#table news

[thatonelesbianfander]

Why is every single indie series with only one main actor that I’ve ever seen on TikTok and YouTube better and more entertaining to me than literally most professionally produced TV shows?-

#thatonelesbianfander #sanders sides #the sandwich family #cafae latte #welcome to the table #the table #table news #bistro huddy #thomas sanders #ben brainard

[headspacedad]

Table News: God Save the... Oh...

#youtube #table news #ben brainard #sound on #US got priorities #kinda

[pangur-and-grim]

I'm turning 30 this month, and for some reason have become suddenly interested in material possessions. like what if,,,,,,,,my couch was nice. what if my sheets were nice. is this what happens to you??

#this bougie furniture store was having an extreme New Years sale #and it sent me out of my mind #like......wait......I could have that?? I could have NICE coffee table and NICE chair??? really? #a good chunk of my savings mysteriously disappeared shortly after.

[carlyraejepsans]

*walks out of a character's main tag covered in blood*

#*slaps three or four precious pieces of new fanart onto the table for my beautiful hungry children*

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck #good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen #im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3 #writeblr #the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this'' #and like also #''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist #i was <3 punctured <3 during mine #and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion'' #so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3 #she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh #ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance #i'd crash on the table #like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it #and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop! #and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just #woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes #she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room #from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing #and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying #and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap #with this terrible memory #i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like #that was too many liters #and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home #i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after #that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty #you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it #while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED #and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.

[queenboimler]

#dimension 20 #critical role #the adventure zone #d&d #mine personally was TAZ: Balance #and it consumed my life #also reblog!! esp if you put other im so curious #/ i want to find new d&d stuff to watch/listen to!! #ive only played irl a few times bc it is SO HARD to get a group of busy adults on the same schedule #my real pipeline to dnd was: tumblr gifs of mcelroy tv show->mcelroy tv show->mbmbam->taz balancs #so really tumblr was what led me to my path of d&d #i didnt really discover d&d until i was an adult bc table top games and other board games were banned in my home growing up #my brother and i came to blows constantly over the lord of the rings edition of risk that my mom just said NO MORE

[mikeluciraphgabe]

Superman: That is a child *pointing to feral and angry Robin!Dick with wide eyes*

Bruce, tired: ya, and?

Superman: Y-you can let a child fight crime Batman. Come on now.

Bruce, shot gunning a Red Bull: if you think you can talk him out of it, go right ahead

#listen y’all #Bruce doesn’t want his kids fighting crime #in fact #if ANY of them went ‘I’m becoming a civilian’ that would be his new fav #he’d be on the table throwing it back in joy #Batman #Bruce Wayne #Clark kent #Superman #dick Grayson #Robin #batman and robin #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #Tim Drake #cassandra cain

[rlyehtaxidermist]

incidentally i would get the alchemists to respect me because I know how to synthesise mauveine. and they would absolutely not care that i am a quadruple scorpio who disrespects the great work and has stolen their secrets because oh three dicked elf jesus we will all be so fucking rich if the local equivalent of the byzantine aristocracy doesn't have us all executed for purple crimes

#[kicking open the door of the alchemy guild] bad news guys the philosopher's stone is named fast neutrons and will kill all of us. #[slams flask on the table] the good news is that i have coal tar.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Hello Walten Files Fandom, long time no see

#the walten files #twf #twf spoilers #the FUCK do I tag this guy as he has the same name as the other Bon #I guess just. #TWF bon #eye contact tw #face horror #shmorps art #just kinda. putting this on the table then running back into my TMC fixation #I don't even really know how to react to that new episode man it was so. MUCH /LH #So much information to take in at once-

[gomzdrawfr]

small habits

#something about filling in the silence #personally I am (unfortunately) one of those people who doesnt realize they're tapping their finger on the table when im in the zone focusi #i try not to do it now ever since it was pointed out #instead i just tap something softer like my pencil box LOL #modern problem requires modern solution #anyways you may notice im also trying a new signature here #i hate it #so im doing another one when i can #gummmyart #doodle #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soapghost #ghostsoap

[bigfatbreak]

THEY CAN TAKE HER IN FOR SURGERY!! AAAAAA

#actually literally sobbing right now #we might still lose her on the operating table but #we get to TRY to save her #sorry i havent gotten back to anyone today ive been waiting for the bad news #and instead i get a little bit of hope that we can save her #when the vet said she has to get her in for surgery ASAP i almost dropped my phone bc I thought. I really thought. we might just #not be able to save her at all #but the fact that we get to try... man!! im crying my eyes out

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I imagine barnaby trying to be all cool and flirting with howyd subtly but his smoke gives him away fjsns

he thinks he's smooth smh...

#cracking up thinking about this ngl #like howdy continues on with work #and whoever's at the table with barn - lets say uhhhh idk julie #is like 'awww your smoke turns pink when you talk to him' #and barn just freezes a la 'excusemeitfuckingWHAT' #aaaand Slam that panic button #bbg didnt know.... #rambles from the bog #wh fantasy au #anyway i think ill never draw a better howdy #i squandered my Him points on an au scribble- AN AU SCRIBBLE #ive peaked ill never get any better! #< lie. there's always room for improvement and reaching new heights #on the flip side i had such a rough time with barn #its always an exchange - i can either draw a good howdy or a good barn Never both smh #still though idk How this came out as good as it has i have not drawn in days #nary a line nor doodle to be found... #but covid is wearing off and babey i am BACK! #slowly. it beat me up pretty good ngl #it took me tf out im gonna be extra tired for a while... #but since my congestion has cleared up and im not Hacking and Sniffling anymore #stream soon probably! Normal Stream To Get Back In The Swing Of Things #it feels like ive been sick for a thousand years but i think its been like #three days??? i really dont know... #i hope everyone is doing well and Not getting covid. wear your mask #i wore mine but my stepdad didnt and Look What Fuckin Happened

