#stupid so imagine the parents were 30-40 when he was born and give him like . an age of 25) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

everlarkbirthdaygifts · 3 years

Text

Happy Birthday, jbsaucy!

Happy belated Birthday, @jbsaucy! We hope you had a wonderful day back on the 16th, and that you celebrated in style! To bring your party back around, the lovely @mega-aulover has written a story just for you!

For this year, I am recently divorced and trying to get the nerve up to get out there. So I would like to request a 30/40s Everlark, post divorced meeting

Jbsaucy

Dear Jbsaucy I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I apologize for the lateness, and I hope you had a wonderful day. This prompt BTW was amazing and I had a great time writing it. It was a blast. Thank you to Norbertsmom for Betaing

Rated T

Title: OFF THE MARKET

-kpkpkpkp-

Divorce sucks. SUCKS.

Getting divorced sucks, being divorced sucked.

But nothing, not the tedious nature of dividing unwanted movies, the fear of root canals, or getting a speeding ticket, compared to dating. Dating, ladies and gentlemen, after being married for ten years sucked royally.

ROYALLY!

After my divorce, my attorney suggested I get a hobby or join a club. I really wasn’t a social person. Not much of a talker, and avoided any and all spotlights. It was this fear of the spotlight that originally brought me in contact to my now ex-husband, Darius.

My best friend Gale pushed me to do one of those karaoke nights. I panicked and ran straight into Darius. He thought I was cute, and I was grateful he went up with me to the karaoke microphone. He sang and I laughed. The rest is history; the marriage only lasted ten years. But I knew we weren’t right for one another, partially because Darius was a very sexual person, for me sex wasn’t important. I got more enjoyment out of getting my teeth cleaned. He found someone who revved his engine and I got the fica and dates.

Yup Dates.

How did that happen you ask?

Well, I’ll tell you I followed my divorce attorney’s suggestion. Preface-OUTSIDE OF A COURTROOM NEVER EVER FOLLOW YOUR DIVORCE ATTORNEY’S ADVICE.

With that warning sign, I digress. Taking a deep breath, I pinch the bridge of my nose. Wait for it... I joined a book club.

It was the only natural course of action. After our divorce I got all of the books. You see one of the things Darius and I loved to do was go to bookstores. We’d buy all of these books with the intention of reading them, and we never did. We had bookshelves filled with books from the 100 Must-Read Classic Books by Penguin. So after my divorce, I sat in my newly minted apartment with a box of wine and all of these books.

I was looking at the boxes, my divorce papers jutting out. Amongst them there was a note - with the name of a book club, the real 451 book club, with an address. I called them the Squad 451 or the Squad. The women were a hodgepodge of personalities; the right blend of sweet and crazy. There is Mags, the motherly type. She has boatloads of grandchildren. Then there is her neighbor Greasy Sae who runs a diner in town. I used to go to her diner as a kid and consume her mystery meat soups. The older woman is bawdy and half of the things she says makes me blush redder than a red bean. Next is Annie, a shy, slightly mad girl who is a librarian. Delly has the personality of the southern bell who wears pink and believes in romance. I’ve known of Delly forever; she and I went to the same high school.

Foxface, has one of those names with multiple consonants and vowels but prefers to go by Foxy or Foxface. She is freakishly smart and sometimes, I think she has blackmarket dealings because she’s so secretive. Then there is Effie, the middle aged, tightly wound woman whose book choices are as repressed as she is, like Jane Eyre. And last, but not least, is my divorce lawyer, yes the very same one who suggested I get a hobby, Johanna Mason who is, well, a sex fiend.

I started meeting up with them, and six months after my divorce, that’s when the ladies conspired against me and set up my profile on one of those dating websites looking for men, for me. I had no idea, and on my birthday, they presented me with their “gift.”

It was the gift you didn’t want, like a pimple on your wedding day or the runs before an important interview, or bad breath before a first kiss.

Greasy said that if I didn’t use my, well, feminine - looks around - petals. That they’ll dry up and turn into ugly petunias. I announced sex wasn’t important, and even friged Effie said a lady needed to literally, figuratively, and metaphorically, occassionally let her hair down.

I said NO.

I demanded.

I scowled.

Nothing helped.

They created a profile based upon themselves, and yet through describing themselves they pegged me. I was nurturing. I had a sexy edge. I was introverted, and yet mysterious. I was smart, honest, loyal and a closet romantic. But if you tell anyone that, I’ll hunt you down, even after I’m dead.

They split me up like a kid of divorced parents being schlepped from one house to the other. They set themselves up in teams and each team got to pick my dates. And everytime we met for a book club meeting, I was to dutifully report on the date. Based upon their success, a second date would be permitted.

It was a simple proposition.

I was naive. A stupid idiot, or as Bugs Bunny say’s, a maroon.

Because I hadn’t really ever been out there.

To be honest, I met Darius right out of high school, at my first college party, and we were married - okay it wasn’t a big wedding. It really wasn’t a wedding at all. It was a spur of the moment, we got drunk and ended up at one of those Elvis chapel impersonators. Annnnd bada-bing.

I never really dated, so I agreed with the book club’s plan, because how hard could dating be?

And thus began my nightmare.

I must state, or emphatically note, not all of my “dates,” were catastrophically bad. To be fair, most of the time I wasn’t interested. Delly said I wasn’t romantically pulled. Johnna said my engine wasn’t revved up. Greasy said if the man didn’t make me want to orgasam with a look, then he wasn’t worth my time. I posed this question to the universe: How in blazing blue inferno does a man make a woman...well you know, with a look? Was that even possible?

A hazy yellow fuzz enters my head and my mind wanders. I conjure up blue eyes and translucent lashes that never tangle.

Sigh.

…. (my brain just short circuited at the thought of large hands)

Earth to Katniss.

Okay sorry, I spaced out for a little bit, and their words spurred me on to continue my journey. And one year after my divorcce I had stories, no I have battle scars. To prove my point, the following are my top three worst dates. In no particular order.

Date Disaster # 1 was with an artsy type at a chique Italian restaurant. He arrived late, and was drunk, high, or both. Then fell asleep on his plate of bolognese. Yup, in his plate of spaghetti and meat sauce. I paid for my half, tucked my tail between my legs and left.

Date Disaster #2 was with a small man with glasses and a massive intellect who didn’t stop talking about flamingos. FLAMING PINK FLAMINGOS. My brain shut down. I didn’t hear the music in the jazz themed restaurant. I didn’t even taste the heat in the gumbo. The only factoid I remembered when we said goodnight was that flamingos were gray when they were born. I couldn’t even tell you how they became pink. The man was the human form of anesthesia for my soul.

Date Disaster #3 was a nice man. We laughed. And everything was going well. We ordered drinks, a cranberry and soda for me, the bartender special for him while we waited for our table. Turns out he has a milk allergy and the bartender special had milk. When we sat down at the table and we were talking about our hobbies, his stomach began to grumble loudly. He became pasty and then as the waiter brought out our appetizers, he threw up all over the place. It was a good thing that throwing up didn't bother me, but it bothered our waiter who gagged. Needless to say, I burned the outfit I was wearing.

Those were the top three...but there were more, just simmering to become the top one. And for a time I thought I wasn’t made to date. But the ladies had faith and they were really trying to choose nice, interesting guys. However, nothing, nothing that I could ever imagine could top my latest date.

I’m rushing along the sidewalk. I don’t want to be late, but at the same time, I don’t want to tell them how much of a calamity my latest date was, but to be completely honest, I don’t want to miss it. Tonight is also the night the group meets at Mellark’s. The friendly cafe style bakery with its rich and yummy pastries, both savory and sweet. It is my favorite place to meet. Squad 451 meets twice a month in different locations, including one of the two meeting rooms in the library, one of the community rooms in the Justice Building, and on our birthdays, we meet in a restaurant, but the bakery on Main Street is our favorite location. The Mellarks owned several locations. The flagship store was always managed by one of the original family members.

If George Senior, or the middle son Ryan Mellark is at the helm of the bakery, they allow us to cavort in the shop until close. When his older brother George Junior or their Mother Muriel was in charge, we tended to be quiet, relegating our conversations to the books. When Peeta is in charge, there are free cheese buns and chaos.

Please, stomach gods, let Peeta be there. I skipped lunch today because I had a deadline. I also forgot my wallet at home. Thankfully, my license was at the bottom of my backpack. I need food before my stomach eats itself. I am starving when I walk into the bakery. When I see Peeta, I stop. His blue eyes meet mine and my stomach flip flops. He gives me a slow sweet smile, before his eyes slide back to the customer who is ordering.

“Katniss,” Delly squeaks, waving frantically.

Somehow, my feet carry me over to the table and there is a plate of cheese buns and I thank every celestial being in the universe. His buns are heavenly. Sitting down, I take a napkin and snatch one. My mouth waters and my lashes close as I bring the cheese bun to my mouth. The smell of melted cheese, fresh bread, and the hint of dill, assuage my nose, before I bite into one of Peeta’s coveted flaky concoctions. The combination of the oozing cheese, the herbs and the buttery bread elicit a moan from deep within my being. These freaking cheese buns will be the death of me.

“Wow.” Peeta’s voice causes my lashes to fly open.

Peeta is standing near me with a cup of tea; his face and neck splotchy and red.

My mouth is full of delicious food, but I forgot how to chew.

Delly is looking between us. Her pale blue eyes quizzical, like when she’s trying to understand a concept or theme in a book.

“Okay, bitches,” Johanna says, slamming her brief down. “Where’s the rest of the motley crew?”

“Mags and Greasy just arrived,” Delly answers absentmindedly.

“Hey, Peeta, I need a strong black coffee.”

“Sure,” Peeta says, all the while staring at me. I finally remember to chew. “Here Katniss, your tea.”

Taking the paper cup, I can’t help feeling bashful. “Thank you.”

“Peet,” the girl behind the counter calls.

Whenever Peeta is here, the business is brisk. He is charming. He was always charming, even back in high school he was the most popular guy, not only because of his looks, but because he was genuinely nice. I, like all of the other girls, had a mini crush on him.

Looking over his shoulder he says, “I’ll be right back with your coffee, Jo.”

Now Jo is looking between him and me, but hers is a wicked grin, like right before she nails a sleazebag who doesn’t want to pay for his children. I quirk an eyebrow, clueless as to what has Johanna showing off her predatory gleam.

“Oh, it’s chilly outside,” Mags says.

“It’s colder than Rudolph’s balls outside,” Greasy says, her gruff voice is booming. Several patrons look at her. Greasy does not care. She’s well past her sixties and it’s her motto that she should live each day as if it was her last.

In walks Effie, Annie, and Foxface, and they all say, “Hello,” in unison.

The book of the month is actually a YA fiction called, The Fault in Our Stars, about teens with a terminal illness. I cried when Gus...I tear up once more...at the memory. But I know we aren’t going to discuss Hazel’s predicament with her parents.

“So,” Delly says, bouncing in her chair.

I can’t help but grimace.

“How did it go?” Foxface says. She has an accent, but I can’t place it.

“He looked like he belonged on one of those erotic books Johanna loves to read,” Greasy says, grabbing a cheese bun.

She’s not wrong. Gloss was a blond adonis, with slate blue eyes. And abs that have a flipping twelve pack, I ought to know, I counted them. The words are out of my mouth before I am aware of what I am saying. “He really does with a twelve pack,” I say drinking my tea.

“Did you say twelve pack?” Johanna sat up.

My eyes widen.

“Wait, why are you blushing Katniss?” Foxface narrows her eyes.

“Did you and he…” Annie trails off. Her doe eyes are wide.

“Did you have your first sleepover?” Effie leaned in.

“Or did you dry hump him like a horny-toad dog?” Greasy’s voice bounces in the bakery.

Peeta’s pauses , wiping down the counter and looks directly at me.

“NO!” My voice sounds half strangled.

Jo and Delly exchange a look. “Peeta,” Delly calls him over.

Oh, no, no, no, I say to myself, eyeing how quickly I can get from the back corner to the exit. It is one thing to tell the squad, it is another to have Peeta know. I think I can sprint around the chairs and clear the table near the door like an olympic hurdle jumper.

Peet walks over. “Hey Dells, can I get you ladies anything?”

“Katniss was going to regale us with her latest date,” Delly says.

“She’s going to tell us how she knows her date has Thor’s body.”

“You’re dating?” Peeta asks, looking at me intently.

He doesn’t know I am dating or rather, being raked through hot coals.

“Oh,” Foxface chortles. “She’s dating.”

“Remember the guy who was texting with his mother during the entire date,” Effie said.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Mags saids grinning.

“Only the part when he had Katniss talk to her, and it turned out she was psychoanalyzing her to make sure she wasn’t an ax murderer,” Annie said laughing.

“Or what about the guy who kept on mentioning his ex and cried through the crème brûlée,” Greasy slaps her knee, laughing.

I can’t help but laugh.

“Man, those are pretty bad,” Peeta says.

I hold up my finger. “No, those are tame.”

“Tame?” His blue eyes are sparkling. “You mean there are worse dates?”

Delly snorts. “Oh there are worse. I am so glad I am out of the dating pool.”

“Yeah, Gale just loves you,” Annie sighs.

Delly and Gale met when I joined the book club. And while I floundered, they fell in love and now Delly was pregnant.

My eyes shift to Annie. “It’s so much easier when you fall in love.”

“Oh?” I say.

“I met someone,” Annie says softly. “He wants to meet all of us.”

I wonder what type of guy would date quiet, shy, introverted Annie who sometimes says things that remind me of that song from those Freddy movies from the 80’s. I shake my head. Then I narrow my eyes. “Bring him to the next session,” I hear myself say. I want to meet this man, and make sure he will take care of my friend.

“Really.” Annie clasps her hands.

I nod, but I notice Peeta is looking at me with this strange gleam in his eyes. “Ah...yeah.” My voice sounds breathy. I frown, wondering why the heck I sound like one of those girls. You know the ones that always appear in the music videos washing cars and dancing on super yachts. Darius was fascinated by those girls, heck, his new girlfriend looks like one of those girls.

The women are chatting with Annie about the new guy in her life.

“We'll discuss Annie’s beau later,” Mags holds her hand in the air. “I want to hear about Katniss’ date.” Her white hair spills over her shoulder as she fixes me with a look. “So tell us, how do you know Thor has a twelve pack?”

Somehow or another I knew the scrutiny on Annie would be short lived. My time to shine would come, but when I open my mouth to speak I can see a conspiratorial glance between Mags and Annie. And it hits me that they chose this man, because he looked like Thor. I scowl at the women who set me up on this one. Mags and Annie both have a pink tinge to their faces. I would have expected this from Jo or Greasy, but Mags and Annie, well it’s INCONCEIVABLE!

I begin to speak. “He asked me to meet him at the edge of town, near route twelve.”

“Isn't that where Ripper’s place is?” Effie questioned, and she couldn’t hide her revulsion.

“Yup,” I said, popping the ‘P’, thinking of the bar that disguised itself as an eatery. It was a seedy diner with cracked linoleum floors, yellowing formica, booths that had patches, blinking lights, and rickety chairs.

“That’s where he asked you to meet him?” Mag’s sounds outraged. “That place is…is-”

“- a bedhaven for unsavory characters,” Foxface finishes.

