Are their other villain mutants that were captured by the EPF?
the only mutants from the show that wont show up in the facility are; that goat guy clem, bullhop, fish guy, the dig band, corpse flower guy, piebald (<- she just straight up doesn't exist in residuum actually), and scor-pion
everyone else is either already there, or will be at some point in the future
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The thing is, Crowley never says he doesn't want to be an angel again.
When Aziraphale is getting really excited about the prospect of restoring Crowley to full angelic status--"we're having a ball," "perhaps you can tell me while we dance" levels of excited--Crowley isn't over there saying, "How dare you," or "I don't want to be an angel again," or "You don't know me at all," which are all reactions we'd expect... If that's the way he felt.
What he says is, "Heaven is toxic."
Because being an angel again isn't what's holding him back. All Crowley's said for years is, I go along with Hell as far as I can, and I didn't mean to fall, I sauntered vaguely downwards, I was bored at lunch one day, I only ever asked questions, I'm unforgivable. That's all he's said, and that's all Aziraphale has heard, words of regret. And maybe they even talked about it. Maybe they even talked about the parts of Heaven that Crowley misses, in a perfect universe, maybe we could have still been angels together, doing good, isn't it a nice thing to dream, isn't it a nice fantasy?
But the thing that Crowley knows that Aziraphale doesn’t is that this particular fantasy can't come true. You can't make it a reality. But Aziraphale, see, that's where he lives, in the fantasy. Like the cotillion ball, right? He manipulates the humans and ignores the danger to play out his fantasy, and Crowley can only see it going that way in Heaven too: Aziraphale turning a blind eye in favor of delusional happiness while Crowley trails behind him, terrified, hissing that there's danger lurking all around.
Because there is danger in Heaven. Crowley knows. All the demons do.
Sure, it would be nice. Everything safe, everyone safe and restored to who they were before the Fall, doing good as angels are meant to do, without hiding, without trauma, without being afraid. It's a nice fantasy, but it will never happen. Not in Heaven, anyway. Because Heaven is toxic, Crowley has learned that the hard way, and it's a knowledge you can't unlearn with a simple status change.
He doesn't want to unlearn it, anyway. The serpent of Eden is the last person who will choose "ignorance is bliss" over truth.
So I don't think we should fault Aziraphale for wanting Crowley to be an angel with him. For dreaming about the fantasy. Crowley himself has probably even dreamed it.
If Aziraphale has any fault, it's believing that Heaven is the place that can make that fantasy can come true.
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You know what I'm thinking about today?Season 3 episode 3. SPECIFICALLY the part where the pedo teacher says "If love can be called a mistake" while looking directly at Mickey and Mickey gives a side eye to Ian, clearly uncomfortable. And then he IMMEDIATELY hates himself for thinking that he is in love with Ian, another man, or even considering it as a possibility, so he overcompensates by trying to look Super Straight™ and fucking Angie. Dude. He was so abused and brainwashed by Terry that he had to dismiss the thought that he had feelings for Ian by screwing the first random chick he saw. Like that took anything away. He was fucking terrified. HE DIDN'T FEEL SAFE EVEN WITH HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN HIS OWN HEAD
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Bernard Has A Stalker
She's called Kitty and she wants her boyfriend back. Now, Tim just wishes that Bernard Dowd, an unfairly pretty guy who apparently had been a bicker ghost in another life, would stop pinning after him, before his not-girlfriend kills him out of jealousy.
Featuring: A very jealous, probably yandere, Kitty and a smitten Bernard Dowd.
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‘What if desmond time travels and has to deal with such and such, or turns into an animal, or gets hurt, or-’
What if Desmond time travels and learns how to bake bread!! Huh!!? What about that!! What if he opens a super successful bakery, and solves all the worlds problems with the best fresh baked bread every!!
(This is /j but like. 👏🏻 anons let Desmond have peace challenge👏🏻 (but also don’t cause I love reading all of them I’m just like ‘how did you even come up with this? Sometimes lmao))
Anyway, since we already have a Desmond is a baker in Renaissance Italy idea, here’s Desmond is a baker during the Third Crusades instead:
So in this setup, Desmond would say fuck it and just open a bakery in Acre.
Jerusalem was too much of a hotspot at the moment and Acre had ports which meant there would be new customers that Desmond could lure in with the smell of freshly baked bread.
And it worked.
Maybe a bit too well because…
Kadar visited while he was out looking for information for his brother’s current target.
They both stared at one another for a moment and then Desmond just did his usual ‘Welcome! Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to hear today’s recommendations?’ spiel while Kadar just stares at him.
When Kadar went “Altaïr?”, Desmond just gave him his best bartender ‘I’m being respectful but also distant so you’ll still tip me’ smile as he goes, “I’m sorry, we don’t have a bread called ‘Altaïr’.”
Then he showed Kadar the star-shaped pull apart sweet bread he’s just perfected and go “But maybe I can interest you in this pull apart start bread? It’s sweet and fluffy and freshly baked.”
And sweet poor Kadar leaves the bakery with a basket of breads instead because Desmond was good at using both Ezio’s charms and his bartending social skills to get customers to buy more than they should.
Hey.
A man needed to profit to keep the roof over his head while trying to experiment for the upcoming debut of his sugar-free pastries.
The next day, Malik entered the bakery but Desmond was ready.
Desmond had planned for this!
“Welcome!” Desmond greeted, giving Malik his sweetest smile that he knew would completely unnerve Malik.
Desmond weaponized the similarity between him and Altaïr to unnerve Malik to the point that he cannot focus on observing Desmond, distracted by such a sweet smile that looked so disturbing in his eyes because he’s imagining Altaïr doing such an expression and it was horror beyond Malik’s wildest imagination.
Okay.
Desmond was exaggerating but that got Malik to not ask too many invasive questions and leave the bakery after purchasing two baskets worth of bread so Desmond was going to consider that a mission successful.
And then…
His greatest adversary entered his little quaint bakery.
And Desmond was ready for him.
“Welcome!” Desmond greeted happily, “Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to see today’s recommendations?”
Altaïr simply stared at him.
But that didn’t matter.
Desmond held all the cards.
Because he knew one of Altaïr’s greatest weakness…
Altaïr secretly loved sweets.
“Today’s a special day!” Desmond clapped his hands in practiced joy that wasn’t over the top, “Today’s the debut of our dessert line! Here.”
Desmond took out a tray of sweet deserts, glistening in either honey or fruit jams.
“Would you like a taste?” Desmond asked with the sweetness of the snake that tempted Eve to take a bite.
And Altaïr…
Altaïr left the bakery with a basket filled with desserts and pastries, quietly sinking into the shadows before anyone could see him and ask for one of the forbidden sweets he had acquired.
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