#taylor honey your gay is loud again

[ohgaylor]

A Place in This World // Holy Ground // So It Goes… // cowboy like me (all lyric connections)

#iykyk #lyric*connections #taylor swift #parallels #mine #cowboy like me #a place in this world #holy ground #so it goes #gaylor #taylor honey your gay is loud again #I know what you are #👀

[taylorgrape]

Ryan's Characters as Taylor Swift Songs

I am so sorry. @rumor-weed

AUDREY "RUMOR" WEED AS NEW ROMANTICS "The rumors are terrible and cruel but honey most of them are true." I'm gonna be so real the above lyric was such a big part of me picking this as a song for her lmao. But also it's just sorta a vibey bop and the general energy of it reminds me so much of Audrey which obviously we love. Other notable lyrics that give me Audrey vibes: "We play dumb but we know exactly what we're doing" "It's poker, he can't see it on my face but I'm about to play my ace." "We team up then switch sides like a record changer."

BARTLEBEY THE BUTLER AS TIMELESS "Time breaks down your mind and body, don't you let it touch your soul." Bartlebey is Timeless for two reasons. One, is, of course, the fact that Ryan and I are constantly pushing the narrative of Pincherbey are in love in every single universe and timeline. The other reason is that we don't know if he belongs in this timeline at all or what his like... whole deal is in any regard. And for that reason it is very funny to just say "Bartlebey is Timeless." Other notable lyrics that give me Bartlebey vibes: "And somehow I know that you and I would've found each other." "I thought about it as I started lookin' 'round at these precious things that time forgot." "We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made, and you'll say, 'Oh my, we really were timeless'."

PHIL WINKLESTEIN AS TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR "The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star." King of yearning ofc gets the yearning song of all time. Honestly listening to this song and thinking abt the musical situation with Bob and everything just came together. My mans is so in his feelings and if he has a guitar (which he might I'm not caught up on the Phillip lore) I just know that mf would have teardrops on it. Other notable lyrics that give me Phil vibes: "I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night" "So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light, I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight." "The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart"

PETER PEPPARAZZI AS EYES OPEN "So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard." Ofc Mr. Pepparazzi is the song abt how everyone is watching you. Because my mans is the one watching!! He is the 'everyone' referenced in lyrics below. King of being nosy fr. I really do not have much to say past that bc I love that this is just how he be. Other notable lyrics that give me Peter vibes: "Everybody's waiting for you to break down" "Everybody's watching to see the fallout" "And nobody comes to save you now."

LOVEY ASPARAGUS AS I DID SOMETHING BAD "I don't regret it one bit 'cause he had it comin'." Miss I killed my husband is obviously this song are you KIDDINGGG literally I could just list every single lyric in this song and it would be correct. She's a baddie and even tho she did in fact kill her husband she's kind of a feminist icon for that. He deserved it and I'm glad she did it. Other notable lyrics that give me Lovey vibes: "Most fun I ever had and I'd do it over and over and over again if I could." "They never see it coming what I do next." "They're burning all the witches even if you aren't one, so light me up."

NEBBY K NEZZER AS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN "And snakes and stones never broke my bones." hear me out hear mE OUT- my man has dealt with far too much shit he's done his time... and he's surrounded by well... we know them. He's just done and that is DESERVED. Also, of course I am slightly biased but this is such him and his stupid high school glee rival energy. PLUSSS (as listed below) 'shade never made anybody less gay' ARE YOU KIDDDINGGG so nezzer coded (source: bro trust me) Other notable lyrics that give me Nezzer vibes: "And I'm just like 'Damn, it's 7:00 a.m.'" "You need to calm down, you're being too loud." "'cause shade never made anybody less gay."

ART BIGOTTI AS ILLICIT AFFAIRS "Take the words for what they are; a dwindling mercurial high" Okay obviously this is abt Art yearning for a whole ass married man. BUT ALSO the way this song is written just gives me such Art vibes especially with the whole comparing having an affair to drugs thing lmaaao but like when I was picking songs and this came up I KNEW this was downbad king art bigotti. (ps this is currently one of my top taylor songs so this is a great honor" Other notable lyrics that give me Art vibes: "A drug that only worked the first few hundred times." "You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else." "Look at this idiotic fool that you've made me."

LAURA CARROT AS ANTI-HERO "I should not be left to my own devices." Obviously this is Laura lmao she a baddie but she also is a criminal. And does nothing to better herself which honestly good for her bc same. She don't give a fuck and I admire that!! She owns being an anti-hero and she is so real for that. Also just like... the energy of this song truly gives me Laura vibes so there is also that. Other notable lyrics that give me Laura vibes: "One day I'll watch as you're leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming." "It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me." "The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out 'She's laughing up at us from hell.'"

GOLITAH GOTTIK AS MEAN "Well, you can take me down with just one single blow," I am going to be so real like 70% of me picking this song was the above lyric bc that's so god damn funny when u think of the bible story. but also. much like nezzer Goliath has been through too much... (see medical malpractice) but despite that he really do be out here just living his life and simply does not have time for the haters which is why i picked this song. Other notable lyrics that give me Goliath vibes: "Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me" "I just wanna feel okay again" "All you are is mean and a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life"

PA GRAPE AS THE BEST DAY "I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong." I'm gonna be so real my main reason for picking this song is bc it's literally written abt Taylor's mom so obviously in my fucked up little delusional mind Taylor Grape wrote it abt Pa Grape. I will not be taking any criticims at this time. That said, these lyrics are more like... how she would feel abt him vs ones that just exude his aura but yolo. Other notable lyrics that give me Taylor/Pa vibes: "I don't know why all the trees change in the fall, but I know you're not scared of anything at all." "Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay, but I know I had the best day with you today." "And I love you for giving me your eyes, for staying back and watching me shine."

SHANNON CEDRIC UNO SCALLION AS THE 1: "And it's another day waking up alone" Okay so OBVIOUSLY this started as a shitpost bc scallion number one is the 1. HOWEVER. upon reflecting on some of these lyrics I was like... damn i might b on to something. they're sort of just like depressing and cryptic enough, especially out of context and that just felt so perfect for mr uno. Other notable lyrics that give me Uno vibes: "And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow" "In my defense, I have none." "If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?" KILT BAGPIPE RHUBARB AS SHAKE IT OFF "I go on too many dates but I can't make them stay, at least that's what people say," Bro I will not fucking lie. As soon as I started this project I KNEW this mf had to be shake it off. A hot fuckin mess, slutting around, everyone finding him slightly offputting, but he is an unkillable yale man so he is fr just gonna shake it off. Also, so far this has easily been the one that I hard the hardest time narrowing it down to just four lyrics bc inside and out this song is Kilt all over lmaaaao (derogatory?) Just know that I decided to not put any lyrics from the chorus bc they all fit too well lmfao. Other notable lyrics that give me Kilt vibes: "But I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving." "I never miss a beat, I'm lightning on my feet." "but I'm just gonna shake to the fella over there with the hella good hair."

TOM GRAPE AS CLOSURE "I'm fine with my spite." okay this song is basically abt someone trying to give closure and this one mf being like nah, i'm good. which to me is so tom. he does NOT need that closure. he's good bein a spiteful little sour grape (which i love for him) but honestly king of not needing the mushy shit. ofc some of this is taken from his relationship with his estranged sister taylor grape but i mean how could i not. Other notable lyrics that give me Tom vibes: "Don't treat me like some situation that needs to be handled." "I know that it's over, I don't need your closure." "Reaching out across the sea that you put between you and me, but it's fake and it's oh so unnecessary."

EGG BOY AS IT'S NICE TO HAVE A FRIEND "'Wanna hang out?' Yeah, sounds like fun." okay so my otp: bathroom eggs ass was ofc fully thinking of that when i chose songs for each of them (see bathroom girls for a similar note) but also this song was specifically Egg Boy to me bc... u know what. he DOES think it's nice to have a friend. he's a silly goofy guy who loves his eggs and this song gives me energy of like childhood nostalgia and that is so him and bathroom girl coded to ME. Other notable lyrics that give me Egg Boy vibes: "School bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow." "Light pink sky up on the roof, sun sinks down, no curfew." "You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too."

VICKI CUCUMBER AS BETTER THAN REVENGE "I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at, honey." I MEEEEEEAN was there even really another option!! Miss steal your man had her man STOLE! a sneaky little bitch (affectionate). I truly feel like there is not much else to say bc the energy of this song is just SO vicki to me. Like this BELONGS to her. Much like Kilt it was SO HARD for me to narrow it down to just four lyrics but i hope u enjoy the ones a pick. Other notable lyrics that give me Vicki vibes: "She took him faster than you could say sabotage." "She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it" "You might have him, but I'll always get the last word." SCOOTER CARROT AS THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS "I'm shaking my head, I'm locking the gates" i have to be so fucking honest rn. I picked Scooter for this song bc this song makes me want to go to a boujee ass hollywood party and get into multiple fist fights with multiple a-listers and honestly i think I would like scooter to be there with me when i do it. He's got just the right amount of spite to help me out. not to mention in soc everyone thought he died so he's got some vengeance in him. me and moyer the destroyer kickin leo dicaprio's ass as god intended. Other notable lyrics that give me Scooter vibes: "This is why we can't have nice things, darling, because you break them, I had to take them away." "And so I took an axe to a mended fence." "Here's a toast to my real friends, they don't care about the he said, she said."

#new romantics #timeless #teardrops on my guitar #eyes open #i did something bad #you need to calm down #illicit affairs #anti-hero #mean #the best day #the 1 #shake it off #closure #it's nice to have a friend #better than revenge #this is why we can't have nice things

[benka79]

After Dark (We see the light)

Buddie Meta 911 503

Hello friends. Okay I told you this is gonna be a short meta bc we had just a little from Buddie at the end but it was very, very rich in visuals and body language.

Whispers: I just dissected the lockers buddie scene... 😏🔥

Just a few words about the kidnapping

I know we don't wanna talk about this ¡I don't wanna talk about this) but it was the main topic in this episode so I need to say a few words...

First of all, it was a very ugly and boring and weird way to show us this "storyline" as they described in the promo.

But let's rescue some interesting points:

-Another good neighbor helping by recording with her cellphone what was happening with Harry and his raptor. Again, neighbors saving lives just like they did in episode 502.

- Another hint to the idea that "no one is safe".

- Harry's kidnapping as a Foreshadow of Eddie being hostage in 507.

- The whole episode and the whole kidnapping process happened in the darkness. (Visual symbolism as I pointed in my previous meta here.)

- When Athena confronts Jeffrey she also makes a reference to darkness and light, and the firefam appeared illuminating the place. This is a reference about how the family they choose, the people they love, it's always there to support you and help you in bad moments too.

- When the woman asks Michael if Athena was his wife, he answers "Ex-wife", as a premonition of Eddiana break up at the end of the episode.

- The 118 unity assists a 911 call in which a man said his friend had been shot. This was a blatant reference to 413 and 414. The difference was the brachial artery.

- When the firefam goes to find Harry, we had a brief Buddie moment, again working together.

- Harry doesn't want to talk about his traumatic experience. (I talked about this in the previous metas with two characters with talking difficulties, as a Foreshadow for Harry.

- Maddie and her depression is taking relevance now that she thinks she is dangerous for her daughter. Imagine the pain she is handling thinking about this? I can't even...

The Light is Here

Time for some Buddie meta now.

First scene: the Lockers.

Buck sees Eddie coming out and smiles. This smile could mean a lot of things. But because this is a buddie meta, that smile is from someone that didn't expect find his crush still there. A nice surprise to see him again. Even when they were so many days together, you always celebrate the fact that you can have a little more of your crush, right?

Buck says he thought Eddie would be the first leaving because he had a little person waiting for him: Christopher.

The important thing here was the way Buck is talking to Eddie.

Look at him. He is smiling the whole time, eyes focused on Eddie. It reminded me that time in the kitchen. The fondness and the devotion towards Eddie are loud here. The longing, even when Buck implies "Hey Christopher is waiting for you, someone is waiting for you, that's awesome" it felt as is he wished he had that too.

But the smile, the soft gaze and even the voice he uses, is screaming Buck's yearn for Eddie.

Then we had Eddie avoiding Buck's gaze again.

Eddie had been thinking the way to break up with Ana. The seriousness in his face told us he had been thinking about it a lot. But even when he tried to find the word, he couldn't. He only stares at Buck to deliver a strong message.

When he mentions the name of Ana, sending Buck the idea of him breaking up right now, once he gets home.

The hidden message to Buck here is "Look, I'm following your advice, okay? I'm breaking up with her. I don't love her. And is happening now."

Then Eddie leaves and Buck's reaction is... priceless...

Buck is speechless. He can't believe it. First of all, because Eddie is following his advice. Eddie is not like Abby. Eddie is breaking up with her to release her. Eddie is honest. But then, he blinks nervously. Eddie breaking up with Ana means Eddie will be single again.

Remember season 4 opens with Buck saying "I don't tell people how I feel", who was these people? Well, his parents and Eddie. He even bought a book "5 languages of love" to learn how to express his feelings for Eddie. But Eddie started to date Ana, and every hint of being with him vanished. And that's why the sarcastic "What's Ana love language?" Full of Jealousy.

Now, Eddie is gonna be single again. And you can't tell me that reaction from Buck watching Eddie leave is not expressing exactly this: HOPE.

Even Athen mentions HOPE IN THE DARK in this episode.

Second scene: Honey, I'm Home

Suddenly, when the black out ends, we witnesses a continuum of parallels with people coming back home and family waiting for them. The first one is Hen, in video-call with her son. The kid is waiting for her after 5 days.

Then Athena's kids. Then Eddie having breakfast with Christopher and Ana...

And then we have Buck. And the contrast is HUGE. The writers made it blatant to show us BUCK IS ALONE. Even when he's dating Taylor, he is alone. Because Taylor is married with her job, and again, Buck is put to a side.

The irony in Buck's quote: "Honey, I'm home." Is representing his loneliness. His girlfriend is not what Buck wants for him. Buck wants to be seen (just like Norman) he wants to have what that old married gay couple had THAT'S LOVE. Buck wants his own beautiful love story. He wants a person who waits for him at home. That's why the yearn in his voice while he was talking with Eddie in the lockers. Maybe because he was imagining what wonderful would be to come back home together with Eddie and Christopher waiting for them.

This is the preamble to Buck/Taylor future break up. As I wrote in this spec post here.

So, Eddie already has the family he wants with Buck, but he doesn't know it yet, and Buck wants to have a lover who sees him for real. That person is Eddie, but he's not his lover, but his best friend. Well, not his lover yet.

Third scene: "I guess is your mess now."

Okay, we finally are in the Eddiana break up. I really felt sorry for her. Really. She was nervous at first, we can say it because her body language and the verbiage. Her body moved from side to side, trying to clean up the mess in the kitchen.

She knew what was going on. So she was the one saying it first. Eddie just added some few words about Christopher loving her, but the girl knew everything. That's why the talk was quick. There were no more words to say. She chose Spanish to say goodbye to him, because it was one of the things that they had in common, like a mechanism of defense. Then she says he is a great father. This is very important, because she knows Eddie was trying hard to fall in love with her because of Christopher.

But what caught my attention was Ana saying: "I guess it's your mess now" talking about the kitchen, but symbolizing the huge mess that will be Eddie from now on. And the mess is in the kitchen. The place in which Eddie and Buck flirted. The place in which Eddie looked at Buck so fondly as he interacted with Christopher.

That kitchen yells buddie. And it's a mess now. Because what is about to come my friends, is Eddie slowly realizing he is in love with Buck. Let's wait an see.

To Conclude:

Several storylines on the horizon, as the producers said. So we had Harry handling his post kidnapping trauma, maybe not talking about it.

Maddie and Chim story, with Maddie's depression and the seek of Maddie.

Buck's inner desire of being seen vs his relationship with a absent girlfriend.

Eddie rediscovering his sexuality through the realization of his own romantic feelings for Eddie, maybe will be expressed by a lot of Jealousy towards Taylor and some little fights over there. And Buck completely oblivious about Eddie's feelings.

Buenos Aires, October 6th 2021 9:21 AM

#buddie #buddie meta #503 #503 meta #5.03 #5x03 #911 #911 meta #evan buck buckley #eddie diaz #ana flores #taylor kelly #athena grant #harry grant #maddie buckley #chimney han

[ohtheseboysilove]

The sunflower always finds its sunlight V [Roger Taylor x F!Reader]

Words : 3, 300 K +

Warnings : language, alcohol,, angst, eating disorders, drugs

Summary :  Roger likes Reader since forever but the timing seems to just never be right for them. Reader is still haunted by her past relationship and kept rejecting Roger who know nothing about the abuses she had been victim of. After being rejected for the sixth time,  Roger thinks it’s time for him to move on…

🌼Requests are open🌼☀ Masterlist ☀

“You’re doing real great progress (Y/N), I will see you next week” You smiled timidly at your psychologist, shaking her hand before making your way out the room.

You sighed deeply when the loud wind blew in your hairs, helping you breathed easier. It had been a month since you stared your therapy to talk about the abuses you had been victim of and it was slowly but surely helping you. You only had four sessions so far, you were still being a bit shy about telling your deepest and darkest secrets to a total stranger – well, she weren’t anymore but still – but you couldn’t deny it was a real relief to have someone to speak and who wasn’t judging you.

A delicious smell was floating into your flat when you pushed the door open, noises and humming coming from the kitchen. Freddie, probably. He had an emergency keys and since he found out you were struggling again with your eating disorders, he spent most of dinner time with you, making sure you ate a minimum. If he is busy he would call you to check on you. You found that a bit annoying at the beginning, feeling like a child constantly watched but after a week or so, you were grateful, having someone who cared so much about your health, it was so nice, helping you to get better for sure.

“Honey, I’m home” You shouted with amusement as you dropped your bag and coat on a chair, kicking off your shoes and slipping into a comfy hoodie. You made your way to the kitchen to find Freddie wearing your apron, a big cooking-pot fuming on the baking tray. “Its smell heavenly Fred, what is it ?”