“You're brainless,” Jo mutters darkly. "Ripper's isn't the type of place you can go to Katniss. You should have called me."

As protective as I am about my friends, so is Jo. She's tough on the outside but has a really soft center. It's what makes her a perfect shark in the courtroom. Not that Darius was a jerk during our divorce. He actually wasn't. Johanna was present at the restaurant where he announced he wanted a divorce. Johanna later said it was my face, the vulnerability I tried to hide was why she took my divorce pro-bono.

“I drove and brought my bottle of mace.” I know what everyone was thinking. The area in town where Ripper’s is located at, made the bad side of town look like a tourist destination. I didn't mind meeting my date there. I was looking forward to a basket of fries. Ripper's had amazing beer-battered fries.

I've been to Ripper's once. I was with Gale and Thom who needed to score fake IDs. I ordered the fries, since I wasn't there for an ill gotten identification. But let me tell you, those fries. Oh! Holy mother of fries, no other fries can compare.

Shivers!

I love food; it's why I'm a food critic now. What's so funny is that it was those fries that began my career as Buttercup, the elusive food critic. Back then I was Buttercup, the fussy eater. I blogged about them, no, I lavished them with love. I love my job. I can go into any restaurant, order anything on the menu, blog about it and get paid handsomely. And, most importantly, I can do it anonymously. Not even Darius knew I was Buttercup. He thought I was a boring housewife. Getting back to the fries, I wasn’t deterred from getting my fries.

“So then what happened?” Annie asked.

“He was there waiting for me. He stood up and smiled. And he's massive-"

"Just like a book cover," Foxface mutters.

"He said his name wasn't Anthony, it’s Gloss.”

“Gloss?” Everyone said at the same time.

“Yup.” I sighed. “It was a sign. I should've left." Damn those fries!

“So Gloss…" Peeta's sparkling eyes are on mine, his are an amazing hue of blue, like the indigo milk cap mushrooms. "Looks like Thor." He frowns. "Thor with the long hair or short?"

"Long." The women around me answered as one.

Peeta turned those gorgeous eyes back to me.

Thor isn’t my cup of tea. I shrugged to show my indifference. "Gloss was sporting the Ragnarok look, short hair with facial hair."

I swear I watch Peeta mouth, "short hair."

"Anyway, we sat at a booth. It was packed, actually." That should've been clue number two. Men at a joint like Ripper's at 8:30 on a Friday night, it was by the highway, plausible. But packed with just as many women. "The waitress who took our drink order could barely hear me."

"Was he nice?" Annie asks.

"He was sweet." Truthfully Gloss was a sweet guy. He talked about his mother in a positive way, even if she gave him the name that was another descriptor for shiny objects. "He was attentive too. He told me his mother worked in the makeup industry. "

"That doesn't sound too awful," Delly says.

"He sounds delightful." Mags pushes her reading glasses up the bridge of her nose. The gang is getting tired of the story and I hope they will move on to the reason we are gathered, discussing the book we were reading. I begin to reach into my backpack because I really hate purses.

"If he's so delightful, why did he ask you to meet him at Ripper's?" Johanna says in her cross examination voice.

I wince as I take out my book.

"Yes, you must explain." Foxface demands.

"It's not nice to leave us dangling." Effie levels a look at me that has me squirming, feeling like I was being summoned into the principal's office.

"I wanna know how you know Gloss has a twelve pack," Greasy says.

Peeta looks at me expectantly.

Anndddd were back. I sigh. Will he run for the hills when I tell him? Most likely.

"We were talking about dancing.” My voice loses all it’s warmth. “I don't dance."

This causes a rumble of laughter and giggles amongst the women. Peeta looks confused. Finally Delly wipes the tears from her face and gasps, “You should never dance. Ever!”

"That poor man’s toes,” Mags says, her shoulders shaking.

“Do I need to know?” Peeta looks between them.

“I don’t dance!” I growl. The group erupts into another bout of laughter.

“It was a scheme, a dirty underhanded scheme,” Effie says.

The guy I was supposed to date was a dance instructor. He used the dating app as a way to drum up business. When the women meet him, he pairs them with guys who were there for a lesson. He paired me with a poor man named Harry. My nerves got the better of me, because I don’t like to be touched. Harry’s hands were sweaty. Harry tried to dip me as per my date’s instructions. I tripped, and in the process his toes were crushed, and I ended up with a sprained ankle.

When I arrived in crutches to the next book club, well, that was one of those dates that simmers at the surface vying to be in the top three.

“Gloss didn’t believe me. He said anyone can dance. I told him no, and explained that there are people who are predisposed to fly in airplanes, and some who get motion sickness in a car. “

“What happened next?” Foxface asks, moving to the edge of her chair.

“He went to the jukebox.”

“Oh no,” Johanna mutters. “Did he end up in the hospital?”

“Is that how you know he’s got a twelve pack?” Greasy questions. The ladies, and Peeta are all staring at me.

I shake my head. Why couldn’t there be a rush of customers right now? It is calm and I know the odds are against me.

“Spill it!” Johanna demands.

“Well, he queued up a song and waited a beat, and then Lenny’s Kravits’ American Woman started blaring. Gloss started sauntering and spun and did the splits on the floor. Next thing I know, the women in the place go nuts. They surround him, like a rabid pack of wild dogs.”

“Wait, what!” Delly exclaims her pale eyes bright, she grips the book in her hand.

“That doesn’t happen,” Peeta says.

“It does to her,” Foxface said, her eyes shining with ferocity, like the eyes of those women at Rippers.

“Shut it blondie,” Johanna orders.

“Yeah,” Annie says.

Taking a deep breath I continue. “He started dancing...hips…” my brain flashing to his hips gyrating. “...jutting out and…”

“Ohhhhh yeah,” Greasy cackles.

“Gyrating, his hips gyrating,” Foxface gasps.

With eyes closed I nod. “His hips were doing that all over the place. He then jumped on the table and proceeded to rip off his shirt. He shouted my name and told me his next move was his favorite. He spun onto his knees and slid up in my face before dropping his drawers.” I lower my eyes.

“What,” Delly squeaked. “His pants?”

“It’s like Magic Mike,” Mags whispers.

I know the movie Mag’s is referring to. I’ve never seen it. “Yes.”

“Was he naked-” Foxface began.

“-or was he wearing-” Annie cut Foxface off only to be cut off herself.

“A G-String!” Greasy shouted excited.

I shook my head no. He wasn’t wearing anything, I can feel the heat burning my ears.

“Well don’t stop! What happened next!” Even Effie has lost her sense of propriety.

“As I looked for an escape. It’s then I noticed the poster on the wall, for the Slag Heap.” I pause and sigh, “Men’s Magic Friday Night Extravaganza, and Gloss was the headliner. I realized he’s a stripper.”

And the place erupts in laughter.

“What did you do?” Peeta asks.

My eyes connect with his.

“I slunk down to the floor and crawled my way out...drove to the hospital and made my sister administer a tetanus shot.”

“Can I have his number?” Johanna says laughing but her eyes are dead serious.

Peeta is smiling at me and I grab a cheese bun because they are as delicious as the man staring at me.

Eventually we do get to the book, and it’s a pretty good discussion. Peeta let us stay until closing. Mags and Greasy are the last of the ladies to leave. It’s just me and Peeta since he let the staff go home. I’m loitering because I feel like I need to explain to Peeta why I let the ladies talk me into dating.

I’m putting up the chairs on the tables when Peeta comes out.

“You’re still here?”

“Yeah.” I look down at my feet.

“Katniss.”

“Peeta.” We both say at the same time, followed by a nervous chuckle.

“You first,” Peeta insists, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Dating wasn’t my idea.”

“It wasn't?” He raised an eyebrow.

I shake my head.

“So what happened?”

“The ladies, they got me a year long subscription for my birthday, and knowing I wouldn’t go through with it, they choose who I date...until I find someone,” I can feel the heat rising from my neck and reaching my cheeks, “I like.”

“Really?”

I nod, incapable of speaking. I cannot stop watching the way he blinks, those darned translucent lashes that never tangle.

“Dating is pretty brutal.”

“Yeah,” I snort because dating is horrible.

“My family is constantly setting me up. I went out with a girl who sang through the entire meal. She chose the pasta and sang On Top of Spaghetti.”

“What?” I laugh.

“That was my dad’s doing. My mom’s choice was a lot scarier. She made me do an obstacle course and made me do it three times until I beat the time she wanted me to reach.”

“Wow.”

“I was dressed in dress slacks, a nice shirt, and a tie.” He deadpans, “I even had on dress shoes.”

“I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he shrugs.

I couldn't help but smile.

“Dating sucks until you find someone who makes you laugh, someone who makes dancing easy.”

He approaches or maybe it’s my own feet that carry me to him. But it doesn’t matter because when his arm slides along my waist, and the other cradles my hand, I have no fears. There is something familiar with him as I dance with him. A slow shuffle, that has the room spinning but none of it matters because I feel at home.

“Will you dance with me Katniss?” His voice rumbles in my ear and my heart is pounding in my chest.

His scent is a warm heady mixture of spices, dill, vanilla, and cinnamon.

“Would you go out with me Katniss?”

“Yes,” I answer, and just like that my dating profile goes up in flames. Ladies and gentlemen, I am officially off the market.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlarkbirthdaydrabbles #everlarkbirthdaygifts #fan fic #by mega-aulover

73 notes · View notes

creatingnikki · 4 years

Text

Dearest Cat,

How has your experience as a 23-year-old been? I’m a month in – exactly – and I think it’s going pretty well. Of course, it’s not like I see any instant growth or changes but I see little new patterns and my stance growing stronger in things that matter, and it’s all been building for the last few years. It’s nice to see it getting finally materialised in actions, however.

I’m sorry about your breakup. I’ve never been in a long-term ‘official’ relationship but I have been in relationships that have fucked with my mind while breaking my heart so I know how it can significantly affect you for a while to come. And take it from someone who tried the long-distance thing for 6 months, it’s never worth it and it never works out anyway.

I have been, quite uncomfortably and amusingly, been watching a lot of Daniel Sloss stand up comedy and I literally just heard him talk about something I think you should hear too:

“When I was seven years old, my dad said something to me that to this day is the reason I will die alone. Very happily, I may add. But I was seven years old, I didn’t know what life was. I didn’t know what existence was, how the fuck would I know? So I thought I’d ask my dad ’cause he can fix a computer, so he must know. So I was like, “Dad, what do we all do? What’s the meaning of life? Why are we all here? What what the fuck?” And my dad loves his kids, so he wants to explain to his son in a way that he’ll understand, but unfortunately, his son’s a fuckhead. So he has to explain it in a way that a fuckhead will understand, and he accidentally did it perfectly, and it’s stuck with me since then.

This is what he said, right? I’m seven years old. He goes, “All right, buddy. Just imagine that your life, my life, everyone else’s individual life. Imagine all of our lives are like our own individual jigsaw puzzles. As we’re going through life, we’re just slowly piecing it together, bit by bit, based on experiences and lessons that we’ve learned until we get the best picture, but the thing is everyone has also lost the box for their jigsaw. So none of us know what the image we’re trying to make is, we’re just confidently fucking guessing. So the best way to do a jigsaw, when you don’t have the image to work off, is to start from the outside, the sides and the four corners. Family. Friends. Hobbies/interests. Job.

Now obviously, as you go through life, some of these bits are subject to change. Sometimes you’ll make new friends, and you’ll lose contact with old so you gotta move this corner around a bit. Sometimes you’ll get a job. That means you can’t have certain hobbies. You gotta decide then, “Do I want more me time or do I want more work time?” You gotta move the stuff around. Sometimes you’ll have a family member that dies, and they’ll leave a big hole in your life. In that moment you’ll have to find a way to fill that void, otherwise you’ll be incomplete forever. ”

Now, that made perfect sense to me, because I was seven years old. I fucking loved jigsaws. So I was like, “All right, okay. So once you’ve got the stuff on the outside, what’s the main bit of the image? What we are all working towards?” And he goes, “Well, that’s That’s the partner piece. You and this perfect person who you’ve never met before to come out of nowhere, fit your life perfectly, complete you and make you whole for the first time in your life, much like your mother did for me. ” Seven. Seven years old. I wish you just said, “Ice cream!” And we could have fucked off.

And even though what he said sounds sweet and whatever, what it manifested in my seven-year-old brain was this, “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole. ”

And that’s not just something my dad made me feel, that’s something that we as a society have made every single child born in the last 40 years feel. Every Disney princess has a prince, every prince has a princess, every television show or movie always has a character in it that doesn’t want to be in a relationship. They’re happy with who they are. But then by the end of the series, guess what. They were wrong! They were wrong for wanting to be alone, what a fucking idiot. Everyone needs someone, yeah. They were just a toasty little marshmallow, weren’t they? It’s all to do with love.

Divorce, an entirely common thing that there is nothing wrong with. When you’re growing up and your friends’ parents get divorced, you’re told to not talk about it or mention it to them because it’s taboo, and it is taboo is because every relationship on the outside is perfect, because none of us are willing to admit that none of us know what the fuck we’re doing. And when you raise children in that world, where everything points towards love and everything’s perfect on the outside, when you’ve raised them for 18 fucking years, when we become an adult for the first time in our late teens and our early 20s, we’re so terrified.

We’re so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw piece and just fucking jam them into our jigsaws anyway, denying that they clearly don’t fit. Oh, we’ll move pieces out the way, I don’t need this hobby, I don’t need this opinion. Mom who? The bitch with the tits. What’s she done for me recently? I’m gonna force this fucking person into our lives because we’d much rather have something than nothing. Then five years later, you’re stood looking at a jigsaw you don’t recognize, being like, “Ah! There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this.”

Maybe you do meet the perfect person. Maybe you meet them, you go out. They make you laugh. You make them laugh. They’ve got a stupid laugh, but you fucking love it. They like what you like. They like your idiosyncrasies. It’s great. It’s perfect. Oh, my God, they’ve completed you. For three months. Every relationship is perfect for three months. And here’s why. ‘Cause after three months, that’s when you realize that nobody else is a jigsaw piece.

Everyone else on this planet is as deep and as complex and individual as you are, which means they too have spent the last 20 or so years of their life working on their own jigsaw puzzle, in the same way that you’ve been working on yours. You can’t suddenly expect them to give up everything they’ve come to achieve to suddenly fit into yours in the same way that you’d be pissed off if they asked you to sacrifice everything you’ve done, suddenly come fit into theirs, but now, because you like each other and because you’re interested in each other, now you have to make a jigsaw together. And we all know how fucking annoying that is. But you do it ’cause you’re in love and you’re interested, and maybe for the first couple years, it’s great. It’s like, “Oh, my God, you love this bit of me. I love this bit of you. Oh, my God, we got the same thing, yeah!”

But time does not equal success. You can spend five or more years with someone, and only then, after all the fun you had, be looking at the jigsaw and realize you’re both working towards very different images. Only then realize that you want different things. And in that moment, you have a very, very difficult question to ask yourself. One. Do I admit the last five years of my life have been a waste? Two. Do I waste the rest of my life? 55% of marriages end in divorce. 99. 0% of relationships that started before they are 30 end. If those were the stats for surgery, none of us would fucking risk it. But because it’s love and we’re stupid, we just lie on the operating table like, “Maybe this time I won’t die inside. ” My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that they’re willing to give up the one they are currently living. We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. People are more in love with the idea of love than the person they are with.”

