#tell me youre autistic without telling me youre autistic

[captaindibbzy]

I think the thing about Laois Vs Shiro is Shiro is expecting Laois to do the legwork without telling him.

By Shiro's cultural standards Laois is being very rude, and being someone of nobility it's very much a shock to come up against Laois's manners. But instead of adapting to this he keeps going forward with the same system he knows.

Laois is incapable of seeing it. He literally can not. Shiro can see that from Laois. He shouts about it, how he knows Laois is genuine and he hates that because he wants it to be deliberately rude cause then he can treat him with the contempt he deserves in return, but Laois isn't doing that. But instead of changing his strategy, or adapting himself to deal with this situation he keeps going on the same failing path thinking if he hints enough Laois will suddenly get it and stop. He wants Laois to learn his manners, but never tells him this, or communicates in any way that Laois can understand.

This could equally be read as autism just like Laois: these are the rules and I don't know how to function outside of them. Or it could be read as privilege, where he expects to be treated in a certain way and Laois is NOT doing that. It could just be cultural.

But Laois can't change to information he doesn't have. Shiro may as well be talking a different language, but Shiro still expects Laois to suddenly develop the skill to understand him and then "voices" his frustration in that same language that it's not happening.

Is Shiro wrong to do this? Depends on your interpretation. Maybe he can't change himself just like Laois can't. Or maybe he doesn't want too.

I don't think Shiro hates Laois, there is more of that later in the story. I think he was tired, hungry, and stressed when he said those things. They may have been true but not the whole picture. He holds great respect for him. The bell is a symbol of that.

For me I think it reads as a criticism of Japanese culture on autistics. It is a Japanese manga/anime after all, and Shiro's behaviour will be very familiar to that audience. So what happens if you need direct communication in a culture where saying No outright is considered incredibly rude? You end up like Laois, reaching out in the only way you know how, misreading everything, wearing you heart out on things you read as friendship only to discover that you are wrong, you are rude, and nobody wants you there (or even, like Shiro to Laois, maybe it is not hate but in frustration things have been voiced and you can't read between those lines either).

Walking in on people you thought were your friends to find they hate you is something I am very familiar with. It's not something that is easy to recover from. You just have to put your heart away and learn not to take it out.

#dungeon meshi

[ven-of-the-valley]

Okay… so maybe this is a neurodivergence thing, but I genuinely do not understand how people can go places without headphones.

Like, I’m a college student, and when I’m walking from class to class there are so many people just… not listening to anything…

Or, like, when I see fellow students walking to the bus. Walking in silence. When I’m on the bus. Nothing.

My headphones died once before school, so I was charging them on the way to class, but I couldn’t have them on the bus and it was miserable. You’re telling me people just prefer silence to their own music? Or a podcast? Or anything?

#neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neurospicy #autism #actually autistic #ocd #neurotypicals are weird #like you’re telling me you can actually stand the million noises around you at once? #and you actually prefer that to your music??? #you WANT to walk without music??? #it’s like people who drive in silence #red flag my guy

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

me: am I beyond stressed and dying?

me: it's because I had like 8 cups of fucking Chinese tea again, why must it be so good and make me feel so anxious.

Me: I will stop!

also me: *chugs 10 cups in 45 minutes* I can think again.

I love caffeine but it makes me so fucking anxious to the point I think I'm dying, why.

#-pop #disability #mental health stuff #neurodivergent stuff #someone please tell. the ADHD part of me to take over so I can drink coffee and tea without feeling like I'm dying #the autism part of me is like “no your chemicals don't mix DMT and caffeine no no” #fun fact autistic people have more DMT than we should. and also we are constantly mildly tripping #it explains so much

[just-rogi]

.