“Oh, hello my little sunflower ! I went to mom’s today and she was scared I would die of starvation without her home-cooking meals, so here” He pointed to the plate of curry rice on the counter.

You winced at the nickname sunflower, you had been called that since you were a kid due to your contagious and inexhaustible happy mood and its stick even during your teenagers years and then adult life. You were a little sunflower, always turned toward the sun to see the bright side of everything. But that was before. You lost this joy about half of your relationship with Donovan, mostly because of him, crushing every bit of happiness you could have left in your body. Around the same time, you lost your paternal grandmother so everyone assumed you were sad and hurt because of that and you didn’t contradict them, hiding the consequence of Donovan’s abuses on you. The truth was that you barely knew your grandmother but it had been the perfect cover. After that, you asked your friends to stop calling you like this, it wasn’t right anymore, it just sounded dumb.

“Don’t call me Sunflower Freddie, it’s not me anymore” You murmured as you took from the cupboard two clean plates.

“Nonsense, darling. I know you’re going through some tough times since few years but inside, your still our little sunflower (Y/N), you will be alright. I believe in you” He pinched your cheeks and chuckled when you thanked him, maybe a tear or two shinning into your eyes. “Dinner is ready ! And I’m fucking starving” He poured the hot vegetables on the rice as you grabbed the spicy chicken, taking everything on the living-room table.

“Bon appétit” You both giggled like kids at your dumb french accent and you dipped enthusiastically into your plate, letting the sweet and sour food melted into your mouth. “It’s so good Fred, you need to thank your mom for me”

“Indian food is the best comfort food, ever” He winked at you and stole some glances at your food, checking you were eating correctly. You were both chatting happily, telling about each other day like an old couple and it felt good to have someone around, loneliness weren’t your cup of tea anymore so you were definitively glad for a such good friend. “By the way, we’re going out tomorrow night”

“By we, you mean…?”

“You, Paul, Rog, Nina, Brian, Chrissie, and yes, even John and Veronica are in, amazing right ? Our little Ronny said she didn’t have a night of fun since the baby Deacon is born so it’s going to be fuuuuun” He pushed the empty plate in front of him and you did the same, only a quarter of the food was still inside, making Freddie hummed contently.

“Do I have any choice ?” He shook negatively his head and you sighed. “I guessed I need to find an outfit then, any suggestion ?”

You and Freddie spent the rest of the evening making a splendid mess in your closet, looking for the perfect outfit. You opted for a nice pair of stripped wide-leg trousers with a knotted flowery top with loose sleeves. The outfit was cute and hiding your too-thin-for-your-taste arms and also your ribs still visible from your drastic lost of weight from the past months, you were clearly doing better but you were still not comfortable enough to put tight and short clothes. But it was a beginning.

**

You clenched the black jeans jacket tighter around you as the fresh wind tickled your neck, the sun slowly starting his descent in the cloudless London’ sky. You were supposed to meet your friends in a new pub in Camden Town, you were rather excited, it had been a while since you all get out like in the good old days. You pushed the door opened and you were immediately greeted by the familiar smell of the cold cigarette and greasy foods. Pub life.

“Hi everyone !” You threw your jacket on an empty chair and sat without any grace, sighing with relief at the warmer temperature than outside.

“Ah my little sunflower is finally here ! We didn’t wait for you, we were starving !” Freddie exclaimed before biting eagerly into his burger. “But I ordered you a beer, unfortunately you took to much to time so I had to drink it before its getting warm” He shrugged and you chucked softly, looking the menu, your mouth drooling over all the foods on the table.

“Oh, we’re allow again to call you sunflower now ?” You curled a crooked smile to Roger and stole a salty chips from his plate.

“He didn’t ask my opinion about it” You stated and quickly looked back at the menu, still a bit weird to have an eye contact with the drummer.

The day you almost confessed your feelings to him was a month ago and both of you acted like nothing happened. Nina was still in the picture, siting cosily next to Roger. The blond had feel horribly guilty after your little conversation, he had act like no one was already in his life, begging you to confess your feelings, completely disrespecting Nina, he promised to himself that won’t happen again. She was his girlfriend and he would act like a good boyfriend, pushing aside his feelings for you, he couldn’t wait forever for you.

“We need to choose wich club we going after” Veronica wiggled her eyebrows with excitement as her husband rolled his eyes, not seeming really into going out after dinner. “I heard the one you in Soho is really cool, it’s rock music and it look great”

“What about the gay club near Leicester square ?” Brian scoffed at Freddie’ suggestion, his cheeks flushing lightly.

“I don’t go in gay club anymore, it’s...too wild for me” He murmured as Chrissie cooed at his intense blushing.

“Ah poor Bri ! You still didn’t forget this crazy evening ? You need to take this stick out of your ass my darling” Everyone giggled as you all remembered the last time you were at a gay club and Brian had been awfully popular, men sticking around him like flies. He had been adorably cute, gently pushing away every man with a nervous smile when some hands were a bit too adventurous. Roger, the usually most popular – after Freddie, of course – was jealous but never stopped teasing his friend about it.

You left the table few minutes to order a plate of sweet potatoes chips and a fresh beer before sitting back, the discussion of the club was finish, Veronica had win. You took a sip of your drink and thanked the waiter when he brought your meal, your fingers immediately dipping into the chips.

“Hey (Y/N), I saw you yesterday !” You plunged your greasy chip into the ketchup and shoved it into your mouth, an eyebrow curiously lifted. “I was just leaving my yoga class in Hammersmith and you were just entering this psychologist Cabinet at the corner of the main street, I was surprise, didn’t know you were seeing a psy” Nina commented before sipping her coke through a straw.

You almost chocked onto your chip, blush creeping on your face. You looked at her with round eyes, not understanding why she thought sharing this information with everyone was a good idea. It was private and personal and no one knew before now.

“You’re seeing a psychologist ?” Roger asked incredulously, his spoonful of cheesecake hanging in the air.

Every pair of eyes were on you, an awkward silence suffocating the table. You swallowed your food and babbled some lame excuse : “Hum, yeah...I’m...I needed to talk about some hum issues to someone, so yeah”

“About what ? What is going on ? Are you okay ?” You knew Roger was just acting as a worry friend but it was fucking private.

“Roger, I don’t think (Y/N) want to expose to everyone her personal reasons, just drop it” The soft but firm voice of Deaky delivered you from these three longest minutes of your life.

You nodded timidly and flashed to the bassist a grateful smile before bowing down your head into your plate, chewing absent-mindedly a chip. You could feel Roger’s gaze on you, he hated secrets, especially between the two of you and how close you were. If only he knew all the things your hid from him for years…

 **

You were slightly tipsy from the beers you had and you were sipping your second fruity, sweet cocktail which Chrissie placed in your hand ten minutes ago as she went on the dance-floor, Veronica by her side. The proximity of all these bodies wasn’t your favourite thing, in fact it was making you rather uncomfortable, that why you were sitting in a booth next to Deaky and Brian, both of them looking at their wives with amusement.

You felt so awkward, your spine shivering every time you made an eye contact with a man, quickly focusing back on your sparkly drink. God it was going to be a long night.

But thanks to the alcohol, after few more drinks and several shots with the girls, you were feeling absolutely free, dancing like you were the only person in the room. And you kept drinking, dancing, drinking, dancing until your stomach started churning. You stumbled to the toilet and splashed fresh water on your sweaty face, shutting your eyes close.

“You’re okay hon ?” Nina gently asked as she was bended against the counter, her hands making a straight line of coke with her credit card.

“m feeling sick” You slurred as she sniffed the drug with an old note rolled like a straw, throwing her head back in pleasure. You looked at her as she wiped the rest of the white powder off her nose and blinked several times, shaking energetically her hands.

“Too much drinking hum ? I’m not very good at holding my liquor so...” She motioned to the little bag of coke with a grin. Her pupils were already starting to flare as the drug hit her system. “Want some, hon ? Already done coke before, right ?” She asked with a lifted brow.

No. You never did cocaine. You had try few little pills which had make you all giddy and excited but you never went into hard drugs.

“Roger didn’t want to do some tonight, don’t why, he had been weird all night” She added with a complaining tone as she took out her red lipstick from her hand bag, sliding it onto her puckered lips. “The other night he took a line directly from between my breasts and god I swear it was the hottest thing a man ever did to me and after that–“

“I want a line, yes !” You said a bit more louder than you should have but Nina didn’t even notice, too busy giggling excitedly. Why you said yes to the girl ? Maybe because you wanted her to shut up. Or maybe because you thought Roger would find you more interesting if you take hard drugs like a rock star. Completely stupid but when Nina started straightening the line, you didn’t stop her. You were also a bit curious to see how you were going to react to the famous white powder. And the thought of forgetting about yours problems for few hours was really appealing too.

“Here, hon” She smiled sweetly at you and handed you the rolled note. “You can finish, I’m going to dance, too much energy now !” She shook her head with excitement and left you alone.

You nervously grabbed the note and placed it in your nostril before sniffing the drug with a trembling hand. The effect was practically immediate as you scrunched your nose, your eyelashes batting furiously.

“Wow” You murmured as you looked at yourself into the mirror, feeling like someone just injected you a litre of coffee directly into your veins.

You felt electricity ran through your body and you quickly exited the bathroom, walking or rather bouncing, straight to Veronica and Chrissie.

“(Y/N) ! It’s good to see you having fun !” Veronica yelled to cover the insanely loud music.

“I never felt so happy than before !” You yelled back as you swayed your hips outrageously, completely inhibited to the peoples around, the only thing that was mattering was the jolt of energy flying through your system. You were on the top of the world. “This is awesome !” You shouted as you started jumping around before bumping into a man who catch you before you ridiculously fell on the floor. “I’m so sorry” You giggled against his chest, as he shook his head with a hungry smile. Usually the type of man who disgust you but right now, you were just thrilled to have someone to share you overwhelming bolt of energy.

“No problem, doll. Wanna dance ?” He swung you around, hands falling around your waist and bringing you close to him. You closed your eyes and let the music directing your moves, grinding against the brunette. “So pretty, doll. So hot, god, I want you so badly” You smiled wider when his lips started trailing kisses on the delicate skin of your neck, teeth nibbling filthy into your lob ear, making you giggle even more.

Everything felt so good, all your problems were out of your mind and at this precise moment nothing could stop you. Well, except the upset Roger who was making his way to you, the muscles of his jaw twitching under the anger crushing him at this moment. Chrissie was next to him, pointed you with a finger, her face painted with worry.

“Roggie !” You gushed when he reached you, his hand immediately tugging you into his embrace. “I’m having so much fun tonight ! I even make a new friend !” You babbled excitedly, looking at the other man with wide and excited eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing (Y/N) ? You completely drunk, come on” The drummer grabbed your hand and the brunette you were dancing with, tried to interfere but as soon as he saw Roger’s death glare, he walked away. Smart guy.

“Hey! I was dancing with this block !” You weakly protested, the negative vibes emanating from your friend was making you frown. Why he wasn’t having fun like you ? “Rog, I want to dance” You tried to escape his grip but he didn’t budge, kept dragging you behind him like a rag doll. He brought you on the terrace of the club, the wind making you shivered surprisingly. It helped you cool down a bit but your whole body was still animated by an inexhaustible energy, your eyes couldn’t focus on one thing.

“What the fuck did you drink (Y/N) ? I didn’t saw you that drunk since, at least, two years” He took a big drag on his cigarette, looking at you with his big eyes but your gaze were on his sparkly, pink shoes, stupid giggles escaping your lips. The drummer sighed annoyingly at your state and grabbed your face, his fingers holding loosely your chin. “Why did you drink so much ? Is this because of the same reason you’re seeing a psycho–“ He knitted his brows together and took a closer look at your dilated pupils and breathed angrily : “You’re bloody high ?”

“So what ?” You teased with a grin, bopping his nose with your shaky finger. “m’ having fun. Coke is fun” You whispered with toothy smile.

“You took coke ? Are you insane ?” Roger’s eyes widened at your revelation but his upset tone made you take a step back, lips curling down in a grimace. “Why the hell did you take cocaine ? I told you to never touch that shit !”

“Are you mad at me ?” You murmured weakly as the high of energy was quickly going down. Suddenly it wasn’t fun anymore, you felt too nervous and your breathing was...weird, your body trembling as you were experienced the bad side of taking drug.

“Of course I fucking mad at you (Y/N) ! You can’t just tell drug and no tell anyone, it’s dangerous !”

“So you can have fun and take drugs with Nina but when it’s about me, you’re angry with me ? You can sniffed coke from her fucking breasts and have mind-blowing sex but as soon as I start having fun, you stop me and yelled at me !” You burbled with difficulties as your lips felt incredibly heavy to move, anger and sadness mixing together as Roger pinched his lips. “Fuck you Roger”

The blond’s gaze softened at your words, that wasn’t the reaction you were excepting but at this point, nothing really mattered anymore, you just wanted to go home and stopped fucking blinking your eyelashes like a crazy.

“I’m trying to look after you (Y/N), always” He murmured with a tired smile but the picture of him and Nina, tangled between the bed sheet was making you panting, the descent you were living was quite awful and you weren’t feeling good at all. “Where are you going ?” He watched you walked away, your arms clenching on your hand bag as you were going home, your brain completely disconnected from the reality.

“It’s not your job to look after me, I’m a big girl” The blond stretched a hand and grabbed your arm but you swatted his frame away from you, stubbornly refusing his help. “Go back to Nina Roger, she’s your girlfriend, not me. You should take care of her instead, I don’t need you” You spat and you immediately felt your heart ached at Roger’s broken features, looking more hurt than upset by yours words.

“You’re the one who didn’t want me (Y/N), don’t try to turn me into the bad guy in this story” He replied as exhaustion and sadness washed over his face.

You didn’t replied and continued your way on the pavement, walking without any idea where you were heading to but you needed to get away from him. His last sentence was played on a loop in your mind, eyes watering at the thought that he was right. You rejected him, so many time and still, he was here for you even after all you did to him. You were stupid and a perfect asshole but right now, the shame and pride weren’t simply not allowing you to turn around and go apologise to him.

You didn’t need him, right ?

**

tag list : @amy-brooklyn99 @mercurycrowley @vanitysfairr @loveandbeloved29 @luvborhap @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @geek-and-proud @fearless2tobeme @chlobo6 @stormtrprinstilettos @mrsmazzello @neckfruit@khaleesi2017 @rogertaylorscar @jennyggggrrr

#roger taylor x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor fic #queen #roger taylor x you

[crawlingforyou]

So, after listening to Lover a thousand times, I finally made a list of the things I noticed on every song, the little details I loved about them, and just about anything going through my mind while the song played, enjoy:

Taylor's laugh!!! and the way the rhythm goes down and then up after the bridge, and the way she just changes the way she says the words like sometimes she says indifference in a way and then another way? its just magical.

The way she lowers her voice in "i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone", the way she says "you'll be the last to kNOW" its just magical, and how she screams "I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you" and DAMN, I bristle with her voice in "he looks up, grinning like a devil"

The way she hits those notesssss, the way the song just feels like a concert and a crowd singing back to her, and how she isn't ashamed to just say she wants someone forever, the parallel between the story of us and Lover about the seat, how in the end she just adds "darling"

"When everyone believes ya, what's that like?, I'm so sick of running as fast as I can, wondering if id get there quicker if I was a man" the way she says Saint Tropez, and bitches, the background vocals that just go up and then down, like she says "coming at me again" really loud and then " if I was a man" lower, its just amazing. the last part that goes like an echo of her voice, just. majestic.

The way the song doesn't actually end, it just leaves you there hanging like waiting for something to happen and how it goes perfectly with the lyrics, and how it feels like a heartbeat with anxiety going really fast, the lyrical transition between "who could stay" and "you could stay"

The way she sings slow and then really fast. The way she says "boy I understand!" and "I mean" in the background,  "I whisSPer in the dark", the last part where she says "Skipping down 16th Avenue, baby” in the backkkkk

The entire metaphor is just majestic. "It’s been a long time coming boy" before the chorus? damn. the lyric "you win stupid prices" the way she sings "who seems to care" and "boys will be boys then"  and the brIDGE, the way the last words are in the background its so majestic. The melody after the bridge and before the chorus, and then the scream!

The thing that happened with the guitar at the beginning! "now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe" the countdown in the chorus is magical, and the way the first time its "kiss me" and then its "kiss you" this lyrics "Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws we wouldn't be standing here so tall, so" the way he says "ahhh" in a very calm voice between the 2nd pre-chorus and the chorus. the musical change before the bridge, the way she says "Uh huh" after the bridge, the voice she does in the chorus after the bridge that is so slow and then very fast.

the lyrics "We were a fresh page on the desk filling in the blanks as we go", The musical change after she says "I hope I never lose you", its amazinggggg, and when she starts "baby I get mystified" and the voiceeeee, she singing so high and then goes very low saying "id never walk Cornelia st again", the ways she just knows when exactly to repeat the word "Cornelia st" and have it sound so magical and not repetitive, and she says it so beautifully. the way the rhythm just goes so amazing with her voice in the pre-chorus. the background voices in the "years ago, we were just inside" the musical change in the last chorus that goes from "oh never again" so low and the so much stronger "aND BABY I GET..." the "I don't wanna lose you" background voices

Just, the intro! you have to listen to it with headphones to know what I mean. the musical change afer "and you're not my baby" the PIANOOOO right before she says "its death by a thousand cuts" and it just keeps ringing to keep you rising your heartbeat. the way she just talks to the traffic lights, the lyrics "But if the story’s over, why am I still writing pages?" and the birDGEEEEE. its. just. amazing. how it just ends with "I'll be alright, its just a thousand cuts"

The beginning that had us all thinking it was Joe, the way she says "Tennessee whiskey" and "home is where the heart is" the entire London vocabulary on the song!, the voices in "Babes, don't threaten me with a good time", the voice she makes when she sings "wanna be with you"

Its a song that feels disguised in hope but its actually hopeless, it's like a scream for help she can’t actually make, and the chorus the dixie chicks do, is just amazing. "I know delusion when I see it in the mirror" the way she says "neon", and how you can just feel the heartbreak in her voice when she sings the bridge. its. just. so. strong.

