#tags that i just copy pasted when i knew i had too much to say for tags

[myfictionaldreams]

Hey :) i would love to ask for a spicy Lucius Malfoy x Reader ☺️ something like Reader is a young Teacher in Hogwarts and Lucius and her are having an (very serious) affair (takes Place in the chamber of secrets).

The School Governor //Lucius Malfoy x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I've never written Lucius before, but hopefully, you'll enjoy it!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, infidelity/cheating, secret relationship, rough sex, creampie, fingering, squirting, tension, praise kink, size difference, Narcissa bashing (sorry!), kissing, fluff/angst

Words: 2.8k

my masterlist 📚

AO3 Link

“Are you sure you’re supposed to be here at this time of day, Mr Malfoy?”

The corner of the man’s lip twitched up like he was trying to smile but attempting to conceal it by remaining stoic. You were then faced with his signature sneer, those piercing grey eyes wandering over your appearance as if he was assessing whether he even wanted to waste his time. “It seems I’ve become lost on my travels around Hogwarts. Might you show me the way out?” Lucius asked with disdain thick in his voice

“Of course, Sir. Just this way”, you pointed in the direction you’d just walked from. No one even blinked an eye in either of your directions as you led him away from the grouping of students who were all on their way to bed as the night drew closer to curfew.

Your head remained forward, not once looking over your shoulder to check if he was following as you knew that he would be. You thanked Merlin for having an office so far away from students and other professors as the main offices were already lived in. You were new to the school, recently hired to assist Madam Pomfrey with Herbology, as she was too busy trying to attend to the Mandrakes.

The job may have been due to the recommendations of the man following closely behind you, his cane clicking against the stone floor and billowing close, switching the dust in whichever direction he turned.

As you both approached further towards the greenhouses and, thus, your office, there was a blossoming of heat and anticipation spreading from the centre of your chest to the tip of your toes. This was always something that your body seemed to do whenever within arms reach of the school’s governor. Moreover, he always seemed to be at the school nowadays, stating that he was there on school business, especially with the latest attacks on the students.

This is just an excuse, however, pretending to look around the school to catch the Headmaster in a scheme, but really, he would be sneaking to your classroom, office or meeting in the Forbidden Forest.

It was wrong. More than wrong. He had a wife, whom he was incredibly unhappy with, having been forced into a marriage as soon as he’d finished his time as a student at Hogwarts. All to abide by the pure blood status and traditions without any sort of say in the matter. Forced to live a life of misery, reproduce and have heirs and then die in a loveless marriage.

This was the only reason you had continued to meet with him. The ache in your heart quickly succumbs to his negative life. You knew he was manipulative, quick-tempered and had questionable ideologies on the dark arts. But when it came to Lucius Malfoy, it was as if your mind purposefully ignored these warning signs, mainly because he never discussed or acted in a horrible way around you.

You were always his peace and tranquillity, his little saviour in the dark before the world's realities came crumbling down around him. There you were, gifted with the raw, passionate, and incredibly loving man who held your hand when walking past, stroking your cheek to catch any slipped tears when it was time to say goodbye for a few more weeks.

It was a complex relationship to have and made even more so when you were now having to teach his son, Draco, who seemed to be a smaller copy of his Father, to be even more arrogant at his young age. It meant that you could give him additional help to boost his grades and, therefore, please his father, which, in turn, helped bring positivity into the secret relationship.

As you were greeted with the view of the long corridor that led to your office, your steps slowed as Lucius snapped, “Dobby. Check the area is clear for any prying eyes”.

With a flash out of the corner of your eyes, Dobby appeared and disappeared, apparating further down the corridor in multiple positions to check if the two of you were truly alone.

“The area is clear, Master”, Dobby approached before disappearing completely. You and Lucius rushed the remaining way to the office. You opened the door wide enough for him to follow through and slammed closed. As your wand waved in front of the handle, thoroughly locking the two of you in, a hand gripped your hip, turning your body so that your back met the door's wood.

A leathery gloved hand then cupped your jaw, tilting your face back so that Lucius could kiss you with as much desperation and urgency as you felt in the centre of your chest. It almost hurt with how much pressure his face was applying to yours, his warm breath fanning across the apple of your cheeks with where his nose was pressing. Your hands lifted to grab any part of him and ended up clinging onto the opening of his cloak, harshly tugging him even closer until there wasn’t a gap between your bodies.

Releasing a soft moan from your throat, this seemed to begin moving further, both gloved hands now cupping both of your cheeks in a safe cocoon as his thumbs caressed careful circles against your skin.

The coldness of the material wasn’t enough to satisfy your need for him as you dipped your head to free your mouth. “Off! I need your clothes off!”

Lucius’s baritone laugh burst across your face as he stepped back to give the two of you some room. “Such a demanding little thing, aren’t you?”

“I am when you’re wearing so many layers! Take them off!”

He chuckles at your reaction once more but finally begins to remove the cloak from his shoulders and gloves from his hands, next attempting to undo the luxurious vest jacket that he wore. The buttons running down the middle were taking too long for him to undo, so you quickly gripped either side of the best and pulled hard, surprised by your strength as the buttons began to pop off and tumble.

“Do you know how expensive this was?” he asked incredulously, but humour still danced behind his bright eyes.

“I’ll fix it at the end”, you say breathlessly, wrapping both arms around his neck and pulling him in for another heated kiss. A perfect mix of lips, teeth and tongue, all moving together, nipping, licking and sucking. Neither mouth pulled apart from the other, making the actions more frantic and chaotic with the attempts to remove more of the clothing articles. Soon, you both became frustrated by the barriers and settled for the basics.

Leaving your jumper and skirt on, you kicked off the shows, tights and underwear you’d been wearing as Lucuius kept his white shirt on but undid his leather belt to loosen his trousers and boxers until they were around his knees.

Lucius pulled back from the heated kiss first, but only so he could turn you around and push you face-first against the door. You huffed at the impact but soon were groaning in pleasure as he lifted your skirt and began to rock his dick against your folds, teasing you with gentle pressure before finding its home in your warm cunt.

“Silenco”, Lucius whispers, waving his hand as the atmosphere becomes dense as the spell renders the area soundproof. With the safety of the spell, your mouth fell open, and a barrel of dirty moans left your lips as you didn’t hold back from telling him how good it felt to be stretched by his cock once more.

Lucius dipped his height so that his forehead could rest against your cheek, breathing heavily as he thrust hard and deep. The pace was bruising to the side of your face, resting against the door, but nothing in the world would get you to stop at that moment. To be able to feel his thick length fucking hard into your pussy was something you craved every day.

As your hand reached the back of his head, gripping his silky white-blond hair, you gasped, “I’ve missed you”.

Lucuius groans as he nuzzles into your neck, biting the skin just below your ear as his arm moves around your waist, angling your hips so your arse is sticking out slightly so he can deepen the thrusts.

“I’ve missed you too, little witch. So much more than you could ever know”. Your heart could have stopped at his words, falling even more in love with him than you had before, which tightened your drenched walls even further around him. “I know you’re close. I want to feel you cum around my cock Darling, cum for me like the good witch I know you are”.

As he praises you, the arm around your waist slips beneath the front of your skirt so that he can roll your clit in circles, matching the pace of his hips. Your thighs tremble, fingers clenching his hair until it hurt, but Lucius didn’t stop until you were crying out in pleasure, cunt clamping in spasms around his length, and he, too, joined you through his own orgasm.

Lucius didn’t stop rolling his hips until you were sated and calm from cumming, and his seed had soaked as deep as he possible, caressing your cervix and then dripping out down your thighs. The two of you sighed in contentment, staying together, pushed against the wall, and just appreciating the moment you had tangled against one another.

“I didn’t expect to see you for at least another week. Have you come because of the attacks?”

“I feel as a good Govenor; my answer should be yes”, he whispered against the shell of your ear, nipping the lobe with his teeth, causing goosebumps to rise down your arms. “I can’t deny, however, that it was you that brought me here. I meant it when I said I missed you”.

Even with his softening cock still inside of you, he knew how to make your knees tremble as you blew out a long breath as you asked, “Can you please stay?”

You could feel his shoulders dropping and knew his answer before he’d even begun to speak, and sadness spread through your body, replacing the euphoric sensation. Lucius gently kissed the back of your head as he carefully eased himself away from you, “I’m sorry, my love, you know I can’t”.

Smiling to hide the upset, you turned to him, “I know. I’m sorry I always ask; I just hope that one day you’ll be able to say yes”.

His warm hands cup your cheeks delicately as you do the same for him, carefully moving some of the messy strands behind his ears. “I’m sorry”, he says earnestly.

“Could you stay for a drink at least?”

“I would never say no to a drink with you”. Lucius began to dress, looking significantly more chaotic than before but always looking crisp before leaving. All you managed to do was pick up your discarded clothes and shows, straighten your jumper and wait for him to wave his wand between your legs, cleaning up the mess he had created with a smile.

Walking further into the office, you entered through the hidden door at the back of the room leading directly into your living area. The fire sparked to life as soon as you stepped onto the roof, instantly filling the vast space with heat and an orange hue. Pouring the both of you a hefty glass of dark liquid, you both cheered the glasses together, taking a deep swig of the alcohol that burned your throat deliciously and then settled into the sofa.

You sat remarkably relaxed with him, leaving your bare legs thrown over his lip as his arm settled around your shoulders to keep you close as you watched the fire lights dancing with the flickers of the flames.

“He’s nearly top of the class, but I think he’d have a hard time trying to best both Longbottom or Granger”, you explained sometime later as Lucius asked how Draco was fairing in your class. The man scoffs, only earning him a slap to his chest, “Hey! They’re my students; stop that”. Thankfully, he held his tongue and didn’t prattle on his biased opinions on pure-bloods or traitors, which he had quickly learnt was nothing you were particularly focused on. “Could I ask about what the governors are going to do about the attacks? I don’t want them to close the school, but it feels so dangerous now that students are being attacked”.

Lucius’ arm tightens around your shoulder as his lips press against your temple. “Nothing will harm you, Darling, and I’ve told you this already: I can’t speak of the Governor meetings. We’re sworn to secrecy”.

“It’s not me I’m worried for. It’s the children. It means - aren’t you worried about Draco?”

Your head tilts back on his arm so you can look up into his effortlessly handsome face, expecting him to be worried. However, he only appeared to be as calm and in control as ever, his grey eyes dancing with yours and the bottom lip you’d tucked between your teeth.

“Not at all. He’s in the safest house with the safest blood. I have no worries for my son”. His answer confused you, but you’d just put it down to his many prejudices and superiority complex. Reach up to stroke the smooth sin of his jaw, and you can’t resist the temptation to lean closer and kiss him deeply, tasting the alcohol on his tongue that matched your own.

“What’s it like?” you ask between kisses, unable to stop yourself from asking. “At home, I mean, what’s it like? Do you have any happiness at all?”

“You know I’m not happy and never will be with her”, he answers abruptly, to look at you with a questioning gaze.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I know you hate her”. You refuse to say her name both from shame and jealousy. “Do you have anything else that brings you joy? I hate the thought of you being alone in a big house with no one to give you any positivity”.

The hand lazily resting across your calves begins to draw circles into the skin as he contemplates his answer. “Without Draco there, I have no one. Narcissa and I may eat meals together, but that’s as far as it goes. We never talk; we even sleep in separate rooms. Everything is always for show, which is why these moments with you, where I get to be with someone I genuinely love, mean the most to me”.

You shake at his words, feeling the edges of your eyes water as you cling to him with even more desperation. What's more, the hand on your calf was beginning to slowly creep up the sensitive area of your inner thigh, distracting you from continuing the conversation as your legs automatically parted, giving him more room.

“Lucius”, you pleaded, eyes following his long fingers, the thick silver ring with the ‘M’ wrapped around his thumb adding extra sensitivity with the coolness of it against your skin.

“Shh, I’ve got you, little witch. Just relax for me”, he whispered against your temple as his fingers finally reached their goal. Your head tipped onto his shoulder as your back arched. All of your thoughts were centred on the skillfully trained fingers as he explored your dampening folds, spreading them with ease to give his middle finger the path to your eagerly awaiting hole.

You were a mewling mess as he eased two fingers into your cunt, coating the digits in your juices and rocking them in and out carefully. Lucius began to move the arm around your shoulders, relaxing his hold so he could lie you down on the sofa as he leaned over you, his mouth hovering just above yours.

“Are you going to be good for me, my Darling?” he asks, his warm breath teasing you once more as your legs try to clamp his hand in place.

“Yes!” Your shout was abrasive, but only because he’d already caused you to become a pathetic mess. Lucius smiled against your lips but didn’t move to kiss you properly as he applied more pressure with his fingers and thumb and stroked your clit.

You could feel his soft hair falling around your face as he began to curl his fingers inside of you, pounding that one spot within you that had you seeing stars. You weren’t able to say a coherent word as moisture squirted from your cunt, coating his fingers and wrist as he continued the action at a hard and fast pace.

The sloshing noise was obscene to your ears as he made you squirt over your thighs, sofa and his black trousers. You weren’t even sure you’d came as everything went from 0-100 with how intense his fingers had made you feel.

When he slowed his curling digits, you were a gooey mess in his arms. A grin erupted across your face as he sighed into the cushions, leaning further into his chest as he kissed your temple, allowing you to catch your breath.

“I must go; it’s getting late. You know I love you, my little witch”.

“I love you too, Mr Malfoy”.

#lucius malfoy #lucius malfoy smut #lucius malfoy x reader #lucius malfoy one shot #harry potter smut #hp smut #mine*

[intoanotherworld23]

Pick Your Battles

Pairing: Reader x Bradley Bradshaw

Warnings: None

Summary: Bradley broke your heart when he accused you of betraying him, and you haven’t seen or spoken to him since. Until you are both called back to Top Gun to help with a dangerous mission that nobody’s ever attempted before

I do not own the rights to these characters or any part of the movie this is simply for entertainment. I hope you guys enjoy this first part, and let me know what you guys think so far!! If you wish to be added to a tag list please don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll be more than happy to add you! Heart it! Reblog it! Enjoy it! XOXO

✨Please do not copy and paste or steal my work or take credit for this without my permission or you will be reported✨

Part 2

It's been too long since you've seen Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw and the thought of his reaction terrified you. Not knowing how he would feel about you returning to Fightertown. Once you got the letter asking you to return you knew without a doubt Bradley would be there. The two of you didn't end things well the last time you saw each other.

Telling him how you felt and his response was not at all what you thought. He suddenly became angry and upset with you. Slamming the door on the way out as you fell on the couch crying your eyes out. Everyone was worried about you after that, but nobody dared to bring his name up to you.

You've known Bradley since you guys were children. After all you were the daughter of Tom Kazansky aka 'Iceman'. Taking after him and becoming top of your class in Top Gun. Earning the call sign of 'Frostbite'. Also, becoming the only female pilot to have three confirmed air to air strike kills. Your father was a legend amongst pilots and you were becoming one now too.

After you and Bradley graduated it seemed like you two became a lot closer. Everyone could see it except for the two of you, until one day Bradley got upset you went on a date with some other guy. Seeing that side of him had you wanting him closer, and into your arms.

It confused you beyond all doubt since you two were just friends, but then it made you realize your true feelings for him. That's when you decided to confess how you felt about him, after a bottle of wine of course.

Now here you were sitting at the bar of the Hard Deck constantly looking back to seeing when he would come in. Sipping on your beer as you nervously looked around at all different kinds of colors laughing and playing pool or shooting darts.

Wondering if these were the pilots you would be training for this mission. Turning down their offer of leading this mission ever since the accident, and settling for being an instructor instead. Your father was not happy about your choice but understood why you did it. Not wanting to lead another mission where someone else dies.

"You okay hon?" Pennys sweet voice asked when she noticed you staring off into space.

"Oh yeah I'm just thinking." Snapping out of it to look at her. "Obviously too hard huh?"

"He's going to be glad to see you." She knew exactly what and who you were thinking about.

"Yeah right he'll walk through that door and see me and walk right out." Groaning at the image and feeling yourself become saddened at the thought.

"No he won't I bet you he'll see you and have that big smile on his face and give you a big Rooster hug." She smiled at you with reassurance making your lips quirk up. "He cares about you."

"Not enough to reach out to me." Shaking your head as you finished the rest of your drink.

"You could have done the same for him." Raising her eyebrows at you with that look of 'it works both ways'. "You two just need to talk."

Not saying anything you just looked at her watching as she went to go help other patrons. Trying to repeat her words in your head that he missed you just as much as you missed him. Although it would be hard for him to forget you confessing your feelings to him. You just don't let something like that be forgotten.

In the deep part of your mind you couldn't help but think he still was upset and would want nothing to do with you. Then the two of you would have to work on this mission ignoring each other, and acting like enemies.

"Y/N?" Instantly recognizing that voice making you turn around and break from your thoughts.

"Uncle Maverick." Exclaiming as you hopped off the stool to give him a hug. "It's so good to see you."

You've known Pete Mitchell ever since you were little, and he was also your Godfather. He was like family to you and whenever you couldn't go to your father you would go to him. He was proud of you when you graduated from Top Gun, reminded him of being with your father.

Of course you knew of the feud between him and Bradley, but you didn't actually know what it was about. All you know is Maverick did something so badly that he wanted nothing to do with him. Then one day Bradley called you screaming if you knew something about his papers being pulled which of course you didn't, but he didn't believe you and continued to yell at you.

It seems like Bradley will have not only one person he can't stand here.

"It's good to see you too." Pulling back so he could sit next to you waving at Penny a blush on her cheek. "How are you?"

"I'm good I'm good." Nodding your head as you looked at your hands on the bar top. It was a lie. "How about you?"

"Well I can't complain." He gave you a nudge making you playfully roll your eyes with a smile. "I'm assuming you got a letter as well."

"Yeah I did and I was asked to be the lead in it." Once he heard that his eyes went wide a huge smile on his face like a proud father.

"Well shit congratulations I'm happy of you." Clapping a hand on your back your face remained stoic.

"I turned it down." Stating to him before he could get anything else out. "I told them I wouldn't lead this mission."

"Why would you do that?" He asked too quickly and saw the look on your face before nodding. "I get it."

Only a few people knew about the accident including Pete, since your father didn't want it to be a public thing which you were kind of thankful for. Seeing as it traumatized you, and never wanting to ever relive that moment again. Not that you were trying to sweep it under the rug you just didn't want someone reminding you of that day.

All of a sudden you heard a bell ringing and both you and Maverick looked up in confusion. Penny standing there with a huge grin on her face as everyone whooped and hollered in joy. She pointed to a sign that said 'disrespect a woman or a pilot or place your phone on the bar top and you pay for a round'.

Looking down you saw Pete's phone on the bar top making your bend your head back in laughter. He just chuckled with a shake of his head as Penny was then bombarded with men and women at the bar.

"Way to go Uncle Mav." Patting him on the back as you continued to laugh. "I'll have another one Penny."

Handing you a bottle you saw a blonde haired man with thick arms in a khaki uniform that you very much recognized walk you up to the bar. His eyes looking at Pete and then shifted over to you a small smirk on his face.

"Four beers Penny please." Looking over to Pete briefly before grabbing his drinks handing them over.

"There ya go." Giving her wonderful smile the mans gaze still lingering on you.

"Thanks hon." He then looked back to Pete. "Thanks for the drinks pops." Giving a wink before he turned around walking back to the other pilots.

"I'll be right back." Hopping off the stool as you headed to the restroom glancing over at the blonde man to see his eyes on you.

The other three guys he was with all looked over to what he was looking at. You hated when people stared at you like that even if they didn't know who you were. Just wanting to keep your last name from being revealed to anybody for as long as possible.

Looking away you went into the bathroom stepping in front of the mirror placing your hands on either side of the sink. Staring at yourself asking yourself if you could really do this.

Could you handle the pressure of this mission? Could you handle being around someone that you love who doesn't feel the same? Starting to doubt yourself even more now, but reminding yourself of Penny's words.

Splashing cold water on your neck you gathered yourself quickly before heading out the door. Glancing around you noticed that name blonde haired man now standing in front of you. His eyes glanced you up and down taking in your torn jeans and white tank top.

"Hi there darlin." He said twirling a toothpick between his white teeth. "What's your name?"

Ah he clearly didn't recognize you and had no idea who you are then. Maybe you could have some fun with this.

"My names Y/N." His hand lifted up to grab yours in a shake you didn't bother to give him your last name since it would give away too much.

"The names Jake Seresin." Stating with such pride it almost made you roll your eyes. "Call sign Hangman."

"Hangman?" Repeating with a confused look on your face but he just smiled.

"You ever meet a pilot in person?" Shaking your head playing the stupid girl he probably thought you were.

"Well todays your lucky day sweetheart." He stepped closer to you this time. "I happen to be the best pilot there is."

This guy needed an ego check or something surprised his head hasn't exploded yet from thinking too highly of himself. Never the less you decided to go along with whatever game he was playing.

"Is that so?" Asking him crossing your arms over your chest his eyes glancing down briefly before smiling at you.

"Come join me and my fellow pilots." Placing his hand on your back leading you over to a group of khaki uniformed pilots playing pool.

"Guys this here is Y/N." He introduced you making everyone's eyes gaze over to you.

"Hi." Squeaking out like you were some shy little girl feeling utterly stupid.

"This is Coyote, Payback, Fanboy, Phoenix and Bob." Pointing to everyone each of them giving you a wave or smile.

These were probably all the pilots that you were going to help train on this mission. It absolutely terrified you how many lives you were potentially holding in your hands. A part of you feeling bad for not voicing who you actually were, but you didn't want the looks and questions who knew they would ask.

"Still bothering innocent women I see?" The girl Phoenix spoke up making everyone laugh.

"Couldn't help myself Phoenix." Pulling you closer to him making you a little bit uncomfortable. "She's a beautiful woman."

"Which doesn't make sense as to how you got her?" Fanboy joined in everyone nodding their heads in agreement.

"Yeah she doesn't know who you really are." Phoenix responded as she looked at you.

"Judging by the call sign I think I know everything I need to." Your voice ringing out making the others look at you with wide grins and laughter.

"Ouch darlin you hurt me." Placing a hand over his heart acting fake wounded.

"Besides I only go for real talented pilots." Your words had everyone's mouth wide open hollering.

Typically you were as tough as nails and always spoke your mind. In order to keep up this charade of being a normal person you kept your real personality down a few notches. Just wait until the next morning when they would see you, and you just couldn't wait for their reactions.

"I like her." Phoenix said and everyone nodded in agreement making you smile.

"Are you a pilot or?" Coyote asked once everyone quieted down.

Before you could respond your gaze wondered over to the front door watching as a couple people walked in. The person in front who you immediately recognized as Bradley. Wearing an old Hawaiian shirt with a white tank and faded blue jeans. A pair of aviators shielding you from his eyes.

He was a lot bigger the last time you saw him, and certainly looked better looking than the last time. Feeling yourself starting to drool as you looked him feeling like a creep for just staring at him. Thankfully he didn't even see you otherwise you would have been incredible embarrassed.

Something that was definitely different about him was the mustache he was rockin. He definitely didn't have that the last time you saw him, and you gotta admit he looked really good wearing it. He looked just like his dad which made you smile at the thought.

The butterflies in your stomach had you feel lightheaded and flustered. Your full attention was on him watching as he greeted a couple people before his gaze turned over to your group. Feeling your nerves get the better of you you tried shielding yourself from his view.

Not wanting to be seen as you saw him walking towards your group. He still hadn't seen you yet which you were thankful for. Maybe you could sneak away without being seen, and you could avoid the awkward conversation.

Shielding your face by Jake's side when he was literally just a few feet from you talking to the other pilots. Hearing his voice had your heart fluttering and you wanted nothing more than to say something and run into his arms.

"Bradshaw." Hangman greeted with a smirk making Bradley look over in your direction. "As I live in breathe."

"Hangman." He responded back with slight tone animosity making it known the two didn't exactly like each other. "You look... good."

"Oh I'm good I'm very good." His cocky tone was really starting to get to you feeling an arm wrap around your waist.

Quickly glancing your eyes over without moving your head watching him as he leaned against a pole placing his hands in front of him.

"Thought they wanted the best of the best." Bradley shot back at him making you smile into Jake's arm.

The pair just stared at each other like there was a silent war going on between them. The group looked between the two waiting for someone to speak first. Things were becoming too much for you and you just wanted to get out of there. Until you felt someone staring at you.

"Whose your victim tonight?" His words had your stomach drop feeling dread take over your body.

"This gorgeous girl is Y/N." Holding you to his side like you were some sort of prize. "She's never met a pilot in real life."

Keeping your face hidden hoping he wouldn't recognize you or act like he didn't know who you were. Glancing over you made immediate eye contact with him and you watched his lip twitch instantly recognizing you. His eyes looking to Hangman's arm around your waist making his hand ball into a fist.

You were still just as beautiful since he saw you last. Beating himself up for how he left things with you, and not telling you how he felt. Once he was told his papers were pulled he accused you of knowing and not saying anything to stop it to which he felt betrayed.

"Really?" He asked not taking his eyes off you his jaw clenching for multiple reasons.

"Figured if she were to meet a pilot it should be the best there is." He said cockily making your roll your eyes this time.

"But you aren't the best pilot." Bradley responded back making you and others chuckle. "She is."

Your eyes went wide not knowing who he was talking about maybe hoping he was talking about the other woman Phoenix instead. That wasn't the case though when you were completely unaware that he was pointing to you. Slowly moving your head to look at him his eyes solely on you.

He had this look on his face that would couldn't make out. Until you saw that look in his eye that told you he was about to blow your cover. Please Bradley don't you mouthed to him, and he just smirked.

"Yeah right and I'm Superman." Hangman joked not noticing how you were now frozen in place.

"God your such an idiot Hangman." At first you didn't know who he was talking to. "You clearly don't know who this is do you?"

Feeling everyone look over at you as you continued to stare at him shaking your head at him begging him not to tell. Judging by the look on his face you knew what he was about to do to you.

Your breathing was becoming very heavy and shallow. The air in your lungs was becoming restricted and you could feel your palms sweating waiting for him to spill the beans. The glancing from you to Bradley waiting in anticipation.

"What are you talking about?" Phoenix spoke up as Jake continued to stare at him a confused look on his face.

"Who is she?" Someone else said but you didn't know who.

"Your little date over there is a pilot herself." Jake snapped his head down to look at you an angry look on your face.

"Her names Y/N Kazansky daughter of Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky." Soon as they heard your last name some of them gasped or their eyes went wide in shock. "Call sign 'Frostbite."

"Holy shit." Hearing someone say as you now felt all eyes on you, but your focus was on the man with the mustache glaring at him feeling like steam was coming off your body.

"You two know each other then?" Bob asked really speaking for the first time that night.

"Unfortunately." His words had you wincing and your heart slowly breaking at how horribly he was treating you.

Once Bradley saw your reaction he felt bad but he couldn't take them back. A part of him wanted to walk up to you and hold you and tell you he was sorry he knew it wouldn't fix everything. Even though the group was going to find out eventually you wanted it to be on your terms, and not through Bradley who did it out of spite and possibly hatred.

Before anyone else could say anything you tore yourself away from the group, and practically zoomed out of there. Feeling a tear running down your cheek Penny watching with concern making Maverick turn around to look as well.

One things for sure that you know now. Bradley Bradshaw hates you.

——————————————

Tag list for Miles Teller/Bradley Bradshaw: @mak-32 @florencediet @maverick-wingman @khaylin27 @angeeeelinx @allie131313 @phantomxoxo @katieshook02 @alanadetigy @bradleysgirl @acesofspadess @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @classyunknownlover @o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o @roosterforme @mushy-mushroom04 @rosiahills22 @pedrohoe04 @fandom-life-12 @noz4a2 @rossylightwood @itsdesiree86 @topgunbb @sexytholland @spaceygirly1 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo @abaker74 @tallrock35 @ondina-granger @blackcatdhisgf @dreaminglandsworld @bangsterz @k-k0129 @roosterschanelslut @ishipit1420 @atarmychick007 @artemissunn @michaelaandthediamonds-blog @adoringsebstan @sydneejean @igotmajordaddyissues @m-rae23 @alana4610 @calsjack

Tag list for everything: @iam-laiya @rosie-posie08 @madzleigh01 @alwaysclassyeagle @mytbel0st @shanimallina87 @marvelstarker-mha98

#miles teller #miles teller smut #miles teller x reader #miles teller fanfiction #miles teller series #Bradley bradshaw #Bradley bradshaw smut #Bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #Bradley bradshaw series

[inchidentally]

because apparently I can't stop being weird ! 🫠

(this is completely shipping goggles off btw and with the assumption that there's no point theorizing about these men's actual sexualities since a)male sports and b)required travel to countries where the penalty for homosexuality is death/imprisonment.)

I kind of love that we're all picking up on something new and indefinable with Lando and Oscar and it makes our hearts do a little squeeze without fully knowing why. I'm basically finding myself repeating everyone else's tags on landoscar gifsets. and it made me think about why and how Lando has had two main support systems in terms of friendships up til now. there's the F1 alphas/extroverts and then there are his childhood besties.

F1

so like every guy or group of guys I've seen with Carlos somehow admit he's in the alpha position and rotate around him as the leader. it's very much like Daniel even though Carlos and Daniel aren't much alike outside of that (Daniel makes noise to be the leader, Carlos just exists as a leader). for an ambivert like Lando, Carlos and Daniel are great places to be when he's getting pulled under. they're typical straight alpha types who don't believe in getting stuck in their heads or feelings (Carlos' 'mental health' ad basically being go to the gym and stay productive to not feel sad lol) and they exist in a kind of nonstop monologue. so little Lando can just bob along in the current and know that he'll laugh and forget whatever ails him. very much like what he needed Carlos for after the Mexico race when he looked so drained and ended up magically chipper again in Brazil (in reality bc of friendship and not a solid dicking down as I have tagged in a lot of places). or that private plane ride with Daniel where Lando looked twelve years old and so happy. Lando clearly needs to feel small again sometimes and these are the guys who can do that.

Childhood

Max F obviously has that role of truth-telling and soul-baring that honestly I could see Lando not being able to live without. the friend/soulmate you can't hide anything from. I'm absolutely projecting at this point as someone who feels verrrry simpatico with Lando's personality (as we're allowed to see it) but having that person who can love you while being honest and real with you is so SO SO needed. but! there are times when it's too much and they know that you need to just float for a while. I feel like there's that core group of guys in the Max F circle who are all to different degrees like this with Lando. they're much more his equals in power dynamic too.

Oscah??

I think this is where Oscar exists in like a third, unexplored space. he's been caught in 4K as a Lando fanboy but he's also got sleepy cat personality so you can only tell from the internet evidence and from the way his eyes track Lando every time they're in the same rough vicinity that he's still fairly starstruck.

to me it's like Oscar hasn't quite shaken the norm of watching Lando on his phone screen and he almost forgets that he's supposed to be the one interacting with Lando in the challenges etc.

now if you've watched the Prema content on YT you'll know that Oscar, while still sleepy and placid, absolutely knew how to play up for social media content. sure the pressure wasn't that high and he'd known some of those boys for years by then. but his timing was solid and he adopted a sarcastic voice-of-reason role to bounce off the other guys. but what's so endearing about the McLaren content is that Oscar has basically positioned himself as guest star in the Lando Show. it's like he's so relieved at how good Lando is at media content that he spends a lot of his role in it watching what Lando is doing. I'm serious when I say it seems like he forgets he's not watching Lando on a screen like he always used to.

