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#idk why that is but i have to assume its cause ive been so completely comfortable in my demigirl bi identity since i was 13
cherry-shipping · 2 years
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ok so like........... obviously i hate the concept of soulmates and soulmate aus cause FUCK the idea that a person is inherently incomplete without another person, thats fucked up and lame. BUT. with the presence of souls being an undeniable fact in undertale and by extension my selfship with sans, and the fact that i headcanon (? i feel like its canon but i might be thinking about inverted fate LOL) that sans' perception of each reset in the underground is, aside from being a knowledge that it IS possible (like asgore), mostly based on each reset bringing a stronger and stronger sense of deja vu as the timelines overlap in his memories. i do sort of like the idea of him meeting me aboveground, his soul recognizing me as its. well. soulmate, i guess. but him confusing that feeling with the deja vu he experienced in the underground and thereby being so fucking suspicious and afraid of me and like. doing everything he can to get me to stay away from papyrus and everyone else, cause he thinks im another anomaly like frisk or flowey. naturally, i dont feel that, because while humans DO have souls monsters are a direct projection of theirs, and humans are significantly less in tune with their souls overall. and since a soulmate thing would. uh. well, heavily depend on the very existence of souls. well, i wouldnt really recognize it as anything but "lol funny bone man i wanna be his friend moreso than the other monsters". anyway i phrased this so badly cause its 6:30am but tl;dr this was a longwinded way of saying "if me and sans were soulmates i wouldnt feel it and hed be terrified of my very existence and would do everything in his power to push me away". lol.
#cherry chats#bf (bone friend)#i feel like i just..... kinda.......... rambled about my monster biology headcanons for the entirety of this post.#wellum anyway! it is my hyperfixation/special interest combo and i have soooo many headcanons and theories i like so Yeah#now i already explained i dont like soulmate aus i think theyre really shitty. also unbearably aro exclusive obviously#but mostly i just hate the idea of not being complete without the presence of another person........#as if you cannot be whole if you dont devote your life to other people.#im heavily introverted i dont think i need people to be happy and content and um.#you cant tell anyone this this is another secret only my selfship blog followers are privy to#and i might delete this later so im gonna say this in its own tag;#for like maybe a year and a half i think. ive been questioning if im aro.#cause i for sure dont experience love in the same way ive come to understand most people do.................#i love aros everyone knows this but at the same time........ i really DONT wanna be aro#idk why that is but i have to assume its cause ive been so completely comfortable in my demigirl bi identity since i was 13#like i learned of both of those and ive never before felt the need to question any further. i was like oh yea this is right and that was it#but. like i said i know for certain i dont feel love like most people do#and i dont know if thats cause im aro or if its cause i have trauma or if its cause im autistic or WHAT#but ummm yeah. thats fun cool skenp trivia for you (pls dont tell anyone)#i know i dont need to use any label im not comfortable with and giving it more thought so far hasnt made me more comfortable#if anything its had the opposite effect. but i still cant help but think about it once i realized i dont feel love#except for. One Person. but ive said enough so bye#geez ok i got sidetracked. back to soulmate aus though i Dont Like Them#though i guess that 'empty space' theyd propose you feel before encountering your soulmate could be sort of more palatable if you were to#say you dont know you ever had it UNTIL you met your soulmate. but that doesnt change the fact that its whack#but this is the one soulmate fantasy ill allow myself cause i think its neat <3#and monsters do have souls so......... i guess soulmates wouldnt be a stretch. but id like for there to at least be the possibility of#multiple soulmates. so its not like 'your life revolves around ONE PERSON who youll likely never meet' cause thats dumb#i talked too much tumblr might delete half my tags lol. guess ill just make another post in that case#anyways BYE
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antiloreolympus · 3 years
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7 Anti LO Asks
1. How long is the time line in LO? Hades says Apollo’s been harassing Persphone for months, but hasn’t it only be like 2 months max? 
From OP: Hades is overexaggerating. At most, it’s been a month and a couple days.
2. Idk how LO can even TRY to claim being progressive. Persphone is the “born sexy yesterday trope” with the audience being told she’s a high achiever yet lacks a lot in that department.
Is it cause Hades had a chance to be shitty and gross and then didn’t completely be shitty and gross for not harming Persphone when he found her in his car? He knew Artemis was her friend why didn’t he call her to let her know she has her friend? (There was a whole plan to distract Artemis so he could talk to her if I remember right). Hades is still a shitty make lead character (in progressive/character way) we have slave labor, firing employees for small things, getting involved with Minthe his PA/ EX GF and then wanted to TRANSFER HER so he could basically have Persphone replace her. Was the story suppose to be progressive because we got to see a male victim POV? Because the Minthe/Hades dynamic is written so weirdly. Hades has control over her rent/job/utilities, but she has smacked him and says a lot of insults. Minthe shouldn’t abuse but I don’t really have sympathy for Hades. Are we suppose to feel bad for Hades because of Kornos? The story is written in such a way that I lowkey forget about it. Idk sure we get to see Hades be a “good guy” but the way a lot of characters are around him I don’t believe he’s truly a “good guy”
Hera was never much of a feminist icon, but idk if RS is trying to rebrand that or not. Sure she helps Persphone greatly BUT that’s really who she’s willing to help. She finds Minthe to be “nymph trash” and Artemis was something unpleasant, and when she first met echo she didn’t like her right off the bat until she made her tea. She’s basically that meme where it’s like “diversity wins that mean old lady might cheat on her husband with a young lady”. Hera X Echo the next HXP boss/employee couple 🤪
Pysche kinda had a cool plot, and I wish we saw more of the human’s perspective of Olympus hanging out with Aphrodite, BUT WE DONT, and Pysche who hardly knows Persphone is ready to out her assault to Artemis but ends up outing her to Daphne and I assume has her to face ANY consequences for that. Also her character and purely defined by Eros.
There’s more but I feel like I’m going too much on it. 
3. oommmmg even the anatomy got worse??? why are the backs of their heads even smaller now??? you know thats where their brains go right?? rachel where are their brains?? is that why they act so stupidly now??
4. I still can't get over how absolutely disrespectful the ace characters “slowly turning gay over time is.” Like yeah, orientation can change over time but the way asexuality is presented as a phase is disgusting.
Only LO characters turning gay are Minthe and Persephone when I enter my little queer time machine.
5. you know, ive read a fair few long running webtoons and all of them have style changes, but it's always for the better because the artists are refining their senses of anatomy, to push poses, to become more confident in their work. LO is only one i've seen where it's actually gotten worse, with that Hades example being a prime example. Even beyond the worse character design, look at the previous use of interesting colors and light! those are all tone now for blank voids and flat neon colors!
(previous anon asking about the art getting worse) also note that early Hades actually looked reasonable aged? he looks to be maybe at most mid-30s, but he looks regal and attractive with normal but unique proportions (also pretty hair! i miss it!), while current Hades looks like an old man with a ridiculous nose, greased down hair, and looks at least 40 years older than Persephone. OG Hades looked like he made sense with her, while current Hades looks like he needs a visit from Chris Hansen.
6. you know, i still thinks hes a creep but early lo hades at least looked attractive enough to justify persephone getting horny over him (esp bc she didnt know who he really is), but now? nah man, he somehow went into negative sex appeal with an even worse personality. idk how thats even possible to make your romantic lead somehow less appealing, but here we are.
7. i honestly wonder if the art team are playing a joke on rachel but how increasingly stupid they draw hades' nose. it doesnt even look like an styled hook or aquiline nose like it was in the beginning, it just looks like a clown prop. even stylized versions of the joker dont do that. its honestly distracting over looking unique or handsome (which i personally find big and/or hooked noses to look). idk why they had him look half way decent in the start only to make him up looking like /that/ now.
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doodlebloo · 3 years
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yoooooo!!! the c!clingyduo songs are I T rn omg!!!! im absolutely vibrating everyone has E x c e l l e n t taste!! not to be annoying cause ik theres a L o t but, a few more c!clingyduo staples i listen to a lot:
All I Want by Kodaline (“its alright. hey its okay, all good things must come to an end eventually.” but also like. exile. a h)
Burning House by Cam (particularly doomsday and disc war finale vibes imo)
Running Up That Hill by Meg Myers (i cannot express enough how “this is checkmate.” this song is)
Painkillers by Rainbow Kitten Suprise (cw unalive themes, but it Gives c!tubbo imo)
My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift (prison arc….. c!tommy……..)
Factories by Autoheart (gives me very big c!tommy vibes esp after exile? part of this is also how the song Sounds too to be fair absbdbd)
Anchor by Roland Faunte (okay okay but yknow the community house fight?? and the thing where c!tommy was like “ive become worse than everyone ive ever hated” cause this is T h a t)
Wait For Me Reprise from the Hadestown Soundtrack (“who am i without you?” “yourself”)
also this is all platonic! any romance themes in here are ignored, i completely forgot that thats a thing absbdbbd love comes in so many forms!!! im so sorry this is so many feel free to ignore them but i got excited!
hope youre doing well and having fun!
-manon
*Quackity voice* Thank you I am having fun because I'm sexy and awesome and super cool and sexy and awesome
Also ik none of y'all mean this in a romantic way lol I'm not in the business of assuming the worst of ppl. If you think it's only ok to say "I Love You" to your s/o and not to ANYONE else (family friends hell even your pets) you may want to. Reexamine a bit. Love is everywhere <3
(Tho there is obvi some romantic stuff in some of the songs, I've just been cutting it out and taking the /nr quotes I like kind of like web weaving :) )
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Ahh yes the classic Missing You song.... The Dream SMP really did create these characters who were joined at the hip and would have done anything for each other and then purposefully separate them huh 😭
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NOOO Please.... The Nightmares ueueueueu
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"You don't want to hurt me" I'M SO O(-(..........
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"Faith stays young till your heart gets broken" they have been thru SO MUCH...
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AND IF IM DEAD TO YOU WHY ARE YOU AT THE WAKE.............