#like I’m sorry #I love my best friend so so so much and she’s perfect and kind and has gone above and beyond to be rational and to be there for me #and I get it she’s an autistic woman and has faced adversity and has had to go on medical leave and that’s hard #and I’m not being dismissive of her struggles #but it makes me so angry because her parents unconditionally love her and her siblings and have always made her feel that way #and has never worried about money as a kid #and yeah her relationship with her parents isn’t perfect of course #but she literally cannot understand domestic violence beyond just reading about it in a book #like she did everything she can to understand and relate #but sometimes I want to scream because I feel so alone #because no one in my life fucking understands why I’m the way I am #and I’ve been struggling the past two months really badly with coping #I’ve had to go to the doctor to ask about PTSD and not like the tik tok OWO kind #but the I was in a car crash as a kid with my dad as a drunk driver and I keep getting flashbacks in my daily life to being a small child #that are impacting by daily life and interactions #and like I feel so fucking alone #and to hear from my friends ‘your right this is horrible and toxic but lots of people go through this’ ISNT FUCKING HELPING #I don’t want to hear that it’s normal I want to feel fucking safe in my bedroom without my mother blowing up my phone or calling the cops #I am unwell and I’m so stressed and I’m so sick and I can’t cope with this and none of the therapists I’ve tried to find handle ptsd #especially not therapists of color #I’m angry and I’ve been getting worse over the past two months #and not that it matters but due to ^^^ reasons my birthday has always been insanely fucking bad for me #like depression watch bad. when I turned twenty I was vividly hallucinating while walking around campus for a week straight having #flashbacks in class and I had to be taken out of the auditorium because I was physically unwell and couldn’t stop crying and shaking #and I told my friend I didn’t want to celebrate I just wanted to sit on her couch and not be alone and she fucking ditched me #because an emergency with a different friend came up the night before #like I have a history of suicidal ideation traumatic flashbacks eating disorders and self harm and I’m asking you to be with me on a very #upsetting day and you call me the night before telling me we have to cancel because another friend is having a bigger crisis #and like you don’t even feel a little bad about it?? #I’m just upset and scared and I’ve got a doctors appointment tomorrow and I’m not in reality right now and that’s scary

[pezpenser205]

if i had a nickel for every time i got an anon criticizing me where i responded willing to believe them, being curious and wanting more resources or details so i can learn, but they go dead silent and never say anything else about it id have 2 nickels which isnt a lot but its really annoying and makes me sad that its happened twice.

#''x is bad'' #ok i wanna believe you but can you give me something to read or explain this to me bc just you saying things isnt something i wanna form- #a strong opinion around. #*silence* #ok! why!!!!! #i feel like if youre coming to someone with information especially an autistic someone then you should be ready to explain what you mean- #-and how you got to that conclusion. like someone saying ''x is a dogwhistle'' or ''x is bad'' doesnt tell me anything. i dont know any- #-more than i did when we first started talking. i just know that this person thinks these things and thats not enough. as an autistic- #-person whos been duped countless times into agreeing with stuff or saying and doing things in conversation that i didnt actually agree- #-with im not just gonna believe everyone. youre on anon and i dont know you. how am i supposed to know i can trust you. i cant. and i want- #-to. thats why im asking for information. i want to know things and i want to get things right but saying 'youre doing x wrong' without- #-telling me exactly why its wrong is a fucking nightmare man. i need to know in excruciating detail in order to change how i think. #its not that i dont ever want to change how i think i just cant trust people and want to know that the information im taking in is accurate #and i want to understand it fully. i cant just know one facet of something. #i dont just see the overarching idea. i see the smaller bits that make up those ideas. if you dont give me history or backstory to work with #i wont see the full idea. despite wanting to. #bleh. #im tired #op

[prudencepaccard]

didn't get cast in ensemble. they did cast a girl at callbacks I literally taught the harmony to though. fucked up

