#that said there's a BIG gap between calling me out on something i did wrong vs a simple difference of opinion abt like ao3 donations or | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dancingtotuyo · 3 months

Text

7. when she lets me call her mine

Woman | Joel Miller x Female Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit

Chapter Summary: a year passes through Jackson

Tags: Joel Miller X Female Reader. Age Gap (13/14 years). HBO Characters. Mostly cannon compliant for show & game. Timeline is changed.

Chapter Warnings: angst, blood, grief (loss of a sibling, loss of a child), trauma, anxiety

Notes: Once again, thank you to @janaispunk and @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin for beta reading this! I appreciate all your comments and feedback, and I love you both so much!

Words: 8311

Series Masterlist | Author Masterlist | Playlist

Joel coaxes you awake the next morning. Your room is bright with sunshine. He’s dressed in his clothes from last night, smelling like your soap. Your body protests, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep until the end of time. You groan burrowing into your pillow, making him chuckle. Then, the events of last night come flooding back. Adrenaline shoots through your body as you shoot up. Your head spins a little. “Maria?”

“She’s awake. Doc Pooley stopped by this morning, said she looks good so far.” Joel wraps an arm around you, tugging you closer. “Just wanted you to know.”

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Sweetheart.”

You pick at the buttons on his shirt as you remember it all. “For last night. Everything.”

Your temple rests against his forehead. His steady breathing calms you until the two of you are in unison. Joel kisses your head. His fingertips brush across your thigh.

“I want to go over there.”

“Tommy said we’re welcome anytime. I think he feels better having you there.”

“Do I look as atrocious as I feel?” You turn to him.

Joel chuckles, shaking his head. “Got some big bags under your eyes, and some gnarly morning breath.”

“Gnarly? Really?”

“Only the best of words for you.” Joel winks. “I’ll get you some breakfast while you get ready.”

“Thank you.”

Maria is sitting up when you get there. Her eyes are bloodshot, her shoulders sag with exhaustion, but she’s alive, and she looks a hell of a lot better than she did the night before. The baby lays contently on her chest. She smiles at you over his head. “If it isn’t my guardian angel.”

Your chest quivers with relief as you ease beside her, perching on the edge of the mattress. Out of the corner of your eye, Joel gives Tommy a delayed but obligatory congratulatory handshake.

“I’m just happy to see you awake.”

“You look like shit.” Maria teases.

“Oh, I look like shit?” You raise an eyebrow. “Look in a mirror.”

Maria laughs softly, successfully hiding the cringe of pain behind it. “I’m never leaving this bed.”

“Bullshit.” Tommy crosses his arms. “She was tryin’ to get out of bed this mornin.”

You smile, eyes roaming over Maria, searching for any signs of something wrong. You can’t find any, but it hardly eases your anxiety.

Maria squeezes your hand. “If something felt wrong, I would tell you.”

“Promise?”

She nods, a smile spreading across her face as her eyes flicker to her sleeping newborn. “I have someone dependent on me now.”

“He’s not the only one dependent on you,” You say with a sigh. When you look down at Jackson’s newest addition, you can’t help but smile either. “Though he may be the cutest.”

“He is, isn’t he?” Maria runs a hand over his tuft of dark curls. “You wanna hold him?”

You nod, carefully taking the infant into your arms. Other than the brief moment when you’re delivering a baby, you haven’t held one this small since Carter was born. “Does he have a name yet?”

“Yes,” Maria smiles at Tommy. He places a hand on her shoulder. Your heart swells every time you see them like this. As much as Maria championed your relationship with Gabe, you did for her with Tommy. “Meet Elias Joel Miller.”

“What?” It seems to tumble out of Joel’s mouth automatically. “Now why would you do a thing like that?”

“Maria wouldn’t be here without you,” Tommy says. You swear you see the sparkle of tears in his eyes.

Joel clears his throat, eyes moving between his nephew and brother. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“I think they’re capable of deciding what to name their child, Joel.” You grin, pressing a kiss to Elias’s head. “Now come hold your nephew.”

Maria’s recovery isn’t easy. It takes a lot of time, more than either of you anticipate. You spend days at her house and nights on the couch, caring for her when Tommy is on patrol. Eventually, slowly, she returns to full strength. She cares for her son and husband and all of Jackson with the same grace, strength, and capabilities as before. When she does, she kicks you out of her home with a grin.

It’s gradual at first, the way you pull away. Joel chalks it up to Maria’s close call, the amount of time you spend caring for her and Elias.

As the air begins to cool, you ask to walk alone. Joel picks it up the moment he meets you on the porch that night. He sees the distance in your eyes. Kissing your forehead, he crosses the street to his home without so much as a word. You’re relieved despite the dull ache in your chest.

You toss and turn that night. Your thoughts race with anxiety. The fall air seems especially chilly without Joel there to keep you warm.

Joel joins you the next night, but you’re quiet, too quiet. He tries, bless his heart, to keep it light and cheerful doing his best to pull you from the sea of thoughts. Despite his best efforts, you only give him brief sounds and one-word answers. When he wraps his arms around you that night, you don’t lean in.

None of it surprises him. He expects it. He would’ve done the same thing this time last year. What he doesn’t expect is the gaping ache in his chest as he watches it happen a little more each day like the autumn leaves falling from trees. The tighter he holds on, the more you slip through his fingers. So he takes the opposite approach. He keeps his distance. He stops meeting you in the middle of the road. He only comes over when you ask.

You expect the space to grant you relief, but it only gets harder to breathe. You toss and turn at night. The bed is empty. You’ve grown accustomed to having Joel next to you. There’s no clarity to your thoughts, no sense to your actions. The push and pull is tiring: missing Joel but not letting him too close.

You step onto your porch on a Friday in mid-October. You’ve walked alone, slept alone for almost a week. The only time you’ve seen Joel are the afternoons Carter asks to spend with him.

Joel sits on his porch, leaning back in a rocking chair. His guitar is propped on his knee. It stops you in your tracks, stealing your breath. He’s had the unstrung guitar in his home since June, but now, even from across the street, you clearly see several silver strings running across the frets. A couple of bright notes bridge the gap between you.

Instead of stepping into the street and setting along your beaten trail, your bottom hits the wooden step. You stare across the street, transported to 20 years ago when you and Joel lived across from one another the first time. Even at the end of the world, some things never change. You remember him sitting on his porch in the Austin suburb, the same angle to his recline, fingers playing over the strings. You used to open your bedroom window at night, straining to hear the faint rifts he played. Sometimes, his voice drifted through your curtain as you pined for a man who very rightfully, never looked your way. Those were your favorite nights.

Tonight, you don’t watch in secret. You don’t have to strain to hear the melody coming off the strings. You spent too much time wanting Joel, and he’s yours to have if you can only shake the fear away. It seems silly that the world ended and you somehow ended up with the only thing you wanted before it did. Now, you’re in self-destruct mode. You don’t know how to stop it. Wrapping your arms around yourself, you continue to watch Joel and his guitar without embarrassment.

Joel clocks you the moment you step out. He watches you from his periphery at first, surprised when you take a seat on the steps instead of going for your walk. He plucks at the strings refamiliarizing himself with the instruments after decades of separation. He’s only been able to find 4 good strings, but it is enough for now. The taught strings feel like therapy beneath his fingers connecting him with something unseen.

Joel continues to pick out the melody, becoming more confident with each play-through. He misses a few notes due to his missing strings, but something about it tugs at the strings of familiarity.

Finally, you stand, crossing the street. Joel doesn’t look up when you make it to his porch. Resting against the railing, he plucks away as the melody finally hits you. You’re embarrassed at how long it takes you to recognize it. Landslide. Memories flood your mind. You ran that cassette until it busted. When the Dixie Chicks put out their cover in ‘02, you and Sarah played it on repeat.

You focus on Joel’s fingers, the words forming in your head as he closes out the song. He leaves the guitar on his lap. Your arms fold over your chest, and his warm brown eyes reach yours.

The breeze catches your hair. You bite your lip, yet Joe doesn’t say a word. “I love that song.”

“I know.”

You raise an eyebrow. He chuckles. “You played that song on repeat for a week, Sweetheart. Sarah forced me to learn it.”

“Like you didn’t already know it, old timer.”

Joel pushes back a laugh, propping the guitar against the house. You catch the tension in his shoulders. Guilt shoots through you. You want to crack open his thoughts and curl into his brain. Is he upset? Hurt? Does he think you’ve come to call this thing off? This thing you’ve never labeled. Does he want to call it off after your actions?

“I’m sorry.”

Joel quirks a brow.

“For pulling away.” You add.

Joel lets out a deep sigh as he stands. Worry floods your body. You have succeeded. You pushed him away, and this is where things end. He steps forward. His body heat cuts through the fall chill. His fingers brush across your cheek and over your ear. Your head tilts into his palm.

“Joel-” You whisper.

“I’ve missed you.”

His words cut all the anxiety from you with a surgeon's precision. “I missed you too.”

He kisses you, tentative and understanding. It doesn’t silence your fears but gives you the budding courage to face them. Joel’s fingers curl around your face. His flannel is soft in your clenched fists. As you tug him closer, a grin spreads across your face.

Joel trails his hands down your back and over your ass. He wants to tell you so much more. He wants to tell you that he’s more than missed you. His arms have ached without you. He wants to tell you you feel like coming home, that if he never spends another night without you, it won’t be enough. He wants to scream from the rooftops that he’s yours and he wants you to be his, but he knows that all of that will send you running. He still sees the fear in your eyes.

Instead, he presses you against him, opening your mouth with his tongue. For the sake of not giving the whole town a show, he pulls you inside, dragging you to his bedroom.

The cold winds blow in and snowflakes drift about the sky as you follow Carter from house to house on Halloween night. He’s happily escorted by Ellie and Dina, relishing in their attention. The bright orange of Reese’s wrappers and red of Kitkats might be gone, but the town of Jackson knows how to improvise. Homemade sweets fill baskets and pillowcases. Joel walks alongside you, hand in yours. He wears an easy smile, one that keeps you warm as the sun sets behind the mountains.

“Remember the year Sarah convinced you to come trick or treating with us?” A faint grin spreads across Joel’s face.

“I remember all my Mr. Goodbars missing when I got home.”

Joel laughs. “Sarah always liked those.”

“Pretty sure it wasn’t Sarah I left unattended with my pillowcase.” You roll your eyes. “And she was more of a Reese’s girl.”

“Pretty sure 18-year-olds weren’t supposed to go trick or treating.”

“Touché,” You smile.

Joel presses a kiss to the back of your hand before furrowing his brow. “Your hands are freezing, Sweetheart.”

“It’s snowing outside, of course, they are.”

“Wanna go back to my house? I can start a fire.” Joel grins. Since the weather had turned, you spent more time at his house due to the beautiful fireplace in his living room and your home’s lack of. Evenings spent in front of his fireplace are some of your favorites.

“We’ve only made it through half the houses.”

“I think Ellie and Dina are fine with Carter. He doesn’t even know we’re here.” Joel points. It’s true. He adores the ground those two walk on.

You bite your lip, torn between seeing the rest of the evening out and the promise of Joel’s fireplace. Carter’s nose is tinged with red from the chill, but his grin is unbeatable. Joel’s breath is warm on your ear. “Made up your mind.”

“Promise it doesn’t make me a bad mom?”

“I promise.” Joel laughs.

You double-check with the girls, making sure they know they can bring him back to the house at any time. They assure you it’s fine and then Joel drags you off.

He has the fire burning in no time, casting an orange glow across the room. He sits down next to you, an overly full glass of whisky to share. Your legs rest over his thighs as he runs his fingers over your shoulder. “Warmer?”

You sip on the glass, handing it to him. “In more ways than one.”

Pressing the glass to his lips, he chuckles. “Gone are the days of subtlety I suppose.”

“I don’t need subtlety anymore.” Your head rests on his shoulder, tracing the seams of his jeans.

He kisses your head. “Wanna raid Carter’s candy when he gets back?”

You grin. “Isn’t that the point of being a parent?”

Snow begins to pile up. The holiday season is upon Jackson. As you exit the clinic one day, it hits you, literally, in the back of the head. Cold and icy, some of it drips down your skin. You spin around, met with Ellie’s apologetic grin.

“Oops.”

You furrow your brow, a teasing glimmer in your eye. “Gotta work on your aim there, Ellie.” Your bag drops to the ground, hands meeting the cold snow.

“I didn’t throw it.” Her grin grows as she slowly backs away.

“Oh?” You take care to form the snowball, calling on your years of travel softball. “You need to get better at lying.”

“Duck!” someone yells. You manage to and the snowball hits Ellie square in the face. A laugh grows in your chest as Jesse appears around the corner, a handful of snow ready to stuff down the back of Ellie’s shirt.

“Ellie, move!” instead of sending it her way, you barely graze Jesse’s head.

Before you know it, you’re pulled into their war. Your hands go numb. Snow finds itself in places it should never be, melting from your body heat. Most importantly, you’re having fun in ways you haven’t for a long long time.

Two strong arms wrap around you. They’re Joel’s. You would know them anywhere. His laugh echoes in your ear. Then, he’s pulling you down into a snow drift. Your coat rides up, cold snow pressing into your back. You squeal, trying to wiggle free, but he keeps you pinned.

“You jackass!” You thrash under him.

He laughs. “You should learn to pick on people your own age.”

“They started it!”

Snow smashes on the back of Joel’s neck. He yells, spinning around. You’re forgotten as Ellie laughs, running away. “You little twirp!” Joel yells and then a snowball collides with his face.

“See what I mean?” You stumble onto your feet, the ghost of the cold still pressed against your skin. “They’re asking for it.”

“You flank the left. I’ll take the right.” Joel nods.

The two of you are hopelessly outmanned by the 3 teenagers as snow pelts your face in such quick succession that you can hardly think straight. Within seconds, Joel calls out “Retreat!”

His calloused hand grabs yours, dragging you toward his house like you’re teenagers running from the cops. Laughter spills from both of you the entire way there. Your hands shoot to your knees as you struggle to catch your breath. Joel assumes a similar position.

“Gettin too damn old for that shit,” Joel says, laughter still in his tone.

“But it sure was fun.” You wink.

Joel eases up, his knees and back letting off a string of cracks and pops. You glance over at him, laughter playing in your eyes. He shoots you a look that tells you not to say a word, making you bite your lip. “I’m gonna get a fire going.”

You nod, kissing his cheek. “I’m gonna hop through the shower.”

Joel catches your waist before you dash up the steps, pulling you snug against him. “Give me a real kiss, Woman.”

You crinkle your eyebrows at the name, but Joel lays a breath-stealing kiss on you before you have time to make a comment. Warmth spreads through your body. He pulls away with a grin. Your eyes flutter open, connecting with his eyes and then glancing down to his lips again. ”Sure you won’t join me?”

He groans. “If I do that, we’re not getting out of bed tonight.”

”I don’t see any issues with that.”

He squeezes your ass, giving you another kiss. “Go get showered. I’ll be waiting for you,” he says, practically pushing you towards the steps. You laugh. “And don’t go stealing all my hot water!”

You answer with a laugh.

Carter is in the living room when you come down. Your body hums with warmth from your shower. He sits on Joel’s lap, animatedly recounting something. Even from behind, you can see Joel’s face moving with exaggerated motions. Carter’s vocabulary is getting better with each day to the point where you can put together most of his stories now.

You fall onto the couch, thighs pressed against Joel’s. “Mommy!” Carter launches himself toward you. You barely manage to avoid getting your two front teeth knocked in, kissing his chunky cheeks.

“Carter!” You reply, squeezing him against you.

Before long, Ellie comes stomping in, cheeks rosy from the cold. The four of you eat leftovers in front of the fire, spending time together until Ellie is pulled away by her friends and Carter passes out on the couch. You and Joel stay on the floor, his arm around your shoulders.

“I think I have a problem, Sweetheart.”

The words are like ice water in your veins causing your heart rate to spike and your anxiety with it. You’ve heard those exact words before. ”What’s wrong?”

“I’m getting too used to having you around.”

Your jaw sets, fist colliding with his shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?”

”Scaring the bejesus out of me.”

He kisses your head, hand roaming down your neck and shoulders. “Sorry. Guess I should work on my delivery.”

”Ya think?” You sigh, resting your head back on his shoulder.

It falls silent. Blood rushes behind your ears. The adrenaline courses through your dysregulating body. It’s just words. Joel was just being silly, but your body won’t listen. It won’t settle. You’ve heard those words before. It turns your vision a red you can’t wipe away. Before you know it, your body is shaking. “Fuck.” You barely get it out before you lose control over your body.

Joel’s brow furrows as he cups your cheeks. “What’s wrong?”

Your head shakes as your fingers claw at his jeans, twisting in his shirt, desperate to find stability somewhere. Tears slip from your eyes, flowing over his hands. Fear rushes through Joel. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

You choke it out, barely over a whisper. “Carter.”

”He’s right there.” Joel brings you into his lap, turning you to look at your son’s sleeping frame. “He’s okay.”

You shake your head, sniffing. It hurts to talk like there’s a lump in your throat, your diaphragm constricting in painful ways. “No- my- my brother.”

Joel searches your wet eyes. You’re not here. You’re along the outskirts of Jackson in a place you’ve only alluded to. He knows Carter died. He knows that death left you on your own. He doesn’t have words. He’s not sure you would hear them anyway, so he crushes you against his chest, rocking you back and forth like a mother does to her hurt child until your body stops shaking.

As the tension releases from your body, you weave your fingers through Joel’s. Eventually, you slide down, back against the hard floor, and head on Joel’s thighs. His thumb brushes over your wet cheek as you look at each other. The tears still pour from your eyes, but they don’t try to rip you apart anymore.

The fire has died down, but it’s still warm against your side. The flames dance off Joel’s irises. When you can finally draw a breath without your rib cage rattling, you attempt to speak. “I’m sorry-“

”Don’t.” Joel is soft. “Don’t apologize for it.”

You nod. He keeps brushing his fingers across your face. “I'm ready to talk about it.”

He freezes for a second and then nods.

“Carter was hurt when a group of raiders came through, but they didn’t kill him.”