I do however think it's a confident and conscious decision that he made to not even bother trying to be another Carlos or Daniel - or to try and copy paste a little of the banter he'll have seen Lando have in Quadrant videos. I really love that Oscar's said you know what I'm being me and it so happens I'm nothing like those other people in Lando's content.

but !! you know who's personality and sense of humor Oscar most resembles? Max F. dry humor, sleepy but can get riled up and fun when they're feeling it. sort of fondly exasperated with Lando a lot of the time. I loved the stream of Max watching the Most Likely To with Lando and Oscar because he sided with Oscar so many times and appreciated Oscar bringing up the birthday issue.

and I think that's where for Lando he's still pretty damn thrown by Oscar - not in a bad way, just still uncertain. Oscar doesn't fit with Lando's extroverted F1 world. Oscar's plenty friendly with the rest of the grid (and obv Logan) but he's choosing to largely go under the radar and he runs his social media very lowkey even during some of the major highs he's had his rookie season. he's there to race F1 cars and when that's over he's got a very good brain in his head and plenty of options. he doesn't have the same insecurities that a lot of the drivers admit to having. Lando can't rely on Oscar being a typical F1 driver to understand him.

to finally come around to some kind of point I think what we're seeing is Lando and Oscar tiptoeing around a friendship that would probably develop very fast and easily if it weren't for the F1 pressure and expectations. we're seeing Lando unusually flustered by how easy he gets Oscar's attention and how he seemingly can't annoy or inadvertently piss off Oscar even if he tries to wind him up in videos or if he gets lost in admiration for his own trophy while Oscar shrugs off his own P14 finish and smiles at Lando. I genuinely think that level of undemanding affection has Lando sort of squirmy in an adorable way.

and Oscar clearly went into the personal side of his relationship to Lando of just enjoying whatever he gets and not trying to be someone he isn't. rookie seasons are already so pressure packed and the drama with Alpine followed by the rough start McLaren had won't have helped. he's just trying to do his job and prove his place and honestly isn't bothering to hide that he's baffled and flustered at finding himself interacting with Lando Norris the way Carlos Sainz and Daniel Ricciardo were. it's easier to just let people see that Lando can wrap him around his finger.

when all the time, if they'd met via Max F or mutual non-F1 friends, Oscar would fold right into Lando's group like butter on toast. I think that's what we pick up on with either or both of them getting shy and crushing on each other like new best friends at school. F1 has picked them up and put a camera on them and we're watching them slowly learn if it's okay to put an arm around each other or sit very close or touch the other person's hair. because they know this is very Real FriendTM friend potential and they don't want to spook each other and their feelings could so easily be hurt if they thought the other person didn't want to be friends as much or if they'd turn their back on them in front of their other friends.

they're not interacting as Typical Blokes by horseplay or teasing or being loud and they're not Just Guys Bein Dudes using humor and sarcasm to figure out the pecking order.

most of the time they're so shy or Lando's in a mood and Oscar finds it adorable and they're watching each other so closely the whole time like this and aauuuuhhggggg it's so vulnerable and sweet.

that's how it feels to me anyway and why I'm so ???!!! watching them interact. and sidenote I'm so so glad Oscar is so steady and can celebrate Lando no matter what. bc Lando admits he struggles with that in turn and after the many times it's been tested it's clearly never going to be something that breaks them before they can continue to get closer <3

#landoscar #twinkodium #(I figured you might like this <3) #gonna tag this for anyone interested but pls know this is just me being dumb #apparently writing stuff like this is my main contribution ig #mine #inchidentallyanessay #inch gets weird

[princessb4mbi]

MESSAGES I CAN’T SEND

꩜ tags black!reader, therapist!eren, college setting, age gap (reader in 20s, eren in 30s), power dynamic, not so protective sex? mentions of death [not proofread]

꩜ synopsis isn’t it obvious to hide your private life better? or was it not obvious when a video of you dry-humping a pillow was sent to your therapist.

@ word count 3.6k

story below the cut !!

ever since you’ve lost your mother to old age, your mental health has spiraled downwards a little bit. you’ve had the privilege of knowing when she WOULD die and at-least died in a proper place rather than somewhere shitty, so that’s cheered your spirits up a little bit. she was your best friend though, and losing your best friend is painful. you went to her whenever you could, talked on the phone for hours, and slept in her bed every night as if you were still five years old. 

you weren’t the only one suffering though, your childhood friend sasha couldn’t stand watching you wither away. even though she did everything she could, she knew she was capable of oh so much. 

you weren’t the only one suffering though, your childhood friend sasha couldn’t stand watching you wither away. even though she did everything she could, she knew she was capable of oh so much. 

“do you want me to hook you up with my therapist? he’ll seriously help you clear all cloudy thoughts away y/n,” sasha says caressing your cheeks

you move your face away from her hand, “they aren’t cloudy thoughts sas, im just grieving my mother..” 

“i know baby, i know.. but i don’t want to grieve YOU if you die of a heartbreak. i want you to get better, physically and mentally.” sasha looks at me emphatically.

she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her contacts until stopping at a card called “dr.jaeger”. “listen, give him a call please. his prices are cheap and his place is nice. it’s not like those dull white offices with an ugly long chair and a monotone person.” 

you sighed, reluctantly agreeing to her copying and pasting the number to your phone. “okey, i gotta go now babe, but PROMISE me you’ll give him a call, he’ll help you, and if he doesn’t i’ll play for any of your bills ok?” sasha says packing up her stuff. she kisses your cheek before leaving the quiet study area, leaving you alone to your own thoughts. 

you stare at the contact card, pulling dr. jaeger’s name up on your laptop and scrolling through his website. sasha was right about one thing, his prices WERE cheap. about $65 an hour and he also had packages where two weeks of therapy would be about $350 in total.   

the prices however, weren’t enough to convince you fully, as your scroll down to see the reviews.  

“dr. jaeger saved me. after the loss of my wife, i never felt like so lonely, but my daughter told me about him and he’s helped me heal properly and not turn to anything crazy. he’s an amazing person with amazing talents as such a young age. 5 stars” 

ok.. that was something. not that you were going to invalidate them, but that seemed just.. fake. you decided to read another one.

“oh my gosh. no one would believe how amazing someone is at listening and understanding a person’s thoughts. dr. jaeger was nothing like those terrible therapists who make you pay $100 for an shitty hour call. oh how i wished i can say more, but the character limit is fu” 

you giggled at that one. maybe i should give him a call. with a deep breath, you called the number. 

“hello? my name is y/n, i’d like to speak to dr. jaeger please.” 

— 

it’s been about a month since you’ve scheduled a session with dr. jaeger, only having to wait that long due to “heavy traffic”. sasha is currently driving you to the building. 

“you know, i’m really proud of you for calling. i was scared you were going to stay depressed forever.” sasha says over her 80s radio playing. 

“let’s not get too happy yet, he could still be shit at his job..” you say cutting down any happy thoughts. 

“you’re STILL doubting him y/n? i get that some people are money hungry, but i promise you he’s not. if he was, do you think ME of all people would be recommending you to him? i mean c’mon, have some faith please.” 

“i’m sorry, i just nervous ok. my stomach is doing backflips at the moment.” 

“hey man, if you feel like farting, ill park somewhere and you can walk the rest of the way.”

you two pull up to the parking lot, fancy with a modern style front. the office itself if very modern and 2 floored. 

“k, i’m gonna drop you off here, call me when you’re done ok?” 

you walk out of sasha’s car, waving her goodbye while she drives away. you walk into the sleek office, with painting from what you the assume were from the last two centuries. 

the receptionist greets you with a nice smile “welcome, how may i help you today?” you give her your name. “ah i see, you right on time then, ill have this guard guide you to dr. jaeger’s office.” just then, a semi tall man with a black uniform from comes in-front of me. “right this way.” 

he leads me into the elevator, where he then leads me into a hallway with lots of rooms. there’s multiple therapists in this building, all with different ways. as i look through the glass windows, i see pet therapy, group therapy and even massage therapy. the guard finally stops at a door, with a name tag having “DR. JAEGER” on it. “here’s your room, have a nice day.” he says as he’s walking away. you give him a quick thank you and knock on the door. 

a deep “come in.” follows shortly after, and you enter the room. first impression of when you enter the room was that sasha was right. the room was anything from boring, and didn’t have white walls but instead had a mix of brown and auburn. there was lots of old-style decor too. a record player, cd’s and even the tv was kinda old. 

however you were greeted with the most shocking thing of all, dr. jaeger himself. he looked away from his papers, to look at you and gave you a warm smile. his visuals was… something you didn’t expect. most therapist are middle-aged men and women, that are sort-of not the most attractive. but that was ok, because they wanted to help you, not seduce you. dr. jaeger on the other hand was extremely beautiful. he has dark brown hair, put up in a semi-messy bun, the most luscious green eyes, and very kissable pink lips. 

i guess you were admiring his facial features for too long to notice dr. jaeger looking at you weirdly. “maybe un-responsive.” he mutters to himself, typing down on his laptop. upon hearing his words, you apologize and scurried to the seat in-front of him. 

“or not. . . my name is dr. jaeger, if you’ve haven’t gotten a chance to see on the door.” 

“i did, sorry for not responding earlier.” 

“it’s ok, its common for most genders to be shocked at how i look.” dr. jaeger said in a non-concerned voice. you were took aback a little by his comment, most genders to be shocked at how he looked? you were wondering if he was just annoyed at the common occurrence or just knew that he was an attractive man. “pushing that aside,” he sighed “sasha has told me a lot about you.” he says looking up at you. 

“she did?” you question.

“mhm, she cares for you ms….” he looks at the paper look for your last name. 

“y/l/n.” 

“ah, thank you. sasha cares for you ms. y/l/n. she talks about your recovery, and wants you to best happy for her.” he says maintaining eye contact. you can’t respond to such kindness. all you can do is nod your head and smile. 

“but as a therapist view-point, the death of a loved one is one of the hardest battle we have to overcome as a human being. no matter how emotionless a person may be, the death of anything else to them will always cause someone to break. that’s just how we are, we humans . . . after all.” he says empathically. 

“my job isn’t to make you forget your mother, or forget the pain you feel about her. you always feel pain lingering about her, and that’s ok. i’m just here to help you reduce that pain.” 

you were shocked. cheap prices, handsome therapist AND a good one at that? maybe it’s good to stay faithful after all. 

— 

it’s been about 3 weeks since you’ve had daily therapy sessions with mr. jaeger and he’s honestly been helping you a lot. you had different kinds of sessions, like walking around and even some pet therapy. today was for a usual one-on-one walk around the building beautiful outside landscape.

as you and dr. jaeger walk around, you wave to the other clients with their own therapists. “see how social you’ve gotten? when we first came here, you were begging to stay back inside due to all the people,” he jokes around. “now, you’re friendly with them. it’s good progress.” he smiles to himself. 

“it was only because of you, dr. jaeger. i don’t think i’d be the way i am without your help.” 

“ah. . . don’t flatter me too much. let’s sit right here yea?” he says pointing towards the swinging wood benches. “it’s beautiful outside, isn’t it ms. y/l/n?” he turns to look at you. 

“yea, it really is.” you turn back to stare at him. god, you can stare into his eyes for hours. it’s something that about that were so addicting, that you couldn’t look away if you wanted to. to break the silence, you decided to follow up with a cheeky comment. “say dr. jaeger, you really know how to keep a client.” he moves his head to the side, confused. “i like to believe that my clients stay with my due to how i help them and not my looks.” ah fuck. it was not received well at all, and you just profusely apologized to him. 

“but, if my looks did make people stay, that wouldn’t be all too bad huh,” he says giving a hearty laugh. “but tell me now, ms y/l/n. does my looks make you stay?” you were at a loss for words. one part of you wanted to say “fuck yes” while another part of you wanted to say “absolutely not”. and you of course went with the latter. 

“whatever your answer is, it doesn’t bother me either way. . . but it looks like our time is up ms. y/l/n.” you look down at your phone for the time. it was up after he exclaimed. the two of you head back to his office to pick you up your stuff. 

that night later, you were chilling in your bed, getting ready to dose off. you however, couldn’t sleep without thinking about a fantasy. it didn’t matter what type, other than it having to be something interesting. you close your eyes, your mind shifting to dr. jaeger, and the moments between you two that drove you insane. like that one time he wore a turtle neck, showing off his clothed six-pack abs. you imagined yourself touching them, feeling the rock-hardness of them. you open your eyes again, looking around the room. to be honest, you haven’t.. you know what, in a while and you thought it might be time to do it again. 

you move your bedsheets closer to the edge to give you more space. and moved all your pillows away except for one. you pulled your phone out and started to record. it might seem weird to other people, but you like to record yourself, in the time that you couldn’t find anything good on twitter or reddit. 

you start to rock your hips back n forth on the pillow, assuming it the body of a male. maybe it was dr. jaeger body you could’ve been assuming it off. either way, it turned you on, seeing how you started to move faster on your pillow. one of your hands grip the pillow, as the other hand massages your boob. you move faster, enjoying the friction your clit is getting between the pillow and your soaked panties. you close your eyes, imagining dr. jaeger guiding your body with his big, veiny hands. as you’re about to climax, you can’t help but subtly whimper his name. 

once you’ve finished, you end the video. while you’re cleaning up, sasha enters the room. “hey girlie, i was thinking of getting some drinks tomorrow night? wanna come?” she says exciting. “i would but i have a session with dr. jaeger tomorrow.” 

“boo, you’re boring.” 

“whatever, i’m going to the shower, so let me know if anything happens ok?” 

“yea yea boring y/n.” 

you go to the bathroom and take off your clothes, hopping inside the shower. you turn on the water, letting the lukewarm water hit your skin. you are alone with your thoughts until sasha comes inside the bathroom. 

“not to be nosey, but dr. jaeger texted you.” she says. 

“mhm really? what did he say?” 

“i didn’t look at it properly, but something about a daily wellness video?” you knew right away. dr. jaeger usual makes his clients make videos of themselves with positive affirmations, then with their consent, he’ll use it on his website for future clientele. 

“ahh ok! just send him the most recent video.” you photo gallery takes forever to update, so there’s a chance it’ll take forever to show the video of your “naughty time”. 

“ok, sending right now… and it’s sent. if he wants a further conversation, i’ll let you know.” 

“thanks sash.” 

as you walk out the steamy bathroom, and get ready for bed, you check your notifications for any new ones. you go into the chat between you and dr. jaeger, seeing if theres anything new. you took a look at the video of your affirmation, seeing the shirt you wore today as the thumbnail. you clicked on it, expecting your face to zoom out, as you were testing the camera quality always. to your shock, you camera didn’t zoom out. but instead was your body moving back and forth on something. your heart dropped. it couldn’t be. you’re praying it wasn’t. you skip some of the video to see if it was truly what you think it was, but the video suddenly changed to a more in-depth shot of you humping the pillow with your panties being in view. 

your heart start to beat faster than usual. you click off the video to delete it right away. dr. jaeger didn’t respond to it, and it said it was ‘delivered.’ you wanted to tell yourself that he hasn’t seen it, and probably watches those videos early in the morning. you weren’t going to stress yourself out though, you were just gonna go to his office per usual, and get counseling per usual.

— 

you take a deep breath and knock at his door, hoping it all ends well. you hear his “come in” but it sounds different from before. his voice went an octave lower. you walk into the room, seeing a more “messy” side of dr. jaeger. at-least he didn’t look at cleaned up as he usually does. his bun was a lot more frizzy from before and he had two buttons undone on his button up shirt. 

maybe he had a rough morning. you think to yourself. “good morning ms. y/l/n. how was your night?” you stopped for a second. such a simple question was something so dangerous to you. “it was fine, dr. jaeger. how about yours?” 

“oh. one of the best i’ve had in a while.” 

“ah. mine was the worst i’ve had in a while.” you mumbled. 

“really? i would’ve assumed you’ve had a very nice night ms. y/l/n.” 

you stare at him confused. what could he mean by that? yea, you fixed your hair a little better than usual, and your eye bags have gone away overtime, but you truly did have a sleepless night yesterday. dr. jaeger gets up from his chair, to lean on his desk, standing in-front of you. he stared down at you with his usually lighter colored eyes now displayed a dark-green. and his pupils were more extended. 

“i don’t know what gives you the impression that i’ve had a nice night dr. jaeger.” 

he bends to to match the height of the chair, and put both of his hands on the rest, restricting me from mounting off of it easily. “let’s cut the crap, y/n. i saw what you sent me.” at this moment, it felt like 100 daggers were suddenly lodged into your chest. 

“i wondered why you asked what you did yesterday. i thought to myself ‘maybe she thought i was attractive’, but i see it was more than that i see,” he says not breaking eye contact. “you see, as a human, we see something we like, and have many kinds of thoughts about it. and i see the thoughts you have towards me are stronger than what i expected.” 

“i’m truly sorry dr. jaeg-“ 

“call me eren, seeing as that is what you called me in the video.” 

“i’m sorry eren, truly. i don’t want to do anything to make you uncomfortable or hurt this relationship between us.” i say holding back my tears. 

“hurt? uncomfortable? those words are out of the park right now,” he says standing up. “to be honest, tell me why you came today y/n.” 

“to have a therapy session with you.” you meekly say.

“is my looks standing in the way of you healing with the death of your mother?” he says standing behind me. 

“not at all, dr. jae- eren.” 

“so then what provoked you to send me a five minute long video of you fucking yourself to a pillow in the imagination that it’s me?” you were at a loss for words. he was right. your heart sank as his word dug deeper into you. and you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. you started to quietly sob, feeling large hands down your shoulders. you feel a hot breath near your eyes chill down your spine. “don’t cry, not in this manner at least,” he says in your ear. 

“cry because you can’t handle it, y/n.” 

you stopped and turned to look at him. he had a devilish grin on his face. “handle what?” you say, not catching his gist. 

“you’ll find out soon enough.”

eren lifts you up by the arm and spins you around to face him completely. you didn’t know what was going on, but you didn’t want to push away. your faces was a mere 4 inches away from each other. “can i? y/n. . . can i give you what you want?” 

you look at his eyes then his lips then his eyes again. fuck it, you nod your head and eren kisses you passionately. he stops kissing you for a moment to push the chairs aside. you look at his desk to see his usually messy papers cleaned up to the side. he planned this probably . . . eren picks you up and places you on his desk. 

he places a hand on your chin, rubbing it gently. “open it baby,” he says as his kisses you again, but placing his tongue all over the inside of your mouth. his hands tug on the bottom of your shirt, signaling for it to be removed. in between each kiss, you both take off a piece of clothing until you up to your undergarments. eren slips his large hand under your breast, fondling with it while he leaves wet hickeys on your neck. with the other hand he unclasps the bra, throwing it the ground. he kisses you again, muttering “nice tits”.

you pull at the band of his underwear, “want you in me ren’.” you whine. “patience baby.” eren says sliding your panties off to the floor. 

“are you on any pills by any chance?”, he says rubbing ur slick all over your cunt. “m-mhm ren.’”

“good. so i don’t have to hold back.” 

eren slips his underwear off, revealing his long, veiny and girthy dick. you want to guess it’s around 6-7 inches, but it was gonna tear you up regardless. he strokes his dick, ‘lubing’ it up with his pre-cum. he inches closer to you, having his dick and your hole just one insert away from each other. you open your legs wider and lay down on his desk, giving him more access to yourself. “didn’t even have to ask.” eren said.

he teases the tip of his dick on your clit. your whole body tingles in response, arching your back off the cold desk. “please ren’…” you beg, desperately wanting his dick buried into you. “please fuck me eren.” 

“as you wish.” with that, eren aligns himself with your entrance, slowly pushing himself in. the both of you moan simultaneously from the pleasure you both felt. eren starts to push his hips back and forth into you, keeping a firm grip on your waist. eren keeps a nice pace, making sure to satisfy both sides. suddenly, eren lifts your legs, wrapping them around his waist. you jolted from the tingle he gave you. you were trying to conceal your moans, but every time it was getting louder than usual, eren made sure put his hand over your mouth.

eren’s pace starts to unstable, moving fast at times and then slowing down to grind himself on you. you can tell he was close to his climax, seeing how desperate and shaky thrusts were. 

“‘m so close baby. . .” he grunts. 

“‘ren please! mhm.” you whine, begging him to release. 

“at the same time? what a good girl..” he barely breathes out. 

eren picks you up by the waist to pull you closer to him. there wasn’t enough space between you too, but he didn’t care. eren grinds his dick into you, feeling his dick throb in your walls. then, you feel a warm liquid pour inside of you, while at the same time cry out from your orgasm. 

#anime smut #aot smut #eren smut #aot x poc!reader #aot x reader #aot x black reader #eren x black fem!reader

[kalanisposts]

“I couldn’t do it,” she cried.

“I know. And that’s okay.”

-

Captain John Price

holding a tight grip on your sniper, you had a steady crosshair following your assigned target that instead of a description in a Manila envelope was now a face and this face was no terrorist. you knew the real monster too well and you’d gone under Captain Price’s wing following this case when the main mission was to destroy the enemy and burn their existence down. his voice in your ear as you watch this boy no older than 12 be used as a child soldier guarding the door between them and the target.

“come on, kid, move,” your urged, your finger on the trigger as 141 made moves to close in on the building. from where you laid, you could see them making progress but if the kid even raises that gun at your friends, you knew what you’d have to do.

“y/l/n,” Price’s voice sounded in your ear which made you tense and grip the tripod with a sweaty hand.

you didn’t want to answer and he knew the position you were in. you swallowed hard and put your finger to the trigger, “copy, captain,” you grit, aiming your crosshairs for a quick death but as if he knew, the kid’s wide eyes looked in your direction and you knew he could hear your team moving in. his doe like eyes caught the breath in your throat and you felt a burn behind your eyes.

thankfully he dropped the gun and pressed himself to the wall, Price taking hold of him and waving in your direction, a choked sigh leaving your body in relief. you started feeling tremors as you watched through your scope, covering the hall for your team but you could hear Price getting that kid to safety.

cursing under your breath, a horrible feeling washed over you as you heard the child’s voice and it broke you to think you could’ve ended his life. “I couldn’t do it,” you admit, holding back tears til 141 called it back in target aquired.

“I know.” Price reassured to you, feeling just as shaken but holding steady as he hated making your hands dirty for sake of the mission. “And that’s okay. come down, we’re leaving.” he says gruffly before he said much softer to you as you pack up your tripod and gun, “drinks on me tonight.”

Erwin König

KoTac was a less than savory alternative job offer for a military linguist like you. it paid well but at the constant cost of your life as you tagged along with this specific group. for the past year, you’ve learned to be light on your feet, even helping carry a medical kit with you although you don’t wear much tactical gear besides a bullet proof vest and comfy camo pants. you were against holding guns but did satisfy König’s protectiveness by having a knife strapped to your belt which hardly ever came out of its sheathing besides when he’d take it from you to sharpen it.

today’s mission was strictly to observe and report for intel and leave the fighting for another day. but time was running out. you spoke to some of the locals at a church where a suspect was last seen leaving and you were getting a bad feeling about their choice in dialect. like how you know someone is country without the accent, just their mannerisms spoke volumes and you had a bad gut feeling about the man you were just talking to.

you and König were the only ones in the room with him as KoTac took charge of clearing the church. you turned around and gave your Commander a look, signing to him quietly about you suspicions when suddenly you heard a gun shot and every dropped down.

it happened so fast, König sprung up to his feet and made quick work tackling you down on the ground, narrowly escaping another wild bullet from the suspect who was getting anxious and just wanted to leave. he wasn’t as big as König, no one could be but he was fast and caught him in his shoulder before he could take his gun out and shoot back. horrified, you stayed in the corner he put you in but watching him fighting for your lives with no backup froze you in your mind.

a gun slid to your feet and König yelled at you in German, knowing you understand his urgency. you trembled as you took the gun and raised it, the suspect noticed you and how poorly you held the gun. he got cocky and stepped towards you to put a bullet between your eyes point blank but you were struggling with the safety and even then you couldn’t bring yourself to shoot.

before you knew it, blood splattered across yourself, dropping from the walls above you and spraying more from the massive hole König put in this man’s chest. you saw his insides and then his eyes roll back in his head before he dropped dead, a scream ripping out of you before König could pick you up from the corner and wipe the blood from you tear stained face.

shock took your body and you clutched to his vest as he took account of your body for any wounds, petting your hair of the blood. “I couldn’t do it,” you gasped shakily, fearful eyes looking at him and expecting anger or disappointment but were staring back at you with worry and confusion.

“I know, Schätzchen. und das ist okay.” he sighed, holding you to his chest as he looked around the room for anymore threats, swearing he won’t let it get this close again.

Simon Ghost Riley

the door burst open and Ghost was the first through the door, a machine gun in his hands strapped to his shoulders as he scanned the room for movement followed by the Captain, Soap, and Gaz. a small red light lit in front of the motel room they just barged into, followed by a pillow of smoke that escaped your red lipstick stained lips. you sat in a chair facing the door they just collapsed, your hands and chest covered in blood. behind you were two beds and on each laid the dead bodies of the targets 141 were hired to gain intel on the missing girls of a Nigerian school rumored to be trafficked from this town. your mission was to pose as a girl meanwhile Gaz was your “pimp”, a guise so you’d get into the auction and only get intel then leave and let the big boys take care of things.

somehow you were separated and gone for an hour until you used the motel phone to call them. it took thirty minutes for them to find you and you spent all that time making them regret what they’d done to those girls. what you didn’t know was that before realizing you were gone, they found all the girls at the event but Gaz was in too deep in the middle of it all to go get back to you. when Ghost saw Gaz without you, his knees buckled as rage filled him. he had a bad feeling about all of this when he saw you in that red dress and hated how he couldn’t even put a microphone in your ear so he can couch you through it but the security was tight and Gaz barely escaped with his life.

Ghost holstered his gun and advanced to you but you raised the lit cigarette at him, holding back tears as he noticed a slap mark across your face and the pain in your eyes. he’d left you unarmed in a room full of monsters, had you been anyone else then you’d have been worse off than you are now. “I couldn’t do it,” you said shakily, dropping the butter knife you used to wreck havoc in this room, Ghost dropping to his knees at your bare feet. disappointment filled you at the weakness you felt being kidnapped from the event.

“I know,” he croaked, regretful for letting you down but proud for how well you handled yourself all on your own, “and that’s okay.” he knew this mission touched home with you so he grabbed your free hand and pulled you into his arms where you all but collapsed and let him carry you out. “good work, soldier. let’s get you back,” he says, glaring forward as he got you to a medic first thing and held your hand, even taking your cigarette and holding it to your lips for you. he hated the smell but seeing you calm down with each draw made him stare at the smoke in relief.

#captain price #price x reader #john price #cod price #konig x reader #konig call of duty #konig cod #konig headcanons #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #ghost simon riley #ghost cod #cod mw2

[itstheelvenjedi]

4/27/23 EDIT TO ADD: I'm disabling reblogs on this part of the post as per the advice of someone in the tags to prevent it from going around and getting out of hand but obligatory disclaimer that this is NOT an accurate post to my current state of mind. In absolute simplest terms: I'm both physically disabled and ND, and the past 2 years have been a very shitty time for me with a lot of trauma and ableism etc. etc. BUT which ultimately helped me to grow into a more emotionally mature person who absolutely would not have said these things. It's not an excuse but it is context, and if I had known (didn't remember I queue'd this and the first I knew it existed was when I woke up and checked this tumblr for the first time in almost 3 weeks and I had almost 100 notes on a single post LMAO) it was there, I would have deleted it before it got posted. I've made another post in a reblog chain >HERE&lt; that goes into this but this is like a TL;DR if you will. You can also find a stand-alone post with the copy-paste of the ammendment >HERE&lt; or in my pinned post (I'll leave it here for a while and take it down later once this blows over)

EDIT #2: currently trying to figure out how to disable replies but can't seem to so I'm putting this at the TOP of the damned post instead because there's still a handful of people that think it's appropriate to make nasty comments without actually READING the ammendment, I'm sorry if I sound cranky it's been a long day, I am v tired & running out of ways to say the word "sorry" lol

The thing that gets me about the "oh wanting a cure for the incurable disability that ruins my life is not ableism ACSHUALLY!!!" crowd is

Yes babes, yes it is. That's a lil nugget called ✨internalised ableism✨ and ya know something? ITS STILL ABLEISM

You can put a pretty red bow with polka dots and frills on a pig as much as you like but it's STILL A FUCKING PIG and NOTHING You do will change that

But most of yall aren't ready for that conversation ig.

It's hard. It's a very hard thing to confront, realise and accept but it IS. and ableists EVERYWHERE will use that as a pro-eugenics gotcha. You're not just hurting yourself you're hurting other disabled people too.

ABLE BODIED PEOPLE DO NOT ADD ANYTHING TO THIS POST. YOU ARE NOT DISABLED AND YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT IS OR IS NOT DIFFICULT FOR DISABLED PEOPLE. Able bodied ND people may add stuff if you want but be aware if you try to derail physically disabled additions w/ "buh muh ND ish awso a disabiwity" I will straight up block you. Yall ALWAYS do that and I am tired of it. Just don't be an asshole about your additons if you're going to make any or stay quiet too.

#the queue is strong with this one #elven rants #actually disabled #tw: ableism #tw: internalized ableism #ya know what im tired of being quiet about this #it needs to be fucking said #and realising this on my own journey was a huge hurdle for me to get over so trust #*me i KNOW. and i KNOW some of u are gonna read what ive said here and immediately get mad #but take a step back for a second...and ask yourself WHY youre mad

[samiiy20]

♡ 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐡𝐨 ♡

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Lee Know x fem! reader 𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑒: smut Synopsis: You are Han´s younger sister and you are secretly in love whit his best friend (Minho), but your brother is very overprotective.

masterlist II tag list

This content NOT is for minors!!!

This is merely entertainment, this does not represent any real person.

It is forbidden to copy or translate my work.

English NO is my first language.

You hated when Han invited his friends over, it wasn't because of the boys, but because he forced you to stay locked in the room or simply asked you to hang out for a couple of hours.

Han was more protective than he appeared and he would get angry if he saw you talking to any boy because according to him they could corrupt you, although of course, he didn't know that in reality many of the times it was you who incited them, but you preferred that he continue thinking that you were his innocent little sister, which is why you sighed when he asked you out for the second time this week.

"You're lucky I'm bored," you said getting up from your bed and taking your things for a walk.

"You know I love you," he said, but you stuck your tongue out at him as you walked past him.

When you left you found the boys at the door and they greeted each other quickly, although one of them had stayed behind and when you saw who it was, your heart fluttered more strongly and you smiled without being able to help it.

"Hey you," he said greeting you with a radiant smile. Minho was Han's best friend so it was easier to relate to him than the others and it was harder not to fall for his charms, but neither your brother nor he could know that you had fallen in love with him for years "you're going to go out?"

"what do you think?" You looked over your shoulder as the others were already waiting for Han to open the door for them. "Same old."

"That idiot, does he think we'll pay attention to you?" He said jokingly or so you wanted to think so that his words wouldn't stick in your mind, so you decided to play your own game.

"why not?" You pouted watching him cross his arms on his chest and let out a loud laugh because unlike your brother he knew how you really were, many times they had met in places where you were not allowed to go but he did not say anything and you thanked him for that "am I so ugly?"

"I didn't say you were."

"So you would notice me?" you asked more seriously, with nerves welling up in your stomach, you had no idea where your value was coming from but a part of you wanted me to answer even if it was joking.

Minho's gaze suddenly turned darker and for a second you saw his smile disappear until you heard Han's voice behind him as he welcomed the boys and you saw how Minho kept looking at you, you felt your body start to shake and your legs would lose their balance at any moment if he kept looking at you like he really wanted you, but instead he smiled and headed for the house.

"Goodbye, silly," was all he said as he disappeared from sight against the walls of the house and left you alone, releasing the air you didn't know you were holding.

You didn't want to think about the conversation they had, but the way his eyes had fixed on your lips was something you couldn't get out of your mind, but that was your hallucinations, even though you had a better relationship with him than with the others knew that he wouldn't notice you even though you were dying for him to.