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STOP bc we never talk abt how Tommy would sleepwalk into the ocean... Someone back in Dec made the hc that he was sleepwalking towards L'Manberg, idk if that even holds up in canon like direction-wise but I've always been in love w that idea
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PLEASE ok the comparison of "I am the hero I am the villain of this fairytale" to Tommy telling Techno he doesn't want to be the hero to Tommy telling Tubbo he feels more like the sidekick... MAN.
And the Hadestown song would be pretty cool for an animatic I can kind of like picture it in my head yk?
Ty for your musical wisdom manon :)
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Red string & Spiders
The Web is obviously gonna be important in season 5 and ive been meaning to dig into some of it’s threads (hah) for a while. Now, I know about Web!Martin and I admit that it’s a possibility, but i dont personally see the narrative taking that route. 
I don’t know that all these connections are intentional manipulations either, but I’m just gonna work under the assumption that they are and see where it gets me. Somewhere behind the scenes, Annabelle and the Mother are playing five dimensional chess and laughing at all of us.
This ended up being a bit long (1.5k words, whoops!) so it’s going under a cut.
123: Web Development. 
“You would have to write out, and post, in full, a horrible event that had happened to you, or someone that you loved.“ This sounds an awful lot like Annabelle is collecting statements, possibly scouting victims and potential vectors through which she can influence the Institute? She starts doing this in early 2015 and that brings me to
16: Arachnophobia & 39: Infestation
Carlos Vittery's name is found in the Chelicerae website. His experience happened in early 2015 and he made his statement in April. Investigating his statement is what brings Martin into contact with Jane Prentiss and sets into motion a chain of events that saves everyone during the Infestation. ie, he ends up living at the archives and stashes the extra fire extinguishers and the corkscrew.
Of course, Prentiss is also forced to start the wormpocalypse early after Jon accidentally discovers it when killing a spider.
147: Weaver & 80: The Librarian
It’s that damn lighter. From 147: “I realise that addiction is one of the strongest vectors of control there is.“ Leitner wouldn’t have been left alone if Jon hadn’t gone for a smoke, or just vaped instead. (Daisy helpfully mentions that he smokes Silk cut brand at one point -.-)
Of course, the lighter was delivered alongside the web table and destroying it is also what directly lead Jon to meeting Leitner in the first place. idk if the goal here would’ve been to actually get Leitner killed or if that was just a side-effect of pushing Jon further along his journey?¨
121: Far Away
The Web sends Oliver Banks to feed Jon a statement and encourage him to go full avatar. It’s just very kind and helpful, huh?
130: Meat
It helpfully points toward using a body part as an anchor when entering the coffin. This whole mess gets Jon marked by both the Flesh and the Buried.
Hill Top Road, pt 1
There’s A Lot Too Unpack Here
So they’re originally using this place to ensnare fresh adults and filling them with spiders. I think it is a place of power and essentially a production facility for the hollow type of spider person that Trevor encounters in 56. These might very well be the “spider husks” that got Daisy sectioned in the first place. 
Then there’s the whole mess with Agnes. I still don’t feel like I fully understand what went down there. Let’s look at these two quotes:
“she had destroyed the place utterly. And yet she remained bound to it, tied to it in some vital way.” (Eugene Vanderstock, 139)
“It let the Mother of Puppets bind me to Agnes, interweave our existences at some… metaphysical level, as it had with Fielding and the house.” (Gertrude, 145)
So we have ties that bind between Fielding/Hill Top, Agnes and Gertrude. The way Eugene talks about it, seems that being bound to Hill Top wouldn’t prevent her from realising her destiny, but being bound to Gertrude did. And while waiting for Gertrude to die, doubt crept into her and made her unfit for their grand ritual.
I still don’t understand why the uprooting of the tree at Hill Top is what spurred Agnes to finally end it though. It seems like that might’ve broken the bond between her and that place, which you’d think is a good thing? idk, maybe we’re not done with Agnes yet, or I’m just overthinking it.
Hill Top Road, pt 2
Season 5 babey!
“I can’t say much about exactly what happened within the walls of that house, but it seems the fight scarred the place in a way far deeper than simple fire. A scar in reality, that I believe has since been compounded by the interferences of other powers.” (Eugene, 139)
“There is something wrong with Hill Top Road. You know it as well as I do. Some strange scar on reality at the center of - whatever it is that the Spider is spinning.” (Helen, 146)
First, idk if it’s anything but this kinda reminds me of how Jon is marked by every fear. 
Second, episode 114. This is the episode I keep coming back to when thinking about Hill Top Road cause what the heck is up with this:
“I went to clean that house on April the 23rd 2009 which, according to all of you, is tomorrow. But it can’t be. That was two weeks ago. I’ve tried to talk to my friends about it. Those of my friends I can find, but they seem distant, like they don’t really know me. Everything is just... wrong. I can’t find my favourite coffee shop. And I don’t know who you people are.“
This whole episode reeks of alternate universe and I’m just ??? Additionally, the lady talks about the tree in the backyard, but it was uprooted in 2006, so even more AU vibes. Of course, it could be mental manipulation, someone altering her memories, but that seems like a weird red herring that Jon doesn’t even pursue. 
Alternatively, we’ve seen NotThem rewrite reality around a person and at this time the NotThem was bound to the Web table. I don’t think that’s anything, particularly given that the table was destroyed, but it’s a thought. (And NotSasha was very recently released back into the world so, hmm)
Ultimately I feel like the lady in 114 may have been a kind of experiment? A trial run to see exactly how they could harness this scar in reality, or to see if they needed to exacerbate it further? Whatever it is, I’m certain it’s gonna be Important™ in season 5.
81: A Guest for Mr. Spider
I don’t think baby-Jon was necessarily targeted beyond being a convenient victim. Him walking away from Mr Spider alive though, that may have made him interesting. I wonder if the Web being the first to mark him carries special significance and that’s maybe why it’s been assisting him? Its highly speculative but the Web did also mark Gertrude and it sounds like it may have been her first mark too. (Assuming the cat thing to be a joke)
Maybe it’s trying to use this to hijack Elias’ ritual somehow? Or to do a second ritual? Or the order of the marks has no significance and all it wanted Jon for was the Mass Ritual?
110: Creature Feature & 136: The Puppeteer
I feel like I know the least about these two. I don’t know to what extent they’re really connected but Neil Lagorio and the film angle seems like a big thing, and Annabelle’s presence makes me think it’s part of something bigger.
So Lagorio is supposed to be creating a spider animatronic but is actually housebound (you could even say homestuck). Annabelle shows up at his place and spends 5 months doing something before he dies. As news of his death break, a big spider monster kidnaps ~100 actors. It doesn’t feel like a big leap to say that he probably created (or was used to create) some sort of spider in the end.
idk what the end goal here is though, why did Annabelle send Lagorio’s original cuts to the Institute? Why is one body a year washing up on a beach? Are they just using them to lay eggs in, or as food? Just killing people isn’t very spider-y but I guess everyone needs to eat?
This whole thing is giving me ritual vibes but I don’t think that’s it? At least not your standard ritual.
Elias & 160
I feel like the Web has definitely helped us get to 160 but I don’t think Elias is directly working with it. They just seem to share the completion of the Mass Ritual as a goal. (Or maybe they are working together and Elias is getting played somehow, that’d be nice.)
Annabelle straight up says “Maybe I’ve occasionally been nudging something here and there to keep you safe, to keep everything on track” and she directly calls out his compulsion to read statements, which Elias’ ultimately uses to set it off. I feel like, if she wanted to stop it, she would’ve just found some way to kill Jon.
I don’t know if the final goal was just to piggyback on Elias’ ritual though, that feels a bit too simple, especially since Hill Top Road hasn’t been resolved. There’s probably some further, sinister plot at play that just needed the fearpocalpyse to be a thing. I don’t know what it is, but it’s gonna involve a big spider and Hill Top Road.
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bunnykass · 3 years
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INARIZAKI AS FEELING IVE HAD WITH GUYS IN HIGH SCHOOL
this was supposed to be funny but became very reflective and sorta emotional for me. therapeutic tho😌
TW: mentions of underage n*des, cursing, grammar and spell errors
KITA - the senior in my law class freshman year.
He was country, would wear cowboy boots to class and levi’s (i live in texas). He was a eagle scout. very sweet boy. always brought coffee in those cups to class,and he drove a range rover. i’d share sunflower seeds with him all the time and id make fun of him cause instead of breaking the shell and eating the inside, he’d just eat the shit whole. but like i said he was 18 and I was 14. more of crush we never really did anything, one time though he did argue with me on snapchat about immigration and the annexation of hawaii. He had a brother who was a freshman, and in the beginning of the second seamstress I would flirt with him but again me and never did anything.
OMINI - my freshman english teacher
(tw mentions of sexual assault, grooming, teacher-student relationship)
LMAOO. i had just gotten really into lolita (gross🤮) and so I would literally talk to older guys on the internet (one time i met up with marine even though I was like 15) ANYWAY, so when I started his class i was like damn we about to have a ezra and aria shit. he was super nice to “pretty girls” and “pretty boys” what I mean by that if you weren’t the beauty standard, he was kinda a dick to you. one time he pissed me off though cause he lost a assignment, made me re-do it but only gave me a 70, and i lost interest in him after that. he also accused me of defamation of character because i found his mugshot and was showing everyone.btw he was accused of SEXUAL ASSUALT??? but apparently the mugshot was fake or wasn’t him i don’t remember. he never counted me late or absent tho
ARAN - my best friend
been friends with this kid sense 8th grade. He was in love with this girl though that was leading him on all though out middle school but i really had a crush on him by the time high school started he had gotten over her. when we were freshmen’s he told the whole football team I was a whore cause i wouldn’t send him nudes (i know this sounds bad but i promise it wasn’t plus this was 3-4 years ago) so we didn’t talk to each other till summer going into sophomore year. me and him are still friends and we literally hang out almost every weekend, i love him and he’s loves me. he’s very thing i’d want in a boyfriend but because we’ve been friends for so long doing intimate things with each other like sex seems weird. While we both wish we could be in a relationship we both realstically know it wouldn’t work :(. <3
GINJIMA - my freshmen boyfriend
had fallen in love with me when like school started but like my best friend aran said, i was whoreing’ (not really tho cause i’m still a virgin) so when he asked me to homecoming I was like no. but eventually through out the school year me and him got closer we had like 3 classes together, 2 of them were back to back so we were jus cute like that. my first legit relationship, he was nerdy as hell and the biggest fucking dork. my freshmen year I was what the yt would call a hot cheeto girl and i weighed a lot more back then and he was 6’2-skinny white boy so we fucking looked like glora and melman from madagascar. were like discord moderator and daddy’s kitten shit. he was funny but he was really mean to me and because i was very insecure at the time i lacked setting boundary’s so i’d just take it. he also bought me a roku which i still have today, he was always buying me shit, and i taught him how to take dick pics. he was the first guy that didn’t just like me for my fat tits but i felt like the only way i could keep him around was by oversexualizing myself which ultimate let to him breaking up with me :( honestly no hard feelings though we were both like 15. him an his current girlfriend are so cute, and me and him are cool.
this is a conversation we had a few weeks ago.