Joel inhales sharply. You squeeze his hand. “He was hurt and there was nothing I could do.”

The image flashes before your eyes, your baby brother bleeding out slowly on the floor of a place with so many cherished memories. “He bled out so slowly.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“That’s not true.”

“Baby-”

“I could’ve-” You bite down on your lip, on the verge of breaking the delicate skin. “I should’ve helped him.”

“You just said you couldn’t do anything.”

“No- I mean…” Your chest shakes again. “He didn’t have to die like that. Slow and painful. He- Shit.” Your chest aches, tension tight across it.

Joel’s palm lands over your heart. It stays still for a minute and then moves in slow, pressurized motions. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it eases the band constricting around your rib cage. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

You take one last deep breath and utter the words you’ve only said out loud once before. “He begged me to make it stop, the pain. I knew- I know how to make it quick. He spent hours in pain and I couldn’t bring myself to make it better.”

Hot tears roll down your cheeks again. Joel collects them on his thumbs. “Sweetheart.”

You ease into a sitting position, taking his hand and tracing the lines in his palm “What you said- about thinking you had a problem.”

Joel traces along your hairline, following it behind your ear. “Yeah?”

“He said that to me, right before I saw the blood.”

Joel leans forward, kissing your forehead. Another pocket of tension fizzles away. “I’m sorry.” Another kiss. “But thank you for tellin me.”

You nod, forehead pressed to his, fingers scraping softly at the back of his skull. He kisses your jaw. “Let’s go to bed.”

Joel stands, offering out his hand. You feel a little off-kilter on your feet, but he makes sure you’re steady before gently picking Carter off the couch, careful not to disturb him. Joel takes your hand, leading you upstairs. You tuck Carter into the bed of the spare bedroom. He’s familiar with it by now.

Once you’re in Joel’s room, you shed your clothing, crawling under the cool sheets in just your underwear. Joel slides in behind you, strong arms keep you flush against him, his warm skin pressed against yours.

“Joel…”

“Yeah?”

“When the weather gets nice, I want to go to my grandparent’s place. I want to visit him.”

Joel nods, lips warm against your shoulder. “Whatever you want, Sweetheart. I’ll take you.

The snow drifts melt away. The weather warms. Spring showers bring fresh green and pink buds, the grass growing more vibrant with each day. Birds chirp and the days grow longer. With it, your evening walks return, Joel ever-present beside you except when he’s on patrol.

He spends free days outside of the wall. Your anxiety heightens when he goes out, but something else stirs too. You haven’t been out in years. You had been quickly nixed from the patrol lineup when your medical training had been dubbed too important. Since the walls were completed, you haven’t set foot outside of them. There’s a call, a tug, deep within you. For the first time, you want to leave the safety promised by the tall gates.

You walk the parapet sometimes. During the cold months, the breeze up there stings more, chapping your face. In the summer, it soothes you.

Joel comes back one day with a small bouquet of barely blooming wildflowers. They’re tiny. They look even smaller in Joel’s large hands. He looks almost timid handing them to you. “Ain’t much. They’ll be a lot prettier ones come summertime.”

”These are beautiful.” You smile, taking the delicate buds in your hands.

“It’s the thought that counts,” Joel says, eyes following as you find the best vessel to hold the tender gift.

“That’s what they say.”

Joel crosses his arms, hip resting against the counter. “I was thinkin’.”

”Uh-oh.” You shoot a teasing grin over your shoulder.

He lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “How original of you.”

“I try.” You shrug, setting the flowers on the counter. You mimic his stance. “Now what were you thinkin?”

“That tomorrow would be a good day to go to your grandparents’ place.”

Everything in your body, your heart, your breathing, your brain, stops for a split second. You feel outside of your body as it happens. Joel steps forward, hand gripping your bicep. It snaps you back, eyes locking on his.

“We don’t have to.”

”No.” Blood rushes behind your ears. “I want to. I’m ready.”

“You went white as a ghost, sweetheart.”

You take a deep breath. “I want to, Joel.”

He searches your face, looking for any signs that you’re not. “You sure? I can’t have you floating away like that when we’re out there.”

”I’m sure. I told you I wanted to.”

”Wanting to and ready to are very different things.”

“I’m ready.”

Joel waits a second, weighing the options and your words. He takes a breath. “Okay, we’ll leave at first light tomorrow.”

”Thank you.”

He kisses your forehead, arms wrapping around your shoulders. “I’ll turn us around if you do that, okay?”

Your fingers tangle in the fabric of his worn shirt. “Can’t tell Maria.”

”Gonna have to smuggle you out, huh?”

”Something like that.” You grin.

Joel laughs, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Luckily, I have some experience with that.”

Joel has two horses saddled and waiting at the gate when you approach the next morning. Electricity buzzes in your bloodstream at the thought of stepping out beyond the gate for the first time in years. The air is crisp but promises spring warmth later in the day as birds start to chirp.

“You sure?” Joel asks, reigns in hand.

“Yes,” you grin, taking them as you mount the horse. A rifle sits in the saddle holster. You shift in the saddle, taking a deep breath.

Joel looks up at you, concern evident in his deep brown eyes. He’s worried, maybe even scared. A knife materializes. “Keep this on you. Somewhere accessible.”

You take it, hands warm against his. “I know.”

“This too.” He pulls out a pistol.

You stare at the metal, flickering in the growing sunlight. You know your way around a gun. You’ve been comfortable handling them long before cordyceps. Growing up in Texas made sure of that, but you haven’t had to touch one in too long.

“Darlin.”

You take it from him. “I’m good, Joel.”

“You can get us there?”

“Yup.”

He nods, ensuring you’re secured before mounting his horse. He looks at the gate attendant and they crack the door open just enough for the two of you to slip through.

Wind and sunshine greet you and a huge smile crawls up your face. You kick the horse forward, Joel and his mount keeping pace next to you. The further from Jackson you get, the more you feel the weight start to lift from your shoulders despite the heaviness awaiting you.

Joel sees it. The bits and pieces of your younger self come out in your smile and laughter. Your body seems looser, freer in the open. He makes a note to sneak you out more often.

You take your time, an internal compass guiding you toward the place that kept you safe for so long. The sun warms your back until you slip into the woods. The soft babble of water pulls you deeper. Once you find the brook, you and Joel let the horses lap at the water. ”It’s not far up the mountain from here,” You say. “Probably 30, 40 minutes.”

Joel nods, handing you a canteen. “No rush. We have all day, Sweetheart.”

You tilt your head to the side, accepting it. You hand him two apples. Once for himself. Another for the horse. You can’t help the smile that’s been on your lips all morning. You weren’t expecting to feel this way, but something in your body thrums with life regardless of the fact that you’re close to the place that holds so much of your grief.

”Thank you for doing this.”

Joel hooks a finger through your belt loops, tugging you nearer to him. “Any time. Especially if I get to see you like this.”

”Like what?”

Wracking his brain, he can’t seem to find the right words. His eyes search yours, sunlight filters through the trees, casting yellowish spots across your face. It feels warm and magical. He wants to stay here forever with you, basking in your smile. He wants to make the entire world a place that brings you such peace, blocking out all the bad things, the dark things. The thought of you feeling anything other than what you do right now makes him want to tear each infected limb from limb until the world rights itself. He can’t erase the marks it’s made, but he wants to help them fade because he-

His heart jumps, interrupting the thought before it materializes. His palms go sweaty. Could he think it? Could he say it for something that’s never been defined? Should he say it?

You catch it in his eyes. You don’t know how to explain it, but it’s there for you to read like a book. Anxiety balls up in your stomach. It doesn’t overpower the other feelings coursing through your bloodstream, but it gives you an answer. If he says it, you’ll bolt. You know it.

You step backward, his finger dropping from your belt. “We should keep going.” You turn to the horse, checking that everything is still in place and secure.

Joel nods. He’s not sure what to say. “Sweetheart.”

You swallow, back turned to him. “I can’t give you anything else right now.”

”I know.”

You stay quiet for the rest of your trek following the brook toward the house. The familiar gate fades into view. It kept you protected from more than one group of infected and raiding parties for over 10 years. As you approach the gate, it hits you that you’ve spent just as much time away.

Joel is on alert, keeping watch for any unwelcome parties while trying to stay in tune with you. You dismount before entering through the gate on foot. Joel follows suit. You hitch them to a post, pouring out grain for them to eat.

“This is the Baldwin place?”

You nod. “My mom’s maiden name.”

“Doesn’t look like anyone’s been here in a while,” Joel says, easing a door open.

“Patrols use it from time to time. I’m sure stragglers do too.” You follow him in. Joel is focused on making sure it’s clear. You’re not sure you can focus on anything.

The wallpaper has faded in 10 years, a couple of windows are broken here and there, but otherwise, it looks just like you remember it. It’s a mix of comfort and dread.

You let Joel clear the house room by room, leaving the great room for last. You don’t even have to tell him. It’s like he senses it, the way you look at that the door.

Once the rest of the house is clear, you stand at the door. It’s just a room, one that used to bring you joy. It’s one, decade old blood stain. That’s all.

“We don’t have to do this,” Joel says.

You meet his eyes and see nothing but understanding. You wonder if he would ever want to go back to where Sarah was killed, nature washing away her stain long ago. You wish that was the case for Carter, like Gabe’s blood stain in the snow, gone with the spring thaw.

You swallow. “I want to.”

He nods and finally, you twist the door knob. Things are different from what you remember. Furniture has been moved from patrols stopping in. Your grandmother’s rocking chair is missing a leg, likely used for kindling in the big fireplace. It darkens the carpet, right before the hearth, brown and thick. Your attempts at washing it away had been useless.

Your feet take you to it of their own volition. Knees hit the carpet. Your hand spreads over the large stain as tears gather in your arms. It comes out barely a whisper the first time, and then louder the next. “I’m sorry.”

Then your chest begins to shake. It comes out over and over, sorrow and anger all spilling out after suppressing them for years.

Joel’s hand rests against your back and you fall into him, letting it wash over you as years of built-up guilt finally release from your body until finally, you still. There’s no big moment of clarity or understanding, just the gentle ease of acceptance.

An hour later, puffy-eyed and tired, you pull a comforter out of the closet, the oversized one with faded pink rosebuds. To your amazement, it’s relatively untouched by moths. Dust flies free when you shake it out on the deck, sunlight sparkles off the little flecks floating around you almost like fireflies. Memories of stargazing and fireside nights flicker through your brain. Joel’s coughing ruins the slightly magical moment making you laugh.

You settle on it, Joel unpacking lunch. The two of you stay quiet, basking in the sunlight as you eat. You save the strawberries for last, the latest crop just starting to produce in the greenhouse. They’re sweet on your tongue, pushing away the last of the salty tears.

Joel shifts, his thigh pressing against yours. The deck looks over a valley, granting a serene look at the blooming trees and flowers, painting in broad strokes across nature. It's a welcome reprieve after winter, but it makes you realize how bearable this winter felt. It wasn’t a mild winter by any means but, you have him.

Your eyes drift to the man beside you. He’s at ease, leaning back, arms supporting himself. In the bright sunlight, his hair looks a little lighter and his eyes more like honey. You lean over, hand running over the scruff of his cheek, and capture his lips in a soft, languid kiss. A hand slides over your side, easing you closer. A bee buzzes a couple yards away. Birds chirp in the distance. Just through the thicket, a doe wanders through the forest. The kind of noise that feels silent, like time stands still for the two of you.

You feel it, the spark that’s been there for months. Up here, away from the rest of your small world, you can’t feel the trap tightening around you. You’re not sure it is a trap anymore. The flicker of it floats through your brain. The beginnings of those 3 little words. The anxiety flares. Somehow, you force it away with the words. The fuzzy feeling stays. You have Joel. That’s enough for now.

You pull back, his breath fanning across your face. Joel drags his fingertips up and down your forearm. Once again, he feels the words wandering closer to his lips. Not yet. He can’t say them yet.

“What do you want to do?” He asks, eyes fluttering over you. There’s no heat behind them, just the need to be assured that you’re okay, that you’re actually here.

“One more stop before we go home.”

He nods, kissing your forehead. “Whatever you need, Sweetheart.”

You stop under the willow tree. The one your mom planted when she was a kid. The one you buried Carter under. Joel keeps his distance, holding the reigns of both horses.

The dirt is hard, littered with tiny bits of rock and sticks that press into the knees of your jeans. You stare at the small boulder you shoved into place a decade ago. There’s no name, the paint washed away long ago. So many thoughts flood your brain. There’s so much to tell him, so much you wish he could see and know about you.

You tell him about his nephew. He never would have let you live it down knowing you named your son after him. You mention Jackson and the people, Maria mostly, a little about Tommy, and Gabe and Joel. You don’t tell Carter about your feelings with Joel, just that you’re happy and taken care of. Then, you sit in silence as if you expect a response. The silly thing is you do. You expect a sign or a nudge deep in your soul, but there’s nothing. You’re okay with that.

“I’m okay. Surprisingly.” You smile weakly. Taking a deep breath, you rise to your feet.

You stare at the boulder. Then up at the tree. Your parent’s initials are still barely legible in the bark. Your gaze flickers to the house behind you, your home for so long. It’s haunted now.

You feel it in your chest, solid and true. You’ve found all the closure you need. “ This is the last I’ll be here. I’m not coming back.”

Joel’s ears perk up. His head cocks to the side as you approach. He doesn’t ask and you don’t elaborate. Instead, you take the reins, mounting your horse. “Let’s go home.”

Summer brings all of its usual joys and festivities. The outdoor crops grow with the sun. The days are long and filled with hard work, tired bones, and sun-soaked lunch breaks. The flowers start to appear each time Joel leaves Jackson for patrol or pleasure. You watch the bouquets grow in size and variation. Your own measurement of the foliage growth beyond the wall.

June bleeds into July. Maria brings out a cake to celebrate Elias’s first birthday. It seems incomprehensible that you’re a year removed from that night. After everything, it was hardly the worst night of your life, but the fear you felt that night was the culmination of all of it. It still haunts you from time to time.

Joel squeezes your thigh, offering you a smile. Your heart clenches with joy, maybe even peace. It dawns on you that you’ve spent more than a year at his side, walking, talking, not sleeping. He kisses your temple. Across the table, Ellie scrunches her face at the two of you. Carter ogles the cake. Elias babbles happily on Tommy’s knee. Your best friend’s face says it all. She’s the happiest you’ve ever seen her. Looking around the table, you’ve never been more thankful to fall into the trap.

The bed is empty when you wake up one Sunday morning later in the month. The house is already hot, a warm breeze pours through the open window. You’re not used to the empty bed, especially having fallen asleep next to Joel.

You roll over, hand spreading over the sheets. Your eyes follow the trail of sunlight to the window. Joel’s bare back stretches before you as he stares out the glass. The curtain billows softly in the breeze. It gives the air of a peaceful moment, but you know it’s anything but. His muscles are taught across his back.

It takes seconds to settle across you. Last year, he spent the night before at his house. You didn’t even realize what day it was until after lunch. Sarah’s Birthday.

You slip out of the bed, bare feet meet the hardwood. Your hand settles on his shoulder trailing across the expanse of his back down around his waist. He hums softly in acknowledgment.

“Joel…”

He wraps an arm around you, tugging you against him. You oblige, head nuzzling into him. He kisses right above your ear. “Just stay near.”

You stay there until Carter knocks on the door, one of the skills you’ve been diligently working on. You move, but Joel beats you to it, opening the door, scooping the 3-year-old into his arms. Carter giggles. “You want pancakes for breakfast, Bud?”

“Yes!”

Your heart clenches. Joel never liked pancakes, but Sarah loved them.

“Maybe momma will make her special peaches?” Joel turns to face you, his head level with Carter’s.

“Please,” Carter begs.

He and Joel give you puppy dog eyes. Almost impossible to resist. You see the sorrow Joel is pushing back, but something nudges at you. This is what he wants. He wants pancakes with your mom’s peach pie filling, just like Sarah always requested on her birthday.

“I think we can make that happen.”

Ellie bustles in ready for Sunday breakfast soon after. You wonder if she knows what today is. Tommy, Maria, and Elias wander in unannounced but welcomed nonetheless. Elias walks around on unsteady feet, still getting his sea legs under him.

Joel pulls you out of the house after you eat, hand in hand. He doesn’t say anything to Tommy and Maria, leaving you with the impression that this was all planned in advance. Two horses are already saddled. “What do you have up your sleeve?”

“I’m taking you somewhere.” Joel smiles, handing you the reins.

You go in the opposite direction of your last expedition. This ride is quieter, the breeze rustling through the tall grass and the horses’ snorts your only company. You travel over one of the smaller ridges, greeted with a smattering of blues, yellows, and oranges. You pull the horse to a stop in awe of the beauty. Joel smiles back at you.

“Is this where you’ve been gettin all the flowers?”

“They’re at their peak this week. Wanted you to see them.”

He grins. “C’mon.”

You hitch the horses to a tree near a stream. Joel grabs your hand, pulling you deeper into the field of wildflowers. Bees buzz. Butterflies flap around. Joel stops once you’re in the middle. He’s still, a butterfly, painted orange and black, lands on his shoulder. Your breath catches. He stares at it. You swear you see his lips move. His crow's feet crinkle, and the butterfly takes flight, flapping around both of you.

He pulls you to the ground, pulling you to sit between his legs. He buries his head between your shoulders. “I feel closest to her here.”

You smile, hands running across his jeans. “I can see why.”

He hums in acknowledgment, leaving the two of you to sit in peace. Eventually, Joel guides you to the ground, hidden by the growth. It spills out of him like water from a fountain. What he remembers most about her, and what he struggles to recall. What he thinks she would be like now.

He tells you the story of her 5th birthday. Sarah took a pair of safety scissors to her hair, leaving her curls lopsided and sticking up everywhere. She cried while Tommy couldn’t stop laughing at her.

You laugh, back arching off the solid ground slightly. Joel’s chuckle echoes deeply in your ears. Tears gather in your eyes as he continues to describe the disastrous birthday.

