#text says: “Do not perceive me”

[nycticeivs]

D̶̠̣̟͙͕̪̏̆̽̓͝ó̸̪̘̰̀ ̶͖̩̬̓̊̊̉̿͠n̴̤̭̐͋̊͆ọ̴̝̼͈̬́͜t̵͓̟̼̮͍͖̔́ ̸̨̀̉̋p̴̖͍͈̊ȩ̵͙͓̭͗̈̉r̴̡̘̟̫̈́̇͗͝c̸̦̞̈́̒͘͠͠ḙ̵̲̭̜͛ĭ̶͔̪̲̩̐̐v̷̪̂̅̊é̶̦̟̯͋ ̴̡̤̟̦̫͠m̷̫̙̖͊͝ẽ̶̟̃͑͝.̴̱̓͆͑͆͑̈́

#text says: “Do not perceive me” #egl comm #egl community #egl coord #egl fashion #lolita coord #lolita fashion #lolita community #baby the stars shine bright #gothic lolita #kuro lolita #Elizabeth OP #lolita comm #sweet lolita #also happy 1 year anniversary to this picture i guess #unbovvered

[soumic]

About once a day I go through the mental gymnastics of going "god I should probably make an art insta, for ~professional purposes~ and ~networking~ and ~cultivating an audience~"

And then I scrunch my face up so hard my features cave inside my skull thinking about conceding to using an algorithmic social media platform in 2023, let alone a facebook product

(please don't take this as a call to suggest alternative social medias to me sdlkfjs I mega super promise you I am aware of them)

#you know what I'm fine actually with never being perceived #>he is having a professional crisis #I'm like do I really want to do that to myself again. to have metrics. to have randos find my shit and harass me and my peers? #tbh I really don't want too much discoverability I'd like to keep within my community- I want to be sought out not stumbled upon by whoever #twitter was such a goddamn hellscape- and I'm talking BEFORE the acquisition #I need it known that I was calling for everyone to leave twitter WELL before that chucklefuck pulled his stunt #he's easy to point fingers at but the thing was rotten to the core already- arguably he did us all a favor by derailing it so spectacularly #otherwise it would have stuck around and suffered a slow natural death like all platforms #I also wanna go on record and say I've been warning about discord for a while now too- she's reaching critical mass #the answer to all this is that I need to stop being a chump and just keep working on my personal website #text #personal

[thatswhatsushesaid]

shitpost dispatches from guanyin temple & the sangyao dungeons - [10/?]

with the important caveat that no, jgy was absolutely not attempting to kill or harm nhs prior to this moment, but I would bet cash money on him exacting some pretty bloody retribution upon his beloved a-sang if he'd survived the events of guanyin temple (and also I think he would win)

#mdzs #mdzs shitposting #sangyao #not my favourite flavour of sangyao tbh #i prefer to read/write them without the revenge vision quest hovering as the dramatic irony elephant in the room #compels me tho #just to ramble abt this a bit more in my own tags #huaisang's one advantage throughout his entire revenge quest is that jin guangyao does not suspect him of anything #i have many additional thoughts here about how jgy's fatal flaw wrt nhs is overlooking and underestimating his capacity #for presenting one face to the world while keeping his real thoughts and feelings and ambitions hidden away #(and where do you think he learned that from a-yao? i'm gonna go out on a limb and say 'not er-ge or da-ge') #whereas nhs's fatal flaw (and it is not something that I perceive as fatal within the text #so much as supposition wrt his mental state post-canon) #is his inability to commit himself to any work he's not personally invested in #this is endearing and cute and a little exasperating when he's at lan summer camp #but wrt jgy it prevents him from looking past *what* jgy has done to nmj and asking himself *why* #I do think it is inevitable he will ask that question in his future just as lxc was desperately asking it at the end of the confrontation #the tragedy here is that nhs orchestrated the death of the only person who could ever give him that answer #and now he will never know #jin guangyao #nie huaisang #he did crimes??? good for him 😌 #let him have birds!! 🕊 #mdzs meta #in the tags anyway #moling queue

[raayllum]

