#telling ppl i have bpd uhhhhhh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yourlocaldisneyvillain · 1 year

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Which Gwen character do you think you give off the most?

uhhhhhh one thing that happens when you have bpd is that you have a very poor concept of self. ahahah like i am pretty sure i have like a Distinct Personality and that has been Told To Me on multiple occasions, but i never know how to describe myself when asked. like i am a very Particular sort of person, but when asked what kind of particular i'm just like... uh???? idk.

i wonder though, how do other people see me???? what would my anons say?????? pls do tell :)))) i would find it Very Entertaining to read some of y'alls takes haha

anygay, here is My Take lol. uhhhhh like who do we have to choose from? lucifer, brienne, larissa, miranda, jane, gwen, phasma? honestly out of all of these i think my younger self can definitely relate to brienne in terms of like i would DIE for a sliver of someone's love and attention, but that is def more subdued now that i'm older -- also our personalities are not even remotely similar, i am like super loud and chaotic lol. miranda is a bit too sweet, even though the general Chaos is similar -- i think i am way more Mischievous tho ahahah i am not that much of a wholesome sweetheart. lucifer is just way too cool, and i am not nearly as mean as jane. gwen barely has a personality that you can discern in the show but hey we both speak more than one language??? idk. don't relate to her in any real way. phasma is like an actual sociopath lol, but i do relate to her in one way -- she cares a lot about her own survival and she will do whatever it takes to like take care of herself, and that is a mindset i have sort of adopted through the years bc let me tell ya things have not been easy on your girl haha. i try not to be a bitch to other people for no reason tho lol. so i guess that leaves larissa, which might actually be closest, personality wise. had intense homoerotic friendship in her teenage years, likes to wear lipstick, polite, but WILL cut a bitch if she feels so inclined, prone to Mischief ahhahah, kinda flirty, cares Deeply about her job. so yeah, i'd have to say larissa! not a super close match, but the best out of the options that are out there ahahah.

(p.s. -- totally forgot about jan stevens lol. i am not THAT crazy and our personalities are not similar at all but i guess i am Artsy idk lol. i also hate when ppl Leave me, but who doesn't ahahahahha)

#i got an ask!#zephyr said 50/50 gwen and larissa #so make of that what you will

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yallarewild · 7 years

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20 reasons why i think self dx is dangerous (as a nd/mentally ill person who’s spent a decade researching psych)

this was made purely to highlight the dangers of self diagnosis and the importance of necessary medical treatment

important disclaimers:

self dx =/= self advocacy, i.e. researching symptoms that you think you might have and trying to compare them to your own behavior without actually dxing yourself, regardless whether you are going to seek medical help. i believe this is extremely important: it can provide you w/a sense of validation to know you’re not alone, and it can put you in touch with your feelings a little more once you realize there actually may be something going on with you.

this post is not made for the intention of judging the character of people who self dx- there are many other posts out there about the ableism factors, the trivialization of mental illness, or the way tumblr communities handle mental illness, etc.

tl;dr: .it’s not a fucking joke, please go get checked out by a professional medical practitioner, or don’t (but pls do), but whatever you do please don’t self dx

i often see the phrase “no one knows you better than yourself” as a justification for self dx and while you’re the only one who has access to your emotions and thoughts, no one is objective about their health, thoughts, and emotions. it’s impossible to truly dx yourself with any mental disorder because you subconsciously bring different types of cognitive biases into the process – this is why “medical intern syndrome” is such a prevalent phenomenon. you might know your emotions and thoughts, but this fails to address the fact that your perception of your feelings are grossly affected by your true mental illness (which says something ab your mental illness in and of itself).

not having access to mental health care doesn’t mean you should dx yourself with a mental illness, its not black or white. i often see teenagers saying they don’t want to get a prof dx because they don’t want their parents involved and i totally understand that, ableism is so terrible and i’ve experienced it for so long, trust me. luckily, there are ways to access mental health care at little to no cost, insurance or not, without getting your parents involved, but im not here to judge those who struggle w/resources to care.

untreated mental illness does not go away & a pro dx is crucial for access to treatment, disability benefits or other types of care or services. this could literally mean life or death. the prognoses for untreated mental illnesses are across the board terrible and may have devastating effects on your life: the longer they’re left untreated because you decided to not seek treatment, the more disabling they’re going to become. like one argument for self dx is that not everyone can access mental health care/resources…so instead they do something that literally prevents them from accessing resources….. uhhhhhh ??