***

Han was telling you that the dress you were wearing was too short, but you ignored him as you applied lipstick. You'd waited so long for the college party that everything I said was left out, you just wanted to go have fun, maybe you'd even find other kinds of fun, although it was going to be a little difficult with Han as your chaperone.

You begged him not to go but he refused and insisted so much that he promised to keep a considerable distance and that he would go with Minho to distract himself a little. You didn't want to accept that the idea didn't seem so bad to you when I mentioned his friend, so you gave up.

"Let's go" Han jumped up and began to argue that it was a bad idea. You looked at his friend looking for some support while he was sitting laughing at the scene that was already expected and you saw how he got up to stop him.

"Leave her alone, it's just a silly party."

"But look at her," he exclaimed, but his friend couldn't stop laughing.

"I see her as normal" she winked and you noticed how your heart pounded in your chest "well just a little uglier than usual."

The excitement died down suddenly and you rolled your eyes past the boys to leave the house. Minho's car was outside and while your brother just denied every time he saw you, his friend opened the back door for you to get in. He's just being nice, you told yourself so as not to upset the chemistry in your brain, but the looks he gave you from time to time in the rearview mirror made you squirm in the seat trying to ignore him.

As soon as the car stopped, you didn't wait for the door to be opened and you ran to escape the boys, especially Han. The house was in turmoil and you went to visit the rooms looking for your friend and when you finally found her you felt relieved.

It didn't take long for you to feel a gaze following your movements so you just ignored it by going to another room, but it was insistent and to calm your nerves you started taking just a little bit of alcohol. After a few hours and escaping from Han's gaze, you managed to start having fun dancing with a boy, although soon your body warmed up when you felt his hands around your waist to get closer to him.

You moved to the rhythm of the music and you guided him further down the floor to get closer to his lips. The adrenaline took over your body while your mouth met his and his hands caressed your back, descending more and more on your hips.

Your eyes were closed but in your mind there was only the image of a boy with dark eyes and lips that you had memorized, you felt a little bad for who you were really kissing but he wouldn't know if you didn't say so you followed the kiss imagining it was Minho.

Your hands had taken his hair, pulling it closer to you so that he could explore your neck, but before he could, you felt hands on your waist, removing the heat of his body. You turned angrily to claim Han, but you were surprised to see another person looking menacingly at the boy but your anger still hadn't gone away.

"But what are you doing?" you demanded as you walked away from Minho and took the other boy's hand "leave me alone."

You started to walk to go to a more private place but again some unknown hands took your waist, but this time before you could speak I took you on his shoulders taking you off the track.

Realizing the situation, you kicked and hit him on the back but that didn't stop him and his grip only grew stronger.

"Let me go, I'm telling you" I finally put you down and you had to take him by the shoulders to regain your balance but you noticed his frowning face, the noise of the music had calmed down and you noticed that they were in one of the rooms of the house "you're an idiot, not even Han does these things."

"No, he would do worse."

"That doesn't give you the right to do what you did" your voice had been heard throughout the room and you felt like you could break his cute goofy face. "I'm sick of this, Han thinks he can control me and when I think you're on my side you do that."

"He only cares about you" you had already talked to Han many times and you tried to understand him but sometimes you felt suffocated by all the care he had but you couldn't understand why suddenly Minho was starting to act like him.

"And what about you mhm? Now are you going to tell him?" you crossed your arms and noticed how his jaw tensed as if he wanted to say something but couldn't "answer me."

"I just…understand."

"hahaha now it turns out that you care about me when in reality I'm just your friend's sister to you."

"that is not true."

"So what am I?" the conversation from a few days ago came to your head and something accumulated in your chest wanting to get it out, but you pressed your nails into your hands "tell me."

Even though you felt that you could be closer to Minho, that hadn't taken away from the fact that Han was caring when he was present, that's why he also kept his distance, he didn't want their friendship to be ruined just because of a slight attraction towards her sister of his best friend. He'll be over, he'd said to himself so many times, although it was becoming more and more difficult for him to believe it.

"Are you going to keep quiet?" the man continued without opening his mouth and your anger only got bigger, the fact that you liked it didn't justify everything he did and having taken you out of the party like that was not the right thing to do" you know that? I'm leaving, I'm not going to ruin my fun for you."

Before you could leave you felt how the vibe in the room changed and Minho's gaze was heavier, normally you held his gaze challenging him but this time it was different and you felt how your insides even trembled to the beat of your legs.

"You can't go" his voice was deeper and even though you wanted to yell at him the words didn't come out, but absurd so you just turned to leave.

The blow on the wood alarmed you and you saw how Minho's hand had been placed on the side of your head and the heat in his body was present on the bare skin of your back.

"You don't know what you're saying, that's why you're so upset…if you knew the truth, you wouldn't…"

"Do you think I care? You just talk and talk without getting anywhere, I'm starting to get fed up and all because of your stupidities" you had turned around and looked into his eyes the whole time without fear, what you didn't expect was what it would happen later.

"shut up or…"

"or wha…"

You hadn't even been able to complete a simple word when you realized that his lips were on yours, you didn't finish processing what was happening and your mind could only think about the sensation of his kisses.

Your mind left the talk, the anger and the boy you had left behind behind, now it was only thinking about what you had always imagined and was processing the moment before it slipped away or even before you believed that maybe it was just a fantasy, but when you opened your eyes and saw Minho as his eyes met and fell to your lips with a gasp, you realized it hadn't just been your mind.

He approached again and you closed your eyes waiting for a kiss that never came.

"Han must be looking for you, we better go."

This time he was the one who opened the door and I waited for you to go out first, stunned by what just happened, you let his hand on your shoulder guide you to where Han was.

"I was worried, where did you go?" You didn't answer him and you went to the car to the same place where you had arrived.

Han had taken care not to make the tension between you and Minho evident, but you couldn't help but feel an unsettling sensation in your body every time you reviewed the moment when his lips met, this time it wasn't your imagination. He had reached out to you.

You locked yourself in your room and took a cold shower trying to get rid of the heat that had accumulated in your legs but when you were lying down unable to sleep you decided to ease the pain thinking of Minho.

***

The days went by faster than you expected and you avoided thinking about Minho, but life had agreed with Han to bring him home more times than you could count, you spent the whole time locked in the room listening to his laughs and the occasional conversation.

Your mind wasn't helping either, going over and over again the party scene along with the things you had memorized about him, like the way his lips curved when he laughed or how his eyes turned a little darker when he talked to you, the way her laughter filled the room and the shape of her body.

You were going crazy, the worst thing is that no one could know so you forced yourself to bite your tongue every time you heard his name.

The day his parents went on vacation for a couple of weeks was torture, Han kept taking you everywhere and he wouldn't leave you alone for a minute, it wasn't until he wanted to go out with a girl from the class, but even so, he thought about it too much and the best idea that occurred to him was to order you with his friend.

"Just make sure he doesn't come out or no boy comes in," Han repeated to Minho at the door for the fifth time that night.

"Go away" you yelled from your room.

"Stop worrying, he's in good hands" Minho told him as he pushed him out of the house.

When you finally heard the door close a lot of thoughts came to your head. You were alone with your brother's best friend and the boy you liked. You didn't expect anything, but even the idea of being able to talk to him seemed dangerous to you.

"Are you going to be angry all night?" His voice took you out of your thoughts and you saw him leaning against the door frame with a smile on his face.

You didn't speak to him and you just turned to avoid his gaze, noticing that the wall in your room was smoother than yesterday. Minho put aside the good face and without asking for permission he entered the room sitting next to you trying to avoid seeing your bare legs.

"we can talk?"

Even if you didn't answer him, you had an idea of where he wanted to go and you had already had this conversation with you many nights and it always came to the same thing, you didn't want to live it now.

"What are we supposed to talk about?" you asked playing dumb.

"The party thing was bad" you heard how your heart broke a little, and even if you had prepared yourself for the blow it wasn't more painful than you expected.

"I know…"

"I shouldn't have brought you out like that but something in me turned on when I saw you with that boy" you were silent taking in his words without looking at him "at first I thought it was just because I was scared of what Han might do but…"

"but?" you looked over your shoulder and saw the boy for the first time, trying to prevent the flame in your chest from igniting again.

"forget it" again something inside you turned off but you wouldn't let it do the same thing twice so when he got up and left the room you followed him into the kitchen.

"You can't leave me like this" he ignored you without turning to look at you, you approached making him look at you and even though you were trembling inside you just let your words out- you're just giving me illusions.

"what are you talking about?"

"Please, don't play dumb now. That party thing wasn't just because of what you thought of Han, I know you're hiding something" he opened his mouth to speak, but you didn't let him "do you think I don't realize how you were looking at me in the rearview mirror or how you didn't stop doing it the days after, besides what was that kiss? It wasn't just my imagination, I felt it."

"You are crazy."

"Please stop denying him and accept that you like me."

"I would never like someone like you" despite his hurtful words you didn't feel anything because now everything was clear to you, you didn't know when he had gotten too close but their bodies were so close that if you moved you could reach their lips.

"Then kiss me and he says it again"

The moment the words left your lips, regret arrived, but you didn't expect him to take you by the shoulders and join his lips with yours. It was only an instant before your body exploded and you let the emotion follow your movements.

He didn't let go of you when you opened your mouth and hooked on his neck, his hands took your waist and brought you closer to his chest, your head couldn't think clearly and the only thing he was paying attention to was the way his lips They found their way to your neck.

You let out a few moans when the boy's teeth dug into your skin, but that was enough for him to realize what was happening and as if your body burned him, he withdrew, moving away from you as far as possible.

"We can't do this, I don't want Han to think that…"

"but what do YOU want?" Minho stared at you clenching his fists "tell me" you pleaded as you slowly approached to stop him from leaving again. Your hands held his face so he was looking at you and you felt something dark in them, something that choked his words in his throat.

"You don't understand" his voice broke a bit and you noticed how his body trembled seeing you with tears in his eyes "I want my friend close, I can't change it… but I also want…" he said in a low voice and You noticed how his face took on a new look, his eyes now shone and his hands wrapped around yours, approaching you while he confessed what he had wanted for so long "I want you to tell me that you love me too, I want to be able to go out with you and hold hands man, I want to be able to see you every day, I want to be able to kiss your lips all the time. I want you."

Your chest was filled with a warm feeling, you never wanted to forget this moment, you squeezed his hands and let your lips come together again but this time it felt a little different, more delicate, but soon the taste became an addiction and the kiss deepened.

"I love you Minho" you said following the wild movements and moaned from him when his teeth caught your lower lip but you let the pain spread throughout your body causing your belly to start fluttering.

You lunged at him again as his hands wrapped around your legs and he lifted you onto the flat surface, your hands running up his arms and across his chest, undoing the buttons on his shirt. You stressed his muscles to the edge of his pants and looked up to meet his leering eyes waiting for your next move.

You rushed to unbutton his pants and lower it just a little to discover his hardened member, you didn't think about it before taking it in your hands and beginning to massage it while he urged you to continue.

His hands had hooked on your breasts over your clothes, but you weren't wearing a bra so the contact he made with the garment made you open your mouth to moan when he tried to squeeze your nipples.

The moisture in your center made you rock your hips to seek friction so with his member still in your hand you took the tip to where a stain adorned your clothing and rubbed its length on you seeking the pleasure that both wanted to have.

Minho's head wouldn't stop spinning from everything you were doing and he didn't know how much longer he could contain himself, he had imagined this only a couple of times because of the guilt he had felt when he had perverted thoughts with his best friend's sister, But now that he was close to you and feeling everything you were causing him, he kept letting go of your name.

I needed to feel you completely, I took off your sweatshirt revealing your breasts and replaced his hands with his mouth sucking your skin leaving marks around your breasts and on your abdomen, he parted a little to see the mess between your legs. The liquid that adorned your shorts had expanded more than you thought and he couldn't help but think about how your pussy was begging for attention.

He got rid of the remaining clothes and felt how a new discharge of electricity ran through his body to discover your pussy throbbing around nothing and how you were all wet waiting for his cock.

"please Minho, I want you inside me."

"Wait a little more darling" controlling all his impulses, he lifted you from where you were to go to the room, but your moans in his ear and feeling against him was too much. He cornered you against the wall and the feeling of cold ran through your back causing your legs to hold him by the waist, he took the opportunity to align his member in you and enter inside you.

He kissed your lips while he let you get used to it and then his hips crashed against you starting a back and forth between moans and accumulated pleasure. Despite the fact that his hands held you, you felt like you could melt right there by the way his member moved inside your walls and the way he didn't let you breathe because of his passionate kisses.

You were short of breath and you felt like your legs had begun to shake, but this was not over yet. Minho left your feet on the floor and withdrew from you only to turn around and join his bodies again while he kissed your neck and one of his hands found its way to your clit.

Your hands could only be supported on the wall, scratching the smooth material while your chest heaved from its coldness. Minho's voice mixed with your moans and the noise of his hips crashing against you was the only thing in your head, because your body was submerged in a sea of sensations that made you closer to your limit every second.

You moaned at the sudden change in speed that caused you to fling to release your orgasm melting a bit, but Minho's hands held you from falling as he concentrated on finishing. The overstimulation in your body squeezed his member, causing him to fill your interior with his essence shortly after, which spilled down your thighs.

They stayed together for a moment until Minho decided to get out of you leaving you incomplete for a moment, you turned to see him and smiled when you saw his red face and messy hair with a slight layer of sweat on his chest.

"Is this what you wanted?" you nodded as he continued to give you little kisses, you led him to your room to clean up. "I guess this will be a secret right?" His question was obvious, too obvious, and you couldn't help the guilt that engulfed your body for a second.

"Maybe" you answered hugging him in the comfort of your bed "but we can't hide it forever."

"We'd better have a long talk with him" the mere fact of mentioning his name seemed painful but you couldn't deny yourself the happiness you had now and you didn't want to ruin the moment so you closed your eyes forgetting your brother for a moment.

#lee know stray kids #skz minho #lee know #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #minho x y/n #skz smut #minho smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids imagines #minho hard hours

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Hi! First off, I just wanna say that I love your writing! It is very very good and I enjoy it very much :D

Second off, I have a request for TWDG

So, how would Marlon, Louis, Clem, Violet, and anyone else you want to add react to their future S/O who has a cat they really really love. Like, say if reader was with Clem whenever her and AJ got rescued. When reader wakes up, they immediately start looking for their cat and when whoever come to check on them, they bring out a knife they have in their shoe and start threading them until reader gets their cat back.

You don’t have to use that idea, just a little thing I thought of. Thank you for your time and thank you if you decide to write this! (Btw if you do you have a request that’ll be prioritized on my blog!)

Have a great day/night!

(Hey! This is basically same thing on my other account, I copy and pasted the request so I could put it on both of my accounts if that makes sense lmao. Anyways, Enjoy!)

Marlon, Louis, Clem and Vi x Reader who's missing a cat Platonic, brother AJ and Sibling reader

MARLON

When they heard the crash and found you guys, Marlon didn’t see your cat around

Much less even know there was a cat in the beginning 

So when he heard you had woken up, at first he was sorta relieved but apprehensive

Didn’t help when first thing you did when meeting was pull out a knife they missed in your boot and point it at his neck

You were demanding your cat

Marlon was so fucking confused

“What cat- there was no cat when we found you two and the boy.”

“...whAt-”

When he finally explained, he felt bad because you looked so sad

Your heart was so broken

Your cat was gone

You didn’t know if it ran away or had been eaten by walkers

And Marlon also felt bad because he knew what it was like being attached to an animal

Like he didn’t know what he would do if he lost Rosie

Clem also helped you trying to find it, Marlon tagged along also

And there was no luck until Marlon heard meowing by the gate

He jumped ngl

He then saw the cat

He felt so proud when he returned it to you

Felt like a damn hero with his hands on his hips

He loves the cat also!

He doesn’t like when the cat tries to play with his haier thinking it’s a fellow cat but-

Rosie surprisingly liked it too

Your cat liked him a bit too

Because we all know that if your pet doesn’t like them they gotta go

So yay! All good

LOUIS

Louis when he came to check on you was kinda excited new people were at the school

He and the others hadn’t seen anyone for a long time

But that excitement quickly turned into fear when he was thrown into the wall with a knife to his neck

Hands up and saying “Ay! I come in peace!”

Only thing he got from your yelling was that you had a cat, your cat was gone, and you wanted your cat

Problem was…Louis had found it and claimed it as his own-

Dw he was glad he had what you wanted

But he found the amazing creature who loved him and he loved it

Was so sad that he couldn’t keep it

He missed animals

Except Rosie, loves her to but he hadn’t seen a cat in a long time

Once you took the knife away from his neck he was like

“Okay, thank you for not murdering me- and yeah, I got a cat. What does your cat look like?” 

And once you told him he felt so sad he had to part ways with the amazing animal

But nonetheless he gave it back

Felt happy he reunited y’all

And also was so freaking happy because the cat followed him around

You didn’t wanna tear him away from the cat so you let them hang out

And Louis and the cat are best friends now

The cats always on his lap or sitting on his shoulder when eating dinner or playing a game

Always plot

Anything and everything

Pranks, gossip, day-to-day routine

Have their own language

CLEM

You had been with Clem and by extent AJ for a while

So she was pretty used to your cat

She loved it also

The cat was so cuddly

Also AJ loved it also, ever since he was a baby he always seemed fascinated by the little cat

So when you and Clem woke up and you started freaking out about your cat

She sorta panicked also and tried helping you find it

When y’all were introduced with everyone at the school your cat was still missing

Until you guys went hunting, Clem heard meowing and thought it was your cat

And she was right, she found the little feline in a tree as walkers were trying to get it

Once she killed the walkers the cat seemed so excited to see a familiar face and jumped down to her

She walked back with your cat in hand and was so relieved when your eyes sparkled seeing your animal

She missed the cat too tbh

AJ also was excited to see it again!

VI

Vi before it all absolutely loved cats

I believe she had one at some point

When the world went to shit she didn’t think about cats a lot

But when she did she never thought she would see one ever again

So when she went with Marlon and Louis when they heard the crash

She was shocked when she saw you, Clem and AJ all in the car surrounded by the dead

And even more shocked when she saw a cat there

The cat didn’t stick around though, hesitant but ran off when it saw the three teens

Vi was a bit sad but helped you guys out

When she heard you woke up and went to check on you she also got a knife to the throat and was threatened

When she heard you saying you wanted your cat it seemed like it clicked

She explained to you what happened to the cat and you seemed scared a bit

Like the cat could’ve been eaten or gotten hurt

So she helped you in finding the cat

In the hunting grounds, maybe in the school or she once snuck you guys out to the train station to go and find it

But no luck

Until one day she found out it had snuck through the gates and hid behind some of the bushes

She got it out with some food and it liked her a lot 

It rubbed it’s head against her hand when she picked it up and let me tell you she loved it so much

When she returned it to you she was happy at how happy you two seemed

But it didn’t end there

No ma’am 

The cat loves sticking around her

Y’know those movies where someone dramatically sits in a chair, turning it around with a cat in their lap and is like

“I’ve been expecting you…”

THAT'S VI AND THE CAT

“I’ve been expecting you, (Name).”

“...How long have you been waiting there for me to come in?”

“A while actually. Louis came in and I thought he was you but he passed out in fear- I’m pretty proud of myself.”

You can’t tear them away from each other

Ever

PLATONIC AJ

You had been with Clem since the beginning, and there when AJ was born

AJ never remembered the cat coming along, in truth it was there before he was

The cat was pretty old

But he loved it so much

He never really understood there wasn’t a lot left

But he always liked holding it and how the cat always liked nuzzling its head against his hand

So when you and Clem were asleep, he was angry he couldn’t see you guys and was in a strange place with people he didn’t know

He was also angry because your cat was missing

So he tried finding it everywhere

The others didn’t know what he was looking for because he didn’t tell them and didn’t wanna talk to them without you guys

Everyone just sees him looking under tables like

“Kitty? Where’d you go? (Name)’s gonna wanna see you when they wake up.”

So let’s just say when you guys woke up he felt sad and a bit disappointed in himself because he couldn’t find the cat

So he tried even harder

And he did find the cat

And he felt so proud giving it back to you once he did

The cat also was so happy to see him

Little cat member of the family

#twdg season 4 #twdg imagine #twdg x reader #twdg clementine #the walking dead game #the walking dead game headcanons #twdg vi x reader #twdg violet #vi x reader #violet twdg #twdg louis x reader #twdg marlon x reader #twdg aj #the walking dead game season 4 #the walking dead game x reader #the walking dead #twdg louis #twdg marlon #twdg s4 #clementine x reader #marlon x reader #louis x reader #vi x you

[noblecorgi]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

It took me forever to do this because the Tumblr iOS app won't let you copy/paste an entire post, only a paragraph (what the heckle freckle?!)

So thank you @ic3-que3n @thewholelemon @shrekgogurt@youarenevertooold and @aristocratic-otter. I had to actually get my personal laptop out because I don't use Tumblr on my work laptop. That's how much the tags meant to me.

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

On The Rocks, the first six chapters of which are out!

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Rapunzel + Snowbaz = Natasha and the Mage both suck

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Northern Irish TrAuMa

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

On The Rocks was almost called Eyes of Claret Red

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

On The Rocks, or my beta will hurt me.

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

So when I started On The Rocks it was very very vaguely inspired by The Devil Wears Prada, so I named it the Vampire Wears Prada, but fat fingered it as VWWP, so then it has become a joke with my beta that it is called VWVWVWVVWVWWVVVVVVWWWWP.

Most of the chapters are saved as a key smash of VWP.

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

What the? He didn’t even say what he wanted. She just knew. I’ve seen Gran do this. It’s like posh magic. Like they don’t need to do anything, just wave a posh  hand like a wand and the world reacts. I can’t do it. Don’t have the voice. Or the…I dunno aura.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

An earlier sketch had Fiona and Nicodemus much more prominently featured. Nicodemus doesn't even show anymore.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I grew up in the tail end of the Troubles in Northern Ireland, and I have a sketch of a Snowbaz in the Troubles story. Simon would (obviously) be from a prominent Republican family, while Baz would be the heir to the most prominent Unionist one (*cough*the Pitches are the Paisleys *cough*). Large bits of it are essentially reworking my dad and his siblings' experiences through the 70s and 80s.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

I'm actively working on one, and feeling guilty about not working on another. But I have a document of ideas I've had that I add to periodically and sometimes I randomly write a scene from them.

That document has 6-7 in it.

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

The balance between realism in my portrayal of addiction, and actually moving the plot forward without it being too depressing.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tagging @monbons @palimpsessed@prettygoododds@ileadacharmedlife @messofthejess @martsonmars

#ask game #writing #work in progress #my wips #wip #mostly I'm writing my exploration of trauma and alcoholism #but I have a big history/Irish SnowBaz in me #it will be painful to write because ahahahahaha trauma #but I can't do anything but trauma

[ruggiethethuggie]

Just Let Me Help You

Summary: Work has been long and stressful for Ruggie this week, but he is too stubborn to ask for support so his s/o takes it upon themselves to find ways to help out a little and show him love.

WC: 1893 Tags: fluff, one shot, gn!reader, Ruggie Bucchi, established relationship, HE IS AN ADULT HERE WITH A REAL JOB AND A REAL LIFE, stressed out Ruggie, s/o hates doing dishes (lmao same), some curse words, not proof read in the slightest © please do not copy and or repost my work as your own, my brain is massive and these are my thoughts.

You were standing in the kitchen, organizing the mail from the past few days. Work had been long and stressful the past week for both you and Ruggie, so it wasn’t a task high on your priority list, but since you were able to leave work early today you figured now would be a good time. You heard the familiar rattling outside the door, Ruggie fumbling to put his key in the lock, his hands more than likely full of his belongings. You glanced at the door as it opened, his exhausted face breaking your heart.

“Rug, … you look exhausted,” you said quietly as he walked into the kitchen. He sat his keys and jacket on the table, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and tossing it on there as well. He sighed heavily as he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you and putting his head on your shoulder. Ruggie worked hard, almost too hard sometimes. He did everything he could to make your lives easier, but somehow, in some way, something always would create a hiccup in paradise.

“I am very tired,” he pouted. “I just want to take a long, hot shower and go to sleep.” He squeezed you tighter as you wrapped your arms around his back and rested one of your hands on his head. “Come on, Rug, you know I won’t let you go to bed without dinner,” you laughed as you ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his head. The strands of hair seemingly danced in between your fingertips.

Ruggie groaned as he released his embrace around you and lifted his head off your shoulder. “I know, I know,” he said in a sullen tone. He walked back to the kitchen table and sat in the nearest chair, propping his head up with one of his arms on the table. “I want an off day, just one. I’m tired of working every damn day of the week and feeling like nothing changes.” You frowned behind him. Seeing him down was hard for you, he was always the one who tried to stay optimistic between you two, but the constant working and consistent hard days were weighing on him hard right now.

You placed your hands on his shoulder, trying to massage them for him, maybe that would help some. “Rug, what can I do to help?” you asked. He tilted his head back and looked up at you. “I don’t want you to have to do anything for me, I’ll be okay,” he said with a slight smile. You knew he was lying, he was just too stubborn to ask for help. You cocked your head to the side and gave him a look. “What? I swear I’m fine, I just need to take that shower and I will be all bright eyed and bushy tailed,” he said grinning. You gave a sarcastic “mhm”, letting him know you could see right through his act.

He got up from the chair and patted your head before giving your forehead a soft kiss. “I promise I will be fine, please don’t worry about me,” he said sweetly. He walked upstairs, leaving you alone in the kitchen. You know he wasn’t trying to hurt you by lying, but you hated knowing that he would rather lie and say he was fine than to ask for help. Even if it was just making his day a little easier, you wanted that for him. It would be one less thing for him to worry about.

You looked around the kitchen, deciding what you wanted to do. Cook or clean. Realistically, his showers didn’t last that long, but with how stressed he was, you knew they would be a little longer than normal. Cooking dinner and cleaning would take too much time. You decided that maybe ordering out for tonight would be a good idea. Ruggie was simple when it came to restaurants, he didn’t care much about fancy places and rarely complained about menu options and lack of variety. You knew that a nice, meaty dinner would make the beastman’s mouth water.

Quickly, you pulled out your phone, opening your UberEats app. Would Doordash be cheaper? It didn’t matter, what mattered was making sure the food was here before Ruggie was back downstairs. You wanted to surprise him when he came back into the kitchen. You placed the order, a steak and baked potato dinner for two. It said it “should” arrive within the next 30-40 minutes, maybe that would be enough time. You snuck upstairs, trying to be quiet as you walked in your bedroom. You rummaged through the drawers, looking for clothes to give him for after his shower. He wouldn’t have to search for anything to wear, it would just be there for him to grab. You pulled out some of his favorite lounge pieces, a simple tee and some joggers. You slowly opened the bathroom door, trying to make sure he didn’t hear or see you put them in the bathroom for him. You placed the clothes on the bathroom counter, grabbed his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, and closed the door quietly. Ruggie didn’t say anything to you, so you assumed your sneakiness outwitted your boyfriend.

Back in the bedroom, you gathered all the dirty clothes you could find. You struggled to pull out your phone from your pocket and hold all the clothes at the same time. Checking the time, you had maybe another 15-20 minutes at best before he was fully out of the shower, dressed, and back downstairs. That was still enough time to do a few more things for him, just to show him that you know how stressed he is and you want to help in any way that you can. You went back downstairs, toting the dirty laundry in your arms and finally putting it in the washer. After adding the detergent, you turned the washer on.

Turning around, the stack of dirty dishes in the sink caught your attention. Doing the dishes was a chore you hate doing, something you and Ruggie agreed would be one of his chores since you two moved in together. You were going to suck it up and do these damn dishes tonight. There was no way you were going to let Ruggie stress more over a pile of dishes that you also helped create.

You rolled up your sleeves and started cleaning the dishes. The thing you hated most about doing the dishes was the leftover food residue that would touch your hands if the dishes weren’t rinsed off well enough. Something about floating bits of food in soapy water did not seem like a fun time to you. Ruggie was always on top of it when he would take your plates and utensils from the table. It was rare if he didn’t rinse the dishes, but with how long this week had been, most of the dishes hadn’t been rinsed. You can do this, it’s just dishes.

You sped through cleaning the dishes and putting them on the dish rack, wanting to be done with it the moment you started. As you dried your hands with the hand towel on the stove handle, you heard a light set of knocks on the door. Your food had arrived, and just on time you thought, as you heard movement coming from upstairs.You rushed putting the food containers on the table, getting you both something to drink, and lighting your favorite vanilla scented candle on the counter before wiping your brow. It didn’t hit you until then how much you had actually done in the short amount of time Ruggie had showered.

“What’s that smell?” you heard Ruggie ask as he came off the stairs and walked towards the kitchen. You looked at him, seeing him smiling widely at the table. “Well, you’re stubborn. So I did what I could to help,” you said teasingly. He laughed as he walked over to you and pulled you in for another hug. He smelt so fresh, and you could feel his skin was still slightly damp. A small droplet of water from his hair hit your cheek. “Ahh,” you almost shouted, wiping it off your face. “It’s just water, you aren’t going to melt, you goofball,” he snickered.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have done all these nice things for you then,” you pouted as you tried to get out of his embrace. “No, no, please. I’m only playing. What’s for dinner, tell me?” he asked, sitting down at the table as you took your own seat. “Welllll,” you started to say. “I figured you could use a nice, really yummy meal, so I ordered us steak and potatoes.” Ruggie opened his togo plate, his eyes lighting up at the food in front of him. You opened yours as well and started to eat.

“At least these are in togo plates, they won’t be added to that stack of dishes behind me,” Ruggie said as he turned to look at the sink. “Oh..,” he said looking back at you. “You… you did the dishes?” The question was his being both sarcastic but also impressed. “Hey, shut up, I was trying to help,” you said with a laugh. Ruggie smiled as he kept eating. “Your laundry is getting done, too,” you said motioning to the washer. Ruggie turned as he took a bite of his steak, his mouth half full in his response. “Ohh, so that’s why you came into the bathroom.I was wondering why you didn’t say anything,” he laughed. You hung your mouth open in shock, you thought for sure he hadn’t heard you. Maybe you were louder than you thought. “You heard me?! Why didn’t you say something, I thought I was so sneaky,” you said, putting shredded cheese on your potato. “I mean…. Look at who you’re with, you can’t out sneak a sneak,” he said tapping his temple twice.

Ruggie toyed with his food a little and smiled at his plate before looking up at you again. “Ya know, it means a lot to me that you’d do all this when you don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me,” he said softly. “You are my absolute world, I love you dearly.”

His words were warm and comforting, a sensation you loved feeling while he spoke. “Rug, I love you, too. That’s why I want to help you, even if it’s something small, I just don’t want you to feel like the weight of the world is on your back. Let me help you carry it. I don’t mind doing stuff for you, you do stuff for me all the time. I just want to care for you, the way you care for me,” you assured him.

“Thank you, I’ll try to ask for help more, that is IF I feel like I need it,” he snickered. You narrowed your eyes at him, he couldn’t stay serious longer than 5 minutes to save his life sometimes. “You are such an asshat, I can’t stand you,” you teased. Ruggie grinned as he gave your nose a boop. “No, no, you love me. I know you do,” he purred as you both continued to finish your plates.

#~.twst #ruggie bucchi #ruggie x reader #ruggie twst #ruggie twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twst x reader #ruggie fluff #ruggie bucchi fanfic #ruggie bucchi propaganda #ruggie x gn!reader

[euphoniumpets]

NO MOURNERS, NO FUNERALS | CHAPTER FOUR

Prompt: ''Run, run, that's all we ever do from our past but it will come back haunting us.'' You paused, staring into the brown eyes that you once had fallen in love with. ''Do you think it'll stop before we even die?''

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. 

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x heartrender! reader

Warnings: ptsd, trauma flashbacks, alcohol, violence, blood and gore.

