#that being said i think we’re always gonna be a certain level of vocal about how bullshit exclusionism is because we’re just. Like That | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trashi-bee · 4 years

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Unwind (Sam Kiszka)

Pairing: Producer! Reader x Sam Kiszka

Warnings: 18+ (smut), oral (male receiving)

Lil Summary: You help Sam relieve a little tension after he reveals you’ve been putting too much pressure on him.

Word Count: 1.9 k

This is my first FULL GVF fic so please show your girl a crumb of love xo (p.s not even gonna lie to y’all.. this fic was inspired by this !! pic of lazy Sammy)

also!! big thanks to my luv @thewritingdoll for helping me with this, she also writes for gvf so pls read her stuff (if u havent.. idk why)

Taking yet another glance at your watch, you’re met with the realization that they’re late, again. Not just a few minutes late, but an entire half hour, an inconvenience you were willing to put up with a few times, but once it became a regular occurrence it was hard to hide your annoyance. When met with the offer to work alongside such a talented and upcoming group of musicians, you were undoubtedly ecstatic. The performances they put on and the heart they integrate into every song had you certain they’d be nothing but willing to work efficiently, capable of holding an organized schedule. Unfortunately, the frivolous attitude that allows them to put on a memorable show tends to carry into everyday life, it amazed you they could stay so carefree with so many deadlines fast on their way.

Impatiently tapping your heeled foot against the floor, your head jerks upwards to the sound of a large door bursting open, strands of sunlight surrounding the figure entering the building, you’re soon to realize who it is; a groggy, bed-headed Sam. He staggers forward, eyes hidden by aviator sunglasses, a cup of coffee held low in his right hand. “Glad you could join me, have any idea on where the other’s are?”, cheekily pulling the frames from his face and setting his coffee upon the nearest surface, he looks towards you with amusement, trying to read your demeanor. “Not a clue, you okay y/n? Seems you’re having a bad day”. Scoffing at his concern, you place your hands upon your hips to display your irritation, staring in his direction and eyeing his carefree form, now slouched upon a plush couch placed against the wall. “Just a bit underwhelmed with how fucking relaxed you boys seem to be, considering how much work is yet to be done, and you-”, putting his hand up as to pause your impending rant, he interrupts you mid sentence, “come on now, relax a little, the best music is always made on a whim”. A fiery comeback well on it’s way, your face has surely contorted at his latest comment, the carefree allure he continues to flaunt provoking you further, as if he was pushing your buttons on purpose. “Honestly, Sam, I think you guys have had more than enough leisure time, and maybe you could try giving an ounce of effort for once. Knowing you’re one of the more focused in the group, perhaps you could get them to come a little earlier, or come at all.”

Lifting from his placement on the couch, he saunters towards you, a smirk making it’s way onto his face as he was undoubtedly entertained after witnessing your childish tirade. Circling your form as a hawk circles their prey, unease bubbles within your stomach, spreading throughout your body and making it’s way into all of your extremities, have you been too harsh? Stopping directly in front of you, his face comes closer to yours, so close that you can smell the caffeine he’d just been sipping, on his breath. “That wasn't very nice of you, now was it?”, feeling like a small child being scorned by their parent, you shrivel up, this side of Sam never once been shown before. “Since we’re being so honest today, I ought to remind you of your boundaries, since you seem to be exaggerating your importance here”, with that remark you’re once again ready to sound off, opening your mouth to spout your anger. In an unexpected turn of events, Sam brings his hand forward, clasping his palm around your mouth, stifling your words and catching you off guard, he’d never been so.. bold. Sam was often off in another dimension, head in the clouds and so tranquil it was almost frightening, what allowed him to act so forward today?

Mischief evident in his eyes, he scans the room, his gaze eventually falling back on you. Taking time to gather his thoughts, his mouth opens to speak, and then closes again, as if he was unsure of how to convey what was on his mind. Hand dropping from your face, he takes a step backwards, huffing before finally speaking, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to have you breathing down our necks at every waking hour, of every fucking day”, you’re unsure of how to answer, and reply by simply shaking your head. His newly brazen attitude was no longer making you hostile, the way he looks when irritated stimulating a primal desire within you. Although he continues to speak, voicing his various issues to you in an exasperated tone, you’ve zoned out. Instead, you focus on his surfacing veins, blood rushing through his body at an accelerated rate to accommodate his elevated heart rate, the artery in his neck now significantly prominent. The clenching of his fists and hasty movement of his heaving chest having a stimulant affect on your most sensitive region.

Stopping in his tracks, you’re brought back to reality when his disposition alters, “Have you listened to a single word I’ve said-”, looking at you with confusion and bewilderment, he’s once again sporting a smirk on his face, as if he’s aware of something you’re not. “Are you really gonna stand there and act like you haven’t been rubbing your thighs together?”, heat rising to your cheeks, you come to the realization that he was right. Excuse after excuse rattled through your brain, quickly trying to come up with a feasible reason to cover up your embarrassingly blatant show of arousal, and yet nothing came from your mouth but a defeated sigh. Here you were, moments before, trying to teach him what it meant to be professional, and now you’ve lowered yourself to rubbing your thighs together in order to obtain just a little bit of friction to alleviate the heat between your legs brought on by Sam’s physique.

In a sudden, the atmosphere in the room is altered, what was once a hostile environment now heavy in audacious intent. Lightly tapping his foot against the floor, he stops, an idea having come to him. Wiggling his brows, he voices an impressively smug idea “instead of using those lips to mouth off, how about you help me.. de-stress a little?”. Jaw now slack in surprise, you’re unsure of how to respond. One part of you slightly offended he'd propose something so vulgar, another very prominent portion of yourself wanting nothing more than to please him. Impulsively, you let your desires take reign, nodding your head in affirmation. Your lack of vocal discourse in the past few minutes was amusing to him.

Once more, he unhurriedly steps in your direction, stopping only to brush his calloused thumb across your bottom lip, slightly dipping it into your wet mouth. His skin tastes bitter-sweet, lovely and rugged. Removing his digit from your tiers, he’s left to place his large hands upon your shoulders, applying a slight pressure, a silent gesture for you to drop to your knees. “You can still say no, baby”, he remarks, trying to make certain you didn’t feel pressured to perform. Looking up into his eyes, you slink to the ground, speaking only once your face is level with his evidently hardening package, “Shut up already and let me see it”. Surprised by your sudden change in attitude, he scoffs, taken aback by your rapid mood swings. Once again acting like a fool, he goes to unzip his tight trousers, “as you wish, m’lady”. At once, you place your hands upon his open jeans, pulling them until they fall around his ankles. The only thing now left between his hard length and your mouth, a measly pair of boxers, which you discard just as quick.

Taking a few glorious moments to inspect his tall-standing cock, your mouth involuntarily falls open. Not once had you thought to describe a dick as beautiful, until this very instance. A few veins are visible, running along his shaft, and a trace of pre-cum spills from his defined tip. Your shaky hand goes to grasp it, landing upon it’s base. The slight touch of your skin to his makes him shiver, you pump your palm around his girth a few times before guiding it to your open mouth, relishing in the taste of him. You look upwards to view his face once his entire cock has filled your mouth, and hazily smile around it. Lacing his hands through your hair, he slowly inches you to take more, something you weren't aware was possible.

“God, you look so cute when you’re not complaining”, he half compliments, making you furrow your brows. Releasing your mouth from his base, he lets you regain your breath, all the while removing his hands from your head… a mistake on his part. Although you wanted to please him, you simultaneously wanted to drive him crazy, as a result of his immature attitude.

Entirely switching up the soft tempo that you had started with, you return back to his length with vigor, tightly taking hold of his cock and pumping it at an accelerated pace. Eyes seemingly bulging from his sockets, a soft groan leaves his mouth, making you more than happy. Using every trick in the book, you raise his dick, your tongue quick to play with his balls and lick a wet stripe up the bottom of his cock, something he seems to enjoy as his fists are visibly balled by his sides. Once again taking him into your mouth, you're eager to drive him further off the edge, keeping up your unrelenting speed, you cover him in warm saliva, while simultaneously jacking off the only unreachable, visible part of his base with your hand.

Now even louder than before, whimper after whine can be heard from his heavenly body, a sign that he’s even closer to reaching pure ecstasy, a state you were more than eager to see him in. Wet, lewd noises are audible throughout the room as a result of your sultry attack. “Y-you should maybe slow down a little-”, he stutters, a poor attempt to stop you from pulling a frenzied orgasm from him. Pulling from his length for a split second, you sternly voice “no.”, and quickly resume where you had left off. Knowing he had no choice but to enjoy your intemperate rhythm, he drops his head back, placing his hand on the back of your head to control you for the few last moments. His abdomen tensing and his body shaking, he lets out a divine groan, holding you on the base of his cock for a few seconds to allow for his seed to fill your throat. Gagging slightly, you happily swallow it all, taking every ounce of cum he delivers on your tongue. With a pop, his cock slides out of your mouth, the pair of you taking a second to catch your breath.

Startling you in a moment of vulnerability, you hear a slow clap coming from the opposite side of the room. “FANTASTIC performance! An unexpected twist to an otherwise mundane evening”, without moving to view who had spoken, you’re undoubtedly aware it was Josh. slowly and painfully turning to look in his direction, you’re met with the realization that he had entered with Jake and Danny as well, who were both wide eyed in disbelief. Today’s session was bound to be... interesting.

#sam kiszka #Greta Van Fleet #sam kiszka smut #sam kiszka x reader #greta van smut #GVF #sam gvf #sammy kiszka #sammy gvf #josh gvf #jake gvf #danny gvf #greta van fic

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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inhibited-irregularity · 3 years

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EUROVISION 2021, personal favorites:

- Russia 🇷🇺

Manizha, Russian Woman: Absolute favorite. The sheer originality of the song! Her energy and the level of absolute badassery! She can sing, she can rap,and she's a bomb of energy. The way reggae and brass and hiphop and Slavic melodies overlap and it somehow works, the transitions between fun and "I'm bitter about the sexism and I'm mocking it unapologetically and making a stand" and the anthemic, emphatic and powerful message to Russian women; I was swelling with emotion while watching her. While to an American or a Westerner it may seem like performative feminism, I'm gonna remind you that in Russia and other Slavic countries that's very much not a thing and actually a very unpopular stand to make, and in Russia, The Balkans, and Eastern Europe in general, hundreds of women face domestic and sexual abuse on the daily, and those who do come forward rarely get support and are mostly dismissed. Let's not forget that Manizha got a huge backlash from the Russian government officials, and a big part of it was for her Tajik roots. The honesty of her message is real, and she's speaking from personal experience and the experience of women around her - nothing performative about her song, and you can tell from her delivery that the fire within her is true and she leaves her heart on the stage and pours it into the song. The staging and costumes are great as well, and symbolically well thougt-through. I would really like her to win, or at least get to the top 5. Most of all, I hope her message is heard and felt. 10000/10

- Italy 🇮🇹

Måneskin, Zitti e Buoni: definitely the closest thing to my actual music taste this year, so liking them off the bat wasn't a surprise. However, they're not just your regular Franz-Ferdinand-ish young alt rock band that wants to do rock "properly" - they have IT. The X factor, the Je ne sais quoi. I've been exposed to that particular genre, and I can confidently say that the song still manages to be refreshing and original (that bridge, those riffs!) The band has a great energy and no matter how much Damiano steals the show, they are still a unit and nobody is left in the shadows. They have the spirit of great rock bands of the previous century, and yet they don't try to copy anyone (khm,Greta Van Fleet, khm). Damiano's vocals are both powerful, seductive and provoking, and I'm still admiring the sheer amount of emotion he can pack into a single line and the nuance and yet rawness behind it. I'm not gonna state the obvious lol (the obvious being yes, I'm thirsty as well, he becomes yet another unattainable rockstar for me too,and yes they all look great) Anyway, great song, and maybe the clearest and most serious candidate for the number one spot, taking both the jury and the public into consideration. 10/10

- Iceland 🇮🇸

Daði Freyr and Gagnamagnið, 10 years:

What can I say about this masterpiece that hasn't already been said? A clear fan-favorite (hi, Valentina), but with the guns to back it up. The song is contagious, fun and campy, and unlike some other songs with said qualities, actually good from a musical perspective. Daði is incredibly charismatic and his sense of humor shines through, and even though he's the star of the show, the same can be said about the other band members. The synergy Måneskin has can be applied to Gagnamagnið as well, even though the energy is entirely different. They're serving us fun, sunshine, kitties rainbows sugar spice and everything nice, and manage to do it with zero cringe factor (plus those funky keytars). I'm one of those Eurovision fans that lament the golden age's (2004-2009) campiness (We'll never forget you, Verka), and Daði managed to bring it back, but modernised, polished and still sincere. I personally preferred the epic dad joke that slightly more commercial Think About Thing was (but that's one tough act to follow), but I'm always down for a husband adoring his wife and singing praises to their relationship. Since we're on tumblr, I feel obliged to use the term "cinnamon rolls" in describing Daði and the band. 9.5/10

- France 🇫🇷

Barbara Pravi, Voilà: She brought the theatrics, she brought the drama, and she brought the 101 in "that's how you perform". Her personality leaps through, and her voice is both beautiful and full of emotion and power. I'd hire her to star in a serious and artistic movie. Despite the fact that Voilà is from its melody to the singing style to the video to the vibe and the aesthetic hands down the most French thing I've seen since Amélie (do not come for that movie), it miraculously doesn't come across as a cliché, but rather an homage, and an individualistic one at that. It's not entirely my cup of tea, since I'm usually biased to songs that may come off as snobbish (I mean, the jury is going to lap it up), and are all about being proper and technical and oh how ~artistic~, but Barbara puts the soul into the immaculate. I'm not giving her the highest mark because I'm yet to see the performance, but I'm rooting for her. If she delivers the performance, we might have a clear winner. 9/10

- Ukraine 🇺🇦

Go_A, Shum: I'm a sucker for all things ethnic and mytological, so this was a no-brainer. I want that song played at every party. I want to go to the forest in the video and chant and summon the spring with flute and hard-bass. Kateryna Pavlenko has some unexplainable power over me, and her eyes are simply hypnotizing. The vocals are great, proper Slavic ethno right there (seriously, check out Slavic folklore and traditional music), and she has a subtle punk quality too(?). Ukraine came to save the spring and make us forget about the pandemic, and minus the Maruv fiasco (justice for her!), they always deliver and I expected nothing less. On the other hand, I loved the original version much more and couldn't help but be a bit disappointed with the revamp (yes, I know they had to), and while I personally love Shum, I think some other acts are more deserving of the higher placement. Go_A are not my winner, but definitely soon to be in my playlist. 8/10

- San Marino 🇸🇲

Adrenalina, Senhit ft. Flo Rida: You know that golden age of Eurovision I mentioned? THIS. I'm Serbian, so I can't resist a banger reminiscent of our horrible turbo-folk elements (and I say that endearingly,takes me back to 18th birthday parties (boy I'm glad that's over)). Let's just crown Senhit this year's Queen of Camp. The wild factor of Flo Rida...just?? Amazing. Can't wait to see how the performance goes (EDIT- it went great, I had a grin on my face the entire time and couldn't help but dance along). A certain refreshment after Serhat and Valentina Monetta endless loop. They didn't dial down the weird, but made it catchy af, and the vocal can rival any Balkan folk diva. While I think it's definitely the most entertaining entry this year, it's far from being the most original, and it's not really my genre of preference. Will vote for Senhit and root for her to qualify. 7.5/ 10

- Sweden 🇸🇪

Tusse, A million voices: As I mentioned before, I'm the first person that starts complaining about Sweden Superiority as soon as Eurovision season begins, and I'm with you all with being tired of Sweden qualifying just because they're Sweden and usually just bringing the same brand of MTV/Calvin Harris/American pop, or a successful and not-so-subtle imitation of the performances that did well the previous year,but listen: A million voices is a solid pop song and I'm going to die on that hill. It actually embodies the essence of pop - a catchy, pleasant melody sung by a good vocalist, with a short,sweet and uplifting message. It's not the same as previous years, it's not commercial, just good pop - good pop being something you immediately like and vibe to no matter how many common elements of the genre it checks. It relies on RnB rather than electronic sounds, auto tune or various DJ effects. Tusse is charming and charismatic af, and he's a 19yo kid doing an amazing job on a global stage. You don't have to like it, but there's no need to hate on it (ask Jendrik). Imo, Tusse deserved to qualify. Not winner material yet, but I wish him a fun time and a successful career. 7 5/10

- Switzerland 🇨🇭

G'jons Tears, Tout L'Univers: I saw the video first, and I HATED IT. It came across as a Duncan Lawrence-high-art wannabe, something technically perfect, but empty of soul or meaning, another soft boy with a sad falsetto, another jury-points bait. BUT. I changed my mind entirely after seeing him perform. Hands down, it was touching and epic. Reminding me of Hamlet aside, he DELIVERED, and made me love him, and actually enjoy the song. I still think the song is less original than Tusse's voices, but I enjoy the troubadour vibes of the pre-chours. G'jon is absolutely adorable, and I'm not gonna be mad if he wins. 8/10

shout-outs&honorable mentions:

- Serbia 🇷🇸 Yes, some national bias, but I'm proud of our girls. Ever Since we placed 2nd with Željko's Lane, we had that goddamn flute e v e r y year, and the same outdated scenography with a side of extra pathos (I'm sure that ruined Sanja's chances and her otherwise great performance back in 2016.) Finally something fun and actually representative of the music popular here. They looked flawless and the energy was off the charts. Go, Hurricane!

-Finland 🇫🇮 Yes, cheesy and corny and I cut my finger accidentally from watching the video on all the edge, but I'm biased because they're bringing emo and nu-metal back, and that's the music of my early adolescence (hello, Kaulitz brothers and Andy Biersack,hello Gerard Way and Linkin Park) Call me grandma lol

- Malta 🇲🇹 DESTINY CAN SIIIIIIIIING! I wasn't impressed with the song initially, but the performance blew my mind.

- Ireland 🇮🇪 A for effort, and so nice of her to try and give us something unique! While it wasn't good enough to qualify, it was super fun and she seems so nice. Also, we all know that she was out of breath an can sing much better than that. Still wasn't bad.

- Romania 🇷🇴, for being so young and brave enough to put on a show. The nerves got the better of her, but the song itself is good and no doubt she'll do well in the future

- Lithuania 🇱🇹, thanks for the memeries

- Croatia 🇭🇷, Not my cup of tea, but Albina gave a great performance

-Norway 🇳🇴, for embodying the spirit of Eurovision

- North Macedonia 🇲🇰, for the disco chest

- The UK 🇬🇧, for putting some effort

(Might edit later)

#eurovison #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam #the netherlands #russia #malta #italy #france #iceland #sweden #serbia #esc 2021 #switzerland #san marino #ukraine

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thespacenico · 3 years

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Hi! I just saw your post about asexuality and wanted to share for a sec!! I'm a trans queer guy who happens to be ace as well. I've not thought about it much actively, but I've never really considered myself as part of the lgbt community for my asexuality mainly because it's something I could keep to myself. Being trans was obvious for a while and will always impact me visibly. If I'm in a queer relationship, that's visible. Both have brought me far more strife than my asexuality (although with what you mentioned in your post, I'm sure my situation factors into that). I guess I've always separated my identities; if I want to talk about ace stuff (which is rare, to be fair) I'd go to aspec specific spaces. Otherwise, I go to more generally queer spaces. I mean this in a fully respectful way because I'm interested, but why do you group your "aceness" with your lesbian identity? I have interacted with other ace people outside of the internet and their perspectives wildly vary. I will say anecdotally that the "het" aces I know that consider themselves lgbt for their asexuality often speak over me on queer and trans issues. Personally, I feel there exists a deeper systemic issue regarding trans and queer discrimination than ace discrimination which is part of why I don't immediately consider my asexuality as lgbt or those heteroromantic people as lgbt. In another regard, asexuality obviously is a sexuality (as you mentioned), but I've found with the way my identity blends together, it just makes more sense to talk about that specific part of it with other ace people. I think I see the ace spectrum as a separate thing to measures of the types of people I'm attracted to and the type of person I am. Levels of attraction vs. identity and types of attraction in terms of identity, ya know?? I hope this doesn't sound aggressive!! I really want to hear more about your perspective as a fellow ace person. Most ace people I do regularly speak with who see themselves as lgbt choose that community because that's where they first learned about the label. Feel free to disregard all of this because I know it's long!!!

hi! thanks for sharing! you brought up a lot of good points so i’m gonna try to acknowledge/respond to all of them best i can! for the record, i think it’s worth pointing out that we’re both ace, but since it’s a spectrum there’s a really good chance that even we don’t experience it the same way, which is why discussion amongst the actual asexual community is super meaningful compared to discussion amongst allo people who have a very limited knowledge of asexuality to start with. all that being said, here’s my perspective on things!

I've not thought about it much actively, but I've never really considered myself as part of the lgbt community for my asexuality mainly because it's something I could keep to myself. Being trans was obvious for a while and will always impact me visibly. If I'm in a queer relationship, that's visible.

that’s fair! i agree that it’s something we can keep to ourself, but why do we have to (or choose to) keep it to ourself? the why probably differs for most aspec people. in my case, i’m pretty vocal about my asexuality (on twitter at least), but in real life where i’m surrounded by straight cishet allo people, i keep it to myself because they wouldn’t understand it in the slightest, many of them would think i’m just trying to be special, etc. not only am i assumed to be straight (i’m not), but i’m also assumed to be allosexual (i’m not).

visibility is an interesting topic too because i think that’s when we veer into conversations about things like “straight-passing,” “cis-passing,” etc. at home i’m mostly still in the closet, but my identity is still very much real. it may not always be visible, but it’s definitely there! a visibly queer relationship is just one way our identities are put on display. but even then, sometimes two lgbtq+ individuals can be in a relationship and it’s not visibly queer — for example, two (or even one) bi people in a m/f relationship. to people outside of the community especially, it doesn’t look like a queer relationship, but it very much is.

all that to say, asexuality often isn’t visible per se, but there are many other identities that also lack visibility under certain circumstances, in a sense. that’s why i don’t personally consider visibility very much!

Both have brought me far more strife than my asexuality (although with what you mentioned in your post, I'm sure my situation factors into that). I guess I've always separated my identities; if I want to talk about ace stuff (which is rare, to be fair) I'd go to aspec specific spaces. Otherwise, I go to more generally queer spaces.

i can’t speak on your trans/queer experience specifically (and i’m sorry for the trouble people have given you for them), but this is also where i would personally say that just because asexuality doesn’t cause you as much strife as your being trans/queer, doesn’t mean that it’s not important or any less valid as part of your overall identity. asexuality aside for a moment, the lgbtq+ community has been historically oppressed and discriminated against, basically even before its official inception. this may not be realistic, but let’s say that 100 years from now, we're finally free of that oppression/discrimination. we don’t suddenly lose our place in the lgbtq+ community, do we? oppression doesn’t have anything to do with the validity of our respective identities, if that makes sense. other identities aren’t more or less valid depending on how oppressed they are. that’s my opinion on that! and like you mentioned, i think our personal situations definitely do affect our experiences in general.

when it comes to talking about ace stuff, i think the point is that lots of us within the lgbtq+ community sometimes separate our identities in different ways, even those that aren’t ace, because there are often specific spaces within the community itself. sometimes lesbians need lesbian specific spaces, sometimes bi people need bi specific spaces, sometimes trans people need trans specific spaces, etc. it’s always much easier and more validating to talk to people who share your experiences. like you said, there are also aspec specific spaces! and yet, everyone within one of those specific spaces can have very different identities. as an ace lesbian, i might engage in a lesbian specific space without ever needing to talk about my asexuality, or engage in an aspec specific space without ever needing to talk about my lesbian identity. i’m not necessarily talking about every part of my identity all the time, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

I mean this in a fully respectful way because I'm interested, but why do you group your "aceness" with your lesbian identity? I have interacted with other ace people outside of the internet and their perspectives wildly vary.

i think that for me specifically, i feel like my asexuality plays a veeery big part in how i experience attraction in general. i used to id as bisexual, but after a while i realized i wasn’t attracted to men at all and so began to id as lesbian. it wasn’t until then that i realized i was also ace, and that honestly threw me for a loop because for a while it made me wonder if i was bi after all (i’m not, but i thought about it for a while!). technically speaking, there are other labels i could use to describe my attraction, such as sapphic asexual or homoromantic asexual, although i think for the latter sometimes it depends on how a person feels about the split attraction model and how it can be applied.

either way! it’s my experience that asexuality significantly influences how a person experiences attraction compared to allosexuals. i’d say that’s the main reason i “group” my aceness with my lesbian identity, because to me they’re intertwined.

you’re right though about how the perspectives of ace people wildly vary! it’s super interesting to hear from other ace people what their thoughts are. i think for me it comes down to the fact that some ace people may not need a space specifically for their asexuality, and that’s okay! like you’ve mentioned, they typically don’t experience the same level of discrimination, at least not in the same ways, and sometimes it wholly depends on the kind of people you’re around and whether or not you’re out. many ace people do experience discrimination though and desperately do need that space, and i don’t see why the lgbtq+ community shouldn’t be for them as well, considering. there are certainly differences between issues involving asexuality and other identities like gay, lesbian, trans, etc. but there are differences between issues involving specifically those identities as well, and certain similarities between all of them.

I will say anecdotally that the "het" aces I know that consider themselves lgbt for their asexuality often speak over me on queer and trans issues. Personally, I feel there exists a deeper systemic issue regarding trans and queer discrimination than ace discrimination which is part of why I don't immediately consider my asexuality as lgbt or those heteroromantic people as lgbt. In another regard, asexuality obviously is a sexuality (as you mentioned), but I've found with the way my identity blends together, it just makes more sense to talk about that specific part of it with other ace people.

i know how frustrating it is to have people talk over you about issues that directly impact you and not them, and i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. i do think however that this sort of thing happens even within the lgbtq+ community all the time. this is in no way a justification or excuse for the people who have spoken over you, but just a comparison. i’ve seen tons of conversations (usually on social media) where lesbians will speak over bi women on bi issues, non-lesbians will speak over lesbians on lesbian issues, cis people will speak over trans people on trans issues, etc. it’s frustrating in any case, and it typically has to do with the fact that there’s a certain level of ignorance for almost everyone when it comes to an identity that’s not theirs. (am i making sense??) i even see allo people speak over aspec people on ace issues all the time as well. tldr - i’m not saying there’s not a specific underlying issue with the “het” aces who have spoken over you on those issues, but you can definitely draw comparisons to certain circumstances elsewhere within the community.

i 100% agree with your point that there is a much deeper systemic issue regarding trans and queer discrimination than ace discrimination. i think my view on that pretty much goes back to what i said earlier about how i don’t think discrimination or oppression determines the validity of an identity as an lgbtq+ identity. regardless, like you said about how you feel that it makes more sense to talk about your own asexuality with other ace people, i think sometimes it just comes down to how we perceive/experience our own identities! i often feel more isolated due to my asexuality more than i feel isolated due to my being a lesbian. that may not be the case for all aspec people, but it really impacts me personally.