#spent a year thinking about the audition #have actively waited for an opportunity to audition for at least seven years #show on my radar for at least 14 #love to be good enough at the audition that they call you back and then have them be like #actually never mind we don't want your voice even with the other voices. #we have no place for your body on stage with the other bodies #this is what I was afraid of. this is why as soon as it was announced like two years ago this might be produced I was as #stressed as I was excited. #it's not about ego or rejection it's just about getting to do a dream there aren't many chances to fulfill. I just get fixations you know? #rehearsals start tonight without me! #only thing helping me hold onto my sanity is an inside source telling me that the director is horrible #it's hard for grapes to be sour enough for me to not to hurt bad bad bad #but it takes away a little bit of the grief #as does the fact that a friend has the kindness to try and comfort me like that #mensch behavior #I have othr things to look forward to this was just high stakes you know #not a lot of chances. dependent on others to provide chances. autistic hyperfixation on little scraps of the score #most passionate out of anyone who auditioned for sure #and I'm not even bad #I fucked up at callbacks a little but I was hoping they wouldn't be insane about it #but holding my breath until I could get the relief of knowing I was in #which would also have been incredible news in other ways too––being in any show has been a long-term goal and I would be like okay I've hit #that milestoone and should actually invest in a headshot #but I guess not!!!!!! #going to try and not be angry at myself though #I'm good and will throw myself into my work #which I have much to do of and talent to apply to

[caffeinatedopossum]

People be like "you don't look autistic"

Bestie I may be wearing metaphorical shoes but I promise you underneath this, all I feel is wet socks. All the way down. My deepest emotion. Wet sock.

#other autistics please tell me you know what im talking about #my deepest emotion really is wet sock and im convinced this is why i have depression #hrrg its like whole body gag. like the feeling of a limb falling asleep but on all of my skin #its like being able to hear rats in your walls all the time. the sensory. why the world so sensory all the time ;-; #anyway im a bit unhinged because ive been very sick and very overstimulated for days #and i swear to go i cant do anything without wanting to bite myself in frustration #literally if i want to take a drink? oopsie i spilled it and now im wet AND sticky. two of the textures ever #PLUS my wrist hurts now because i lifted something and im still thirsty because i cant move or think when all i feel is wet and sticky #hnng wet socks. wet socks ;-; #and i cant really stim to help because im way too tired for that #plus my main stim is just. pacing. and my balance is shit right now which means i will walk into walls so many timez #and yes it hurts a lot when i walk into walls #i got the No Proprioception update for Autism apparently -_- im so tired of being inhumanly clumsy #send backup im so sleepy

[mrfoox]

The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers

#miranda talking shit #I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble #Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better #Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age #As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into #The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better #But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image #Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it #Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis #Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal. #I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors #I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of #An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been #Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens #I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame #But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault #Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way #I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me. #Negative #Abuse

[beneaththegildedmoon]

It's so impossible to interact with people online in a normal way and i don't understand why

#this girl made a video titled “when my family dont expect me to go nonverbal the rest of the day after telling me to shut up” #but she meant like #voluntarily choosing not to speak to them for the rest of the day #not actually going nonverbal #so i politely pointed out that hey that term has a very specific meaning #and that it can hurt those of us who struggle with going nonverbal when people portray it as just a choice bc we cant help it #the amount of times ive been yelled at for not replying when im nonverbal bc the person thinks im just choosing to be rude and not answer #and this random person who said they were also autistic came into my replies to tell me im an idiot #because non verbal just means “without speech” and non-verbal communication exists #so i tried to point out that i didnt say the word nonverbal itself is a problem in general #just that the phrase “going nonverbal” is specific to the experience of involuntarily losing your use of speech #so it is incorrect and a bit ablist to throw it around willy-nilly and dilute what it actually means #and then they had a go at me because “you people” are always changing definitions on a whim #and im getting dogpiled by the original video creator and a bunch of other people #like i wasnt even rude at first i just pointed out that thats not what the phrase means #so now im shaking bc im so mad at someone who claims to be autistic themselves going so far out of their way to defend the creator #but now my body is just filling up with the anger and i feel like my skin is covered in electricity #amd it has nowhere to go bc i blocked the creator to stop myself carrying on bc i could feel myself getting overinvested

[eats-the-stars]

I feel like there are roughly two kinds of "painfully weird kid" that you can be during your K-12 school years. the first is your "I am trying so hard to be normal but I just cannot seem to hit the mark. there's just something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it" and the second is the category I was in, which is your "everyone around me is so incredibly weird but they obviously can't help it so I will just have to accept this."

