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sydneysageivashkov · 2 years

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3, 11 and 18 if you're doing the books ask game :)

Curious about 18 considering your profession, and if that enhances the experience or makes it impossibly annoying

3. what is your favourite genre?

fantasy! and sci fi and speculative fiction in general. I love the escapism and the creativity of the genres

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

I haven't read a non-fiction book that didn't have to do with my dissertation since I started my dissertation 💀 my brain is still a little fried. I think tales from the haunted south by tiya miles is a great book for anyone interested in ghost tours. I'm also trying to build up a little professional library and first on my list is queering the museum

18. do you like historical books? which time period?

okay so I've got a lot of conflicting thoughts about historical fiction in general. some writers will do enormous amounts of research and create really beautiful narratives with it, some people just throw pop culture knowledge at the wall and claim it's accurate. then there's the book I had to read in undergrad about a village in england during the black death that was literally entirely historically accurate, nothing happened that couldn't be 100% confirmed on historical record, and that was a terrible book (but at least partially because the historian writing it wasn't good at writing prose!).

shows like bridgerton (sorry to use a show as an example in a book ask) doesn't bother me at all because no one expects accuracy out of bridgerton even though it's set in a real historical period. then you've got game of thrones/asoiaf, which is fantasy, but markets itself as being accurate to the medieval period when it's not lmao and people do take it as historical fact even though it's set in a fantasy world! or like, there's this really well-known novel in australia called the secret river. to add a little more context, there was some very high profile debates between historians in the 90s/00s about the nature of the colonisation of australia: the (accurate) view that it was an invasion and involved massacres and dispossession of land and genocide, and the view that it was all good actually. some of these debates happened on live television, like really high profile; I got taught about it in high school. the author of the secret river once talked about how as a fiction author she could "be above the fray" looking down on these "polarised positions" and end the history wars by seeing the truth of it as a novelist and like no??? a novel, regardless of intent, can't get the magnitude or scale of 150 years of conflict across. henry reynolds was not a polarised position he was right god dammit!! representing your historical fiction as "the truth" when you haven't done enough research to realise that windschuttle is a fucking hack is just flat out wrong. (if anyone curious would like to learn more about the australian frontier wars, frontier war stories is a good podcast! some of the interviewees were actually active participants in the history wars)

but you know, while some historical fiction can really bug me, I've also loved a lot of historical fiction novels too. I don't have a specific time period. one of my favourite books, she who became the sun, is historical fiction (historical fantasy? because of the ghosts?) and I've got books on my shelves from periods ranging from ancient greece to 1920s china. it's all a matter of how it's done I guess

#...I think I've been sitting on that kate grenville rant for a while #probably since it came up in my history in pop culture class four years ago #ask games #thanks for the ask rapha!#I hope the ramble was coherent

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gravedangerahead · 7 months

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Ty for filling my dash with ghost Quartet

You're more than welcome! 🥰🥰🥰

Taking the opportunity to remind everyone that they made the ProShot available on YouTube:

youtube

#does your url have anything to do with thirteen tales of love and revenge?#thank tou for the ask ☺️#answered asks #rapha rambles #ghost quartet

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rapha-reads · 6 months

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I am 45 minutes into Jawan (reached thr big number in jail), and so far I have several questions ranging from "are you serious" to "what even the hell", and I cried three times because, hey, my father is a farmer and he's in deep debt right now, so, right in the feels. Shah Rukh sir, I need 5.000€ to help my Baba, if you're seeing this DM me shukran.

Anyway. I haven't watched a Bollywood in 3 months, it's good to be back.

#rapha talks #rapha watches movies #bollywood #bollywood movies #jawan #jawan movie #srk #shah rukh khan #my baba was deeply depressed this summer when he discovered my mother had been cheating on him #and then he got into debt trying to repair the well for the fields and he talked a few times about going in the woods to hang himself #so that sequence in the movie hit me very very hard #yeah I've had a very fun and relaxing summer and my autumn had been going just as well thanks for asking

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axeline5 · 2 years

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Are you excited about the Big Space Picture?

I am VERY excited about the Big Space Picture. It is truly mind blowing how big the universe is, and how many galaxies are out there.

That first image captures light that's been travelling for over 13 billion years before it reached us. That's almost 3x longer than our sun has existed. We've just seen a photo of galaxies that were born in the first few hundred million years of our universe.

And the clarity of it. A section of the sky that could be covered by a grain of sand held at arm's length, and we can see thousands of galaxies. Some with such distinct spiral or elliptical shapes. Some just faint smudges. Some ancient galaxies warped and stretched from the gravitational lensing caused by the large young galaxies between them and us.

There is so much there and this is, quite literally, just the beginning. We're getting another 4 images within the next hour or so. I'm so excited to see all the views the JWST will be bringing us, and to have my understanding of deep space and our universe expanded by it.

#Thank you SO much for the ask Rapha!#I've been distracted by life the last few days and the Big Space Picture mostly managed to sneak past me #But your ask gave me the nudge I needed to properly look into it #And I'm so glad I did (and therefore that you did)#Because it's truly incredible #Nothing motivates me to research and learn more than having the opportunity to tell others about something I find interesting #Thanks for giving me that opportunity Rapha 💜#Ask #JWST #Space

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glove23 · 5 months

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Hi Conner! Writing ask, let's gooo: 10, 11, 20, 22? :D

I already did 10 but thank you!!

11. Three tropes that are fine but overrated.

coffee shop au (ill read it but I'm not seeking it out)

No Magic Au (why. why do u take the cool bit out.)

modern au (WHY!)

i realize these are all aus. yes I'm a hater.

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

A lot of the time I have one Big project that I'm working on, something that is a lot of words or chapters, and then while I do that I also write a Bunch of little fic, drabbles and the like. Saves energy for the Big Fic but Im not stuck in just one mode and don't stagnate.