I think I see the ace spectrum as a separate thing to measures of the types of people I'm attracted to and the type of person I am. Levels of attraction vs. identity and types of attraction in terms of identity, ya know??

that’s also fair! i think in my mind it’s just that aceness is part of my identity/is its own independent identity regardless of who i’m romantically attracted to. my asexuality would still exist whether i’m also a lesbian or not. i just happen to personally combine my identities (aka ace lesbian) because they’re both there and they influence each other.

Most ace people I do regularly speak with who see themselves as lgbt choose that community because that's where they first learned about the label.

i’m glad you brought this up at the very end too!! i first learned about the label from the lgbtq+ community as well, but it took forever for me to realize that it described me. in my experience, asexuality is crazy misunderstood both in and out of the community. it took me weeks to months of doing my own research on asexuality to understand what it really is, and even then that there’s a spectrum. in regards to everything about this post, i think where an ace person falls on the spectrum might be a big factor that plays into what their experience is like and whether they feel they need a space like the lgbtq+ community. either way, the fact that most people first hear about asexuality from the community and the fact that we have our own flag and everything really speaks to all this. why not choose the lgbtq+ community since it’s already here, that’s where asexuality is often talked about, and that’s where people understand what it’s like to experience attraction that differs from the norm?

anyway those are my thoughts!! it’s nice to be talking to someone else who’s actually ace rather than feeling like i’m having to preach to allosexuals who don’t think my asexuality matters period :’)

#asexuality #aphobia #aphobia mention #lgbtq #biphobia mention

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prince-toffee · 4 years

Text

Five Minutes

A sacrifice fic just to prepare for the inevitable.

(Sorry if there’s any grammar errors, I don’t care, I’m tired, ok I do care, consider this a first draft, I’ll fix it if something’s up.)

The doors locked. They did it. They won. The door ‘s access panel changed it’s green light to a red. The display on the panel read ‘Warning, temperature rising to dangerous levels. Clones present in WatchPoint Bay Q6.’ “Yeah, no shit.” Modulok grumbled to himself, and partially to the panel, as he sat down on the walkway next to his brothers.

“Sooooo, what- what’s happenin’? Is it working?” Vultak asked swallowing fear down his throat as he stuttered on the ‘what’. It did work, the Princesses managed to destabilise the core of the capital warship, The Velvet Glove. The She-Ra, Princess of Power, ploughed her mystical sword into the power core, which resulted in the station’s propulsion systems going offline and set the warship on a collision course with Etheria’s most populated centre, BrightMoon.

“Yeah, it worked alright.” Modulok scratched his two heads with his two left hands, “I just... I calculate that we’ve got about five minutes before either the ship burns up ooooor the all-mighty, all-powerful relic sword explodes and tears our atoms apart and flings them across the ten dimensions... maybe both, probably both.” Modulok shrugged his shoulders with a lifeless chuckle, which didn’t really comfort the perched Vultak on the walkway railing. Then again, what would possibly lighten the mood in that moment.

Hordak and Princess Entrapta managed to angle the station in a manner that it’d just nearly miss the planet, burn up in the atmosphere and use the momentum of the gravity to sling shot it into a surrounding moon. The space station was mentally linked to Horde Prime, everything was operated and controlled with his consciousness. With Prime dead, it put them into a difficult circumstance. Someone had to stay behind to make sure the ship stayed on course, someone mentally compatible with the Horde systems. Hordak was the logical choice, actually he was the only choice. He was the only High General present, meaning only he comprehended and was familiar with the warship systems. Hordak thought it was funny, She-Ra did finally kill him. A destiny fulfilled.

“Five minutes to live. That’s not a lot...” Mosquitor spoke up, giving off a an exhausted sigh. All six clones present in the room fell into tense and anxious silence. Fear and sadness blocked their throats, they weren’t used to talking, with their vocal cords, it was forbidden. Clones were only allowed to communicate telepathically and only communicate about their duties and objectives. Small talk wasn’t in the Horde dictionary. Ironically the only places where clones were able to talk and showcase their individualism was on the frontlines.

“Okay, so five minutes left of life... any last words?” Modulok asked shimming his rear to find a comfortable position to sit on the hard, cold walkway. A grated panelled pathway suspended at the centre of a deep chamber above a transparent force shield at the bottom. Which frames a view of heat and fire outside, melting and charring the metal outer casings of the ship.

“What’s there to talk about?” Despara quirked her brow at her brother’s question.

“Well, we’re clones, we don’t get this lucky. We’ve got five minutes to make up for all the decades of silence.” Modulok articulated.

To guide the warship most effectively Hordak had to observe the trajectory from a vantage point, that was where their paths diverged. Princess Entrapta protested, she held his hands in her own, massaged his knuckles with her thumbs. She raised herself up on her hair to face him eye to eye. She even gave him her signature smile, the one that melted his heart in a second. She had that look of possibility in her glistening crimson eyes, a spark of wonder and wanting that looked into multiple futures, hundreds of possibilities, a look that showed Hordak what he had to fight for, a world where that smile, those eyes and that laugh and that brilliant mind exist. A perfect world. He chose to make it, even if it was without him in it. He decided to do something his brother could never. A final gift to Entrapta, for all the trouble and confusion he caused her.

He gave her a kiss on her gloved hand, befitting for royalty, he gave her the best smile he could, and for the last time, he left her. Princess Entrapta would go on to cry for many days to come, but it was for the best. The greater good.

“Alright. I’m just gonna say it, food, not a fan. Too mushy. Has to go through your entire digestive system, which I didn’t even know existed until a few cycles back, and it has to come out th-” Modulok was cut off by Hordak, who previously was completely silent.

“You didn’t have to come with me.” He didn’t even look at them as he spoke, face down, staring at a small purple crystal in his hand, which he used to fugit with to ease his nerves.

“What are you talking about? We stay together. We’re defects.” Despara states to Hordak almost offended, all of them were through a lot, she felt offended that Hordak thought they’d abandon him now.

“We fought through war. We hold-ass across the universe. And we killed our god! Together!... Well, technically the blonde Valkyrie lady killed Prime, but still it’s the thought that counts.” Vultak shrugged, attempting to lighten the mood. Hordak rubbed circles on the purple crystal, looking down on it, his face reflected in it’s cracked surface. L-U-V-D. That’s what was etched on it. A fact. A reminder of her compassion. A wake up call. And he did wake up, from a dream world he believed all his life. A life of lies. From a hazy of toxic green to a reality of flaming red.

“I am your general. I stood at our brother’s side, you were mere soldiers, pawns. I deserve this pain, not you. You could’ve- you should have had normal lives.”

Mosquitor chuckled to himself, “Normal isn’t exactly in our dictionary.” The towering brute countered as he cradled the young hybrid in his arms, keeping Zed near his chest. As if it would make any difference when the fire broke through. “Also we’re not the kind of people the Etherians seem to want to deal with.” The statement made a wicked smile form on Hordak’s face. He enjoyed being in charge, being the one with the carrot on the stick. Having something of his own, something to his own name. They will always remember his name. Never forget. No one will ever forget.

“Then what do you think happens to our brothers? You think the Princesses kept their side of the bargain? You think their all off the ship, that they evacuated them?” Despara asked most likely imagining the worst, a possibility that there were some other poor clones still on board. That they were sacrificing lives that weren’t there own.

To quiet their minds, Hordak tiredly claimed, “No. They kept the promise. They’re honest people.” Hordak added that they had to, they were just like that, it was in their nature. Hordak knew their brothers were fine. BrightMoon had no court to try them, no holding cells and wouldn’t have enough to hold all of them for decades to come. And hopefully if Entrapta didn’t decide to hate him, she’d help them all and embrace them in her warmth. Dryl hadn’t had citizens for a decade or two, he was sure the clones wouldn’t be much of a downgrade. Add some life to the ghost town, so she doesn’t feel alone anymore.

“Yeah, well whatever they’re up to, it can’t be as bad as the predicament we’re in, heh.” Vultak flapped his winged arm around, a sharp gasp of pain escaped him as he moved his right around. No wonder either, it was bent forward, from the fight with Prime, literal minutes ago. It felt so victorious for just a moment, but life has a fun way of turning tables around.

“Plus, the Princesses, totally lame, right?” Modulok rolled his eyes as he attempted to stand up to get over to V and help his brother’s arm. But Vultak raised his left hand in protest, there was no need. It was going to be over soon. Modulok sat back down in defeat, amusement draining from his two faces. What good was a medic that couldn’t fix his fellow soldiers.

It was Mosquitor’s turn to brighten the situation, “Hah, yeah I bet they’re all clawing their ears out by now. Hehe, remember what those colour coded pansies moaned about all the time? Friendship? And rainbows? What a mucha losers, eh? Hehe... heh.”

“I remember.” Hordak stated. Never again. Never forget.

“Yea, losers.” Despara nodded.

“Losers.” Modulok and Vultak said at the same time.

“...Hmmmhehehahah- HA!” Modulok covered his face to hide his ugly laughter, forgetting about the other one expressing the same emotion.

“Mode, what the hell now?” Vultak asked, a smirk creeping up on him.

“Hehehehahahahhhh, ahhhhh man, w-heh-which one was the one that tried to hug Zed, heheheh and- and got burned. Oh lord. Oh Great Darkness. That face was priceless. HhhhhhhhHAHAHA!” The infectious mirth managed to wriggle out a small spasm out of Zed. His shoulders moving up and down, his nasal cavity wrinkling up in that cute way. Of course the young Zed contributed no sound of amusement as he was mute.

Despara shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know. They all look the same to me.” The room shook violently, the pipes above rattled and metal panels fell off the walls and fell down through the force field below. Hordak’s realisation dawned on him, that he would be departing the mortal realm. Even thought there was an inferno forming beneath him, just outside that thin force field, even though he was surrounded by his clone brethren, his mind couldn’t help but wonder off to the thought of a certain Scientist Princess. His mind run wild with quite corny and laughable poetry, everything he wished he said to Entrapta. But didn’t.

He didn’t need her to devote her entire life to him. No. That’d be caging her. She deserved to be free, free to bend the universe to her will and bow before her beautiful intellect. He didn’t need her to lay her lips on him, she didn’t need to touch him. All he needed was just to see her smile, at him. Just for her to be with him, because that smile just for a moment saves him, just for a moment she makes him forget the endless pain he endured every day of his life. And every smile felt like an eternity of bliss. And so with just a look that woman could transport him into a perfect world, where he could live an eternity-long life.

But he didn’t say any of that to her. Hordak knew Entrapta wasn’t interested in long speechs, she had a short attention span, she was a woman of actions not words. That’s why before all this all Hordak gave Catra was a short note to give to Entrapta. He had her promise that she’d apologise to Entrapta, for all that she had done. Unfortunately, he made her apologise for the two of them. The note read ‘I’m sorry, and thank you. - Your ever loyal knight, Hordikins. Farewell My Queen.’ He could have gone on how there were no words in any dialect across the universe that could express how she made him feel, or that if she only asked he would have gifted her the universe. The note said everything it made to.

“Kinda sucks, all this. I only came on sentient a few hours ago.” Despara stated playing with her hair. The statement of dry humour pulled Hordak back from his day dream. “But I’m glad I had the opportunity to meet all of you. And... and be myself, even if it was short lived.” Despara finished. The words brought smiles to her fellow brothers, the past few Horde cycles were the craziest experiences of their lives, because they were experiencing life itself for the first time. They decided where their paths led. Especially Despara. She wasn’t always... herself. What was going to become Despara was clone DSP-772,411, whom was the detention guard overseeing Catra’s cell. ‘411 had never met an other lifeform other than clones. Dess was a servant clone. Never stepped outside the perimeter of The Velvet Glove. Her insight on the lay out of the ship came in useful to the defects in their infiltration to kill Prime. ‘411 always felt like they weren’t serving their cause properly, along side their dying brothers on the frontlines. Though not on the battlefield she risked her life every day. Prime had a tendency for violent mood swings. A dinner party for Prime’s guests could be more traumatising and devastative to a clones health than the trenches. Many clone have begged to be sent to the frontlines to escape the unspeakable horrors which occurred within the walls of the warship.

‘411 was immediately drawn to the captive Magicat. Catra spilled her heart, cried and whimpered, talked about an old flame of her’s, about how she hurt people close to her, about how the Princesses were “full of it” as she put it. And ‘411 listened to all of it. And at the end, when Catra’s tears dried up and she quieted down, all ‘411 could ask was, what a ‘she’ was. It must’ve shocked Catra, eyes wide in confusion and mouth drooping low in surprise. Hordak was there when she did, but he could’ve imagined the cat’s reaction, mostly because his first Force-Captains had the same reaction when he first asked that same question in his first years on Etheria. Captain Octavia had quite an interesting evening that day. He made her swear an oath of silence, to never speak of that embarrassing encounter.

Clones had no concept of sex or gender, things just were the way they were. As Prime intended them to be, perfect. The bodies and missions given to them by Prime were unquestionable. And it never was questioned, because none knew what other possibilities were out there. The alien armies of the Horde encountered were all different and unique, but there was no time or reason to study them. It wasn’t an objective. Prime did not care. Her brothers may have not fully understood, what Despara meant when she said she was always “this” deep down, but none argued, none protested against their new sister. She was a clone, a defect, one of them. She was a new experience. One of a kind. And as Vultak put it ever so elegantly, “Cool. I never had a sister before.”

It was ultimately her who let Catra out and helped her escape back to the Alliance. Hopefully she got that kiss she so desperately needed. Hordak met ‘411 only once before being sent off back to the frontlines, his return and the assault on the Velvet Glove, and briefly at that, on his way with a breakfast tray to Queen Glimmer’s guest room.

“Hey, hey, stop with that sappy stuff.” Mosquitor waved his hand dismissively, rolling his eyes. Moe, as his brothers called him, much like most clones including Hordak, wished to at all times seem tough. Poor MSQ-999,332 had it worse than most. He hide his defection for much longer than Hordak. The illness became so bad that eventually he could no longer use his own legs, his waist and legs lost all near all muscle mass. And so ‘332 became paralysed. He was just slowing down his platoon down, so his lower body was amputated. Of course the brother that rescued and brought Moe on board was executed for the crime of ‘Conferring with Inappropriate Machinery’. And Prime personally threw Moe out the airlock back down to the battlefield. ‘332 spent most of his days afterwards, crawling across mudded trenches. Luckily, Moe met on that some battlefield, MUD-111,117, or Modulok.

Nothing, but hatred and vengeance flew through his veins, it did for all of us. Mode managed to construct a life support system, for Moe, a walking hospital bed. Many parallels could’ve been made between it and Hordak’s own First Ones suit, created by Entrapta. Moe’s unit was twice the size of Hordak, it made him tower over even Prime, but the biggest difference was, Hordak’s suit was near indestructible, Moe on the other hand even if he had intimidation on his side the armour was more for life support than anything. Mosquitor faired better from a distance, ‘332 was an amazing snipper. The room shook more, sparks fling from wiring in the wall, the walkway holding them vibrated and shuttered. Moe took hold of Zed in his large arms, readying for the end.

The sight made Hordak thankful that Entrapta took Imp and got him to safety. The Lord of the Horde didn’t think he could’ve handled having to be forced to watch he’s own creation die... his little spy. He was safe, back on Etheria, in a loving home with a loving overseer. He only hoped that she’d teach Imp her ways, and hoped that one day Imp would grow into an intelligent man worthy enough to continue her legacy of brilliance.

Zed was the youngest of all the clones, although technically the creature wasn’t even a clone, but rather a hybrid. A prototype of the splicing initiative. A combination of Prime’s DNA and an unknown gene pool. The kid was an attempt at a creation of super soldiers, but failed. Poor kid always wanted to meet that other half of him. That other person that aided in bringing him into the world. This awful, awful world. Sadly, he never will, but he was the first to follow Hordak into the chamber. The boy did say back on the frontlines, that he’d jump into fire after him. And it was true. And to be more accurate, he didn’t say, he signed. All the defects learned the universal sign language. Zed might’ve been silent, but his voice wasn’t unheard.

He’s fate should have been a better one. He didn’t deserve this, he had a full life in front of him. Hordak never knew what drew Zed to him, why he asked so many questions, why he snuck out at night to see him in the trenches. When Prime sent Hordak back to the frontlines, after his torturous reconditioning, he lost hope, but when he stepped out, or rather more accurately, when he was thrown out the troop dropship. Face first in a muddy trench dozens of defects thrown down with him. When he looked up from the dirt and filth, a slither of hope ignited in his belly, as a hand extended to him. Wonder in the boy’s eyes. He overheard Hordak’s mention of being trapped on other worlds.

”Hey, V you’re staring into the ceiling buddy. Talk to us.” Modulok snapped his fingers at his winged brother. Vultak didn’t turn to face him, mesmerised by the ceiling falling apart. V’s facial expression showcased a hypnotised look. As a combat aerial unit he always did look into the skies. But it probably had to do something with the impending doom below. ‘Don’t look down.’ Hordak remembered was the advise Vultak gave him when they leaped out onto the Velvet Glove from the dropship they stole, which exploded seconds later in the void of space as it filled with laser fire. VLT-441,441 was a paratrooper in the Horde military, until of course his defect began to show. He was always used to jumping into certain death, fearless in any mission. Vultak didn’t fear anything physical, nothing in the universe made him back down. But now, at the end he looked frightened, he couldn’t look down, do no more leaps of faith, for faith, he lost.

It’s true V feared nothing physical, because he had faith. He was a man of god. A believer. But what happens to a man when your god turns his back on you? Horde Prime knew defection was inevitable for many clones. No machine was perfect, especially no war machine. So Horde Prime infused prophecies and implanted messages into all clone subconscious, so that when defection occurs, all clones are compelled to return to him. Easier than hunting them down, easier to cover up the disgrace of his failures. Easier to hide his mistakes, he couldn’t afford to let those space fairing races above him mapping his progress to know about things like that. Couldn’t afford to let those higher than him know he was capable of mistakes. Perfection was expected of him. Those others above him, he tried to impress them, to have them take him in, show him enlightenment. He, all he wanted to do, was show he was worth their celestial time, he was worth something.

And now he’s nothing. He is now dead. Hordak found that he began to enjoy poetry and it’s irony more and more, in a twisted sort of way. Truly clones.

“Do you... Do you think there’s something out there for us? Up there, where ever?” The questions were deafening, everyone hoped Vultak wouldn’t have gone existential on them. But Vultak was the biggest patriot of them all, even surpassing Hordak’s obsession with their brother. And in turn he was the one most hurt by Prime’s betrayal. He was no god, no grand being, just a liar. Hundreds of thousands murdered... for him, because they believed their big brother. Hundreds of thousands, they murdered, for a lie.

“Do you think any of it was true? Do you think he believed any of it? Or was it ALL a lie?” Hordak answered V’s question in his mind, since never before was it a private place: Lie. “The Perfect World. The Grey Mound? The Hold Peck? The Great Darkness?” V grit his teeth, another wave of pain from his broken arm.

“Worried about being sent to the bad place, V?” Modulok asked, weak smile wearing.

“I’m just wondering. What’s waiting in the beyond for a guy like me. It can’t be anything good... if there even is anything up there.” Modulok decided to stand up and close the distance between him and his distraught brother. He leaned against the railing on which Vultak perched himself.

Mode gently touched V’s shoulder, it made sure V looked at him when he spoke. “I promise you, where ever you wake up on the other side, I’ll be there with you. And I’ll always fix you up after you jump into certain doom. Brother, you have my word.” It was true, the two were inseparable. Threw pure change the two met on the frontlines. While V had his head in the clouds, Mode grounded him, pulled him down to his level. Mode was a realist. He was bad at his bed side manner, he never lied to himself or his patients. He was a field medic, he saw things no one should, endured horrors unimaginable to the innocent. Modulok was the oldest to them, he was through a lot, fighting from world to world longer than any of them in Prime’s name. Over the many decades the spark of pride dulled, Mode found himself lost, fighting across the stars for a cause he no longer believed in.

Mode’s was haunting, even to other defects, whom experienced hardships and injustice. Modulok’s defection was the most dire Hordak ever seen, MUD-111,117 developed a second head, and two left arms. His genome could have been compaired to a computer glitch, untreated it just got worse. It was a miracle that Mode managed to make it to such an old age. Many species across the universe considered age to be a weakness, a disadvantage, but ‘117 always argued that with age came experience, and with experience came knowledge, which in turn led to wisdom. It was Mode who constructed Moe’s suit, led Dess’s surgery, gave V his wings and taught Zed sign language. A true veteran. He had been through it all.

But what Mode never helped Hordak with anything, ‘ 117 was a medic, he was compelled to fix others. But when Hordak first arrived at the fronts of Primus Minor, he isolated himself from everyone else, kept to himself. Hordak treated his own wounds, he worked on his armour alone. When he took the suit off, he was forced to walk on his own, no armour support system. And so he locked himself in an unused compartment of the trenches and over the course of six months, he learned how to walk. Baby steps to an adult man, who never had a childhood. Mode gathered from all of that, that Hordak was a loner. A solo act. Didn’t do well with people.

There came a day where Mode pulled Hordak off to the side and asked him why he worked through all the baggage alone? Why didn’t he ask for aid? Why did he ignore them? Hordak apologised that it seemed like he was avoiding them. And what Hordak said back in response stayed with the medic ‘til the end of his life.

“Mode... If there is good and evil.

And good is better than evil.

God has to be good... Right?”

“I suppose so.”

“So, are we good? Are we... like him?”

“What do you think?”

“I think there’s no such thing as good or evil.

But it’d be nice... to be good.”

“So, anybody got any idea how much time we’ve got left?” Despara asked looking at Modulok. Who just struggled in return, he didn’t exactly have a timer, he simply estimated the time remaining. “So that’s a no? We don’t kno- We can just blow up at any second?... Cool.” Dess combed her hair with her fingers to calm her nerves.

“You really think a timer would settle your nerves?” Moe asked unconvinced.

“I suppose not.” Dess admitted.

“I could’ve been with her.” Hordak spoke up suddenly in the middle of the conversation, honestly he was so quiet Despara forgot he was there, even though he was seated right next to her.

“What’d ya mean?”

“I could’ve saved myself... the First Ones crystal, it’s a server. To help me sync up with her new armour, Entrapta recorded my brain waves on the crystal. My memories, my thoughts, my personality, all of it... I could have given it to her when I last saw her.

But I didn’t.

I lied.

I left her.”

All five siblings turned their heads side to side take turns looking at each other and then back at Hordak. His face unmoved. Looking at the purple crystal. Zed stood up and broke free of Moe’s embrace. The young one stepped up to him. Hordak’s blood red eyes drifted up to the boy’s hands. He signed.

‘Why?’

“...Because it wouldn’t be me. Not me. A clone of me.”

The clones fell silent. Head bowing down. No more needed to be said. Every aspect of their lives had been thrown into question, into uncertainty. When the assault on The Velvet Glove happened, Hordak was leading the charge. Prime captured him and tortured him, he hurt him in front of Entrapta. He fell to his knees and crawled back to Prime, like he always did. But this time it was different, he stood up, he walked to him. Like a man, not a dog. Prime insulted and demeaned him. Prime claimed that Hordak wasn’t wasn’t a person. Clones were nothing, mere shadows of his greatness. The clones were him, just dirtier, unclean. A lesser version of what he was.

This was their stance against that. Showing that their lives meant something. That they were worth something. They were worth the world, for that was what they were saving. The scale balanced out.

The force field beneath them gave off a thunderous sound, a final warning. The bay shook one more time, the artificial gravity became disabled and the room began to tilt and shift. The metal walls crumbled like paper. The walkway began to swing and crack. Mode took V’s unbroken hand into his own. Moe embraced Zed in his arms one last time. Dess wrapped her arm around Hordak’s shoulder, and he inturn pressed his head against hers.

Modulok gave his last words in the form of a question, “...Do... Do you think... Could’ve we done something, could’ve we ended up with a happy ending, all of us? Could’ve we been good? Would it have make any difference?”

Hordak spent his last moments thinking, he didn’t realise he was thinking out loud, “Good? I think there’s no such thing as good?...

But it was nice...”

What ever this was. What it meant. What it was worth.

The force field imploded, gave in. The fire broke through. The Velvet Glove burned up in the atmosphere. And the clones were no more. And on that day all of Etheria cheered, and celebrated. For the evil was vanquished.

Ding-dong! The witches are dead.

#hordak #entrapta #entrapdak #spop

13 notes · View notes

anotherkpopvictim · 5 years

Text

I Wanna Worship Your Body - TaeKook Drabble

(Source - softjeon)

A/N: So this is my first non-littlespace story I’m posting. I wanted to post something for Jungkook’s birthday so I whipped this up in 24 hours.

While it doesn’t involve littlespace, Jungkook does slip into subspace, so some things here might be similar to what little Jungkook does in some of my other fics - like speaking in third person and referring to Taehyung as hyungie (daddy a few times near the end).

Also, I apologize that this fic is kind of similar to the last two I posted. I’m very interested in the dynamics of dom/sub and certain kinks (pet names, praise, etc.) but I will write other things in the future. I also have a thing for baby boy kook but I will write some taekook fics where Jungkook is the one in charge. I might already have one in the works (wink, wink).

For now, this is what I have for you.

Enjoy <3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Kim Taehyung

Rating: M

Words: 4686

Smut, fluff, Sub!Kook, Bottom!Kook, Dom!Taehyung, Top!Taehyung

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

The entirety of the day that Jungkook’s birthday fell on was full of anticipation and arousal.

He woke up to the sunlight shining in through the gap in curtains and warming the room. There were two strong, familiar arms wrapped around his waist from behind, the body attached to the limbs shifting as they too woke.

“Happy birthday, baby,” Taehyung’s deep baritone droned into his ear.

Jungkook bit his lip and sighed contently as his hyung moved down to suck a hickey into the younger’s shoulder (a place that was easy to cover up with makeup).

Taehyung had an obsession with marking - something that had become known only a few weeks after meeting each other, but long before they were dating. Even back then, when they were merely friends, Taehyung would suck little marks into the skin of Jungkook’s neck or sometimes his arms - wherever he felt like really.

