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crimson-rain-smoked-flower · 2 years

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I’m not trying to attack you, but do you know that proshipper means someone who supports and romanticizes pedophilia, incest, and abuse? Your reblog on that post seems to read that you think antis just hate on people for having ships they don’t like. But it’s completely different than that. Just looking on the proshipper side of Tumblr and the internet and you can see people happily shipping children and adults and making nsfw content of such things.

i appreciate that you're not being outright hostile, but i have to say, that on its own put you above basically every anti i've interacted with.

i understand where antis are coming from, i really do. there are a lot of things on the internet that make me deeply uncomfortable, including the minor/adult ships that you mention. i don't want to anything to do with those kinds of ships and i would be happiest if i never saw them again. which is why i'm proship.

nine times out of ten, if i see that kind of ship brought up on my dash, it's because i was following an anti without realizing it, and they brought it up unprompted and untagged, to talk about how bad it is that they exist. they are the ones putting that kind of content in front of my face and making it harder to avoid.

the thing about people who ship those ships is that they're generally very aware that not everyone wants to see that kind of content, and so they tag it. they make sideblogs to talk about it. they don't go out of their way to shove it in people's faces. that means i, and everyone else who doesn't like it, can avoid it.

what antis want is for it to not exist at all. they want the tags to be purged and blocked, and for anyone who uses those tags to have their accounts deleted. and sure, that might get rid of some of it, but do you know what would happen to the rest? it would stop being tagged. people who don't want to see it wouldn't have the tools to avoid it. this isn't just a hypothetical, that's what's happened any time a fan space has tried to do that.

that's not even getting into the rabbit hole of what should be banned and what shouldn't. obviously any content that depicts real children or real life abuse shouldn't exist and shouldn't be allowed to be posted, but basically any platform that people use already enforces those policies, and there's not much of a slippery slope to go down there. if it involves real living breathing people being abused, it's bad. end of discussion.

but the same can't be said for fiction. ask ten antis for a specific list of all the content that should be banned, and you'll get ten different answers. what about kink? what about roleplay? what about horror and murder and anything that involves fictional characters being graphically tortured? what about people using art to process terrible things that have happened to them? what about art that uses dark themes as a horror element? if you just want to ban anything questionable to anyone, that's the line of thinking that gets any mention of lgbt existence banned. and again, this isn't just a hypothetical, this has happened before, and that's generally where it leads.

i know, from personal experience, that antis do, in fact, send harassment to people just for shipping things they don't like. i've gotten accused of absolutely vile shit for shipping two fictional characters who were both consenting adults. i've seen ship wars turn into moral battlegrounds, over ships that an average person wouldn't bat an eye at.

the thing about "romanticization" is a whole other can of worms. the anti logic goes like this: if someone sees something (even if it's very obviously fictional) in a positive light enough times, they will start thinking it's okay in real life, and go on to hurt real people. the problem with that is that it's just. blatantly untrue.

if it were true every horror movie fan would be a serial killer, every person that studies dark media would be an unhinged psychopath, and everyone who is into ddlg would be a pedophile. but they're not. they just aren't. people have directed movies just as fucked up as the darkest shit on ao3, and are still capable of being normal human beings who know right from wrong in real life.

even if someone is that impressionable, scrubbing away the existence of every piece of questionable content isn't going to solve their problem, because they're still going to be vulnerable to con men, scams, and cultists. the only thing that would actually materially help someone like that is developing their own morals and critical thinking.

children are also more impressionable, and there's a lot of content that's not suitable for them, but that doesn't mean that content shouldn't exist. it just means that they should stick to spaces designed for them (which most social media sites, tumblr included, are not) or, if they're old enough to be responsible for their experience online, they, or a trusted adult in their lives, should block and filter out things that they aren't comfortable with.

which is what everyone on the internet should be doing. it's what i do, and it's made the internet a much more pleasant place to be. and it's why i sometimes worry for antis mental health, especially teenagers, because they're being told it's right and moral to seek out content that makes them uncomfortable and to engage with the people making it. and that's just. really bad. it's not good for the creators that they're harassing obviously, but it's also really bad for them! it's not healthy to seek out things that make you feel bad, and it's a terrible internet safety lesson to teach minors that it's okay for them to seek out and engage with people making adult content.

individual harassment and crusading is never going to succeed at removing dark content from the internet. it just isn't. at best you might get a small percentage of people who create that content to stop sharing it, at worst you're just going to make people stop tagging it, and either way, you're exposing yourself to things that make you feel bad, when you don't have to.

if you want to materially change the type of content you see, you can. the block button is your friend, use it liberally. same with content filtering and tag blocking.

