked.
Green against green.
“Young lady, I’m telling you right now. I’m not gonna tolerate any more of your little attitude,” said Ben. “If you want to try me, be my guest.”
He held the ravioli poised on a pink plastic spoon. His daughter Lila sat in her highchair in the kitchen, boldly refusing any more of her lunch.
Her stubborn face reminded him entirely too much of you. But he needed her to eat. He wouldn’t have it said when you came home that he couldn’t feed a damn two-year-old.
He huffed. “Work with me here. Just a couple more bites.”
Lila made a shrill sound of refusal when the spoon came near her face. He knew she could use a spoon just fine. She was being difficult on purpose.
To demonstrate her resolve, she slapped at the ravioli with a chubby little hand, and it ended up splashing back into the bowl. A bit of red sauce splattered onto Ben’s cheek, with a pinch of it hitting his eye.
He blinked in annoyance. “Delilah Marie, I swear to Christ—”
She’s just a baby, a voice that sounded a lot like you infiltrated his mind. It still didn’t take away his aggravation.
“No!” Lila insisted. It was her favorite word, right behind Bluey.
She then pushed the bowl right off the highchair. It spilled ravioli and pasta sauce all over the floor in spectacular fashion. Ben was sitting in his own chair by the dining table, where he moved his feet back at the last moment. She almost got his Italian loafers.
“You gotta be f…” It took every scrap of patience within him to hold his tongue…and breathe calmly through his nose. He didn’t want to reward this destructive, disrespectful behavior, but he also knew that he needed his daughter to eat.
“Want some applesauce?” he said, as a peace offering.
Lila’s face scrunched.
“No applesauce, huh?” Ben muttered. He glanced at the mess across the highchair and the formerly white tile on the floor. “Your mother’s gonna have a conniption.”
“Mommy?” Lila asked. “Mommy’s home?”
“No, she’s not here right now,” Ben replied. “She’ll be home later.”
Lila seemed to understand, because that’s when she got upset again. Her red-stained finger drew a shapeless form in the sauce as she pouted. At least she wasn’t crying.
Ben sighed, once again, and stroked her cheek with his thumb.
Fuck it.
“You want some ice cream?” he bribed.
Her sadness dissipated at the thought; she smiled brightly and nodded. “Yeah!”
“Yeah, I thought so,” he grumbled.
After a scoop of strawberry ice cream for each of them (she liked it because it was pink), Ben wrangled her up out of the highchair and declared, bath time.
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He did fine with the bathing process. He’d helped you with this before, and so he knew what to do in order to wash the sauce off her face, hands, and even her hair. It was what came after the bath that remained a problem.
Lila was stubborn beyond belief, even before she could articulate what it was about the soft green onesie that she didn’t like. No, she wasn’t satisfied until Ben pulled out the yellow Starlight themed pajamas. Probably because they had “Auntie Annie’s” face all over them.
He rolled his eyes, but this wasn’t a hill he needed to die on. He dressed Lila and tried to tuck her into bed for her afternoon nap. The problem was, she refused to lie still in the crib.
Instead, she was bouncing on the balls of her feet, using the edge of the crib for balance. He’d be impressed, if she wasn’t trying to climb out and give him a small heart attack.
He grabbed her and gathered her against his chest. Despite the super strength you’d temporarily displayed off and on throughout your pregnancy, Lila’s powers were latent at the moment. Dr. Baker seemed to think Lila would start to display them once she got old enough. Like Ryan, who hadn’t started growing into his powers until around 10 years old.
So for now, Lila was a mostly normal two-year-old who could still get hurt.
Ben frowned. “This is the time you usually go down. Why do you have so much energy?”
She just giggled at him and put both hands on his face, over his eyes.
“Daddy, guess who?”
He sighed, but couldn’t help smiling. As usual, he indulged her.
“Could it be my baby girl?”
He waited until her hands came away from his eyes, and he opened them wide.
“There she is!”
She squealed and giggled and grabbed his hair when he kissed her cheek. In the comfort of his own home, he could afford to be this openly affectionate.
Aw shit, he thought, as something occured to him.
He finally realized why she was so fucking hyper. Maybe it had something to do with the giant scoop of ice cream she’d had for lunch.
Goddamn it. Ben sighed and unwrapped her arm from around his head.