Gosh yes, your tags on that last post. Like, I don’t blame people for liking Viren, for enjoying his character, for finding him sympathetic (or attractive, even if I personally don’t). He’s a compellingly written character! But don’t be offended if people hate him or find him evil… he’s the villain, that’s literally his role in the story

"How dare this villainous character do villainous things" / "how dare the protagonist get narratively rewarded for making good choices" like do y'all even hear yourselves sometimes, y'know?

especially when - and i cannot stress this enough - tdp is for children and will ultimately have a happy ending. this isn't a grown up drama or tragedy or even a grimdark fantasy by any means. it's a hopepunk high fantasy story. people who further retaliation and violence and push people into inherently defensive positions are the 'bad guys'

like i love viren! i think he's very well written and interesting. he's a great examination of how we can lie to and martyr ourselves in a search for security that is also about status & wanting to feel special, about the harm done when trying to win a rigged system rather than solidarity in tearing a system down and making a new one. i appreciate his dry/deadpan sense of humour. he's also one of two primary antagonists in the first 3 seasons. and like, all that can coexist? it's multifaceted character writing? we all presumably passed grade 10 english class?

i also cannot emphasize the importance of being able to separate audience reaction or response from what a piece of art is actually doing or saying enough. "this story is bad because it was personally upsetting to me" without examples given or analyzed it is not well, analysis, it's just a currently very unfounded opinion. and sometimes stories are supposed to be personally upsetting, so like. you also gotta know your lanes

it's why subjective analysis is very useful but learning structural (objective) analysis is arguably more important. something can be structurally pretty weak but very enjoyable (frozen). something can be abysmal enjoyment wise but very structurally solid (1984, which i'd argue isn't meant to be enjoyed, either). and it's important to know the difference if you want to write actual analysis rather than opinion based stuff. analysis isn't necessarily better than opinion based pieces but analysis is more expansive because it can cover the subjectivity and the objectivity and more. which is precisely why i can read "the iliad" and think "wow that was good" but if i wanted to write an essay on it i'd have to do a lot more thinking because i'm demanding something greater of that artistic experience by virtue of wanting to expand on it

a lot of people take "art for art's sake" as a statement regarding the fact that art - which is inherently symbolic in its construction, even in what meaning we construe to words themselves - doesn't have to mean anything and fighting back claims that art should mean something. but i think of "art for art's sake" is more worthwhile to examine under the lens of "this art doesn't exist for the sake of capitalist consumption, but amid it, or sometimes precisely in spite of it" and like. very few things artistically have zero meaning precisely because meaning is also "what was the reasoning behind this" and if there is none (think a tattoo you got "just because") that's typically a subjective reflection of the creator and still indicative of their personality. sometimes the meaning is meaninglessness (nihilism is still a creation in response to us searching for meaning, after all)

i'm getting into the weeds now but the point is that there's definitely been an upswing in recent years of people thinking opinions = analysis and while that often is the case (particularly if that opinion is expanded upon enough to be grounded in the text and the text's context) it absolutely is not as often actual analysis as people think it is

#the english major strikes again #thanks for asking #i was in the atla fandom casually from 2013 to 2016 and when i say Head Empty fandom dear g o d #and ppl get very butthurty about it y'know? which i think stems from a general anti intellectualism #bc who needs the fucking humanities and History in times of crisis am i right #but like. legitimate experts in their fields do know more than 16 yr olds online who think #the curtains aren't blue for any particular reason #like to engage with a text you have to operate under the assumption that Everything has meaning and then #parse out the patterns and then debate what meanings are being ascribed #how they may be integrated interpreted or completely unintentional b the author but still very much ther #tag ramble #anonymous #i feel like ppl very much shield themselves with their own perceived intellectualism and #i know so many ppl who are significantly smarter than me and i fucking love it bc i get to learn #it's not a threat it's an opportunity #what's that one socrates quote??? 'the first step to knowing is knowing you know nothing' #or something along those lines