You should definitely watch his whole special on Netflix. That guy makes you uncomfortable. But he also makes you laugh. And sometimes, like in his above sketch, he makes you really think.

I think he has said all I would want to tell you about your break up – and I hope it’s helpful because I spent 30 minutes trying to find its transcript haha. And I don’t know what his conclusion really is, I still have the rest of the show to watch, but I think….I think love will come to us when it has to. Until then we just have to live our lives with joy and love for ourselves anyway.

Your meaning of love…I described something similar when I spent 13th Feb – the night before Valentine’s Day making my profile on Hinge. And that’s the thing that most people don’t understand – while 90% people I know first care about the physical appearance of the person, I care about whether we connect and have a spark. Whether we can make each other laugh and kinda just be at the same level/frequency. As you said…Connection of minds and souls and knowing each other to your core. Interestingly, there’s something that hit me like a fucking truck a few months ago and I scribbled it down before it had the chance to move on and leave me confused:

All this. Writing in your journal, underlining sentences in books, taking pictures you’ll never put up on social media or show anyone. All this is your consistent and earnest effort to try to communicate and connect with your past self and get to know your future self and coordinate between the three dimensions of who you were, are and will be. It’s all for you. By you. No one else needs to validate you. Or understand you. Or question you. It’s not their place, it never was.

You need to realize the person your past self was trying to become. The person your future self will need to be. You need to have patience when you can’t figure it out. When you feel betrayed. Because no matter how lacking you may be, you will never have any malicious intentions. You’ll not be flaky, you’ll not be weak, you’ll not throw yourself under the bus. Writing letters to yourself, making playlists so meticulously to capture every season, every mood and continuing despite being uncertain and confused…it’s all you reaching out to yourself.

And I think…it’s when we’re earnestly and constantly trying to connect with ourselves when we come across a person who does the same…we will easily and naturally connect with them, their energy.

I realize that due to the Jigsaw sketch by Daniel Sloss this letter has gotten pretty lengthy. But I still want to talk to you for some more. I hope you’re with me and have connected with my words up until now

About the work friends and how they were there for you and made you feel…isn’t that one of the most comforting, lovely and reliving things? Kinda unexpected too, no? I remember last year, a random lunch on a random workday, I looked around at these 4 smart, brilliant, kind and strong women – my co-workers and friends – at the round lunch table talking about meaningful things – personal and worldly – as we always did and just thinking – wow, finally, I finally belong! I’ve always been a very one-to-one person when it came to friends and was never part of a group (other than groups that feel absolutely uncomfortable and unwelcomed) that was so accepting, loving, sensitive and sincere. And smart! Gosh, so damn smart!

Soon after, each of us left that company – horrible management – and it’s been a year now. We are in touch but of course, it’s never going to be the same as before. And that’s okay. Just thinking of those times and them is enough to make me feel as loved and accepted as I did back in those days. And that’s what I want to tell you – you will come across such people who will truly care about you and help you nurture yourself but their life will overlap with yours just for a while. As a child, this would make me sad and angry! Now, it only makes me super grateful and mindful about being present in the moment that is now, in the life I am living right now. And I hope you can too

So, Cat, I don’t know how many months you have of being 23 but I hope they are all, as well as the coming years, full of connecting with yourself, with people that genuinely care about your well-being and growth and with everything that brings you joy and peace.

Lots of love,

Nikki

I wrote this letter for Nura basis some questions they answered. You can read the questions and their answers here.

Guys - I have received 29 people’s responses for The Love Project - 29 days of love letters. So I won’t be accepting anymore, however, you can read other letters here.

I may do this again later in the year and if you would want to receive a love letter from me then, you can drop in your email ID here xoxo

#the love project #29 days of love letters #letter 12 #love letters #february 2020 #happy february #valentine's day #let me write you love letters #creatingnikki #love #heartbreak #break up #daniel sloss

22 notes · View notes

madamebaggio · 4 years

Photo

FATE CAN SUCK IT - Kingsman Fanfiction

Summary: Agatha didn't have an easy life: ran away from home at 15, became a prostitute, met her soulmate at 17...

Harry Hart was everything she had dreamed as little girl, but life destroyed that little girl. She had no use for him and she knew he would never want her, so she left.

10 years later she works for an agency that loves trouble and Harry is back.

Fate is such a pain in the ass.

***

Notes: This work is unfinished, but can be found here. Also, this is a Kingsman soulmate AU with a whole cast of OC.

I hope you enjoy the first chapter.

***

Chapter 1

Nikki was not a complaining person. Well, teenager, to be more honest. She’d had her rebel phase, thinking that she was smarter than everyone else around her and that her parents were stupid tyrants.

Running away with her good-for-nothing boyfriend of the time seemed like a great idea. She had been a very stupid 15-year-old.

Nikki was now 17 and the street had made her cold and cynical. Most days, she felt like she was 90. That’s what being a teenager prostitute did to you. She should not have been surprised.

Good-for-nothing boyfriend left her alone in the middle of London with no money, a fondness for LSD and too scared – and ashamed – to call her parents.

Nikki had always been too pretty and looked older than she actually was. The street was cruel to stupid young girls and turning tricks had been the only answer for her, even if it ate at her faster than the drugs. She was way too skinny now, but at least she was alive and had a roof over her head.

She had been lucky, honestly. Some of the girls had felt sorry for the lost 15-year-old and took her in. She had cried on her first night, until Foxy – one of the older girls – slapped her and told her to grow up and deal with it.

Six months after that, Nikki didn’t give a shit anymore. She felt dead inside and was just waiting for her body to catch up on that.

She wished now that she could look into the eyes of her 15-year-old self and tell her she was a stupid little bitch. She wished for a lot of things.

Right now, she wished she had a jacket.

The asshole of the night had put her in a car and drove her to some fancy neighborhood, then stopped in front of a house and demanded a blow job. Apparently it was his ex-wife’s house. Everybody had weird kinks and ideas; she could not care less about his.

What she did care a lot about was the fact that the bloody bastard refused to pay her for it, then slapped her – hard – in the face, before throwing her out of the car. So now she was in the middle of a posh neighborhood with no idea how to get back home.

It was after one, so there was no living soul on the street and even if there was, she could hardly see one of those blokes wanting to help a hooker. She would be lucky if she didn’t get into even more trouble.

Nikki hugged herself, hoping for a bit more of warmth. She had split lip, her shoulder hurt from where the arsehole had pushed her against the door, before he managed to open it and throw her out of the car. That lovely action left her with skinned hands and knees. The worst part was that she ripped her damn stockings, and they were bloody new!

She sighed and saw her breath in the air. Well, great. Just fucking peachy. She would freeze to death out here. Although… If she thought about the headlines of the next day (“Young hooker found frozen in a respectable neighborhood!”) she could even smile a bit.

She had to get fun from the very few places where she could.

She turned into another street – they all looked the same – and saw a man walking in her direction. He was wearing an honest-to-God suit at this time of night and carrying an umbrella on his arm. He looked like a fucking lord coming down the street.

When he saw her, he stopped for a second to access her – there was no other word for it – before coming in her direction.

“Are you alright, miss?” He asked, a small frown on his too pretty face.

He was older, she could see it now. His hair was perfectly styled, his glasses probably were of some fancy brand and his accent was as posh as it got. But he called her “miss” and Nikki had to laugh at that.

“Miss, darling?” She huffed in a laugh. “Need stronger glasses?”

He arched a brow. “Are you lost?” He insisted.

“That obvious, huh?” She scoffed. “Just need some directions.”

“You’re hurt.”

“Very observant of you.” She rolled her eyes. “Look, darling, either you point me to a direction or…” She looked him up and down. “Ask me the price.”

His lips thinned in obvious reprove. Then it was like he had thought of something. “Alright. What is your price?” He asked politely, like he was asking her what time it was.

Well, she was not expecting that. At all. But she did not trust this guy for a second. He was way too good looking and proper to want a hooker like her. If he wanted one, he could get way better, but she could play the game.

“Depends on what you want, sugar.” She put her hand on her hip and cocked it.

“I want you to come home with me so I can take a look at your bruises, then ask a taxi to take you home.” He said with a simplicity that left Nikki feeling actually shocked.

“You wanna play doctor?” She asked flatly.

This time he rolled his eyes. “Yes.” It was amazing how much sarcasm a person could inflict on one single word. “So?”

“Why not?” She shrugged. What was the worst he could do to her? Kill her?

She walked a bit behind him, but they didn’t have a long way to go before he walked into a street that had a very charming house. It figured.

He opened the door and made a gesture for her to walk in first. She chuckled again at that, being treated as a lady by one of those guys.

He told her to sit on the couch and went to get something. Nikki started regretting a bit not having a knife hidden in her boots like some of the girls did. Maybe she had been a bit too harsh.

She was considering getting up and leaving when the man came back, carrying a small first aid kit.

“Let me see this lip.” He said, sitting by her.

“You can’t possibly be serious.” She was looking at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop, because there was no way this man was this nice for absolutely no reason. “I’m not letting you fuck me for free, just cuz you’re being nice.” She warned him deadly serious.

The man looked at her like she had just said the stupidest thing ever. He had this curious look about him, a cross between outrage –at what she said -and disappointment –that she really thought that.

“This is not why I helped you.” He said firmly.

“Why was that again, sugar?”

“I do have a name.” He told her with exaggerated patience.

“OK. Do you want me to ask you what it is?” She made a face of such extreme innocence, that she knew he would see right through it. “I can even pretend to care about the answer.”

The man sighed – once more – and fixed his eyes on her. “Why so hard on the world?” He asked gently. “Why such tall walls?”

“Why the fuck do you care?” She snapped. “I’m a junkie and a whore, you don’t even know me. Why do you care?” She demanded of him. Yes, she was pushing, because she wasn’t exactly a junkie, but she wanted to make him cringe.

She was so pissed at him! Angry that he dared to make her care, that he scared and pressured her. Mad that he made her feel anything at all.

“Because we already live too harsh lives to be unkind to other people for no reason.” He replied honestly, his eyes looking at her like he could actually see her, the real her, not just this empty shell. “Because someone – anyone – ought to care about another human life.”

Oh Lord, this man couldn’t possibly be serious. How could anyone believe in something so cliché and naïve? How could a man at his age – she was guessing late 30’s to early 40’s – even think that the world was anything but a terrible place?

“You’re delusional.” She informed him, her voice shaking a bit.

“Maybe a little bit.” He had this grin on his face. “I’m also Harry Hart. Nice to meet you.”

He offered her his hand, but Nikki was not seeing it. The name kept playing over and over in her head.

“Harry Galahad Hart?” She asked, her voice now really trembling.

His face became shocked, then suspicious in a second. His eyes fell to her chest, not to ogle, but she knew what he was looking for.

Nikki had been born with the name “Harry Galahad Hart” on her chest, right over her heart, in the curve of her breast, the name of her soulmate, the one person in the world that was meant for her. She spent years trying to figure out who that person was, imagining thousand ways in which they could meet.

Then good-for-nothing- boyfriend came along and reminded her that Harry had her name too and was probably older – since she was already born with his name – and he had not come looking for her. Harry might not want her.

Maybe, if she hadn’t been in such a bad place back then, she wouldn't have listened to him so easily, but she was desperate to leave, so she pretended she didn’t care about Harry Hart anymore.

Nowadays, she just knew she had nothing to offer and with her luck Harry would either be a drug dealer or a pimp.

She never thought, in a million years, that she would really meet him, or that he would be so… This.

Harry was frowning now, because there was nothing on her chest. Clients didn’t appreciate seeing soulmates names on their hookers – maybe it reminded them that they were likely cheating – so most girls covered theirs.

Nikki licked her index finger and passed over her chest, revealing some of the letters, enough to read “Galah”.

“So…” He cleared his throat. “You are Aga…”

“I go by Nikki, it’s more whorish.” She had no illusions that this man would want her, so she might as well destroy this now.

“God, you’re 17!” He seemed beyond shocked now. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then his eyes started going from one direction to another, never looking at her.

“I’m also not interested.” She declared getting up; she had to leave this place. This was all she could never have, not now, not ever. Harry might even be a decent man, but he would never be able to handle this.

Even if he thought he was, one day they would fight and what would he say to her? She could hear him calling her a whore already.

“Look.” He got up too, “It’s not that you…”

“Spare me.” She threw her hair back, the picture of nonchalant. “Let’s not make this harder than it has to be.”

“Nikki, my life is complicated…” He tried again, but she had enough.

“I don’t care.” She told him with finality. “Because I know where this is heading and I lived 17 years of my life without you in it. I can sure as fuck live the rest of it.”

She walked to the door. “Let me call you a cab.” He asked politely, but also nervous.

“I can walk, darling.” She called over her shoulder before stepping once again into the cold night.

She started walking fast, but Nikki only realized she was crying when the first drop hit her arm. Yes, it still hurt, even knowing she could not have it. It would get better, then again, it was not like it could get any worse.

#madame baggio #fanfiction #posted on ao3 #Kingsman #soulmate AU #harry hart #merlin #eggsy unwin #Roxy Morton #OC #gifs not mine

9 notes · View notes

erismerald · 5 years

Text

Never alone

Hiiii! Okay this is going to be my first imagine (and btw my english is good but sometimes it manages to be pretty shitty)

Warings: None

Chapter 1

Okay it's confirmed, that now I will be forced to live here because of my stupid stepfather...

I had a fantastic life but it's tragedy started about nine years ago, my parents were both archaeologists, my father met my mother at an annual meeting and so their love story started and I was born years later... But 8 years after I was born my father was summoned to war and unfortunately died in battle...

Me and my mother were desolated but some time after, my mother remarried, at first I thought he was a good person, thought that me and him could get well, but unfortunately when I was 14 years old my mother died with a rare disease and I ended up staying with him.

At first I was not sad because I had him but as time went by he began to become rude and almost every night he was drunk at home.

About a month ago he had gotten drunk and came inside the house and went out to my room and without me realizing he tried to rape me but I defended myself and he ended up having serious injuries, having to go to the hospital, as soon as he left the hospital he put me in this damn orphanage...

And well, this is how my story begins.

My name is Y/N and I am 17 years old and honestly I do not have much to tell about me... I like to draw and love history, never dated and I think now that I'm here no one will ever want me...

God I've been here for almost two months and this has been hell for me I never thought that living in an orphanage was so hard...

Good to know what it looks like, today comes a new "father" This is what we call a person who eventually adopts us, so the nuns asked me to dress well because maybe today is the day! I can't believe I can get chosen.

It was almost 12:30 am and I was in my room sitting on a little couch reading and when I looked in the atrium I saw a white van from where a man came from, is that him?

Sister Monica came to call me to my room to go to the auditorium.

Barely there I felt that the tall man in red shirt and gray hair was looking at me and when I looked at him I saw that he threw me a little smile

"Good girls, this is MR. Sullivan, today he came to fetch one of you, to be his daughter and heiress"

I hardly heard that name remembered me ever having read anything about it, and I ended up distracting myself in my thoughts...