Tag list: @athenasproverbs @natsgaygf @lyria-skyfall @crystallizedtime @xcharlottemikaelsonx @honeynicoole @motheroffae @queenofshinigamis @outlawqueen17 @wolfleah @natsgaygf @dumb-fawkin-bitch @outlawqueen17 @britishbassett

A/N: so glad that you guys are enjoying this series as much i am writing it! thank you all for the likes and reblogs. I will put some small glimpses of the reader's past but everything will be explained further in season two! all of these chapters are not proofread.

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten

You remembered when the firepox began and how sick Jordie and Kaz was. You tried everything in your power to keep them healthy and alive, but you weren't a healer, you were just a heartrender. You were saving your money so that the three of you could survive, but it wasn't enough.

You remembered when Jordie coughed with a raspy voice that only got worse as the night went on. It was keeping all of you up, knowing that you needed to rest if you were to recover. Kaz was next to you, clinging his arms protectivly with no symptoms just yet, but you feared that he was going to be worse soon too.

It was only a week that Jordie had fallen ill and you heard how his heartbeat was faint, almost giving up but Jordie tried to fight his very last breath. To this day, you could hear how his heart stopped during the firepox. It was one of the few reasons why you stopped using your powers. Every time when you heard the heartbeats, it filled you with sickness, but as the time went on, the feeling disappeared, but the haunting memory of Jordie started to appear.

''I got a new lead,'' You heard Kaz reply as soon he walked inside of your shared room. You snapped your head to him, surprised that you didn't hear his footsteps. You were too deep in thought to remember Pekka Rollins and how he destroyed your life to realize Kaz had walked inside of the room.

''What is it?'' You asked. ''A man who goes by by the name of the Conductor,'' He answered and leaned against the door. You nodded and took of your coat. ''You were thinking of him, weren't you?'' Kaz asked and narrowed his eyes. You bit your lip, trying to hide a smile as you walked behind and changed your clothes. Kaz knew you too well.

''You know me,'' You spoke, turning your head to look at him before walking out of the chamber. ''It wasn't your fault,'' He replied. ''I know, yet, I couldn't to much at that time,'' You sighed before taking your coats.

''We're getting Jesper?'' You asked and he nodded, not letting the conversation further. You handed him the coat as you put on your own before walking out to the streets.

Thinking back earlier, it was the reason why you stopped using your powers. The memories of Jordie haunted you too much and you couldn't bear of using them. ''Jesper, new job,'' Kaz spoke as you spotted the Zemeni boy. ''Come along,''

''I mean it, We need a demo man,'' Jesper told the two of you. ''You're still on that?'' Kaz questioned and shook your head. ''Of course he is,'' You muttered. ''I just brought it up tonight,'' Jesper replied.

''Jesper, you ask for an explosives expert on every job,'' You remarked and arched an eyebrow. ''Because I don't want to be the one you point and say: explode something for us,'' Jesper commented. ''That's not Jesper talent, I shoot with style, and I look good, just play my strenght, boss,'' You shook your head and hid your smile.

''Alina Starkov will be kept at the Little Palace, entering the Little Palace requires us to be quiet, blowing something up, we've likely failed,'' Kaz informed. ''And it would be a result for death,'' You commented.

''Morbid,'' Jesper spoke. ''Then we should take Inej, she's a good investment, more quiet and she can't stay here, you know that,'' Jesper told you. ''Trust me, I know,'' You told him. Jesper grabbed Kaz's coat, only to realize his mistake when Kaz looked at him with a glare. Jesper pulled Y/N in front of him, sending Kaz a small smile before hitting Jesper on his arm.

''Whoa, hang on, aren't we on Pekka's turf now?'' Jesper questioned with wide eyes. ''I got Heleen now and ask for her buyout, she knows that we need Inej and sets a price that I can't pay,'' You told him as Jesper looked at you.

''That's evil, well, how do you know that?'' Jesper asked. ''It's what he would do,'' Kaz added as they looked at the building. ''Besides, Inej refuses to kill, would you trust her in a matter of life and death?'' You questioned.

''Yes,''

''Well, I've trusted her this far and I'm still alive, so, yeah,'' Jesper commented. ''Now, you want to tell me why we're scoping out a rival club?'' Jesper asked as while you and Kaz exchanged a look. ''We got a lead,'' You replied. ''To have a talk with an old buisness partner,'' Jaz filled in. ''The bouncers will know you on sight,''

''Make sure they don't see us,'' Kaz told Jesper. Jesper nodded as Y/N and Kaz backs against the wall as you heard a gunshot wearing off. ''You!'' One of Pekka's bouncers exclaim as Jesper turns around at the man and held his hands in the air, acting innocent.

''You heard that too?'' You heard Jesper question the man. You and Kaz let Jesper do the job while you followed him into the building. You let Kaz leading the way until they reached to the familiar door.

''Boris why would you..''

''It's been a while, Poppy,'' You spoke as they see Kaz and Y/N standing in the middle of the doorway. ''Hiya, darling,'' Poopy greeted them and grabbed the gun and pointing it toward Kaz. ''I see you're still upset,'' Kaz replied. ''About you stealing my shares of the Crow Club?''

''It wasn't stealing, it was just a raw deal, most deals in the Barrel are,'' You spoke with a smile. Poppy lowered the gun and placed it back to the vanity. ''What do you two want?'' Poppy asked.

''I need you to find someone, or at least learn how to find them, tonight,'' You told Poppy. ''Looking for a club act, aren't we?''

''That's why we have Jesper,'' You commented with a chuckle. ''We're looking for the conductor,'' You told Poppy. ''So you know him,'' Kaz replied when he noticed Poppy's expression. ''This is about a job, isn't it?'' Kaz rolled his eyes. ''One that sends you all the way east for a million Kruge? You'll never make enough to compete with Pekka, you know? He's a king, you're just the Bastard of the Barrel,''

''The prettiest one out of the two,'' You commented and you saw the corner out of your eye that Kaz gave you a look. ''Tante Heleen wrote you?'' Kaz questioned. ''Just this evening, you snoop, she was asking about the conductor as well,''

You and Kaz shared a concerned look. ''Probably about the same job, so, I warned him to steer clear of her,''

''You warned him? With a note?'' You asked as Poppy nodded. ''She wanted you to do that so she could have the messenger followed,'' Poppy informed. ''She wouldn't hurt him, would she?''

''She would if it meant hurting me, now if you have any loyalty to him, tell me where he is: right now,'' Kaz demanded as Poppy wrote down the directions on a note and handed it over to Kaz.

-

Jesper, Y/N, and Kaz walked with a fast pace. Knowing that Kaz had a limp, he was quite quick. ''Saints, he's fast,'' Jesper breathed out as they tried to keep it up. ''I know,'' You responded. ''Have you two done anything?'' Jesper questioned, making you look at him and roll your eyes.

''It's none of your buisness, Jesper,'' You replied. ''Jesper, guard the door, Y/N, you're with me,'' Kaz ordered. ''Got it boss,'' Jesper said and you followed after Kaz. They walked through the building and searched for the conductor. Kaz looked at Y/N, asking if she heard any heartbeats.

You scanned the hallway, hearing two heartbeats near. You nodded as you followed after the sound, Kaz following shortly after. ''Don't,'' Kaz spoke, a knife comes flying across the room and you shoved him away. ''He's our way to Alina Starkov,'' You replied and looked at Inej.

''Him?'' Inej asked with disbelief. ''Heleen knew it,'' You told her softly. ''She was using you to sabotage our mission,'' Kaz added and she shook her head. ''She and I made a deal,'' She revealed with guilt flashing her eyes.

''It isn't worth more than what we get him alive,'' Kaz told her. Inej turns away from the conductor and looked at Kaz. ''You choose him over my freedom,'' Inej spoke and looked at you.

''Inej, you assume It's one or another,'' You told her. You watched her pull away her knife from his throat, leaving a small cut. You watched as Kaz approached the conductor. ''Conductor, we have a job for you,''

The man stared at him with a frightened look. ''Get us to the Little Palace,'' Kaz told him. The man didn't spoke but nodded. ''Good, Inej, untie him, I will be waiting outside,'' Kaz replied and turned around to walk outside of the room.

You followed after Kaz. ''At least he's still alive,'' You told him from behind.

''Jesper,'' You spoke, watching the boy jump with surprise. ''Saints, Y/N,'' He replied. ''Inej will be out in a moment with our guest, then we go back to the Crow Club and get ready to leave,'' You informed him as you all watched Inej walk out. ''What are you going to do with Inej?'' You asked him as you all walked back to the club.

''Don't worry, I have a plan,'' Kaz told you and you just raised your eyebrow in response.

-

You waited for Kaz's return and you don't notice Kaz walk inside of the room, but you heard his heartbeat jump. You looked up from your book with an arched eyebrow when you caught him staring at you. ''How long did it take for you to notice when I stepped into the room?'' He asked and placed his hat down at the desk.

''Oh please, I noticed when you were close to the door,'' You responded with a small smile. ''Just wanted to see your reaction,'' You replied and chuckled. ''I paid Tante Heleen a visit,'' Kaz said and that made you look up from the floor with a frown. ''Why?''

''Kaz,'' You told him with a stren voice when he didn't answer your question. Kaz grabbed his coat and hung it up on the wall. ''I put up my shares of the crow club as collateral,''

''You what?'' You exclaimed and walked over to Kaz with a shocked expression. You didn't understand why, but you could understand why he did it. Hell, you would've do it too since you would do anything to protect your crows. ''Inej?'' You asked him softly.

Kaz didn't say anything and kept his gaze on the floor. ''I couldn't let her stay here and let's face it, she's the one who's pulling us together,'' Kaz admitted. Ever since you bought Inej, Kaz had always a rival against her. You didn't know why. Inej was such a sweet girl and you adored her, but Kaz on the other hand was a harsh critic.

You tried to assure Inej that nothing was personal, but Inej believed that Kaz hated her. Little did she know that Kaz tried to protect his crows. ''And here I thought that you didn't had a soft spot for her,'' You teased him after a long silence.

Kaz looked up from the floor, hiding a small smile out of the corner of his mouth. ''What can I say?'' He shrugged. ''You're the one who trained her after all,'' You smiled. Maybe Kaz and Inej could put their rivals behind and befriend each other.

-

Getting into a stuffed carriage on the way to Novokribirsk and then 3 hours on a boat, you felt exhausted. You sat near Kaz since there was no room between them. You knew that Kaz had a dislike for touch and the only thing that could keep him insane was you. ''I didn't hire you simply to get us across the Fold, you're with us because you smuggle Grisha out of the Little Palace, and that's the location of our target,'' Kaz told him.

''Sun summoner,'' inej corrected him. ''Alleged,'' You and Kaz spoke at the same time, sending Inej a look. ''They wouldn't keep a fraud in the most secure place in all of Ravka,''

''If it meant attention, they would,''

''You said you have a contact who can get us inside, a heartrender,'' Kaz told him as he nodded. ''Nina grew up there,'' He told you. ''Most Grisha grew up in the Little Palace,'' You told him, giving him a look. ''Very few would betray their general, and fewer still would help foreigners kidnap their most prized posession,'' Kaz continued.

''Nina is a radical, thinks Grisha should get to choose if they serve the Crown, she despise involuntary service more than she does Fjerdans,'' They pulled up to a building where you expected where Nina should be and you noticed the innkeeper counting Fjerda krydda. ''She knew to expect us,'' Arken says.

You looked around the room, seeing that she packed her stuff already and had gone away. You saw the corner out of your eye that Jesper picked up a piece of bread on the plate and began to chew it. You sent him an amusing look. ''She isn't late, she's gone,'' Kaz stated.

''Yes, but her things are all...'' Kaz trailed off and lifted the cover of her bag and you saw a wolf symbol beneath of it. ''What is it?'' You heard Jesper's muffled voice ask. ''Jesper, close your mouth while chewing,'' You told him.

''Yes, mum,'' Jesper spoke with a muffle voice as he kept chewing on the bread, sending you a look, making you roll your eyes. ''Drüskelle, they're ruthless Grisha hunters,'' Arken stated and you frowned as you watched him pick up the pin. ''Explains the Fjerda krydda the inkeeper was contain when he arrived,'' You muttered. ''It's likely he ratted her out,'' Inej walked over to the window.

''She's probably captive on a ship to Fjerda by now,''

''They had a clear line of attack,'' Kaz replied and looked at Inej. ''Take a look, make sure there aren't more surprises,'' Kaz told her as Inej jumped off the balcony. ''Well, that's that,'' You and Kaz looked at the Arken. ''We've lost our way into the Little Palace,'' Arken commented as you all walked out of the building. ''All clear,'' Inej spoke.

''This seems like a reasonable juncture to abandon this whole Sun Summoner plan,'' Arken said as Kaz turned around and you narrowed your eyes. ''Abandon?''

''We're in this now, and I know what a million Kruge means to me, what does it mean to you?'' Kaz questioned and looked at you and then at Inej and Jesper. ''Freedom,'' Inej answered first before Jesper followed after.

''Fun, like, at least few months,''

''Retirement,'' You spoke. ''Right, so we press on, get us across the Fold and I'll figure out the rest on the other side,'' Kaz replied and looked at the conductor. ''Fine,'' The conducor said with a defeating voice and held out a pad of paper. ''To cross, I'll need 2o pounds of alabaster coal, a peck of Mejdalon jurda, uh, not the kind from Kerch, it's too weak, and uh...'' You watch his eyes trails on Jesper.

''A goat,''

''A goat?'' You questioned. ''A goat,'' The conductor replied, not giving you anymore questions.

''Now, we meet in the dead of night, there's a wreckage of a skiff northeast, on the edge of the town, so, who get's what?''

''Inej, Y/N and I will get the goat, and jesper...'' Kaz trailed off as you looked at Jesper. ''Just the coal, no detours,'' You warned him as he smirked in response and grabbed the list off Kaz before all of you departed ways.

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone a playlist #inej gafha #jesper fahey #six of crows #shadow and bone x reader

[pankowfruitsnackswriting]

on the rocks (r.c)

My work is NOT to be transferred, translated, reposted or copied to any other sites without my permission. That is plagiarism. But you can re-blog the heck out of it on here :)

paring(s): Rafe x single!mom

summary: as the couple prepared for the wedding, problems began to arise between them, shedding light on a bigger problem. (Part five in the WILLOW SERIES)

warning: single parent, slight mention of shitty family

(master list) (tag list)  

The couple has been engaged for almost six months. They knew the process wouldn't be all sunshine and roses, but neither Rafe nor y/n prepared for the conflicts.

"All I'm saying, y/n, when we combine our finances, I can take care of you and Willow. You won't need to work some dumb assistant job." Rafe sternly spoke, hip rested on the counter. His wife to be sat at the kitchen, head bowed.

It was late, Willow asleep in her room, but the only time the couple could truly talk it through. "But I am your assistant. I love getting to work along side you and for you. I want to bring something to this marriage and help out." He tried to cut her off, but she persisted. "I want to work."

Y/n didn't want to sit around and be some trophy housewife. Working gave her purpose and fulfillment outside of her daughter.

"Babe all I am saying is you can persue painting and we would still have more than enough to live comfortably." For some reason that rubbed her the wrong way, setting off an undefinable emotion with her heart. Instead of blowing up, y/n took a deep breath and turned to him.

"Rafe, I think we need time to cool off and we can talk about it tomorrow after work. I just-" Rafe slightly huffed.

He wasn't sure when he got angry over this, but he let it fester deep within. Maybe it was something kelce said about Rafe needing to be the bread winner, or some kook socialite saying it's unprofessional for a wife to work for you. He just wanted her to live without any worry, even if it meant he had to work harder. "Yea. Sure. That works. I'll go."

Y/n's heart shook in fear with every short response he gave. The man shuffled for his keys and b-lined it for the door. "Rafe I-"

"Love you too. Bye." And he was gone. What happened? She knew the engagement put on more pressure, but the fights over things that seemed trivial were draining, if it wasn't work, it was education for willow, and if not living arrangements, it was honey moon details. It worried her how Rafe would just walk out first chance he got. Maybe he was trying to give her the space she needed but the lack of communication caused many restless nights and anxious thoughts. This would be another sleepless night.

It wasn't much different for Rafe. The large man sat in his spinning chair at the office. He was so accustomed to holding y/n tight as he drifted into slumber, his own bed felt foreign and he would much rather get some work done then waste time replaying every mistake that took place prior. Rafe's mind drifted to the painful look she gave him as he walked out. It's how he imagined his face looked when his dad would head to the office during his birthday celebrations or when he was sharing something with him. Why was this harder?

By the time the two made contact in the office, instant regret flooded the room. Y/n rushed to the tired man, rubbing her thumbs across his cheeks. "You didn't sleep here did you?" She already knew the answer due to the wrinkles in yesterday's clothes and dried drool on his cheek.

"I just had some things to finish up." It was half the truth. When he was at home, sometimes the temptations for past things haunted him. At the office, he felt in control. He never knew how to explain it to her, but sometimes he just needed this as a distraction.

"You're working more than usual, Rafe." Y/n's voice was stern yet caring. "You'd yell at me if I worked half as much as you have been."

His voice became defensive. "Of course I would. You have a kid."

Y/n physically reeled back. "Willow. Her name is Willow." It was the first time he made her daughter feel like a problem.

"That's not what I meant." Rafe appologized profusely.

"She's my kid. My problem? Is that how you see it?"

"Just listen, I didn't-"

"No, you listen to me Rafe. We talked about Willow. You said she was your daughter, that you loved her like your own. But it seems to be whenever it's convenient."

Worry etched every line of his face. "One time. I wasn't thinking."

Y/n's breathing became labored as she tried to remain calm. "That's not how being a parent works. Maybe I have more thinking to do."

"Wh- what do you mean?" Rafe stopped all motion and stared at his fiancé in fear. "You don't-"

"Maybe we just need more time. So you can either start thinking like a parent or realize you want out." Her heart shattered just thinking about the thought of losing him, but everything was overwhelming, the fights, the engagement, and much more. Maybe it was her insecurities, but y/n had to think for her daughters sake.

"Baby." His eyes watered. "Please."

As monotone as she could, y/n looked him dead in the eye. "I'm taking a sick day." With that she walked out, barely holding it together.

Rafe threw his papers off his desk, fighting the rage bubbling inside him. God why couldn't he think before he speaks. Rafe felt like the biggest fuck up possible. Did he really just lose the two best things in his life.

Ward happened to be on his way to drop papers off for his son when he saw his future daughter in law rush out. "Y/n!" He wasn't greeted with the typical smile and that worried him. "What's going on?"

Nothing prepared him for the words that answered. "I think I just broke up with rafe?" Her voice shook in question, unsure of the events. Tears began to pour out with no care who was in ear shot. Rafe was bound to hear the heart wrenching wails.

"What happened, Sweetheart?" He tried to consul the girl now in his arms.

"I have to go. I can't be here. Consider this my two weeks. I'm so sorry, I just-"

Ward could barely process what she was saying. "We'll work this out. I want you here at the company. You're a valued member."

"What about-" she couldn't bring herself to say his name.

"Take the next few days off, when your ready we'll talk. You can work through me from home." He didn't want to lose her and Ward didn't want his son to lose her completely either. She was the best thing to happen to the family.

"I don't know, I just need to leave." With that she rushed out, leaving the two Cameron's to share some heated words.

- It's been a week since y/n saw Rafe and the distance felt like a death sentence. She took Willow to the mainland to get them out of anything that reminder them of rafe. okay The poor younger girl didn't understand why he wasn't around, just that mommy was sad when she asked if he was joining. "I'm sorry mommy. Don't cry mommy."

Y/n ran a hand over her daughters hair, smoothing out the knots caused by the ferry ride. "It's going to be okay."

"Rafe will come back. He promised." More pain surged the mothers heart. Part of wanted to scream at Willow and say that Rafe had to much pride to reach out and he's the one who ruined it, but it would be the farthest from the truth. He texted her nearly any chance he could, leaving an abundance or voice mails. Sometimes he wouldn't even speak, just the shakey breaths and whimpers. She was the one running it. She chose to ignore him for the sake her own pride and dignity. The way she love Rafe terrified her, but she didn't want Willow to be more hurt.

All of a sudden her phone began to ring. She tried to ignore it, believing it was Rafe again but something deep down urged her to check. 'Ward Cameron.' Hee screen flashed.

"Hello, Ward."

"Hey sweetheart, how are you doing?" He kept his voice soft, noticing hers was shaking.

"I'm fine. Is there something that you needed?" Talking to ward seemed to be a lot harder for the only fact he wasn't his son.

"I know you're taking time off and spending time with Willow, but I was wondering if you could swing by the office so we can chat? Please. Willow is more than welcomed. You know I love her." Y/n let at a heavy sigh. She hasn't been to the office since she walked out on Rafe, but it was a Sunday and from what she heard he was visiting Topper.

"I think Willow would love to see you. We will head there when we get back."

"Good. Good. Well I will see you two then." She hung up and let anxious thoughts consume her.

Y/n's body shook as she gripped her daughter, stepping of the ferry and the whole way to her office. It wasn't long before she was unlocking the work place.

Willow began to squirm, looking around the space. "Rafe?" Her small voice called out.

"Shhh. He isn't here, Willow."

The child continued as she began to wail. "I want rafe. H- he promised he would be my friend. Why does he hate me?"

Y/n heart shattered. Rafe did love Willow. The mother knew it without a doubt. She had let her emotions cloud judgement and pushed him away. It was her own insecurities and she fucked it up. "He doesnt hate you."

"He said he would be my dad so people would be my friend." The mother set Willow down, allowing her to run and search the office in anguish. "He doesnt want me."

Ward heard the commotion, stepping out in sight. "Running in my office? You're lucky it's after hours."

"Papaw!" She sobbed, running to him.

"Hello, sweetheart. How are you doing?"

"I miss, Rafe." Ward's eyes fluttered to see the tear stained mother. "Where is he?"

Y/n tried to speak but feared she'd burst any second. There was no way she would embarrass herself infront of her boss. "He's been super busy. I'm sure he just hasn't had anytime."

"He doesn't love us, does he mommy?"

"Shh, baby girl." The mom did everything to console her daughter who was now a mess in her arms. "Please calm down." Within ten minutes, Willow managed to wear herself to a sleep.

"Poor girl, is missing her naps."

"I don't think that's the only thing she misses." Ward placed a warm hand on y/n's shoulder. "It's okay if you miss him too."

It was if that was all she needed to release all the buildt up emotion. Tears and cries poured out from every crack in her heart. "I didn't listen to him. I didn't want to listen to him."

Ward set Willow down on a comfy chair then tended to the mother. "Things are stressful it's bound to happen."

"I'm just so scared. What if he just changes his mind and dips? That would hurt way worse then right now. Willow is young enough she'll forget eventually." All of it was true, but she also didn't want to live without him. It's been hell for them and it would be a lot worse. Only Rafe would make it better.

"When rafe was about Willow's age, he played on an instructional soccer league. Every Saturday, he would kick around a ball with some other kids. Nothing to special. Around the same time, I started working those Saturday's." Ward scrunched his face to hide the emotions he felt. "The way he'd walk in with a smile until he saw me, then silently rush to his room. I don't think I'll ever forget that. I know he hasn't. He still brings up the first time and everytime I wasn't there. Kids don't really forget it, they bury it deep and it becomes who they are."

"What are you trying to say?"

"It's better to work on it. If you let this go, what lesson will that teach Willow? That people argue so you have to leave before you get left? I see fear in your eyes. Just talk to him."

"Is that why you called me here? To get me to talk to him?"

"You guys both are hurting and I worry about you both."

Y/n let out a shaky sigh. She knew Ward had only the best intentions and that he was right. Any anger she held onto was released through more silent sobs. "I think I ruined everything."

"I highly doubt that. Rafe looks at you as if you were the sun and stars. He stares at the picture of the three of you when dragged him with you the first time. He still loves you and where there is love, and only there can forgiveness take place."

His words brought hope as she frantically stood up. "I need to go talk to him. I can't keep running."

"I got Willow. She's more than welcome to spend the night." Y/n embraced the older man, still sobbing on his chest.

"Thank you." With that, the woman ran to her car and sped the whole way to Rafe's home. The living space he desperately wanted to bring Willow and herself into. A place he brought to show how much he loved them and appreciated them. The life she nearly denied him of.

But he hurt her feelings, dismissing her wants. Both parties really needed to communicate on this.

—

Rafe sat at his desk in a back room, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. Where did things go so wrong? What happened? Sure he's been stressed with work and the wedding in a month. It was a large adjustment. He was just praying the pair could survive.

That's when he heard sniffling that pulled him from his thoughts. There she was, in her most purest form. Completely vulnerable and broken. "I'm sorry." She whimpered.

Rafe stayed speechless. "I'm so used to complete control. It makes me feel secure. I know what ever happens would be on me. But I also love working for you. I love watching your face light up when you complete a small task, how you hold my hand in meetings. I get to spend time with you in a different setting. But I don't want any of the that if I can't have you. If I can't guarantee you come home to Willow or me. I want you."

"Y/n. I love you. I don't like or agree with you ignoring me and not communicating that, but I have had time to think and really do some searching of what I want." She held her breath, fearing this would be the end, but he continued. "I also don't like you working for me. It feels so wrong when I see you as an equal. Much more than that. Fuck were litterally engaged." His eyes widened. "We are still engaged, right?"

"Yes."

"So be my partner. Don't work for me. Let's work together. If you want a day off, take it. You can do whatever you like. We do it all together. It is a family buisness after all."

"Rafe-"

"I mean it. What do you say?"

"Can we take tomorrow off?" Y/n sheepishly smiled.

"What do you have in mind?"

"An us day with Willow. And your family. And we could go on an adventure."

He grinned. "We could take a family trip to the mainland."

"Or maybe the courthouse?"

#willow series #rafe cameron #Outer Banks

[xoxiu]

first love of late spring - ot7 x reader

chapter four table of contents masterlist join the taglist discord

summary: falling, falling, falling- that's what you shouldn't be doing as a young intern at hybe. falling in love with your supervisor is frowned upon, especially all seven of them. you'll never learn, will you? guess you’ll just have to be their dark secret.

tags/warnings: intern!reader, poly relationships, stockholm syndrome, age regression, spanking, drug use, sugar daddy au, dubcon, body dysmorphia

taglist: @frieschan

February 1st was your first day starting as a social media manager for BTS. Scratch that- not a manager, but the social media manager. Your new position came with many amazing benefits, and you liked working from home when you weren't with the band. It felt like you were amongst the popular kids at school for once. You followed them around all day, taking pictures and videos for their socials. It almost felt like a dream- your job was to be their friend and photographer. They treated you more as a friend than a staff member. 

Then there was dealing with the fans. Being sneaky and having a secret fan account on multiple platforms allowed you to see what the fans were liking and into, giving you more ideas for the official pages. That meant you were in on all the inside jokes, leaked information, as well as what was trending amongst the fandom. 

Back in your youth, you ran a fan Twitter account for One Direction. You understood the fans better than anyone else because you were in their positions at one time. Times have changed over the past decade (you didn't even want to think about how long it's been), but getting back into the groove of things was easy enough. 

"y/n, you don't have to be so formal with us," Jimin would tease you all the time. While your job was fun, you were still a staff member. The boys would call you out constantly on you referring to them as 'sir', complaining about feeling old, and whatnot. They saw you as an equal and awaited the day you felt like one too. 

Today was the filming for a Run BTS episode. You didn't entirely understand the concept of the game- all you knew was that they were painting something and whenever they asked you to take a photo, you would. It was adorable- they would hold up their paintings like proud little kids. The photos would be posted to their individual Instagram accounts, so you would send each member a copy on KakaoTalk. 

"I think y/n should be the judge!" Taehyung said, standing up from his chair and pointing in your direction. You looked up from your phone in confusion, only having heard your name and 'judge'. The boys noticed your deer-in-headlights look and let out an endearing laugh. 

"Just tell us who you think has the better painting. We'll film a male staff member saying your answer so you don't have to." Yoongi said. You appreciated not having to have your voice in the recording. 

You gave each painting a very good look. Namjoon painted what appeared to be the Han River. Seokjin painted a rainbow that had been destroyed by brown paint, most likely by Jungkook that sat next to him. Jungkook didn't have much on his paper, obviously focusing more on disrupting the other members. Taehyung had an all-black abstract drawing that almost looked like it belonged in a modern art museum. Jimin's painting was of a variety of flowers in a bouquet, also destroyed by Jungkook by a brown marking of 'JK' right in the middle. Yoongi and Jimin seemed to have a combined painting that illustrated the seven members of BTS as crudely drawn stick figures when placed side by side. You chuckled at Yoongi's portion of the picture where he drew Seokjin with comically large shoulders. 

"Yoongi wins solely for how he drew Jin," you said, smiling at the excessive cheering from the normally calm member.

It really was days like this when you enjoyed your job. 

You sat in one of the production lounges on your laptop, editing some promotional photos for Instagram. Stretched out across the length of what had to be the building’s comfiest couch, you let out a long yawn before checking the time. 

A text alert is shown as you checked your phone. An unknown number had called you before sending a simple text. 

‘Hey y/n it’s Jin, are you busy?’

You smiled as you responded ‘No’ with a smiley face. You had no idea where or how Seokjin got your personal number, but you didn’t let that thought bother you much. Once you felt your phone buzz with an incoming phone call did you sit up straight on the couch. 

“Hello? Seokjin?” You asked. The line was quiet for a moment before you heard Jin’s voice through the phone. 

“Hey, could you come to our dorm? It’s not urgent or anything.” 

“Sure! Just text me the address and I’ll be right over,” You replied, standing up and starting to exit the building. There were the sounds of shuffling and muffled voices through the phone, making you wonder just what was going on over there. 

“Actually,” Jin suddenly said, “It’s nothing. You don’t have to.” You stopped in your tracks, now very curious and concerned about what was happening. 

“No, no. Come over. I lied,” Seokjin said quickly after, correcting himself. “We want you to come over.”

————

Jimin roughly nudged Jin with his elbow once the phone was hung up. There was no way he didn’t sound suspicious during the call- stumbling on his words and even backtracking on what he said. They were lucky you just followed along. 

“Fuck,” Yoongi said, holding his head in his hands, “Now we need to think of a real reason why we needed her here. Jungkook missing her isn’t a good enough answer.”

“I think it’s fine…” Jungkook mumbled to himself. 

Namjoon looked across the room and into the kitchen, coming up with an idea upon seeing the state of it. “We could tell her we needed help putting the cabinet knobs back on.”

“We need our social media manager to help us with home renovations?” Yoongi questioned Namjoon’s idea.

“We wanted to film a TikTok?” Taehyung suggested. 

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go with that one!” Seokjin said. 

————

By the time the bus had arrived, the sun was close to setting. You kind of started to regret agreeing to come- it was late and you were quite tired. Finally, you had regulated your sleep schedule to be like a normal adult’s, and the members of BTS had to screw with it. What else did you expect from them?

Within seconds you were buzzed in and headed to their shared penthouse. All seven of them had their own apartments by now, but they all chose to live together still for the majority of the time. You often questioned how they were able to do it for so long- you had two roommates back in college that made you question your sanity at any given moment. 

You barely even knocked on the door before Jimin opened it with a smile. He ushered you inside, and you stood in the entryway in awe. The dorm was beautiful and big. Much, much bigger than your tiny apartment that probably couldn’t even fit seven people in it. The ceiling was high up and the doorways were arched, making everything feel so much bigger and fancier. 

“y/n! Thank God you’re here!” Taehyung said, running up to you and hugging you. You awkwardly stood there, allowing him to hug you. Never once had you had any physical affection or contact with them, and it felt like a weird time to break the boundary. You laughed slightly as he let go of you. 

After taking off your shoes, you were led into the living room where the other members sat. It was odd- everyone acted as if you weren’t needed and that there was nothing you needed to do. The sitting members all smiled and waved at you, remaining in their spots on the couch. 