#being a deeply weird kid in school was definitely an experience #i feel like it's also heightened when you attend a private catholic school #there are just so many more layers of 'oh wow so this is...a thing' to deal with #like i honestly think the shit that private catholic schools do to a kid's head is worse for the normal kids #i was already at a point where i just accepted that my personal perspective of the world was radically different #and you really weren't going to convince me to start loving denim or perfume or makeup #so trying to get me to feel a bunch of religious guilt was also not going to work #i just added it to the long list of things that are important to most ppl that i just don't give a shit about and moved on #honestly being autistic in a private catholic school put me in a much better spot than a normal catholic student #the teachers would say something absolutely batshit insane #like telling us that 'mentally disabled' kids get a free pass to heaven because they have no original sin just like animals #(if u know ur catholic shit u can imagine the multiple layers of 'but wait!' involved in this statement but anyway) #and your normal catholic student would be like 'what?! for real! oh my gosh...but are you sure? oh you are. well...i guess it's true then.. #whereas i would be sitting there like 'wow that is...a wild thing to believe. also u were staring at me for that whole speech so...' #like yeah i did get involved in the heated debates because it was hella fun #but in hindsight it would be really fucked up to be an actual catholic kid in that school because jesus christ... #a lot of our teachers even had strong disagreements over belief shit and would make us all take sides #so it wasn't even like unanimous weird stuff pumped at us. it was like conflicting weird stuff #one intense divide i recall was the simple but highly controversial 'do animals go to heaven?' debate #most said 'yes' with or without conditions #one teacher said 'yes and also disabled kids' which was fucked up and definitely directed at me whenever i was in the room #like some kind of fucked up 'it's okay because you'll get a better life in the afterlife sweetie' kind of thing #while others were like 'ANIMALS? in my heaven? I think not! what did they even do to earn it?! nothing!' #students tended to also be very invested and distressed by the thought of no family pets in heaven #but also very conflicted based on the facts being presented by both sides and also which teacher was their favorite so...

[perenlop]

btw when autistic and adhd people talk about getting mocked for their interests they’re not saying “i was oppressed for liking nintendo and this is the biggest problem autistic people have” we are saying that people made it a point to call us slurs and mock us and would often use our interests (usually ones considered “childish” or “weird” whether its sonic or taxidermy) as evidence we were “weird” and deserved to be ostracized and mocked, usually to get a rise out of us too because of rejection sensitivity disorder and how we’re known to be bad at regulating our emotions. 

#my mutual raf got anons claiming the first thing and oh my god tell me u didnt grow up ND without saying u didnt grow up ND #ik there are bigger issues like us being denied rights and being infantilized and diagnosis being inaccessible #and im not saying this is equal to those but i can say growing up as a kid that shit does mess with your self esteem #you start to think ''im not normal and im bad and cringey bc everyone says i talk too much and like stupid things'' #and it makes it harder to reach out to ppl and find friends bc youre afraid youre going to be mocked once you get comfortable #honestly i say its healthy to have a divide between you and your interests so ppl criticizing them doesnt hurt so bad #and im saying it partly out of experience but again. theres a reason thats common among autistic ppl and why we get so sensitive over this #echoed voice #also in case this blows up unexpectedly no this is not an excuse for nd ppl to supportracists and otherwise bigoted creators #cmon.

[catgirlwizard]

.