#oops this got really long #cd.ask #proship #disk horse #tw pedophila mention #uhhh what to tag #tw shipping discourse #this doesn't even get into the antis that i've seen proudly professing that they care more about fictional characters than real people #because i don't know how to explain to someone that real humans matter more than cartoon characters #or how to avoid content on platforms other than tumblr bc frankly thats a lot of the reason i don't use them #i don't trust an algorithm #also im turning anon off after posting this so if you want to send me hate you cant be a coward about it #also be prepared to get blocked and ignored #the only reason i answered this person is bc they weren't being hostile

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fizzybizzy · 11 months

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holy shit dude

#fizzy.txt #also yes this is real I literally scrolled through his tweets to find this #I can't believe that ken is jumping ship but for reasons I never wouldve expected from him #transphobia mention #tagging that since the topic in the image is ken leaving twitter due to its increasing transphobia #Sonic the Hedgehog #finally adding that tag bc I forgot even tho it's been 15 hours

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onefey · 1 year

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let's cut to the chase, zelda fandom. you're not gonna spout incredibly hateful (and sometimes downright misogynistic) things about yona just because she is prince sidon's fiancé. you're going to at least treat her with the same respect you'd give any other character. if you're upset because you're into sidlink you're going to remember that healthy polyamory or amicable breakups or gentle rewrites of canon or other numerous solutions exist, and if you don't like her or think nintendo made her specifically to spite sidlink shippers (they didn't, get your head out of your own ass 🙄) you're still going to be polite.

you are above taking potshots at female characters who "get in the way" of your ship, okay?

#the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk #totk spoilers #prince sidon #yona #i am putting this in the sidlink tag because i mentioned that ship and it is a plea bc i have already seen.. so much bullshit #im not big into the ship myself but i respect how much of this fanbase likes it. im just begging. be nice.#this would be a different problem if there was actual erasure going on but there wasn't. your gay shark is now your bisexual shark. move on #fey rambles #edit: okay it's been enough time the ship tag has been removed. Be Nice.

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airborneice · 6 months

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“What’s this one supposed to mean?”

“Hmm..beauty or strength, sometimes.”

“Perfect.”

@sketchbookweek Day 2 - Wilderness / Witchcraft

going back to my roots of drawing sketchbook being gay in a field

#update I’m doing the silly coloured speech bc I realised i didn’t make it super clear who’s saying what jjghgd #Hilda sketchbook #sketchbookweek #hilda the series #sketchbook ship #art tag #sooo this was the first drawing I did for skbk week and let me tell you guys #it fought me. every. step of the way #i spent like 3 evenings working on the sketch just to scrap it and redo it on the next one #I’m so rusty with art I haven’t been able to do anything remotely ambitious in so long sooo yeah :’)everyone lower your expectations please #however I do think this came out kinda nice #spiritually I guess it’s a redraw of that drawing from 2020 so seeing a bit of improvement is nice anyway #i love these prompts btw I wish I could’ve done both #the flower is a jasmine btw. every website on the internet had a different idea of its meaning so I picked the ones I liked 😌#is it worth mentioning that I had some doodles I wanted to post for day 1 but I literally could not get them done on time :’)#an attempt was made but ah well. onto the next

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cerealmonster15 · 5 months

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images that bring me peace. u simply dont understand. !!!!

#tagging them bc theyre IMPORTANT SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!#twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #cater diamond #twst #ummmmmmmmm theyre friends they get along they like each other THEY ARE IMPORTANT TO MEEEEEE #guest star trey clover also bc the three of them are a set and mean the world to each other actually #brought to u by them being my faves but also me getting upset that ppl think theyre not friends!!!#also riddle has a voice line in his bday card that trey and cater made those tarts for him!!!!!#listen listen LISTEN trey/cater/riddle theyre soooo shdfkjdsfkjl theres so much there #like platonic or ship either way theyre just. they mean So Much #riddle trusts cater as basically a secondary vice housewarden!!!#cater is so often herding the underclassmen alongside trey and riddle!!!!!!!!!!#he wouldnt be in that spot if riddle didnt like or trust him!!!#theyre friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#theyre friends. ill bite u. <- me fighting with no one LOL #I LOVE WHEN RIDDLE MENTIONS CATER WHEN HES NOT THERE AND HES LIKE CATER WOULD LIKE THIS!!!!!#THATS HIS FRIIIEEENDDDDDD [starts sobbing]#ok god i need to go to bed #but i had a lot of these in drafts for weeks #i just kept forgetting to reread the riddle and cater dorm stories for screenshots #god the way they all get sulky faced over missing cater... heartslabyul you mean everything to me forever #my blatant favorite dorm !!!!!!!!!!!

