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harunade · 10 months

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can i request something like a heated fight / miscommunication / jealous / whatever taerae but then he makes it up to you with gentle soft sex showing you how much he loves you and all… not a native english speaker so sorry if it’s not understable HAHA but angsty loving taerae has been on my mind sm lately <3

also !! would u write for junhyeon if someone requested?^^ love your writing hehe

yes id love to write for him and also tiot / evnne !!

sorry . kim taerae

pairing: bf!taerae x f!reader

warnings: smut , they fight, soft sex, piv, oral f recieving, making out, not proofread!

“What the fuck is your problem actually?” you screamed at Taerae. You guys never really fought but this time you were both in bad moods and something just snapped. On a normal day you would’ve solved this little argument immediately but on this particularly one it ended up with screams and stuff thrown on the ground.

“Can you shut up for once? Leave me the fuck alone.” Taerae yelled back at you before you stormed out of the room. Since the two of you shared an apartment, you had no choice but to sleep on the couch. He could have all your guys’ bed to himself and even fall off it for all you cared. But as you laying on your side hugging a duck shaped plushie he had won in the arcade for you, with the tv long forgotten in the back, you started to regret your actions. Maybe if you acted calmer he would’ve too.

Taerae must’ve had the same thought as you since you ended up with him sitting down next to you. You jumped at the sudden presence but quickly calmer down when you felt his hand caressing your leg. “What is it?” you peeked through the blanket. You noticed that he was wearing his red sweat pants that would normally make you laugh but this was too serious of a situation. “I’m sorry for yelling at you and telling you to leave me alone. I actually don’t want you to” he told you while looking down. His voice sounded broken as if he had been also crying. “It’s okay, Tae. I’m sorry too-“ you were laying on your side on the couch but ended up with Taerae on top of you.

“I’m really sorry, pretty. Let me show you-“ he leaned down and places a kiss on your cheek, then the other one, then your forehead. You had been crying a bit earlier so it was possible for him to have tasted your tears. Finally, he pressed his lips to yours. You hadn’t realised how much you had been aching for it as you instinctively cupped his face and pushed your lips harder into his.

One of his hands threw the blanket off of you and started going up inside of your shirt. The feeling of his cold hand made you gasp and Taerae took it as the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Shortly after, his kisses moved down to your neck and collarbones. “am so sorry, baby- love you so, so much” he’d breathe out in between kisses and nibbled on your soft skin. “Let me take these off you, doll?” he asked making reference to his shirt you were wearing and your panties. “Yes, please… need you so bad”

Said and done, your clothes as well as his were on the floor and Taerae was kissing down you stomach. Lifting one of your legs to his shoulder, he leaned his head and licked a strip of arousal off your cunt. You moaned loudly and gripped at his hair probably harder than intended. “you’re so sweet, baby.. could eat your pussy forever, but not tonight” he pressed a few kisses to your inner thighs before lifting himself up.

If you looked down, you could see his erection standing tall and begging to be touched. “Will you take me, love?” he asked you as he pressed a few short pecks to the corners of your mouth. Your hands gripped his shoulder as your legs wrapped around his waist. “Yes, baby. i love you so much and i’m also sorr-“ he pressed another kiss to your lips to shush you. “It’s okay. i’ve already forgiven you. just want to show you how much i love you and how much you mean to me, my sweet girl” he looked at you with glossy eyes.

Taking his dick into his hand, he ran it up and down your wet cunt, collecting slick and slowly pushing in. He made sure to intertwine your fingers. When he finally bottomed out, he made sure to pull away and slam a little harder into you. “fuck.. tae..” you moaned out as he was slowly thrusting into you. You pulled him by the neck into another kiss. this one was more of a messy and heated one, as you swirled your tongues around and definitely had some saliva dripping down of your mouths.

“Are you close, princess?” he looked down at you while his thumb circled your clit. by the way you were trembling, you were, and he knew that too. “aww you’ve already gone stupid.. it’s okay, my sweet baby, i’ll take care of you” Taerae pushed away the hair that had stuck on your forehead. It didn’t take you long to cum, squeezing uncontrollably around your boyfriend’s dick. This made him let go as well, filling your womb while a loud moan left his mouth.

Taerae collapsed on top of you, but still made sure to pick up the blanket from the floor and cover the two of you. “Are we good?” he mumbled from the crook of your neck while you hands were either around his waist or in his hair. “Of course, my dear” you turned your head and started pressing kisses everywhere on his face, just like he had previously done with you. He smiled into the kiss when your lips finally met.

#harunade #zb1 hard hours #zb1 x reader #zb1 hard thoughts #kim taerae smut #taerae smut #taerae x reader

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hyunverse · 1 year

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hehehehe ur cute. i’m so happy to hear ur day was good :)). i cry at movies too 😔. this is so embarrassing but i legit cried at the end of the sonic movie like the 2020 one … IT WAS JUST A SOFT ENDING OKAY 😔😔😔. I COULDNT HELP IT 😔😔. SAME grocery shopping is smth i always look forward to. i swear the cereal section is the best bc it’s just so bright. like everything else has such bland packaging and then the cereal section is just boom color and happy characters and cute logos like it’s just the best. THEY HAD MY FAVE PASTRYY it’s called spanakopita and it’s soooo yum. it’s a spinach and ricotta blend in this rly flakey pastry it’s so so so good. same i love them all sm. andddd let’s just say the dogs here are definitely city dogs so they’re a lot more immune ….? to odd things …? and to doing odd things ???? and their owners just aren’t even phased it’s so strange 😭

LMFAO ITS TRUE THEYRE LIKE DORITOS 😭😭 yep ik exactly what ur talking about and it’s perfffff. nothing better than some nice collarbones too. they look so delicate and kissable gahhhh. hyunjins make me dizzy. sooooo delicate and longgggg he’s so <333333333. victor 100% unreachable visual who is the blueprint. howl pendragon can come into my life and ruin it rn now pls. talk about perfect man ?? like yes bring him here pls 🙏🏼. LIKE AN ERASER 😭😭 UR LITERALLY RIGHT BC WHY R THEY SO HUGE ?? i love it tho hehe

ohhhh okay yes that makes sense, that’s so cool to think of. all the fast food in america sucks tbh 💔. i’d much rather mcdonalds from another country than whatever we have. every fast food thing here is just … boring. and expensive now so you’re better off just going somewhere else yk ? agreed i don’t customize my orders ever, but i do like to add cold foam to my coffee hehe. it’s just so rich and creamy and delish. and the machines are always “broken” bc they just don’t want to clean it 😭. they’re a pain to clean so i understand but if i want a mcflurry, i want a mcflurry 😠. andddd now i’m craving pandan leaf chicken as well <///3 so smokey and delish grrrr i love food

HYUNJIN DOES FLIRT THROUGH DANCING OMFG. he’s so perfect i actually get frustrated. like i don’t understand how someone can have that many ideal qualities and just exist. how does he live w himself knowing he is the IDEAL MAN ?? IDEK WHAT ID DO W MYSELF. FELIX IS DEFFF ACTING UP. but seeing this confidence on him is so attractive 🤭🤭🤭. i feel like that’s another thing that makes hyunes dancing so attractive bc you can tell he’s so content while doing it and how all of his moves are so articulated GAHHH i could watch him dance all day. imagine dating him and just being able to watch him practice ?? him winking at you in the mirror every now and then ohhhhh i’d pass out

i hope ur sleeping well my pretty 💗💗 kisses 4 uuuuu

- 🐈‍⬛

sonic movie??? ive never heard of anyone crying over the sonic movie T_T then again i cant judge because ive never watched it. dw bae, i cry over soft endings too. we have issues and its ok!! tbh i cry over fluff more than i cry over angst. it's just that i get so overwhelmed by the love, that it makes me sob yk? i sound insane, dont i </3 whats ur fave cereal? i love the milo crunch cereal, tastes like milo but make it cereal!!! and i googled spanakopita and omg. . .it looks mouth-watering. gonna attempt to find a place which sells them here. talking abt pastries, 'm going to a cafe with my mum tmr for breakfast, so im looking forward to that!!