[idontdrinkgatorade]

i can’t imagine having a crush on someone you hardly know

#this is mostly bc my friend told me that someone else asked her (on behalf of a friend) if i was dating anybody #like broskie idrc but i guarantee you that unless you are one of my closest friends then you know virtually nothing about me #ik that i’m often perceived as cishet bc but like i don’t tell anybody anything about myself #nobody knows that i’m a nerd about linguistics or an artist or that i like vocal synths and rpg maker games #or that i listen mostly to foreign music or that i’m neurodivergent or that i have a fucking tumblr account or that i’m fucking QUEER #(except for friends) #what do people even perceive me as? like if i asked someone to guess my music taste what would they say? #i can guarantee that my perceived self is entirely different from my actual self #listen this might just be the ace/aro-ness speaking but like i genuinely cannot fathom why you would like someone without knowing them #sorry but i think that if you like me without knowing me then you’ll probably be disappointed by my true personality. sorry not sorry #and i’m not changing for someone else’s ideals. either deal with it or find someone else #anyways props to my friend for responding to the text with ‘idk it’s not my business’ and the. immediately telling me lmao #common [friend name] W #i can now be mentally prepared if someone approaches me about it

[chibishortdeath]

So much happening in the world and in my personal life at once and I am completely unable to do anything about any of it. I am completely exhausted. I need to move out, but I can’t.

I’ve been stuck with a headache for a few months.

#text post #vent post #tw vent #cw vent #I’d say delete later but I don’t ever actually do that anyway #maybe I should go through vents and delete them Al #tbh I’m starting to realize that maybe never being allowed to do anything and never being taught how to do anything as a kid was neglect #it probably also wasn’t normal that I tried to be the ‘easy kid’ and avoid any perceived trouble as much as physically possible #I usually just sit in the furthest part of the house dissociate and try to immediately appear fine if anyone walks in and sees me #idk maybe I should just make that super self indulgent Simon’s Quest comic since it’ll probably be practically vent art anyway #he’s a little bit too relatable for comfort #and man I didn’t even fight Dracula to end up messed up how lame smh 😔 #I feel like I would just end up feeling guilty that I’m not doing something else more important though #most of the things I can do right now I can’t without guilt that stops me somewhere through #and that includes trying to rest haha yippie :/ #I can’t even draw the blorbo dead about it like it’s past that level of bad #I guess I shouldn’t even suggest doing anything I can’t do too #I don’t even wanna look at my instagram rn I can’t fix any of that either #idk if I should go into any details or not but I literally just can’t change anything #and I know I can’t get better unless I leave but I can’t leave and there’s nowhere to go #even places online are starting to become uninhabitable #we truly live in a time :/ #I’m just typing anything I think of as I think of it #tldr ​I am a terrible person who can’t get better because I’m stuck in a terrible situation and everything sucks basically #i’m exhausted #i feel so trapped #it feels like I have no autonomy or effect on the world at all #ugh I’m not explaining anything correctly enough anyway #I guess supper is almost ready and I should stop ranting at nothing #I’m basically just here to try to make it to 29 at least for the silly Simon game reference haha that is so pathetic

[sanstropfremir]

I'm really enjoying reading through your blog, and of course it has to do a lot with the fact that I also love to bits everything Taemin puts out. Unfortunately tumblr makes it really annoying to try and get to older posts, so sorry if you've already spoken about any of this T-T

A big part of why I love Taemin's solo work so much is his unique style, which shines through both technique and performance.

Taemin has many times spoke about how he's heavily involved in everything concerning his work: styling, picking out the samples, lyrics, themes, choreo, you name it he took care of it at some point. "The taemin genre" couldn't have emerged simply out of him being an above average dancer, his signature is on everything.

But surely, very often he can't do much more than express his opinion on something, and a lot of the end product is still created by other people? It would be silly to expect him to dance, sing, produce, write lyrics, style all at once, right? Or would it?

I very, very often hear people take pride in the fact that their fav is an "all-rounder", that presumably does most of the "creating" purely by themselves, or at least can shine all alone, even without the support of a group. But does that imply that artists that only do the performing part are somehow less "authentic", or worthy of praise? Or that idols comfortable in their position as a team player aren't talented or into what they do? To call yourself a master you probably have to spend a decade on just one skill, so why expect teens and young adults to be Da Vincis?