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SUNA - my yubo boys
my take away from being in highschool is guys do not give a shit about what you look like or how you’re built, unless they’re insecure, and also self-worth. I got on yubo my sophomore year and had it till my junior year. if you don’t know what yubo is its essentially a teen dating app. now i never went to meet these guys irl i have friends who did... and i just want to stay ted bundy would’ve had a field day with these hoes but would engage in online sexting. which ig is illegals cause i was still under 18. at this point in my life i was just so insecure and seeking male validation that i was throwing ass for people over the internet to people i would never meet. this isn’t one person either this is a collective of i don’t even know how many boys. i feel sick thinking about this but i cant take it back and i just have to encourage my sister and potentially future daughters about this.
Miya twins - my tower moments
these two, like the miya twins are very similare but different. I consider them both tower moments because after them two i change completely how i viewed myself and life. if you aren’t familer with tarot the tower card represents sudden and necessary changes usually the situation tends to me negatives and the outcome following is good. these two are also my most recent compared to the other and i’m still dealing with them today which is why i wanted to give a lil intro. idk if yall believe in astrology but those two have gemini in there big 3 and idk i feel like that has a lot to do with our situationship
OSAMU- my theater teachers son
so technically majority of our relationship was middle school but it carried into high school.he was so mean to me up until 8th grade like i said he was my theater teachers son, and he hated her class. at that time his family had so many issues and i think he didn’t have a outlet. my brother had died around the same time so i too was going through shit. while our issues weren’t the same he definitely confined in me a lot and trusted me with so many things, i don’t think a boy/guy ever just laid everything on me like that and it wasn’t in a “be my therapist” kinda way. he fucked up though, we were in musical theater behind the stage in a closet. his mom was just a couple feet away in the audiences teaching class. me and him were talking per usual, and without a warning he put his tongue down in my mouth. and tried putting his hand down my bra. i was so fucking scared i had never been touched like that. it was my first kiss and i didn’t even tell him he could do that to me. i obviously stopped taking to him after that until the summer going into freshman year when we started sending nudes back snd forth. i don’t like to blame people for my problems but i think i began to hyper sexualize myself because of him. when i wouldn’t send him shit he’d block me, ive finally outgrown him as i now my self worth know occasionally i’ll unblock him and hang out with him for fun but it’s nothing serious. he’s stuck on me like tic though and always bring up the fact he kissed me once in 8th grade 🙄
ATSUMU - my “twinflame”
he was a year older then me and i met him on snap chat that should’ve been a red flag. we started by sending nudes but eventually we started to develop feelings however as soon as things got serious he’d pull out. when his relations with other girls wouldn’t work out he’d always come back to me during that time together he’d love bomb me. take me on dates make out with each other in front of hobby lobbies on sunday, my happiness started to depend on if he talked to me or not and this went on forever. by the time quaratine happened he blocked me because he got a girlfriend? idk if that’s why he blocked me but i assumed that eventually he unblocked me because pussy that good. i gave this man so much power over my life that when i took it back i truly learned by self worth. i will never tell this man this but because of all the shit he pulled on me i’m actually confident. i don’t regret meeting him. occasionally he does try to pull his shit on me and i play along with him. i think the reason i can’t let my gemini boys go is because i’m too scared for a relationship but i know that no matter what they’re both their for fun 😌.
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seacollectsrivers · 3 years
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terror 4: punished, as a boy
oh no i’ve wholly forgotten what year anything takes place in. this is five months after what? the last time we saw Sophia and lady Jane or after franklin died??
charles dickens mention!!
ok I assume it's after the events of the last episode, and the terror and erebus is officially not where they were supposed to be
"lady Jane had supposed bylot island" lmao get em!!
I dont like lady Jane on a personal level, but I like how grounded she is. and bold, in that society. she reminds me of grandma Guthrie tbqh!!
fuck them uppppppp
idk if I've mentioned but I really dig the intro. it's beautiful and short enough for me to never skip it
brooding alone in a dark room. a Mood.
is this jopson!! ive heard about this lad. he's a dote!
oh god I dont know WHY but I keep forgetting the tuunbaq's an issue. or like I imagine the ships are safe zones, like some kinda video game??
I dont know Edward. I dont know Strong. sorry to these men.
now hang on this lad is 13 at best?? don’t bring him??
oooh ok I think I know who Strong is
aurora lookin all pretty up there :)
ONCE MORE the sound design!!!! the MUSIC!
hmmm no nope I am Worried this will NOT end well
jesus did it really lay a trap???
oh god this is. this is gonna weigh heavy on Crozier isn’t it :(
.....how much alcohol did they actually bring for this mission. hasn’t it been like, more than a year.
this is such a serious and dour scene, with death looming and alcoholism and all, and yet I'm here like aww.... lookit them. domestic scenes :)
sharing of pained history timmmeee
oh well ok apparently thats just common knowledge hahahaha sorry crozier
"regretted how it had happened" but not that it happened i guess?
brains out man's alive???
I don’t wanna watch this but i’m also scared ill miss something
ugh I don’t like the redcoats mostly bc I don’t like the military worship that it seems some of these lads have
oh worm. ghosts is it.
well I'm once more Worried.
oh worm NOT ghosts that is NOT a ghost!
wait, is that birthday boy???
oop racism in james jumped out
listen i know how racism works but have they completely forgotten they're the ones who killed her da. obvi the creature isn't her doing but like,,,, if you're believing she's acting out of revenge....
wholly unrelated but I love the sliding doors at the ships
oooh look at crozier in his lil embroidered waistcoat! I would like more of it!
"false" ok but 2 of those statements are objectively true.
this might be my aro ass jumping out but I do get Sophia. you kinda had to be practical about stuff like that, esp as a woman. can't live on love always you know.
the Franklins can choke on their classism and racism tho idc lol
o fuck o god
ok but crozier yelling. 😳
aight i’m. I think i’ve been kinda assuming hickey to be a s1 silver type. like I assume everything he does has an agenda, when he hasn't really actually, so far, done anything to warrant that? he just gives off a vibe lol.
like I don’t particularly trust him but I think I'm giving him too much credit. I don’t know what his end goal is here, except a genuine belief that she's the cause.
he’s very theatrical i like his storytelling
it’s his SMILING thats why, anytime he says anything he has this like hehehehe i’m so clever smile
oooh she’s netsilik! Good to know
the only part of the punishment i understand is the lashes. do I gotta look up naval language once more
"bring me a full chart and I'll show you exactly where we are"
disrespect to the girl go OFF crozier!!!
ah, ok, I think I get hickey a little more.
I am WORRIED about this punished as a boy thing!!!!
whippings are. ouff.
ok i’m gonna be honest I skipped the whipping scene, ill look up a recap bc I'm :T
"I know you dream of such things" tf does this mean
goodsir's genuine outburst of no! when asked if he's been lashed skjshd he's a DOTE
oh noooo scurvy? nooo :(
tobacco! from whomst 👀
i’m SO glad its goodsir feeding the Netsilik woman, only man I trust
"this is not how englishmen act" oh boy.... Google how do I tell 19th c earnest men about the atrocities of the English empire
looking up a recap, the whipping stirred up some sympathy from the men for Hickey? so I assume the tobacco was like a we’re on your side kinda deal
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imastrangebean · 4 years
Text
taz things ive been meaning to write down
ok so The Adventure Zone is a blessing to this world as are the McElroys in general
idk where i was going with that theyre just great
ANYWAYS
something that always lowkey bothered me about balance was the slight inconsistencies that arose from the fact that the story wasnt completely fleshed out until like halfway through crystal kingdom
dont get me wrong i love every little detail about taz but my brain always has to read too much into things and so ive overanalyzed a lot of the things from the beginning and i figured id share it
spoilers btw
1. Merle has gaps in his memory where he’ll accidentally remember things the Voidfish took away from him at random moments in time.
This is something I saw on another post, and now I cant unsee it
There are several moments where Clint has made some sort of goof that alludes to something that ends up happening later on. Of course, mechanically, this couldn’t have actually been planned, but I doubt any of these were. It’s just a nice little coincidence to tie up the story.
For example, when Merle asks to talk while they’re walking in (I believe it was) Wave Echo Cave, he phrases it in a way to make it sound like they’ve known each other for a while when they’d supposedly just met. (”I just feel like we’ve grown apart.”) Another time, in Crystal Kingdom, when Noelle was explaining what Liches were, Clint joked and said something along the lines of “Well I have some close friends that are liches.” (Lup and Barry) He is also the one to step in when Taako almost succumbs to the Gaia Sash, and he asserts his dominance in an unconventional but successful manner. 
2. The reason THB can handle the relics is because they helped create them.
This one is pretty straightforward, but I don’t know if they actually said it in the podcast.