“So,” you clasped your hands together behind your back, swaying slightly on your feet. “What do you guys need?”

“We just-” Jungkook started to talk, only to be interrupted by Namjoon. 

“We wanted help filming a TikTok!”

You stared at him confused. Filming a TikTok was something they were more than capable of doing by themselves. You had directed some and given them ideas, but for the most part, they would just film it themselves. It felt more natural and created more of a connection with the fan base. 

“You could’ve just done it yourself, you know,” You let out a chuckle. 

“We couldn’t think of any ideas for one,” Hoseok said. He stood up from his spot on the couch and motioned for you to take his seat. You pretended to ignore him at first, but he only kept insisting you take a seat. 

“I mean, there’s a trend of AI face filters right now. You each could do that.”

“Yeah! Let’s just play around with filters,” Taehyung said, pulling out his phone. “Wait, y/n has an iPhone. Can we use your phone instead?”

Without hesitation, you handed your phone over to Taehyung. The seven of them took turns playing around with silly filters, doing their best to keep you out of the shot. You happened to glance over at one that turned Jungkook’s face into a creepy unicorn. 

Hours passed by eventually, and you took your leave. You stood up from the couch, trying to locate your phone. A chorus of disappointed ‘aww’s filled the room at your sudden insistence on leaving. 

“It’s already 22:00 and the buses have stopped running. It’ll be a long walk.” You claimed. Jungkook stood up and walked over to the windows, observing the dark skies and falling rain. 

“It’s pouring rain out there. We can’t let you leave in this- you’ll catch a cold.” He said. The others agreed with him excitedly. 

“Or I could just drive-”

“No! It’s too dangerous. We’ll fix the couch up for you tonight.” Taehyung interrupted Seokjin and his logical solution. Everyone soon began to hunt for spare pillows and blankets for you. 

“It’s fine, guys. I really don’t need to stay here.” You slowly began to approach the front door, hoping no one would notice you leave. Hoseok snuck up behind you, blocking your path to the exit. 

“Nope, no way. We’re older and know what’s best,” he said, guiding you back to the couch. A crack of lightning struck and illuminated the dorm, making you jump at the sudden strike. 

“Awh, you’re afraid of storms,” Jimin said, placing the last of the blankets on the couch. “Now we’re definitely not going to let you outside in this weather.”

The couch had a plethora of blankets and pillows piled high on it. It seemed like each member brought at least two of each for you to sleep on. When you pointed out the hilarious amount of blankets and pillows, you were told that it got cold at night. You looked over towards the thermostat on the wall that read 23°C. The members pretended to ignore your questioning stare. 

You gave in eventually and got settled in on the couch. They made sure you were tucked underneath each of the six blankets and placed some pillows on the floor next to you. 

“Just in case you roll off in the middle of the night,” Namjoon said, seeming like he was speaking from experience. 

Within minutes of the lights turning off and the boys going to bed, you were out like a light. 

Yoongi, Jungkook, and Hoseok snuck out of their rooms at one point, standing in the hallway and watching as the city lights illuminated your sleeping body. They watched as each breath caused the blankets to move up and down, and as you softly snored. 

“You’re crazy for having this idea, Hobi,” Yoongi said with his arms crossed. 

“I mean, it sounds like a pretty good plan,” Hoseok tried to defend himself. “Jungkookie really wants her, and I figured it would be fun for us, too.”

“We do really want her, hyung.” Jungkook said to Yoongi. 

“We? What part of this involves ‘we’?” Yoongi asked, before letting out a sigh. 

“Yeah, I guess it is we.”

#bts fanfic #bts x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #bts #jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #jimin x reader #namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #yoongi x reader #seokjin x reader #bts little space #first love of late spring

[ujimoo]

For Tonight, For The Weekend, Forever. | KSM

synopsis: going home for your childhood friend's wedding was the easy part, however, facing him was something else entirely.

pairings: seungmin x fem!reader, jisung x OC, chan x OC.

includes: past love, first love, angst, best friend!Jisung, weekend romance, heartbreak, second-chance romance.

WARNING: mention of mature themes, suggestive - implied sex, but no actual smut. mature jokes (one death joke, sex jokes), drinking, mentions of eating and multiple restaurant 'eating scenes', maybe more i’ve missed - let me know if i have

word count: 24,976

a.n. Here it is! My longest fic I have ever written for tumblr. As I said in the teaser, this original idea comes from the song Tis The Damn Season by Taylor Swift, however, as you can tell, it's changed a lot since the original idea. ALSO, I just want to say a massive thank you to Galaxy from @plutominho for being my best friend, the greatest editor, the best person to brainstorm with and for being my number one supporter, I love you so much more than I could possibly describe. Thank you for putting up with me when it came to writing this fic and thank you for putting up with me in general haha.

a.a.n. parts in all italics are flashbacks!!

permanent tag list: @awooghan​ @soobin-chois @curlytxe @treetops68 @minniee-bear 

tag list: @smally97 @blueleventprint @heeverseblog​

It’s the sounds of typing coming from your best friend Gwen’s laptop that keep you awake– barely. Looking down at the book that was led out on the desk in front of you, you sigh. Your brain feels numb and everything you read leaves your mind the moment you look away. 

It doesn’t help that the library you’re currently sitting in was eerily quiet. Sure, it was late and many other students had given up on studying at this point and you couldn’t blame them, but at the same time. It was almost too quiet. 

“Did you get the invite to the wedding?” Gwen’s voice causes you to jump out of your skin. The sound of Gwen’s bubblegum-like voice definitely wakes you up. 

Rubbing your eyes with the back of your hands, you question her. “Get what?” 

“The invite,” Gwen says slowly. “To Mina and Chan’s wedding.” 

Shrugging and pushing the book away from you. You lean back against your seat. 

“I don’t know,” you starts. “Maybe, I haven’t checked my mail in a few days.” 

Glancing over at Gwen, who smiles a small smile, you copy her.

“Well make sure to check, Mina will kill you if you don’t go,” Gwen laughs. 

You nod your head as you begin to shove your now discarded books into your bag. It was late and you had had enough of trying to study now.

“Yeah yeah, I know, I’ll check,” you hum. “Also, make sure not to stay here too late. At least get that Dofus you call a boyfriend-...” 

Gwen quickly cuts you off,  “not my boyfriend.”

This was enough to cause you to mentally face-palm. Shaking your head, you put your backpack over your shoulders. 

“Either way, don’t walk home alone in the dark.” 

“Yeah yeah,” Gwen says. “Just make sure to catch up on sleep okay? And actually, eat something good for once!” 

You don’t look back at your best friend, but raise a hand to signal that you had in fact heard her last words and made your way back to your apartment. 

Your apartment was small and outdated. The air was dry, yet somehow, you were sure there was mould growing in the corner of your living room and whilst you knew you should call your landlord, you just couldn’t be bothered. 

Not long now, you thought to yourself. 

It wasn’t long until you could move out and move on from the place for good. It wasn’t long until you could get a better one, maybe one closer to home. Somewhere where the rent wasn’t as hefty. 

Somewhere that actually kept the warmth in. 

Letting your bag drop onto the small couch and you ran a hand through your hair. It wasn’t until a moment later that you remembered about having to check your mailbox. You didn’t want to, maybe you could make up some excuse that you forgot or that you misplaced your mailbox key, but you knew Gwen wouldn't stand for it. 

“Shit,” you mumble, grabbing your keys once more and heading back out the door. 

Thankfully, you only lived on the first floor, so it wasn’t that much of a journey down to the postroom. 

The main entrance and the postroom were completely different to the rest of the building. They were in pristine condition compared to literally everywhere else. As if the main entrance was to lure you in. That’s how it happened to you at least, with promises of how the rest of the building would one day look like the polished main entrance. 

Promises that were never kept.

 Going over to your personal mailbox, you take the key and unlock it. There wasn’t much in there like you normally assumed. The usual; bills, junk mail, more bills. However, wedged between two letters was the card you had been looking for. 

A white card sprayed with gold edges. It was definitely it. 

Delicately turning it around and you smile lightly at the fancy lettering. This was definitely the type of invite one Kim Mina would send.  

‘You are invited to the wedding of Kim Mina and Bang Chan’. 

Closing your mailbox and quickly locking it back up. You make your way back up to your apartment. Carefully placing the invite onto your mantel above your non-working fireplace and stare at it for a moment. 

Then the moment passes and you grab your backpack once more and head straight for your bedroom. There was a lot to think about when it came to the wedding, the most notable being who would be in attendance. That thought was something you didn’t want, so for now, you’d ignore it– until you couldn’t anymore.

→→

The second time Gwen asks about the invite, you’re both walking between classes. Whilst you weren’t the same majors, you were lucky enough to finish classes at the same time. So, that’s what you would do every Wednesday since you both started that year of university:

You’d finish class at the same time, meet at the main entrance to the building, Gwen would walk with you to your next class and then Gwen would wait around for her boyfriend, that isn’t her boyfriend– long story– jisung to meet her after his own class finished at 5 pm. 

“So did you get the invite or not?” Gwen asks. “You never said anything about it last time.” 

Pulling your bag straps closer to the middle of your chest, you hum in response. “Oh yeah, I got it.” 

Gwen makes a face, basically telling you to continue, but you decide to stay silent.

“And?!” Gwen gasps. “You’re going to have to respond soon, Mina will be pissed if you don’t go, you know this.” 

“I know!” you whine. “It’s just, I know I’ll see him.” 

“And?” Gwen repeats. “This is our best friend since childhood’s wedding. Don’t let her dumb brother make you miss out on something like that and anyway,” Gwen gulps. “I’d be more scared of Mina’s wrath of you missing her wedding than of you having to face him for like four days.” 

You sink into yourself at the thought of it, “true.”

Seeing him was one thing, but Mina’s wrath was a whole other thing entirely. The one way to describe that of Kim Mina and that was the devil in human form. Sure, she was the kindest person you and Gwen had ever met. Mina would do anything for anyone she cared about, however, Mina was blunt. She was more than blunt, she was ruthless and said things how she saw them. She couldn’t sugarcoat things just to sugarcoat, but that’s what made her words mean so much more. 

All the Kim siblings were one and the same, like carbon copies of each other. Mina, her twin brother and their younger brother, Seungmin. Aka the man you didn’t want to see.

“If you really don’t want to go, then you don’t have to.” Gwen pats you on the shoulder. “But remember what I said, don’t let him be the reason for missing out on something like this. She’s only ever going to have one wedding.”

Stopping outside of the building of your next class. You nod your head. 

 “You’re right– and don’t say I told you so,” you quickly add when you see the look of mischief on Gwen’s face. “I’ll tell her I’m going tonight when I get home.” 

“Good,” Gwen smiles. “You can drive down with me and Ji.” 

You instantly let out a groan as you lean your head back., “And listen to you flirt fight or whatever the heck it is you do for like six hours?” 

“We do not do that!” Gwen rolls her eyes. “And hey, it’s up to you, I was just thinking it would save you gas money…” 

you give in instantly. Screw gas prices and their ways of rising prices. Can’t they just think of students for once?

“Fine! But I swear to God if you guys flirt the whole way I’m going to scream.” 

Gwen pushes you in the direction of the doors and repeats herself. “We don’t and we won’t!” 

you found it hard to believe her, but you decide that it was easier just to give in.

→→

By the time you got home, it was dark and you felt sticky and damp. With the changing of the weather, you had begun to dress more warmly in the morning only for you to be sweating your ass off by the time midday rolled around. To be fair, you did this every year, but still, you never learnt. 

The feeling of having to go up one flight of stairs was enough to make you feel mad.  Pulling off your hat, your frizzy hair springs up at the lack of force smothering it down. Shoving it into your bag, you put your keys in between your lips for a minute as you struggle to take off your scarf and shove that in there too. 

Taking your keys from your lips and rushing towards your door, and unlock it. Stripping off your coat in record time, you let that and your bag fall to the floor. As you stumble to the bathroom, you take off your trousers and let them trail behind you. Flicking the light on, you head straight for your shower, turn it on and as you wait for it to heat up, you go to your bedroom to get yourself a set of pyjamas for after your much-needed shower. 

The shower was nice, it was everything you needed after the day you had. You were thankful that you were able to wash away your worries about the wedding and how you were able to reminisce on the words Gwen had told you and you were even able to practice what you were going to say when you would inevitably call Mina later that night. 

You turn off the shower and step out, shivering at the cold as you wrap yourself up in your towel. You dry yourself, putting on some underwear and your pyjamas. Not bothering with anything like body cream, you make your way back through the hallway, picking up your discarded trouser, your coat as well as your bag. Hanning up your coat, and resting your bag on the couch, you threw your dirty trouser into the washing basket before going back to dig your phone out of the depths of your bag. 

Scrolling through the notifications on the lock screen, you ignore the notifications that were from useless apps you even forgot you had, like random tweet alerts from Twitter, video notifications from youtube and focused more on your text message alerts. 

There was a string of texts from a group chat you have with Gwen and jisung and you make sure to click on that one first. 

Wannabe Spiderman: 4:55 pm 

Gwen told me ur riding with us to the wedding… sick! 

Princess Gwen<3: 4:56 pm 

Never say that again, you’re such a dork. 

Wannabe Spiderman: 4:56 pm

U hurt my feelings, that is so not sick! 

Princess Gwen<3: 4:57 pm

I hate you omg

Giggling away at Gwen and Jisung’s exchanges, you type out your own message before quickly hitting send. 

y/nnie stupid: 6:02 pm

Weren’t you guys together at this point? 

Also, who changed my nickname? 

Princess Gwen<3: 6:03 pm

Yes, and who do you think? 

y/nnie stupid: 6:04 pm

The dofus?

Princess Gwen<3: 6:04 pm

DING DING DING! WE HAVE A WINNER! 

Wannabe Spiderman: 6:06 pm

I feel like u guys just like ganging up on me

Just say ur jealous of my great nicknaming skills and go

y/nnie stupid: 6:07 pm

Sure we are, sooo jealous. 

Wannabe Spiderman: 6:08 pm

BULLIES ! all of you !

Rolling your eyes and laughing at jisung’s texts and you back out of the message chain before clicking into a private one between you and Gwen. 

Gwen<3: 6:02 pm

I know you’re worried about this whole wedding thing and having to see ******** again, but it’ll be okay. I’ll fight him for you and you know Mina wouldn’t want anything bad to happen either. 

y/nnie<3: 6:09 pm

Did you really censor his name? 

Gwen<3: 6:10 pm

Of course, I did. He makes you upset so he must not be named in our sacred texts. 

y/nnie<3: 6:10 pm

Lol, i love you

Gwen<3: 6:11 pm

Love you too<3 

But, for real, the wedding will be okay, you won’t even have to leave my side if it makes you feel better. I have my own room at the hotel, we can just share so you won’t have to be alone?

y/nnie<3: 6:13 pm

Okay, would love that. I need to call Mina before it gets too late, but I’ll tell you how it goes at some point later. 

Try not to kill sung when I’m gone.

Gwen<3: 6:15 pm

Yeah, you must! 

And no promises<3 

Closing the app, you soon pull up Mina’s contact and let your thumb hover over the call button. 

It was now or never. You had to, you couldn’t push this off any longer even if you wanted to– which if you could, you probably would. 

Clicking call, you hold it up to your ear as you bite at the skin around your thumbnail on your other hand in anticipation. It felt like the ringing tone was mocking you– if it could even mock you? You weren’t so sure anymore. 

The call clicked through and the bright voice of Mina rang through your speakers and into your ears. 

“y/nnie!” Mina exclaims. “How are you?” 

  Humming, you smile as you respond,. “I’m good, how are you?” 

“Good, I’m good too.” 

you can practically hear Mina smiling through the phone and you’re is inclined to try and match it. 

“So, what are you calling for?” Mina asks. 

you quickly respond, “about the wedding!” 

“Ah, great! Calling to say you’re coming right? Cause I already have you set down as so.” 

you laugh and attempt to nod your head before realising Mina couldn’t see you. You knew Mina would do this, you knew that she knew you would go regardless of how you felt. 

“Yes yes, I’m coming so don’t think otherwise.” 

“Good,” Mina hums. “I was worried for a second there when you hadn’t responded to the invite that you weren’t going to.” 

“No, I’m coming.” 

“You better, I’ll hunt you down otherwise,” Mina adds before letting out a laugh. 

“Yeah, I know you would.” you laugh too. “And good for me, I am going so no need to get the hunting tools out.” 

You can hear movement in the background and Mina soon turns her attention back to your conversation. 

“I gotta go y/nnie, I’m sorry, Chan is going to be back soon and I’m in the middle of preparing dinner.” 

“Okay,” you respond quickly. “I need to do some food too.” 

“Yeah, you do,” Mina states. “And make sure it’s something other than ramen this time around.” 

Rolling your eyes, you hum, however, you couldn’t fight her because she wasn’t wrong. “Yes, mother.” 

Sharing a laugh, you both quickly say your goodbyes and end the call. You were actually starting to get hungry. Mina mentioning food had made you realise it and thankfully you had actually gone shopping for once, a few days beforehand. So, you definitely had something other than ramen that night. 

→→

You weren’t sure how you ended up aimlessly wandering around at some house party. Gwen had dragged both you and Jisung there as a way to 'celebrate' the that it was the beginning of the final year, but she promptly went off somewhere leaving you and Jisung alone. That was until jisung saw something or someone and disappeared without you even knowing. 

Sure parties were fun, and you liked a good party now and then, but as you stood idly, on the front porch, hoping to catch a glimpse of either of your best friends, the party had lost its spark. 

The air was still cold and your knitted jumper did just a good enough job of shielding you from it, but even with your sweater paws, every now and then a shiver would run down your spine. You wondered if it would be a good time to walk home. Sure you knew, that it was dark and it was a dumb and dangerous idea to walk by yourself, especially without informing your two best friends, but even after an hour at least, you still hadn't found them. 

It was boring, you were bored. You just wanted to go home and find something to watch and prayed that you kept yourself warm enough so you didn't catch a cold. 

"You alright?" You jump at the sudden voice next to you and turn around to see Seungmin with a concerned look on his face. 

You knew Seungmin– well knew him a bit, you had had classes together all throughout high school, but something in you changed within the last year that made you look at him differently. You weren't sure what it was exactly, but something about him made your heart flutter. 

"I'm okay," you smile. "I lost my friends, I thinking of heading home." You laugh at your words. 

"On your own?" He asks and you nod in response. "But it's dangerous, what if something happens?" 

"Eh," you push your lips into a thin line. "What's the worst that could happen?" 

"A lot of things?" He responds to your rhetorical question.

Turning your body to face him, you smile. "I'll be fine, plus if you're worried so much you could always walk me back?" 

Seungmin blinks and the sides of his mouth lift into a smile, one that makes your own even wider. You shocked yourself at your own confidence, but what surprised you more was the fact he agreed. 

"Okay," he hums. "I'll walk with you." 

"You sure?" You ask, pointing casually at the front door. "Not worried about leaving the party so soon?" 

He shakes his head and motions for you to lead the way. "Nah, the party doesn't seem to compare now." 

The walk back with him was an experience like no other and Seungmin is almost charming, showering you with compliments. Saying how the walk back with you is more fun than he's had in the past hour and a half he had been back at the party. 

So when you slow down and stop outside of your house, it's sad. You didn't want to part ways with him just yet, this was the most you had spoken to him in one go, and you didn't want it to end so early. 

Turning to him once again, you smile. "Thank you for walking back with me." 

"Thank you for your company," he smiles. 

Looking up at him, your smile doesn't leave your face and his own seemed to mimic yours. 

You couldn't tell how long you had both been standing there, looking at each other, but just like the walk, you didn't want it to end. He steps forward, leaning his face closer ever so slightly and whispers. "Can I say goodnight?" 

Butterflies erupt in your chest as you question, "In what way?." 

“A special way, with your consent of course,” he responds.

He doesn’t wait for you to finish nodding.

Your first kiss with Seungmin is short and sweet and you can taste a hint of cola on his lips. 

It didn’t matter that you had nothing to compare it to, but something in your heart knew that you'd never want to kiss anyone else if it wasn't Seungmin's lips on yours.

→→

Wannabe Spiderman: 10:05 am

We’re on our way now bishh

Gwen is yelling at me already, so pls be ready :D 

y/nnie stupid: 10:06 am

I’m ready and honestly, you probably deserve it

Wannabe Spiderman: 10:06 am

What is it with u guys and bullying me…

y/nnie stupid: 10:07 am

Love u too<3

Princess Gwen<3: 10:09 am

WTF I DIDNT YELL AT YOU YOU LIAR 

y/nnie stupid: 10:09 am

Focus on the road?!?!!!

Wannabe Spiderman: 10:10 am

She was at a stoplight

And she did btw

y/nnie SHE JUST HIT ME

SHE DID IT AGAIN

y/nnie stupid: 10:12 am

Please don’t kill each other before we’ve even left, thanks<3

You finish typing out the text, hit send and roll your eyes as you lock your phone before slipping it into the pocket of your coat. Grabbing the small suitcase you packed basically the night before, you open and hold the door open with your foot as you try to wrangle your way out. Succeeding, you let out a huff and begin to roll the suitcase to the stairs and quickly make your way to ground level and out onto the main road. 

By the time it took you to get outside, Gwen was already parked up with the trunk of her car open. She’s leant over it, clearing the bags back up so there’s a space for your stuff

“Where’s the dofus?” you laugh, your suitcase coming to a stop beside your feet. 

Rolling her eyes, Gwen motions to the space in the trunk for your suitcase. “I sent him down the street for coffee. I need it, especially for this trip.” 

Lifting up your suitcase, you attempt to slot it into the free place and your mind begins to wander. It had been a month since you had originally called Mina to tell her that you would be attending her wedding and for the first week since then, you genuinely felt okay, you felt good– really good. However, the past few days had been different. It was like all of your anxieties were inside of you waiting to escape– just like a shaken-up coke can. 

Your hands go up to close the trunk, however, it slips from your fingers and slams shut. This causes you to jump in surprise. Standing there, staring at the girl with a concerned look, Gwen tilts her head slightly. 

“You good, y/nnie?” she asks.

You quickly nod, your thoughts coming back to you. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” 

Gwen continues to look at you but decides to move on for a moment as she checks to make sure the trunk is properly closed before going around to get into the driver's seat. Looking over the top of the car at you, Gwen finally speaks once more.

“Please sit in the front, I can’t deal with Ji’s yapping in my ear constantly for six hours.” 

bursting into laughter and clapping your hands together, you nod.. “Will do.” 

You both get into the car and you turn to the blonde-headed girl next to you. 

“I’d say, if I didn’t know you I’d say you despised Ji.” 

Gwen lets out a groan, rolling her eyes as she looks at the steering wheel in front of her. 

“I don’t hate him, you know I don’t hate him,” Gwen sighs. “He just frustrates me.” 

“Because you love him and don’t know how to tell him.” 

Gwen’s head snaps in your direction. “I don’t love him! God, why would I love him?! He’s just a goddamn idiot.” 

Staring back at her with a blank expression, you blink. “Could you be any more of a tsundere?” 

Gwen mimics her words and makes a face to herself in disbelief. She stares out of the large window and down the street. Looking out for jisung making his way back to the car. 

“And don’t try and distract me, I know you’re acting weird and that your mind is going crazy on you,” Gwen explains. 

“I’m fine,” you fake a laugh. “Finer than fine.” 

Gwen snorts a laugh, “Bullshit! You’re freaking out because now you really have to go to Mina’s wedding, and see Seungmin and there’s no way for you to back out.” 

Feeling your cheeks begin to heat up, you look away and try to focus on something else. You don’t even try to deny Gwen’s claims, especially since she was right.

“And you’re not even fighting me on it,” Gwen tuts. “Seriously, babe, I’ll beat him up if he tries anything. I have your back.” 

You scoff and look back over to the blonde. “You couldn’t hurt anyone even if you tried.” 

Mimicking her words again, Gwen rolls her eyes. “Well, it’s the thought that counts.” 

“But is it though?” you ask rhetorically. 

“Look, we both know jisung couldn’t hurt a fly, so it’s up to me to be the badass of the group.” 

“That’s automatically Mina’s role,” you add. “And you love to burn him when he isn’t even here to defend himself.” 

“Well,  she’s not here right now is she? and of course I do, I need to get serotonin from somewhere.” 

“You need to stop being so mean to him,” you laugh causing Gwen to shrug. 

“He knows I don’t mean it,” Gwen responds, looking down to fiddle with her fingers in her lap. 

“Who knows you don’t mean it?” jisung’s voice causes both of you to jump out of your skin. Gwen looks around to see jisung is leant up against the car door, peering through the window with a tray of coffees in one hand. 

“Coffee,” Gwen hums, instantly going to grab one. “And no one it doesn’t matter.” 

jisung raises an eyebrow and looks over at you and just shrug your shoulders. Pouting, he looks back over to Gwen. “I thought I was sitting in the front?” 

“You’ve been demoted,” she says sipping away at her coffee. you weren’t sure you had even seen the girl as happy as she was with a coffee in her hand. 

“Fine,” jisung huffs. “I got you a caramel latte, y/nnie.” 

“And you’re the best,” you smile, leaning over to grab the hot drink from him.

Getting into the back seat, jisung leans forward between the two front seats. “So what were you two lovely ladies talking about just then?” Jisung cheekily smiles. “Gossiping about how you’re both deeply in love with me and can’t decide who should get the honour of dating me?” 

Gwen rolls her eyes and fakes a gag. “God, you’re obnoxious, you wish.” 

“You’re not my one-of-a-kind type of guy, sorry Ji,” you laugh, sending him a look.. 

“Well, I’ll have–” Jisung begins to speak, however, Gwen covers his mouth with her hand causing the rest of his sentence to come out in muffles. 

“We weren’t talking about that and don’t press on it okay?” Gwen asks. 

Gasping, Gwen quickly pulls her hand back before hitting Jisung in the shoulder. 

Looking back and forth between the two of you,, Jisung sighs. His eyes settle on you and frowns. “This is about Min isn’t it?” 

“Jisung!” 

“It’s fine!” you laugh. “It’s not like he doesn’t know anything about it.” 

Pushing his head back through the gap in the two front seats, he smiles, patting you on the shoulder. “I can protect you y/nnie, don’t worry.” 

It only takes one shared look between you and Gwen to turn to him, blink and burst into laughter. 

“What?! Why are you guys laughing?! I can protect her!” 

“You-” you hiccup as you try to speak. “You’d cry if he even looked at you the wrong way.” 

Jisung rolls his eyes as you both soon start to calm down, however, when you guys look at him again, both of your laughter start back up. 

“Bullies,” jisung mutters to himself, leaning back into the seat with his arms crossed. “All of you.” 

Gwen wipes her eyes, turning her attention towards the steering wheel. “Okay, okay,” she repeats as she tries to calm down. “We need to get going if we want to be there before nightfall.” 

 “Want me to play the tunes?” Jisung asks, popping his head through the gap once more. You weren’t sure where the boy got his energy from, part of you didn’t want to know. You were just thankful he decided not to drink coffee otherwise he would have been bouncing off the car walls.

“No!” Gwen cries as she starts the car. “You’ll play those stupid meme songs and you’ve been playing them nonstop already.” 

“You just have bad taste,” jisung snaps back, making Gwen gasp. 

“Taylor Swift is not bad taste and you know it,” Gwen laughs. “Mr let's be up at midnight so we can listen to midnights.” 

jisung stays quiet and Gwen scoffs to herself and mumbles something that you're unable to hear. Shaking your head, you turn to watch the world pass you by through the window. 

→→

“Can we stop to go to the bathroom?” Jisung complains from the back seat. 

“Why didn’t you go when we stopped literally half an hour ago?” you laugh as you ask him, looking over your shoulder. 

Jisung groans, sinking into his seat. “Because I didn’t need to go then!” 

“You’re a child!” Gwen cries.

“I’m older than you!” Jisung cries back. 

“By two days!” 

“Can we please stop, I need to go really bad!” Jisung begins to whine, stopping a foot. “Like I can’t even hold it, I could–” 

“Don’t you dare,” Gwen hisses, glaring at him through the review mirror. “The next stop is in ten minutes, so you better hold it otherwise if you piss in my car I’m leaving you there to rot.” 

“Okay, okay!” jisung responds. 

Watching from the sidelines, you giggle as you look back at a fidgeting jisung and then over at Gwen, you swore you could see the steam trying to escape her ears. 

It was a bit longer than ten minutes before Gwen pulls the car over and stops in one of the service stations and as soon as the car is stopped and off, Jisung unbuckles his belt and is off and out of the car in a flash. 

“At least we can get snacks?” you try and reassure her. 

Nodding along, Gwen takes her keys and opens her door and before she gets out, she turns to you. “And we’re not sharing them with him.” 

Laughing, you follow along behind her, making your way into the little shopping centre. 

Going into one of the general stores, Gwen wanders away as, you pick up a basket and begin to throw in a bunch of random snacks in there for both you and Gwen– and Jisung. Eventually finding you again, Gwen’s arms are now full of bottles of cold coffee and a few bottles of pop. 

“Don’t you want some water?” you ask as Gwen dumps all of the bottles into the basket. 

“I’ll have water when I’m dead,” she responds. 

Your eyebrows furrow together and you blink in confusion. “That’s not even the saying.” 

“Eh,” she shrugs. “Too bad.” 

Continuing to slowly make your way around the store and to waste time whilst you were waiting for Jisung to use the bathroom, you look over things you knew you wouldn’t buy. 

With Gwen following behind you this time, she clears her throat. “How are you feeling?” 

“Is this your way of seeing if I’m going to have an emotional breakdown anytime soon?” 

With a blank face, Gwen stares at you when you look away from the shelf and at her. 

“No, it’s just we’re like three hours away and just wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling too bad.” 

You shrug. You were trying not to think about it, because if you thought about it then the shaken can of your emotions would explode. You didn’t want that, Gwen and Jisung didn’t want that and Mina, Chan and everyone else didn’t want that either. 

“I’m fine,” you say with a sigh. 

“You haven’t seen him since he left,” Gwen states and you nod along. 

“I know Gwen,” you say laughing. “I was there.” 

“It’s just, I haven’t said it yet, but it’s okay to be nervous.”

You nod and hum for the nth time. “Thanks, Gwen, I mean it.” 

 Gwen doesn’t say much but picks up another item before putting it into the basket and you have to shift the weight by holding onto it with your arm. Gwen sees your struggle and takes the basket from you and you both walk over to the self-service. Scanning your items and paying for them. You split the bags between the both of you and start to make your way back to Gwen’s car. 

Exiting the large front doors of the service station, you stop when you see Jisung, sitting on the hood of Gwen’s car with a gigantic cup of a drink from the fast food place. 

“That brat,” Gwen hisses. “I swear to God if he complains he needs to piss again in twenty minutes, I’m kicking him out of the car.” 

You can’t help but laugh and you laugh even more when Jisung finally notices you both at the door and starts waving frantically at you both. 

“I can’t believe I like that fool,” Gwen tries to mumble to herself, but you catch it with a gasp. 

“I heard that!” You smile wide. “You finally said it! You like him!” 

Her eyes narrow as she snaps her head in your direction. “You. Heard. Nothing.” 

“Oh no,” You giggle, walking backwards in the direction of the car as you continue to look at her. “I definitely heard it.” 

“I swear to God y/n, I’ll leave you here too.” 

“Maybe that’s what I want, ever thought of that?” 

“You asshole,” Gwen hisses, following after you. 

“I won’t say anything,” you smile cheekily. “Yet.” You add before turning around and running over to the car. 

“What’s up, ladies?” Jisung asks, taking a long sip of his drink when you stop in front of the car. 

Gwen doesn’t look at either of you before opening her car door and throwing the bags inside. Looking up at Jisung once, her eyes narrow at him. 

“If you complain you need to piss again in half an hour, you’re dead.” 

“Got it.” He salutes.