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

there's just so many ways it can happen and it's so fun to watch their reactions and that oh moment that we all love. something something soulmates I'll find you in any universe something something

#thank u!#ask #rapha-reads #ask game

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thegoldenlily · 6 months

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20, 40 and 80!

Heads Will Roll by Sum 41, My Boy by Billie Eilish, and Look At Us Now (Honeycomb) by Daisy Jones & The Six

#can you tell Billie was my number one artist this year oop #thanks Rapha #ask game #spotify wrapped

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harunayuuka2060 · 6 months

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Lucifer: Solomon, I believe that Diavolo has already given you a warning.

Solomon: I'm simply taking my friend back to our homeland.

Lucifer: What homeland? Devildom is their home now.

Solomon: Looks like you haven't received the news yet.

Solomon: I made a pact with this demon. They're mine.

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: Why are you addressing MC like they're a stranger?

Solomon: *gives him a sad smile* My friend has become a stranger.

Solomon: No affection towards anyone. They will only blindly follow their master.

Solomon: This is... what my friend has become.

Lucifer: ...

Lucifer: Are you telling me-

Solomon: You made a mistake. MC will never exist anymore. And also, please set Barbatos free.

Solomon: Since he has no one to protect now. *walks past him with MC in his arms*

Lucifer: ...

Michael: How did it go, Luke?

Luke: ...It's finished.

Michael: *smiles* Well done, Luke. *patting his head*

Luke: ...

Michael: Anyway, I'll clean up everything for you. So take some rest.

Luke: You don't have to. MC has been taken care of.

Michael: What do you mean?

Luke: Father instructed to not leave anything.

Luke: I did what was told to me.

Michael: ...

Michael: Raphael, you won't believe this-

Michael: ...

Michael: Raphael?

Raphael: Yes?

Michael: *he doesn't see the doll anywhere in his room*

Michael: Where are they, Raphael?

Raphael: Father instructed to not leave anything.

Raphael: Luke went here and found out about the doll, so he asked the other angels to burn it.

Michael: And you didn't stop him?

Raphael: I will never go against Father's orders.

Michael: But our plan, Raphael... What happened to our plan?

Raphael: ...

Raphael: You just have to let it go. Everything has ended now.

Michael: ...

Simeon: Thirteen...

Thirteen: Yes. I cannot sense them anymore.

Simeon: ...

Simeon: I'm glad...

Thirteen: You don't have to force yourself, Simeon.

Thirteen: You can mourn. I won't stop you.

Simeon: ...

Simeon: I will take my leave. Thank you for everything, Thirteen.

Thirteen: *nods* *and watches him walk away*

Thirteen: ...

Thirteen: That's better. *tears streaming down her face*

Thirteen: I'm glad for you, MC... But I will miss you so much...

*Somewhere in the human world.*

Raphael: You should never go outside alone. If I'm not here, lock the doors and windows.

Child MC: Where are you going, Rapha?

Raphael: To work.

Child MC: Okay. *smiles* Take care, Rapha.

Raphael: *nods*

Theo: Raphael, I want you to take care of MC.

Raphael: Father, didn't you-

Theo: Yes. However, erasing their memories is similar to death. Wouldn't you agree?

Raphael: ...

Raphael: Yes.

Theo: To avoid the same thing from happening again, I've set a condition that will never be broken.

Raphael: What is it, father?

Theo: No one should know who they are other than you. If any of your brothers recognize them, they will die, and their life will start over.

Theo: To protect them, they shouldn't be loved nor love someone too much.

Theo: Do you understand what I'm saying, Raphael?

Raphael: ...

Raphael: Yes, father. Thank you for trusting me for this task.

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me raphael #obey me michael #obey me theo

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pablitogavii · 5 months

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Can you do one where reader is feeling a little insecure abt her body (even tho it's perfect and she's stunning) and she says she wants to get a boob job or a bbl and gavi gets super dom and he gets a Lil aggressive saying no you don't need it (bc she is perfect) I think it would be soo cutee

Thank uuu<33

Forbidden

You just kept scrolling social media looking at all these models with their plum breasts and perfect butts. It was incredibly depressing to look in the mirror afterwards ... you looked like a kid compared to all of them.

"Are you insane!? Do you know what the recovery is for a bbl!?" your best friend told you one day when you mentioned in at college. She thought you were completely insane but she didn't have to deal with everyone commenting on her look on the internet. Not to mention she wasn't dating a celebrity all girls in Spain want.

"I'm home, mi amor!" Pablo walked in exhausted from the training noticing that you were way too focused on your phone to notice his arrival.

"Aii nena, what got all your attention huh?" he asked and you quickly turned off your phone where you were searching different plastic surgeries available nearby.

"Uff nenita, should I be worried???" he said and you shut him up with a kiss telling him not to be ridiculous since it was obvious that you were head over heels in love with him ...but how long will he want to be with you looking like this???

A few days later, Rapha walked to Pablo during training and pulled him to the side. He had an interesting conversation with his wife who told him about your questions.

"She asked her where to get work done???" Pablo made sure he understood and Rapha nodded explaining that it's often that women get insecure even though they look divine in the eyes of their men.

"Don't attack her Pablo, just try and get her to tell you herself" Rapha advised and Pablo followed his words hoping you would soon open up about this with him.

"Amor, venga aqui please?" he said sitting on the bed one evening while you were still finishing up your skincare. You walked to him and he pulled you on his lap with a kiss.

"Can you wear that lingerie I got you in Paris? I miss seeing you in it nena..." he said and you felt a lump in your throat ...you breasts barely fill the cups and despite Pablo saying he loved how it looked on you, it made you feel insecure.

"No ... amm... it's okay ...maybe another night Pablito" you tried avoiding the situation at all costs but he wouldn't let go keeping you on his lap.

"Que pasa contigo mi amor? Talk to me ..." he said and you looked anywhere but his eyes because you wouldn't lie but you can't say the truth either because it's embarrassing right now.