The saxophoneeeee. just. yeah. the way she plays with her voice in "I cant talk to you when you're like this" and in "they all warned us about times like this" the way she says "we'd still workship this loo-oo-oo-ove" and then she switches to "you can't talk to me when I'm like this", How in the bridge it just feels like the song will go faster but then it doesn't and its amazing

the way she pauses when she says "can you just not....", how fast she talks and leaves wondering if we said the right lyrics, how the song does a strong hit before the oooh, ohhhh, ohhhh, how in headphones the "glaaad" just splits in both ears amazingly. of course, the lyrics "shade never made anybody less gay"

the way she sings "Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves", how she pauses after every word is just magnificent. the musical change in the chorus, so beautifully made, how she is just begging him "just don't go" the way she says "below" in verse 2, so pretty, i can relate so much to the lyrics and how she is to blame and she doesn't want him to leave, its just magical how she can express that feeling so well, "Tell me that I'm all you want, Even when I break your heart", the masterpiece of music that ends the song, its so profound.

the drummersssss, sound so pretty, and the bak voices singing "and there's a lot of cool chicks out there" how the music stops while she’s singing "I promise that'll you’ll never find another like.." and then it explodes in the Meee-eee, Brendon's voice is so magical and fits so well with Taylors and with the song.  the "Hey kids, spelling is FUN" fits so well with the song, I know some people don't like it but the song without just sounds so empty in that part, it doesn't feel right without it.

So this song took me a while to appreciate, the rhythm is so angelical and beautifully made, and the way Taylor’s voice just go with the rhythm is so amazing, its like she wrote it with the rhythm already on her mind, and its so simple but yet so complicated, and also the saxophone in the middle, and the bells and how she also talks about a weeding refering to the rice on the ground

it starts with one of the most magestic lyrics i've heard "My love was as cruel as the cities I lived in, Everyone looked worse in the light" SO. WELL. WRITTEN. the way the background voices sing "daylight" with her its so pretty. the way her voice changes when she says "It's brigter now, now", the backgrounds in this song are one of the best in my opinion, the bridge? background voices rule the entire thing. and of course the majestic line "I once believed love would be burning red, But it's golden" ad well, we can't forget Taylor's voice at the end just summing up the entire album in he best sentence she could ever think of "I wanna be defined by the things that I love, Not the things I hate, Not the things I'm afraid of,  Or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love"

PS. The pictures are not mine, i founf them online, credits to whoever made them

#Lover #Taylor Swift #Tracklist #Opinion #Hope you like it #Also hope you actually read it #If you find the author of these images let me know #they're awesome

[poppinsx]

a comprehsive list of the best lyrics in each taylor swift song (my opinions <3) since fearless:

jump then fall: but i’ll hold you through the night until you smile

untouchable: untouchable like a distant diamond sky

come in with the rain: i know you by heart, and you don’t even know where i start

superstar: i’m invisible and everyone knows who you are

other side of the door: and the faded picture of a beautiful night

fearless: you take my hand and drag me head first, fearless

fifteen: when you’re fifteen and your first kiss makes your head spin ‘round (how did she know!!)

love story: i was a scarlet letter

hey stephen: all the other girls, well, they’re beautiful, but would they write a song for you? 

white horse: this is a big world, that was a small town

you belong with me: i know your favorite songs and you tell be ‘bout your dreams

breathe: but it’s killing me to see you go after all this time

tell me why: why do you have to make me feel small so you can feel whole inside? 

you’re not sorry: and you got your share of secrets and i’m tired of being last to know 

the way i loved you: and my heart’s not breaking cause i’m not feeling anything at all

forever & always: were you just kidding? 

the best day: don’t know if snow white’s house is near or far away

change: it’s hard to fight when the fight ain’t fair

mine: braced myself for the goodbye ‘cause that’s all i’ve ever known

sparks fly:  my mind forgets to remind me, you’re a bad idea

back to december: it turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you

speak now: i lose myself in a daydream

dear john: i lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday

mean: you have pointed out my flaws again as if i don’t already see them

the story of us: you held your pride like you should’ve held me

never grow up: remember that she’s getting older too

enchanted: my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again

better than revenge: no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity 

innocent: today is never too late to be brand new 

haunted: something keeps me holding onto nothing 

last kiss: i never planned on you changing your mind // i’ll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep and i’ll feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe (this song is too much of a masterpiece to choose)

long live: i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

state of grace: we learned to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts

red: moving on from him is impossible when i still see it all in my head

treacherous: i can’t decide if it’s a choice getting swept away

ikywt: and the saddest fear comes creeping in, that you never loved me

all too well: you call me up again just be break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest (naturally)

22: it’s miserable and magical

i almost do: i can’t say hello to you and risk another goodbye

wanegbt: this is exhausting (hehe)

stay stay stay: you took the time to memorize me

the last time: all roads, they lead me here

holy ground: for the first time, i had something to lose

sad beautiful tragic: you’ve got you demons and darling they all look like me // silence, train runs off its tracks

the lucky one: you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used

everything has changed: all i know is pouring rain

starlight: we could get married, have ten kids, and teach them how to dream

begin again: thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end

welcome to new york: kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats

blank space: stolen kisses, pretty lies

style: could end in burning flames of paradise

out of the woods: the rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming color

ayhtdws: i’ve been picking up the pieces of the mess you made 

shake it off: and to the fella over there with the hella good hair 

i wish you would: i wish you knew that i miss you too much to be mad anymore

bad blood: bandaids don’t fix bullet holes

wildest dreams: someday when you leave me i bet these memories follow you around

how you get the girl: i want you for worse or for better

this love: this love left a permanent mark

i know places: love’s a fragile little flame, it could burn out 

clean: just because you’re clean don’t mean you don’t miss it

ready for it: burton to this taylor

end game: your handprint’s on my soul

i did something bad: you gotta leave before you get left

don’t blame me: i would fall from grace just to touch your face

delicate: are you ever dreaming of me?

look what you made me do: i’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

so it goes: you did a number on me but honestly baby, who’s counting? 

gorgeous: whiskey on ice, sunset and vine 

getaway car: but with three of us, honey, it’s a sideshow

king of my heart: say you fancy me, not fancy stuff 

dancing with our hands tied: i’m the mess that you wanted

dress: even in my worst of times, you could see the best in me

tiwwchnt: feeling so gatsby for that whole year (bonus points for the haha i can’t even say it with a straight face)

call it what you want: i brought a knife to a gun fight 

new year’s day: please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere

i forgot that you existed: it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

cruel summer: he looks up grinning like a devil (!!)

lover: with every guitar string scar on my hand

the man: they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this i deserve

the archer: i’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you

i think he knows: lyrical smile, indigo eyes

miss americana: american glory faded before me

paper rings: the moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met

cornelia street: that's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

death by a thousand cuts: but if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages? 

london boy: don’t threaten me with a good time (also the intro, ofc)

soon you’ll get better: desperate people find faith, so now i pray to Jesus too

false god: you’re the west village

you need to calm down: shade never made anybody less gay!

afterglow: fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

me: i know i never think before i jump

it’s nice to have a friend: you’ve been stressed out lately, yeah, me too

daylight: the luck of the draw only draws the unlucky

(update 1/14/21)

the 1: you know the greatest loves of all time are over now

cardigan: trying to change the ending, peter losing wendy

the last great american dynasty: and in a feud with her neighbor, she stole his dog and dyed it a key-lime green

exile: you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs

my tears ricochet: when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball: the masquerade revelers

seven: please picture me in the weeds before i learned civility

august: you weren’t mine to lose (but also, just the entire song)

this is me trying: you’re a flashback in a film reel 

illicit affairs: a dwindling mercurial high

invisible string: one single thread of gold tied me to you

mad woman: it’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together

epiphany: sir, i think he’s bleeding out

betty: i don’t know anything, but i know i miss you

peace: all these people think love’s for show, but i would die for you in secret

hoax: you knew you won so what’s the point of keeping score?

the lakes: i want auroras and sad prose

willow: life was a willow and it bent right to your wind

champagne problems: she would’ve made such a lovely bride, what a shame she’s fucked in the head

gold rush: at dinner parties i call you out on your contrarian shit

tis the damn season: to leave the warmest bed i’ve ever known

tolerate it: i know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it

no body, no crime: good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy (honorable mention to the way taylor says “just” in “she thinks i did it but she just can’t prove it)

happiness: i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool

dorothea: you’re a queen selling dreams, selling makeup and magazines

coney island: do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? 

ivy: your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, tarnished but so grand

cowboy like me: forever is the sweetest con

long story short: long story short, i survived

marjorie: you loved the amber skies so much

closure: i’m fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles

evermore: barefoot in the wildest winter

right where you left me: she’s still twenty-three inside her fantasy

it’s time to go: that old familiar body ache that snaps from the same little breaks in your soul

#taylor swift #red #speak now #reputation #1989 #fearless #lover #folklore #evermore #this took me longer than it should have

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Proud

A/N: This was prompted here on tumblr and was written pre-mural-gate :p 

In all honesty it's a lil rushed and on the short side since I wanted to get it OUT (pun intended) before the actual 4.26. Thus this has had no BETA, but I do hope it's decent!!

Summary: A fictionalized AU version of what went down on 4.26 2019.

TW: Anxiety

Read it on Ao3 or on wattpad

--

I'm gay.

I'm gay.

I'm gay.

The first time Taylor Swift said those words out loud she'd just turned 14 and she could hear her own heart beat in her ears, so loud that it drowned out her words.

Those scary, stigmatized words that she'd been planning to let pass over her lips for months by the time they actually did.

Now, all these years later all she can remember from around the time of her 14th birthday is the day after her the party. It was overwhelming nausea, it was shaking hands and then hugs, a lot of hugs, most of them from her mother who'd always been supportive and proud of Taylor for being herself; no matter what that had meant over the years.

Andrea is standing beside Taylor now as the 29-year old looks over her appearance in the mirror and presses her stubborn, unruly hair down for the fifth time in just over a minute. Her mom's smile is encouraging, "You look great, honey." She says placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "You look great and you can do this."

"Thanks mo-" Taylor begins only to be cut off by the sound of her phone ringing in the back of her jeans' pocket.

Fishing the phone out Taylor glances at the screen and smiles, "it's Austin." She announces, accepting the call and putting the device to her ear. "Hi!"

"Hey! How are you doing so far?" Her little brother asks gently and Taylor's smile dies from her lips as if on command. "I'm okay, I'm waiting for Karlie..." "She's not there?" "She and dad just took Joe for a walk..." "Lousy timing!" "No it's okay, I'm okay...And mom's here." "Okay...Teffy?" "Mhm?" "I love you and I'm damn proud of you."

"Thanks," I love you too!"

The two have barely hung up when Karlie comes into the room in the company of Joe the dog and Scott Swift.  Karlie immediately takes Joe's leash off and then makes her way right to Taylor who has now sat down at the piano.

As her girl walks over Taylor has the time to observe her own fingers on the piano keys and to will her hands (to only moderate success) to stop shaking. She takes a deep breath and looks up at the clock, five minutes til midnight. Exhaling unevenly Taylor lets her finger dance over the piano keys without pressing them down, just to check she has it all memorized.

Just then Karlie is there, close, with her, wrapping her arms around her fiancée. "How are you doing, Daisy?" She whispers softly and Taylor feels herself tense up at the uncomfortable question. "I'm fine, I've got this..." She says and wishes she could've sounded more confident. "Damn right you do," Karlie assures her, "but I'm gonna need you to talk to me because I can hear in your voice that you're not okay..." The younger woman pushed. "...I'm...nervous." Taylor admits reluctantly, the statement sounds almost like a question and her voice is small. "Awww," Karlie pulls her closer and brushes some hair away from Taylor's neck with her nose, kissing the now exposed skin almost teasingly, "My baby still gets nervous?"

"Extra, tonight..." Taylor leans her head back and into Karlie, wanting the embrace to protect her from the mounting anxiety. "What if they figure it out, Karls?" She mumbles and feels her heart fall into her stomach once again as a new wave of nausea hits. More kisses, "if they do they do." Karlie says simply and there is a trademark Sunshine smile in her tone. Taylor twists her engagement ring nervously and Karlie rubs her back in reassurance.

"Baby, you're being the bravest possible version of yourself and I'm so damn proud of you!"

"I hate to interrupt this supportive moment," Tree's voice, (filled with so much genuine empathy and care that Taylor wants to cry from the overwhelming love in the room) sounds from the couch, "But that's two minutes to midnight, T."

"Okay," Taylor agrees a little breathlessly, slipping her ring off and handing it to Karlie before she mounts her phone atop the piano,  in the optimal angle to record her face and the keys as she plays. Karlie scurries away and collects Joe before joining the others on the couch.

"If this is too much, we can always take the backup." Tree reminds Taylor who only shakes her head.

They've been planning this for weeks now and she won't back out at the last second. There will be plenty of time to play In Your Eyes later after all, it will be the second single, but it shouldn't be the song played or released tonight.

"Okay, the post is up and it's midnight, go!" Tree says and Taylor presses record on her phone to officially start the Live video now streaming on her website where the countdown used to be only moments ago.

"Hi guys!" Taylor exclaims and waves at the camera, hoping her smile doesn't look as nervous as it feels.

To all the world it looks as if Taylor is sitting alone in the living room, at her piano, everyone watching her right now have no idea of the entire support system hidden from view. The support system of four of Taylor's favorite people on earth, only one of them secretly so.

She swallows, "So I figured before the new song goes up on all the streaming platforms I'd play it for you, just you and me, how does that sound?" She pauses for a moment as the comments pop up and she can't help but smile.

"Okay so the song is called Wedding Bells and it's off of my new album Proud that's gonna be out on July 13th, I am super excited for you to hear it!"

--

February 2017

"Karlie," Taylor said, exasperated and not even close to smiling. "Why are you trying to make this into a joke when I clearly don't find it fucking funny?"

These words were causing Karlie to seriously consider how much biting off her own tongue would actually hurt.

"Hey," she tried softly instead, "hey...I'm sorry, okay? I'm just trying to make this a little easier."

"But it's not easy baby, it's not!" Taylor protested and tears were running down her cheeks now.

"Believe me I know, but Taylor, please, I can't have you freak out like this, I-"

"I'm not freaking out," Taylor said, a little calmer now, wiping her tears and biting her lip to stop the new wave threatening to fall from her eyes.

"So what you're telling me," she asked slowly, seemingly fighting to keep her voice calm. "Is that you're going to pretend to marry him?"

At those absurd words being spoken aloud Karlie's already fragile, tired heart shattered into a million pieces, Taylor wasn't even looking at her anymore.

The singer had spun around and started aimlessly rearranging the dishes in the sink in an attempt to find something to do with her hands, probably.

"Okay, first of all," Karlie said as she walked over to her girlfriend, prepared to wrap her arms around the shorter woman. "The keyword here is pretend."

Karlie pulled Taylor close as she spoke and pressed her lips softly to the side of the singer's neck. Something that'd usually appease her, not this time though. Taylor (likely realizing what Karlie had in mind) jerked her head unceremoniously to the side, away from Karlie's approaching lips and causing a cup she'd been holding to fall back into the sink with a jarring crash.

The model hadn't noticed before, but now she could plainly both see and feel that Taylor was shaking and when she turned back towards Karlie the familiar blue eyes were flaring with...something. Anger? Hurt? Frustration?

Karlie caught herself lowering her own gaze at the sight; Taylor was clearly taking this badly. That had of course been expected, but Karlie was starting to get genuinely scared now, Taylor was even more upset than she'd feared.

"Well," She snapped, brusquely backing out of Karlie's attempted embrace and causing her arms to fall awkwardly to her sides, "We said it wouldn't go that far, we always said...." She seemed to lose her words, or her train of thought, or her sanity...

Karlie looked up to meet those eyes, dark with hurt now.

"Tay," She tried, but her girlfriend shook her head, her eyes almost overflowing with held back tears now.

"I just always thought-"

"I know..."

--

Taylor suppresses the rest of the unpleasant memory, she looks back up smiling at the camera again as she starts playing.

What if they figure it out? They won't though, not for another month and that's how she wants it, for tonight she's just proud of herself for taking the first step on this last bit of road. It's been a long walk, but just like they promised each other that night in the back of a car, Karlie squeezing her hand, they've never stopped walking it together, not even for a second and soon everyone else will get to march with them too.

There may not be a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, but there will be happiness. Happiness and freedom for her and for Karlie and that will be worth all of this, the tears and the fear. Maybe it's the fact that she took such a hefty doze of anxiety suppressors for this but Taylor isn't scared anymore, not one bit, instead she's proud!

A/N: Happy 4.26, let's hope we all survive!

#anxiety tw #homophobia tw #gaylor swift #kaylor #kaylor fanfiction #ts7 #tedde writes fics

[abdicatedarchive]

discussion boards || juliette and daisy

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: freshens healthy restaurant // early march 2021.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: juliette x daisy.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: none.

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: TBD

Sitting at a table, Daisy was somewhat regretting her decision to leave her homework until so late. While she was very close to being done, it was due in class in a few hours and she would really rather just be sitting in her room eating popcorn and watching Bridgerton or some other trashy-yet-addicting Netflix show. She had decided that the best way to get herself through the final push was to eat at the same time (she was extremely food-motivated), thus her working away at her paper while stuffing food in her mouth. Looking up, she saw a classmate looking around, presumably for a place to start. “You can sit here if you want,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. “Unless you chew loudly. We’re humans, not cows.”

Juliette had been very selective about where she went on campus to avoid potentially running into anyone she didn't want to see. That list was extraordinarily long ever since she found out that her ex was here, she was doing her best to avoid all of her friends as well. Best to keep things secret. Sadly, there was no better dining option than to go to freshens, because neither of them usually would be caught dead there. Juliette was a junk food fiend. She saw her classmate, a girl she had noted was very loud, and the first words that came out of the other girl's mouth just affirmed that for Juliette. "Luckily for you, I am a very silent chewer" she said softly with a smile as she sat down across from her. Juliette pulled out her book out of instinct, she was very used to eating alone after last semester when she made so few friends that she had to transfer here. "You finishing up that paper?" Juliette asked as she put the lid on her salad to mix it up.