Yeah, maybe it was a little strange for something between people who claimed to be just friends, but the maknae didn’t mind in the slightest - he probably loved being marked as much as Taehyung loved to do the marking. Jungkook found it almost relaxing.

Now that they were dating, Taehyung was even more possessive, sucking larger marks all over the maknae’s skin, favoring his more intimate areas like his thighs and stomach. Over time, the older was able to find all of the spots Jungkook was most sensitive, and he learned just how hard he needed to suck to make the actions arousing for the younger.

“Hyungggg...” he whined a bit under his ministrations, “Don’t start something you’re not going to finish. I think we have to be out the door in like ten minutes.”

Taehyung hummed but refused to stop his marking. Once he was satisfied with the dark purple bruise staining the otherwise smooth, unmarred skin of his baby’s neck, he pulled back and admired his work.

God, Jungkook looked beautiful.

“How do you feel about playing a little bit while we’re out today, bun?” he asked sensually, pressing a kiss to the younger’s hair.

Jungkook bit back a whimper of arousal at the implications, the nickname only making him want to squirm more. “Y-Yes, please, hyungie. I-I’d really like that.”

He wasn’t quite sure what the older had in mind but playing while they were working usually meant touching under the cover of a table or wearing a butt plug the whole day. Either one made the maknae want to squirm in anticipation.

“Yeah, bun? You gonna be good for hyungie and do whatever he wants today?” Taehyung asked, tightening his arms around the younger’s waist so he was pulled flush against him.

Jungkook gasped as the older’s half-hard cock pressed up against his ass through the fabric of their sweatpants. “W-Wanna be a good boy.”

With a pleased hum, Taehyung pulled back and turned the maknae onto his back so they could face each other properly. The submissive haze over Jungkook’s eyes made Taehyung’s gut coil in arousal. “I’m not going to tease you right now, because today is going to be a little more difficult than usual, baby,” the older explained.

With curious, slightly nervous eyes, Jungkook watched his hyung reach over and pull out an object from the bedside table. He gasped when he realized what it was.

Taehyung held a sparkly pink vibrator in his hands. The object itself wasn’t very big, but it wasn’t small either. It had a good thickness and a length that, when snugly fitted inside his hole, would just graze over Jungkook’s prostate - that was why it had been purchased in the first place.

Jungkook had used it before, and it was definitely one of his favorite toys, but he’d never experienced a vibrator plugging him up throughout the whole workday. He’d used plugs, but never a vibrator.

The maknae nearly whimpered when he mentally went over the day’s itinerary. They didn’t have dance practice (that was one thing that was impossible to get through with anything in his ass) but they did have a few interviews and a quick stage rehearsal for their upcoming concert next week. Though the interviews would be difficult to get through - Jungkook knew that Taehyung would tease him relentlessly throughout it - the stage rehearsal was what worried him the most. It wasn’t as strenuous as they didn’t actually give the choreography their all during the rehearsal, but it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park either.

“I want to be clear, baby,” Taehyung said, eyes turning serious, “I plan to tease you with this today, from when you put it in until tonight, and I won’t go easy on you. But, because it is your birthday, I promise that you’ll get what you want tonight.”

Jungkook understood what he was saying. Orgasm denial was a frequent part of their sex life, and sometimes the younger went weeks without getting off, despite how many times Taehyung brought him close to the edge. It was always so worth it in the end, though. When it was all finished and all those denied orgasms built up and he was finally able to cum.

“Tell me your safewords, bun,” there was an air of dominance about Taehyung’s words that sent a shiver down Jungkook’s spine.

“G-Green for good, yellow for slow down, and red for stop.”

“Good boy,” the older praised with a coo, “You can use your safewords anytime you need and hyungie won’t be upset with you, okay? I need you to understand that, baby.”

Jungkook licked his lips, “I understand, hyungie. W-Want it, please. I promise I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

Taehyung smiled softly then, the contrast between it and the dominant gaze in his eyes sexy as all hell. “Alright, bun. Hyungie’s gonna open you up a bit for the vibrator, okay?”

Once the maknae vocalized his consent, his hyung worked on slipping the sweats off of Jungkook’s body. Never one to wear underwear under his sweatpants, Jungkook was now completely exposed to the older’s lustful gaze.

“So beautiful, my baby,” Taehyung commented almost mindlessly.

He didn’t waste time teasing the younger right now (the poor maknae was going to be teased all day, so the least he could do was give him a little break) and slipped a couple of lubed up fingers into Jungkook’s tight ass.

Despite Taehyung’s best efforts not to tease the younger, Jungkook was still struggling to hold back his moans. The flashes of pleasure he felt as his hyung stretched him out thoroughly caused his cock to plump up.

As soon as three fingers fit into the maknae’s hole more easily, Taehyung removed them. Jungkook whined out his protests but quieted down as he felt the lubed up vibrator slip past his fluttering rim.

Taehyung firmly pushed the vibrator into place, the younger letting out a little cry as the head of it grazed over his prostate. “Oh, god, TaeTae-hyungie!”

Momentarily, Jungkook worried that he’d overestimated himself. He’d assure the older that he could take the vibrator, but it wasn’t even turned on yet and Jungkook wasn’t sure if he could make through the day with the teasingly gentle pressure.

But a more sinful part of him wanted the teasing, wanted to be brought to the edge and back as many times as Taehyung wished.

“That’s a good boy, Kook,” his hyung praised, leaning down to press a reassuring kiss to the younger’s lips.

Just at that moment, Taehyung’s phone alarm went off, signaling that they needed to get up. The older turned it off quickly, “I won’t turn on the vibrator for at least fifteen more minutes. You might want to make good use of that time and get yourself ready.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened and he bolted out of the bed, leaving behind a smugly chuckling Taehyung.

--------------------------------------------------

By five o’clock that night, Jungkook was a hot mess.

The maknae had managed to get through his morning routine and had just finishing breakfast when the vibrator suddenly buzzed to life inside of him. It had only been on the lowest level, but Jungkook had yelped and jumped, causing some of the birthday breakfast cake Jin and Yoongi had made to go flying off of his plate.

“Are you alright, Kook-ah?” Namjoon asked, looking on worriedly from across the table.

The maknae willed himself not to turn into a tomato and instead plastered a smile on his face, “Yeah, I’m fine, just-” the vibrator had gone up a notch and caused him to squeal. He masked the sound by turning it into a cough, “-just really excited for the day!”

The others hadn’t looked like they particularly believed him, but they thankfully let it go in the end.

By the time they got to the set for the interviews, Jungkook had pretty much adjusted to the constant vibrating on the second setting. That particular vibrator had seven levels, and he couldn’t help but wonder how high Taehyung would take it.

Halfway through the first interview, the constant vibrating turned to pulses, falling into a pattern similar to Jungkook’s racing heart. He didn’t startle that time (thank god) but his hands did visibly tighten where they were clutching at the sides of his chair.

Jimin had given him a confused look, silently asking him what was going on. The older had, once again, let it go, as Jungkook proceeded to answer a question from the interviewer.

He had been proud of himself for speaking so eloquently while having a pulsing vibrator shoved up his ass.

Unfortunately, Taehyung had been seated as far away from Jungkook as he possibly could get, which made things even hotter and more nerve-wracking. The younger couldn’t see what his hyung’s hands were doing at all, so he had no idea when he was going to change the setting again, and it had him on edge in the best way possible.

Jungkook somehow survived the four long interviews, with Taehyung slowly changing the vibration levels up to five and alternating between constant vibrations and pulsing ones.

The car ride to the location of the stage rehearsal was a (sort of) break. Taehyung turned the setting down to one again and sat with the younger in the backseat of one of the cars. He ran his hands soothingly through Jungkook’s hair and whispered how good he was being into his ear.

The maknae himself felt only half-alive at that point - somewhere between reality and a faraway place. His whole body was bordering on too warm, his skin a little tacky with sweat.

“Hyungie,” he said softly, so the others seated in the front of the car wouldn’t be able to hear them, “You still promise to let me cum later, right?”

He needed the reassurance because the day was more difficult than he had expected even though he was enjoying it so far. But if he wasn’t even going to cum tonight, he might give up then and there.

Thankfully, Taehyung seemed to understand him completely. “Of course, bun. I’m not going to go back on my word. I’ll let you cum later,” the older confirmed.

With the reassurance, Jungkook decided that no matter how hard the rest of the day was to get through, he wouldn’t use his safewords. He knew that it might be hard, but the reward he would get at the end of the night would be more than worth the teasing.

Stage rehearsal definitely pushed his limits a bit, however.

It was a long day. Between the constant pausing of rehearsal to fix something and Taehyung’s trigger finger of sorts on the remote, the four-hour time frame allotted to their rehearsal seemed to move at a snail’s pace.

At some point, Jimin put the pieces together and realized exactly what was going on. “You kinky bastards,” he said to them with a knowing smirk when he had a moment alone close to them.

Thankfully, the others seemed to have chalked the maknae’s strange behavior up to excitement about his birthday, even though Jungkook had never really been super hyper about turning a year older before.

During a brief break in stage rehearsal, Taehyung turned the vibrator’s power up to the highest level.

Jungkook’s eyes threatened to roll into the back of his head as a flash of heated arousal went through him, and his knees felt weak where they barely held him up. He had to grip on to the nearest object so he wouldn’t fall - that object just happened to be Seokjin.

His oldest hyung looked at him exasperatedly, “What is up with you today, huh?”

“‘M just tired now, hyung,” Jungkook replied, his words already beginning to slur. At least he could write it off as being exhausted.

“See, this is what happens when you get hyper and hop around all day like a fucking rabbit,” Jin shook his head, but even in his haze, the maknae could tell it was fond. “Don’t fall asleep yet, I’m planning to make your favorite dinner tonight.”

Jungkook perked up at that, almost able to ignore the vibrator practically massaging his prostate. “Lamb skewers?” he asked cutely.

Jin nodded with a little chuckle, “Yeah, so you’ve gotta stay awake, alright?” he booped the younger’s nose affectionately.

Jungkook nodded furiously and continued stage rehearsal with renewed determination. Now, not only would he get rewarded with whatever Taehyung had planned, but he also had Seokjin’s homey cooking to look forward to.

Tae grinned from off to the side when he met the maknae’s eyes, his expression spelling trouble.

The younger didn’t realize that dinner with all the hyungs meant another hour of torture until he was seated at the dinner table with mouth-watering lamb skewers and kimchi rice set in front of him.

Taehyung chose that moment to turn constant vibrating of the vibrator to a pulsing buzz.

This always affected Jungkook more than just the constant vibrations, because he had momentary relief that was taken away with a harsh motion against his prostate. He felt drops of sweat trailing down the back of his neck as he tried his best to keep his breathing under control. He felt like he’d run a marathon and it was still early in the evening - they hadn’t even reached the climax yet (pun intended).

Jungkook decided that the best plan of action was to stuff his face with dinner at an inhuman rate. The faster he ate, the faster he could get his reward. It was a little odd, but he moaned at the combination of the taste of the juicy lamb pieces in his mouth and the stimulation in his ass.

He looked up from his plate and saw that the others were looking at him with their eyebrows raised. Belatedly, he realized that he really was stuffing his face at an alarming rate.

The maknae blushed and stuttered out, “It’s really good, Jin-hyung! I’m so hungry.”

Jin seemed placated, his chest puffing out with clear pride. “I’m glad you like it, I worked hard on it just for you.”

Jungkook nodded and felt a bit bad that he wasn’t enjoying the oldest’s homemade dinner to the fullest. But it wasn’t like it was his fault - Taehyung was the one with the remote control to the vibrator after all.

Just as the maknae lifted a skewer to take another bite of the meat, Taehyung, who was conveniently seated next to him, sneakily reached his hand between Jungkook’s back and the chair. He slipped the wandering hand over the younger’s ass, into the back of his jeans, and pushed at the base of the vibrator. This forced the object further into Jungkook’s ass, the vibrator pressing and massaging his prostate more harshly now.

The younger couldn’t hold back a low moan at the sensation, but thankfully it seemed the hyung’s were too involved in their conversations to notice (except Jimin, who just wiggled his eyebrows suggestively in the maknae’s direction). Jungkook gripped at his own jean-clad thighs for something to hold onto. His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head as his hips involuntarily bucked forwards. The coil sitting low in his gut was tightening and tightening until he was teetering on the edge of his orgasm.

Reluctantly, Jungkook leaned over to say quickly into Taehyung’s ear, “Hyungie, it’s too much. Gonna come.”

Taehyung turned to him with a look of pride. He understood how difficult it was for Jungkook to tell him about his approaching orgasms when the younger knew that his hyung would deny him of them when he did. And yet, without fail, Jungkook told him every time.

“Good boy for telling me,” Taehyung released the pressure on the base of the vibrator and moved his hand up to rub soothingly at the bottom of the younger’s back, just under his t-shirt. “Just wait a bit longer, love, and then you’ll get your birthday present.”

Jungkook shivered at the implications in those words and the teasing little bite his hyung gave to his earlobe.

After a grueling thirty-minutes more of torture, Taehyung finally excused the two of them from the table.

“I think Kookie and I are going to head to bed, hyungs,” he stated with a casual smile, “Thanks for the dinner!”

Jungkook tried his best not to appear too eager at the prospect of the long day finally coming to an end. “Y-Yes, thanks, hyung!” he agreed.

“Of course, the boyfriends need their time alone,” Jimin drawled teasingly, a grin on his face reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat. “Don’t have too much fun, okay?”

The maknae was surely blushing harshly by now, but thankfully Taehyung was pulling them out of the room before he could hear his other hyungs’ responses to Jimin’s comment.

“Goodnight!” the second youngest shouted over his shoulder.

“Happy birthday, Kookie!” Hoseok hollered after him.

“Thanks!” Jungkook just barely managed out.

The second the bedroom door closed behind the maknae, his knees gave out beneath him.

Taehyung was there to catch him and pull him against his own lean body. “Did so good, baby,” he crooned, causing the maknae to fall deeper into his impending headspace. “Did everything hyung wanted today without any complaining.”

Jungkook whimpered, arms weakly coming up to wrap around the older’s neck. “Hyungie, please. N-Need to come. Please let me come.”

“Not yet,” his hyung ordered firmly, “Hyung wants to worship you a bit more tonight.”

The maknae was guided over to the bed and laid down on the soft covers with sure hands. Jungkook didn’t find it difficult to hand over complete control to the older, on the contrary, it always felt amazing to be taken care of like this. And he knew his hyung could never - would never - fail to do so properly.

Pulled into a deep, sensual kiss, Jungkook relaxed into the feeling of his hyung’s lips on his own. Taehyung was a master with his mouth - the maknae swore it - and always knew just how to move his mouth to take Jungkook apart slowly, piece by piece.

The older held his chin firmly with one hand, the action matching the dominating motions of his lips. He nibbled at the younger’s plush lower lip momentarily before he slipped his tongue into Jungkook’s welcoming mouth.

Jungkook whimpered lowly as the small fire in the pit of his stomach grew into a forest fire just from his hyung’s lips alone.

Taehyung proceeded to strip the younger with practiced movements, taking the time to press kisses to every expanse of newly exposed skin. First, his shirt was lifted off of his body and the older left his lips. Taehyung trailed his lips down the maknae’s neck, sucking hickeys in a haphazard pattern across his chest.

Taehyung sunk his teeth into the meat of Jungkook’s bicep, letting his fingernails scrape across the maknae’s abs at the same time, leaving pleasurably stinging trails of red in his wake.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy, baby,” the older nearly growled as he admired the indents of his own teeth marking Jungkook’s skin. “Love your muscles so much.”

The maknae’s head was spinning with too much arousal for him to even think of forming a proper sentence anymore. He just kept babbling his hyung’s name over and over again, not really sure what he was asking for, or if he was even asking for anything at all.

Taehyung unbuttoned and unzipped the younger’s dark-wash jeans and removed the tight material from his legs with surprising ease, his boxers taken off along with them. The older’s gaze was burning as he took in the sight of his boyfriend splayed so lewdly out beneath him.

“And your fucking thighs,” Taehyung continued, grabbing two handfuls of said thighs. They were corded with muscles, a clear result of the younger’s rigorous workout routine. “Hyung’s sexy bunny.”

Jungkook’s own cock sat uselessly against his stomach, hard and a dark red. The older forcefully pushed his legs apart and bent them at the knee, allowing the makae’s vibrator-stuffed hole to be completely exposed to him. “I love that you’re stronger than me and yet you let me take charge like this. I love that you trust me to take care of you.”

Taehyung grabbed the base of the vibrator and pulled it out a few inches.

Jungkook let out a sigh of relief at the pressure finally, finally being taken off of his prostate. He yelped out in shock a few moments later, however, when his hyung started thrusting the still turned-on object in and out of his fluttering hole.

“F-Fuck, oh god, hyung...” Jungkook whined out mindlessly, “Need your cock. Please, please, please. Want hyungie’s cock.”

He just knew that Taehyung’s dick would fill him better than the vibrator was, that it would be able to hit his prostate with such force that he would see stars. Jungkook wanted that so badly he felt a little insane. Trust his hyung to make him feel crazy in the head in the best of ways.

Taehyung hummed and slowed his movements, eventually pulling the torturous vibrator completely out and tossing it aside after turning it off. “Want my dick to fuck you open, bunny? Want to feel me all the way in your stomach?”

Jungkook moaned out loudly at the thought, “Y-Yes, please. Please, I’ll do anything. Kookie will do anything.”

The switch to speaking in third-person was a clear indicator that Jungkook was deep in the throes of subspace. Taehyung knew it was important to take special care of his baby when he was so far gone, and he had no problem with that whatsoever. Spoiling the younger with love and attention was one of the things he did best.

Taehyung sat up and began stripping himself of his clothes, enjoying the awed look the maknae was giving him as he did so. Even though they’d seen each other naked countless times, his hyung’s built figure always made Jungkook’s mouth water.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he finally replied, reaching over to the bedside table, where the lube he’d used this morning was still sitting. Taehyung spread a good layer of it over his aching cock, the first touch he’d given to it all day.

Taehyung moved back between the maknae’s legs and lined up his dick to the younger’s entrance.

Jungkook squirmed in anticipation when the thick head slipped past his rim. “D-Daddy!”

The older knew that the maknae was stretched out thoroughly, so he pushed his cock into Jungkook’s hole until he was buried to the hilt.

Jungkook felt like he was on cloud nine. He felt so amazingly full with his hyung so deeply inside him like this. He wanted to stay like this forever.

After a few moments given to adjust to the older’s rather large size, Taehyung began thrusting at a generous pace. Jungkook’s hands grappled uselessly at his hyung’s bare shoulders, overwhelmed by the absolute pleasure he was feeling.

Taehyung himself was having a difficult time fighting his own arousal. He’d planned to drag this out a bit longer, but even he couldn’t deny that he was becoming desperate. Teasing the maknae throughout the day and seeing that familiar glazed-over look in his eyes affected him more than he showed visibly.

The older leaned down and kissed Jungkook’s parted lips sweetly, contrasting with the harsh movements of his hips. Moans were slipping unashamedly from the maknae’s throat now, as he got closer and closer to cumming once more. He could only pray that Taehyung was going to let him cum this time.

“God, you feel so fucking tight around my cock, bunny,” Taehyung groaned against his lips, “So good.”

Jungkook whimpered helplessly, “T-Too much, Daddy. K-Kookie needs...needs...”

On any other day, Taehyung might have teased the maknae for not being able to speak properly - play into both of their degradation kinks - but he figured Jungkook had suffered enough for the day. And he’d been so good for him, too.

When he told the maknae as much, Jungkook preened, basking in the praise that pulled the coil in his gut tighter. The maknae felt like he was in the middle of a blazing fire, but instead of pain, he was only feeling overwhelming pleasure.

“You close, baby?” Taehyung asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Y-Yeah, Daddy. Kookie’s close,” the younger panted, eyes half-closed in his pleasure.

Taehyung hummed. Without any warning, the older wrapped a strong arm around the maknae’s back and pulled him close, keeping them together as he maneuvered around on the bed. He settled himself up against the headboard, Jungkook comfortably seated on his dick in his lap.

The new angle caused Taehyung’s cock to hit the younger’s prostate more directly with each thrust, sending Jungkook’s eyes rolling back in his head. The maknae made a high-pitched whining noise as he leaned his forehead on his hyung’s wide shoulder for support.

“Ah! D-Daddy, please!”

Without responding, Taehyung continued to abuse the younger’s prostate with his cock, causing the maknae to become lost in the blurry haze of his high.

Jungkook wanted to cum so badly, but he knew that he couldn’t without explicit permission from his hyung. His neglected cock bobbed against his stomach, and he gasped when Taehyung gripped it easily in his one of his large hands.

It only took a few pumps for Jungkook’s breathing to come even faster than before. “Hhngg - Daddy...please! Please!” the maknae was fucking desperate at that point, begging for release.

Taehyung’s own pace began faltering, a groan tearing its way out of his throat, “Alright, baby, cum for Daddy now.”

Those words were like a trigger - the second they were said, Jungkook was cumming, hot ropes spurting from his cock and leaving a mess on his stomach. The maknae screamed with his orgasm, his mind floating far away as he rode out his high.

Taehyung only needed to thrust into the younger a few more times before he himself was cumming with a grunt, filling the maknae up with his seed. His hand rubbed over the slight rise in Jungkook’s lower abdomen, where he was bloated with Taehyung’s release, and hummed in approval.

Jungkook floated in and out of reality as his hyung cleaned the two of them up and then proceeded to tuck the two of them under the covers. When he finally came back to himself, he realized that his head was resting against the older’s warm chest and Taehyung’s hand was rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin of his back.

The maknae felt sated, relaxed in a way that he could only achieve by cumming after a long period of denial at the hands of his boyfriend. He sighed out contently and snuggled further into his hyung’s chest.

“You back with me, bunny?” Taehyung’s deep baritone questioned.

Jungkook hummed, his eyes fluttering closed as he basked in the calm and warmth and safety he felt.

Taehyung tilted the younger’s head up and planted a sweet kiss on his lips, “Happy birthday, baby.”

The maknae chuckled a bit tiredly, slowly slipping out of the haze of subspace. “Happy fucking birthday to me.”

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A/N: I wrote this in a rush because I wanted to post it before Jungkook’s birthday was over (going be PST) so I know it’s not my best work.

I hope at least that you enjoyed it anyway :)

I will be posting another littlespace drabble on Tuesday!

#bts #bts drabble #bts fanfic #bts drabbles #bts fanfics #bts fanfiction #bts jungkook #bts taehyung #bts v #jeon jungkook #kim taehyung #bts taekook #bts vkook #taekook #vkook

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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reddielibrary · 5 years

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Just Whispers

Prompt: Eddie and Richie sleeping in a tent with the Losers. They’re in a tent with Bev and Stan. Eddie can’t sleep and wants to get in with Richie.

Written by: Ashley | @stephenskings

Word Count: 2578

Eddie pulled on the sleeves of the sweater he’d stolen from Mike before the Losers had all sat down to set up the fire. He had some fruit mixed-vodka drink in a glass bottle that Ben had sworn he would like pressed between his knees, unsipped and rapidly warming. This camping trip had been months in the working, everybody agreeing that it was of the utmost importance that they knock off their last summer as residents of Derry with a bang. They'd started getting everything together back in June, knowing it would likely take Eddie at least two months to get his mother to consent to the trip.

There was no way in hell that Eddie would have let himself have missed it. No matter how many fights it had spiked with Sonia, he’d known without anybody saying a single word that this would be the last time the Losers Club would all be together for months. Richie would be leaving for LA just two days after the trip was over, and everybody else would leave in rapid success after that. There was a thick, bitter tension in the air around them that seemed to promise that this would be the last time they’d all be together like this. Ever.

Richie Tozier was sitting on the ground, leaning backwards against Bev’s legs while talking animatedly with his hands. “I swear to God, William, if you don’t tell me a good ass scary story right the fuck now,” he was saying as Eddie tuned back into the conversation. “I will end my shit right here. Don’t fucking test me, bitch.”

Bill rolled his eyes, though his cheeks were glowing under the attention even in the dim light from the fire. Eddie had always thought of himself as Bill’s best friend- and this was a belief that been confirmed verbally to him on many occasions over the years- but there had always been some sort of deep bond between Bill Denbrough and Richie Tozier that Eddie was a little bit envious of. A connection that Eddie had always wanted to be part of, but had never been able to truly touch. The last two years or so, however, had brought Eddie and Richie closer together than Eddie had ever imagined they could be. The two boys had always had an interesting relationship, one of teasing and flirtations, and Eddie pretending to find Richie much more annoying than he actually did. They’d been friends, good friends, with a friendship that was always easy. Low maintenance, without expectations or regulations. Easy breezy friends who enjoyed one another’s company, but always traced their friendships back to only being friends in the first place because they ran in the same circle. That was until sophomore year, when simply being the last two awake at sleepovers had brought out a certain confidence in Richie that lead to whispers of fears he didn’t believe he could tell anybody but a half-asleep Eddie Kaspbrak.

Whispers of I think I might like both, and do you think that’s allowed? and Eds, am I a freak? Eddie always believed it was because if Eddie had turned away from him in disgust, that Richie would’ve been able to square his shoulders and carry on in a way he wouldn’t if it were Bill or Bev that turned away from him. Whether the beliefs rang true or not, they had built up Eddie’s courage to whisper back in junior year.

I know that I don’t like both. I just like boys. I’m gay. Those whispers were what changed, brought Eddie and Richie onto more common ground. Onto a level of understanding, bringing out their own connection that they didn’t know that they could have. Senior year had only strengthened their relationship, brought them closer, and suddenly Eddie felt he spend nearly all of his free time with Richie Tozier. Talking about everything, while somehow constantly avoiding talking about that one real truth that hung above their heads. While they hadn’t vocalized these thoughts and feelings as louder than whispers to each other, Eddie saw the way Bev looked at them or the way Mike smiled while Richie teased him, and he wondered if maybe they know anyway.

It wasn’t to say that Eddie and Richie were together, not in a world like this… in a town like theirs. Not with Richie packing up and moving across the country for school while Eddie had to stay behind in Maine. So, no, Eddie and Richie were not together. They had barely even grazed hands outside of a platonic environment in longer than Eddie could remember. Even the childhood cheek kisses and pinches and flirting had stopped. Outside of “Eds” and the very occasional “Eddie Spaghetti”, Richie had even cut off most nicknames within the last few months. While Eddie did silently mourn them, he knew what the actions meant; putting that strong platonic edge on their friendship was Richie’s way of letting Eddie know the truth. Letting Eddie know that he felt the something more between them, too. There was a chance he and Richie could never be together, but Eddie could have that little soft bubble in his chest knowing they both felt it.