"Y/N!!" I startled myself when I heard Sister Monica scream my Name

"Y-yes? Sorry I was thinking and got distracted "I tried to excuse myself quickly not to do MA figure

I noticed that when I looked at my side no longer was no one will have ' dormant ' for so long

"Congratulations you were chosen, I will accompany you to your room to fetch your things and today you go with Mr. Sullivan"

~ 1 hour later ~

At this time I was being directed to the House of Mr. Sullivan

"Thank you... For having adopted me Mr. Sullivan " you said in a gentle voice

"Don't call me Sullivan darling you can call me sully! So I'd like to know more about you, tell me your story "

Along that talk I noticed that his expression was changing

"That's very sad y/n, I'm sorry you got past these things but now it's okay"

As he was saying that we were approaching a mansion in the middle of the forest, does he live here?

We got out of the car and he went to get my luggage. "Good Hope you like the House we will be all at your disposal, everything you need I give you, you do not need to be afraid, now I will take care of you"

He said with such a big smile on his lips that made me smile automatically

When we entered we heard voices, who could they be?

"Nathan? Sam? Elena? Already here they could have called me before, I went to fetch this cutie here "

We arrived, to the living room, which by the way was full of artefacts and books (a prefect place for me), when we arrived there, were three people seated, both arose and came to our meeting.

"Sully of course that we are already here, we were eager to meet her" said the girl who was with them, that if I remember correctly her name was Elena... Now that I repair was a man between them that was incredibly beautiful, he should be over 40 years old but still made my heart beat too fast... The hell why I'm nervous ? I'm going to ignore this feeling

"oh that's good, well this is Y/n she have 17 years and ended up becoming my daughter"

The first to see me lengths was Elena, she is blonde and super cute to be honest

"Hi Dear, my name is Elena it's a pleasure meet you honey!"she smile and gave me a kiss in the check

The lad who stood beside her came to my meeting and embraced me

"Welcome to the family my name is Nathan Drake" he smiled and I smiled at him and felt happy to be there

After the elder came, he was so charming that I haven't stopped looking at him since I got here... What does he have, Nathan and Elena went with Sully to the other side of the room, I think Nathan was showing him something.

The elder approached me and caught in my hand kissing her.

"Very pleased my name is Sam Drake" and smiled sideways at me

Fuck he's so beautiful hope he can't figure out how much he made me nervous

"My name is y-y/N, the pleasure is Mine"

He dropped my hand and I went towards the rest until I felt his hand pulling my wrist and whispered in my ear "we will see who gives pleasure" and left there my front without looking to bring, to be authentic I was so blusher that I do not know what to do nor how to react

What did he mean by that?

I hope you enjoyed my first chapter of this new fanfic sorry for my English ❤️❤️

12 notes · View notes

tornrose24 · 6 years

Text

‘Just need to vent’ A oneshot for artistcaptainbendy’s Bendypants AU

In which Harold has some things on his mind during his adventures in the studio and talks to an unlikely individual willing to listen to him.

Thought I’d write something for @artistcaptainbendy for their Bendypants AU. I don’t know what the full story is for their au, so most of this involves lots of guesswork. (And some based of what I learned from them). Also, I figured that in the original Bendy and the Ink Machine (which belongs to the Meatly), the cartoons were made in the 1930’s, so the time skip of 30 years would lead to the 1960’s. I did that for this one-shot, so a lot of what Harold is angry about reflects what went on during that time.

Trapped somewhere within the studio walls, away from the sun and the only scent in the air was that of ink and wood. That was how Harold felt at times when he wasn’t trying to solve the mysteries of whatever was going on.

Mysteries that were borne from childhood dreams between him and George.

George wanted this studio to become a reality as badly as Harold did once upon a time... then... Well, it wasn’t fun to dwell on what happened whenever Harold recalled what caused the two to finally separate.

Harold was pretty sure that their old elementary school principal felt like he owned the whole Earth when he heard the news. He could hear the old jerk crying tears of joy when he thought no one was looking. It made Harold want to go back and punch him in that oddly shaped nose of his–he’d deserved it for that and more.

Harold paused in his card game to look at his opponent–the one who saved him from a twisted version of his and George’s favorite creation and who looked identical to that same principal. They created Krupp as a joke–the big bad wolf to Bendypants’ red riding hood–but somewhere he mellowed out and the two became friends, possibly through wishful thinking on their creators’ part. Now? He was Harold’s mostly silent savior who treated the man as if he were an old friend, rather than an annoying brat or an enemy to Bendypants. As if the drawings he made came to life... as if what happened earlier–

Don’t think about upstairs. Harold firmly reminded himself. Don’t think about seeing him on that contraption with his ribcage busted wide open like–

He heard a tapping noise and saw that Krupp was tapping a finger on the table with an annoyed look on his face. That habit was familiar to Harold, because it was one of their principal’s habits when he didn’t realize he was doing it. If Krupp talked, he could bet his last paycheck that he’d say something with the word ‘bub’ involved. Just like that mean old principal from way back when... God, if only Harold could go back as an adult to revisit him. What kinds of things would that man have said, not realizing who the blonde really was? Was Principal Krupp even still around, or did bad habits finally do him in?

“Sorry, pal.” Harold let out a weak laugh and set the cards down. “I guess I have a lot on my mind.”

The finger tapping stopped but the look on the face didn’t change... wait... there was something... child like about it. Like a child waiting for their parent to do something... it reminded him of his twins.

Owen... Kai...

“You like kids?” Harold asked. When the wolfman didn’t respond, he continued. “Billy and I have Owen and Kai–they love you guys and all your cartoon shorts. Every time a new one comes out, they insist on going to see it–they’d practically pull our arms off trying to get to the television or the theater!” He grinned as he thought of something that gave him a familiarity–that could make him smile in this house of mangled dreams.

“They look so identical that you almost can’t tell them apart. They like to take advantage of that with their friends, or when one of them gets in trouble. One time Kai broke an expensive plate and I had to send her up to her room... but then Owen took her place instead and when I found out why, it was because he suggested to have that ball game in the house and he felt so guilty.” He shook his head. “It was like something George and I would have–” He stopped.

“We can’t even tell anyone that we’re both their dads.” He bitterly recounted instead. “People just hate the idea of two men raising a bunch of kids together, let alone two guys or two girls loving each other. Billy already had to deal with a bunch of stuff just for being an Asian living in America during the 40’s and he–it almost makes me wish I could just go back to those more simplistic times, you know?” He scoffed. “That’s what we get for living in a post World War II–they think they can just sweep everything under the rug in their boring matching houses and their stupid ‘American Dreams’ of girls becoming housewives and boys becoming big shots like it’s all grand. Like America isn’t still dealing with all the racial tension–you have no idea how lucky George and I were to live where we did, but then you get that one guy who has the nerve to think that I should do better when it comes to choosing friends–”

There was a long pause.

Stuff like this raised too many questions. Like what was going on through adult’s heads when it came to his and George’s friendship? What horrors did George deal with that childhood fun and games couldn’t protect them from? Was their principal also among those idiotic, cruel minded folks who thought they were superior through their ‘normal’ preferences or their ‘normal’ body type? God, it sickened him sometimes. He almost wished things were as easy as in the cartoons and comic books–

No, none of that was important.

“I need to go back.” Harold gave Krupp a pointed, pained look. “I want to go back to the old times, but I need to be with my family. I don’t know what’s going on anymore, but I just want to be back where I know I’m needed.” Harold held his face in his hands. “The outside world is all kinds of awful, but I need to be where I know I’m needed. I want to give them my love and tell them that I don’t care who they are or who they want to become–I’m going to love them to death, even when I’m angry at them or if I ever finding myself scowling at nothing in particular.”

He heard a whining sound–a sympathetic whining sound.

Then seconds later without warning, Harold felt someone hugging him. Krupp was hugging him, he realized when he lifted his head.

He could never imagine the inspiration behind this character ever hugging him. He and George once jokingly said that perhaps this version might. Now another impossible thing became a reality.

Harold returned the hug, and the hold of the character only tightened up in a way that felt comforting. He felt the build up of that fear and bitterness vanish away through the hug.

For one moment, he could imagine that little ten year old boy being hugged by this character, as if he were a genuine father that Harold wanted more than anything. For another moment, he could imagine that same child trying to hug that principal to death as if that could have magically made him a happier individual because if hugs held this much power, then he would have hugged that man constantly until that scowl could turn into a genuine smile and he’d let out genuine laughter instead of villainous crackling. He could have hugged George every day so that he’d know that he was never going to abandon him as a friend, even if something were to keep them apart.

He was going to hug his kids to near death, as well as his Billy (well, hugging and kissing for his Billy) when he got home. They deserved all the comfort in the world. If he found George, he’d probably hug him too–hug out whatever his best friend was going through if it were bad.

Harold let out a genuine laugh and smiled before patting the top of the monochrome colored character’s head. “Thanks pal.”

He heard Krupp let out a reassuring growl, but that ten year old buried deep within Harold interpreted it as “You’re welcome, bub. Now never talk about this to anyone or else.”

#artistcaptainbendy #bendypants au #harold hutchins #mr. krupp #mentions of Billy Hutchins and the twins #captain underpants #comfort #not so good things happened in real life during those 30 years #harold is bitter #hugging #George Berd mentioned

23 notes · View notes

rhiannon-writes · 6 years

Text

Character Questions - Connor

Personal

1) Age? 19 years old.

2) Gender? Male.

3) Romantic/Sexual Orientation? Bi.

4) Height? 6’4

5) Race? White.

6) What do they look like? Connor is very tall, which most people notice about him first. His skin is a tan olive color, and he has black hair and bright blue eyes. He is muscular, but not in a showy way, his muscle is all from dragging around grain, barrels of alcohol, bushels of vegetables, etc.

7) Any disabilities? No.

8) Is there a meaning to their name? His name means “lover of hounds” which fits his all around kind disposition. His parents picked it because they had three hunting dogs hanging around the inn when he was born.

9) What makes them, them? His kindness. It’s is the thing that he cares about most in himself, and the thing that draws others to him. He is the guy who will stay up four extra hours to help you with a last minute project, or give you a hug and let you cry when your sad, or help you home if you happen to get wasted.

10) What do they want to be when they grow up/what do they want to do with their lives? He is going to inherit the inn from his father. His father was always clear that if he wanted something else, he should go after it, but it is really what he wants to do with his life.

Family

11) Do they have parents? What are they like and how do they act with their child(ren)? His mother died three years ago, after being sick for several years. It was hard at the time, but he preserved and looks back on her fondly. He and his father have always been very close.

12) Do they have siblings? How do they interact with them? If not, do they wish they had siblings? He doesn’t have any biological siblings, but has always wished that he did.

13) Extended family? Do they see them often? He doesn’t have any extended family. Both of his parents were only children.

14) Do they like where they live? (Is it a safe place?) He lives in the town close by the Academy, which is a hub of merchant activity and shops. There are several villages around as well. Because there are quite a few people and often expensive goods, their is a bit of crime, but Connor doesn’t mind. He couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

15) Where do they live? Are they wealthy? Poor? Middle-Class? He’s a commoner, but the inn keeps him and his father well afloat. I would place him in the middle class.

16) Do they have a lot of expectations/pressure on them from family to do great? No, not really. His father wants him to take over the inn when he passes, but since Connor wants to do that anyway, he doesn’t see it as pressure.

17) Do they have pets? He’s always taking in strays, nursing them to health in his room and then letting them back out to wander the town. Currently there is a cat who sleeps on his bar, and two large hounds who sleep in his room with him.

18) Who do they look up to the most/are the closest to in their family? He admires his father more than anyone else.

19) This there anything special about their family? Not really. They’re just typical merchants. His parents started the inn, the Dragon’s Breath, when they were teenagers and will pass it to him, and he hopes to pass it to his children.

20) Do they wish they lived in a different family/household? Never. He believes that he is as happy as he possibly could be.

Friends

21) Best Friend(s)? Probably Arden. He really got attached to her when she showed up at the inn and he took her under his wing a lot. He really cares about her.

22) Who was their first friend? A local girl named Alyssa, whose parents were friends with his parents. They played a lot as kids. Sometimes she still drops by to check in and say hi.

23) What is their friend group like? He has a lot of friends, but not much free time. So if someone wants to socialize they’ll usually come into the inn, order a drink, and chat while he works. He’s generally just a very likable guy, and people like to be around him.

24) Do they have a love/hate relationship with any of them? No.

25) Do they consider any of their friends to be like siblings? Yes. Connor sees Arden as the little sister he’s always wanted. She’s certainly annoying enough to fit the role.

26) Have they ever hurt a friend or lost one? He’s never really hurt a friend, and the friends that he’s lost have all just kinda drifted away rather than there being some kind of blowout or fight.

27) Do they have a crush on any of their friends? No. Not really.

28) Do they share classes with good friends? No. He didn’t have anyone else in his classes.

29) Whom do they go to the most when they need a shoulder to cry on? Usually if it’s bad he’ll talk to his father. Otherwise he just throws himself into his work, and cleans a bit obsessively or organizes the kitchen again or goes to the market to try and find that week’s bargains.

30) What would this person do without their friends in their lives? He’d struggle a lot. He’s a pretty big extrovert and loves people. Not having the people who care about him would be rough.

School

31) What grade are they in? If they aren’t in school, how come? He was homeschooled. His parents couldn’t afford to send him to the academy, even though it’s very close.

32) Do/Did they like their teachers? Was there a good one? Bad one? His only teachers were his parents, so he liked them, even if they got on his nerves sometimes.

33) Do/Did they listen to their teachers or are/where they goofing off a lot? He was a pretty goofy kid, to be fair, but he did try to put in some real effort in his schoolwork.

34) Are/Where they a good student grade wise? Not really applicable?

35) Do/Did they need extra help? Nah. He did pretty well on his own.

36) What is/was their school like? He was homeschooled. When he was doing schoolwork, his parents actually changed one of the rooms at the inn into an area for him to study.

37) Do/Did they have bullies in school? Nope.

38) Have they ever gotten into a fight at school? No.

39) Have they ever done something stupid/embarrassing at school? Definitely. But the only witnesses were his parents, so no big deal.

40) How far do they plan to go with school? If they dropped out, do they want to go back? His schooling is over.

Other

41) Are they dating anyone? Do they want to date? Are the married? Divorced? He dates here and there, but has never has a serious relationship.

42) What is their favorite hobby? Do they keep it a secret? He doesn’t really have any hobbies. He needs one. When he’s bored he usually just cleans. Or finds another stray animal to stick in his room and nurse back to health.

43) If they could have one thing in life, what would it be? I don’t really think he knows. There’s nothing glaring that’s missing from his life. He’d probably say some extra gold coins to fix the leaky roof, or maybe a bit more room out back so that he could get another pig and maybe a milk goat.

44) Do they work? If so, what is it? If not, are they looking for one or even want one? He works as a bartender in his father’s inn.

45) Do they use social media? N/A.

46) Have they ever been to a medic? Yes. When he was about seven he was helping his father in the kitchen and nearly sliced off a finger. He was injured at other points, but his father took care of that on his own.