3. Lucretia talked about the Umbra-Staff.
Going back and relistening to the podcast caused me to realize a couple of things. This is where I’m talking about the inconsistencies; the first two were just random headcanons I thought I’d jot down.
When Taako brings the Umbra-Staff to the Bureau of Balance headquarters, Lucretia tells him to bring it to Leon who finds the Umbra-Staff in his book. There was only ever one Umbra-Staff made, as was revealed in The Stolen Century, since Lup only needed one. The Umbra-Staff was also an original creation, so there would be no reason for there to be copies of it unless one of the seven birds tried to replicate it, and Lup is probably the only one who would be able to match it exactly. As a result, it can be assumed that Leon’s book was somehow factually incorrect. It says in his book that the Umbra-Staff is one of many, not one of a kind; not to mention the fact that it was in his book at all. The seven birds kept a low profile on Faerun before Lucretia and Fisher turned everything upside down, so there’s no logical reason as to why anyone but the seven of them would know about the Umbra-Staff. That would mean that one of them wrote Leon’s book, and, considering where it ended up and its off-putting misinformation, it was almost definitely Lucretia. She likely put the Umbra-Staff in his book as a way to honor Lup or in hopes that she would return, identifiable by her unconventional wand, but she probably pretended there were multiple in an attempt to keep suspicions from arising as to where this one-of-a-kind object no one has heard about came from.
4. Lucretia was teaching Davenport how to talk.
As we all know, Davenport lost the ability to say anything but his name after Fisher erased his memories. This means that he didn’t learn how to talk until sometime after joining the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration. He did, however, learn how to speak before the century-long mission; this is shown when he talks in front of the crowd at the assembly-type event that was arranged to celebrate the beginning of the mission. Even so, Lucretia erased the IPRE and, subsequentially, Davenport’s ability to communicate.
She probably didn’t realize that would happen, as he probably learned to speak before meeting her, and she probably felt guilty. That would explain why she kept him so close to her side, so she could protect and nurture him. He’d acted as somewhat a fatherly figure in the group, (though he was still their friend, and he did some reckless stuff; don’t get me wrong) and Lucretia would’ve felt the need to repay him. She would’ve had to start teaching him to speak sometime between the original erasure of everyone’s memories and the arrival of THB. The reason I say this is because, while Davenport is known for only ever saying his name, he starts out saying more than just that. It doesn’t last long, but he does communicate in concise sentences for his first few interactions with THB. The only way that would be possible would be if he were being coached by someone, and that someone would’ve had to be Lucretia. Lucretia likely stopped once she saw Taako, Magnus, and Merle, as she probably decided to then focus her efforts solely on channeling the relics and the light of creation into the shielding spell.
Another interesting thing I’ve seen about that is something that I personally accept as a headcanon: 
Magnus, upon gaining the knowledge that Davenport can only say his name, decides to prank Davenport by scaring him and saying “Magnus!” to mimic Davenport in a sense. However, when he does, Davenport reflexively jumps and responds with “Dammit, Magnus, stop doing that!” They then both get confused, and Davenport immediately goes back to being unable to talk.
anyways thats a lot of typing im probably gonna lay down now
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viktormaru · 5 years
Text
a super post on some kakashi and sakumo meta
Alright lets do this
BOOKS?? idk is there any connection how lil Sass and Strict Kakashi somehow ends up to porn?? did he accidentally read the word 'boob' in one of Sakumos books and was forever tainted.
According to Naruto Online, Kakashi starts reading Jiraiya’s books at age 18. So what I think happened is well ... puberty. Kakashi shows a bit of an interesting in reading early on so we can assume he was already into books. But then I imagine that like... he hit puberty at around 14 but things were still a mess back then, seeing minato dies then and so on so Kakashi never had a chance to process those things properly. But then time passes, he’s ANBU and he needs to do something whenever he’s stuck on the village be it to recover or simply because he has no missions. He’s gotta isolate himself and Gai keeps giving him frowny looks at the depressing books he has so he goes to the bookstore to get a new one and its like... he bumps into some sales and oh.. its Jiraiya’s book... Kakashi knows Jiraiya. And he opens the thing and goes red. Glances around and its like, his whole new set of hormones make themselves very known and Kakashi buys the thing and reads it alone and is super embarrassed but LOVES it. Its so different from everything else his read he cannot stop reading it. Travel fowards a little and Kakashi notices he can use it to troll other people so he starts reading it in public.
Do you think Sakumo brought Kakashi along on missions a lot? Lower ranked missions, as bonding and training? And and, because the leaf village doesn't vet these things, one of those D/C missions actually turns out much more dangerous than intended and Sakumo has to teach Kakashi how to kill much earlier than he intended to, which is partially why Kakashi is desensitized to violence until the one dead is his dad
Yes! I think at first Sakumo would bring Kakashi along because he didn’t trust anyone with the baby (and he was paranoid the kid would die if he got too far away ever since his wife died) so kakashi is a mandatory company for any missions within the village. It becomes a habit and when Kakashi’s curious eyes just swept over anything Sakumo did , he found it cute. And then Kakashi started to try to copy what Sakumo did and proved that maybe he could do those things as well. So sakumo takes him along as a learning experience and just a way to spend time with him (sakumo is not good at Dad-ing in his own opinion but he’d good at ninja-ing, so if he can teach kakashi how to ninja, he will). And yes, I can see missions going south and Sakumo having to teach Kakashi about life and death, about in the shinobi world sometimes its you or them, and Kakashi having to process it the best way he can. Kakashi knows early on that poorly trained shinobi are dead shinobi.
Opinions on animals that are not dogs?? Are they okay with cats or do they Dislike because of the cat v dog natural fight
They are probably ok with other animals, including cats. Dogs are just their favorites. Also, Kakashi might be a dog lover but he’s sure cat-like often! Gotta stick with the pack though, dogs number 1.
What was Sakumo's relationship with the ninken?
With his own or Kakashi’s? I love the idea that Sakumo had a pack of wolves that he called The Ladies (read that on a fic but can’t remember it now). Just a bunch of amazing wolves that Sakumo respects a lot (hes the babiest of them all, they call him soft). If you mean Kakashi’s... idk if like... 5 years old is an age in which summoning is possible but I think Sakumo would love them as his own children as well (in a way).
What did Kakashi tell his dad in the afterlife?
Tales of team minato at first! Sakumo would have loved clumsy obito, kind rin and the lovely Minato. He tries to tell him happy stories. He goes over the sad stories and the losses and he tells him about Gai, about how sakumo had been right and how Gai really has made a difference. He tells about team 7 and their potential. He talks about himself and about how much he’s changed from the little girl he used to be and he hopes he could be something his father could be proud of. 
Did Sakumo attend PTA meetings
*googles PTA*
AH
Well, he had to when they decided to boost Kakashi through the ranks. Sakumo was shitting his pants in fear thinking something might have happened to Kakashi or some trouble was stirred with the kids but then they were just like “yea hes too good to be in this class” and gave praises about his childs performance and sakumo was just like “..... ok....”
Do you think Kakashi hated his dad for a while after his suicide? Or do you think he hated the village?
I think he hated his father, or tried really hard to. It’s really complex. Kakashi seems to still love his father despite everything but... hating the village is something that is just.. its not possible. Its not allowed. Kakashi was bred to fight and die for the village first and foremost and what that means is that if the village turned against him then its cause he must redeem himself. And if his father died under the pressure, then its cause his father couldnt give the village what he should have given. The village abandoned him cause he deserved it, sakumo abandoned him cause he chose to. 
Kakashi understands the reason his father did what he did, but falls into denial because the opposite would turn against the village. And now that he was alone, how the hell could that even be possible? If he becomes a better ninja he will prove himself to everyone. If sakumo had been a better ninja he wouldnt have been scorned so much. Simple logic. 
Its easier then thinking about the morals of one actions and the whole deal of humanity versus being a weapon of the village. 
What happened to Sakumo's ponytail
Kakashi cut it
Did Sakumo read Jiraiya's books
I dont think sakumo was alive by the time jiraiya published his first book! I think Jiraiya had a few drafts before though, just random stuff he’d scribble. Sakumo liked the cheesy romance shorts (they were bad).
In SD, there's a joke that Sakumo is the inventor of the One Thousand Years of Death. Thoughts?
i LOVE IT. Sakumo impressing Kakashi with a super secret dangerous forbidden technique and Kakashi is like oh?!?!!! And he tries to get Jiraiya with it.
Relationship between Sakumo and Minato?
Ah! Theres one fic out there that i really like that shows how i picture their relationship to be like. Minato at first being a nervous puppy around this Man of Legends Sakumo, and said man  being completely unaware of his status and just being like “oh wow what a nice boy”
 this fic btw: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854022
Relationship between Sakumo and the three sannin?
Jiraiya likes Sakumo because Sakumo is very easy to be dragged to places and he can talk nonstop to him and Sakumo is usually too nice to call him an idiot. Sakumo hangs out with Jiraiya cause he fills the silence for the both of them and makes him leave his home and try to have fun some times (sakumo is a workaholic unfortunetely)
Tsunade thought he was a coward at first but its also very easy to make him pay for your tab so she keeps him around. She learns eventually that he!s smart and a good person and a good listener! So they become friends and they can gossip about jiraiya too. Sakumo was definitely terrified if tsunade at first but shes too fucking cool and smart. Hes always scared into hanging out with her but ends up enjoying himself around her.
Orochimaru finds him too bland. Sakumo is boring and soft and he fights like a legend but says sorry too much. They only hang out because of their shared friend circle. Sakumo is too busy being socially inept to know what to do around Orochimaru. Its painfully awkward, he feels bad.
Has Sakumo beaten up Hiruzen?
Oh hell yeah! They totally must have sparred at some point and DAMN Sakumo’s a beast when hes fighting. Hits like a fucking truck. Destroy that old man.