Getting off of the hood of the car, he tries his best to look inside the carrier bags. “Got any snacks for me too?” 

“No/Yes,” Both you and Gwen say at the same time. 

“I thought we said we wouldn’t share!” Gwen gasps. 

“I felt bad!” You whine. 

“Thank you y/nnie,” Jisung says, patting you on the back. “At least one of you cares about me to get me snacks.” 

“Shut up Dofus,” Gwen rolls her eyes as she gets into the car and closes the door behind her. 

“She does care,” you hum at Jisung, making him laugh.

“I know,” he smiles. “It’s just fun pissing her off.” 

Rolling your eyes, you open the passenger side door. “You two are unbelievable.” 

→→

Resting your head in your palm, your eyes linger on the boy who was sitting at another table across from you in the dining hall. Your heart swirls when he makes eye contact and smiles before looking away.  

“Why haven’t you asked him out yet?” Jisung asks, moving to the seat in front of you, blocking the boy from view. 

Your eyebrows furrow, and tilting your head, you send a look of confusion in Jisung’s direction. “Who?” 

His face is blank like he just mentally face-palmed ten times over. He knew that you knew who he was on about, but he still gave in to your little charade. Resting his arms on the table, he leans forward and attempts to whisper, “Seungmin.” 

“Do you have to say it so loud?!” You hiss, pushing him away from you. 

He shrugs, picking up some of the leftover food that was on your tray. “Eh, I tried.” 

“You’re a pain in the ass,” you respond. 

“Who’s a pain in the ass?” Gwen asks, falling into the seat next to you with her tray of food. 

“Jisung–” 

“Say no more,” Gwen simply responds. 

When Jisung leans over to bug Gwen, you look back over to Seungmin and you smile at the way he looks over at you and slyly motions with his hand for you to leave the dining room. 

Looking back over to Jisung and Gwen, you clear your throat. “I forgot I had to do something before our next class, so I’ll just meet you there.” You said, getting up from out of your seat. 

Both of your best friends raise their eyebrows at you in suspicion. 

“Going where?” Gwen asks. 

“Just to the library, I’ll meet you at class,” and before they get another word out, you through your backpack over your shoulder and quickly make your way out of the dining hall and down the hallway. 

It wasn’t until you were a good distance away, that a hand-pulled you into an empty storage closet. 

Giggling, you lean up against the door and up at the culprit. 

“Hey,” 

“Hi, Min,” you smile, as his fingers entwine with your own. 

Seungmin stands above you, a smile playing on his lips. He squeezes your hand and takes the smallest step closer to you, “I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” you hum.  “My friends are starting to get suspicious about me randomly disappearing, I can't tell if they're picking up on what we're doing.”

Chuckling, he raises an eyebrow at your statement and leans in to place a kiss on your cheek. “Really?”

You nod, leaning into his touch.

Seungmin holds the kiss for a second before pulling back. “That’s…” he pursed his lips together. “That’s… wow.”

“Yeah.” You hesitated before you continued.

it had been six months, five hours and forty-three minutes since the first time Seungmin had kissed you. Not that you would ever let him know that you knew it down to the minute, but ever since, Seungmin would pull you into random storage closets or empty classrooms whenever he wanted attention. If you were all around your friends, he'd try his best to find signals to get you to sneak away with him without anyone knowing.

Sure, it was fun, but at the same time, it was hard trying to hide it from everyone you cared about most. Especially when those said friends knew of your feelings for the boy. You just couldn't get a grasp on how he felt in return. It confused you and made you wonder about how he truly felt about you.

"What would I say if they figured it out?" You asked. "How would I explain it? Us? Are we even…?"

You didn't finish your sentence and even in the dark closet, you catch Seungmin’s eyes widen in panic. He made eye contact with you for a second, but let his eyes fall to the floor just as quickly. “Um…”

Your heart drops to your stomach.

Seungmin notices a dejected glint in your eye as you push your lips together and sigh. “Listen, Y/N…”

You didn’t need to hear more; that was enough of an answer. But you were too frozen to do anything else.

"We're having fun," Seungmin tries to explain, however, it was going in one ear and out the other. "Why need to explain what's going on?" 

Blinking, you nod. You couldn't say anything, it was like your mind had gone into emergency shutdown mode and you couldn't bring yourself to say a word– you couldn't. And it was like you could feel little cracks in your heart forming and everything Seungmin continued to say was like an ice pick chipping away at the already-formed lines. 

"Why do they need to know our business?" This was the final blow to the ice pick he has to your heart. "Y/N..." 

"It's fine." Clearing your throat, you nod and finally gain the courage to look him in the eye. There was a look in his eyes that you couldn't begin to describe, "I get it Seungmin." 

Your eyes feel glassy and you blink so quickly to try and stop them from spilling over onto your cheeks. Your hand goes limp in his. He doesn't say anything, just watches you-- examines you and you finally look away. 

"I need to get to class," 

You step away from him. His hand tightens around yours, but you pull it away.

"Y/N." 

"I get it Seungmin, I need to go." 

You quickly leave the storage closet and thankfully the hallway is empty. Hiccupping, the tears finally fall from your eyes and you wipe them away just as quickly. 

The door opens again and his footsteps fill your ears. They stop for a moment and part of you wishes that he'd come over, apologise and tell you that he'd shout about you and each other from the rooftops. However, that doesn't happen and the footsteps start up again but then get quieter and quieter before they disappear completely and the sobs you've been desperately holding in escape your lips.

→→

The sun was starting to dip below the horizon and the sky was a mix of pinks and purples. At some point during the final hours of the journey, Jisung had fallen asleep in the back seat and Gwen had turned down whatever music she had on to not disturb him. You on the other hand still had your head lead up against the window, watching the world go by. 

Originally, Gwen had curated a perfect road trip playlist that captured in her words, ‘the vibes needed for one such road trip’. However, after about four and a half hours into the drive, Gwen throws her phone at you for you to change the music into something more lively. 

Gwen turns the music down more, so it’s almost inaudible. 

“Did Mina tell you?” She questions.

Looking over at the blonde, you respond. “Tell me what?”

“She-” Gwen clears her throat. “She wants to hold a reunion dinner tomorrow night for the seven of us.” 

You blink in shock a couple of times before sinking into your seat. “Nope. She did not.”

You gaze out the window again, attempting to distract yourself with the way the scenery changed from open fields to more dense town life.

Gwen glances at you and sighs. “Y/N…”

“Don’t.” You sigh. God, this is going to suck. 

“It’ll be okay.”

“Will it?” Your mind is swarming with all the possible ways the dinner could go wrong. All of them involved your sort-of-an-ex.

“Plus, you have a whole day to prepare!”

She said it so optimistically. Your brain had already gotten accustomed to the fact that you would see him in three days. Now that time has been shortened to about 24 hours. Not even three years of forgetting he exists could prepare you for that.

You wish you could’ve just wiped him out from your memory. Maybe if you never remembered what happened, things would be different. Maybe it would be like a fresh start.

The hotel was a fairly fancy one, with large pillars around the entrance. You almost expected it to have a doorman to open and close doors as guests come and go. 

The winter air quickly nips at your nose as soon as you get out of the car and all three of you rush to the trunk to get your things out so you can head inside. 

In the next second, you’re all inside the festive-looking reception. There’s a large green tree decorated in the corner with fake gifts positioned under it.

The reception desk itself is also decorated to the nines, with lights hung up underneath the counter side and fake snow lining the floor. It also has its own little tree with a bowl of candies next to it for guests to take as they pleased.  

As you enter you can hear faint jazz coming through the glass doors leading into what you assumed was a bar. The whole atmosphere was so relaxed that it put you at ease. So relaxed in fact, it let all thoughts slip from your mind as Gwen checks the both of you in. 

The whole time, Jisung is clinging onto Gwen like a tired baby. Gwen tried to brush him off at first but quickly gave up once she saw he wasn’t going to move. Even after she’s done with your room and Jisung has to check into his own, he’s not moved a budge. 

It's only when you guys have to take your stuff and walk to the elevators does he let her escape his grasp. 

Waiting for the elevator feels antagonistically long considering you’re tired and have been stuck in the car for six-plus hours. Never had you been so excited to get into a room, fall onto the bed and let sleep guide you into dreamland. You couldn’t think about anything else about how good being in bed and sleeping the night away would feel. 

Life seemed to have other plans for you though as the doors to the elevator opened and your body went into full alert. 

Life hated you, it was official. This is why you weren’t allowed nice things. 

The doors opened to show an equally as tired Seungmin with his older brother Minho. 

There goes having even a day to prepare, you thought to yourself. 

When his eyes seem to land and focus on you, it takes a second for him to react. However, Minho is faster at reacting than he is. 

“What’s up guys!” the older boy smiles. “Long time no see!” 

“You’re telling me,” Jisung laughs, pulling Minho into a hug. “I’ve missed your face.” 

Pulling away slightly, Minho smirks at Jisung, “and I’ve missed yours.” 

“You always know how to make someone blush!” Jisung chuckles, taken to the older boy's smooth words. 

Whilst this is all going on, Seungmin’s eyes are trained on you and you begin to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. You can’t tell which is worse, him speaking to you or him not saying anything at all. Part of you didn’t even want to stay to hear what he had to say– if he had anything to. 

You’d think after three years, maybe even a hi would be acceptable. 

You were being a hypocrite though, you knew you were. Wanting him to say hi to you when you didn’t even want him to face you in the first place. It didn’t make sense.

“Or maybe you just like the attention,” Gwen mutters, before grabbing onto your hand and pulling you into the elevator. “Sorry Minho, we need to go up to our room now, long trip, you know what it’s like.” 

Minho hums and smiles, “Sure go ahead! We’ll see you guys tomorrow at the dinner right?” 

You nod silently as Gwen hums in confirmation. 

“We’ll see you there,” she smiles quickly. 

Looking at Minho you smile too. “See you there.” 

“Hey! Wait for–” Jisung begins, but it gets cut off by the closing of the doors. 

When the elevator starts moving, Gwen groans. 

“Stupid Jisung, stupid Minho, stupid Seungmin.” she continues to repeat out loud. 

Looking at her with a confused look, you blink. “You okay?” 

She jumps, turning to you like she had forgotten you were even there for a moment. 

“Huh?” she asks. 

Repeating your question, she nods. 

“I’m fine, just, I didn’t expect us to run into them tonight I’m sorry, I didn’t even realise they would be staying here.” 

Shrugging your shoulders, you let your eyes gaze back over to the elevator doors. “It’s fine, not like you would have known, plus maybe it was better this way– seeing him this way I mean.” 

“What do you mean?” Gwen questions.

“Now I can’t stress over the first time seeing him can I? Cause it’s already happened.” 

“I guess,” Gwen responds, giving herself a moment to think about it. 

“Plus I’m too tired right now, I don’t want to think anymore.” you let out a yawn and cover your mouth. Leaning into Gwen’s side, like Jisung had done not fifteen minutes earlier, you speak. “Let’s just go to our room and forget boys exist and just sleep the night away.” 

Gwen laughs and you can feel her nodding her head. “That I would drink to.” 

Soon enough, you were both in your room. With two large double beds, it was all that you needed for the extended weekend away. Claiming your bed,-the one closest to the window– you let your bags fall at the end of it before dramatically flinging yourself onto it. 

Here’s to sleep, you thought. And forgetting boys exist. 

→→

You immediately hated your dress the minute you put it on. The baby pink fabric hugged your body in the worst ways possible, and the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, the more exposed you felt. You tug at the end of it to try and pull it down more, failing to find some relief. It felt suffocating and you weren’t even sure why you packed it in the first place. 

“Can you stop worrying for one second,” Gwen says as she leans forward to apply her lipstick in the mirror. “You look hot. Let Seungmin know what he’s missing.” 

“Gwen!” you gasp. 

Snorting a laugh, she puts the lid back on her lipstick and turns to you. “What? It’s been– three years? I don’t think it’s bad to make him regret everything he did to you in senior year.” 

“It would be better if I didn’t see him at all,” you mumble whilst fidgeting with your dress again. 

“Babe, remember what I said?” Gwen asks, causing you to take a deep breath before releasing it. 

“Don’t let him get in the way this time. It’s about the wedding, Mina and Chan, not him.” 

Gwen happily hums and takes a few steps over towards you before she lightly places a hand on one cheek and kisses the other. “You got it!” 

Blinking at her, your mouth drops and you shake your head. “Ever since you confessed to liking Jisung, you’ve been weird.” 

Her sweet smile drops and slaps you on your arm. 

“I didn’t confess! I told you, you heard nothing!” 

You giggle and wipe away whatever lipstick remains on your cheek in the mirror as Gwen slips on her shoes. 

Soon after, there was a continuous knock at the door and Jisung’s loud voice echoed through it. “Come on, let’s go ladies!” 

Raising an eyebrow at Gwen, she shoots you a glare. 

“You heard nothing,” she whispers. “I don’t like that idiot.” 

“Denial,” you whisper-sing back. 

“Hurry up! They’re waiting for us!” Jisung’s voice continues to carry through the door. “Hello? Are–” 

Opening the door, Gwen speaks. “Shut up idiot, try not to disturb the whole hotel, yeah?” 

Jisung takes a moment to look Gwen up and down and clears his throat before straightening his back up. “You look good.” 

“Thanks,” Gwen nods. “You too.” 

Jisung pulls at the collar of his white dress shirt and it’s easy to notice his cheeks tint pink. “Thank you.” 

Rolling your eyes, you pick up your back and put it over your shoulder. Pushing on Gwen slightly to get her out of the door, you close it behind you. “Come on, let's go, lovebirds.” 

“Y/N!” 

When you got to the restaurant that Mina and Chan had planned for the reunion dinner, everyone apart from you, Gwen and Jisung had already arrived and sat down. You counted your lucky stars that Seungmin was already sitting in between his older brother, Minho, and Chan. 

As soon as Mina lays her eyes on the three of you, she shoots up from out of her seat and over to you. 

“Look at you guys!” She laughs, pulling each of you into your own hug. “I’ve missed you so much!” 

“We’ve missed you too!” You and Gwen say in unison. 

“What they said,” Jisung laughs and ducks away when Mina tries to hit him playfully. “I’ve missed you too Mina.” 

Going behind the three of you, she lightly pushes you in the direction of the table. “Come, come sit.” 

Mina takes her seat once again beside Chan and you take the one next to her, leaving Gwen and Jisung to sit next to each other and Minho. 

Pleasantries were passed around and you kept your eyes far away from Seungmin as possible. However, that was difficult when you could feel his eyes boring into you. It was only when Jisung engaged in a conversation with him that the sensation went away and you finally gave yourself the chance to look at him properly. 

You could see how much he had changed in the past three years since you last saw him. The baby fat has now gone from his cheeks and his hair was a lighter shade of brown than anything he had in high school. But his eyes still glinted when he smiled and you looked away as soon as he moved his head towards you. 

You couldn’t explain the way how in three years everything about him stayed the same, but changed completely at the same time. 

Tucking some hair behind your ear, you try to get your attention back on what Mina was talking about. 

“You good?” Mina asks, making you nod frantically. 

“I’m good, gooder than good.” you smile. 

Mina looks at you blankly. 

“You’re a terrible liar,” she smiles. “but, I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too,” you return her smile. 

“And,” Mina leans in slightly and rests her chin on one hand. “We’re going to the hotel bar after this so you won’t have to think for a while.” 

Rolling your eyes, you continue to laugh. “Mina!” 

“What?” She asks through her own laugh. “And who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone at the wedding, there are plenty of attractive people attending.” She finishes her sentence with a wink. 

Suddenly, Chan leans in next to Mina as well with his own cheeky smile and a raised eyebrow. “Who’s this about attractive people attending the wedding?” 

Mina rolls her eyes and pats his cheek after she’s turned to look at him. 

“For Y/N silly,” 

“Ahh, of course!” Chan laughs. “I can even introduce you to some of my friends.” 

Feeling your cheeks begin to heat up, you raise a hand and shake your head. “No no no, it’s okay, you don’t need to!” 

“Well, I can still introduce you!” Chan smiles. “More friends are more friends.” 

Mina jokingly shrugs. “And that’s the only thing we don’t agree on, having a bunch of friends.” 

“And I love you for being your people-hating self.” Chan muses. 

“People are just ugh,” Mina begins to rant. “I like being able to count the people I love on two hands, thank you very much.” 

Whilst Mina is continuing her speech on her hate of people, Chan is just sitting there, his eyes in the shape of hearts as he watches her. It made your heart swell with love and admiration. Mina and Chan were everything good in a relationship, they were so hopelessly in love that it honestly made you kind of jealous. 

It was a love you wanted– you wished for.  

Your eyes went around the table again and once again your gaze lingers on Seungmin. Even after three years, you can’t help but look his way.

 There was the smoothest Jazz playing in the hotel bar. The boys, albeit mostly Jisung and Minho, were ordering drink after drink, shot after shot for everyone to enjoy. You were starting to feel the effects of the shots and you let out a happy sigh as you looked around at everyone. 

Your eyes linger on Seungmin’s back as he leans up against the bar and talks to the rest of the boys. Gwen and Mina’s laughter fills your ears from next to you. 

“I’m going to step outside for a bit,” you quickly say to the girls and they nod in response just as quickly whilst muttering a ‘be safe’. 

Getting up from your seat, you sway and stumble your way into the hotel lobby and out into the main entrance. 

The cold hits you instantly and a shiver moves up your spine. You wished you brought a jacket out with you, however, there was also something comforting about it. Resting the back of your head against the cold brick, you take a deep breath and exhale it slowly. 

It was like a moment of peace in the middle of a stressful day. 

“Y/N…” 

And then that moment was gone. 

Opening your eyes, you kept your eyes straight ahead. 

“Seungmin.” 

“You look good,” he starts and he takes a step into your line of sight. “And, I’ve missed you.” 

“Well I wonder who’s to blame for that,” you finally look him in the eye. 

He takes a step forward and frowns, “Y/N, please.” 

“What do you want, Seungmin?”

“To see you.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

He steps forward again, “I wish we could go back, back to then.” 

He brings up a hand and gently moves some of your hair from out of your face as he gazes into your eyes. 

Without fail, he once again had a grip on your heart. You could curse him mentally over and over again, but still, nothing would change.

“You were the one that left,” you whisper. 

“And it was so dumb of me,” he responds and repeats. "I've missed you so much." 

His hand stays resting on your cheek and you’re not long how long you’re both standing there. Staring at each other, gazing into each other’s eyes. 

His eyes flicker to your lips and back up to your eyes. “Why can’t we just go back? For tonight?” 

“We shouldn’t,” you whisper. 

“Why not?” 

Frowning, you look down at his lips as well and back up. “Because it’s not that easy, you left Seungmin. Remember? You didn’t want to date officially.” 

“And I was a fool and I regretted it every day after I left.” 

“Even if you did, you could have come back.” 

“You know that wouldn’t have been that easy either.” 

“You didn’t try,” you said, tilting your head up. His thumb gently glides along your cheek. 

“I’m here now,” his nose brushes against yours. 

All your senses were yelling– screaming at you to stop, back away. Your heart was pounding, but your mind was completely numb. Every single movement, every touch he made sent you into overdrive. 

You couldn’t tell what you’d regret more, giving in or not giving in at all. 

“For tonight?” You ask. 

He nods slowly, leaning in. “For the weekend?” 

“Don’t push your luck,” you add, closing your eyes. 

Chuckling, you feel his breath against your lips. 

“For tonight.” he reaffirms before connecting your lips together. 

The hand he has on your cheek slowly moves down to your neck as the other rests on your hip to try and bring you even closer together. Your own hands go up and you wrap your arms around his neck, your fingers playing with his hair.

You tried to catch your breath when your lips separate and when you open your eyes, he’s already looking at you. It’s not even a second later that you’re using your arms to bring him closer to once again reconnect your lips. 

Using his thumb to angle your chin, he deepens the kiss. The longer it went on, the more and more your soul was set alight. Every sensation was heightened.

You gasp when his lips leave yours and move frantically to your chin and then down your neck. 

“I’m sharing a room with Gwen,” you question in gasps as he settles on one part on the bottom of your neck. “We can’t go there.”

Without saying a word, he uses one hand to fish out his hotel room key and holds it up between two fingers for you to see. 

“Are you the only one in there?” you continue to question. He reluctantly draws his attention away from your neck and goes back up to your chin before kissing your lips once more.

“Yes,” kiss. “I,” kiss. “Am,” another kiss.

“So,” he kisses you again before you can continue and you have to push him away so you can even think. “Just for tonight.” 

Smiling, he takes your hand before pulling you quickly to make your way to his room. Your giggles fill his ears and your mind repeats: Just for tonight.

→→

You groan quietly, rubbing your eyes with your palms as you sit up slightly, resting your weight on your elbows. Your head hurt and your throat was unbelievably dry– you reminded yourself to never drink again, but you knew you would. 

Blinking, your sight soon began clear as you and the memories of the night returned like looking into a kaleidoscope. Sitting up quickly, you curse to yourself when Seungmin groans from next to you and rolls over, thankfully, however, he stays asleep. 

Quietly getting up, you slip on your underwear, fail to find your bra and attempt to put your dress from the night before back on. Once you’ve picked up your shoes and your bag, you turn back to see Seungmin. He’s lying on his front and spread out across his bed. 

He looks so peaceful and part of you wants to take back everything you said and jump right back into the bed and into his arms. To stay in this little bubble, where nothing ever went wrong and to pretend like you were still teenagers foolish and in love. 

It’s foolish and risky, but you take a few steps over towards his bed, lean over and lightly place a kiss on his forehead, your lips linger for a moment before you pull away and whisper. “Thank you for the night.” 

As soon as you’re out of his room, it’s like you can breathe again. 

You take your time walking back to your own room. Instead of taking the lift, you take the stairs just to give yourself more time to think. Your feet carry you up the cold metal stairs to the soft carpet of the hallways. Soon enough, you came to your own room and you find your key in the depth of your bag and unlock the door before swinging it open, taking a step inside and letting it close behind you. 

“About time you showed up,” Gwen’s voice makes you jump out of your skin. 

You let your shoes and your bag slip from your fingers and you say nothing as you walk over to your bed and fall face-first into it. 

The whole time, Gwen is watching you with a frown. “What happened?” 

It was a minute later that you pushed yourself to roll over and look up at the ceiling. “I slept with Seungmin.” 

“I assumed that considering you and him randomly disappeared halfway through the night., I just mean how? Why? I thought you didn’t want to see him at all.” 

“I didn’t think you’d be one for the intimate details,” you giggle as she fakes a gag. 

“Oh god no,” she shakes her head. “I don’t want to know anything about Kim Seungmin’s sex game, I want to know how you go from never wanting to lay your eyes on him to getting under him.” 

Your giggles fill the room, but they’re soon stopped by Gwen chucking a pillow at you, hitting you with a thump. “OW! What the heck Gwen?!” 

“You were having dirty thoughts and I don’t want to know!” 

Sitting up, you throw the pillow back to her. “You don’t know that.” 

“Yes, I do.” Gwen catches the pillow. “You had the giggle and you know for a fact that it wasn’t an innocent one.” 

You giggle again, “Cause I didn’t just go under him.” 

Thwack. 

“I SAID I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW!” 

Rubbing to soothe where the pillow hit you, you quickly apologise whilst still giggling. 

“I’m having trouble getting a reading on you,” Gwen states. “You came in super sad and out of it, but now you’re giggling like a madman.” 

Groaning, you fall back onto the bed and look over at your blonde best friend. 

“I just–” you pause. “Well–” another pause. 

“Well?” 

“Just for tonight,” you repeat your words from last night. 

Gwen blinks, opens her mouth and closes it again. “Excuse me?” 

“Just for tonight, it’s what we said last night.” You move your gaze to the ceiling. “Just for tonight.” 

“And what does that mean?” 

“Just like it suggests, we had one night, like nothing ever happened– as if nothing changed for a single night.” 

You hear Gwen move the blankets that covered her and soon the bed dips next to you. “Babe…” 

“I know,” you fake a laugh. “I’m so stupid.” 

Gwen slowly moves the hair out of your face. When you look at her, you can see her frown. “You’re not stupid.” 

“It’s just, I knew, I knew I shouldn’t have given in, I knew I shouldn’t have let him kiss me or let it go further than it did, but I just…” Your sentence comes to a stop as you try and think of how to continue it. 

This was your mind every time you thought of Seungmin. Stuck in the middle of a forest, with no map, no compass and no way out. Lost and confused, yet every time he looked at you, spoke to you, uttered the words you so desperately wanted to hear, gave you baseless hope that he always seemed to give you. The hope that everything would work out, that he’d confess his love and scream it to the world.

But it didn’t happen then and you knew it wouldn’t happen now. 

“You’re not dumb or stupid,” Gwen sighs, putting her hands on either side of your face and forcing you to look at her. “Your feelings aren’t stupid, sure it’s frustrating but you shouldn’t beat yourself up for giving into those feelings.” 

“Why can’t I just move on?” you question. 

“Because feelings are fickle things and it’s just not as easy as we want them to be.” Gwen frowns. “Look, everything that’s happened with you and Seungmin, they’re– they were painful for you, and sure, it’s scared you and affected you.” 

“He just has this control over me and it’s like I can’t say no to him.” 

Smiling a sad smile, Gwen laughs slightly. “It’s love, babe.” 

“I hate it,” you laugh, but it lacks the happiness laughter normally has. 

“No you don’t,” Gwen responds. “And you don’t hate him either, no matter how much you want to.” 

Sitting up, Gwen’s hands fall from your face and you lean into her and she instantly wraps her arms around you in a protective hug. Letting out a sigh, you affirm her words. “I really don’t and I don’t think I ever could.” 

Actually giggling, you feel Gwen place a kiss on your hairline. “Oh my foolish best friend, what am I going to do with you?”

→→

Seungmin’s couch was one of the most comfortable couches you had ever had the chance to sit on. It was a dark wine red fabric corner sofa, just warn in enough that it was comfortable. 

Even though no one in their friend group knew of Seungmin and your’s ‘situationship’, the friend groups still found their way to merging– this mostly being because Jisung was a social butterfly that couldn’t keep his mouth shut, but nonetheless. Now the group was bigger, it gave you all more of an excuse to meet up and see each other. 

Which would be great if you weren’t currently upset and annoyed at Seungmin. What made it worse was that you couldn’t even tell Gwen, your best friend. Sure, you could have properly told her anyway, but you didn’t want to go behind Seungmin’s back like that, especially when he had already made it well-known how he felt about the whole situation. 

the time in the storage closet flashing in your mind constantly like a constant pain still reminding you that it's still there. 

Every time you picture his blank stare and inability to say the words you wanted to hear made your heart crack even more. However, you didn't want to let him go, sure if Gwen knew she'd probably scream about you and your worth, but that didn't matter. 

Not when your crush of the past year was actually giving you the attention you desired-- even if it was in secret. You could only do so much to show him how upset you really were. By sitting on his couch during these group hangouts, giving him little to no attention. 

Was it petty? Maybe so. But it's not like you could yell and scream at him how you felt in front of everyone, not that you'd be able to do that anyway. Not when he'd give you one look and you'd break.

You were sat wedged between Gwen and Jeongin, one of Seungmin’s friends, as you barely focused on some overplayed tv show on the tv. Gwen, dramatically lead on your shoulder with a bowl of popcorn in front of her would sometimes grab a handle full before bringing it up to your mouth so you can take some. Jeongin, laying on your other shoulder, whined randomly and complained every time the show would say a bad joke. 

The whole time, Seungmin is sitting alone on the loveseat, arms crossed and a scowl present on his face. This was maybe the third group hangout in a row where you had given the boy little to no attention, yet gave his friends (as well as yours) a never-ending abundance of it. 

Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t jealous. Not at all, not when he’s been the one to see the way your cheeks turn pink when he flirts with you. Or how smiley you get after he kisses you. But no, he wasn’t jealous that his friends were getting more attention than he was, that you were looking at them more than at him.

Kim Seungmin doesn’t get jealous. 

One would be foolish to think otherwise. 

It’s not until Mina disturbs his quiet jea– brooding time that his scowl turns into an annoyed eye roll. 

“Can you help me with something in the kitchen please.” Mina states, rather than asks with a fake smile plastered on her lips. Before Seungmin can even get a word out to complain, she holds her palm up. “Don’t even try, help, now.” 

It was times like this that made Seungmin wonder why people loved having siblings. Especially when his older brother and sister always took the chance to remind him that they were older. 

Groaning, he gets up and follows Mina to their somewhat large family kitchen. 

“What do you need help with?” Seungmin asks. 

Mina doesn’t respond as she turns to him with her arms crossed. “Why are you pouting in the corner like a kicked puppy?” 

The younger boy blinks and blinks again, “Huh?! No, I’m not!” He argues. “Did you want help or not?” 

“Of course not!” Mina hissed. “Would you rather me ask in front of your dear friends?” 

The colour drains from his face as he quickly shakes his head. 

“Look, I know you may think of me as an annoying pain in the ass older sister, but I still notice things alright?” Mina says. “And I can notice when my foolish younger brother has a new love interest, no matter how hard he tries to keep it and her from everyone around them.” 

“I don’t know–” Seungmin stops midsentence when Mina glares at him. 

“Don’t try and pull that shit with me Seung, I know you better than you think I do.” 

Rolling his eyes, he shifts his weight onto one foot. 

He hates the feeling of Mina’s eyes boring into him like she was able to peel back every layer of him. 

Again, he didn’t see the fuss of having older siblings.

“We’re–” Seungmin pauses with a groan. He hated this and he especially hated how it was Mina grilling him out. “We’re nothing.” 

“Now, how dumb do you think I am?” Mina asks, but just like before she speaks again before he gets the chance. “No, seriously, how dumb do you think I am to think I would just take that?” 

“It’s complicated,” Seungmin responds.

“Complicated because it is complicated or complicated because you’re making it complicated?” 

When he doesn’t respond, Mina shakes her head and tsks. 

“Do you want to date her?” Mina asks.

Seungmin halts for a moment before he shakes his head.

Mina sighs, “Let me guess, you wouldn’t want her to date someone else?” 

Seungmin scowls once again, this time at the subject of her question. Had he thought about it much? The idea of you dating someone else? Of either of you dating someone else? 

Not really, but would he admit that? Of course not.

“She– She can do whatever she wants.” Seungmin almost hisses. “I don’t care, like I said, we’re not dating.” 

“How do you think she feels about this whole situationship? Are you guys on the same page?” Mina asks. 

“The pages might be a bit smudged.,” Seungmin attempts to whisper, but all this manages to do is make Mina laugh at her poor younger brother.

“And that’s why you’re pouting in the corner like a kicked puppy,” She comments. “You’re trying to play this cool tsundere type that doesn’t care when all she wants is to be able to be open about how she feels for the person she likes.” Mina scoffs. “But let me tell you this little bro, it’s not cool and you’re going to lose her with this attitude. Not when she finally realises she can find someone who won’t be scared to show her off like she deserves.” 

“Whatever,” Seungmin hisses, unable to find the words to actually say anything in defence. 

“What happens when you move away for college at the end of the year? Are you just going to keep her quietly hoping for something open? Or are you going to let her go?” 

Seungmin’s silent once again and at this point, he’s letting Mina’s words go in one ear and out the other. He’s had enough of her ‘older sister, I apparently know better’ lectures. And anyway, college wasn’t for another month or two at least, the way he thought about it was you didn’t even need to know. You’d break off whatever thing you had and you’d move on with how qualms. No issues. 

“You haven’t even told her have you?” Mina asks at her brother’s silence. 

He shakes his head, “I didn’t think there was a reason to.” 

“Just so you know, the only reason I’m not beating you up right now is because you’re my brother.” Mina hisses. 

Gasping, Seungmin glares at the slightly shorter girl. “Well thanks, sis, I love you too.” 