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chubs-deuce · 3 months

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Ok I just watched whole hazbin hotel show and I know what you mean about Charlie and Vaggie relationship

their have cute songs together but Vaggie to me personality wise hasn’t got that much of a personality compared to the others characters ?

I think the last 2 episodes she had more of a personality 🤷‍♀️ (this isn’t a anti post , I feel like she has a lot of potential to flash her character out more hopefully in season 2)

personally I prefer Charlie and Alastor cause I feel like theirs something there, it’s interesting and it has a lot of potential

if they wanted me to root for Vaggie and Charlie I feel like they should be friends at first and then we see them slowly falling in love , that’s my opinion of course XD

Agreed 100%

To be fair I don't think charlastor is inherently better in any way, since I recognize that they don't actually have much of a leg to stand on in canon, but they still intrigue me a lot more conceptually in fan-content, in ways that I've outlined in this post already so I won't repeat myself here lol.

Charlie and Vaggie are sweet, unproblematic, thoroughly wholesome and that is a dynamic that can not only absolutely work but also be very appealing!

Good domestic fluff is my bread and butter, but it just doesn't really hit the same when I'm not really given much of a reason to care for the pairing beyond the narrative going "look they hold hands and use pet names, isn't that cute?"

So I agree that having their "falling in love" stage be explored more would've helped a lot in elevating how and why they love each other, though it wouldn't even have been necessary, established relationships in fiction can work really well even without that if done right.

The way they're shown to first meet has SO MUCH POTENTIAL to be a great story bit to explore (I might try and do that in writing some time ngl), with Vaggie just coming from this intense of a betrayal, likely having her whole worldview usurped and now, after being taught all her life that demons are worthless scum, being shown unconditional kindness and offered a helping hand from one... There's a lot for her here to process!

Like I really feel like her repeatedly underlined trust issues could've so easily led into a sweet narrative of how meeting Charlie taught her to trust in others again, but her "learning to trust others" path was already explained with brothers-in-arms style bonding on the battle field and the rest was just kinda played off as a love at first sight thing. It had potential! It was right there! And yet!!! [frustrated groan]

I get they were probably trying to aim for combining those two points and had very little time to do so properly, but it imo just missed the mark by a painful amount...

It doesn't help that Vaggie also generally fell kinda flat as a character for most of the show, in part because she's often forced to share the spotlight and has very little focus put on her as an individual.

I really hope they do her better in the next season either way :')

I haven't given up on chaggie yet, but only time will tell if that changes.

#anti chaggie #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel spoilers #again technically not actually against the ship but I'd rather people be able to block out tags that don't talk positively abt their otps #charlastor #bc it got mentioned even if it's not the focus #chubs answers

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seaweedraindraws · 11 months

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Omg them

#sonic prime #sth #rusty rose #metal sonic #new yoke #the morse code on the handshake should just say Rusty and the tag on the hammer should say Metal #if I got those correct? unsure!!!#But I did attempt!#He wants to hold HAAANDS #rustychaos #adding that ship name in here bc I saw someone mention it somewhere and I LOVE it #chaos sonic #metamy prime

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

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Eden actually likes her name. When she thinks about the muslin-draped horrors she could’ve gotten stuck with, like poor Suzie, she feels guiltily glad she dodged that bullet. If she’d been the one who had to shoulder the impossible burden of being named Suzie, who knows how she might’ve turned out.

Eden is a word that could go a lot of ways. It’s almost as good as Lilith or Isis or something. It’s the kind of name that could be sexy, in the right hands. The kind of name you could say on stage: ladies and gentlemen, introducing the one and only Eden—

That’s where the picture stalls out, though. Eden Bingham is pretty awful, no matter how you spin it. She wants to pick a stage name like some glamorous Hollywood actress, but she hasn’t decided exactly what she wants yet. She thinks it would be real elegant to pick something French, like…like Verne.

There’s a battered paperback tucked under her mattress at home, where sticky, prying little fingers can’t get at it. She’s not a fast reader, but she’s read it about a million times by now. Sometimes when she can’t sleep, she’ll take it out and just squint at it in the moonlight, tracing her fingertips over the faded elephant on the cover. It’s a story about some guy who was so bored he decided to travel all around the world, and nobody stopped him. He could just go. He didn’t have any kids or anything that he had to take care of or look after; in fact, there was some guy whose whole job was to look after him.

For a little while, Eden thought about borrowing the main guy’s last name, but Eden Fogg sounds kind of old and stuffy. She could take the French valet’s name, but she’s not completely confident she knows how to pronounce Passepartout, and she’s terrified she’s going to say it wrong and nobody’s going to take her seriously ever again.