you could put yourself in grave danger because symptoms of mental disorders may actually be life threatening symptoms of serious physical issues requiring medical care: thyroid issues, liver damage, vitamin deficiencies, blood/bone/brain infections, neurological disorders, many types of cancer, autoimmune disorders, brain tumors, epilepsy, diabetes, etc

you could put yourself in grave danger because you may be dealing with early symptoms of a more serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, DID, etc. there are many early symptoms that mask other disorders. obv all mental illnesses are very serious but if you self dx with depression because you’re experiencing the “negative” symptoms of schizophrenia: lethargy, lack of affect, etc. you may not think a pro dx is necessary and early treatment is crucial for successful long term treatment of schizophrenia.

there is so much misinformation about what symptoms look & a psychiatrist is able to determine the degree and direction of the symptoms. there is a huge spectrum within each symptom and it honestly takes a trained medical professional to determine the severity. for ex: mood swings are common in both bipolar disorder & BPD but they look and feel totally different for each disorder. people justify this with: “well i fit the literal dsm diagnosis” except,,,, you probably dont. the dsm was NOT designed for people who are not medical professionals to interpret- there are nuances of specific symptoms that determine a dx

just because you experience several behaviors doesn’t necessarily mean you have a mental illness at all, diagnoses are based on the specific combination of symptoms. you may look at mood swings, anxiety and issues w/interpersonal relationships, and think you def have bpd; however it’s important to factor in that mood swings/anxiety are associated with hormones, eating patterns, stress, situational conditions etc but since you’re in the lens of looking for a diagnosis you might point to that and think it fits within that diagnostic criteria. im not saying you’re faking or don’t have a mental illness, im saying one or more of your symptoms may not be accounted for mental illness.

if you self dx and then don’t get treatment and/or medication you’re generally at a HIGH risk for self medication which may or may not include self-harm and substance abuse. since mental illnesses generally do not get better over time, so the longer you wait, the higher your chances of engaging in self destructive behaviors. there are some mental disorders that are literally inherent chemical imbalances that can really only be treated with medication, no matter how much self care you engage in.

i often see the argument that “psychiatrists just go down a checklist to diagnose you and that’s it!”, as well as, “My psychiatrist googled ‘x disorder quiz’ and printed the first one that came up!! i was in and out in five minutes!!!” as justifications for self dx: like either your psychiatrist needs to get their fucking license revoked or that’s just not true. the testing process generally takes an hour and involves diff types of observations of behavior as well as a very long list of questions- it’s not a fucking list printed from the internet from a random site.

additionally i see, “psychiatrists make mistakes too!!” right, true but the chances of a psychiatrist making a mistake vs the chances of you making a mistake are very slim in relation to each other due to the reasons listed here, i.e. decades of research on a phd level

just because some people go to the psychiatrist post-self dx and learn they were correct about their self dx doesnt mean that it applies to everyone and REGARDLESS it doesnt mean you shouldnt get professionally diagnosed anyway. these are a few experiences out of a million. it literally doesn’t mean that you are definitely right in yours.

quizzes taken on the internet aren’t fucking diagnosis (and neither is 6 months of research)??? like i don’t care if you’ve taken ten of them. if they’re designed with the proper controls they could def help SCREEN for mental illness symptoms, but even then it requires a lot of second party consulting, it’s something you’re literally not qualified for, for the reasons listed above.. if i took diff quizzes or tried to research my symptoms i could def try and self dx with so many diff disorders that aren’t even comorbid. they need to be interpreted by a medical professional and are usually designed to help guide ppl towards treatment

“all psychiatrists are neurotypical and dont understand my mental illness!” how do you know they’re neurotypical? they wouldn’t tell you even if they were??? also what does being neurotypical have to do with their ability to correctly do their job???? would you expect an oncologist to have gone through cancer in order to do their job?

the concept of self fulfilling prophesy is hard at work with self diagnosis; if you attach a label of depression to yourself it’s going to influence your behavior and self perception whether or not you’re aware of it. you might end up seriously damaging yourself because youre trying to fit the diagnosis. when i obsessively tell myself i feel very depressed, after awhile i actually prevent myself from feeling better because i keep telling myself i’m depressed, for example.