"Please, let me go ...I'm tired Pablo" you said but he wouldn't budge. Ugh sometimes you really hated when he was stubborn like this.

"You know I think your body is sexy ..." he said not able to keep it to himself anymore. He needed you to know how much he admires you from afar.

"Que?" you were a little taken back. Pablo was never much of talker, especially about intimacy, he preferred to show it all.

"Your breasts me vuelven loco ...they fit perfectly in my hands like they were made for me ...and your perky butt is perfect to be spanked ...and you know how much I enjoy doing that when you're mala ...hmmm but I know you secretly love when I squeeze in like this" he spoke slowly and seductively while squeezing your ass roughly making you fight an urge to moan.

"Pablito ..." you whisper and he kept his hands there for while until moving to hold your face and make you look in his eyes. He kissed you passionately and a little agressivly as well like he needed to to feel all his words in action.

"Listen to me, mi amor ...go put on that lingerie and let me enjoy what's mine" he said slowly releasing your hold and you jumped off quickly but still refusing to do what he said or talk about it.

When he saw you pull out your regular pajamas instead, he walked to the wardrobe and sat int he corner sofa.

"Don't be mala, nenita mia. Do what papi said!" he said sternly and you gulped looking at the lingerie in the box while signing.

"I want to get plastic surgery, Pablo!" you yelled it out and he sighed grabbing your hand rather roughly and pulling you to sit on his lap. You were once again trapped there and couldn't move.

"Now you listen to me, nena ...you are perfect and you don't need to get anything done! I don't want my things touched by anyone else or ruined with plastic surgery! I want you as you are ...perfect and mine" he spoke sternly and you held onto every word. There was no arguing with Pablo when he got dominant like this ...fuck you were also turned on so you decided to push your limits.

"But wouldn't you like if they were a little bigger Pablito???" you took his hand and placed it on your breast and he squeezed looking at your mouth longingly. You could feel underneath your butt that he was just as turned on as you.

"Dios ... they're perfect. Don't do it amor...por favor" he said helplessly at the end and you smiled kissing him passionately while he carried you to bed.

"Do you really like me like this Pablo?" you ask after a heated makeout session as both of you discarded your clothes on the floor enjoying every intimate moment.

"I don't only like you nena ...I love you just the way your are ...natural, divine and all mine. Si? Dime eso" he whispered into your ear kissing your weak spot leaving his famous marks all over your neck as you moaned.

"aaahh all yours Pablito ..." you half moaned and he smirked nodding his head while kissing you all over.

"Promise me you won't touch anything?" he said while resting between your thighs knowing how desperately you needed him.

"Porfavor ..." you begged hating being teased

"Promise me or I won't give it to you nena" he smirked knowing he is winning this battle.

"I promise Pablo! I won't do anything! Please give it to me!" you were yelling on top of your lungs and he was very proud of you in that moment. He will spend this night and the rest of his life showing you just how perfect you are for him ...just the way you are ❤️❤️❤️

#gavigif #gavi #fc barça #fc barca #fc barcelona #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavi x yn #gavi x you #gavi x reader

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thewordfortheday · 8 months

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In Exodus 23:25,God tells us that if we would just serve the Lord our God, He would not only bless our food and water, He would take sickness away from our midst.

God introduces Himself to us as Jehovah Rapha, The Lord that heals in Exodus 15:26. We see again, it is God’s nature to heal.

He is the Lord your healer. Let's trust that He will remove sickness from among us. Let's believe for divine health in our lives.

PRAYER: Lord, thank You for the promise of healing in my body. I ask You to remove sickness from my life and from the lives of my family members. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

#bible verse #daily devotional #christian quotes #bible quotes #inspiration #daily devotion #christian quote #christian life #scripture #bible

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devilmen-collector · 1 month

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The Fourth Realm

Ft. Klein (my MC/Angel AU), the Devil Kings (Beelzebub mentioned only), the Seraphim, Selaphiel, Bael, Bimet

Based on the Prologue of the Realm of the Seraphim

Angel AU explanation: in Angel AU, my MC Klein is a Seraph called Kleiniel. He frequently goes to Hell under the disguise of a devil with the name Klein to solve his sexual frustration. Even though it started as a purely physical and sexual relationship, Klein/Kleiniel managed to capture the hearts of the kings and nobles alike.

The devil Klein is thinking about a sexual brain rot he is having as he walks to the door of the Secret Club, which the kings have allowed him to visit whenever he likes, despite the fact that he isn't a noble nor a devil with a special position. That's the privelege he got for captivating the kings.

"I'm sorry, Sir Klein. You can't enter today." The guards at the door says as he stops Klein.

"What? Why?"

"The Devil Kings are having a very important meeting. They ordered us not to let anyone in."

An important meeting? If it's a meeting on Heaven, I have to hear it. Klein says to himself eyeing the guards and the door to the Secret Club.

"The Devil Kings have promised me that I can enter the Secret Club whenever I like. A promise is a promise."

The guards look at each other as they don't know what to do in this dilemma.

"One of you can go inside and ask the Kings. I'll patiently wait here."

"Then please wait here." One of the guards bows and goes inside the club.

~~~

"Your Majesties!" The guard interrupts the discussion and bows.

"Didn't I tell you not to interrupt the meeting?" Bimet says. "His Majesty Mammon and the other kings are having an important meeting."

"Well..." The guard falters.

"Speak." Leviathan says calmly.

"Well, sir Klein is outside the club and he wants to enter. He said Your Majesties had promised him that he could be in the club whenever he liked." The guard pants after letting the words all out.

"I never did." Leviathan says and scowls. He thought it was an emergency but it turned out to be a normal devil demanding his promised privilege. If Klein were standing right there, he would be hung immediately.

"I did." Mammon said.

"A promise is very important to devils. Let him in." Satan turns to the guard and says.

"Y-yes, I'll go tell sir Klein right away." The devil guard says and scurries out.

"You two know that this is an important meeting, even if you two did promise-"

"I know. But I also think it's a good idea if we have the opinion of a special devil who has no affiliation with any country." Satan says and he downs the liquor cup he's holding in his hand.