Eddie interrupted the story that Bill was telling about some sort of murderous clown, with a deep sigh. All eyes around the fire turned to look at him, Richie in particular jerking to attention. A soft expression came across Richie’s face, one meant for nights when only the two of them were left awake or when Richie sneaked into his bedroom window with red-tinged eyes. Not for sitting in front of a fire where all their friends could see him.

Richie seemed to realize the same thing as Eddie, quickly turning his worried frown into a Cheshire grin. “You tired over there, Eds? Sorry if we kept you up last night. Your mom was even louder than usual, she was just beside herself with how much she was gonna miss me this weekend.”

Eddie mocked vomiting. “Beep fucking beep, Trashmouth.”

Richie’s grin dimmed into something a little more genuine. One particular conversation at the beginning of senior year- one that may have involved a little too much alcohol- had revealed just how much Richie craved the childhood nickname. The use of the name Trashmouth, very similar to that of Bills stutter and Beverly’s love for black lipstick, had been grown out of around their first year of high school and nobody had never really given any thought to Richie possibly missing what was actually a somewhat mean name. A drunk Richie resting in Eddie’s lap after their friends had finally drifted off to sleep had told Eddie that exactly that, however.

It was a nickname, you know? I give everybody nicknames, y’know, cuz I love you guys. And Trashmouth was mine, cuz like.. Richie isn’t a real nickname. Trashmouth was my real nickname. But nobody uses it anymore. After that, Eddie had tried to find a way to wiggle the nickname in as much as possible, without getting weird and suspicious about it. It was worth it to see how Richie brightened every time he heard it.

“Sorry, Billy, I’m sure your demon clown story is great,” Eddie said, faking a yawn behind his hand. “But I’m fading fast over here. I think I’m going to head in. God knows I’ll be waking up with the sun.”

“Goodnight, Eddie,” Bill called cheerfully after him. Wrapping his arms tightly around himself, Eddie unzipped and ducked into the tent he was going to be sharing with Bev and Stan this weekend. He smiled slightly to himself, remembering the stink Stan had put up when they told him he’d be sharing with Richie, while everybody had known that neither boy would have wanted it any other way.

Hoping he was being subtle, Eddie rearranged the sleeping bags so that his was next to Richie’s and crawled in. Wrapping the terribly textured, loosely named “blanket” around him, Eddie forced his eyes shut and prayed that the sad, sickly feeling in his stomach was going to go away.

They were walking down a dark hallway, the dim sounds of Bill and Bev talking from a distance that could be a different world. Richie was by Eddie’s side, surprisingly quiet, with their arms brushing as they walked. Something about the hallway seemed dimly familiar as though he’d been here before, but Eddie felt so hauntingly lost that it must have been another life.

“How’s this, Eds?” Richie said, voice basically a whisper in the echoing halls. Richie was close, yet his voice was so far away. Eddie could feel Richie touching him, but his voice still rang out through the hallway as though Richie couldn’t be anywhere near him. “Last time we let Big Bill choose our living arrangements.”

“We’re living here?” Eddie asked, looking around at the rotting walls and all the empty rooms they were walking past. Richie raised one brow at Eddie and chuckled, laugh bouncing off the walls and coming back- sounding almost terrifying and clown like.

“Yeah, Eds, pay attention much?”

Eddie frowned, looking around. He and Richie walked into the room sitting at the end of the hallway. On the floor was a singular, dirty mattress. It looked as though it were coated in black goo, goo that had dripped down onto the floor. Eddie wrinkled his nose in disgust, shuddering as he followed Richie into the room. Richie tossed down a backpack that Eddie could have sworn he wasn’t carried moments before, onto the ground and turned to Eddie with a grin.

“This is our room,” Richie announced excitedly. Eddie looked around and started shaking his head.

“This house is so big,” Eddie said slowly. “Why are we sharing a room, exactly?”

Richie’s face dropped in disappointment, glancing down at the bed and his bag of belongings. “I… Eds…” He looked worried for a moment, but something at corner of the room caught Eddie’s attention. Heart jumping, he watched as some sort of creature that Eddie could describe as a clown, though the dripping black goo from his mouth and the wolf-like claws on its hands promised that it wasn’t any kind of human creature.

“What’s amatter, Eds?” The creature cooed in a high, attractive voice that made Eddie’s skin crawl. “Why don’t you tell Richie why you won’t share a bed with him? Tell him the truth, Eds. Eddie Spaghetti. Tell him.”

Eddie swallowed roughly, body trembling. Richie’s mouth was moving in front of his face, but the words were coming towards him as though he was deep under water while the creature’s words made it to Eddie’s ears while he wanted nothing to do with them.

“If you don’t want to tell him, maybe I should.” One of the wolf clawed hands came forward, wrapping around Richie’s throat. Eddie’s best friend didn’t seem to take notice of the hand around him, still calling out for Eddie’s attention. Eddie couldn’t respond to Richie, couldn’t bring himself to speak at all. Fear was deep inside Eddie’s blood stream, cooling it until it may very well have been frozen.

“If you won’t’ tell him, I’ll take care of ya,” the creature whispered to him, face pressing against Richie’s own. “I’ll blow you a dime… I’ll blow ya for free. We just need to get your little Trashmouth out of the way, if you don’t want him.”

Eddie opened his mouth, but could only bring out a small, choked noise. The creature’s face broke into a deep smirk, his claws beginning to dig into Richie’s throat. Blood started to drip from the edges of Richie’s throat, down, down towards his shirt. Eddie swallowed roughly, eyes watching the blood and unable to focus on anything else.

“Do you want him, Eds?” The creature hissed. “Can you tell him? Tell him, Eds, or you’ll lose him.”

Eddie let out a deep whine, and creatures hand jerked away. It brought out a deep flow of crimson that sent Richie dropping to the ground without a sound. Eddie cried out, the creature fading away with a chilling laugh. Eddie crawled across the floor, clasping his hands over Richie’s neck. There was a thick flow of blood coming from somewhere, but Eddie couldn’t find any source of bleeding.

“Eds….” Richie choked out, voice sounding more like gurgle than any words. “Eddie… I love you, Eddie. I love you.”

Eddie sobbed, pressing down on Richie’s throat as though he could put pressure on a non-existent wound as save Richie’s life. “It’s okay,” he whispered wetly. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“Eddie… Eddie…. Eddie!”

Eddie jerked awake with a loud gasp, breath laboured as he was about to launch into a asthma attack. Richie’s face was before his, worried and vulnerable but free of any blood. Eddie exhaled hard, pressing a hand over his mouth as tears came into his eyes. “Richie…”

“Are you okay?” Richie whispered, reaching out and rubbing Eddie’s arm. “You were making all kind of noises, and not the sexy kind. Bad dream?”

“I…” Eddie breathed out. “Demon clown… I think.”

“Bill and his fucking stories,” Richie snickered. “I woke you because you seemed about five seconds away from screaming and waking up everybody in this stupid site. You know how Stanley gets if somebody wakes him up, I was saving your life.”

I was saving your life… Eddie’s heart clenched and he reached out for Richie. “Can I…” He hesitated, looking at Richie and his stupidly open expression. It was so like the Richie in his dream, the Richie who didn’t have a problem with them sharing a room. A Richie who loved him. “Can I get in with you? I don’t…”

Richie smiled and unzipped the side of his sleeping bag, Eddie nearly jumping out of his and into Richie’s. It was almost amazing how easily their bodies came together, Eddie’s leg slid between Richie’s and Richie’s arms came around Eddie’s mid-section. Eddie pressed his face against Richie’s neck, trying to force away the images of blood, and breathed in Richie’s scent.

“It killed you,” Eddie said softly, letting his arms reach up and squeeze at Richie’s shoulder blades. “You were bleeding, dying, and I couldn’t even tell you that I love you.”

Richie went stiff around Eddie for a second, and Eddie’s gut tensed with the realization of what his fearful and half-awake state had caused him to confess. Richie melted into Eddie’s touch after just a moment though, holding him tighter and pressing a lingering kiss to the top of his head.

“Get some sleep, Eds,” Richie said. “Tomorrow… tomorrow will come and maybe, maybe you’ll be able to say things you want to say. Things that we probably shouldn’t be saying tonight, with no sleep.”

“Are there things you want to say, Richie?” Eddie asked him lightly, his thumb rubbing at Richie’s shoulder blades. He could feel Richie’s breathing and it was slowly, but surely, drawing Eddie back into sleep.

“I would ask you to come to California with me,” Richie said in a hushed whisper. “Say that you shouldn’t stay with your mother, and you should come with me even if you’re not going to school. That I don’t want to leave you here with her. But I… I shouldn’t say that stuff.”

“Well,” Eddie said sleepily. “If you ever did say that stuff… I’d say yes.” Eddie feel asleep before he could hear if Richie responded.

#reddie #reddielibrary #writing team #prompt fill #stephenskings

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cockbiteproductions · 5 years

Photo

Hi, this was the most amazing weekend of my life, so I’m gonna make a continuation of this post. Click on the photos for captions.

Me screaming about everything is going to be under the cut. And it’s going to be VERY long. I have a lot of words and I’m going to say a fraction of them, but in case you don’t want to read all that (because this post is honestly 99% for me) here’s a TLDR:

I met Jess (@noneeyewithleftyork) for the second time and hung out with her and Kt (@seelieflies) in New York for the first time and saw The Prom, Be More Chill, and Hamilton and cried uncontrollably and went to NY pride and Felt the Gay energy in the air and walked around the city and rode the train and took a million pictures and got blisters on my feet and ate some amazing food and slept a ridiculously small amount and took everything in and did fun things with fun people and had the time of my life and it can literally only go downhill from here!

Had 3 WILDLY different experiences seeing these shows since my experience with these shows were all different. The common thread between all of them was that I had a FUCKING BLAST.

The Prom

Saw The Prom on the Saturday matinee of pride weekend and the audience was AMAZING. Everyone in the audience was here and queer and LOVING it.

It was cold as SHIT in the theater and I was freezing my ass off the entire time but it was still so fun.

I have never seen or heard any music from The Prom and only knew a vague synopsis of it going in (girl wants to bring gf to prom with her, can’t), so my reactions to everything in the show was a lot of genuine first reactions to the material. The Prom was funny as FUCK and the audience was laughing and clapping and cheering along.

The dance numbers were incredible and I loved the choreography a lot. Caitlin Kinnunen can SING, holy shit. Like absolutely WOW. Just WOW. She was amazing.

I cried at the end of act 1 from how fucking mean spirited those students were and how the meaning of “tonight belongs to us” changed and it was just so brilliant. And the staging of the two proms on the each half of the stage with the different lighting and the two girls back to back was fucking BEAUTIFUL and part of the reason I started crying too.

I cried also at the end of the show when they kissed because it was so sweet. I cried when Alyssa’s mom told her she just didn’t want her life to be hard. The actress who played Alyssa’s mom did SO well that for a Brief Moment, I felt sympathy for her. It was very brief but it happened.

Be More Chill

Saw Be More Chill on the Saturday night show and it was so fucking cool. I saw Will Roland with my own two eyes. Like wow. Wow!!!

The seats in the Lyceum balcony were slanted as FUCK it was almost funny. And because we had been so cold during The Prom, between shows we went and all literally bought jackets/something to wear to keep us warm during BMC but BMC was not more chill. In fact, it was hot as Satan’s anus. We melted to death but we still had fun.

A lot of the time I laughed in BMC was because of how actors delivered certain lines different from how I had heard them in the soundtrack/off broadway boot I’ve seen. Being familiar with the show made this experience really different from The Prom, but also I’ve only know about BMC’s existence for a bit over a month and only really gotten into it in the past few weeks, so the show hasn’t really really sunk in with me yet, which is probably why I had such a muted emotional reaction to it. It was definitely amazing but I didn’t cry nearly as much as I thought I would.

I also cried during Voices In My Head when they kissed and during the na nas when they do the wave over their head. I just love that one very specific bit of choreo.

Though the night before I went up to LA, I was in call with @noneeyewithleftyork and @seelieflies and Jess was talking about places we could visit in NY, and she mentioned the M&M store. I said to myself under my breath “but Eminem is dead!” and laughed because of how dumb the joke was. She wanted to know what I was laughing at and I told her I’d tell her after we saw BMC and so then the entire day when we kept walking past the M&M store, I was hyping up the joke/talking about it.

By the time the show came around, we had talked about the stupid fucking M&M/Eminem thing like maybe 10 times since I initially made the joke so it was really hyped up. And then the Squip goes “buy that shirt” and Jeremy hold up the shirt and I’m already looking at them for their reactions and they turn to me and I laughed to the point it hurt. It was a lot of “are you kidding me? Is this it??????” looks and it was just the funniest fucking thing to me.

And then the second Eminem scene happened and I laughed EVEN HARDER than I did before. They were also losing it next to me and turned to look at me and I was nodding and laughing and had tears in my eyes from how hard I was laughing and it was just magical and so incredibly stupid. The “did you kill Eminem” line was particularly funny.

@noneeyewithleftyork in the M&M store before we saw the show.

Cried a little bit during Loser, Geek, Whatever. Because you know. It’s lgw. I’m going to NOT cry, watching wrol sing his heart out on stage. He held that last note for like 7.5 measures and it was impressive as SHIT especially considering he’s been on stage for like an hour and this is the end of a six minute solo number. Fucking incredible.

Will Roland’s delivery in the first bit of the show is incredible. It’s so LOUD and shouty and awkward. His speech is very halting and rushed. It sounds like Jeremy is taking a leap every time he chooses to say something and he always says it at the very last moment as if he deliberates over it for a long time. And then the transition from his character pre-Squip is incredible. Also he sounds even more nasally in person if that’s possible. I’ll post more about the performance later on my sideblog.

Hamilton

And then I saw the Sunday matinee performance of Hamilton. Holy FUCK, I saw Hamilton. The bottom row of pictures is every time I started crying/felt a fresh wave of tears come. It was 66 times. I had to keep taking off/putting back on my glasses because of my tears. Highlights of times I cried/times I full on sobbed include:

Crying around ~4 times because the guy playing Hamilton was asian (and he was SO insanely good)

Crying at the line “everyone shall sit under their own vine and fig tree” just because I know how much @noneeyewithleftyork loves that line

Before the show started started, I was just staring at my playbill and I started crying very subtly because I didn’t want the people next to me to see that I was crying before it even began.

I cried so hard leading up to/during Wait For It that by the end my arms had gone numb and I was almost hyperventilating.

Sobbing at the second time the first verse of Hurricane is repeated and the lights go blue/purple and the entire company FREEZES as if they were caught in the eye of a hurricane and it was fucking beautiful.

Full sobbing during best of wives and best of women the MOMENT the violin starts to play because again it was so fucking beautiful and I knew what was about to come.

Full on sobbing during intermission and after the show.

As soon as lights went down at intermission I was bawling. I talked to the people beside me about how I became good friends with @noneeyewithleftyork and @seelieflies years ago because of Hamilton and now we’re all seeing it together. Then went to talk to Jess and Kt and cried at them for a bit. Pulled myself together for the beginning of act 2.

Then as soon as the lights went down at the end of the show I started bawling AGAIN and the woman beside me pulled me into a hug as I sobbed.

And then I ran down to tell the conductor (still full on sobbing) and the pit that I love them. Here’s how it went: “hi pit I love you oh my god I love you so much you guys were so good I love you so much.” All while these words were barely comprehensible because I was still crying too hard. I think a pianist waved at me but there were too many tears in my eyes for me to be sure.

Those were the crying highlights. Onto other stuff.

The seat I had was fucking INCREDIBLE. Jess and Kt sat together in the 2nd row because Jess won the lottery and I sat in the 9th row because we had to buy a third ticket but the view was still absolutely AMAZING.

Here’s the view from my seat. I could see the entire stage with minimal movement of my head and it was AMAZING. We had sat super far left in the balcony for The Prom and BMC so sitting in the orchestra was SUCH a cool experience because we could actually see the actors faces instead of just the top of their heads. Jess and Kt sat so close they could SEE the tears on the actors faces.

Similar to BMC, a lot of the laughs I had in Hamilton were from how certain actors delivered the lines different from the soundtrack I was used to hearing. However, they were different people from the ones on the soundtrack unlike BMC, so it really felt like seeing different takes on a character I had already known. I’ve also been a Hamilton fan for over 3 years now. I was WAY more emotional during this show than the other two for that reason I guess. Hamilton’s been with me for a while. And also the subject matter is just sadder.

The guy playing Burr was so fucking GOOD. Like there were a few times I teared up just because of how fucking incredible his vocals were. The guy playing Hamilton was also so indescribably fantastic.

We stagedoored after and I showed some of the actors my cry arm and their reactions to it were great. Got my playbill signed by them too!

Not Broadway Stuff

We didn’t JUST see Broadway shows this weekend, though we did see a show in every possible time slot lol. We did other stuff!

Friday afternoon we went and saw Jess’ cousin’s dance recital which was holy shit. Those kids can DANCE. Like I wasn’t expecting that level of performance from them for some reason and I was blown away. The people behind us were very very very angry that Jess was Loud and being Jess, but then they left so who cares.

Saturday morning we got up super early and took the train into the city. On the train ride there Jess got an email that said she WON THE FUCKING HAMILTON LOTTERY. And we all just sat there in shock. When we got to the city, we just walked around and I took pictures of a bunch of theaters. We passed by the M&M store many times. We basically walked down the same like 5 streets a bunch of times and then we ran around like idiots trying to get tickets to the matinee show of The Prom, which we eventually did. We paid an astronomical amount of money to buy a third ticket for Hamilton. We went to a melt shop and they spelled my name in an incredible way.

Look at that. “trese-”

Fucking amazing. I had no idea there was a dash in my name but I guess there is now. Or actually, according to a girl we met on the subway, my name is Katrina. We just randomly started talking to some people we met in the subway station and continued talking as we packed like gay sardines into the subway to go to the pride festival. It was an Experience.

I also saw this fan at pride and had to take a picture. I don’t take normal tourist pictures according to Jess. Which is true. I just take pictures of dumb shit that makes me laugh.

And on that lovely note, it’s time to wrap up this post. I’m not kidding when I say this has probably been the best weekend of my life. But also I have memory problems so who knows what other weekends I’ve forgotten. But hey! That’s what this post and photos are for! To remember all this shit. This has been something incredible and I hope I get to go back soon because NY is honestly an amazing city and I love the energy of it so much.

To steal a line from BMC, everything about this weekend was so wonderful.

#teresa talks #not rt #friend tag

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i-am-the-entertainer · 5 years

Text

A Mid-Volume RevieWBY

Let’s be honest. Most of us were holding our breath for the entire hiatus: we’ve been burned before by this show.

RWBY has always been a show with potential, but has been unable to get as big as it wants to be just due to the nature of how it’s made. Rooster Teeth is still an independent production studio, they can only put out so many episodes a year, and for the past two volumes it was just two guys writing basically everything.

It’s also worth pointing out that RWBY wasn’t originally a masterpiece on its own. What made it stand out was a) the fact that the mostly comedy-driven Rooster Teeth was making an original IP and b) the fights. People jumped onto this show because even if the animation quality was subpar, the vocal performances were all over the place, and the writing was slow as hell, there was charm to it, and part of that charm was watching the show gradually improve.

Which is why everything started to feel stagnant when the show stopped improving. Sure, they upgraded to a more professional-looking animation engine, they started hiring more professional voice actors and the original cast’s performances improved with experience, but with the loss of the series’ creator, visionary, and key animator, the ability to have epic fights was lost, as was a major guiding force for where the show could go. Couple that with key missteps in major storytelling in Volume 4 and 5 (including storylines that were just completely dropped or failed to receive any focus) and wildly inconsistent fight quality from chapter to chapter, the show was getting so many things wrong. Yeah, some of the criticism was just unnecessarily toxic, and I recognize the CRWBY’s discomfort at the level of hate they were getting (no one’s forcing you to watch the show, people), but seriously, it got to the point that even some of the show’s more positive fans were calling RWBY out for its problems. These issues were finally acknowledged by the team in a Reddit AMA following the Volume 5 finale, and they promised they would try to fix them. Miles himself posted this:

A couple of us went into this Volume with cautious optimism. While Volume 5 had been a disappointment, some of the new guiding philosophies they were claiming to use to fix RWBY for the next Volume had been used surprisingly successfully for Nomad of Nowhere. Everyone thought that show was going to be another cancelled-after-one-season failure for RT Animations, but surprisingly it turned out to be one of their best shows. If they could create another entirely new world and actually do some really good storytelling, maybe there was hope for RWBY.

If you saw the Volume 6 premiere in theaters like me, you may have watched with baited breath. They felt the need to screen the last hour of Volume 5 first, which just served as a reminder of how disappointing the overall product had been. Then they showed a behind the scenes video where the CRWBY discussed changes to the pipeline: a new co-director for the series, an actual writing team to assist Miles and Kerry, the animators being given more control on certain scenes, etc. etc. Overall, suggesting “We heard you and we’re going to try to improve.”

And then the first episode was shown. And honestly? It was pretty good. Good balance of humor and action while starting up some of the major storylines of the season. The fight scenes were well-choreographed, they’d clearly spent a lot of time working on the episode, they even had time to add little details and quirks to the character. It’s probably one of the best premieres of the entire show: it felt like it was doing a better job of marking a new era for the show than the Volume 4 premiere had been trying to do.

So, let’s assess how things have gone, at least so far.

Focus

This has been the biggest improvement for the show. The big problem in Volume 4 and 5 was having the team split up and attempting to give each their individual focus, while also giving secondary characters basically the same amount of focus, which was waaaay beyond what this kind of show could do. There were simply too many story threads and events going on that made following the show fun to watch––whole storylines would be dropped for several episodes at a time. I mean, the whole reason the Apathy didn’t appear in Volume 4 despite what they’d planned was because there just wasn’t any time to include them. As of now, there are only two major story threads we’ve been concerned with: Team QRWBYOM and Team Melted Ice Cream. A third could be Salem’s faction, but they’ve only had one scene so far: I suspect they’re going to play a more major role in the second half of this volume, though, considering they were waiting for the heroes to reach Argus. A fourth is Adam, but he also has only had one actual scene so far, I wouldn’t be surprised if they pushed him aside for the first half so they could focus on the main characters and he’ll have a bigger role later on.

This renewed focus has allowed us to finally get some proper interaction within the main team, plus actual character development. So, good on that.

Pacing

So much better. Volumes 4 and 5 relied way too much on cliffhangers to get people to come back each episode, instead of relying on a story playing out in single chapters. When I say cliffhangers, I mean cutting off a key story moment in the name of shock or not allowing the episodes to stand on their own. We’ve gotten a lot of episodes with an individual focus where they could potentially stand as an independent episode of the show, even the more arc-like episodes like what happened with Brunswick Farms: "The Coming Storm,” the second episode of that arc, had the Cinder vs. Neo fight that everyone adored and some amazing interactions with Blake and Yang and Weiss and Ruby.

I had a concern that having major revelations/moments in only the first few chapters was going to kill the pacing for the entire volume, and I still kind of have that concern. That said, I am surprised that they’ve kept up the momentum this far into the volume, so I’m cautiously optimistic. With maybe the exception of Chapter 4, each episode had a major story beat that packed a punch the volume needed to keep going.

Tone

This has been another problem for the past two volumes: the show kind of established itself with the anime vibe of visual comedy mixed with legitimate drama, but hasn’t really kept up that momentum volume-to-volume. In the cases of Volumes 4 and 5, they both began with some anime-like humor but failed to use it consistently. These seven chapters, meanwhile, have been pretty consistent in delivering those humorous moments: even Brunswick Farms, the most horror-based arc in the series thus far, has some laugh out loud scenes.

And on that note: the horror elements of the Brunswick Farm arc were really well done. Sure, there was no way anyone was going to die, but that doesn’t really matter (repeat: THAT DOES NOT MATTER, CERTAIN PEOPLE) because a combination of writing, animation, and even sound design made for a couple of episodes that were legitimately terrifying.

Animation

I don’t want to make too many calls on this because I’m not that great at assessing this kind of thing (writing’s more my forte), and @hypeathon writes some really great analyses on the topic, much better than I ever could. But overall I think it’s safe to say the animation quality has really improved. You can really tell with certain episodes that more time was spent to make them look their best, especially Chapter 1, which had these little touches that I wouldn’t have expected at all from the show five years ago. Minus a couple of animation errors here and there, things are looking good. No random teleportation, all the fight scenes we’ve gotten have been sufficiently epic, they’ve been placed at points in the show that satisfy our epic fight cravings, overall, good work. Kind of the payoff to the mention from the premiere documentary that they’re leaving a lot of creative decisions in the hands of the animators, which has overall made a much prettier-looking show.

Character Development

One of the problems of juggling multiple storylines in Volumes 4 and 5 was that we weren’t given a whole lot to work with in terms of character development: a lot of it seemed to just happen offscreen, we weren’t really shown what changed a character from the start of a volume to the end of one. The biggest victims of this problem were the core four, who were often pushed aside in favor of development for side characters. Ruby has been the biggest victim of this problem, with a planned arc about her survivor’s guilt in Volume 4 getting pushed aside to focus on Ren’s story, and only really getting one legit moment of development in Volume 5 in her brief talk with Oscar. Yang’s arc about recovering from the Battle of Beacon was almost non-existent in Volume 4, with only a few drops of it popping up at moments in Volume 5 that didn’t form a cohesive development arc. Blake and Weiss actually had a decent arc, but Weiss wasn’t given a whole lot to do in Volume 5 and then kinda sorta got fridged for an episode or two.

With the characters reunited and a renewed focus on the core team, we’re finally seeing some actual on-screen development. Chapter 5 “The Coming Storm” is the clearest example of that, with the team dealing with the fallout from Jinn’s story in (what appeared to be) a lower-stakes setting. Key moments included Blake and Yang’s interaction, which brought the much-desired angst everyone was waiting for, knowing how betrayed Yang felt when Blake abandoned her at the end of Volume 3. Ruby and Weiss, who were set up from the beginning of the whole show as partners, weren’t really interacting a lot, even when they reunited midway through Volume 5. We get a nice moment of their dynamic while they’re looking for food.

Jaune

Well. That might explain why he’s gone for most of the first half.