The sun hangs golden in the sky and the tall flowers make you feel a million miles away from everything, like it’s just the two of you in the whole wide world. Your body thrums like you’ve just woken up from a Sunday afternoon nap on the couch. The gentle breeze is cool against your neck as it rustles through the field

“Thank you,” Joel says. “I needed to talk about this.”

You nod, looking over at him. “Of course.”

His deep brown eyes are on you, swimming with warmth and affection that makes your chest feel like it could burst. You know that look so well. You wonder if he sees it in you too. You know it’s there. It’s been there for a while now growing with each tender touch and silent moment. You’ve accepted it, but you won’t give it a name. You won’t say it out loud- let the world hear it so it knows what to take from you next.

Joel cups your cheeks. His callouses skim across your skin so lightly it sends chills all the way down to your bare toes. You turn on your side, hair spilling to the side. You lean in, touching your nose to his, drawing closer to his lips before you pull back, teasing him.

He sighs eliciting another giggle from your throat. His fingers slide over you and land at the base of your neck, guiding your lips to his. He hums against you and you happily fall into him. These days of peace and laziness are so few and far between. Your days outside of the Jackson walls are even fewer, but you’ll sneak out with him any day if it means this.

When you separate, it’s there in his eyes again burning brighter. His heart speeds up beneath your palm. You can feel the words developing inside him, threatening to pop out and tear it all apart. Joel’s lips barely move, no sound ever leaves them before you cover them with your hand. He looks confused, but he catches it. It’s the same panic he saw that night he found you crying under the pines, and when you turned away from him the first day he snuck you out.

You don’t need to say a word, but he hears your pleas, and he nods, covering your hand with his as you slowly pull it back.

He kisses your palm, long slow kisses, making his way up your forearm, the crook of your elbow, bicep, shoulder, and collarbone. You’re returned to your back. Joel hovers over you. Your fingers dance over his brow, and his eyes flutter close for a few seconds.

He’s so relaxed here. The wrinkles set in his forehead and around his eyes are less pronounced making him look 10 years younger. Your heart swells again and for a minute you contemplate throwing caution to the wind, maybe the universe won’t hear you here, taking cover in the wildflowers, muted by the gentle breeze.

His lips are warm against yours. He moves slow and sweet like honey, like time is his to waste.

When he pulls away, his eyes are a shade darker. Your breath catches as you notice the desire that’s beginning to pool in them. There’s another unfamiliar layer. It sends a rush through you because you know it’s love.

Your hands fly to his mouth. You won’t let him say it. He can’t say it. Your head shakes softly, scared to ruin this perfect sacred moment. “Please,” Your voice is barely above a whisper, floating away on the breeze. “Don’t say it, Joel. I- I can’t.” Tears threatened to cloud your vision. You worry he’ll reject you, get fed up waiting for you to let him say it.

He inhales softly, lips deliberately pressing against your palm. “I know, Sweetheart.” Another kiss. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

He leans in, leaving soft kisses over your face. Your heart clenches. You should be able to give him this, on today of all days, but you can’t.

His lips dip to your ear. His breath is hot against your neck. “Mine.”

Your hands thread through his hair. It’s longer than he usually keeps it. His lips touch your cheek and then your lips. It looks chaste, but there’s a promising heat behind it. He pulls back just enough to meet your eyes. “Be mine.”

You catch the hint of fear in him that maybe those words will send you into a tailspin, but they don’t. It’s a complete statement: be mine. There’s nothing to add to it. You are simply his. It feels like a safe zone. A definition of what the two of you are. It soothes all your anxieties. You can live in the in-between with him. He’s not even asking to be yours but you know he is.

Joel’s forehead rests against yours. Your thumb brushes over his cheek. He’s looking into your eyes with such devotion. At the same moment, he repeats the words a third time, you tell him. “Yes.”

His eyes shine with wonderment like he can’t believe it like this is a dream.

“I’m yours.”

A smile tips his lips toward the sky and then they’re on yours. All the words and thoughts he holds back for you translate into the physical.

Author’s Note: THIS MARKS THE END OF PART I of Woman!

If you’ve taken a look at the masterlist, you’ll see I’ve divided this fic into 3 parts! Please take a look at the short series Before between Parts I and II. It would mean so much! And you get to learn more about Reader’s back story! 💕 thank you all for your continued support!

#joel miller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro stories #pedrostories #pedro pascal fanfiction #woman (joel’s version)#woman (joel miller)

176 notes · View notes

pedrointofolklore · 9 months

Text

Long story short

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: weeks had passed since your steamy kiss with joel, and you wanted more. sequel to this is me trying.

warnings: smut 18+ mdni, oral (f!receiving), unprotected p in v, creampie, joel miller has a big dick, emotional sex, brief mention of sex as currency (as part of reader’s backstory), allusions to depression and suicidal ideation, lots of fluff with a bit of angst, enemies to lovers (they’re in their lover era), extremely soft joel, joel is so disastrously in love, self-loathing due to a guilty conscience, lots of swearing, age gap (unspecified), no use of y/n, ellie era (ellie is only mentioned)

word count: 3.4k

a/n: hey y’all. so part one did way better than i ever expected. thank you to everyone who has supported it. if you haven’t read it i highly recommend you do before reading this. if you have read it: enjoy part two! the title is once again a taylor swift song.

It had been weeks since you kissed Joel.

Neither of you acknowledged it. After the shitstorm that was Kansas City, your focus was making it to Wyoming on foot. Addressing one kiss wasn’t high on the list of priorities.

But you still thought about it. A lot. And it seemed like Joel did too.

Joel Miller wasn’t nice as a rule, but he was good to you. He confided in you, asked for your input, and did what he could to make you feel like your presence was important. Whether or not it was actually important, you just appreciated that he was trying.

And you were trying too. You were doing your best to be present, focus on the positives, and take a breath before sprinting headfirst into danger. Just as Tess would have done.

You couldn’t have predicted that Ellie would end up inspiring you. There was something about her that reminded you of yourself (which was ultimately cause for concern), but she was different in the ways that mattered most. She was funny and resilient and excited about things, even in this vile world she was living in.

You wanted to be more like her.

There was an abandoned, isolated cabin somewhere between Kansas City and Kearney—you weren’t sure exactly where at this point. It was a corroded, rotting structure, with shattered windows and wooden panels threatening to collapse, but it was better than sleeping outside in the middle of nowhere.

There were two beds and a couch inside. Ellie passed out almost immediately after calling dibs on the bed upstairs. The poor girl was exhausted. Meanwhile, Joel laid down on the couch and shut his eyes, pretending to go to sleep. This was clearly an act; he wasn't going to sleep, he was going to keep watch.

You hadn’t slept in a bed since the QZ, and though this bed was old and musty and probably infested with microscopic bed bugs, it somehow felt like the most comfortable thing in the world. This was the first time in so long it didn’t feel like you were in a rush. You could just exist and let your mind wander.

Letting your mind wander was something you typically avoided, but instead of your thoughts leading you down a trail of despondency, they led you to Joel. You pictured him sitting upright on the couch, scanning the area through fractured windows, clutching a shotgun and trying to stay awake. You wondered what he was thinking about.

If you still want it later, you can have it.

That was what he’d said to you. It was such a new feeling; wanting Joel, wanting anything. You thought about the kiss again, and a warm, tingly sensation spread throughout your entire body like ink seeping into wet paper.

It was later, and you still wanted it.

Joel was awake.

This wasn’t new. Joel hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in 20 years, but it had gotten worse lately.

He’d failed everyone in Kansas City, but most of all Ellie. It left him in a constant state of unease, just waiting for something else to go wrong. Even sleeping stressed him out now.

Then, there was you.

As everything around him gradually fell into shambles, it felt like he needed you more everyday. You were good and clever and really the only person in the world who made Joel feel like he could do this, and that terrified him. You were trying so hard, but he still had this paralysing fear of losing you.

Joel hadn’t forgotten what happened, and he hadn’t forgotten what he said.

If you still want it later, you can have it.

He wasn’t even sure what ‘it’ was referring to. Was it that he’d fuck you if you asked? He would, but he didn't think that was really what he meant.

He also wasn’t sure if you wanted it. Maybe the kiss had been just a random moment of weakness for you. Maybe you woke up the next morning and realised that Joel was the last person in the world you could ever want. The thought gnawed at him; infected him like some faceless monstrosity with razor-sharp teeth.

But if by some chance you wanted it—wanted him—he would give you everything he had. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, and certainly not your admiration, but you deserved to get whatever you wanted out of him. He would let you come to him, and he would do anything you asked if it meant keeping you here.

The sound of your door clicking open jerked Joel from his anxious ruminating. His eyes followed you as you sauntered over to the couch and plonked yourself down next to him, crossing your legs with an air of forced nonchalance.

“What are you doing up?” Joel asked.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you said. “You’re also up.”

“Just keepin’ watch.”

“We’re indoors in the middle of nowhere, Joel,” you replied. “I think you can sleep for a bit.”

Joel didn’t say anything. He couldn’t get into this with you. He didn’t want to ruin the newfound trust you had in him by letting you know what a mess he was.

“Unless there’s something else keeping you up,” you spoke in a nervous whisper, like you were testing the waters to see if Joel would actually entertain this conversation.

Of course he would. There were things Joel didn’t want to talk about—anything that had ever happened to him, for example—but the only thing stronger than his propensity to never let anyone in was the urge he had to never deny you.

“Just been worried about you, I guess.”

Your mouth formed a constrained smile. It didn’t quite reach your eyes. “We talked about this. I’m fine now, Joel.”

“One talk can’t solve everything.” Or one kiss, for that matter.

“I’m not asking you to solve anything,” you replied, your tone becoming heightened. “Worry about the important things, like Ellie and finding your brother and—"

“You are important.”

He felt a rush of anger, but not at you. Never at you. He was angry at himself. Of course you felt unimportant when he’d spent so long making you feel that way. It wasn’t fair that he got to wake up one day and decide to stop being an asshole while you still had to live with the consequences of his assholery.

You sat there not saying anything, and Joel was certain that you were about to walk away from this conversation. The irony wasn’t lost on him; for two people who hated heartfelt discussions, you couldn’t seem to stop finding yourselves in the middle of them.

“Joel…” Your voice came out breathy and desperate. It was completely unexpected. He couldn’t describe the feeling of hearing you say his name like that. All he knew was that he wanted to fall to his knees at your feet.

“What do you need?” Joel asked. He hoped that he already knew the answer.

“I need you.”

He let out a shaky exhale—relieved and nervous all at once. “You have me, sweetheart. You know that."

Being naked on a grotty mattress with a fully-clothed man above you should have been horrifically vulnerable, but you couldn’t muster up any uncertainty with Joel. All you felt was an excited kind of anticipation.

You never expected Joel to be so affectionate, but he held you like you were something worth caring for. He took his time, kissing you slow and undressing you bit by bit until you were bare for him. You felt the same heated intensity you had that night in the woods, but without the crushing sense of urgency.

Your breath hitched when Joel trailed kisses from your chest down past your navel. He stopped at the lowest part of your belly, looking up at you with lustful, imploring eyes. “Can I taste you, sweetheart?”

“Please…” You already sounded embarrassingly wrecked.

Your body jolted when Joel dragged a finger through your soaked slit, gathering up the obscene amount of wetness that was dripping out of you and spreading it over your aching clit.

Then, without a word, he pushed himself up and off the bed. You looked at him in dismay, about to berate him for teasing, but your voice caught in your throat when he crouched down at the end of the bed and grabbed you by the hips, pulling you forward until your ass was lined up with the edge of the mattress, and your legs were thrown over his shoulders.

The sound that escaped you when Joel sucked your clit into his mouth was borderline feral. You didn’t know you were capable of making a noise like that—something between a pathetic gasp and a wanton moan.

“Oh f—Joel! Feels so good. What the fuck.” You were breathless and shaking and grabbing a fistful of his hair.

“Ssh, sweetheart,” Joel hushed. You clenched around nothing when his warm breath hit your drenched core. “Need you to be quiet. Can you do that for me, baby?”

He didn’t even wait for you to try and compose yourself before devouring you again. He had a lot of audacity to think he could tell you to be quiet as he tongue-fucked you senseless. And then, like he was trying to get you to scream, he prodded a finger at your entrance and slipped it inside.

“That feel good?” Joel asked, curling his finger as he pumped it into you.

You whined and pulled his hair harder. He let out a low groan and continued flicking his tongue over your clit, and it dawned on you that he wasn’t just doing this to make you feel good—he was doing it because he liked it.

He added another finger, and this time you did scream, but not before clasping a hand over your mouth to muffle the sound. It was too much now. His mouth and fingers were unrelenting, as if worshipping your cunt was his only purpose on this earth.

“Joel—F-fuck—I think I’m gonna come.”

“You can come, baby. I got you.”

Those three words were all you needed. You came hard, sobbing and writhing and crushing Joel’s head between your thighs as you tried to clamp them shut. He could not have given less of a fuck—he continued his onslaught between your legs until you were twitching with overstimulation and pulling him off by his hair.

You threw an arm over your eyes, trying to catch your breath and recover from that earth-shattering orgasm. You heard the faint clink of a belt, followed by the soft sounds of fabric hitting the floor. You opened your eyes when the mattress dipped, revealing a very naked Joel Miller.

This took you by surprise more than anything else. You never thought that Joel would take his clothes off for you, and you wouldn’t have asked him to—he’d done it of his own volition. He wanted to bare himself to you like you had to him.

Plus, he was hot. You would have been attracted to him no matter what, but he was so undeniably sexy. His arms looked like they were carved from marble. He was broad and strong, but still had a wonderfully human softness about him. And his cock. Your mouth salivated at the sight. It was thick and long and beautiful. You wanted to drag your tongue along the vein that ran down his shaft and taste the leaking precum at the tip.

“You done starin’?” Joel asked, blushing at the way you were blatantly ogling him.

You giggled and climbed into his lap, your knees settling on either side of his hips. “Stop being so pretty if you don’t want me to stare.”

Joel let out a genuine, light-hearted laugh—something you’d only witnessed him do a handful of times. You wanted to bottle the sound and keep it forever. “I’m pretty, am I?”

“So pretty.” You leaned forward and kissed him, painfully aware of his hard cock pressed against your inner thigh.

You reached down and wrapped a hand around his length, teasing the slit with your thumb and spreading the dribbling fluid. You pumped him a few times, noticing the way his belly tightened as he sucked in a sharp breath.

“You’re so good, sweetheart," he spoke with a low, sultry tone, "but I really need to fuck you now.”

Joel had you pinned under him in a second, hiking your legs up around his hips while his cock bumped your entrance.

“Ready?” Joel asked.

You nodded eagerly and repeated what you told him earlier, “I need you.”

Joel lined the head of his cock up with your wet heat, stroking it through your folds and teasing your sensitive clit. He leaned down and placed a sweet kiss on your lips as he finally pushed into you.

The stretch stung even with how wet you were. You dug your nails into his back and tried not to wince, all while Joel planted comforting kisses around your face.

“It’ll feel good in a second, baby,” he whispered against your cheek. “Tell me to stop if it’s too much.”

“It’s okay, Joel,” you assured him. “Don’t stop.”

He paused when he was buried to the hilt, giving you a moment to adjust. You weren’t completely inexperienced, but the sheer size of Joel was a lot to take.

But it wasn't long before the sting started to morph into pleasure. You felt keyed up and desperate and so incredibly full. “You can move now.”

His hands settled on your thighs as he pulled his cock out and slowly pushed it back in. Your walls fluttered around him, spurring him on. He did it again, this time plunging it harder and faster.

You gasped at the feeling, gushing around his cock and wrapping your legs around his waist to bring him closer. He set a steady, delicious pace, pounding into you the way you hadn't even known you'd been craving.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight, sweetheart. Shit. So good. So fuckin' perfect.”

You moaned at his slurry of praise, angling your hips up so he reached even deeper. You ran a hand over his back and down to his plush ass, giving it a firm squeeze. Joel chuckled fondly and traced affectionate nibbles along your jaw.

It hit you all at once that you had never been this happy before. Having Joel in your arms, buried inside you, giving you everything he could was beyond euphoric. You didn't know if you would ever feel this good again.

And suddenly, he stopped. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Fuck. You were crying. “Nothing. Just don’t stop.”

“I need you to talk to me, sweetheart.” He made a move to pull out, but you panicked and tightened your legs around his waist to hold him there.

“It’s nothing bad. I just can’t believe this is happening,” you told him. Warm, pearly tears leaked from the corners of your eyes, but you smiled in spite of yourself. “It feels so good, and I’m just…really happy it's you.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Joel cooed, kissing your tear-stained temples. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? So fuckin’ sweet. Gonna keep you forever, baby. Don’t worry.”

His mouth caught yours in a kiss that was both fervent and impossibly romantic. He tongue slipped past your lips, licking into your mouth with a tender intensity that had you mewling.

Joel resumed thrusting into you. His pace was slower, but his cock was hitting deeper. The warmth in your belly was quickly turning into a burning fire—a fire you wanted to keep on raging.

You were so close, and you knew Joel would never come before you did, but you were determined to hold out; to hold onto this rapturous intimacy as long as you could.

“It’s okay,” Joel said, as if he was reading your mind. “You’re okay.”

You couldn't stop it. Your walls tightened like a vice. You arched and trembled and clawed at Joel, muttering broken curses as he fucked you through your orgasm.

His hips faltered, his thrusts lost their rhythm, and you knew he was about to come. He probably needed to pull out. You probably needed to tell him to. But he just kept plunging his cock into you, and you kept letting him. His eyes were dark and pleading—he was begging you to let this happen.

You wanted him to do it. “Please, Joel.”

He growled a deep, rumbling ‘fuuuuck,' cock twitching and painting your walls with thick ropes of come.

He let out a contented sigh once he recovered and collapsed on top of you, burying his head in the crook of your neck while your fingers sifted through his damp hair.

This would be over soon. Before Joel could give in to his exhaustion and fall asleep on top of you, he would remember where he was: in a decaying cabin at the end of the world with two people who needed him. Soon enough, he would stand up, dress himself, and go back to keeping watch.