47) Do they believe in the supernatural, that there is more than the eye can see? He is superstitious, and a bit religious. His father raised him with religion and he still believes, just not very intensely.

48) What do they do when they get angry, stressed, or upset? He tries to talk about it, if it’s an option. If not sometimes he’ll try and take a nap, which usually makes him feel better, but more often he’ll try as hard as he can to be productive in some way.

49) Would they consider themselves as a good person, bad person, or morally grey? He sees himself as a good person. Nothing fantastic, not meant to change the world. But a good person all the same.

50) Does this OC have any part of you in them? (I.e, personality traits, similar background, etc) He has the kindness and optimism that I wish I had. He’s also a hard worker and raised by a single parent.

51) Do you have a picture to represent them? (My question. Lol.) Nope. I was really unable to find a medieval style image of someone that looks like him. Which is SO FRUSTRATING.

Tag Game belongs to @curiousscientistkae

#writer #writing #writeblr #writers of tumblr #mine #connor #my character #my characters #oc #my oc #my wip #current wip #the academy #character profile

3 notes · View notes

thornstocutyouwith · 4 years

Text

Ailis Potter Information

Name: Ailis Caoimhe Potter (Nee: Byrne)

Meaning of Name: Ailis (God is my oath) Caoimhe (gentle, beautiful, precious.) Potter ( maker of drinking and storage vessels) Byrne (Raven)

Nickname(s): Ali

Age: 110 (looks late 30’s/early 40’s)

Birthday: Sunday, April 29, 1909

Species/Nationality: Elf (blood, wild, high, drow)// Irish and English

Accent: English (Yorkshire)

Language spoken: English, Irish, Elvan

Powers:Illusion Manipulation , Lunar Magic, Animated Shadow, Darkness Attacks, Celestial Event Manipulation, Demonic Weather Manipulation, Dark Matter Manipulation. Spiritual Darkness Manipulation, Malefic Attacks, Envy Empowerment, Corruption Magic, Pride Empowerment, Fallen Transcendent Angel Physiology, Negativity Empowerment, Dark Alchemy, Psychic torture, Demon Manipulation, Transcendent Demonic Mage Physiology, Natural Force Healing, Aquatic Life Manipulation, Eternal Summer Inducement, Environment Manipulation, Fire Manipulation , flow manipulation, Electrolytic Blood, Healing Blood, Blood Oxygen Manipulation, Blood Magic, Haemokinetic Construct, Fear Inducement, Possession, Dart Arts, Semi-Immortality, Fatal Touch, Divine Resurrection, Death Element Manipu/ Neuro-Psychic_Knowledgelation, Death Magic, Destruction Symbiosis, Demonic Slayer, Death-Force Weaponry, Kiss of Death, Color Magic, Hell Imprisonment , Dimension Creation, Realm Connection,Meta-Space Manipulation , Fey Step, Inorganic Combat, Dual Wielding, Xylokinetic Combat, Fan Attacks, Whip Manipulation, Attack Prediction, Neuro Psychic Knowledge, Xeno Accelerated Probability, Guidance, Electrokinetic Combat, Gesture Casting, Environmental Combat, Pyrokinetic Combat, Mystical Martial Arts, Zodiac Physiology, Body Magic, Werebeast Manipulation, Inertia Magic, Sin eating, Reality Playing, Mythical beast manipulation, Nymph Physiology, Enhanced Archery,Metaphysics Manipulation , Flux Manipulation, Nether Magic, Primordial Ice Manipulation, Spirit Animal Connection (Owl)

Pet(s): lavender skunk, dormouse, hognose snake, ermine

Illness/Allergies: Allergies to soy, allergies to iron

Occupation: Assassin

Faceclaim: Christina Hendricks

Description: She has pointed ears, tri-tone eyes of greenish blue around the outer part of the eye and lavender in the center with gold specks in them. She has tribal tattoos that decorate most of her pale skin. She has long, tousled, wavy red hair parted slightly to the side.

Outfit/Accessories/Jewelry: shirt, jacket, skirt, shoes, necklace

Height: 4’9

Weight: 83 lbs

Body Build: slim but athletic build.

Backstory/Background:

Past

Ailis was born in the early 1900’s in Dalby Forest in Scarborough, England. Her mother, Siderli,was part of a tribe of wild elves that were isolated from most populations of other elves and humans. Siderli met Ailis’ father, Elelrin, when she was traveling closer to the Scottish border for hunting. He was searching the forest for an ancient flower that would help in a ritual that he was performing to help his sick child. While he was searching, he was almost attacked by a wild animal, but Siderli killed it before it could harm him. This set off a long, secret affair that produced Ailis. However, when Siderli turned up pregnant her tribe didn’t take it well. They didn’t take well to outsiders,so learning that the child that she was pregnant with was a mixture of different elves, they attempted to kill her, so she ran and was adopted into a small tribe of wild elves that were made up of run away or banned members of other tribes. Elerin in this time, finding out that he had a bastard child, refused to see Siderli anymore.

On April 29th, Ailis was born, and lived a rather normal life for a wild elf. She learned a lot from the elves around her, and became rather talented at hunting and magical abilities that she learned from her olders. When she was ten years old, her mother began to act strange, become erratic and having odd behaviors. She knew something was wrong, and Siderli knew that she didn’t have long to live. Wanting Ailis to have a good life, and knew that she would never struggle with her well to do father, dropped the young girl off on her father’s door steps. She told Ailis that she would return, gave her note to give to the man that would answer the door, and left.

Siderli never returned, and Elerin, suddenly had to admit to a ten year old secret to his wife and other children. They were not happy, but took the young girl in since Elerin refused to put her on the streets and she began her new life. This life was different, she didn’t live in the forest with a less civilized tribe of wood elves and was now living in an elven city with a father that she never knew, a step mother that didn’t like her, and two older siblings that thought she was some sort of alien. In this time, she learned what the other parts of her elven blood line was, and that her dad was very mixed.

She spent the next 5 years living under her father, he was a decent father, but her step mother and siblings were vile. They were stuck up high elves that treated her like she was a stupid savage that couldn’t speak. All of this wasn’t true as Ailis was extremely smart and ahead of everything that she did. This didn’t stop the abuse, and when she was 15, something suddenly snapped within Ailis and she killed her oldest brother. The murder wasn’t hard, in fact it was easy, and she held no sympathy for it. The one thing that she did know was that she would never be able to live here again. So, she packed what she could carry and left.

Ailis spent the next few years traveling across Europe stealing and using her skills to make money. This brought the attention of a guild of assassins that introduced her into their brotherhood and she started a very lucrative career as an assassin, though she took on the harder jobs of killing supernatural beings.

The next few decades was spent traveling and working, but her world was shifted differently when she met a young witch named Alywn and she fell in love with him. She never told him what she did for a living, she didn’t think anyone would approve of her being an assassin, so she told him that she was a trader that sold her goods in market places around the world. She put her life on hold to be with Alywn and over the next few years they had four children together. The first was a daughter named Dahlia, then another daughter named Poppy, before they had twins named Hawthorne and Hazel. Ailis was truly, fully happy for the first time in her very long life having this little family. It didn’t take long for that to be shattered away when in the middle of the night, Hazel was stolen from his crib. After long searches, they had no other choice but to believe that their son was dead, and they had to move on. Ailis, however, never truly moved on. She got stuck in a fear, a paranoia that something was going to happen to her other children.

She got possessive and protective of her daughters making sure that nothing would ever happen to them, but also making sure that they lived healthy, happy lives never knowing that anything bad had ever happen. She continued to play house wife and mother for a few years while her husband’s career took off, but assassin life came creeping back up when she got a visit from an old friend demanding that she returned to the guild or her happy life wouldn’t be so happy anymore. Ailis felt she had no choice, so to protect her family, she went back to hunting down supernatural beings that were deemed worthy enough of dying. She did, eventually, tell Alywn what she actually did, and told him that it was for the betterment of the world to do this. So, she spent the next 20 + years assassinating while her husband continued to build the family name, and they lived a very comfortable life, giving their children all that they could ever ask for.

Present

Nowadays, Ailis spends her days with her husband as often as she can, working, and whatever hobbies she can squeeze into her busy life. Two of their daughters were grown adults living their own life, and they only had a 16 year old daughter to worry about. The girls were very special, rare, younger women that had a lot of power in them that had to build guided and controlled, so her and Alywn are always open to continued training with them, especially Hawthorne since she was the youngest. Ailis would always breath easier knowing that her girls could protect themselves and didn’t need to hold so tightly onto them as she did when they were younger. It was a relief to the girls and to her, because she was always anxious that something bad could happen to them at any moment.

Ailis and Alwyn goal was always to keep their daughters out of messy environment that the Other World had became. She knew that they couldn’t protect them forever, but each Ailis and her husband did their parts in the fight against the rise in violence and death in their community. Alwyn did his little second jobs, and Ailis continued her assassination work and hunting of rouge magical beings.

Future

(Work In Progress)

Personality:

Imaginative

Self-Confident

Independant

Determined

Hard-working

Open minded

Arrogant

Judgemental

Patient

Persistent

Stubborn

Possessive

Quirks/Savvies/Other:

Often plays with their hair

Superstitious

Rearranges things when stresses

Extremely judgmental of other people

Hates being inside

Flicks people in the forehead when they get annoyed

Convinced her children are going to die in a freak accident

Can do sleight-of-hand

Extremely loyal and will do anything for their friends/family

Very long painted nails

Likes:

The stars

Lace

Photography

Showers/baths

The color yellow

Open windows

Scrap-booking

Hiking

Hunting

Touching | Hugs, hand holding, PDA, etc.

Dislikes:

Puns

Surprises

Bells

Planes

The city

Mess

horror movies

wet socks

Puzzles

puking

Fears: losing her children or husband.

Personality Tests: INTJ-A

Other: Slytherclaw

Parent(s):

Siderli

Elerin Byrne

Sibling(s):

Lannith Byrne

Anunir Byrne

#PotterFamily #Ailis #AilisInformation #AlwynInformation #AlwynStuff

1 note · View note

yup-ng · 4 years

Text

Actor Pete Edochie Says He Does Not Believe In Single Motherhood

Veteran Nollywood Actor Pete Edochie was Interviewed recently by an SDK Correspondent in Asaba,D elta state and he opened up on how he feels about the current baby mama trend and also explains why someone might be born gay or lesbian.... How TO preserve our culture and appreciate IT What can be done is that you people should listen to your father, you don’t. I have 5 sons and they are all married. None of them has ever beaten up their wives and because they never saw me beat up their mother. I mean let us face it. All the teachings begin from the home. If you don’t teach your children properly from the home, when they get outside, they get wild. Women get over protective about their children and the moment you do that, you spoil the child. It is even in the bible… spare the rod and spoil the child. My father has seven boys. So when he wants to go to work, he assigns duties to all of us and by the time he goes to work, we all go out and play football. So, one day he came back very hungry. And his favourite soup is bitter leaf soup. My mother believed that we had prepared the bitter leaf and she just poured the thing into the soup. My father came back, we pounded yam for him. He tried the first ball and he managed to drive it down. We saw the effort on his face. Nobody knew that it was because of the soup. He tried the second one. He saw that it was an affliction completely, so he washed his hands and asked me to go and get him a bottle of star. I did. When he was drinking that star, he was thinking of how to deal with all of us. When he finished drinking his star, he went into the compound, brought out a branch of a guava plant, if you have ever been flogged with that, you know what it means. It doesn’t break. He called all of us and locked my mother inside and belabored us thoroughly. You see, if he hadn’t used that kind of hand on us, we would have been useless. So, he dealt with us. Most of the women are responsible for messing up their children because they want to over protect them. It is not a question of generational gap. You people should know. A bad thing is a bad thing. It doesn’t turn into good over time. Family values don’t change ever. If a child goes to a soup pot and picks a piece of meat, wallop him. Tell him it is wrong so he does not do it again. If you leave him to continue, it becomes a habit and there is no way he can break it anymore because you never told him this is bad. So if you people who are growing up are willing to listen to your parents, you will learn. RECALLS WHAT HURT HIM MOST What hurt me most was that I was inside a taxi with a woman. It was raining she looked at me and identified me and asked the driver to stop. We were inside a pool of water and the driver stopped. This woman came down from that car and did the sign of ‘God forbid’ flipping her fingers over her head. I kept imagining what I must have done to this woman. I didn’t tell her anything when I came into the taxi. She was there before me. She recognized me and asked the driver to stop. It was raining profusely. She insisted she must get out of the car. The driver stopped. Before she came out, she looked at me and did that sign and banged the door. The driver looked at me and asked me what I had done wrong to her. I didn’t know how to respond to him. So, if you play a good role very well, people will conclude that you are very bad person. Playing a bad role is very difficult. Again, you are invited to come and play the role of a native doctor. That is one role that a lot of people neglect. It is a very serious role. For those of us who consult with native doctors, we know what it means to be a native doctor. If you go to consult a native doctor, when he is doing his incantations, those effigies in front of him, the spirits he is consulting, you won’t know what he is doing. After his divination, he has found an answer. Then he looks at you and he greets you. All these while, he is oblivious of your presence. He will not scream. If you are a catholic you go for confession, nobody will know that you are telling the priest. It is the same thing. But today, most of the people who are engaged to play that role all scream. That is not what it should be. The person who has come to consult you should not know what you are doing. When you are playing the role of a native doctor, all sorts of things are rubbed on your body. It makes you look like a clown and stupid. There is no native doctor that sits down. A native doctor is a normal human being but our make-up artists’ concept is funny. Most of the things you are doing are wrong because your generation is incorrigible. Let’s be very honest with ourselves. For as long as you remain that way, you will not learn anything. The people who today are taking commentaries as broadcasters don’t read. They have no details. They depend on what they pick up from their phones. For as long as you are not ready to read, there is no way you can improve on what you are doing. When Wole Soyinka came up with The Man Died, all the University students were carrying the book around. Some put it in their back pockets but didn’t read it. It was massaging their ego to say that they were carrying that book. You ask them why and they say they can’t understand Wole Soyinka. He is so difficult to understand and I don’t blame you too. HIS THOUGHTS ON SINGLE MOTHERHOOD AND THE BABY MAMA TREND You see, I appreciate classical music and art and anybody who appreciates these tends to be very conservative. I don’t believe in single motherhood. Really, it does not mean anything to me. See, a man and a woman who are White can decide to get married and agree that they will not have children. They become what you call live-ins. That is not our culture. Now, some of you are being are being as stupid as some of those White women, you want to have your boobs stand out even after you have had children. That makes you a bloody buffoon. These boobs are meant for those children to suck them dry. That is why they are there. There is no way that you can raise children and still come out and prim yourself. You are not using your brains. What is single motherhood and what does it mean? Except your single motherhood is accidental. For you to go get pregnant for the fun of it and raise that child on your own, because you can, I don’t think I will encourage that or endorse it. First of all, under what influence is that child going to grow? Because you see, in order for a child to maintain some balance, there has to be an influence from the father and the mother. But if it is coming from just one side, there is no balance. Most of the people who are born in Lagos regrettably do not know their fathers. You can tell from the scripts that they write. The way they insult older people, you will know that they don’t know their parents. Give me a script that was written from Lagos and I will tell you very easily. And when a boy who is trained in Lagos is talking to an elder, he pockets both hands. And that is the influence under which they grew because of societal indulgence. Ordinarily, women in Igbo land don’t challenge their husbands to fight. It is not our culture. By the way, the best husbands are Igbo husbands and I am not joking. I came from a production in Abuja recently. The woman I was married to on set was a Yoruba lady. Her permanent regret was that she was not allowed to marry the Igbo man that she was in love with and she kept saying, Chief, I am not saying this to flatter you and I told her you cannot flatter me now. I have been married for 51 years. She said the best husbands are Igbo men. It is true. When you are married to an Igbo man, he goes on tour, makes money and wants to do shopping. The first thing he does, he buys for his wife, then for his children, and if anything is left, he buys for himself. I am being very honest with you. That influence gets amplified along the line. On mothering Sunday, your children will remember their mother and they will buy a lot of things for her. On fathering Sunday, they will buy a bottle of Whiskey for their fathers. The only thing we ever get is things like drinks. Is it fair? What about some women of marriageable age say late 30s or early 40s without husbands but want kids. What do think about that because automatically, she turns into a single mum? Individual philosophy comes in. ordinarily; I won’t condemn such a woman. She wants to have children, husbands are not forthcoming, but of course there are virile men who can step in, stop gap husbands, at the end of the day, she gets pregnant, you can sympathize with her as far as I am concerned, therefore in that aspect, I think I will not condemn such a person. No. HIS THOUGHTS ON LESBIANS AND GAYS The other day, somebody was asking me questions about lesbians and gay characters. You know, it is very easy to condemn characters like that but that thing is highly spiritual and if I say it, I may not make sense to some of you but I think in due course, you will understand. I believe in reincarnation. A lady can get so fond of her friend and then dies. She would want to be part of that family so that she can stay very close to that friend of hers. She gets born into that family but instead of being born as a woman, he gets born as a man but remember that the spirit that got into that pregnancy is that of a woman and it now manifests as a man, When he sees a man he is attracted to him because you know why? The spirit in him is a female spirit. Very few people can tell you this. I am not saying this felicitously but saying this with plenty of metaphysical authority. This is why sometimes it is not good to rush condemnation when it comes to an issue that you do not understand. This is why the Pope said they should be looked upon with plenty of sympathy. He had his reasons for saying that. It is not everything actually that people understand when it is explained to them. So, when you find the spirit of a woman inhabiting a man, that man will display the characteristics of a woman, get up, paint his lips and he won’t know why he is doing all that and vice versa. People who know are not always in a hurry to condemn. HIS THOUGHTS ON SUCCEEDING On a final note, Train. You never lose anything by training. You don’t lose anything if you train. People are apprenticed for various vocations except human leadership. And this is why politicians make a lot of mistakes. If you want to succeed, you have to undergo a period of apprenticeship. There is nothing rewarding in this world that does not involve some degree of sacrifice. Genius is 90% perspiration and 10% aspiration. I want to be this – that is aspiration and you invest energy in trying to be that – that is 90% perspiration. That is what makes you a genius. The way you react to flattery will not guarantee you success in the industry. To criticize is not to condemn. Read the full article

#ActorPeteEdochieSaysHeDoesNotBelieveInSingleMotherhood

0 notes

der-aggressor · 7 years

Note

I want to be an asshole All the numbers

Curious, huh? You are lucky that I would grant beautiful boys every wish. But don’t expect I won’t demand a reward for my effort…

1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold me?I have to admit I like both, but blindfolding you would be the bigger pleasure for me since I tend to be rather dominant when it comes to boys.

2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse?Depends on the skills of my partner and how much they turn me on in general. Piercings and split tongues are very likely to impress me, but on the other hand intercourse feels great, too, since I have a pierced dick. There is no general answer to this question to me.

3. What was your high school sex fantasy?I have no memories of high school because of a stupid ‘accident’, so I can’t answer this.

4. What’s your favorite position?My partner sitting on my lap, because even though it maybe isn’t the most effective position for both it’s perfectly intimate (yeah, I can be romantic, too…). Missionary style is fine of course, too, because of eye contact and choking and spitting…but I wouldn’t have something against a great doggy style as well. Sometimes you’re just in an animalic mood.

5. Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?I’m pretty self confident about my body, I like my chest and my stomach, but real talk: My tongue is the sexiest part. It’s long and likes to crawl in openings. Otherwise…you decide.

6. Do you like to swallow?Of course.

7. Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?I won’t name any names here, but usually there are boys in my mind with cheeky, attractive faces and body modifications. Nothing is hotter than steel and paint decorating the skin.

8. Your last sexual encounter; good or bad and why?Good. Why? It’s most of the time good if both partners are into the same things/expect the same from each other. I had ones who didn’t understand what bdsm means (because mostly I do bdsm) and even didn’t seem to want to learn about it, what only can lead to disappointments. You have to be willing to take things as they come and even better tell me about the things that turn you on so I can respond to you in the best way. It’s a rather complex topic, but I have to say most of the time I made good experiences, and so was my last one.

9. Where is one place you would never have sex?Never? I truly can’t think of any. Nothing is too dirty or too risky, I guess.

10. Top or bottom?Both, but I can rather live without being bottom/submisse than being top/dominant.

11. Best sexual complement you ever got?It’s enough if you say or let me feel how much you want me to do something. Or trust me deeply.

12. When was the first time you masturbated?Can’t answer this, too, since I have no memories of my teenage years.

13. Have/would you ever have sex outside?Of course. Probably it’s the most fun. Freedom. And risk. What else can you ask for?

14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?This is a secret.

15. Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?I feel best in nothing than my own skin, so I prefer sleeping naked. Or if it’s cold with underwear on.

16. If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list?I tried out very much, but at the moment maybe pistol play or doctor and patient-roleplay. I’m very much into this, you can’t tell.

17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker?I’ve never seen a weird orgasm face, so show me one to win an award. No, real talk: Don’t be afraid of your o-face, it’s hot as fuck and if you think it might look weird you will ruin your fun. Rather than this some moaning voices are way more unattractive than an o-face.

18. Do you have a gag reflex?Haha. It takes much to trigger it, I guess.

19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop?Oh, I can’t complain in any way. These days it’s totally award-winning, but don’t you think I’m already totally satisfied…

20. Are piercings sexy?Next question, please. Seriously, piercings are the main reason for me to want to fuck someone most of the time.

21. Can/Have you ever squirted before?Not relatable.

22. List your kinks.There are way too many. It’s easier to tell what I’m not into: Vomit and shit, these are definitely my hard limits. Most important kinks are everything that includes tongues and saliva, bondage, dirty talk/humiliation and face slapping, to mention a few of my favorites.

23. How did you discover you were kinky?I just were. It’s as easy as that.

24. What was your first kinky sexual experience?This was with my past master I guess. He had much of sexual equipment and I decided to try something out, so it all began with a crop and a stingy ass…

25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? If so, what are they?It’s usually easier to find a slave than a master, so when I discovered I was dominant, too, it totally improved my life and opened me many ways I wouldn’t be able to experience if I wasn’t a switcher.

26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?This is probably the perfect question for me since I had a bdsm relationship some time ago and…yes, broke free from it.I guess it’s better if you don’t play 27/4 because it’s just not inconsistent with the normal life of a person. It boxes you in your role all the time, and for a continuance it may destroy your relationship since it got a burden and so the fun fades. Bdsm is not just playing a role for me, of course, but if you ask me no person can be dominant or submissive all the time and have the full control over the life of their partner.

27. Something that never fails to make you horny:Getting praised like a god. Yeah, I’m vain.

28. Where is one place you would never have sex?We already had this question if I remember this right…

29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:My partner and me got entangled with our piercings…his smiley and my guiche. Just take care!

30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? (handcuffs, ropes, etc.)Depends on how long someone should be bound. If it’s for a rather short amount of time I’d choose handcuffs (because steel is tempting). But for some positions you just have to take ropes since you can’t lock handcuffs on anything and can’t make someone unable to move at all with…

31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny?Just be a good dirty talker, I’m a sucker for this since imagination and desire is sometimes even sexier than the real thing. (What doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to dry hump you from the first moment you looked me in the eyes…)

32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:My pistol. It’s not for little boys to play with.

33. Two things you like/dislike about oral sex:Like: Tongue action, amounts of saliva and cute puppy eyes looking up to you.Dislike: It’s a a little hard if your partner has a distinct gag reflex, if you have bad luck they’d vomit all over your cock, and that’s definitely a killer for the mood. The only disadvantage when I’m the one who gives head is that I won’t be able to tease with words, hehe.

34. How big is too big?I don’t care much about size. Never thought about this.

35. One sexual thing you would never do:Like I said before: Vomit and shit are my hard limits.

36. Three spots that drive me insane:Ear, neck, armpits. And the usual areas.

37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?More than anything. I’m craving for all reactions of my partners. Reactions are my fetish.

38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum?I don’t think so. If I don’t cum, doesn’t it mean that it wasn’t turning me on enough?

39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not?I watch all kind of porns, but gay porn will be forever my favorite I guess. Why? I may be pansexual, but I clearly tend to boys and I’m attracted to them the most. Good femdom porn is hard to find, so there are not so many options left, hehe.

40. If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be now?Weird question. It would be still a new born.

41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not?I like it, of course, since sometimes it’s more blessed to give than to revieve…I just like to pamper my partners and make them feel good. That’s as important as my own pleasure.

42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them?Indeed the most of them I bought not a long time ago. In Germany I had nothing but toys for my own pleasure, but back in Japan I purchased things like ropes and handcuffs and so on. So I have them since a few months, they are all like new…

43. Do you watch porn?Look at my blog. I do. Not all the time, but there are periods where I almost do nothing else all day long.

44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)I don’t remember and: No. Whoever my parents may be…

45. How would you react if you found out your parents had sex on your bed?Which parents would do this? Sound like horrible parents. It’s disgusting if you ask me, and I would say this to them.

46. Spanking: turn on or turn off?Turn on!

47. What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?Bedpost. I even filmed it because it looked spectacular, but I guess the movie had destroyed itself before bad things could happen.

48. Biggest sexual fantasy?Fucking someone in the subway at night. Or kidnapping someone (of course only if the other person agrees me to do this). Caging him in a cottage in the forest for days. Fucking him whenever I want to. Acting like I would kill him if he runs away or if no one wants to pay ransom money for him. This would be a thrilling adventure…

49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer?In the cellar by surprise. If this isn’t possible I would do you on the kitchen table, the other options are uncomfortable and not my number one choice, but if you’re horny and need a quickie it may be enough, too.

50. Thoughts on period sex?I indeed would have no problem with it. On the contrary I would even like it.

#yoshiki talks

1 note · View note

ourpyrrhicvictory-archive · 7 years

Note

james- 1-15, 19, 30, 34, 39, 40, 45

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

only sirius motherfucking black-potter. but yeah, sirius. from the day they met, they were to be best friends til the end of their days, and they were attached at the hip. of course, he loved remus and peter as well, but he and sirius’s bond was something unique and unbreakable. prior to that, james didn’t have many friends, and so it was important to him, an only child, to have this bond and continue to build upon it.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

brilliant. james loved both of his parents with everything in him. they had always been good to him, exceedingly so, and they had never let him go without. he loved spending time with his mother, whether it be reading books or baking or going on trips into london. his mother was always around and attentive, never letting her son feel alone even though he was an only child. james could not say a bad thing about his parents, which is why it was so baffling to him to hear about sirius’s.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

also brilliant. he and his father were so much alike, and his mother never missed a chance to point it out. they went to quidditch matches together, played out in the garden, talked strategy over breaks and everything in between. for the longest time, fleamont, despite a little bit more along in age than most parents with kids in james’s year, was his son’s best friend, and they had the best of times. sure, sometimes his parents had to discipline him, but overall, james’s childhood was damn good. but the most important thing his parents ever did in james’s eyes was take in sirius and love him like one of their own.

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

james didn’t deal with anything too harsh for the most part of his formative years, but i think one event that truly put a lot into perspective for him was when he had to save snape from sirius’s prank as well as remus. i think it was the moment where james realized that his best friend did have a darker side. taking him out of the black home did not change what was in his DNA, and it made james scared FOR him. he didn’t want people to think that sirius was the same as his family, and he certainly didn’t want sirius to believe that. james was so angry and scared. it was the biggest argument they’d ever had, the first time james had ever struck sirius, and that in itself was revelation for them both because james HIT HIM. and sirius was having war flashbacks of home, and james didn’t know what either of them were becoming, but in the end there were a lot of apologies and a lot of hugs and tears, and these two boys literally grew up right then because they had to, for each other but also for themselves. they realized then what they didn’t want to become, and i think that’s probably the most dynamic shift in james ever.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

pieces of parchment with lily’s initials on it, a pack of gum, a golden snitch, some chocolate because sometimes remus needs some just because and other times, james really fucking likes chocolate. but also just a bunch of items that could easily become a hazard if james willed it to be so.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

other than lily evans? well, he does dream a lot about stags and dogs and rats and wolves, but that’s truly beside the point. during his first few years at hogwarts and early on in his life, james never really dreamed much. he could sleep for sure. after all, he’d wear himself out with quidditch or just running around with his friends, and then he was wearing himself out beyond normal conditions once a month soon after, so dreams were few and far between, ones he could remember anyway. when he could, they were always so random but most of the time pleasant, definitely a lot of red hair and big black dogs.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

the war definitely gave him little sleep and a lot of nightmares, and many of them had something to do with his friends. they were never quite as explicit as james having to watch anyone die, but a recurring theme was them getting split up and james being unable to find them before he jolted awake or lily woke up. it was always like that, where he would lose them and be unable to bring them back, and it would happen with harry too once he was born, which was probably the worst string of them.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

it’s totally possible that badass lily evans introduced her boyfriend / husband to hunting with guns, and if that were the case, his first target would probably have been a bottle or a can or something. it would not have been the first thing he’d hit of course.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

james was and always would be well off. his parents pretty much set him for life, and even if they hadn’t, james would have been able to do anything he wanted really after school, so his status would never have changed much.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

james “ extra ass ” potter will literally take off his shirt for no reason at all, and that is the truth. he is comfortable in just about anything to be honest, and although he cares quite a bit about his external appearance, he has the confidence to pull off pretty much anything. but yeah, he likes strutting around with less clothing if he can.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

definitely in that moment that he realized they had been betrayed. it wasn’t that he was afraid to die. truth be told, james had always known he’d be a soldier, and he never expected to live to a ripe old age like his father. nevertheless, it was the fact that he has to come to the revelation that one of his closest friends had betrayed him, his son. harry was the only thing he could think about, and james would have died a hundred times over for that boy. if anything, i think he’d just feel guilty now because he died so fast, unable to defend himself, because he knew he didn’t give his wife and son enough time to escape. even then, where would they go? where could they hide? who could they trust? if james couldn’t trust his friends, who could he? and all that is going through his mind just before he dies, and he realizes he’s failed his son. he cannot protect him, and that is the greatest failure he could ever imagine.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

i don’t think i would ever truly describe james potter as calm, but i do think that the first time they were around remus on a full moon, he was very calm. he trusted that they could handle this, and he trusted that they could be at least familiar to remus, and even if that wasn’t true, james was able to believe that it was. throughout the entire process of becoming animagi, he was calm and collected, and that was probably his shining moment in that regard.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

it doesn’t really bother him much, but he doesn’t like to be around it too much. he just doesn’t particularly enjoy the smell, and it brings him back to watching remus hurt himself the first few times they spent the full moon with him, learning how to help him without putting anyone in danger. he would just rather...not. but he can handle it.