The author’s French too, though, and his name seems a lot easier to handle. So, lately she’s been looking in the mirror and saying Eden Verne, hi my name is Eden Verne real quiet to herself, just testing it out. She’s not sure about it yet, but it’s definitely better than Eden Bingham.

Eden Bingham is just a handful of years away from Edie Bingham, who spends her time looking after a house full of kids and wears shapeless floor-length dresses. But Eden Verne could be someone who travels and wears exciting makeup. Eden Verne drinks and swears and smokes, and she never has to deal with kids ever again. Beautiful, sophisticated men and women alike despair for love of her, but she never lets anyone stay more than a night.

Anyway, she doesn’t have to figure out if she can carry off Verne yet, because the stupid boy she followed halfway across the country introduced her to his friends as Eden Bingham, so she never got the chance to decide if she was going to say something different. She probably wouldn’t have, but—maybe she would. Maybe. She’ll never know.

The thing with Argyle fizzled out pretty quick. He’s cute, and making out with him is fun, but he doesn’t ever seem to want anything real out of life. Eden can’t understand him at all, and worse yet, she’s pretty sure he doesn’t understand her. When they’re high, they communicate just fine giggling about the cosmos, but that’s not enough. She’s sure there’s supposed to be more, even if she’s not entirely sure what that means.

She broke up with him on an impulse, and sometimes she regrets it. He’s a good guy. He’s not like any other guy she’s ever known. He’s willing to drive clear across the country, which is what she liked about him to begin with. Maybe that’s as good as it gets for her.

But she can’t take it back now. It’s not even that she thinks he’d say no, necessarily; she just can’t handle the idea of trying to walk back something like that. She’d die of humiliation before the words made it out of her mouth.

So Eden’s just here, in Hawkins, staying in her ex-fling’s best friend’s step-dad’s spare room because it’s still marginally better than having to hitch home to Utah. Argyle is planning to drive back to California in a few weeks, so she’s going to just ride with him then. In the meantime, she’s going to have a nice, quiet vacation in Indiana, doing whatever it is Midwesterners do in the summer, and then she’ll go home and nothing at all about the life of Eden Bingham will have changed.

#eden bingham #so yeah this is the robin rarepair I mentioned! I don't want to talk too much in the tags bc I want to see if I can sell it via narrative #obvs this is the same story as the matchmaking snippet I posted last night but I don't think it follows directly #I just wrote it & it seemed like a pretty self-contained thing so here u go #(also I'm kinda assuming this post is not going to be too popular given it has zero ship content and is about a very minor character haha)#(which is fine! that's just how fandom works! maximum engagement is not my goal I'm just here to try stuff out)#anyway there's a pretty good chance this'll get rewritten once I have a better handle on eden's voice #fic: somewhere sometime somehow

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feralsteddie · 9 months

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blame @grandwretch for telling me to listen to bad idea right?

Steve cringed at himself, contemplated bashing his own head in on his steering wheel, and got out of the car.

He was still slightly covered in glitter, some of it his, some of it Robin and Chrissy’s.

The two of them were still at the club. Where Steve left them. After getting a literal ‘u up?’ text like Eddie hadn’t watched Chrissy get ready to go out with them in their shared apartment and knew he'd be awake and out until 2 AM at the earliest.

God, when had Steve fallen so low?

He’d blocked Eddie’s number months ago, had even gone on a couple of dates! The last one had been with Levi. Steve liked Levi. Even if he kept making Dead Kennedy’s jokes that Steve didn’t get and kept insisting that Steve would just love The Front Bottoms if he gave them a try.

But he was nice.

A real gentleman.

Didn’t seem to have a whole subscription of issues that meant he was too afraid to use the L Word, or talk about the future, or even really answer any questions about what he wanted out of the relationship besides sex, all while being a completely possessive asshole like Steve already had his last name and a ring on his finger.

… Not that that was pointed or anything.

Anyways.

Point was, Steve had been doing good.

And then Dustin had given him a long speech about how they were all adults (Steve refused to believe the kids were adults, they would be kids until he was in the ground and half-rotted) and the weird tension between Steve and Eddie was making it very difficult to plan events if they were always having to take into consideration Robin’s Steve’s no contact rule.

So, Steve had unblocked him. Hadn’t made any move to text him though, just had a couple of stilted phone calls while coordinating who was giving who a ride to Nancy, Jon, and Argyle’s anniversary party.

But apparently Steve’s luck had run out. Some time between getting to the club, Chrissy posting a bunch of half-blurry videos of them dancing, and Steve getting very up close and personal with some guy who had tattoos up to his neck and biceps bigger than his, the universe had decided to tempt Steve.