(listen rwde, they’re never gonna get rid of him completely. He’s an established character, they can only push him aside for most of the volume, stop chasing your tail and get over it already. If they abruptly killed him I’m sure you’d be celebrating but all of us would be thinking “What...what purpose does that serve to the overall plot?”)

Storytelling

This is probably the best Volume in terms of storytelling. After years of World of Remnants and exposition dumps delivered by characters standing around talking, the philosophy of “Show, don’t tell” finally actually happened on this show. Flashbacks, which didn’t happen much (if at all) before, were finally used, and we ended up with some great material: again, the Grimm Reaper flashback in Chapter 7 continues the volume riding high on good quality fight animation, but also gives us a sense of the world the characters inhabit. More than before, a lot of minor things in this world are implied rather than fed to us, like the danger Silver-Eyed Warriors have to live with, the efforts people will go to to live out normal lives in Grimm-infested territory, etc.

I brought this up earlier, but Chapter 3 “The Lost Fable” was basically to RWBY what “El Rey” was to Nomad of Nowhere: a massive lore-dump that provided some much-needed context to what the heroes were doing, completely changing the stakes of the show up to that point and potentially changing the course of everything for the rest of the season. And we desperately needed that kind of episode, where we were shown instead of told the background of Ozpin and Salem, instead of just blindly thinking “Here’s the good guy and here’s the bad guy.”

And yet if I’m being honest, I can’t say I really liked it. I’m not sure why, maybe I’ve gotten cynical like the rest of the angry commenters on YouTube, it feels a bit like this is happening way too late, like it should not have taken this many years for something like this to be revealed, or there should have been a much better buildup to that reveal. At the same time, I understand that some major events in RWBY’s production (the least of which was the way too large scope of Volume 4 and the biggest of which was the shocking loss of its creator right when the show was about to enter a shift in tone) meant any proper buildup had to be killed in favor of telling cohesive stories volume-to-volume. So yeah, I can’t say I liked that episode individually, but I know the greater purpose it serves to the show so it doesn’t really bother me that much.

Conclusions

I try to be positive with my reviews of RWBY, especially considering how vitriolic reviews of this show can get. That said, this volume’s not perfect. The big criticism I have right now is that this is a show that wants to tell an epic story on a grand scale but can only tell it in fourteen 10-20 minute episodes per season. It doesn’t help that the last two volumes were the attempted execution of that plan, while this one seems to be scaling that back so the show doesn’t lose focus. But that’s just my issue with how the show has tried to established itself in the post-V3 era and how we’re no longer getting that. I think the biggest improvement this show could have would be longer episodes, and I could sacrifice having a volume per year if it meant they could spend more time on the episodes and tell the big story they want to tell. But I know Rooster Teeth can’t function as a production studio while only putting out one volume of RWBY, its flagship show (sorry RvB), every few years. Actually, I suspect that might be the model gen:LOCK is gonna follow, considering the first season alone has taken a year and a half to produce.

At the conclusion of Volume 5 I remarked that even though it was a disappointment, it was an obvious step in the creative direction the show needed to go in. Even if the fight animation was very often subpar and it felt like they were trying to clean things up after Volume 4 got too big to handle, there was a better blend of storytelling and action.

This volume so far has been the payoff. I haven’t felt the urge to seethe through my teeth with disappointment after a single episode this volume: each one was satisfying in its own way, I no longer feel like I have to keep track of 200 different characters and what they’re up to, and I walk away from the fight scenes feeling like something epic actually occurred rather than “Okay, so they punched things defied gravity and that somehow defeated their enemies.”

Yes, there are problems, but the show is showing clear signs of improvement. I think it’s safe to say after seven fairly good episodes that Volume 6 could very well become the best volume of RWBY. Any clear issues with the story and scope for this volume should’ve come up by now, and nothing really comes to mind. As far as I’m concerned, as a serialized TV show RWBY is succeeding. Whether that will all payoff for the final overall volume? Well, we’ll have to wait til the finale airs in February.

#rwby6 #reviewby #rwby #crtq #rwby volume 6

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vocalfriespod · 6 years

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Transcript 10: Down in the Holler

MEGAN: Welcome to the Vocal Fries Podcast, the podcast about linguistic discrimination.

CARRIE: I’m Carrie Gillon

MEGAN: And I’m Megan Figueroa. We have one housekeeping item: another email. It’s our third email. We’re just gonna keep counting. That’s how exciting that is. And it’s from the Ivory Coast. “Hello Carrie and Megan, I was listening to your Freaky Friday episode today and you gave a shout out to the Ivory Coast. So I figured I’d say “hi” and introduce myself as your listener in the Ivory Coast.” Wait. We have more than one, right?

CARRIE: Unless she’s downloading 50 copies of each episode or something, yeah, no, she’s not the only one.

MEGAN: To each their own. If that’s what she’s doing. Back to the email. “You probably looked at your stats and thought ‘huh, that’s weird’.”

CARRIE: Yeah, I did! That’s why I said it!

MEGAN: Yeah. That’s what Carrie did. Ok. “Anyways, I’ve listened to all but your most recent episode now, and I really enjoy them. I found out about you through Lingthusiasm.” Thank you, Lingthusiasm!

CARRIE: Thank you!

MEGAN: “And I’m really glad you have a show about this topic since it’s once I’m passionate about too. Although I usually come at it from a different angle. I’m an English teacher and teacher trainer and linguicism - the term I usually use for linguistic discrimination, although I usually have to include a gloss, since it’s unfortunately not in common use yet - is one of the areas I’m passionate about. Especially how it intersects with race and gender. Within TESOL, Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages, there are a lot of linguistic discrimination issues that come up, both in the discrimination that English learners face, but also in hiring practices that favor native speakers over non-native English speaking teachers. If you’re looking for new areas to cover for future episodes, the linguicism faced by language learners and language teachers and the role that native speakerism plays in perpetuating standard language ideology seems very much connected to the type of things you talk about on the show. Earlier this year, I actually wrote an article about this. If you’re interested, it’s online here.” And we’ll link to it. “Anyways, I thought I’d say “hi” and let you know I appreciate what you’re doing and enjoying listening from here in the Ivory Coast.” Thank you very much, Riah!

CARRIE: I like how she adds the pronunciation for us.

MEGAN: Yes, like rye bread, I love it.

CARRIE: I love it too. Thank you so much for that.

MEGAN: Yeah, I have to do that with my dog. My dog’s name is Rilo [rye-lo]. But it’s spelled like “real-o”.

CARRIE: Yeah. It could be pronounced either way.

MEGAN: Especially if you’re a Spanish speaker, right? Cuz there’s no ‘I’ sound in Spanish.

CARRIE: Or basically any other European language.

MEGAN: True.

CARRIE: English is the odd one out.

MEGAN: Always.

CARRIE: I also want to point out that Riah’s suggestion was also given to me by one of my former students, Edward. So this is clearly a topic that needs to be discussed. And it’s not just about native vs. non-native, it’s also about which varieties are acceptable and which are not. So you could be, say, an English speaker from India and that would not be the kind of dialect that schools would want probably.

MEGAN: Right.

CARRIE: So: yeah! I do think we should talk about it. It’s on the list!

MEGAN: Isn’t the British accent favorable?

CARRIE: English, North American.

MEGAN: Oh it is?

CARRIE: It depends on the school, depends on location, but there definitely - a lot of schools want American or Canadian teachers over some other varieties.

MEGAN: Well this is definitely something we should talk about, since _I_ have a lot of questions about it. I’m sure other people do too! Cuz I think from Twitter, from what I can tell, we do have a lot of TESOL English teacher-type listeners.

CARRIE: Yeah.

MEGAN: Very exciting. Alright!

CARRIE: And today we’re gonna talk about Appalachian /æpəlɑʧn̩/ or Appalachian /æpəleɪʧn̩/ English and we’re gonna ask our guest how it’s actually pronounced.

MEGAN: Yes. He’s from Appalaycha-lahcha.

CARRIE: This kind of reminds me also of Copenhaygen-hahgen /koʊpn̩heɪgn̩hɑgn̩/ [CG: Copenhagen]. Apparently, everybody pronounces it incorrectly. The way that they mock us for pronouncing it incorrectly is saying Copenhaygen-hahgen /koʊpn̩heɪgn̩hɑgn̩/.

MEGAN: Ohhhh. That’s fun. It’s also like - thinking about Arizona - if you say Prescott /pɹɛskət/ vs. Press-cott /pɹɛskɑt/.

CARRIE: Yes.

MEGAN: If someone says Press-cott /pɹɛskɑt/, you’re like, “oh, where are you from? It’s not Arizona.”

CARRIE: Speaking of that, there was an episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend where there was supposed to be a character from Prescott, and he pronounced it like Press-cott /pɹɛskɑt/!

MEGAN: No.

CARRIE: And I was like, “nope! Nope.”

MEGAN: See. Ya gotta get an Arizonan in the room. That’s what that means.

CARRIE: Yeah. Or even just ask.

MEGAN: Yeah!

CARRIE: If it’s just one word, one name, you don’t have to have someone in the room.

MEGAN: That’s true.

CARRIE: But maybe you should make sure that you really know how to pronounce the place names. Cuz place names are the most variable, I would say.

MEGAN: Yes. Don’t think that the easy obvious spelling is actually how you pronounce it. Cuz Prescott is like pretty obvio- it looks like “Scott”. I got you. Alright. I’m going to introduce our guest. Dr. Paul Reed is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Communicative Disorders at the University of Alabama. He researches phonetics and sociophonetics, sociolinguistics, speech perception and language processing and other aspects of Southern and Appalachian /æpəlɑʧn̩/ or Appalachian /æpəleɪʧn̩/ Englishes. We want to ask you, Paul, how do you say that?

PAUL: For us, it’s always Appalachian /æpəlɑʧn̩/.

MEGAN: It’s always Appalachian /æpəlɑʧn̩/.

PAUL: Yeah. Now granted, if you go a little further north, if you go past West Virginia, then you may get some /leʃn̩/ and stuff like that, but it’s a bit of those that - so, growing up, the reason it’s always /lɑʧn̩/ for us - so, during the war on poverty, the Appalachian Volunteers, the AVs, they came into our region and they wanted to help. And so this was usually college students, but they also came with a bit of a “we know how to fix you”. And so a lot of them had /leʃə/. So growing up, it was always a marker of an outsider, usually with a particular view of our region that said /leʃə/. So it’s kinda one of those shibboleths for certain areas of the region, especially in southern Appalachia, where it’s a little bit more - it’s more rural and the poverty was more widespread. It didn’t get so much of the effects of the war on poverty until much later.

MEGAN: Ok so. Appa-lachia /æpəlɑʧə/.

PAUL: Yes.

MEGAN: Ok.

PAUL: We won’t kick you out or anything.

MEGAN: No, I mean I know. I’m sure it’s - I just do not want to signal that I think any less of anyone. But we’re so grateful for you to be talking with us today.

CARRIE: Yeah, thank you.

MEGAN: Thank you for being here.

PAUL: I’m thrilled to be here, thank you so much.

MEGAN: First off, I can put the two together and figure out what it is, but tell us what sociophonetics is.

PAUL: Sure. Sociophonetics is a branch of sociolinguistics. Sociolinguistics is looking at the intersection of language and social groupings, or language and society. Sociophonetics takes that and it brings it down to a phonetic level. It looks at how different groups of people, people with different identities, people from different areas, how they phonetically manipulate their production. Something as finely grained as how do your vowels change, the slight differences in consonant articulations, and things like that. It’s sort of this same kind of idea, but it’s done in a phonetic level. The only thing that makes it a little harder is - so, sometimes we want to exercise as much control over the stimuli or the recording as someone in a phonetics lab. But we also want the most natural speech possible. You try to use as much control as possible, in a way to - but at the same time, trying to get as natural. You try to move someone to the quietest room in their house, preferably with lots of curtains and carpets, and get away from things like fridges and air conditioners and stuff like that. And you might come up, and you hope for the best. I did have one recording - it’s funny, it’s a 94-year-old participant and she was great. But she was on an oxygen machine. We talked for a long time, but certain things I couldn’t do with her recording because - obviously I can’t ask her to turn that off. But I was able to use the qualitative stuff. It was one of those where I was like, “aw! So close!”

MEGAN: Isn’t it that the problem - well, I mean, not a problem - just like something to overcome a bit for all sociolinguists? The natural vs. are they - what is it called? speaker - when you’re there with them?

PAUL: Observer effect.

MEGAN: Yes. Yes, that.

PAUL: Yeah. That’s sort of an issue for everyone, but if someone - you could just unobtrusively set a recorder down, and people can forget about it. If you’ve miked them up and even if you - some people even put a mic connected to with the little over the ear thing, it’s harder to get them to forget about that, because they’re literally connected to. Although, the one thing - so, in my work, I was able to go back home. I was sitting across from people that knew me, that knew my parents, knew my grandparents. There was a bit of time where people just sort of forgot. Because they were sitting with someone they knew. They were sitting with Little Paul Reed, which, if you guys have ever seen me, that’s kinda a funny misnomer, cuz I’m about 6’8”. So it’s sort of - it’s kinda funny. Cuz everyone from my hometown calls me that, because my dad is Paul too, and he was Big Paul and I’m Little Paul. Even though I haven’t really been little for 20 years.

MEGAN: I’m guessing he’s shorter than you, too, at this point.

PAUL: Yes. He was about 6’4”.

MEGAN: Ok!

PAUL: So he was big, he just didn’t wind up as big as his son did.

CARRIE: You’re like Little John.

PAUL: Exactly. Exactly, yes.

MEGAN: So then would you say then that you speak Appalachian English?

PAUL: Yes. Yeah, I would say that I’m definitely a native speaker.

MEGAN: Ok.

CARRIE: One of the questions I have is: what are the boundaries for Appalachia vs. the rest of the South? And connected to that also is how is the language different from this region vs. the rest?

PAUL: That’s a great question. It’s always one of those that - so there’s the official designation of Appalachia, which is set forth by the Appalachia Regional Commission, a division of the federal government. There’s 410 counties over 13 states, stretching literally from about Jackson, Mississippi all the way up into western New York. People hear that and they’re like, “that’s huge!” But of course when most people think Appalachia, they don’t think all the way from Mississippi to New York. They think usually about - and we call it the core region. The whole state of West Virginia, southwest Virginia, eastern Kentucky, east Tennessee, western North Carolina, and a little bit, a smidge of the other states connecting. Northeast Alabama, north Georgia, maybe a little cut of South Carolina. That’s the core region and where people - that’s where the features are, there are more of them, that’s sort of the core region where people inside and outside the region would say, “that’s definitely Appalachia”. And as far as what differentiates it from the rest of the South, it’s really, honestly, most times, a quantitative rather than qualitative difference. Things like the Southern Vowel Shift, where you have the monophthongization of /i/. So in words like “price”, “pry” and “prize”, you’ll have monophthongization in all of those contexts at a much higher rate than in other areas. In large parts of the South, you’ll only get it in prevoiced and open syllables, so “prize”, “pry”. But in Appalachia, you’ll also get it in prevoiceless conditions, so “price”. And you’ll have it approaching categorical. There’s a lot of individual variation, which is what my work looked at. So that’s one of the features. But also, you have a few grammatical structures that occur more often or in more contexts. Things like double modals. That’s combinations like “might could” and “might should” “may can”.

MEGAN: Love that.

PAUL: You have those all over. “Might could” is pretty widespread. You get that from almost to Arizona all the way to-

MEGAN: I have it yeah.

PAUL: Yeah, all the way to the East Coast. But in Appalachia you have more of them in more conditions. I personally have “might could” “might can” “may can” “may could” “might should” “may should” “will can” “used to could” “used to would” “should oughta” “oughta should” “might should oughta”. And then I can also make questions. Things where - and this is where some of the work I’ve done starts to tease apart the difference between the core area and the periphery. When you make a question, usually you’ll take the second modal and move it. It’ll be like, “mmmm… should you might do this?” That’s the sort of typical way. Some people are just like, “no. That’s terrible. What are you doing, you’ve just butchered the language.” That’s sort of one of the things - being able to - all of the different combinations in a lot of different contexts. In more of them. And able to do things like form questions. Or where you put the negation, cuz you can say “might not should” or “might should not”. “Might couldn’t.” So how much contraction you allow and where you allow the negation to appear is sort of one of the features that starts to distinguish the region. Along with, of course, a lot of lexical items. This is where it gets fun. Because it’s a region with a lot creativity. People do a lot of things that aren’t necessarily completely unusual, but it’s very creative. I remember growing up, people would say things like, “man, he’s he workingest man I ever saw.” And you’ve basically added a superlative to “working”, which is interesting. And of course people can immediately parse what you mean. But it’s not necessarily something you’re gonna produce. And some other lexical items, there’s all sorts of terms for things. I was teaching this a couple of weeks ago to my students. Most of them are from the South, cuz we’re at the University of Alabama. Lot of people are from the South. One of my students is from northeast Alabama. In Appalachia. She said, “Dr. Reed, do you know all the words for ‘moonshine’?” I know some of them. So we started comparing the words we have for “moonshine”. So of course you’ve got “shine”, “moonshine”. This is my personal favorite: “Oh Be Joyful”.

CARRIE: That is great. I’ve never heard that before.

PAUL: So people will say, “you got any Oh Be Joyful?” That’s another one. One other - and this one I didn’t even realize until I was in graduate school. That not everyone uses this. It’s called the “alternative one”. It’s very common to say something like, “yeah, you know, we should probably do that Monday or Tuesday one.” In the sense of “one or the other”, but you put both options and then “one” after it and the interlocutor would understand “oh, you’re giving me a choice here.” But not everybody does that. I remember saying that to a friend of mine and got this blank look of “I don’t think I know what you mean.” There are some features that are not necessarily unique but they’re quantitatively different. There are some that are probably on the border of being qualitatively different, but it’s kinda hard to say because the borders are definitely sort of fuzzy. And the closer you get to the core, that core area that I was talking about, people will have more of them and in more contexts.

MEGAN: So then would you say that non-linguists, or people just listening to a Southern American English speaker and then an Appalachian English speaker, would they be able to tell the difference? Or you have to be more of a trained ear.

PAUL: You can tell the difference, but what you often get is somebody’ll say, “you sound REALLY Southern.” Or “you sound REALLY country.” Or for whatever reason people will also think you’re from Texas. So you get, “are you from Texas?” No. We Tennesseans, we saved Texas. The only reason that they’re - we saved them. When I lived in Texas, I made sure I brought that up as much as possible. Which was probably a faux pas, but it’s alright.

MEGAN: Ok. So their dialect is gonna be different from yours.

PAUL: There’s some - in east Texas, cuz there were a lot of people from the mid-South that went to Texas. East Texas, in and around Houston and a little further north, there were a lot of Tennesseans and eastern Kentuckians and those that went. So there are some similarities. It’s not completely off the wall, but it’s definitely something that’s shifted and morphed, cuz we’re talking about the 1830s and 1840s. There’s been a lot of change. But people will say things like, “you sound REALLY Southern.” That’s usually what you get. It’s not necessarily that they don’t recognize - they recognize there’s a difference, but they don’t really know what that difference is. Sometimes within the South, you may get the “country”. Somebody sounds really country. And that’s what you get a lot. Because in the South as a whole, there’s a big urban/rural divide. A lot of the cities have really grown in the last 50 years. The distinction between urban/rural has grown. You get a lot of that, “you sound really country, are you from the sticks?” or “Are you from the boonies?” That kind of stuff. There’s some notion that it’s not necessarily associated with urban areas. Very rarely does somebody say, “are you from Appalachia?” Usually you’ll get “are you country?” In a lot of people’s minds, it’s kind of the same thing.

CARRIE: Also, mountain folk, right?

PAUL: Yes. You’ll get some mountain folk, but that’s usually from people very close to the region that live and they’ve been able to see that distinction. Even though, for example, where I went to college in Knoxville, Tennessee is considered part of Appalachia, very close by, people would know that “oh you’re from the mountains.” Knoxville’s in the valley, and within Appalachia, the valley and mountain or valley and ridge distinction is pretty salient. As Appalachia was settled, people settled in the valleys first. That was where there was better land, and you had people of a certain means, you could get some land in the bottom land along the rivers and valleys. If you came a little bit later, or if you didn’t have as many resources, you had to get higher and higher, cuz the land was cheaper. And so there’s a distinction. Even to this day, there’s a little bit between the valley and the ridge. My wife is from they valley and she’s not - we grew up maybe 50-60 miles apart. Not very far. But there are certain things that I say that she doesn’t say. Certain idioms and sayings, and sometimes the way that we say things is a little distinct. Which is kinda funny, cuz again, we’re both from east Tennessee, we’re not from that far apart. But there’s definitely some distinctions.

CARRIE: Cool!

PAUL: I mean like anywhere, anywhere has distinctions. But in people’s minds, people are like, “oh, you’re both from east Tennessee, you’re both gonna sound the same.” No, not really.

MEGAN: Do you think people are picking up on the phonology, the lexical items, what is it that they’re picking up on when they say “are you from the boonies?” What is it that they’re picking up on?

PAUL: I think, the times it’s happened to me, it’s usually been a combination. When I’ve said something with my phonology, but it’s a saying or a grammatical structure that they’re not familiar with. Another time when I was in college, one of my teammates, he was - I played basketball - so he needed a ride to the airport. And I said, “sure man, I don’t care at all to take you.” He’s like, “ok, I’ll go with somebody else.” I’m like, “why would you do that? I just told you I’d take you.” “No you didn’t, you said you don’t care to take me.” And I said, “exactly. I don’t care at all. I’d love to take you.” He just gave me this blank look, that doesn’t compute, man. It was one of those - we had sort of a misunderstanding. I thought, with my intonation and facial expression, that he knew that I was gonna take him. Things like that. That’s when he was like, “you country people.” Which was a joke. My teammates would call me the mountain man, or Paul Bunyan. That’s sort of part of that, is it’s literally a joke. But there was something like that. I think a combination of the phonology and something that took a minute, there was a little bit of a miscommunication.

CARRIE: Yeah, I would have interpreted it the same way he did.

MEGAN: Yeah, me too.

PAUL: So if someone is from Appalachia, potentially other parts of the South, “I don’t care to” is not always negative. Especially with a “I don’t care to take you at all!”

CARRIE: That’s interesting. One of the things - one of the reasons we wanted to talk to you is because - whatshisname - JD Vance was back in the news.

PAUL: Yes.

CARRIE: Do you have any feelings towards his work?

PAUL: I have lots of feelings about JD Vance. Some of them will probably need to be edited slightly. No, I'm just kidding.

CARRIE: You can swear if you want. We swear on this.

MEGAN: We have an explicit rating.

PAUL: JD Vance is, he’s full of what makes the grass grow green in lots of ways. Because the main thing is is that if his autobiography were his own story, the story of a child from a broken home that got access to education, had some people that mentored him, and made good. He was able to attend some fine colleges and he did well for himself. If that were his book, then it would be great. But the fact that first and foremost, a 30 year old is writing an autobiography - and not an autobiography. He’s writing an elegy for an entire region. And a region, he didn’t grow up in. He’s from Ohio. He grew up in Ohio. He spent summers and he spent time back in Kentucky, but he did not grow up in the region. And trying to put his experiences, and the experiences of his mother, with all of her demons and all of her issues, as somehow indicative of an entire region - even if you’re looking at just the core region, you’re talking about 6 states. Millions of people. And basically saying, “hey, this is what they’re all like. They’re all fighting, and they’re all violent, and they’re all drug addicts.” That part is infuriating. Because that is the same trope that’s been going on for 150 years. In the period after the civil war, there was this kind of literature called Local Color. It was journalists from urban areas, like Baltimore and DC and other places, and they wanted to write about interesting places around the country. And because Appalachia wasn’t that far away, they would go, and they would seek out the people who were the most different. And so of course, it’s looking at people who were impoverished, people that were barely scraping by. They would write stories about them. And those stories would be very the same thing, how some people make good, some people are able to escape. But it’s the culture of poverty, it’s the culture of deprivation, it’s the culture of this. And that’s painting this brush. And even though people just up the holler from them are completely different, their reality is completely different, they paint everyone with the same brush. Some of these stories sold like wildfire. Because they were in Harper’s, they were in the Atlantic, and other things, so these magazines that we still have to this day, but they sold. It’s literally the exact same trope of it wasn’t drugs, it wasn’t opioids back then, but it was the moonshiners, and the impoverishment. Because they were Scotch-Irish, they liked to fight, cuz they were all clannish. And it’s stuff of just like - this is like a zombie trope. We just need to slay it and let it die. But it just won’t. That’s my biggest issue. Again, his story is incredible. What he faced and the way he was able to overcome it was very inspiring. But when you try to say that the way that you grew up is the way that everyone grows up and the demons that your parents, and his mother faced, are the same demons that everyone faces, that’s where it gets annoying. And then also the fact that he footnoted his own autobiography. You don’t footnote an autobiography. You’re not pointing out research when it’s about your own life. That’s the thing that’s irritating. And then the fact that he’s somehow become the voice of the region. And there are scholars that have been working in the region and are from the region that have been writing for 50 years, people like Dwight Billings at Kentucky, and people like Anita Puckett at Virginia Tech, Mimi Pickering at Appalshop. There’s just so many people that have written and told a story and a nuanced story and a complicated and complex story. But that doesn’t sell as much. And it’s - no one likes to hear “hey, it’s so difficult because you’ve got extractive industries, you’ve got poverty, you’ve got rampant capitalism.” And then you’ve got other things that - frankly the fact that JD Vance has become our voice just pisses most of us off. In a way that is - so I’m a member of the Appalachian Studies Association and I think he’s been invited at least twice now and has yet to appear. I don’t know if it’s just that he - if it’s one of those - he just can’t fit it into his busy schedule. Strangely enough he’s still able to be on other networks and stuff. But anyway. JD Vance is - he’s not - he’s irritating.

MEGAN: These tropes that he’s reinforcing, it wasn’t just - they were persisting before him. If feels just kinda like - he’s bringing it into a national spotlight even more. Is that true?

PAUL: Yeah.

MEGEAN: Ok.

CARRIE: And it’s keeping it - it’s still perpetuating now. Everyone goes and interviews all these Trump supporters from the particular region and it’s all the same kind of - or at least intersecting tropes. It just keeps happening.

PAUL: Yes.

MEGAN: Right.