She thought that she recognized the girl from class. Jules or Jane or something like that. She also thought that she had heard some gossip about her, but she heard so much gossip and did not have the attention span to keep track of who was in what trouble or who was sleeping with who’s girlfriend. “Good. Then you can sit.” Daisy said, taking another sip of her smoothie as the girl took a seat, before asking if she was finishing her paper. “Yeah. It is a stupid paper anyway, but whatever. It will get done.” She eyed the book that Juliette had in her hands. “What are you, a book nerd?” She asked. It did not look like the kind of book that got assigned for class.

"A little bit yeah, this is What we talk about when we talk about love by Raymond Carver" said Juliette as she looked at the dog eared beat up copy in front of her. Juliette opened up the mixed salad and took a bite before talking again. "It's a comfort read, if you've ever seen 2012's Stuck in Love, it's mentioned in there a lot" the girl added, not sure if the fun facts were really going to help her. She also definitely could have left out the release date, but it was natural to her. Juliette knew if Daisy had a problem with that, she would definitely say something.

Listening as the girl rattled off the information on the book she was reading, Daisy just stared at her. Definitely the book nerd type, but in an almost endearing way. Not the ‘I read books, therefore, I am smarter than you’ type. Also the awkward type. Which could mean that she could be the useful type. “Never seen it,” Daisy said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Are you the Encyclopedia Brown of books in general, or is it just books about love?”

Juliette smiled and looked down a little before looking back up, the other girl was a good kind of intimidating. "Mostly books about love, and then a healthy blend of queer and feminist lit" said the girl as she took a sip of her water. Being at college meant she could just say whatever she wanted without judgement, and it was a new but captivating feeling. That she could just be herself. Every conversation was a new level of freedom. "Do you read for fun? It's kind of hard when there's so much stuff assigned all the time" she asked.

Daisy nodded. Yep. Definitely the good kind of nerd. The girl was also obviously one of those sweet ones that were still somewhat shocked by whatever freedoms university life allowed them. It was adorable. “Does that include Virginia Woolf, or is that too hipster for you?” She asked, and then shrugged at the girl’s question. “I like reading. I’m in the English literature department, so I’d have picked the wrong department if I didn’t like to read.” Then, she sighed. “I do miss me a good trashy romance novel, though. They never seem to assign them.”

"I enjoy Virginia Woolf from time to time, I try to get a few different view points just for my own education" said Juliette with a little shrug. She was happy to hear that she had met a fellow English major, the more people in her department that she got to know meant that getting help if she needed it later would be more easy access. Juliette laughed at the girl's joke, and began to nod her head at the trashy romance novel comment, "I don't know why they don't. I think that the whole class would pay a lot more attention to their discussion board posts" Juliette replied, another giggle escaping her mouth.

Daisy liked this girl. Or, at the very least she thought she could tolerate her, which in Daisy speak meant she liked her. “I agree. If they gave us interesting reading material, people would be way more likely to read the books instead of just skipping to an online summary.” She did not understand why some people chose to be English majors - you were literally signing up to read tons and tons of books, both boring and entertaining, as an English major. Still, she enjoyed a good, entertaining book. Especially if it was a trashy, entertaining book. “They should assign Bridgerton, and then let us watch the Netflix show as extra credit.”

Juliette had to laugh at the girl's Bridgerton comment, it was right up her alley. She had enjoyed Bridgerton, she had binged it pretty quickly. The only thing it was missing was more gay energy, that always got Juliette really into a show. But she did love a period style piece, "yeah there is so much to unpack with that show from costumes to sex education" she added, "the discussion posts would be wild, I can hardly imagine after what is it the fourth episode or the sixth? whenever the sex montages happened, specifically the one with taylor swift in the background" she rambled, "I feel like that would be a thought provoking essay."

“I agree. I get gay vibes from Benedict and Eloise.” She held up her fork and closed her eyes. “I speak their gayness into existence. Though I am biased because the lady who plays Eloise is super pretty. But then again, I would happily make out with anyone from the cast.” A little off-topic, but Daisy was never one for staying on topic. “Oh, honey, that would be so fun. Take ‘Wildest Dreams’ to a whole new level and a whole new meaning.”

"Oh for sure, potential for asexuality for Eloise as well" said Juliette, wondering where the next seasons would take all the characters. "She is absolutely stunning" she agreed. "The men are something, but I'm much more partial to the ladies in the cast" said Juliette, she was still having trouble naming her sexuality directly. It was a reflex from the before times. "I honestly think that if there is going to be sex on screen that there should be a Taylor Swift mandate." Juliette felt strongly about this, even though it was a joke. It would just add layers every time.

“Yes. I would love Eloise to be asexual homoromantic. It would be the cherry on top. Sadly, this is Netflix we are talking about so I have my doubts.” She crinkled her nose at the thought but digressed at Juliette’s next comment. “Partial to the ladies, eh? I don’t blame you at all. Ladies have a certain…” she outlined an hourglass shape in the air with her hands, “charm to them, don’t they? Sadly, I have a weakness for the weaker sex - males, that is - as well as women.” She sighed dramatically, as though liking men as well was a great flaw in her personality. “What other songs would you want? If you could direct, what are your top three Taylor Swift sex scene songs?”

"Netflix never really ... hits things on the nose. It must be in the contract that they miss the mark" she replied with a shrug. In a perfect world things would be different. She giggled at the hand motions, "a weakness for men? Most of my friends suffer from the same condition. I heard dating men is terminal" she said, playfully frowning before breaking into a smile. She had to think for a second about what Taylor Swift songs would be good for a montage, "Hmmmm, I would say for a good enemies to lovers moment ... I did something bad. Enchanted for those like ... meet cute instant connections. Ooooh, and Afterglow for missed connections or exes" said Juliette, not completely confident in her answers but proud that she could pick something so quickly.

“This is also very true. They should hire very invested college students to do the planning for them. Preferably ones that eat at Freshens and make fun of their poor creative choices.” She shrugged, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “Yes, unfortunately despite my best efforts, I can’t shake the bi in bisexual. Men are just… ugh. There is something about them.” She sighed. “It will definitely be terminal.” She considered Juliette’s song choices and nodded her approval. “I approve. Netflix should definitely hire you to pick their soundtracks.”

A laugh fell from her lips, "I promise to not bi erase you, I will remember your terminal condition known as an affinity for men." Most of Juliette's friends were somewhere on the spectrum of sexuality, Gabrielle being on the far side of that. As straight as they come. She wondered about Jonah sometimes, but she never wanted to pry. "That would be an amazing job, maybe I should change majors and go into media and mass communications" she said, a smile forming on her face as she took a sip of her water. "If you could have a job that had nothing to do with your major and was super niche, what would it be?" she asked.

“I appreciate that. You’re a good egg. I think I am going to keep you,” Daisy said, pointing her fork at Juliette again. “Though I would appreciate you not mentioning my affinity for men in front of menfolk. It tends to go to their… heads.” She smirked. “Maybe you should change majors. It isn’t too late, but I am sure that you are… adequate… at whatever it is you do.” Her question gave Daisy pause. “If I could have a super niche job that had nothing to do with my major… hmmm… maybe someone who makes stage costumes? The really funky ones you see on the West End and Broadway. That would be fun.”

She smiled at the idea of being kept, it wasn't the first time she had heard something like that. One time she was told that someone wanted to pack her up in their pocket and take her everywhere with them. It was a strange compliment, but it was very sweet. "Bold of you to assume I would ever speak to a man" Juliette replied, laughing a little to herself. Jonah was a special exception, and Chase when he was also in his own dorm room. "I'm a journalism major, but I think it stems from a deep need to get out of town that I had in high school? So I'm not sure if it's actually something I want to do" said Juliette. She had a lot of time to change her major, so she was very comfortable where she was at. Jules still needed to adjust to this new college before she could really hunker down, a vague english major was where she was at right now. She listened when the girl was talking about costumes, "Well if you ever want to make that more of a reality, my best friends Gabrielle and Marina both know how to make clothes and costumes. Very talented ladies, they could make pretty much anything. Gabrielle does more contemporary stuff, but she's got the chops for funky costumes, and Marina does more period/fantasy clothing" she explained.

#juliettexdaisy #threads || daisy and juliette #daisy and juliette || 001 #juliette: thread

[argenti-spirit-jpg-deactivated]

Random Compilation of my Writing.

Tugging on the lining of his silver jacket, Shigemitsu let out a sigh. Just Fourteen Hours ago, the boy had been Walking to school, a grim look on his face as usual. Now, Less than a day later, he was trapped in a room with fifteen people, and was about to go crazy with boredom. He was sitting on a green couch, Listening to Kaori Rin and Fuyuko Fukada Talking, the latter mostly about death, which gave the boy surprising comfort. The Former Was Now Ranting about food, scaring the other Thirteen kids that were in the room. “And, if we run out of air-” Kaori was cut off by A Tall, Raven-Haired girl, who had yet to Introduce herself. “There are air vents, Rin. We won’t run out of air.” She put in, her gray eyes giving off a hint of maturity. The Conjoined Twins, Kuro and Kuma Tsuin, were talking quietly to each other, seemingly arguing about something, before Kuma spoke up. “Uh, hey, uhm..” He was cut off by his brother. “Hurry it up!” “S-or-ry! But, ah, Kuro and I came up with an Idea. The, uhm, smallest in the group could, uh, climb through the vent?” Kuma stuttered, His twin hitting him in the back of the head. A small nod was given from most of the kids, and they started checking who was the shortest. Kaori ended up being the shortest, so they decided she would try. “But the Vent’s so small!” The Girl shuddered, And being the oldest and one of the shortest was very awkward for her. Narumi Harumaki Opened the vent, and gave a long sigh. The Girl was the tallest person there, and was clearly uncomfortable at bending over so far to pick up the Vent cap. Silas Silver and Katsuo Shigaraki were standing far away from the group, with Jaylen Taylor and the Unnamed Raven-Haired girl. The four of them looked deep in discussion, And Shigemitsu could tell that Jaylen was getting frustrated. The Lavender-haired boy Paced silently beside the vent, waiting for Kaori to come back. Almost two minutes later, her head popped out of the small vent. “Help me out, Midori!” The Short girl called, reaching her arms out. “Anikaso, go help her.” Silas Called, his hand brushing Katsuos’. Midori Anikaso was pacing near the far wall, and ran over to help the Short Lesbian. Lifting Kaori out (With Help from Harumaki), Midori gave a sigh. “Lemme guess, Nothing you found could be helpful?”  Kaori nodded, pulling her tee-shirt down to cover her back. “Nothing. That’s disappointing, huh?” The short girl gave a sigh. “I’m sorry that i’m no help, Kuro, Kuma. I thought I could help.” Silas stepped over, his Light hair falling into his face. “What if we, you know, try the door like a normal person?” The Boy said, narrowing his eyes at the Green-haired girl, and the brown haired girl in front of him. “Or is that too Obvious to try?” The Yellow-eyed boy Asked, Putting his hand on Midori’s shoulder. “Can you go try?” Silas asked, Taking on a honeyed voice. Silas gave the shorter girl a look of desperation, and almost looked innocent as he bit his lower lip/ “Please, Midori?” Shigemitsu Could tell that Silas’s words were definitely Honeyed. The green haired girl blushed, and pulled away from the Boy. “Okay! Just, don’t, please don’t talk to me in that tone, you gay child!” Midori yelled, stepping towards the door. Katsuo moved to stand beside his friend. “That, Was really manipulative. You know that Midori likes you, so you’re using that against her?!” Katsuo whisper-shouted in his friend's ear. “I wanted her to do something.” Silas spat. Shigemitsu turned away from the pair, and went to talk to Fuyuko.

“What. Do. You. Want?!” She snarled, clearly unhappy. She had pulled her brown hair over her eyes and had her glasses resting on her forehead. Her hands had blood on them, despite her not bleeding from anywhere visible. “Fuyuko, why the hell are you bleeding?” The boy asked, Bending down to face the girl. He pushed the hair out of her face, despite her yells. “Fuck off, Takagi.” She hissed. Pushing him away, she stood up. Brushing her skirt down, and Tightening her tie, her expression changed. From one moment being angry at him, now she was looking softly at him. “Takagi-kun, I was bleeding from my nose. I’m sorry if Yuka-shan was bothering you.” She smiled sweetly. Shigemitsu noticed her eye color had changed. From the pale blue it was normally, it had gone to the color of blood. “Ahaha~ Isn’t that sweet~” She laughed almost Manically, And Pulled Shigemitsu into her. She gave a forlorn expression. “It’s a shame that she wants you dead, though.” The Girl laughed again, and Walked away.  SHigemitsu stumbled backwards, confused.

- - - - -

The loud humming of sirens burnt themselves into my mind, the harsh sound like a knife through butter. My eyes blurred with tears, and my breathing went shaky. My knees slammed into the ground as the ambulance pulled up beside the house. My Lungs were full of smoke, my body feeling as if it was on fire. I start coughing. My head was pounding. I could hardly see, tears rolling down my face, and mixing with the blood pouring out of my mouth. I feel someone lifting me up, taking me by the arms away from my mother. I can hear My mom wailing as she pushed me into the doctor. My arms Flailing, i try to get the stranger to put me down. I can hear everyone yelling. I can smell burning. I can see red. My eyes droop shut.

 The Clicking of an I.V drip in my arm woke me up. I was in a haze of trying to think. I try to move. The room was clearly a hospital. I had an I.V in my arm, alongside needles, and clearly blood. I can hear my mothers hushed voice, can feel the bandages on my wrists. Can feel the chemicals stirring in my stomach. Like they think that putting more chemicals will help me stop. I can still feel my scars on my arm. Still taste the pill. Still feel the cigarette on my tongue. Still feel the steel Knife cutting into my wrists. Still feel The unbearable darkness. I can hear their silent, judgemental talking. A doctor, three nurses. I realise the plasticy-tubes going up my nose. I let a small grunt out, letting these Judgemental Pricks know that I was awake. The Doctor, a Tall male with a disfigured nose, and Hazel eyes that protruded out of his face, and bulged out like a pimple, Leaned towards me. 

 “Ksenia. Hi, I’m Dr. Cumberdale, But please, call me Huebert.” The man’s voice was rough and crackly, like he needed water. He gave a small smile with his thin lips, and continued talking. “Can you remember how you got here?” I gave a small shake of my head. This guy wanted me to talk, so I wasn’t gonna. “Okay, then. Stay put, we need to talk to your Mommy.” He stood up, addressing me as if I was a child, not a nineteen-year old. I glare, unsure if he could tell my disappointment with how he was talking. He Laughed, and ruffled my hair. I give a deeper glare, and make a gurgling sound in my throat. He steps out of the room. I stare at the ceiling. I shut my eyes, squeezing them tight. I take a breath.

[dustedmagazine]

Dusted Mid-Year 2017, Part 1

Jaimie Branch is this year’s Heron Oblivion

It feels like it’s been 2017 for roughly a decade now, given the constant barrage of news and events, but actually we’re only about halfway though.  So again, for the fourth time in a row, we have created a mid-year feature in which Dusted writers review each other’s favorite records, specialized expertise be damned.  That’s right, veteran free-jazz expert Bill Meyer reviews Actress, outside-punk rock fan Ben Donnelly gets Tift Merritt, trad jazz authority Derek Taylor takes on Julie Byrne, etc.  We are drawing outside the lines.  We are making a mess.  We are discovering things to like about records that would probably never have hit our turntables otherwise.  We hope you will do likewise, reading about albums that you might not ordinarily consider, listening to the audio and maybe finding one or two things that make your own year-end list. We’ll run the first half of our picks today, covering Actress through Sarah Davachi.  The second will be posted tomorrow and a collection of this-year-so-far lists on the final day of our feature.   

Actress — AZD (Ninja Tune) 

Who recommended it? Joseph Burnett

Did we review it? Yes. Joseph said, “(H)is tracks trace the boundaries between the dancefloor and the art gallery in ways that have rarely been achieved so successfully.”  

Bill Meyer’s take:

In the video for “X22RME,” Darren Cunningham (aka Actress) conceals his face behind a welder’s mask and gesticulates in front of a crumbling concrete sound catcher that was built to amplify the sounds of advancing German bombers during WW II. The sight of these shielding devices resonates on the morning after a truck drove down the sidewalk of London Bridge, running over pedestrians, then disgorged its occupants into a restaurant district where they stabbed passersby with long knives. Cultural action vibrates within a milieu, and we live in a time where we are constantly reminded that the old fights come around again, new ones multiply, and our modes of protection will not keep us safe. Actress’s beats won’t solve that, but their adherence to dance floor functionality points to one option for working out the stress. Likewise the women’s voices that rise in multi-lingual layers above the electronic burble at the track’s end articulate connections and possibilities; people construct their lives in whatever circumstances they find themselves..

Blanck Mass — World Eater (Sacred Bones)

Who recommended it? Ian Mathers

Did we review it?  Yes, Ian’s review went up earlier today, saying it’s a record that “somehow [manages] to be both more relentlessly overwhelming and more immediately accessible” than his previous work.

Ben Donnelly’s take:

World Eater seizes the challenge of making everything loud at once, with rhythm sequences that fill up the 16th notes and every frequency. It's the same dare taken by black metal, and I daresay metal has something to do with the aesthetic, though the results of Benjamin John Power's production are brighter. When his synthetic valkyries are charging, it’s epic for sure. It's a victory gallop, not impending doom. And victorious he is. Looped waves of noise have the force of machines, and they all ring with the intent of a human somewhere behind the scenes, giddy with the godlike storm-bringing power he's discovered. So yes, "The Rat" has an industrial meat grinder beat, but it sounds like he's dropping pinball machines into the auger, not enemies. This is a dense record shot through the ribbons of darkness, but those bared fangs on the cover are smiling. 