#personal #its ridiculous how i was so depressed 2 days ago and then my partner was like. whay if i came over right now even though #its almost midnight. and what if i slept over at your house for 3 nights in a row. and now im sitting here having eaten breakfast for the #first time in like 4 weeks and feeling happy waiting for him to wake up so we can shower together and were #gonna go on a build-a-bear date and i no longer feel like i deserve to d*e with him here #hes just so sweet and i love him a lot and im really lucky to have him in my life <3 ive never been in a relationship where i felt this #safe and comfortable and accepted before and i know he hasnt either and its just nice #definitely helps that were both trans autistic queers with parental trauma so theres a lit about each other that we understand without #needing to explain it in depth #but also he really values communication and even thiigh im so used to shutting all my feelings off and not telling people about them #im trying really hard to not do that with him and its? nice not bottling everything up for once? #he really listens to me when i talk and tries to understand and respect my boundaries all the time and its realy nice to have that #ive been awful at establishing boundaries in past relationships and i didnt feel like my boundaries mattered to at least one ex so its #a nice change of pace to have someone go out of their way to make me feel reapected and valued like thay #and thats not even mentioning all the hot gay transgender sex we have because like. both being on t kind of makes that a necessity dhdjdjdj #its just nice having him in my life and feeling loved and cared for and getting to love and care for him back and im so lucky #that everything fell into place for us to date each other because i really dont know what id have done without him this past half a year #this is so long fhdjsjsjsj im just waoting for him to get up and feeling emotional about how much of a good influence he is in my life <333

[bokatan]

3, 7, 22, 25, 31, and 39

@fuzzydreamin [ fallout OC ask prompts ]

3: What is something other than money that could make your character do something they otherwise wouldn’t want to do? What about something they otherwise really, really, really wouldn’t want to do?

Reed: He'd do basically anything to keep his dog from being hurt or killed, and he'd do a lot in exchange for good intel. He has pretty flexible morals and it really wouldn't take all that much to get him to do something he doesn't want to do.

Mercy: I'm gonna be completely honest this would be very hard to do with her. She might be swayed if her closest friends were in immediate danger, but she's extremely stubborn when she wants to be and there's a lot of very small hills she'd be willing to die on.

Delta: They'd be able to be influenced if their closest friends were at risk of being hurt or killed, or if not doing it was going to result in the Railroad or one of the communities they're affiliated with being attacked.

7: How does your character express anger? Do they have a short temper, do they bury their rage until they burst, or can they handle it well?

Reed: He typically handles it well, but if it's more than he normally deals with it's 100% getting buried. In general it's hard to legitimately piss him off though, at most he's just going to get a bit annoyed or frustrated and if he can he's going to leave before it gets to be too much.

Mercy: She has pretty good composure and acts like she handles it well, but in all reality she has a short temper and it's getting bottled up. She holds grudges like it's her job and she absolutely will take out her anger on people she thinks deserve it.

Delta: They actually handle anger pretty well - they don't hang onto it, they know getting mad isn't going to do help anything so it's pointless to bottle it up.

22: What is your character’s single most handy trait or skill?

Reed: Flexibility. He's very open-minded and has no issues with changing his plans and options in order to get the outcome he wants. Along with this, he's quick witted and mendacious; he tends to do very well with undercover & surveillance work because of this.

Mercy: Methodicalness. She's extremely methodical with pretty much everything she does - nothing goes unaccounted for, she works out every detail and outcome that she can, etc etc. This is a great trait for someone in the medical field, but it can be very lucrative and volatile when combined with a cut-throat and relentless attitude. That combination got her out of the army and into medical research under West-Tek and the Enclave, but it's also put a lot of blood on her hands.

Delta: Problem solving. They're very detail-oriented and pick up on inconsistencies easily, which translates over into many different areas. They mainly use this skill for repairing robots and recycling found materials for new mods, but they're surprisingly good at fine-tuning tactical plans as well.

25: What kind(s) of intelligence would you say that your character does and does not have?

Answered for all three here!