one phrase i see a lot: “well people self dx with a cold, why is this any different?” well, for one thing, the physical ramifications of a cold and a chronic mental illness ie a literal chemical imbalance in your brain are miles apart. they’re not even medically comparable in terms of immediate and long-term effects. additionally, it really highlights the fact that many people treat mental illness as a personalized experience whereas they treat their physical health w/objective opinions from medical professionals. this analogy is not only inaccurate but it’s dangerous as fuck.

people might not be aware symptoms they’re experiencing are abnormal because that’s their normal state based on their actual mental illnesses. for ex someone who suffers from an anxiety dx might just be used to adapting to it their whole life when they actually have a serious disorder and not even think about getting help for it. your baseline cannot be assessed objectively.

sometimes the self dx community is enabling in a bad way- the lack of treatment for disorders real or otherwise make them more susceptible to encouraging/justIfying unhealthy coping habits. its kind of like the blind leading the blind. like it’s just not a good idea.

just because it might take a couple diff psychiatrists to get an accurate diagnosis isnt a good justification for self dx. this can be due to a million different reasons- maybe you were diff ages when you saw each one, maybe you were exhibiting signs of something else at the time- i was originally diagnosed with depression before bipolar disorder because my mental health hadn’t stabilized so my mania wasn’t present.

using the excuse of “ask someone close to you what they think about you possibly having [x] dx” as a legitimate step towards self diagnosis is as bad as saying you don’t have a personal bias… like the answer from your friend/family member is based on so many factors: the nature of the relationship, how honest the person is, their emotional state at the time, their own ability to analyze the people around them, how aware of psychological symptoms they are, their bias towards mental illness, the way the symptom description is presented, the setting the discussion took place, etc etc

last but not least, i see the phrase: “well mental illness didn’t suddenly appear as soon as i got a diagnosis!” obviously it was always there but you may have mislabeled it before your diagnosis if you self dx’d first, thats it. no one is pretending mental illnesses suddenly appear when a professional diagnosis is assigned

your best “research” on the internet is not equal to ten years of medical school, its just not, and it’s concerning to me that self diagnosis is such a prevalent trend on here. please seek treatment, even if it’s in the form of your high school or college counseling center; the links i’ve provided in number 3 may be helpful in locating mental health care, whether it’s a community mental health care center, or a therapist close to you who offers reduced cost treatment.

you owe it to yourself, it’s 10000% worth it.

#self diagnosis #self dx #anti self dx #anti self diagnosis #actuallymentallyill #mental illness #mental illness discourse #ableism #not ableism #prof dx #psychiatry #dsm v #actuallybipolar #mental health community #mental heath support #sjw bullshit #medication #self medication #self care

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raccooncityaliens · 7 years

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Tagged by @annamarcellie ! Thank you!

🌻rules: once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag.

🌻LAST…

1. Drink: Coffee, still morning for me

2. Phone Call: The local crisis center (they called me)

3. Text Message: Uhhh the library telling me my books are late

4. Song You Listened To: Marina and The Diamonds - Froot

5. Time You Cried: Um... I cried a lot on Friday but don’t even remember if I’ve cried after that

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated Someone Twice: Uhhh kinda, and that would apply for the last two of my lovers before H....... oop

7. Been Cheated On: Yeah, I don’t think there was actual sex involved but

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Impulse control crap so yes

9. Lost someone special: Not to death but otherwise yes

10. Been depressed: Got first diagnosed at 13 so lmao yes

11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: Too many times....... You’d think one would learn

🌻 LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS…

12. Purple

13. Dark teal? what are color names

14. In general I navigate towards black and grays but let’s say muted greens

🌻 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: Yes!! Amazing

16. Fallen out of love: No

17. Laughed until you cried: Yes, the worst was around Christmas when we were playing a word board game with sis and I thought I was going to choke and die because I laughed too hysterically........ still funny tho

18. Found out someone was talking about you: No...! Not including my fiancée. But I’m pretty sure someone’s spreading shit because people are being weird.