Is Kakashi gay
Yes
What do you think if kakashi wanted to be a medical and how will that affected the storyline
Oh! Ive read a fanfiction on this! Its pretty good and I think its about how things would have happened if Kakashi was a medinin.
https://archiveofourown.org/series/1273706
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autisticstarseed · 4 years
Note
if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀
ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;
💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?
hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed
💎- What was your favorite part?
osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least
⛰️-  What was the hardest part?
THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig
🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?
BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone
🏟️- Who was your intended audience?
mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]
🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?
hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)
🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?
kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode
🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?
:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing
📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?
i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.
🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?
ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️
☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?
8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,
✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?
yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters
☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?
o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually
🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?
Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist
📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?
probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe
💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?
oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))
✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?
hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e
⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?
i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;
“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “
📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?
AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce
🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?
isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,
🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?
hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all
TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )
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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years
Text
hhhhhhxh
more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla
so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)
also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????
i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 
this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude
what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend
oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......
leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo
or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse
GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow
does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 
ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious
man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid
killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 
killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 
I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute
why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this
wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????
leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh
killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid
illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 
gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 
KILLUA ;_; 
this poor baby assassin :( :( :(
IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH
meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 
like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 
this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks
i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son
DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 
all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow
i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....
LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 
and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 
i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 
of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 
also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)
ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy
god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face
LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm
illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 
KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave
illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 
‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now
leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 
also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js
illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 
classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!
killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo
and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO
and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss
this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord
god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 
oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling
AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff
tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad
‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family
of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 
kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 
leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 
HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it
pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn
tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 
gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough
gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.
also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 
ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo
PREDICTIONS: 
i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao
i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 
also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 
i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 
as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 
im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao
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an autistic analysis, lyric by lyric, of ‘i love play rehearsal’
ive been hyperfixating over bmc for the last month and i keep thinking about how autistic the main characters are and christine is so very very very autistic coded to me. so i decided im just going to straight up deconstruct the lyrics of her signature song in the context of her being autistic (and also having adhd, but my experience is mostly in autism)
this is very very rambley and based more on personal experience than research, so i doubt itll be interesting to anybody but me, but i just want to talk about christine, the autistic queen
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I love play rehearsal Because its the best! Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as its done.
it goes without saying that chrstine’s special interest is theater right? the way she treats it as the “highlight of [her] life” and then switches into this song after acting completely awkward and disinterested in jeremy outside of the context of him being engaged in her special interest.
But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed No, im not into self-harm Dude, I swear, here check my arm!
overexplaining in a way that reads very much like speaking before she thinks, even though bringing up self harm in casual conversation with someone you barely talk to is not exactly proper etiquette. i think this is also an adhd trait? going faster than your own brain. that’s basically this whole song.
See, I just use the word to emphasise a point, Show the passion I have got I am passionate a lot. I have mad, gigantic feelings, Red and frantic feelings, About most everything Like gun control, like spring,
a lot of people assume autistic people are typically emotionless but it’s also very easy for us to get caught up in emotional issues especially when it comes to stuff we love, and it catches us off guard. christine being hyperempathetic is implied later in the show when she has that awful survivors’ guilt over making fun of rich and jake, and it also plays into her being so socially conscious as well.
Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be.
being an high school junior is really rough bc of all the decisions that have to be made regarding college and your future as an independent adult, and being autistic just makes it worse bc it can easily lead to burnout to deal with so much at once, if you even can comprehend these things much at all (i had no idea what to do, lol). i doubted my ability to grow up and succeed constantly because i had no idea who to talk to and what questions to ask and how to present myself. that’s something that a lot of people worry about, but having social delays makes it way more of a pressing issue than it is for neurotypicals, i feel.
I also have a touch of ADD. Where was I? Oh, right!
self explanatory and very canon. adhd and autism can be diagnosed simultaneously nowadays and the symptoms overlap a lot, btw.
I love play rehearsal, Cause’ you are equiped with direction and text, Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next. Anywho the point that I’m getting to is sometimes life can’t work out in the way It works out in the play
this part screams autistic culture to me. unpredictability is scary because social situations don’t always go smoothly like in fiction! this is why social scripting is a popular therapy tactic for autistic children- you have to manually study social situations like a script. theater is something meant to be memorized and recited until you’re able to process it and manufacture emotion, but honestly for autistic kids, life feels a lot like that sometimes. remember how miserable she got when one of her favorite plays had the script changed without her permission to make a whole new story she doesn’t know? of course that’s just upsetting on its own, but in the context of her knowing theater so well and being fully prepared for one story only to be forced to learn a new one? ouch.
christine is never shown as comfortable outside her element- she hides in a book during “more than survive” and shrinks into nothing at the party. it’s a recurring theme that she has no idea exactly who she is, struggles with her identity outside of theater, and despite not really caring about how people see her, she does care about her own ability. socializing makes her feel awkward, especially when something totally unexpected happens like jake or jeremy asking her out. if she doesn’t have a plan or routine or, well, a script, then she can’t trust herself to go forward.
Like the only time I get to be the center of attention, Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois
as an autistic theater kid, i just really do relate to being clueless and dumb in real life but being able to totally thrive on the stage, because you can channel the energy that is usually misplaced in real life social interactions, and transfer it through dialogue and song and dance that someone else laid out nicely for you.
and can I mention? That was really one of my best roles, Did you see that?
an epic combination of letting your mind wander easily without caring about making sense to the person you’re speaking to, and taking every opportunity to infodump. in a lot of productions she even mimics her blanche voice just for fun. jeremy tries to respond here but she doesn’t care because she’s in her own brain where everything only really seems to make sense to her.
And no matter how hard I try, It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why, I love play rehearsal. I happiness cry whenever it starts!
if she isn’t being hyperbolic then this plays into my ‘so much emotion it’s hard to control’ thing detailed a bit above. either way, big special interest mood.
It’s just so universal Getting to try playing so many parts. Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, The thought of that gives me hives! I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue,
it’s a lot easier to lose yourself and connect to your special interest than focus on your very complex, very overwhelming real life issues. escaping into fiction and being able to play in a variety of social situations as a totally different person, yay theater!
in general i just like the idea of christine struggling to visualize who she is and thinking about a lot of hypothetical but being unable to choose which one is most desirable or plausible. idk if that’s autistic or just a fun character trait lol. i know jumping from interest to interest is an adhd thing though.
this little passage is good for at least showing that christine distinguishes herself from ‘most humans’ in a way that isn’t so much ‘not like other girls’ but like ‘life is so much more confusing to me than it seems to be to others’ (which the show proposes isn’t exactly true and is the same closed-mindedness that jeremy has, though christine realizes it sooner; however; the sentiment rings true in that christine, as a neurodiverse young woman, has a lot more hoops to jump through than a neurotypical classmate.)
And why am I telling this to you? Guess there’s a part of me that wants to.
jeremy is also very autistic coded in my eyes, but that’s a separate post. i just like them being drawn to each other through that sort of kinship. also if you interpret her as having an unrealized requited crush on him…well, i think for a lot of us, romantic love is easy to confuse with friend love, if even that, because the specifics of emotions are a mess to unravel. (which also explains her confusion on her relationship with jake)
oh and right after this, she starts squawking just because she had the impulse to do so. vocal stimming, much?
Back to play rehearsal, My brain is like ‘bzzz’ My heart is like 'wow’
my brain is always like bzzz honestly lol. this is generally a pretty good way to describe being hyperfocused.
Because we’re here at play rehearsal, and it’s starting, We’re starting, It’s starting, Sooo-ooon.
it’s been confirmed as a deliberate decision that christine’s songs never end on a rhyme, except when she’s squipped and it isn’t ‘really’ her, because she subverts everyone’s expectations, including jeremy’s. i feel that could make for a nice simplified metaphor for autism, right?
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shattered-catalyst · 5 years
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So this  isnt for anything other than just to say what happened just so I feel heard and I can explain why I cant be as energetic and socially active on here. Its not a callout post or to be reblogged/shared by people. Its not to get anyone in trouble or to cause any reaction. It’s just for me to let it out and reclaim this space again. Its been a year since it happened and I guess I’m just still noticing how badly it has impacted my PTSD. How much its changed me as a person both online and off, and this isnt a woe as me thing either this is just me feeling a need to be heard and explain my own behavior over the year and also to make one simple request of you guys: no matter what you do, always treat your rp partners as people first and writers second.
Because I feel myself becoming bitter and that isnt who I am and I dont want to be someone like that. Or like this. I want to be me again
The person who did this wont be named mainly because they dont deserve it and yall dont need to know. Their behavior when I confronted them more than cements the impression that they dont see any harm in what they said and how they reacted. And again this isnt about them though In A Way I suppose it is? it takes two to tango but it takes one to encourage someone to kill themselves.
This is going to be long because I need to inform on the activity that lead up to this  because it didnt just happen over night- though in a way it did. But you need a better picture of this person because apparently they present a really great face that only a few of us see the manipulative and toxic side of.
This person was always very judgemental and hyper critical. I witnessed a lot of very negative and toxic behavior from them but I was naive and just hoped they would mature as they grew older and gained more independence. I thought it was just a toxic friend group and that perhaps she would recognize her self destructive and immature behavior and grow from it. 
My first red flag should have been when they accused me of being their ex girlfriend SOLELY because I was living in PA. I hate to break it to yall, but PA is a big ass state and has a lot of comic book loving ladies. Thankfully I have never met this person IRL and I hope I never do.
They tried to pull me into making fun of other muns on discord, including mocking sensitive pictures from a mun’s personal blog. I blatantly said it wasnt okay and made me uncomfortable and she continued laughing and making jokes about it with her friend group on discord. She kept trying to pull me into it no matter how often I tried to change the subject.
Her group of friends also did this thing where one of them would go interact with a mun an they would take screenshots of the convo and share it with the group and mock the mun they were interacting with. Whether it be their presentation of character/grahics/writing style/ etc.