“Okay, let’s watch some TV.”
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Lila didn’t seem all that interested in watching anything, or even playing with her toys. She mainly wanted to jump on Ben’s stomach while he was trying to relax on the couch. He put on a football game you taped for him. Or recorded, as you'd said.
“All right, enough. Your old man’s trying to watch the game,” Ben said, bringing Lila down to sit in lap.
That lasted for about two seconds. Thereafter, she was climbing up his chest and trying to smother him with her little hands.
He took her hand from his nose so he could at least breathe in peace.
“Where’s Mommy?” Lila asked, as she sat on his shoulder and beat a little fist on the top of his head.
“She’s with your aunt,” Ben replied. “Well, not your real one, the fake one.”
Lila made a sound of confusion. Realizing that she didn’t know what the hell he meant, he rephrased.
“She’s with your Aunt Annie. They’ll be back soon,” he said.
He didn’t mind you wanting a day out to yourself. What he minded was the attitude you’d struck when he suggested dropping Lila off with Louisa, your actual sister.
“What, you can’t handle her alone for one day?” you’d asked.
His pride hadn’t allowed him to say no to that.
So here he was, with a wily toddler who was doing her damndest to suffocate him. Better attempts than this had failed, but it was still annoying while he was trying to watch the game.
Somehow, he managed to tune it out while he watched the ref make a bad call.
“What was that?! You gotta be kidding me!” Ben said, holding Lila to his chest even as he pointed and shouted at the TV. “Son of a bitch. What a pussy call that was.”
“Bish, bish, bish,” Lila said, making a game out of the word. It called Ben’s attention.
He forgot about the game for a moment when he looked down at her. His eyes widened a fraction, even as a smile pulled at his lips.
“What’d you just say?”
“Bishhhhhh,” Lila repeated. “Somvabishhhh.” Her lips squished like a fish. And then she giggled, like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.
“Aw, fuck,” Ben uttered.
And he pressed his lips together with ever widening eyes at what he’d just said.
Lila grinned. “Fack!”
“Uhh, no. No. Don’t say that,” he said, trying to sound stern. Inside, he was trying not to laugh. He didn't really give a shit what she said, but you were particular about the kid not inheriting his vocabulary.
In fact, he was pretty sure you were going to go nuclear for this one.
“Why?” Lila asked.
“Because it’s uh…a bad word,” Ben replied, even though he wanted to roll his eyes at himself. This was what he’d become. A suburban dad.
"And it's not ladylike," he added.
“Fackkkk,” Lila giggled some more.
Christ on a cross. Ben bit the inside of lip hard to stop himself from laughing.
“Whatever. Just don’t say it around your mom,” he relented. He brushed his fingers through her soft brown hair. She preened at the attention, like the little showboat she was.
“Daddyyyy…” Lila wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled as deeply into him as she could, like a koala clinging to a shaking branch.
Ben sighed and rubbed a hand up and down her back as he cradled her against him.
These were the moments he didn’t mind. In fact, these were the moments he did his best to remember. They helped block out the older, darker ones that this kid would never know.
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Ben woke to the shutter of a camera going off.
He blinked his bleary eyes open to find you standing there with a highly amused smile on your face, and your phone poised in your hand.
He groaned, but he soon realized that Lila was sleeping in his arms, on his chest. You leaned down and rested a hand on her back. You also greeted him with a kiss to his temple.
“Long day?” you teased quietly.
Ben gave you a deadpan look, one that had you straining to taper down your giggles. Though he drew you closer by your hip and squeezed the soft flesh over your white sundress. He took you in with a lazy once-over.
You looked good. Sexy as hell, really. Your face was glowing and relaxed, and he liked the shade of red you’d done on your nails.
“You have a good time?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you replied, massaging his shoulder. Though you arched a brow. “There’s a catastrophe in the kitchen.”
Ben blinked.
Fuck. He forgot about that.
“Yep,” he said, giving you a teasing smirk of his own. “Right on time for you, baby.”
You chuckled, though your eyes narrowed in warning. “Yeah, right.”
You still helped him put Lila down in the nursery for the rest of her nap. She yawned and turned over onto her back. You pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, though you had to smile when it accidentally left the red mark of your lipstick behind.
You bit your lip and gently rubbed it off without waking her up. (An amazing damn feat, as far as you were concerned.)