~~~

"Sir Klein, you can enter now." The guard says after returning to his position, outside the door of the Secret Club.

"Thank you." Klein throws them two gold coins "after your shift is done, go have a drink yourself."

It's always good to make connection. Klein smirks as he enters the club, while the the guards bow at him.

~~~

"Sorry for coming at an inconvenient time." Klein apologizes and comes sit between Satan and Mammon at the motions of the two kings. The waiter immediately hands him a drink. Leviathan eyes him suspiciously but Klein only smiles and waves at him. He also turns aside and greets Bael, who is here instead of the true king of Gluttony, Beelzebub.

"As I was saying before, we are going to attack the Realms of the Seraphim."

Klein nearly spits out his drink when he heard what Mammon just said. But he calms himself down before he could show a react that would be considered suspicious.

"The angels have managed to kill all descendants of Solomon, which means we can't have our contracts broken and we won't have full power. But we can't keep being in the passive."

"As we know, each Seraph takes it for his pride to kill one of us, plus Bell, that he finds most loathing."

Not me.

"Satan and his camp will attack the Gabriel's realm, Levi and his camp will attack Michael's realm, and Bael, please tell Bell and the Abyssos nobles to attack Raphael's realm."

"I can only hope I can find that bastard soon to relay the message."

"Alright, do we have any question?" Mammon asks as he looks around. Ultimately, his eyes fall on the uninvited guest of the meeting.

"Well..." Klein ponders. "What's about the realm of the fourth Seraph? I heard he rose up to become a Seraph after Lucifer fell and he has a mysterious origin."

Mammon smiles as if he has been waiting for the question.

"As for the fourth Seraph, he has no enmity with any of the kings. From the intel, it's the most silent realm of the four and the Seraph in charge will only open the door to receive other Seraphim and some Cherubim. But Tartaros will provoke him and try to find what triggers him the most." Mammon smirks after telling everyone his plan.

Trigger my ass. The Seraph you are talking about is right here. Klein is pissed but he keeps his expression under control.

~~~

Even though I don't like them, I better tell the other Seraphim. I also need to reinforce the barrier protecting my realm. Klein ponders as he walks. Suddenly, he collides with someone and nearly fell, but the other person managed to catch him.

Klein looks up and sees a devil towering over him. However, what makes him shaken up and his legs feel weak is the identity of that devil. Klein, or rather Kleiniel, knows the devil very well, although he only learned about him through books and paintings in Heaven.

L-Lucifer? God, he's much more beautiful than the depiction of those paintings. The cheeks of the fake devil become pink just looking at God's first creature.

"You-" Lucifer opens his mouth to say something but Klein shouts "eeek" immediately because Lucifer's voice is so beautiful that he immediately has an erection.

"S-sorry." Klein snaps himself back to reality and leaves hurriedly. Not good, not good, the Kings are beautiful and sexy but the traitor is on another level. If I'm not careful, my secret could be exposed.

The image of Lucifer still linger in Klein's mind when his six wings soar back to Heaven at a place far from the city.

However, it was because Kleiniel was having the image of Lucifer constantly in his head, he didn't notice someone following him.