anything abt hyunjin makes me dizzy tbh. the recent dancing vids of hyune 😵‍💫 hes out to get me fr fr. management pls make him stop body rolling on stage bcs it makes me sick!! (pls dont i love it when he does) HOWL IS SO PERFFFFFFF. THE MAN! i could talk about the plot of howl's moving castle for hours. i love the plot twist, how howl has been searching for sophie for years. thats true love right there! also jeongin hand pics has been all over my fyp come save me!! save me from this monstrosity.

the american slander 😭cmere bae i'll take u to a mcdonalds 🙏i'll give you all the mcflurrys you want. its always available here <333 now im craving for an oreo mcflurry omg... and pandan leaf chicken zzz

STOP FEEDING INTO MY DELUSIONS, MY LOVE. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SUCH THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD? i want hyunjin to give me a private show (not in an nsfw way i swear) he looks so enchanting on stage, i'd love to sit in front of him, alone with him and just watch him dance. he puts so much thought and emotion in his movements, it's amazing how he could do that all while ensuring every move is precise. making it all look easy is also one thing. oh the winks would be the death of me. i feel like he'd cling on u right after too <333 will ask for lil reward kisses after practise <3 did u see the vid of felix lifting his shirt up to make people scream for muddy water? hes in his hot guy and he knows it era. love it for him 🙏

also, today, seungmin and felix went live. i got to watch it and it was so chaotic T_T it was them attempting to make candy but failing at doing so </3 i mean what did we expect from them tbh.

hope ur day is going well, sweet darling. thousand of kisses for u <333!!

#rin's lovemail!#🐈‍⬛ anon 💌

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xsarcasticwriterx · 3 years

Text

My Boy-part 1

Summary: you need money, tony stark has plenty, all he needs is someone in his life even if he pays for it

Pairing: Tony stark x reader

warnings: Swearing, smut, Sugar daddy tony

Notes: i got this idea from the song sugar daddy by qveen herby and then other stories of characters i like as sugar daddies bUt i hadn't seen one for tony sO here we are. honestly just wanted a reason to write a smutty story pfft

my boy masterlist

You sat on your front porch looking down at the “rent due: last warning” flyer in your hand. you groaned before face palming. “you ok there doll?” your neighbor asked. he was usually outside at this time working on his cars or some random things.you'd be lying if you said you didn't have a crush on him but hes a billionaire, hell hes THE tony stark. The genius,billionaire, playboy,philanthropist who was only staying in this house when he wanted to not because he had to no he had another place two as a matter of fact. That's not even counting the avengers headquarters.

“great” you said with a fake smile and a thumbs up. “mhm doll i can tell when your lying” he said with a small smile and walked over to you. your breath hitched. you didn't need the hottest guy you knew to know you had money problems. he sat next to you “what's up?” he asked. you shifted from side to side.

he saw the flyer and snatched it from your hands. you cleared your throat and looked around anywhere but at him. “ah i see” he said you shook your head “no you dont” you replied. he chuckled “no i don't but i want to help you” he said handing you back the paper. you took it putting it to your side “i don't want a hand out” you grumbled and tony smiled and shook his head “no dear it's not a hand out” he said “i couldn't pay you back” you said and tony wrapped his arm around your shoulder and leaned in “darling i don't want money” he said kissing your earlobe.

your breath hitched and you instinctively moved your head to the side to give him more room. he gave a small laugh against you neck leaving a small peck before pulling back but keeping his arm around you. “i belive you know the term sugar daddy?” he said tilting his head towards you. you slowly looked at him and nodded not trusting your voice. he smiled and nudged your jaw with his nose “let me be your i dont want anything from you that your uncomfortable with i just ask you spend time with me and let me help you out” he said against your jaw before leaving small kisses. “are you ok with this” he asked stopping the small touch. “yes” you whimpered out. he smiled and kept the small kisses going.

“so what do you say darling?” he asked moving behind you and started kissing your neck. you sighed leaning back into him. “ok” you whispered out. he smiled against your neck lightly biting a spot making you whimper before he lciked over it “great so let me pay for this” he said tapping on the paper. you nodded “ok” you said. you shifted feeling the wetness in your underwear. tony laugh before kissing your cheek and standing up. “i’ll get you the money tonight dear oh and dress up for me will ya doll” he said with a wink before going back to his house. you groaned laying back onto the porch.

what just happened? you just accepted to be tony stark's sugar baby. how the fuck. you felt like you had blacked out. you stood up your legs wobbly and started back in before you heard your name called. turning to your neighbors you saw tony outside again “ that little problem there” he said pointing to your pants “leave it” he said winking at you and walking back inside.

you were left speechless before sighing and walking back inside. your thigh kept squeezing together as you sat on the couch trying to just watch tv till night but the memory of his lips and touch lingering. you groaned your head leaning back. you groaned and stood up walking up to your room opening your closet. you put in music.

You didn't have many nice things but you walked to your dresser and opening it. stripping yourself of your clothes you put on a lace bra and underwear feeling nice in it. you danced around singing loud “ooooooh Your sex is on fire” you sung smiling and twirling. you heard the doorbell ring and turned off the music quickly putting on the one dress you had which was a black lace dress. you quickly fixed up your hair before running downstair and opening the door “hi” you said with a smile he smiled back and looked you over “had fun doll?” he asked. you giggled “you heard the music?” you asked. he nodded “think the whole neighborhood did” he said. you smiled and opened up the door and he walked in.

he looked you over again and you smiled looking at the floor. tony laughed before walking around looking over the house. “this is a nice place” he said. you cleared your throat before speaking “yea it works for just me” you said walking to your kitchen and grabbing a bottle of scotch pouring some for you both. “scotch?” you asked holding the glass out to him. he smiled and took it “rarely meet a women who likes scotch” he says drinking. you laugh “well could use some liquid courage” you reply.

he looks out into your yard “you have a pool” he point out. you nod “yea kinda crazy i got this place for so cheap ya know until it no longer seemed cheep” you said messing with the glass. “yes about that” he says putting the glass onto the coffee table and reaching into his pocket he pulled out a large wad of cash putting it onto the table. your eyes opened wide. tony laughed and walked back to you holding your face “i wasn't lying” he said rubbing his nose against yours and kissed your forehead.

“let's go for a swim” he said “ok let me get changed” you said starting to turn away before tony grabbed your wrist “no now” he said turning you back around. “huh?” you asked. “come on” he said opening the door. “but i don't have a suit under this. you don't have a suit” you said. tony smiled and winked “who says we need suits” he whispered to you and pulled you out.

you watched as he stripped his shirt and you shifted. his muscles prominent and his arms were large. you cleared your throating inhaling largely. he turned to you and motioned you to strip, you rubbed the back of your neck and tony walked towards you. his pants were unbuttoned hanging on his hips open you could see his underwear through and his breathing was deep and slow.