Ben laid a heavy hand on your back, prompting you to straighten up and turn into his waiting embrace.
His lips curved as he looked down at you. “Hey.”
You laughed quietly. “Hey, yourself.”
Your hands glided up his chest, and further still to hold his face. You brought him down to kiss you, with your fingers slipping into his hair, and your nails dragging along his scalp. He hummed into your mouth.
“Miss me?” you teased.
Ben huffed. As usual though, his answer was in his actions. He held you close for a moment, just to feel you there.
Your arms slipped around his, clinging to his shoulders as you rested against him. This was your safe, comfortable place where you always felt at home.
But, you couldn’t help but break the spell.
“Come on. Clean up on aisle 12,” you quipped, reaching around to smack his ass.
Ben rolled his eyes, but when you pulled away from him, he followed you into the kitchen.
“You know, I had a lot going on. Your kid is a fucking menace,” he said. “Like a bull in a China shop.”
You scoffed. “She’s only my kid when she gives you a hard time. Where do you think she gets it from?”
“You,” he retorted.
You had to laugh at that one. It still didn’t get him out of helping you clean the kitchen from top to bottom.
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After a long shower, waking an errant child from her nap, dinner, and a joint effort of getting Lila to sleep for the night, Ben joined you in bed wearing just his usual sweatpants.
You’d opted for some black satin, he noticed.
Good, he thought, for the night to come. You’d spent the whole day getting massaged and moisturized and whatever else women did on a day out.
When he rolled onto his side, you greeted him with a smile and a hand running up his arm, already pulling him toward you. His hand glided along your bare thigh as you hooked it over his hip.
“I need to tell you something, but you’ve gotta promise not to say anything to anyone,” you whispered in the small space between his face and yours, and you tapped his chin.
Ben raised a brow and squeezed your thigh. Whatever it was, couldn’t it wait until long after he’d undressed you?
“What?” he asked.
“Annie’s pregnant!” you said with a wide smile. “Six weeks. She just told me today.”
Ben blinked at that one. “Is it Hughie’s kid?”
“Wha…of course, it is!”
“Wow. Guess he had it in him after all,” Ben remarked. “Who woulda thought.”
You shook your head, but his grin made you laugh.
“You’re ridiculous,” you said, through your remaining giggles, though you leaned forward and stole a kiss. It led Ben to want more, and more of you.
He started to ply you with slow, lazy kisses that grew deeper, becoming all-consuming as his tongue warred against yours. His hands dove under the satin covering your body, and his thumbs brushed the sides of your breasts.
“Maybe it’s time we go for number two,” he said.
You uttered another incredulous laugh, gripped a fist in his hair and tugged. “Excuse me?”
“You fucking heard me,” Ben said. He rolled you onto your back and pinned you there. “Ain’t no way we’re stopping at one. Lila needs a brother.”
“You can’t even handle one,” you teased. Your hands slid up his arms and then down his chest. “Baby, we can talk about having more kids, but—”
“And? We’re talking now,” he said. He dipped his head to start kissing a hot, wet line down your neck. It made your breath falter and your back start to arch. Your hips shifted against his, trying to find friction. You could feel his length hardening against your thigh.
“Ben,” you warned, and implored, but the graze of his teeth on your neck made you shudder.
Your grip on his arms tightened. “Please…”
“Please what?” he smirked against your skin. His hips rocked against your heated core.
This conversation was going into a no man’s land very fast.
You literally took matters into your own hands…by reaching down and grasping your husband’s cock through his sweatpants. You gave him a demanding squeeze.
His breath hitched. Ben paused, unlatching from your neck, and turning his lips toward your cheek.
“I’m listening,” he said, in a gritted voice. You smirked.
“We can, and we will talk about this,” you promised. “Just not when you’re about to be balls-deep inside me.”
You were back on birth control anyway (the pill this time).
Ben chuckled. His hand reached up and smoothed your hair away from your forehead.
“Fine,” he conceded. A smirk grew across his face. “But we can still practice.”
A giggle fell from your lips, just before he claimed them once again.
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AN: A little callback to the BMD Epilogue at the end there. 😂
What did you think about the father/daughter time? And do you think Ben won against either of the ladies in his life? 🤣
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Soldier Boy Masterlist
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