So that's the new Seraph. Did God create him to replace me? Lucifer contemplates as he can't help but let the flame of envy spark.

~~~

The three Seraphim enter the chapel of Kleiniel's realm, which is the exact replica of the Sistine Chapel on Earth. The youngest Seraph adores the chapel. It was told that he even kidnapped Michaelangelo and other artists to force them to recreate the chapel as exactly as how it was on Earth. The Seraphim walk inside and find Kleiniel kneeling before the altar, praying.

"What did you call us here for?" Michael angrily asks, almost like he is threatening Kleiniel. After all, the three Seraphim never consider him to be their brother and they have never said anything good to or about him.

"The devils are preparing to counterattack." Kleiniel states as he gets up and turns to face the other Seraphim. "They will attack our realms. And each of you will have to face the one you find most loathing."

"Why should we trust you?" Michael questions Kleiniel. Out of a the Seraphim, his paranoia on Kleiniel is the strongest.

"As a fellow Seraph, I feel that it's a responsibility to give you a forewarning. And as a leader of Heaven, I feel that it's my responsibility to preserve the solidarity of the land God created. A city divided against itself shall not stand." Klein looks at every Seraph in the eyes to show that he's trustful with his words. But of course, I won't let you kill those devils.

"Very well. My eye beam will have to pierce through that coffin, sooner or later, with or without your intel." Michael smiles and leaves the chapel first.

"When I manage to kill Satan, maybe I'll finally be able to treat you as one of our own." Gabriel also smiles and leaves.

However, Raphael doesn't leave. Instead, he grabs Kleiniel's collar and begins to sniff him.

"You met him, didn't you? Our brother." Raphael asks while smirking. But Klein keeps his mouth shut. To him, the best way to deal with the accusation coming from Raphael is to neither admit nor deny it outright.

"I can't wait for what will happen when your secret is out. I wonder what kind of punishment those two will give you. If I'm in good mood, you can be my pet then." Raphael turns around and leaves with a laugh.

"Or maybe I could crush all three of you and have Heaven for myself." Kleiniel says after everyone has left. His hand is caressing his golden pectoral cross.

Kleiniel takes out his phone and messages one of the angels he knows he can trust.

Kleiniel: [Selaphiel, please help me spy on the devil kings and nobles, using every mean at your disposal. Report back to me every word they say at their important meetings.]

Selaphiel: [Of course, you know I will do anything for you.]

Selaphiel: [Emoji]

Kleiniel can't help but blush at the emoji because the person on the emoji is doing something very suspicious with his hands. But he doesn't dislike it one bit.

Kleiniel: [Sure.]

Selaphiel: :D

Klein puts the phone inside his pocket, turns around and kneels down before the altar again.

"Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on this unworthy servant of Thee. Glory be to the Incomprehensible and Infinite God, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen."

As he prostrates on the ground.

#what in “hell” is bad?#what in hell is bad #whb mc #whb mc: klein #whb leviathan #whb mammon #whb satan #whb bael #whb bimet #whb lucifer #whb selaphiel #whb michael #whb gabriel #whb raphael

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sydneysageivashkov · 6 months

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7, 12 and 13!

7 - The Brown Snake by Thelma Plum (lmao I swear to god I want to move and then this is my number 7. don't read into this.)

12 - American Teenager by Ethel Cain

13 - Only Wanna Be With You by Amy Shark (this song is so sydrian)

#spotify wrapped #ask games #thank you rapha 💚💜

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gravedangerahead · 5 months

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confused college kids!!!

It's a Sydrian one-shot (shocker), a college au that's basically just them talking during a study session for an art history test. In the current version (started last month) I'm making Adrian a trans girl, just because I wanted to do a half gender swap to make it gay, and making her a cis girl seemed cowardly lol

This one is a really good showcase of why I never finish anything actually. Look at those dates!

When I started this (AH College AU) it was supposed to be a drabble! As in a hundred words long!

The premise was just some conversations about mental health where I projected heavily and that I thought in an all human AU Sydney might actually kiss Adrian first

Then I abandoned it for like 2 years, and last month I decided to make it gay, and that gave me some new inspiration. Sydney was already demi in the original because she always is but you know. But making Adrian a girl brings some of their original dynamic back in an all human setting, and making her trans might put 5he mental health stuff in a new light that I need to think about. And I added some separation drama. Then I added a Hopper subplot and I need to decide if he's really gonna be a cat in this. Or if I should cut it. And I need to make sure they're coming off as endearingly pretentious kids and not just obnoxious. And that the serious conversations don't sound like therapy speak and feel natural.

It's now like 15 hundred words long which is, simultaneously, really not that many, 15 times as many as I intended it to be, and way fewer words than it's probably gonna be if it ever gets finished.

Me in a nutshell

#answered ask #rapha rambles #thank you 😘😘😘

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rapha-reads · 9 months

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@stelly38 asked me:

ooooh, that's going to be fun, thank you!!! Here we go. [Edit: this is going to be long]

Top 10 worst moments in American History

Alright, I'm French and Moroccan. American bashing is like, encoded in my DNA, lmao. Also I've studied History but I'm a Literature specialist, so.

10. the Kardashians. Why are you making us suffer these guys? Please stop. 9. Reagan's administration, how AIDs was handled. 8. the assassination of John Lennon. What the hell, USA? What did Lennon eve do to you? 7. the assassination of MLK. That one is unforgivable. And obviously, George Floyd, Emmett Till... Remember their names. 6. the imperialism in Middle East. That one is not just on you guys, but dammit, you are digging your own grave. And taking the rest of the arabo-muslim world with you. 5. creating Ben Ladden, the war in Irak. Do you guys realize that if Bush hadn't gone to Afghanistan and tried to imperialize it, we wouldn't have the so-called "war on terror" now? 4. the entire Vietnam war. Napalm and senseless violence and the constant glorification of war ever since. 3. bombing Japan. What the hell was that about, Truman? (aka you watched Oppenheimer this summer) 2. Trump. That was like. Globally traumatizing. The whole thing. The heck were you guys thinking? Macron is horrible but Trump was like, majorly nightmarish. 1. the colonization and genocide of the Natives. I know Colombus is not your fault, but everything that happened and keeps happening now. As another indigenous people (North Africa's original people, the Amazighs), I feel a great kinship with the Native Americans. Though to be fair my people has not been as exterminated and pushed back to the recesses of history like you. But yeah, I really think the most important conversation the US should be having today is about the Natives, their lands, their rights, their history, their culture, their justice... I think your country can only progress if it faces its own history and this history starts and ends with its native people.