Now, of course it's still amazing when an idol puts in the work and branches out. Taemin's vocal improvement undoubtedly gave him more creative opportunities and made his stages that much more impactful.

But even just being an idol and maintaining an attractive appearance (for criteria as harsh as it is in k-pop) would easily count as a full-time job, so I would go as far as to say that this expectation of total creative control is a little delusional.

haha it was really funny watching you go through everything! yea tumblr is really bad about that, but if you go to my blog on desktop/not the mobile version you should be able to page back through ALL my asks, which are all tagged by 'answers'. there are like probably around a thousand of those now tho.

i have kind of talked about this before, but i'm very happy to talk about it again, because i always think it's worthwhile to clarify what the actual process is like for creating a collaborative work.

you are right, taemin and every other idol who says they're 'involved' in the process in some way is most likely just picking options and expression opinions about things that designers and stylists have already curated for them. it is physically impossible for a single person to do EVERYTHING involved in something like creating a kpop cb, because there are just too many tasks. and if one person DID try to do it all on their own, it would take probably 100x as long to finish. let me use styling as an example: lots of idols have professed to have input on styling choices, but this can range anywhere from bringing in moodboards and having discussions about what styling they're interested in at design meetings, to just picking which thing they like best from a selection of clothes already provided by the designer. in NO fucking world is an idol:

taking measurements

shopping for fabric

shopping for clothing

sewing and altering clothing

doing the budgeting

labelling and collating all the pieces together

taking fitting notes

these are all extremely specialized skills that 1) take TIME to learn how to do and how to do well, and 2) just take TIME to DO. you want to know what i spend probably 40% of the total production time of a show doing when i costume design? fucking SHOPPING. an idol may contribute ideas to a design and make executive choices, but in NO way are they solely responsible for everything about styling. the only idol that i would believe to have a heavier hand than most in this regard is kibum, who does actually have a good knowledge of fashion and fabric and i could see him going shopping with a designer. but if you think that man is sewing anything? cmon.

and this is just for ONE aspect of a cb. you think an idol is also painting the set? shopping for props? setting up the lighting? most idols that are known for dancing aren't even choreographing their own work, INCLUDING taemin. it is absolutely and unquestionably delusional to say that an idol has total creative control over something. this whole idea doesn't originate in kpop (it's auteur theory's fault), but kpop does suffer from an acute version of it, because there's a general collective concensus that devalues the creative work of the labourer. basically, people will only classify you as a "true artist" if you're the one who comes up with the ideas, because ideas and concepts are given more importance and weight. it's a type of because 'being in charge'/'at the top of the food chain that's been perpetuated by capitalism and western postmordern art theory that intentionally places value of conceptual skills higher than those of craftspeople. no type of person is a ''true artist'' and most art takes many people with many different skills in order to create. i find it unintentionally very funny that you use da vinci as an example of an 'allrounder' (or 'renaissance man' as they used to be called) because he, like every other famous painter from the era, used apprentices to help paint his paintings!!!!! he was even an apprentice himself for verrocchio!! da vinci's legacy would not have been possible without all the other people who helped him create the work that he did!

what is the real kicker about this whole mess is that downplays the beauty of the fact that art is made collaboratively. an 'ideas' person cannot realize those ideas without a craftsperson there to help them. everyone who takes part in creating something is important, and it's fucked to only acknowledge specific people in that process.