“Don’t try and pull an attitude with me Seung, it’s not going to work because you know you’re being an ass right now.” Crossing her arms over her chest, Mina continues. “Whether or not you agree on what you want, you need to tell her about you leaving town for college. It’s the only decent thing to do, you can’t just up and leave her in the dark.” 

Seungmin just hums. 

“Seungmin,” Mina threatens.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Whatever, I’ll think about it.” 

It was only after a minute or two that Seungmin spoke once again. "Are you done lecturing me now?" 

"I don't know," Mina responds. "You done being an idiot?" 

Rolling his eyes, Seungmin makes his way back into the living room to see the three of you still sitting in the same position on the sofa. Gwen and Jeongin on either side of you, their heads on your shoulders. 

Falling back into the loveseat, the scowl returns. Mina's words echoing in his head. 

It's not like he had to tell you, it would be fine.

→→

The rehearsal dinner is in a large dining room area just off the side of the actual wedding venue. The staff had already begun setting up the room for the next day and so the were already splashes of the wedding colours as ribbons on the back of the chairs. The large dining table that was placed in the centre of the room was covered in what seemed to be a lace-like tablecloth. 

The table itself was beautiful, with two large candles placed just off the centre and little name placeholders written in the same font that had been on the original wedding invitations. Of course, Mina and Chan sat in the centre, with two large thrones that reflected silver. There were two people sat either side of these thrones with the rest of the seats being on the opposite side of the table. 

Taking your seat, on one side you had Jisung, which you were thankful for. On the other, you had one of Chan's friends from his home back in Australia, who introduced himself as Felix. He seemed lovely, which made sense considering he was good friends with Chan. Across from you, were Chan's brother and sister whereas Seungmin and Minho were sat on Mina's left-hand side. Once settled, you released a breath you didn't know you were holding when Chan's siblings did in fact sit in the seats across from you.

You sent Felix a smile after you had both sat down and said hello to each other. 

"So," Felix smiles. "You must be friends with Mina right?" 

You nod. The way Felix was smiling made you copy it in return, it was hard to not smile when you saw it. "Yeah, I am." 

He makes a face of realisation then he nods slowly. "Of course, I feel like I would have remembered someone as beautiful as you if Chan had introduced us before." 

Gasping slightly at his bold comment. You giggle, tucking some hair behind your ear. "Thank you," 

Hearing his laughter made you want to hear it more. It was magical. It made you wonder where Chan had found the boy. He seemed too good to be true. 

As you and Felix chat, you begin to feel someone glaring daggers at you. Trying to ignore it, you remain focused on what Felix is saying. 

He looks over your shoulder for a moment before gazing back into your eyes. "Just so you know, that guy over there is staring at you pretty viciously," Felix explains. 

You sigh and look over your shoulder quickly to confirm it was indeed who you thought it was. 

Seungmin. 

He's sat there, leant back in his seat at a slight angle as he's staring at the back of your head. You could tell every part of him was tense, angry. Looking back at Felix, you smile awkwardly. 

"That's," you pause. "That's complicated." 

Felix laughs, again his smile makes you smile too. "Don't worry, I get it, Ex?" He asks. 

You inhale sharply. "Eh, something like that."

“Ah, yes,” Felix nods. “One of those things.”

Your eyes fall to your lap as you nod in agreement. It had always been difficult to label whatever you and Seungmin had, not that he helped with that all that much. Maybe that thing was enough of a descriptor. But deep down, you always wished it was more than that. 

However, all of your attention gets drawn away when the sounds of Chan tapping a fork on his champagne glass. No more thinking about that thing, Y/N. At least for now. This dinner was about Chan and Mina’s thing. A thing that was definitely so much more than whatever thing you and Seungmin have– had. Something real, something you wished for on every shooting star.

"Hi everyone," he smiles awkwardly, clearing his throat. "Thank you all for being here at our rehearsal dinner before the big day tomorrow." He looks around at Mina, who's staring up at him lovingly and takes her hand in his before he looks around at everyone again. "We're really happy you could join us in making this an event to remember for the rest of our lives." He turns to Mina again, his ears already turning pink. "And Mina, I promise I'm not going to tell you my speech early, but I am so thankful and blessed to be able to love you and be loved by you. You really make me the happiest man on earth." 

Mina pouts, standing up. She uses her free hand to playfully hit Chan on the arm. "Why are you trying to make me cry in front of everybody?!" She laughs and so does everyone else. "I love you too, so much." 

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Jisung cries, breaking the sweet moment with a raised champagne glass of his own. He quickly lowers it when both you and Gwen hit either arm. "Sorry!" 

"Don't mind if I do," Mina laughs before quickly stealing a kiss from her soon-to-be husband. Chan's blush has officially moved from his ears to his cheeks at this point. His face is bright red, but no one says a word.

"Seungmin next!" Jisung laughs, staring directly into Seungmin's eyes. 

Gasping next to him, Gwen hits his arm as she hisses his name. "Jisung!" You, however, lean back slightly to look behind Jisung at Gwen. With your own glare on your face, you mouth, What did you tell him? and in return, she smiles sheepishly. 

Everyone at the table is silent, their eyes either on Seungmin or flickering between the two boys. Seungmin raises an eyebrow, leans forward to rest his weight on one elbow and smirks. "I will if you kiss her." 

Seungmin doesn't say a name, but everyone—let's be real, everyone but Gwen—knows who he's on about. Speechless, Jisung’s mouth drops and he quickly looks down at the empty placement plate. "I didn't say anything." 

Seungmin leans back in his chair before making eye contact with you. It's like all your brain cells leave you in that moment and you have to look away to try and regain a conscious thought. 

Still standing, Mina sends a glare to both Seungmin and Jisung, which they shrink at before her lips quickly form into a smile. 

“They’ll be bringing out the starter and then the first course very soon, so please talk whilst we wait.” She ends with a smile and sits, but not before quickly slapping Seungmin’s arm making him pout at his older sister. 

You weren't able to hear what she whispered to him next, but by the look on his face, he didn't look too pleased. He turns from her, crosses his arms over his chest and looks anywhere but her direction. Catching her eye, she smiles, and you smile back.

Excusing yourself from your seat, you quickly move and crouch down in between Gwen and Jisung’s. Trying to muster up the most venomous yet loving glare you could, you smile at her. “Can I just talk to you for a minute?” 

Gwen laughs awkwardly. Jisung, however, keeps his head down as he plays with his fingers like Seungmin's words are still ringing around in his head. 

She pulls her seat out and you stand as she does. “Sure.” 

Grabbing onto her wrist, you guide her out of the room, just far enough where you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone hearing you both. Stopping, her wrist falls from your grasp and you turn to her. “What did you tell him?!” 

“Nothing!” Gwen throws her arms up and crosses them in front of her a second later. “…I mean, not nothing, but not everything!”

“You know how big of a mouth that boy has!” You hiss, “We can’t tell him shit unless we want him to spill it.” 

“I know!” Gwen huffs. “I just said you guys slept together, that’s it, nothing more.” 

"Gwen!" 

"I'm sorry," Gwen repeats. "I don't know what happened, he looked at me and I just had to tell him." 

"I stand by what I said before," you laugh. "You guys are unbelievable." 

Gwen blinks and opens her mouth to speak before closing it again. Once she finds the words, she says, "When did you say that?" 

You catch onto the servers starting to pass you with food on trays. "It doesn't matter," you mumble. "We should go back in before Mina starts wondering where we are." Gwen hums and nods her head, but before you can start to walk away, she grabs your wrist and pulls you into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't think he'd say that in front of everyone." you hear her mumble as you wrap your arms around her. Giggling, you hug her as tightly as you can for a second making her complain. 

"It's fine," you smile. "Just next time give me a heads up you've told your boyfriend about my non-existent love life yeah?" 

"He's not my–" she starts, but soon gives up. "Yeah sure, I'm sorry," she repeats. 

Pulling away, you raise an eyebrow at her. "You didn't deny it?" 

"Everyone says it anyway," Gwen shrugs. "He's confusing, I don't know and don't try and distract me. I wouldn't say your love life was very non-existent at the moment." 

"Let's just agree to say we both have complicated situations right now?" you suggest causing the blonde to crack a laugh. 

"Sure," 

Walking back into the dining hall, you see how the servers have in fact started bringing out and placing the starters for people to pick at on a separate table. Not looking where you’re going, you startle yourself by almost walking into one of the servers.

“Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, looking down and stepping aside, until you caught a whiff of one of the dishes. A server walked by with a fruit platter containing all colours of the rainbow, and the one behind them held a plate full of garlic shrimp skewers just waiting for you to grab. The smoky yet buttery aroma of steak passed you by next, pulling you back to the dinner table with Gwen in tow, who chuckled at your little trance.

Your mouth-watering, you stand on your toes as the other attendees scramble for first dibs on the incoming foods. It seemed like the steak and the garlic bread were the most popular choices, so you decide to come back for it later—there would more than likely be another plate coming anyway. Instead, something else that no one else seemed to touch makes your eyes almost pop out of their sockets in excitement.

Cheese.

There was nothing you loved more in this world than cheese and on top of that, you don't think anything or anyone could come close to it. Cheese was your best friend, sorry, Gwen, cheese was always there went something went wrong, again, sorry, Gwen, cheese was everything right in the world. Whether it was cold, straight out of the fridge, or heated up so it was warm and stringy, it was perfect. If someone told you to do something and in return they offered cheese? You’d do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked, that's just how much you loved the stuff. 

Evilly chuckling under your breath, you grab your plate and make a beeline for the tiers of different cheeses to try. You take one of every option there and make a small pile of them on your plate. Brie, cheddar, parmesan, pepper jack, gouda, and—

“Ooh, camembert!”

You jump, dropping the cheese in your hand. Who dares to take your precious cheese? Just thirty seconds ago, you were the only person at the cheese board. What could have changed within that short time frame?

A hand reaches out to grab a slice of camembert and you follow it to meet eyes with the last person you wanted there. Seungmin stands across the table, an addicting, yet very punchable, smirk on his face as he places the slice of the precious camembert onto his plate.

You wanted to smack the smirk off his stupid face. Maybe smash your lips against his before you did so.

But all you could do was blink.

“Camembert,” Seungmin states matter-of-factly, holding up a slice in his hand. You aren’t sure if you should look at the cheese or at him. “Your favourite, right?”

You look down at your plate, biting your lip to keep yourself from smiling.

Seungmin bends down, smirking when he sees your flustered state. “Hey,” he chuckles, sending your stomach into knots before you could even get food in it. “Earth to Y/N…”

You blink and blink again before making eye contact with him, and he still has that brazen smile on his face. You aren’t sure how you still aren’t used to him looking at you like that. Like you’re the only two people in the room and how it could all change so instantly and you’d still be the one left in this haze of rose. 

“Here,” he says, taking a piece from his plate and putting it on yours. You look between the slice of camembert and him, and he smiles at you over his shoulder as he struts over to his seat.

You’re left there standing in shock, blinking as you try to wrap your head around what happened.

“Did I really just see that?” Gwen asks as she steps next to you. 

Then your rose glasses start to crack and streams of real light come through. 

“Uh..” you clear your throat. “Yeah, that happened.” 

“So have you, uh, spoken to him since?” Gwen begins to ask and you quickly shake your head. 

“Nope.”

“Ah,” Gwen responds as she starts to pick up her own pieces of cheese. 

Looking over your shoulder, your eyes scan the surrounding area and your eyes widen as you find Seungmin already looking in your direction– the same brazen smile still plastered on his face. 

You turn away when you see him laugh to himself and look down at his plate. “I’m– I’m going to sit back down.” 

Gwen hums in acknowledgement and you quickly rush back to your seat next to Felix and Jisung. Placing your plate down, you slip into your seat. 

“Lover of cheese huh?” Felix laughs, looking down at your plate. Picking up a piece and placing it in your mouth with a happy hum, you nod your head. 

“Call it a passion of mine,” you say, covering your mouth. 

“Gosh,” Jisung groans from next to you. “Don’t get her started, she’ll talk about it all day.” 

Throwing your head back laughing at his comment, you can’t even begin to deny it. “I’m passionate,” you respond with a smile. 

Looking at you with a blank face, Jisung blinks. “You’re obsessed.” 

“Devoted,” you fight, sounding out the syllables.

“Obsessed,” Jisung repeats, copying your actions. 

You make a face at him before plopping another piece of cheese in your mouth and chewing away happily.

Your eyes scan the surrounding area and you feel yourself straightening up when your eyes land on Seungmin. He’s already looking at you, and you can’t tell if he looks annoyed or maybe even jealous about sitting so far away from you.

You simply turn back to Felix, propping your chin on your palm. “Now, where were we?”

“Here we go,” Jisung mutters.

You nudge him with your elbow before continuing. “Anyways… Yes, I do love cheese. But not as much as—”

“Y/N,” Jisung whines.

“Jisung!” You plaster on a cheesy grin, blinking one too many times as you turn your head to him. “Why don’t you tell them about your so-called ‘passion’,” you say, making air-quotes around “passion”, “for coffee?”

Jisung just glares at you. He keeps a straight face, but you can see the tips of his ears turning red. “You know that’s different, Y/N.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Okay, and how many cups of americano have you had this week?

“Wh– I–” he sputters. “Like, six?”

You say nothing, and just maintain your gaze on him.

“…teen.”

You smile smugly. “Mhm. And somehow I’m the obsessed one.”

Something white falls in the corner of your eye. Looking back at your plate, you don’t notice anything different, except for a piece of camembert that must have rolled off your plate. You shrug and pop it into your mouth; you did have a comically large pile of it to work through, so it was more than plausible.

You look back up, and Jisung is staring above your head with furrowed eyebrows. You follow his gaze and see… a ceiling. You wonder how many of those sixteen cups of americano were from today alone.

Felix, who also seems to have spaced out for a second, looks back at Jisung. “It’s okay, man,” he chuckles, “I had, like, three cups of coffee this morning.”

“A man of culture,” Jisung nods happily, motioning to the blonde boy with a smile. 

Felix laughs, nodding his own head. “Of course, man, I need the caffeine to survive, especially with my classes.” 

“Teacher or student?” You ask. 

Somehow, and you’re not sure how, but Felix’s smile seems to grow wider. 

“Both actually,” he hums. “Well if you class it as both I guess.” 

Raising an eyebrow for him to continue, he does. 

“I’m a student teacher, currently on placement in a nursery school, but I took a week off to be here,” 

“That’s so sweet!” You smile, “Working with kids fun?” 

Felix nods again, “Kids are just amazing,” He laughs. “Every day is different and they’re so out there, you know? It’s really a fulfilling position.” 

“Sounds like you want a bunch of your own then?” You giggle, causing a pink tint to cross Felix’s face. 

He shrugs, before spluttering, “I-I don’t know, m-maybe?!” 

“Well, I’m sure whoever you’d be with would be very lucky.” You continue to giggle, nodding your head. 

Felix’s blush deepens and he nods his head shyly. 

“How about you? Seeing stuff like that in your future?” 

You shrug, picking up another piece of cheese from your plate before putting it into your mouth. You let it rest there for a moment, giving yourself time to think before you swallow. 

“Maybe,” you take a deep breath in and let it out as you look over to Felix. “I don’t know what’s in my cards yet, so maybe.” You shrug. 

“That’s a chill way to think about it,” he smiles. 

“Thanks,” you laugh. “I feel like it’s less pressuring that way you know?” 

He hums, nodding his head in agreement. “Oh yeah, for sure, everything should be done at your own pace.” 

“True, plus I haven’t even graduated yet so, I think I’ll focus on this hurdle before I think about another one that might not even happen yet.” 

Another white object falls, and this time you look up in time to catch a hand above you before its owner pulls it back. Letting your eyes fall back to your plate, there was an additional piece of camembert on top of the few cheeses you had left. You wouldn’t have questioned it this time if you hadn’t already finished the camembert you brought with you.

Your face contorts in confusion as your gaze settles on Seungmin, who barely acknowledges you as he pulls his hand away and continues to make his way around the table and to his seat. 

You blink as your eyes follow him, with your mouth open slightly in shock. 

“I thought you said it was complicated?” Felix chuckles, snapping you out of your daze. 

You nod, trying to get your brain to make a coherent thought. “It is…. We are.” 

Jisung snorts from next to you and leans to the side slightly so Felix can see him properly. “Trust me, as someone who’s seen it all since high school, complicated is putting it simply.” 

“You’re one to talk,” you mutter, shoving another piece of camembert into your mouth. 

“He’s been dropping cheese off to you like your cheese fairy godmother,” Felix chuckles again. 

“Don’t you mean fairy godfather?” Jisung asks. 

“Fairy godperson?” Felix responds. 

“Personal preference,” you shrug, “anyway, we shouldn’t let him cloud our minds with his confusing actions.” 

“Are you talking to us or yourself there?” Jisung chuckles, making you roll your eyes and playfully slap his arm. 

“Shut up Ji.”

Letting out a breath of air, you lean forward and quickly take another piece of cheese from your plate.

“I’m just saying, I don’t have an americano fairy godperson,” Jisung says matter-of-factly, leaning back into his seat. 

You just stare at him incredulously, blindly stuffing another piece of cheese into your mouth. “How would that even work?”

He shrugs. “Maybe they have a cup of coffee ready for me in the morning?”

Swallowing the piece in your mouth, you don’t break your stare. The thought of this magical fairy godperson having to memorize Jisung’s coffee order makes you feel sorry for them. You tried it once, and never again.

“Maybe they just pour coffee into your mouth,” Felix chimes in.

You snort, rolling your eyes. “That’s almost worse, it’s like a mama bird throwing up in its baby’s mouth.”

Closing your eyes, open your mouth and tilt your head up, as if to mimic the hypothetical baby bird. After a few seconds, you feel something land in your mouth, causing your eyes to shoot open and you sit up.

You pat on your chest and quickly clear your throat. You bite down on what you can taste is cheese and swallow. 

“That’s not how it went in the dream went,” you mutter to yourself as you lean back in your chair. 

Jisung from beside you blinks, his mouth wide. “Huh?!” 

Your eyes widen for a moment before your face breaks out into a smile at the boys confusion. 

“Like,” he leans forward and whispers. “Sexual?” 

You also lean forward, making him more intrigued, “Yes.” 

His mouth open and closes like a fish, “that doesn’t answer my question?!” 

“But do you really want the answer to that question though?” You ask, with a pessimistic look on your face. 

“Yes and no,” Jisung answers almost immediately. 

However, Jisung’s train of thought gets cut short when Gwen kneels down in between you two, her hand on either one of your chairs. “I’m sorry, but did I just see that right? Did he just feed you?” 

“He’s been feeding her all night,” Jisung hisses. “Did you know she’s had a sex dream about seungmin and cheese?!” 

Gwen rolls her eyes, “They’ve had sex before, of course, she’s had the cheese sex dream about him.” 

“Um, what?!” Jisung gasps as he continues to whisper. “You’ve had it with more people than just him?” 

This time it’s you that sending him a confused look. “Wait, is this about sex in general or the cheese sex dream?”

“I-” Jisung gasps. “I don’t know at this point, I’m so confused.” 

“Wait, that’s not why i’m here! Gwen hisses. “That weird moment at the food table and now he’s been feeding you all night? What is up with him?” 

“You tell me,” you sigh, your eyes linger on where he was currently sat, his attention on his older brother Minho and the two others sat across from him. 

“If I could give my two cents,” Felix leans behind your chair for the three of you to hear. “I’m Felix, by the way,” he smiles at Gwen and offers his hand for her to shake. 

“Oh, hi! I’m Gwen!” 

Their hands part and Felix clears his throat. “I don’t know what happened for things to be as complicated as you say they are, but he obviously has some unresolved feelings for you.” 

“How can you tell?” you ask. 

“Because adults are just overgrown children and I work with children every day,” Felix explains. “He uses these little things to keep your attention, any sign of that attention going away, he comes back and does it again.” 

“How are you so sure?” 

The side of Felix’s lips tilt up into a smirk. He shots a look, over to Seungmin and his smirk grows widen when he notices the boy is looking over at the four of them. “Eat the rest of your cheese quick,” he looks at you again. “I’ll prove it to you.” Looking over at Gwen, he smiles. “Gwen, you go back to your seat and act natural, you guys will see what I mean.” 

You do as he instructs, eating the rest of your cheese (even though you didn’t have much left anyway). After you plop the last piece into your mouth, you smile and hum. 

You loved cheese so much. 

You look over to Felix with a small smile. “Finished.”

“You can have some of mine,” Felix smiles and says slightly louder than normal, sliding his own plate over to you. “You are more of a cheese fanatic than I am, so you deserve it.” 

You exaggerate your pout as you look at him. “You’re my new favourite person Felix.” 

Even though it was an act, a pink blush still covers his cheeks as he brushes you off with a wave of his hand. “It’s fine, you’ll enjoy it more than I will anyway so go ahead.”

It’s maybe only thirty seconds later that a paper plate filled with different types of cheese– noticeably more camembert than the rest– appears beside you. Looking up quickly, you catch Seungmin with a scowl on his lips. 

“Here,” he mumbles quickly, before walking back around to his chair without a second to spare. 

Felix snorts, leaning backwards to send a look at Jisung and Gwen, and mouths ‘i told you’. 

“Okay,” you mumble. “Maybe you’re on to something.”

 In the next second, Gwen is back down kneeled beside you. “That was insane,” she gasps. 

“I don’t get it,” you huff. “He was the one that didn’t want anything official in the first place.” you mumble the last part, your eyes fixed on the plate with the mountain of cheese on. 

“It’s been three years,” Jisung starts. “People and their feelings can change.” 

“But…” what about what he said last night? Just for tonight? 

His words were one thing, but then his actions completely different. His words were, one time only, but his actions and the way your friends, and new friend, spoke about them, said that it was more than that. 

Why couldn’t you just read minds? You thought to yourself, at least then you’d maybe be able to tell what he was thinking half of the time. 

Looking at Gwen, you frown.

“Maybe,” Gwen sighs. “Maybe try talking to him,” her gaze narrows on you. “Properly this time.” 

Your cheeks begin to heat up and you nod. Looking at Gwen, you notice her gaze is elsewhere causing you to follow it and that’s when you see Mina talking to Seungmin. Every now and then he rolls his eyes, almost like he doesn’t like her words. 

“Maybe he’s being told the same thing,” Gwen says, patting your shoulder. 

You shrug, maintaining your gaze on Seungmin as you bring a piece of camembert into your mouth. Maybe this was a sign to talk to him.

Maybe you could give him another chance.

→→

seungmin casually slides into his chair, a smirk present on his lips as he picks at his now full plate. 

"What are you doing?" Mina's voice, fills Seungmin's ears and he tilts his head at her in false confusion. 

"What do you mean?" Mina's face is blank as she blinks. 

"Just casually dropping off cheese?" 

"No," he responds as he takes a bite of a piece of his food. "Just need to get my steps in." 

"You're full of shit Seung, seriously," she sighs. 

His eyes move to you and he watches how you speak with Jisung and whom he came to learn was Felix. He notices how Gwen leaves her seat to crouch behind you. But ultimately, he notices how Felix stares at him, his own smirk twisted into his lips. Seungmin's eyes narrows as he looks at the boy and he rolls his eyes at how Felix's laugh seems to make you smile. 

His eyes go back to you and he watches as you turn to eat the rest of the cheese on your plate and once you are in fact done. Felix smiles and moves his own closer to you. 

“You can have some of mine,” Felix's voice fills Seungmin's ears and he gets up suddenly, causing both Mina and Minho to look at him. Felix's voice still echoing in his ears. “You are more of a cheese fanatic than I am, so you deserve it.” 

He gets to the food table, grabs a paper plate and starts to put all of his annoyed emotions into putting the new pieces of cheese onto the plate. He wanted to say to say sorry to the cheese for being so mean, but he just resulted to rolling his eyes when your voice fills his ears. “You’re my new favourite person Felix.” 

Silently making fun of the way you said it, he rolls his eyes again before turning around. “It’s fine, you’ll enjoy it more than I will anyway so go ahead.” 

He takes the few steps over to where you're sat next to Felix and leans over and drops the plate onto the table. 

"Here," he mumbles and he doesn't leave you a second to process and respond.

Quickly walking back around to his seat, he drops into it with his arms crossed. He stares at his own plate on his table and just by the way he hears Mina sigh and turn to him, he knows he's in for it. 

"You seriously just can't keep chill can you?" Mina asks, clicking her tongue. 

Keeping his eyes on his plate, his jaw tightens. "What do you mean?" 

"Don't do this Seungmin, not right now, this is the rehearsal dinner for my wedding!" She says emphasising the word wedding. "Don't go and try and make things awkward not just for us but for her and everyone else here." 

Seungmin's eyes look up at his older sister. "I'm not trying to make things awkward." 

Mina rolls her eyes. "You're still full of shit Seungmin and you know that. You know what you're doing and you know why you're doing it." 

Seungmin rolls his eyes and he goes to open his mouth to speak, but Mina cuts him off. 

"No, you don't talk until I'm finished." Mina glares. "Now this is my wedding, you're not going to play your mind games with her. you're not going to have her regret coming and ruining this as a memory for not only her, but for me as well. I don't care if you think I'm being a bitch here, but you sort your shit out. If you really want to fix things, you don't do it like this. If you really want to fix things, you don't sleep with her on the first night of seeing each other again in hopes of it just making things go away and making it better. It doesn't work like that." Mina exclaims, causing Seungmin to shrink in his seat.

 He didn't know she knew about that. 

Mina sighs and frowns at her younger brother. "I love you, I really do, but you have to remember everything that happened back then was because you decided for it to happen that way. Take responsibility for it if you want things to be different with her." Mina suggests, she then laughs, trying to lighten the mood. "However, I don't know why you had to pick my wedding was the right time for it."

He tries to smile as he looks up at Mina, "I'm sorry." 

Mina leans forward and messes playfully with his hair causing him to try and push her hands away. "You're my little brother and I love and support you," Mina starts, however Seungmin knew this was too good to be true. She wouldn't just praise him so casually. "But you're so fucking stupid sometimes, I mean, I love it for you, but gosh Seungmin." 

there it was. 

"Ouch, but I love you too I guess." Seungmin responds. 

"Of course you do," Mina laughs. "I tell you the truth and you know that asshole would just laugh at you." Mina's eyes flickers to Minho, who's still focused on the other two men sat across from him. 

Seungmin joins in on her laughter and nods his head. "True." 

"Just," Mina sighs. "If you really want something, go for it. If you really want something with her. Tell her, don't continue to be that dumb high school kid you were and be truthful with her and lay it all out on the table." 

"Okay," Seungmin hums. "I'll talk to her."

→→

You're slow to leave the dining hall after the rehearsal dinner, too caught up in chatting to Felix, Jisung and Gwen that you're one of the last sets of people to leave. You trailed out behind Gwen and Jisung with Felix by your side as you continued to laugh at Felix's jokes. 

You came to a stop, however, when you saw Seungmin casually leaning up against the wall out in the hallway. When he notices you, he stands quickly and takes the few steps towards you, nodding slightly at Felix. 

Patting your shoulder, Felix smiles, "I'll catch up with you later." 

Inhale, exhale. 

You nod, sending a similar smile to the boy beside you. "Okay, see you later." 

As you watched him walk away, you took the moment to prepare yourself mentally before you turned to face Seungmin. 

His hair is messier, like he's run his hands through it a thousand times whilst he was waiting for you to come out into the hallway. And his tie, once neatly laid out was now pulled loose and his top button of his white shirt was undone. 

"Seungmin," you take another breath. "What do you need?" 

"To talk to you," he starts. "about everything." 

"Everything?" you question. "Like how you tried to choke me out with cheese today?" 

A chuckle escaped the boys mouth, his lips turned up into a smile. "You know you wouldn't be mad about it if it happened." 

You snorted as you tried your best to fight off a smile. "What do you want, Seungmin? Seriously." 

"About us," Seungmin takes a step forward. "I mean it, I-" 

Seungmin pauses mid-sentence like his brain had just up and paused on him. There was a look in his eyes that you couldn't quite figure out and when he opens his mouth to speak once more, he sighs. 

"I don't want it to be just for tonight– well last night." He blushes, closing his eyes to avoid having to see your reaction. 

"What?" You gasp. "Seungmin..." 

You couldn't help but feel an odd sense of reversed deja vu. 

“Look, I know it probably doesn’t make sense, after everything that happened between us, but…” Seungmin pauses to take a deep breath. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Something in you tells you that you know where this is going. 

But it can’t go that way. You know it deep down. As much as your body screams at you to give in right then and there, your brain screams over it.

“Seungmin…” you breathe out. Your eyes flick to the floor, then back to him.

You use every fibre of your being to stop yourself from stepping closer to him. Even after all these years, he was intoxicating—the right look from him could make you weak in the knees, turning you into putty. It was a mystery how you made it through the dinner.

Seungmin notices your hesitation, and gently lifts your chin up with two fingers. He then moves his hand so it’s cupping your cheek. The look he gives you is so tender, warmth pooling in his eyes, that you have to glance back down to compose yourself.

You dare to look up again, and something in you snaps. Before you could even think about what you’re doing, your hand slowly makes it’s way up his arm before going around the back of his neck.

It truly was a mystery how you made it through the dinner, you thought for a split second. But it all goes to static when you pull him against you and press his lips to his. 

His lips are chapped, like he had been nibbling on them as he waited for you. You don’t care as much as the kiss in itself is soft, sweet and a feeling swirled in your stomach like you had successfully gotten your next fix.

It quickly changes however, when his hands land on your hips, and it’s like electric shocks are sent all over your body. Sighing into the kiss, he takes the chance to overpower you and without little hassle, you let him. All you do instead is pull him closer to you– if it was even physically possible. 

“I still need to talk to you,” He pulls back slightly and mumbles against your lips. You quickly cut him short with another kiss.

“This,” kiss. “Isn’t,” another kiss. “Talking.” 

You’re doing everything you can to try and get him to stop thinking and to just solely focus on the act of kissing you. Moving your lips swiftly to his neck, you’re sure he can feel your smirk against his skin and you feverishly place kisses up and along his neck and jaw line.

“We can talk later,” he moans.

Taking your face in his hands, he angles you once again so you’re looking at him, smashing his lips to yours again, and you can’t think straight. It takes only mere seconds for you to full loose all thoughts of right or wrong.

You know what? Maybe one more night won’t hurt.

→→

You stare at the words that were displayed on your beat up flip up phone as you felt whatever vice was around your heart tighten. 

Mina: 11:45 am

Look, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this, but since he obviously isn’t going to tell you himself… Seungmin’s leaving for college. 

I tried to get him to tell you.

You felt your throat tighten and you did your best to clear it by patting on your chest causing you to cough. 

Pushing yourself away from your desk with your hands, you rise to your feet, before rushing out of your bedroom door, down the stairs and out of the door and away from your house in only a matter of seconds.

You could hear your parents calling out behind you, lost for words, but that didn't concern you at that moment. Not when seungmin was leaving and the only reason you knew was because his older sister was nice enough to tell you. Not even seungmin himself could get the courage to tell you- to break down his own walls ever so slightly just to give you the decency of telling you: hey, i'm leaving. 

Haphazardly typing out a response to Mina, you hit send and shove your phone into your pocket as you continue to run as fast as you could to their house. 

The adrenaline over powers the fact that you want nothing more badly as to cry. To break down and to scream to the world, to him, until your throat went dry and your lungs hurt. Because no matter how little or much he shared with others. no matter how much or how little he wanted to show the world that he cared, he still did. How, even after so many months of secrecy and silent wishes, he was more than just a senior year crush. 

He was more than just a mere moment in time. 

He was powerful, moving, frustrating in all of the best ways. He was addicting and even though he broke your heart every time he said he didn't want anyone to know about the both of you, you still foolishly stayed. Because you'd rather break your heart a thousand times by him than to never experience his love, even if it's not fully and out loud. No matter the odd and secretive the ways he seemed to share it. 