You wished you could have this with him all the time. You wished you could fall asleep with him, wake up with him, and spend your days together with some semblance of peace. You didn’t want much, but you wanted that.

“Was that your first time?”

The thought only occurred to Joel when everything was said and done and he was cleaning you up. It made sense—you were young when the outbreak happened, you’d been relatively alone until you met him and Tess, and he could tell by the way your body reacted to him that it wasn’t used to such an intrusion.

“No, but it felt like it,” you replied. “It’s the first time I’ve ever wanted to.”

Joel’s heart plummeted into his stomach. His mouth went dry, his jaw clicked the way it did when he was enraged, and he felt just about ready to kill someone.

“Not like that, Joel,” you said quickly. “I agreed to it. It was...I didn’t have anything else to trade.”

Joel was destroyed, but it wasn’t even a shocking revelation. He didn’t judge you for it—he’d turned to a lot worse in the name of survival—it just made him feel sick that you were ever in that position. You deserved to be cherished and taken care of, not used and discarded.

“Do you still do that?” He almost wanted to ask if you’d ever done it for his or Tess’s benefit, but he feared the answer would crush him.

“No. Not for years,” you replied. “It wasn’t that bad, honestly. It was only a couple of times.”

That’s still bad.

Joel held you close, stroking your hair and kissing your lovely face. Maybe it was because you had told him all of that while you were both still naked, but he felt like he needed to remind you that he adored your body, as well as the soul it carried.

He also felt like he needed to apologise. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“What for?”

“Just…everything. I hate the way I treated you.”

“I already forgave you, Joel.”

Your words should have been a relief, but they felt like a hot knife piercing right into his chest. “Why?”

“You apologised, and you changed.”

“And that’s enough?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because I hurt you. I made you feel like you shouldn’t be here.” His throat ached as he swallowed down the emotion rising in him. He didn't want to sound as devastated as he felt, because he knew you would comfort him if he did, and this wasn’t about him.

“You didn’t make me feel like that, Joel,” you spoke with gentle reassurance. “I felt that way for a long time. Before I met you.”

“Okay, but I didn’t help.”

“No, you didn’t, but that’s over now. I don’t want to keep harping on it.”

“What do you want?” Joel asked. It was a heavy question, and one you hadn’t considered in so long—he knew that because he hadn’t either.

You snuggled into him, so cute and cosy it made him ache. “Just this. Can we have this?”

Truthfully, Joel was terrified, and he knew it wasn’t going to stop. He used to think that having you close like this would make it harder, but there was a strange sense of relief in having this with you. He didn’t have to worry from afar anymore. He could hold onto you, and look after you. He had you right there with him.

“Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

Joel laid with you until you fell asleep. He wanted to stay like that all night, sleeping with you curled up in his arms. He hoped that one day he would get to.

Right now, he needed to keep watch.

a/n: im so awkward about writing smut so if that came across while reading pls forgive me. im overall pretty happy with how this turned out. i might write some drabbles about this relationship down the road, but im leaving these two here for now. thanks for reading! p.s. in order to stay true to part one, im sick again posting this. (why do i keep getting sick??)

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller imagine #the last of us #pedro pascal #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction

363 notes · View notes

keraxxx · 1 year

Text

You’re Perfect

Maddy x Black Fem! Reader

Warnings: Smut, fingering, teasing, unedited work(sorry for any errors or if something doesn’t make sense)

Summary: You’ve had your eye on Maddy for a long time and she has had her eye on you. Not only does she find you pretty, she wants to fuck you.

~~~~~

When you had first saw Maddy, you instantly knew she was your soulmate or something. She was practically perfect, starting from her personality alone. The kind-bitchy act she did always seemed to turn you on. You almost want to touch yourself thinking about how she performs her cheer routines, swaying her hips along side Cassie, her perfect slim hands sliding up her body like a snake. Every time you walked past, Nate would be there. Obviously you would expect her to look at Nate, But she stares at you with her pretty little alluring eyes. You snap out of your trance as soon as Rue snaps her fingers in your face.

“Hellooo? Earth to y/n.” She laughs and stares at Jules raising an eyebrow. “Oh yeah what are we talking about?” you talk still staring at Maddy, her body.. her hair.. everything about her it’s almost like she seducing you. It’s almost like she’s not just dancing to practice.. just to turn you on. You look at Jules and Rue practically rolling your eyes in annoyance. “Interesting.. “ Jules said laughing. You flicked her off and turned your full attention to the couple.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

“You want to come over tonight? Jules and I were gonna have a movie marathon…” Rue raised an eyebrow after she abruptly stopped and looked behind you. You turned around and saw Maddy towering over you. “Hey y/n… um i know we don’t talk much but..” she stops and grabs your wrist. Maddy takes a pen that was sitting on the table and starts writing numbers on your arm.

“Call me and we can hang out.. or study.. or.. Yeah!” she licks her lips winking and walks away to get back to her group of cheer friends. You cock your head slightly at Jules and Rue. “I’ll be busy tonight.”

~~~~~~~~

You were in the bathroom, fixing your curly hair , adding a bit of oil to your scalp when a buzzing sensation ran through the counter and you washed your hands to pick up your phone. You scroll up and see a notification from Maddy?

- Maddy💋: Don’t ask how or why but… i’m at your front door.✔️✔️

-Huh?? 😰

Delivered is the only thing you see before a knock lands at the door. It’s almost pounding, like it’s urgent.. You quickly scrunch your hair with a towel to prevent droplets from dripping down your shirt. You walk to the door and open it all the way. “I see no cars out front. You’re all alone?” She says rapidly turning her phone in her hands. “Yeah.. my parents are out of town..” You smirked and let Maddy walk in.

As soon as you lock the door, Maddy’s hands rest on your shoulders, turning you around. “Now y/n.. I see you staring everyday. What’s up with that?” She bit her lip and her hand slid up your arm. “I- uh…” Your mouth goes dry.

“What’s wrong with you? You look so nervous.”