Bottle Tree — Bottle Tree (International Anthem)

Bottle Tree by Bottle Tree

Who recommended it: Eric McDowell

Did we review it? Yes, Eric covered it in a mid-May Dust, saying, “Over the cassette’s 30 minutes, the trio gets significant mileage out of contrasted layers, deft structural pivots and sudden harmonic cadences.”  

Ian Mathers’ take:

Most records this year won’t pack quite as much into their running lengths as Chicago trio Bottle Tree does in a mere 32 minutes, and with fairly minimal means, too; just A.M. Frison’s smoked honey voice, Tommaso Moretti’s protean, quicksilver drum fills and the sometimes anchoring, sometimes intangible arrangements and guiding hand of Ben Lamar Gay. The trio can and does stop and go on a dime, takes switchbacks without pause, and somehow does all this in a form that’s never anything less than sublimely mellow. Whether it’s the gently clattering percussion and bass burbles behind Frison’s chanted and then crooned lyrics on “Open Secret” or the sunrise synths and steady, subway train drumming leading into the stirring chorus of “Permanent Change” (where, of course, the drumming changes up), Bottle Tree somehow twists classic song craft and the avant garde, pop and jazz, Motown and improv, into an effortless, instantly ingratiating Mobius strip. Whatever else that tree is growing, there’s lightning in some of those bottles.   

Nathaniel Braddock — Quadrille and Collapse (Invertabrata)

Quadrille & Collapse by Nathaniel Braddock

Who recommended it: Eric McDowell

Did we review it: Yes, Bill Meyer covered it in Dust, writing that, “’Doesn’t Remember,’ … interrupts Philip Glass-like repetition with intricate bridging phrases, while ‘Silvering Ghosts’ sounds like Steve Reich adapted to West African and Caribbean picking techniques.”  

Jennifer Kelly’s take:

Braddock is known for interspersing American Primitive-style picking with West African blues, but this pristine and radiant disc seems to lean more heavily on Fahey than Ali Farka Touré. You may intuit the dry heat of African trance blues in “The Desert Within” but elsewhere shimmering flurries of picking evoke the Appalachia-crossed-with-raga musings of Jack Rose. The title track, balancing 18th century square dancing with post-modern notions of entropy, is a glistening intricacy of notes, grounded by low plunks like a kick drum but spinning off from there in dizzying circles. Closer “Tiger Bucket” swaggers. Strong rhythm cuts through the light-and-shadow eddies of rapid notes; it’s a spring-swelled stream that looks placid on top, but spits off bubbles and froth from its tumultuous undercurrents. 

Jaimie Branch — Fly or Die (International Anthem) 

Fly or Die by jaimie branch

Who recommended it? Derek Taylor, but the Dusted hive was in firm agreement

Did we review it? Yes. Eric said, “The Chicagoan-turned-Brooklynite’s overdue debut is bursting with the pent-up energy of years spent cultivating an impishly bold voice and collaborating widely without the deserved reward of a reputation outside the local scene.” 

Patrick Masterson’s take: 

This time last year, I was giving a close listen to Babyfather in the wake of Brexit and wondering what we’d be listening to in the aftermath of a Trump election (not to say I told you so). For me, as it turns out, the answer was: Not much. I never got internet service for my new apartment and I’ve been reading a lot of books lately. I’ve enjoyed Migos, Pile, Colin Stetson, and Big Thief records, sure. I’ve indulged in long moments of peaceful repose to Young Thug’s “Safe.” The latest Overmono EP is solid. But that’s about it for 2017; my listening has been liberated from the ever-peaking insanity of the “news” cycle. It feels good, man.  

And that’s how liberation should feel, shouldn’t it? You should come away empowered, relieved, unburdened. I wonder if that’s how Jaimie Branch was feeling as she wrapped up post-production last July for Fly or Die, her full-length debut. At a lean 35 minutes and two fistfuls of tracks, this record packs it in and lets it out: The swell of white noise before the count-off into “Theme 001,” a power groove of a song, shows right away that this is no free-jazz genre purist’s haven. It shouldn’t be a surprise that the album flows so well between songs like the “Themes” or “Waltzer” and the interstices of the title-track or end note “…Back at the Ranch” given Branch’s familiarity with band mates Jason Ajemian, Tomeka Reid and Chad Taylor. But despite a handle on divergent mile markers that would have lesser composers looking foolish, the deft touch she’s provided frees it only as far her leash will allow; as Eric rightly points out in his review, the glue is her voice, and she’s got a taut one here.  

Nevertheless, calling Jaimie Branch a trumpeter or even bandleader feels preposterously limiting; this woman is living the art we need right now to survive. Does that seem over the top? Well, far be it for me to insist you listen. Or the overwhelming majority of us at Dusted. Or Branch’s bandmates. Or Rob Mazurek. Or Ryley Walker. Or Sarah Neufeld. Everyone hears the liberation at their own pace, after all.

The Bug vs. Earth — Concrete Desert (Ninja Tune) 

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://thebugmusic.bandcamp.com/album/concrete-desert"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Concrete Desert by The Bug vs Earth&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Who recommended it? Mason Jones

Did we review it: Yes, Mason wrote, “As the guitars and piano are successively overwhelmed by sonic waves only to resurface with glints of beauty, it feels like an oddly peaceful, welcome drowning.” 

Jennifer Kelly’s take:

Two artists that seem, on the surface, to be radically different, find austere common ground in this disc. Dylan Carlson of Earth carves out epic meditative spaces with long, widely separated chimes of guitar, while Kevin Martin, The Bug, builds masses of shivering, shimmering hum. “Gasoline” and “Snakes vs. Rats” power forward on machine-drilled, industrial beats, the brooding heaviness set to foreboding motion. The long ones, “American Dream” and “Concrete Desert” wax elegiac, the ebb and tide of static eroding melody, like the crackle of clock radio cutting through the fading images of a dream. 

Julie Byrne — Not Even Happiness (BaDaBing/Grapefruit) 

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://juliembyrne.bandcamp.com/album/not-even-happiness"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Not Even Happiness by Julie Byrne&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Who recommended it: Jennifer Kelly

Did we review it? Yes, Jennifer said, “Not Even Happiness is a work of intimate loveliness, surely one of the most flat-out beautiful songwriter albums of a year that is just getting going.”  

Derek Taylor’s take:

True to the unspoken, but venerable troubadour credo, particulars of Julie Byrne’s biography bubble up in the mutable, artifice-averse economies of her songs. A life lived with openness to extempore itinerancy and an abiding adoration for the natural world are points on the artistic compass, as are the bonds of family and interpersonal consanguinity even when at odds. Acoustic finger-style guitar lies at the core of Byrne’s performance tool box along with an ethereal voice that glides from a lilting, speakers-sating croon to candid spoken-sung salience. “Morning Dove” and “All the Land Glimmered” contain convincing evocations of the former, her starkly audible fretting on each folded directly into the gentle fractals of the tunes. Electronics and other instruments/effects enhance the equation on songs like “Natural Blue” and the interstitial “Interlude”, but Byrne’s fulcrum is usually the sturdy lattice work spun simply from words and strings. Lyrics and music coexist with equal and reciprocal weight and in their mingling revert to a pleasing and restorative weightlessness. Hers is not my usual wheelhouse, but one I will agreeably spend time in, soothing libation at the ready to augment those Byrne brings forth of an aural sort. 

Evan Caminiti — Toxic City Music (Dust Editions) 

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://dust-editions.bandcamp.com/album/toxic-city-music"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Toxic City Music by Evan Caminiti&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Who recommended it? Bill Meyer

Did we review it? Yes, Brett Marion said, “Its slippery patterns [serve] as auditory snapshots of dank irradiated zones and heat realm communities quarantined in an airless isolation.”   

Jennifer Kelly’s take

Guitars have receded under an ominous fug since Caminiti’s days in Barn Owl. Where slow bright arcs of tone soared over cuts from Ancestral Star and melancholic picked figures reverberated through Lost in the Glare, here the six-string sounds — sometimes Caminiti himself, sometimes augmented by Jefre Cantu-Ledesma — are ghostly wrecks, barely glimpsed through the haze. Caminiti incorporated field recordings from New York City into this apocalyptic mix, so some of the roar and hiss and rumble is just the sounds of midtown. Yet in “Joaquin,” the disc’s best, music slips under a pall of poisonous smoke, submerges in waves of material-destroying acid, goes down amid the distant hiss and clangor of machinery. Toxic City Music sets up an uneasy conflict between sound and entropy, and it seems that unmaking, rather than making, is winning. 

Sarah Davachi — All My Circles Run (Students of Decay) 

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://sarahdavachi.bandcamp.com/album/all-my-circles-run"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;All My Circles Run by Sarah Davachi&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

Who recommended it? Tobias Carroll

Did we review it?  Yes, Eric McDowell said: “Davachi remains a composer of gently immersive and just-stable ambient textures — the kind best enjoyed in total darkness, relieved of as much extraneous sensory input as possible.”  

Joseph Burnett’s take:

Even if I hadn't learned it beforehand, I would be certain that the influence of LaMonte Young hung heavy over All My Circles Run from the first note. Sarah Davachi's compositions share Young’s dutiful dedication to patience and stillness more than most, as the extended, shimmering and unwavering tones on "For Strings" make abundantly clear. But dwelling on the core tones of strings, piano, voice and organ so unflinchingly, she allows their strengths to be magnified even as her subtle sonic manipulations upset the listener's expectations. "For Voice" is the clear triumph on All My Circles Run: resisting the temptation to overplay the layers of wordless litanies, she allows each voice to glisten and shine even as it crosses paths with others. Combined, these haunting refrains form a mournful choir that hangs translucently in the air, so fragile one fears it could break apart at any second. So much "drone" music is sterile and intellectual, but Davachi's dedication to focusing solely on the essence of each sound source means All My Circles Run is as affecting an experience as it is interesting.

#dusted magazine #midyear 2017 #actress #bill meyer #blanck mass #ben donnelly #bottle tree #ian mathers #nathaniel braddock #jennifer kelly #jaimie branch #patrick masterson #the bug #earth #julie byrne #derek taylor #evan caminiti #sarah davachi #midyear

[5hfanfiction]

Like The Air That I Breathe

CH 4

She’s 12 when she learns about sex-ed in her health class. She’s sitting in the back of the class; the lights of the class are turned off and there’s a video on sexually transmitted diseases and infections playing from the projector in the front of the class. Every now and then occasional comments of “ewes” and “gross” comes from the girls and snickers and lude comments coming from the guys. She begins to doze off until she hears the girl beside her, Veronica, nudges her playfully and whispers, “Thank God I’m gay.” She’s pointing towards an awful descriptive picture of a man with Gonorrhea of the mouth. And it makes sense now, the girl she always sees Vero sitting with in the cafeteria with the long blue hair, they’re not just friends. Ashley, is Vero’s girlfriend.

Lauren’s never actually heard anyone say that out loud before, “I’m gay” … She’s seen it on TV of course, but she never actually thought she would hear someone claim to be it, in front of her. Of course, people call each other gay all the time but, usually as a joke or to make fun of someone- Dinah’s one of them, her parents don’t speak of it, and she knows Camila hates it… Now, she doesn’t realize that maybe that’s what she’s needed, for someone around her to just say it, to make it feel okay for her. She’s always seen it as wrong for a girl to love another girl, and a boy to love another boy, despite what Mani tells her. But, today, Lauren realizes that maybe she shouldn’t care, she thinks love should be love. In her 12 years of living she realizes maybe all love is okay.

Lauren can’t help but grimace, “I’m pretty sure you can get that too.” She turns her head away from the screen.

“Probably.” Veronica shrugs, “guys are still disgusting, and I just felt like saying "I’m gay”.“ She winks and Lauren giggles with her.

She decides she’s just going to do what feels right to her from now on. So, she kisses Lucy more. So much more… because she likes kissing Lucy. Because Vero made it okay for her to kiss Lucy. Because she likes the feeling of being wanted, of Lucy’s soft lips, of the secrete affair they have going on behind their friend’s and family’s backs, sneaking kisses when no one is watching, and whispering innuendos back and forth when no one is paying attention. It’s fun. So, when Lucy asks Lauren to be her girlfriend she doesn’t understand why she can’t bring herself to say yes. Vero made it okay, right? So, why does it still feel wrong? She likes being friends with Lucy, she likes kissing Lucy, and she likes Lucy. She’s internally freaking out and she doesn’t want to say something wrong. She doesn’t want to hurt her so she asks for time, which Lucy willingly gives to her.

She begins to avoid her Colombian friend after that. Making up excuses during lunch, saying she needs to make up tests that she’s missed because of soccer games, or she "has homework questions”. In the class that they share, Lauren arrives first, sits in her seat, takes out a book or her notes, and submerges herself in the material so that when the other girl walks in and takes her seat beside her she wouldn’t bother her. She would look up, smile, then go right back to her book or notes. When class finished, she was the first out of the class heading to hide in the closest restroom.

This goes on for a few weeks and Lauren notices that Lucy gives up on trying to get her attention. It goes on for too long that Lauren begins to feel alone, she has no more friends. She’s abandoned Keana and Alexa when she started avoiding Lucy, but they were Lucy’s friends first so she passes that off by thinking they would’ve left her anyways. Normani is still upset with her and she spends all her free time with Dinah and Camila. So, Lauren finds herself going to school, going to practice, and coming home. She starts avoiding everyone all together and she can tell by the way her parents look at her that they know something is wrong but when they ask she just brushes them off walking upstairs to her room. Listening to music through her headphones until her mom calls her for dinner.

“How was school today, baby girl?” Her dad says to her. Lauren shrugs her shoulders and continues to push the food around her plate.

“I haven’t seen Normani around lately, or Lucy. How are they?” Her mom asks, she stopped asking about Dinah and Camila a while ago and just assumed with the grade difference they just grew apart. Lauren rolls her eyes at her plate. She doesn’t want to talk about them. To be honest, she has no idea how they are doing.

She shrugs her shoulders again, “Fine, I guess.” She mumbles.

“Did something happen? Are you guys fighting?” Chris joins in and Lauren’s head glares at him.

“Mind your business, no one was talking to you.” She snaps.

“Lauren that is no way to speak to your brother.” And she decides really doesn’t want to hear her dad scold her so she gets up and heads to her room.

She ignores her parents yelling for her to come back downstairs and locks her door behind her before crawling into bed. Just stares up at her ceiling in the dark, feeling empty, until sleep finds her. She dreams about nothing. She wakes up feeling better the next morning. It’s almost 10am on her alarm clock so she just decides not to go school, her parents are both at work so she can’t get yelled at. She’s making her way down to the kitchen for food when she hears noise in the living room. It sounds like crying. She peaks her head around the corner cautiously because no one is supposed to be home and she’s kind of scared. But she’s confused to why she sees her mom’s back, and to why her mom is crying.

“¿Qué pasó, Mamí?”

“Lauren,” Her mom jumps, she watches as her mom wipes away her tears and takes in a few breaths, “sweetie, I thought you were in school.”

“I woke up late.” She responds making her way to sit on the couch. “Why are you crying?” She puts her hand on her mom’s shoulder, for support.

“Oh, honey, you don’t need to worry about me, right now. Your father is on his way home with your brother and sister we will explain then. Right now, you must be hungry, here let me make you some breakfast.” Her mom says standing up quickly and heading to the kitchen. Lauren follows slowly, wondering why her Papí was on his way home from, why he picked up Taylor and Chris from school so early, why her Mamí was home from work crying.

“Wait, Ma? Why is Papí coming home with Chis and Tay?” She says when she enters the kitchen. She doesn’t expect her mom to cry harder but that’s the response she gets.

“It’s going to be okay.” Her mom mumbles, placing bacon on a skillet. Lauren doesn’t say anything else, she doesn’t want to make it worse.

She eats her bacon and cereal in silence, eyes wide watching her mom cry as she does the dishes. Her dad comes home just as she’s putting her dishes in the sink and he sends Chris and Taylor up to their rooms to put their stuff away. She watches her mom fall into his arms crying. She’s crying and trying to speak but it comes out in rambles of Spanish and English and hiccups. Lauren can barely make out what’s being said but she’s hearing words like “falleció” and “stroke” and she can’t take it anymore. She’s so confused. Her heart is pounding and she’s looking back and forth at her parents faces. Her fathers red cheeks, her mother’s wet one’s.

She doesn’t even realize the tears falling down her face when she yells out “What is going on?” Everyone becomes silent. Chris and Taylor are by her side now, looking just as confused and worried as she is.

“Lauren,” her Papí chokes out. He looks like he’s going to start crying too. As if, he has news he doesn’t want to share with them, especially her. And Lauren has an idea, she knows someone’s died, she just wants to know who.

“Tu abuelita-”

“No” she interrupts him her voice breaking as she shakes her head. He nods in return, his eyes looking painfully sorry, she can’t look at them anymore. “No,” she say’s stronger. She was close to her grandmother. They all were, but it was different with Lauren. Her grandmother didn’t judge her, there were no expectations, she was free to be Lauren. Her grandmother knew her better than anyone in her family, and Lauren loved her so much.

“She’s gone baby girl.” He nods.

“You’re lying.” She tries to glare at her parents but she can hardly see because the tears are just pouring out now. She can hear Chris and Taylor crying beside her. “Stop lying to me!” She cries out, voice breaking.

“Oh, honey” her mom says reaching her arms out to her. Lauren tries to back away, failing and tripping into the wall behind her.

“Don’t touch me!” She screams, “You’re not funny. This isn’t funny, Mamí” She cries, her mom’s arms are around her now, holding her tight. She doesn’t have the energy to push her away. “I still need her, mama.” She whimpers.

“I know, baby girl. I’m so sorry. I know.”

They spend the next hour in that corner, her mom holding her on the floor while her dad holds her siblings on the couch. They sit there until Lauren cries herself to sleep and she wakes up hours later tucked into her bed. It’s dark when she wakes up and she’s hungry but she doesn’t want to leave her room. She reaches over on her night stand to grab her phone and sees that she has a few text messages. 2 from Normani, 1 from Keana, 1 from Lucy and 1 from Camila. She wasn’t expecting the last one, she didn’t even know Camila had a phone let alone her number.