Oof, let's get into something a bit more light-hearted!

Top 5 favorite songs ever

List changes all the time. Let's see the ones that stay always, the classic ones that almost never make the list because they've been with me for so long.

5. Renaud, Société tu m'auras pas. A classic from my childhood. Anarchist French angry song, anti-society, anti-capitalism... Used to jump and shout the chorus with my brother when I was under 6, visiting my paternal grandfather in the house my father grew up. 4. U2, Magnificent. There was a period in my early teenage years where my mother, my middle sister and I would often drive from the city to the village and back every other week-end, a sort of mini road-trip (60kms only), and we'd listen with my mother this U2 album. 3. Dire Straits, Romeo and Juliet. At this point, everyone who knows me a little knows of my huge obsession for R&J, that started when I was barely 10. This song is everything to me. Also Dire Straits is a shared taste with a part of my maternal family. 2. Manu Chao, Clandestino. My mother is a Spanish teacher, Spain is on the way between France and Morocco. Spanish's always been one of the languages spoken in my house, despite none of us being actually, you know, Spanish. Been hearing this song for as long as I can remember. 1. Anne Sylvestre, Les grands migrateurs. Anne Sylvestre is a French singer (she died this year) who did feminist songs in the 60s-80s, and also various tapes of nursery rhyme (kinda) for kids. This one is about migratory birds. I used to listen to these K7 all the time as a child.

Top 5 favorite desserts

I have a huge sweet tooth!

5. Lemon pie. 4. Red fruit cheesecake. 3. Apple pie. 2. Chocolat mousse. 1. Chocolate cake (marble cake, brownie, classic gâteau... If it's chocolate, it goes in).

#alright thank you for the list of asks that was actually helpful in getting me to stop freaking out #nervous breakdown avoided #replies #top 5 asks #rapha talks #us history #top 5 songs #top 5 desserts

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nights-flying-fox · 8 months

Text

Deep (Purple) Thoughts (and Realizations)

◇ Click here to read on AO3 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 ◇

Chapter 5: Talk It Out Donnie shares some information.

Word Count: 1743 | CW: manipulation (kind of??), self blaming (not donnie tho), mentions of genocide, survivor's guilt

(if you think i should add something plz tell me)

Controlling the Technodrome was an exciting idea at first. Donatello Hamato, the first person to fly a spaceship! His dreams from childhood were about to become real. Then he had discovered how disgusting it was. Icky, slimy, alive. The texture on its own made Donnie nauseous. But he could do it, for he was a genius, and this must not stop him. Not when he had said he could. Not when his family’s lives were on the stake. So, he had forced himself. With Mikey’s support the situation being a bit bearable. With every step it got worse. He had to use himself, not just his hands.

So, he let himself fall into the spaceship.

At first it felt as if he was being captured. Technodrome’s parts holding him, becoming a part of him. Then he had gasped. Connected. He had control. He knew everything! He could use it, protect his family and be powerful! He had knowledge!

With ease he controlled the Technodrome. He let it move according to the plan, protected Mikey. He knew why he was there and what he could do. But he wanted more. He could do more. He wasn’t just Donnie, he was also a spaceship. He was a genius with power and knowledge.

Donnie looked at the ground. “Except knowledge isn’t always good, it turns out.” He spoke. “Not when you can see what the Krang did.”

The silence felt too long, too heavy. He knew his family were giving him time, he appreciated it. And he wanted to tell them what happened. It was just hard. He felt his hand being squeezed. Raph smiled at him, supportive. Donnie took a deep breath.

“During my time connected with Technodrome I felt invincible. I didn’t care about what I learned. I... I even could understand why Krang wanted power.” He didn’t want to admit it. But he didn’t want to lie. It was what had happened, what scared him. “Afterwards it changed. Everything I knew, it was terrible. The planets they had taken over, the wars... I am glad we stopped them.” He didn’t want to get into the details. Not wanting to talk about how Technodrome was a corrupted thing, alive.

“Donnie...” He heard April whisper.

Before she could continue, he talked again. “The spaceship didn’t whisper or talk like in the horror movies. But it seemed to try control me too.”

“Control you?” Raph asked.

“It wanted me to join them.” Donnie replied. “At least that’s my guess.”

Another silence. He looked at them. Raph looking at him with understanding eyes, Mikey seemed to be worried, and Leo looked at him with wide eyes. Horror, guilt.

“Don’t blame yourself dumdum.” Donnie warned. He knew his twin well enough to stop him spiraling into self-hate. And not because they’d comfort each other when they had these moments of heavy guilt or self-hate at times.

“I shouldn’t have asked you to do something like that without knowing what exactly was it.” Leo said. “I am sorry Donnie.”

“Don’t.” He cut him off. “I wanted to do that anyway. It was an efficient information against the Krang as well.”

“You learned about their genocides.” Leo pointed out.

“Exactly. And that’s why what you did was insane, reminder.” Donnie glared at him.

Leo huffed. “Can’t even apologize and have a heartfelt moment without being accused with your past decisions.”

Donnie grabbed the pillow he was sitting on and threw it on his face. Leo yelped, “Hey!”

“You deserved it, idiot.”

“Rude.”

Suddenly Donnie was pulled into a side hug. He didn’t need to look to know it was Rapha. The big guy had that emotional look on his face. “Raph gets it, and he is very proud of you sharing this.”

“Thanks Raph.” Donnie said, relaxing in the hug a bit. He was still feeling the nervousness from remembering everything, but he didn’t mind Raph’s hug. It was comforting. Then he decided to ask something he was wondering for a long time, hopping it wouldn’t hurt Raph now. “When you were... you know... was it like that too?”

Raph took a deep breath. “Kind of?” He replied. Then voice a little quieter, and yet bravely he explained. “I didn’t see what you did see, at least not during my time like that, but my mind was empty and all I felt was needing power and accomplishing my mission.”

That was enough for what he wanted to know. Donnie decided to not ask anything else. “I’m sorry big guy.”

“It is fine.” He said. “Genuinely, I appreciate everything guys. You helped me a lot in the past weeks.”

It was true. Raph, unlike Donnie, had accepted help. Had admitted remembering parts of his time under Krang’s control, and that he had nightmares often. Raph didn’t want to tell them everything about that time, but he had shared enough for them to understand. Enough to get help. Maybe Donnie should’ve done the same.

“Is there anything we can do to help you Donnie?” Raph asked.

He still could, actually. “I...” He began, whispering. “...I don’t have nightmares but... there are times I fear I will feel like that again.” He admitted. “I can’t sleep.”

“So, this is why you spent hours awake during our turtle pile.” Raph realized.