Your eyes widened. “I’m um.. i’m sorry??” Maddy looks at your eyes, exactly the same way you had been doing with all her cheer practices. “Calm down Y/N.” she giggled at your face.“Let’s watch a movie yeah?” You laughed and dragged her to your bed.

~~~~~

Weeks passes and you and Maddy were getting closer. You could tell Nate was jealous, the fact that every time you walked past him he would glare at you like you had a third eye right in the middle of your forehead. Or maybe it was because Maddy keeps on blowing off Nate to hang out with you.

Your head rested between Maddy’s thighs as she braided your curls back, just playing with your hair. You groaned slightly as her phone keep ringing. “Okay Maddy- What- why do you do that?” You grabbed her hand and laced her fingers with yours. “Blow off Nate? Well his dick isn’t big enough.” She joked and you rolled your eyes. You scooted towards the edge of your bed, leaving a empty gap between the both of you. “I’m being serious. Like why choose me over him.”

“Because i like you. Can i not like the special beautiful y/n?” Maddy crawled towards you on her hands and knees teasingly. She grabs the side of your face. “You don’t understand how you make me feel..” she paused and her hand slowly made its way down to your shirt, playing with your bra strap. “How many times i’ve thought about you in bed.”

You groaned as her lips got closer to yours, your hot breath fanning over her face. “Can i?” she questions and you nodded eagerly. Maddy’s lips slammed into yours as her hand kneaded your breast in her soft hands. She hummed a tune to herself as she slowly made her way down to your pants. She slowly pulled them down as she looked up at your flustered face. "Do you enjoy this baby?" her tone made you throw your head back in pleasure. "Fuck.. keep going please Maddy."

She giggles to herself and looked into your eyes as she teases her way into your underwear, pulling at the band and the slight sting ran through your body. “Oh god Maddy-“ you gasped as she slid your panties to the side, her fingers teased your entrance. Without any warning, she slammed her digits into you, pounding in and out. Your moans and whimpers were music to her ears.

“Please please please- Ngh-“ your hands gripped Maddy’s shoulders, indenting them. You rested against her, her mouth next to your ear.

“You’re so pretty.” she moaned. “You’re perfect”

A knot started forming in your stomach as Maddy continued assaulting you and your pussy. “Mhmm.. cum for me.” She smirked, kissing the side of your face as you yelped, liquid falling down Maddy’s fingers.

She brought her fingers up to her lips and licked them till they were clean. “You taste so good.” she teased. You laid back on your bed to catch your breath.

“My pretty girl.” she giggled.

#smut #x reader #euphoria smut #euphoria #maddy perez #maddy perez x reader #black reader #fem reader

867 notes · View notes

joelslegalwhre · 10 months

Text

"Stop flirting." "Then stop teasing." | Dieter Bravo x f!reader

word count: 2k

pairing: dieter bravo x fem!reader

summary: You're interviewing Dieter for his new movie, and no matter how many years you've been together - recently married too - he loves to flirt with you like the first time you've met.

warnings: age gap (reader is in late 20s, Dieter in his 50s but only mentioned once), Dieter flirting needs a warning, fluff, reader and Dieter are married, Dieters mind is pure smut who's surprised, allusions to smut, reader wears a dress and gets her nails done, use of the word "Daddy" like once (don't read it if you don't like it), use of nicknames (baby -like a hundred times, peach), also little disclaimer; I'm reading smut like my life depends on it but I've never properly written it so bare with me pls, not proofread

a/n: I saw a TikTok for this a while ago about Pedro (the account is pedritolovesu) and got super excited to write a little something for Dieter with it.. so have fun y'all

I'm a whore for age gaps, sorry not sorry

main masterlist

the gif is by a7estrellas (I found it on Pinterest)

"First of all, thank you for your time, Dieter." You started the interview. "It’s my pleasure." He answered with his signature grin, his fingers playing with the ring on his finger.

"Tell me, what was your favorite part about filming the new Cliff Beasts movie?"

"Oh, there are a few," Dieter began to tell some stories from the set, stories you already knew about, because he had told you all of them right after they happened. Calling you late at night, during the day, or sometimes just right after you woke up.

Interviewing Dieter was still something you found a little strange, but in a good way.

It didn’t happen often, but when it did, work felt a little less like actual work. When Dieter was there, it was easier, and you instantly felt like you’re home again.

Today, it was just the two of you, no co-stars or other interviewers. Which also meant, no distractions from the looks Dieter gave you.

"Well, that sure sounds like a lot of fun." You smiled at him, when he had finished, "Oh it was." He grinned, but his eyes never left your lips once when he spoke.

You tried to give him a warning look that said "stop it, concentrate", but you already knew it would do nothing to stop Dieter.

The interview went on for a little longer, you asked him some fan questions you had gotten before the interview for him, which Dieter all answered perfectly.

His flirting didn’t stop though. His eyes couldn’t stop wandering between your lips and your eyes, and the subtle winks weren’t as subtle as he thought. „Stop it, Bravo.“ You whispered in a short break, while the crew was angling the camera for another shot.

"Stop teasing me and I might." He threw you an air kiss, jokingly, making you chuckle.

Not everyone knew that you were married to Dieter Bravo, although it was pretty obvious when you were in situations like this one. And your last name didn’t hide the fact either.

Dieter managed to keep most of your relationship from the public. But of course the majority of people, especially his fans, knew. And there was nothing wrong with that, you didn’t want to hide anything. It was just nice to have some privacy then and there, so you didn’t make a big fuss about it.

The first time rumors had reached the media that Dieter Bravo was off the market, you had already been dating for almost a year. And the real shocker wasn’t the obvious age gap, with Dieter being twice your age, but the fact that he dated someone for longer than a month.

"Sorry guys, the camera just stopped working, one second. Sorry, Dieter." Your camera man said all of a sudden. „Oh shit, okay.“ You nodded in surprise. "Yeah, no problem man." Dieter assured him. Not a second later, some of the crew was back around Dieter, to freshen him up.

When he took something out of his pocket that suspiciously looked like the small box, he had his "drugs on the go" -how he liked to call them- in, you raised your eyebrows and shook your head, "No. Definitely not here". Dieter was down bad for you, and literally did anything that would please you, so to the obvious surprise of some crew members, he stuffed the box back into his pocket with a sigh.

"Fine, fine."

"You know I don’t care, but not at work. Please?" you gave him your best pout, you knew he couldn’t say no to.

"Yeah, yeah okay, baby." Dieter looked up at the guy who was relatively new to the team that always surrounded Dieter.

What was his name again? He couldn’t remember.

"Happy wife, happy life. Isn’t that the shit they say?" He shrugs and goes on, "I’ll do what my girl wants. No one can tell me shit, but you bet she can."

The expression on the guy’s face changed from surprised to confused and then surprised again, making you giggle quietly. "Oh, you’re married?" He asked, eyebrows raised. Dieter shot him a lopsided grin, "Heck yes, we are." Dieters eyes locked with yours and you couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. There was nothing that made you as happy as knowing you’re married to him, his drug problems aside, being Mrs. Bravo was so different to anything you had imagined as a little girl. And you loved it.

"Alright, cameras are working again, guys." The camera man announced, and the crew quickly left the two of you alone again.

As the interview went on, you asked Dieter some more questions about the new movie, how shooting under quarantine was for him - horrible, he had called you what feels like a hundred times a day, whining about being alone and horny- and if there were any new movies coming up with him. Dieter answered everything you wanted to know, giving the fans some insights into the film and little sneak peaks. One being a short scene, which was currently playing on a little screen next to you. Later on, the video would be seen during the interview clips, but the screen was for you to know when to go on with the interview.

Dieter had other plans, though. He didn’t pay an ounce of attention to what was playing on the screen, his attention on your nails instead.

"Did you get your nails done?" He asked, leaning forward to hold your hand and inspect your new set of nails.

He had only seen you when he fell into bed, the night before. He didn’t usually come home as late as he did yesterday, but the press tour has really been "kicking his balls", to quote him. So you must have gotten them done either yesterday or today, there hasn’t been a time Dieter didn’t notice a new set of nails. Not once.

"Yesterday, after work." You softly smiled, showing Dieter the nails. So he was right. "They match the ring." He gave you one of his cocky grins. "That was the intention." You grinned back at him. Neither of you had noticed that the video was long over, and the camera was back on the two of you. Faces inches apart and both of you with a stupidly content smile on your faces. "They look fucking amazing, baby." He said, almost whispering in awe. "Thank you, Dee."

"Uhm, guys." someone from the crew cleared their throat. Your head shot up, and you quickly slid back into the position you had before.

"Oh my- sorry, sorry,"

Dieter leaned back in his chair and grinned at you, again. And as much as you wanted to keep professional, you had to smile at him too.

"You should see her nails, they match our rings." Dieter said straight into one of the cameras, a cocky grin on his lips once again. You shook your head with a little giggle. So much for being professional.

"So, back to the movie, as we could all see right now, it’s very promising." You went on, trying to act like you didn’t just want to grab Dieter’s hand and drag him to your car. Driving straight home, laying next to him in bed, nice and warm, cuddled up in his arms.

Only a few more hours, you told yourself.

Dieter had to hold back like hell not to kiss you senseless in front of the crew members. He’s had a shit ton of media work today already, now that you were his last interview of the day -only some minor things to do afterwards- his mood has changed for the better, drastically.

He wanted to throw you over his shoulder -hell, he starts to think like a fucking caveman- carry you out of here and rip that fucking dress off of you. He’d even be fine with cuddling, anything that involved having you close to him. Although he wouldn’t quite be himself, if he wouldn’t also think about dragging you to the next empty room and fuck your brains out right now.

Dieter was down bad for you, and -a thing he never thought was possible for him- it only got ‚worse‘ when the two of you got married. Calling you Mrs.Bravo for the first time had him almost come in his jeans.

The interview was finally done, and you got up from your chair to get rid of all the mics and cables.

"Do you know when you’re coming home today?" You asked Dieter, back still turned to him, untangling a cable that got stuck in the chair somehow. "Hopefully fucking soon." He’s had enough of behaving, he desperately needed to feel you, even if it was just a quick kiss, his cock already painfully hard in his jeans.

"You look fucking beautiful today, baby. The most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen." Dieter whispered in your ear. He wrapped his arms around your waist, as he pressed your back against his chest. "Well, thank you, but I’m still working, you know." You chuckled, joking with him. You couldn’t care less that you were at work right now, and Dieter knew you well enough to know.

"Yeah, working pretty hard, interviewing your husband in that tease of a dress, baby."

You grinned, the dress was one of his favorites, and it showed enough skin without being too exposing to wear it for work.

"You know I fucking love it." He whispered, so only you could hear it. "Really? I had no idea, Bravo." You teased him with a grin, turning your head to see his face.

You could feel his stubble on your cheek as he got even closer to your ear and pressed you tighter to his body. "Can you feel what you do to be, baby? I’ll rip that fucking dress up the second we’re home." His bulge was pressing against your lower back, and your body immediately reacted to it.

"I thought you loved it? Wouldn’t wanna ruin it, would you?" You kept teasing him, feeling his grip on your waist tighten. "Don’t challenge me, baby."

"Or what?" You looked at him with a spark in your eyes. He nuzzled his nose in the nook between your neck and shoulder. You closed your eyes at the feeling, stopping a moan from escaping your lips. "Or I’ll take your cute ass to that storage room right now and let everyone hear how good your husband treats you." He said with a low groan, sending vibrations through your whole body, straight to your core.

It took you every inch of will power you had left, not to make a head start to that damn storage room down the hall. You could feel the wetness pool in your panties.

Instead, you turned around in his embrace and slung your arms around his neck. Playing with the strands of his now almost salt and pepper hair, you got on your tiptoes, brushing his lips with your own. "I’ll be waiting for you at home, Daddy." It elected another groan out of Dieter, his eyes closed, probably imagining what he’d do to you later.

You gave him another soft kiss, and caressed his cheek, running your finger down bis jawline. "I’d do something about that, if I were you." You smugly grinned at Dieter's noticeable bulge in his pants. "I’d be careful what to say, peach." He muttered into your ear. Oh, you couldn’t wait to get home.

Everyone had left the room by now, leaving the two of you behind.

"I love you." you whispered, looking into his chocolate brown eyes. There was no more joking in your voice. No more teasing.

"I love you too, baby." Dieter pressed his forehead against yours and his nose gently nudged against your own. "I love you." He repeated and closed the little gap between you. You smiled into the kiss, letting your hands wander from his soft tummy to his back.

"I can’t fucking wait to get home." Dieter grunted out between kisses.

I had to include this Dieter picture because🥵

I have an update blog now, so follow @joelslegalwhrereads if you want to get updated when I post💗

taglist: @alexxavicry @snow30285 @queer_poncho (tell me if you want to be added to the taglist) 🖤 @mountsgirl (thank you for being the best bestie I could ask for🫶)

buy me a coffee if you want🖤

#fluff #pedro pascal #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo #the bubble #x reader #pedro pascal x reader #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x you #em's masterlist

270 notes · View notes

cutielando · 8 months

Text

it’s going to be okay ~ jj maybank

my masterlist

When you received a call from JJ asking you to pick him up from his place at 1 in the morning, you couldn't help but panic.

Getting into your car and speeding down there, your mind racing and palms sweating.

You didn't know what to expect when you pulled into his driveway, but once you saw him sitting on the porch with his head in his hands, you knew it was nothing good.

"Babe, what's wrong?" you asked once you exited the car and stood in front of him.

He was still silent, his breathing deep and harsh.

"JJ, you're scaring me. What happened?" you asked again, this time in a much lower voice.

You crouched down in front of him, softly putting your hand on his shoulder. He tensed at the feeling of you touching him, but relaxed soon after.

When he looked up at you and you saw his bloodied nose and the bruises already forming on the side of his jaw and under his eye, you gasped.

"It's not as bad as it looks like" he commented, trying to shrug the whole thing off.

"Who did this to you?" your voice was no louder than a whisper, the words getting stuck in your throat.

You couldn't believe that someone could hurt him like this. He had such a big heart, seeing him like this only made your blood boil.

"It was nobody, don't worry about it" you could tell from his voice that he was holding back tears, something he tended to do a lot.

You were about to put up a fight and insist on him telling you what happened, but seeing his broken expression was enough to make you let it go. For now.

"Come on, let's go and get you cleaned up" you helped him get into your car, your heart breaking when you heard him hiss and clutch his ribs.

The ride to your house was silent, neither of you daring to speak. Your mind was racing as hell, adrenaline pumping through your veins when you thought about your boyfriend being hurt by someone.

You didn't even realize you had made it home until you were faced with your familiar garage, which was empty. Your parents weren't home, thankfully.

"Come on" your voice was soft as you looked at JJ, who was not making eye contact with you if he could help it.

You got out of the car and helped him walk up the stairs to your room, going slowly as to not cause him any more pain.

The door to your bathroom was open, so JJ silently walked over and sat on the edge of the bathtub, patiently waiting for you to come back with your first aid kit.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" you asked once you appeared and took out a cloth and some medicine.

You dabbed the cloth in the little bottle and stood between his legs, your hand hovering over his cuts.

"I..." he started but stopped as soon as the cloth made contact with his skin. He hissed loudly but didn't complain, knowing you had to do it.

"I'm sorry, I promise I'll be quick" you said and proceeded to clean his cuts as quickly and efficiently as possible.

"It was my dad" he spoke after you finished, his voice so quiet you almost didn't hear him.

"What? Your dad did this to you?" you were in disbelief. You couldn't believe his own father could hurt him like that.

Tears started forming in the corner of your eyes, the information having hit you like a ton of bricks.

"Hey, don't cry, I'm okay" he tried to get up and comfort you, but the pain in his ribs and stomach prevented him from doing that.

You didn't say anything but closed the gap between you and hugged him tightly to your body, making sure not to squeeze him too tightly.

You silently cried into his shoulder, one of your hands in his hair and the other rubbing soothing circles on his back. He hugged you weakly, not wanting to force his muscles any more than he has to.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I should've realized he was hurting you sooner, I didn't know. I'm so sorry you had to go through this" you whispered over and over again, tears continuously falling down your cheeks.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay. I didn't want you to know, it's my fault" he comforted you, placing a kiss under your ear.

It amazed you how selfless he was. Even now, when he's hurting and he just needs someone there, he still tried to comfort you and make sure you're okay.

"You're okay now, baby. He's not going to hurt you anymore because you're not going to that house again, do you hear me?" you slightly pulled away from the hug, instead holding his face in your hands to make sure he was listening to you.

"I can't, I don't have anywhere to go. John B needs his space, I can't hang out there all the time" his voice is so quiet, like he is afraid of speaking any louder.

"You're going to stay here with me, okay? My parents adore you, they will be over the moon of having you here all the time, and you'll be keeping me company when they're not home. Please?" you pulled your best puppy dog face you could muster, knowing that he won't be able to resist you.

Just as expected, he nodded and manages to crack a small smile, a sight which warmed your heart.

"I don't deserve you" he spoke next, making your stare harden.

"You do, stop saying that. You deserve me and everything good that life has to offer. You're perfect, JJ, and anyone who doesn't think that is not worth it"

He chewed the inside of his lip while looking at you, trying not to break in front of you because of how grateful he was.

"Okay" he finally said, squeezing your waist in his hands. "I love you"

"I love you too"

You closes the gap between you, your lips finding home with each other.

Nothing was alright right now. The bruises and cuts covering JJ's body were proof of that. But with time, everything was going to be okay.

You were both going to be okay.

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

JOIN MY TAG LIST HERE

REQUEST HERE

♡♡♡♡♡

Tag list: @outerudeth @zayndrider @rafedrewandjjs @dardouni @carolinaxvz @sunflowerskenz @ijustwanttoreadlols @hiireadstuff @luvdella @books0fever @spideysimpossiblegirl @sya-skies @cokepewpsii @ellouisa17

365 notes · View notes

selfloverrrrrr · 2 months

Note

Part 4 of watching you

Watching You~

Part 4

_____________________

Warning: smut, heavy smut, noncon, unprotected sex, age gap, torturing, Yandere, beating, kidnapping.....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

The next morning I woke up. Suddenly felt some pain between my legs. Then I remembered the last night. When I looked beside me I saw Gojo. He was staring at me and smirked when I looked at him. The fear came back... Gojo bring his hand on my cheek and rubs it. Then he spoke. " Are you still sceared baby?... don't be.... you know that I love you right? I love you so much...noone can love you like I do.... I own you " he said in his sleepy voice. While he was talking me tears came in my eyes because of Gojo and the pain Megumi went through.

After some time when I came out of the bathroom He was making breakfast. While doing breakfast I asked him "s-sensei?" I said. "Hmm?" Gojo replied. "can I ... Can I attend school today???" I asked. "Yeah .... I mean if you think you can walk" he said with a smirk. I looked down at my breakfast. But who knew that he'll be watching me all the time and my every move...but he didn't allow me to hide my marks he gave me last night.

So while training I got injured.... I was doing training with Maki. That wasn't a big injury tho. I went to the medical room. shoko's medical room. But I didn't know that they transferred Megumi in that room. I saw Megumi there. He was sleeping there...busy recovering. Shoko got a call so she went out telling me to wait there she'll come after sometime. When I saw Megumi I wanted to go to him and I debate with me that I should go or not because of the risk.

I saw Megumi woke up. Then his gaze came towards me.

When he saw me he smiled...but when he saw tears in my eyes he started thinking was anything wrong

Did Gojo really did something to her?

Then Megumi told me to come to him with his hand. I started walking but then stopped...and looked at the...that was closed and Gojo wasn't near there...so I took a deep breath and went to Megumi. "Hey....how r u now?" I asked and touched his hand with shaking hands. "I'm good now... my spine and hand bones are recovered totally with Shoko's reverse curse technique .... Just my legs need some more time " he said and I a

Smiled. "Hey " he spoke again "hmm?" I replied "what happened?" He asked. "W-what.... n-nothing " "was it Gojo ???" He asked and tears fall from my eyes and I told him everything happened last night and started crying.....

He couldn't believe that . 'how could Gojo do such things ' he thought.

Then he hugged me and told me not to cry and he'll be always with me.

When I looked at him... he was smiling at me... Giving me comfort. I smiled at him and kissed him. He closed his eyes and put his hand in my hair. It was so comfort kissing him.

Suddenly Gojo's voice popped up in my ear. I immediately pulled away. when I heard Gojo's voice I felt pale and numb...Gojo comes in and sees gumi but he acts normal like nothing happened. He came towards us and all of sudden choke Megumi down to the bed. "Sensei please!!!!" I cried. Megumi was struggling with getting his neck out of Gojo's hand. Gojo was chocking Megumi so hard.

With Gojo's other hand he cupped my cheek I jumps a bit and starts shaking... then he said" Are u crying?" but I didn't reply and looked at Megumi who was still struggling. Gojo suddenly puts more pressure on my cheek as he's was asking for a answer. "P-please" I said with teary eyes. Then he let go off Megumi's neck and Megumi gasped for air. I went towards Megumi but Gojo immediately pulled me towards him. And Suddenly Gojo teleports me in his room. He hold my chin and looks at my teary eyes and asked me " what did I tell u about going near him..HUH!!..seems like the promise about hurting him more is not enough"

He grabbed my hair and dragged me towards his bedroom. I groaned in pain. He threw me on his bed and locked the door. Took off his shirt and threw it on the floor then started crawling towards me on the bed."please stop... Not again" I cried and tried to push myself backwards but he grabbed my leg and pulled me towards him. I gasped. He was still smirking."shhhh baby.... it's just a lesson" he whispered and crashed his lips on mine.