The other red flags I ignored? How much she complained and mocked other muns and compared them to me; if anyone did anything or said anything she disagreed with it was an instant blow up. She took EVERYTHING personally including other people writing the same characters she did, having differing headcanons, not knowng obscure details about canon, etc.
She once tried to make fun of a new writing partner I had who was writing the same character, and I had to break it to her that this new person could write in her first language if she wanted to; im being very vague but let me just say if you and your character have the same first language and you want to write in it then its completely WRONG for a white mun to try and make fun of you for it.
She once suggested I had stolen pictures off her pinterest when she sent me a moodboard request for my character. Jokes on her I didnt even know she HAD a pinterest and I had gotten all my pictures from the ‘green aesthetic’ tag on tumblr. Which I told her but she kept pushing the idea on me I had stolen them. I of course dismissed this and put it on the back burner despite the alarm bells going off.
This hyper critical and paranoid behavior continues with everything from other canon blogs making similar head canons/ vaguely similar graphics/ to fanfiction authors having similar head canons/plot ideas.
My penname Citrus? I didnt want one. I didnt want it. She demanded I have a pen name and if not she was going to call me Cat. Now as yall know I dont like being enmeshed with my muse so I keep myself separate from them. I didnt like being called Cat and I told her that explicitly. She kept doing it. So I had to make a pen name because she refused to respect my boundaries.
When the Deadpool movie came out she DEMANDED I change my FC to reflect the movie Despite Not Changing Hers to reflect her own characters new look - which might i add is fat erasure. It was clear then that the rules and standards she held other people to didnt apply to herself. I was labeled problematic for not giving into her demands to change FCs (which I have a literal logical reason for not changing and im not explaining that here)
So I shouldve left. Long story short I didnt because every friendship I’d been in until around this time had been abusive and toxic. I thought this was all normal behavior for people to have and I was convinced I was just being critical of someone elses opinions/ insensitive etc. Thanks to my colleagues in graduate school and to several of you on here I learned that ‘hey dumbass friends dont treat your ass like this’.
Im leaving a lot out about the shit she did/said to me but those snippets give you an idea of things.
Leading up she decided to leave fandom and asked we didnt talk about marvel I said cool okay and didnt talk about marvel with her. If I did I would ask first if she was okay if we talked about one small aspect I thought might excite her/ she would like to know about but it wasnt often that happened because she began ghosting me. Hard. She stopped replying to me at all over discord when I would try and talk to her how we used to about our lives. She didnt answer any asks for munday or character development, in fact she blatantly ignored me.
I checked in a couple times with her to make sure I hadnt done anything to make her uncomfortable and she said no. May I emphasize she said no here. Im emphasizing it right now. She said no. She said everything was fine. So when I was like hey dude this is super triggering for me can you send me like a hi every once in awhile just so I can know we’re okay because its super triggering for me. Yall know what she did? She ‘lmao’-ed. she thought that was hecka funny. Yeah triggering ‘Citrus’ is hilarious isnt it? No it isnt and I shouldve cut her ass off right then and there.
Heres where shit gets confusing: she kept fucking talking about marvel to me. Id get messages at random times about marvel and then silence for weeks. I vividly remember during this period I was cleaning the museum vault and she kept messaging me about her marvel fc’s and how she wouldnt get a plotline and how characters were wrong etc.
I remember being REALLY confused because she had said NO MARVEL. But here she was bitching at me about marvel. In fact thats all she did when she did talk to me. Which was only like three or four times during the ghosting time period. She’d bitch about marvel and then vanish.
Shed make claims about not watching her dash and thats why she never responded to me/ interacted with me. She’d say she wasnt talkng to anyone while I see her on the dash TALKING TO PEOPLE and Id like to point out Ive told her I would be fine ending anything as long as she let me know.
but she followed me on every blog and throughout this time period she made and followed me on numerous ones. She kept reaching out sporadically to bitch about her fcs/how horrible marvel was/ and thats it. 
It was extremely confusing because if someone doesnt want to talk to me I assume they will; 1. unfollow 2. block 3. say goodbye 4. ghost and stay ghosted.
Not cycle through behavior rapidly. I asked her a few times if we were good and that I was confused and I got another ‘lmao’ reaction so I assumed we were good. At this point I still have no idea what was going on/ what message I was supposed to be receiving other than confusion.
So following this is heavily suicide tw and I encourage you not to read this part and to scroll down until the suicide tw is over which is highlighted in bold- if you’re triggered by that because I care about those who follow my blog.
So thats when this shit happened. I had tried reaching out to her on a different fandom platform to try and maintain the friendship. Because she said numerous times that we were friends. So like I reached out thinking maybe she just didnt want a marvel blog period.  It wasnt too long after that that she suicide baited me.
I was in a really bad place and had been for awhile and when I posted about how the only thing holding me on was the new comic coming out and specifically said “im seriously suicidal and this comic is the only thing giving me hope #idk what to do anymore ”. I was surprised when she liked the post.
I was three steps into a four step plan. I had everything but the method planned out and was just waffling along with that. Because yknow its complicated and you do it you make it count amiright. Right. I was in a fucked up place. I had just realized I was gay, I was horrendously depressed, I was in considerable physical pain, I was working 70 hours a week, my OCD was at an all time high and the only thing that kept me on this earth was a fucking comic book. You hold onto what you need to yknow?
WELL APPARENTLY NOT
Because this person who doesnt read her dash? This person who doesnt want to talk about anything? Liked that post where I specifically stated I was suicidal and sent me a discord message saying “dont have hope”.
Thats all it said “dont have hope”
Now I know what youre thinking but hold on because it gets worse.
I said something about being confused I dont really remember because I was pretty out of it. I do remember she kept going on about how horrible the comic would be and that it would be a piece of trash. I remember telling her I was really numb and in a bad place and couldnt feel anything. I remember her sending me screencaps and continuing to go ON AND ON about how it wasn’t worth reading.
I remember with gross intensity how someone who said they were my friend was taking away the only thing that was keeping me alive.
I dont remember how the conversation ends. I called out of work for the next three days. I was catatonically depressed and unable to really move. I didnt eat either. I went to internship, work, and school in a state of dissociation.
 I took screencaps of everything and set them aside for later. IDK what I was going to use them for but I set them in a folder on my desktop, looking back I regret what I did next; because I deleted them. I deleted them because I thought maybe she had been manic or drunk and hadn’t realized the scope of what was happening. I wanted to talk to her about it and clear things up because I believed in her. I believed there was no way she would be so callous as to do that on purpose. No way would someone try and get someone they called a friend to kill themselves. So I deleted the screencaps and my post on tumblr. I deleted all evidence to protect her and I encourage you all never to fucking do that even if you think that person misunderstood the gravity of your situation. Because if you’re wrong no ones going to believe you.
I remember shifting between intense depression and total denial.
I spent the rest of that month in and out of intense dissociative states when I wasnt in class or working with my clients.  During the middle of October my sister sent me pictures of a litter of puppies and I was like ‘well, i really need to either kill myself or make sure i dont’. I spent a few days continuing to waffle with that decision but then i remembered my mom cosigned my loans and I cant leave her with that debt because fuck we cant even afford my funeral to begin with. So I adopted a dog, I named him Julio to remind me to keep living and he finally came to me on halloween.
He was the only reason I left bed on my days off. I tried not to think about it but I did.  
I continued to spiral with heavier dissociative episodes and vivid nightmares about it.
SUICIDE TW OVER
I waited until Christmas to ask her to clarify the situation and let her know I no longer felt comfortable writing with her. I reminded her what happened and told her to check her discord if she wanted to see for herself etc.
She sent two long asks of combative, emotionally abusive, and gaslighting accusations. The first thing she did was say I needed to provide evidence if I went around making accusations like that. Then she cascaded into how I always talked about marvel *points up to where i explained what happened earlier*.  She tried gaslighting me like a champion and tried turning me into a horrible person the only problem is everything she was accusing me of doing was the shit she was doing to me. Everything. 
Even if I was bad at any time I had given her numerous chances to tell me I was overstepping a boundary- she always said no. I gave her numerous times to unfollow me if she wasnt interested in interacting with me- she never did. In fact I had unfollowed her that month because of her behavior towards me and she hadnt even noticed.
I let her know I could tell she was angry,  and that I didnt take receipts of private conversations because I believed in settling things like adults, and that if she ever wanted any proof it was all in her discord anyway. I let her know she could contact me to apologize but otherwise I didnt want her on any of my blogs and I told her the first thing she should have done wasnt demand receipts but she should have asked if I was okay. Its a real reflection of where her priorities were when she demands evidence rather than checks to see if a writing partner is okay.
Even if I did something horrible it doesnt warrant someone trying to get me to end my life. 
I was notified she put a post on her blog apologizing to her followers for being a bad friend and that she was a horrible person and ofc everyone was like ‘noooo youre perfect’ and its like ya thats not for me who hasnt followed her in months- thats to save face.
Her friends blogs kept visiting my profile and going through the month where this happened.
Everything she did and said was to save face. Her blog and her reputation are the only thing she cared about. She has never approached me to apologize or anything of the sort and I doubt she ever will. I would hope she would never do this again and I hope she has grown as a person since. That her life is better and her mother is okay, that shes happy and learning. 
 I know by posting this I will never receive an apology- then again i never expected one to begin with. I could go through all the trouble of restoring the deleted files but to be honest it isnt worth it because theres no room in my life for that type of toxicity.
Since this happened I:
I have stronger episodes of depression and dissociation since.
My PTSD has increased and I have week long spikes in anxiety attacks, depression and decreased self worth if I even see her around the rpc despite being blocked, blacklisted on xkit etc.
Have more difficulty completing basic self care tasks due to an increase in depression and a decrease in self worth.
I have nightmares about this event and her to this day a year later.
I cannot interact with the RPC how I once did as I fear seeing her on my dash or any sort of information getting back to her about me.
It took me half a year to see the character she wrote as as safe again and for awhile I couldnt even look at him without experiencing an anxiety attack.
I keep having nightmares. Its been a year and I still have nightmares about this.