[headspacedad]

Table News: Waffle House Index

#youtube #sound on #ben brainard #table news #boy run! #and Florida never came back

[oyster-mash]

He thinks he’s so smooth

#my art #reigen #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #seriwawa <3 #serirei #id flip the table with him on it #mob psycho #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen is just too extra jdbshsbsjs #love redrawing goofy images #my new hyperfixation

[becca-e-barnes]

Sub Bucky and a breeding kink 💀 dead unlived it's one of my favourite things 😌

This is pretty high up there on my list of dream fantasies 🥵 these are two of my biggest weaknesses, don't even look at me rn

One of life's greatest joys is cuddling with the other person's head resting on your chest so you can play with their hair and rub their shoulders. I love that shit, having someone else's body weight on you is so comforting.

I imagine that's something Bucky would really enjoy too. It's so soft and sweet and tender and getting to feel cared for would really appeal to him.

But that's up until his hands work their way under your top, up over your bare skin so he's able to cup your breasts and bury his face between them while he's getting his hair played with. Life's pleasures don't get much simpler than that.

After a few moments he shifts slightly, tugging the neckline of your shirt out of the way to give himself space to kiss and nip your skin. All of a sudden he's desperate and it's beautiful to watch.

"Please." He whispers between frantic kisses, flicking his tongue over the stiff peak of your nipple before engulfing it with his warm, eager mouth.

"Please, what?" You tease, tugging on his hair just a little for emphasis.

He groans, frustrated by his own lack of coherence, pulling his mouth from your nipple. "Please let me put a baby in you."

That's not what you were expecting but fuck, he makes it sound pretty appealing.

"Bucky-" You begin but he cuts you off, giving your other nipple the same attention as he gave the first. God, that's distracting.

"You'd make. Such. A pretty. Mommy." He whispers, kissing his way down your body until he reaches the bottom seam of your top. From there, he pulls it off, letting it fall to the floor before removing the rest of your clothes.

"You'd look so pretty with a little baby bump." His huge hand rests on your bare tummy, imaging how your body would change.

"I want it, Buck." You mean it too. It doesn't sound like such a bad idea when he's taking his clothes off.

"I know you want it." He groans, rubbing the tip of his dick against your soaked core. "Y-you're so wet."

He presses his hips forward, sliding inside you and you can't explain it but you swear it feels different this time.

"Don't even think about pulling out." You cup his face in your hands, keeping his eyes on you and you almost worry he's going to fuck himself senseless into you. "I want you to make me a mommy. You're going to give me every single drop of cum and when it starts to drip out of me, you're going to fuck it back in."

His head falls onto your shoulder, sobbing a pathetic moan against your already hot skin. The pace of his thrusts matches his need, his hips slamming into yours and when he finally gives in, he cums inside you with your legs clamped around his waist, making sure he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.

#asks answered <3 #becca writes spice #anon #sub!bucky #subby bucky #this is one of those fantasies that's nice in my head #I think I'd like to be at that point in my life but it's absolutely not where I'm at rn #maybe some day tho #I started writing a new series yesterday #making a lil moodboard #excited to post the concept #can't decide if I want each chapter to feel like a continuation of the one before #or if I want the chapters to be more detached from each other with time passing in between #might actually space it out over a weekend? #I took my lil granny out for lunch today and she's just the cutest #she usually comes up to ours for Sunday lunch but my parents were out this weekend #so I made her dinner last night and took it down to her and I asked if she wanted to go out for Sunday lunch for a change #she made me book the table right there in front of her so she'd be able to look forward to it 🥺 #I sat with her for over an hour yesterday evening and she smiled nearly the whole time #she's too cute I swear

[sensitiveheartless]

Ok, so Muppet AU! Every ability user in canon is a muppet, except for Dazai, who nullifies both abilities and the physical state of being a muppet!

Now that that’s established:

Bram is already kind of a muppet, right?

(Whenever Bram spreads the vampirism, the newly infected muppet just gains a pair of glued-in fangs)

Corruption is just muppet-Chuuya on a string, being swung wildly about like the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Imagine you are a muppet for as long as you can remember, and then one weird human pokes you, and suddenly you are also human for the first time alsksjdjf

Oh and the best part of this AU is Ranpo!!! Because if Fukuzawa convinced Ranpo that he had an ability when he was fifteen, then that means that Fukuzawa simultaneously had to convince a human boy that he was a muppet.

And Ranpo believes this for years.

Ranpo, a human man: “Haha, I have the best ability in the agency! >:D”

Atsushi, a tiger-muppet who has just learned how all this works:

#this is how my brain copes with being cooped up apparently #I cannot properly express just how much the Ranpo bit has been making me crack up it makes me so happy #also holy shit dazai and fyodor’s dynamic is so funny too #breaking news: man has extremely antagonistic relationship with a muppet bent on destroying all muppets #the fuckingg— the alleyway scene. oh my gosh. DEAD APPLE #Dazai sitting at a table with TWO MUPPETS who then proceed to STAB HIM #Dazai having a normal one dkdjfjfjf #don’t mind me I’m losing it #bsd muppet au #bsd #my art #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs #bsd bram #bsd fukuchi