He’d only seen the text when he’d broken off for a bathroom break, and despite the chorus of drunk girls he knew he would have had if he’d opened his mouth and said the magical words ‘Should I call my ex?’ his fingers had already made the decision for him.

Five minutes later he was telling the girls he had a headache, and that they should keep enjoying themselves.

Robin was going to kill him.

But that was a Tomorrow Steve issue.

He was already climbing the stairs- taking them two at a time even like the desperate bastard he was- and knocking before common sense could kick in and tell him to actually go home and sleep.

He was barely pulling his fist away when the door swung open, and god.

Eddie leaned against the doorframe, stretching his arm up as he smirked at Steve. Fucking shirtless and in sweatpants like the fuckboy he swore he wasn’t, and Steve’s thoughts were just static.

Did Eddie have to be so fucking hot?

It was truly annoying, like Steve was pretty sure he’d have been able to get over the asshole if he didn’t look like that. It was a travesty about his personality though.

“Damn, baby. You get dolled up all for me?” He was looking at Steve like he was a piece of meat he couldn’t wait to dig his teeth into.

Steve rolled his eyes and shoved his way into the apartment, “Actually it was for whoever I was going to bring home from the club, but you knew that already.” He snarked, looking around the living room like he hadn’t been there to help Chrissy and Eddie move in.

The door slammed behind him, making him jump a little, and jump again when he felt hands slip under his fuzzy blue sweater.

Eddie was a line of heat against his back, his long, thick fingers trailing up his sides and over his stomach, stopping to dig into the thick of his hips.

“But you’re not with any of those guys, are you?” He was halfway growling, like he had any say in what Steve did anymore. Possessive bastard.

Steve tilted his head back, resting it against Eddie’s shoulder while he placed little kisses up and down the offered skin.

No, I’m not. He wanted to say. Or maybe I don’t want them. Or even I wouldn’t have to settle for them if you had just loved me.

He didn’t say any of those, because they were too real for what was happening and Eddie would get spooked again and Steve was already there and thinking about Eddie’s dick, so.

“There’s time for that to change.” He settled on instead, curling his lip with all the bitchiness he could muster.

He felt teeth latch onto the side of his neck briefly, Eddie biting down hard enough in those couple seconds he knew it’d be a pretty bruise come morning, “Don’t be like that,” He sounded almost pained when he said it, and Steve had to clench his jaw, “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to be.”

“God, do you ever shut up.” Steve turned in his arms and grabbed either side of Eddie’s face, pulling him into a kiss. Fuck, Steve missed kissing Eddie. Missed how soft his lips were, the curl of them like he couldn’t help the smile, the way he gentled it, slowed Steve down even when he wanted the frantic and messy, so he didn’t let himself think of it as romantic.

Steve pulled away slightly, “Bed. I gotta be in my own before Robin gets home.”

Eddie reattached their mouths, walking Steve backwards, down the hall and to his bedroom that still smelled like weed and the patchouli incense he always swore were fooling his landlord. “Don’t worry about them.” Steve felt his knees hit the side of the bed, and Eddie pulled his sweater and shirt off as he fell back onto the mattress.

“Yeah, you say that until Chris and Rob string us both up-”

“No, I mean her and Chris are heading over to Vickie and Eden’s.”

Steve paused, thumbs hooked into the waistband of his shorts, “… Did you plan this?” He kind of wanted to kick the stupid grin off of his face, and the urge only increased when he snorted.

“She texted me just before you got here, they ran into each other after you left.” Steve ignored the brief bout of disappointment in his stomach, covered it with an eye roll as he finished shoving the rest of his clothes off.

Obviously, it hadn’t been planned. He was booty called with the most obvious line in the history of texting, and he was probably just the first person desperate enough to take him up-

His thoughts were cut off by a hand grabbing his face, fingers and thumb pressing into his cheeks and pulling him into another kiss, “But I’m gunna count myself lucky I get to take my time with you now, sweetheart.”

Steve felt his chest crack a little, and he was so fucking stupid, it was such a bad idea, a colossal bad idea, he was going to make Dustin invent a time machine so he could go back and break his phone and tell him it wasn’t worth his stupid heart again.

Then Eddie was kissing him again, slow and deep and enough to scramble Steve’s thoughts because rule of thumb was Steve and Eddie were never not kissing when they were together and it was still his favorite thing in the world.

His face was released so Eddie could keep touching him, the calluses on the tips of his fingers scraping down his neck, over his chest and waist and hips until Eddie could grab a handful of his thigh and-

Fuck it, it’s fine.