PAUL: And again, people in certain parts of Appalachia, their lives haven’t changed in 50 years. They’re worse off than their grandparents were. Or on par. Because of stagnant wages and with the decline of coal and the decline of timbering and things like that, certain industries are dying. And it IS sad. But at the same time, that’s not everybody. Some of the stories and the way that they’re written are so patronizing. That’s the thing that’s irritating. It’s like, “oh, we’re gonna go find some of the towns in West Virginia that have been decimated.” Because once the coalmines closed, people had to leave. If they didn’t have a way to make any more income. So they did leave. So some of these towns are hurting, and hurting badly. But, that’s not everybody. You don't see anyone rolling into Knoxville or to Chattanooga or to Asheville or to Lexington or other places that are thriving - Greenville, South Carolina, which is technically part - those cities are doing very well. And not just the cities, their suburbs, and you don’t get the stories from there of the successes that are going on. Or the thriving small towns that are making a difference. That’s the story that’s not told. And that part is sad and frustrating, because the region has been exploited for 300 years, particularly the last 150 years, and so much of its wealth and its beauty have left because of absentee ownership and other things that - it was almost - some writers have described it as an internal colony. Because so many of the resources were taken away and the riches produced weren’t reinvested back in the region. And there’s lots of reasons for that. The natural resources were taken but the people were not - they didn’t reap the benefits of that.

MEGAN: So do you think that that’s the biggest stereotype or misconception about people from the region is the impoverished kind of trope that’s -

PAUL: I think so. Normally - there’s kinda two big tropes. They’re sort of flip sides of each other, but you’ve got the degenerate hillbilly, poor, no shoes, no teeth. Shiftless, lazy. All of those. Then you also, on the flip side, sometimes when you say “Appalachia” people think tradition, it’s almost a positive thing, like “ooh, it’s pretty, traditional values” in some ways. So you get - sometimes there is some positive thing. They are obviously outweighed by the negative, but you can get this yin and this yang or this Janus idea of two sides. But if you were ever to google search “Appalachia”, and look at the images, for every 10 hillbillies there’s one “ooh, look how pretty”. Or you get these obviously all of the caricatures and stereotypes. So I think that that’s - the impoverished and the hillbilly, kinda go hand in hand. You do get some positive things, and those are - even in Vance’s book, he talked about the family togetherness and the independence. Some of those, even though as is portrayed in his book are negative, you can pull positive things from that. I guess I should - my small caveat, it’s not all negative in his book. Just mostly.

CARRIE: One of the words that you used in that discussion was “holler” which I definitely associate with Appalachia.

PAUL: Yes! Yes! I think it can be called a “hollow”, but if you say “hollow”, no one knows what you’re talking about. So it’s a “holler”. And it’s a - I don’t exactly know the strict definition of what a “holler” is. I can point some out to you but I don’t know.

CARRIE: I always interpret them as small valleys. But maybe I’m wrong.

PAUL: It’s a small, long valley that - usually there’s one way in but there’s land that’s arable and useable and people can live close or far. And usually as you’re going in, you’re going up too. So if you’re deep in a holler, you’re probably moving up the ridge.

CARRIE: Oh! That’s interesting.

MEGAN: It’s good that that was cleared up because I heard it and I was like “I don’t know what’s happening!”

CARRIE: The first time I ever heard the word was in - not Longmire. What’s that tv show about the federal agent. From Kentucky? Right? Tennessee?

PAUL: Justified?

CARRIE: Justified! The first time I ever heard that word, I think, was Justified. And I had to look it up.

PAUL: Yup. Now Justified is actually decent. I will say that’s a show that I can watch and reasonably enjoy. Obviously some of the bad guys are so over the top and it’s almost like, really? But for the most part it’s a reasonable display of the region. It’s obviously not perfect, but it’s pretty good. As far as-

MEGAN: What about the dialect?

PAUL: It’s decent. They did get a lot of extras from the region itself and so a lot of those are fairly good. Obviously, some of the stars aren’t necessarily from the region, so theirs is - most of the time, any time you get an actor and try to teach them, certain things’ll be really good. And then other things will be “meh”. It’s oftentimes like - the Southern accent just as a whole is hard, just because there’s a lot of nuance there. A really good version is Jude Law in Cold Mountain. A really terrible version is Jake Gyllenhaal in October Sky. I almost had to stop watching the movie. I’m like, “this is terrible.” Oh man. It was - he was giving it a decent try, but it’s like man. As linguists, we gotta do some more work. We gotta some work. Cuz it was not good. Not good at all.

CARRIE: What do you think people are judging when they judge you or other Appalachian speakers for their dialect?

PAUL: I think it’s two things. Obviously, first and foremost, you’re - we’re all raised in this culture, we’re all presented with these stereotypes, we’re presented with these ideas - because not everyone has experience with the region. And so just like most human things, we try to categorize. Based on what we’ve been told. If you are inundated with this idea of hillbilly and poor and backwards and Trump country to the nth degree, with a little sprinkling of very pretty and traditional and things like that. Which, some of those are even reinforced. I think that’s what we do, the same way that those of us who grew up in the region that may not have had any experience with New York or Boston or the Midwest, what do you have to default to, what have we absorbed from our culture. Some of that is positive about certain areas and some of it is also negative. Sadly for Appalachia, a lot of it is negative. We’re inundated with a lot of negativity, sprinkled with some positivity. But that’s what we default to cuz that’s the only thing we have. And of course we like black and white answers. We like good or not so good. But when something is complex and nuanced and there’s lots of gray and not just black and white that’s what people - so for example, people hear me sometimes, and they hear that I’m a PhD and I wear my shoes and I have my teeth, there’s some cognitive dissonance there, like, “what happened? Wait a minute, you’re not a blatant racist, or misogynist, or things like that. What do we do with that? And you’re not poor.” Not that I’m rich, but “you’re not dirt poor, living on a dirt floor.” It’s weird. I was on an athletic visit to New York City, and I was there and one of the guys was like, “hey man, so you’re from Tennessee!” And it was like, “yeah.” And he looked at me and said, “do you guys have phones there?”

CARRIE: HA!

PAUL: And I just kinda look at him and I said, “nope! We got two cans and a big long string.” But it was - granted, this is a guy that grew up in - I think he may have been from the Bronx - he had no notion. So the only thing that he had was the caricatures. And so he asked somebody literally in the year 2000 if they had phones. Which is obviously an absurd question. But it’s indicative of what did he - I was the first person from Tennessee that he knew that he had met. So what is he gonna do? He’s gonna default to what he’s been presented. And sadly that picture from a lot of pop culture and the cultural milieu is negative, and so that’s what he did. And of course back then I didn’t have any notion of how to answer this so I also proceeded to insult him about New York and thoity-thoid street and things like that. Again that was my first trip to New York so I had to default to my stereotypes too. That’s not my proudest moment, but that's just being transparent.

CARRIE: Well sometimes when you’re put in these situations, you just don't know how to respond.

PAUL: Exactly.

CARRIE: I wouldn’t have known.

PAUL: I was 17 so I really didn’t have a lot of world experience in how to navigate something like that. Although I will say I do have one funny story about a guy, a good friend of mine. He’s probably the smartest guy I know. He’s an agricultural engineer and he’s basically figured out ways for us to feed to the whole world, this is what he does. We were at this McDonald’s, we were on a trip and we were coming back from Saint Louis. I don’t really remember where we were. But we weren’t very close to home. My friend has a pretty pronounced Appalachian accent. He just lets it fly cuz that’s who he is and that’s who he wants to be. He ordered his food. And this guy behind him starts laughing. Then my friend turns around and says, “can I help you?” And the guy said, “what rock did you crawl out from under?”

CARRIE: Oh my god.

PAUL: And my buddy - he’s so funny, he’s so quick with this - I don’t know how - but he’s like, “let me ask you something. Do you know what an algorithm is?” And the guy’s like, “uh, no.” He said, “can you tell me what a derivative is?” And he’s like, “no.” He said, “I didn’t think so.” He said, “just cuz my mouth move slow, doesn’t mean my mind does. But apparently yours does.” And then he walked off. And it was kinda like - that was-

CARRIE: Wow.

PAUL: Terrible and amazing at the same time. Both really insulted and then I’m like, “dude, that’s like the best comeback I’ve ever heard and how did you think of that?” And he just walks with his tray and sits down. He’s like, “*sigh* we get all kinds.” And it was funny cuz he was not really upset after that, and I was like, “wow.” But what did that guy - what was his stereotype. It was, if you hear someone talking like that, they’re from so far country, so deep in the country that they live under a rock. That’s what he defaulted to. It was a really just eye opening - it’s kinda like - I wanted to be his yes man but I didn’t really know what to say so I’m like, “YEAH.”

CARRIE: TAKE THAT.

PAUL: That’s my friend!

CARRIE: Yeah. One of the things that I hear a lot is that people from the South and Appalachia, they talk lazy.

PAUL: Oh yes.

CARRIE: Can you explain why it’s not lazy.

PAUL: So it’s not lazy because no native speaker speaks lazily. It’s just sort of like that’s - it’s funny because what it is is typically Southern vowels - there’s this thing called the Southern drawl and what happens is some vowels get lengthened and they change a little bit over the articulation. So you get something like, “fri-end” /fɹeɛnd/. So what happens, is where most places would be “friend” /fɹɛnd/, that middle vowel stays roughly the same as you say it. But in the South it’ll change over time. Even though the speaking rate isn’t any different, you get the perception of more or longer because it’s changing over time. So when people get that, they’re like, “oh they talk slower.” And you get the rationale, because it’s hot. Because it’s humid. No one wants to move fast. But at the same time, when something is done slower you think, “why are they doing it slower?” They’re just not as fast or they have ability but they’re choosing not to. Typically, usually, stems from that. There’ve been some studies that look at speaking rate at various places and everyone speaks roughly, on the average, roughly the same speed. There are obviously fast speakers in the South and there are slow speakers in the South, same as there are fast speakers in the Midwest and there are slow speakers in the Midwest. Because of that perception, particularly the vowels, that usually - and then also the same thing, the canonical, the caricature, the monophthonization of “I”. That also gives you the percept of being longer, even though it’s the same amount of time, it gives you the percept of being longer for the opposite reason: you’re expecting it to change and it doesn’t. So you’re like, “oh, that person just isn’t raising their tongue because they are choosing not to because they’re lazy or it’s hot or humid or something.” I think that’s probably where it stems from.

CARRIE: Thank you. I agree. It’s just good to have a phonetician actually explain it, rather than me.

PAUL: You can always say, “you know, everyone speaks roughly the same rate. There are faster and slower people. But on the average, everyone’s roughly the same.” Cuz we’re still understandable, no one’s lazy. It’s not like it takes that much effort to move your tongue. We just have a different system.

CARRIE: Yeah. Thank you. Alright do we have any other questions, Megan?

MEGAN: I don’t think so. Do you have any last words or anything that you would really wish our listeners - which, I mean, we have listeners on the Ivory Coast, so.

PAUL: Yeah!

MEGAN: Anything you would want them to know about the region or about the dialect?

PAUL: Sure. It’s a region that is - it’s very complex. It’s one of those that are - there are some of the greatest people. There are some traditions that are still maintained. There’s a lot of complexity. It’s a region that’s very beautiful. I am completely biased in that assessment, but I’m ok with that. It’s beautiful, the people are some of the finest people you could meet. The language is - it’s creative, it’s playful. It’s a way that people have connections to their roots. Because of the idioms, some of the stories. The Jack Tales. The creativity of the language evokes an earlier time. Even though it’s a completely modern instantiation of the language, it does have some evocative features of an earlier time. But it is - it’s awesome. It’s glorious. Please come. See it. Meet people, shake their hands, hear their stories. Make your own opinion. Don’t listen to everyone in the media. Make your own opinion.

CARRIE: Can I ask you what a Jack story is?

PAUL: Oh so a Jack Tale. Like Jack and the Beanstalk.

CARRIE: Oh.

PAUL: Where it’s about Jack and normally Jack is little scamp. He gets into mischief and finds his way - usually through his own intuition, finds his way out. That’s the most famous version of Jack and the Beanstalk. But there are all of these Jack Tales that everyone hears growing up. Every holler and pocket and region has their own variations on the Jack Tales. That’s one of the other stereotypes, is that Appalachians are storytellers. Which, that one is pretty true. I know lots of people and they can tell some really good stories. I guess we’ll accept that one. It’s tales about Jack. He usually gets in some kind of trouble and figures his way out. There’s mixes of magic and fantasy and stuff. But some of them are also very down to earth. He’s supposed to go do something and decides not to and how is he gonna make it up to his parents. Some things like that. Some thing that can be magic beans that grow up to this giant thing in the sky to he went to the swimming hole rather than doing his chores, something like that.

CARRIE: That’s cool. Ok, thank you so much!

PAUL: Thank you all very much. This was great.

MEGAN: Thank you so so much.

CARRIE: Yeah, this was really great.

MEGAN: It was. I learned everything. Cuz again I had lived in Arizona my entire life. So I have not been to Appalachia.

PAUL: Well you are more than welcome to-

MEGAN: I look forward to it.

PAUL: We can send you an Appalachian card, so that way you’re accepted as one of our own.

MEGAN: Yes! Well I say Appalachia /æpəlɑʧə/.

PAUL: Yes. You are in. You’re in.

MEGAN: Yes.

CARRIE: I have been to Nashville, at least.

PAUL: There you go. Nice. Nice.

CARRIE: It was really nice!

PAUL: Go get some hot chicken.

CARRIE: I didn’t eat any hot chicken. I did buy some hot chicken spice though, so I can make it on my non-chicken food.

PAUL: Oh there you go. There you go.

MEGAN: We always end our show with our tagline, which is: Don’t be an asshole! Because that is the message - if you haven’t heard it.

CARRIE: Yeah. Do not be an asshole!

PAUL: Right!

MEGAN: Thank you so much.

PAUL: Thanks guys.

CARRIE: Thanks again.

PAUL: You’re welcome, thank you.

MEGAN: Bye

CARRIE: K, bye!

MUSIC: O' be joyful Is that what you're brewing Does your daddy know that's what you're doing His little girl's got a reputation out for ruin She was givin' them the country away

Machete in the tree stub, hound dog on the chain Wooden-legged woman playin' a banjo in the rain. Can't recall the tune but the song's always the same "Jesus give me strength"

But babe, it's alright I'm gonna wrap you up tonight, Carry you out right on time

CARRIE: The Vocal Fries Podcast is produced by Chris Ayers for Halftone Audio. Theme music by Nick Granum. You can find us on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @vocalfriespod. You can email us at [email protected].

#transcript #linguistics #linguistic discrimination #Southern American English #Southern #Appalachia #Appalachian #Appalachian English #obejoyful

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rkxayah · 6 years

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LUXE 💎 SIXTH EVALUATION debut showcase! july 30, 2018

4:55 pm.

while looking at her reflection in the mirror, eunae can barely recognize herself. where has her tomboyish image gone to? all she sees is this tall, pretty girl in a dress just like the ones her mother always dreamed of putting on her. but she doesn’t feel very in sync with that girl, as if it’s not her own body she’s looking at. when she thinks of herself, eunae pictures how she looked at seventeen when she first came to korea. blonde, tomboyish, cheeks still chubby from the remnants of childhood. but that’s not what she’s seeing right now and it shocks her. she became a woman, simple as that.

she looks at the other girls with a mix of excitement and pride. they all look sublime, but her gaze lingers on sona in particular. the girl looks banging but of course that’s just her biased opinion. “is it me or it’s getting hot in here?” she whispers playfully as she walks right by, nudging her side before standing in line as they prepare to go up on stage for the press conference. they practiced a multitude of questions but of course there isn’t a definite way to know which ones are gonna pop out. she doesn’t doubt royal has some control over it, but they still have to be on their toes.

and up they go, six goddesses greeting the mortals in front of them.

6:00pm-7:00pm.

she’s definitely back in her element this time, wearing tight-fitted black pants and a crop top of the same color. it compliments her figure nicely and makes her even taller than she already is. her hair is tied up in a complex ponytail and french braids and she looks fierce as hell with her makeup on. a girl’s got hype herself up, doesn’t she? and it’s not just her, they all look extremely different than they did earlier. all in dark colors, all in feminine yet very badass clothing. the stylist did a very good job of highlighting each one of their personalities and in a way it even suits the goddess title they chose for themselves.

her nerves start acting up as she looks at each minute go by. she’s restless, even more than usual and the hairstylist has to remind her multiple times not to move or else it’ll take even longer to get her ready. while it’s easier said than done, she manages to stay still long enough for them to finish and soon she’s left to be nervous on her own, with only the other girls as support.

she thinks of her family who have bought their tickets long ago online. her dad, her mom, her two sisters, her brother joey. and she thinks of the four special people she gave her mvp tickets to. yoohyeon, her best friend and probably biggest fan to this day. lisa, her dearest other half during royal survival. bambam, her cousin and the one person that can keep up with her energy and sense of humor. and last but not least, her brother yien. the one person she wanted most to come see her. the one person she wants to impress, and make proud. he’s already been her model, her hero. despite what he thinks he’s worthy of every bit of love that she can possibly give him. and she wants to show him that she worked hard and stuck to something besides soccer for the first time in her life. that she’s found a new passion.

the clock ticks, and the showcase grows nearer.

8pm.

after a heartfelt and emotional speech from their leader cheri, the girls all pull each other into a tight hug. eunae isn’t sure if she ever wants to let go because then it’ll mean the showcase is actually happening, that they’re going on stage and facing the three THOUSAND people who bought a ticket. there are for sure a lot of their loved ones inside the venue, but also strangers. complete strangers who found them interesting enough to spend hard-earned money on a ticket. it’s beyond her wildest imagination and god knows her imagination is wild already.

“let’s do this girls!” xayah calls out joyfully, right hand currently crushed by tiny but powerful cheri. there’s no going back now, they’re debuting. they’re doing this and they will kill it because that’s what they’ve been training and waiting for all these months.

they’re finally about the experience the results of their hard work. and not only theirs, but all of the staff at royal who participated in this debut. she can’t wait to see the reactions, to see where it’ll bring them. the future looks bright right now, so bright it’s almost blinding.

the first vcr starts to play and the girls get ready. the first song performed is not their title track, but what’s probably the most sensual one out of the album. at first listen she wasn’t a big fan of dangerous, just because it’s not her cup of tea and what she thinks she does best. but working alongside members like ella, cheri, sona, yena and celine, she was bound to actually improve her level of sexiness on stage. yoo jaekyung told her to exploit the strength and that’s her intensity. she’s intense in everything she does, from her gaze to her movements and that’s what sets her apart. she’s learned how to regulate it, tone it down during certain parts and go all out for others and that advice actually helped her accept that she can, in fact, be sexy.

luv me comes next and it’s such a contrast. it’s still in tune with the rest of the songs but there’s a definite quirkiness to it that eunae likes. i feel good remains her favorite to this day and it’ll never change but the choreography is so light-hearted and fun that the pleasure they have on stage can be felt by the audience. there isn’t one person who isn’t smiling right now.

for a while she tries to find her friends and family in the crowd, but the lighting makes it pretty difficult to see anything at all so she gives up quickly and focuses on what she needs to do instead. once luv me is over noh jihoon steps in, applauded by the crowd and the girls greet him, still breathing heavily from their earlier performance. from this moment forward she’s not jo eunae, nor is she bekah tuan. “i’m xayah, goddess of fire!” and there it is, her official stage name and title. they said to choose wisely but she didn’t have to think much before she settled on this one. it not only is a perfect match with xayah but it’s also her zodiac element, and just a word that describes her well in general. she’s always been told that there’s fire inside her, to not let it consume her. well, she never did and instead tamed it, which led her to where she is tonight. in front of all these people, greeting them as luxe’s main rapper xayah.

when asked their impressions of the songs, eunae replies honestly. “i didn’t like dangerous at first, not because it’s not a good song, because it is! but because i didn’t think it was my style, especially the dance. but in the end i think it became one of my favorites! i think it’s no surprise that i’m a little less into ballads but i’m glad we get to show multiple sides. i feel good if my favorite song because it’s upbeat and fun, like me,” she laughs before continuing, “but that’s not all there is to me, and also to us as a group. we get to hear cheri eonnie, celine eonnie and sona’s gorgeous vocals in still falls the rain so just for that it’s worth it, please anticipate the performance later!”

and with that she let others speak, either nodding or humming in agreement when they said something that warranted a reaction but otherwise trying not to cut anyone. that’s what she’s practiced the most throughout the public speaking lessons, because she’s usually the type to just butt in whenever she feels like saying something. however that’s not how it works in a formal setting like this one and it looks rude (so they said).

with that portion done, they prepare for still falls the rain and without you and eunae feels so very alive. she almost wishes this could go on forever, like that one evaluation she did back then as a trc trainee.

but it’s soon over and they’re back with noh jihoon, sitting on the stools provided by the staff so they may rest and take a small sip of water. and while she didn’t feel like stopping the music earlier, this game actually sounds fun and she tries to think of the best anecdote to share while the first name is being picked. when he turn comes she grins, brings the microphone to her lips and doesn’t speak right away. “there’s one thing...” she begins mysteriously, as if daring the other members to guess what she’s about to say. “that happened with all of us, right? we were really hungry one night but we can’t order any good food so we called chicken delivery in secret. but they’d find out if the delivery man came in through the door so he tied the box on a shoelace and we pulled it through the window!” she starts laughing and so does everyone else. “and since we thought of ella eonnie too, we made sure to get a salad on the side...” she shoots a playful glance at the older, since they never cease to tease her about her much too healthy and balanced diet. “but did i have to talk about debut?” she looks a bit taken aback. “then i would say my favorite memory is the one we’re making right now, with all of you. i don’t think i’ll ever forget it. thanks for being here, really!”

and with that the segment goes on until they all leave the stage and prepare for i feel good while the music video plays. the music video. it feels so official now that they see it live, now that they know everyone will be reacting to it. she can’t even believe they’ve finally reached that point. back in december, when the group was formed, they didn’t even know when they would debut. it might as well have taken a year yet here they are already.

they cheer themselves up again before going for the final kill with i feel good. it’s the most important performance of the night. it’s their debut song, the one the nation is going to hear either a lot or not at all depending on how well they do. if they perform well, if they catch people’s attention then maybe the video will be shared and it’ll gain momentum. and so she gives every last bit of energy left in her body.

they deliver, she thinks. probably more than they ever did before.

9:30pm.

as they greet the crowd one last time, the lights fade and it’s over just as quickly as it began. eunae finds herself backstage with the other members, preparing to receive their four guests. she wishes all of her family could be there but there’s a lot more than just four so yien and bambam will do for today. they’re both well aware of what she’s doing through, or at least what she went through so they understand more than anyone else the thrill of it all. and there’s lisa too with who she shares so many memories from royal survival. and yoohyeon, her brightest supporter who can experience what it’s like behind the scenes. she’s just happy to have them, and promptly introduces everyone to the other luxe members and even the staff members she crosses paths with along the way.

it begins.

#luxe:juleval #;luxe #;writings #RKXAYAH IN THE HOUSE BITCHES #those are prob her aesthetics for 아슬해 #it goes without saying all of luxe is tagged but i won't bc of reasons

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luninosity · 6 years

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I have put up the first of the three Demon bonus stories, if it is of interest? This one’s essentially an outsider POV. Justin did promise to go and see a certain band, before everything happened. The band might not be expecting rock legend Kris Starr and the infamous New York Demon to show up and say hi and possibly solve their romantic problems along the way...

Come read at AO3 here! Teaser below.

“Guys! In the audience! Tonight! Guess who!”

The other four members of the New Regency, sprawled out in the back room in various stages of post-show exhaustion and exhilaration, collectively searched for objects to throw at their pint-sized drummer. Lee managed to summon up enough energy to telekinetically fling a pillow. Everyone else groaned.

Zak took this as a challenge to half-pixie enthusiasm. “You’re not gonna believe it! Guess!”

“Do we have to?” Ian had found the beer, popped one open, and appeared to be trying to drown himself in it. Ryan had draped herself across the floor and the sofa, legs up on sofa-cushions, on her back. She looked as if she didn’t plan to move for a week; Lee had flopped into the rest of the sofa and was halfheartedly playing some strange sort of affectionate foot-kicking game with her. This was utterly platonic in the way of best friends; Rye had dated Zak for a while, and Lee didn’t seem to be interested in dating anybody, or at least wasn’t talking about it.

Adam, who’d settled onto the floor at Lee’s feet for lack of sofa-space, watched them all. His band. His family. Literally, in the case of Lee and Ian—the Patterson brothers were four years apart in age and ten times that in responsibility—but in so many other ways too.

He ended up smiling. He generally did. The quiet one in the corner, a recent review’d called him; he did not mind that. He didn’t have Zak’s energy or Rye’s tall skinny sunflower style or Lee’s stage presence, that mixture of calm acceptance and optimism that the rest of them all followed.

He was himself. The one who wrote their songs, everything Lee turned into powerful passionate vocals on stage, from the bubbly soda-pop fizz of first love in “Playground” to the comic-book fantasy of “Rescue,” in which he’d imagined his own personal superhero showing up at his door. From the quirky off-beat lines of “Nikola Tesla” to his own cracked heart in “Telling You,” about his parents and the reaction when he’d said I think I might be gay and then the grateful dive into safe harbor at Ian and Lee’s house upon telling them.

He was the one who got anxious doing interviews and stuttered over the words that flowed so easily when he had time to scribble them down. Who kept out of the way, as much as fluffy ginger hair and gawky elbows would allow. He played lead guitar because Lee wanted to focus on singing, and he knew he was good, and he took pleasure in being good: the right notes, the right timing, crisp clean professional perfection. He liked that: being good at what he did, serving the band, getting to watch and be caught up in everybody else’s delirious joy. He knew they valued him; they all went out of their way to say so, and he appreciated it.

He caught himself watching Lee a lot. That natural strength. That command on stage. Those shoulders, and rich dark skin, and dimples around that smile. Adam had been Ian’s friend first—they were the same age—and he’d always thought that schoolboy crush on his friend’s big brother would disappear someday, evanescent as a teenage afternoon.

So far, after growing up and graduating from high school, after three subsequent years in the band and a moderate level of success, it hadn’t.

“Yes! Guess!” Zak’s excitement, mixed with awe, bounced out to fill out the room. Kicked everybody in the heart despite tiredness. “Come on!”

“People,” Rye deadpanned from the floor, “people were in the audience,” but she was grinning. The audience had been fantastic. The energy had been fantastic. Chants and screams and bouncing along. Crowd-surfing and singing back of choruses. Roaring for Ian’s keyboard solo.

