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allie1804-fan · 4 years

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A Doorway is Opened (Chapter 2)

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It was June 2020 and progress was being made with plans to re-open film production - Keanu would soon be heading back to Germany to continue shooting the Matrix 4. With the lock-down restrictions on meeting friends lifting, Keanu invited Hannah to dinner at his house. He even cooked - a dish of spaghetti with prawns, fresh tomato and lemon that his sister had taught him. This would be their first meeting in 2 months and their last in 2 months due to the shooting schedule.

After dinner, they went through to his living room and sat on the sofa to talk through the latest draft of the script.

“So, you’re glad I pushed you on this aren’t you? Gave you something to do in lock-down huh?”

“Yeah OK you win”, she laughed. “I’m grateful to you for giving me the confidence to try”

She carried on:

“You know these past couple of months I’ve felt like the clouds have lifted, the clouds of grief …. and I know that’s partly just time passing but it’s also thanks to you and your friendship” she spoke in an almost whisper. When she met his gaze he was blushing again!

“The screenplay gave me a real focus for the first time since Mark died you know other than helping the boys and just putting one foot in front of the other”

He nodded his understanding

“I kind of feel like a plant coming back to life after a long dark winter”

He smiled to think he’d helped her to loosen grief’s grip on her soul.

“I heard a theory about this before. They said that your grief is always the same, the same size and just as painful but your life grows around it and cushions the pain”

Keanu nodded his agreement

“For me” he said, “sometimes my grief bursts forth like an alien from my chest when I least expect it. I hope we find a way to express your concept in the movie when it’s made - I love it so much. You have some beautiful ways of explaining grief”

“Well like I said, that one’s not mine, it’s just one I found that really resonated with me”

“You’re too modest”

They looked at each other. Somehow, the atmosphere had changed with the sharing of such deep feelings. Keanu looked at her, soft brown eyes holding hers for a few moments longer than felt comfortable. Suddenly he shook his head as if a shiver went through him

“Where are my manners, would you like some more wine”

“I better not, I’m driving and I’ve already had one glass” she said.

“You could always sleep over, in the spare room I mean, I mean I’m not hitting on you or anything, not that I wouldn’t want to, oh God! ……….”

By this point, Hannah had started laughing at his befuddlement and he started to giggle as well.

“Sorry for being such a dork – could you stay though?” he beseeched her with his eyes, or do you need to be back for the kids?, I know I sound like I’m begging, I kind of am I guess ……….. it would just be nice to talk some more ………. I mean what with we me going away for 2 months, Facetime just isn’t the same!”

Hannah took pity on him and placed her hand on top of his and stroked it softly

“1 I don’t need to be back for the boys, they’re at their grandparents this week and so 2, yes I could sleep over and 3 yes please, more wine!”

Keanu beamed and leapt up to fetch the bottle from the kitchen.

“What were we talking about before I started being a total dork?!

Hannah chuckled “oh grief, death, our usual cheery stuff!”

“Oh yes, of course we were, what else is there after all?!”

A ghost of a smiled showed on Hannah’s face.

“Do you mind telling me some more about Mark? How long were you together”

“Wow, over 30 years - we were just kids when we met, literally in elementary school. But we didn’t go out until I was 17, nearly 18. I guess I kind of stalked him until he caved in! We knew we were in love about a month in I guess and we got engaged whilst at uni but married just after. I was 23 so we had been married 27 years when he died”

“Wow you were so young to be getting married!”

“I know right! - when I think Toby is already nearly that age, it freaks me out big time. Anyway, I guess you almost know the rest, from the book. We were lucky in so many ways to find each other and stay in love throughout.

A comfortable silence fell as she reflected and wondered about his romantic history. She hoped their current intimacy meant it would be OK to ask.

“What about you? Who have been your big loves, if it’s OK to ask”

“Sure – I mean I think I can be confident of not seeing any of this in next week’s National Enquirer! Let me see, errrrm there was Penny. She drove with me from Toronto to LA when I left there to pursue my career. It wasn’t exactly serious - she knew how focussed on my acting I was, but she was special, my first steady girlfriend I guess.”

Keanu then told her about a few other steady girlfriends in the 80’s and early 90s. None of them had lasted beyond a year. Film and promotional schedules often overtook his time and took him away from LA making it hard to sustain relationships.

“And then there was Jennifer. We had a long distance thing largely as I was away filming the first Matrix not long after we hooked up. I think that added in my head to the romance of it all. Writing her letters on my little typewriter after long days on set, posting them from thousands of miles away. Once I got back to LA things felt less sure, she was never confident in us, always needing reassurance and I think she found the celebrity thing both exciting and overwhelming - like she was part way a fan, partly my lover, you know? Then she got pregnant and everything changed”

“Oh so Jennifer was the mother of your baby, the one who died?”

Hannah knew this one fact about him but had steered away from looking stuff up on-line about it. She counted him as a friend now so if anything was to be shared, it had to come from him.

“Yeah, Ava’s mother. 19 years ago…….so much water under the bridge.”

“Do you think about her often now?”

“Who? Jen or Ava?”

“Both I guess”

“Yeah sometimes. You know in a sliding doors type way, especially at Christmas. That’s when we lost Ava. Christmas Eve 1999. What about you, do you think about your lost babies?”

“Yes sometime of course ……. but I think it’s different for me. My lost babies paved the way for Josh. If they’d lived, he wouldn’t be here, so I don’t mourn them as maybe you mourn your daughter, do you see? Of course I do think of them and every Christmas we’d hang stars and angels on the tree for them. That’s how we remembered them and the pain of their loss.”

Hannah was quiet for a few moments, remembering

“Do you have a way, a ritual to remember Ava? Do you and your family do something to remember her?”

“I guess they always just try to make sure I’m not alone at Christmas. That’s threatened to happen a couple of times and then Brenda or Janey or Alexandra have stepped in you know to rescue me! Stop me embodying my meme!”

“Your meme?”

You know, “Sad Keanu”?

“That one must have passed me by! I’ll get the boys to explain to their boomer mom!”

“I’m so glad you’re a boomer mum as you say and not all over it when it comes to press and internet stuff about me. It’s refreshing. Makes me feel I can be me without all that stuff informing who you think I am. Sometimes it gets in the way with new people, you know? I know I can be myself around my old old friends like Alex (he was in Bill and Ted) and Rob (he was in the band with me)

“Wait you were in a band?”

“Yes back in the 90s, Dogstar. Our folk thrash punk band”

“Sounds interesting – I clearly wasn’t paying enough attention back in the 90s!”

“Well we weren’t exactly topping the charts so that would probably explain it!”

“Can I hear some of your stuff?”

“Sure”

Keanu fetched some cds and had a look through to pick a song, going for “And I Pray”.

“Gosh, a man of many talents” she praised “what did you play?”

“the bass”

“Cool”

“wanna listen to some more music? I can hook up my phone to the speakers and we can play things on Spotify”.

“Sure, so you’re au fait with all the new tech? I took me ages to get there and I still have loads of cds and vinyl”

“me too - believe me I’m generally way behind the curve with technology but my god-daughter and my kid sister both played a role in bringing me into the 21st century”

They spent the next couple of hours, huddled on the sofa, scrolling through music choices on his phone and sharing both his and her favourites as well as reminiscing about bands they’d grown up listening to and great concerts they’d been to.

It was around 1am, with Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” softly playing that Hannah’s head lolled onto Keanu’s shoulder, the impact startling her back awake

“sorry, sorry” she said embarrassed

“hey no worries, you wanna go to bed now?” he asked

“Yeah, as you saw, my eyes are closing”

“Come on, let’s get you set up in the guest room, I’ve got a spare t-shirt you can sleep in if you like and there’s a new toothbrush in the en-suite with your room.

The room was a pretty one, perhaps decorated with his god-daughter in mind she thought. Once he’d shown her where things were and how to work the shower, Keanu bade her goodnight with a light kiss on her cheek. Despite being so tired, it took Hannah a good half hour to fall asleep. She touched the cheek where he’d kissed her and giggled inwardly at herself for feeling like a giddy teenager. In the past 2 months, she’d recognised her growing fondness for Keanu, putting it down to a mix of absence making the heart grow fonder and the Covid crisis making her susceptible. She’d found him very attractive way before she met him but she certainly hadn’t expected that he would reciprocate those nascent feelings. Tonight his lingering gaze as they talked about grief, his befuddlement trying to get her to stay and his soft goodnight kiss all made her wonder and maybe even hope. Tomorrow was another day.

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#keanu #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu reeves imagine #fluff #romance #miscarriage #stillbirth #same age

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nomediaplay · 5 years

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What is the difference between a handshake event and a fan sign?

eh, ok, I will try to quickly explain how things work:

Korean “fan-sign” such as done by SM etc:Normally for 100 fans and lasts about 1 hour. Sometimes it’s held in a space where public can watch (like malls) but usually it’s held in a closed small hall. The 100 fans sits as audience, and in turn go up to a table and meet member after member then go back to their seat. They get like 30 seconds per member to sign something and ask something. 100 fans x 30 seconds = 50 minutes it’s over quite quick. The event is done in cooperation with 1 single CD store. For example, every CD sold during Monday-Wednesday in that one store is a ticket to the draw made to be 1 of 100 to participate in the Saturday event. Many fans will purchase from that specific store, so maybe they sell 10,000 CDs in those 3 days and 100 will be given event tickets (typically announcing winners on maybe Friday). SM acts will normally do these events right after music shows. Like, if SBS Inkigayo ends at 17:00, the artists get a few minutes to go to the restroom and then they go right next to the fansign venue in their stage outfits/makeup for an event starting 18:00 before being done for the day. Rookie acts will typically do loads of such events. Established acts will just do like 3 events. They’d rather not do any at all, but if they’re not completely brainless they’ll understand that doing 3 such meeting events per year actually is a very effortless way to personally meet fans.

Japanese “high five events” (as done by many acts, such as JYP acts in Japan and most Japanese idols):Events are typically held in 2-6 cities on different days. All events are basically all day events in big halls/venues. Every single CD (no matter where you buy it and when (as long as you get it before the event)) contains a card that is the ticket to do a “high five” with the 1 member stated on the card. As in literally a “high-five” that takes 1 second to do. The ticket is valid in any city/event but only for one single high-five with that specific member. You can buy hundreds of CDs to get hundreds of tickets and try collect tickets for your favorite member. But all events are “first come, first serve” with separate lines to all members so after using 1 of your tickets for a 1 second high-five you must run back to again stand last in the line to meet a new member (or the same member again).

Japanese “hand shake events” (as done by all XXX4X events):These are basically the same as above, but (1) you get more like 8 seconds rather than 1 second per ticket and (2) you literally pre-order which member you want to meet when and where. As in, you have to pre-order CDs on a specific site and at the same time you book a specific time slot for your “hand-shake”.As in member AAA may have a 1 hour 15 minutes time slot between 14:00 and 15:15 on a Friday, and there are 500 CDs/tickets available for that slot. Each member might (depending on popularity) have 1~40 such “slots” in different cities on different days (but normally multiple slots per day in one city). And basically, if you alone go buy all the 500 CDs for one slot, then you basically have the entire 1 hour 15 minutes for yourself to meet your idol. Now obviously, for the really popular members it will typically be restricted so that one person can only buy max 20 CDs/tickets per slot (= no more than say 2 minutes of meeting time). But obviously that same stalker fan can buy CDs/tickets to many different slots.