I tried to push him away but his grip was too strong. I can't even move myself. He was kissing me too roughly. I couldn't breathe. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. My boobs bounced out. He looked at those with lust in his eyes and didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensetion. I grabbed his hair and tried to stop him by pulling it but it didn't even effect on him. "S-sensei!!!!!" I scremed but he didn't stop.

Then he took off my skirt and then took off my pantie. He looked at my pussy. He rubbed his finger on my clit and whispered " ahhhh.... again you are wet~". Then he licked my pussy. I couldn't help but moan loudly. He smirked at my reaction and undo his pant.

His dick sprang out. " S-sensei no no no... P-please no... s-stop I don't want this again!!!!" I begged "should have think that earlier" he said and slammed his whole dick inside me in one slide. I scremed. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thursting in and out roughly. I was throughig my legs with pain and begging him to stop. And he was liking it so much. His thurst became harder and harder. I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly " ughhhhhh....ahhh god... I don't know how many time I have to fuck you to make you loose up a single bit" he moaned and started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself. With a few more thurst I came. He was still thursting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I tried to push him away with all of my strength. He grabbed my throat and chocked me down to the bed. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out. My vision blurred out.

"Now I hope that would make you stop from meeting Megumi.... oh actually I fucked you enough hard to make you unable to walk for some days...so you really can't meet him now" He laughed and whispered in my ear.

@liciaforlife helped me for this 💖 love her so much 💕

Give me your requests guys...

I love when you give me your requests 💗💖

#jjk #smut #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #fem reader #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #jujutsu gojo #tw noncon #gojo noncon #dark content #female reader

53 notes · View notes

cherienymphe · 1 year

Text

Amnesiac VII (Rafe Cameron x Reader)

WARNINGS: DUB-CON (for so many reasons)/borderline NON-CON, eventual NON-CON, manipulation, memory loss, underage drinking, drug use, non canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts | divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: “There’s something wrong with your love story, baby…”

After a surfing accident leaves you with little to no memory of everything that happened before that day, you start to wonder if the blond in what little memories you do have is the same one who claims to be your boyfriend.

Rafe’s gaze was encouraging, blue eyes soft and smile small. The box before you was fairly big, and when you asked Rafe what was in it, he’d told you that it was a surprise. You felt nervous and confused, hesitantly reaching for it and pulling it closer. Your heart swelled at this gesture, thinking about how things had been weird between you two lately.

After the night where you’d gotten so drunk, you were much more reserved around Rafe, and he noticed. Part of you felt bad whenever you went to bed with your back turned towards the door or you woke up long before him, but you really didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, Rafe’s eagerness for his own girlfriend was understandable, but on the other… His aggression unnerved you. It reminded you of the Rafe from your memories, the version that was mean and careless with his words. Not the Rafe that was sitting before you.

Then there was the matter of The Wreck.

That shade of blond hair and that raspy voice was so familiar to you. It scratched an itch in your brain, mulling over the encounter days later. You weren’t stupid. At least, you liked to think that you weren’t, so it seemed logical to assume that that was JJ. The guy missing from all of your pictures. The guy who got underneath Rafe’s skin so bad that it had almost ruined your relationship again. The guy who you were apparently closer to than Rafe and even Sarah.

There were so many gaps in your memory, furthering your confusion once combined with what you were being told.

Swallowing a sigh, you opened the box, pausing at the pretty shade of yellow you were met with. You could feel Rafe’s gaze on you as you set the top aside, slowly reaching out to finger the chiffon material of the dress. It was simple, but not boring, strapless and long, and clearly made to move like water around you.

You opened and closed your mouth, at a loss for words before asking the occasion.

“Its for Midsummers.”

That term did ring a bell, and when you thought really hard, you had faint memories of nicely dressed people and extravagance and music.

“We always went together,” he told you. “Not as a couple. This year would be a first for that, but…”

Rafe moved closer, taking your hand.

“It’s always been a little tradition of ours,” he said, making you smile. “We’d make fun of whatever headpiece Rose decided to wear and sneak off with some drinks that definitely weren’t meant for us.”

Rafe chuckled, and you looked back down to the dress.

“Do you like it?” he finally asked.

“Yeah,” you honestly answered with a nod. “It’s really pretty.”

Rafe’s gaze was expectant when your eyes met his again, and you leaned over to kiss him. Rafe’s lips chased yours when you pulled away, and you chuckled to yourself when he kissed you again.

“I think I’m going to take it home,” you slowly told him, watching the slight frown form on his face.

“Home?”

You shrugged.

“My parents have been back for…what? A few weeks now? I know you said our relationship wasn’t the best, but I have to admit. I don’t like that they haven’t even reached out to me aside from the odd phone call or two.”

Rafe watched the way your face fell.

“I guess it’ll have to be on me to reconnect with them and familiarize myself with the house and parents I grew up with,” you said.

Rafe looked unsure, and you knew that he liked having you here with him and his family.

“Are you sure…?”

You nodded.

“I know what you said, but they are my parents, right? I want to know them. Now. Not when or if my memory ever returns,” you replied.

“I know, babe. I know. I just don’t want you to be disappointed,” he told you with a wry smile.

You didn’t have the heart to tell him you’d already been disappointed when they didn’t even come to see you when they returned. You also didn’t have the heart to tell him that you just needed a breather. From him, from this family, and from this house.

You needed to think.

“Okay, okay. Y/N…”

You perked up at the sound of your name, pulling your gaze away from a familiar blue one to look over. Pope was coughing after his hit, holding his hand up while Kie laughed, gearing up to ask you his scenario.

“Okay,” he breathed, passing the blunt to her just as fingers ghosted over your lower back. “Would you rather…have eyes for nipples…”

There was a chorus of groans around the fire, yours included.

“…or teeth for eyes?”

“What?” Kie barked a laugh, almost spilling her drink, and you cringed, not liking either option.

“I think I’d go with the eye nipples,” you heard Sarah seriously murmur, deep in thought about it.

“It’s an impossible situation,” a familiar voice said at your side.

Pope shushed everyone, waving his arms around.

“Y/N has to answer,” he reminded everyone, and all eyes were on you.

You blew out a breath, genuinely torn at the horrible situation Pope put you in.

“I think Sarah has the right idea,” you finally answered, and you were met with some protests. “It’s not like my nipples are always going to be on display like my eyes, and even…then…I can always just keep my bra on.”

You shrugged, and Pope seemed to be satisfied with that answer, nodding. It was your turn, now, and you looked to your right, eyes meeting familiar blue ones, a teasing smile on your face.

“JJ.”

His own smile grew, and he held your gaze as he took the blunt from Kie. The fire danced in his azure eyes, a familiar glint in his gaze that made your heart race. His messy blond hair curled behind his ears, a few strands kissing his forehead, and you were tempted to brush them away.

Then you remembered where you were and took a deep breath.

“Would you rather…”

He brought the blunt to his pink lips, refusing to break eye contact. When his lips parted, he swirled the smoke around in his mouth for a moment, holding it there before finally exhaling.

“…have two tongues or three eyes?”

“A third eye?”

“A third eye,” you confirmed with a nod.

JJ chuckled, teeth winking at you as he took another hit, handing it to you with a hum. His fingers brushed yours as he did, and your heart skipped a beat. He exhaled, smoke billowing around your face just as he quickly glanced towards your lips, his tongue darting out to swipe across his own.

“Imagine what I could do with two tongues,” he laughed, and everyone else made noises of disgust.

You looked away from him, nodding at his answer as you took a hit too. You heard him addressing John B., and in the darkness, no one noticed the way his hand trailed to your lower back again, tracing circles into the exposed skin. His fingers danced along your side, playfully dipping into your shorts before making their way up your back again.

After arguing against John B’s answer for a few minutes, he stood. You looked up at him, watching as he ran his hand through his hair, asking if anyone else wanted a beer. JJ was met with mixed answers, and your lips parted when he looked down at you. He softly said your name, and you shook your head to his nonverbal question.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, glancing around the circle.

When he walked past you, his legs brushed against your back, and you felt the faint ghosting of fingers at the nape of your neck.

Your expectations were low, but holy fuck.

Your adoptive parents looked like the perfect couple. She was all prim and proper with vibrant red hair, and a perfect smile. Perfectly manicured nails, a sparkling wedding ring, and the kind of dress that every other trophy mom around here wore. He looked kind enough, but you had decided against that as soon as he opened his mouth.

“You need to get more sleep.”

Those were the first words out of his mouth as soon as he opened the door, answering your knock. No ‘hello’, ‘how are you’, or ‘we’re so relieved’. A critique was the first introduction you got to your parents as they ushered you inside.

“Ward told us that the doctor has given you some medication for your head,” your mother said as she poured you some water. “I hope you’ve been keeping up with it. Your accident was no minor thing.”

The words seemed caring enough, but they were empty. Robotic. If you didn’t know any better, and you probably didn’t, you’d say she was less worried about your wellbeing and more worried about how your wellbeing made them look.

“Uh. Yeah, I have.”

You thought on that with a frown. Her words didn’t align with her actions. After all, they had been back from their cruise for literal weeks, and this was the first time that you were face to face. You had hoped that their faces would bring forth some more memories, maybe even happier ones than what you’d been prepared for, but there was no such luck.

With them back, the interior of the house made so much sense. They fit perfectly within it, exuding wealth and cocktail parties and the very trust fund that Rafe had thrown in your face. It looked too perfect, like the couch was literally repelling anyone who dared to think about sitting on it. You could see why you had spent so much time at the Camerons growing up.

“I assume there’s a dress in that box? I recognize that brand,” she said, gesturing to the dress Rafe had bought you.

He’d offered to carry it inside for you when he dropped you off, but you had protested. You could tell that Rafe wanted to argue, but with one last unreadable glance towards your house, he relented. You looked at the box with a tight smile, and a nod.

“Yeah. It’s for-.”

“Midsummers,” she finished. “I know you don’t remember, but you and Rafe always did go together.”

“Rafe told me.”

She chuckled to herself, turning around to get out some ingredients. Your father had mentioned something earlier about his favorite dish before disappearing upstairs. You found yourself so interested in their dynamic.

“Of course, now, it’s different,” she said with a satisfied smile thrown over her shoulder. “Rose tells me that you two are finally together.”

Gossiping mothers shouldn’t have surprised you, and you didn’t know how to respond, so you simply nodded. Your mother hummed to herself.

“That boy has held a torch for you for as long as I can remember,” she said more to herself than you. “I’m glad to see that you’re finally with your own, leaving that God awful phase behind.”

Her words made you frown, and at your silence, she continued.

“He comes from such a good family. He’s well brought up, and it’s so important to surround yourself with the right people, you know…”

This conversation was steering into a lane that you didn’t like, and your frown deepened.

“Not sure I follow,” you told her, playing dumb.

You watched as she shook her head, turning to get something out of the fridge.

“I know you don’t remember, and I guess it’s a blessing in disguise that you don’t. I sure wish I could forget some of my more regrettable flings,” she commented. “Rafe is so much better than the last one.”

Your gaze was intently fixed on her, now, and she threw you a comforting smile. You opened and closed your mouth, unsure of what to say. Was she saying what you thought she was saying? Had Rafe been right? Had that drunken rant been more than just the jealous ramblings of an intoxicated man?

“The last one…?”

“That one from The Cut.”

Her words made your heart drop, and your skin started to warm up the more she said.

“Always getting into trouble, a lot like his father from what I’ve heard and-.”

“Are you talking about JJ?”

She tasted the food, nodding with a hum as she pointed at you.

“That one, yes.”

Your mind was going a mile a minute, and while some things made more sense, others only became more jumbled. That memory from last night came back to you. Your secretive smiles, the heat in your stomach with just one look from him, and the discreet brushes of skin.

“I…told you…?”

You found that hard to believe, and your mother laughed. Really laughed.

“Of course not,” she said with a shake of her head. “Despite what your father and I thought, you still brought him around. You insisted that he was just a friend.”

Her eyes finally met yours at that, and her smile lacked humor. The disapproval was clear as day in her eyes.

“…but I am a mother. I saw the way you two looked at each other, heard him sneaking into your room at all hours of the night…”

Your eyes widened at that.

“I was young once. I knew… I looked the other way, and hoped it was just a phase. Some doomed desire to tame a troubled guy.”

Her laugh was mocking, condescending, and you pressed your lips together. She reached along the counter and patted your hand like you were a child.

“…but we must all learn, hmm?”

She turned her back to you again, and you clenched your jaw. Silence stretched between you, and swallowing down a sigh, you removed yourself from the kitchen. Your legs were shaky as you climbed the stairs, feeling lightheaded all of a sudden, and you didn’t know what to think anymore.

So, Rafe hadn’t just been jealous…he’d been right. You had been with JJ, or at the very least, sleeping with him. The only problem was that you didn’t know if you’d been with Rafe at the same time. It would certainly explain Rafe’s anger, his protectiveness of your relationship, and a feeling washed over you that you didn’t like.

Could you really do that to Rafe?

Or maybe you hadn’t done anything wrong, at all, and you were getting ahead of yourself. Nothing was making any sense, and you could feel your frustration growing, head pounding and heart racing as you sat on your bed. You let your head fall into your hands, desperately trying to will all of your memories to come back to you.

You needed things to make sense.

With a huff, you hurried to find something to sleep in. Your mother’s words, what she’d revealed to you, haunted you. You couldn’t get in your shower fast enough, the warm water doing what you’d hoped and easing some of the tension in your body. Not quite ready to rejoin the real world, you took the time to wash your hair, detangling it and washing it twice.

It helped with your nerves.

When you got out, the towel was tight around you. The cool air met your skin, and you shuddered. You thought you heard a slight noise in your room, and when you opened your door, you found that you were right. You jumped at the sight of Rafe sitting on your bed, pressing your hand to your chest.

He smiled at you, and you struggled to return it.

“Your mom let me in,” he explained, blue gaze dragging over you, lingering on your exposed skin.

You thought about what she had said, about you sneaking JJ in, and your eyes drifted to the closed window.

“Oh,” was all you said.

“Are you happy they’re back?” he wondered, watching you reach for your clothes.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” you sighed, and Rafe pressed his lips together at that. “They are exactly what you said they were.”

Rafe reached for your hand, slowly pulling you closer and pressing his lips to your palm. He gazed up at you from beneath his lashes.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you said with a shrug. “It’s not your fault.”

You were desperate to change the subject.

“Why are you here?”

Rafe snorted at that, frowning up at you with narrowed eyes.

“I can’t come and see my girlfriend? Make sure she settled in okay?”

You swallowed at that.

“I mean, this would’ve been the first night in months that we slept in separate houses. Never mind, separate rooms…”

You tilted your head at that, his word choice standing out to you. Rafe noticed, sighing to himself as he looked down, playing with your fingers.

“My dad and I… Well, you know how it goes between us,” he finally told you.

Your face fell, heart falling too.

“Rafe…”

He looked up at you, eyes troubled.

“I just had to get out of that house, needed to see you.”

He pressed his forehead to your stomach, and you ran your hand through his hair. His hand met your waist through the towel, and he pulled you down to sit next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Rafe studied your face for a while, running his eyes over you and drinking you in. His curved into a small reassuring smile.

“Nah,” he whispered, reaching for you.

His hand was on the back of your neck, and before you knew it, he was pulling you into a kiss. You kissed him back, both wanting to comfort him and distract yourself. You wanted to ask him so bad what had really happened, wanted clarification on the sequence of events, but a part of you was afraid to. What if Rafe confirmed your fears? What if you had been a terrible girlfriend? What if you had cheated on him with JJ?

You didn’t think you could make him look you in the eye and relive that.

On the other hand though, what if that wasn’t the case? What if you’d simply been with JJ before Rafe? What if it was just a simple case of Rafe feeling like he’d lost the most important person to him? Or genuinely trying to look out for you? You thought about that memory with the necklace, where you’d been so mad at Rafe, and it was easy to surmise that Rafe had feelings for you then, and you clearly didn’t reciprocate…or at least didn’t want to.

It was too much to theorize over, and you decided to put yourself out of your misery and just ask Rafe when he pulled you closer, practically on top of him. You made a slight noise of protest against his lips, gasping when one of his hands cupped you through your towel, fingers grazing your ass. You pressed your hand against his chest, turning your head away.

“Rafe,” you harshly whispered, glancing towards your door as he kissed down your throat.

He groaned against your skin, hand pushing the towel up.

“I need you,” he murmured, and you felt your skin grow cold.

You were torn between sympathizing with him and wanting him to leave. He rolled you both, roles reversed as he made himself comfortable on top of you. You could feel yourself panicking, and you wracked your brain.

“Rafe…Rafe, stop, my parents…are right down the hall,” you panted, attempting to make eye contact with him.

His dirty blond hair hung into his face, and a smirk danced along his lips as he brought his hand up to brush over your mouth.

“I guess we’ll have to be quiet then,” he breathlessly chuckled.

You swallowed at his decisive tone, frowning at him.

“Rafe…come on,” you weakly pleaded.

“I thought you trusted me,” he said.

“I do,” you hurried to reassure him.

“Okay…so, trust me,” he slowly whispered.

You called his name again, and Rafe swallowed the sound with a kiss. It’s like he was trying to inhale you, and you struggled to breathe, pushing against his chest both for a reprieve and to try and talk to him. Rafe was a man with tunnel vision though, his strength alarming you as he pinned your body beneath his.

With his own legs, he spread yours apart, and you shuddered when the cool air hit you. Rafe’s hand slid in between your bodies, parting the towel as he went, and you bucked against him when he dipped his fingers into you. He hummed at the feel of your tight walls clinging to his fingers, and he wasted no time before moving them, pushing them into you to the hilt before pulling them back out.

His other hand slid around your neck, circling it and holding you in place as he sat up. He lowered his head, gaze focused on where his fingers disappeared into you, tongue darting out to touch his lips. Your fingers dug into his hand, fighting to bite your tongue while also trying to get him to talk to you.

“Rafe…”

He shushed you, staring at the movements of his hand before straightening and kissing you again. In the quiet room, you both could hear how wet you were, the squelch of his fingers as he plunged them into you again and again. He stroked the fire in your gut, nipping at your lips and then your jaw. He ravenously thrust them into you, thighs growing sticky from your own arousal, and your eyes rolled when Rafe rolled his wrist, swirling his fingers around your walls.

You heard him curse, hand tightening on your throat, and you could feel yourself starting to shake. You were close, and Rafe noticed, letting go of your neck to shove his fingers into your mouth. You whimpered, stomach tightening and tightening until you came around his fingers, your moans muffled by the fingers in your mouth.

“Fuck,” Rafe breathed, watching the mess you were making.

You didn’t even noticed when he’d let you go, pulling his fingers out of you too. You were too focused on catching your breath, trying to get your head to stop spinning when you heard fabric fluttering to the floor. When you glanced up, Rafe was nearing you, just as naked as you were, and you hurriedly sat up.

Whatever protest you had was hushed, his fingers meeting your lips as he pushed you back.

“Rafe,” you hissed for more reasons than one.

“Relax,” he drawled. “It’ll be fine, just keep it down.”

“Rafe-!”

You were cut off by his hand at your throat, and his lips were at your ear as he held you down.

“Relax,” he quietly repeated, his other hand fumbling between you. “I know you’re nervous…and scared…but it’ll be okay.”

“I-.”

“You know I’ll take care of you,” he promised, pressing a kiss to your cheek just as you felt the tip of him poking at you.

He wet the head of his cock with your arousal, coating himself in it and stroking himself. He kissed along your neck, humming to himself and ignoring the feel of your hands pressing against his arms. When he started to push his way into you, you tensed, breath hitching as you squeezed him. The moan that Rafe let out was low enough so only you could hear, and your lips parted when he bottomed out.

Rafe’s arms shook, forearms pressing into the bed now as he held himself above you. His chest was heaving, and the same shallow pants leaving you also climbed out of his throat. He held himself still, eyes falling closed and basking in the feel of his cock fitting snugly inside of you.

“You feel so good,” he murmured, lips grazing your cheek as he leaned in. “You know that?”

You involuntarily lifted your hips, and you gasped the same time Rafe hissed. His breathing evened out, and he placed a few kisses on your neck, sighing to himself just as he reached down and dug his hand into your hip.

“Hold onto me,” he instructed. “Hold onto me.”

Feeling like you had no choice, you did, pressing your hands into his back just as he pulled his hips back. You gasped again when he thrust into you, his pace slow and torturous at first. Your bed lightly shook beneath you, and Rafe’s breath mingled with your own as he kissed you again. You had no choice but to take his thrusts, walls clinging to him with every movement.

Rafe kept a hand on you at all times, holding you to him while he fucked you. With your parents down the hall, it was hard to keep quiet, taking advantage of every kiss as you mewled and moaned into his mouth. Rafe swallowed them all, groaning against your lips and slamming his hips against yours. At some point, his pace became brutal, his cock repeatedly hitting a part of you that had you squirming.