31. What does your OC sound like? What is the tone of their voice, their cadence, and their vocabulary; are they particularly profane or eloquent? Are they funny, and if so, what’s their sense of humor? Are they long-winded or do they speak little, and if it’s the latter, is that only because they’re concise or is it because they have genuine trouble speaking?

Reed: He has a very average, mid-range, & level voice along with a pretty noticeable New York accent and a faster paced speech pattern. He's very direct and typically makes no attempt to soften blows if he's being critical of something or giving someone bad news; he's not trying to be rude but can come off that way because of it. He's not very long-winded but he does tend to be chatty in situations that allow for it - he's the type that'll try to fill in silence by never shutting up, he's just going to say whatever pops in his head and he probably isn't going to stay on one subject for very long. He also talks to animals in the same manner that he talks to people. He overall has a pretty dry sense of humor and he tends to be very sarcastic, but he is a pretty big fan of self-deprecating jokes & dark humor too.

Mercy: She has a deeper voice range and she's pretty soft-spoken; her voice is very raspy from ghoulification though. She has a slower speech pattern and enunciates well; she's from California and she does have a bit of a regional accent, but it's pretty mild and can be easy to miss. She's very blunt and to-the-point and she frequently comes off as standoffish and abrasive because of it. Her sense of humor tends to be on the darker side around people she's comfortable with, and along with that she also has an extremely dry, deadpan sense of humor that can be very easy to miss if you aren't familiar with it.

Delta: Their voice and tone is pretty much identical to Mercy’s(minus the raspiness), but they have a faster speech pattern and their accent’s more what you’d expect to hear in postwar Boston. They’re pretty straightforward as well but not to the point of coming off as abrasive or rude like Mercy and Reed often do- they’re pretty expressive while speaking and they’re more likely to smile and laugh. As far as their sense of humor goes - they tend to be pretty dry too, but they do enjoy surreal humor and they're a big fan of dad jokes.

39: Does your character like to be touched or touch others? How does your character value personal space? What kinds of boundaries, physical and otherwise, are important to your character?

Reed: He's casually affectionate and pretty much acts like a clingy cat with people he's close with; he tends to be a bit touch-starved though, and because of that he can get a bit weird about being touched if he's not the one initiating it. He goes back and forth on how much he likes personal space, he does value it some but at the same time he also loves being close to people. As far as boundaries go: he doesn't have any hard boundaries outside of basic decency and consent.

Mercy: She likes being touched on her terms, and she likes touching people she's close with but otherwise it's a hard no(with the exception of patients when she's claiming to be a doctor - in a professional manner obviously, but sometimes people just need a good hug y'know?). As far as personal space and boundaries go, she loves her personal space and will get stabby if anyone aside from her close friends tries to push that.

Delta: Pretty much the same as Mercy on this one - they'll cuddle with a close friend or something along those lines, and they'll comfort a stranger if they really need it, but otherwise don't touch them unless asked to.

#ask games #thank you!<3 #this definitely did not get buried in my drafts. i don't know what you're talking about #reed tag #mercy tag #delta tag #the speech one is just. tell me all of your OCs are autistic without telling me that all of your OCs are autistic #nobody else Gets dry and surrealist humor like an autistic person

[shen-daozhang]

Realizing as I’m packing for a flight that the number one benefit to having a partner would be to have them put my liquids that don’t fit into my clear quart-size bag into their clear quart-sized bag :’)

#how am I supposed to fit my shampoo conditioner face wash face lotion body lotion foundation toothpaste eye drops and dry shampoo #go without one side tells me #bitch your autistic and picky about what goes on your face you will cry if you don’t like the face wash says the other #txt #children might also be good for this too #rethinking my no children plans now