Donnie nodded. Okay, end of the emotional stuff, right? He didn’t want to go into more details anyway. “That’s all from me. So, uh, we can move on?”

“You are terrible at this.” April shook her head with a smile. “But we can work on it. Right, Mikey?”

Mikey was uncharacteristically quiet. When all eyes were on him, he blinked confusedly, “Sorry, I was thinking something.”

“Something?” April raised a brow.

“Mhmm.” He was still fidgeting.

Nobody was going to let it slip, Donnie knew that. He was proven right when Raph smiled softly at Mikey, “Want to join to hug?”

Mikey looked at him with big eyes before nodding. As Mikey wrapped his arms around them, Donnie noticed his arms trembling slightly. “Is it your arms?” He questioned.

“No.” He replied.

“What’s wrong, big guy?” Raph asked softly.

Quiet. Then, “I should’ve done more.”

“What?”

Mikey snuggled more towards Raph, “I should’ve done more to help. Then none of you would’ve ended up this hurt.”

Donnie looked at Raph, confused. Raph looked back him with surprise. Before any of them could say anything though, Leo talked. “Mikey, what the shell are you talkin’ about? You literally broke some science law stuff to save my tail that day.”

Mikey turned slightly to look at Leo, “But I didn’t do anything like you did.” He said. “Raph got everyone safe, Donnie controlled a spaceship, April, Dad and Junior got Krang Sister, and you stopped Krang Prime!”

Everyone looked at him confused. “Mikey, you realize that without you I could have ended up be dead, right? Heck, we all would be, considering it is your future version who sent Junior back in time.” Leo said. “You even threw a freaking building at Krang.”

“...It still doesn’t feel enough.” Mikey whispered. “I am sorry, it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Actually, it does.” April interrupted. She turned to Shelldon who was watching them all silently the whole time. “I am not sure, but wasn’t there something about feeling bad for not going through something others did?”

Shelldon was quick to answer, Donnie feeling proud at how fast Shelldon could gain information on situations like this. “The closest match seems to be survivor’s guilt.” He answered. “Survivor guilt or survivor's guilt is a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic or tragic event when others did not.” He explained, reading an article he found. “Survivor’s guilt is a response to an event in which someone else experienced loss, but you did not. While the name implies this to be a response to the loss of life, it could also be the loss of property, health, identity or a number of other things that are important to people, is another definition from a different a source.” He added.

“Close enough, thanks Shelldon.” April turned back to Mikey. “Maybe it’s something like this?”

“Oh. How didn’t I think of this?” Mikey questioned with surprise.

“It’s okay, even Doctor Feelings can forget details.” Raph tried to reassure him.

“That’s why he should take a break.” Leo said. Then he proceeded to join the hug. “And you too. You did amazing back there, Mike. Don’t let your thoughts deceive you.”

“As an exception, I have to agree with him.” Donnie nodded. “You were very brave back there, Angelo.”

“Thanks guys.” Mikey smiled with teary eyes. “You are the best.”

April joined the hug as well, “So are you.”

Donnie was sure things were already better. Now only if his dumdum twin opened up too—

“Hey, Raph, if you don’t mind me asking,” Leo suddenly broke the comforting silence. “When you answered Donnie’s question… Is there something you haven’t told us?”

Donnie turned to Raph. If Leo suspected of something, it was worth to follow his lead. He was a good observer. Raph avoided to look at them, so it should be true that Leo was right.

“It isn’t that important.” He shrugged it off.

“Are you sure? You seem to be stressed about it.” April said, “You know you can tell it to us if it bothers you.”

Raph sighed, “I don’t wanna burden you guys with that. Really, I can handle it.”

“Okay… but don’t burden yourself.” Mikey reminded. “If it we can, we will help. Just tell us.”

“Thanks for the support, Mikey.” Raph smiled genuinely.

Mikey hugged him tighter as a response.

Donnie watched as Raph looked at the ceiling. He was considering. Donnie knew Raph would see nightmares that wouldn’t let him sleep. Raph was no night owl, it troubled him a lot. Even if he had tried to hide it, it would have been obvious. But Donnie had never thought there being another possible reason keeping him awake.

He held his hand and squeezed. A silent support, a reminder that they were here. Something the siblings would do when one of them was having a bad day and not being able to talk. Or when the world would become too loud for words. Or just when they wanted to remind each other they were by each other’s side without telling it.

After a moment, Raph squeezed back.

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pensat-i-fet · 1 year

Text

A different kind of proposal (Raphael Varane x Reader)

**Got a request to write for Rapha again and, you know, it’s such a sacrifice but I’ll do it just for you 😉 I don’t know how I came up with this specific idea but I think it’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever written so I hope you enjoy it 🥰**

Word count: 1857

Masterlist

Wattpad

"What are you doing?"

Rapha was startled by your words and closed the drawer so fast, he almost hurt his fingers in the process.

"You scared me. Why didn't you knock?"

"Do I need to knock to get inside my room now? I mean, the bathroom I get but the room? Afraid I'll see you naked?"

He laughed at your joke, still staring at the closed drawer on the bedside table. You noticed that but didn't want to overthink what could be going on. You trusted him.

"Should we order some food or cook?"

"Let’s order", he said. "I want a lazy evening".

"I'm not saying no to that but I have to shower first. Order for me, please. You know what I like".

I hope I do, he thought, looking at the drawer again.

After a couple of days, you forgot about that odd moment. So when you were walking around the room, talking to Rapha's mum on the phone, you just checked his bedside table without a second thought. It's not as if it was his solely. It was on his side of the bed but there were things that belonged to him on the one on your side too, so…

"Are you still there?"

"Yes", you said, staring at the little box you saw.

"Did you find it?"

Oh, you found that and more.

"Yes, it's here", you told her, picking the piece of paper with the phone number she needed and reading it our loud for her.

When you hung up, you couldn't help it. You had to open the box and what you found there didn't surprise you. It was an engagement ring. That was why he had been so weird lately. And when was he planning on popping the question?

You took the ring out of the box and tried it on. It fit perfectly and it was so beautiful. Not that you were surprised because if someone knew you well, it was your boyfriend. And…future fiancé? It sounded good to you.

Hearing the front door open and close made you panic and you took the ring off quickly and put it back on the box.

“Are you home?”

“Yes! I’ll be there in a second”.

You ran down the stairs and almost launched yourself at Rapha.

“Hi!”, he laughed. “Someone’s missed me”.

“I always miss you”, you said, staring into his eyes. “But we’ll always be together so…I won’t have to miss you much, right?”