I find myself having more difficulties connecting with people online especially on this blog. I’m constantly on edge when interacting with people and I feel spikes of anxiety at the merest thought of someone talking about me to her.
I find myself unable to have confidence as a writer or creator online because I have been reminder of the cement wall between oc characters and their canon counterparts.
I cannot go out and just follow anyone and be friendly and trusting with them anymore, even with people I already know. In the back of my mind is a constant reminder of how she and her friends used to check up on people and pretend to write with them/ interact with them just to take screenshots of conversations to share with the group. I have become a paranoid little bitch in the past year is what Im saying. like theres 0 need for that shit.
I blocked most of the people she interacted with simply to save myself from being triggered by her blogs/ mentions of her and that isnt fair to those people.
I remember the photo incident and how people derived such joy from mocking someones body. I can think of so many incidents of them making fun of others and I remember how that could be happening about me rn, and I wonder if anyone would stick up for me like I did for the other mun.
 I hope by posting this I can try and return to the person I was before this happened. I can try and not be so bitter and reach out again to others. That somehow I can continue working on making tumblr a safe place for me again and not a PTSD laced minefield.
I would like to remind this isnt a callout and I request if you know who this is about you dont say anything to them. This isnt for them. They have NEVER reached out to apologize for their actions. They have NEVER checked to see if I was okay after that. They have NEVER shown any remorse for encouraging me to kill myself and while I hope they’ve grown from the situation and will never do it again I doubt I will ever get closure from such an event. But i DO hope by writing this I can take this place back.
Consider this my first step towards bringing this up to a therapist.
 Consider this another step to me taking this blog back and feeling safer here; and maybe just maybe Ill make up a cool pen name for myself and own that shit.
If you’ve read this far thank you for your patience with me, and I request you always treat your writing partners like the people that they are. 
This post is not intended or written to leave this blog and therefore I request you not reblog it or share segments of it with ANYONE. If I find you have shared anything on here without my explicit permission I will block you.
‘Citrus’
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also can we talk about Lorelei for a hot second here
long Lorelei analysis post incoming (also i have a friend named that in real life so... hiiii this isn’t about you, promise <3)
listen,,, i’ve been on since the beginning that i don’t trust her yet and i think its pretty reasonable. we’ve got all these returning characters (seriously, like Axton, Gaige, Salvador, Krieg, Maya, Zer0, Lilith, Brick, Mordecai, Tina, LB, Gortys, Rhys, Vaughn, Fiona, Sasha, shit maybe even August or Cassius, Claptrap, Timothy, Aurelia, Hammerlock, Moxxi, Marcus, Tannis, Ellie, well you get the idea)
all these returning characters and they introduce a new one! and she’s the only new main character we know of so far outside of the twins and well the new VHs (who are very good for obvious reasons)
And ive seen it mentioned multiple times that Lorelei was “a beautiful siren who sat upon a rock in the Rhine River and lured sailors to shipwreck and death”. Well we know she’s not a in-game Siren (that we can see. her left arm is left uncovered, but she’s got no tattoos) and we know name meaning isn’t a great indication of allegiance in the borderlands series. I mean, we’ve got a Lilith... and she’s our new leader lmao
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so its entirely possible she could become a Siren during the events of the game. I’m worried about that because, so far, the only one we know who can take Sirens powers is Tyreen, so we can assume that means she’d be the one who can transfer them, as well. (for simplicity’s sake, i won’t talk about how i think troy is the output here lmao)
It could also be shown in-game how people can get Siren powers in the Borderlands universe, I know in one of the interviews it was stated we might learn more about that, though iirc they wanted to keep it a little bit of a mystery. I like that a lot tbh, mostly cause they seem to enjoy fan interpretations (notice me senpai goddamnit)
from the interview (i promise im getting to the full analysis lmao i am working thru a lot of old drafts):
“Are new Sirens created when old ones die?
Danny Homan: These are all great questions. You might find out some of that in this game. Who knows?
Can existing people become Sirens?
Danny Homan: Um, that’s an interesting question. I mean, there’s a lot of ways that someone can become a Siren. It’s not a de facto X-Men kind of thing. There’s some different conditions that kind of arise. Yeah, Sirens are unique and I feel like we like to keep it a little amorphous. What we like the most is when fans kind of create their own myths and stories about how this kind of stuff happens. As a writer we try not to definitively say one thing because there’s a lot possible.”
personally, i think his “um, that’s an interesting question” kinda confirms we will at the very least learn something about this. the best thing that could occur is that we get to see it happen!
sooo let’s theorize now!
Was Lorelei a Siren before the twins? well the timeline doesn’t really match up. In BL1 we have Angel, Steele, Lilith, Tyreen, Amara, and Maya all alive. If we’re going with the theory that Tyreen isn’t a natural Siren then it could be possible? Maybe they found a different way to steal Siren powers before Tyreen had powers, or Tyreen was gifted her powers from the red Vault and became the 7th Siren. 
I personally dunno about Lorelei being a Siren before the game begins, but it is possible! She’s got that hombre look a couple of the Sirens we know have (Amara and Lilith with their dyed tips- shit Maya’s hair is even darker at the ends) and her outfit seems to account for Siren tattoos with the exposed left arm. It could be possible that Tyreen took her powers and sent her to go work undercover with Atlas to get information on Vault (which we can’t get until we talk to Rhys) and/or weaken Atlas from the inside while they’re under attack by Maliwan. I think I mentioned back when she was first revealed that she was the mysterious woman on the MoM. She’s not shown to have wings, so I don’t think she’s a Siren before the events of the game, unless she is that little girl we see to the right of Troy (which I hard doubt because the girl has gauges and Lorelei seems to just have regular-ass earrings. Personally, I think the little girl is an Angel-type situation whose powers either have some use to the cult (eg future-sight, brain-washing) or she had her powers stolen by Tyreen already (and maybe became Little Blue? I like the theory that Little Blue betrays us and becomes her, though. we’re too trusting of little kids in these games. I’m looking at you, Pickle))
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Is Lorelei a Siren now? iiii dunno about that. Again with the timeline and the whole “Tyreen may not be a natural Siren” shebang. But, also, she doesn’t have the tattoos. Maybe her powers have something to do with deception or illusions? but I don’t get why she’d hide her tattoos if she’s on our side. If she’s on the Calypso’s side, then why send a Siren out to work for Atlas? Again, she could be used to weaken the inside of Atlas/get information, but you could send literally anybody with half a brain instead of one of the most powerful beings in the universe. 
Will Lorelei become a Siren? it’s possible. i think this is the most likely thing that could happen. her outfit design would 100% allow the tattoos to show up without sacrificing anything. 
How does she become a Siren? well... I dunno lmao, there are so many possibilities.
She could be working with the Calypsos and gets her powers through Tyreen
She could be gifted powers by some Eridians/a Vault/weird alien bullshit
She could be the next one chosen (?) to take on Lilith’s/Maya’s/Tyreen’s powers after they die. 
She could be the one to get the powers after Tyreen gives up the ones she’s collected (be it through death, willingness to do so, or otherwise) and one of the people they were meant to return to is dead... so it just goes to Lorelei (?)... maybe its a proximity thing. like Fruits and Devil Fruit powers. iunno
i got no concrete ideas and idk if I know enough about her character to say affirmatively what’s gonna happen
tbh i doubt she will actually betray us/work with the calypsos and then either NOT rejoin our side or straight-up get killed, mostly because she’s a side-quest giver and i don’t think gearbox would lock away all those quests by killing her off. i mean, roland had no direct side-quests in bl2 so i don’t think they’d be dicks and make it so you can never complete her side quests in that playthrough by killing her off or making her join the other team without reversing that decision by the end of the campaign. 
still don’t trust her yet tho
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karmanticmoved · 5 years
Note
1-85 uwu
j esus okay
1. describe yourself.
uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch
2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?
idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.
3. do you have siblings?
the one thats still alive is my half brother
4. what is your favorite constellation, why?
orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio
5. favorite color.
yellow, pink, or blue.
6. what kind of music do you listen to?
almost anything. whatever catches my interest.
7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)
forgot what i said last time but those
yellow carnations i think?
8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?
maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk
9. favorite childhood memory.
my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.
10. have you ever been cheated on?
i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.
11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?
big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.
12. favorite animal.
river otter
13. what was the last photo you took of?
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cat
14. do you believe in soul mates?
i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns
15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?
over is the one thats socially acceptable right
16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.
idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.
17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?
no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.
18. guilty pressures?
im assuming thats meant to be pleasures
umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,
19. favorite mythical creature, why?
merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t
20. something most people don’t know about you.
i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.
not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth
21. where did you grow up, what was it like?
grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.
22. do you believe aliens exist?
sure.
23. what was your last google search?
other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things
24. what did your last relationship teach you?
the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.
25. would you relocate for love?
honestly yeah
26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?
both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.
27. favorite book.
favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta
favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.
28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?
introvert by far
29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?
i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts
30. top 5 favorite movies.
in no particular order
little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched
31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
no
32. what is your greatest fear?
definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy
33. favorite alcoholic beverage.
im baby
34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.
im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing
35. do you believe in ghosts?
not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in
36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?
idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!
37. should you split the dinner bill?
i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.
38. are you a good liar?
most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so
39. what keeps you up at night?
depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.
40. would you rather go without your phone or music?
music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends
41. do you believe in god?
what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.
no. i don't.
42. how do you relax when frustrated?
cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper
43. what’s something that offends you?
when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway
44. favorite food
i hate myself whenever i eat food
45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?
@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee
46. when do you feel the most confident?
never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.
47. what do you do in your free time?
sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.
48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect
matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.
49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.
50. did/do you play sports in school?
i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.
51. when are you happiest?
talkin 2 jay prolly
52. coffee or tea?
tea
53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?
my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7
54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?
their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me
55. what is your favorite season, why?
fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.
56. what makes you laugh?
stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn
57. are you a clean or messy person?
a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.