The most extreme Japanese idol groups like XXX4X… Most of their CD sales are from their own online store to book “hand shake event tickets”. But all of their “normal” CDs sold in other stores instead contain tickets for “high five events” or similar. So their crazy fans go buy hundreds of CDs both from the XXX4X online store and from other stores.

Then obviously now and then “idols” and actors hold fan-meetings which literally are just extremely half-arsed concerts to which fans buy tickets as if it was a concert in order to say “ooooaaawwwhhh oppppaaarrrr” when oppar can’t even be bothered to perform.

Why girl groups don’t do Fanmeeting?

Well, there are dual reasons:

If you watch any male idol fan meeting (no matter what format from above) you’ll immediately see that every single attendee is a completely brainless zombie girl who has absolutely no interest in any actual music or performance but who is only interested in the public persona he is (because she is a brainless zombie). Female celebrities would typically not have such brainless zombie fans paying money for nothing.

Secondly, even if there would be a 17 y/o girl attracting hordes of 50 y/o men to pay to meet her… If she had any self respect whatsoever she’d refuse to do that. Now obviously the lines are very blurred between the Japanese idol girl industry and the Japanese AV industry… But why would any serious person want to be a Japanese idol???

Do you think Spotify will a have a fighting against Melon and the rest in korea?

Eh, the question is kind of dumb. Korea was pretty much the country worst hit by piracy in the world. The legal music market died completely. When ILLEGAL services like Melon and Soribada eventually had to become legal and start paying rights-holders for music, that was still very small amounts. It’s been growing since and today it’s regulated by law that they have to pay something like 54% of revenue to right-holders. Spotify on the other hand pays over 70% of revenue to right-holders. So… Right holders giving licenses to Melon is just exclusive for Korea. That’s why it’s illegal for Melon to allow people outside Korea to stream on Melon. While foreign services can’t really enter Korea, because rights holders wouldn’t approve of such low shares on Spotify and then Spotify would have to charge a much higher subscription price than local services in Korea so nobody in Korea would pay for Spotify. Not gonna change until ratios in Korea are raised more in line with international ratios.

How much sajaegi do you think happens on the Korean digital charts?

None of significance. As said before. I find it mind-boggling that people somehow still don’t understand that streaming a song is free and streaming services are interlinked with SNS, and instead people somehow still try to compare streaming data with when people actually had to physically go to a music store and buy a physical disc for $20 USD per disc. It’s not the same. Nowhere near the same.

Talk about trainee debt.

Not sure what I’m supposed to say. Trainees in any serious agencies don’t have trainee debt (as long as they fulfill their trainee contracts). It should kind of go without having to explain that the whole purpose of doing an audition is to show the agency that you actually have the raw talent required to make it in order to persuade them to invest money in training you (and then you’ll split the profit you make as a celebrity if you succeed per the contract you agree on). Now obviously there will be countless of shit agencies without money that can’t pay for training and will try make trainees agree to pay for training, and there will be countless of shit wannabe celebrities that don’t get accepted by proper agencies that still are desperate to try become celebrities and proceed to sign such deals.

What do you think about JYP and how they pay their singers? Is the margin for the “management” segment reasonable for their groups?

Not sure what you expect. Clearly all JYP celebrities throughout history are talentless puppets just humming to JYP’s basic but addictive melodies. Not sure why any JYP singer ever would possibly deserve to be paid more than minimum wage since they contribute nothing.

Even though bigbang have a concert attendance as high as tvxq, they do not seem to bring the same amount of revenue.

BIGBANG had much bigger attendance and MUCH MUCH bigger revenue than TVXQ ever did in a year or two. Not in Japan, but total, when they did their MADE/0TO10/MADE-VIP in 2015/16.

twitter* com/neoliveson/status/1131957008918306816 do you think this petition is gonna work?

Some tragic useless old man is trying to make youtube ad-money from all of BTS’ fangirls??? Color me surprised.

Will YG and JYP ever pay for their crimes?

Pretty sure they’ve not committed any (serious) crimes by law. Maybe you’ve somehow missed it, but during the last 20 years pretty much the entire world has been swept by political liberal influences with the goal that nobody should ever have to be responsible for anything. If you’re a “kpop-fan”, it’s probably very safe to assume that you’re in fact one of those to blame for this liberal fuctardism. No, you can’t both have your cake and eat it.

Look it up this video 아이돌 QnA 2탄! 궁금증 해결! [ENG].

Wayland Q&A part 2? I watched it and I’m not sure what you’re surprised with.

Are BigBang and TVXQ in the same level of recognition as Arashi in Japan?

Not sure if serious or trolling. TVXQ has possibly like half the recognition of Arashi. BIGBANG much less than that. Besides, all the members of Arashi (and SMAP) are extremely well known individually.

Is Blackpink the biggest GG right now or it is mostly mediaplay from YG?

Not really sure what I’m supposed to say. Pop groups overall has been pretty much dead for the last 20 years outside Korea/Japan. So being “the biggest GG right now” isn’t really that much of a feat. Secondly… “or is it mediaplay from YG”… I’m not sure if to laugh or cry. They’re ACTUALLY BIG BECAUSE OF YG’S MEDIAPLAY that you’ve swallowed long ago. That’s the whole point of mediaplay. All you dumb girls all around the world swarm around anyone who’s painted as big in media/SNS. YG is the masters of making you dumbfucks become “fans” of their puppets.

Why Japanese concert tickets are cheap in comparison to other countries?

Uhh, it’s a bit difficult to understand for me too. I mean, I quite appreciate the Japanese system where all tickets are the same price and you apply in a lottery system to get to buy a ticket. But what’s strange is how the very very popular acts don’t charge much much more for their tickets. Like, for example IKON might perform in a Japanese arena with 8000 tickets available for $100 USD each, but only 6000 fans actually apply for tickets to that show. At the same time, B'z may be on an arena tour and play in the same arena with 8000 tickets available for $100 USD each. But 200,000 fans apply for tickets to that show. Clearly they could have charged $300 instead of $100 USD/ticket and still sold out. I’m really struggling to understand why top acts in Japan don’t charge higher prices.

What do you think of JYP saying that album sales are one of the best indicators for a group's success during his JYP 2.0 presentation?

Well, again, for JYP it’s very great with album sales as that’s how JYP make lots of profits.

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b-random · 5 years

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Survey

Taken from @fiaspice

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Cereal.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? No. Not much of a fan of cold weather.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Usually the receipt.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Cold, with ice, without the coffee.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes. Getting self conscious about a lot actually.

6: do you keep plants? Just planted some tonight in fact.

7: do you name your plants? no, but I might.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Not much anymore. But I really want to try acrylic paint pouring.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes. Or to my cats. Or steering wheel.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? sides

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? If I catch my employee at work not using her safety gloves, I ask her where her hand is and she responds by singing “IT ISN’T IN MY GLOOOOOOVE” (to the tune of Shawn Mendes’ “In My Blood”) That’s the only one I can think of that doesn’t require ridiculous amounts of explanation.

12: what’s your favorite planet? Earth. Couldn’t live without it.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Christy and Fraser on 101.5 Today Radio had a contest called “Chereoke” to win Cher tickets and some of the contestants’ attempts at singing Cher was hilarious.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Hopefully it would be a rustic/industrial combo style loft with at least one exposed brick wall, exposed duct work, metal and wood finishes.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!: Halley’s comet won’t orbit past Earth again until 2061... I’ll probably be dead.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Tortellini with a creamy rosé sauce.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I’m bald so this question is just cruel.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. After a friend of mine told me he had unprotected sex with his ex girlfriend on a booty call, I arranged for a bouquet of fruit to be delivered to his work on father’s day with a sonogram attached to it. He’s a darker skinned guy but his face went white as snow. It doesn’t sound like much, but his mom heard about the prank at her work several blocks away.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I don’t. This blog is the closest thing I have to that.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t have a favourite bag.

22: are you a morning person? I would say so. I’m not so much of a night owl anymore.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? I literally sit on my couch all day and do nothing but watch netflix and dick around on my phone.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Don’t think so.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Can’t say I’ve ever broken into anywhere. At least, not anywhere memorable.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I don’t have an exciting answer for this, but I have a pair of Puma shoes that have been around for 4-5 years.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Watermelon

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunrise.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? One of my friends makes it a point to build her other female friends up at any and all costs.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? The only thing I can think of is when I was probably 5 years old I was at a water park and I was supposed to go down the water slide but I was so scared that I couldn’t do it. My family went down before me so I was stuck at the top screaming and crying.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? I mostly wear white socks because I wear pretty heavy duty shoes at work and so anything else gets ruined. But if I’m going out or doing something, I usually like a bit of colour.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends? I'm told that one time at about 4:00 in the morning I went to my neighbours house and was knocking on their garage door for about half an hour singing songs, but I don’t remember that.

33: what’s your fave pastry? Creme puffs.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had a Popple. (Remember Popples?! The Popples still make me smile.) Well, I had several, but my favourite was PC - specifically Sports PC. I don’t still have him anymore and I’m pretty sad about that. But his tail did fall off at one point and oddly enough, I still have his tail!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I usually end up buying stationery items that I never use.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? My mood has been 100% Carly Rae Jepsen since Dedicated came out last Friday.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? My room is often messy, but that doesn’t mean I like it that way.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!? People who use incorrect phrases like “Once and a while” or when people say “should of” instead of “should’ve”

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I have no jewellery.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Hunger Games. I haven’t really enjoyed too many books since then. I’ve been trying to read the Harry Potter series but I’m only moderately enjoying them.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? I do not.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Frick it’s been so long since I’ve done that. Probably a guy who I hooked up with several years ago. I don’t even remember his name.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? The last time I went to the mountains. It’s been close to a year.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Sometimes to a fault.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.? Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Seafood.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Heights. I’m still afraid of them, but now I’d say I’m more scared of things like the ocean and space.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I really do. Especially the ones I really like. Most recent was Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Dedicated” album.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? I don’t collect much anymore. I used to collect Coca-Cola memorabilia, though.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? "Your Type” by Carly Rae Jepsen. I swear I listen to other artists and bands besides CRJ, but she seems to be fitting a lot of the questions here.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Those comics on Instagram with the aliens explaining everyday human activities.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Beetlejuice is the only one of those that I’ve seen in full. Haven’t seen it in probably 20 years so it’s time I give it another go.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My mom after my sister did some stupid things last week and was super cruel to her after.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I can’t remember

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Selflessness, genuine dorkiness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I didn’t reenact the lyrics, but I did sing and reenact the scene from Wayne’s World.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Neither of them.