You reached down to press your hand against his lower stomach, trying to get some reprieve from the mind-spinning thrusts. Rafe slapped your hand away, immediately grabbing it and pinning it by your head. His hold on your wrist was tight, and you squeezed your eyes shut, fighting to quietly navigate the pleasure he was giving you.

“You’re okay, baby,” he whispered from above you. “You can take it.”

You threw your head back, nails digging into the palm of your own hand. Rafe was in his own hand, focused on the feel of you tight and dripping around him, choking his cock and stroking him better than his hand ever could.

When his hand slipped under your thigh, bending your leg and pressing your knee to your chest, your free hand pulled and tore at your sheets. Your chest arched into his, and you couldn’t swallow down the choked gasp that escaped when he let your hand go to do the same to the other. Rafe towered over you as he thrust into you, looking down at his cock pushing into you, stretching you and dipping into you from a new angle.

“Rafe…I can’t…”

He seemed to understand your lack of explanation, and your eyes watered. Your nails scraped your bedding, and he leaned over, making you gasp just as he covered your mouth with his hand. It muffled your whimpers, and he placed one of your legs over his shoulder. He grinded his hips into yours, and your eyes rolled, struggling to catch your breath.

You could feel that familiar coil tightening deep in your stomach, toes curling as your climax started to creep up on you. Rafe felt it too, chuckling to himself at the feel of your walls tightening. He moved your other leg onto his other shoulder, and Rafe’s fingers dug into the bed on either side of your head. Stars were starting to appear in your vision, and you turned your head to the side, biting your tongue so hard you tasted blood as you came.

Rafe cursed at the feel and at the sight, praises coming from his lips as he continued to fuck you.

“Good girl,” he murmured.

When you came down from your high, you were gasping for breath, struggling to push against Rafe’s arms. He suddenly pulled back, your legs still thrown over his shoulders as he dug his hands into your hips. He pulled you to the edge of the bed as he stood, and he turned his head to kiss your ankle.

“I’m going to fucking ruin you,” he growled, nipping at your skin.

Your head lolled, and the look in Rafe’s eyes told you that he was going to make good on his promise.

When you woke up the next morning, it took you way too long to even remember where you were. Your whole body ached, and when you turned over, coming face to face with Rafe, you remembered why. He was fast asleep, and you stared at him for a long time, just drinking him in and thinking over the previous night. You sat up with a wince, eyes falling to the floor and landing on the clothes you’d intended to put on last night.

You struggled to do just that, limbs protesting with every movement. Rafe didn’t stir as you slowly moved to the window, looking outside into the yard with a grimace. Your neck felt like it was on fire, and you didn’t need to look into the mirror to see what it looked like. You reached up, brushing your fingers over your skin and wincing.

You didn’t feel like stepping out and facing your parents, completely put off by them. So, seemingly alone in your childhood room, you made your way to your closet. Rafe, exhausted and knocked out from sex, hardly counted. You eyed the clothes left in there and the boxes on the top shelf. A book that you assumed you’d read caught your eye, and you reached to grab it. It wobbled, falling past your hand and hitting the floor.

Rafe’s breathing was still even when you turned around, and your eyes fell to the book by your bed. Bending down, you reached for it, about to stand up when something caught your eye. The smallest box was hidden behind a few pairs of shoes, and you frowned at it. You checked to make sure that Rafe was still asleep before reaching under your bed and moving your shoes out of the way.

You struggled to crawl back, wincing again as you sat down, shoulder leaning against your bedframe. The fact that it was hidden, seemingly by you, piqued your interest more than anything. Your heart skipped a beat as you looked it over, and deep in your mind, you recognized it…only you didn’t know what for.

When you opened it, gaze falling to the contents inside, your mouth fell open.

It softly fell out of your hands, the polaroid pictures falling all over your lap and the floor. There were dozens of them, no doubt taken with the light blue polaroid camera on your dresser. You stared at them, pain flaring in your temple, and you shakily reached out to them. Your eyes were wide as you flipped through them all, each one shocking you more than the last.

Every single one featured the same two people.

You…and JJ.

It was the same face from your memory. The same smile, the same eyes, and his hair the same shade of blond that you’d seen at The Wreck that day. The longer you stared at the pictures, able to really study him now that he was before you, your breath hitched as you realized where you’d seen that exact shade of blond.

It was the same hair from that intimate memory in your bedroom. The shade of blond that you had thought belonged to Rafe. The same shade of blond that had been walking away from you the day of your accident, anger and sadness and regret pouring through you the further away he got.

You brought each picture closer, throat incredibly tight as you studied them. In some you were sitting on his lap, a wide smile on his face as you kissed his cheek. In one, you two were laying down together, heads touching as you pointed the camera towards you. One picture in particular grabbed your attention for several reasons, and you dropped all the others.

JJ had you in his arms as he sat on an unfamiliar couch, sticking his tongue out as you gave the camera the finger. However, you were more focused on the three rings on his hand, three rings that you recalled from a memory that you thought was Rafe. Your eyes watered, breath shaky as you stared at the same picture, gaze zeroing in on a familiar black necklace around his neck, a shark tooth hanging from it.

#rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron x reader #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!rafe cameron #obx fic #outer banks #drew starkey fanfiction

796 notes · View notes

sanzusslutt · 1 year

Note

How about Mikey draken chifuyu and whoever else you like, kissing you for the first time? <3

aww I love this idea <3

Kissing you for the first time♡︎

Pairing: Manjirou (Mikey) Sano, Ken (Draken) Ryuguji, Chifuyu Matsuno x Y/N.

warnings: none :P

fluff ♡︎

Manjirou (Mikey) Sano

Mikey has been avoiding you for the past few weeks but he is now right before you, at the door of your apartment, instantly reddening at the sight of you in your pink short pajamas. "Manjirou? is something wrong?" you asked, opening the door more so he could come inside. "I just wanted to see you..." He came closer, putting his hands on your waist and resting his forehead on your shoulder, trying to hide his blushing red face. "I'm sorry for ignoring you.. it's just that.. you are always so kind and so beautiful" He raised his head, dark eyes looking straight at yours, making you melt and the compliment causing your cheeks to get a bright pink. "I can't resist anymore.." Your faces were so close you could feel his hot breath on your lips. He decided he couldn't wait anymore, nor he could ignore his feelings towards you. He closed the distance between your faces, meeting your soft lips with his. Butterflys started flying in your stomach as you kissed him back and circled your hands on his neck. This felt like a dream. you had the crush on Mikey but he was too blinded to see. he broke the kiss, looking right into your eyes. "God, I love you.." he admitted with a smile. "I'm so fucking glad I hear that".

Ken (Draken) Ryuguji

It was night, almost midnight when the doorbell rang on your apartment. Opening the door you saw draken leaned on your doorframe with his hands crossed. "Ken?" you called. "It's me, princess. May I come in? I kinda need your help.." he asked, voice breaking as he speaks. Once was inside and you locked the door again, you turned and saw the man covered in bruises and an disturbing amount of blood. "What happenend?! Are you okay?!" you panicked. "don't worry, princess I'm alright. I got into a fight and I can't put the iodine on the wounds on my face. little help?" You sighted at his request but you couldn't let him bleed like that. When you took the first aid kit, you made your way to sit on the couch beside him but he patted his hand on his thigh, telling you to sit on his leg cause it would be more comfortable. You made yourself comfortable on the man's lap as he raised his head to give you more access to his wounded face. He rested his big hands on your waist as you felt your cheeks getting hotter. You went closer to see more clearly the wound on his face when the grasp he had on your waist got tighter and his soft lips met yours for a passionate kiss. your body grew hotter and you felt a familiar burning sense on your stomach at the kiss as you putted your hands at each side of his face and you felt his hands lower their motions and grabbing your ass. He broke the kiss as he whispered "I waited for this for so fucking long. damn." you giggled at the statement and continued the make out session he begun...

this came out longer than expected

Chifuyu Matsuno

You were in a relationship with Matsuno for about two weeks now. But Chifu being the gentleman he is, he told you to make the first move whenever you wanted and felt sure. that being said, you had planed a date on the fireworks night with him to spend some alone time since with the gang staff and your studies you haven't seen him much. he was laid on the grass with his head on your lap, as you played with his hair he admired the beautiful sky and your mesmerizing face. When the fireworks started you felt that it was finally the right time to take your relationship one step further. You placed your hands on his chin, making him slightly raise his head as you slowly closed the gap between your and his lips. it took Chifu by surprise but I didn't take long for him to act and kiss you back with the same passion and affection as you did. his hands found place on your face as he got up and sitted on his knees. You took it as an opportunity to sit on his lap and straddle him a little more. his cheeks became a deep shade of pink at your action as you rested your hands on his neck. You broke the kiss and stared at his pretty light blue eyes as broke the silence. "thank goodness, it was so hard to resist kissing you.." you chuckled at his comment and rested your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his hands around you, trapping you in his arms.

250 notes · View notes

vayshkarell · 3 months

Text

How I Made my V2 Cosplay

Oh boy! This right here is about how I make my cosplay head of V2. Some of the stages don't have photos, but i'll do my best to explain what I did. I also have no WIPs of the gloves, but those were super straight forward. Some photos are very low quality due to my phone having a damaged camera at the time, and other photos were taken from my instagram story as they're the only photos I have from that stage. Please note that this is not a tutorial! This is more of a story of a disastrous (but ultimately successful) project done by someone with no idea what they were doing. Please find actual tutorials by more experienced people!

The Modeling Base

This right hear is a big chunk of upholstery foam! I own a ton of this stuff, so i decided the best way to start this was a foam blank. Well, this was a bad idea in retrospect, but hey it technically worked. Kinda. I started by drawing the basic shape, then cutting out thick sheets. From there, I glued them together and began shaping with scissors to get the desired shape. Honestly a 3D modeled blank may have been better, or a base made of foam board pieces used instead. Live and learn I suppose.

After I got the shape to something i was happy with, I began the transition to EVA foam. To do this, I mummified the thing in duct tape and marked seam lines in sharpie. I then cut out these duct tape pieces, and stuck them to paper to act as a backing.

Foam Shell Construction

Once I had a pattern, I began making the actual head. To do this, I traced the pattern onto sheets of EVA foam (I believe 4mm or 6mm) and cut them out. Lots of these pieces needed bevels, some of which i had to dremel as shown below due to them not cutting correctly. Bevels are important as they make the foam crease as desired for angular shapes. I'm still pretty amateur with it though, and frequently got bevels wrong.

As I cut pieces, I began gluing them together with an awful gunk called contact cement. This stuff is a special glue that you let dry before sticking the pieces together, and it pretty cool. Unfortunately it's flammable and a carcinogen. As stated before, I'm pretty new to armor, so lots of the seams have weird gaps I had to fix farther down the line. After quite awhile, I had the basic shell assembled. However, the shell had numerous gaps and pieces that didn't fit correctly. Enter the foam clay.

Foam clay is a substance similar to model magic, and was honestly a life saver here. This thing has a second shell basically made of the stuff. I had to fill gaps primarily around the eye socket, but the entire thing honestly barely fit together.

After some filling and sanding, I made a test optic. And the head looked preeeety bad. There was something just incredibly off about it. This began the massive amounts of revising and reshaping I had to do. And fixing of awful symmetry. The head required a massive amount of sanding around the sides of the face and the chin. Between initial construction and when I began painting, I completely reshaped these areas. I made the chin significantly smaller, and added the indents or whatever (fins?) on the side of the head. However, doing all of this required me to fill in chunks of the interior with large wads of foam clay. If I hadn't done so, then I would've sanded through it in places. I also made the awful decision to gap fill with hot glue. If you've not dremeled hot glue, I don't recommend trying it. It melts the glue and sends globs of it flying, and those things are hot and really hurt.

After even more sanding, gap filling, and re-sanding, I finally got the shape to something i was happy with. Unfortunately I don't have any photos from just before painting.

Priming and Painting

The next step was for me to slather this thing in primer so it could be painted. I use Plastidip, as a tutorial i saw years ago said it was the best primer. Why does it need primed? I'm not actually entirely sure, but it's what I've heard needs done, so that's what I do.

Plastidip is a spray, so I of course did this outside. After a ton of coats, I was left with a shiny surface ready for the paint. Not much to say on primer.

Due to not currently having a functional airbrush, V2 is entirely hand painted. I coated this guy in red paint, and i mean coated the entire thing. Even areas I'd later paint black. Quick tip: Don't do that. It's a waste of paint. But i did it anyway cause I'm a dumbass. I also had issues when doing the black with getting it to stick, and when removing tape it caused some paint to peal off too. I originally had painted a barcode on the side of the head, but removing the tape took the black paint off too. Sooooo no bar code.

Once I got the shell painted, I did the optic. The test optic I used was marker on unicorn buckram, but that stuff is really hard to see through, the markers looked bad, and I couldn't pain it without clogging the mesh (due to not having an airbrush and having to do it by hand.) So, I got different mesh: a larger weave black mesh. This stuff I was actually able to hand paint, thus how I got the iris I did.

The Gloves

The gloves were, frankly, rushed. I bought a pair of cheap black costume gloves online, and then glued foam to em. For the gloves, I just used paper patterns to make the foam pieces. No fancy patterning here, just drawing shapes. After cutting the foam, I hot glued it, and then painted them. No priming on these, cause I was lazy and had a con coming up.

Conclusion

So that's about it! Thank you for reading this monster of a post! I'm hoping to eventually do a V1 head, so I'll be repatterning the V unit head soon. When I do, I'll probably make an actual tutorial. I dunno. We'll see.

#ultrakill #ultrakill v2 #ultrakill cosplay #cosplay #robot cosplay

46 notes · View notes

joekeeryswife · 2 years

Text

Out of love - E.M

hey loves, how is everyone?? okay so, i’m in a sad mood so i’ve done some angst for you guys because why not 😍 also, why does tumblr put such big gaps between my paragraphs💀 anyways, enjoy tehe <3

you and Eddie had been together for just over a year. during that time he'd been nothing but a loving and caring boyfriend and you would never change a thing about him. everyone at school would call him the freak which got on your nerves because he most definitely, to you, was not one. you were a cheerleader, the queen of Hawkins High and everyone was shocked when you walked into school hand-in-hand with him last year. yeah people looked at you differently but you didn't really care, he was your main focus and that's all that mattered. you had thought that your relationship was the most perfect thing ever, till it wasn't.

it was a Friday night and you were on the phone with your best friend Chrissy. she had been nothing but a supportive friend when you made the decision to tell Eddie your feelings and you were grateful she wasn't like the other girls on the cheer team who practically disowned you. "you nervous for the game? i am. that solo is terrifying me" you said, twirling the cord around your finger as you spoke. "you'll be fine" she said quite abruptly. you'd noticed these past few weeks she had been very rude and distant, like you'd done something wrong. your eyes widened slightly as she spoke, she's never been like this.

"everything okay?" you asked, hoping she'd finally tell you what was wrong with her. " 'm fine. i have to go bye" and with that, she ended the call, not giving you a chance to say goodbye. she'd been weird. so weird that even Amanda, another friend of yours had noticed it. you put the phone back on the hook and stood there, only wanting to see Eddie and tell him how you were feeling. Chrissy had never been like this and Eddie was one of the few people you could talk to.

usually on a Friday you would be and Eddie's house watching a horror movie. it would be every Friday, you'd be cuddled up on the sofa, you absolutely terrified of the film whilst Eddie laughed at you, always saying 'he'd protect you no matter what' which always gave you some sort of comfort. however today, you hadn't seen Eddie to talk about what you were going to do and if you were coming round to see him.

you decided after being bored out of your mind to go see him. you loved surprising him and so did he. his face would always light up as soon as he saw you in his trailer and would rush to bring you in a hug. you walked to the front door, slipping on your shoes and walked out the door. you called out to your mum that you were going to see Eddie and with that you closed the front door and picked up your bike.

you didn't have a car yet as you were scared to get your license so you'd either bike to Eddie's trailer or beg him to pick you up in his van. Eddie, luckily, didn't live to far away from you, it was about a ten minute bike ride from your house. the whole bike journey there you kept thinking of how Chrissy had been acting around you and how much you missed Eddie. you couldn't wait to just vent to him and he'd just be there, comforting you. you were in desperate need for one of his hugs. his hugs were one of your favourite things about him. his hugs always were filled with love and warmth and just made you feel so much better.

when you finally arrived to Eddie's trailer, you saw his van was parked outside meaning he was definitely home. you parked your bike outside and opened the door, seeing no Eddie sat on the sofa, you didn't see him in the kitchen either. this was just weird. you walked to his bedroom and saw the bedroom door was closed. it was hardly ever closed, only when Wayne was home. your heart dropped as you heard moans coming from inside the bedroom that most deformity were not coming from him.

you closed your eyes, hoping you'd been imagining whatever you had been hearing and then opened them again. you put your hand on the door knob and opened the door. there he was, in bed with Chrissy. you gasped, making both their heads turned toward you, Chrissy's eyes widened and Eddie had a guilty look on his face. you opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. you'd never felt heartbreak like it. your best friend and boyfriend were in bed together. your eyes filled with tears as you looked at the scene in front of you.

"y/n, sweetheart, this isn't what it looks like" Eddie said, sliding off Chrissy and slipping on his boxers that had been discarded on his bedroom floor. "is this why you've been avoiding me Chrissy? so you could fuck my boyfriend?" she looked down at the bedsheet before opening her mouth to talk. "you know what, i don't wanna hear it actually. i'm so glad you guys found each other" you said, turning around, letting your tears cascading down your cheeks.

both of them, the two people you trusted the most, betraying you. Eddie quickly got dressed, slipping on his shoes as he chased you out of the trailer. you left your bike outside, not wanting to be there any longer. you walked as quickly as you could, wrapping your arms around yourself as you silently sobbed, the thought of those two together filling your mind. "y/n, baby please wait" you heard, you knew it was Eddie. you felt his hand grab your arm, spinning you around to face him.

"y/n. you have to listen to me, it's not what it looked like" he said, putting his hands on your cheeks, wiping your tears. you pushed him away, ignoring the hurt look on his face once you did that. "what was it then Eddie? your dick just accidentally made its way into her vagina? wow thanks for enlightening me. you're an arsehole, leave me alone" you said, turning around to walk back home. this time Eddie ran to get in front of you, blocking you from walking down the path.

he spoke up, grabbing ahold of your hand "baby please-" "don't call me that. how could you do that to me huh? did this year mean nothing to you? do you know what it was like for me to even date you in the first place? i'd hear people i don't even know talk about me, 'oh, the queen of Hawkins High dating the freak, that's so weird, why is she dating him, she could do so much better, isn't he a cult leader? maybe she's a cult leader too, maybe she's a satanic worshiper. she's just as much of a freak as he is.'" you said, quoting what people would say about you in the hallways as you walked to your locker.

"but i didn't care because those people didn't know me, they didn't know us and i thought for once maybe someone actually genuinely liked me for me. i'd never listen to those shitty comments because i never saw you as a freak or a cult leader or any of those horrible things people would say about you because you were my Eddie. my sweet Eddie who was loving and caring and didn't sleep with my best friend behind my back" you sobbed, seeing his eyes fill with guilt and shame.

"i wanted us to be forever" you whispered, feeling his hand come up to your cheek again, stroking it gingerly. "we still can be y/n. we can just pretend like it never happened and we can go back to how we were before we did that-" he said tears falling from his eyes as he spoke, hoping you'd agree and be with him but you didn't. you shook your head as more tears fell down your face. "how long have you been fucking her Eddie" you whispered cutting off his sentence, pain filling your body as you spoke. "two weeks" he said looking down at the floor, your breathing stuttered, heart dropping to the floor as he said that. two whole weeks and you didn’t even realise. how could you be so stupid?

"i never want to see you again. don't call me, don't stop by my house, don't come into Family Video when i'm working just leave me alone. i hope she was worth it Eddie because i'll never forgive you for what you've done." you sobbed, pushing him out of the way as you starting walking home again, ignoring his eyes burning into the back of your head. "i love you y/n" he shouted out to you but you ignored him. you knew if you turned back around you'd forgive him and love him again but you couldn't do that. you deserved so much better than do be cheated on.

Eddie let his hands run through his hair as he watched you walk away, guilt eating him alive. he's hurt you and he hated himself for it. how could he do that to such a beautiful and kind girl like you? he sniffled and wiped his tears, turning around to walk back to his trailer, seeing Chrissy standing in the doorway. "i need you to leave" he said, brushing past her as he walked into his trailer to sit on the couch, feeling more and more guilty by the minute. "what? leave? how will i get home?" Chrissy asked, confusion laced in her tone.

"i don't care, i don't wanna speak to you, i don't wanna be near you just leave" he said, growing angry. "Eddie you can't be mad at me" she said, standing in front of him. "yes i can Chrissy. you've ruined my relationship" he shouted, making her startle and take a step back. she wasn't having this. "i think you're forgetting Eddie that i wasn't the only one who ruined it, you did as well. i may have instigated it but you didn't have to follow through. keep believing your own lies asshole" she said, walking out the trailer and slamming the door shut. he sat there astonished. she was right. he could have said no and you'd be there with him in his arms as you watched horror movies but no, he was sat on the sofa alone, drowning in his own guilt.