She reads the messages leaving each and every girl on read:

*Hey, you okay? I didn’t see you in school today. -Manibear

*I hope you’re okay… I wanted to talk to you, I miss you, Lo. -Manibear

*Did something happen between u and Luce? You both have been acting strnge. -KeKes

*We need to talk, I know you’ve been avoiding me. -LucyV

*Hey, Lauren. This is Camila. I got your number from Mani, just in case you’re wondering. I know you’ve been extremely busy these past few months and Dinah and I happen to have really bad timing with asking you to hang out with us, heh. But, I really miss you and I want to hang out with you… Yeah, so here’s my number so if you ever have time or want someone to talk to you can “hit me up” (Dinah’s been teaching me slang). P.S. I need someone who will laugh at my jokes again. -CameelaaCabeyoo

That last texts makes her want to cry even more, so she turns her phone off and forces herself to go back to sleep so she doesn’t have to feel bad for ignoring her best friends or wish for her abuelita to still be alive.

She doesn’t go to school the next couple of days. Her parents don’t make her; they call the school to get it excused. She only leaves her room to shower and eat. Spending the rest of her days glumly awaiting the funeral coming up by.sleeping away her sadness and ignoring everyone.

She’s woken up to someone softly whispering her name and blinding light that hurts her eyes. They’re already sensitive so it doesn’t help that they are sore from all the crying that she’s been doing.

“What are you doing here?” She mumbles turning her head into her pillow, blocking the sun.

“Your mom called my mom.” Normani said moving closer to sit down on the side of Laurens bed.

“You could’ve called me, Lauren.” Lauren rolls her eyes into her pillow, of course her mom would call one of her friends. She’s not ungrateful, she just doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Did you tell anyone else?” She responds, her voice dry and hoarse. She shakes her head no. “Good.” She turns back into her pillow.

“How are you feeling?” Normani puts her hand on Laurens back.

“How do I look?” She turns back to face the girl, a tear escaping her emeralds. Normani doesn’t say anything else, just crawls in bed next to her best friend and hugs her tight.

“It’s Friday, right?” Lauren asks into Mani’s shoulder. The other girl chuckles before replying yes. Lauren’s missed her. She still misses her; she misses the relationship they had. The relationship they all had.

“My abuelita’s dead.” She whispers. Normani hums, “and you were mad at me. And I was avoiding Lucy and Kekes and Alexa. And then Camila texted me, and I shut my phone off forever..” The older girl nods her head, allowing Lauren to get whatever it was off her chest. “I’m so sorry Mani, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was using you. I didn’t mean to be such an awful friend these past few weeks.” And Laurens crying again so Normani thinks it’s time to speak up. She lifts her friends face up so that she’s looking at her.

“Hey, hey. Now, I’m not going to lie to you and say that I wasn’t upset – but I wasn’t mad, if that makes sense.” Lauren shakes her head, “look Lo, we all care about you. We love you, and it was upsetting that you were having me lie to DJ and Mila because you were afraid to confront your emotions. And to top it off, these past few weeks, you did, sort of ditch the rest of us for Lucy… And then you ditched her.. which she’s pissed about.”

“I don’t wanna talk about that yet,” Lauren groans.

“But… My point is, you can’t push me away. I’m always going to be here for you. Friends forever, babe, don’t forget it.” Normani begins stroking Laurens hair as her tears finally stop flowing pass her red cheeks. “Remember when we were in fourth grade and my grandpa passed away?” Lauren nods, “You told me to always remember that just because he isn’t here anymore doesn’t mean he’s dead. Remember? You said he’s alive, and he’s happier than ever, watching over me and my family and flying with the angels… Well, you’re abuelita is with my granddaddy now. And they’re going to be happy together, okay?”

“Why are you the best person ever? Can you sleepover?” Lauren pouts

“Hold on.” Normani laughs before pulling out her phone, “Can you like, repeat that on camera. please, so I can prove to Dinah what I’ve been trying to convince her for years, now.” And for the first time in weeks, as Lauren can remember, she laughs. A genuine, heartfelt laugh, with a smile that reaches her eyes.

“I can’t sleep over, I have dance in a little, my mom’s downstairs…” Lauren groans and the other girl hesitates before continuing, “but if you want, you can come to my house tonight… But Dinah and Camila are going to be there also.”

“I don’t think I can do it… I miss them.” She sighs, “but, Mani… I can’t be around her without feeling something for her that she will never feel back.

Normani sighs and nods her head, just hugging her friend tighter. "I think you’re too young to have all of this drama in your life.” She chuckles at the green-eyed girls scowl, “but your feelings are valid. Always remember that.”

She’s tired of being alone. She’s laid in bed all day, for the past few days, without speaking to anyone until Normani came by earlier that day. Letting out a frustrated groan she slips out of bed and decides to shower and pack a bag for Mani’s house. She slips her socked feet into her black Nikes and makes her way downstairs. Her parents both eyes widen when they see her round the corner to the kitchen, and her mom stops doing the dishes and smiles at her softly before asking if she’s hungry. Lauren nods her head and allows her mom to make her something to eat before asking one of them to drive her to Normani’s.

She stands at the door, bag over one arm, awkwardly when the door pops open.

“Lo? You changed your mind?” The older girl questions her eyes wide and voice slightly lower than usual, she looked around the door confused but Normani’s body blocking the entrance. She’s in a pair of black soffe shorts and a loose pink Hollister top that fell off her right shoulder. “I didn’t tell the other girls you were coming, or what happened…” She explains. Lauren smiles shyly, she opens her mouth to reply when suddenly the door swings open wide revealing an upset Dinah and a shy looking Camila.

“Dinah!” Mani yells.

“Don’t you Dinah me Norma! This girl’s got some explainin to do!” She glares at Lauren making the now shorter girl wish she hadn’t come.

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t make eye contact with the taller girl, instead she was staring into the pools of chocolate staring back at her. They looked confused, disappointed, but not hateful. Not like Dinah’s. She blinks before turning her head away to look at Normani’s stern but knowing face, “I’m Really-

"You’re sorry!?” Dinah yells in disbelief, “You ignore us for almost a whole year, Lauren, and you’re sorry?” Lauren opens her mouth again, at a loss for words. “What you’re too cool to hang out with us now? Got your cool new 7th grade friends now, you can’t hang out with us?”

“I’m so-

"No, don’t be sorry, go hang out with Lucy.” Dinah scoffs going to close the door, Normani’s hand stops it.

“Dinah stop.”

“You even missed Mila’s birthday the other day!” A tear streamed down Laurens cheek and Normani’s had enough.

“Dinah stop!” Normani yells, “do not come at Lauren when you don’t understand anything.” she points her finger at the youngest and Dinah backs up in fear. “Her grandma just died, DJ.” She says softer, more pained. One thing Lauren notices hasn’t changed since she’s left their group. Camila is just standing in the back staring wide eyed at the confrontation.

“It’s fine, I deserve it.” Lauren clears her throat. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you guys, and I’m really sorry I missed your birthday Camila.”

The younger Latina shakes her head, obviously still shocked at the new of the other girl’s dead grandma by the look in her wide eyes, “It’s fine” she chokes out. Normani pushes a guilty looking Dinah out of the way and ushers Lauren inside.

“We have Pineapple Pizza. Want some?” Camila smiles cheerfully, trying to make it less awkward.

“Mila chose it.” Dinah mumbles, and Normani rolls her eyes nudging Dinah’s elbow. “What?” Dinah hisses.

“Apologize.” Mani mumbles. Dinah mumbles something under her breath, while Lauren watches the whole exchange. She watches as Camila bites into a slice pizza and runs into the kitchen, returning with a can of coke in her hand. The younger girl spots Lauren looking at her and lifts the drink up towards her, face full of food, as to ask if Lauren wants one too. She shakes her head no. She feels foreign, she used to be a part of this group, friends with all three of these girls and now she feels like she’s the outsider. Well, it’s her fault. She’s brought back to reality with Normani hissing “now” to Dinah making the other girl roll her eyes and spit out a lousy sorry. But Lauren will take it, she deserved Dinah lashing out at her.

“It’s fine, Dinah, I deserved some of that.” The younger girl scoffs.

“Just to be clear, I’m only sorry about coming at you for missing Chancho’s birthday. You have no excuse for all the other times.” She turns around, “Oh, and I’m sorry about your grandma, Ralph, she was always kind to me.”

After that she knows the night will be okay. No matter how much the green-eyed girl hates that nickname, in that moment, she thinks she can be satisfied with it. And Lauren just nods, because that’s all she can do. Dinah is right.

She sets her bag down in Normani’s room and comes back out plopping herself down on the floor next to Camila and the Pizza, because who can say no to pizza- even if it’s covered with the world’s worst toppings. Normani put a movie on to shut Dinah up so the younger was laying on the couch staring intently at the TV screen while the eldest was talking to her mom in the kitchen. So, it was just her, the pizza, and Camila. And in the distance, Dinah and her movie.

“I’m really sorry Camz.” The older girl whispered.

“Don’t worry about it, Laur. We’ve missed you, that’s all. And you know Dinah.” Camila smiled, taking Laurens hand in hers. Lauren smiled back at the girl.

“I heard you were dating Austin.” Lauren fakes a smirk, even though it’s a touchy subject.

“He’s an ass.” Dinah scoffs a little too loudly.

“Dinah Jane, don’t make me tell your mother about the foul language you’re using in my house again. ”

“I’m sorry, Mama Drea, it just slipped out!” Dinah yells back. Camila and Lauren laugh.

“Austin, was a jerk.” Camila rephrased.

“Yeah, he only wanted Mila because of a bet, can you believe him? Chancho found out and she was in tears for days.” Lauren felt bad, one of the main reasons she distanced herself from the other girl was because of her relationship with the boy. Aside from the fact that it hurt whenever Camila would talk about the boy, she couldn’t stand the kid. She hasn’t liked him ever since the day he pulled Camila’s pigtails on her first day of school a long time ago and she doesn’t understand why Camila liked him at all in the first place. Or why Dinah encouraged it.

“Cheech, stop.” Camila pleaded with the Polynesian.

“You should’ve let me give him a poly beat down.” Dinah mumbled.

“You would’ve lost. He’s a boy.”

“So, I wrestle my cousins all the time, and they’re way bigger than Dorito boy. Plus, I could’ve just kicked him in the shin and ran, have you seen how strong my legs are?” Lauren quirked her brow at the younger girl’s remark. “I should run track.”

“I could get him back for you, Camzi.” She smirked looking deep into the chocolate eyes. The other girl laughs at the memory that resurfaced at the thought of Lauren ‘getting him back’ and the older girl can’t help but be enamored by the beauty in the sound of Camila’s laugh. The beauty in Camila, and it hurts her for a second because she realizes once again she can’t have Camila, she accepts the fact that she’ll just have to settle for friends. That’s better than nothing, right? She decides to change the subject before she can get caught staring, “How’s the little munchkin?” And Camila’s face lights up again as she fills Lauren in on all things Sofi.

“You’re a dancer, not a runner.” Normani said adding input to the conversation they just had two minutes ago as she walks back into the room with a large bowl of popcorn, “Guy’s we have to be quiet my mom’s going to bed.”

“Actually, I’m a singer, ManiPoo.” Dinah boasted “and so, I bet I could beat Jade in a race, I heard she was the fastest on the team.”

“No Dinah, your mom can sing, not you.” Normani laughs.

“Watch you’re gonna here me sing one day, and you’re gonna love it, pendeja.” Lauren chokes on soda as Camila busts out laughing obviously proud of the one out of hundreds of Spanish words she could get to stick in Dinah’s mind.

So, she’s 12 when she decides everything is going to be okay. She may have lost her grandma but she gained a guardian angel. A beautiful, strong guardian angel that’s going to watch over her and protect her and love her. She may not have the love of her life, but she does, she has her in all the ways that she needs her right now. Her friendship is more important than anything, and that night, as she looks around at her sleeping friends, at Normani with her legs sprawled out over the youngest girl, who’s mouth was wide open and snoring in Camila’s face, who looked peaceful but out cold- she decides she’ll do whatever she can to keep that.

Then she remembers she’s still gotta talk to Lucy… She’ll do that next week.

———————————————————————————————————————

Sooo…. this took unneccesarily long for me to update. Please forgive me, I’m an athlete, a reader, not a writer.. It’s exceptionally hard for my scrambled thoughts to actually form and become coherent. But I am trying, hopefully I will grow.

#UPDATE #series #AU #camren #romance fluff #submission #Like The Air That I Breathe

[ohgaylor]

Taylor: throws an after party and invites all the 🏳️‍🌈

Us: there goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen

#taylor swift #gayest party of the year!!! #she’s doing this to herself honestly #taylor honey your gay is loud again #gaylor #love that for her #troye sivan #muna #hayley kiyoko #becca tilley #Fletcher #mine #thoughts* #lgbtqia #queer associations

[rythelover]

answers for @sproutingpeach (sorry it took so long had to do it on mobile when nobody was watching) 200: My crush’s name is: helen🌸 199: I was born in: 2000 198: I am really: relaxed 197: My cellphone company is: verizon 196: My eye color is: green 195: My shoe size is: 7 1/2 194: My ring size is: 6 or 7 193: My height is: 5'5" 192: I am allergic to: witch hazel 191: My 1st car was: 2003 silver honda accord 190: My 1st job was: haven’t had one 189: Last book you read: milk and honey by rupi kar 188: My bed is: queen sized and vv comfy 187: My pets: jyn and andy 186: My best friend: dally (@justloveselfushlove) 185: My favorite shampoo is: idk 184: Xbox or ps3: xbox I guess 183: Piggy banks are: alright 182: In my pockets: earbuds 181: On my calendar: vacation this week 180: Marriage is: not necessary 179: Spongebob can: shut up please 178: My mom: is problematic 177: The last three songs I bought were?: I don’t buy songs, I’ve got spotify 176: Last YouTube video watched: some random vine compilation i think 175: How many cousins do you have?: 4 174: Do you have any siblings?: yes, 4 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yes 171: Do you play an instrument?: I’m learning piano 170: What did you do yesterday?: mini road trip and swimming [ I Believe In ]
 169: Love at first sight: no 168: Luck: no 167: Fate: no 166: Yourself: sometimes 165: Aliens:sure 164: Heaven: no 163: Hell: no 162: God: idk 161: Horoscopes: not really but they’re fun to read anyways 160: Soul mates: nope 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course 157: War: no 156: Orbs: no? 155: Magic: no [ This or That ]
 154: Hugs or Kisses: never been kissed so I'd have to say hugs 153: Drunk or High: high 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: both i can’t decide 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk 140: Mac or PC: mac 139: Flip flops or high heels: depends on the situation, i like both 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: buried 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: chanel 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who?? 131: Small town or Big city: big city 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: ben stiller 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers 124: Disney or Six Flags: Disneyland 123: Yankees or Red Sox: idc [ Here’s What I Think About ]
 122: War: unnecessary 121: George Bush: did 9/11 120: Gay Marriage: please legalise it everywhere 119: The presidential election: trumps not my president. 118: Abortion: pro choice 117: MySpace: no opinion 116: Reality TV: don’t watch it 115: Parents: good idea, poor execution 114: Back stabbers: they did it for a reason 113: Ebay: no opinion 112: Facebook: my safe app, flip to it when parents are around 111: Work: fine i guess 110: My Neighbors: annoying 109: Gas Prices: better than they can used to be 108: Designer Clothes: unnecessary 107: College: wish it wasn’t a social requirement 106: Sports: don’t mind watching (sometimes even enjoy it) but hate playing 105: My family: big and loud but still good 104: The future: let’s not think about it… [ Last time I ]
 103: Hugged someone: I don’t remember, a couple weeks ago?? 102: Last time you ate: half an hour ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: May 100: Cried in front of someone: a month or so i think? 99: Went to a movie theater: a week ago 98: Took a vacation: rn 97: Swam in a pool: last night 96: Changed a diaper: 3 weeks ago 95: Got my nails done: 2 years ago 94: Went to a wedding: 8 years ago 93: Broke a bone: 5th grade 92: Got a piercing: 8 years ago 91: Broke the law: never 90: Texted: half an hour ago [ MISC ]
 89: Who makes you laugh the most: helen 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my kitty 87: The last movie I saw: the amazing spiderman 2 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: meeting helen irl 85: The thing im not looking forward to: starting school again 84: People call me: on the internet-ry irl-raveyn or rave 83: The most difficult thing to do is: get along with my mother 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: sagittarius 80: The first person i talked to today was: my dad 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten probably 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: nobody 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk 76: Right now I am talking to: helen 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: be happy hopefully 74: I have/will get a job: my first job be grocery bagging 73: Tomorrow: hanging out and to softball game 72: Today: I'm bored af 71: Next Summer: idk 70: Next Weekend: idk 69: I have these pets: one kitty one puppy 68: The worst sound in the world: cotton balls rubbing together 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my mom 66: People that make you happy: my gf and internet friends and my siblings 65: Last time I cried: last night (watching a movie) 64: My friends are: the i love them 63: My computer is: nonexistent 62: My School: online 61: My Car: older but good 60: I lose all respect for people who: are assholes 59: The movie I cried at was: amazing spiderman 2 58: Your hair color is: bleached 57: TV shows you watch: Grey's Anatomy and Brooklyn 99 56: Favorite web site: tumblr.com.hell 55: Your dream vacation: Greece 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i had a broken nose and sneezed 53: How do you like your steak cooked: i don't like steak 52: My room is: cozy+aesthetic 51: My favorite celebrity is: Priyanka Chopra 50: Where would you like to be: with my girlfriend 49: Do you want children: no 48: Ever been in love: nope 47: Who’s your best friend: dally 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i have one guy friend, one girl friend, one nb so it's an even mix 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my hair looks good 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: helen 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: um no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: not a concrete list but a ideas 41: Have you pre-named your children: I've thought it 40: Last person I got mad at: my mom 39: I would like to move to: New York 38: I wish I was a professional: ??? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Reese's pieces 36: Vehicle: idk 35: President: obama 34: State visited: California 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon i guess 32: Athlete: Serena Williams 31: Actor: Andrew Garfield 30: Actress: Priyanka Chopra or Amanda Seyfried 29: Singer: the weeknd or halsey 28: Band: fall out boy 27: Clothing store: idk 26: Grocery store: Fry's 25: TV show: Brooklyn 99 24: Movie: the breakfast club 23: Website: this one 22: Animal: all of them 21: Theme park: Disneyland 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: none sports aren't allowed look at me 17: Magazine: teen vogue 16: Book: Althea and Oliver 15: Day of the week: Sunday 14: Beach: idk 13: Concert attended: 5sos 12: Thing to cook: chocolate chip cookies 11: Food: burgers and fries 10: Restaurant: Fuddruckers 9: Radio station: 97.1 8: Yankee candle scent: idk 7: Perfume: idk 6: Flower: daisy 5: Color: blue 4: Talk show host: idk 3: Comedian: idk 2: Dog breed: lab 1: Did you answer all these truthfully?: yes

[mindless21]

ok Lover has me shook

So yes, in the last couple of hours since the release of Taylor’s seventh, wonderfully written, and fully OWNED album I’ve scattered and listened for my favorite parts of each song and decide to share because it is necessary ok????cool here we go. 

ps. the songs are not in order because I am a mess and it shows LLOOOOOLLL

False God. (13)

religion’s in your lips, even if it’s a false God, we’d still worship. We might get away with it. The altar is my hips.