59: what’s your favorite myth? I still find the whole Bermuda Triangle thing to be interesting.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t know any poetry.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Oh god, I’m a terrible gift giver so I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to just one. Stupidest gift I’ve ever received was a Starbucks gift set. I don’t drink coffee.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Well, I usually put fruit juice into my smoothies, so I guess yeah. And whatever is available.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I have to keep them alphabetical except for my collections which are sorted by size of the collection.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Grey. Like it has been for the past week.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Yes. I’ll call him K.

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Ideal flower crown is not a concept that is even remotely familiar to me.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? depressed.

68: what’s winter like where you live? Fucking long and unbearable.

69: what are your favorite board games? Scategories, The Game of Life, etc.

70: have you ever used an ouija board? yeah

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Iced.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? I could probably benefit from jotting more things down than I do.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Laziness.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Sassy and spunky, but equally kind and compassionate.

75: tell us about your pets! My babies are not babies anymore. They’re feline brother and sister and I’ve had them for more than 15 years. He’s black and my bestest little buddy. She cost me an invitation to my sister’s wedding and I have NO REGRETS about it at all.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? The dishes from dinner.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink I guess?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I find them entertaining, but I wouldn’t put myself in either club.

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Can’t think of anything right now.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? C2 Coconut. Essentially they’re a soft white. I did not choose that colour. It was the builder’s choice and I just haven’t gotten around to painting it yet. Soon one wall is going to be a metallic denim-like blue.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Crystal ball reflecting tropical waters.

82: are/were you good in school? ish.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Michael Jackson’s Dangerous, Social Code’s Rock N Roll or Spice Girls Spice.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have a concept in mind that combines Spice Girls, Power Rangers and LGBT pride. It’s just a matter of designing and getting it done.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Don’t read comics.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? The only concept album I can think of is Green Day’s American Idiot. That one wore thin on me quickly.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Kingsman: Secret Service, Jurassic Park, Twister, and it’s not a movie but I’m going to say The Haunting of Hill House.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Acrylic Paint Pouring

89: are you close to your parents? yeah

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Ehh... Haven’t really explored many places recently and I’m feeling less enthusiastic about Calgary these days. I’ll pass on this one.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’ll be in Massachusetts this time next week. Boston and Provincetown. I’m excited as I’ve never been there.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Out of those two options, drowns in cheese.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My friend Ashley’s birthday was on Saturday.

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Packing and working.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Only once it is forced upon me.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTP-T, Libra, Puffnstuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Last May. Need to change that very, very soon.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. I couldn’t even begin to name those songs right now.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? I’d probably go back 5 years. Whether I’m happy with my life or not, I don’t want to miss any of it.

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ayearofpike · 5 years

Text

The 2010s reprints, all at once

So if Simon & Schuster is going back to the well for Pike’s vampire books, what’s stopping them from bringing back other stories from their one-time best-selling young adult author? Form factor, perhaps. It’s the twenty-first century now, and no self-respecting teen would be caught dead reading a pocket-sized paperback. We need something big and beefy to show that we’re Serious About Literature even as we read about murderous insane girls. Fortunately, he’s written more than a couple continuations that will link together into a handy packaged bind-up. But a lot of these books were originally written twenty years ago or more, when the absence of technology and communications wasn’t something that needed to be addressed to explain why these bastards weren’t better informed. Indeed, new audiences (the ones we in education call “digital natives”) might not even understand the characters’ rationales for action without being able to step back in time and forget what they take for granted.

Is it worth rereading these new editions? How different are they from the originals? Lucky for you, I’ve decided to find out.

Remember Me

Compiles Remember Me, The Return, and The Last Story Simon Pulse, 2010 789 pages ISBN 978-1-4424-0596-7 LOC: PZ7.P626 Re 2010 OCLC: 646299604 Released July 6, 2010 (per B&N)

Since this was the magical bestseller that made Pike who he was in the first place, it shouldn’t be too surprising that not much is changed or updated in this edition. Still, the very nature of the YA market having morphed into the vehicle that allows these stories to be reprinted throws a pretty massive wrinkle (like, even worse than the fact she’s publishing under her white name) into Shari’s expectation that her mom will never read Remember Me. Come on, dude — I guarantee she already read about the vampires.

The only changes I found through all three stories were giving Lenny the Latino gangbanger a CD player rather than a cassette (because 2010), saving the final story on a jump drive rather than a floppy disk (again, 2010), and swapping Shari’s green pants for blue jeans (I guess to match the outfit Jean is wearing when she falls off the balcony?). One thing that hasn’t changed: Third Book Whitewashin’ Shari is still an asshole. You’re lucky I’m so determined to be thorough, otherwise I would have never reread this shit.

To Die For

Compiles Slumber Party and Weekend Point, 2010 408 pages ISBN 978-0-545-26432-1 LOC: not listed OCLC: 679759450 Released September 1, 2010 (per B&N)

Little weirdness here, as this is a Scholastic joint rather than Simon & Schuster, but the covers are all coordinated, down to the typeface. Not sure whether the two houses worked together to try to sell their books (at Pike’s agent’s suggestion?) or whether Point saw an opportunity to mine some back catalog and tried to copy the existing presentation as close as possible.

The oldest viable stories (read: not Cheerleaders) must have some major rewrites pending for a modern audience, you’d think, but it’s not that drastic. The main complication would be these kids being able to reach someone outside the immediate group and report problems, so Pike quickly writes around that with a single line in each story establishing the locale as beyond cell service. They also both turn emergency CB radios into walkie-talkies, which isn’t even close to the same thing. It’s a little hinky at times, especially in accepting that Lara Johnson has packed an alarm clock instead of a phone, but it does the job.

Most of the rest of the changes hinge on contemporary references. Slumber Party loses its Richard-Pryor-lighting-himself-aflame-while-freebasing joke, but keeps the kids watching Dr. Zhivago at the first fateful party. Weekend has to adjust a lot more — party music is no longer on record, David Bowie becomes Bono (replacing a ten-year-old reference in 1985 with a ten-year-old reference in 2010), Angie’s Datsun is now a Camry, and song leaders are finally just cheerleaders. At times, he’s just wiped out a reference altogether: gone are Pat Benatar, Ryan O’Neal and Ali McGraw, Fonzie, Michael Jackson, and most tragically the Carpenters, which undoes a joke at Sol’s expense and removes any understandable sense from the passage they once were in. Oh well. At least he spelled “gringo” correctly in this edition.

Until the End

Compiles the Final Friends trilogy (The Party, The Dance, and The Graduation) Simon Pulse, 2011 846 pages ISBN 978-1-4424-2252-0 LOC: PZ7.P626 Unt 2011 OCLC: 693810612 Released August 30, 2011 (per B&N)

I’ll be honest: I’m not sure what this compilation is doing here. Did anybody clamor at the bit for Final Friends even back in the day? I mean, there must have been some demand to let our boy write a trilogy, but even as a teenager I saw the problems embedded in this tale. Simple time-shifting adjustments weren’t gonna fix those. And this is the beefiest book of the lot, maybe to appeal to young readers who like the huge format and want to show off how much they can read. (I had it in the waiting room of my kid’s doctor this week and another dad said it was the biggest book he’d ever seen.) It’s a lot to plow through for the sake of completeness. Still, we’re committed, right?

I got like 200 pages in and did not see a single change — not even in the computer lab where Bubba is “hacking” into the district grade data bank — which made me worried I was going to just be rereading the same stories over again. And 650 pages later, GUESS WHAT. Literally the only difference is that Jessica, in bemoaning her travails with Bill, says she was “trying to seduce a gay guy” instead of merely “a gay.” Like, even the part about it taking all day to transfer 40 megabytes via modem and filling up a school computer’s hard drive is still there. This was NOT done for new fans. But reading it so fast and soon and smushed together did help me realize that The Rock does indeed have a given name. (I’ll save you the research time: Theodore Gordon.)

Bound to You

Compiles Spellbound and See You Later Simon Pulse, 2012 490 pages ISBN 978-1-4424-5971-7 LOC: PZ7.P626 Bo 2012 OCLC: 777602521 Released August 7, 2012 (per B&N)

Maybe this is the only bind-up where the two stories could have been anything. (The Point book: those were his only two under Scholastic, so it makes sense.) There’s a back catalog of literally two dozen books not otherwise committed that they could compile. So why these two together? OK, sure, we’re four years away from the phrase “sexy lizard teens” entering the lexicon, but for sure Scavenger Hunt is better paired with Spellbound than a story about nuclear war survivors time traveling out of regret. See You Later seems like a really obtuse deep cut to me, but if he was committed to it why not pair it with The Midnight Club, which is similarly about love lost to inevitable death? I don’t really see the connection, and am too lazy to do any rationale research. But I’m not actually mad at the books — they’ve shown as two of my favorites in this reread.

Spellbound, being the oldest of the S&S catalog, does need a little reworking, particularly in the racist elements of an African shaman going to a podunk Old West high school. Pike didn’t take them all out, of course, because we have to know what a dick the boyfriend is by his connection of the dude to savage cavemen. However, the lack of cell phones is very glaring in the bits where they’re trying to find the brother/potential murder victim, and Cindy has to sit around the hospital waiting to be paged. In 2012 it’s inconceivable that high school kids wouldn’t have SOMETHING. You tried to reach the brother at his house, at his friend’s, at his girlfriend’s ... did you call him directly? Such a simple fix: “He’s not answering his cell.” It probably would have made the unease even stronger.

See You Later, hinging as it does on the main character understanding a video game, has its own needs for updating, and does it better than the Final Friends remake. Still, it’s a little slapdash. Becky works in an electronics store instead of a record store, but do these places even sell physical media computer games anymore? Even six years ago that shit was all download-only. And Ray STILL works in a bookstore ... do those still exist? Mervyn’s definitely doesn’t; they went bankrupt in 2008. As for the game itself, it requires 12 gigs of RAM rather than the paltry megabyte, which is what my newish machine runs six years later. (At the time I had ... two gigs?) Also, in the original Mark asked who won the 2010 World Series, which isn’t the future anymore in 2012 ... but it’s weird that he’s now asking about 2020, just eight years off rather than twenty. Most unsettling, though, is how the tenor of international violence rhetoric still rings true for the setting of this story, even though we’re not worried about Communists anymore. The Cold War is long over, but we’ve swung through tolerance and hope and are right back on fear.

Chain Letter

Compiles Chain Letter and The Ancient Evil Simon Pulse, 2013 456 pages ISBN 978-1-4424-7215-0 LOC: PZ7.P626 Ch 2013 OCLC: 852941511 Released July 23, 2013 (per B&N)

Chain Letter was also not originally published by S&S, so it’s interesting that they’ve gotten the rights to print it in this volume. (Though they were compiled in the UK in 1994, so maybe it wasn’t too hard.) By now, though, it feels like they’re reaching, as the teen fiction world shifts yet again to futuristic dystopias and Pike doesn’t really have anything like that. Thirst was on its way out too; the fifth book appeared just before this, and we’ll note that even though Pike didn’t finish the story the sixth has yet to emerge. Curse you, unpredictable teen girls!