427 notes · View notes

rxgirlie · 5 months

Text

The Girl Next Door part IX

Pairing: Jeryd Mencken x OFC

Warnings: dubious content, affairs, age gap, morality issues, mentions of vomiting, mentions of pregnancy, my improper use of commas. MDNI!

A/N: Alright, this is the big one. There’s one chapter after this and then the epilogue. Can anyone guess where this is going? To everyone who has read this and commented, my lovely betas who listen to my neurotic rants, and everyone else in between, thanks for all the love. I never would’ve guessed this little piece of shit would garner so much attention but here we are. You all get one (1) kiss on the forehead.

WC: 2725

Call it women’s intuition, clairvoyance, unchecked paranoia, I knew the moment I saw the other vehicle in his driveway that she was home. I felt it deep within my gut, unsettled like the battering sea, churning away to the point that there was no ignoring it. Willful ignorance was the only thing keeping me afloat in those days.

Something came up. Let’s rain check our run.

“Rain check your run,” I mumbled to myself as I read his text, sliding into my trainers as I made my way to the front door.

A series of events quickly set into motion as I latched the door behind me, completely out of my control, blurring the lines between he and I even more than they had been blurred previously.

Jackson came barreling towards me out of nowhere, nipping and licking at my fingertips once he finally skidded to a stop at my shins, coaxing my hand to scratch between his ears.

“Where did you come from?” I cooed to him, patting his side as he leaned into me.

“Jackson!” I expected Jill to come tottering around the corner, but the smile on my face quickly faded when I saw her poking her head over the picket fence that separated our properties.

“I am so sorry!” She whistled at Jackson, pointing her finger back at the yard he had escaped from, “He doesn’t listen to me.”

“I’ve got him,” I led Jackson carefully over to the yard as she unclasped the gate and let him back inside.

“Thank you,” she smiled at me, “He doesn’t like me, I don’t think.”

Jeryd came walking out on the porch, leaning against a column casually, drying his hands with a dish towel, his sleeves rolled up to his forearms. He watched the scene unfold, his eyes darting between his wife and I.

“I’m Hannah,” she said, offering her hand out to me.

“Liv,” I noticed her hands were soft and small as we exchanged a clipped handshake. Her eyes were kind, everything about her screaming out the picturesque vision of domesticity that I would never be able to achieve. Imagining her on her knees in a head shop bathroom in Provincetown was like imagining myself being the First Lady; so very wrong and out of place. She and I would fill our respective roles in a man’s life that had no regard for either of our feelings at the end of the day. A man so unsatiated that he would have his cake and demand he be able to eat it. That’s the only thing Hannah Mencken and I would ever have in common.

She bobbed her head at me, “Law school Liv. The previous owners gave us a run down.”

“Right.”

“Well, it’s nice to be able to put a name with a face.” She assessed me, walking back to the porch to take her place beside Jeryd as her eyes roamed across my face and down my figure.

I smiled up at them, nodding as I turned the other way, running as fast I could before the tears inevitably came falling down.

_________________________________________

He started out by flaking. On my first day back at the university later that week, he called in sick. I only found out when I walked in and was greeted by a substitute. My texts went unanswered, and each call was forwarded to his voicemail. Any headway we made in Hyannis was quickly replaced with regret and remorse.

I cried the entire way home that evening, breaking the vow I had made to him a few days prior in Hyannis.

When he attempted to talk to me from his vantage point on his front porch once I arrived home and mustered enough strength to get out of my car, I fully ignored him.

When I walked into his classroom the next day, he looked at me as if to say ‘I know, I know’ but I was quick to shut down his attempt to rectify the situation.

I quite simply didn’t want to hear him speak.

That didn’t last long. When he slid his hand into my slacks, opening me up with deft fingers against his desk, I felt all the tension leave my body.

“There’s my girl,” he cooed as I came around his fingers, looking over my shoulder with a sly smile as if I died and came back to life under his ministrations.

At one point, I reasoned with myself that I couldn’t possibly be in love with him, chalking up my moments of weakness to the different ways he found to get me off. And boy, did he find new ways to get me off once the stakes were higher and his wife was home. Like he knew I would eventually tire of the secrecy and lies if he didn’t make it worth my while.

“You get wetter now that she’s back,” He whispered against the nape of my neck as he angled his fingers deeper, one orgasm following the next, leaving a trail of my arousal slathered across my skin as he drug his fingers across my asscheeks and up to the small of my back.

“Don’t fucking say that to me,” I turned around and shoved myself away from his desk, repositioning my pants as I grabbed my bag.

“Where are you going?” He asked as I made my way to the door.

“To hell.”

_________________________________________

If the situation wasn’t already complicated by Hannah’s presence, my mother arriving home added a new element to the entire charade.

“You don’t look so good.” She said as she appeared in the kitchen.

“Thanks. I didn’t have the luxury of going on a two week cruise.” I had been sitting at my laptop at the kitchen table for over an hour preparing the last few batches of PowerPoints for Jeryd’s lectures. With The Marina reopening on the Fourth of July, which also doubled as my twenty-third birthday, I planned to give my notice at the university the following day.

She stopped and looked at me, shocked that I would hit back that deeply. “That wasn’t very nice.”

I had become so used to hard-hitting sarcasm as a defense mechanism, a tactic I had learned from him, or maybe to protect myself from him, that I had forgotten how to have a normal conversation without any dour undertones.

“You’re right,” I said, rubbing my temples, “I’m sorry.” I closed the laptop, offering her a kind smile.

“Tell me about your trip.”

For the next hour we worked in tandem around the kitchen. She chopped onions and I sautéed mushrooms, listening intently as she recounted each port the ship stopped in, tenderly going into detail about each little thing that reminded her of me.

“I really wish you could’ve been with me, my love.”

I wondered if she would still love me unconditionally if she knew what I had been up to. If a mother’s love truly knew no bounds and if she would forgive me for hurting another woman the way my father had hurt her.

“Me too.” I said honestly, knowing I had been out at sea in regards to my own life for the duration of her trip.

We dined together in content silence, sipping wine, enjoying one another’s presence. For the first time in a while, I didn’t think about Jeryd.

But he was there, like he always was, peeping cautiously through his kitchen window at us, like he knew I was debating on coming clean to my mother.

Luckily for him and I both, I decided to live our lie a little longer.

_________________________________________

“You could’ve told me, Olivia,” A few brisk steps and he caught up with me as I made my way down the hall, towards his classroom.

His use of my full name still had a weird effect on me.

I surmised the department head had let him know about my resignation because everything else in my life, big, small, or undefined, he knew about. The more my legs opened for him, the more secrets, or lack thereof, he seemed to pry out of me.

I waited for him to unlock his classroom door, his eyes never leaving mine as he turned the key in the lock.

“You knew I would be going back to The Marina as soon as it reopened.”

He let me enter first, tossing his keys and phone onto the desk with a loud huff of frustration.

“But you could’ve told me first. Seems calculated, no?”

I shook my head, “I knew you’d try to talk to me out of it if I told you first.”

“And you knew I’d be successful.” He seemed almost pleased with himself as he said that, a wry, sly smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

I let out a full body sigh, watching his movements in the reflection of the window I was standing beside, “This was fun once, wasn’t it?”

“In the beginning, maybe?” I continued, willing myself to turn around and look at him. It was a genuine question.

Everything blurred together when I looked at him. Days, weeks, months, years could have passed by and I wouldn’t have had a clue. I had been so wrapped up in him that nothing else had mattered.

He searched my face as I stared at him. Before he could comment, his students began to pour into the room, effectively shutting our exchange down.

I wanted to care about him, I truly did. There was a part of me that wished that he would be an unbearable asshole all the time, just so I’d be able to walk away a little easier. I was tired of the constant battles and pitfalls that existed between us, the need for me to continue waging my internal battles, as I fought for control of my own life and feelings. I was tired of navigating through broken promises and shattered expectations, letting my own guard down only to quickly rebuild it, reminding myself of why it was there in the first place.

I filed out of his classroom with the sea of students once class was over, not willing to face him to hear his answer.

_________________________________________

I kept my distance as July approached, longing for him to want to see me, to need me the way I had convinced myself that I needed him, but my pride wouldn’t allow me to beg myself for an ounce of his attention. I had gotten so used to everything being on his terms, I had forgotten that I was a willing participant in our affair. That I mattered just as much as he did. My needs remained unfulfilled and knowing that he was merely hundreds of feet next door at any given moment sent me into a maniacal spiral filled with thoughts of bursting into his house, of spilling my guts to his wife. Just to hurt him. She was an innocent bystander that my bulleted speech would maim. I lied to myself, my mind assuring me she deserved so much better. That I would be doing her a favor. At the same time, I assured myself he was exactly what I deserved.

If that doesn’t say something about the way I viewed myself then, I don’t know what else does.

_________________________________________

It was hotter than usual that Fourth of July.

“It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity.” My grandmother said to my mother as I walked into the kitchen, grabbing the cup of coffee she slid over to me.

Her southern accent was a means of comfort to me, until she eyed me up and down, “You don’t look so good, Livvy Lou.” Even her sweet cadence couldn’t sugarcoat the fact that I was falling apart.

She continued to eye me over the rim of her teacup, sitting it down long enough to insult me again.

“You look terrible. Like you crawled up from the grave. Was that you throwing up last night?”

“Nope,” I lied. “Must have been the neighbor's dog again.” Knowing good and well I had cried so hard that I had vomited sometime during the witching hour.

She only hummed in response, not looking away as I quickly downed the coffee that had been placed in front of me, grabbing my keys from the counter.

“These were on the porch this morning,” My mother came from the living room holding a bouquet of red roses and a book, neatly bound together with a simple piece of silky red ribbon.

“Who sent this?” I grabbed the book, pale yellow, with the words DOSTOEVSKY: LETTERS AND REMINISCENCES emblazoned on the front in sage green calligraphy.

“Don’t know. It was on the porch when I went out to grab the newspaper this morning.”

“Strange.”

All it took was flipping the book open to notice his handwriting scrawled out on the first page:

‘Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart.’

_______________________________________

“Did you get my gifts?”

About an hour before my shift was scheduled to end, he showed up, requesting a table by the window in a secluded part of the restaurant, in my section.

“I did.”

I looked around at my other tables before gazing back down at him with a soft smile, “Thank you.”

“Do you have any plans tonight?”

“Dinner with my parents and grandma at that Italian restaurant next to the jazz bar on MaryAnn street. I might go out with Heather and her family on their boat to watch the fireworks after.”

He nodded at me, sipping his water to maintain the illusion of casual coolness between the two of us.

“Right, well,” I nodded as I took off, dancing around my section under his prying gaze for the rest of my shift.

I delivered his check, watching as he inked his name across the bottom, letting out a measured sigh as he began to speak, “We need to talk.”

_________________________________________

“You’re going to do this to me on my birthday?”

Per his request, I followed him to the university, its parking lot empty due to the holiday. For a split second, I thought he had wanted to see me, spend time with me, or maybe he would drag me to the backseat like he had on the way home from Hyannis. But as I followed his car closely, those four words, “we need to talk” ringing in my ears, I realized what was coming. I knew it the moment I climbed into his car, when he couldn’t look at me, barely acknowledging my presence as I waited for an answer.

“It’s not personal, Olivia.”

“Stop fucking saying that to me,” I seethed from my place in his passenger’s seat.

He didn’t let my anger phase him. He looked straight ahead, his hands pressed flat down on his thighs, his eyes scanning the empty parking lot.

“Spit it out,” I wanted to sound brave and hardened, like I could take whatever he threw at me, letting it roll off my back in stride, but my words came out as nothing more than an airy plea.

I braced for impact, waiting for the speech about my age and future. The setbacks our tryst would eventually unravel and what lost potential would come along with it. The disappointment of it all.

“Let’s be honest,” he cleared his throat, finally looking over at me, “this thing had an expiration date from the beginning.”

I met a whole different side of him that day. The Jeryd Mencken who is so full of himself, so wholly pompous and removed from any vulnerability, that you start to believe the things he says. He believed himself, at least, in saying that we had an expiration date. So much so that I sat there in silence, running through each word we had shared, every interaction, for any indication that this whole thing had been given a strict timeline.

I laughed incredulously, scoffing at him.

“God. Fuck you, Jeryd.”

I grasped the door handle, clawing at it in an attempt to get away from him.

“She’s pregnant.”

In grim slow motion, I turned around to stare at him, jaw clenched, my entire body coiled up and ready to strike.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

Taglist: @aurorag98

#jeryd mencken x oc #jeryd mencken fic #jeryd mencken fanfiction #jeryd mencken x ofc #jeryd mencken x original female character #justin kirk #jeryd mencken imagine

22 notes · View notes

maxillness · 2 months

Text

Dad’s Best Friend || NL1 x Svan!Reader

Warnings: 18+, unprotected sex, age gap, yearning, hand kink, choking kink (if you squint), talk of absent mother, slow burn-ish

Wordcount: 1.7k

Is this the 3rd post in a row with kitchen sex? Yes, but you wouldn’t have noticed if I didn’t tell you… right?

Anyways, I don’t know how I managed to write a fic where there’s a 1k words build up. It’s not like me

Also, as I wrote this, I imagined it to be set in 2019 where reader is 19 and Niklas 30, but you can imagine it anywhere between mid-2019 and mid-2023

Tag list: @e-nonsense @babyprofessorsharkpalace

She sat on the couch in her father’s home zapping through channels as her phone rang. It was her father

She picked it up “Hey. What’s up?”

“Hey. So, I’m stuck in traffic, looks like for a while. I called Niklas to cancel, but he said he would come over anyway to cook for you. He should be there in a few. Sara and the kids went to her mothers, so it would just be the two of you for a while, just letting you know” He said before sighing

“What? Where are you stuck?” She scrambled to sit on the couch properly

“7 just by Weding. Seems like there happened some kind of crash” He explained

“Wait. If there was a crash on 7, how would Niklas get here?” Her tone was utterly confused

“He was already in Handewitt when I called him” The second he said so, the front door opened “Is that him?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is. Get home safe. Love you”

“Love you too, pumpkin” She hung up the phone throwing it softly on the couch beside her

“Still calls me ‘pumpkin’” She chuckled walking out to Niklas in the kitchen

“You can’t blame him for loving his daughter” He said as he started looking through the fridge “Lasse said you had the things for pasta with pesto. Sounds good?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Thank you for cooking, by the way” She smiled sitting down on the bar stool at the island counter

“Of course, I know how you are in a kitchen, anyway” He chuckled, kissing the top of her head as he passed her

She knew it was wrong, but she hated he only meant the kiss as a friendly gesture. She had had these feeling for him for a lot of years, but only really accepted them after she turned 18

She hated that she couldn’t act upon her feelings, or her fantasies for that matter. She just had to sit in her apartment alone, yearning for something she couldn’t have

She hated how those pretty, big hands of his couldn’t be on her body. She hated the thought of them being on another woman’s body

She hated if she yearned to feel the way his long fingers would feel inside her, or to feel how they would feel around her throat

God, did she love his hands, and it didn’t help that she was sitting in the kitchen while he cooked. She practically drooled at the sight of him working

“Heard from your mother recently?” His words brought her out of her trance, making her look up at him

“No, not recently. She sent me a card on my 18th. That’s the last I’ve heard from her” She sighed

“Sorry. Must be hard for you” He said, his eyes turning soft as he looked into her eyes

“Not really. I’ve lived so long without her. Why would it be hard?” She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion

“I mean, you’ve watched both Marie and Benjamin grow up with their mother. I guess I just thought you might’ve been jealous of them” He shrugged

“Sara has become like a mother to me too, so not really. I’m glad she came into my father’s life” She explained, her eyes drifting yet again from his eyes to his hands

She couldn’t take her eyes off of him even if she wanted to. She could leave the kitchen, but the thought never crossed her mind. She just kept starring at him

The way his delicate finger wrapped around the knife as he cut up the vegetables for the salat, or the way the muscles in his biceps moved every time he did, it sent her into a daze with filthy fantasies

She lightly blushed every time she had caught herself fantasising, but it didn’t stop her further, but he had caught her blushing a few times, and every time he would ask if she was okay, asking if she had a fever or felt hot in any way

She would always dismiss it, telling him not to worry, but of course he did. He had put his hand up to her forehead, feeling her warmth, but she didn’t feel hot in any way

Of course, this contact between skin-against-skin, only sent her further into lewd thoughts, which crept a blush further down her neck and throat

“You sure you’re alright? You look like you’re coming down with something” She coughed slightly before speaking up

“I’m fine. Really” She looked up into his piercing blue eyes “Is the food done soon?” She asked, wanting to shift her thoughts away before she acted upon them

“Yeah. Give me a second. You can find the plates and utensils” He told her as he went back to look down at the counter

She didn’t really have anymore thoughts while they ate, but they all came rushing back when they had to clean

His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows as he was washing off the dishes. Her thoughts went back to those beautiful hands

“Anything I can help with?” She asked as she stood a good amount of distance behind him

“No. I’ve got everything in order, sweetheart” She held back a whine as she tightly squeezed her thighs together at the way he addressed her

To her dismay, he didn’t notice, or that’s what she thought. She leaned against the counter, pulling her phone out of her pocket, starting to scroll through it

She hadn’t noticed the water being turned off before he had pushed her hands away from each other and turned her chin upwards to look up at him

“You sure you’re okay? You’re body’s all red-ish” She lowly whimpered, hoping to god he didn’t hear it

“Well, you did caught me by surprise” Her eyes were filled with innocence as they stared into each others eyes

“I doubt that’s the reason” Their faces were so close they could feel each others breaths on their faces

“Please” It was barely above a whisper as her eyes drifted from his and down to his lips and back up in a quick motion

Her hand tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck when their lips connected softly. She hummed softly as his hands went to her waist, pushing her further into the counter

“You’ll… Hurt your… Neck” She said between kisses, realising just how far he had to bend down to match her height

His hands quickly went to the back of her thighs, lifting her quickly up on the counter “Better?” He asked once he had went back to kissing her

“Much” She smiled into the kiss, loving the way his hands felt on her waist, pulling her closer to his body, making her wrap her legs around his hips

Her hands traveled to his waist and under his shirt as the kiss got sloppy and messy. His lips trailed from her lips over her jaw and down her neck

He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her sweats, slowly pulling them down to pool at her ankles as well as her panties

She threw her head back with a whimper as he drew a cold finger between her folds. A whine drew from her lips as he grazed her clit

He teased her entrance before pushing knuckle deep into her. After a few thrusts, he added a second finger, drawing out loud moans from her

Her hands had now grabbed the edges of the counter, supporting herself. He had softly started sucking on her skin, leaving light marks behind

“We have to be quick, don’t know when my dad get’s home” Her words were slurred between moans

He curled his fingers upwards once before pulling them out of her, resulting in her whining at the loss of contact

He pulled her off of the counter, kissing her roughly before turning her around and bending her over the counter

She looked over her shoulder, biting her bottom lip slightly when she saw how fast he was working on his belt and zipper

She watched how his pumped himself a few times before lining himself up with her entrance

His hands felt so good around her waist as he slowly pushed himself inside her, drawing out a few whines from her

She turned her head away from him, closing her eyes shut as her head fell forward. Both of them started spilling moans when he slowly started moving inside her

“Faster, please. I’m begging you” He didn’t hesitate to give into her wishes as he started thrusting faster into her

Her moans got louder when he did that spongy spot inside her that made her see stars

“Right there, fuck, don’t stop” Her words were slurred from her heavy breath in between her loud moans

“The whole neighbourhood will be able to hear you if you don’t keep it down” He pressed his chest against her back, his mouth just by her ear

“S’just feels s’good” She tried masking her moans with whispers, but she failed miserably “Y’fuck me s’good” Her throat had started hurting and gotten dry from her moans

The only sounds filling the house was the sounds of their skin-against-skin contact, as well as their mixed moans and groans

“Fuck, please. I’m gonna come” Niklas could feel himself twitch inside her as he listened to her voice

“Come for me, sweetheart” His tone wasn’t demanding, but it wasn’t soft either. His words had sent her over the edge, coming around him

Her rapid clenching around him, pulled him closer to his orgasm. His thrusts had become sloppy and uneven as he came inside her

Holding her still, he mouthed soft kisses on the side of her neck, pulling her down to earth again

He slowly pulled out of her before they gathered themselves, fixing their clothes. He kissed the top of her head as he handed her a glass of water

“Don’t you dare apologise” She said once she saw they way he opened his mouth to speak “You’ve already apologised once that was unnecessary, don’t do it twice” Her throat hurt like a bitch as she spoke

“Fine, I won’t” He caught her lips in a soft kiss after a short chuckle

#smut #Niklas Landin #Niklas Landin smut #Niklas Landin x reader #Niklas Landin x reader smut

10 notes · View notes