I know heaven is a thing. I go there when you touch me honey, hell is when I’m fighting with you.

first of all I need an ambulance because when Taylor references anything sexual it does things to me cause OMG YES MAAM. The altar part had me ON THE FLOOR and the heaven and hell made me a new person.

Paper Rings. (8)

I want to drive away with you, I want your complications too, I want your dreary Mondays, wrap your arms around me baby boy

When I got home I tried to stalk you on the internet, now I’ve read all the books beside your bed.

Now I wake up at night and watch you breath.

You’re the one I want; in paper rings, in picture frames, in dirty dream (in all my dreams)

this songs makes me SOFT ok ???? the little insights we get about her relationship make feel I don't know lucky?? like I know she is sharing this with the whole world but still?? like how sweet is this ??? like she went from wanting to know everything about him after they met to now knowing all of the books he reads in his spare time. I can't handle this my poor HEARTTTTT

Cornelia Street. (9)

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go.As if the streetlights pointed in an arrowhead, leading as home.

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends. I’d never walk Cornelia street again. That’s thinking of heartbreak time could never mend. 

Barefoot in the kitchen, sacred new beginnings that became my religion, listen.

So barefoot in the kitchen ???? Im sorry but after the master piece that is All Too Well I’ve realized that to Tay Tay kitchens are internet places she shares sweet moments with people she loves and the fact that they're barefoot?? just shows how at home and intimate that moment is. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner thx. 

London Boy. (11)

But something happened, I heard him laughing. I saw the dimples first and then I heard the accent. They say home is where the heart is but thats not where mine lives (but god I love the English)

Like a child when our eyes meet. Darling I fancy you.

So I guess the rumors are true. You know I love a London boy.

first of all. IS THAT HIM AT THE BEGINING ???? cause maam i know understand the accent thing good lord. Second. I know she loves him but the fact that she plainly says it in a song??? im crying and so so happy for her. LASTLY how does one stay calm after taylor swit writes a song about you like that?? like i need to know hoe Joe reacted cause holy shit. ALSO THIS SONG IS SUCH A BOP.

Death by a Thousand Cuts. (10)

Cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby.

But if the story is over why I’m I still writing pages?

My heart, my hips, my body, my love. I’m still trying to find a part of me you didn't touch.

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand, paper cut stings from my paper thins plans. 

Gave you so much, but it wasn’t enough. But I’ll be alright, It’s juts death by a thousand cuts.

her mind y'all. her lyrics??? even more so. like the way taylor writes just amazes me, the way she puts words together that hurt ?? that make you smile?? and cry?? that woman has a gift and is A gift. also guys. the writing pages part touched my little heart. cause i felt that. 

Afterglow. (15)

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves.

Why’d I have to break what I love so much?

I’m the one who burned this down. But it’s not what I meant. Sorry that I hurt you, I don't wanna do this to you, I don't want to lose this with you. 

It’s so excruciating to see you low, just want to lift you up and never let you go.

Tell me I am all you want, even when I break your heart.

this song broke my heart a little. so much damn vulnerability in these lyrics give me chills. she's so open and i HURTTTT. like he's in pain and she's in pain because of that and now im in pain because of them and once again crying and omg what’s new. nothings new. Im crying over one of taylor’s songs again.

Daylight. (18)

I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye.

I wounded the good, but trust the wicked. Clearing the air, I breathed in the smoke.

I can still see it all in my mind. All of you, all of me intertwined. I once believed love would be black and white. But it’s golden

I can still see it all in my head. Back-and-Forth from New York, sneaking in your bed. I once believed that love would be burning red like its golden.

I want to be defined by the things I love not the things I hate. Not the things that I’m afraid of. I’m afraid of the things that haunt me in the middle of the night.

I just think that You Are What You Love.

the fact that this song is what closes the album makes me emo. its such a wonderful conclusion and such and explanation of the last couple of years and the reference to RED??? I was NOT prepared. Also the last line tugged at my heart strings because I believe that with every little fiber of my being.

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince. (7)

American Glory faded before me, Now I’m feeling hopeless.

My team is losing, battered and bruising. I see the high fives between the bad guys.

Boys will be boys then. Where are the wise men? Darling, I’m scared.

Cause I know this is a fight, that some day we’re gonna win.

y'all. I am so so so proud of the fact that Taylor now uses her platform to speak about what she believes is right and wrong. she no longer story quiet. she backs up her people and advocates and that is so so so important in todays world. because people listen, and people watch and sometimes they need that someone to speak up so they can know whats happening out there. and the political message of this song got me. America is a mess, and as a person that lives in one its states im scared. but this song gives me hope. cause eventually we will win. we will see the light. and i can't wait for that day. also the boy will be boys?? shit that got me. screw that excuse.

Soon You’ll get Better. (12)

In doctor’s office lighting I didn't tell you I was scared.

Desperate people find faith, so now I pray to Jesus too.

And I say to you, ohh soon you’ll get better, ohh you get better soon, cause you have to.

I know delusion when I see in in the mirror.

You make the best of a bad deal, I just pretend it isn't real.

I hate that I make this all about me. But who I’m I supposed to talk to? What I’m I supposed to do? If there is no you.

Im sorry. But as someone that has lost her dad thanks to an illness this made me sob. I don't think I’ve cried this hard since the last time I listen to Ronan. holy damn. I am so glad Andrea is better because the pain of losing a parent beats every hear break. But with every lyric I related a little more, and maybe not the part where she got better but wow. It got me and it broke me na made me a little happy. Taylor this was beautiful. thank you.

It’s Nice to have a Friend. (17)

20 questions, we the the truth.

Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand.

Call my bluff, call you babe. Have my back, yeah, everyday.

this song was so sweet and simple with so much of that child innocence that it  makes me wish I had simple teenage years and not the mess they were looooll, This song is truly so sweet guys, like cotton candy sweet. 

You Need to Calm Down. (14)

Say it in the street thats a knock out, but you say it in a tweet thats a cop out.

But I’ve learned the lesson that stressing and obsessing about somebody else is no fun.

You need to calm down, you're being too loud.

And control your urges to scream about all the people you hate. Because shade never made anybody less gay.

this song is savagery and I LOVE IT. yeah you call people out Taylor, cause holy damn this was great. I took me a minute to get the fast parts but guys i got it downnnn and the song makes me JAMMMM. You go queen Taylor, you’ve won your crown, ily.

Me! (16)

Baby doll, when It comes to a lover I promise that you’ll never find another like me.

I know I tend to make it about me. I know you never get just what you see, but I will never bore you baby. 

And when we had that fight out in the rain, you ran after me and called my name. I never want to see you walk away.

Living in Winter, I am your Summer.

This song gave me such a laugh when it first came out, its freaking awesome (get it ????) but guys did the ran after me and called my name gave me such Mine vibes that I had to go and watch the video after cause damn. I love when lyrics bring me back to old albums, specially when the songs have two completely different tones in the story telling side.

I Forgot that You Existed. (1)

Lived in the shade you were throwing till all of my sunshine was gone.

Your name on my lips. tongue tied. Free rent living in my mind.

I forgot that you existed. And I though that it would kill me but it didn't. 

I forgot that you existed. It isn't love, it isn’t hate its just indifference. 

Sent me  a clear message, taught me some hard lessons. I just forgot what they were.

THIS SONG IS SUCH A MOOD yallllll, like byeee you hurt me? were my friend once??? tried to play me ???? CHAUUUU ADIOOSS like wow this not only a bomb but can easily be an anthem. Also I love shady taylor.

Cruel Summer. (2)

What doesn't kill me, makes me want you more.

And it’s new, the shape of your body, its blue. The feeling I got and it’s ooh.

No rules in a breakable heaven but, ooh. It’s a cruel summer with you.

I’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone.

And I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you.

And I scream “For what it’s worth” “I love you, ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” He looks up grinning like a devil.

A MF BOP OK???? the ohhhs had be screaming and the lyrics had me grinning. Also i need background .... secrets ??? what was he lying about??? and was her first i love you this dramatic ??? who knows, but I am so enthralled. Also its been decided that breakable heaven equals new scared oasis and OMG. Also the color blue has been mentioned so many times in this album anyone know what kind of easter egg that is ??? cause I’m lost.  like is it about Joe’s eyes?? cause honey honestly same. 

Lover. (3)

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years.

Can we always be this close? forever and ever?

I’ve love you 3 summers now honey, but I want them all.

With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover.

My heart has been borrowed and your has been blue. All’s well that ends well to end up with you.

And you’ll say all of your dirtiest jokes for me, and at every table I’ll save you a seat.

mark my words. the day i get married this will be what i dance to on my first dance. if my spouse doesn't like it we are just gonna have to settle and do it anyway. this song is so timeless and the lyrics so soft, like i feel like i’m in love and so single. like c’mon lets dance around in the kitchen in the refrigerator light to this song because i am in my FEEELSSSSSS. (also y'all the reference to her scars from writing all those heart breaking songs??? i need to hug her.)

The Man. (4)

They’d say I played the field before I found someone to comment to, and that would be okay for me to do. Every conquest I had made made would make me more of a boss to you.

I’s be a fearless leader, I’s be an alpha type.

Wondering if I’s get here quicker If I was man.

I’m so sick of them coming at me again, cause if I was a man I’s be The Man

If I was flashing my dollars I’s be a bitch not a baller. They paint me out to be bad, so it’s okay that I’m mad.

BIG DICK ENERGY TAYLOR. y'all she’s so not wrong, 75% of the shot she has gotten about what she does she would have gotten praises for if she was a dude. i love love love how she is calling sexism out in this song.as much as it is progressive times and what not she is explaining the kind work we live in to those that don’t understand and YESSSS BAD BITCH TAY. WE STAN. (we have for 13 years but ya know who is counting)

The Archer. (5)

I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you.

I never grew up, it’s getting so old. 

All of my heroes die all alone, help me hold on to you.

Cause all of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you. 

Who could ever leave me darling? But who could stay? you could stay.

This song omg.... the music makes me melt first of all, and then the lyrics break me. like she is so clearly explain that she's doing all she can not lose him. explains how her best friends have betrayed her and how the people she had high regard for also hurt her and omg so open and honest my heart bleedddss. The heroes part also makes me feel like she's telling him that she sees him as one of her heroes which is why she asking for help to not lose him (i could be reaching buuttt) and I don't know how to deal with my emotions right now. 

I Think He Knows. (6)

I think he knows that his hands around a cold glass, make me wanna know that body like it’s mine.

want to see what’s under that attitude. I want you, bless my soul.

I think he knows he better lock it down or I won't stick around ‘cause good ones never wait.

He is so obsessed with me, and boy I understand. 

yallllll this songgggg. the innuendo ??? i love ittttttt. also I love the fact that she knows her worth. That she finally understand who she is in a relationship and is able to realize that she is a good one, that if she is not happy she can leave. AND THAT AMKES ME SO PROUD CAUSE TAYLOR YOU ARE SO AMAZING.

And thats the end of it folks. I waited so long for this album... had so many count downs and bless me for living in Hawaii were I go the album on the 22 at 6pm thanks to time differences. 

CONCLUSION: LOVER IS A MASTER PIECE AND EVERY SINGLE SONG IS SO AMAZING AND THERES NOT A SINGLE SONG BEING SKIPPED WHEN LISTENING.

#so yeah guys stream lover cause its awesome #who wants to go karaoke now #also guaranteed i know very song now #taylorswift #Lover #taylorlurking #ts #seventh album #13

[ohgaylor]

Pt. 2 of That’s Gay Tay — a list of 🌈 lyrics Taylor has written (that are either queer-coded, implicit, or otherwise explicitly gay)

*disclaimer — this is a massively long post but that’s precisely the point. I hope you enjoy the richness of her music through this lens as much as I enjoyed compiling it. And be sure to click Keep Reading for the full, thorough, beautiful list. (ps. it may glitch and not show the full list, but it should end with Daylight) ☀️

Wonderland — “Too in love to think straight”

I Wish You Would — “We’re a crooked love in a straight line down”

Love Story (original) — “This love is different, but it's real”

Welcome To New York — “Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats under coats”

Me! — “But one of these things is not like the others, like a rainbow with all of the colors."

The Very First Night — “We broke the status quo”

Better Off — “We don't have to do things their way”

Forever Winter — “It’s not just a phase I’m in”

invisible string — “Time, wondrous time gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies”

Welcome To New York — “And you can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls."

ME! — “And you're the kinda guy the ladies want (And there's a lotta cool chicks out there)”

long story short — “The knife cuts both ways”

Vigilante Shit — “I don’t dress for women, I don’t dress for men”

Out Of The Woods — “The rest of the world was black and white. But we were in screaming color”

illicit affairs — “You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else... You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else”

Daylight — “I once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden“

Crazier — “You showed me somethin' that I couldn't see, you opened my eyes, and you made me believe”

Question…? — “We had one thing goin' on I swear that it was somethin' cause I don't remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I've searched for since”

State of Grace — “So you were never a saint, and I loved in shades of wrong. We learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts. But this love is brave and wild”

A Place In This World — “Trying to see through the rain coming down even though I'm not the only one who feels the way I do”

Holy Ground — “Yeah, you skip the conversation when you already know”

cowboy like me — “Takes one to know one, you’re a cowboy like me”

So It Goes… — “'Cause, baby, I know what you know. We can feel it”

Message In A Bottle — “I know that you like me and it's kinda frightenin' standin' here waitin', waitin'”

Crazier — “I'd never gone with the wind, just let it flow, let it take me where it wants to go 'til you open the door, there's so much more I'd never seen it before. I was tryin' to fly but I couldn't find wings, but you came along and you changed everything”

Treacherous — “Forever going with the flow But you're friction”

the 1 — “We never painted by the numbers, baby, but we were making it count”

The Other Side of the Door — “All I need is on the other side of the door”

invisible string — “And it's cool, baby, with me”

Don’t Blame Me — “Something happened for the first time”

Holy Ground — “We had this big wide city all to ourselves. We blocked the noise with the sound of, "I need you" and for the first time, I had something to lose”

Cruel Summer — “And it's new, the shape of your body”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “I picked the petals, he loves me not. Something different bloomed”

Hits Different — “Movin' on was always easy for me to do. It hits different, it hits different 'cause it's you”

ivy — “I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed”

Getaway Car — “I knew it from the first Old Fashioned, we were cursed”

ivy — “Tarnished but so grand”

Don’t Blame Me — “For you, I would cross the line”

Don’t Blame Me — “I would fall from grace just to touch your face”

Question…? — “Do you wish you could still touch her? … Did you realize, out of time, she was on your mind”

cardigan — “But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs”

Labyrinth — “I'll be gettin' over you my whole life”

Bigger Than The Whole Sky — “And I've got a lot to pine about. I've got a lot to live without”

ivy — “I just sit here and wait, grieving for the living”

the 1 — “It would've been fun If you would've been the one”

Hits Different — “And I felt you and I held you for a while”

‘tis the damn season — “And the road not taken looks real good now, and it always leads to you and my hometown“

Midnight Rain — “So I peered through a window, a deep portal, time travel, all the love we unravel”

The Great War — “I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone”

Death By A Thousand Cuts — “I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up. Chandelier's still flickering here”

illicit affairs — “And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times”

dress — “Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try and if I get burned, at least we were electrified”

I Did Something Bad — “They say I did something bad. Then why's it feel so good?”

Treacherous — “This hope is treacherous, this daydream is dangerous”

gold rush — “I can't dare to dream about you anymore”

Mastermind — “Once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned. You and I ended up in the same room, at the same time”

King of My Heart — “And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for”

The Archer — “Combat, I'm ready for combat. I say I don't want that, but what if I do?”

22 — “You look like bad news I gotta have you”

gold rush — “Walk past, quick brush I don't like slow motion, double vision in rose blush”

I Know Places — “It's a scene and we're out here in plain sight I can hear them whisper as we pass by... Something happens when everybody finds out. See the vultures circling, dark clouds”

Cornelia Street — “You hold my hand on the street”

All Of The Girls — “We’re sneakin’ out into town, holding hands, just killing time”

Wonderland — “Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds?”

Sparks Fly — “And you stood there in front of me, just close enough to touch”

Enchanted — “The lingering question kept me up 2AM, who do you love?”

the 1 — “I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?”