Because in those secret moments, the ones where it was you two vs the world. Where he looked at you like you had hung the stars in the sky especially for him. He made all of the pain worth it, made all of the crying into ice cream tubs at two in the morning worth it. 

Sure, maybe it didn't make sense, but nothing made sense about him. Ever. You could never fully wrap your head around the enigma that is Kim Seungmin, but you knew, if you had the chance, you’d want to spend as much time as possible trying to.

Your feet stop once you're outside of his house and whatever adrenaline you have seems to wear off as the tight feeling returns to your throat. You see movement through the living room window and even when your mind screams at you to flee, your feet carry you forward up the footpath and onto the main porch. 

The ever familiar white door is a looming presence. It’s silently taunting you, beckoning you to knock on its wooden surface and face the boy who was about to be ripped from your world. Or don’t. You could just go home for all he cared, go back to your fantasy world where Seungmin will always be around, only to shatter your own heart when you finally wake up.

It was like some screwed up form of Schrodinger's cat—no matter what you do, you know you’re going to lose.

Maybe that is what compels you to stay long enough for Minho to open the door, a confused but content smile on his face.

"Oh, y/n, hi!" 

You attempt to smile, but it falters, "Hey."

Whether or not he notices, he doesn’t say, which you’re thankful for.

“Here for Seung?” The older boy asks, causing your cheeks to heat up as you nod quickly. Minho hums before calling out behind him for Seungmin. “Come inside, it’s getting cold.” 

“Yeah…” Seungmin’s voice softens as he looks up and sees you, standing beside Minho. “Y/N…” 

Gulping, you wave before pushing your lips into a thin line. 

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Minho says, before turning to you and tapping your shoulder. “It was good to see you.” 

You nod simply, trying your best to smile as your gaze soon moves back towards Seungmin. He’s standing at the bottom of the stairs, his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes are looking in any direction that isn’t you. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Ignoring his question, you respond with your own. “Are you really leaving?” 

His head shoots up in surprise and the look on his face alone is enough confirmation, but it tugs at your heartstrings more when he asks.

“How did you know?” 

“So you weren’t even going to tell me?” Your face twists into a frown as you blink to try and stop your eyes from feeling glassy. “Do you care so little about me that you wouldn’t even tell me?” 

“How did you find out?” He rephrases his question from before as his eyes stayed on you. Boring into you like he was trying to find the centre of your soul. 

“Is that all you care about right now?” You scoff. “You care more about me finding out you’re leaving than actually telling me yourself?” You blink away the tears that had threatened to fall. This time, you were the one to look anywhere but at him. “Did none of our moments together mean anything to you?” 

You can’t tell if he’s deflecting, unwilling to answer your question or if he truly cares so little about the almost full year you had spent together. 

“That’s just what they are though,” Seungmin sighed. “Moments in time,” he crosses his arm over his chest and metaphorically sticks a knife through your chest. “But moments pass, and this is one of those moments.” 

“So they really didn’t mean anything huh?” you tsk to yourself, shaking your head lightly. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to ask, but, did I even mean anything to you?” 

“Of course, you meant something to me, you’re a great friend.” Now he’s cauterising the wound, whilst trying to shove the knife in deeper. 

It’s funny how someone in one moment could be beginning for your affection, only to stab you in the back the next. But it wasn’t just stabbing you in the back, it was full hung drawn and quartered. He was pulling the emotions out of you, the memories and tearing them to shreds in front of you like a child would rip open the wrapping paper on their presents on Christmas morning. 

“Friends, really?” you huff, “to you, we’re only just friends? Do friends really do everything we did together?” 

Seungmin slips his hands into the back pocket of his jeans as he shrugs. “Some friends might, who am I to judge?” 

“So you really wouldn’t care if I did all of the things I did with you with someone else? You know, 'cause that’s what friends do apparently.” You suggest.

Seungmin falters, his jaw tightening for a second before he relaxes. There’s something that flashes in his eyes that you can’t figure out and he just hallowly laughs.

“Of course not,” Seungmin mutters. “You can do whatever you want.” 

“So would it be wrong of me to assume that you did this with your other ‘friends’ too?” You felt a bubble get caught in your throat as you tried to keep your voice from failing. “Is that why you never wanted anyone else to know? Cause you had other ‘friends’?” 

Seungmin pauses as his eyes bore into yours. You want to look away, but something inside of you physically stops you from doing so. 

He stays quiet for the longest few seconds of your life before you attempt to speak again. “Can you at least-” 

“No,” he cuts you off, clearing his throat. “It was just you. I wasn’t and didn’t see anyone else.” 

“Were you embarrassed by me?” 

He shakes his head almost instantly and the more he speaks, the more utterly confused you’re getting. 

“No,” he says simply. “What’s there to be embarrassed about?” 

“You– You–” your mind stutters. “You confuse me so much. If it wasn’t because there was someone else and it wasn’t because you were embarrassed about me, then why? Why didn’t you want anyone else to know?” 

Seungmin sighs the heaviest sigh you think you’ve ever heard. It’s almost like he’s tired of repeating himself without ever actually repeating what he means. 

“Because like you said, they were moments in time, moments we shared together, but that doesn’t mean everyone needs to be aware of them.” Seungmin attempts to explain. 

“Not even the people that would be happy for you? Care for you and want you to succeed?” 

Seungmin shrugs his shoulders once more. He’s so casual about the whole thing that it’s like a stark difference to the Seungmin he showed you in secret, the Seungmin that only you saw. 

At this point, you couldn’t tell if you had gone numb to all of your emotions, or if you were reaching the breaking point. “You really just don’t care do you?” 

“I didn’t say that” Seungmin responds rather quickly. 

“You did,” you say twice as fast.

“I didn’t” Seungmin rebuts.

“You did, you said moments pass and that ours passed. Make it make sense?” You beg, you could accept any bit of explanation at this point. Especially if it cleared up how he was feeling and made you less confused. 

However, Seungmin couldn’t do that. He just had to add more questions than answers. It was like he couldn’t help himself.

“That doesn’t mean it didn’t mean something to me.”

“Well, it meant everything to *me*, Seungmin. Don’t you get it?” Running a hand through your hair in an attempt to get it out of your face, you let a groan escape your lips. “I did everything you asked of me. I didn’t tell anyone, I snuck around for you, I let my grades slip and my friends worry about me because of you. I waited and waited because at first, I thought, this is new. It’s fine if he doesn’t want to tell anyone right away. Let us just find our place together, to make sure we actually worked well together and then maybe he’ll be comfortable sharing with at least our friends, but then I kept waiting because I care so much about you and about every single moment that we spent together and how much I didn’t want them to end that I thought that just keeping silent and continuing to wait would be enough. And it’s the fact that I’m so foolish that I could wait for you forever if you asked me to because that’s how much I love you, Kim Seungmin.” 

You only notice the tears spilling down your cheeks when you begin to taste the saltiness on your lips. 

“Love?” He whispers. “You love me?” 

Taking in a deep breath, you wipe your cheeks and find the courage inside to look at him. His eyes are soft and red like he has his own tears welling up. Your frown deepens, “would it really make a difference if I did at this point?” 

“Y/N, I…” Seungmin pauses. He opens his mouth like a fish out of water but soon finds his words. “I thought we agreed, we were just having some fun, nothing serious.” 

“I never agreed to that Seungmin,” you hiccup. “I just let myself get carried away with you because I always hoped it would change.”

As he takes a step forward, you take one back closer to his front door. 

“Do you really love me?” He asks, his voice almost sounding sincere. 

Nodding, the tears rolling down your cheeks, drop onto the floor below you. 

“I do, so goddamn much and I see now how much of a fool I was to get swept up with you.” You laugh a laugh so hollow, your soul hurts. “I’m sorry and I hope college treats you well Seungmin,” sighing, you turn and open the door. “I really do.” 

Shutting his front door behind you, your feet once again carry you down the path and you stop once it connects to the main pavement. 

Just like all those months before, you stand there, waiting– wishing for him to come outside and to bring you into his arms as he screams about how much he loves you, but just like then, he doesn’t. 

You’re left alone with your sweater paw covering your mouth in hopes of muffling your cries. 

→→

It was Seungmin pulling you closer to him that caused you to stir and wake up and it was you shooting up in bed that caused him to groan and open his eyes groggily. 

“What are you doing?” he yawns, attempting to grab you and pull you back towards him. 

"I- I should," you move just out of the way of his fingertips. "I should go back to my room, the wedding is later." 

As you're looking around for your items of clothing, Seungmin sits up. 

"No wait, just stay here and go later, we still have time." he tries to reason with you, but you just shake your head. "Come on, lets go back to sleep." 

"I shouldn't, Seungmin," you mutter, slipping back into your clothes from last night. 

Seungmin gets up, finds some of his own clothes before he turns to face you. "Why not? what's wrong?" 

"It's just… this," you motion between you two as he steps towards you. "Us, everything about this."

 "Y/N," 

Groaning, you can't stop yourself from speaking. "And I hate it when you say my name like that!" 

"What's going on? Just talk to me please." 

"You, Seungmin, you're just so confusing to me like a fucking enigma." you scoff. "You’re the one that never wanted to be open before, you said we had a moment and that it passed and now here we are now. Now you're acting sweet, you're trying to have my attention on you 24/7, you're feeding me cheese knowing it's my favourite, but then you say things like how you only want to be with me for the night, or for the weekend?” 

You look around the room before your eyes meets his and you continue your speech.

“You say my name in the way you used to say it before, like how we weren't on the same page, saying my name in a tone like you were letting me down easy and I don't want to go through that again, Min." you slip up at the nickname. "I never wanted just for the night, just for the weekend. I wanted forever then and even after all this time, i'm still a fool for wanting it now."

“Y/N, wait–” 

Seungmin attempts to speak, but you cut him off before he gets the chance to say another word. 

“And you’re asking me to stay with you, to go back to sleep beside you in your arms. I just can’t stop thinking about how after today, we’ll part and it’ll be just like it was back then, another passing moment.” You gulp and look down, hoping he doesn’t see your lips waver. “I don’t think my heart can take it.” 

Seungmin gently tilts your chin up, forcing your eyes to meet his once more. His gaze is soft, his chestnut eyes swimming with a kind of warmth that almost makes you want to run back into his arms right there.

“Y/N, this…” his voice is soft, and his thumb is rubbing gentle circles on your cheek. You can’t help but lean into his hand. “This isn’t just a moment.”

Your breath hitches in your throat. You almost do throw yourself into him, you’re this close. You want so badly to just give into him for the third time, but the memories come back flooding to you before you can try.

You let out a shaky breath, and you have to move his hand away in order to get your next words out.

“Then what was it last time?”

Seungmin stays silent. His lips are parted as if he’s going to speak, but no words leave his throat. You search his eyes for an answer, noticing a mixture of surprise and shock for a second, then a flash of regret. He casts his gaze down, blinking a few times to recompose himself before looking back up at you.

An uncomfortable silence hangs in the air. Your stare shifts from his eyes to his lips and back as you wait for him to speak. But still, nothing comes out. Your chest tightens at the lack of response.

A minute passes by, and Seungmin still hasn’t uttered a word. You feel crushed under the silence, physically and emotionally, and your body scrambles to find a way out before your brain can catch up.

“Wait, Y/N—” Seungmin mumbles, grabbing your hand before you can step away from him. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from looking.

“Seungmin, I can’t.”

“Yes you can,” he pleas. You don’t need to turn your head to know he’s giving you that soft, desperate look. Those goddamn fucking puppy dog eyes you always fell for in the past, and you knew if you even dared to look, you’d fall for it again.

“I can’t.” You say, shaking your hand to loosen his grip on it and begin to gather the rest of your things. “You can’t even say a word to me.”

“I am right now,” Seungmin grabs your hand one more time and succeeds in making you turn around this time. 

You huff, letting your eyes trail up to this. “Okay, then tell me. If this isn’t another passing moment to you, then what was it last time?”

You clutch your purse in your hand, watching him expectantly for an answer. But another silence fills the air, and this one is louder than ever.

You don’t let the silence go on as long this time. Instead, you sling your purse over your shoulder, grabbing the rest of your things as you storm out of the room.

“I’ll see you at the wedding, Seungmin,” you say, and you turn to look back at him one more time. It takes everything in you to keep yourself from running back once you see the regret etched on his face. “Let me know if you ever have an actual answer for me.”

→→

“Now introducing, Mr. and Mrs. Bang!” 

The room bursts into applause and as he watches his older sister gaze at the love of her life, happiness begins to overflow in Seungmin’s chest. For years, he’s watched Mina adorn pages in her journal, and, the minute she had access to a smartphone, her Pinterest, with ideas of her dream wedding. She had every little detail laid out—from the sequins on her dress to the exact shade of the streamers that graced the walls of the venue. It made him roll his eyes at the time, but to see everything actually come to life with the man of his sister’s dreams, it now makes his heart swell with pride.

As Mina interlocks with her fingers with Chan’s, the audience stands up to watch the newlyweds walk back down the aisle, time seems to slow down for Seungmin. He follows her as she swings her hands with her new husband, her eyes all sparkly as she looks around at all her loved ones. As happy as he is for her, he can’t help but feel the slightest twinge of envy. It sounds bad to say on his sister’s literal wedding day, but he can’t deny it anymore.

Especially not after seeing Y/N again.

But Seungmin knows there’s a time and place for his feelings now, and his sister’s special day is not one of them. So he swallows it down, and, as the attendees follow the couple out to the reception, he gently pushes through the crowd to meet Mina up at the front.

Seeing his sister so happy up close seems to bring back the warmth pooling in his stomach. “You… you look beautiful.” 

Mina sends him a closed-eyed smile, patting Seungmin’s arm with her free hand. “Thank you. And thank you for being here.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it.” 

As Mina looks up at Seungmin, she can’t help but feel a sense of pride at how grown up her baby brother seemed to be and how much he had changed compared to his high school self. 

Mina’s smile grew wider as did Seungmin’s, “I’m really proud of you, by the way,” 

Seungmin feels his cheeks heat up and he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “This is meant to be about you,” 

Rolling her eyes, Mina chuckles. “It is, but it doesn’t mean I can’t praise my baby brother does it?” 

Seungmin’s eyes furrow together partly because of the question, but also because of the baby brother. “I’m not a baby.” 

Shaking her head, she gazes at her new husband quickly before looking back at Seungmin. “I don’t know. Your new brother-in-law would say otherwise.”

“That’s because he’s like 100 years old and everyone is baby to him,” Seungmin mutters, rolling his eyes. Mina slaps his arm, narrowing her eyes at her younger brother. 

“He’s 26, don’t be dramatic.” 

“My point still stands,” Seungmin continues to mutter, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. 

Seungmin lets out a silent sigh as his eyes flicker around the room. His shoulders dropping slightly when he can’t seem to find the person he;s looking for: you. 

“Why the long face?” Mina asks, “Looking for someone?” 

Seungmin nods silently, his eyes still checking around the room for you. 

“For Y/N?” Mina questions. 

Seungmin clears his throat, his ears feeling the heat. 

“Maybe…” 

“Oh…” Mina’s voice drops. “You just missed her. She caught me just a minute ago and said she wasn’t feeling good. she just congratulated me and left.” 

Seungmin’s shoulders drop and he does his best to smile at Mina. 

Mina smiles wider, in hopes of calming him, maybe even giving him some hope. “You could go ask Gwen? She’s sharing a room with her anyway, so i’m sure she’ll know more than I do.” 

Seungmin nods quickly, a hopeful smile indeed covering his face. 

When his eyes focus on Mina again, she’s already looking over her shoulder, lovingly gazing at Chan as he’s chatting with Felix and another blonde that Seungmin didn’t know the name of. 

“I don’t want to keep you,” Seungmin pats Mina’s shoulder. “Get back over to the love of your life.” 

Mina’s grin widens at the words love of your life as she nods. Seungmin could practically see the hearts floating above her head. 

“I’ll talk to you later,” Seungmin laughs and Mina just hums before she parts from Seungmin and wraps her arms around Chan’s waist when she gets close to him. Seungmin watches as Chan turns to her, his own dopey smile on his lips as he places a kiss on her hairline. 

After a moment, Seungmin inhales deeply and his eyes scan the room for his new target, Gwen. She was honestly pretty easy to find, especially when she had the loud-mouth Jisung by her side–constantly. 

When he sets his sights on Gwen and Jisung, Gwen is leant up against the wall and Jisung is basically hopping in place beside her. A concerned frown is etched into Gwen’s face and Jisung is doing his best, albeit not very well, to cheer her up. 

“Gwen, Jisung!” Seungmin calls out as he soon stops in front of them. 

Gwen stands instantly, her concerned frown now in a forced smile. “Seungmin, what’s up?” 

“Mina told me Y/N left, do you know where she went? 

Gwen’s face fell as she turned to look at Jisung. Jisung rubs the back of his neck. 

“She left, she’s catching a train back to the city…” Jisung explains. 

Gulping, Seungmin nods his head slowly. 

“If you go now, you might be able to catch her, but you have to be quick.” 

Seungmin perks up and nods his head quickly. The hopeful smile soon appearing back on his face. “Thank you.” 

Gwen takes a deep breath and slips her hand into Jisung’s and squeezes it lightly. 

“Do you think he’ll get there in time?” Gwen asks, her eyes lingering on the space where Seungmin once was.

Jisung squeezes her hand back, “we can only hope.” 

“Yeah, lets hope.” Gwen slips her hand away from jisung’s grasp and makes her way back into the crowd. Leaving Jisung alone, staring at her with a small frown on his face and his heart missing the warmth of her hand.

Seungmin gasps for breath as he rushes out of the lobby of the hotel. Resting his hands on his knees, he frantically looks around to try and find a sign of you. However, no matter where he looked nothing seemed to appear. 

Feeling the vibrations from his phone in his pocket. He fishes it out and a text alert from Mina appears on his screen. 

Annoying Sister: 5:01 pm

She’s at central station, it leaves in an hour… Good Luck!

Seungmin smiles to himself. It’s the exact sign he needs to keep going.

→→

The small ding comes from your phone as it confirms the payment for your train ticket. Slipping it into your pocket, you smile sheepishly at the ticket attendant and take the printed-out tickets from his hands. 

With a small thank you, you take your suitcase and let it trail behind you as you slowly start to make your way over to an electronic sign board to look to see which platform your train would be leaving from. 

You were lucky enough to only have to catch one train back to the main city and from that station, you could easily catch the bus back to your apartment. Sure, it would be a long journey, especially by train, but you’d rather that than have to potentially face another awkward encounter with Seungmin after everything that had happened that morning. 

Stepping up onto the platform, you find an empty seat and pull out your phone frowning at the notifications on your lock screen. 

Gwen<3: 5:15 pm

Are you sure you want to leave? You can still ride with us in the morning…

y/nnie: 5:45 pm

Yeah, It would be best. I just don’t know if I could cope with facing him again.

Gwen<3: 5:46 pm

Okay:/ just make sure to get home safe okay? 

Angling your phone up, you try to smile as you take a quick selfie to send to her. Not really caring what it looked like, you hit send and exit out of the messages app. Pulling up the gram, you scroll through your feed, randomly liking pictures posted by the few idols you liked, the random meme pages you followed and even some distance friends you had from school that you never bothered to unfollow. 

You pause, however, when a photo of Mina and Chan appears on your timeline. In the photo, they’re gazing into each other’s eyes, loved-up dopey grins spread so wide across their faces that it reached their eyes. The caption reads three cheers for true love, and your heart can’t help but strain. 

You couldn’t help but think of Seungmin and regret– not the time you spent together, but how you spent it together. It was like a moment, and it passed by so quickly without you even stopping to think about it. How, in the beginning, you didn’t want to face him, but you found yourself getting caught up with him the moment he set his sights on you. 

You wished you could go back, but it was too late. It was too late to change what had happened. You wished you could live in this fantasy of the weekend forever. You wished you could stay beside him and lay in his arms forever. 

But the moment you would step foot on the train, everything would go back to the way it was– like nothing ever happened. There would be no Seungmin, there would be another weekend of laying in his arms and enveloping yourself in his being. 

It would go back to the daily torture of university and job searching. You would go back to wishing that you and Seungmin could be more than whatever you were. 

Wishing you could go back and relive the weekend.

Seungmin’s leg bounces up and down anxiously as he’s sat in the back of the taxi cab. Silently praying that the damn driver would just hurry up already. Cursing him out mentally for not realising how much of an emergency this was and how bad Seungmin needed to get to the train station. 

All luck seems to turn on Seungmin apparently when the cab comes to a sudden halt and a choir of car horns ring out around him– including the one from the cab he’s in. 

Leaning forward, he peers through the front window. “What’s going on?” 

“I dunno,” the driver shrugs, tapping on his steering wheel. “Traffic jam or something.” 

“How far away are we from the train station?” 

The driver looks back at him with an odd look on his face, but speaks when he sees how frantic Seungmin is. “Like ten minutes if you run?” 

Digging cash out of his wallet, Seungmin throws it at the driver before hopping out of the car at lightning speed and a keep the change falling from his lips. Ignoring the way the driver is calling after him, Seungmin is too focused on running through the packed-up street. His deep breath and the sounds of his hands hitting cars as he’s sliding through the gaps to get onto the sidewalk fill his ears. 

Seungmin is sure he’s never ran so fast in his life, but as the train station comes into view, it only pushes him to run faster. 

He pushes through the crowds of people and up to a ticket guard, his words spewing out of his mouth with little care. He haphazardly pays, grabs the tickets and runs over to the signboard.

When he finds your platform on the map, all he can do is hope he gets there on time. 

Your eyes linger on the signboard overhead of the platform as the minutes until your train arrives slowly tick away. A sudden dread fills your stomach and it’s like your body is screaming at you not to go. 

Your mind and your body still burn with the memories of Seungmin’s touch, How after one night, it was like your body became more dependent– more addicted to his touch than you had ever experienced. 

A bubble got caught in your throat as the overhead announcer called out about the arrival of your train. Your stomach drops.

You’re not ready to go back to normal life. You’re not sure if you’d ever be ready to go back to a life without Seungmin. All of your being was calling out for him– calling out for a sign to stay, for a reason to stay.

But when nothing seems to answer, you round up your bags and watch as the train slows and pulls to a stop in front of you and after a moment or two, the little buttons lit up to show it was now okay to open the train doors. 

The stinging feeling prickles your eyes as you stare at the now-open door. This was it, the return back to reality.

You lift your suitcase onto the train and step on after it. You don’t bother to attempt to wipe away the tears that fall from your eyes, not when the ones you wipe would instantly be replaced. 

A voice you recognise instantly calls out from the platform.

“WAIT!”

Seungmin just barely gets onto the train as the doors close behind him. His face is red and he’s gasping for air. 

“S-Seungmin…” You blink, your mouth agape. “What are you doing here?” 

Once he’s caught his breath, he stands up straight and looks you straight in the eyes. 

“I’m here for you,” he declares. “I’m here to talk to you.” 

You continue to look at him, waiting for him to continue. 

However, before he gets the chance, the train stutters into life, causing you to fall into Seungmin’s chest, his arms wrapping instantly around you for protection.

Pushing your lips into a thin line, you stare up at him, your heart hammering against your chest. “Say what you were going to say, Min,” 

His gaze on you softens as he takes a deep breath. “I care about you,” he exhales. “A lot.”. 

Humming, you nod. “I care about you too.” 

“No, it’s… it’s more than that.”

Seungmin opens his mouth, closes it and opens it again. It’s like he’s bringing up all of the courage he needs to say what’s really on his mind. Especially when it was too late to back out now– not that he even wanted to.

He wanted to say everything he had to say, he was going to say it.

"I've been waking up daily for the past three years wishing I could take back what I said, wishing I could take back everything. But then you were at the wedding and it was like a chance to spend time with you, to relive and to act like we were back then. It was like I was given a chance to make things right by some creature above.” Seungmin pauses, he brings up his hand to lightly brush some of your hair out of your face. 

“Min…” You start, but he shakes his head before you can even continue. 

“Wait, let me finish first?” Seungmin says as more of a question than a statement. You just nod, a small smile playing on your lips.

“I wasn't lying when I said it wasn't just a moment between us. It wasn't just a moment back then, either, and I was so stupid for running and hiding, calling it a passing moment when I knew fully well that it wasn't. It never was and it never will be. Please just… let me prove it to you.” 

You feel your heart quicken in pace as he continues his speech. His eyes are so full of love and sincerity that you don’t know how to cope. 

What Seungmin didn’t seem to know was he already had your heart, he had it ever since your senior year. 

After everything, he still meant everything.

“I was an idiotic teenager who didn't know how to face or even acknowledge what I wanted. I can't go back and change that and I’ll forever regret how I made you feel back then, but I know now I don't want to make that same mistake again, I don't want to lose my chance to be with you again. So please, can we start over?” 

His hands rest on your cheeks, making sure you’re staring into his eyes as he says his next words:

“Because Y/N, I don't just want you for tonight or for the weekend… I want you forever. ”

#ftftwf; ksm #seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin scenarios #seungmin fics #seungmin fluff #seungmin angst #seungmin imagine #seungmin stray kids #seungmin skz #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin au #seungmin x you #seungmin drabbles #stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids imagine #stray kids drabbles #skz #skz au #skz scenarios #skx fluff #skz angst #skz x reader

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Mentions of babies being taken away from their unmarried mothers, them being sold to their adoptive parents, a mother trying to run away with her unborn daughter, her friend basically going mad because of the pain she felt after her son had been taken from her, her killing the girl who was trying to run away and taking her daughter and mentions of the everlasting pain of those mothers who had had their babies stolen from them.

•Some of the lines are almost the same that are in a scene of the "Cold case" episode this story is inspired by. I did modify them a bit, though. I didn't just copy and paste them.

•VERY IMPORTANT THING: This chapter was pretty upsetting for me to write, so if it's upsetting for you to read, I understand. Feel free to skip it.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @rynwritesreid, @asolitaryrose3, @justalesbianwithsomegayshit, @marril96, @c-m-stuff, @criminal-addict.

Between their two hearts

Chapter 23: Grief, anger and murder

On the night between July 24 and July 25 of 1968, without Jennifer knowing it, as she ran away with her little girl, someone was watching her.

That person was Emily, who, upon seeing her friend leave Saint Bridget's with her daughter in her arms, decided to follow her.

For a few minutes, she simply watched Jennifer run through the woods just outside the institute, following her while trying not to be noticed.

Then, however, she decided to make herself heard by the girl.

"Jennifer!" she shouted, starting to run too, in order to reach her "Jennifer, wait, it's me!".

Hearing the voice of the person who had been her only friend at Saint Bridget's, the girl stopped moving, so in a few seconds, Emily was next to her.

"What are you doing?" she then asked.

"They sell babies at the institute, Emily" Jennifer replied, no longer able to keep that truth to herself "They don't give them up for adoption. Their new parents pay to have them".

"No, that's not true!" Emily exclaimed, shaking her head in shock "It can't be true!".

Before she could say anything else, Jennifer started running again, so she chased after her and stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Jennifer, no! Stop!" she told her, but the younger girl shook her head.

"They only lied to us" she replied "We are mothers now. We will never be able to forget our children".

"But you said you wouldn't abandon me!" Emily protested, feeling angry by that time.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but I have to go now" Jennifer retorted.

"What do you mean?" her friend asked her.

"I'm running away with my Sunshine!" the girl exclaimed "I don't want her to be taken from me!".

Then she tried to start running again, but Emily stopped her once more.

"No, you two are going to stay here!" she shouted at her "I abandoned my baby, now you have to do it too!".

"No, she's my daughter!" Jennifer replied.

"She's not yours anymore, you have to take her back to the institute!" Emily screamed, in the shrillest voice her friend had ever heard her make "You need to bring her back!".

"What?" Jennifer questioned, confused and shocked at the same time.

After seeing how much her friend had suffered when her baby had been taken from her, she wasn't expecting to hear those words come out of her mouth.

"Bring her back to Saint Bridget's!" Emily repeated, pretty much hysterical by that time "Bring him back, you can't run away with him! He's my baby!".

"What are you saying?!? Are you crazy?!?" Jennifer exclaimed.

Deep down, she knew what was happening to her friend, but at that moment, her reaction shocked her deeply.

"No, he's mine, not yours!" Emily replied, as she reached down and quickly picked up a rock from the ground near her feet "He is my son and you have to give him back to me! You have to give him back to me! He is mine!".

Then, deep into her anger and grief, she hit Jennifer on the head with the rock and after making sure the girl was dead or at least going to die soon, she took the baby from her arms and returned to Saint Bridget's with the little one.

Hoping she could fill the void that had formed in her heart when her son had been from her, she placed her in her baby's crib and until the next morning, took care of her as if she was her own child.

The pain she felt didn't go away, though.

Jennifer was right.

None of them would have ever been able to forget their baby, and that hole in Emily's heart was going to accompany her for the rest of her life.

[suvidrache]

Someone Got Hurt

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 591 | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist

Author's Note: I do not write for mk1. writing is from mk11 and past.

It was never meant to happen this way. It wasn't supposed to happen.

Shao Kahn. Emperor of Outworld. He had it all. He had money, he had power, and he had you. He had everything that he ever wanted. Someone who loved him. People to conquer and control. The castle was the safest place he knew. He wouldn't let you in if it wasn't safe. He would stay by your side if he could. He kept his most trusted guards with you. He couldn't help but worry sometimes that they might not protect you. Of course, that would mean he would have their heads. However, he knew all too well that the only person that he could trust was himself and you, of course. He trusted you. He just wanted to keep you safe from the outside world. Safe from people who wanted to hurt him for his behavior and actions. He knew, for he had killed and betrayed Onaga. It didn't matter if you could defend yourself or not. He wasn't going to risk you being hurt.

“Hey, Shao. Do you think we could take a walk in the castle gardens?”

You asked as you smiled up at him.

“Of course.” He would give you anything and everything you could ever want. Just let him know, and it was yours. He was madly in love with you. No one had ever seen him so happy before. It was a breath of fresh air for the people of Outworld. Of course, he kept his reputation. He wouldn't let them get too comfortable. They wouldn't get the opportunity to overthrow him.

You took his hand, and he stood up from his throne. He followed you as you led the way to the gardens. You looked around, and he stood with a smile on his face as he watched you wander.

The room was filled with all of the various flowers and some trees that he could find. It was there, because you had wanted it there. The ceiling was gone. Letting the flowers be exposed to the air and the elements. The walls were still in place. His full attention was on you. A single arrow came down. He never saw it coming. Time seemed to stop as you fell to the ground with a scream. Shao Kahn's eyes were huge. He raced towards you and fell to the ground, screaming. You didn't know what he was saying, but you stared off into the distance. Your eyes closed as you lost consciousness. Shao Kahn lifted you into his arms as if you weighed nothing. He raced through the castle, not bothering to stop or avoid anyone who stood in his way. They would move, or they would be hurt. He raced you to the medic as fast as he possibly could. He demanded that they help you, or they would face his wrath. He hated waiting. He hated seeing you in so much pain. He paced back and forth. His fist to his face as he continued taking a few steps, turning around and doing it again and again. He wanted to be out there, hunting the man who had hurt you. The man who dared to lay a hand on you. When you were better, he took you to the room and locked you in. No one would hurt you while he was away. At least he hoped, or he would single-handedly execute every single one of them himself. He would find the man who hurt you, and he would pay.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @alpha-wo1f2, @imagineherbrightskies, @queendeeshorrorimagines, @phantomheiko, @sunmoongoddess / Join my tag list here!

#mortal kombat shao kahn #shao khan #shao kahn x reader #shao kahn imagine #shao kahn headcanons #shao kahn scenario #7 year celebration event #shao kahn #mk x reader #mk x y/n #mk x you #mk imagine #mk headcanons #mk scenarios #mortal kombat imagine #mortal kombat headcanons #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat scenarios