Not too much is different from the original editions here. Obviously Pike was throwing in his timely references that had to be cut for understandability (Nastassja Kinski?), but by Chain Letter 2 he’d learned to rein that in. Also, there’s a moment in the first one where Alison yells “Hate you!” at the attacking Caretaker, which always struck me as awkward. This version changes it to “Screw you!” which makes me think Pike originally wrote it as “Fuck you!” and had to bowdlerize for YA. Of course they have to throw some shade at snail mail, too, since that’s how the letters arrive in the first place.

But the main differences are cassette recorders and phones. Obviously the kids aren’t going to tote around a whole bunch of old-school tools when we are now six years into the smartphone era. There’s some nice cleaning up in The Ancient Evil, writing around the idea that people need to (or even CAN) look numbers up in the phone book, but in lots of cases it just makes things awkward. Like, why is Joan going after the driving controls to turn the incriminating recording off if it’s on Kipp’s phone in the backseat? Why do Alison and Brenda have to sit around the kitchen waiting for a return call? Why is Kipp waiting until he gets home to check his voicemail? Did he seriously leave his phone in his room while he ran to the store and left a seven-year-old sister alone at the house? It just makes less and less sense.

You might have seen somewhere online a mention of another compilation, collecting Last Act and Master of Murder. This book does not actually exist. The ISBN and OCLC numbers associated with the title both lead to a British printing of the second half of Final Friends, by Hodder Publishing. I emailed the house just to make sure I wasn’t missing anything, and they responded that they’ve never printed these two stories together. There’s no record of it anywhere else, certainly not on Simon & Schuster’s Pike page, and reviews I’ve found where people have attempted to buy this collection attest to the fact that they’ve actually received a copy of Final Friends Part 2 But Not Book 2 Even Though the Second Half of Book 2 Is In It.

There also used to be another one named on Wikipedia called Time of Death, which was supposed to compile Bury Me Deep and Chain Letter, but why the hell would they do that when Chain Letter has its own sequel already? There’s not any verifiable record of such a book anywhere online, not even a flawed cross-listing like the first.

So fuhgeddaboudit. I’m done reading compilations.

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lolainblue · 6 years

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Jane’s Journal -- Day 127

A/N : This is the final Journal entry. The second book in the series will be starting next.

T/W: Angst. Mentions of past drug use and mental health issues

December 24, 2003 Day 127

I wish I could say that I took Aunt Carys's advice to heart, lept up and called Roger, but a large feature of that Hughes tenacity lies in a sort of stubbornness and bloody-mindedness that makes it hard to change tracks. I started wallowing a little less as I stepped outside myself and saw the bigger picture, but the riff between Roger and myself had grown an into an ocean and I wasn't sure how to bridge it anymore. Somewhere along the line, my anger with him had morphed into shame at the way I had behaved. I missed him with everything that was in me but I was too much of a coward to pick up the phone.

His show would be wrapping up with a Christmas Eve matinee and then, according to Mom, he was going to catch an evening flight home so he could be here for Christmas. He had asked her repeatedly if I would be in attendance. I wouldn't let her say. I wouldn't give her a definitive answer. She had finally lost her temper with me and pointed out that just because I was the one that brought Roger into our family it didn't give me the right to single-handedly toss him out. He'd already had enough of that in his life. It was time for me to grow up and stop behaving as if this were some middle school spat. Roger was family. We had all agreed on that a long time ago, and in our family, we didn't throw people away when they upset us.

Properly cowed, I came up with a plan and booked a flight to New York. I figured I need to settle things at the apartment at the very least and I thought maybe Roger and I could share the flight back and have a long overdue talk. When I showed up at the apartment on the 23rd however, there was no sign of Roger at our place, and judging by the refrigerator contents he hadn't been staying there recently. My plan had hit a snag.

I was left alone to drift aimlessly through the now alien space. When I walked into my bedroom my heart nearly stopped. I realized the last time I had set foot in the place was before flying out to see Shannon back in August. The room was still a mess from packing, with rejected clothing piled on the bed. I spotted his old Def Leppard t-shirt that I had often slept in when he was gone, and several 30 Seconds to Mars t-shirts I had considered taking with me but ultimately left behind. My stomach turned as I picked the first one up, and I had brought it to my nose to see if there was a trace of his scent left behind before I even realized what I was doing. Angry with myself, I tossed it onto the center of the bed before grabbing the wastebasket from under my desk. I started throwing in everything that reminded me of Shannon or Jared, walking through the house to gather CD's and postcards, notes, pictures, stuffed animals from the midway, even the boots I had bought to wear to the first concert of theirs I had gone to. I was surprised how much of it there was. I tossed the bag into the hall closet in case Roger wanted any of it and went back to packing up my room.

I spent that night in the apartment by myself. I had hoped Roger might come home despite indications that he wasn't living there anymore but he never appeared. I spent the next morning finishing my packing, my belongings all sorted into neatly labeled boxes in the center of my bedroom that I could easily have a service come and pick up later. Then I ordered lunch, showered and dressed for the theater.

The performance was sold out so I was reduced to taking my chances with whatever scalpers would be on hand. I knew it was risky, but “Fortuna favet fatius.', fortune favors fools and soon I found myself with a rather choice seat, nervously thumbing the glossy program and waiting for the show to start.

Our junior year the drama department had put on an adaptation of Anne of Green Gables. Roger had done amazingly well at the audition and had landed the part of Gilbert Blythe. I was overjoyed. Anne of Green Gables was one of my favorite books and I was so proud of Roger. He'd done a few shows before and had been okay, and he'd worked very hard rehearsing for the part but when it came time for the actual performance he had bombed. It wasn't just simple stage fright, he had suddenly become that weird kid in the fourth-grade play that said all his lines in a strange falsetto while he grinned at the audience and did incongruous things with his hands. He refused to go on after the first night and the understudy had to finish the run. He had been heartbroken. He'd already made big plans to become a famous actor, it was part of our “Roger and Janey Take Over the World” scheme, and having his hopes dashed just crushed him. It had taken months of Daphne nagging him to get him to start taking acting classes. I wasn't sure how we had gotten from there to here, him starring as Bob Cratchett in NYC in a not exactly Broadway but not exactly a dive theater either production of A Christmas Carol. I hoped that we would be able to iron things out so he could share that journey with me.

To say I was terrified when he made that first appearance on stage would be putting it mildly. But to be honest, if I hadn't known it was Roger in the role I might have not even realized. He had transformed himself completely, And where the hell had that British accent come from? I know being American I probably wasn't the best judge but he sounded spot on to my ears. I was completely blown away by his performance, and judging by the people sitting around me, so was the rest of the audience. I was bursting with pride by the time the curtain fell.

I am going to tell you right now that whoever says beauty is overrated is lying to you. I have lived on both sides of that road. Plain Jane would have been ushered back out into the street with the rest of the crowd. I knew I was going to need Hot Jane today so I had come prepared, dressed to the teeth, carefully coiffed and wearing what felt like half the Barney's cosmetic counter on my face. It took a total of eight minutes to charm my way backstage to the dressing rooms.

Roger had just sat down to start removing his makeup and there was a girl seated on the table in front of him, giggling and tossing her hair while she crossed and uncrossed her obscenely long legs. Roger looked about as interested as a lion who'd been offered a broccoli sandwich. I giggled at the sight and Roger dropped the sponge he had been holding before rapidly turning my way.

“Janey?”

“Hey, Rog.” My mouth was suddenly dry but my eyes weren't. It felt like we were seeing each other after being separated by war, tired and battered bystanders who had found each other again at a refugee camp. I had worried that he would be angry with me, that I had been so steadfastly cold with him that he would never be more than an acquaintance again. Instead, he lept to his feet, nearly knocking his hapless admirer off her perch and rushed toward me, sweeping me up in his arms and swinging me around so enthusiastically that one of my wildly impractical heels went flying off my foot. I remembered again he was too good for me.

“I'm so sorry, Roger,” I tried to explain. “I should have come to you and tried to work things out months ago....”

“Hush,” he told me as he sat me back down and scrambled after the shoe I had lost. “I was terrible to you when you needed me. You don't have anything to apologize for.”

“But I do....” I protested.

“Let me get cleaned up and changed and then we can argue about it all you want,” he said. The girl who had been flirting with him gave me a haughty look and then flounced off, probably wrongly assuming I was her competition. “Oh shit, I've got a flight back home tonight! Aren't you going home for Christmas?”

I nodded. “Mom gave me your flight info. I came into town to see you last night but you weren't home. I packed up my things at the apartment but I'm on the flight home with you.”

Roger frowned and sat down in his chair again with a heavy thud. “I don't understand. What did you pack? Why?”

“I'm going to Tanzania with a volunteer group. I don't know when I'll be back in the States. It could be months or it literally be years. I don't need anything that's there, and I figure if you wanted to sell the place or move if everything was already packed up all you'd have to do is call a service to come collect it. I can just pay for a storage until I suss out what to do next.”

“Janey...” The smile that been on Roger's face when he embraced me was gone and I felt terrible. “I thought that...” He swallowed hard and picked up the makeup removal pad again and started dabbing harshly at his face. “So you are still mad, at me.”

“No.”

“Then why are you leaving me again?”

“I'm not leaving you, Roger. I'm trying to fix myself.”

“You're not broken.”

“Actually, yeah, I really am. But I'm working on it.”

He didn't say anything else as he continued washing away the stage makeup. When he had finished he looked back at me and I swear his face looked years older, deeply tired in a way I had never seen on him before. I wondered what had happened to him during the last 127 days. A bad feeling began to take root in my gut.

“You were brilliant out there, Roger. I'm so proud of you,” I offered.

He nodded. “Can we go home now?”

“Sure,” I said, spotting his coat hanging on the wall and handing it to him. “Anything you want.”

*************************************

Roger already had an overnight bag ready for his trip to the airport but I needed to swing back by our place so we hopped on the C-Line for a last trip home together. He was quiet the entire way, and although I tried to fill the awkward silence with tales of my travels, Roger never engaged, just quietly nodded and folded his hands over and over themselves. I didn't want to cause a scene in public so I let it go and just kept on with the nervous chatter but I was so relieved to finally reach our stop I practically jumped off the train and power walked until we were inside our building and through the front door.

“When is the last time you were even home?” I asked him as we shed our coats in the foyer.

“A couple of days ago, actually. We had a cast thing last night. That's why I wasn't here,” he explained.

“Oh.” I had kind of hoped he'd been staying with someone else maybe, or just leading too fabulous a life to be bothered to come back to an empty apartment. I looked at the keychain in my hands, the door key still separated from the rest. “Do you want me to leave my key?” I asked. “It doesn't seem right for me to just come and go when I'm not really living here anymore.”

“I thought you were back. When you showed up at the theater, here, in New York and all... well I just thought you were back.”

I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, not meeting his eyes. “I already committed to this volunteer thing, Roger. And I think it's going to be good for me. I'm getting back out in the world again, for real, not just a spoiled little party girl.”

“You aren't a spoiled little party girl, Jane.” Roger's voice was quiet and uneven and I didn't know where this was going but I could feel my own lips starting to tremble.

“I was so spoiled and helpless and blind....” I managed to mutter before he cut me off.

“It wasn't your fault Jane. You don't have to do penance.”

“I knew better. Or at least I should have. You told me how Shannon was, I saw it myself before I even let him back in...”

“I don't mean Shannon.” Roger avoiding looking at me when he said it, but the lump in my throat was there just the same.

“Roger. Please don't....”

“Someone has to say it, Jane.”

“No, they don't. It's not like I don't know.”

“I think it is. Do you want to know what I've done for the last five months? I've worked and seen a therapist. Because as broken as you think you are I'm a hundred times worse.” Roger sat down in the middle of the floor, crossing his long legs one over the other. “I could never help him, Jane. I couldn't reach him, I couldn't stop him, and couldn't stop you or me...”

I sat down on the floor across from Roger, pulling his hands into my lap. “Roger, it wasn't like that.”

“I was so fucking scared, Jane. Jared said you had seemed so hurt, you were completely lost, and you weren't talking to anyone...”

I hadn't thought of things that way. I really hadn't thought much of anything through at that point, I was a whirlwind of my own grief and anger. “I'm sorry, Roger. I would never leave you like that. I would never....” A chill like ice water in my veins passed over me. “Roger, what do you mean you couldn't stop you?”

“Not like that,” he said a little too quickly, pulling his hands back from me. “I just … dammit, Jane. Everyone keeps leaving, like I'm nothing. Jefferson didn't even... “ Roger's breathing had become shallow and I could see the distress in his eyes. “The only woman I've ever dated longer than a week dumped me while pretty much saying she could do better. My mother died and my entire family apparently voted to keep me away from the funeral. I pushed my best friend away. I pushed all my friends away, all the good ones that is. The only ones that would even put up with my shit...”

Roger let himself fall forward, his head nestling in my lap. I wrapped my arms around him as best I could. “I'm so sorry, Roger. I knew you were in trouble. I tried to help...”

“I know,” he sniffled. “I was so angry with you for running off with Shannon but I never told you how bad things were for me. I tried to numb it. It didn't help.”

Boy that was one area I did know about. “No, it never does,” I observed.

“Promise you won't hate me, Jane.”

“What? I would never hate you, Roger. I think I've been as angry with you as I ever have the capacity to be. Like I'm done now. I've used it all up, forever, for the rest of our lives. There is nothing that could make me hate you.”

Roger began to sob and I started to cry with him. If I had thought, even for a second, that things were this bad with him I'd have chucked my whole temper tantrum walkabout right then and there and gone to him. I felt terrible. And I didn't even begin to know how to make it up to him.

“Do you remember that night that Shannon was here, and I was so grouchy, and I disappeared all night?”

“Jesus, how could I fucking forget, Rog. You were a mess when you came home. Like you'd been dragged through every gutter in Manhattan.” Roger may have been scared when I had my meltdown but he had scared the daylights out of me weeks before that.

“I did something...” he sniffled wetly and I leaned back just enough to reach the box of tissues on the console table behind us.

“Have you talked to your therapist about this?” I asked him as handed him the tissue.

Roger blew his nose and nodded. “I should have talked to you though. That day. Before I did it. But I got it in my head that you didn't count, that you were just stuck with me somehow....” he trailed off again. “I was so fucking stupid, Janey, and I'm sorry, and if I could take it back....”

I wrapped myself around him, the way I had in the shower that afternoon, and held him as tightly as I could get my arms to latch onto him. “it's okay. Whatever happened, it's over now.”

Roger stopped crying and he gripped my arm tightly. When he spoke again his voice was even softer than before, and flat, as if he were trying to keep as much distance as possible between himself and what he was telling me. “I sold myself that night. For drugs," he confessed.

“What?” I heard the words but I couldn't get them to make any kind of sense. “Why would you do something like that? You didn't need the money, I know you didn't. And I didn't think you were using that much....”

“it wasn't for the drugs or the money,” Roger confessed weakly. “I just wanted to have value. I wanted to be worth something. Turns out I'm worth quite a bit in ketamine and coke.”

“Oh Jesus," was the only thing I could manage to choke out.

“Yeah, he and I aren't on speaking terms,” Roger joked weakly.

I thought back again to that day, to stripping off Roger's stained and soiled clothing, the marks on his skin, and I wanted to throw up. I could actually feel my stomach turning and I looked around for something to vomit into. I told myself I couldn't though. I couldn't let Roger think that I found him sickening. I didn't want him to take it as a rejection. I gulped in air and closed my eyes and tried to get my heart under control. How the fuck had we come to this? “Roger you need to see someone.” I protested.

“I am,” he reminded me.

“Well, I don't think it's doing you much good. Look at you.”

“Jane, this happened back in July. I am able to tell you about it now because I've been seeing someone. I have a long way to go but I”m working on getting better too. I was just hoping we could do it together.”

I grabbed him even more tightly, even though it was too late to protect him now. Of course, we could do it together. Nothing else mattered to me anymore except keeping Roger safe. “Okay, okay, sure.” I couldn't stop myself from sobbing and Roger began rocking us both back and forth. “I'll do anything it takes. Just please don't... please don't....”

“Same for you,” he sobbed back at me.

“I love you, Roger. I don't need anyone else.” I told him. “I won't ever leave you again.”

“I love you too, Janey. And you will. But it will be on our terms next time and we'll be ready.”

We cried on that floor together for the better part of an hour before we had to clean ourselves up and head to the airport. By the time we got back to my parent's house we had pasted our smiles back in place and for the all the world we looked just like we always had, two best friends, out to take on the world together. But we had torn the lid off and looked inside and we had seen how deep the cracks in our souls went. I didn't know how we were going to do it, but we were determined not lose each other to the darkness inside them. Nothing was going to drive us apart again.

@thepromiseofanend @msroxyblog@nikkitasevoli@maliciousalishious@llfd1977 @mustlove6277@fyeahproudglambert @little-poptart @snewsome756@guccilowell

#TB: Jane's Journal #jared leto fanfiction #jared leto fic #shannon leto fanfiction #shannon leto fic #30 seconds to mars fanfiction

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t-baba · 4 years

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How to find the minimal CSS framework for you

#441 — May 20, 2020

Read on the Web

Frontend Focus

A Drop-in Minimal CSS Framework Switcher — There are a lot of so called ‘minimal’ CSS systems out there, such as new.css and GitHub’s Primer but it can be hard to sort through them for something you’d like. Enter this ‘minimal CSS framework switcher’ where you get to preview lots of minimal CSS frameworks on a single page. Alternatively, you can find a list of all the frameworks involved here.

Liam Doherty

What's New in Lighthouse 6.0 — Lighthouse 6 (the automated website UX auditing tool) has just dropped. Some of the changes include new metrics, audits for unused JavaScript, changes to the Chrome extension, and lots more.

Connor Clark

Faster CI/CD for All Your Software Projects Using Buildkite — See how Shopify scaled from 300 to 1800 engineers while keeping their build times under 5 minutes.

Buildkite sponsor

Second-Guessing the Modern Web — What if everyone’s wrong? Can we solve things in a better way that single page applications? Interesting thought piece and Rich Harris replied with In Defense of the Modern Web.

Tom MacWright

Just How Bad Is The ICO's Draft 'Age Appropriate' Design Code? — The author proclaims that as “a policy wonk, a technologist, a privacy campaigner, and as a parent” the UK data protection regulator’s proposed ‘Age Appropriate Design Code’ is one of the worst proposals she’s ever seen, and could result in age-gating across the internet, and a huge increase in data collection.

Heather Burns

What's New in Chrome 83 for Developers? — Version 83 is rolling out to stable now, and adds trusted types support, introduces changes to styling in HTML form controls, and more. Here’s a four-minute video version that covers the changes if you’d prefer. Secure DNS (DNS-over-HTTPS) support is another interesting development.

Pete Le Page (Google)

▶ Understanding Cumulative Layout Shift — Content moving unexpectedly on a page can be really irritating. This 20-minute explainer looks at the new ‘Cumulative Layout Shift’ speed metric (reported in Lightouse 6.0) and how it can help developers understand the impact of this problem on their pages.

Annie Sullivan and Steve Kobes

Microsoft Shows Off Its Edge Browser Running on Linux — Spotted at Microsoft’s Build 2020 conf where Microsoft has been releasing things left, right, and center like a package manager for Windows and Windows Terminal 1.0.

Rich Woods

⚡️ Quick bits:

Microsoft showed off a bunch of new Edge features in this snazzy video from their annual Build conference.

Support for the :where() pseudo class is now in the latest Safari preview.

Mozilla has launched a new accessibility blog featuring posts from the Firefox Accessibility Team.

How to center things in CSS is pretty much evergreen content, right...? 😅

I asked on Twitter whether it's 'frontend', 'front-end' or 'front end'. Here are the results.

Microsoft's Edge browser now has its own origin trials system with a couple of experiments already live.

A tab grouping feature is coming to Chrome.

💻 Jobs

Find a Job Through Vettery — Vettery specializes in tech roles and is completely free for job seekers. Create a profile to get started.

Vettery

Frontend Developer at X-Team (Remote) — Join X-Team and work on projects for companies like Riot Games, FOX, Coinbase, and more. Work from anywhere.

X-Team

ℹ️ Interested in running a job listing in Frontend Focus? There's more info here.

📙 Tutorials & Opinion

Minimalist HTML — The irony here is that this blog is literally in plain text. But overall, some good points about how to keep your HTML brief, should you want to reduce character counts.

Ryan Jacobs

The Need for Speed, 23 Years Later — In this somewhat historical look at website and internet speed, Kathryn looks at the fact that page speeds have not improved over time in spite of the increase in internet speed.

Kathryn Whitenton

Using CSS calc() to Figure Out Optimal Line-height — A quick, but math-heavy post by Jesús Ricarte on optimal line-height values that are more maintainable.

Jesús Ricarte

IE11 Mainstream End Of Life in Oct 2020 — Some interesting thoughts on Windows 10 and supporting IE11. As the author points out, he made up the term ‘mainstream EOL’ and he links to a response from an Edge team member.

Shawn Wang

Form Design: Multiple Inputs Versus One Input — Some web forms use multiple inputs for what really should be a single unit of data. This usability guide looks at the drawbacks of that approach and how to improve the experience.

adam silver

Safe/Unsafe Alignment in CSS Flexbox — This is a brief look at the new safe keyword that can be used with the align-items property in Flexbox, so far only supported in Firefox.

stefan judis

Detect Inactive Users with The Idle Detection API — Currently in development, this API can be used to find out when a user isn’t actively using their device.

Thomas Steiner

Stop Setting The Language of Your Website Based On User Location — A little PSA on why this might not always be the best idea…

Pedro Pimenta

🔧 Code, Tools and Resources

Animal Crossing: Isabelle's Day Off — Yep, I’m playing Animal Crossing at the moment, so felt it appropriate to include this great little animated diorama created with CSS. There’s also a neat time-lapse video of it all being put together. Impressive!

Tee Diang codepen

MongoDB Is Easy. Now Make It Powerful. Free Download for 30 Days.

Studio 3T sponsor

IntersectionObserver Visualizer — If you’re new to using the IntersectionObserver API, this useful interactive demo might help you comprehend it a little better.

michelle barker

Stylemug: A CSS-in-JS Library with Support for Atomic CSS Extraction — Another solution on the CSS-in-JS scene that features the ability to extract CSS rules to a .css file, which then replaces the stylesheet in your bundle.

Matthias Van Parijs

new.css: A Classless CSS Framework to Write Modern Websites using Only HTML — Weighs only ~4.5kb. Demo here.

🐦 ...spotted on Twitter

Here's a list of all the different length units you can use in CSS. I don't think I was familar with the Q unit.

by via Frontend Focus https://ift.tt/2ZlOl4V

#HTML5 Branding #HTML5 Weekly

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suckitsurveys · 5 years

Text

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? I would like to think that I’d be cool and Will and I would just go hang out somewhere but in reality I’d probably pass out. Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? No. Do you know what it’s like to be truly happy? Yes. Are there any musical instruments in the room you’re in? Nope.

Are there any in your house at all? In my apartment, no. What electronics are in your room? (DVD player, CD player, etc) In our bedroom there’s a TV. Do you have a box anywhere with special items you’ll to keep forever in it? Yes. Do you have cordless phones in your house or not? Nope. If a horrible rumor was started about you and you found out who started it, what would you do with the person who started it? I’m not in high school thanks. Are there any keyboards in your house that aren’t being use? Yes. Do you know who Draco Malfoy is? Uh huh. If you had to, would you rather dye your hair red or black? Red. Do you have any pictures of yourself on your bedroom walls? Not in our bedroom but in our living room. Does your dad collect anything? DVDs, music/movie magazines, hats, old movie stills. Do you like all the new Disney movies like Wall-e more then the old cartoon ones, like Snow White and the Lion King? The classics have a special place in my heart but i enjoy the newer ones more these days. Especially Pixar ones. Do you ever press flowers into books so they’ll flatten all nicely? I have. My mother was really isn’t that If you had a chance to marry Mason Musso, would you? Is that the kid from Hannah Montana? Are the socks you’re wearing your favorite color? What about your shirt? I like blues, yes. What’s better, a desktop or laptop? Explain. I haven’t used a laptop in AGES. I do mostly everything either on my phone or at my desktop at work. Describe the worst day of your life. The day my mom died. Describe the happiest day of your life. The days my nieces were born. Do you know what ‘elaborate’ means? Yes. What about evidently? Yes. What’s the most you’ll pay for a pair of shoes? $100 for Birkenstocks i need new ones so baaaaaaaaaaaaad. Do you prefer kisses on the nose, cheek or forehead? Yes. How many people do you know in your english class? I’m done with school. Have you ever stolen a question from another survey while making one? I’ve used generic questions before. What can a guy do to prove he’s a gentleman? Don’t be an asshole. Is age just a number? To a degree. Is there someone who makes your stomach feel weak? In a bad way? Yes. I literally get sick to my stomach when I’m around my brother in law. Do your parents still hide chocolate eggs around on Easter for you? No. They never hid chocolate ones. We always hid hard boiled ones. What do you typically do on Easter Day? For the last 5 years we’ve been celebrating with my sister and her daughter. We do Easter baskets, dye eggs, and have an egg hunt. Then we eat an early dinner. We’ve also been taking this cute picture since my sister was pregnant with my niece. It started with her putting bunny ears on her belly. Then for my niece’s first Easter, we took a picture of her wearing the same bunny ears while my sister held her in front of her. We’ve been doing it every year since. Last year the picture included my niece with bunny ears and sister putting bunny ears on her pregnant belly again. I can’t wait to take this year’s picture with both of my nieces!! Does it annoy you when people say the wrong form? What? The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? I don’t have a crush. If my husband did that I’d kiss back. We drunk kiss all the time haha. Do you prefer new questions in surveys or the typical name, age, etc? New, more interesting questions that allow me to elaborate. Are you embarrassed to tell people your weight? A little. Is there anyone you literally need to exist? Sure. Do you know what the difference between ‘your’ and 'you’re’ is? Of course. If it’s snowing, is Christmas extra special? YES that’s the only time I like snow. Do you know what AFV stands for? America’s Funniest Videos? Do you think 30$ for a pair of jeans is cheap? It’s about what I pay. Do you have any special plans for spring break? I don’t have a legit spring break but for my niece’s spring break I took a week off so we could go to Tennessee. Think of any one of your friends’. What is their mom’s name? Cindy. What is their favorite movie and TV show? My friend’s mom’s? I have no idea. When is the last time you two hung out one on one? Never. Have you ever exchanged presents with this person? I don’t believe so. She bought me dinner while I was in Boston a long time ago if that counts. Have your parents ever told you a frightening lie about something so you wouldn’t do it? Probably. Would you have a career you can’t stand if you made a lot of money? I don’t know. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt to say goodbye? Yes. Do you think it’s stupid when people have x’s in their username? Whatever. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? A nice night out/in. What does your hotmail username mean? I have one that’s actually linked to my FB. It’s the name of a Cake song. Root beer or orange soda? Root Beer. Do questions about sex in surveys make you uncomfortable? Nope. Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? What? Uhhhhhhhhhhh. Yes. I have a shirt with pineapples on it. I think that’s it. I have leggings with watermelons on them too. OH WAIT I also have a shirt from a hot dog stand with a hot dog on it haha. Do ever have days when you feel really ugly? Yes. If the last person you spoke to on AIM/MSN kissed you, what would you do? Good lord I don’t remember who that was. Do you remember why you made the last mistake you did? I accidentally replied with the wrong signature to an email a little while ago lol. Do you plan on seeing the Hannah Montana movie? Wow, this is old. Anyways, I did see haha. Did you check how many calories the last thing you ate had? Nope. If you were interviewed for your best talent, what would that talent be? Useless knowledge about a cartoon horse. Do you know the chicken dance?

If you asked your mom to describe you, what do you think she’d say? Nothing because she’s dead. If a random person asked how old you are, would you tell them? I mean. I don’t know. What are you looking forward to? VACATION. Do you ever wish you had a different family? No. Different friends? No. Do you ever have days when you just want to stay in bed all day long? Yes. Is turkey the best part about the holidays? No.

#surveys

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arthur-recaps · 7 years

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I apologize for skipping recaps for the last two weeks but I am starting a new job and have been working late to reach out in my network to find my replacement and finish up my projects to make things smoother for my replacement. My new job starts next week and I will hopefully enter my groove again. Just to be safe, I am queuing up another recap to run next Tuesday as well.

Arthur surmises that the world can be divided into things that adults like and things that kids like. He thinks about the time Jane and David took him to see the foreign film Il Straneri, which was apparently about two people who never meet but throw coins in the same fountain. Arthur is confused as to why his parents think it’s such a great movie and I got to tell you Arthur, some day you will be an adult and still not get why other people like things. I think House of Cards is overrated but there’s a bunch of people who want to give that show a bunch of awards.

Similarly, modern art can be hard for kids to understand. All they see is the same scribbles and shit they did back in kindergarten and here’s some 30-year old person getting paid thousands of bucks to do it on a bigger sheet of paper. Arthur is skeptical of the praise Muffy gives to a painting and she admits that she doesn’t like it but her dad does so she wants to give it a try.

Ed announces that he has bought the painting and it will be installed in Muffy’s room. It’s not the ugliest thing in the world but if Ed really liked the style, he could have just gone down to the local Hobby Lobby, picked up some paints and canvas, and let a four year old go to town.

Am I wrong?

It’s morning at Chez Crosswire and Muffy is presented with concert tickets on her plate. She thinks it’s for the Tween Dream concert but Ed explains that the opera is playing his favorite, George Bizet’s Carmen, and he wants Muffy to accompany him. Side note: it’s been very much implied that the Crosswires are “new money”, especially with Ed’s job as a used car salesman but I like that he has “sophisticated” interests like the opera. I totally did not see that coming from a guy who uses car euphemisms when coaching the kids’ soccer team.

Muffy is a little bummed that the tickets aren’t for something that she’d like, but she hints to Ed that she’s going to need an outfit and he promptly hands over fifty bucks. I need Muffy to teach a class on how to become a sugar baby and swindle rich men out of money.

Muffy takes Francine and Prunella to go shopping with her and give opinions on outfits. Prunella declares that opera is nothing more than “people in silly costumes in a language you don’t understand” and Muffy brushes it off, saying that maybe Prunella isn’t sophisticated enough to appreciate it. Prunella snottily replies that she’s actually been to an opera and it was boring as hell, thank you very much. She also bets that Muffy will fall asleep before the overture.

To add insult to injury, Francine tells Muffy that the dress she’s trying on makes her look like a rice pudding.

Well, if your girls won’t tell you the truth, who will?

Muffy decides that perhaps it would not be a bad idea to listen to some opera before she actually goes to get an idea of what it would be like. She asks Bailey if he knows anything about opera and he responds by singing a selection from Wagner’s Ring Cycle.

Show-off,

Muffy is not impressed by her chauffeur’s Italian singing (Which she should be! How many people can sing like that?!) and does not like the idea of sitting through four hours of that. Then Bailey adds that opera lengths vary; Ring Cycle lasts for sixteen hours.

Muffy’s reaction:

Ed tucks Muffy in for bed and tells her that he can’t wait to go to the opera. Muffy dreams that they are at the opera, watching what the Arthur Wiki tells me is a mishmash of Rossini’s The Barber of Seville and Wagner’s Die Walküre, which is pretty impressive since Muffy doesn’t know jack about opera. In her dream, Muffy falls asleep during the show and her snoring is so loud that the whole theater, including the singers, stop to look at her. She wakes up and tries to applaud the show, calling, “Bravo!” Then she realizes the show still isn’t over and sits down, embarrassed.

At school, Francine suggests that Muffy just tell her dad that she doesn’t want to go so Muffy can stop worrying about whether she’ll like it or fall asleep. Muffy insists that she can’t because Ed is really looking forward to seeing the show with her. Francine asks what the opera is about and to their surprise, Binky interjects, describing Carmen as “professional wrestling” set to great music. He invites Muffy to come to his house after school to listen to the CD and gives her the basic plot: Don Jose is a soldier who falls in love with gypsy Carmen. He quits the army and leaves his fiance and becomes a bandit to be with her, but then Carmen falls in love with a bullfighter and leaves Don Jose.

As she listens to the music, Muffy pictures herself and her friends as the characters. Now, I know most of these voice actors are kids, but they don’t really have a strong set of pipes. Nevertheless, I like how the writers have reworked most of the plot details of Carmen to be more family-friendly. For example, Prunella and Francine work in a gum factory instead of a cigarette one and the soldiers sing for Muffy to let them take her to the opera, instead of asking her to choose a lover. Muffy sings back that she prefers boy bands and thinks the opera is “for tired old fools” and “soldiers who make minimum wage.”

Ouch.

Still, Binky, in the Don Jose role, literally drags Muffy to the opera against her protests. Then Rodney Gilfrey comes down on a flying bull and encourages Muffy to give opera a chance. Muffy immediately becomes more enthusiastic and runs after Rodney, much to Binky’s anger. He sprinkles sleeping powder on her so she’ll sleep through the show but he overdoes the dosage and she presumably dies.

Side note: I was very surprised to see that Rodney Gilfry is a blonde white dude because his animated version made me think he was black or at least, very tan. Observe:

Anyway, Muffy comes out of her daydream and tells Binky it was amazing. He is surprised because she slept through the whole show and snored.

Muffy worries that she is hopeless.

Muffy is even willing to return the gorgeous dress she bought so she doesn’t have to go the opera. She admits to her mom that she doesn’t like opera but Mary Alice convinces her to give it a chance. She tells Muffy that she didn’t like opera either and now it’s one of her favorite things. Muffy counters that it probably helps that Mary Alice is a grown up so Mary Alice gives her a pair of opera glasses, saying that the opera is more enjoyable when she can see the actors’ expressions.

Muffy is still apprehensive about enjoying the opera when she finally goes but just like Mary Alice predicted, she really likes the show! She even tears up at the end when Carmen dies. I’m not tagging this as spoiler because a 200-year old opera and there was even a version with Beyonce so we should all know what happens by now.

At the end of the episode, she is seen telling Francine over the phone that she is going to see an opera is Crown City and supervising Bailey hang up a framed autographed poster of Rodney Glifry.

It’s lights, camera, and opera for that other shitty painting.

Grade: A (This was very well written and well paced and I liked that the writers took the time to insert so many little details about opera in Muffy’s fantasies. I also like that the lesson here is for kids to take a chance on things they think are too adult and “boring”, but other than that, there really wasn’t anything that set me on fire her. It was a good, strong episode but it wasn’t amazing enough to be an A+. I can tell you that I’m a little divided on the dig Rodney Gilfry sang about Tween Dream being “teeny bopper trash.” I mean, Tween Dream probably is going to go down in the Music Hall of Fame but I don’t really like that whatever girls like, especially very girly girls like Muffy, must be trashy and unsophisticated. I mean, the Spice Girls and *NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys really had a big influence on kids even if they aren’t as artistically complex as The Beatles, who by the way, had a huge teen girl fanbase in their early years. That’s the only problem I had but I swear it’s not what prevented this from being an A+. I think if they wanted to get a +, they could have tried a little harder with the songs in Muffy’s fantasy. The rhymes and singing were really basic and even Rodney Gilfry could only elevate it so much.)

Rating: 79% intense. The opera is intense.

Will Muffy like the opera? It's not over until the fat lady sings! #ArthurRecap I apologize for skipping recaps for the last two weeks but I am starting a new job and have been working late to reach out in my network to find my replacement and finish up my projects to make things smoother for my replacement.

#Arthur #Arthur: Season 9 #Bailey #Ed Crosswire #Grade: A #Lights Camera Opera!#Muffy Crosswire #Prunella Deegan #Rodney Gilfry #Television #TV #TV Recap

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the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt · 7 years

Text

Rum and Cupcakes (Chapter 4)

Here’s the next chapter in the story of cupcake baker Emma trying very hard not to like the new bookstore owner Killian. Beware: pure cuteness ahead. Enjoy, @a-city-dove !

Chapter 1 2 3

Ao3

Emma was exhausted when she got home after helping Killian until nearly 1:30 am, but rather than sleep like she definitely should have, she stayed up and finished David Copperfield. She ended up getting only two hours of sleep before her alarm blared from her phone when her natural body clock didn’t wake her. Emma groaned and pulled a pillow over her ears, but she was glad she set the alarm on as backup; she definitely would have been late for work that morning without it. She started to make some coffee before running back upstairs to shower. After rushing around to get dressed, she poured the coffee into a very large thermos and grabbed her jacket and keys. She still had plenty of time to get to work, but she wanted to stop by Killian’s first to give him his book back. And to see him. Emma barely had her car in park before she was running to knock on Killian’s door. He answered,

“Swan! It’s rather early.” At least he didn’t look shocked to see her this time.

“I know, but I wanted to get here before I started work. I finished the book.” She held it out for him to take back. She had removed his sticky notes the night before, putting them on her refrigerator at home.

“Keep it. I own a bookstore, not a library.” He put his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Then let me at least pay for it.” He shook his head no.

“Think of it as a gift, love.” She tightened her grip on the book and couldn’t quite hide her smile.

“Thank you, Killian.” He walked to a box and pulled out a book, a sticky note already fixed to the cover. He handed it to her.

“Here. Your next read. Also a gift.” She looked at the book, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. “Really?”

“Alas, my copies of Peter Pan still haven’t been unboxed yet. Give it a chance.”

“Got a thing for fairytales?” He smirked.

“Read the sticky note.” She did:

“Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality”

“Escapist fiction,” he stated like it was obvious. She nodded.

“I’ll give it a try.”

“Good." He took his bottom lip between his teeth. “As much as I value your company, and I really do, Swan, you should probably start making some cupcakes.” He pointed at a clock hanging above the door of his shop.

“Crap. You’re right. I have to go.” She headed for the door with Killian following closely at her heels.

“You forgot your rather large coffee cup.” He handed her the thermos.

“Thanks.” She took it, tucking her new book under her arm. “I’ll see you around.”

“See you, Swan.” Emma flashed Killian a smile as she raced across the street to start baking. She skipped breakfast to talk to him, so she decided to combine work and eating. She made a chocolate covered bacon cupcake and a cranberry orange flavored one. She figured she’d get bacon and orange juice. For her last morning flavor, she made a vanilla cake with cinnamon icing and crushed frosted flakes for topping. Cereal, orange juice, and bacon- seemed like a decent breakfast to Emma. She made a few extra cupcakes in each batch, which were set aside for her to nibble on as she dealt with customers and read her new book. Emma took a pen and the sticky notes she kept by the register and quickly scrawled on it before boxing one of each of the cupcakes and running the box to Killian on her lunch break. She slipped in the door and left it on the desk when she didn’t see him. She made her way back to her shop to prepare some cupcakes for the afternoon.

Killian came in from grabbing some lunch with Robin to find a box on his table. He read the note on top before smiling at the contents and eating them, despite the fact that he had literally just finished lunch:

It's a good thing you didn’t want your book back. I may or may not have marked up some quotes that spoke to me. Like this one, which made me think of you, “These books were a way of escaping from the unhappiness of my life.” Escapist fiction. Sorry I made us both miss breakfast. Hope these make up for it. -Emma Swan

Back at Swan’s Cupcakes, the coffee and cupcakes weren’t exactly working on Emma. She decided to remedy her grogginess with some mocha cupcakes for the afternoon crowd. Emma made a chocolate cupcake with a coffee icing, topped with a dark chocolate covered espresso bean. The mocha cupcakes were joined by cinnamon roll cupcakes and chocolate covered strawberry cupcakes. She tasted her afternoon creations, feeling pretty good about herself as she set them out. Emma made a mental note to call Ruby later and tell her how well she’s doing now. And Emma did promise to tell Ruby all about the person who moved into her old shop; Ruby was going to laugh when Emma told her it was Killian. Emma turned her attention back to Alice and her Wonderland adventures to pass the time as she waited for the end of the work day. She was more than ready to collapse the second she got home. Emma even made herself some chicken nuggets at work so she wouldn’t have to stay up later to eat dinner. Her last customer left as she was finishing her dinner, so she paused her eating to quickly clean up. When the shop was sufficiently cleared, she sat at her stool again with her open book. Emma was so engrossed in Wonderland, she didn’t register the sound of the door and she jumped when she looked up for a second and saw Killian standing there. Her chicken nugget fell into the puddle of ketchup on her plate, splattering the red substance onto the table around the plate. The book in Emma’s other hand dropped to the floor as her hand moved to rest on her chest.

“What the hell?!”

“Apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Emma’s eyes were still three times their normal size as she tried to calm down.

“Well you did.” He looked down.

“Sorry.” She picked up the book, looking up at him from the floor.

“It’s okay. I just, wow. You sure know how to sneak up on people.” He just shrugged in response. “Anyway, what’s up? I assume you’re here for a reason.”

“Ah, yeah. I wanted to thank you for the breakfast.” He put air quotes around the word “breakfast.”

“I felt bad I made us both miss it.” Emma took the ketchup-covered nugget and popped it into her mouth.

“What if we could still talk, but neither of us would have to miss the most important meal of the day?” She paused her chewing.

“What do you mean?”

“Would you care to join me for breakfast tomorrow morning?” Her eyes widened once again.

“Oh, Killian. I don’t know.”

“I understand.” He nodded.

“Killian, it’s not like that! I’m just really used to my routine.” He sent her a sympathetic smile.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. If you don't want to meet me, you can say so. I can take it.” She felt guilty when she saw the sadness in his eyes. She hated being rejected the way she just did to him. She’d feel awful if he felt half as miserable as she did when he rejected her. He started walking away when she called after him,

“Wait!” He spun around to face her. “Okay.”

“Truly?”

“Yes. Tomorrow.” His smile could’ve lit an entire city.

“Meet me at Belle’s coffee shop?”

“A place with coffee. Smart.” He nodded.

“Judging by the size of your coffee cup this morning, I figured you'd need it." She threw her ketchup-stained paper plate in the trash and smiled at him.

“Belle’s. Tomorrow. 6:00 on the dot.”

“Aye aye, Captain.” He walked away without another word. Thank goodness her plans for the rest of the night included nothing but sleep. She would need it to get up even earlier than usual to meet Killian. Despite the time, she found herself looking forward to it. He had proved himself interesting to her, and she was eager to learn more about her new business partner and maybe-friend. Emma grabbed her keys and books as she made her way to her bug, smiling and listening to her new Halsey CD on the way home.

Emma groaned when her alarm pulled her out of her dreams. She was used to waking up early for work, but this was ridiculous. Whining to her duckling, Emma sat up and ran a hand through her hair. She was very happy Killian suggested a coffee shop because he was right, she needed it. Plus, she had been to Belle’s before; she has a pretty decent breakfast selection, as well as strong coffee. Emma dragged her feet on the carpet as she made her way to her bathroom. The shower was refreshing, but did a poor job waking her up. As much as Emma wanted to read some of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland with the extra twelve minutes she had before she had to leave after she got dressed, reading would only make her eyes burn with exhaustion, so she decided to just leave early and start the coffee as soon as possible. Emma was completely dazed as she drove, but she made it and walked in to find that Killian was also early. He stood up and waved her over when she entered the shop. Emma smiled as she took the seat across from Killian. Neither said anything for a moment, then Killian broke the silence,

“I would’ve ordered for you, but I didn’t know how you like your coffee.”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it. I can order for us both. What do you want?” Before he could protest, she was already on her feet.

“Coffee, black. And pancakes.” Emma nodded and walked to the counter.

“Hey, Belle.” Emma smiled.

“Hi, Emma! I haven’t seen you in a while. How are things going?” Belle was way too perky at 5:50 in the morning.

“Pretty well actually, thanks. Uh, I need a large coffee with lots of sugar and milk, a bowl of Fruit Loops, a large black coffee, and pancakes.” Belle stared for a moment.

“You’re here with Killian?”

“Yeah. Why?” Emma looked back at Killian, who had his head resting on his arms. He looked like he could fall asleep at the table.