58. what is important for a successful relationship?
communication communication communicati
talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.
59. what was your upcoming like?
if thats supposed to be upbringing
idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.
60. favorite holiday?
any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.
61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?
give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket
62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?
hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty
63. favorite outdoor activity.
frisbee
64. how are you? honestly.
not great. i want highschool to end.
65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?
idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that
66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?
waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.
67. favorite type of candy?
none
68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?
i can and will do arson, an autobiography
69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?
i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly
70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?
silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected
71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?
im mostly the one having the weird conversations
72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?
i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit
73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?
when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides
74. what do you like to cook?
whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot
75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?
really pretty tropical fish
76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?
idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing
77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?
heart at first but my head if things get bad
78. what is your favorite quote?
"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"
or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.
this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood
79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?
once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao
80. what’s your love language?
sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.
81. do you ever feel alone?
oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks
82. ever been bullied?
yeah
83. are you usually early or late?
late bc of my parents rip
84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?
drawing, or writing. also theater.
85. what do you wish you knew more about?
i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.
id like to know more about forensics tho
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Text
god i had the worst fucking rheumatologist doctors appointment today.
for those who dont know, ive been dealing with this chronic illness for literally 10 fucking years. im 24, which means im young, and im a woman which means i face a lot of weird ageist, sexist shit. 
ive seen good doctors, and ive seen a lot of bad ones. ive been to i dont know... 10 different kinds of medical specialists, a couple of the same kind of specialist, multiple kinds of chiro’s, physios, dietician, acupuncturists, naturopaths, osteos etc., pain clinics etc, so i have been AROUND. 
i saw this fucking guy today, who took one look at me, saw i was a young woman and immediately, started to try spin a ‘this is a psychological problem’ rhetoric. this is not the first time this has happened to me. it might be the third noticeable time. 
he starts with ‘how can i help?’ and i say ‘well i guess all my problems started when i was about 14..’ and he interupts me and says ‘well what happened when you were 14?’ and im like ... ‘well, i guess thats when my body started hurting’, and hes like no.. what happened to you? like this guy wanted to pin my pain on some assumed trauma that had happened to me around that time since thats when my pain began. THIS IS THE FIRST PART OF THE CONVERSATION. idk what you want me to say, ive had no trauma. i wasn’t assaulted, my parents are still together etc. like ??? 
He is literally being so condescending at this part too, as if i have no idea or no clue about anything. I was losing my confidence in what i was saying so i wasnt being articulate as he kept shutting everything down.
hes asking me questions like a psychologist does (IVE BEEN TO PSYCHOLOGISTS BEFORE because old shit doctors did no investigating and just assumed i was mentally ill); hows your hygiene, do you brush your teeth, do you get dressed, what do you do in your spare time, whats your appetite etc. 
and im like ... ive been depressed... im not depressed. yes i am on antidepressants to which he goes, SO you ARE being treated for depression as if he has just uncovered a hole in my story. 
 and im so frustrated by this point because LIKE HIM the doctors i first saw just popped me on antidepressants because they didnt believe my symptoms and just assumed my pain was because i was depressed. i became depressed about 5 years after my symptoms started, BECAUSE I WAS IN PAIN and i had to mourn my old life. im now on antidepressants because im in pain all the time. the PAIN CAUSED DEPRESSION, not the other way around. regardless, my depression is TREATED, i dont have depression. 
despite me having inflammation and other autoimmune markers be high or positive, he completely neglects to even humour that my pain, fatigue and rashes etc. are caused by anything but psychological problems. hes also the FIRST doctor who said i dont get a malar rash but its clearly rosacea (i didnt have a rash that day so idk where he got that info from).
he goes to the extent to tell me theres no autoimmune problem and therefore to get off plaquinal and gabapentin (2 meds that have helped me quite a lot) because he didnt think i needed to be on them. i was prescribed these meds by a rheum who saw me over the time span of 2-3 years. he told me that these meds were causing my problems....
and now, just increase exercise... THATS RIGHT?!?!? IVE NEVER HEARD OF EXERCISE BEFORE!! YOURE A GENIUS. you dont think i havent fucking tried that in the 10 years ive had symptoms? if i could exercise, i would. 
i got visibly upset cause  he was invalidating everything, not believing anything i was saying, almost laughing at stuff that i was showing him and saying. he was so rude and arrogant and condescending. I didn’t want to cry (i did) because i felt like it was supporting all his preconceived conclusions he had already drawn about me; that i am a dramatic, hypochondriac woman whose emotions are causing pain. 
i then went on to check reviews about him online and BOY i wish i had done that before i wasted money on this jerk. He had the LOWEST reviews of all 30 doctors that were reviewed on this site. all but 1 of the reviews literally described by experience to a T. these were some of them;
he was “arrogant and condesending, was so rude and made me feel like I was making up symptoms. walkedout of the surgery very upset.”
“I found him arrogant with a huge god complex. There is a reason why people don't go back and see him. I get the feeling he doesn't enjoy being a doctor. Stay away from him“
“Not nice. Unless you look fit and healthy he will ignore your fybromyalgia and just say it's only because your fat regardless of the fact that the medication you are taking made you that way”
I then also looked up articles written by him and ALL his shit is about psychological aspects of pain. so, he’s already viewing people through that lens. 
The only upside is now i know that i should always research the specialist before hand
so discouraged, so over it. 
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corvusclassified · 5 years
Text
corbin valentines date adventures continue
featuring @sorcieresque and @soaprulez
corvusdoofus hey u wanna go to the dance together? doesnt have to be like a date-date but it was fun hanging out with you at the dream dance so
sorcieresque So you don't /want/ it to be a date?
corvusdoofus i was assuming U wouldnt want it to be a date since youre like, only shrodongers into guys but i guess if u wanted it 2 be a date it could
sorcieresque Oh, Mr. Doofus, oh. What a gracious offer. My heart is deliquescing with the chance I've been given... My soul is soaring with the possibility of agency. There is nothing quite as hot as unabashed tepidness.
corvusdoofus okaaaaay i get it its not the most romantic way to ask someone to a dance lol i just thought itd be fun to go together
sorcieresque Thank you. I already have a date, but we shan't let that stop us from causing chaos and mischief. >:)
corvusdoofus lol cool hope u have fun w/ ur date and i guess ill see u there!
sorcieresque Save me a dance.
corvusdoofus u got it
soaprulez hey uhhhhhhhhhhh idk if ur going with anyone else already but WOULD U WANT TO GO DO THE DANCE JUST AS FRIENDS
sorry if this is stupid and weird LOL you probably already have a date i just dk who to ask
everyone i talk to is like way older than me i dont talk 2 anyone in my grade for some reason i dont think they like me SRRY IM NOT TRYING TO GUILT TRIP U THAT SOUNDED WEIRD U CAN TOTALLY SAY NO ITS OK augh im fucking this up lmfaoooooooooo
corvusdoofus lool dont worry about it yeah we can go 2gether!!!! itd suck that u dont get to go just cause the other people in your grade are dicks
soaprulez omg cool itll be so much fun i promise! i dont think theyre dicks so much theyr just dont really talk to me idk lol ive never really hung out with friends my own age i always fucked around with the older kids
NOT 2 SOUND LIKE '''OOHHHH IM 2 COOL  2 HANG OUT IWTH OTHER TEENS' or whatever IDK it sjust the older kids r like nicer to me idk why
corvusdoofus i cant say why for like, ur past friends, but i think the kids ur age at wsc have all been here for AGES and all know each other real well so they probs dont want to hang w/ a new kid they dont know well
soaprulez thats fair i.g. i guess theres probably like. kids with monstery parents who like KNOW theyre monsters tha whole time and get 2 grow up here? seems prettyyyy cool. i always moved around a bunch so i never got to stick with 1 group of people long enough to be super tite u get the best of EVERYTHING tho u just get to come and go like whenver that rocks
corvusdoofus yeah apart from when the school didnt let me LEAVE during xmas break and anyways i think being in one place too long makes u stuck up just look at my sis and her friends
soaprulez hahahahaha lol i guess they have 2 have SOME ruels here seems weird that thats where they draw the line though
oooo tru ur sister spooky af
ANYWAY i am xcited! thanks for agreeing 2 go with me instead of a date ... if theres anyone else u want to like get close w/ while were there tho i can like skulk off at the actual dance
corvusdoofus loool thanks but i dont think thats gonna happen
soaprulez oohhhhhh :( ruff day?
corvusdoofus i guess???? theres just not really anyone im really clicking with romantic-ways u know?
soaprulez o boy yeah i do know
corvusdoofus like daisy did say 2 save a dance for her. but also, shes daisy, so thats probably just a plot for wild hijinks
soaprulez sometimes i like get stupid dumb crushes on people but then i think about ACTUALLY dating them and its like i legiterally cant even picture it bcus im like. IDK i dont feel like a real person half the time im like a mascot god daisy is so cool i cant believe she even talks 2 me like shes kinda craaazzyy but its like cool
corvusdoofus lol shes mad wild and like maybe a lil evil idk but shes funny but like weird funny u gotta realize most of what she says is jokes
soaprulez IDKKKK like maybe a little evil but like ok ok ok ok if u have ever been in the foster system youll kno theres some FUCCCKED UP PEOPLE out tehre like i never had 2 live with any but ive heard some shit so daisys like weird mean pranks and blood rituals or w/e are just like . . . whatever i cant tell whats jokes and whats serious or not but i figure if i just go along w/ everything itll at leat be funny
corvusdoofus yeah thats probably right
soaprulez lol anyway c u there i guess!!!
corvusdoofus yeah! tho are u gonna do smash w/ me and hymie 2nite?
soaprulez OH SHIT i didnt see him ask i am SO down
corvusdoofus check ur texts dude!
soaprulez shiiit i completely missed that with all ths v day stuff on the brain hell yeah im in
corvusdoofus see u there
soaprulez yeah!!! l8rzz
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