[cherry-shipping]

ok so like........... obviously i hate the concept of soulmates and soulmate aus cause FUCK the idea that a person is inherently incomplete without another person, thats fucked up and lame. BUT. with the presence of souls being an undeniable fact in undertale and by extension my selfship with sans, and the fact that i headcanon (? i feel like its canon but i might be thinking about inverted fate LOL) that sans' perception of each reset in the underground is, aside from being a knowledge that it IS possible (like asgore), mostly based on each reset bringing a stronger and stronger sense of deja vu as the timelines overlap in his memories. i do sort of like the idea of him meeting me aboveground, his soul recognizing me as its. well. soulmate, i guess. but him confusing that feeling with the deja vu he experienced in the underground and thereby being so fucking suspicious and afraid of me and like. doing everything he can to get me to stay away from papyrus and everyone else, cause he thinks im another anomaly like frisk or flowey. naturally, i dont feel that, because while humans DO have souls monsters are a direct projection of theirs, and humans are significantly less in tune with their souls overall. and since a soulmate thing would. uh. well, heavily depend on the very existence of souls. well, i wouldnt really recognize it as anything but "lol funny bone man i wanna be his friend moreso than the other monsters". anyway i phrased this so badly cause its 6:30am but tl;dr this was a longwinded way of saying "if me and sans were soulmates i wouldnt feel it and hed be terrified of my very existence and would do everything in his power to push me away". lol.

#cherry chats #bf (bone friend) #i feel like i just..... kinda.......... rambled about my monster biology headcanons for the entirety of this post. #wellum anyway! it is my hyperfixation/special interest combo and i have soooo many headcanons and theories i like so Yeah #now i already explained i dont like soulmate aus i think theyre really shitty. also unbearably aro exclusive obviously #but mostly i just hate the idea of not being complete without the presence of another person........ #as if you cannot be whole if you dont devote your life to other people. #im heavily introverted i dont think i need people to be happy and content and um. #you cant tell anyone this this is another secret only my selfship blog followers are privy to #and i might delete this later so im gonna say this in its own tag; #for like maybe a year and a half i think. ive been questioning if im aro. #cause i for sure dont experience love in the same way ive come to understand most people do................. #i love aros everyone knows this but at the same time........ i really DONT wanna be aro #idk why that is but i have to assume its cause ive been so completely comfortable in my demigirl bi identity since i was 13 #like i learned of both of those and ive never before felt the need to question any further. i was like oh yea this is right and that was it #but. like i said i know for certain i dont feel love like most people do #and i dont know if thats cause im aro or if its cause i have trauma or if its cause im autistic or WHAT #but ummm yeah. thats fun cool skenp trivia for you (pls dont tell anyone) #i know i dont need to use any label im not comfortable with and giving it more thought so far hasnt made me more comfortable #if anything its had the opposite effect. but i still cant help but think about it once i realized i dont feel love #except for. One Person. but ive said enough so bye #geez ok i got sidetracked. back to soulmate aus though i Dont Like Them #though i guess that 'empty space' theyd propose you feel before encountering your soulmate could be sort of more palatable if you were to #say you dont know you ever had it UNTIL you met your soulmate. but that doesnt change the fact that its whack #but this is the one soulmate fantasy ill allow myself cause i think its neat <3 #and monsters do have souls so......... i guess soulmates wouldnt be a stretch. but id like for there to at least be the possibility of #multiple soulmates. so its not like 'your life revolves around ONE PERSON who youll likely never meet' cause thats dumb #i talked too much tumblr might delete half my tags lol. guess ill just make another post in that case #anyways BYE

[enlightened-existentialist]

i want autistic culture to be as widespread and ingrained in fan interactions as lgbtness is

#i just want to be able to look up a headcannon without the top result being peole on redit arguing that they "respect everyones hcs but #then say you are wrong about your hc and all the characters behaviours can be explained by magic or w/e #i just want to be happy and not have the first result for autistic media be some baby psychologist trying out their degree by dissecting #meltdowns for audience entertainment. #there is so little representation in fan culture even though we have the same population sizes as the queer community that i just have to #wonder. why is there so little? #i am exhausted #i just want to be happy #please tell me its somewhere i haven't looked yet #autism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic