before reading the novel, if someone gave me a selection of lines from zhao yunlan talking about shen wei and asked me to say who says it, i’d say shen wei. it’s unbelievable how obsessed zhao yunlan is. and tbh, relatable! at least shen wei has been in the know about it since the beginning, always keeping track of his feelings and of kunlun’s lives, but kunlun has spent 5000 reincarnating and constantly feeling incomplete for reasons that he can never pinpoint, finally he gets the missing piece, i would be obsessed too!
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Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intend to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.
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y'all have heard of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. now get ready for
demon, dorkface, and dudebro
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Really fucked up that, when they’re young, Patrick and Art are SO tactile with each other, so comfortable sharing the same space. Art lets Patrick touch him and move him and physically overwhelm him and easily acquiesces to it, if not outright enjoys it.
Then in the present, they’ve been so far out of each other’s orbit for so long, held such animosity that when they have their moment alone in the sauna, Art physically recoils from Patrick’s close proximity! It’s so painful to watch because even as Patrick’s goading him, it’s so obvious he wants to be able to get back into Art’s space. But Art has erected all these walls around himself, he refuses to give Patrick an inch or even admit to missing how close they used to be!
AND THEN we see Art and Tashi later and he wants her to hold him, to be gentle with him, and just TOUCH him. Like, he does miss that kind of close physical contact! He either doesn’t know how to ask for it or is uncomfortable being that openly vulnerable. Worth noting that he pretty much always defers to Tashi in regard to initiating physical intimacy (with their first kiss, though he does state his desire, SHE has to be the one to make the first move). And it seems pretty obvious that Tashi herself isn’t comfortable providing that intimacy, whereas Patrick actively seeks to provide it (the hug/forehead kiss after their win together in the early years, dragging the stool closer to him).
Art has tried very hard to act like he doesn’t need physical affection and even though his discipline and devotion to Tashi has made him a stronger tennis player, it’s made him a hollow person, which, in turn, has kept him from becoming a GREAT tennis player.
All of this, of course, is why the ending hits so damn hard.
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I think I would like the bunker more as a concept if they were squatters rather than legacies, you know? Like the the like inherited secret society birthright thing doesn't do it for me but two crunchy regular dudes who find an abandoned secret society hide out and go Aw Shit Free House? THAT I'm into.
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Running two hours a day, ballet, and under 1500 calories got me this body
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forever thinking about how long (little) ten lived after he was separated from rose permanently. it's so beautifully tragic, poetic, really. here's this alien who literally died to save a girl he loved because she loved him enough to save him from certain death at the risk of her (one) life. he was born from an act of love for her, was shaped into this being made specifically for her and he loses her and loses himself once he does. she comes back though and still he lets her go because there is nothing he wouldn't do to make her happy and giving her a future with a version of himself where they can grow old together will do exactly that but without rose, this person who is so intrinsically connected with this specific incarnation, the doctor sort of drifts and eventually his death approaches all too fast. he has lived for hundreds of years but this face has only lived a little under a decade but then that specific face comes back, lives later, and this time, it's for the other most important person during that incarnation, donna noble, and again, he will die all too soon and likely for her.
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First the wedding, then the honeymoon. Of course, it makes sense. Isami would have cut his hair for the event as it was special and he’d love to show off his best.
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