“you don't have to if you don't want to dear but id love to see this beautiful body” he said holding your hips. you looked up at tony and put your head on his chest and nodded “i can do this” you said more to yourself.you lifted up your head and tony kissed your cheek. you slowly took off the dress and it fell to your ankles. you stepped out of it and watched as tony looked over you. “beautiful” he said kissing your collarbone “just beautiful” he said against your skin.

he held your hips and kissed up your neck. he nibbled and licked and sucked marking you. you pushed his pants down and felt tony smirk against your neck. he pulled away and you groaned “we’ll get there dear just, come on” he said sliding into the pool.

you blinked and walked down the steps into the pool you swam to the wall. tony walked to you and trace over the outline of the undergarments. “you put these on just for me?” he asked. “mhm” was all that escaped. tony wrapped his arms around your waist and put his head on your shoulder and kissed your shoulder. “tony” you whispered. “hmm?” he asked still peppering kisses.

“what are we doing?” you asked. tony's hands moved outlining your torso “whatever you want doll” he said lifting his head up. his eyes shimmered in the moon light and he had a small smile on his face. the water glistened on his chest and you traced his muscles. “what if i want you to fuck me?” you ask looking up at him. he smiled and chuckled “not that not yet doll not sex specifically” he said his hands moved down and his thumbs hooked onto your underwear “but if you want me to taste that pretty little cunt i will do it in a heartbeat” he said kissing your earlobe. you groaned and your hips moved forward on instinct.

he kissed your jaw softly. “please” you whimpered out. he nodded and left a small bit on your jaw. he lifted you onto the side of the pool but still near the edge. he kissed down your torso and left small bites on your chest. he licked over your navel and bit right below before taking your underwear off, you lifted your hips up to help him. he placed them to the side and bent your legs spreading your thighs apart. “look at that beautiful pussy all for me” he said.

He started kissing your thighs leaving small nibbles and marks. you knew you'd be completely marked up tomorrow but honestly you didn't care. he licked a strip through you before settling on you clit. nibbling and sucking you moaned grabbing the back of his head. your hips moved involuntarily onto his tongue.

he grabbed your hips stopping you. his tongue moved into you as your eyes slammed shut and your head leaned back. he lifted you putting your legs on his shoulder. he removed his face as best he could. “fuck my face doll” he said and you nodded grabbing his hair lifting yourself up. his strength amazed you as you rode his tongue. his grip on your thighs definitely leaving bruises tomorrow but who cares. you felt his tongue slide all over you as you kept your hips moving. “cum for me angel” he mumbled against you. your walls tightened and you felt a rush over you. your hips moved fast up and down and his tongue settled on your clit. you rode out your orgasm before tony set you back on the edge.

your head landed on his shoulder as you caught your breath. tony left small kisses on your neck as he massaged your thighs. “now that the ice has been broken i assume you have questions of our arrangement” tony said. you nodded “what are the rules i guess” you asked sitting up. tony's hands stayed on your thighs. “well i own you so no one else can have that delicious pussy except me” he said kissing your thigh. “do as i say” he said nudging your jaw. “and we dont fuck until i say so” he said.

you nodded. “why not?” you asked curious of why he wouldn't have sex. “We will doll don't worry i just want to get to know you if were going to be spending so much time together i want to know you not just fuck you and pay you, then your just a prostitute.” he replied. fair enough i mean it made sense and was actually sweet he saw this as something real then just sex. “of course we can always use our mouths as you clearly enjoy” he said with a wink “just no fucking yet” he said kissing your shoulder. “ok fair enough” you said. “good now if you break those rules you get punished” he said with a wink before getting serious “and i’ll actually be hurt” he said looking at the water. you lifted his jaw “i wont hurt you” you said. tony gave a soft smile before pecking holding your face in his hands. tony leaned in leaving a small kiss on your lips. it was short and soft but god it felt amazing. “ill see you tomorrow doll” and with that he got out o the pool

“where are you going?” you asked and he nodded next door “home” he said with a smile. you pouted and he chuckled walking to you and kissing you longer but still soft. “ill be back tomorrow doll don't worry” he said putting his shirt on and walking through the gate next door. “see you tomorrow doll” he said over his fence. you heard his door closed and leaned back kicking the water. was this crazy? oh who cares this perfect man just gave you the best deal you could ask for who cares how crazy it is. but yes, it was insane.

#tony stark #Tony Stark fanfiction #tony stark smut #tony stark x reader #tony stark x reader smut #tony stark x you #Iron Man #iron man smut #iron man x reader #MCU #MCU fanfiction #mcu smut #mcu x reader #marvel #marvel cinematic universe

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comfy-whumpee · 4 years

Text

Cat 2

@whumptober2020 Day 28: Normal. Taken from ‘Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.’

TW: Lindsey is kind of intimate in this, in a platonic but attracted way.

Taglist: @lonesome--hunter, @iaminamoodymoodtoday, @wildfaewhump, @ishouldblogmore, @lektricwhump, @that-one-thespian, @raigash, @eatyourdamnpears.

The captive was chained against the wall, long links of metal locked around the nailed-in loops in the concrete. The arms were above the head, the ankles together on the ground, and just like everyone else, the video camera was placed on its tripod in front of the victim.

It was all terribly, obnoxiously normal, except the person in the chains was Cat.

Lindsey had taken her blazer and searched her pockets, disappointed to find only the key card from the hotel and the empty packet of painkillers. “Not even your knife, Cat?” she’d commented, tossing the jacket aside. “For shame!”

Cat had only glared. Her glasses had been nudged slightly askew, and it made everything tilted, as though seasick. She didn’t have the hands to straighten them.

Now Lindsey was unbuttoning her shirt, leaning close enough that Cat could smell her, could hear her humming to herself softly, and the feeling of fingers popping the buttons of her blouse through was somehow the least disturbing thing about this situation.

“Okay!” Lindsey said, once she had unveiled her grim canvas. “Um, what’s next? Ugh, I suck at this bit!”

Next was to set the camera to record. Cat didn’t speak to tell her. Normally that was her job, so it stood to reason that Lindsey wouldn’t remember, and Cat was not interested in being a snuff film. She stared at Lindsey, and after a moment’s thought, said, “Now you fucking let me go because I’m the only person who’ll put up with your shit.”

Lindsey grinned. “Nuh-uh. You stopped putting up with me when you took Liam away. You weren’t gonna come back, Cat, I know you weren’t.”

Cat didn’t have anything to say to that. The comment had served its purpose; Lindsey had forgotten about the routine she was trying to follow. The camera was off. Fucking typical, that she’d be captured by someone who wouldn’t even remember to set the camera to record.

Someone whom she’d allowed to know her, who turned on her.

Fucking typical.

“Umm, oh, I know!” Lindsey brightened again. “Cat Herrera! You’re here because you did a bad thing! You left me, your wife, at home and ran away to elope with some guy. Also you took the nice car.”

“I’m not your wife,” Cat reminded her, for at least the thousandth time. “You know I—”

“Hate it when I call you that, yeah, yeah, I know.” Lindsey stretched her arms above her head, and gave Cat a sunny smile with a hint of slyness. “That’s why I did it. You put up with my shit! I know you hate the idea of getting married again so I, y’know. Played with it.”

The wall was suddenly very cold at Cat’s bare back. Lindsey had calculated that, too? How many more things had she missed?

Lindsey’s expression was in the shadow of the brightness of the single bulb, hanging behind her head like an ungodly halo. “You put up with loads of stuff. I cut people sometimes and you fixed it. I stole stuff and you fixed it. And you gave me people to torture! And you acted like you were a good person for doing it!” She moved forwards, beaming. “You were the dream girl.” Her voice softened. Her eyes were dark and bright. “All I had to do was keep you safe from that nasty world out there, and let you think you controlled me.”

Cat’s heartbeat was pulsing against her skin. She didn’t look away, didn’t break Lindsey’s stare, but it was no longer the glare of judgement. She looked up at Lindsey and recognised, distantly, that she was a prey animal caught in the sightlines of a predator, wondering which way to bolt.

Calm down. She knew which way.

“And you’re going to throw it away for a few days of fun,” she replied, and her voice was level. Lindsey didn’t get to do this. She didn’t get to win.

“Yeah, I am.” The knife came up, and Cat held still as the curve of the hook touched the bottom of her chin. “I can’t let you leave.”

One good thing about the gut hook was that it didn’t stab when she spoke. She spoke normally. She wouldn’t show fear, couldn’t. “I told you, I wasn’t leaving.”

“You were!” Lindsey cried suddenly, and the knife slashed down and caught on Cat’s collarbone, pain roaring to life as the tip caught and gouged through the skin. “I know you, Cat, don’t patronise me! You ran away from me! You took your fake ID and the money and the car and you disappeared and you didn’t tell me why, that’s not a lesson for me, you were running away!”

Her voice bounced off the walls, a pressure against Cat’s head as the migraine pulsed gently against her right eye. It was back, of course. Couldn’t do one thing at a time. The slow march of hot blood down her front was only part of the delights she had waiting for her today—

Focus. She kept her gaze level, breathing even, and voice steady. The more emotional Lindsey got, the calmer she had to be. “I made you think that, you idiot. That was the point.”

“No. No, the safe was a secret, the other ID you had.” Lindsey’s voice dropped back into conversational lightness dizzyingly fast. “You wanted to run. My own wife—”

“I’m not your fucking wife—”

“—leaving me for a boy.”

“I don’t even date, Lindsey.”

“Mhmm, because you know what I’d do to anyone you did.”

“No. You know I’m not interested.”

Lindsey shrugged away the truth. “You’re not a very good liar. You get all snippy and mean when you lie. C’mon, just admit it. You wanted to leave me.”

Cat glared at her, but she was thinking. If Lindsey really could tell when she was lying – sometimes, not all the time – then it was better to be honest about this one thing. Just one thing.

“I didn’t,” she said. She let it pause, let Lindsey’s eyebrows rise at it sank in. “I didn’t want to leave you, Lin. I wanted to believe you’d just messed up, that you really had changed and you listened to me. I wanted to ignore it. But Liam was like me, you know it. I couldn’t let you fuck him up. We’re supposed to protect people like that.”

Lindsey’s nose wrinkled. “That was your thing, not me.”

“It was our thing,” Cat corrected, sharply as she could muster. “It was what we built together. And you destroyed it because you couldn’t resist a victim under your nose. Don’t blame me for this, Lindsey. This was all you.”

Lindsey didn’t immediately reply. Cat breathed, controlled and regular, feeling her heartbeat slow. That was it, her last appeal to their relationship. A line in the sand, though Lindsey might not know it. If she listened, and accepted it was her fault, maybe Cat could get out of this alive. Maybe she still had a foothold, however small, in Lindsey’s artificial conscience.

For a long minute, Lindsey thought. She was frowning, which was a good sign. The less happy she was with the situation, the better Cat’s odds were. The less certain she was that this was what she wanted, the more likely it was that Cat could persuade her that it wasn’t.

“Mmnngh,” Lindsey groaned. “Maybe you’re right. I did kinda fuck up. I could’ve got you back. But you should’ve told me you weren’t running away.”

Relief couldn’t be shown. Cat rolled her eyes. “Fine. I will next time.” Glare. “Not that there should be a next time.”

“No,” Lindsey agreed, but she seemed distracted. “No, there wouldn’t be. ‘Cause, even if you were gonna come back, now...” Her eyes focused on Cat’s bleeding collarbone. “I did it, didn’t I?”

“What?”

“I hurt you.” She raised the knife and considered it, tilting it until a reflection of light crossed her face. She rubbed a thumb over the hook, smearing away a trace of Cat’s blood. “You said if I ever hurt you, you’d leave forever. And I just did.”

Cat watched, unable to speak, as Lindsey’s eyes moved back to her cut, fixed there. A hand rose, brushed across the skin, pressed where it was broken as if she could rub it away, and Lindsey sighed softly, happily. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”

Cat’s jaw set. “Let me down.”

“Mm-mm. Not this time.” Slowly, she raised the knife. With the edge of the blade, this time, she drew down Cat’s other collarbone, a long slice along its ridge that stung in the metal’s wake. Lindsey exhaled shakily. “Oh man, I’m so not allowed to do this.”

She knew. She did it anyway. The time for talking was over. Words wouldn’t stop her now.

“Cat,” Lindsey said, and it was still the same voice, the same tone, the same friend who had been with her for over a decade. “You look so good. You’re so pretty. I knew it, I knew you would be.”

Don’t be so fucking creepy, Lin.

There was no point. This was happening. Her nightmares had come true.

“I know you like blue,” Lindsey said, and the smile in her eyes was bright, too bright, fixated. “But I think red is your colour.”

#whump #whumptober2020 #no.28 #such wow. many normal. very oops #ladywhump #lady whumper #...lady on lady whump?#fem whump #intimate whumper #chains #defiant whumpee #cat #lindsey #my fic #cutting

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avatar-the-last-jerkbender · 4 years

Text

my heart is screaming out

- an OsaAka fic -

AO3

Osamu: hey theyre throwing a party for me tmrw bfore i leave for college r u coming

Read 1:37 AM

(Somewhere in the distance, a little bell rings)

Osamu: hey theyre throwing a party for me tmrw bfore i leave for college r u coming

sorry i cant something came up

(A little bell rings)

Osamu: hey theyre throwing a party for me tmrw bfore i leave for college r u coming

yh what time? ill b there

(No bells ring, and we can finally move on)

Keiji is drunk. The most alcohol he’s had before is sips of champagne on New Year’s Eve but something about the sense of finality and charged atmosphere leads him to say ‘fuck it’ and knock back two White Claws barely an hour after he steps through Osamu’s front door.

The living room is usually as familiar to him as his own but now it’s packed with bodies and almost completely dark, save for the disco lights flashing around the room.

Keiji feels warmer, fuzzier than usual and finds himself cackling wildly at something Atsumu said, all his usual composure and inhibitions gone. Once he finishes gasping with laughter, he melts further into the sofa, content to spend the rest of the evening laying there completely boneless.

“Keiji!”

Osamu’s arm drapes around his shoulders as he pushes away from a cluster of people, settling heavily into Keiji’s side. The line where his thigh meets Keiji’s, where their torsos are now mashed into each other seems to burn, made even hotter by the way they’re both sweating and the alcohol coursing through Keiji’s bloodstream.

“I haven’t talked to you all evening,” Osamu gushes. “How are you doing?”

Keiji has stopped laughing now, fully raptured by Osamu’s gray eyes, pupils dilated in the dim lighting.

“Hi. I’m good.” He can smell the cheap beer one of their friends brought on Osamu’s breath and he vaguely thinks he should be disgusted. “Really good.”

“I’m glad you came,” Osamu says.

Keiji beams at him and he sees the surprise in Osamu’s face.

He distantly remembers what the other man had told him about his smiles.

Apparently Keiji had five of them:

1. The fake one 2. The one when he found something funny despite his best intentions 3. The one when he was being mean 4. The one when he was embarrassed 5. And the genuinely happy one

He has no idea which one Osamu is seeing right now but whichever one it is, he seems to like it, turning even redder before burying his face into the crook of Keiji’s neck.

“You’re going to kill me,” he groans, breath wafting over Keiji’s collarbone and making him shiver.

Keiji twists slightly to sling a leg over Osamu, moving his arms up to wrap around broad shoulders. Maybe if he held on tight enough, Osamu wouldn’t leave for college, wouldn’t leave their friends, wouldn’t leave their hometown. Wouldn’t leave Keiji. He tightens his grip and shifts further so he’s straddling Osamu and propping his chin on his shoulder. “Not if you kill me first,” he counters, as Osamu’s hands slip down to his waist.

It’s not like they haven’t cuddled before. While Keiji isn’t the most tactile, Osamu more than makes up for it, messing with his hair, linking their hands or pinkies when they walk next to each other, hugging him frequently.

But it’s different now, with the way Osamu’s looking at him like he’s the only thing in the world, the gaze he’s only seen in fragments and glimpses. Never as concentrated as it is now.

“Keiji…” he breathes and somewhere behind them, in the sea of chatter, Keiji hears someone go,”hey where’d Osamu go- holy fucking shit!”

They inch closer, lips almost touching before Keiji comes to his senses and turns his head away, pushing at Osamu’s chest.

“Wait, no. I can’t do this to you. I’m sorry.”

Osamu’s eyes flash with hurt and his jaw tenses but he nods, releasing his vise-like grip on Keiji.

The silence between them is not awkward but it feels heavy and sad, all the giddy happiness from earlier completely gone.

“I need a drink,” Keiji says numbly, clambering off Osamu’s lap and almost tripping over someone else’s foot in his haste to get to the kitchen.

The sudden brightness makes him blink and squint as he spots a pack of 4loko and makes a beeline for it. The bottle is in his hand before he changes his mind and opens the cupboard for a water glass instead.

Osamu was always meant for bigger and better things. More than what their city could offer him.

And that’s why Keiji knows he has to let him go, so he fills the cup with water from the fridge, drinking it fast to try and get rid of the sudden lump in his throat.

(A bell rings)

But it’s different now, with the way Osamu’s looking at him like he’s the only thing in the world, the gaze he’s only seen in fragments and glimpses. Never as concentrated as it is now.

“Keiji…” he breathes and somewhere behind them, in the sea of chatter, Keiji hears someone go,”hey where’d Osamu go- holy fucking shit!”

They inch closer, lips almost touching-

-until Keiji sees the look on Osamu’s face.

The passion from before has been replaced by pure sadness and it’s enough to immediately clear Keiji’s head.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, clambering off Osamu’s lap and settling into his side.

“S’okay,” he hears Osamu say, twining their fingers together as Keiji lets his head drop onto his shoulder.

Keiji feels his chest pang. The warmth and roughness of Osamu’s hands are a welcome contrast to his own, which are almost always clammy and cold.

He doesn’t know how they’re going to stay warm with Osamu over 1000 miles away.

Somehow he falls asleep like that, fingers tangled with Osamu’s as his eyes slip shut and the noise of the party fades into the background.

He doesn’t hear Osamu’s quiet, “I’m sorry too,” as the evening goes on.

(A bell doesn’t ring. But a dice is rolled instead, spinning and clattering until it lands on:

Keiji Akaashi, University Student (21)

It’s past midnight and the caller ID is one he hasn’t seen in a few months, but it still makes his heart flutter and his stomach drop.

Keiji Akaashi immediately stops typing his English assignment and picks up the phone. “Hello?” he says, stifling a yawn.

“Keiji?”

Instantly, he knows something is wrong. Osamu’s voice is small and scared in a way he hasn’t heard in a while.

“Is everything okay?” Any traces of sleepiness are gone now and he feels fully alert, fear churning in his gut.

“I fucked up,” Osamu mumbles. “I fucked up so bad.”

Here’s what he tells Akaashi:

Osamu is dating a girl named Hitomi

and he didn’t really feel the need to tell Keiji about her because it wasn’t anything serious he swears (and that hurts Keiji in a way he doesn’t want to decipher- when did they start keeping secrets from each other?)

and it had only been a few months (months!!! That’s pretty serious!!!) but

Hitomi

was

pregnant

“I’m so lost,” he hears Osamu sniffle slightly. “Help me, Keiji, please.”

Keiji takes a shuddering breath, knowing that this is just another piece of Osamu he will never get back. “You’re going to be a great dad, ‘Samu. Get some sleep okay? We’ll talk in the morning.”

They may be time zones apart but Keiji would rather cut out his own heart than abandon the love of his life his best friend.

Besides, he means it. Osamu would be a great dad.

(A bell rings. Roll the dice again, this time it lands on:

Keiji Akaashi immediately stops typing his English assignment and picks up the phone. “Hello?” he says, stifling a yawn.

“Keiji?”

Instantly, he knows something is wrong. Osamu’s voice is small and scared in a way he hasn’t heard in a while.

“Is everything okay?” Any traces of sleepiness are gone now and he feels fully alert, fear churning in his gut.

“I fucked up,” Osamu mumbles. “I fucked up so bad.”

Osamu tells Keiji about Hitomi, the girlfriend he has literally never heard of.

He learns Osamu is going to be a father at 21.

Well then.

“Congratulations,” Keiji chokes out, over the weight of his own feelings. “You’ll do great ‘Samu. I believe in you.”

Don’t you dare abandon them like you abandoned me.

(An easy way to determine futures is to draw a flowchart. The bell’s been rung and the dice’s been tossed. Draw infinite lines out from infinite nows and see where they lead)

Whether or not they stopped calling after the news of Osamu’s child didn’t matter- the same thing always happened.

Osamu called on Keiji’s 25th birthday.

Keiji told Osamu about the wedding.

Keiji asked Osamu to be the best man.

Osamu and Keiji both knew something didn’t feel right.

Keiji and Osamu both said nothing, offering platitudes and empty conversation.

How’s your child doing?

She’s four now! Would you like to see pictures?

They’re both so fucking stupid.

But there’s no reason to ring the bell here so Keiji marries Akinori and Osamu suffers in silence and Akinori cheats on Keiji and Keiji calls Osamu crying and Osamu asks where he is and Keiji is outside his apartment door and he opens it-

Osamu’s arms felt like coming home.

(Unfortunately, a bell rings now)

They’re both so fucking stupid.

Keiji almost falls into Osamu’s arms, just as big and familiar as he remembered then. But then he sees the man in the background and feels his broken heart crack just a little further.

INTERMISSION

“Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.” - Bette Davis

CONTINUATION

“I’m sorry to intrude,” Keiji says, suddenly feeling foolish.

“It’s fine. You’re always welcome.” But Osamu looks distinctly uncomfortable and the man behind him continues to scrutinize Keiji with sharp eyes.

“Hi,” Keiji says, regaining his composure. “I’m Keiji Akaashi.”

“I’m Rintarou. I’m ‘Samu’s boyfriend.”

The nickname sounds so different when it’s not Keiji saying it.

They shake hands.

“We just moved in together,” Osamu says. “Would you like to stay for a bit?”

Keiji gives a smile, one of the fake ones Osamu hates. “I’m sorry, I think I have to go.”

(A bell rings)

“We just moved in together,” Osamu says. “Would you like to stay for a bit?”

“So when were you going to tell me you got a boyfriend?” Keiji blurts out.

(A bell rings)

“We just moved in together,” Osamu says. “Would you like to stay for a bit?”

Keiji chews on his lip, considering. “Sure, why not?”

He picks up his suitcase and heads inside.

(The dice lays abandoned and the bell rings again.)

Somewhere, in another path of the universe, they meet as old men. They talk about everything that could have been, dance together one last time before parting ways once again, secure in the knowledge that their love will last but too scared to finally take the leap and see how it plays out.

Somewhere, in another path of the universe, they meet as old men. They talk about everything that could have been, dance together, and finally agree to take the leap and try to make a relationship happen.

After all, timing means nothing if you aren’t willing to work for what you want.

There are other universes where their love doesn’t behave as gracefully as they want it to, where they never talk again but-

Not this one.

Ring the bell, please!

(Multiple bells chime)

But it’s different now, with the way Osamu’s looking at him like he’s the only thing in the world, the gaze he’s only seen in fragments and glimpses. Never as concentrated as it is now.

“Keiji…” he breathes and somewhere behind them, in the sea of chatter, Keiji hears someone go,”hey where’d Osamu go- holy fucking shit!”

They inch closer, lips almost touching-

Keiji pauses to look at Osamu’s face. He looks scared and slightly sad, and Keiji sees a million futures play out in front of him.

In another life, maybe he wouldn’t be selfish with Osamu’s affection. Maybe he would let Osamu go do whatever he wanted, even if that didn’t include Keiji.

But Keiji also knows he loves Osamu in a way he loves no one else and while he knows he could fall for other people and welcome them into his life-

(Keiji can practically count Osamu’s lashes. They’re short and black, a contrast to the dyed gray hair on his head.

He slowly runs a thumb over Osamu’s cheekbone, skin soft under his fingers and continues to make eye contact, unwilling to look away for even a second.)

-Osamu is the only Osamu he will ever meet. It’s an undeniable fact and somehow doesn’t entirely seem like a bad thing.

“We should-” Osamu starts and Keiji smashes their lips together.

He can taste beer on Osamu’s tongue and he chases it, tilting his head so he can kiss him deeper.

Osamu’s arms are wrapped tight around his waist and Keiji settles even further into his lap, trying to mold their bodies together.

Someone wolf whistles in the background and Atsumu is shrieking, “ewwwwww!” but he can barely hear them through the sound of his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

They pull apart with a gasp for air and Keiji self consciously wipes his lips with the back of his hand. Osamu looks just as blissed out and confused as he feels, eyes wide and mouth open.

“I know you’re leaving. I know the time isn’t right. But I don’t know if it will ever be,” Keiji says, pressing his forehead against Osamu’s. “I don’t want to lose you. Please, can we try?”

From here he can see the slightest bit of moisture welling up in Osamu’s eyes.

“Of course. Anything for you, Keiji.”

Keiji smiles wide, one of the genuine ones he knows Osamu loves and leans in to hold him tighter.

(No bells ring. Everything is okay. They’ll be okay.)

#haikyuu!!#osaaka #hq rarepair #akaashi keiji #miya osamu #akaashi keiji x miya osamu #this just in: stupid idiot writes exclusively for rarepairs #ramblingraccoon writes

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imsfire2 · 6 years

Text

Writing meme

RULES: List the openings of the last ten stories you published. Look to see if there are any patterns that you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any! Then tag some friends.

I was tagged by @atthelamppost – thank you for tagging me!

1 By stardust and moonlight

“I know you’re out there,” Jyn Erso says to the open door, and the wolf beyond it.

The creature’s been hovering round her cottage all day, and so far has made no attempt either to hide itself, or to attack. It’s no normal beast of the wild woods, this, though she’s not yet sure what it is. But talking to it is certainly worth a try.

Her home stands on the edge of the forest, in a dell sheltered from the north-east wind by the embrace of the trees, and hidden from the eyes of soldiers, and worse, by the hunched spine of moorland and the broken land and marshes in the south. Any company she needs, she goes to; no human soul comes here, not without her permission, and very precise directions. Yet the place tends to attract strange creatures like this; the place, or she herself. There’s probably a shine of magic on her like a full galaxy’s light, could she but see it. But though the stardust of her power makes her fingertips tingle and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, it’s invisible to human vision.

2 A table at the wedding

“We shouldn’t have been put here,” Jyn hisses. “We’re near the front. It’s not right.”

Her neighbour leans down a little to answer. Okay, perhaps more than a little. Cassian has had a few drinks and his hair is in a mess, his collar open, his eyes mild and smiling. “Not right? - how?”

“Up here it should be – close friends. We ought to be on the back table.”

At least she’s not so drunk as to say family. The groom has none and the bride has only her brother. Besides Han and Leia, and Luke acting as best man to both bride and groom, the top table is occupied by Chewie, Mothma and Admiral Ackbar, and Threepio embarrassedly passing dishes to and fro.

3 Epiphany and cake

The first thing that hits Cassian as they come out of the terminal, hauling their wild assortment of luggage and looking around for the promised eight-seater mini-bus-cab, is the temperature. It must be a good 16 or 17 degrees C here. And okay, that isn’t hot; but after weeks of northern European winter temperatures, culminating in the astonishing beauty and fairy-tale sparkle of a snow-bound German Christmas, the temperature he confidently described as cold in October now feels astonishingly warm. Balmy, even. It’s comical; within minutes he’s perspiring in his jacket, and he hasn’t so much as looked at the parka stuffed in the top of his cabin bag.

The sky had gradually cleared as they flew south. First there were small breaks in the white, that allowed him glimpses of the Croatian coast with its lace of islands; then another bank of solid cloud, as brilliant as the snow over Saxony, and for over an hour the ground was hidden again. But as they started to descend the cloud cover broke for good, like a clean line swept across the air, and the mountains came into view, rough gold and grey, bleakly rocky and definitely snowless. Every ridge seemed to be lined with wind turbines, turning steadily in the clear air. The valleys and coastal plains were startlingly green, the sea an assertive deep blue; fine golden roads looped between small towns like red and white tile mosaic, with an occasional glint of turquoise glass where a swimming pool caught the light.

4 Out of darkness (Solo Quiero Caminar fic – all the rest are Rogue One)

So, he watches her.

The street is dark, and she is walking into the dark; he isn’t quite sure where the borders of the darkness lie, in the pools of streetlight or in himself. His eyes aren’t working quite right anymore, and he clings on to the last sweet thing he will see, clings to the sight of her walking, as his brain clings to the last sweet thing it will know, the memory (remember me remember me) the memory of her body her lips the sadness in her eyes…

The blood running down his hip and pooling in the plastic seat is sickly, stickily hot and he is beginning to feel numb inside, the pain putting itself at a distance from him.

The street is dark, and Aurora walks into the dark, and he goes into the dark watching her.

5 In the mountains

There’s still snow on the ground at this altitude, and the grey cloud cover seems to come steadily closer to her as she climbs. Steadily, and faster than it properly should. It’s almost as if it’s creeping downslope towards her. Pretty soon she’ll be enveloped in it. Already the damp in the air is snaking inside her jacket, pinching at her old throat.

Well, so serve her right for volunteering. All very well to acknowledge the twitch of guilt that comes when she looks at them, that tiny remnant of the Resistance, a few dozen beings with fear and hope in their eyes, without letting herself get sucked into joining them. She could just have commiserated and offered a few quiet supply routes. Instead of putting on her stoutest boots and actually marching out. Time was, when she was a settled businesswoman, she’d have had more common sense.

Time was, she could have paid someone young and fit to do this job. Why the hells the old fighter had to choose a place like this for a hideaway…

6 Home is where you start from

Jyn holds her hands out to the official. Waits patiently and with a face of practiced unconcern while they scan her palms and the pads of her fingers.

She has to discipline her expression slightly more when she’s offered a swab and a sealable tube. There were too many years of hiding for it to be easy even now to surrender this data casually. Even more than her hand-prints, her DNA could be used to identify her. But the records-search can’t be completed without a clear and unequivocal ID.

Cassian, beside her, reaches out under the counter-top. He squeezes her tense right hand briefly as she takes the swab in her left. Jyn gives him a quick smile.

7 Shh…

She’s muttering Shh, shh, shh sleepily, rocking in the old upright chair, and there’s a sudden warm light and movement in her peripheral vision. She looks up, to Cassian leaning in the doorway, watching them.

Esperanz has fallen asleep again, his nightmare gone, the warmth of her body a safety and a strength to ease his little heart. She rocks him very gently as he clutches reflexively on her shirt. Tiny toddler fingers, iron grip. Heavy limbs, heavy head, sweaty brow pressed into her collarbone, sweaty curls under her hand.

The lamplight streams round Cassian and silhouettes him, but she can tell he’s smiling even in the shadows.

8 Advice

All the Jedhan survivors look to Chirrut and Baze as parental figures and sources of counsel. Outside of senior command levels elders of any race are in short supply in the rebellion, and sometimes you need the advice of an elder, both for personal questions and for practical things you simply don’t know how to do. Things it would be hard to ask an admiral, even one as approachable as Ackbar.

It can be a little awkward at times.

Baze does his best, patiently determined either to have an answer or to find one, or to find someone else who can. He never knows when someone may turn up, hovering at his side, with their anxious eager eyes and random medical questions, and moral and domestic and childcare questions and Oh, it’s frustrating but he does what he can… Stain removal, how to cook Argussian spinach, can you still eat old cheese if you cut off the mouldy bits? Sometimes it flat-out stuns him, the things people think he’ll know.

9 A custom of poetry

Jyn is writing, and for a few moments, with the tip of her tongue caught between her lips, she feels as though she can do this. How hard can it be to say what she has to, in a poetic way?

She reads through the handful of words on the screen.

Winces. Deletes.

Tries again.

10 Pain

It galls Jyn to admit it, but she’d find her injury easier to bear if it had happened in the line of duty. But to have taken up a bed in med-bay and a doctor’s time, to be using precious analgesics, when all she did was over-extend helping to move a console out of the briefing room; it’s just humiliating.

Right now, she’s doped up like a tantaun on a transport. She can move about her quarters, she can walk and lie down, and bend into a seat if she takes her time about it. Just. But her back isn’t going to get better for a good while, and krif it, it’s no good, she needs the painkillers.

(I’m ignoring “Fifty words from a journey underground” because as that follows the fifty single-sentence mini-fics formula it doesn’t really have a beginning in the normal sense).

So...

Patterns/common themes/shared qualities errrr

I’m finding it surprisingly hard to spot any. I seem to like to start either with description, or with a line or two of dialogue and then description immediately after. Scene setting rather than jumping straight into action or plot. Also I tend to open with one of my weaknesses, a rather long sentence.

Tagging @gloriouswhisperstyphoon, @skitzofreak, @thenewleeland, @bright-elen

#writing meme #patterns & common themes of fic openings #interesting meme #thank you for tagging me

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sayonarashadow · 5 years

Text

omg a ~tag game~ are you excited cuz i am (i wanted to make that cursive but i literally couldnt figure out how to)

big shout out to morecoffeethanhuman love u 😘

How old are you: i am a sweet spicy 16 year old which is weird bc i feel like ive been on tumblr for like 23 years while also being alive for like 5

Surgeries: i dont think i ever had one? more on that below lol

Tattoos: none but i want a lot. describing them all would take forever so i’ll just disclose that the first one i want is prompto’s barcode (spoilers lol) on my wrist bc i am just that dedicated

Ever hit a deer: my mom wont let me learn how to drive (lol) but one time my dad hit a deer while i was in his jeep when i was like 5 and we were stuck on the side of the road for like an hour bc it fucked up something at the front of the car and my brother was crying like the whole time. i love my childhood

Sang karaoke: in my room alone and with my friends in the car, but never actually in public

Ice skating: no but i went roller skating once. i fell on my ass in front of two people and they looked at me like :/ and they didnt even help me up and i never went again

Ridden a motorcycle: no but id love to, if you have a motorcycle hmu ;)

Ridden in an ambulance: nah

Skipped school: i very often skip so i can play a new game that came out, i live up to be the epitome of responsibility that my teachers want me to be (life is strange and the walking dead are the common culprits because they like... come out multiple times. if that makes sense. so im blaming life is strange if i skip the day my ap exam takes place (which i wont do. probably))

Stayed in the hospital: not overnight but i was in one for a few hours when i had some weird throat disease or something idk

Broken bones: i love telling these stories so here we go: when i was in the process of coming out of the womb i actually broke my collarbone!! literally no idea how it happened but it did and it rly set the tone for the rest of my life. and then like a year or two later i was tossing a ball back and forth on the couch with my mom and the ball fell off so my dumbass dove to get it and i hella ate floor and also got stuck in between the wall and the couch and i guess i hit my other collarbone somehow and it broke. that’s the follow up to the “any surgeries?” question bc i dont know if i got surgery to fix it or not but its healed by now in case you were wondering :)

Last phone call: from my mom asking what i want on my subway sandwich

Last text from: it was on snapchat and we didnt save it so i dont remember what it was exactly but it was from my bff and we were talking about eyeliner i think (just girly things)

Watched someone die: only me, internally (just emo things)

Pepsi or Coke: dr pepper B)

Favourite pie: chocolate bc im a bougie bitch

Favourite pizza: i dont really have a go-to favorite, im good with pretty much anything as long as theres no pineapples >:(((

Favourite season: fall because of all the nice pretty colors and how its cold but not too cold u kno

Received a ticket: this may be a surprise but i have not earned my license since the last question about driving. i assume i could go get a ticket if i tried to drive right now though, just to look cool

Favorite color: blue, especially dark blue

Sunrise or sunset: sunset

Favourite Christmas song: father christmas by the kinks its never played on the radio during christmas :(

Cupcakes or cookies: cookies

i dont tag people bc i have anxiety but you can always feel free to do this yourself if you feel like it, live ur life babe 🤠

#alexis chatters #thank u lyris this helped me procrastinate on my homework <3

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atlaswriting · 5 years

Text

“We’re going to go to bed.” Ellie chimes, taking one last drink of the tequila before pushing it away. She moves to stand, legs shaking and nearly falls but Brody’s a goaltender for a reason and catches her. Lip pulled forward in a pout, Ellie rolls her eyes, “do you want sex or not, Brody?”

“And then there were two.” Abram says unenthusiastically.

“I can go home, I really don’t mind.”

I reach for my phone on the table but he’s closer and pulls it away. “I already said you aren’t calling an Uber. So let’s just get this over with.”

Following him down the hall, I would be lying if I said excitement wasn’t pricking at my skin. I shut the door behind me and kick off my shoes.

“You’re not going to sleep in that are you?” He points toward my dress.

“I’m certainly not going to sleep naked.”

Abram leans down and lifts a shirt from his bag, sniffs it and tosses it at me. Reaching for the light, I turn it off, ignoring his hey as we both get changed in the dark. “You know I’ve seen all of that already, right? You don’t have to hide.”

“Trust me, you haven’t seen all of this—and you don’t want to.”

He says something, muttered through tight lips as the bed creaks under his weight. I steel my stomach and climb under the blankets, pulling them under my chin staring up at the ceiling. When the quiet sticks to the walls of the room like honey and I think Abram’s asleep, I allow tequila to coax words out of my mouth, “I miss you. God, I miss you so much,” I whisper, “I’ve dialed you a hundred times and stopped once it started ringing. I miss you and it hurts, every day. They keep telling me it’s going to get better, but it doesn’t. It hasn’t and I don’t think it will.”

It’s fast, his movement—one second I think he’s asleep and the next he’s on top of me, using his body to pin me to the bed. One hand tangles with my hair and the other grips my waist firmly. He stares at me, without saying anything, silence broken up only with tense swallows. He leans down, lips hovering over mine and my legs pulls apart and then wrap around his waist, pulling him to me because close, isn’t close enough.

“Abram—we can’t.” My lips shake with want, and nails dig into his shoulders but he doesn’t withdraw from the pain. Despite the protests from my mouth my legs tighten around him.

“Shut up.” He demands, “don’t you ever get tired of controlling everything?” his lips are so close I can fell the movement as he whispers but each time I move forward, he moves away. “Fuck it, to hell with the closure.” He says before crashing his lips against mine.

Abram stops to turn the lamp beside the bed on, but I catch his wrist, “Don’t,” I beg. “In the dark, please.”

“Elise, I want to see you—all of you.”

“I don’t want that, please.”

He turns on the light anyway and moves back just enough to lift the shirt from my torso and peel it away, “I’ve seen the good, the bad. I’ve seen the pretty and the ugly—I’ve always wanted to see it all,” he presses his lips to my collarbone, “and that isn’t going to change.”

Insecurity makes a home out of my chest but as he kisses down it, it starts to disappear. The added pounds and extra skin mean nothing the further he dips down my stomach. Leaning my head back against the pillow, I shut my eyes when I his mouth peppers kisses up thigh.

One last weak attempt to stop this before we burn ourselves to the ground rises up my throat, but the further his head moves between my legs, the quiet it becomes until I’m pressing my hand over my mouth to keep the protests in.

♡ ♡ ♡

Abram’s still asleep when I pull myself out of bed in the morning. I wash away all my regret from a few hours ago and only when my skin feels new and clean do I leave the scalding shower and the safety of the steamy bathroom.

“How did you sleep?” Gigi is already in the kitchen when I walk in. She pours me a cup of coffee and slides it over the counter, “Well, I hope—you’re rather a loud sleeper.”

“You…”

“I think everybody in the neighborhood did, if I’m being honest.” She smiles, flipping a pancake on the griddle, “I’m not one to judge, but if I were trying to get over somebody, the last place I would be is under them.”

I slid into an empty seat at the table, allow myself to swallow my shame chased with the bitter coffee before answering her, “I was drunk?”

“Not as much as you think you were.”

Burying my face in my hands, regret tastes a lot like love and all the work I’ve put into getting over Abram would have to start all over.

“If we’re going to play pretend, you might want to opt for a turtle neck, dear,” Gigi scratches at her throat, “it might help with your story.”

Bodies pile into the kitchen shortly after I wake Ellie up to borrow a shirt from her. She can hardly contain the smile, even as she shovels her mouth full of food.

“I’ve got such a nasty hangover,” she says in between mouthfuls of food. “I’m never going to drink tequila again. Brody, you have to make sure I don’t.”

His head is hardly held up by his hand but he grimaces at all the voices around him, “Yeah, sure, that’s like taking a steak away from a lion. I’m not putting my life at risk.” He tries to recoil from her elbows which aims straight for his rib, but is too slow. “Oh look, Sleeping Beauty is finally up. I’m glad someone was able to sleep last night.” Brody laughs, nearly losing his mouthful of bacon in the process.

Despite feeling his eyes stare daggers into me, I keep my eyes floating around the room—everywhere except at him. I’m grateful when my phone begins to vibrate on the table, I don’t even look at the caller ID first. “Excuse me.” I stand so fast from the chair that it skids on the hardwood floor.

♡ ♡ ♡

“How you left New York was completely uncalled for. Last I checked, I didn’t raise an animal.” Cerise’s voice was the last thing I wanted to hear, but it gave me a second’s break from Abram, so I relished in it, falling onto a step and pressing my phone to my ear. “You made me look like an idiot at work.”

“You called me fat in front of your co-workers!”

“I was only trying to help, Elise.”

“And hell is just a sauna.”

She tsks me softly and I can hear her nails tap against her desk, “I swear, each time you return home from California you are less and less civilized. Perhaps I should stop allowing you to see your father. From what I hear you spend time with that boy every time you go.”

I roll my eyes and lean my head against the palm of my hand, “I don’t talk to him anymore, mama.”

“So it should be easy to cut him out of your life. You deserve more, Elise. You know that I want the best for you. Yousef will be coming to New York in a few weeks, we should get you two to dinner—I think it’ll be good for you to start dating other people. It’s been long enough. Nobody likes someone who’s sad all the time.”

Mid-way through the conversation, I pull the phone away from my ear. Grunting mhms every few moments loud enough for her to think I’m listening. “Youself is gay, mama!” I finally yell to shut her up, “I have about as much chance getting with him as you stand at getting any money from Malachi!”

“You’re a cruel girl, Elise. Using my own heartbreak against me.”

A laugh bubbles up my throat and without meaning to, I release it, “As if you’ve never done the same to me.” She starts to say something else, but my finger presses a little too hard on the end conversation button and it follows onto the stair between my feet.

♡ ♡ ♡

I take comfort in Gigi’s orders for the day. Her last minute list of things to do was a mile long and I offer to do much of the running around for her.

“I’ll go with you,” Abram offers, pushing off the couch, he moves toward me, “we can talk about—,”

“I think I heard Ellie offer, actually,”

She looks up from the play station remote in her hand, mouth hung open, “I don’t think I said anything.”

“You did, you told me you wanted to help me.” I hold up the list, “Remember?”

She frowns for a moment before standing and reluctantly shoving the controller into Abram’s chest, “Lucky me.”

I grab her hand and tug her after me, grabbing the keys to Gigi’s car on the way out.

“Why didn’t you just take Abram?” She asks when we’ve safely weaved down the winding path, “He was offering to go with you. You two could’ve talked—or not talked at all, I don’t know what you’re into.”

My grip on the steering wheel tightens, “I don’t want to talk to Abram,” I tell her, “Every time I’m around him I love you wants to jump out of my throat. I was almost over him, Ellie.”

“No you weren’t.”

The quiet is enough of an answer for the both of us, “Okay, well I could have been—but then last night… It gave me hope.” Turning into the parking lot of a grocery store, I don’t say anything again until the car is parked, “Maybe he can’t forget what I did to him—but I think maybe he can forgive me. And that’s something I don’t want to let go of.”

“You were ready to throw in the towel two days ago.”

“But then we kissed.”

“Kissed?”

“I’m just saying. It felt like coming home—he felt like coming home.”

“Someone was coming alright, but I don’t think it was home.”

“I hate you.”

♡ ♡ ♡

“Can I sit with you?”

There’s a blanket pulled around my shoulders—the cool, crisp fall night that southern California is currently living in was welcomed, but the chill sunk in to my bones.

“It’s your house, you can sit anywhere.”

Abram settles in beside me on the porch and I offer him some of the blanket. He shakes his head, holding out a cup of wine.

“Drinking around you is dangerous.”

#thread: ablise #thread: all

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