He didn’t understand why you were saying that now, oblivious to the fact that you had seen the ring and were feeling very emotional at the moment. But he nodded and kissed you anyway. Because that was his plan too, to be with you for the rest of his life.

But a couple of days later, he got home early and you didn’t notice because you were in the garden with your headphones on. He was going to say hi to you when your phone rang and he stopped walking not wanting to interrupt you. It was probably a work call.

“Hey, Lils. Thanks for calling back”.

Oh, you were talking to your sister. Well, then he could approach you and say hi to her too.

“Yeah, I’m still freaked out after seeing the ring”.

She’s seen it?, he thought, scared of what your reaction could have been.

“I know. He hasn’t asked me yet, which is good”.

Why was it good?

“Yeah, I need to do something before he does. But it could happen any minute and I’m panicking”.

You could mean many things by that. Maybe you wanted to wear something special and planned on going shopping. You were really into your fashion.

“I know. I just know I can’t let him propose”.

Why would you say that?

Rapha didn’t want to hear more. It was going to make him feel sick. Why didn’t you want him to propose? You were happy, right? It had been almost three years of relationship with barely any bumps in the road. You rarely fought and…you were talking about always being together just two days ago. Had seeing the ring made you have doubts about the relationship?

Rapha decided to go upstairs. He needed to stay away from you for a second to think clearly.

By the time you made it back to your room, he was lying down on the bed with his arms on his face.

“I didn’t know you were here. Are you ok?”

You rushed to his side, fearing he was sick.

“Yeah, just feeling a little dizzy”.

“Do you need anything? Some water, food…I don’t know. Just tell me and I’ll get it for you”.

But he just stared at you. How could you look so worried about him while you were thinking about refusing his proposal to marry him?

“My love, what’s wrong?”

“I think I have a headache. You should leave me alone so I can sleep”.

“I could cuddle you. Maybe massage your temples”, you offered.

“I would rather be alone”.

His attitude surprised you but you guessed everyone was a bit grumpy when dealing with a headache so didn’t worry too much about it and left him alone.

But Rapha didn’t sleep. He kept hearing your words over and over again. “I just know I can’t let him propose”. Why?

He faked sleeping the few times you went to check on him but he knew you’d be able to tell he was awake when you joined him in bed later.

“You should eat something. I can fix you something quickly…”.

“I’ll go get it. It’d be good to move a bit”.

He left without even looking at you. Why was he so weird all of a sudden? It had to be more than a headache. But when you asked him, he said everything was fine. And you wanted to believe it but he was a terrible liar.

“Do you need anything before I sleep?”

He shook his head and you got inside the bed, instinctively moving closer to him to cuddle. And even though he stiffened a bit when you first touched him, he let go of that fear of losing you for a second so he could enjoy the moment. He didn’t understand why you said what you said, but he could feel how much you loved him. And that had to count for something, right?

Things were slowly going back to normal but you could still feel Rapha being a bit distant. You just didn’t understand why and he wouldn’t tell you either. So your mind went to the only possible option…he wasn’t going to propose. He changed his mind. So…should you even continue with your plan? Or was it going to lead to heartbreak?

“I’m off to the office”, you told him, kissing his cheek. “Will you be back tonight at the usual time?”

“Yes”.

“Don’t be late, please”.

“Ok?”, he was confused by your request. “Is there a reason for that?”

“I just…we need to talk. And…yeah. Just be on time”.

Talk? He thought you were going to bring up the ring. Surely, it had to be that. But your tone was so strange, he feared there was more.

“Ok”, was the only thing he could say.

“See you later. I love you”.

“I love you too”.

But then why were you acting like this if you loved him? His head was a mess full of all the worst outcomes. And so training was a nightmare. He couldn’t concentrate and just wanted to get back home to you. But he also feared coming back home to you.

You were also so nervous. What if this didn’t work out? What if he hated it or felt offended by what you did? But you wanted to do it.

“Rapha?”, you asked when you heard the door open but no more sounds. “Don’t come closer!”

Closing the door to the living room, you ran to the front door where a confused boyfriend was staring at you.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“What? What would make you think that?”

“Why don’t you want to marry me?”

Where was he getting these ideas from?

“Who says I don’t? Rapha, what are you talking about?”

“I heard you speak to your sister and say you didn’t want me to propose”.

That was why he was acting so strange. You felt such relief knowing the cause for his behaviour that a small smile appeared on your face.

“Is it funny?”

“Stop talking and come with me”, you said, extending your hand for him but he wasn’t sure what to do. “Please. You’ll understand it all if you follow me”:

He finally took your hand and you led him to the living room, where a few packages were placed on the floor.

“What’s that?”

“Open them. Start with 1 and finish with 11”.

So he did that. When he opened the first one he saw an old shirt of his he had forgotten about and one photo.

“Turn it around so you can read the back”.

He followed your orders and started to read, which confused him even more. The photo was one taken on your first trip together and the shirt was one you wore to bed every night you were there. And that you stole before returning home. On the back of the photo, you told him about how much that trip had meant to you. You reminisced about some of the best moments you experienced there as well.

“Number 2 now?”

You nodded.

On each little package, there was a photo and an object that was attached to the memory portrayed in the photo. You could see him smile reading your words and your heart was so full of love for him at that moment.

He took number 11, your number, but you stopped him.

“I picked 11 because that’s our anniversary, 11th of November. Our lucky number. And…what day is it today?”

“The 11th”, he said, realising at that moment.

“Yes. I want to marry you, Rapha. Of course I want to, you idiot. But when I saw the ring by mistake…I didn’t want you to propose to me. We’ve never been a couple that does things the traditional way, have we?”

“No”, he chuckled.

“So I wanted to be the one who proposed to you”, he looked at you, surprised but not too much. It did sound like something you would do. “Open number 11”.

He did and was confused to see a couple of dried flowers but instead of asking, he just picked up the photo to see what it meant. It was a photo of you two at your sister’s wedding. You didn’t catch the bride’s bouquet but the friend who did took a couple of flowers off it for you. Rapha smiled remembering that moment and how you dried the petals to keep forever.

He then turned the photo and saw a very simple question. One he had been planning to ask: would you marry me?

He looked up at you, tears in his eyes like there were in yours, and said yes.

#raphael varane #raphael varane one shot #raphael varane imagine #raphael varane fluff #footballer imagine #footballer one shot #footballer fluff

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