#i did not reread this so you get what you get #the texts were just for funsies #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #not gunna tag the side ships bc they were barely mentioned but i stand by them #uhhh gets a little sad there for a second but they broke up and i needed a reason #and despite how much i love these two being obsessed with each other #they got issues #pyreposting

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myersesque · 16 days

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need more t4t chainshipping tbh. gimme that stealth-x-out dynamic, gimme some lawrence egg cracking, gimme lawrences who had the means to transition quietly and offer adam the same, gimme transfem4transmasc and transmasc4transmasc and transfem4transfem. i don't mind what form it takes, just gimme more trans love <3

#i have literally only ever dated trans people and baby when i tell u t4t is heaven #this goes for other ships too but i am mentioning chainshipping specifically #bc i feel like trans lawrence content is so hard to find #og #horror tag #fav #cship #saw #chainshipping #lawrence gordon #adam faulkner stanheight #t4t

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ofpd · 1 month

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Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandoms: Les Misérables - Victor Hugo, Les Misérables - All Media Types

Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire, Enjolras/Patria

Characters: Enjolras, Grantaire

Additional Tags: Canon Era, BDSM, Submissive Enjolras, Sexual Fantasy, Praise Kink, Discipline, Restraints, Orgasm Control, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Aftercare

Word Count: 8,543

Summary:

“I belong to my mistress in body and soul,” Enjolras said seriously, “but her nature is such that she is unable to directly communicate her desires to me.” Grantaire’s mind stuck on one baffling word in Enjolras’s sentence. “Your mistress?” “Patria,” Enjolras clarified, waving a dismissive hand, as if Grantaire ought to have understood implicitly. - Enjolras makes an unexpected request of Grantaire.

a gift for the wonderful @koheletgirl <3

#les mis #les miserables #exr #enjoltaire #but to be clear the real ship here is enjolras/patria #anyway i hope you enjoy this it's really normal. enjolras engages with the kinks mentioned in tags in a super typical manner definitely #also thank you to alex inmarbleimmobility for betaing!#lpdlr #<- bc i often see posts i wanna tag as this fic so i want a tag for it #my fic #maybe someday i'll use that tag again

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galaxygermdraws · 7 months

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Was. Thinkin bout my Post S8 Angst n how Zed n Skizz were just alone in the ZITS house. I. Yea I think about this a lot there's. A lot fo them

(reblogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu)

#team zits #zedaph #skizzleman #impulsesv #tangotek #i didnt put the tags in order bc imp n tango arent ACUTALLY there zed is just having a bad time in his pocket dimension #tw death mention #ask to tag #germdraws #germ draws #plz dont tag this as ship art thats not what the bottom doodle was intended to be #i just wanted to draw them trying to find comfort in each other's arms

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alleiwentcrazy · 1 year

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“Hey, Steve—”

He stops, placing his feet carefully, all too aware of the added weight strapped to his back. The ax makes him sway slightly—or maybe it’s not the ax, he thinks, turning back. Maybe it’s the weight of Eddie’s gaze crossing with his, maybe it’s the promise of something awful looming over them. Maybe it’s the stench of fear and decay, so prominent here in the world of creatures that want nothing but to destroy.

The moment feels heavy, giving them all another reason to hesitate. They look at each other for a long second, Steve’s gaze curious, Eddie’s skittish and unsure. To see Eddie Munson unsure is so rare even Dustin looks surprised. Steve feels exposed, more exposed than when he was half-naked and everyone could practically see the inside of his body. He desperately needs Robin to reassure him that he’s still there because one more look into Eddie’s eyes and he’ll lose it.

The silence between them seems to stretch into eternity, Eddie’s gaze drops, then he looks back up, and suddenly—

Suddenly Steve’s six again, roaming around the new house his parents bought not too long ago. The house is weird, Steve doesn’t like it. It’s bigger than the other one, looks fancier and Steve has already been instructed not to touch anything and to play only in his own room should he find it necessary. Entering his father’s study is strictly forbidden, so naturally, his mind is set on trying to get inside that room somehow, even if it means getting in trouble. But he has to find it first.

He passes yet another guest room when he catches something with the corner of his eye. His tiny feet carry him to the window, and then immediately outside into his brand new backyard, where in the furthest corner he finds a big, spectacularly green tree with—yes! A treehouse!

He’s so excited, finally having something just for himself in this big, empty house, where he’s not allowed to do anything but breathe and study. He’s up the ladder in no time, using as much force as he has to lift the flap and hoist himself inside.