The New Regency had a decently dedicated following—still playing local venues, not signed with a label, but managing to do more than stay afloat—and their fans showed up dressed in the various suit colors Zak had decided they should wear to perform, mint and raspberry and lemony topaz and blueberry and cream and jet. Went with the name. The style. The fashionable ties and boots. Most of the suit-pieces had been discarded by most band members at this point, shed in sweat-soaked heaps around the room and previously on the Gilman’s stage.

The Gilman itself had a name and a reputation. Lots of great bands getting started on that stage. Lots of names. Arbor Dei. The Enchantresses. The Martians. And now them. They hoped, anyway.

“No!” Zak threw hands up in exasperation. “I mean yeah, sure, people, but seriously!”

“For this amount of build-up it’d better be Jimmy Aubrey himself,” Lee said, dry but amused; Adam watched his little half-smile, watched him being fond of Zak’s exuberance.

“Close!” Zak beamed elation at Lee, at them all. “Justin Moore!”

Ian dropped his beer. Foam erupted across stained carpet.

“No,” Rye said. “No way. The New York Demon? No.”

“Yes. Sam said so, and she’d know, they’re friends, and then other people—”

“What people,” Lee said, “exactly? And how drunk were they?”

“I’m not making it up!”

“Zak,” Rye said kindly, propping herself up on elbows, “Justin Moore isn’t gonna magically turn up at one of our shows. We kick ass, but we’re not, like, famous.”

#original fic #midwinter demon fic #yes i write fic for my fic #that's not weird at all #but the stories are just there wanting to be told

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yayodancing · 6 years

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(Archives) Beautiful Lou Interview

Beautiful Lou is a producer, who also happens to occasionally rap, residing in San Antonio, Texas, who can always be reached at his #rare Tumblr. - http://beautifullou.tumblr.com/

His career may appear young, but his signature trademark of dark almost hymn-like gothic vocal samples combined with a slowed down BPM that is always screaming to be Screwed (pause?). Having produced for Lil B (Cocaine and the Illusions of Grandeur remix), Main Attrakionz (primarily Squadda, having produced on his I Smoke Because I Don't Care About Death album as well as the more recent Black Kings), and many talented lesser known emcees (Western Tink and Yachtsmen certainly come to mind first), Lou's profile has raised greatly since I met him a year ago.

I recently asked Lou for an interview, and he happily obliged; hopefully I can showcase the man behind the music as well as the producer and rapper in the light he deserves. Admittedly nervous about conducting my very first interview, I called up Lou on his phone and got ready to break that cherry (||).

Firstly, thanks for fucking with me, bro. You have no idea how much I appreciate your support; we're coming up in this game now together, and that seems so appropriate. But before we get to anything, because of how refined your music is, I really need to ask; how long have you been producing? Rapping?

Three to four years, but like a lot of the shit you're hearing now is pretty old. When I was in Dallas, I was more active making new beats, but when I moved to San Antonio, I couldn't really get anyone to rap on my shit. I liked the lyricists, but they weren't really feeling my shit, I guess that wasn't they were looking for. So, when I moved to San Antonio, I started fucking with the Internet real heavy - that lead me to Lil B, Squadda B. I was really about trying to keep it Texas, y'know, local; that's just the sound that I wanted to help promote, the artists around here. But when I checked with these people online, they had a style that really brought something to rap. They're kinda doing things on an avant-garde level, but they still keep it street.

Now that's kinda leading me to getting attention around here, with Lil B popping off, Squadda B getting attention from the blogs, which is crazy because I did production on SNYL from I Smoke Because I Don't Care About Death. Your style is very different from any producer I'm hearing out there; it obviously shares some sonic qualities with the emerging Based genre of production, specifically the lo-fi, scratchy effect, but it differs so greatly from producers like Clams Casino or Keyboard Kid. All those melancholic droning-samples, the dirty 808s, the funky bass reminiscent of Pimp C's trademark Southern comfort; it's all so welcoming, so breathtaking.

Who're some of your inspirations, past and present?

It's weird because I didn't even hear of Clams or Keyboard Kid before working with Lil B; but present, now I'm just listening to like a lot of the shit they're putting out, anyone that's working with Lil B. It's cool to be able see people that're in my same lane, really just soaking it up, seeing the type of sound we're created. Past? Really, the first CD that I bought with my own money was OutKast - Aquemini. That shit pretty much defines the type of sound that I'm trying to do. It just has a lotta screwed elements to it, especially on Aquemini; it just feels like Texas. Because we've been doing that down here, the pitched the horror music and stuff, y'know; it's a crunchy sound. Especially synths, and those types of instruments, they sound real good to me; it just creates a certain broken digital sound. But definitely Screw and Pimp C, just that sound that'll stick with you.

I know you're very #based, but your production bleeds with such sorrow - you seem like such a positive, upbeat guy from what I've heard from you and the times we've exchanged messages over the net. Even now on the phone, your tone is still bright, uplifting; does this music come from a certain place in your soul? Are you letting the song cry, word to Hova?

I guess I'm just trying to hit the emotion with that song - you know, those screwed vocals are just so sad, they hit that emotion with you. Like that first time I heard, even though it wasn't a pitched down vocal, you know that RZA song, Tearz? From 36 Chambers? The first time I heard that shit, it just hit me so emotionally; I just didn't know music could hit that chord with you. Just the way he pitched up chopped those vocals, pitched them up. Just something about that really stuck with me; those voices. Like that song I just gave to Lil B, the Illusions of Grandeur (Remix), there's just this sample there - and to me, his voice just makes the beat. It's just so dark and lonely.

So, Lou, you finally released your EP recently, something I've been waiting on personally for quite awhile. The EP isn't completely full of Lou raps - which kinda saddened me. The other tracks are exceptional, especially Squadda B's Black Kings and Lil B's Cocaine, two songs I was already a big fan of going into. But do you ever think you'll take up the mic more? I fucking love your flow man.. maybe it's that Southern drawl you have, but I don't think anyone sounds as good on your production as you.

I dunno man, the producer thing popped off more; like I'm getting a lot of request for beats, and sometimes they'll request a feature too, because they've heard me do these freestyles. I mean, if I could - to be honest man, I dunno anyone around here who really has a proper studio, or even a mic or anything. In Dallas it was a lot easier, but here in San Antonio, there's not that many people doing it. But, once I get some more money saved up, I'm gonna try to get more studio time and everything. I think the direction I really wanna take is doing more freestyles, because I really like performing; that's what I wanna do more of, and of course I'm gonna do more songs. Plus, the video aspect has really popped off; you know, people just like watching that type of shit, the freestyle videos.

Yeah, I remember you dancing around in the video from the Letedra Bal4head, with you dancing around in the rain, that was just entertaining as hell.

[Lou laughs] Yeah, you know, I just had a lot more time back then, but now I'm so busy. I had so much more time back then when I first moved to San Antonio, no one was was really paying attention to me. But now, I'm just trying to get everything together; but I intend on doing more videos here when I get the time.

Where do you get most of your samples from? A lot of the samples are just so bleak, but I can't tell if they're taken directly from other musical outlets or not. At times I can't tell if you screwed the original sample to a crawl or if you happened to record a choir of dying angels. I mean that in the most complimentary way, too; a choir of dying angels is pretty epic.

I used to do soul beats, but now, I just sample a lot of New Wave, a lot of 80s artist from the French scene; those voices, those instruments, they're really the type of thing I'm looking for. Like I used to be a really big fan of Prince, so that's the time period I really look for. I go to a lot of different places to get like 25 cent CD's, you can find a lot of shit. I do like vinyl, but it's just a lot easier with CD's, plus they were more popular during that time frame I was looking for, and you know, no one's really mining that period. Plus a lot of the homeboys know the type of music that I like to sample, so they find stuff and bring it to me.

You've worked with some fantastic talents, and all of you continue to keep pushing out great music on a seemingly daily basis. Who're you working with now? Who do you really want to work with that you haven't had the opportunity to yet?

Well, right now I'm working with Western Tink; he came down here for SXSW. We did some songs, shot some videos. I really like him, think he's got a lot of potential, so I want to push him. He's really got a good sound, a good ear; I mean, some people don't like he raps, they think he's too basic, but he really get a good point across. Squadda B and the whole Green Ova crew, they've shown me a lot of love, so I'm really just trying to fuck with me. Pretty much Lil B too, man; I'm grateful that he's been working with me. That's pretty much it; I mean, I got Sed the Dean from Ohio, and Sam Rubik outta Brooklyn. They both pretty much hit me everyday, and I like their shit, I'll put it out.

And I'm really trying to fuck with Soulja Boy, man; I like that you write a lot about Soulja Boy, dog. There's just something about him; just the way he writes a hook, they're just so catchy. Even when he's just fucking around, he can't help but write a good chorus. I was really hoping the Lil B connection would help me, he said he'd send some stuff his way, but I don't really have an email for him.

But yeah, I really want to work with a lot of local talent; I like looking at the local scene, like K-Dog productions, it's got a lot of potential. It reminds me a little bit of the Dallas scene from like 07, 08. It's just the scene moves so quick; y'know, it's not like the scene has really moved, I dunno if you listen to much Dallas music -

I used to listen to Tum Tum's album a lot when Caprice Muzik was popping, but that's really as far as I go.

Yeah, I used to stay like right down the street from T-Town Music where Tum Tum was signed. I used to play beats for him - a lot of my older shit, my early shit. It was pretty wild, I hung out with him, a lotta local dudes; it was just fun being a part of that when that was starting to blow up. Like Mr. Pookie, Mr. Lucci, that was from around the way, around Simpson Grove, just being able to see them on TV, it really influenced me, anything that I really did.

Random as hell, but I need to hear Beautiful Lou laced Brick Squad with some beats, man.

Shit man, a big reason I even got into your blog was how much you were writing about Gucci. Like, he's one of my biggest influences, especially with the Burrprint [3D]; and he'd be like, the number one dude I want on one of my beats, dog. Like, even though I don't think it's his style, I think he can really come out of left-field. Like shit he does, like Anti-Social, all the singing and shit, I love that shit, man. But yeah, if I could get one rapper on my beat, it'd be Gucci.

Yeah man, Gucci's my favorite rappers, I've been listening to him and writing about him for way too long, taking it way too seriously.

Yeah man, but there is a lot of layers, and no one else really appreciates that shit. Like, that's why we're fucking with you and the other blogs, because no one writes about that type of shit, I don't think anyone else sees it. Like, growing up around those lyrics, I was always wondering "how come no one's into this shit?" Like everyone is all bigging up deep lyrics, conscious music, that shit, and I'm not trying to be too harsh on it - but no one's really paying attention to what we're doing. Just talking about money and riding around smoking weed in a creative way, just having a good time over crazy beats and shit. To me, Gucci like epitomizes that shit - I could go on about that for days.

I think that's the type of thing I wanna hear on my beats, you know, even though my shit is dark and ethereal shit, I just want people to talk about money, and just talking shit on my beats, just because it's such a great contrast to the beat. Like, all that shit, I listen to that shit all day.

With Lil B blowing up and being all over MTV, opening the doors even further for original, somewhat ambient producers/rappers like you, I've gotta ask; do you have dreams of ever going mainstream?

Shit, I'm glad just being local - even though I'm on the blogs, on the Internet, that's cool too. Like, I dunno if you read what I wrote, but I wrote that I used to just read rap magazines all day, just reading XXL and the Source at grocery stores when I was a kid. Like, the blogs are like the new magazine to me. I mean, I'm not gonna say that's good enough for me, but it still really trips me out. That's really all I got into it for at the first, just dreaming about you know, one day making it in the magazines. Even though it's really hard to make money outta music right now, it's just important to me to be talked about, to be a part of hip-hop history. Like you guys are really archiving it, putting it into context for everyone. Just getting recognized is all I need - I mean, I could make some money, I've been getting offers and everything - but just being talked about is enough.

#beautiful lou

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prince-toffee · 4 years

Text

Five Minutes

A sacrifice fic just to prepare for the inevitable.

(Sorry if there’s any grammar errors, I don’t care, I’m tired, ok I do care, consider this a first draft, I’ll fix it if something’s up.)

“What’s there to talk about?” Despara quirked her brow at her brother’s question.

“Well, we’re clones, we don’t get this lucky. We’ve got five minutes to make up for all the decades of silence.” Modulok articulated.

“You didn’t have to come with me.” He didn’t even look at them as he spoke, face down, staring at a small purple crystal in his hand, which he used to fugit with to ease his nerves.

“I am your general. I stood at our brother’s side, you were mere soldiers, pawns. I deserve this pain, not you. You could’ve- you should have had normal lives.”

“I remember.” Hordak stated. Never again. Never forget.

“Yea, losers.” Despara nodded.

“Losers.” Modulok and Vultak said at the same time.

“...Hmmmhehehahah- HA!” Modulok covered his face to hide his ugly laughter, forgetting about the other one expressing the same emotion.

“Mode, what the hell now?” Vultak asked, a smirk creeping up on him.

And now he’s nothing. He is now dead. Hordak found that he began to enjoy poetry and it’s irony more and more, in a twisted sort of way. Truly clones.

“Worried about being sent to the bad place, V?” Modulok asked, weak smile wearing.

“Mode... If there is good and evil.

And good is better than evil.

God has to be good... Right?”

“I suppose so.”

“So, are we good? Are we... like him?”

“What do you think?”

“I think there’s no such thing as good or evil.

But it’d be nice... to be good.”

“You really think a timer would settle your nerves?” Moe asked unconvinced.

“I suppose not.” Dess admitted.

“I could’ve been with her.” Hordak spoke up suddenly in the middle of the conversation, honestly he was so quiet Despara forgot he was there, even though he was seated right next to her.

“What’d ya mean?”

But I didn’t.

I lied.

I left her.”

‘Why?’

“...Because it wouldn’t be me. Not me. A clone of me.”

This was their stance against that. Showing that their lives meant something. That they were worth something. They were worth the world, for that was what they were saving. The scale balanced out.

Hordak spent his last moments thinking, he didn’t realise he was thinking out loud, “Good? I think there’s no such thing as good?...

But it was nice...”

What ever this was. What it meant. What it was worth.

Ding-dong! The witches are dead.

#just reposted this cause I had nothin for hordak day #didn't know we were having one #hordak #entrapta #entrapdak

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clansayeed · 4 years

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Bound by Circumstance ― Chapter 14: Things Better Left Unsaid

PAIRING: Nik Ryder x trans*M!MC (Taylor Hunter) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Circumstance ⥽

Taylor Hunter (MC) has made it good for himself in New Orleans; turns out moving to a new city fresh out of college to reinvent yourself isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Things only start to get confusing when he finds himself the target of a malevolent wraith. Good thing someone’s looking out for him though — because without Nighthunter Nik Ryder as his bodyguard he definitely won’t survive long in the twisting darkness of the supernatural underworld he’s tripped into.

Bound by Circumstance and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the book Nightbound and the rest of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Circumstance only loosely follows the events and plotline of Nightbound, and features a separate antagonist, different character motivations, and further worldbuilding.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Circumstance/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Taylor gets answers to questions he didn't know he had to ask. It seems to be an entirely unnecessary divergence from the main quest line.

[READ IT ON AO3]

Not gonna lie — it’s pretty damn validating when Elric, too, gives Nik a look of utter incredulity at his claim.

Only that’s a scarily similar look. One he could only recognize in the mirror. The same high arch of the right eyebrow; the way he blinks rapidly in sets of three.

Its the least dignified look he’s ever seen on the Fae Lord’s expression — honestly the least dignified he’s seen any fae look, which humanizes them in a way Taylor didn’t know he needed in order to make everything around him less mind-blowing — and its so very fucking Taylor-esque. Does the exact opposite of what its intended to do and actually makes him start to consider the ‘What If?’ of the matter.

Lady Thalissa finally takes in a deep breath and turns away from the balcony railing; joins in on the discussion with otherworldly intensity. This close to the roaring waterfall below her hair billows in the freeze like living flame.

“Elric has shared with me in Living Memory the events of the attack. And while I too find this… being —” the word comes out with a different intention than how it sounds and the Lady of Lamrian offers him a nod of her head in pardon, “— to be of strange innate power, I must agree that you have come to the wrong conclusion, Nighthunter.”

But, like with all things, once Nik has made up his mind he refuses to back down.

Taylor wishes that he would just this once. Especially since both of their lives grow increasingly at risk.

“Why else would the bloodwraith go after Taylor in the first place, if not for his connection to a stronger power?”

“Why should it concern us?” She counters with, what Taylor believes, is a very good fucking point.

He can feel Elric taking him in on a level deeper than physical out of the corner of his eye. He’s seen the power this guy is capable of — doesn’t want to ask him to find something else to stare at for risk of earning that ire.

You know what he wants to know?

He wants to know why himself and Elric both are letting someone else do the arguing for them. Why they can’t just say “nope that’s bullshit, no way I’m your long-lost kid, especially since you’re an immortal being and I’m a moderately decent stage actor from Middle-of-Nowhere Midwestern America” and be done with it.

But he knows the answer. Knows it the same way Elric knows it — in the fashion that unravels their quickly-constructed barrier of impossibilities without even trying.

“I’m not even gonna try to give you an answer on that one, lady. Er — My Lady.” Nik hastily corrects, but the noblewoman doesn’t seem too bothered by it. “But just like you can’t deny that thing is coming for the big faces in supernatural city politics, you can’t deny that this — them — might just be the missing page we’ve been looking for.”

The look she gives him says I very much can deny it you insolent human, so much so that she doesn’t even need to speak it.

Instead; “Perhaps you are not on the wrong path. Perhaps, in an occurrence more rare than the birth of a phoenix or the perfect alignment of all the stars of Obidyanix, a halfling was born to a mortal mother.

“But to imply that sheer happenstance would dictate that child be of my husband’s blood —”

“Your hands are unburnt.”

Thalissa falls silent at Elric’s first words since his surprise at the arrival of two outsiders into his Hall without his knowledge.

On sheepish instinct Taylor goes to shove his hands into his jeans — instead finds them tugged forward by an invisible force, some kind of magic, and hovered over with the pale fae’s own. Like a sphere of glass keeps them from touching. He marvels at them the way anyone might marvel at seeing hands for the first time.

The pad of Elric’s thumb strokes over the lines of his palm and though they aren’t touching it sends a shiver down Taylor’s spine. Feels a little bit like satin. “In such shock as I was upon seeing your impossible act at the Council Garden, I did not take into account your preserved hands.”

It’s just creepy enough that Taylor is frozen; caught between wanting to pull away and fearing the repercussions of actually doing it.

Thalissa rests an olive hand upon his shoulder, a ballad of confusion written in the emeralds of her eyes. “My Northern Moon…?”

“Did he tell you Taylor threw fae grimfire?”

Nik startles her attention back to him. There’s nothing haughty in the way he says it. No victory to be found. Just — what he believes to be — truth and certainty.

“You speak of a sorcerer’s imitation.”

But Elric is the one to dispute her this time around. “No, my Western Sunrise, he does not.”

“But —”

“I saw it with my own eyes. A Living Memory to give to you when this is through. This one,” he covers both of Taylor’s hands with his — that same force he now recognizes as magic making them fold together, “carries the touch of the Fae. And that is only what we know.”

Nik answers his unspoken question; “The only thing that can’t be burned by fae grimfire is a fae. No protection spell in Ivy’s arsenal would keep you from that kind of power.

“That’s when I knew, you know.” Head cast down, Nik suddenly can’t look him in the eye. “I played it off because… because I didn’t have any proof. But that wasn’t fair to you, Rook.”

So much was going on after he came back to consciousness at the Shift. Between feeling as nauseous as he did and then the whole ‘my mouth and your mouth doing the tongue tango’ fallout; topped like a bad dessert with Vera’s panic and what happened to Tonya? The fact that he could remember everything that had happened today in order was kind of a miracle.

Who had the time to think about why his fingers weren’t crispy chicken tenders?

“But —” — because if no one else was going to try and argue this then he’d just have to do it himself — “— I mean… this is nuts! I think I’d know if I were — and anyway my dad was an accountant from Kenosha!”

Smooth defense there, buddy. Because so far Thalissa is the only vocal opposition and even she gives him a look of is that all you could come up with?

With a reluctance Taylor can feel in the places where skin ought to meet skin Elric pulls away. Folds his hands together where they are swallowed up by large and delicately embroidered sleeves. The Lady leans against him and he brushes a ghosted kiss to her temple.

“Bitter moments and hours have been lost on the debates of halflings and their parentage before. But Nighthunter, it is the vehemence of your conviction which draws inquiry. Explain how this pertains to the blighted creature haunting our lands.”

Nik’s teeth grind together. “From the day I was hired I’ve been tryin’ to figure out just what he’s got that that thing wants. What a kingpin like Carlo and someone as powerful as Denna had in common with a human who didn’t know lick, or ain’t so much as been within three degrees of our world.

“Then it attacked the Beau-Keyes. Picked everyone off one by one. I punched a few good holes into it just the other night but it couldn’t have cared less about me, about Kathy — it went after power.”

Elric nods slowly; takes it all in. “First the Wolf… then Tonya.”

“The Rookie was right there but it wanted something else. I ain’t fully convinced it went after him at the end… it seemed a lot more focused on you; the oldest thing in the city, and the vampire.”

“You evade the point.” Even frustrated, Thalissa’s words come out like a melody.

“My point is why go for half when you can have the whole thing? You said so yourself, Lord Elric; once a bloodwraith’s been sicked on something nothing short of its goal is gonna stop it. So what if it doesn’t have a person as a goal — what if it has a type?

“You asked what the odds were of Taylor sharing blood with not just any fae in town but the Founder and Protector of the Lamrian Colony. I’m gonna say they’re pretty damn high — right up there with whatever forces at play put me in his way in the first place.”

There’s always been a certain aura of ‘the Chaotic Dumbass’ to Nik, though maybe he’s just projecting to keep himself from being put to blame. But this — this is a whole other side of the man he’s never really seen—or noticed—until now.

How long had he been thinking about this? Was it all a ruse and he was actually pulling it out of his ass? No… its probably pretty hard to successfully bullshit a fae as old as he is important.

There’s very little doubt in his mind that Nik actually believes everything he’s selling. And its convincing enough to have them all listening; all… considering.

“But that’s not why we’re here.”

Uhm… isn’t it? But Nik doesn’t give him the chance to speak. “This — all this family stuff — this is a courtesy. Because you’re a powerful figure in the community and I respect that. But we ain’t here for just that. We’re here as a warning. Because its still out there. How many people does it have to go through before it ends up lurking at the edges of Lamrian’s wards?”

Elric actually seems haughty. “Our wards are impenetrable.”

“And a guy like you seems likely to get tired of being confined awful fast. You’re really just gonna wait the thing out?”

“If we must.”

Thalissa nods in agreement. “Lamrian has always endured.”

“Can you say the same for its people?” Nik nods down below the balcony as he speaks.

Towards the hundreds of glowing lights in the darkness; lamps glowing pale pinks and yellows and blues bobbing in the air as the fae who carry them migrate away from the Lord’s domain and out towards the funeral procession they had interrupted in the first place.

The guards who had been killed by the bloodwraith at the Beau-Keyes. They were being mourned by not only their rulers but by their entire community. It was a sadness in the air that permeated through the beauty of Lamrian — spires of impossible age and design unlike anything Taylor had ever seen on the back of the brightest and clearest night sky.

He couldn’t have imagined something like this in his wildest dreams. And yet it was so hard to truly appreciate because of the loss that was felt in every cobblestone, every winding string of ivy crawling up, up into the clouds and their oblivion.

The Lord and Lady, too, watch their people sing the songs of the fallen. A glittering tear falls down Elric’s cheek.

When Nik continues his voice is rougher; thicker. He isn’t spared from the emotions demanding to be felt in their full power.

“You’re a good man, Elric — and a better regent. You really care about your people, but how long can you keep them safe here when they’re already such a big part of the mortal world?”

“Tilly doesn’t seem like the type to run and hide,” Taylor finds himself saying, “and Garrus…”

“Garrus is no longer welcome among us.” Thalissa practically snaps. Looks ready to give another piece of her mind when Elric’s hand falls over hers.

“What is the pettiness of an old grudge compared to the lives of our people, my Western Sunrise?”

Old as they may be, having lived lifetimes Taylor’s not sure he could comprehend right at that moment; they’re still affected by loss. Not just in ceremony but in a heavy way.

And yet they still won’t do anything to help? It’s a bitter irony.

“If you’re just gonna hole up here and not even consider helping, then no amount of pleading on our part is gonna actually make a difference.” Taylor grabs Nik’s arm, catches Elric’s eyes with one last look of disappointment. “Let’s just go. Maybe the Garden Coven is the answer after all.”

“That’s all well and good, Rook, but we kinda need them to get outta here.” Right, that makes sense.

They’ve wasted enough time here.

Its the dramatic act of turning and leaving that’s supposed to prove the point, that the ones who are staying are the ones really turning their backs on everyone.

Thalissa makes a gesture with her hand and an armored guard rounds the corner of the balcony; ready and waiting to be summoned. “Prepare a portal for our guests,” she addresses him somber and solemn, “and when they have departed we would ask you to go over every fiber of the wards to ensure Lamrian’s safety.”

The guard bows and departs. A jerk of Nik’s head means they ought to follow, but something heavy keeps him from doing so. Not just in his feet which feel like two anchors are fastened to his ankles, but something that makes the air that once was crisp and a refreshing change now feel thick in his chest.

It makes sense for Nik to have hoped an appeal like ‘long lost child’ would spur Elric into action. Whether he’s just pulling legs or actually means what he says. He’s seen it done in plays and epic dramas and normally it works because… well because normally even if its a lie at first it ends up being the truth.

There’s no fucking way this is the truth.

“While I would not risk the lives of my people again, I would wish you luck.”

When he looks back at Elric the man’s hand is offered to shake. It’s funny, almost. Humorous at least. So uncomfortably human in gesture that the longer Taylor hesitates to take it the more he seems unsure of whether or not he’s performed the right action.

And he doesn’t want to take it. Wants to make some kind of point by refusing. But if, by some actual impossibility, he had seen something familiar in the Lord moments ago…

He breaks the invisible glass sphere — the barrier between them — and shakes Elric’s hand firmly.

He hasn’t crossed the barriers between his realm and the realm of mortals in nearly half a century.

Would not even have noticed the passage of time if not for wistful sighs that turned into the insistence of his beloved soul-kind, his Western Sunrise, that he walk among them and remember what it once felt like to gaze upon mortality with wonderment and delight.

In the strands that weave together the universe he knows they were once part of the same creation. Even among the fae that is a rarity to encounter. Even more so to stay at each others’ sides as they have.

That she chose to abandon their world and walk with him among the places where only the lost dare to be found… it would be impossible to ask for such love and devotion — only for the trouble he would have bringing a request like that to his lips.