“No reason. It’s just nice to see you both making friends.” Emma was too tired to press the matter any further, so she just asked how much everything was before paying Belle and heading back to the table with two coffees. Turns out he was asleep.

“Killian?” She shook him lightly. She repeated his name twice more before he stirred.

“Oh, Swan. I’m so sorry, I just-”

“It’s okay.” Emma chuckled. “This is an ungodly hour for anyone to be up.” He nodded in agreement and took a sip of his coffee.

“Oh, what do I owe you?” He took out a black wallet with a light blue anchor on the front. She shook her head.

“It’s on me.”

“No. I’m the one who asked you here. I should be paying for us both.” He fiddled with a couple bills in his wallet.

“Consider it a gift.” He stared at her, eyes heavy still with sleep.

“Thank you, Swan.” He was going to say something else when Belle came over with their food, interrupting his words. He forgot what he was going to say when he saw Emma attack the bowl of cereal in front of her. “That is hardly breakfast, Swan.”

“Eat your pancakes, Jones.” He chuckled now as she shoveled the sugary morsels into her mouth. She finished her entire bowl, even drinking the milk, before he could finish just one of his pancakes.

“That stuff is all sugar.” He shook his head at her.

“Apparently it’s not too early for you to judge me.” She crossed her arms and sat back. “I happen to love Fruit Loops.”

“Just because they have ‘fruit’ in the name does not mean they count as fruit.” His eyes have lightened considerably since she woke him up minutes ago. He took a bite of his pancake and she rolled her eyes. She took a sip of her coffee as he moved one of his pancakes onto another plate. Killian pushed the plate in front of Emma. “Eat something of substance.” She gave him a curious glance, but she would never say no to more food.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me, Swan. I just want to keep you around so you can bake more cupcakes for me.” She laughed, covering her mouth to keep pancake from sputtering across the table at him. They both stopped eating and he kept his gaze on her. “I can hear you thinking.”

“Sorry. It’s just-”

“Just what?”

“Nothing.” She stabbed her pancake with her fork.

“Tell me, Swan.” He still hadn’t resumed eating.

“I was just thinking that maybe you aren’t so bad after all.”

“Well I’m certainly glad to hear that.” He picked up his fork and knife, but gazed at her once more before cutting another piece of pancake. She definitely needed to change the subject.

“So have you run into your copy of Peter Pan yet?” He finished chewing before he responded.

“Alas, I have not. The little bugger is hiding from me.”

“I’m starting to think you don’t want me to read it because you’re wrong and Hook is the bad guy. And you know it.” She smirked.

“I could give you a list of reasons Pan is the true villain, but then I’d be spoiling the book. It would be bad form.”

“Mhm. Sure.”

“It’s true! I’d be more than happy to discuss Pan with you after you’ve finished the book.” He wiped syrup from his scruff with his napkin.

“I did see the movie, you know,” she said in a mocking tone, knowing this would hit a nerve.

“The book is always better, Swan. And the movie’s portrayal of Captain Hook is a disgrace.” One of these days her eyes were going to roll right out of her head in front of Killian. “It’s true!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll find out myself whenever you find that book.”

“Indeed. But how are you enjoying your trip to Wonderland?” He finished off his last pancake and put his utensils and napkin neatly on his empty plate.

“I actually really like it. I’m not a big reader; how did you manage to pick two books I really love?”

“One of my many talents.” He sipped his coffee. Killian Jones was still a puzzle to Emma.

“Fair enough. Hey, I should actually be getting to work. But I had a really good time this morning.” He stood up and put his leather jacket on.

“I’ll walk you to your car.” She knew it wasn’t an issue worth fighting over. He told her about his first time reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland at the suggestion of a teacher in primary school. Emma learned that Killian has always been a big reader, and it was actually Peter Pan that sparked his interest. He went to “university” to study English and Irish literature, and he used to work in a bookstore, and that experience made him want to open his own. They talked for an extra ten minutes after reaching her bug, and she was starting to freeze just a bit. Her nose was running and undoubtedly pink. Her beanie saved her ears, but the cold was biting at her cheeks, and she watched his own features redden in color. His ears reached an alarming shade of red when she realized they should both get warmed up and get to work. She opened her car door when she heard him speak once more. “Are you sure I don’t owe you anything for the breakfast?” It took her all of three seconds to reply.

“You can pay tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? I don’t recall asking.”

“That’s because it’s my turn.” She saw a smile creep onto his face. “Would you like to have breakfast with me again tomorrow?”

“I’d love to, Swan.”

“Same place, same time?” He nodded. She reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone. “Oh, put your number in.” He added himself to her contacts and she said she’d send him a text so he could save her number. They said their goodbyes, knowing they’d see each other just minutes later at their respective jobs. When she looked out her windows every so often, she caught him looking back. They smiled at each other whenever their eyes met, and she waved if she didn’t have loads of customers. After work, she waved from outside his window as she made her way to her car. He smiled and waved back, mouthing a “see you at breakfast” before turning back to his books. She sent him a text as she finished dinner:

E: Hey, it’s Emma. Remind me tomorrow morning to bring you a beanie.

He replied immediately:

K: Hello, Swan. And why is that?

She couldn’t let the opportunity to tease him pass her by:

E: Your ears were firetruck red today. I was scared they’d fall off.

Her phone vibrated seconds later:

K: My ears are fine, and they thank you for the concern.

He was such a dork. She told him so:

E: You’re a dork. I’m going to go to bed so I can get up early tomorrow. Maybe you should do the same, wouldn’t want to fall asleep on the table, would you?

She knew he was blushing, even though she couldn’t see him. She waited for his reply:

K: Absolutely right, Swan. That would be bad form. Off to bed I go. Goodnight, love.

She smiled, sending him a text before putting her phone on the table next to her.

E: Goodnight, Killian.

She smiled as she slept that night, and only groaned for three minutes after her alarm went off the next morning.

#cssv #cssv 2017 #a-city-dove #rum and cupcakes #chapter 4 #emma swan #killian jones #captain swan #once upon a time #ouat #there's more!#alice's adventures in wonderland #peter pan #david copperfield #belle #update

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Could oil nation Norway help save the climate? | Environment| All topics from climate change to conservation | DW

For those of us who thought installing solar panels, planting trees and switching to an electric car would do the trick, this month’s report from the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change was a startling wake-up call.

The world is facing climate catastrophe, and urgent and unprecedented changes are needed, it said. That includes carbon capture and storage (CCS), a technology that in the past has been fraught with problems.

CCS is extremely expensive, and critics have long argued that it is nothing but an excuse for the fossil fuel industry to carry on as normal, to the detriment of the growth of renewable alternatives. Yet in Norway, the technology is gaining traction. Little surprise, given the country’s continued plans to exploit oil.

“The climate challenge is so big that you have to use all the tools that you have in your toolbox,” said Trude Sundset, CEO of Gassnova, the Norwegian state company responsible for finding CCS solutions for the future.

While renewable energy production is growing quickly, many industries like cement and steel emit vast amounts of CO2 in their production processes. This is where carbon capture technology is the only solution — apart from shutting down production altogether, argued Sundset.

“You can put as many solar panels on all the cement factories as you want, but you will still have very high CO2 emissions from this industry,” she said. “And the only solution that we know of today is to capture the CO2 and store it underground.”

Read more: The rise of wooden skyscrapers

First project on the horizon

With Norwegian government support, Gassnova is now entering the final stages of a pilot project that could see the first full-scale carbon capture plants installed at a cement factory and a waste incinerating facility. Each would capture 400,000 tons of CO2 annually — that’s equivalent to the emissions from 171,000 cars.

“The process of making cement in itself emits a lot of CO2, and the total cement production in the world represents 5 to 7 percent of the total CO2 emissions every year,” said Per Brevik, director of sustainability and alternative fuels at Heidelberg Cement Northern Europe, part of Gassnova’s pilot project.

Read more: Concrete answers to a recycling problem

The plant, a two-hour drive south of the Norwegian capital Oslo, has already tested various carbon capture methods and hopes the full-scale solution will be up and running by 2024.

“We will take out the CO2 from the flue gas, condition it and store it on the bottom of the North Sea,” explained Brevik.

Oslo’s Klemetsrud waste incinerator plant is one of two pilot projects for full-scale carbon capture and storage technology

Financial incentive: Higher emissions taxes?

The idea of removing CO2 from the air to store it in porous rock under the seafloor is not a new one. Norway’s state energy company, Equinor, has run a CCS plant on one of its natural gas platforms in the North Sea since 1996, proving the technology works.

That particular project makes economic sense, thanks to Norway’s €52 ($60) per ton CO2 emissions tax on offshore oil and gas installations. Equinor would have had to fork out €105,000 a day to release the CO2 into the atmosphere, making CCS a cheaper alternative.

“The problem is, there is no business model for this [onshore],” said Sverre Overa, a project director at Equinor. The current European CO2 tax is less than €20 euro per ton — although, that price is set to increase in 2019.

“The quota prices that exist are not sufficient today to cover the cost both of capturing and storing the CO2,” said Overa. “Over time we believe that gap will be closing. Deploying more and more of these facilities will bring the cost curve down, like it has for renewables.”

Read more: Dip in China’s CO2 emissions sparks cautious optimism

Could oil and gas know-how save the day?

Perhaps somewhat paradoxically, Norway’s experience with offshore oil and gas exploration could start benefiting the environment. Gassnova is now using this technical know-how to prepare a CO2 storage infrastructure that could be implemented across Europe.

Read more: Engineering the climate — is it a good idea?

Captured CO2 will be liquefied and transported on ships to a facility on Norway’s western coast. From there, it can be piped out to the North Sea and pumped some 3,000 meters (about 10,000 feet) down into porous rock formations.

“If we succeed in setting up our own infrastructure, industries in the UK, Germany and elsewhere can see that if they capture their emissions from their industry they can actually send it somewhere and somebody will make sure it is safely stored,” said Gassnova’s Sundset.

Industry insiders have said there is already interest in the Norwegian CCS model from companies elsewhere in Europe.

“Norway is very much one of the front-runners on CCS in Europe, it’s really shown that CCS can be deployed as a technology to help reduce CO2 emissions on an industrial scale,” said Luke Warren of the Zero Emission Platform, an interest organization for the CCS industry and research groups, which also advises the European Commission on the technology.

“The next phase of Norway’s program, which is developing the infrastructure to enable capture from multiple industrial sources, is really exciting. And I think if this project is realized, there will be opportunities for other sources within Europe to access the infrastructure there,” he said.

Dependent on government support

Previous Norwegian governments have shelved large-scale CCS projects, but the current administration has so far provided the necessary funds for the pilot projects.

Read more: Can we live in a world without fossil fuels?

In its latest budget proposal in October, the government set aside a further €71 million for the development of CCS technology. It has promised a final decision on whether to go ahead with the two full-scale carbon capture plants and the infrastructure for CO2 storage under the North Sea by 2021.

The total cost has been estimated to be €1.6 billion. Energy companies Equinor, Shell and Total are already involved in the development of Norway’s CCS project, carrying some of the costs alongside the Norwegian state. But it remains to be seen who will foot the majority of the final bill.