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes

20. Found out who your true friends are: I think I’ll see soon

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yah sure

🌻 GENERAL…

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost everyone who lives/lived in Finland

23. Do you have any pets: Not really but I’m an adoptive parent to a hamster grandpa

24. Do you want to change your name: Legally yeah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: That is a hell of a question....... I think sis was in town and we spent time with mom?

26. What time did you wake up today: Around 9:30 which is really weird

27. What were doing at midnight last night: Getting ready for bed

28. Name something you cannot wait for: Mass Effect Andromeda, getting more money, our handfasting

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: Friday evening

30. What is one thing that you could change about your life: H getting healthy..... or at least getting healthier and more time here on Earth. Also less intense mental illnesses would be gr8. Also top surgery.

31. What are you listening to right now: More Marina, currently Girls

32. Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: No, actually

33. Something that gets on your nerves: People telling me that being positive fixes everything

34. Most visited website: Just really tumblr. Then fb, youtube. Or maybe google really, I google a lot of stuff.

35. Elementary: School? Uhhh how would these translate into Finnish school system.... Trauma period continued but I didn’t realize it at a time

36. Secondary: More trauma, mental illness hitting full force

37. College: I’m at uni but it would be gr8 if I had more spoons and less..... illness

38. Hair colour: Two shades of brown because my undyed roots are like half of my hair

39. Long or short hair: Short

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes *v* tho I think we’re far past the crush stage already

41. What do you like about yourself: I try my best to be a decent human being

42. Piercings: Ears, one stretched, labret, tongue, helix, navel

43. Blood type: B+

44. Nicknames: Ppl just call me Luka or Karo

45. Relationship Status: ENGAGED

46. Zodiac sign: Taurus sun, aquarius moon.

47. Pronouns: They/them. He/him works too but not always.

48. fav Tv show: at this exact moment: Hannibal always, Star Trek TOS always. Just got into Skam tho

49. Tattoos: Kenaz on my right ring finger

50. Right or left handed: Right

🌻 FIRST…

51. Surgery: I’ve actually never had surgery miraculously enough

52. Piercing: Well ears when I was like 7, but labret.

53. Best friend: Was this piece of crap girlie but first real bff @murdercutie

54. Sport: Uhhhhhh........ Dance? Badminton?

55. Vacation: France when I was like 2. Dad’s friend lived there.

56. Pair of trainers: I have literally no idea

🌻 RIGHT NOW…

57. Eating: Nothiiing I should have breakfast

58. Drinking: More coffee.......

59. i’m about to: ....Drink coffee........

60. listening to: Forgot to put music back on, thanks

61. waiting for: My brain to wake up

62. want: MoONEeeyyy

63. get married: Yah in the summer !

64. career: I’m a student in theory lmao not gonna get a single credit this year. Hope to be a researcher at some point, unless I find another cool job in my field.

🌻 WHICH IS BETTER…

65. hugs or kisses: Hugs actually

66. lips or eyes: Eyess I guess

67. shorter or taller: Shorter so I can feel tol

68. older or younger: Idgaf, H is younger

69. romantic or spontaneous: Romantic? And spontaneous to a limit too

70. nice arms or nice stomach: Either way!

71. sensitive or loud: Sensitive def

72. hook up or relationship: Relationship always and forever, hook ups have been terrible for me

73. troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker 8>

🌻 HAVE YOU EVER…

74. kissed a stranger: Yep

75. drank hard liquor: Ooh yes

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: Well colored contacts yeah

77. turned someone down: Yup

78. sex on first date: :)))))

79. broken someone’s heart: Maaaaybe? Once maybe?

80. had your own heart broken: Shattered to fucking pieces

81. been arrested: Nope

82. cried when someone died: Nobody in my social circle has died. When my dog died yes tho. For... weeks.

83. fallen for a friend: Yeeees

🌻 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. yourself: Idk like in what way? But no I have BPD

85. miracles: I want to

86. love at first sight: I was like definite nope but now I’m like.... well, shit

87. santa claus: Well not in that sense

88. kiss on the first date: Sure

89. angels: I think they exist but I don’t really work with them

🌻 OTHER…

90. current best friend’s name: Katariina still!

91. eye colour: Like amber or something. Or brown or green. Who knows really.

92. favourite movie: I can’t choose????

I don’t want to tag anyone specifically but mutuals do this!!

#about me #questionnaire #long post #alcohol cw #sex cw

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