#like i dont think people realize that even like big contemporary artists have studios w ppl doing fabrication for them #that's VERY common #but none of them will actively recognize it because it takes the perceived value of their monolith artist brand away #i've almost never done a full sweep design on anything and i've worked on some tiny ass shows bc its just too much work #like when i say its impossible i fucking mean it #kpop questions #im not going to get into more of an anticapitalist rant than i already did but its literally capitalism's fault #craftspeople were literally some of the first unions btw #text #answers #like it's very fine that someone just does performing. thats ok. performing is its own set of skills #you dont have to expect or gas up idols for doing other stuff like there are literally other people whose jobs those are!!!!!!!!!!!! #auteur theory and capitalism ruined fucking everything fr #dont even get me started on the authenticity stuff again god knows i hate that shit

[methodwriting]

being a teacher paid by the hour is so fucking stupid like imagine your work is head of meetings or whatever and before the meeting you have to send email invitations, create and share your presentation or materials and so on THEN after the meeting you write down the agreements and send to everyone or your boss. and after doing all of this you only get paid the hours you're in a meeting and Everyone including you agrees that this is a fair deal and actually if you're unhappy you can quit, starve and die

#teacherblr #?is that a thing #like my contract literally says i'm not allowed to do extra hour #BUT WHO DOES THE PRESENTATIONS AND PREPARES CLASS SUSAN #the fucking holy spirit? #i will eat every admin and exec raw i swear #perceive me tag #a text post

[ashtonsunshine]

Me looking at tall silly men being chaotic on my phone

#carmo says things #do not perceive me #5sos #text

[noxtivagus]

HAHAHFASLKDF 😭😭

#🌙.rambles #school activity rn n for the icebreaker we're doing 2 truths 1 lie #SOB THIS WAS WHAT I PUT N HELPPP THE WAY ALL THE ANSWERS ARE SO BALANCED #GUSTO NILA NG TWIN REVEAL HFDKFAJDSFJ but i'm too shy to open my camera n apollo's in class WAHH >< #PPL GOT SO SUPRISED WITH THE TWIN AND THE SPOTIFY PLAYLIST IM DYING #THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME #HOW DO THESE PPL PERCEIVE ME NOW HDFJKLASFJKSLD #w the spotify playlists i think i heard my classmate say wow di niya kakayanin yung dedication #NO MY SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS ARE A MESS KSE I JUST SPAM AND DUMP 😭 #SOB THE HOST FROM THE OTHER SECTION HERE #their nickname is basically my name but with one different letter #HEARING MY NAME SO OFTEN IS HDKAJKFJDSKL #I WANT A CAT SO BAD THOUGH............ #MOST PPL DON'T THINK I'M AN OLDER TWIN OMG 🥺 </3 #i feel like my texting style really is so influenced by my environment #bcs i feel like just rambling in filipino now n talking like my batchmates HELP WHFKDAJSFD #n to the next activity in class #ANUBA HDFLKAJDLKF MGA QUESTIONS NA TO 😭 AYOKO NG CRUSH #this class interaction is so chaotic #HELP WAIT I'M STILL LAUGHING AT MY PART KANINA DHFAJDFLKSD #WAIT IM SMILING #TOKEN FOR THE OTHER BATCH SECTION WAS A SCRAPBOOK N THEY PICKED LYRICS FROM 4 SONGS #THEY CHOSE FROM ONE OF THE SONGS I RECCED HDLFJALDKFJ I'M SMILINGGG I LVOE THAT SONG #someone recced that to me as well n they're the reason why i first discovered the artist >>> #I'M MOST OF THE TIME TOO SHY TO LISTEN TO NEWER FRIENDS REQS BCS IT FEELS TOO PERSONAL AT FIRST #but i genuinely rlly like the artist now so thank you yes go listen to gregory and the hawk #i hope they do not see this . i will be embarrassed . #IT'S SO EMBARRASSING WHEN YOU'RE THE LAST ONE TO SEND SMTH IN THE CHATBOX HHHH GUSTO KO NA MATULOG #TEKA LANG I'M SMILING UWAHH my class put all 5 of my recs in the spotify playlist hehe so night in the brume is there 🥺

[www-dot-panopticon-dot-com]