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

he definitely remembers faces better and has nicknames for almost everyone, so names don’t much matter to him anyway.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

definitely not. james doesn’t care much for all that. he’s never wanted for anything, and he knows that if he needs something, he can get it, so he doesn’t think much about it. yeah, he can be stupid about money, but he doesn’t obsess over it. he believes he’s got better things than money to be preoccupied with.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

obviously he was quite the douchebag when he was younger. he was arrogant and judgmental, and he would rather condemn than educate. his anger and disgust was magnified by knowing what sirius had gone through at the hands of purists, and he did not hide that disgust. it led him to be suspicious of many people, untrusting and judgmental, and he may have lost out on a lot of friendships due to it. he definitely almost lost out on dating lily too, but he didn’t care much then because he had his friends, and he didn’t need anymore. but he still grew out of it and learned to be better at offering the benefit of the doubt.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

the dark arts. severus snape. quidditch getting cancelled due to weather warnings. hot pumpkin juice. dumb shit like that you know.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

james’s attention span is a joke to begin with, and although he has more patience than say sirius, he doesn’t have much. he doesn’t like the idea of repeating the same results, and so he definitely isn’t for the idea of repeating the same method. he’ll cut his losses and move on. even if that means only slightly tweaking the method, it will never be exactly the same as it was to start.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

i’m sure he’s fucked with an owl before to the point where it bit him. like he ruffled its feathers too much or tried to hug it out of overwhelming james-esque excitement, but that’s about it. it didn’t scar him or anything. well, not mentally.

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

despite james being sort of a prat to his peers, he is very respectful to strangers and elders alike. he is a gentleman wherever he goes outside of school or his home. he’s the kind of guy that tips way too well each time he goes out to dinner, not just to impress lily but because that is how he was raised. he knows that there are people who actually have to work for their pay unlike him, and he respects that. he is very aware of it, and no matter where he goes, whether it’s madam malkin or “ the ice cream guy”, he is always respectful.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

so i always believed that the reason the potters were buried in a church cemetery was because lily brought her religion with her, and james, who found it fascinating, decided that although he might not agree with everything, would at least give it a whirl. and he decided he didn’t completely despise it, so he tried, you know, going to service with lily or what have you. they were married in the church, and all that, so by the time the war in in full swing, and they’re in hiding, james does start to think about his faith and his beliefs. and he prays for the first time and asks forgiveness for his skepticism, and he wants to believe that SOMEONE is listening. and i think he comes to the conclusion that he does believe there is an afterlife. he’s not completely sure about heaven or whatever, but he does believe that he and his family and friends will be united in the end. he has to believe that. he can’t stomach anything else.

#loveisaviolence #owls: james.

2 notes · View notes

littlelllusionmachine · 7 years

Text

Some dead guys and a terrible, terrible mistake part 1

Here’s the thing: the mob owned the bars. There was no conscious effort on his behalf of joining the mafia - that was just stupid. There were constant encounters with those guys, sure, but that was to be expected in a largely immigrant based neighbourhood back in the 40s and 50s. They were the left over remnants of the old empire of booze and entertainment. And though the prohibition had been lifted by the time Luciano was old enough to drink, they still held a firm grasp on all those industries. So, it wasn’t uncommon to have some friends or family members with direct relations to those guys. Even less uncommon to have some ties with them yourself, if you were youth of a certain age. They found use for those kids, sure - offered money - preyed on the vulnerability (and supposed indestructibility) of youth. Be a hero, get women, give your parents a better life - there was a different story for different personalities. All of them got involved, somehow.

And so, it wasn’t unheard of for a story to start this way. By 1957, after completing the longest of a series of arrests, all for stupid things - assault, some minor smuggling charges, possession - the protagonist of this story found himself low on funds. Posting bail was one thing, spending time behind bars was another. It soiled the image of the clean cut american youth - first generation, anyway - feeding into stereotypes. Thankfully this was a neighbourhood where being Italian was accepted. Not like the majority of the outside world. They had a reputation as it was, without incidences like this -

It wasn’t like he was going to get a job at any of the local shops. And he didn’t have the training or skills to do anything in the trade world. However ! As luck (?) would have it, he did have the scarlet letter of battery attached to his person via trade gone wrong - it was business, his excuse - and this was precisely the sort of thing that read employable to a certain group.

Or maybe a specific person.

Uberto Sforza, who was born in 1838, had passed on in 1927 at the ripe old age of 89. He hadn’t been running the family business for a while, at that point entrusting it to his youngest son who, at the time of his death, was only 22 years old and a terribly talented soldato who had just months before taken the oath of Omerta to become a caporegime. This was a surprise to his elder brother, the acting underboss and a good 35 years his senior, who was certain he was being groomed to become the boss. Evidently, this was the initial plan and said plan would have come to fruition had the man been allowed to live another decade. As it turned out, the years he had remaining were simply to be supplemented onto his younger brothers, now the bosses’, lifespan.

Of course attempts on his life were taken too. It was only logical after that stunt and he, a 22 year old who had built up a reputation only from luring civilians into the family speak easy and not by any badges of honour won should be taken out. It was nepotism in its highest form at best, and, at worst, he was simply a power hungry sack of crap. Ten years. That was the only time he allowed his brother. And so, in 1937, Benito Sforza who now was only - strangely ? - twenty eight years old in spite of his 32 years on earth became the boss.

A lot changes in twenty years, be it the power players, or even the game itself. The Prohibition ended. America entered the Great War. Benito had to pick up a nickname to distance himself from the terrible Italian dictator. Benno was much less intimidating and far more casual - which was fine. It wasn’t like he was built for the life he had been born into and there was much he hadn’t been taught by his father, who was already old by the time he was born. His whole life came down to the ancient practice of “winging it” and in spite of some setbacks - like dying - he was making the best of the hand he had been given. This brings us back to 1957 and the new battle plan of the mafia - making profits on bars. Going back to their roots. Alcohol and its sale was something he understood.

So now, at 52 years old, Benno decided he needed a new associate. The world had changed drastically but he had not. And while some of the extended family both knew about and accepted this, others did not. And he knew - ah, yes he knew - the dangers this posed. Or, perhaps he didn’t, but the rival family had people with a similar, ah, affliction and they all seemed to up and vanish. (To where?, he wondered.)

The search would be simple enough. Someone young enough to be unaware of the past ordeals, old enough to have some experience but desperate enough to make mistakes with the same naivety as a child. In short, a young adult that needed money and wouldn’t ask questions. And this was found in Luciano who was at this point; in his early 30s, unemployable, payable with substance in lieu of cash and didn’t seem to mind getting into fights. It wasn’t even like he had to go far to find such a person - the mafia ran the bars, the bars attracted the low lives, and the fights started themselves.

Luciano found himself presented with two options: 1) Do another stint in the slammer, potentially longer this time for a follow up offence 2) Become an associate.

The life of an associate isn’t a glamorous one. While they do work for the mafia, they aren’t actual members. This means they aren’t offered the protection of the group on the streets, in spite of being on call 24/7 for all the bullshit. Murders, arson, assault, intimidation, car bombing - all of it was part of the package deal. The light at the end of the tunnel comes down to two things - if you’re Italian, you can become a soldato and work your way up the ranks. You can also be paid, very handsomely, if you do as you’re told. It’s a game of risk vs. reward: simple.

But there was no potential for reward behind bars. So, he chose option the second option - as Benito had hoped.

You don’t trust the new men with goods so he was tasked with . . Roughing some people up. Nothing serious. Nobody needed to die just yet. A broken wrist here or there, maybe. A bat to the shin. Stupid stuff. The kind of things hooligans do on a normal Tuesday. As it turned out Luciano was quite talented at these feats ! So as their relationship progressed, so, too, did the tasks at hand. Maybe a person would go missing every so often. No big deal, it was the city - stuff happened to people there all the time. Nobody would miss an addict or two. And speaking of addicts, what better way to lure them out than with supply? Now, tainted bags couldn’t be sold as easily - but they could be offered up as payment. Which was fine - when money was something you had in excess it was okay to forgo a payment every so often in the name of pleasure.

It was a fine enough arrangement and easy enough for Luciano to eventually become a soldato. The tasks were about the same if not with a bit higher stakes - more money, intimidation switching over to killing and dealing with politicians. You had to keep up the pleasantries once you were in the family - only these people were allowed to talk to high ranking officials in the name of keeping things. . .civilized. And this meant even more of a payout which was, for a brief moment in time, utter perfection. He found himself able to move out of his parents place in Bellville and into a slum house in Manhattan - by choice, that was - nearer to the work, closer to the excitement, with easier access to everything he wanted. But he was still young - and the things he thought he wanted weren’t the things he needed.

At some point a new Consigliere was brought in. . the bosses right hand man, supposedly able to offer up unbiased opinions. A person not related by blood to the boss of the family - free of Sforza influence, supposedly. Luciano supposed it was true from what he could see - the two men seemed to argue about things constantly. . Easy enough to notice, Benito was not used to not having things his way. If anything, it meant this man could be trusted - he was an anchor to this ‘young mans’ fantastical whims. Never a ‘yes’ man and always one step ahead. Luciano had no idea what it was they were discussing but it seemed otherworldly in a way. . And that was fine, too - it was nothing he needed to concern himself with.

By now it was 1948, 10 years into this mess. Benito had established himself a bit more within the family as a whole - good for him, but not as much for Lucy - his services weren’t needed as often. A lot of idling. A lot of boredom. Missing the more entertaining days. . . Being a bouncer at a bar is a downgrade from the life he imagined he was living - more important in his mind than in actuality, but, what did he know? The sounds outside his apartment were annoying, but he could no longer afford to find a nicer place even if he had wanted to. The bars were unexciting - there was nobody interesting, just the same old regulars.

Eventually he gave up and moved back to Bellville. They’d call him if they needed him.

They never needed him.

Then the phone rang - the Consigliere, not Benito - but there was work to be done. Steady work. . But different work. Finding people, luring them over to the HQ, making other people keep quiet. It was strange and risky, for sure - these were very particular people he’d have to seek out. He had spent a brief moment wondering if there was some pattern to it - who were these people? Why the interest in only them? What did they all have in common? But these thoughts were fleeting when the rewards started to come back. The money, the drugs - the infamy he enjoyed, too, but he didn’t admit that aloud. And after a few months of this, the preposition: ‘do me a favour and try some of this. . .you’ll see the world in a way you never imagined.’

Which, after a binge of excess that would have killed any normal human resulted in two things: first, the terrible head ache of withdrawal from everything and nothing -- this was unlike anything he had to date experienced. And secondly, some intense - and perhaps misplaced - distrust from Benito. But, whatever, fuck that guy.

Dress nice, keep up the façade, and don’t fuck up. It was supposed to be simple. And for a while things were. Everything was easier. The drugs worked better. Weird and bizarre mixes did abso-fucking-lutely nothing. This was the invincibility promised those ten years ago. Weird, too, he was an adult now. An adult that had to live a normal life on the side with so much going through his mind consistently. . May as well figure out a way to enjoy it. Meet some people. Keep his distance from Benno. Lay low for a while.

Or so he’d try. All his recreational hobbies stopped having the same rush they used to. Nothing was on par. The drugs didn’t hit as hard. The people didn’t put up as much of a fight. Par of course, the Consigliere said. But that didn’t make it any less. . . Boring.

3 notes · View notes

myheart-elsewhere · 6 years

Text

im bored pt3 || 11/22/17

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? lick

2. What is home to you? i havent yet figured that out

3. What was the last lie you told? that i was doing great lol

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? for the most part

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? there are hella creepy toys tbh

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. most the shit i do is unacceptable but its whatever.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn’t mix them up.) 1: using a cell phone bc it can be hard to teach adults how to use them lol. 2: seeing a color vs describing it

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? probably in school idk

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? over 15..

10. If humans didn’t evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? talking excitedly about what made us happy

11. How many romantic “things” or “flings” have you had? depends on how serious you mean, so between 2 and 5.

12. What is your paradise? lisetning to music

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) i like the sound of nails tapping on something

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? hopefully none

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? you can stay in touch with loved ones.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? oh jesus here we go. first off, yes- i care about quite a few celebrities. they can make us feel a happiness like no other. if you’re having a bad day, all you need is to hear their voice and the pain goes away. they speak on things that are important and meaningful. they can be our inspirations and role models. when they have a new interview, song (or movie or something else.. whatever your favorite celebrity does) it always gives us something to look forward to. they make you feel less alone. they make you feel loved. i could keep going on but i have 134 more questions..

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? make plans then cancel last minute.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? at times, but rarely. pros: it helps get your point across. cons: it can be annoying idk

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? guitar and piano

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? if im wearing makeup, yes. i dont have a good reason except that i like my makeup lol

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? im loving, forgiving, and supportive.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? “be yourself”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? currently, probably not.. im basically still a child myself.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? listen to 5h

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? today at work

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? i can be both depending on the situation or social setting

27. What constitutes a good friend? them being there for you when you need them, being supportive in everything you do, and loving you unconditionally.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? my one best friend. i miss her.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? “do your homework.”

30. What is your dream job? movie director

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? hardworking bc at least you’re trying.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? some people are shocked that im gay

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? why men can treat girls like items and/or their property and just throw them away when theyre done..

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? hm idk

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. theres been a few but the first one who comes to mind is this girl who talked about herself 24/7 and didnt care about anyone except for herself.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don’t know. You can’t switch back. What do you do? try to figure out life and probably cry lol

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? can i do both?

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? school doesnt teach important classes lmfao

39. Name the last book you read. “trials and tribulations”

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? i would feel empty..

41. When was the last time you made the first move? about a month in a half ago

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? i love it

43. What was the last movie you watched? i dont remember bc i rarely watch movies

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? sometimes

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? sometimes

46. When was the last time you cried? last night

47. What are you scared of? mostly irrational things

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? let’s not talk about that lol

49. What are some of your hobbies? reading, listening to music, doing my makeup, social media, and fangirling lol

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? idk bc im stupid and dont understand what superficial means lol

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? i think im a good friend bc i always put others before myself and i do anything and everything i can to make them happy. and im always there for them.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? sometimes

53. What have you learned the hard way? how to lose someone you love

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? not rely on others to be your happiness

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) writing for sure

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? both

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? smart moments are rare for me

58. What is your ideal meal? steak and potatoes mmmmm

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? be on their phone

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? i love animals, specifially dogs

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? stealing

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? si

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? youtube

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? supermario lol

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today’s society? everyone views it differently. in my personal opinion, ever since the word “thick” got popular around 2 years ago, more people are apprecating that and not focusing on being “super model thin” which i think is great.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? hell nah. if i have school, around 6am. if i dont have school, around 10am

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? HERCULES!!!!!! meg

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? def city

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? either or

70. What are the best things about winter? COOL WEATHER

71. What scares you most about the future? idk what it holds

72. What makes you feel old? when i realize HSM came out over 10 years ago.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? too many

74. What are some of your New Year’s resolutions? havent even thought about it bc they never happen lol

75. What is your life story in 6 words? i am really really gay bro

76. Describe yourself in one word. fangirl

77. What bad habits do you do? give out too many chances

78. What genre of music do you listen to? mostly pop, but i listen to a lot of different genres

79. Most prominent childhood memory? getting doughnuts with my dad every saturday mornning

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don’t, how would this change your life? i have a brother who is 20 years older than me. he lived in ohio and right after i was born my parents and i moved to florida. i only get to see him like once a year. it’s really sad. i think of him more as a distant uncle than a brother. but he always has done everything he can to make me happy and i appreciate that so much.