He looks around and jumps in excitement. It’s perfect. It’s like—like magic, like he has teleported himself into another child’s room. There are stacks of colorful books in the corner, a patched-up blanket on the floor, some toys, some board games, even. Is this place real? He can’t wait to tell his mother how grateful he is for that, he’ll have to give special thanks to his father, too, because his father always says that everything he has is due to their goodwill—

Steve’s startled when he hears the ladder moving again, then he takes a step back when the flap goes flying open and a head full of dark, curly hair appears just next to his feet.

They stare each other down, the intruder’s dark eyes wide in shock, Steve’s in fear mixed with surprise. It’s a boy, probably around his age, but how did he get here?

“Are you… real?” Steve asks, not knowing what else to do.

The boy furrows his brows. “Obviously?”

They stare at each other for a second longer, then something flashes on the boy’s face and he nods to himself like he’s made up his mind. Then he clambers inside and stands in front of Steve. He’s a little bigger, dressed in clean but shabby clothes. His gaze is scrutinizing.

“Why are you here?” he asks, his tone accusatory. Steve wants to take another step back, but his feet are locked in place.

“We’ve moved in today.”

“Oh,” the boy’s face deflates, but his arms are still crossed protectively over his chest. “For good?”

“Uh. Yes?” Steve feels out of his depth. His parents told him that he shouldn’t talk to strangers, but… “Why are you here?”

“There’s a hole in the fence,” the boy shrugs, almost nonchalantly. “It’s my hang-out spot.”

Steve isn’t sure what a hang-out spot is, exactly, but he still nods. Neither of them speaks for a moment, then the boy’s arms drop to his sides and he reaches for the blanket.

“Alright, I’ll get my stuff and—”

“No!” Steve yells, clutching the other end of the blanket and trying to yank it from the boy’s hands. “I mean… We can play together here. These things are cool,” he says, his face getting hot. He’s telling the truth, the things in the treehouse are cool, but also—Steve isn’t allowed to play with other children, not the ones he’d like to play with, anyway. Only the ones his parents choose. This boy is none of those.

He takes a look around, clearly thinking about his options. Then his eyes land on Steve. He looks and he looks, and Steve feels a little like when the teachers his father hires to train him in things he doesn’t really understand ask him questions to which he has no answers.

This time, the outcome of the evaluation, as they like to call it, is positive. The boy drops the blanket.

“And you won’t tell your parents I’ve been here? Ever? You can’t tell.”

“I won’t,” Steve says earnestly, shaking his head. He won’t tell. He really won’t.

The boy looks at him for a while longer and then, seemingly out of nowhere, he smiles. His smile is wide and welcoming, so wide Steve can see the missing tooth in the back of his mouth. “Okay,” he says, simply. He’s so eager to play he immediately starts gathering toys and books. When he reaches for something lying on a high shelf, his tee rides up.

There’s a big, angry bruise on his back.

Steve wants to ask about it, but his parents told him not to pry—

“What’s your name?” he asks instead. The boy whips his head around and furrows his brows at Steve again.

“You sure you won’t tell your parents?” Steve nods. “Promise?”

“Promise,” he replies without hesitation.

“I’m Eddie,” the boy replies, sitting down on the floor and urging Steve to sit down next to him. He complies.

“I’m Steve,” he introduces himself, sitting down somewhat gingerly. The boy grins again and Steve can’t hold back his own smile any longer.

“Nice to meet you, Steve. How much do you know about elves?”

In no time, they become secret best friends. They hang out almost every day throughout the summer, and Steve learns so much about magic and fantastical worlds and creatures he can’t think of anything else. Sometimes they just sit down and draw, sometimes Eddie reads his books out loud, forcing Steve to see how cool they are—Steve’s not too good at reading himself, but he enjoys Eddie’s stories.

Eddie has a knack for making things up. One day, when Steve hoists himself inside in the worst of moods, having heard that he really is and probably will forever be no use in business from his father, Eddie just starts telling him a story Steve’s sure he’s never heard before. Then, next time, Eddie is in the worst of moods, fresh circular marks burned onto his arms, so Steve takes his poster paints and decorates the skin around them to make them prettier—which, sure, not the smartest idea, but it works, Eddie’s laughing, all okay.

When school starts, they keep it a secret. They pretend that they don’t know each other in the corridors, giggling between themselves when no one is around. They still meet up afterward, even in winter—then summer comes and everything’s great again. Steve has a best friend, and they play together and they share secrets together, and his parents can’t do anything about it, because they don’t know.

Steve has a best friend. Until said best friend disappears suddenly during the school year. Without a word. Steve has heard something about his parents, his father, but he’s not allowed to ask questions—he promised not to tell, didn’t he?

He doesn’t ask, but he still hopes. Every day, he climbs up that ladder and waits, waits so long, until the memory of Eddie’s voice gets blurred and distorted, and his smell no longer lingers on the things he left in their treehouse.