#eye strain CW #vent #do not reblog #I got all bitchy at my mom today. and my older sibling. and my mom says I’m like that all the time… I guess I don’t disagree? #and mom seemed really stressed today. meanwhile I’ve been lounging about. I thought I was sick and my mom did too #(she checked my forehead for a temperature) but also I lounge about every day? #I’m on college summer vacation and I don’t have a job and I don’t help out around the house anywhere near as much as I should. #I just piss people off and try to instigate them. #and be manipulative. like I’ll be like ‘lmao I slept in so I guess you either gotta wait for me to shower and be late for this event that I #don’t want to go with you guys too or you’ll have to leave me here lol’ #I’m kinda. the worst. #and not even in a cool ‘campy villain’ way like I want to be perceived #just. the *worst* kind of worst. #and I can’t bring myself to do *anything* about it. I just want to laze about #I can’t bring myself to do anything about any of these things #text post #delete later #my posts #cipher.txt

[navramanan]

thought it was common sense that when you meet someone for the first time through a mutual friend you dont talk about personal experiences or plans with said mutual friend making the third person feel out of place bc they cant join those conversations and it’s just two people talking while the third one is standing emoji

#she made this even weirder by directly adressing me saying ''oh we'll do/did this together btw'' while she was talking about it with her #i guess it was her way of including me but i just perceived it completely differently #i didnt even know she was coming my friend didnt tell me until moments before we met up #which is :// and she usually tells me before hand but whatever #and bc her friend was there too i didnt ask my friend if she wanted to come over the next day which i was planning on doing bc i didnt know #she'd bring someone along #i didnt ask her bc i think it's very rude to adress one of two people and ask them to hang out #so i asked her via text #bc yk i'm trying to be a decent person yeah #but turns out this isnt common sense :D #i have a friend who is amazing at making the person she's meeting for the first time through a mutual friend feel included and engaged #she basically just has a whole convo with them to get to know them and asks a bunch of questions #which is such a great way to handle a situation like this. the mutual friend is satisfied bc none of the two are being excluded #and can join in on the convo since they know both people #nesi rants

[haarute]

*slides into your DMs* hey babe so are you a "life has been unfair to and filled with abuse" traumatized or a "consumed by loss regret and guilt" traumatized?

#text post #trauma #i saw something and started thinking about this earlier #because i feel like i often see people from the former group around and they're quite bitter. and justifiably so. #but over here in second group corner i'm like yeah man i have no sense of ego anymore i deserve all of the bad things. #and we like actively self-sabotage ourselves as a weird form of punishment too because how dare me be happy. #and logically i know that's bs. and yet feelings operate as they do. #but i know so many people who are so done with people's bullshit and ready to throw down and stand up for themselves #and i'm like damn i admire that fighting spirit. #and from what i can tell from the people i know it's often fueled by their own experiences with people who treated them wrong #but when nobody has treated you wrong but instead you yourself are the cause of all of the bad things then WELL FUCK ME #which is why posts that are meant to like pump yourself up to go stand up for yourself are so alien to me. #or stuff saying that it's totally fine to just be angry and hold grudges at people and i'm like well i don't relate to this at all #if anything it kinda makes me feel worse about myself in some weird way #since i'm the only person i could perceive as hateable. #the whole ''fuck the world i don't owe anyone anything and i should focus on my own happiness first'' mentality is great and all but #almost a direct opposite to what's going on in my head at all times. #i feel like i could dedicate my entire life to try and make the world a better place and i still couldn't justify my existence. #and i don't mean to anyone in particular. just to myself. #but this is on itself a selfish issue formed entirely on my own emotions. #... which just makes it worse. #so yeah.

[zatsy]

genuinely detest presenting female i do i do

#zats text #i just wish every time some dude at work has some shit to say to me #they would leave my (perceived incorrectly) gender out of it #this has happened. so many times. #'oh you're a cool girl you don't get offended like other girls do' #yes i do. i don't say anything bc we're the only two people in the parking lot and i don't want to risk my safety. #'women. so dramatic right.' #shut up shut up shut up i hate it here #sorry for the rant its just. a lot.

[methodwriting]

richard powers, sir. the writing advice to make your characters go up a tree and then throw stones at them wasn’t literal. ssir please, my blorbos.

#the overstory #richard powers #i’m almost done and boy. the trunk do be trunking #also counting the she would not fucking say that moments becuse. i wish this book were less straight #a text post #perceive me tag