Each night he walks through throngs of fumbling children — even the oldest of mortals are still so very young in his eyes. And when they see him they know it, too. Despite the dull flush this glamour gives him, they know he is different than they are.

That the look in his eyes comes from the pain of loss and the pleasures of discovery.

In most of them it incites a feeling — an instinct. One to let them revel in his beauty but keep their distance.

In her…

It was as though on the day she came into the world that instinct was taken and turned on its head. Where others retreated she sought to dive in deeper, further. The act of pursuit so foreign to him that he wondered if she somehow had a touch of the fae inside of her and did not know it.

She was greedy in the way immortal creatures were greedy; demanding of the world to let her feel and accepting nothing less than every emotion there could possibly be in the universe. So unlike the rest of her kind. A single rain drop able to flood the desert.

There was little doubt in his mind that if she had the power to shape the stars to her whim she would carve out entire stretches of sky with the stories she had lived, wished to live, and would live before her time was done.

She prostrated to him with an open breast and he took. Shamelessly. Even now he remembers her soul brighter than the suns of the homeland he now walks only in Living Memory.

In memories like these.

But to see a soul is to eclipse simple, tangible things. The indent of her cheek when she smiled. The strands of gold she wove together and called hair. A silvery streak over her knuckle called a scar. The curl of peach-painted toes in ecstasy.

He sees it now, too. As if the very veils of reality have been drawn back with a startled flourish.

Not in the mouth, hair, or toes. But in the part he had forgotten; had wanted to forget — has no qualms being honest with himself. Because compared to those of his kind they are far more dull, far more revealing of their frail limitations than they would like to think.

Her soul rests in his eyes.

When this is all over, if he’s still alive to see The End, he’d like a few answers.

A perfectly reasonable request.

And yeah, its a bit of a shock to them both… but it doesn’t change anything if Elric isn’t going to help.

Maybe one day he will be more than forgiven. Maybe one day he will understand.

“Yeah, doubt it.” Taylor answers aloud — pulls his hand away from the fae’s touch and the world of Lamrian, still with a beauty beyond compare, goes dull around him. If that’s what life is going to be like now knowing what he knows…

“The gateway is ready, My Lady,” calls the guard behind them.

With a finality Taylor glances between the Lord and Lady; she who now looks between the other half of her soul and deeper than just his human body with a new revelation. There’s almost an apology in the crease of her ginger brow.

She opens her mouth to speak — but either can’t find the right words or simply doesn’t want to bring them to light.

“Thank you for your time. — And we’re sorry for your loss.”

He’s tugging Nik along then. Doesn’t give him the chance to say much but from the looks of it there’s nothing more to be said.

Nik was right.

But Elric, Thalissa — they still won’t help.

So it doesn’t matter, does it?

The guard leads them back to the main hall where they entered. Now empty of the mourning congregation from before. The portal is like Tilly’s; created by the hidden place between a curtain of rich velvet reaching all the way up to the top of an archway made of polished amethyst.

The noises from behind it should echo through the hall’s every hollow space but it doesn’t. It waits until they’re mere breaths from stepping through and Taylor only notices because of how jarring the sounds of a ringing landline and crackling of a PA speaker sound in comparison to the medieval space they occupy.

Just like last time he takes the first step. Worries deep deep down that if he doesn’t he might never — might try and stay and not just to convince them to help, either.

There’s no curtain on the other side this time around; no veil between worlds. Just a doorway already open and the hospital lobby in a lull beyond.

Before Taylor can beeline for the sight of Cal, Cadence, and Katherine having rejoined them, a familiar hand grabs his wrist, tugs him aside until the lobby fluorescents are a far-off dream. Replaced instead by the darkness of a cramped facilities closet.

His eyes adjust in no time at all. He watches as Nik blinks away the light. Wonders silently and to himself if that’s something he inherits from his… from Elric.

Wonders if its a halfling thing.

But he knows why Nik pulled him in there. “I know why you pulled me in here,” and he really doesn’t want to talk about it, “and I really don’t want to talk about it,” because there’s more at stake than the secrets Nik has been keeping from him, “because I’m sure I don’t need to tell you there’s more at stake than any other secrets you’re keeping from me.” And because seeing Kristin again has reminded him just how high the stakes really are.

He doesn’t say that last bit aloud.

“Too bad,” like Nik’s just used to getting his way, “because —”

“Sorry—was I speaking English? I said no.”

Together they wait in breathless silence for someone to burst in and kick them out. He wasn’t exactly quiet. And the footfalls of rubber crocs and worn gym shoes are soft but not silent — they come and go and leave the pair alone.

He can’t help but bite out; “You know for the ‘brooding loner’ type you sure want to talk about your feelings a lot.”

“It ain’t for my sake, Rook.”

“Well if its for mine, you can cut it out. Because—because I can’t even begin to introduce how mad at you that I really am, okay? And for the record, Ryder, I’m a guy with a lotta words to say. So when I don’t have any its generally seen as not a good thing.”

And his skull might not be as thick as he makes it out to be because Nik does, indeed, fall quiet. Stares at him with all of the shadows from the light underneath the door casting on the hard angles of his face and he’s thinking, debating, trying to figure out the right thing to say but this might not be something that can be fixed by simple words. By an apology.

He might be finally starting to realize that.

“You…” he totally inherited the ‘wagging finger’ from his mother and not Elric, not Elric at all, “I mean, you get how I’m angry, right? Please tell me you get that because I don’t think I really know if I can find the words to make you get it.”

“I — I get it.”

“No you don’t!” He shoves the man back — or tries to, he’s solid muscle that Taylor remembers almost fondly and doesn’t move an inch — with gritted teeth and frustration. From a place of frustration he didn’t know he could reach.

“Okay. I don’t.”

“You’re damn right you don’t! Who the hell do you think you are? Where do you get off thinking you can just—just keep upending my life like this?! No—No don’t answer that, don’t you fuckin’ dare.

“Because you… you think you can just come into my life and keep messing with it the way you have been well. Well no. No more—I’m just saying no more. No more being chased, no more underground fights, no more fearing for my life and no more secrets!

“Christ… do you think she knew? Do you think she knew and never told me?” — where the hell did this come from? — “Do you think that—that every time I fucked myself up or every time I did something stupid she was just wondering how human I was? When I told her I was trans—did she think it was some dumb fae thing?

“You know all the answers, Nik, so just—just tell me if she knew.”

His hand flies over his mouth to contain his sudden choked sob like he hasn’t been practically shouting and if anyone was going to come in they definitely would have by now.

Everything goes a little blurry and tears sting in his eyes and then he’s wrapped in a person-sized vice and the smell of dust and dirt and Ryder fills his nose and he didn’t know how much of a comfort it would be until he has it. Doesn’t want to ever be let go.

“Did she… I mean —”

Its obviously not in the realm of questions Nik asks often. How he manages a couple of false starts before huffing heavy through his nostrils and decides to just stay quiet instead.

But he can guess where the man might have been going with it. Did she accept you? Was she supportive? Do I need to have a talk with her?

“It—hic—took her a bit. There were some therapists involved.”

Nik’s arms tighten around him. “She didn’t try to change you through that shit, did she?”

“No—no nothing like that. More… she and me — we had to find a way to talk about it that didn’t land me at a bar and her closing up.”

Taylor pulls back — tries to regain some semblance of the masculine facade — and there’s a sheet half-pulled off of the shelf nearest them in Nik’s offered hand. It’s a much-needed laugh before he takes it and wipes his eyes. “It wasn’t like it is in the movies, you know? I went in ready to tell her, ready for everything to be so black and white…”

But telling his mom hadn’t been the binary acceptance or rejection he thought it would be. It had taken time, and a lot of talking, and a lot of refusing to talk. Compromises that weren’t really compromises because there was always someone who got out of the deal a little more satisfied than the other.

Then something changed. He couldn’t tell you how or when exactly it happened but he was lucky enough to be able to look behind him in the small court room, to find her eyes in the small crowd, and in them find the courage to turn back to the judge and say proudly just why he wanted his name changed.

They went out for dinner after. At the hostess’ booth his mom had given her his real—and newly legal—name. And he knew everything was going to work out.

And those memories were still good ones. They were still important, still defined his journey. But if she knew…

No. If she didn’t know. If she didn’t know then this was just another thing to tell her. Another part of himself to bring into the light. Another secret between them — and that just didn’t seem fair. Not to Taylor, not to his mom, not to anyone.

Nik fidgets relentlessly in front of him. Arms at his sides, then hands in his pockets, tucked under his armpits, one in the coat pocket and one in his jeans. Like he’s only just realized he has hands and has no idea what to do with them.

“You, uh, you… better?”

Taylor nods; gathers the sheet up into a ball and chucks it in a laundry cart at the back of the closet. “As much as I can be — I’m still pissed at you, though.”

“At this point I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

“It’s not a joke, Nik.”

“I know Rook — I know.”

“So now what?”

Its a useless question; they both know the answer.

Nothing has changed. Elric won’t help. Kristof isn’t a likely ally, Isadora neither. Tonya is out of commission. And if the bloodwraith really is after creatures of power like Nik suspects then Taylor — and somehow Cadence — still have targets on their backs.

Now what?

Now… they just keep going down the list. There’s one last name to cross off.

#nightbound #nik ryder #nik ryder x mc #choices nb #playchoices #nightbound mc #mc: taylor hunter #cal lowell #oc: cadence smith #katherine nightbound #oblv: bound by circumstance #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

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tonguetiedmag · 5 years

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Interview: set it off

Kicking off the Midnight Tour Part 3 at the Black Sheep in Colorado Springs, CO, I had a chance to chat with Maxx Danziger (Drums) and Zach DeWall (guitar) of Set it Off before the first show of tour about everything from stand-out moments during the process of creating “Midnight”, to a near-death experience Zach DeWall once had onstage. Passionate about what this tour has in store for themselves and for fans, and with a lot to say about how the current era has offered significant and important changes for the group, the excitement from the pair about what’s to come was absolutely electric.

Spotify or Apple Music?

Maxx: “I use Spotify.” Zach: “Personally? Spotify.”

I feel like a great icebreaker and a good way to get to know someone is by finding out what you’ve listened to most recently--I’m curious.

Z:”Ooh that’s a good one.” M: “Oh, I know what it is. I have a [playlist], It’s called ‘Good Vibes Bay Bay’. Every morning I listen to ‘The Power of Love’ by Huey Lewis and The News.” Z: “Mine is ‘A Night at the Opera’ from Queen, I just listened to that album today, because I was showing him [Maxx] that one of the songs--there’s this thing that British people do, they say ‘give us a kiss’, where they speak about themselves as if they’re multiple people--” Like in the third person? Z:”--Yeah! ‘Give us a kiss’ but it’s one person.. So I was showing him that he says ‘give us a kiss’ because I always thought that was funny, but I also love that record.”

What else have you guys been listening to recently?

M: “The new Miley is really really good. It’s very good, it’s got some edge to it which is nice.”

Z: “Waterparks just put out ‘Turbulent’ and that’s really good.”

So it’s the first day of tour, what are you guys excited about for this run?

Z: “For me personally there’s a lot. We have a whole new production going on that we’ve never had before, we have a whole lighting rig and a bunch of things that-- it’s just stuff that we’ve always wanted to do but the timing never felt right, or we never had the right budget for it. But we were able to make all that happen for this run, and it’s really exciting to see it all come together and to see the live show for sure.”

M: “We’re doing a lot of stuff that we’ve never done before this time around-- I don’t wanna spoil anything, but stepping out of our comfort zone a little bit, trying some new things and I think it’s gonna be cool, and we’re excited for it.”

I look forward to seeing it! So, you guys have been touring this album pretty much non-stop since ‘Killer in the Mirror’ came out, and you guys had that little promo run--how do you think touring the album now that it’s been out for a while and more people have had time to let it sink in compares to when you first started touring it?

M: “What’s crazy is-- we assumed people would already know the singles. So, when we were trying to make our setlist for Part 1 of the tour when the record had just come out, we were like: ‘I don’t know if we should put anything that wasn’t a single already, because what if they don’t know it, this and that’-- but we put ‘Criminal Minds’ on the setlist and EVERYONE knew the words. Everyone already knew it from then, so there really hasn’t been that much of a [difference]-- I mean they already knew all of the songs which is amazing. They’re SO dedicated, it’s insane.”

Z: “It’s been really cool too because we learned a lot from doing the ‘Killer in the Mirror’ tour and from ‘Midnight: Part 1’--we got a lot of requests from fans. We kind of took that information and decided where we were gonna go in the future with next singles and next releases. It’s actually really exciting because it’s way different to get feedback on twitter or instagram, [versus] in real life and in person, you can see the reaction and the excitement and you get a good judgement for sure.”

You guys have been on the road a lot and I know it can get difficult-- when it does, what do you guys do personally to keep a level head?

Z: “On the road? Honestly, it can get difficult for us, but I feel like me and him [Maxx] are very similar in that we live our best lives on tour for sure. I feel like it’s what I was put on earth to do-- touring and playing and giving people an emotion that they may not feel as often as other ones, so it’s really cool to be a part of that every single night. Going home is fun because I get to see my girlfriend and my cat and be home, and that’s always great-- but being on tour is a whole other feeling--Connecting with fans is just so great.”

M: “I think a big thing is having a routine.. You’re waking up in a different place every single day, so it can get really jarring. So, wake up, get some coffee, gear up for the day--” --Listen to your playlist! M: “Exactly! Yeah, listen to the same playlist-- some things to be constant things in your life kinda keeps you grounded. Like I said, I could do it forever, I love it.”

That’s awesome. Do you guys still get stage fright? Still get nervous?

Z: “I think that I do. But, y’know we have a few drinks to loosen us up and I think that definitely helps. There are times when we get nervous, like during The Killer in the Mirror tour we did some Warped tour dates, and those were definitely nerve-racking because we hadn’t put out new music in a long time and we had no idea what our crowds were gonna be. I mean, luckily they were sizeable and it was awesome to see. It was very nerve-racking because you don’t know what you’re gonna see when you go out there-- there could be 30 people or 100 people or whatever it is, and you just gotta put on that show. It ended up being great, but I guess I was pretty nervous and [had some] stage fright...On these tours and the Midnight tour it’s just been great, because Part 2 was a completely sold out tour which was frickin’ incredible, it blew us away. So we were very excited every night just to be on stage and know that we don’t have to ask what the capacity is, or how many tickets were sold, because we knew it was sold out.”

I saw you guys in Boston on that tour, it was incredible-- really enjoyed watching you guys. M: “I got stage fright on that tour because I had never done a drum solo before, and I’ve also never been the only person on the stage and it’s TERRIFYING, I don’t know how Cody [Carson, Set it Off vocals] does it sometimes. You’re just exposed--there’s nothing else to look at, so you’re like ‘what if I mess up? What if something happens?’--I got over that pretty quick after the first couple of shows, and then I was like ‘This is fun, I can do whatever I want, this is great’.

Do you have anything like that this time around?

M: “We’ve got a LOT of stuff like that this time-- like I said, I don’t wanna spoil anything, but we’re changing things up, we’re trying new things. I think all of us are kind of stepping out of our comfort zone for this setlist.” Z: “It’s exciting though.”

Have you guys ever had any terrifying moments onstage?

Z: “I’ve dislocated my knees on stage.” M: “And you electrocuted yourself!” Z: “Oh yeah I almost died in Burnsville, MN! That was crazy. We’re on digital amps now, but back then I was on your standard analog amp, and I guess there was a grounding issue in the venue. I used to have this finicky speaker cabinet and the wire would come out a lot, so I went to go wiggle it one time, and for some reason the grounding or something [was off] and it was so intense, I was being electrocuted, like I couldn’t move my hand off. Luckily, the force of being pulled in to being electrocuted knocked my foot off the stage so I was ungrounded and I could let go of the cable. My hair was like all the way up, it was crazy-- but I survived, I’m still here.”

What do you think is the most difficult song you have on this set for this tour? Or your favorite song? Z: “For me, difficult wise, I think it’s gonna probably be ‘Midnight Thoughts’, one of our more popular songs off the record. It’s just a very groovy, rythym-y part that I’m really exposed for in certain parts where I may be overthinking it in my head-- so probably ‘Midnight Thoughts’, but I’m also very excited to play that song because it always POPS.”

M: “Most difficult for me--so, I just recently started doing backing vocals for the first time, so I’d say ‘Hourglass’. Not because the drums themselves are difficult, but drumming and singing at the same time? And remembering all the lyrics, that’s a new thing for me. So, having all three of those things going on in your brain at the same time is taking a little bit to get used to.”

That’s also a lot of work physically!

M: “Yeah, it’s weird, you kind of have to not think about it at all and just hope that your muscle memory kicks in, because otherwise you’re gonna mess up and overthink it.”

What’s a song you wanted on the set that didn’t make the cut?

M: “On the setlist? I mean, there’s so many. We have four records out now, so on The Midnight world tour part 1, and part 2, we did a medley of everything, and I liked doing that just because all the songs that we couldn’t fit in we were able to. I like playing ‘Kill the Lights’ a lot--” Z: “Yeah! The first thing that popped in my head was ‘No Disrespect’ but we’re playing that--” M:”--yeah we’re playing that! We’re trying to slowly throughout this play all of the songs. I think playing ‘Happy All the Time’ would be cool, that would be a cool vibe live. ‘Criminal Minds’, I’m gonna miss playing Criminal Minds live. There’s so many, I could go on for hours.”

So you guys are playing Sad Summer, how do you think it’s gonna differ from other festivals you guys have played? What are you guys excited about? Z: “Man, I don’t know!” M: “It’s the first time they’re doing it so I have no idea what to expect.”

Z: “I mean, it’s put on by The Maine and Mayday Parade and I feel like those guys have been around the block many times. And I remember this being talked about a while ago, before it was actually done because we’re friends with both of those bands, so we’ve heard about it through and through-- I think they’ve done their research and I think it’s gonna go smooth for sure.”

M: “There’s a lot of really cool artists on there, and I think especially with Warped Tour now not being a full around the country thing, I think people are gonna be looking for that festival vibe.”

Z: “Bands are getting creative, and that’s really cool to see.”

I wanna ask you guys more about “Midnight” and it’s release--how did it differ for you guys from other releases you guys have done in the past?

Z: “There’s a lot to unbox. I think we really wanted to make a change. I think we really wanted to bring out a new version of the band and it was hard at first to have that conversation, because you have your routines and things you’re set in. With ‘Duality’ and ‘Upside Down’, we were all about the diamond and that pop lifestyle. But we were kind of missing our edge-- we missed it in ourselves, and we missed it in the music.”

M: “I feel like that was the first time--normally everything was always --not on cruise control necessarily, but it was always ‘go go go’. So we never really had time to stop and think about like ‘alright, what is this? What does it look like? What is this?” It was always just about ‘this feels right, let’s do this, let’s do that.’ That worked for a long time, but when we had some time off it gave us a chance to step back and deconstruct Set it Off and go, ‘alright, what makes us tick? What makes it different from other bands?’ I think because of that, we were able to really hone in on what makes us Set it Off, and what makes the entity itself what it is and I think that was huge.”

Z: “And with Upside Down that I didn’t mention, is that we kind of took our hands off the wheel for the first time ever and kind of just passed the buck to our team. ‘Here’s the keys, you drive the car, you make the choices’. And we didn’t like that--we didn’t like how we felt and where it took us, and we wanted to take control back and I feel like this record for sure is the most hands on we’ve been in a long time. Since we’ve been signed, probably.”

M: “Which is terrifying, but good.” Z: “It’s terrifying, yeah!” Well it was received well! Z: “Which is great, that would’ve sucked if it wasn’t.” M: “We were talking about it earlier, but when we released Killer in the Mirror it was one of the scariest moments for us, because we were like ‘What if they hate it? What if all the work that we just did, and all the time we put in, what if it just--they’re just not into it?’ And then it was confirmed on that warped date--it was like ‘Oh my God, they know the words, they’re excited, they’re here!’”

It was a great choice!

M: “Thank you! We love that song.”

Do you have a favorite moment or memory from when you guys were recording or writing that album that comes to mind?

M: “Yes. We actually put out a couple of videos of the behind the scenes and what it looked like. This was also one of the first times as a band where we weren’t on the same page as far as where we wanted to go. So, it was scary for awhile, because I didn’t know if it was gonna be resolved...and we sat down altogether and basically aired out EVERYTHING. What we liked, what we didn’t like, what we think we needed to do, etcetera. After that conversation, getting back on the same page and being like ‘we’re all for one, we’re on the same wavelength’--that feeling of going apart, and then coming back together was one of the best feelings I’ve ever felt.”

Z: “Yeah, it definitely made us grow closer together, too. There’s video footage of us at a restaurant, and you can tell--the tension is VERY high.” M: “And we didn’t know it was gonna get heated. He [camera crew] was just there and--” Z:”--we had a camera crew following us around for most of that record cycle. He was there and he was like ‘I’m gonna record this’”.

M: “He asked us if he could put it out, and we were like, ‘You know what? Yeah!’

It’s real.

Z: “It is real, and I think a lot of people appreciated that we could show them that side of it. I think a lot of people do think that bands are super confident, [that] they put their best foot forward and they don’t think twice about anything. When in reality, in 99% of bands they’re scared--SO scared about putting out new music. They have to put on a front of course....you have to seem confident at the same time. It’s just very interesting that we got to show that [other] side.”

You guys had some features on this album too, What was it like working with Skyler (Accord, Issues) and Matt (Appleton, Reel Big Fish)?

M: “So I was in the studio for a little bit watching him [Skyler] work. I always knew he was an incredible bassist, but I did not know how great of a musician he was, and how great of a writer he was. It’s always so cool to watch--it’s like adding a new ingredient. He started working on this vibe that I don’t think would have come without him. So adding that, and then putting in Cody with the flair to kind of balance off each other, was just wild to see. It was like watching brain waves playing ping pong with each other. I always knew he was incredible, but I have now more respect for him than I ever did because he is--I can’t say enough good things about the guy.”

Z: “He’s also hilarious. He’s just a funny dude. And that’s great for us, because we love humor and that back and forth--if you have a good back and forth with us, then you’re good, and he’s always so great.”

M: “And then we’ve worked with Matt Appleton from Reel Big Fish a lot in the past, he did horns for ‘Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing’ and things like that, so when we decided we wanted to do a sax solo, it was no question. It was like ‘let’s get Matt, that guys amazing!’ So we’ve always had a good connection with him, and he’s, again, just...SO good.”

Obviously this album hasn’t been out for that long and you guys have time, but what is next for you guys? What do you guys have in the works?

Z: “I think we’re trying to get right back in. I mean, I think we wanna take some time to digest everything that’s happened with the record, and figure out where we wanna go next with the sound, but I think we wanna get back in the studio, because, we’re really really loving what we’ve created, and we wanna create more of it. We wanna keep building this new Set it Off world that we have, and a new record is the perfect way to do that.”

M: “Through a bunch of weird reasons, we ended up having to stay home during the Upside Down era a lot, and I think because of that, now we wanna do the exact opposite. That’s why we’ve been touring so much-- so it’s gonna be nonstop touring, writing, more touring--just wanna keep going, and we’re riding the wave and we’re really enjoying it, and I think people are enjoying it as well.”

I’ve got a couple fun short-answer questions to finish up with-- what’s the coolest gift you’ve gotten from a fan recently?

M: There’s this- her tag is ‘dreamcatchingjade’-- Z: “Ooh, this too! We just got this today.”

Dewall held up a beautifully-detailed digitally drawn poster that had been gifted to them by a fan earlier in the day, showing himself, Set it Off vocalist Cody Carson, and drummer Maxx Danziger with their instruments paired with a dreamy blue background.

M: “Yeah that’s sick! Some of the artwork we get-- and Jade is one of those people, is...mindblowing. I mean, it’s just incredible.” Z: “Not only has she done like band stuff, but she also does like super personal ones, like pets, and they’re SO well detailed. “ M: “It looks like a photo.” Z: “I have no artistic talent when it comes to painting or drawing, so anytime I see anything, it could be stick-figures; I’m like ‘OH. MY. GOD. You are Picasso.’” M: “Not only that, but just thinking about the time. They took time out of their day to make something for you and that’s always pretty awesome, and we really appreciate it.”

What’s one song you can rage to no matter what?

M: “Rage to.” Z: “‘Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit.” M: “‘Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit! That’s a good one, I’m going with that as well.” Z: “We ALWAYS be going off to that.”

What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re not doing music?

Z: “Honestly for me, I love playing video games. Sports games--I love tetris, I’m a huge tetris fan. It’s real fun, it’s problem solving and you feel all satisfying.” M: “I like to hang out with my cat, that’s always nice.”

Someone asked me to ask you how your cat was doing!

M: “She’s doing really well! I think it’s--y’know there’s all this chaos on tour, and it’s all happening at the same time, but then I go home and she’s just like, ‘sup man, wanna take a nap?’ and I’m like, ‘Yeah I do!’ It’s so simple.”

What’s your favorite place to eat when you’re touring?

Z: “Cookout is up there.” M: “Cookout is really good. I eat at Chipotle the most.” Z: “Chipotle is a good one. It’s so consistent! You REALLY know what you’re gonna get.”

If you could jam with any musician for a day, dead or alive, who would you choose?

M: “THAT is a tough question.” Z: “Man, I’m not really that good at jamming. I’d be so nervous!” M: “I think--going off that, off being nervous I wouldn’t wanna go with a shredder or someone who’s crazy good, I think I’d go with John Mayer. I feel like it would be really inspired, but also a really chill jam session, so I could just relax. It would be nice, it’d be real lowkey, you know?” Z: “Yeah, it would suck if you got in there and they were like “A minor flat, GO! Play it now!’”

Tongue Tied has a signature question that we ask at the end of every interview which is, If you had to describe your music to someone who doesn’t hear, how would you describe it?

Z: “That is a GREAT question. I would say... energetic--” M:”Nightmode boyband! That’s would I would say. It’s got some edge, but it’s still got the pop.” Z: “Yeah! That’s really good.”

Cody Carson(lead vocals), who had wandered in while the interview was happening offered his thoughts on this final question as well.

Cody: “I wanted to chime in so bad!”

Go for it!

C: “I’d say ‘emotional’”.

You can check out the upcoming dates of “The Midnight World Tour: Part 3” here: http://setitoffband.com/tour.html

Check out Set it Off online: http://setitoffband.com/

Interview by: Liz Holland

#music #live music #concert #liz holland #set it off #interview #set it off interview #music interview #set it off band

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