Treacherous — “Put your lips close to mine, as long as they don’t touch... And I'll do anything you say if you say it with your hands”

Untouchable — “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky. I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why I'm caught up in you”

Message In A Bottle — “I'm reachin' for you, terrified”

The Great War — “My hand was the one you reached for”

Delicate — “Sometimes, when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine all the damn time”

Gorgeous — “There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have”

You Belong With Me — “Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time”

Angelina — “He’s got everything you’d wanna be... Watch him run across to Angelina, But I won’t cause I have always been a bit reckless”

ivy — “My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, taking mine, but it's been promised to another”

august — “Your back beneath the sun, wishin' I could write my name on it”

Gorgeous — “You've ruined my life by not being mine”

willow — “Lost in your current like a priceless wine”

ivy — “Oh, I can't stop you putting roots in my dreamland. My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered”

You All Over Me — “I've still got you all over me”

Maroon — “And I wake with your memory over me”

Delicate — “Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? ‘cause I know that it's delicate”

Cruel Summer — “And I scream, ‘For whatever it's worth, I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?’”

Snow On The Beach — “You wanting me, tonight feels impossible”

The Other Side of the Door — “All I really want is you To stand outside my window throwin' pebbles, screamin', "I'm in love with you"

Glitch — “We were supposed to be just friends… I think there’s been a glitch”

Welcome Distraction — “I can’t win, so I give in. The more I fight, it just gets stronger. You’re an inconvenient kind of satisfaction, welcome distraction”

The Very First Night — “And so it was, we never saw it coming. Not trying to fall in love but we did like children running”

You Are In Love — “Pauses, then says ‘You’re my best friend’”

Paper Rings — “I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this”

Maroon — “Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend”

Dress — “Say my name and everything just stops. I don't want you like a best friend. Only bought this dress so you could take it off”

Dress — “All of this silence and patience, pining and anticipation. My hands are shaking from holding back from you.”

Don’t Blame Me — “Shaking, pacin', I just need you”

illicit affairs — “clandestine meetings and longing stares”

ivy — “How's one to know? I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith-forgotten land”

Delicate — “Come here, you can meet me in the back”

willow — “Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark”

Lavender Haze — “Meet me at midnight”

You Are In Love — “One look, dark room, meant just for you”

So It Goes… — “See you in the dark, all eyes on you, my magician”

We Were Happy — “No one could touch the way we laughed in the dark”

Gorgeous — “And you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room”

ivy — “Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow”

Mastermind — “And the touch of a hand lit the fuse”

It’s Nice To Have A Friend — “Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand”

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve — “If you never touched me, I would've gone along with the righteous. if I never blushed, then they could've never whispered about this”

willow — “I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans”

Death By A Thousand Cuts — “Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand”

…Ready for It? — “In the middle of the night, in my dreams, I know I'm gonna be with you, so I take my time”

gold rush — “I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush”

Dress — “Our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you”

Dress — “Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothin'”

Hits Different — “I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car”

Cruel Summer — “I'm drunk in the back of the car And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar. Said, "I'm fine, " but it wasn't true. I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you”

Invisible — “We could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable, instead of just invisible”

Crazier — “Baby, you showed me what livin' is for, I don't wanna hide anymore”

King of My Heart — “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep”

Dear Reader — “Dear reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets”

All Of The Girls — “Secret jokes all alone”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “I, I loved you in secret, first sight, yeah, we love without reason”

…Ready For It — “Lights down low, no one has to know”

Wildest Dreams — “I said, ‘No one has to know what we do’”

I Can See You — “What would you do if they never found us out? What would you do if we never made a sound?”

The Very First Night — “No one knows about the words that we whisper, no one knows how much I miss you”

Last Kiss — “The words that you whispered for just us to know”

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things — “I'm laughing with my lover, makin' forts under covers”

Paris — “Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world. Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours”

You Are In Love — “You can hear it in the silence, you can feel it on the way home.”

peace — “Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other”

Dear Reader — “I prefer hiding in plain sight”

Don’t Blame Me — “In the darkest little paradise”

happiness — “Showed you all of my hiding spots”

The Archer — “Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?”

Cruel Summer — “And I snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate”

Love Story — “So I sneak out to the garden to see you. We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew, so close your eyes. Escape this town for a little while”

Question...? — “Did you lеave her house in the middle of the night?”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “I see the great escape, so long, Daisy May”

Our Song — “Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window”

willow — “Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneakin' in, as if you were a mythical thing”

Daylight — “Back and forth from New York (Sneaking in your bed)”

All Too Well — “And there we are again when nobody had to know… you kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath”

Cornelia Street — “Sacred new beginnings that became my religion”

False God — “The altar is my hips, even if it's a false god, we'd still worship this love”

So It Goes… — “And wear you like a necklace”

I Know Places — “I know places we won't be found, and they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down, I know places we can hide”

cardigan — “But I knew you, playing hide-and-seek and giving me your weekends”

‘tis the damn season — “You could call me "babe" for the weekend“

King Of My Heart — “You try on callin' me "baby" like tryin' on clothes”

peace — “All these people think love’s for show but I would die for you in secret”

hoax — “Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in”

ivy — “I'd live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time”

Wildest Dreams — “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds”

gold rush — “And the coastal town we wandered 'round had nеver seen a love as pure as it”

Hits Different — “Freedom felt like summеr then on the coast”

Getaway Car — “It was the great escape, the prison break, the light of freedom on my face”

Run — “Darling, let's run, run from it all. we can go where our eyes can take us, go where no one else is”

Love Story — “Take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run”

Just South Of Knowing Why — “She looked at her keys and found a reason to run”

Call It What You Want — “You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?"

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince — “Voted most likely to run away with you”

Better Man — “I know the bravest thing I ever did was run”

Blank Space — “Love’s a game, wanna play?”

…Ready For It — “Baby, let the games begin”

This Is Why We Cant Have Nice Things — “I want to wear his initial on a chain 'round my neck, because he owns me, but 'cause he really knows me, which is more than they can say”

King of My Heart — “'Cause all the boys and their expensive cars, with their Range Rovers and their Jaguars, never took me quite where you do”

The Lucky One — “And your lover in the foyer doesn't even know you”

Cruel Summer — “Bad, bad boy, Shiny toy with a price. You know that I bought it”

exile — “I can see you starin', honey, like he's just your understudy, like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me”

right where you left me — “Wages earned and lessons learned”

All Of The Girls — “Fake love out on the town”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends from home don’t know what to say”

Midnight Rain — “He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain. He wanted a bride, I was making my own name, chasing that fame”

Hits Different — “I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost”

Better Than Revenge — “Soon she's gonna find stealing other people's toys on the playground won't make you many friends”

Blank Space — “Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane. But I've got a blank space, baby and I'll write your name”

Getaway Car — “I wanted to leave him, I needed a reason”

Don’t Blame Me — “Toyin' with them older guys, just playthings for me to use.”

Bejeweled — “And when I meet the band, they ask, ‘Do you have a man?’ I could still say, ‘I don’t remember’”

All Of The Girls — “Cryin’ in the bathroom for some dude whose name I cannot remember now”

Gorgeous — “And I got a boyfriend, he's older than us. He's in the club doin' I don't know what”

cowboy like me — “Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con”

cowboy like me — “I've got some tricks up my sleeve”

Dear Reader — “Dear reader, if it feels like a trap, you're already in one”

long story short — “Now I'm all about you I'm all about you”

I Did Something Bad — “I never trust a playboy, but they love me. So I fly 'em all around the world and I let them think they saved me”

I Think He Knows — “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans”

Mastermind — “What if I told you I'm a mastermind? And now you're mine. It was all by dеsign”

willow — “Every bait-and-switch was a work of art”

long story short — “And he’s passing by, rare as the glimmer of a comet in the sky”

Snow On The Beach — “I saw flecks of what could've been lights, but it might just have been you”

cowboy like me — “And the ladies lunching have their stories about when you passed through town”

False God — “We might just get away with it”

cowboy like me — “Perched in the dark tellin’ all the rich folks anything they wanna hear like it could be love, I could be the way forward, only if they pay for it.”

Glitch — “I'd go back to wanting dudes who give nothing”

Lavender Haze — “No deal The 1950s shit they want from me I just wanna stay in that lavender haze”

Blank Space — “New money, suit and tie. I can read you like a magazine”

cowboy like me — “Never wanted love, just a fancy car”

Midnight Rain — “I guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted”

cardigan — “Chasin' shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired”

Lavender Haze — “Talk your talk and go viral I just need this love spiral. Get it off your chest, get it off my desk”

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things — “And here’s to my baby. He ain’t reading what they call me lately”

Blank Space — “You can tell me when it's over, mmm. If the high was worth the pain”

… Ready For It? — “I see nothing better, I keep him forever like a vendetta-ta”

long story short — “If the shoe fits walk in it ‘til your high heals break”

cowboy like me — “ And the old men that I've swindled really did believe I was the one”

Hits Different — “Rip the band-aid off and skip town likе an asshole outlaw”

Lavender Haze — “All they keep asking me iIs if I'm gonna be your bride. The only kinda girl they see is a one-night or a wife”

Dear Reader — “To a house, not a home, all alone 'cause nobody's there”

High Infidelity — “Storm coming, good husband, bad omen. Dragged my feet right down the aisle. At the house lonely, good money. I'd pay if you'd just know me. Seemed like the right thing at the time.”

Sweet Nothing — “All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'”

Out Of The Woods — “Are we out of the woods? Are we in the clear yet?”

You Are In Love — “You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round”

I Know Places — “'Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns They are the hunters, we are the foxes and we run”

So It Goes… — “Gold cage, hostage to my feelings”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “Picture of your face in an invisible locket”

Run — “And the note from the locket, you keep it in your pocket since I gave it to you”

cowboy like me — “And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up”

seven — “And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates. Then you won't have to cry or hide in the closet”

this is me trying — “They told me all of my cages were mental, so I got wasted like all my potential”

champagne problems — “Your hometown skeptics called it champagne problems”

Midnight Rain — “My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences, pageant queens and big pretenders but for some, it was paradise”

dorothea — “skippin' the prom Just to piss off your mom and her pageant schemes”

New Romantics — “The rumors are terrible and cruel, But, honey, most of them are true."

End Game — “Reputation precedes me, in rumors, I'm knee-deep”

End Game — “Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “People started talking, putting us through our paces. I knew there was no one in the world who could take it”

Paris — “I want to transport you to somewhere the culture’s clever, confess my truth in swooping, sloping, cursive letters”

Run — “We shouldn't be in this town”

You’re On Your Own Kid — “I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out”

the lakes — “I don’t belong and my beloved, neither do you”

the 1 — “You know the greatest films of all time were never made”

The Archer — “'Cause cruelty wins in the movies”

exile — “I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending”

The Archer — “And all of my heroes die all alone. Help me hold on to you”

Message In A Bottle — “'Cause you could be the one that I love, I could be the one that you dream of”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us”

Better Off — “Somehow it feels like we're flying, don't want to come down. But they make it so tough cause everyone we know is trying to push us apart hide it down in our hearts”

Question...? — “Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room and every single one of your friends was makin' fun of you? But fifteen seconds later, thеy were clappin' too?”

the lakes — “I'm not cut out for all these cynical clones these hunters with cell phones”

Run — “This thing was a shot in the dark. Say you'll never let 'em tear us apart”

tolerate it — “I know my love should be celebrated but you tolerate it”

ivy — “What would he do if he found us out?”

Ours — “Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves, they’ll judge it like they know about me and you”

New Romantics — “'Cause baby, I could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me”

ivy — “So yeah, it's a war. It's the goddamn fight of my life, and you started it.”

You Are In Love — “And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars, and why I've spent my whole life tryin' to put it into words”

Change — “Can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win.”

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince — “And I'll never let you (go) 'cause I know this is a (fight) that someday we're gonna (win)”

Afterglow — “This ultraviolet morning light below tells me this love is worth the fight”

long story short — “When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door. And we live in peace but if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready”

dorothea — “Are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers?”

betty — “If I showed up at your party, would you have me, would you want me?”

Maroon — “The lips I used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon”

So It Goes… — “Lipstick on your face”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied — “Could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets”

You All Over Me — “With your hands in your pockets and your "Don't you wish you had me?" grin. Well I did, so I smiled and I melted like a child”

champagne problems — “November flush and your flannel cure”

gold rush — “What must it be like to grow up that beautiful? With your hair falling into place like dominoes”

Style — “You got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt”

Gorgeous — “You’re so gorgeous, can’t say anything to your face, ‘cause look at your face”

Paris — “I'm so in love that I might stop breathing”

I’d Lie — “I'm holding every breath for you”

Crazier — “Feels like I'm fallin' and I am lost in your eyes”

gold rush — “Gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting, I almost jump in

Delicate — “Do the girls back home touch you like I do?”

Tear Drops on My Guitar — “I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about”

I’d Lie — “His sister's beautiful”

Me And Britney — “Me and Britney used to sit on the front porch drinking lemonade, talking 'bout things no one else was ever supposed to hear in the summer shade”

seven — “Cross your heart, won't tell no other, and though I can’t recall your face I still got love for you. Your braids like a pattern. Love you to the Moon and to Saturn”

Cross My Heart — “So I cross my heart and hope for you, knock on wood and rope the moon”

This Is What You Came For — “Lightning strikes every time she moves and everybody’s watching her but she’s looking at you”

Hits Different — “Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief in the good in the world”

Angelina — “Angelina’s got a pretty face And really long brown hair”

dorothea — “It's never too late to come back to my side, the stars in your eyes shined brighter in Tupelo. And if you're ever tired of bеin' known for who you know, you know that you'll always know me”

I Know Places — “And you know for me, it's always you”

Hits Different — “You were the one that I loved”

ivy — “He wants what’s only yours”

Me and Britney — “That boy she ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy. Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney”

Vigilante Shit — “Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife”

betty — “Slept next to her, but I dreamt of you all summer long”

Haunted — “And he just might make me smile but the whole time, I'm wishing he was you instead”

Just South of Knowing Why — “I could tell that her smile was only something to hide behind, she felt so out of touch, because she just felt too much”

‘tis the damn season — “And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'“

The Way I Loved You — “He can't see the smile I'm faking and my heart's not breaking, ‘cause I'm not feeling anything at all”

Teardrops on My Guitar — “fake a smile so he won’t see”

Nothing New — “And my cheeks are growing tired from turning red and faking smiles”

exile — “I can see you standing, honey with his arms around your body, laughin', but the joke's not funny at all”

Mine — “I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter. She is the best thing that's ever been mine”

King of My Heart — “Up on the roof with a school girl crush”

Karma — “Sweet like justice, karma is a queen”

How You Get The Girl — “And you were too afraid to tell her what you want... I would wait forever and ever And that's how it works. That's how you get the girl”

cardigan — “Chase two girls, lose the one”

Hits Different — “Bet I could still melt your world argumentative, antithetical dream girl”

The Man — “What's it like to brag about raking in dollars, and getting bitches and models?”

The Great War — “And maybe it was egos swinging, maybe it was her”

The Other Side of the Door — “With your face and the beautiful eyes, and the conversation with the little white lies, and the faded picture of a beautiful night. You carried me from your car up the stairs. And I broke down crying, was she worth this mess? After everything and that little black dress, after everything I must confess, I need you”

Our Song — “Man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have”

Tim McGraw — “I hope you think that little black dress, think of my head on your chest, and my old faded blue jeans”

evermore — “sending signals to be double-crossed”

Anti-Hero — “I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis”

exile — “I gave so many signs”

The Archer — “And I cut off my nose just to spite my face, then I hate my reflection for years and years”

Anti-Hero — “I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero”

Dear Reader — “Never take advice from someone who's falling apart”

coney island — “And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?“

mirrorball — “I'll show you every version of yourself tonight”

The Archer — “I’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches I almost said to you”

evermore — “I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong. Writing letters addressed to the fire.”

The Archer — “The room is on fire, invisible smoke”

Clean — “I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing”

The Great War — “Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked, spineless in my tomb of silence”

long story short — “Misery Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep”

peace — “I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near”

Sweet Nothing — “And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more" to you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it”

Dear Reader — “Dear reader, you don't have to answer just 'cause they asked you”

this is me trying — “And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway”

Anti-Hero — “One day I'll watch as you're leaving ‘cause you got tired of my scheming, for the last time”

long story short — “I tried to pick my battles 'til the battle picked me”

coney island — “Sorry for not making you my centerfold”

High Infidelity — “You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love. The slowest way is never loving them enough”

coney island — “But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name”

Dear Reader — “These desperate prayers of a cursed man spilling out to you for free, but darling, darling, please, you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking if you knew where I was walking”

Daylight — “There are so many lines that I've crossed unforgiven“

High Infidelity — “You said I was freeloading … I bent the truth too far tonight, I was dancing around, dancing around it”

coney island — “Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?”

this is me trying —“Pouring out my heart to a stranger, but I didn't pour the whiskey”

Picture To Burn — “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy. That's fine, I'll tell mine you're gay.”

High Infidelity — “Lock broken, slur spoken”

You Need To Calm Down — “Can you just not step on our gowns?”

You Need To Calm Down — “Why are you mad when you could be GLAAD?”

You Need To Calm Down — “Cause shade never made anybody less gay”

the 1 — “Rosé flowing with your chosen family”

Maroon — “And I chose you The one I was dancing with In New York”

peace — “Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother”

right where you left me — “I swear you could hear a hair pin drop”

The Great War — “Your finger on my hairpin triggers”

willow — “They count me out time and time again”

Hey Stephen — “I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out. And pull me near and shine, shine, shine”

Dear Reader — “You should find another guiding light, guiding light But I shine so bright”

Daylight — “I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night. And now I see daylight"

Daylight — “You gotta step into the daylight and let it go”

#gaytay #enjooooooooyyy #long post #masterpost #taylor swift #gaylor #taylor honey your gay is loud again #mine #lyric*connections #I sure hope you all appreciate and love this as much as I do because it was fun but a lot of work to compile! #gaylor masterpost #taylor swift lyrics #gaylor swift masterpost #wonderland #I wish you would #love story #parallels #debut #fearless #speak now #red #1989 #reputation #lover #folklore #evermore #midnights #ohgaylor

[ohgaylor]

illicit affairs // Out of the Woods // Wonderland (original lyric) // Question…? (all lyric connections)

#lyric*connections #taylor swift #mine #illicit affairs #out of the woods #question…? #wonderland #original lyrics #parallels #gaylor #Taylor honey your gay is loud again