81. Spirit animal? jaguar

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? not really

83. What is the worst advice you’ve ever been given? ive been given so much bad advice i cant pick one specific thing lol

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. my best friend liv, my aunt lori, and lauren jauregui

85. Favorite memory of your family. being in ohio this past summer staying up til 2am with my parents, my brother and his fiance just telling stories and laughing our asses off.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? affection

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? yes, lauren jauregui. i love everything she stands for.

88. What is your opinion on social media? i love it. it’s what keeps you close with family/friends who live in different states or countries for that matter.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? both, but im mostly optimisitic.. well i try to be at least

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? CONCERT TICKETS

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? getting lost outside in the middle of n where after jingle ball 2015

92. What superpower would ruin the world? reading peoples minds tbh

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? smoke

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? i cant think of any rn

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? ohio to see my family

96. How do you approach people? i.. just.. do..

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? sometimes they change

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? bite my nails

99. What languages can you speak? english and quite a bit of spanish

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? who knows

101. What do you do on your lazy days? lay in my pjs, play on my phone and listen to music

102. What ended your last relationship? it wasnt an actual relationship, but she couldnt make up her goddamn mind and she wanted to be a fuckgirl

103. Favorite food? sushi and steak

104. What is the most terrifying dream you’ve ever had? oooo lets not talk about that..

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? 3 days ago

106. What was the last friendship you broke? one of my “best friends” bc she didnt like that i was friends with someone she didnt like

107. Do you have any pet peeves? people chewing with their mouth open

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? my papa

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? last week

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? that i procrasinate everything

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? lauren jauregui

112. What is your biggest motivation? my best friend

113. What did you want to be when you were little? a veternarian lol

114. What are some things that you are good at? makeup

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? singing lol

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you’re trying to work? probably my phone although i don’t want to admit it lol

117. How important is privacy to you? pretty important.. but it depends on who we want privacy from

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? everyone being nice to each other

119. What’s the craziest lie you’ve ever told? i trust no one so that stays to myself for my own well-being

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? i dont go to parties

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? show off on a skateboard lmao

122. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to impress someone? told them i have a pt cruiser but thats not even a nice car lmao

123. What is your morning routine? on a typical school day: wake up, check my phone, do my hair/makeup, get dressed, eat then leave.

124. What’s the last thing you did that is worth remembering? made a good sale at work today and it was my first day of my first job.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? both but mostly help me.

126. What is your opinion on playing “hard to get?” its stupid

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? pros: you dont have to be afriad of not being honest. cons: it could make someone really mad at you.

128. What do you consider “leading” someone on? telling them you like them and consistenly flirting with them.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? both

130. What do you admire most about your friends? they try to make me happy

131. What do you admire most about your family? they want the best for me

132. What is your opinion on “going with the flow?” ehh stand out, be different

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? i enjoy talking, but i almost always listen

134. When is it time to end a friendship? when they become a selfish little bitch

135. What is the worst excuse you’ve ever come up with? the excuses i make up to get out of going to school

136. If GPA didn’t matter, what courses would you have taken? idk im not interested in school

137. What are your favorite baby names? paris

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? few days ago

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? checking your phone

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. turn ons: confidence (but not cockiness), being outgoing, being able to have a conversation, and a good fashion sense (fashion sense in my opinion haha). cons: ooo being conceited and only talking about yourself.

141. Biggest disappointment. me lmao

142. Do you have any self-restraint? i do.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? last week

144. Prized possession(s)? honestly, my phone. and a bracelet my best friend gave me,

145. What is your opinion on second chances? most people deserve it.

146. Text or call? depends on the person tbh

147. What do you like about the 21st century? it has social media

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? stay strong, babygirl. youre gonna go through a lot in the next 5 years, but you need to be strong and know you will fight through it all and come out stronger than you were before. nothing is what it seems. nothing lasts forever. expect the least and you’ll get the best. and remember, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

149. How organized are you? too organized.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. car

0 notes

hrh-jane-of-the-jungle · 7 years

Text

A Little Vanity Tonight

1: Name: Jane

2: Age: Twenty-Two

3: 3 Fears: DOGS, Home Invaders, Gremlins

4: 3 things I love: Salt Water, New Notebooks, Multidimensional Female Characters

5: 4 turns on: Belly laughs, aggressive agreements on political topics, lots of kissing, music.

6: 4 turns off: Hating kids, TOO self-centered, “I’m not a feminist”, Dog lover. 7: My best friend: I don’t have ONE best friend. I have so little friends that they are all sort of the best. They are all awesome.

8: Sexual orientation: Biamorous, Heterosexual.

9: My best first date: I have dated friends a lot, so like... I didn’t realize I was on a first date when I was on a first date, sort of thing. I can think of two times with former partners that if I had to I would consider “First Dates”, though one of them we had already spent like... not THE NIGHT together, but we had done a lot of making out and such beforehand (best night ever). Both “First Dates” involved just spending a shit ton of time together. We just walked around Halifax for HOURS. Like, one of them we met up at like eight in the morning and didn’t part until.... I don’t even think it was suppertime I think it was more like 9/10pm. We were really into each other and it was sort of the moment where we were like “Yes, we can’t NOT be together. There’s too strong a connection for us to not be together.” I remember it being a very conscious decision to be together, and it had to be, because at the time I was dating someone else.The other date, a few years later, was the first guy I had been with that I had felt a connection to anywhere close to the one I felt with the previous. We met up at about four in the afternoon and walked around until midnight just spending time and getting to know one another. I always say that he grew on me and that I didn’t like him very much at first, but then I look back and think, “Wait, we spent eight hours together on our first date. I was obviously more into him than I realized.” And we ended up dating for two years.

10: How tall am I: 5′7

11: What do I miss: There aren’t a lot of “whats” that I miss, to be honest. My Molly Dolly. That’s like the only “what”. I miss a lot of “whos”.

12: What time was I born: 9:40am

13: Favourite color: Red.

14: Do I have a crush: I have a great many crushes. Most of them are shallow.

15: Favourite quote: Golly, that’s a hard one. Never put your faith in a prince. When you require a miracle, trust in a Witch. - Catherynn M. Valente I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. - Sarah Williams Now and then we had hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to become pirates. -Mark Twain Here’s to the health of married women and their lovers. - Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 You got the face of true love. - Bright Star I also want to get “Only Love can enter here” tattooed onto me. From Tarzan. <3

16: Favourite place: Irish Vale, Cape Breton.

17: Favourite food: Oh god. Prawns.

18: Do I use sarcasm: No....

19: What am I listening to right now: Oh god, nothing. Why am I never listening to something when this questions comes up. I’m always listening to something but whenever I’m asked this I’m never listening to anything.

20: First thing I notice in new person: Oh I don’t know, their face?

21: Shoe size: 8-9

22: Eye color: Brown.

23: Hair color: Currenly black.

24: Favourite style of clothing: Victorian daywear.

25: Ever done a prank call? Yes, I have, it did not end well.

27: Meaning behind my URL: I’ve forgotten my URL. *scrolls up* Oh it’s a Tarzan reference. I’m obsessed.

28: Favourite movie: Fuck. Okay. Um.... Tarzan Cloud Atlas Crazy Stupid Love Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind One Day Love and Other Disasters Anastasia An Ideal Husband Hysteria Hook The Man From UNCLE Waitress Spy Kids Jane Got a Gun War and Peace Anna Karenina Imagine Me and You Upside Down. The Time Traveller’s Wife Stardust About Time When Harry Met Sally Honestly, I could just keep going forever. I should probably stop. Oi.

29: Favourite song: Oh, here we go again. (This one won’t be as long I promise) Jackson - Johnny Cash and June Carter Heartbreaker - Bright Star (Steve Martin and Edie Brickell) Dela - Johnny Clegg & Savuka As Long as He Needs Me - Oliver, but the Samantha Barks version is my favourite. Geronimo - Sheppard Better Love - Hozier Literally EVERYTHING from the Tarzan soundtrack Dust and Ashes - Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 Epilogue - La La Land I’ll Be There - The Pirate Queen If I Believed - Twisted It’s Over, Isn’t It? - Steven Universe Learn To Do It (Waltz Reprise) - Anastasia Surrender - The Pirate Queen Tell Him - The Exciters Whoa, Mama - Bright Star You Grew On Me - Tim Minchin Okay I’m going to stop now......

30: Favourite band: The Spice Girls

31: How I feel right now: Tired.

32: Someone I love: Kathryn.

33: My current relationship status: Single?

34: My relationship with my parents: I mean, it has been worse. We are doing just find just now. I’m actually planing a trip to New York with only my mother, which in 22 years I would have never guessed would happen. Let’s see how we do without the buffer my father provides! <3

35: Favourite holiday: Like, Halloween/Samhain, but honestly at this point in my life, any holiday that’s going to give me a day off is a good one.

36: Tattoos and piercing i have: None yet! I want tattoos. My ears used to be pierced.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want: omg so many. Gorilla hand print with a tiny human hand print, on my ribs “Only Love Can Enter Here”, probably somewhere near the print Comet on my left shoulder/collarbone area 29 hand in crib on my left back shoulder blade My kids’ birthdays, in only numbers (ex. December 23, 2025 would be 122325) “Sort of...” written in my room mate’s hand writing. Either a raven in a coat of arms style on my forearm (I can’t remember which forearm, but it would be a replica of one of my character’s tattoos) OR the jolly roger used by that same character A Lannister Lion holding a Rose. I’d like to do something with a mermaid, but also like... not sure about that. A Little Snake, somewhere. ANYWAY I think that’s it? wow I’m going to be tatted up! It’ll be awesome.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I think a friend of mine asked me to? I can’t remember.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? No, absolutely not.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? No, not right now.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I have not.

42: When did I last hold hands? Ummmmm I can’t remember. Oh, wait, no Saturday.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Depends. Like... an hour? If I have to. I like to be lazy in the morning.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Ummmmmm Yes.

45: Where am I right now? My living room.

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? I’m sober, so like that wouldn’t happen, and my room mate would probably be worse than me if I were drunk, so like, I feel like I’m going to have to be self sufficient.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? I don’t know what you define as a reasonable level...

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? OH LORD NO.

49: Am I excited for anything? New York.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Hmmmm, sure do!

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? At work all the fucking time.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Um, today.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I would be all sorts of sad.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Oh my god, not right now but like I HAVE.

55: What is something I disliked about today? Um, I worked. So like that could have been better. It wasn’t so much the working, but while I was at work I got dizzy and that wasn’t fun.

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? My kids.

57: What do I think about most? The future.

58: What’s my strangest talent? I don’t really have any strange talents.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Dogs. Some people find that strange.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In front. I suppose.

61: What was the last lie I told? God I can’t remember. I don’t lie nearly as much as I used to.

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes.

64: Do I believe in magic? Yes

65: Do I believe in luck? Yes

66: What’s the weather like right now? Cold, but not snowing yet.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? I’m reading Stella Bain, and I’m almost done, so I’ll say that one.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Eh

69: Do I have any nicknames? Janie, Jungle Jane, Sassanach.....

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Broken Heart.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I want to save it, but I spend it.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? No.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Yes

74: Favourite animal? Lions, Gorillas, Pigs, Ducks, Goats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping.

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Oh my god, what?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Dela

78: How can you win my heart? Ummmmmm God idk.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don’t really want to think about it.

80: What is my favorite word? Proper, Beast,... There are others I can’t think of.

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Um....

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Be kind.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not yet. (I’m joking)

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? FLIGHT

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? That depends on who’s asking.

86: What is my current desktop picture? Forget Me Nots

87: Had sex? Duh

88: Bought condoms? For the previously mentioned sex.

89: Gotten pregnant? Not yet.

90: Failed a class? Technically.

91: Kissed a boy? Obvs

92: Kissed a girl? Obvs

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Indeed.

94: Had job? Many

95: Left the house without my wallet? Many times

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97: Had sex in public? Unfortunately.

98: Played on a sports team? HA no

99: Smoked weed? Yes

100: Did drugs? Only the weed

101: Smoked cigarettes? NO

102: Drank alcohol? YES

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? never

104: Been overweight? Probably

105: Been underweight? Nearly

106: Been to a wedding? Of course

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

109: Been outside my home country? Not yet. MAY!

110: Gotten my heart broken? Of course

111: Been to a professional sports game? Yes, oh my god this is taking so long.

112: Broken a bone? No

113: Cut myself? Not on purpose

114: Been to prom? Four times, in fact

115: Been in airplane? Yes

116: Fly by helicopter? No

117: What concerts have I been to? Um, Faith Hill, I think, Great Big Sea.... I think that’s it.

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yes

119: Learned another language? Not yet. Tried.

120: Wore make up? Every day

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Oh my god yes

122: Had oral sex? Yes

123: Dyed my hair? Regularly

124: Voted in a presidential election? I’m Canadian

125: Rode in an ambulance? Maybe?

126: Had a surgery? Yes

127: Met someone famous? Um..... not yet.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Ha, yes

129: Peed outside? Yes

130: Been fishing? No

131: Helped with charity? Probably

132: Been rejected by a crush? Definitely.

133: Broken a mirror? Nope

134: What do I want for birthday? That’s so far away.......

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? Lots. The father will have SOME say, in the names, but I do have the ones I want picked. Not going to say them on social media. Don’t like why, it’s not a secret.

136: Was I named after anyone? Yes

137: Do I like my handwriting? It’s grown on me.

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Molly

139: Favourite Tv Show? Black Sails, Outlander, Downton Abbey, Gilmore Girls, Beauty and the Beast

140: Where do I want to live when older? Like, retired, Italy.

141: Play any musical instrument? Uke

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? I don’t think I have any

143: Favourite pizza toping? Cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Not anymore

145: Am I afraid of heights? Only vaguely

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yes

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Sure

148: What I’m really bad at: saving money

149: What my greatest achievements are: Just being here today, tbh

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I tend to forget about that.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Pay off my debts, invest a little, get the fuck outta dodge. Write for a living. Depending on how much I had.

152: What do I like about myself: I’ve been told that I seem hard and sarcastic but when it comes to what matters, I’m the person people want on their side. People seem to trust me and come to me when they need someone to hear them out. I’m very maternal, and I like that about myself.

153: My closest Tumblr friend: God, idk

154: Something I fantasize about: My kids

155: Any question you’d like? HOW DOES INK COME OUT OF PENS?!

0 notes