Steve gets to see him again when he’s in middle school, freshly moved to Hawkins, not expecting to meet anyone he knows here in the middle of nowhere, Indiana. He’s so surprised on the first day of school—their new house has no treehouse in the backyard, but Eddie is here. It must be Eddie. His hair is buzzed and he looks like he’s had enough of life, but it’s him.

Only, he doesn’t seem to care that it’s Steve. Maybe he doesn’t recognize him? But he does. When their paths cross in the corridor, he stops so suddenly, his eyes go big, just like they did in that treehouse for the first time. He’s just about to smile when Tommy, Steve’s new classmate, appears around the corner, calling out for him, and Eddie’s face turns to steel. Steve remembers his accusatory glare. It’s there.

Eddie turns heel and runs. Steve tries to talk to him again, but it doesn’t work. Tommy hangs around him like a vulture, scaring Eddie away—and besides, is it really Steve’s job to talk to him? He’s not the only one that’s confused, hurt, even.

Oh, it hurts like hell. It was never supposed to happen.

Steve spends a few nights crying over that. Then comes high school, people start calling him King Steve and Eddie looks at him with such disgust it makes Steve want to take a shower whenever their eyes lock in class. Steve’s senior year is torture because he shares it with Eddie, who clearly hates him so much he’d spit on him if he had a chance. Even after Steve’s fall from grace, Eddie doesn’t stop looking at him with anger burning in his eyes.

And he’s almost always looking, while Steve misses him like crazy.

Eddie kinda makes him think that he’s completely unlikeable. That he’s broken and can’t be fixed, can’t befriend anyone—until Robin.

Oh, Robin. Amazing, caring, beautiful, smart, snarky Robin. The relationship he builds with her quickly becomes the most important one in his life. She’s as much a part of him as his hand or heart is. Steve’s not a poet, but he’s sure, really sure that she’s the one thing he didn’t know that was missing in his life—like a part of his soul was wandering somewhere around the universe, lost and unable to come back without help.

What he has with Robin is unique, complete and incomparable. No one understands him the way she does, no one loves him the way she does. Among others, these are the things that make their friendship so unlike any other relationship Steve’s had. Robin isn’t just his friend. Robin is something entirely different, something Steve can’t, for the life of him, put into words.

On rare occasions, though, thinking about her does bring up memories of Eddie. Was it similar with him? No, it wasn’t. But then what was it, exactly?

Steve’s quite successful in pushing those moments away. He is, even when the kids join Eddie’s little nerd club. He is, even when the manhunt starts.

It’s the piece of shattered bottle pressed to his neck that makes him lose it. It’s Eddie’s misery, fear, and the real, tangible danger he’s in. The words he says to Steve along the way (you'd have let me die if Nancy hadn't jumped?). It’s the fact that they still don’t talk, not about things that matter, even though they suddenly have to coexist in a world that wants them destroyed and they have to do everything in their power to stop it. Together.

It’s the fact that Eddie may not make it. Even if they get out of the Vecna situation, will they be able to save Eddie from the people that see him as some kind of evil sent by the heavens to decimate them?

Steve’s worried, so worried. He’s worried about the kids—hell, Max is his top priority. But at the same time, other thoughts float in the back of his mind and he can’t seem to shake them off.

He can’t keep them all safe. Someone has to risk everything, they just don’t know who, exactly. For that, Steve hopes it won’t have to be Eddie. Leaving things unsaid… It will kill him too, eventually.

Steve hopes it won’t have to be Eddie. He hopes. He hopes and hopes, and—

Eddie’s gaze is on him again. Not skittish. Still scared, still unsure, but set, at the same time.

“Make him pay,” he says, a sense of finality overpowering his words.

Steve can’t believe it. He wants to scream, he wants to shake Eddie’s shoulders until he sees some sense. That’s not what you wanted to say! That’s not how it ends! That’s not how we part before possible disaster!

And he’s angry, he’s sad, it hurts like hell, because—what if Eddie doesn't care about him at all? Has he ever cared? Is he supposed to care for both of them? What’s he supposed to do now? Go up there, slap him, yell at him, hold him?

Steve doesn’t know where that last thought comes from. It’s certainly not something he should do at any point.

The eyes of Nancy, Dustin and Robin drill holes into his skull. He’s waiting for too long, hoping that maybe it’ll resolve itself.

Only it won’t. Eddie won’t say anything else. Steve won’t run up there and hold him. Instead, he nods. Eddie nods back, sealing the deal. Steve holds his gaze a little longer – their last chance.

It goes unnoticed. His team sets out and for the sake of them both, Steve is going to hold on to the hope of seeing another day.

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